Bonus Bang: Lily Sullivan, Carl Tart, Ego Nwodim (I Love Lily)

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While it drives us to create what could be,

that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Where will your wonder take you?

And what will it make you?

The University of Arizona.

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Start your journey at wonder.arizona.edu.

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Hey everyone, this is Scott Ackerman, and welcome to another bonus bang.

Bonus bangs being, of course, where we are re-releasing fantastic episodes of Comedy Bang Bang from behind the paywall.

Now, this week we are releasing another episode in the I Love Lily series.

This is a series that features Lily Sullivan.

Lily Sullivan has played 47 different characters on the podcast, And this week we're featuring another heavy hitter.

This is an episode called Oi Noir BB Bridgers.

And it was originally released as episode 739 on January 9th, 2022.

It features Lily's beloved character, Bicky.

from the gym.

She's an Australian gym employee.

Now, this episode also features Carl Tart as MC Sugar Butt and Italiano Jones, by the way, as well as Ego Wotem as Pastor Pasta.

If you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, become a subscriber at cbbworld.com.

We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, add-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen.

We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang.

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comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang,

I spoke to your dead grandma.

She said she's proud of you for never masturbating.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang,

okay, thank you for that catchphrase, Professor Forthkin, Professor Forthkin,

AK at Thor there are something like that.

And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition.

We are

very deep into January 2022.

We have an exciting show for you today.

My name is Scott Ackerman and we have such a good show for you today.

I think you're really going to love this.

You're going to want to listen to it at half speed to really make it last, to really make it last twice as long.

This is an incredible episode.

Coming up a little later, we have a

man of the cloth.

We have a man of the cloth coming a little later.

Boy, that's exciting.

I love to talk about

the big issues and, you know, is there a God?

Is there not a God?

That's about all the big issues I can think of.

We also have a hip-hop superstar coming up, and that is exciting.

That'll be a little bit later on the show.

But first, let's get to our first guest.

She's been on the show before.

This is, of course,

in 2020, it was the show where we talked to interesting people.

And then in 2021, it was Humanities Podcast.

And I believe the Animal Kingdom became a part of that as well.

It was the Humanity and the Animal Kingdoms podcast.

I'm not sure what it is in 2022, but, you know, last week we had a robot on, and this week we have someone who works at a gym.

So,

you know, I don't know.

We used to have big guests.

I remember Paul Rudd came on in the first couple years.

We had, who's

the Conan O'Brien a few years back?

Now we have someone who works at a gym.

And we had a robot last week.

All right.

Well, anyway, let's get to her.

She's been on the show several times before.

She works at a gym.

I think I mentioned that.

Please welcome Becky.

Hi, Scott.

Thanks so much for having me with me.

Hi, Becky.

Hi,

hi.

Is your name Becky, I'm realizing, but you pronounce it Bicky?

It's Bicky.

So it's actually spelled B-I.

Oh, is it Bicky?

Bicky from the gym.

I think the Wiki is wrong, and that's spelled W-I-K-I.

Oh, nice.

It's Bicky.

Oh, okay.

Bicky.

I'm sorry.

I've been pronouncing you wrong.

I was saying Becky.

Bicky.

Becky.

You can't even say Becky.

Becky.

Becky.

I think I'm saying it.

Becky.

Yeah, you sort of are, yeah.

Welcome, May.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, welcome back to the show.

You haven't been on in probably a year and oh, yeah, no, it's been a long time for me.

Well, you know, gyms all closed down when this pandemic started, so I can only imagine you've been out of work this week.

So, Scott, that actually, it was like a whirlwind for me.

It in what way?

Completely uproaded my life.

My life is

totally different now.

So whirlwinds

you're saying whirlwinds uproot lives, much like they do trees and houses.

Absolutely.

So for me, obviously, you know, I was working at Total Fitness.

I was wiping Din the machine.

Was it Total Fitness or 24-hour fitness?

24-hour total fitness.

Oh, that's the same company.

So the companies combined over the pandemic.

Oh, they did?

Yeah, they were like, why not work together?

I mean, if you have fitness for 24 hours, that's the total amount of fitness you can get.

So, I mean, why shouldn't these companies combine?

They were like, we don't want it to just be total and we don't want it to just be 24-hour.

We want it to be totally 24-hour.

Oh, is it called totally 24-hour?

It is, yeah, that's what it's called now.

Congratulations.

Yeah, so obviously, you know, I was working with my boss, Shinen.

She's a total bitch.

Right, right.

Yes, we've talked about it before.

If you haven't heard Bicky's last few appearances,

you sort of feud with Shannon at the gym.

Shannon's always like, you're not wiping down the machines, correctly.

What is the correct way to wipe down a machine?

I feel like if you...

Clockwise.

Oh.

If you do it counterclockwise, dirt still stays on?

Yeah, there's actually you put more dirt on the machine.

No!

It's filthy.

It's fucking disgusting, Skull.

No.

So you were wiping.

Basically, Shannon, I don't want to call her what you called her.

She's a saying bitch.

And by the way, are you saying bitch?

It's just.

Oh, okay.

That's a totally different word.

So

she and you have been feuding.

Yeah.

And what's been going?

So then did the everything shut down?

Yes, so okay.

So basically what happened was one day I'm in the sneak room.

You know, what?

The sneak room?

What?

The snack room.

Oh, the snack room.

I thought you were trying to say Omicron, but

I was in a snake room just heaving some of my funions, and somebody comes in and they say, Omicron's coming.

Were they panicked?

Like one of those whirlwinds you were talking about was coming out.

They came in like a whirlwind, spinning, spinning.

Oh, Omicron's coming, Omicron's coming, everybody.

I guess I was trying to say, were they as afraid of Omicron as one would be of a whirlwind?

Not that they were spinning themselves.

But strangely enough, I hit on exactly what happened.

They were spinning around in a circle.

Yeah.

And I said, oh my gosh, I got to get out of here.

And I start start spinning, you know, and I spin my way out of there.

Is that what everyone does in this gym?

They just

traverse from room to room in this gym by spinning.

It's a great workout.

I guess so.

I mean, spinning classes, they taught you everything.

That's what a spinning class is.

Right.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, so maybe you should go and take a class sometime.

So,

why did you look down at my body when you said that?

So then I go outside that day and I'm kind of like, what the fuck am I going to do?

You know, the gym is closed.

My whole life is abroad.

Yeah, because you were where I lived.

Yeah, you were living there.

I used to sleep in the sneak room, right?

The sneak room, the snack rooms, yes, yes, you used to sleep there.

And did you also have another job online?

No, that's someone else I would know who works at Ed de Bevix.

Maybe I worked there, did I?

I don't know.

No, maybe someone worked at the Ed de Bevicks because the one you know, I would go to the Ed de Bivix next door, right?

And I kind of was having like a little flirty thing with some of the waitresses there, maybe.

right right so I used to go for my pity melt every day to the Edibivics right your pity melt so but Edibivics are closed down that day too everything's closed down restaurants gyms so I'm like what the heck

and this guy comes up to me totally random you're outside at this point you're not in the snack I'm inside he says I'm an agent whoa slash manager And I don't think you can be both, but okay.

I'm an agent.

I'm an agent slash manager and you are one of the most beautiful people i've ever seen in my life so he was saying man or woman or other just beautiful just stunning wow and i said oh my gosh i had no idea i had absolutely no idea wow and he you had no idea that you were so attractive to this guy like i knew you never met him how would you know that you're attractive to this guy Well, but I am attractive on a universal level, Scott.

Oh, I'm not sure.

It's not just to this guy.

I see.

You think that everyone finds you attractive, not just this guy?

I don't think, Scott.

I am universally an absolutely good-looking person.

Oh, okay.

So I just didn't know because I'm humble.

Yeah, I didn't know either, I guess, because I'd looked at you.

Well,

excuse me?

I mean, you're fine.

Okay, so anyway, he says to me, I'm about to make your life totally different.

I said, thank you.

Can I go back to this?

I'm just surprised.

because you i like basically when guests come in and this is something i've never admitted on the show but i sort of mentally put them into like category category sure uggo or not uggo and you've always been in the uggo category to me so it's like i'm just surprised that you are maybe need glasses oh okay yeah maybe

goggles beer goggles no

because you've your vision is all cloudy and messed up oh okay i beg your pardon i don't again

that it you know

the the only reason I say this is not to insult you.

It's just merely because I'm surprised because of the category I put you in.

You're not insulting me at all.

What actually opens up for me is sort of there's something wrong with you.

Oh, I think it's a good idea.

So it could be.

Because what this agent has done for my agent slash manager is that he basically said, let's make you famous.

And I said, oh, that guy, I guess.

Okay, fine.

Famous for what?

As a beautiful person?

As an actor slash model.

So basically, yes, as a beautiful person.

