The Sweet Spot (Alan Tudyk, Ryan Rosenberg, Kylie Brakeman)

1h 23m
This week, Alan Tudyk enters the two-timers club and joins Scott to discuss the new season of his show “Resident Alien”, his return to “Andor”, “Superman”, and why he only plays aliens and robots. Then, a child known as Landon gets dropped off at Scott’s house to ask for some candy. Finally, talent wrangler Donna Walkie drops in to discuss her family business.

Listen and follow along

Transcript

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Two bits, four bits, six bits.

I got to get rid of these dogs.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Thank you to Bosco T.

Jones for that catchphrase submission.

I was able to say it.

That's a plus.

I've been having trouble saying the catchphrases recently that are submitted.

So that one came out of me.

Usually I trip over the last third on one of the words, but I was able to say it.

I don't know that I can say this every single episode, you know?

Two bits, four bits, six bits.

See, then I said bits.

Yeah.

Get out of here, Bosco T.

Jones.

I'm not going to do it.

Thank you for your submission, though.

Wonderful to have you submit a catchphrase.

The hunt continues.

But welcome to Company Bang Bang for another week.

We have an exceptional episode coming up a little later.

We have a child.

Just a child?

Okay.

We also have a talent wrangler.

Okay, well, we have some talent on this show, certainly,

because I want to introduce him.

He is our first guest on the show.

He is entering the exclusive Two Timers Club on the show.

Of course he was on the TV show once,

but

you know him from such movies as Deadpool 2.

Is that your first credit you

blink and miss me?

Deadpool 2.

It was the first one I just looked down on.

But you know him as Wash on Firefly and Serenity, of course.

He's in,

does a voice on every Disney animated movie, I believe, that's been released in the last eight years, ten years?

15.

15 years.

Yeah.

You're like the Cliff Clavin of

Disney.

Yeah.

And we'll get to that in a second.

I know we talked about that last time.

I don't want to repeat our exact conversation since you're entering into the Two Timers Club.

Yeah.

I want this to be new stuff.

Okay, cool.

I got some new material.

And

he has

the fourth season of his show, Resident Alien, is out now, but people will basically remember him as Ray Starsky from the Christmas episode of Comedy Bang Bang.

Exactly.

The Lonely Island episode from season two, of course.

Please welcome back to the show in the Two Timers Club, Alan Tudik.

Thank you very much.

How are you?

Great to see you again.

Thank you.

It's good to be here.

It's good to see you as well.

Yeah.

Now, you were last on six years ago

and you were talking about a play.

How did that go?

It went wonderfully.

let me refresh your memory was it i think it was um uh the mysterious circumstances mysterious circumstances yes how did it go it went really well uh it was my first play and now uh only play in los angeles they haven't had me back in any of the plays did they was it like the band that i used to be in where they broke up and reformed without me did the everyone else in the play start a different play but you were the only person who didn't come back i have been back uh to the theater and have seen some of my fellow castmates in other productions.

So they moved on without you.

They did.

Wow.

But

I know.

It's okay.

I, you know, it was a

special role.

I got to play like two characters within it, and it was all about

Sherlock Holmes.

Did you play Holmes?

And I know we must have talked about this six years ago, but the facts of it elude me at this point.

Me too.

Were you Holmes and Watson?

Because that would be hard because they talked to each other.

No, I was Holmes and the foremost Sherlock Holmes

collector of things and

I'm saying in the modern era or?

Well, he was in the modern era, but he was killed mysteriously.

What the?

And then Sherlock Holmes shows up to solve the crime of the guy who died.

I got to see this show.

Are you still going to do it?

No, no, no.

That was six years ago.

Yeah, it was six years ago.

I've moved on as well, but it was like.

Really?

Yeah, surprisingly.

You haven't thought about this every single night since.

Yeah.

I'm trying to remember character names.

The reason I bring it up, I was like, oh, yeah, Ellen's been on the show before.

Resident Alien, he must have been promoting that.

Then I looked it up and I was like, oh, it was six years ago.

Oh, you're one of the, I've talked about the hierarchy of podcast guests here.

Of course, we love our movie stars.

Right.

TV stars.

Hey, great.

We'll take them.

Then you go to comedian with a special.

Oh.

Getting a little dodgier.

Oh, no.

Then authors.

And then every once in a while, we're forced to take him.

A fellow podcaster.

Oh, my God.

Oh my God.

Jeez.

But I was like, oh, wow.

So Alan, he's a TV star for Resident Alien.

He must have been promoting that.

But then you threw a monkey into my hierarchy with Guy in Play?

I don't even know where to rank that.

Yeah, man.

It's somewhere below novelist, I'm fairly sure.

Probably.

Might be below podcaster.

I don't know.

no, it is a tradition.

It is a

way.

It wasn't like you were in Hamilton or something like that.

Like, you know, I'm sure it was a great play, but

it was, and it could have gone to Broadway.

