Bonus Bang: Flula Borg, Shaun Diston, Lily Sullivan (I Love Lily)

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Hey, everyone.

This is Scott Ockerman, host of Comedy Bang Bang, and welcome.

to another bonus bang where we re-release our great episodes of comedy bang bang out from behind the paywall And

we're starting a new series this week.

Very exciting.

What is this one called?

This is called I Love Lily.

I love Lily.

That's right.

It's featuring our very own Lily Sullivan.

It's finally time to give her a shout out.

And we are going to start this series this week with Lily's very first appearance on Comedy Bang Bang.

This episode is called Miss Purd

and originally released on December 9th, 2018, as episode 577.

That's right.

I mean, Lily only started doing the show in late 2018.

Hard to believe.

This one features Flew LeBorg, the great Flew LeBorg.

We also have Sean Diston as Sprague the Whisperer, and of course, Lily Sullivan as quote, girlfriend, unquote, Kayla Dickey.

Kayla Dickey is a classic classic character.

You'll hear all about her.

She's going to talk about her boyfriend's big truck, amongst other things.

This is a really great episode and a great debut from Lily.

We're going to be hearing from Lily for several weeks.

Now, if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, well, There's an easy way to do it.

Become a subscriber at cbbworld.com.

We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show we've ever done, ad-free new episodes.

And then, of course, we have original shows like CBB Presents, where characters from Comedy Bang Bang host their own shows.

We have Scott Asn's Scene, where Sprague the Whisperer, who you'll hear this episode, and I we watch movies and review them.

We also have College Town, The Neighborhood Listen, so many great shows over there.

We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang.

If you're a lonely spider who feels like an outsider, then have some worm worm friends.

Oh, I thought it said warm worm friends.

No, it's worm friends.

Okay, this makes more sense.

If you're a lonely spider who feels like an outsider, then have some worm friends over for the fire, pie, and spider cider.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Yeah, that's a lot.

I don't know why I picked that one.

It had a lot of words, and I didn't read it beforehand, and there it is.

Thank you, though, to the sad note, Labis the Sad Prince.

What does that mean?

Labis the Sad Prince for that catchphrase submission.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week, another episode.

And what an episode it is.

Coming up a little later on the show, we have an advisor.

Wow.

That sounds amazing.

Maybe I'll get some advice or maybe he's here to give advice to other people, not including me.

And also a little later, we'll have a girlfriend.

That's weird.

A girlfriend.

All right.

Well, sure.

That's coming up later in the show.

My name's Scott Auckerman.

Welcome to the show.

And returning to the show, a returning champion, some might say.

Oh, there are champions crowned?

Yeah, do we see?

Bang bang?

Yes, we do.

We crown a champion at the end of the show.

So in your previous episode that you were on, we did not give you an award.

Is that correct?

I I received zero certificates.

Okay, well, unfortunately, maybe you didn't do all that well.

Perfect.

However, though, now you are returning, which makes you a champion.

Oh, thank you.

You weren't a champion before and are returning.

I'm so excited.

You have returned, and that thus that makes you a champion.

Yeah, as a German, we can't really accept awards or any kind of positive distinctions.

It's part of the contract.

So, I know you're fully able to give out a lot of negativity.

Yes, yes, we exude it and then we direct it towards ourselves.

Right.

And that's just how it works.

You know him from

such

things as his comedy.

You know him.

I believe I saw him on Homeland.

Did I not see you on Homeland?

I was also, there's a Trader Joe's just in Kutuluka Lake.

Tuluka Lake?

I used to live right next to it.

Oh, yes, from 9 to 9:30 every morning I get the Go Raw Trail Mix in two packages.

So I've seen you there many times.

Why not buy in bulk?

And then you wouldn't have to go every day.

Cardiovascular exercise is very important, Mr.

Augman.

That is your only cardiovascular exercise is going to and from Trader Joe's.

I burn the calories and I eat them and repeat.

Like the shampoo.

Okay.

So you're staying at neutral.

Yes.

You burn enough calories for that trail mix and then you eat it off.

It is like the stock market.

It's a zero-sum calorie game.

Yes.

You're playing the stock market wrong, by the way.

But we do want to introduce you.

You've also seen him in the Pitch Perfect films

or one of them.

I can't recall.

I think only one.

Only one.

Number two.

Is that right?

Yeah, perhaps.

Perhaps.

I have not.

I don't know.

You've done so much in your career, you barely remember it.

I don't watch anything.

Really?

You've never watched any of your performances?

I don't watch any bodies of anything.

I just...

You don't watch anyone's performances.

I'm busy watching.

You've never seen movies or TV?

No.

No, no.

I watch plays primarily in northern Bavaria.

And then I once participated in a sexy contest in northern Franconia.

You participated?

Yeah, I did.

And were you a returning champion there?

No, I placed three.

Oh, okay.

The bronze.

The bronze.

Bronze sexy.

What did, and we'll introduce you in a moment.

What did you have to do in order to participate in this competition?

Was it, first of all, what did you have to do to entry?

Yeah.

Entry.

To enter.

Yeah.

And what did you have to do whilst you were in the competition?

You have to have an occupation.

And so they're like, what is your occupation?

And then I said, I'm a hype man.

And so then I did hype man a local library in Erlangen is my hometown.

Okay.

And so I did pump everybody up very hard with some beastie boys.

Okay.

And this is how I was accepted into the contest.

And to whom were you hyping?

Normally a hype man is an accessory, right?

Yeah.

Part of a team, am I right?

This is correct.

Yeah.

I recruited two senior citizen females who were in a continuing education class of Spanish and they were renting some books.

And so I said, may I hype you into the library, please?

They were renting the books.

They were renting the books.

I was renting them as my hype.

It's not the typical library situation.

Normally, you just borrow them.

It was odd.

Yeah, yeah.

Everyone did not understand what was happening.

Okay, they just erected a library and thought that they should rent out the books.

Yes, everyone was erect and we filmed it.

And then, oh,

so that's what you did for the competition.

Yes.

Returning to the show, Flula is here.

Hello, Flula.

Welcome.

Welcome back.

Thank you very much.

You're wearing a famous monster's t-shirt, of which there is one monster, I believe, by the name of Godzilla.

Yeah, Godzilla.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he is the most close to the dinosaur Triceratops.

I could not find my Triceratops t-shirt, so I'm wearing this.

You couldn't find it, really?

No, yeah.

Okay.

That's too bad.

And

I believe...

he has a subway car in his mouth.

Yeah, he's munching on trains.

That's how big he is.

See, when you you show a picture of Godzilla, you need to show something that shows how big he is for scale.

Yeah, sometimes a nickel or perhaps a dime.

Sure.

That would be...

See, now, normally I see a picture of Godzilla, and he has a tiny nickel by his toe.

So smart, you know, but then where is the rest of the body?

This is a large t-shirt you're wearing.

Right, exactly.

How have you been?

It's so good to see you back.

I'm very good.

My blood pressure is in normal range.

Okay, great.

I have been exercising very much.

I have recently started a podcast called Boom Time.

Boomtime, yes.

That is

one of your catchphrases.

Am I right?

Boom time?

Yeah, well, boom is it always.

I scream it, and then I like to say, like, what time is it?

It is boom time.

Right.

And is that primarily what happens on the podcast?

Most people, I say, what time is it?

And then if they are incorrect, we continue until they say boom time.

And then we do an ad read, and then we are finished.

So this is about two minutes long, depending on if they get it or not?

You can be surprised.

There are some people 45 minutes.

We have a podcast.

It's lots of guessing.

And you're one of

Germany's great comedians.

Is that correct?

Nobody knows that.

I did not know that people thought I was a comic person, so nobody knows that.

You just put your stuff out there.

You don't know if people think it's funny, if people think it's serious.

Yeah, I have a reggae album.

Some people said best album ever.

Other people wrote, just send me doo doo.

You know, so like you don't know what will happen.

And you were out there

opening for, or not opening for Conan O'Brien, but you're his disc jockey, is that correct?

That's correct.

Yeah, yeah, Conan O'Brien, host of Conan Needs a Friend, an Earwolf podcast.

Okay, sure, yeah, free drop.

Yeah, he needs a little more advertisement.

He does, he does.

I'm his DJ, and yes, I do open the show to explain to people how pumped up they must be before Conan enters.

And how pumped up should they be?

It should be so your ears.

Have you heard of tinnitus?

Yes,

you should develop it.

Just that particular evening.

Yes, before Conan is entered, you need to feel like a big out.

That's how pumped up people need to be for Conan.

Absolutely.

Really?

And that helps his performance?

I don't know.

This is just my job.

Yeah.

Has his performance changed based upon how you perform your tasks?

I think so, but also I am Clueless.

So I'm just happy if I don't expire and if Conan is excited.

I would like to see you in a remake of Clueless, speaking of that.

I would love to see you.

In the Alicia Silverstone role.

Oh, will we do this?

Yes, let's do this.

I will start growing my hairs.

Which ones?

Your beard or?

Oh, no, the top.

Oh, okay.

The top.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the top follicles.

Okay.

And then.

How many can you grow?

Let's see.

We got the top.

Top.

We got the

right under the nose there.

Yeah.

Two of those.

We got the chinny, chin, chin.

And the nippies.