And he says, let's change your name.

Oh, for stage name, because Becky, you know, it's kind of unusual.

Yeah, well, there's also that song about Becky with the good hair and all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, that's Becky.

I'm talking about it.

You're Bicky, yeah, exactly.

But even still, it's sort of an unusual name.

Right.

So I said, okay, fine.

What should I go back?

He goes, Lily Sullivan.

Oh, so he's asking you to change your name to this random kind of.

What's the genealogy of this?

It's not an Irish listener.

Yeah.

So I said, okay, let's change it.

And turns out there happens to be another Lily Sullivan, but she's a comedian in Los Angeles.

She's not.

at all famous at all.

No, yeah, no.

In fact, I know who you're talking about because I've run into her a couple of times here in Los Angeles.

She's all about town and all that.

Well, I don't know that she's necessarily out in these streets as much as, you know, some, but I think that she is, you know, I mean, she's, she's, I also

categorize people in like famous or not famous.

She's been in the not famous column for a long time, as long as I've known her, pretty much.

Okay, well, so anyway, we're not really talking about her, though, we're talking about me, Lily Sullivan, right?

So, I am like, so your name is Lily Sullivan now?

My name, my stage name is Lily Sullivan.

Everybody calls me Bicky, like behind my back and all that.

Behind your back.

Well, I'm like, I'm still Bicky.

But online and in the movies, because I've already just newsplash, I've been in a lot of movies.

So in the last year and a half, you've been in movies?

I have been in a movies with Daniel Ridcliffe.

Really?

I've been in movies with Tony Collette.

Tony Colette?

I've been in movies with...

Hello, Aussie.

Oh, wait, no, you're not Australian.

No, I'm from Ohio.

Right.

You just, you traveled there for a month.

I lived abroad with a female.

Right.

For a month.

For a month.

30 days, 31 or 28.

Was it February?

It was 28.

It was February.

Oh, okay.

So actually, but, you know, to the date of right, you know,

now, basically, you know.

Yeah, well, I mean, how many years ago?

It obviously couldn't have been two or six or ten because those would have been leap years.

And that would have been 29 days.

It was seven.

Seven years ago.

Yeah.

Okay, wow.

So anyway,

I've also been in movies with the girl from Game of Thrones.

I'm doing really good.

The girl from Game of Thrones.

Wow.

Yes.

the one who got sexually assaulted or the other one who got sexually assaulted yeah the one that got double sexually assaulted oh double oh okay so then um basically what has happened to me though scott is i realized i'm taking off i am doing so successfully and i'm so young yeah how how i mean how young are you i mean i'm 27.

you're 27 so you lived in australia in 2015 when you were 20.

yes and you were born in 1995.

these are all your facts.

I have.

Let me pull up my Wikipedia.

Be careful you don't look up the other Lily Sullivan's Wikipedia.

As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist.

It doesn't exist.

Yeah, as Adam Scott once said.

Just a couple of things to separate me from Lily Sullivan.

First of all, I have like 26,000 followers on Instagram already, Scott.

Oh,

and you, but you've been in three movies?

That doesn't seem like a lot if you've been in three movies.

I mean, I have like 100 and whatever, and I've been in only Austin Powers, Goldman.

But this is me just starting out, Scott.

Like, I'm actually just starting.

So,

think about it that way.

Okay.

Have these movies come out?

These movies

are.

Daniel Redcliffe and all that.

Okay, so the movie with Daniel Redcliffe that I was in.

Yeah.

By the way, he's filmed them's Harry Potter.

That's how a lot of people know him.

So if you're out there listening and you don't know who we're talking about, who is this Daniel Ridcom?

Daniel Redcliffe.

He's in films, he's the boy who lived.

I'm trying to look up my movies because there's so many at this point.

I'm kind of forgetting.

Okay.

But I was in, you know, mental.

Mental.

Yeah.

Mintal.

That was with Tony Galette.

Oh, okay.

And what is mental about?

Let's take a look because, again, I'm so

excited.

So you don't even remember what it was about.

I kind of, it was all just a big to bic.

I was in this movie.

When you're in a movie, do you, I mean,

you're being cast because you're ostensibly beautiful.

Is that what?

exactly so Scott again.

I'm fucking gorgeous.

I'm about I say five eight

I'm a hundred five eight five eight.

Oh, you're five eight.

I'm five eight.

Oh, that's tall.

Yeah, it's tall Lily Sullivan the American comedian girl right from Chicago

5'2 really it's sick.

It's disgusting

I'm about 100.

I heard she like when she sits in a chair, she like pulls her little legs up and goes cross-legged on a chair and I I the weird thing that I heard about her is she asks permission if she can do it from the homeowner I actually don't think that's that weird because I think with her she was probably being polite didn't know if she could put her shoes on your camera well the shoe part of it okay so you're hitting on what what her thing is is but but the shoe part of it

I didn't realize was the real question.

Like, hey, can I put it wasn't posed to me as, can I put my shoes on your chair?

It was, can I cross my legs?

Which is just a strange question to ask permission of.

Well, you know, women in this country and all across the world actually, Scott, wake up.

Yeah.

Wake up.

Even in Australia.

Even in Australia.

I thought more.

They have to deal with sexism.

And so what happens is they start asking permission for everything.

Yeah.

And it's kind of ingrained in them.

It's sort of fucked up.

So for you, maybe you should think about that.

It's better to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission.

I wish, i i think in 2022 women all over the world not just here i think men should ask for forgiveness okay

oh i think men should ask for for what for

everything that you guys do everything yeah the way you waltz around the way you you twirl you saw me you saw me sitting up here okay and that's i didn't realize you were watching me first of all the way you're sitting in your little chair with your little your little crock baits

Hey, they're a sponsor of my other show.

Must be nice.

Yeah.

So you, you, uh, uh, you don't remember what any of these movies were about.

You only remember the title of one.

Well, I can tell you, no, I can tell you, I can tell you the titles of the movies.

Okay.

But I don't want to get into like the plots of who was in it with me.

Mintol.

Rake.

Rake?

What?

Galore.

Galore.

What are these movies about?

Okay, galore.

Galoric amp.

Camp.

Oh, camp.

Sucker.

Sucker.

Jungle.

Jungle.

Why are all these movies that we're talking about?

Robber Zombie.

Robber Zomper.

Okay, Robert Zomper, there's a two-word title.

Picnic at.

Picnic?

Picnic.

Picnic at Hanging Rock.

You were in Picnic at Hanging Rock?

Yeah, you know?

No, I have heard of that one.

I play Mirinda.

Oh.

Okay.

So you know who I am?

No, I didn't happen to see it, but I.

Dark place.

Dark place.

I play Silly.

Silly?

Silly.

Dark Place.

Boy, that sounds like a good movie.

Dark skins?

Bark.

Bark?

Yeah.

Skin.

Bark skins?

Bark skins?

Bark skins possibly be

Delphine in that.

Okay.

So you've been in a lot of movies.

I mean, it sounds like you're not even done with your list.

I met a girl.

I met a girl.

I play Lucy.

And in 2022, this is the one that's coming out for me.

Oh, okay.

Evil Dead Rise.

Evil Dead Rise.

So you're here to promote that.

Yes, exactly.

I play Beth.

Beth.

Beth.

Okay, well, what a career you have.

Is that part of the Evil Dead franchise?

Or it's...

Yeah.

Okay.

So, again, my name,

we gave me a middle name because I think it feels more realistic.

Yeah,

my stage name.

Oh, okay.

So what's your middle name in here?

Lily Jane Sullivan.

But Jane is filled with Hawaii.

Oh, okay.

Lily Jane Sullivan.

So you're Lily Jane Sullivan now.

Exactly.

Not Becky.

Not Becky.

Okay.

I was born the 8th of September, 1994.

Oh, okay.

And

I grew up, you know, it kind of created a little big story for me because, you know, the Ohio thing wasn't so cute.

Right.

So this is that I grew up in Queensland.

Queensland.

Oh, okay.

So that's a fake story that basically.

Me and my manager.

Oh, okay.

My manager, Garth.

I'm realizing this is a real person, that you're a real person now.

Yeah, now you know.

Okay.

I am real.

Okay, because I just looked this up on Wikipedia.

Yeah, you played coral and mental.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

And looking at you online, yeah, I mean, I'm hot.

You're real.

I'm freaking hot.

Weird that you look the way you look in person when your picture's online.

Makeup can do incredible things, but I'm also, like I said, Scott, there's something wrong with your eyes.

We got to get them chicked out.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, congratulations.

What a career you have.

I mean, I know.

You're 27 years old, and you were the runner-up in the 2015

Heath Ledger Scholarship to attend Screenwise Film and Television School.

That's all made up.

No, that's...

Oh, wait, that part of it is.

That's real.

I just did a crish course.