And it still, hey, it might have.

Without me.

That's very possible.

I haven't been keeping track of things in New York.

Speaking of musicals, though, do you sing, Jeremy Piven?

Do you, do you, that's an inside joke.

Do you sing?

Could you be in musicals?

You don't sing.

It's so interesting because you do.

You're such an exceptional mimic and voice artist.

You can control your voice so dynamically, I would think that you would be able to sing as well.

You would think.

And I was in a musical on Broadway.

Which one?

Spam-a-lot.

You have a Spam-A-Lot energy.

Yeah.

Well, Hanka's area originated the role of

multiple roles again.

It was Lancelot.

You're a multiple role guy.

Yeah, that's me.

I've been from the 90s, I've been multi-like.

What if you only played one role in every you still got to be in all the movies and TV shows you've ever done, but it had to be the one role like Richard Belzer?

Would it still be as satisfying?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Because you're a multiple role guy.

Exactly.

It's much more fulfilling.

I played, you know,

I did a bunch of stuff in it, but

I sang what Hank could sing.

And no offense, because Hank can, he's actually touring with like a Bruce Springsteen.

Is he part of the E-Street band now?

No, he's like, he does a

cover band and a sing-alike.

Sort of like what Michael Shannon does with REM?

Yes.

Okay.

And he's last time I ran into him in New York and he was doing that.

And

so I did everything.

I had to be a rich movie or TV actor and just tour around the country singing songs.

Whatever you want.

I've always wanted to be this.

Yeah.

God damn it.

Yeah.

So, so you were able to sing what he was able to sing, which is no not no offense not as not as challenging as right right the the the guy um uh chris sieber who played galahad uh take you know he is a brilliant musical theater artist and can sing and can hammer his voice and it still comes out clear i was i had to be on like i couldn't go to restaurants because if you had to talk over a din then i would lose lose all ability what about that thing like i've seen that every broadway actor uses it now it's the thing you put over your face now, and you breathe in like fumes and stuff like that at night before you go to bed.

This was early spam a lot.

We didn't have these things back then.

No, it didn't exist.

We just had to do just you know, steroid injections in the throat in the back alley.

Find the theater, me and Harvey Feirstein.

Give me some juice.

Is he still doing his show?

His

Watchman show back then?

No.

He does.

He's he did a fiddler.

He did it.

Oh, that's right.

Yes.

He's more, he's more writing now.

Yes.

Look, his show was great.

Stinky Boots, the Harvey Firestein.

I love John Lovitz's impression of him.

I just want to be loved.

Is that so wrong?

One of the greats.

And of course,

so you've done Broadway.

Yes.

But now we're talking about TV stars.

You've bounced back from this play business.

You're back on TV.

Finally.

It's got to feel good, right?

Yeah, sure.

Yes, it does.

It does, especially in the current climate.

Yes, it's great to have a show.

Especially a show for four seasons with this many episodes.

Like season two is like 16 episodes.

How many episodes a year do you do?

It's changed every year.

Every season.

So the first season was 10.

And then they went, you know what?

We can save money because it's a broadcast.

It was on sci-fi and now it's on USA.

But when it was on sci-fi, they said, United States of America.

Yes, I know.

Just right when that brand is hitting, we moved over to USA.

That's really

strong, strong brand.

So they said we can save money if we just make a bunch more episodes.

So we made 16, and then the pandemic

hit.

No, the pandemic hit the first one.

And then we did 16, and that was a lot.

And then we that's like old school television.

That's like ER days and stuff.

Almost.

It's almost.

Those guys, I don't know how they do it.

But

then there was the strike.

You like to relax and chill, right?

I've always gotten that sense of you.

You know, I do.

And I don't do it as much as I should.

You should.

Yes.

I'm here to tell you, you need to

take a breathe.

I'm looking at your resume here.

There's too much stuff on it.

Yeah, I agree.

You know what I mean?

Let's pare it down.

I have begun, now that Resident Alien is over, turning down jobs.

Now, this is the last season of Resident Alien.

Is that true?

I don't think we're saying that.

Okay, great.

But again, in this climate, you never know.

You never know.

A show can always come back.

I wouldn't be surprised if at some point

the people at IFC reach out to me about my old TV show.

Yeah.

I actually would be surprised at this point.

I wouldn't have been surprised four years ago.

Is

IFC still around?

I don't think it's still a going concern at this point.

I think they were doing documentary now every five years, and I think they've closed up shop over there.

Doesn't mean they don't want to keep it on their own streaming service and not license it anymore anywhere else.

But now, let's talk about Resident Alien, unless you want to keep talking about my show.

We can trade on it.

We can thank you.

Thank you.

Crawling around in the ducts.

I agree.

I was worried about my performance, and I really liked it when I saw it.

It was really good.

I liked me.

Wow.

It was a great episode, too.

The Lonely Island Guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But let's talk about Resident Alien.