And the nippies, right?

Yeah.

Now, down below, those don't grow.

No, I shave that.

Oh, okay.

Gotcha.

Always.

Always.

Yeah, yeah.

As you say, airport.

You know?

Yes, the landing strip.

Oh, what?

Yeah.

Okay.

You have a little Brazilian.

Well, I'm like Chicago.

There's O'Hare and Midway, so I have two swords.

Yeah.

So

the podcast is boom time.

And

who appears on this program?

What type of guests do you have?

Do you have community activists?

Like sometimes I have, listen to my guests today.

Advisor and girlfriend.

Is this the type of thing that you have on your show?

This is vake.

Are these like illegal aliens?

I don't know why they're hiding what they do and their identity.

I don't understand.

I'm excited and afraid to meet them.

And on boom time, we have any normal guests like Edward Helms, if you have heard of this person.

Yes, I know Ed Helms, I do know.

Yes.

I like to, okay, Ed?

Yeah, Ed is I'm a little more familiar with him, I think.

I went to see one of his movies and they called him Ed, and it was sort of like, oh, yeah, call me Ed.

Oh, oops.

Implicit in that.

It's like potato.

Yes.

Got it.

Also, Very Strange Olympians, Nick Simmons, who was Olympian and also can run the beer mile, which is a real event.

The beer mile?

You are chugging many beers, four beers in one mile.

This is not a real thing.

You have to do four in one mile.

Every 0.25 miles, you must chug at the beer.

You have to chug it before you can continue.

You must chug it before you can lug it, yeah.

Yeah,

yeah, I've heard of lick it before you kick it, but chug it before you lug it.

Yes, this is a new one.

And so by the end of one mile, you've drank four beers.

Four beers.

How many miles is it?

Just one?

It's one, and it is.

He has his record is seven minutes.

Seven minutes?

That's not bad.

I can run a mile in about

20 or so.

So, yeah, yeah.

That's pretty under below.

And I'm not drinking the beers during that.

So maybe it would give me a little win beneath my wings.

Exactly.

Some chariots of fire.

Yeah, exactly.

And is there, could they also have a competition of how many beers one could drink while running a mile?

How many beers could a beer chug chug if a truck could chug

run?

Yes, exactly, yes.

Yeah, exactly.

That could be a separate competition.

They could run side by side.

Someone could be trying to do it fast while drinking four.

The other person could just be like, as fast as I can go, as many as I go.

By the end of the mile, if I drink 20, then I win.

Vomiting.

No matter how fast or slow I go.

I like this very much.

It could take all night.

Any days.

Any nights.

All the fortnights.

I'll play this.

Yes.

Let me know when this has happened.

If this is a podcast, I will start it as well.

And so you talk to these people on the show, and they

it's a conversational show.

Yeah.

Much like this one.

We're having a conversation right now.

We are conversing.

Yes, we are conversing so deep and hard.

And I do this also with my guests.

I ask questions that perhaps they have not heard heard before.

Oh, really?

Like what?

Well, it's usually the sentence structure that they have not heard before because, as a German person, we are very.

It's a little backwards.

The syntax is a little.

They hear a subject, they don't know where is the predicate, and they must wait in minutes.

So it can be confusing.

It can be very confusing.

But that's part of the fun.

Absolutely.

And I'm super excited all the time.

I've never seen you in a bad mood.

Yeah, it does not exist.

Right.

You just wake up this way.

Is that right?

I do.

I scream boom time and then I go, I put on pantaloons and I do it.

So is that?

And if you're out there and you're wondering, how do I get in a good mood for the day?

Because a lot of people like today is a Monday.

Yeah.

You know,

you open your weary eyes and it's like, oh, fuck, the whole week is about to start.

If you just scream boom time,

that gets you up, right?

Immediately improves your heart rate.

You feel very good.

And if you think a bad thought, well, then just pee on it.

Very good.

See, this is you have such a wonderful

point of view, a POV, as I like to say.

Yeah, P-P-OV.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah.

And

do you have any tips for the, you know, a lot of people listen to this show trying to

get into a better mood.

We have a fun, just light-hearted show.

Do you have tips for people out there, for people struggling with mental health?

Yeah, I think scream into a pillow.

And then if this does not work, scream into two pillows.

And just adjust the pillow number.

Yeah, yeah, increase your pillows.

And then if this does not work.

You might find your pillow number at some point.

For some people, it might be five.

Yeah, and some people 15.

Right.

We don't know.

Yeah, exactly.

We have no idea, but that's at some point you're going to find your pillow number and you'll feel great.

And then you can scream.

And if these pillows don't work, then scream at real life people on the street for no reason.

Sure.

I think I've seen some people using this method.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Franklin and Hillhurst.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Felila, you're a wonderful,

just a ray of sunshine.

Oh.

Do you get sunshine in Germany?

We do, but I hate it, which is why I've written a techno song called Clouds, Why Are You Hiding?

Which I wrote when I moved to Los Angeles.

Usually the clouds are hiding the sun, but you see the opposite.

Yeah, because why?

The sun is just you, you, as you can see, I'm a honky-donk pale person.

Yes, you are.

You and I are having a pale-off right now.

Oh, I am winning so hot.

We're, yeah, yeah, we're in the Paley Festival right now.

That's correct.

And

what has your life been like?

You now live here in Los Angeles.

Has it been an adjustment for you?

Yes, I'm very confused by the traffic circuit are so deep um there are no there's not a lot of traffic in Germany or just everyone's on a moped we have mopeds we have cycles and now but now they're like oh we have solved it in America we have the bird this the bird scooter I saw one of those by my house the other day I was like what the fuck is this doing here but you see them in the urban you know areas but by my house right you know weird oh yes wait who just who just left it there how yeah they just pooped them out it's just you just like drive wherever you want to go and then you just toss it off to the side of the street it's ridiculous i I do not like this.

We're going to be

walking around.

There's just like scooters lying everywhere.

I didn't sign up for that.

I agree with this.

So hot, Mr.

Auckerman.

So, but has it been an adjustment for you?

I mean, it's the land of sunshine.

I do not like the weather, yeah, because here in Los Angeles, there is no weather.

It does not shift.

You know, there are no four seasons like the pizza.

It's just one season, and it's just too bright.

Too bright like Big City, and I need some cheese.

Imagine just having cheese pizza all your life.

Who is wanting this?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, give me some pepperoni.

It took me a second second to understand what you just said, but yeah, once I did.

Well, we say salami, so I have to always switch.

When I say salami, people are like, what is this?

Is it the exact same thing, salami and pepperoni, or do you have what we call salami on pizzas?

We only say salami, and when I say it, everyone is like, you mean Rashan Salam, the running back from the Colorado Buffaloes?

Everyone, that's a common mistake to make.

I said, no, salami, like the pork meats, delicious.

So now I say pepperoni.

Okay, now you say pepperoni.

Yeah.

So that's been the biggest adjustment for you.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, you know.

You knew this when you saw me in in the face.

You're like, oh, this guy, yeah.

Me cheek.

Me faced confusion.

Absolute.

Well, Flula, it's always wonderful to have you on the show.

This is your second time.

How many do you think you'll eventually do?

2.4.

Okay, yeah, we'll have you back and kick you out about four-tenths of the way through.

Four-tenths, I'm out.

And I'll end up.

Larry Fortensky.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Well,

tell you what.

You can stick around.

Why don't we, you and I, you're the host of a podcast.

I'm the host of a podcast.

Let's co-host this podcast.

Stop the presses.

You know, you don't have to be like Conan's hype man with me.

You can just be like an equal.

We're peers.

I don't think it's allowed yet.

I'm very happy to be subverted by you.

Just to be there to support you with those hands, you know, on the dove as they say.

Okay, I don't know what you're doing with your hands right now.

Sorry.

I was like when they throw it to a wedding.

Throw the doves like in a wedding?

Or the ravens go into Winterfell to tell everyone.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

That's a more common reference than doves at a wedding.

Okay, sorry.

Yeah,

people don't really throw the doves at weddings anymore.

That used to be a big thing.

It's on Wu killed it.

Yeah, exactly.

Now they're like, oh, it's a cliche.

Yeah, stop it.

Oh, please.

That's like, you know, late 90s Wu.

Exactly.

Unlike Wu-Tang.

25 years, 36 chambers.

What?

What?

Oh, have you thought about that?

John Wu and the Wu-Tang clan were popular around the same time.

Why have they not created like the perfect television?

Something together.

Yeah.

The John Wu-Tang clan.

Yes.

The perfect portmanteau.

Old Dirty Bastards.

Some doves.

Inspector Deck.

Break one.

Ghostface Killer.

And...

More doves.

Yes.

All right.

Well,

I want you to get in here.

I want you to ask as many questions as I ask.

But by the end of the show, I want there to be an equal number of questions.

We'll tally them up.

Someone take a tally, if you could.

Take a tally of every question asked, and I want there to be an equal number betwixt the two of us.

Is this real?

Or are you like being a Kentucky waitress who's like, hey, y'all, have so much sweet tea, but really, you're like, leave me alone.

I want to stay in the back and check my Sudoku puzzles.

I'm a little like the waitress.

I've got to admit.

So I will be 25%.

Okay, great.

Perfect.

All right.