I did a weekend.

Oh, really?

Oh, I mean, how many hours can you do on a weekend?

I did 27,000.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, hey,

minutes.

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

Do you want to try, can you show me some of your acting style?

By the way, if you hear that beeping, I'm getting a delivery here during the

Instacart is getting here, huh, Scott?

Yeah, they're back of the truck up.

Why are you going to be able to do that?

I just basically was like

everything in the store.

Just give me one of everything.

You're like, even these peas?

I'm like, one pee.

I hope you tip them, Scott.

Because I don't think very many mins.

They're allowed to keep one thing out of everything that they picked up.

It's their choice, by the way.

It's their choice.

Hey, so what do they usually take?

Usually they take a green bean.

Just one?

Yeah.

Well, I only want one.

I don't know, Scott.

I think they want to take more.

They must be all weird or something.

Well, I let them know you can take anything.

It can be the biggest thing.

It can be the most expensive thing, but like take one thing of anything that's in a store.

Boy, that is really backing up.

It's really loud.

Scott, it's such a big order.

Wow, you really got a lot of slum.

They have to back up so far because it's such a big order.

They had to keep backing up because

they they get close to the house and they can just dump it all on your lawn.

Exactly.

All right.

Well, Lily Sullivan, Lily James Sullivan.

Yes.

It's great to have you on the show.

Thank you for hearing me.

Welcome back.

And do you think you'll ever go back to the gym?

Well, it remains to be seen at this point.

My career is so successful.

I can't imagine going back in wipe and do all shots.

Do you really make a lot of money being a model/slash actress?

You know what I mean?

It seems like sag minimum to work on a film is like, what, like $1,300 a day or something like that?

Well, I know I'm making more money than the other Lily Solomon.

Probably.

Wonderful.

Well, it's great to have you.

We need to get to our next guest, if that's okay.

Yeah, that's okay.

Yeah.

Well, he's been on the show before.

Now, this is okay, so, you know, maybe I should have started with this guy because, like, you know, usually on the show, we start with the most famous person.

And instead, on this show, we started with a person who works at a gym.

Well, but now you are famous.

I am famous, so you're welcome.

Okay, so you'll be the first guest.

That's good.

I am the first guest.

I've already been the first guest.

Oh, that's right.

We already talked.

Are you going to edit it?

I'm not going to edit you out.

I've decided.

I've just decided.

Oh, thank God.

Okay.

Well, he is a hip-hop superstar, or at least he was until he went into a coma back in, I believe, 1983 or 1984, somewhere around there.

And he woke up out of the coma a couple years ago.

Please welcome back to the show, MC Sugar Butt.

I said I ate your vegetables and drink your milk.

Wear your jeans and a shirt of silk.

Hey.

What's happening, Scotty D?

Play it on me.

Ah, jeans and a shit of silk.

This is so comfy and nice.

The best of both worlds.

It's real comfy.

Because you got a shirt made of silk.

And most people don't bother looking below the waist.

You know what I mean?

So you look fancy, but then you're so comfy below the waist.

You know what it is?

It's a nice mix of like a blue collar on the bottom, fancy little bitch up top.

Yeah, blue collar on the bottom and a bitch up top.

So when I want ice cream, I hit the ice cream shop.

This is a real glimpse into the creative process here.

I mean, you gave her one of those prompts you were talking about.

Yeah, it's all

bean taste, Dark.

Whoa, MC Sugarbud.

It's great to see you.

What's happening, Scotty D?

Play it on me.

Give me a high F I V E.

I will.

Here you go.

There you go, my man.

MC Sugarbud.

Now, you were in a coma.

That's right.

Back in the early 80s.

Is that right?

Let me tell you about me, Scotty D.

I went into a coma in 1983.

And what put you into the coma?

Did something fall on your head?

What happened?

A woman.

A woman put you into that coma?

Yeah, she fell on me at a televangelist event.

What?

I don't know that we've ever talked about this before.

This is very much like a man.

Oh, okay.

I have to say, it's very much like a man to blame his time on a woman.

Who else came out?

I did not blame it though.

Well, did someone push her?

No, she just started bleeding the blood of Jesus.

Oh, so she was having, she was, she was like speaking in tongues and having a moment.

And fell backwards.

She fell backwards on you.

Knocked me out.

Should you have been prepared for that?

Probably.

I mean, when you go to one of those televangelist events, aren't you all, shouldn't you always be on the lookout, like, you know, someone watching your six for someone like, you know, speaking in tongues and falling on you?

Consider it a lesson learned, not a bridge, bird.

Thank you.

Yes.

Everyone's always whirlwinding around in there.

Sure, yeah.

So what,

so you were in the coma for, God, I, I, I feel like the first time you were on the show was like five years or so ago.

And so, you missed basically all of hip-hop.

You were one of the forefathers of hip-hop.

You were out there in the early days.

I was.

Much like Cal Solomon.

I started it.

I started it.

You didn't finish it.

No, no, I mean, it's not open.

You didn't finish it.

So, you

basically missed all of the updating of the styles of hip-hop.

Yes, that's correct.

Wow.

Well, let me tell you about me, Scotty D.

I got a new J-O-B.

I don't have a husband, don't have a wife.

I came here to sell you some herbal life.

Oh, you're an herbal life salesperson now.

That's right.

Well, I have a quick question.

Does your meet on mime like stars of the day or something?

It actually does, but I don't.

What is your meet on mine?

David, but I don't know why he calls me Scotty D.

He just.

Because your middle name is David, Scotty D.

But you didn't know that hi, F-I-V-E.

All right.

Here we go.

Wow.

So you keep touching me doing C-O-V.

So you sell Herbalife now.

Congratulations.

That's right.

That's right.

And I came to bring you in tonight.

Wow.

So what have you got?

I noticed you brought some products here.

What have you?

This is a morning shake.

Okay.

Oh, morning shake.

So I wake up in the morning and I down it.

Yeah, you down this in the morning.

You know, that's interesting because usually I have an evening shake.

You know what I mean?

When I go to the burger store for dinner, I always have my shake as my drink instead of a cola.

It's unhealthy.

It's unhealthy.

It is unhealthy.

But now you're saying I can have a morning shake.

Morning shake.

An afternoon shake and an evening shake.

Wait, so I don't get to eat anything other than shakes.

That's all you do.

That's all you do.

And you lose a pound, maybe one or two.

I want to lose more than one or two pounds.

Honestly, I couldn't lose another pound.

If I lost more pounds, everyone would be like, what's going on?

She looks toasty.

Yeah, too tall, too skinny.

Her feet are so long.

Too much like a model.

Who is this?

Wait a minute.

Did you play Coral and Minto?

I did.

I did.

You saw it.

Were you in Rumpus Stomper?

I was in Rumperstomper.

Oh, my God.

You got a celebrity here, Scott.

Coral, I mean, yeah, it was a celebrity guest leading off the show every week.

Those Those films was how I woke up out of my coma.

Wait, so they played those films to you while you were in the coma that made you want to wake up?

Where am I?

It was probably my monologue that got you.

My mental monologue.

Oh, yeah.

Do it for me.

Yeah, let's hear it.

It's been too long, Jeffrey.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm losing my mind.

And that's when I woke up.

Where am I?

So is someone losing their mind?

Someone's losing their mind.

So that's the thing that triggered you out of your.

If anyone had ever lost their mind in the room with you, that would have woken you up decades earlier.

Yep, that's all they had to do.

Yeah, but instead they were coming into the, in the hospital room, probably being like, we don't want to wake him.

It seems to me like if you're going into someone's room where they're in a coma, you do want to wake them.

I would be walking into these rooms like shouting and going, wake up, wake up, wake up, like throwing water in their face.

But instead, you know, hospitals, that's what they do.

They kind of whisper.

Whoa, be careful.

Don't buy a map.

So you

sell this herbal life

and

what?

Forgive me for the question, the phrasing of the question.

I just, there's got to be more to this.

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot more.

Okay.

There's an afternoon shake.

No, we covered that.

We covered that.

Wait, what's in the shakes?

I do want to know ingredients.

The ingredients?

I'd love to hear.

Okay, vanilla.

Okay.

Chocolate.

Strawberry.

Cookies and cream make you scream.

Wait, is this all these flavors in one shake?

Nope.

All separate.

All separate.

All separate.

So cookies and cream are both separate flavors.

Ooh, I'd love to taste the cream one.

I'd love to taste the cookie one.

It's a cookie and a cream.

And if you sell it, it'll be yours, if you know what I mean.

I don't.

Wait, so we have to sell it.

Yes.

Oh, I thought I was going to drink it.

Oh, you get to drink it too.

See, first, I sell one to you.

And then you sell one too.

Okay, so this is, I mean, this is a thing where you're trying to recruit people.

This is like...

No, don't make it sound like that.