Season four out now.

By all accounts, you play a character named Harry Vander Spiegel.

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, he was a man, and then an alien comes down.

And this goes back to season one, where the alien kills the man and takes his identity.

He is able to shift the atoms around, and he is now this guy.

He's sort of like John Jones in the DC universe, the Martian Man Hunter.

Yep.

And I haven't gotten around to that one, that book.

Okay.

That book, but I'm going to say, yep.

Yep.

Because it sounds like it.

This is similarly based on a comic book, it is, yeah, it's uh, it's a graphic novel.

How does the alien come down and kill the first guy?

I know this is all spoilers for a Resident Alien, but I, you know, I don't, it's not too gruesome, is it?

No, no, no, you had him, no, he was his style, he was just coming down to kill all the humans.

Oh, no,

yeah, he just

sawed his head off with a

like one of those Rambo knives.

He was just coming here to drop a bomb to kill all the humans and leave Earth intact.

That's all he was doing?

That's all he was doing.

But he crash-landed and then finds himself in this house.

He decided to go one at a time.

Yeah.

He's got to get his hands dirty.

He's a little slower, but

he had that bloodlust.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

the guy hits him.

I mean, the Harry Vander Spiel hits him with a...

fireplace poker.

So he started it.

He started it.

Yeah.

Then I just.

Was he breaking and entering?

Was it a B ⁇ E first?

I was B ⁇ Eing, yeah.

So you started it.

I did.

You're right.

You're right.

It's his own home.

Stand your ground laws.

Yeah.

And then, well, it turns out that he wasn't a nice guy anyway, but I do.

Okay, that's good.

I throw him off a balcony and kill him.

I strangle him a bit, and then I throw him off a balcony.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

And then I take over his identity, and then I'm in this little town of patience.

And we root for you.

Yes, wildly.

Well, the guy's not a nice guy, right?

What do we find to mitigate it?

I'm sure you you find out like certain things about

as the season goes on.

Yeah, you do start to find out.

Okay, good.

So we're like, okay, that was a little gruesome.

Do you think, though, I know you know the ending of the series, which is out now.

Does he eventually have to pay for his crimes?

Is he executed?

No.

No, he's.

I don't want no spoilers, but he is not executed.

Although there is a threat of it at one point, but

you know, he tries to kill a boy for a while, this little kid for most of the seasons.

What?

Yeah, he's trying to to kill this kid.

He's number one.

He just wants to kill him, but the kid's smarter than him.

Judith Prane.

He was so cute when he started out.

And now he's a handsome, young, like 13 year old.

He's teams.

Yeah, he's 13.

Wow.

His voice has shifted into something new.

I feel like with kid actors, you got to...

Write the entire like four or five seasons, get them to film it all while they're still cute, and then send them on their way.

Well, he's still cute, but to a different

level.

In a different way.

We want to mitigate or we want to clarify

that the kid is still very cute, just in a more manly way at this point.

Right.

And

to this equally young ladies of his

home.

Certainly.

I'm guessing.

This would all embarrass him.

So that's why I'm.

Hopefully he's not listening.

What's his name, though?

We want his family.

Judah, Judah Prane.

Judah Prane.

If you're listening there, just tag Judah Prane.

He's on social media to listen to this.

But is part of the show, though, you go around

solving crimes as well?

We do solve some crimes.

And these are big crimes?

These are not like

shoplifting or.

One is who killed, there was a doctor.

So when I first land,

I'm out in this cabin and they come and get this doctor out in this cabin.

And they're like, it's a small town of patients.

It's like, what is this doctor still doing here?

And she's like, I don't know.

They always say he leaves before wintertime, but he's been here all winter.

And he's like, well, there he is.

He's out on his boat.

And they call me in and they they say, you're a doctor.

And he's like, just use, use your doctor in town.

They're like, we have a, we need to see what happened.

There was a murder.

And he's like, use the doctor in town.

I'm like, that's who murdered.

That's who's murdered.

So now I become the town doctor.

Yes.

And that's why I got to figure out who killed him.

Right.

So you, did you?

Turns out it was the guy I killed.

Whoa.

Oh,

nice.

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

That's season one.

That's good, right?

That's just season one.

That's just season one.

It's a, it's a pretty sweet season.

Um, so and then in this season i watched a little bit of of the first episode um

and are you're uh okay now i'm gonna ask a question i'm gonna see if i actually did watch it because i'm i'm confused are you trapped in a prison i am I am a prison on the moon.

Prison on the moon.

Is this a prison that Earthlings have constructed or other alien races?

Gray aliens.

The ones that we all know about.

The Martians.

Yeah, the ones that do the, yeah, yeah.

Up the, yeah.

Got it.

And so they, they are not satisfied with just sticking things up people's rectums.

They want to build prisons now.

They're getting into the prison industrial complex.

They steal babies.

That's their whole thing.

Yes.