Well, Well, let's get to our first guest.

I mean, you're our first guest, but I consider you to be a peer and a co-host.

So.

But not really, but you've said it.

But not really.

I want you at like 25%.

And I will accept it.

All right.

So let's get to our first or really second guest.

Yeah.

He is an advisor.

Oh, the aforementioned advisor.

And he's wearing a hoodie, and this is very exciting.

Please welcome to the show.

Oh, this is interesting.

Sprigg the Whisperer.

Hello, Scott.

Hello?

You said that so creepily.

Hello, Flula.

Hello, Mr.

Whisperer.

Let me correct you.

It's Sprague the Whisperer.

Sprague?

Yes.

How is that spelled?

S.

You can go faster.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Okay, let me get this S down.

All right.

And

got it.

P.

Okay,

well, I, okay.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I am almost locked in and got it.

Ah.

A, is that that A-H?

No, no.

S-B-R-R.

R.

Okay, go.

A.

A.

G.

G.

U.

U.

Speak.

Sprague.

Sprague.

Spraggle.

Sprague the Whisperer.

That's right.

And I thought you were wearing a hoodie, but that you're not.

What is this?

This is a cloak.

This is a cloak.

This is what a cloak is.

Yes.

And how do you spell that?

C.

K.

No, no, no, not K.

Sorry.

C.

C.

C.

L.

L.

Got it.

O.

A.

K.

K, of course.

Yes, that's how you spell cloak.

I'd always wondered.

I really hope this doesn't turn into spelling

because that would not be good to spray.

Try not to say any huge words.

That's true.

I may test you off.

That's true.

Well, I'm here just to advise, Scott.

Just to advise?

Yes, I'm an advisor.

What does that mean, an advisor throughout the years Scott I've whispered into the ears of very important men

okay and women or mainly mostly men got it well actually no that's not true half women half men half women so equal an equal amount of women and an equal amount absolutely

equal that's very wonderful of you it's true just to be clear you're not speaking about someone with both genitals no well i have an equal amount of those as well.

Okay, so wait.

So you can divvy up the number of people into whose ears you've whispered.

Yes.

One-third men, one-third women, one-third hermaphrodites.

One-thirds of the music.

Got it.

Anything.

Anything goes at this point.

Now, Scott, of course.

I am here to whisper.

Of course.

To you, Mr.

Ackerman.

Oh, my gosh.

Do you find me important?

Is that?

Well, of course, Scott, you host a podcast.

Oh, well, so does Flula here.

Oh, you host a podcast as well, Flula.

Yes, but only 25% as cool as

I know.

Well, I can work with that as well.

Okay, okay, but you are going to have to find two more women if you whisper into both of our ears.

Two more women and two more.

Well, I actually have the, I've already done the, I'm catching up here.

Oh, okay.

You've already got the women.

Who are the women?

Anne Hathaway.

Oh, wow.

Can you spell that for me?

Okay.

I think I can.

it.

I believe it's A-N-N-E I.

I think so.

I think so.

H-A-W-A-E.

I think there may be an errant W in there, sir.

Whatever, Scott.

I'm not a speller.

I'm an advisor, Scott.

Oh, okay.

And I have some

advice for you, Scott.

You have some advice for me.

Yes, because

you shouldn't be whispering because I'm Spring the Whiskberg.

Okay, so I should just be talking full volume.

Speaking Full volume.

Okay, but I worry that if I talk at this volume, you're going to be forced to come up to me to my.

Well, that's fine.

Okay.

So wait.

I thought this is your whole thing.

What is your whisper?

Well,

it's also whispering I do.

It's fun, but also I'm really just telling you what to do with your career.

Oh, I see.

It does not need to be literally less.

No, no, it doesn't.

So this is career-based.

Well, Scott, I have some career-based advice for you.

You do?

Okay, hit me with it.

Scott, have you heard of the franchise Three Ninjas?

Oh, three ninjas.

Yes, Scott.

I believe, is this not a children's

film?

There are three children who are, I believe, raised by Pat Barita

and taught karate.

And they had a really interesting

karate-based career.

It was not him.

Okay.

And quite honestly, it's racist that I thought it was.

Okay.

Oh, spray.

Someone else.

It's someone else.

But, Scott, I want you to get the rights to this film.

To get the rights to it.

Do you know who originally held the rights?

No, you might have to speak with your maybe New Line or something.

Maybe New Line.

I've been looking.

And then I want you to reboot it, Scott.

To reboot it?

Yes.

Why not continuation with the three kids now as adults of three adult ninjas?

Well, that was the pitch.

That's not a reboot.

That's just

not really a a reboot.

It's a late sequel.

Well, I guess you could reboot it with

the same actors if they're grown up.

I also thought, you know, they're grown up and then they also have kids of their own, Scott.

What?

Three.

There's six ninjas.

Six ninjas?

So, yes, Scott.

Wait, what am I doing in this?

You're writing the spec, of course.

I'm writing it on spec.

Yes, Scott.

Even if I buy the rights, I then have to write it on spec.

Spec, I have a question.

Of course.

What's in it for you, Mr.

Viscount?

Oh,

10%,

of course, Scott.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Are you just an agent?

No, Scott.

I'm a producing manager.

Oh, no.

Wait a minute.

What management company are you with?

Mosaic, Scott.

You're with Mosaic?

Yes.

Oh, man.

Wait.

I have to have you, Scott.

Hold on.

This is just a pitch for me to leave my own manager and go sign with you?

Well, Scott, I'm not just a manager.

I'm also a whisperer, Scott.

Yeah, okay.

And let me just say, Scott, I would advise you to sign with me because these days podcast hosts are dropping like flies.

Oh, my gosh, that's very ominous.

What do you mean?

I'm trying to think of any.

Well, you know, nerdist that...

I guess ended.

I mean, it's not.

Okay.

It's the whole network, you know, sort of went on.

It's very dicey territory right now.

A lot of the podcasts, you know, they went elsewhere, you know.

Okay, yeah, but what else?

Doughboys is doing pretty good.

Now you're just naming ones that are doing well?

Yes.

You know, I advise Doughboys to do a Patreon, Scott.

Oh, yes, of course.

They do very well for themselves, even though they hide the number.

They don't let anyone see the number, Scott, because it's getting too embarrassingly big.

And that was my whisper, Scott.

How dare you, Scott?

Now, of course, I know you're UTA fam, of course, right?

Of course, yes, I am at UTA.

I have a great relationship.

You can spell that, by the way.

Can you spell that?

Oh, yes, of course.

You.

You, okay.

T.

T,

great.

A.

A.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

F.

F.

A.

A.

Yotafa.

Uta.

Oh, fam.

Oh, it's my UTA fam.

M, M, yes, of course.

My UTA fam.

Yeah, Scott, I have a great relationship with UTA, you know.

Okay, but why?

I'm just saying, Scott.

All right, all right.

I have some more whispers for you, Scott.

Okay.

What about...

Have you heard of the franchise Surfinit Just?

I smell a theme a little bit.

Are you...

Can I ask you a question?

Are you interested in ninja-based movies or do you think?

They do very well in four quadrants scott they do well okay they do well with adults with kids kids um dogs dogs and miscellaneous miscellaneous wait how many dogs do you whisper to oh i whisper to many dogs i whisper to the dog from uh marlo and me or whatever block or the dog oh yeah marlo and me that's the alternate title to evident user screws yes of course scott i thought that was the wire reboot but yes

marlo those those those they have to fall they don't you know they play by they don't play by the rules this game is rigged what are you talking about

that's stuff they say the wire scott

no no of course Scott the surf ninjas so you like the wire and you like ninja based yes I watch the wire I really pitch mostly ninja based content okay so Scott yeah surf ninjas great movie Rob Schneider I don't recall okay so Rob Schneider was one of the ninjas he was one of the ninjas Yes.

Remember when he was a movie star?

Yes, yes.

Crazy.

It was insane.

I mean, you look at, like, okay, Trump's president.

That's crazy enough.

That's crazy.

There was like a 10-year period that Rob Schneider was starring in movies.

He did a Gigolo movie.

He was the freaking star of that.

He was in Judge Dredd, I think.

He did one where he played like a white woman, remember?

It's crazy.

It's just crazy.

I would not have whispered that, Scott.

So you don't represent Rob Schneider.

Oh, no.

Can you see the mistakes his career?

I would have never seen that.

Scott.

So, but you,

who else was in the surf ninjas?

Well, surfing ninjas?

Surf ninjas.

We have

Eddie Reyes Jr.

I don't recall him, the father of Eddie Reyes.

Oh, got it, got it.

Yes, of course.

Now, Scott, if you haven't seen this movie, why am I pitching it to you?

You know, I know my clients, you know.

What are you asking me?

If I haven't seen it, why are you doing it?

I have that question myself.

Of course.

I could, of course, pivot, Scott.

I could pivot to something else, Scott.

What other ninja?

There was a Chris Farley ninja movie.

Oh, yes, Beverly Hill did just pivot.

Okay.

Would you like to reboot that, Scott?

I can take you to a pod.

I know a few guys over at Funny and Die.

Did you just switch accents?

Scott.

Yeah, Sprite.

Where are you from?

I was just not curious.

I am from a place

long, long ago.