Okay, it's not a PR.

Mike, it seems like they'd scar.

Don't you dare.

Just like a man.

I'm a man, always trying to start a pyramid scheme.

Am I right?

Otherwise, these men talking about pyramids.

Hey, you know what?

The Pharaohs, who were all men, they created some of the best pyramid schemes.

How dare you?

As if some of the, there wasn't any pyramids.

I mean, but they were the brains of the operation.

Oh, my God.

I'm fucking sick over here.

I'm sick, too.

I'm mental.

Starry.

Coral.

So,

how have sales been going?

I mean,

did you see the car that I pulled up into?

No, you didn't hear all that beeping?

Oh, the way that was you?

Yeah.

I thought it was still going on when you came in here.

It was the longest car I've ever seen in my life.

That's a stretch.

What is that?

A stretch 18-wheeler.

Whoa.

Why do they have to stretch those?

You got the 18-wheeler in the back, and in the front is a stretch limo dragon.

Wow, that is incredible.

I mean, look.

In the front is a stretch Limo dragging the big truck.

Yeah.

Okay.

It makes a lot of sense because it was so much beeping.

So much beeping, but that's how long it is.

Yeah, wow.

Long.

It's a long daddy.

And that's what I pulled up in here.

All thanks to Herbalife.

And it could be you and you and you and you.

So,

how many do you have to sell?

Like, how many shakes do you have to sell to get that kind of car?

Well, let's see.

I sell one to you.

You sell two to her.

Okay.

She sells four to anybody else.

And I get a long hearse.

I never did dead in rhyme at all.

Wait, when you die, you mean?

When I die, but while I'm living, I get a stretch limo with an 18-wheeler on the back.

Imagine you and Tony Colette and everybody from Getting With Thrones sitting around drinking a cream shake or maybe even a cookie.

I'm also friends with Jerry from Suxtition.

Whoa, wait, oh, Jerry, which one is that?

Jerry.

I don't know.

The older woman who slights.

I just want to hear you say it.

You think she's she's older?

Oh, you're sick, Scott.

I say what you just did there.

Oh, so that's how you judge women on their age.

She's older than she, for God's sakes.

She's older than the other toe seablangs, Ryman and whatever.

Randall and I'm not sure.

It's weird that that's the first thing you would say to describe her.

I would describe her as the vivacious, beautiful woman who's in charge of that company sometimes.

I know you're guesslining me.

I can say it.

Ryman?

Where's God?

There's a man named Ryman on there.

I'll be Ryman.

When I read a book, I turn the page.

Why did you describe that woman by her age?

That wasn't connected at all.

That's a good book reading process, though.

Turn the pages.

Yeah.

Otherwise, you're stuck on the first page the entire time.

You just read it over and over and over.

Over and over and over again.

Not me.

I have a Kindle.

I got eight Kindles from Selling Herbalife.

Really?

You have a stretch Kindle, you were telling me.

Got a stretch Kindle.

18-wheel Kindle.

So, like, a stretch Kindle is just a very long Kindle that you could read like um i guess like the entire book

i don't ever have to flip a page i just read the whole book

it just keeps going

wow well uh uh mc sugar butt we need to take a break does that surprise you oh my god a break

Better get it do a rhyme for that.

You want me to send us the break?

Yeah, send us to break here because when we come back, we have a man of the cloth.

But before we go to break, MC Sugarbutt here is going to send us to break with one of his MC Sugarbutt rhymes.

Well, I work at a factory that's not cheesecake.

And right now, we got to take a break.

You don't work at a factory.

You're just lying in your rhymes.

Every rapper does.

Okay, I didn't realize that.

Every rapper lies?

Every single rapper?

All of them.

Dirty dog lies.

Okay.

Even Whitecliffe?

Why Claff, too?

No.

He wasn't ever going to November.

He was in the basement the entire time.

All right, we need to take a break.

When we come back, boy, this is exciting.

We have a man of the cloth.

We'll also have more with Bicky, aka Lily James Sullivan, and

Jane.

Oh, James.

Did you say Jimes?

Yes, I don't know.

Lily Jimes.

Lily Jane Sullivan.

Also, MC Sugarbud.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

That thing that says, I will not accept this world world that is.

While it drives us to create what could be,

that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Where will your wonder take you?

And what will it make you?

The University of Arizona.

Wonder makes you.

Start your journey at wonder.arizona.edu.

Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

We have Bicky from the gym, aka

Lily Jane Sullivan.

Why do you roll your eyes like that?

I was trying to remember.

I'm looking up into my mind palace.

I'm not rolling my eyes.

That's a great excuse.

Pretty empty in there.

Shut the fuck up.

Fucking ugly.

Pretty empty palace.

You can just make the same joke twice.

I did, but I was more specific about it.

How much more specific?

You said it's pretty empty there.

And then the second time you said, I said pretty much it.

Pretty empty palace.

Shut the fuck up.

All right.

We also have MC Sugar Butt.

Strawberry chocolate cheesecake.

What?

This week the cake again?

Strawberry chocolate cheesecake.

Does anybody here want an herbalized shake?

Is that one of the flavors?

Strawberry chocolate cheesecake.

Strawberry chocolate cheesecake.

Sounds delicious.

Sounds like so many flavors.

All right.

Well, we need to get to our next guest.

And he's been on the show before.

This is very exciting.

He was on the show, I believe, last year with Phoebe Bridgers, and he is a man of the cloth.

Please welcome to the show back for his second appearance, Pastor Pasta.

All right.

Hello.

Yes.

And all God's people said what?

Hello?

You're not okay.

Not a church going bunch.

What are we supposed to say?

I don't know.

We said hello.

Hello, farewell.

Avidas ain't I do.

I do, I do, I do to you and you and you.

Okay, it is a pleasure to be here.

Pastor Pasta, pleasure Pleasure to have you back.

Pasta pasta, but how you have

a certain

it's the little Caesars pronunciation.

Pasta pasta.

Yeah, okay.

I like what you say, but I hate pizza.

You hate pizza?

What?

I hate nothing.

This is crazy.

Yeah.

The second episode of Comedy Bang Bang of 2022, we find out that pasta pasta hates pizza.

I hate pizza.

Oh my god.

Oh,

it is for low-down, dirty people who don't like to eat with utensils.

Whoa!

I've never thought about it that way because the crust of the pizza serves as both a serving dish and a napkin sometimes.

Yeah.

And other various things, but we won't get into it on this here podcast.

Why?

What other?

No, please.

I want to get into it.

What other things?

I've used crust or excuse me, seen crust used.

Uh-oh, okay.

It's not just a napkin, if you will.

I would like to say less.

No, that's exactly what you said before.

I want you to be saying more.

Yeah, okay.

I'm trying to to think about what you could use it for.

Besides a napkin.

Yeah.

You could put it in a shake.

Okay, you could put it in a...

Well,

you can shake it in a...

You could shake it.

You could bake it.

Okay.

But let me tell you what you can't do.

You can't fake it unless you made it.

Okay.

You can't fake it until you made it.

Yeah.

So you hate pizza purely on aesthetic grounds of you think it's for lazy people.

It pisses me off, frankly.

Right, but it tastes good.

Yeah, it is.

Right.

I've tasted it one time.

I mean, it tastes like pasta, your favorite food, essentially.

It does not taste like pasta.

Italian food has the same kind of flavor profiles across the board, doesn't it?

No.

Wow, that's a typical guy.

You know,

it is clear to me you've never been to, as my friend Italiano Jones would say, Italy.

You're friends with Italiano Jones?

Yeah, we go way back.

We actually went to seminary school together, but then he dropped out to become a lawyer.

Really?

Yeah.

Is he here with you?

No.

Well, maybe.

I don't know.

Well, shit, maybe.

I can't say where he is.

I haven't talked to him in a few, not in a few weeks.

Yeah.

Scott, let me in.

I'm like, oh, it's Italiano.

Come on in.

Hey, Italiano, come on out.

Hey, we're down to here.

I rode here with MC Sugar button in the back of his 18 wheeler.

Oh, you were with MC Sugar Button.

Not your friend, Pastor Pastor?

No, no.

Look, it's Pastor.

Oh, my.

Pastor Pastor from seminary school.

I'm from seminary school.

It is a pleasure.

It's a weird thing.

He said that he talked to you two weeks ago.

Why are you so surprised referring to him as from secondary school?

Hello, Joan, Pastor, Pastor.

Okay.

All right.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello, Farewell.

I bet it's that you do.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, yeah,

I don't really like it.

It's clear this man never been to Italy.

And so I was just.

You ain't never been to Italy, Scott.

He said that he's going to go.

I've never been to Italy.

I was supposed to, I had a whole trip booked.

Let me guess for March 2020.

March 2020.

My God.

You're a bullshitter.

Show us the confirmation number in the chat.