They steal babies.

They steal babies.

To what end?

I don't know that I can say.

Okay.

That is a spoiler, but it does come out this season.

Whoa.

Okay.

So they've been stealing babies for now three seasons, and you don't know why?

Like, are babies just missing all the time?

Some people have realized they had been abducted when they were younger, so they were babies that were stolen.

um and and and are they returned as full-grown adults or some are returned as full-grown adults yes whoa and some are like oh my god yeah some are never returned this show sounds dynamite yeah i got i gotta catch up from the beginning how many episodes we say 26 36 probably 46 or so yeah wow i think that's it that's

you you can watch that in uh less than two days yes but please don't um

because in this climate you know this it's so hard to make a tv show I directed the first two episodes of this season, yeah.

Holy shit, how was that?

Is this the first thing you've directed?

I would say yes, even though it is.

I directed a small thing for the internet, and I leaned very heavily on my DP.

This was an hour-long show and very, very different from a little

right.

And you kicked your DP of this off the set, right?

Well, we could be on the set just at different times, just not allowed to share the same odd couple style.

You just tape down the middle of it.

It worked really well.

i'll take this half of the camera lens and you dig that half

yeah it was uh it was a very big challenge man it was so much because what we did was we we crossboard so it was two episodes so two hours and we shot that in 15 days two hours two two hours and 15 days whoa

and that is and then i was acting in it that's even harder in the beginning i play two aliens there's another alien who's taking my place while i'm up in prison so i would have scenes where i'm two different aliens and

directing.

Then I'm directing, yeah.

Did you ever think to say, like, hey, can I just not act in this one?

And I'll just direct it.

You get some other guy to play my character?

He changes shapes.

They don't think anybody else can play this role but me.

And I don't want to just.

That's a valuable position to be in.

I don't want to convince them otherwise.

So how did you like it?

Is it something that you want to get into?

I think I would like to do a movie.

I would like to do a short film.

I want to go backwards now.

I want to do a short film.

A short.

Let me do a short.

Right.

And that is like a beginning and an end.

When you're doing a show and you're directing, you're directing, but also.

There's a sort of system in place where everyone knows how these things are already made.

And for ease to get directors in and out, they kind of have the way that they shoot them already set up.

Right.

There's a set style to things.

And

things can, you can get overridden on ideas and things like that in a way that I'm sure you do on films.

But

the edit.

Look, I don't want to say this out loud.

Are you recording this all day?

To be honest, I don't know.

I've had some issues in the past with the recording.

But, but, yeah, basically, in TV, the director doesn't have a lot of the

power that he does in film where it's kind of taken away and someone else edits it and you get it back and go, like, oh, interesting choices.

I wouldn't have made that choice.

Here's one.

Here's one.

Just so young directors out there who don't know,

here's an idea that I didn't know this could be done and I'll point the finger at

NBC because they're huge and who is that

don't

that NBC the National Broadcasting Corporation I was watching a scene I'm like there's another character here

where's the character that was here they just took a character completely out of a scene they took he had a little bitty like a little cameo thing where he comes in and and has a little he looks and kind of waves and gets out and they're like yeah we didn't like that so we got rid of of it.

Wait, but let me just get clarity on.

Yeah.

You put a scene where a guy just walks in, looks at the camera, and waves and walks out.

Nothing wrong with that.

I mean,

I don't know who to root for in this situation.

I'm breaking boundaries.

This is new ground, man.

Yeah.

It was somebody who

in the context of it.

It meant something at the time.

But I mean, mean that's that's the problem with directing sometimes is you just gotta for time for clarity of story you just kind of gotta lose some of those things yeah and if you burn too much you know if somebody if let's say an actor

I have a different relationship with actors now too yeah I think actors as as you

when you're making something like it was sort of like making a movie making these two episodes together you have a team of people the pre-production all these people who come together to make it happen there's a there's a thing called show and tell a prop show and tell, where you go through a table that has every prop you're going to use in the episode.

So, look at this toothbrush.

Is this the toothbrush you wanted?

No, no, no.

Because when you're on set, it's so expensive that you need to take care of all of these decisions beforehand so that you don't get to the set and then you have to waste 20 minutes while someone finds a better toothbrush.

Right.

Yeah.

So there's a lot of conversations about like, is that the toothbrush we have to have?

Why is it wide on the back?

It needs to be thinner and all the things you figure out.

So there's so many people who come together.

This is how we're going to do it.

We got to, we're, it's going to be a tough day.

You start out your day, you're the first one there.

Oh my gosh, and then the actors kind of swan on

drinking like coconut water and with you know headphones in, and they're like, Put more makeup on me.

And it's like, didn't you?

You already have so much makeup on, there's so much, and you've had all morning to do this.

Requested more makeup while I've been in the chair.

Last looks, because then they come in for last looks to make sure that it's all perfect.