Sorry, I was like, I'm not asking time.

What time are you from?

We're like, literally, location.

I am from Tampa, Florida.

Okay.

Tampa, Florida.

And how long ago?

Where did you live there?

10 years ago.

Okay.

So you moved out here, you became a manager.

I'm not just a manager, Scott.

You're a producing manager.

Also, a producing manager, also a whisperer.

And you own the rights, let me guess,

child ninjas.

Surf ninjas, three ninjas, Beverly Hills Ninja, American Ninja.

American Ninjas?

American Ninja Warrior?

Is that what that is?

That's a TV show.

So you don't own the rights to that.

No, Scott, but I could get you a meeting maybe with them if you'd like.

Is that something you want?

To be a contestant?

No, Scott.

I can help you in any way, Scott.

Come on over.

I don't think I have a good manager.

Flula, are you looking for a manager right now?

I think I'm solid, but I do very much love you.

Sprague, I have a question for you, actually.

Of course.

Sprague, was there ever a time in your life where you miswhispered?

Yes.

You mispered?

I mispered Scott.

No, that's fluid.

I know.

My name is just so much.

In whatever accent you're doing, it's cool.

It's easier to say.

It does sound cool to say, Scott.

It's almost as if it's my favorite thing to say.

So you mispered to him.

I've, of course, mispered to Kevin James.

Oh,

Wade, in the whatever show that is that he had.

Yes, Kevin Kevin Can Wait.

Kevin Can Wade.

Big mistake.

Now, the title's not bad.

Not bad, but I was the one that advised him to kill off his wife.

No, not Aaron Hayes, friend of the show.

She's a friend of the show, friend of, you know, me and J.

I love Erin.

Would love to work with her.

Right, but you whispered, hey?

I whispered, hey, write her off the show.

Bring back the old hits.

And of course, there was a backlash.

Not only write her off, but kill her off.

Kill her off and then make an off-color joke about it in the most gruesome way possible yes they were i pitched that they cut her head off like the end of season one of game of thrones was the isis videos well no that's where you went jesus christ that was dark scar god at least the game of throats thing had some clash at least that was fictional it was fictional shot with some integrity jesus wait so you're

you're upset at how they were shot in the dp of the isis videos so well lit and just no cuts at all.

No thank you.

Well, one cut, but yes.

Oh, well, Flula, well, that's not, you know.

Flula, that was pretty funny.

Thank you, Sprague.

That was actually fun.

Maybe you could pivot over to him.

Yes, that was actually

incredible.

Flula, who...

Are you represented right now?

Yes.

You are.

Yes.

Yes, my parents.

I'm a child.

I'm a child.

They're my manager.

You were a child actor, Flula?

I I didn't know.

What were you in when you were a child?

I was

a DJ show.

It's like Play That One More Time is what it was called.

Oh, where you had to play songs twice?

Yeah, Spimmeles Nommal is what it was called.

And if you didn't play it twice, then you were fired.

Yeah.

So I always played it two times.

They called me two time Lula.

So you were pretty good on the show.

I did.

I hit repeat and we did it.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

Was that an automated thing that you could just like say repeat track?

Well, I can say it now because the show is off the air.

So yes, I just copy-paste twice and hit play once.

Ra!

Smart!

Smart!

Those other fools, they're sitting there after the song ends, just going, like, what do I do?

What do I do?

Yeah, meanwhile, I'm urinating.

Yeah.

Very clever.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What if we rebooted this?

We could do it.

It was a very local third channel in Germany as a Bayanfanzi.

So the rights

are open.

And what have you put on this ninja costume?

Wait, wait, you have a ninja costume with you?

Of course.

Put on this ninja costume.

This is any size.

Just yes, it's any size.

You pull the thing, there you go.

It's fluorescent yellow.

I like this.

This is perfect for a rave?

Ninja.

Yes, of course.

We will reboot this show as a ninja show.

Okay.

Why are you laughing maniacally?

What?

You're laughing maniacally.

He hasn't agreed to it.

He hasn't even put on the costume.

Wait, oh, wait, you just put on the costume.

I didn't touch.

I just touched it.

It's like Venom.

I just touched it and now I'm wearing it.

Yes.

What kind of costume is this?

It's a magic costume.

Magic?

Yes, I got it from this costume shop.

Magic with a Q at the.

Oh, okay.

Oh, my.

There is

Studio City.

Okay, how do you spell that?

A and M.

Got it.

A.

A.

G.

Oh, it's a G.

Yes, I.

I.

And then the Q.

Here's where the Q comes in.

The Q comes in at the end.

Oh, so no UE.

It's just meant to be.

Oh, got it.

Q.

Magic.

Oh.

Magique.

Okay.

Of course.

Now, look, by the end of this show, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.

I'll sign the both of you.

I'll package you and put you.

I'll get maybe get you a universal writing deal.

With the studio universal or just like...

Yes, with the studio.

Or with the universe.

No, with the studio, no.

Okay.

I don't mean magical.

You know,

get you in there, get you on the lot, you know.

I mean,

I like the lot.

One of those bungalows?

Yeah, maybe a bungalow.

There's some mid-season shows.

Maybe pick you up on one of those.

I don't know that I want to do it.

You don't want to do this, Scott?

Go.

Go staff up on a mid-season show.

I have other stuff going on.

You could be a consulting producer, Scott.

I mean, I know it's good money.

Look at this suit.

Don't you want one of these sweats?

Would I have to dress like a ninja when I do this?

It's be part of the contract, Scott.

What does Universal want with me dressing like a ninja?

They need one ninja writing team.

Wait, we have to do it as a team?

Oh, that's just a scam where they pay for two people.

You want to split the check, but you'd only work three days a week, Scott.

Oh.

If we could get it down to two.

And do we work the same days or?

No, you can split whichever days, you know, if you have some work.

This is how they do it.

They get us in there for four days a week.

You know, and then you can work on your own pilot, you know, whatever.

Yeah, but it's then you never get your own thing going because you're too busy working on someone else's show.

Let's set up a meeting with you, UTA fam.

We'll have a set of

money.

I'll bring my parents.

It would be great.

Yeah.

Wait, they could co-manage you, the parents?

I think we can set something up, Scott.

We co-manage.

I whisper they manage.

Right, and how much are you getting?

How much are they getting?

I'm going to probably still take 10%.

Oh,

okay.

So whatever they do, I don't care, but we have to settle up on my end.

I'm suddenly very agreeable now that I'm wearing this suit.

Let's put on the suit.

I don't want to put on.

You don't have another suit, do you?

Oh my God.

You have another suit.

I don't want to put on a suit.

Pink, yes, Scarf.

Pink, yeah.

Put on the ninja suit.

I don't think I want.

Oh, my God.

I just touched it.

Now it's on me.

That's right, Scott.

Oh, my God.

That's right.

It's skin tight.

Oh, that is super tight.

That is showing everything.

That's exactly what we need in the writer's room.

Wait.

Well, hold on.

In this climate, it's true.

We can't do this kind of thing.

We need ninja representation in the writer's room, Scott.

Okay.

All right.

I don't know.

I guess we could do this for.

Let's do this.

If we hug, we'll form some kind of Sherbert.

All right.

All right.

Let's hug and then see what happens.

Perfect.

Oh, my God.

Now you're definitely splitting a check because.

I think we're splitting organs, too.

Somehow, our bodies have combined.

I think we need to.

Wait, is this how you get the miscellaneous clients?

Yes, Scott.

all right.

So dirty, so dirty.

We need to take a break.

I

need to try to get this ninja suit off me.

Yes, I need to talk to my assistant, but yes, go ahead.

Okay, roll some calls while we're on break.

All right, look, we're gonna take a break.

We'll be right back with uh more flula, more sprague the whisperer, and we'll have a girlfriend after this.

That's very exciting.

We'll be right back with more comedy, bang, bang.

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That's confusing right off the bat.

And then they're totally different

letters, although the A's, there still are two A's, but the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair, and the W and the

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I mean, this is pretty similar, actually.

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I mean, you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right?

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Kulop ordered a bunch of holiday stuff.

She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween,

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Comedy Bang Bang, we are back.

Flula is here with us.

Where can people find?

You have a YouTube?

Is that right?

Just a channel or something?

You can just Google my name, like you have a flu in Los Angeles, F-L-U-L-A, and things will appear.

Instagram, the podcast.

If you put a space in between it, will like flu shots opportunities come up for you?

Then health options on

that.

You could also get in on those, maybe.

I have tried reserving the domain name flu.la.

It is $15,000.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Nope.

Although our other guest here could work out a deal for that, maybe spray the way.

Yes, set that up.

Yes.

2.30.

He's taking off the cloak, by the way.

Now he's just a guy.

Okay.

He's just a guy in a suit.

He's trying to

talk to their manager, and then we'll have the meeting.

Okay, anyway, he's rolling calls.

Sorry, Sprague.

That's okay.

Sorry, we'll be back.

He has been rolling.

Sorry, I'm the Louis Board.

You don't have to put the cloak back on.

No, it's not.

I don't think it's having the intended effect.

I've got a lunch at 2.30.

Okay, we'll get you out by then.

Don't worry.

We need to get to our next guest.

She is a girlfriend.

I don't have any other information other than that, but let's try to divine some information from her.