Yeah, I only say the recites.

I want receipts.

Here's all my receipts.

I have them in this box that I can't do.

Just

carry them around.

This is my Italy receipts box.

You see, they're all voided, all canceled.

And condoms.

Well, what is a married man doing carrying condoms?

I was going to bring him to Italy.

You never know what's going to happen over there.

This is sickening.

This is gross.

Have you ever been injured doing unprotected sex?

Yes, I have, actually.

Injured?

Well, I will fight for you.

Now, what kind of injuries, though, Italiano?

Because

have you ever?

What kind of injuries?

Have you ever been having unprotected sex when a alligator walks in your room and sees that you are having unprotected sex, but it happens to be his wife, and so he decides to bite you right on the tip of your finger?

So, somebody sleep, excuse me, so the alligator married to a human, or the alligator's married to another gator girl.

Have you ever been having sex with a gator girl unprotectedly?

I have, I have, but she went to Florida State.

Uh-oh.

And I call her a gator girl.

Also, had a Hoya chest.

And she went to Florida State, the Seminoles?

Do you need to wear protection when you're having sex with an animal?

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Fucking

sneakers.

I mean, there's no fear of like

making a baby.

This is going to be a big problem for me.

She went to University of Florida.

My pardon.

My pardon.

My pardon.

Okay.

I never say bad, my bad, because everything with me is all good.

And if you hear me,

what do God's people say?

Can I just address something?

Please, everybody.

Pastor Basta, this is your time.

We want you to say whatever you want to say.

Everybody is coughing, but they're claiming they don't have COVID.

I don't have COVID.

I may.

For Christ's sake, okay,

you might.

I just can't.

I just got back from Italy today.

Oh, no.

I'm still waiting on the results of my VCR.

Well, we're all going to get it then.

The results of your VCR.

The results of my VCR.

Waiting on the results of my VCR.

Is it fast forward over you?

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be what?

Oh, boy.

Oh, by the way, by the way, MC Sugarbut, this is Italiano Jones.

Who is this?

And who is that?

Listen, okay.

I feel like it's also time for me to come clean about something as well.

Yes.

It's 2022.

We want you to get anything you want off your chest.

What's wrong?

Were you just yawning, Pastor Pastor?

No.

Or is that a heavy sigh?

That's a heavy sigh.

Oh, no.

And please don't comment on my weight.

I don't like that.

I'm up eyeballs.

I don't like that.

That's not nice.

Pastor Pastor don't like that hate.

Hey, Pastor Pastor, I got something for your weight.

What?

Herbal life.

I don't want it.

I tried it back in the 90s.

It made me put on 20 pounds.

Because what I didn't know is if you have the herbal life, you can't have meals right after.

It's not just a drink to have with your pastor.

Oh, you thought that you should eat whatever you were normally eating, but also have the shake.

And have the shake.

I was having shakes with every meal.

You were eating like a gnocchi with like a

sage.

I hate gnocchi.

You're past a pasta?

You can't hate any pasta.

I sure can.

It's a couple of pastas I don't fuck with.

Which one?

I'm blown away.

Okay.

Gnocchi.

Is it gnocchi?

It's gnocchi.

Or is it ganaki?

You put the no.

It's gannaki.

I come from Italy.

It's gennocci.

Thank you, Italiano.

It sounds right.

What he said sounds right.

Have you been injured eating ginocytes?

I actually choked.

I actually choked on some gear.

Gnocchis, by the way, are as exactly as big and round and as spherical as a windpipe.

That's what a lot of people don't realize when they eat them is like they are exactly the size of a human windpipe.

And they slurp from the eating gnocchi.

You are probably

eating gnocchi the size of a golf ball.

They just eat gnocchi.

I was in Greece.

Just close to Italy, but not quite Italy.

Eating.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the musical.

You were not in Greece, the musical.

No, but Tony Colette was.

Yeah.

She played the mom.

Played the mom.

Now I'm picking up your accent.

Where is it from?

Well, it's from Ohio.

Ohio, okay.

And mine is from Italy.

But you know that.

I knew that because we swinged seminaries.

We went to seminary school.

You must have had these conversations so much.

But we did go to seminary school in Florida, and that's where I met that gator chip.

Yes,

Florida Seminoles.

Seminaryals.

Seminole.

So, what are the other posters you have?

I hate ravioli.

Ravioli.

See, you don't like the dumping.

You know what I do to make fun of it?

I call it Rav 4ioli.

You know how Rav 4 is a shitty car?

For sure.

My dad is a ravo.

Oh, your dad has a shitty car.

I know.

What do you think I rap for?

To push a fucking RAV4?

Exactly.

Why do you think Kanye

or MC Sugar Butt originally said it?

I don't rap to push a fucking rap four.

I rap to push a fucking stretch 18-wheeler.

Well, we got loads of pasta in them trucks, okay?

Oh, okay.

I know I shouldn't say this, MC Sugar Butt or Italiana Jones.

I knew Italiana was here the whole time.

I didn't want to say nothing, okay?

But

we are pushing pasta.

Lily over here, and I gasped like that was something interesting or exciting, but

I'm now realizing that we don't know what you're talking about.

we're pushing pasta

well well you're dramatic the way you know what happened with the suz canal huh um if you're interested in what happened to the suz

canal getting overblown google it okay bitty yet you should wiki it what did you just say

oh so you're here to push push pasta what is that what do what do you mean by that we are selling all kinds of the best kinds of pasta ravioli No, we don't like ravioli, ravi for only.

We don't like it.

Okay, I don't.

So you only sell things you like.

We sell things we like and we sell it for inflated prices, okay?

Because right now there's a shortage.

I don't know if you know a pasta.

People was making bread at the top of the pandemic, but now people are into making pasta.

Oh, I got a pasta maker myself for Christmas.

For Christmas?

Yeah, because someone was like, hey, why don't you make us food now?

Uh-huh.

Exactly.

Who is that?

Who just said that?

Who knows?

Someone in my house.

Someone said, okay.

Does someone in your house know you have condoms in your wallet?

No, and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk so loud right now.

Okay, well, I have a secret of yours, and you have a secret of mine.

What's that?

We are pushing pasta, okay?

This is a secret.

This is a big secret.

Okay.

Okay.

For prices, ungodly prices.

How much?

So,

how much are you selling it for?

For how much of the pasta?

We got a tortellini.

Okay.

One tortoise.

One tortellini noodle.

Okay.

Going for 55 grand.

So people are buying.

$55,000.

I can afford it.

I can afford it.

Why?

How so?

From your movies?

Yeah, from Jungle and Picnic on the Hanging Rock.

Picnic?

Jungle.

That's a movie?

Yeah, that's a nice job.

That sounds very bad.

That sounds very bad.

Picnic and Hanging Rock.

Picnic and Hanging Rock.

Singing.

What is she saying?

I'm sorry.

She's from Ohio.

I don't know.

I don't know what she is.

I never got along too good with people from Ohio.

Really?

Why?

I'm sorry to hear that.

They never understood what I stood for.

Which one of you are coughing right now, by the way?

Is it MC Sugar Butter or is it Italiano Jones?

Both of us.

We're talking at the same time.

Scott, have you gotten COVID?

That's a HIPAA violation for you asking.

Wow, he fisher got it down.

If he's saying that, he fisher here.

They don't like you coming down.

Anytime anyone says it's a HIPAA violation, you know that I'm not going to be able to do it.

Absolutely got it.

He's commenting on my body.

No, no, that's not.

It's because he's a misogynist and he doesn't with every bottom.

Well, the thing is, I'm a man, baby.

I know, but that's how internalized it is.

I'm a reverse misogynist.

He's an everything misogynist.

So, anyway, okay.

I just, okay, we got other kinds of pasta.

I don't really have time to get out of here.

Okay, so what's the other kind of shenanigans that we got?

This entire podcast should be called shenanigans.

Should it?

We should change.

It's not a bad name.

We should change the name of this podcast.

What if in its 13th year, we suddenly changed to just shenanigans?

Yeah, straight up shenanigans.

That's the thing.

As someone who's changed my name, it can do wonders for you.

I mean, you know, this show, I hate it when shows change their name.

Like, they have like one or two years under their belt and suddenly they're like, hey, we're changing our name to something different.

It's like everyone who loved the old name is like, this is a betrayal.

I kind of think you guys could use some rebranding, though, because really?

Yeah, because there's been some stuff, you know, you kind of want to get away from, you know, pest Scott.

stuff that you've done.

Oh, that you probably

Scott stuff.

Scott.

Pest stuff in the pest.

Oh, right.

You want to Skype?

Scott, I do think, I don't think it's a bad idea because look what Ron Artess did.

His name is now Metal World Peace.

Yeah, it gives people something to talk about.

Yeah.

Most like Bonnie Rayett said.