And because this is ultimately network television, and it, and there is a standard um but everyone has great hair when they're on a tv show i do and and they all they all have these like working class jobs and i'm like you've just spent three hours in hair and makeup how did you do it before you got to work today yeah or they wake up in the morning full face of makeup yeah they just shake their hair out and yeah yeah except the english the english uh tv shows that you'll see on the streamers yeah i love those they're all messed up they look like people oh man that would be so great to do one of those right you do four or six episodes and then you just like take the rest of the year off they pay terribly all right in this climate it's okay i did a i did a film in england a long time ago called uh death at a funeral there's an english one there's an american one i'm in the english one and i remember getting last looks from my uh makeup artist and hair because they they're one person in england and they're like last looks and she was way across this like field and she put her her hand over her eyes like she's squinted yeah squinted like she's on the prow of a ship spotting land and goes

yeah, you're all right.

That's the level of attention to detail that the English have when they're putting things together.

Yeah, what do you want more for?

Come on.

Speaking of England, I wonder if you filmed this in England, but we saw your return to the Star Wars universe with Andor this season.

You play K2SO.

K2SO, and fans were so excited to see you back because you're in the movie Rogue One and Andor is a prequel.

And so people were like, Do we get to see?

And then, man, when all those robots popped up, it's like, oh, I think he might be one of them.

And yeah, and you were in a good like four episodes in the back or so.

Two.

But it was so much

content packed into a performance.

But that character is so funny, and you're so funny in it.

Thank you, man.

And great to have you back.

Was that a thrill to get that call of like, yay, I'm back in Andor?

Yes, it was.

But there were two calls.

There was the, you're back in Andor and the last two seasons you're going to be in.

So don't freak out when you're not in Andor.

We're doing five seasons and then you'll be in the last two.

And then they did the first season.

It took almost three years to make.

And they went, all right, so we're not doing five seasons of this.

Andor is going to be 60 when we get to the prequel, you know, going into Rogue One.

He actually looks pretty much the same.

Because I rolled right into Rogue One after watching Andor.

I was like, this dude doesn't age.

Look at this guy.

Yeah, he did all right.

Yeah.

He would probably quibble with you, but yeah, no,

yeah.

But

it's great to have your character back in there.

And it's so funny to watch Rogue One right afterwards because,

you know, Felicity Jones gets, she's like,

has as big a part as Andor

in the movie Rogue One.

And you're like, I've just spent like 24 hours with Andor.

I know him really well.

Who are you?

So I want to see a prequel series of her character now with two seasons.

Yes.

And then we see how they link up.

I like it.

I like it.

Because then she would have her Saul Guerrera years with,

yeah, Forrest Whitaker.

That would be amazing.

And then you watch Rogue One and it would make sense of like, oh, these two people that we know so well are finally meeting up.

That would be great.

Yes.

Can you get me this job?

I was just at Iowa.

I don't mean I want to write or make it.

I just want to be in charge of it.

Oh, I think that job is available.

Yeah, it's, it is, I've been able to do a lot of, some, some stuff with him recently.

You said you were just at

ILM.

At ILM, yeah.

Yeah.

And what were you doing?

I was with Tony Gilroy doing just sort of promotional stuff for, they're doing a big Emmy campaign.

For Andor.

For Andor.

Yeah.

And I've never done one of those before, I realized when I was doing that one, because it is different.

You've never done, you've never been, I'm trying to think of something you would have done.

I mean, I guess Firefly.

No, they canceled us.

Yeah.

So things, things that I've done have either been, have been, oh, they've been canceled.

They've been canceled.

Yeah, they've been canceled.

And there haven't been, there's never been a moment.

I've never been on a show that's been like, while it's on, people like it.

Firefly got big after it was over.

And that was kind of one of the reasons why it got big was because like, why would you cancel this, you idiot?

I mean, I, I tried to get you out there for your episode of Comedy Bang Bang as guest star,

but

then I found out they didn't even submit me for the show,

and yeah, maybe might have been a bone of contention between the network and I.

That's I'm living a similar life with uh Resident Alien, but you know, we, you go and you do these, you do these showings of episodes and then you talk, and it gets you get to answer questions that fans have, but they've gotten really like in doing it with Tony Gilroy, like he's very candid and just talks about the whole process and how hard it was.

And,

and he just, yeah, easy.

It's, it's fun to listen to.

I learned a lot.

It's an insane show.

It's so good.

It really, really is.

I think it's an important show.

I can't believe it's ruined other shows for me.

Now I watch other shows that I used to like, then I'm like, what is this crap?

Yeah.

This is, you can't, no, this is, this is.

It's like I can't watch the circle without going, like, this is an Andor.

You know, what's the circle?

Is that Netflix reality show where they're all

trapped in an apartment building?

I don't watch those shows.

I don't watch it.

Oh, Mr.

Classy over here.