Please.

Please welcome to the show, Kayla Dickey.

Hi.

Hi, Kayla.

Yeah, hi.

Hello.

Hi.

My name's Kayla Dickey.

Oh, yes, it is.

Hi, this is Flula.

Hello, Kayla.

This is Sprague.

Hi.

Hello.

What's your last name, Sprague?

The Whisperer.

No,

what's your last name and from Florida?

Oh,

Jensen.

Jensen.

Sprague Jensen?

Sprague Jensen.

Okay.

Yes, but people, you know, I subject Sprigg to whisper.

But you do.

Yes.

It's fine.

Keep going.

All right.

We can keep going?

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Kayla, it's so nice to meet you.

I'm Scott.

Yeah, nice to meet you.

I'm just here because my boyfriend, he just bought a big truck.

Oh.

Oh, cool.

Wow.

That's great.

So we're pretty pumped about the truck.

Oh, okay, cool.

You're on the show in order to talk about the truck or talk about your boyfriend?

We're pretty pumped about the truck, and we're just letting everybody know about the truck.

Oh, okay.

What kind of truck?

What color is it?

You want to know what color?

Let's figure out make, model, and color.

Yeah, it's red

and it's

a Ford Rockhard 250.

Okay.

Ford Rockhard.

Rockhard 250.

Incredible.

So it's really exciting.

And we've, you know, we got the whole neighborhood to come over and check out the truck.

And people are, we're getting a really great response because it's just so big.

It's super

big.

Okay.

It's a big truck.

It's a

bigger than a normal truck.

Yeah, it's one of the biggest trucks.

It's one of the biggest trucks on the market.

Yeah, hands down.

The biggest truck.

And it's so big.

And, you know, we've been decorating it inside.

So

we've got a lot of his like flat brims kind of off.

Flat brims?

Is that what you said?

Yeah, his flat brim hat.

Flat brim hats?

Yeah, so we've got his flat brims kind of just like taped up and like stapled up around like the interior.

Around like the interior of the oh, okay, that's cool.

And then we've we've got a little shelf with all of his DVDs.

So like he likes to display his DVDs.

Sounds huge.

Can you play DVDs in this truck?

Yeah, there's a couple DVDs.

There's a couple of TVs.

It's just so big, you guys.

It's so big.

And

it makes him feel so big.

So it's exciting.

It's very exciting for you.

So you're here to promote the truck.

The truck.

Well, yeah, and we're pumped about it.

We're pumped about the big truck.

Sprague has a question.

Where is your boyfriend right now?

My boyfriend's in in the truck.

He's waiting for me.

He's got the truck running outside.

Is he parked out?

Oh, he's

running.

It's running.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, yeah, during the entirety of the show.

Yeah.

As far as I know, these types of trucks are gas guzzlers.

Yes.

Yeah, we fill it multiple times a day.

A day.

Wow.

Yeah.

And it's just, for me, it's like, it's such a big truck, and he's got such a small dick.

And it's just like so, it's exciting.

Hold on, what now?

What did you second thing you said?

Yeah, out of the three things you said.

It's just heaven, you guys.

It's heaven.

No, no, no.

I think the other thing.

I think maybe we're mixing up the order.

The second thing you said, the

you said it's a big truck, and then you said something, and then you said it's very exciting.

You said a big truck.

Right.

Small deck.

And it's just.

That's the one.

That's the one that was tripping me up.

Yeah.

He has a small.

You know, for me, I'm already seeing this confidence level change.

And he's just a new guy.

It's just, it's amazing.

Yeah, it's so exciting.

So

he has a smaller than average penis or

yeah, it's a small deck.

It's small.

Can we talk about how small are we?

I don't know.

Yes, what's small when it comes to penises?

I don't know, like a dice.

Like a Monopoly die?

Like for Yahtzee?

Like two dice on top of each other, just the one single die?

Just a single die.

Yeah, you said six squares.

That's really fucked up.

It's just like a dice.

Wow.

Like just a word.

He's rolling snake eyes.

Have you ever played Balder Dash?

Yes, with the words.

I'm not remembering Balder Dash.

How do you play Baldur Dash?

It's a wonderful game.

Yeah.

Maybe you could tell us the rules.

Oh, it's a like you have a word.

It's like flangedunk, and everyone must say, what is the definition of flanger dunk?

Okay.

And then you invent it.

You invent it.

Okay, this sounds fun.

Yeah, so I don't think that they have dice with that game, but if they did, it would be the size of his dick.

Oh, I got it.

Got it.

So two on top of each other, probably.

Is that what we're doing?

No, no, no.

Just the single one.

Just one day.

Just one cube.

So we're just pumped about the truck, and I just want to make sure you guys understand just how big it is.

And

kind of like when we were driving over, you know, a lot of people were honking and he was speeding, which makes me feel safe and taken care of.

Okay, okay.

So this truck is almost womb-like in a way.

And we were playing on the way over, we had Orange County, the movie playing.

Oh, great.

We got some alcohol

going.

how much of out cold did you get going

most of yeah most of most of it most on the way over you do you guys live far away because you've mentioned too many live in colorado colorado okay so you took the truck all the way out here yeah we made the trip great so

what is out cold what is this it's a

really good movie about a ski town yeah i believe Zach Alfanakis is in it in a hot tub or something.

Yeah.

It's really good.

And he's just got like Boondock Saints.

He's got Boondock Saints in there as well.

He's got Boondock Saints.

He's got...

I was a consulting producer on Boondock Saints.

You were.

Sprague Jensen.

That's true.

Very true.

Check my IMDB.

So it's in the shape of a cube?

His dick?

Yeah.

Or it just is that length?

It looks like.

Is it?

It's ice.

That's what I say.

It just looks exactly like it.

Is it as wide as it is tall?

I'm not here to talk about the deck oh you're not i'm sorry i'm so sorry i don't know why we're getting hung up on that well let's talk about the truck that was the right description i guess right okay let's talk about the truck so it's uh any other features in the in the truck or well the wheels are so big like i come up to like half of a wheel you come up to half yeah you are but you're a little uh on the petite side uh i'm i'm four foot you're four foot yeah i was i didn't want to say so these are like eight foot wheels so the wheels are eight foot so that's those are really big

So then if you think about it,

is this in competitions or does this crush other cars?

He's a baker.

He works at Bakedon Montrose.

Baked in Montrose.

Yeah, so he bakes just like different kinds of stuff.

And then does he have to do any kind of novelty cakes, any kind of sex cakes where he has like

penises on it or.

Why are you guys so obsessed with dicks?

Like we're here to talk about, I'm here to talk about the truck.

I'm just, if he's surrounded by giant penises at work, that would also tend to lend no he's got his boys there and there's definitely like you know like that chef culture you know that sure I've heard about Matario Mario Mario Batali I was gonna say Matario but

people like this Bitali.

What did you just say Sprick?

Bitali.

Bitali.

Yes.

So the chef culture is

very masculine.

Yeah.

For him it was kind of emasculating because he he had a big truck before.

He did.

What truck was this that he had before?

He had the Ford

Rockhard 150.

150, okay.

And now he has the 250.

So before, everyone was kind of giving him a hard time about it.

It wasn't big enough.

Yeah.

And a lot of the girls where I work were like, what's the deal with you guys?

And I was like, I don't know.

Like, I don't know how long.

this is going to last.

Oh.

And then he got the big truck and we were like, okay, like he got the big truck.

And I'm like, well, now I know it's going to last.

Okay, okay.

So, since it is shaped like a cube, are there dimples on the, like a dice?

Like, are there numbers?

Like, is there two dots on one?

Like, I guess there would be the tip of it, would have the one dot, yeah, probably.

Yeah.

And then, is there five and six?

And

I guess, well, the six would be on the opposite end, so we would never see that.

It's smooth.

It's not smooth, if that's what the question is.

It's, yeah, some skin can

get clock marks.

I mean, I want to say it does a job, but which job does it do?

It does the job.

Which job is it?

You want to say it, it but it doesn't yeah it's you know you know like for our relationship it does a job and that's i guess what's important right now but the the more important thing is the truck right yes you've had you've had uh relationship problems until now yeah what were the primary problems within your relationship so he's just always at the bakery or in the and in the truck and um for me

it's like where is this going because i you know i work i work at the bridal yeah where do you work you work at the bridal shop you i work at david's bridal the one on by the big lots, not the one on the other side.

We're not from Colorado.

We don't really know.

These are specific references that we don't know, but the one on

multiple times.

Of course.

So then you know, the one on the main street.

Yes, the by the big lots.

Yes, of course.

Okay, thanks, Frank.

That's cool.

All right, well, that's yeah, that's really lucky for you.

I wanted to chime in.

Yeah.

So you know that one's the bad one.

Yes, of course.

So I work at the bad one.

Oh, you work at the bad one.

What constitutes the bad one?

It's a bad part of town or the not as good as the other one?

It's not as good.

We don't find anyone to dress.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

You're unsuccessful.

Yeah.

Yeah, but the girls there, I love the girls.

Your coworkers or the customers?

The coworkers.

My girls.

So my girls are always talking about, you know, when are you guys going to get married, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, how long have you been dating?

What's this gentleman's name, by the way?

Cart.

Cart.