I don't know what she or they said.

I don't know.

You don't know John Rayett's daughter?

Who is stop?

The lead in Oklahoma?

Stop.

I was too busy studying the word.

Stop.

Now, Scott, do me a favor and stop.

Okay, I'll say, I'm sorry.

I was too busy studying the word in Florida.

And so.

What's your favorite Bible verse, speaking of the word?

Let me think.

Not to put you on the spot, but I mean, there's so many good ones.

Let me think.

Let me think.

John 3.

Barilla 3-2.

What is Barilla 3?

Barilla 3-2 says, He that eats good gon be good.

And that's just the word.

I do remember that from school.

Thank you, Italy.

Can I ask you something I've been meaning to ask you for years?

Please.

Are you shy?

Your voice is so meek.

It's almost as if you're apologizing anytime you talk.

I'm sorry.

I think that all men should behave like Attiliana Giants.

Apologetically, meekly, standing in a little corner like he is over there.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm back in that corner, by the way.

Okay, I'm sorry for standing in your corner.

See, he apologized.

If he sat in one of these chairs, I know for a fact, he would go, Scott, you mind if I could put

cross my legs,

say it the way that it was said.

Don't let Italiano fool you.

He's not being shy.

Do you mind if I tuck my penis?

Nah, I see being shy.

Do whatever you like.

Yeah, you're gonna let your penis wherever you want.

If you're gonna tuck it, tuck it now, because we gotta go in a bit.

Listen, if you're gonna tuck it, tuck it now.

The reality is, Italiano is not shy.

I was just picking at him, poking at him.

The reality is, the mob is looking for us.

What?

That actually was dramatic.

Yeah, that was.

Can you imagine the mob looking for a clergyman?

I said, I can send you a message.

That's like something out of sister act.

Which Tony Colette was in.

What she?

And Whoopi Goldberg.

Whoopee Goldberg.

Whoopee Goldberg was in Ghost, a movie I did just watch last week in Lisbon.

I just thought.

I have a friend, by the way,

who was going to be on a podcast talking about it and didn't bother to watch it.

And you just happened to watch that.

That is weird as hell.

Why would anybody do that?

I don't know.

Hello.

Okay, listen to me, please, because we are in a hurry.

We have to take a look at a break.

Okay, we have to take a break in a second, but

we can't take a break.

Tell your sponsors, we can't take a break.

We're not going to take a break this episode.

I'm going to say something worse, but I changed my mind because I like to say less.

Okay.

So, here's the thing:

what is Scott short for?

It's what everybody wants to know.

That's what you stopped everything for and asked me.

What?

Can I take a guess?

What?

Sure, go.

I think his real name, his long name, is

Scottathym.

Scottathin.

Scottathin.

Okay, that's a good guess.

I'm not going to say if you're right or not.

Scott is shaming a little bit, Scott of Thin.

I can make you Scott of Thin.

Okay.

Okay.

MS Sugar Bulletin.

Get a bar off.

Get a bar off.

I can make you Scott a thin.

You only have one minute to win.

Okay.

Have you ever said more than two lines in a row?

I'm glad we let him do that.

Get that one off.

I'm glad.

I think Scott

is short for

slutty.

Slutty.

Cushy.

Or you think it's an acronym.

Oogly.

Oogly.

Oogly.

For sure.

Ugh.

Tall.

Titty titty.

Titty titty.

Son, you're just insulting me.

And then the why.

Sometimes there's a why.

There's a why.

What do you think the why is for, Becky?

Yuck.

Yuck.

Yuck.

Well, look, I will reveal what it's short for, but we have to take this break, of course.

But when we come back.

I didn't even get to talk about pasta like that.

And that's my biggest regret.

When we come back, you'll have a chance to talk about pasta.

You can say whatever you want about pasta, okay?

But when we come back, we'll have more from Bicky, a.k.a.

Lily Sullivan, more from Pasta Pasta, more from MC Sugar, but more from Mataliano Jones.

Oh, my gosh, what a packed show this is.

Maybe somebody else, too.

Oh, my God.

How exciting.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

Boy, Sticker Shock, huh?

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Who do you go to in order to solve your problems, your life problems?

A lot of people don't want to hear about it, right?

I mean, if it's your friends, you can just start dragging them down with all your problems.

Like they're there to be friendly and have good times with you sometimes.

Sometimes, I mean, sometimes they want to hear your problems, but enough already.

I'm talking to my friends right now.

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You know, when you think about game day,

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I mean, they're two...

One's two words and one's one word, first of all.

That's confusing right off the bat.

And then they're totally different

letters, although the A's, there still are two A's, but the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair and the W and the

Y is in both.

I mean, this is pretty similar, actually.

Game day, Wayfair.

I mean, you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right?

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And when you're talking big stuff, here's what I ordered from Wayfair the other day.

I mean, when I say I, I mean Kulop.

Kulop ordered a bunch of holiday stuff.

She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween,

A rabbit sitting with a ladybug.

I guess that's year-round.

That can just stay out there forever.

So, yeah.

So, Wayfair's not only got stuff for game day, but also has a bunch of holiday stuff that my wife likes.

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Wayfair, every style, every home.

Comedy bang bang, we're back here.

We have Bicky from the gym, aka Lily, Jane Sullivan.

Yes.

Star of Mental.

Mental Picnic or Hanging Rock.

Picner hanging rock.

Stomper Trumper.

Stomper Trumper.

So many great films.

Welcome to the show.

We also have MC Sugarbat is here.

I don't mean to brag.

I don't mean to boast.

But Scott hadn't seen the movie Ghost.

See what happens when we give him a break?

He comes up with these big stomps.

He just Peters out the closer we get to the next commercial.

Peter.

He just got your Peter out.

Peter was a disciple.

Scott got his Peter out.

Scott, I'm.

Yeah, please, Tuck.

Oh, by the way, it's short for Ascot.

Ascot.

Oh, wow.

You know,

I do like that.

Ask.

Ascot.

It could be Ask Scott.

It could be ask Scott.

It could be as Scott said it.

It could be A.

Have you beatered out?

Please talk.

Please talk.

It's really good.

No, no, no.

I don't need to tuck mine.

Mine literally does crawl into my body.

Oh, it makes a little slide whistle sound when it doesn't.

There it goes.

And there it goes.

It's tucked up.

Oh, okay.

And so, listen.

Pastor Passover, you wanted to talk about possibly.

Well, yeah, but I did.

Don't tell me I'm a pastor.

so I kind of have, I do what the God talks to me.

Okay, God's talking through you.

Exactly.

You're not conduit.

Con, just do it.

Come on.

Okay, well, I guess I could go straight to hell because y'all don't appreciate my presence.

You don't have me come here all the way.

What does God want you to do?

You had me come here all the way from Texas.

Are you from Texas?

No.

I thought you were.

But I was spending some time there.

You were there.

I was spending some time there with a lady.

What do you want to say?

I wanted to say that I only asked you if you drowned because I, in fact, have drowned and passed away one time.

Why?

One time?

Y Clef Jean,

which stands for.

Yeah, what is his name and acronym?

Just enough assets now.

Yeah, well, the whole

Haiti charity thing.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

What was the whole say, say more, but say less.

There's a lot of,

you know, the alt title of this show, Shenanigans.

Something we should Google, huh?

I believe.

Okay.

He was taking money.

Make it your next Google.

Was he taking money?

Google, make that my next appointment.

Can you guys hear my stomach?

Yeah.

No, why?

What is it doing?

He was just making some like.

I got some pasta for you.

Yeah, here.

Oh, you've brought several dishes of pasta.

During the break, you were whipping things up.

You weren't.

So what are you here for us here?

What I'm here to push, pasta.

So which pastas am I pushing?

Well,

Twettellini, we got that.

We said that I'm not sure.

Are we just going to repeat everything that was said in the last segment?

No.

Plot twist is we got a thick spaghetti.

Oh, thick.

A thick spaghetti.

So isn't it a fitted chaine?

Yeah, that's just a fettuccine.

No, no, because the thick spaghetti, its measurements are 24.

Whoa.

19.

Whoa.

37.

Whoa.

Maybe if she's 5'2.

That's a thick spaghetti.

That's what we call them.

That's how we call them.

Thick siscom MMA.

We call it thick spaghetti.

Whoa.

These are like...

First of all, they're not, you know, completely.

I mean, it's three totally different measurements.

I love my spaghetti.

Yeah.

Just like you love my rice.

I love my curvy spaghetti.

I love most spaghetti is curvy.

Once you get it on the plate, curvy.

That's the thing.

I want, you know, when you buy it, it's so straight.

It's so straight, rigid.

It's so rigid.

And then you cook it up, and suddenly you got a curvy, wobbly mesh.

And that's why I love it, though, because that's life.

You don't want to be rigid.