I don't watch any reality shows

any reality shows none none

yeah I know I can't I don't it makes if it's yeah no what do you what do you do for fun what does that want to do to do for fun I go hiking really I do that I go hiking with my my wife and my dogs okay that's fun I guess for like one hour and then fill up the rest of the day

we've been living in Vancouver for the last several years doing resident alien so a lot of the hiking is like three, four hours.

Oh, okay.

All right.

There's bears.

You see bears on your path.

That sounds terrible.

It was a little scary.

I told you.

I'm still alive.

I know.

Because

a biker came up and he's like, there's a bear behind me.

And then it turned the corners, this massive bear just walking towards a black bear, walking towards us on the path, in this skinny little path.

And he goes, I'm sorry.

I've led him to you.

Because he was going to get away.

He had a bike.

And my wife, who is Canadian, goes, oh, it's a black bear, so we just have to scare it.

And she goes, ah,

like that.

It goes so cute.

And the bear just like cringed and very politely walked off the trail into the woods.

Cringed like embarrassed for her?

Oh, I am so sorry.

I didn't see you there.

Oh, that is not a good look, honey.

Watching the office.

I'm going to leave you to whatever this is.

Well, this is this sounds fun.

You're in this big television show that's done 46 episodes.

Season four of Resident Alien is out now.

Do you have anything on the horizon that

we can talk about?

Oh, I'm going to be in Superman.

Oh, shit.

That's right.

I'm a robot again.

I do robots and aliens.

Yeah.

And you do animals

in the movies where you're the only white person.

Like Ryan.

You crack the code on that.

They're like, we need Helen in this.

He can't play one of the characters.

Let's make him a chicken.

Yep.

Yep.

How did you get involved in this?

Of like, why are you the good luck charm for Disney?

My God.

It was just, I did Wreck-It Ralph, where I played King Candy, who's, you know, this guy who sounded like Ed Wynn.

They said we'd like him to pattern him after Ed Wynn, the vaudevillian actor.

And you said, okay, I'll just do Ed Wynn.

Yes.

Yes, I can do that.

Yes.

Here it is.

And after the read-through,

John Lasseter was like, Man, it is good to meet you.

And he said it in this weird way that was like, that it made me go, oh, that's, I think that was a good thing, the way he said that.

Yeah, that seems like

pretentious.

Yes.

And it certainly was because then they put me in Frozen, this movie that they had on the shelf for a while, this script that they're like, I don't know.

We don't know what we're doing with this.

And they're like, well, let's pull it and let's make a musical.

And they said, play this old man who's the Duke of Wesselton, who's in this

like a chicken with the face of a monkey.

I fly.

It's on regular rotation in this house with my daughter.

Yeah.

So that guy.

Yeah.

And then they, after that, they said, and I think it was last year, it's like, Alan's our good luck charm.

I was like, yep.

Uh-huh.

I certainly am.

Gosh, yes, that's that's exactly what did that.

Um,

and so is it just how, as uh, as someone who is a working actor who now has a career where I'm looking at your resume here, you're in too much stuff.

Save some for the rest of us.

But

what would you say to aspiring actors out there?

What is the secret of your success?

Do you come prepared?

Are you pleasant to work with?

What do mainly, because that was my experience with you, but what do mainly you want the impression to be of you when you leave a set?

I think you definitely have to be pleasant to work with.

Because that's how you get cast.

After people, people will see you and they'll go, oh, you know what?

If somebody sees you in that thing, they'll call.

People know each other.

So they can call the person who hired you and say, what were they like on set?

Right.

And then that's your green light or your.

So what are you like on set?

Are you just like a chill dude or what?

You know what I mean?

It depends on the set.

You know, in at on Resident Alien, I'm much more involved because I've been doing it for so long and I'm the lead.

And so I'll have, if I have ideas, I

voice them and

talk with Chris about them and Chris Sheridan, who created the show.

And

we're already working on them before we get there.

So

yeah, I'm pretty easygoing.

When it's a show that I'm supporting and I'm a guest on somebody's show, I tend to be, you know, thankful to be there.

You, I mean, on the Comedy Bang Bang TV show, it was just a straight offer.

We, you know, fan of your work, obviously.

And so we just offered it to you.

Rolled the dice on that one.

You took it.

I don't think you'd seen the show or anything like that, but maybe you heard who was involved or something.

I had seen it.

I had seen it.

You had seen it.

And then

I knew who you were.

Oh.

And I was a fan of Reggie.

Yeah.

And so you just, and you showed up, you were prepared.

You knew all your lines.

And which on that show,

it sounds like that shouldn't be a compliment, but you were in the top 10% of people we cast on that show.

You knew all your lines.

You came, you were funny, you were prepared, and you were a pleasant person to work with.