How do you spell that?

I'm asking Sprague.

Yeah.

C.

Yes.

A.

I'm guessing R?

F-N-T.

Is that

right on the money?

Congratulations, Sprague.

The shopping cart.

Oh, nice.

Good keyword.

So cart is this gentleman's name.

And how long have you been together?

Seven and a half years.

Seven and a half.

Wow.

So really, I mean, if you add up all of your sexual experiences, that's like, you know, having sex with one, you know, big dicked guy.

That's true.

Yeah, eventually, yeah.

Wow.

Eventually, you got there.

Okay.

Can I ask?

Is there a 350?

Oh, for

the 150, there's the 250.

Does it go to the 350?

Because you asked where is this going, and I thought it's probably going to the 350.

So, yeah, that it's rumored that that's going to come out in the spring, but we haven't heard.

That's true.

It's a rough schedule for cars as well.

Also, it's rumored on the message boards, probably.

So it's rumored, just saying, like on Facebook and stuff.

Okay, do you think he's going to pop the question?

Yeah.

Sure, sure.

I did want to know.

You know, for me, like everywhere that we go with the big truck,

I'm like, this could be it.

This could be it.

Because he'll park the truck and we'll just kind of set up shop.

So we'll drive up.

You guys know like the Jed Weeby Trail.

Maybe Sprague does.

I've heard of it, but I've never been there.

Jed Lieby.

Okay, yeah.

Jed Weeby.

Jed Weeby.

Who's Jed Weeby?

Of course.

Jed Weeby is, he was the mayor of Montrose before the big fire.

Oh, and then what happened?

The big fire happened and they tossed him out and made a trial?

Well, he started the fire.

He started the fire.

Oh, I didn't know.

Oh.

Oh, so the opposite ability.

He left a curling iron on and he started the fires.

He left a curling.

What was he curling?

His hairs.

Oh.

The ones on top?

And below.

And below.

All of it.

He was just curling.

Anything goes with him.

So he started the fire, and then they were like, you've got to get out of town.

And he's like, I'm not leaving.

Okay.

And then

I'm trying to get to the trail.

So how did he name a trailer?

He ran up the trail and everyone couldn't find it.

Everyone was like, he's rumored to be up there.

Where did they rumor this?

On the message boards as well?

On Facebook.

And so they were like, he's up there.

So every time we go up, we're like, where is he?

Where is he?

And we still haven't.

Okay, no one's ever found this guy.

So we got.

So some sort of a hermit who may be living in a cave on this, in this trail somewhere, curling his hair.

He's just, he never came back.

He never came back.

He went up there and no one's ever heard a sound or a beep.

When was this?

Seven and a half years ago.

Seven and a half.

So that was right when me and Cart got together.

Hold on.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Is this gentleman that you're talking about, did you have any sort of relationship with him?

Jed Weeby?

The Jed Weeby?

Jed Weebeebe.

Okay, so I was Judd Weeby's like assistant

at the courthouse.

Oh, God.

At the courthouse.

He's the mayor.

He was the mayor.

He was the mayor, right?

And you were his assistant just at the courthouse?

Just at the courthouse.

So he had different assistants for different locations.

Yeah, so that sounds like a good idea.

You could use one of them.

You could use an assistant right now.

So some of my other girls.

You're eyeing your phone right now.

Yes.

I've got emails.

Let's just keep going.

All right, Spring.

So hold on, hold on.

So some of my other girls were some of his other assistants.

So my girl, Cassie, my girl.

Megan, my girl, Tosh.

Sure.

Well, the court stipulates that there were plenty of girls with different names.

So my girls that all work at David's Reidall now, my girls and I were all different assistants for Judd Weeby.

What an amazing coincidence.

Wow.

So anyway, Judd flees the scene and I'm like, fuck.

Okay,

were you there at his

abode while he was curling or where was he curling these?

I don't know the situation.

Yeah, the hairs.

He was, well, he was at home.

He was at home.

He burned down his home.

That's Tosh's territory, so this is not on Tosh.

You're not allowed there.

It's on Tosh.

Yeah.

But apparently, he also left a curling iron at the courthouse.

Oh, no.

I didn't even know this.

Oh, he had multiple curling irons going at the same time.

So I didn't know that.

And I was at work and all of a sudden, there's a fire.

Like not only so this is a multiple fire situation that he started.

Yeah.

Oh no.

So he ran up the trail.

And so me and Cart nowadays, we just kind of drive up there and we're like, Judd, Judd.

So how then did you go from Jed Webibi?

Is that

Jed Weeby?

Jed Weeby.

How did you go from working for Jed Weeby to suddenly dating Cart?

So I obviously was like a mess.

Obviously.

Yeah, obviously.

And I was kind of just like out on the street.

You're You're out of a job at this point.

Yeah, I mean, I have a home and stuff, but I was walking the street.

Okay.

Why?

What?

Sometimes you just have to walk on the street.

I mean, I guess I've watched.

Do you mean you were like doing errands?

Yeah, that's a strange way to describe this.

Yeah, okay.

I was just, I needed some time, you know, to process the fires.

Okay.

So, yeah, you were taking a walk.

So I was walking the street.

Okay.

I was walking the street.

And then he pulls up, and I hear this like, vroom, vroom, and I turn.

this is cart this is not jed wee bib no jed weebe had fled he had fled in this situation you don't was this by foot or did he have a truck as well um he has a big truck yeah he has a big truck well it's not as big as um cart's well the 250 hadn't come out yet yeah so he had just the 50 because this was a few years ago okay so anyway um i hear vroom vroom and i turn and it's cart and he's was that the car noise or was that him saying vrooms he was saying vroom vroom he was and i said i turn and he's like, hey, do you want to watch the Big Lebowski?

Oh.

And you thought he was asking you out to a movie theater, perhaps?

Yeah, well, I would have thought that, but it was already starting on the big screen.

Oh, it was.

How much had you missed?

A good chunk, a good, like three-fourths.

Right, were you able to kind of figure it out?

Yeah, I got in at the part where.

I mean, the dude is pretty, I mean, it's like a character study, so it's not really about the plot.

You get it pretty quick.

Exactly, yeah.

Great character.

Sprague, did you have anything to do with that film?

No, I really wish I did.

You know, at the time I was trying to work on Steve Buscevi, but he ended up going elsewhere.

He had no need for ninja-based career.

He didn't want to do any more ninja stuff.

So there's Cart.

You're distraught.

You're a mess.

He asks you to watch the Big Lebowski in his truck, a 50 at the time.

No, he had a 100.

He had a 100.

I guess these are going up in 50.

They go up in 50.

They go up in 50s.

So they're going to the 350.

They're skipping the 300 rumored.

So this one came out in June of this is seven years ago.

So it's 20 all advanced.

So they took a big long break

in between the 150 and the 250.

And this is

production.

She just got the 250 and now they're already up to the 350 in the spring?

Yeah, so they moved the production issues much like Tesla or?

Yeah, exactly.

Okay.

So it was rumored that there was issues just kind of like with the CEO.

Okay, got it.

So you think Fart's going to propose to you all the time?

I think that's where we are.

Yeah, that's where we are.

Why, yeah, okay.

So cut two now, seven and a half years later.

You got into his truck and into his dreams.

And

seven and a half years later.

Yes.

How long did it take for that to happen?

To sleep with him?

Yes.

Pretty quick.

I don't really take that stuff very seriously.

You're free with your body?

Yeah, I'm free in anything that gets me in a big truck.

I'm all about.

So

we had,

yeah, we, we've this was the biggest truck they had on the market at the time.

Exactly, yeah.

So we we've, every time we drive up the Judd Weeby Trail and we yell for Judd, I'm like, this could be it, this could be it.

You've been doing this for seven and a half years at this point.

So that's what sort of we do during our lunch breaks and stuff like that.

So I'll get off from David's Bridle.

He'll get off from Baked and Montrose.

You have the same lunch break?

Same hour.

Yeah, around that time.

Okay.

So a little overlapping?

A little overlapping.

Like a half hour overlapping, maybe?

It's like a two-hour gap.

You guys have a two-hour lunch break?

Where you scream for Jed Weepy?

Yeah.

Well, so Judd, one time we did hear Judd, though, I'm pretty sure.

Really?

We heard kind of like, hey, I'm over here.

And I look and.

Was it Sprague?

I couldn't.

Okay, it's a whisperer.

It's a whisper.

Yeah, I've only ever heard.

I've only ever heard of it.

Yeah, you've never been on it.

I've never been on it.

it.

So what did you do, though?

This is...

So I turn and

I look and

I just see trees and then I see a bear.

You saw a bear?

Yeah.

So it's a bear whispered.

Well, we don't know.

Or it could have been, I guess, Jed Weeby in a bear costume.

That's what I think.

I see.

Maybe bears have developed the power of speech.

I have a much more logical explanation.

Okay, Spring.

I believe Jeb Weeby to be a ninja scarf.

No, he's not a ninja.

He whispered, and then you turned and he flipped out of the way.

No, I don't think so.

This is a great story.

I'd like to buy the rights.

So this is sort of like a combination of like the Edge

meets Beverly Hills Ninja.

Beverly Hills Ninja, but just not funny, you know, mostly dramatic.

Right.