Don't nobody want to be rigid.

That's a life lesson.

Get wet.

Because guess what?

Cooked pasta gets wet.

Everybody shoots.

This is perfect for wet month.

Oh, sick.

You got to strain the pasta.

You got to strain it.

Everybody go through some strains.

If that ain't the truth,

you're going to have to get some strains right now.

You got to strain it.

Everybody's like,

and people have been in hot water before.

Everybody's been in hot water.

Oh, yeah.

So this is a metaphor.

And it's almost like you're preaching.

Exactly.

I finally get your thing now.

Exactly.

And you didn't let me get to it.

It only took two episodes.

No, well, you didn't let me get to it last time because you were too busy asking Phoebe Bridges about her mother.

And her mother wasn't on the podcast.

So it was sort of like.

Look, you have Phoebe Bridges on the show and don't ask about her mother.

I mean, what in the hell?

I don't know how any interviewer does it.

You don't know how insulted I was, Scott, because I kept it to myself.

How insulted were you?

I was insulted, big insulted.

Scale of one to ten.

One to very insulted?

Sure.

Very, very insulted.

How about them apples?

Whoa.

She's mentioning another food, so that means she's really surprised.

By the way, it's not she.

It's he.

And what's going on with the misgendering?

Well, I would argue we should all just go by that.

Yeah, let's all change.

Well, that's.

It's too confusing, like, trying to figure out every single person that you've ever met.

Speaking of change, everyone just go by them.

Change the name of this podcast to bullshit.

What?

Don't you think they'd allow it?

Yeah, who is they?

Who is that?

Tim Cook and the Apple Corporation?

Oh, Tim.

Is it Ainsis?

Team Cook.

They need to change the name of their products to pesta.

Well, that's the thing.

He's a cook.

Yeah.

It's right there in his name.

And suddenly he's making computers.

Don't nobody want cooked apples.

Apple pie is overrated, first row.

Yeah, I said it.

Whoa.

What about caramel apples?

Oh, all of them overrated.

Apples, an apple a day didn't keep the doctor away from me.

I just got a colonoscopy.

What?

How did it go?

Literally, sheep.

It was literal shit.

Did they need to put you out for it?

Was it a big niece?

It's a big mech.

What?

A big miss is this?

A big niece.

Was it a swing and a miss?

It was.

No, they didn't.

Taliano, what do you have to say?

I just want to say, when you said Phoebe Bridges, it reminded me of a game we used to play in a Lemurgi school called BB Bridges.

B.B.

Bridges?

We should play that.

Oh, that's funny.

It's fun.

What happens is if you say a word that begins with a B, you have to say BB Bridges before everybody punches you.

Okay.

So if you say a word that starts.

Almost.

Okay.

Well, B.

But if we say BB Bridgers, you got to say it before somebody hits you.

Before they get to hit you.

But we are so far apart right now.

I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to hit someone.

I'm going to throw my wooder glass at you instead.

By the way, B.B.S.

I said B.

I got a bow and arrow.

There you go.

Damn it.

Damn it.

Not my chest.

Please don't do my chest.

Don't do my chest.

My organs are loose inside.

Now, what's going on in there?

Because I noticed your penis

went all the way back in.

Is it like jarring everything in there?

Well, what happened?

The colonoscopy really freaked me out.

That's when my penis first started running back inside me.

No.

Because has everyone here gotten their yearly colonoscopy?

Sorry.

I do one every month.

I'm not old enough to be sure.

You're not old enough.

Selena, we're the same age.

Yeah, I'm not old enough.

I had to get a colonoscopy for work for my

mental?

What kind of work are you doing?

And by the way, who gave it to you, the director?

What kind of movies?

What kind of movies are you doing?

The latest movie that I'm doing is with.

Because you know, I'm a producer as well.

Oh, I did.

Yeah, I'm an executive producer.

Wow.

Who's to say somebody's not an executive producer?

That's the thing.

I mean, anyone can.

They say so many actors are out of work.

Anyone can call themselves an actor.

You know what I mean?

And then everyone's out of work.

Exactly.

You could call yourself a writer.

You can call yourself an actor.

You can call yourself a doctor.

See patients yep and really get yourself in some hot water so most recently i'm gonna be one of the hosts on the great british bake-off okay uh by the way you're gonna be a host

you said bake off bb design

scott has hit a woman scott has you said dude that's part of the game

you want to kill me

scott just hit a woman he just punched a woman with his clothes how dare you especially when i'm heaving success

and that's you want me to punch you when you're down and out You're punching me when I'm telling you about my success.

Can we just

so typical?

Can we just colour Nascopy?

Billy Jane.

Okay, so my, so the person that did my colournascopy was Paul from right

be

Anglo sex.

Ow!

He punched me in the head.

You just gotta say Bibi Bridges.

All you have to say is Bibi Bridges.

He punched her in the head.

You always said.

I had to say Bibi Bridges before I said.

I don't know how you say B.

Oh, I didn't care.

By the way, you just said before.

Hell!

Oh, he punched me in the gut.

I'm going to get you everywhere.

Oh, my God.

So, when I was a host at hosting Great British, bake up BB Bridges.

Oh, that's so close.

And

by the way, my fist is literally one inch.

You were going for my uterus, actually.

You sicker.

Just sick, Scott.

That's fucking dark.

My uterus is my forehead.

So, anyway, Paul from Great Britain.

Just bake up BB Bridges.

Hey, I don't want to play this.

I don't want to play this game.

I just want to declare because if I get hit, I'm getting a gun.

And that's not going to be a little playground.

You just hit me.

But I will say, I felt pretty safe about the whole thing because Prue was there.

Oh, so Prue.

She's got a warm, welcoming air about her.

Yeah, so she was, she aimed me a little booze, and we sort of.

Oh, my

butt!

Bull!

You punched my baby.

You said both.

Scott, you're hitting her so hard, some of her veneers just fell out.

She just punched my babies, bibby bridges.

Oh, damn it.

Did he get the part of the boobies down by the shins and the one by the.

I don't care, Scott.

I'm Teflon.

I don't give a damn.

I'm going to punch her anytime you say it.

I'm Teflon.

If you don't say BB Bridges.

Did you say you want to go down, Scott, in history?

Bad babies beat bats.

Bat, I knew the COVID bat.

What?

Italiano.

Did it come from Italy?

He said bat, BB Bridges.

I'm punching him.

Don't get in no hot water now, Italiano, because I just see it now.

Don't get in no hot water.

But you knew the COVID bat?

BB Bridges?

Italiano.

Then we're going to have to strain you.

Oh, no.

And then you go,

oh, you know.

I know.

I know.

Oh, I know.

Oh, I know.

Oh, I know.

Oh, I know, BB Bridges.

Oh, I know.

Oh, I know.

Well, guys, look, we're running out of time.

I didn't get to talk about positivity.

You okay?

Because you want to be a little bit more.

I can't give you any cheese.

Come back.

I apologize.

Come back.

Will you say

Tini?

I think I got you there.

All right, we

only have one thing left to do, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

Plugs is time.

Plugs is time.

Gonna grab that bug, put it in the wall.

Gonna grab my hand, throw it down your drawers.

Grab your dick, shove it in my ass.

What?

Gonna make fun.

Gonna do some.

Yeah, this time for plugs.

To grieve, you decompletely my bat.

I guess I didn't hear that.

I was zoning out for a second.

Listen, I understand that happens, right?

Whatever, ain't no sex.

But I never heard it put so explicitly on what seemed like an otherwise seemed like an anodyne.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I thought, what?

This was unexpected.

I'm not judging it, but it definitely caught me off guard.

You said, but, did I?

Yeah,

he didn't.

No, that I did.

I even really mad.

Oh, hell, oh no, we're gonna go to hospital.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Guys, what are we plugging?

Uh, uh, Bicky for uh, BB Bridges, Bicky,

what do you want to plug?

Oh god, this is going to be hard to do.

I have so many credits to plug.

Let me get it started here.

I'd like to plug my movie Mintel, my movie Rake, Galore,

Camp, where I play Marina Barker.

I'd like to be like

I'd like to plug Jungle.

I'd like to plug Romper Stomper.

That's six episodes where I play Petra.

Picky Plicker Hanging Rock.

Dark Flies.

Bark Skins.

Oh, gosh.

We both got.

I would like to plug I Met a Girl.

Evil Dead Rise.

I play Beth.

I'd also like to plug my

new favorite podcast I've been listening to.

This book changed my life on CBB Presents.

Oh, yeah, there's been a couple episodes of that.

Yes, it's pretty good.

I actually think it's the best podcast of all time.

Ow!

Oh,

I'm so sorry.

I could pray for you.

And I would be remiss if I didn't plug the other Lily Sullivan because they're poor sad little girl.

She needs all the help she can get.