And I think, you know, it does not surprise me uh to to see that disney keeps bringing you back and everyone just wants to work with you the cool thing about disney and this is something that in all voiceover stuff that i found um well not all voiceover most voiceover they they'll let you improv a lot like they you'll have like a four hour chunk of time to record and you are done in two hours and then you just play yeah and so much stuff comes out of that they actually like it better in fact most most of the animated movies that i was working working on, the scripts weren't written yet.

So they were kind of relying on the actors to like improv a lot and lead them into like, oh, we don't have to write this line anymore.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Well, Alan, Resident Alien is out right now.

People can see it on USA, the United States of America Network.

That's the one.

And you want people to be chanting USA and clapping as they watch.

Well, no,

chant USA up until the watch.

Got it.

And then pause for that.

And then once it ends,

back into it yeah all right we're gonna take a break when we come back we're gonna have more with alan we're gonna have a child here we also have a talent wrangler this is an exciting show for you to be a part of yes all right we're gonna take a break we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this

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You know, when you think about game day,

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I mean, they're two, one's two words and one's one word, first of all.

That's confusing right off the bat.

And then they're totally different

letters, although the A's, there still are two A's, but the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair, and the W and the

Y is in both.

I mean, this is pretty similar, actually.

Game Day, Wayfair.

I mean, you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right?

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Kulop ordered a bunch of holiday stuff.

She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween,

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

We have Alan Tudic here of Resident Alien on USA.

Do you know the night it's on every week?

Oh, yes.

It's the sweet spot.

Fridays at 11.

Right after.

So all the teens and adults are gone out of the house and the kids who might be interested in genre program are already in bed.

It's evidently USA's biggest night because they have wrestling.

Oh, okay.

So it's right after that.

We're right after wrestling.

That actually makes sense.

So had, I mean, I wish that we had done some cross-promotional wrestling stuff with me, maybe wrestling someone as the alien.

Killing the wrestlers.

Ah, yes.

That's something.

I think that could have gone a long way.

This is the old silk stockings time slot.

If you remember that.

Yes.

Michael Jeter.

Oh, Michael Jeter.

Love him.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's get to our next guest.

He is a child, but I know what you're asking.

What child is this?

Well, it's Landon.

Please welcome Landon.

Hi, Scott.

How's it going?

Is that what you sound like?

Yeah, it's exactly how I sound like.

Are you excited to have me?

I am so excited to have you.

This is Alan.

Hey, Alan.

Hey, Landon.

Yeah, Landon.

Nice to meet you.

Like, Land and then on.

So it's important to get not to be confused with a fish or anything like that.

Correct.

That would be water in.

Yes.

I'm Landon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Landon.

Landon, of course.

Yeah, Landon.

Can you have a piece of candy before we get started?

Can I have a piece of candy?

Alan, do you have a piece of candy on you, Bunny?

In your pockets, perhaps?

No, I mean, I have a cough drop in my car.

Ooh,

could you go get it?

Any little piece of sugar would be really good to get away from.

How far away did you part?

Yeah, I don't think it's worth it.

Okay.

Okay.

It's sucretes.

You don't want that.

It's not very sweet.

Yeah, I'm afraid I don't keep a lot of candy here in the house.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

Well, I apologize.

That's okay.

If I had gotten some sort of advance from your people or whatever,

you're just a kid.

Yeah, I don't really have anything.

An advanced VR team.

Yeah, no.

But

in any case, wonderful to have you on the show.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

So you don't have any sort of candy or sweet or sugar or juice or like a fruit?

A fruit?

You'd take fruits?

Well,

candy fruit, ideally.

No, I don't not even fruit.

Not even fruit fruit.

What do you eat?

Well,

usually I start out the day.

It's a little unconventional, I know, but I break my fast from the night before.

That is crazy.

That's crazy.

You know, the normal human being stuff.

I'm certainly not an alien who's here on Earth.

I eat earthling food.

Yeah, it sounds like you're having a tough time coming up with anything besides candy.

I'm thinking you have a lot of candy in the house, and you just don't want to tell me about it.

I don't.

Is it okay if I walk around a little?

I guess.

Just sort of take the mic and check the room.

Yeah, sure.

You want to walk around?

Are we going to hear your footsteps as you walk around?

No, they're little.

They're too little.

You can hear it.

Take one step and let me hear if I can hear it.

I did hear a little something.

Hey, what is this over here?

I can't

get a...

It's just a dust bunny.

Yeah.

I thought it was going to be candy.

I almost licked the floor.

Please don't do that, Landon.

Okay.

Why not?

Is there candy all over it, hidden?

No.

Drugs.

Scott?

There aren't drugs here either.

It's just dirt tends to...

There is such a thing as gravity, and dirt tends to fall on the ground.

If I were to lick the ceiling, I think there would be less dirt, ironically.

Okay.

I don't know why that was.

Landon, you might have

an addiction.

Has anybody ever said that?

Yes, sugar can be very addictive.

I didn't know that.

No, I know, but I like it.

I mean, I love it.

Okay.

What's the last time you guys ate sugar?