And he comes back to get his assistant from this guy cart with a bigger truck.

Yeah, can I ask, to what end are you doing this?

Why are are you still trying to find Jeb?

Judd.

Jed.

Jed?

Jed Weeby?

Jed.

Judd.

Judd.

Is it J-U?

How do you spell it?

Sprague.

Sorry, I'm ready.

All right.

I believe it's J.

J.

U.

U.

D.

D.

Okay, I think that's odd.

That's it?

So just one D.

Jud.

It's like Chudd, but Judd.

Okay.

That's a great.

Now, are you interested in the Chud films?

Oh, yes, very much so.

Kayla, I have a deep question.

What is the connection between Cart and Jed?

Yeah, why does Cart want to find Judd, and why are you still trying to find Judd?

That's sort of why, to what end, what are you guys doing this?

Judd was a mentor.

Judd was a leader.

Judd was

to whom?

To you?

To Cart?

Yeah, to both of us.

And we also both fucked Judd.

Wait, Cart had sex with Judd?

Yep.

Okay, so

he's

pansexual.

Judd will will do anything for a guy with a big truck, and that's the same with me.

So it's these

once you see.

Did you say that Judd had a big truck, too?

Yeah.

Oh.

So it's what he's doing.

Have you guys ever seen a guy in a big truck?

Is there anything hotter than a guy in a big truck?

I'll be honest.

The way you've described Cart, he sounds kind of like a fucking Jagoff.

Hey, Sprague.

Sprague.

I'm not going to lie.

I said I'm a great truck.

I'm a guy in the friggin' hat thing, and his name's Cart.

I just he sounds fine, but I don't know.

I mean maybe

Spring, maybe it's good for Colorado, you know?

It's not like LA where all the good-looking people with big dicks move out here.

True, I think you can do better though.

I just think, you know, to me, like, if he's going to wants to just drive around in the big truck and like show it off for the town and kind of like freak people out on the roads by going really quickly, like, I'm all about that and I'm on board for that.

And if that's what our future is, like.

How loud does he play music and movies from the car?

Super loud.

Yes, I knew it would be that.

Maybe, you know, I'll tell you what, we need to take a break.

But Sprague, maybe you could whisper some advice for a new man

for Kayla here.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

So we're going to take a break.

I know you also have to catch up on emails.

Yes.

Well, we'll be right back with more flula, more Sprague the Whisperer, more Kayla Dickey.

We'll be right back after this.

I've never felt like this before.

It's like you just get me.

I feel like my true self with you.

Does that sound crazy?

And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous.

Okay, that's it.

I'm taking you home with me.

I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere.

Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas, and more at your DSW store or dsw.com.

Comedy bang bang, we're back here.

We have Flula here, who's

going to go.

Do you mean you have to go from here?

No, it was a phone call.

Oh, okay.

Swag the whisperer.

Spielberg's assistant.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, he's with his assistant at Mosaic right now.

We also have Kayla Dickey, who's a girlfriend.

I wish you wouldn't identify yourself as just a girlfriend.

I mean, you have so much going on.

You work at a bridal,

not a good one, but...

Me and my girls, we just, we're all about supporting our big guys out there.

Yeah.

And their big guys.

They all have...

have, and how, why did you all work at the same,

come over and work at the same place?

So Judd's wife,

Merg,

Merg Weeby, Merg Weeby, okay.

Merg Weeby owns.

She owns the bridal shop.

She owns David Bridal.

Okay, so why?

Judd and Merg,

they

have two, he's the mayor.

She owns this bridal shop.

He hires,

how many of your your girls are there?

There's five, six.

There's ten girls.

Ten girls.

He hires ten assistants.

Has he fucked all of them?

Because he fucked you at COT.

That's already.

Yeah.

So me and my girls, we just kind of keep that stuff to ourselves.

We don't need to know.

There's no competition.

It's not about

competing for you.

It's about supporting your girls.

Yeah.

But yes?

I think so, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

So Judd is running some sort of mayoral sex cult.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

And he burns, he has multiple curling irons going in multiple locations, burns down the half the town.

Yeah, it was so tragic and

flees the scene and puts on a bear costume and is hiding out in the cave.

Maybe a ninja costume.

Very well.

Pissed, by the way, Merga is so pissed because he left her with like all this anger from the towns.

Yeah, she's taking it on, I would imagine.

So does anyone go to her two bridal shops?

No, so that's why ours is kind of failing and everyone's going to the one on Main Street.

Oh, wait, but she owns the, so is it a franchise?

She owns David's Bridle.

I see.

Okay, so she owns the freaking huge company.

She only owns one of them, though, it seems.

Yeah, the bad one.

Yeah.

Okay, so, and is she out there looking for Judd?

No, so she doesn't want to find him.

Right.

And so we're like, the girls and I, we have to keep to ourselves that we're out there.

So all 10 of you are out there trying to find.

Yeah, that's why we go in shifts.

Like we go, you know, I take my two-hour lunch break and we go up.

Each of us take the Judd Weeby trail and like, I'll come back and I'll be like, we still didn't find him.

Like, I called him.

I thought I heard his name what happens when if you guys find Jet Weeby what happens what is the next step

so I don't really know but I think that I think that Jed would want us all to pile into his big truck and just go he's you think he still has his big truck his 50 where is the yeah I mean I think at this point like I don't know if he's bought a new one I don't know because he was like very like he's one of the people that I got most of the rumors about the trucks from so here's your pipeline for these rumors yeah so I I think that he probably has the 350 like we were talking about earlier.

I think he probably has the 350 already.

He may already have that.

Okay, maybe you should start instead of searching the trail, you should start staking out the Ford dealership.

This seems smart.

Kayla, I want to give you some advice.

Oh, here we go, Sprague.

Sprague the Whisperer has got some patented advice.

Kayla, this sounds like a dead end to me.

Here's what you should do: move to Los Angeles, where all the big dick people move, Scott said earlier.

Don't say that I said it.

If you're going to say it, you should cosign it.

I definitely cosign.

But I want you to move to LA.

And I've got this guy.

You can get some headshots.

You have a photographer you work with?

Yes, he's great.

I got a headshot guy.

And then maybe, you know, you come in, we talk pictures, you maybe work on a web series.

Well, cool.

I mean, you're

like a podcast or something.

You're a little petite for an actress.

You're four feet tall.

Actors are small.

Actors are small.

I mean, you can drew that.

You could probably be in a Tom Cruise movie and it would look.

Tower over him.

Trust me, listen.

Is your photographer able to adjust for height?

He puts a little coin down.

Just a little nickel next to your toes.

Very small.

Yes, and then that way you look huge.

Okay.

And this is my, of course, get headshots.

And then, of course, I want you to start.

You know, I have some acting class, you know go to UCB maybe take some classes there.

Martial arts perhaps.

Sure.

Wow.

We could maybe do some CrossFit martial arts training.

Yes.

I've only done a few photos.

Me and the girls did a calendar for David's bridal with just posing with a bunch of big trucks.

Oh, okay.

Were you in bridal dresses or?

No, we're naked.

So you're naked.

Sorry, what?

You're naked.

We're naked.

Next to big trucks.

This is for David's bridal?

Is this approved by the corporation?

Wedding dresses in the background or something?

Just hanging from the trucks.

Yeah, Merg put it together.

So actually, all the ground is covered in the wedding dress.

How would you feel buying your own big truck?

Why be reliant on carts here?

On a man here.

Well, I just,

I walk the streets and that.

Sorry.

You're still walking the streets?

You go for walks, right?

What do you mean when you say this?

Just to be clear, like shopping?

Like daily?

I just walk.

There's no point in having,

look,

if you're gonna be with a man, he needs to have a big truck.

Okay.

So if I'm gonna walk,

if I'm gonna walk the streets, it's because I'm hoping that I'm gonna see that thing.

You're hoping someone with Vroom Vroom will roll up.

Have you ever been single?

Yeah, I was single

in that time when Jed fled.

How long was that, by the way?

It was like three or four hours.

Three or four hours you were single.

That feels right.

Out there walking the streets looking for a man suddenly vroom vroom and before that not one second you've been single you've jumped from truck to truck well all my friends like all my girls we've all met our significant others by them yelling at us on the street okay so if while you're walking the street yeah while we're walking what usually works what uh for the our our uh uh listeners out there who are hoping to pick up women on the street by yelling at them from a big truck what what type of conversation usually works like damn, girl, you look so sexy.

You're asking for it.

I'm asking for it already.

What is he referring to?

That sounds highly inappropriate.

Look how big I am.

Look how big on heart I am in my big truck.

Okay.

Yeah.

And then, damn, uh-oh, I'm coming for you.

Uh-oh, I'm coming for you.

This sounds insane.

Colorado is a different place, though.

Colorado is a bad place.

It's not like LA.

I'm from freaking Tampa.

That sounds crazy.

Now, I must say, you're you're more bred at all the people you've talked about.

They sound freaking insane.

I want to help you, girl.

You said you've been to Montrose.

I know.

I was there for like a tiny film.

You're wearing a cloak.

It's fine.

And you're speaking in a fake British accent.

You sound insane.

I got this cloak at Uniqlo.

It's chill.

Wait, you went to Uniqlo and Magique?

Yes, Uniqlo.

From two different places.