At L-I-L-Y-Y-I-L-Y.

You follow her.

I don't follow you when you say that.

Those are incomprehensible letters.

At L I L Y.

All right, people can follow her there.

MC Sugarbow, what do you want to plug?

I like to plug herbal life.

I don't have no husband.

I don't have no wife.

You keep saying that you don't have a husband or a wife.

Do you want that to change?

Yes.

I like both.

I'm bisexual.

I think bisexual people should be able to have a husband and a wife.

Yeah, polygamy.

Did you say, hey, look at me?

I said polygamy.

Yes.

Because I turned my head like, she wants me to look at her.

Look at me.

People, look at me.

I'd like to plug

NBC's grand crew.

Oh, it's a new crew.

It's a new show I watch.

Tuesday nights, 8:30 p.m.

Yeah, that's a good show.

That's on NBC.

Good cast.

Can I plug something to this guy?

Oh, yeah, Italiano.

I'd like to plug a podcast I listen to called The Flagrant Ones, hosted by Carl Tart and the boys, Phoebe Bridges.

I said Phoebe Bridges.

I thought you said Phoebe Bridges.

You hit me.

Ow.

I'm sorry.

It's the time for plugs.

Oh, my God.

Is it Charles?

Hey, Scott, how's it going?

Classic Charles.

How did I end up here?

Oh, my God.

How are you here?

No, I tremble.

I thought I got out of the studio, but now I'm in some backyard.

Oh, my God, Charles.

It's incredible to see you.

Gotta go.

Oh,

I thought you wanted to plug something.

Okay.

Never mind.

That Flagrant Ones podcast.

Did those guys ever drop the act?

I still don't know.

Okay, great.

Also, I like to plug another podcast called XOXO Gossip Kings.

Oh, hosted by Carl Thart and Lamar Woods.

Okay.

Where they rewatch Gossip Girl.

Wow, that sounds like a good show.

Those two are very funny.

Yeah.

Okay.

Pastor Paso, what do you want to plug?

Thank you for asking me.

I thought you'd never get to me because, again, you invited me here, barely spoke to me, didn't let me get.

I don't give a damn.

I don't give a damn who it says.

It don't bother me.

So one time you've tried to hit someone.

It don't bother me.

you know.

There we go.

Mojit vines.

I have been hit.

I've been hitting this life harder than any of you could ever hit me.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Okay.

So what do you want to plug now?

But hit me, though, because we got to keep the thing going.

Okay.

Just

I want to plug Rotini.

I want to plug

Orquette.

I want to plug Lasagne.

I want to plug macaroni as a pasta.

Yes, we know.

You say that like you're teaching us.

I wasn't going to find you on it.

I want to plug Campanelli.

Campanelli?

I mean, you want to plug ZT.

Okay, okay.

Penny.

Linguine.

Okay.

Linguine.

Manicote.

She's going to run.

Or he's going to run out at some point, I think.

I want to plug Trophy.

Trophy?

Have you ever had Trophy El Pesto in the pesto region of Italy?

I don't.

You haven't.

Because you haven't been to Italy.

Because all you had was the receipts and condoms to show for your little trip that never happened.

I want to plug Orzo.

I want to plug

Mafaldini.

I want to plug.

I know all of you.

I want to plug Peachy.

Peachy.

I want to plug egg noodles.

Egg noodles.

That's a stretch, Chicago.

That's a stretch.

Have you ever had Beats Krogano?

I want to plug Fusilli.

I got you, Nataliano Jones.

I want to plug gagonelli delicious, by the way.

I made it one.

With a kind of a runny egg on top of it.

Oh, damn.

That seems good as I don't like a runny egg, but I've been told that's delicious at a restaurant in New York City called La Tussi.

Anyway, want to plug.

I love how slow this is going.

I'm going to take it a little longer, Moi.

Agnolatti.

All right, we only have time for 12 more.

Okay, understood.

Understood.

Understood.

Jemily.

Jemily.

Jemily in Paris.

Jemilee in Pali.

I want to plug.

S-C-I-A-L-S-C-R-T-E-L-L-I.

Scott IT.

I want to plug Vermicelli

or Vermicelli, maybe.

Yeah, then it's Vimicelli when it's a say without the CH.

Hey, I've been to Italy.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I don't know what I was doing.

I want to plug

Cavatappi.

I want to plug.

I'm almost through, Scott.

Please,

my eyes are banging, dude.

Come on, Scott.

You didn't let me.

Okay.

All right, go.

Only time for nine more.

Nine more.

Papradelli.

Oh, yes.

Calamarata.

Cason.

Casso.

Jesus.

Nine.

Enough.

No more.

I know.

No more.

Oh, I know it.

Oh, I know it.

Just one last one.

One last one.

Oh, you know.

Because this could be the last time I'm on this podcast.

I think it might.

That's going to be my decision, not yours.

I think it's the last time.

So I just want to have two more.

Okay, two more.

radiatory.

Okay,

sure.

And I want to plug.

Last one is

Rotelli.

It's the little spin wheels.

Oh, thank God he said.

Stay fine.

Thank God.

Oh, my God.

Fasta has changed my life.

Okay, okay.

So it's okay.

This is getting very emotional for you.

All right.

I want to plug.

Look, hey, if you want to listen to episodes of this show, all the entire 738 before this came out and all the live episodes, head over to cbbworld.com.

We also have great shows like the Andy Daily Podcast Project, where he's doing bonanas for bonanza.

We have the aforementioned This Book Changed My Life with Lily Sullivan as part of CBB Presents.

We just put out a great CBB Presents with Randy Snuts.

Saigid.

Saigud.

Randy Snuts just had an episode.

That was a great one.

And where he hosted his own show.

And of course, Scott hasn't seen just last week we watched Foot Loose with Weird Al Yankovic.

And we're watching Flash Dance this week.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

And this is exciting.

This is our very first closing up the plug bag remix.

Here we go.

Now.

Take one hand, put it up.

Take the other, put it down.

You're gonna make a box.

It's time to start to close it.

But don't close it too much, or you open up the plug bag.

We're opening up that plug bag.

And when you open up that plug bag, you open up your heart for the rest of the world.

I'm talking, open up the plug bag.

Open up the plug bag.

Open up the plug bag as high as you can.

Then you open up your heart.

Open up.

Still going?

Nope.

I think that's it.

Wow, that was,

let's see, that was Christopher Rod Stewart with Closing the Plug Bag Theme 2022.

By the way, the opening of the plug bag theme, that was this is your brain on plugs with plugs.

Want to make sure to plug both of those guys.

Thank you so much for the, that was great.

And we heard the small chat robot as part of that theme.

That was was wonderful uh guys i want to thank you so much uh first of all uh bicky aka lily sullivan i want to thank you so much lily jane sullivan so lily john sullivan thank you so much uh so great to see you can uh continued success to you

is that something you can wish to someone can you continued success to you i wish good good success for you

okay even though you know in my opinion you in person you're you know just not not as hot as your photos

you know again I don't really take it personally because I know there's something dry.

Ow!

You said because

you said because.

Oh, shit.

All right.

Italiano Jones.

Yes.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

You're so polite.

Thank you so much for having me on the show.

Thank you for having me.

I appreciate it.

And MC Sugarbud.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

No, Rhyme.

Oh, yeah, rhymes with hell yeah.

All this time we buy no owl.

Shit.

Cinnamon toast trunch.

Trunch.

And of course, Pastor Pasta.

Thank you for having me, Scott.

I will be back.

You will.

I will be back.

I just want to say I'll be back.

I know where y'all do it now.

So

you've said being back about eight times, by the way.

Seems like a threat, almost like

a cheese quake.

Anyone want an herbal life shake?

Oh, very good.

All right.

We'll see you next time.

Thanks.

Bye.

When life brings the blah, add more Yabba Dabba-doo with some tasty fruity pebbles.

Early morning meeting?

Blah.

Someone brought the pebbles?

Yaba-dabba-doo.

Run errands?

Blah.

Head to the store for pebbles.

Yabba-dabba-doo.

Fruity pebbles, less blah.

More yabba-dabba-doo.

Pick up pebble cereal today.

Yabba dabba-doo and the flintstones and all related characters and elements.

Copyright and trademark, Hanna-Barbera.

A 150-foot-tall Branosaurus, that's something you have to see to believe.

Make sure to fill up with Chevron with Techron along the way, giving cars unbeatable mileage and helping to keep critical engine parts clean so you can fuel up on memories.

Chevron with Techron, fueled by possibility.

A massage chair might seem a bit extravagant, especially these days.

Eight different settings, adjustable intensity, plus plus it's heated, and it just feels so good.

Yes, a massage chair might seem a bit extravagant, but when it can come with a car,

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The all-new 2025 Volkswagen Tiguan, packed with premium features like available massaging front seats, it only feels extravagant.