Yes, of course.

They're great.

Now, of course.

Now,

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to sign you.

Whoa.

I just have to get you out of Colorado.

It's killing you.

I just, I don't,

I don't know where I would go.

Come to LA.

Wait a minute, Scott, I know what to do.

Oh, okay.

Hey there, girl.

Look at how hot you are.

Look at how big.

Look at vroom vroom.

Vroom vroom.

Look, I have a truck.

It's downstairs.

He's coming for you.

Yeah, he's coming for you.

He's coming for you.

It's a 450 downstairs.

I need to see the truck.

Okay, okay.

I don't know.

Call your assistant, get it.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Lloyd!

Lloyd, wait, is this Lloyd from Entourage?

No, that was a joke based on me, but hold on.

Lloyd!

So that was based on you just like Ari was based on Ari Amani.

Yes, of course, of course.

Yes, Lloyd.

Yes, go down to the Ford dealership.

Yes, Lloyd.

Yes, talk to.

Okay.

What time's the lunch?

Okay.

Okay, somebody's Siri went off there.

Someone's Siri.

Okay.

Will, is that your Siri?

Oh, it's not my.

Mine's only in German.

Hold on.

I think, yes.

How weird.

Okay.

Okay.

330.

All right.

All right.

Bye.

What was I doing?

You're getting a 450 truck.

I forgot.

I have a meeting with

okay.

So this is not happening?

I have a meeting with Winn Diesel later.

If you can get a 450, I will absolutely move out here.

The 350 is what's rumored to come out soon.

So if you've got a 450,

I'm worried, though, that you're just going to jump from man to man, whomever has the biggest truck until, you know i mean like what right now this truck uh the the 250 has eight foot tall wheels they're twice as big as you i mean you know what uh suddenly i have to get somebody to just kind of um

much like the doves

yeah yeah the the throwing the doves out or the uh what was the other analogy you used uh oh some it was something with massaging the sparrows yeah that's right yeah yeah someone has to push me up like that yeah

cart won't do it oh no cart can't lift

Really?

He's got a slipped.

What kind of puny motherfucker is this?

This guy sucks balls.

He's got multiple slipped discs because he played a lot of football growing up.

Jesus.

He played a lot?

How many games?

He played

like 400 games a year.

400 a year.

That's Madden.

That's Madden.

Yeah,

those are Madden stats.

Yeah.

Okay, well, look.

We're coming up.

I hope you have a vibrator at the very least.

Look, this is not a question we like to ask on this show, but do you have a vibrator?

I have a track, and I like to sit on the

you just sit on the hood?

Yeah,

okay.

All right, well, go ahead.

I don't know what to say.

Well, look, you're no help.

You're not tired of meeting with Bin Diesel yet.

I've tried to risk it, but I've got a meeting with Bin Diesel.

They're doing a Disney XD show.

Well,

we're just about wrapping up here to get you out in time for that meeting.

So

there's really only one thing left to do on the show, and that is a little something called plugs.

Wow.

Plugging.

Plugging.

Plugs.

You only like me for my plugs.

You only like me.

Okay, that was for my plugs by Sad Fillmore.

That was like a sound cloud rap.

That was very long.

It was a little too long.

How would you have done it?

Just plugs.

Here we go.

Boom.

Boom time.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Well, let's then at least keep our plugs to a minimum.

What do we plug in here?

Flula, what do you got?

My podcast, Boom Time, and subscribe it and love it and hug me digitally if you like.

That's right.

And if people see you on the street, and I hope they do.

Yeah, offer me some cashews.

Sure.

Yeah.

All right.

And Sprague the Whisperer.

What do you have?

Of course, I'm, well, three ninjas all grown up.

That's in pre-pro.

Six ninjas.

Six ninjas that's in pre-pro right now.

Six ninjas, three on the way.

That's, oh, I like that.

Maybe that's the end.

Scott, you're already involved.

Suddenly, all of the children of the three ninjas, their girlfriends, all come back from the doctor.

Now we're talking about

situation.

This is freaking good, Scott.

This is why I'm here to whisper.

And of course, you know, I was a consulting producer on the television show Wrecked on TBS.

You were?

Yes, I was.

I went out to Fiji shot.

It was real fun.

Zach Krager, Brian Sacker, a great cast.

When's this out?

Oh, well, it's already out.

Seasons one through three on the TBS app.

That's, of course, a very easily accessed app on your Apple TV.

Okay.

Any commercials you have to sit through if you're watching it on the app?

A couple commercials, maybe CNN pre-roll or something.

They advertise like Cuomo tonight a lot.

Okay, well.

So you're watching your own show.

Oh, yeah, tell me.

You're gonna watch Turner programming.

They're doing very well.

All right, very good.

And Kayla Dickey, by the way, your last name is Dickey.

It isn't ironic.

That's the one thing that you don't have a lot of.

That's good, Scott.

Wow.

That was harsh.

I don't mean to be harsh.

I just like, you've talked about it.

Yeah.

Are you upset?

No, I'm fine.

You're fine with it?

Yeah.

That's good.

That's nice.

That's nice.

Have you ever considered, by the way, like, instead of a guy who owns a big truck, just a guy who possesses a big dick and who has like a mid-sized car?

For me, it's all about that big truck and just seeing him in this big truck.

She's gone.

She's lost to us.

She's lost.

Let her go.

I tried, you know.

Sure.

Anything to plug, Kayla?

Just like big trucks, small dicks.

Sorry.

Wait, if there was a guy who had a big dick and a big truck, would that be okay?

There's got to be one.

I just, I wouldn't even know what to do with it.

There probably has never been a guy with a big dick who's bought a big truck.

So, I guess just roll that dice.

Um, yep, and follow me, follow me,

follow you down the street while you're doing taking these walks to shout stuff at you.

Follow me on the street.

Okay, great.

Thank you.

I want to plug the Comedy Bang Bang TV show.

You know, if you're in the U.S.,

all the episodes are out on Netflix.

If you're anywhere else, I believe they were all taken down.

So, sorry about that.

I also want to plug the PCAS Blast coming to LA LA

this Saturday.

That is exciting.

It's Comedy Bang Bang with myself, Lauren Lapkas, Paul F.

Tompkins, a lot of other special guests.

We have the Andy Daly Pilot Podcast Project, and he's doing something really interesting with it.

We also have Doughboy.

This the Doughboy.

Yes, you're a big fan over there.

We also have Throwing Shade, Teacher's Lounge, and

Off book, of course, the Improvised Musical.

So come see that at the theater at the Ace Hotel this Saturday, December 15th.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

Whoa, what a bag.

It's time to open it.

It's time

to open.

What a bag.

It's time to open it.

It's time to open the bag.

It's time to open the bag.

It's time to open the bag.

Oh, so so close to that being gone.

Who owns the rights to that song, Scott?

I think the three ninjas may.

It may be a package deal there.

Something good about closing up a blank.

We'll figure it out.

We'll see.

Yes, okay.

Guys, I want to thank you so much.

Flula, always great to see you.

Just a quick follow-up question.

Yes, please.

How many people have committed suicide after hearing that song?

Plenty of people have committed suicide during this show.

In fact, we had several people jump out a window

about

400 episodes back.

Got it.

But none this year, I believe.

Sprague the Whisperer, good luck to you.

I don't think I'm going to sign, but Flula was telling me during the break that he's very interested.

Can I keep the suit?

Of course.

Then count me in.

And Kayla, look, I would say good luck, but you're going to live a miserable life.

You're fucked.

But who are we to judge?

If you're happy.

I just ask that you pray for Jed Weeby and

get to yourself.

What if someone were to find Jed Weeby?

Would he be reinstalled as mayor and would you go back there?

Or what is your hope?

I think, like I said, he will have a big truck.

We will all pile in and we will just head on out.

Just this, all you see is like the end of a movie that life's not like that, where credits roll and everyone's just fine.

What's going to happen is you're going to drive off in the truck, you're going to go for a while, he's going to pull over to a gas station, and you're going to be like, what the hell are we doing?

You know, just

crazy.

Honestly, with Judd at the wheel, I

don't even care.

What is the magnetism of this Judd Weeby guy with his mayoral sex cult?

He's gotta meet this guy, this guy.

I don't know what he has going on, but all right, pray for him, pray for him.

All right, everyone, pray for Judd Weeby.

We'll see you next time.

Thanks.

Bye.

So, um, I was just parking my car, and then I saw you, the Gecko, huge fan.

I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.

The honor's mine.

I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

Well, the Geico app is top-notch.

I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?

Sign what?

The app?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, that means so much.

Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it.

Could you sign it again?

Anything to help, I suppose.

You're the best.

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Hey, everybody, it's Paul Scheer, host of How Did This Get Made, a podcast that covers the best, worst movies.

This week, we're diving into the brand new War of the Worlds reboot, starring Ice Cube.

Yes, the movie that got 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Ice Cube is saving the world from aliens via his computer.

It's so convoluted, this plot, but basically, if you have an Amazon account, you can save the day just like Ice Cube.

There is so much going on in this movie.

So, join me, June Diane Rayfill, and Jason Manzukis, as we break down every bizarre choice and every Ice Cube one-liner on this week's episode of How Did This Get Made?

The podcast that makes sense of movies that don't.