Any sugar in your mouth?

In my mouth currently?

No, no, I haven't.

All right.

I'm actually on a cleanse right now.

Are you really?

I'm sugar-free.

Yuck.

I probably had some last night.

I had a little bit of ice cream, I think.

I love ice cream.

What kind?

Snickers?

Snickerdoodle?

Cinnamon?

Nothing Snicker-related.

Shoot!

Shoot!

Scott, I got a mind mind to come over there and kiss your mouth on the inside out just to see if there's sugar in it.

I swear to you, that was about almost 24 hours ago.

I haven't had any sugar at this point.

I don't have any here in the recording studio.

This show stinks.

Well, it stinks to be here.

You wouldn't be the first to say that, but I think for the wrong reasons.

Why do other people say it?

What's the other problem?

Because it's a bad show.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it stinks for two reasons then.

No candy, no laughs.

I haven't laughed once.

Well, I apologize, but I mean, honestly, uh.

I think that might be the withdrawals.

Yeah.

Could be, yeah.

Could be.

What is a withdrawal?

A withdrawal is when your system wants the thing that you're addicted to, but can't have it.

And so your body can be in a bad mood because of it.

I am in a bad mood.

You can have mood swings up and down.

I need it now.

Oh, my.

Yeah.

I'm about to do something bad.

What are you going to do?

Please.

Color on the wall or

we just have these professionally done no these really this is professional okay no offense my dad works in paint yeah well wait have i met him before

i don't know

no no he's not a character ringing a weird but a character i don't know what about your life scott i'm getting pissed off landon try take a breath See if you can manage your symptoms and tell us why you're here.

I don't know why I'm here.

I was dropped off and I want candy.

That's it.

What are you looking for from me?

Well, you're a guest on this talk show.

I thought you came here to talk about something or.

Well, you're the adult.

Okay, he's got me there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you talk about with kids?

I try.

I mean, I'm not necessarily allowed to talk about that.

Don't you have a kid?

Oh, I have my.

Yeah, I'm allowed to talk to that one.

Okay.

Just one.

You only get one kid a week.

How often are you allowed to talk to your own kid?

I talk to my kid pretty much every day.

Oh, good.

good yeah

we we got a one a day rule plus vitamins

is there any sugar in those vitamins there are sugar in them yeah i where do you keep them i do i have what look i have a cupboard over there

you're already walking towards it i'm tiptoeing scott it was

when we moved into this studio there's one cupboard that has a padlock on it that we're not allowed i mean not we're not it's not that we're not allowed to open it.

We just don't know the combination for it.

You don't know the combo at all?

We don't know the combination, but we've never been able to open this cupboard over here.

What if I just try every combo for the rest of the show?

Yeah, starting with what?

I mean, it's a three-digit.

Well, it's a three-digit.

Okay, so that'd be the first one.

One, two, one, two, three.

So one, twelve, and 125.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just, I look at everything and I just say each one, but 12.

12.

You're just going to try 12.

Yeah.

Okay, put it in.

Didn't work.

Wow.

That was fast.

This

sucks.

I'm sorry, but if, yeah, maybe there's something in there.

I have no idea.

If you want to keep trying conversations,

combinations, rather.

I'll try conversation.

I'd rather you tried a conversation because you're a guest on the show.

What's up, baby?

Want to open up for a little sugar kiss?

Didn't work.

The lock doesn't open at all.

Yeah.

Look,

do you have anything you wanted to talk about today other than sugar?

No, I didn't want to talk about anything.

I literally want a piece of sugar

candy, a guy,

a driver.

Are you you have a driver?

Yeah, a driver on your payroll?

It's not my payroll.

My parents put me in a car every morning.

It takes me somewhere, and then I look for candy, and if I find some, it was a good day.

If I don't, they got to hear about it.

what do your parents do if you don't mind me i don't know i don't even know i don't care you never asked them i don't care you don't care i don't care to me they go to the candy factory they buy the candy they bring it home that's what i think they're doing

okay

i mean maybe they do own a candy but it sounds like they're independently wealthy it does sound like you come from a wealthy home there might although i guess anyone could probably afford a car and a driver

don't you think

if they chose to spend their money on that yeah i guess so like you and i could probably at least go half on a driver.

Yes, not a good driver, but you know, a driver.

Yeah, I know a few drivers.

I don't know their names, but I can give you like their numbers or something.

You don't know their names, but you have their numbers.

Yes.

My parents give me very little information.

They just give you random numbers with no names attached.

Yeah, and I dial and I say, I hope this is a driver with candy.

Normally, it is.

So it's a different person every day.

Every day.

Hmm.

This sounds like an Uber.

Yes, maybe.

No.

I don't know a lot.

I can definitely afford an Uber.

I'm sort of one-track-minded.

What do you want to do with your life, if you don't mind me asking?

That's a good question.

I mean, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Your vocabulary is pretty advanced, I think, for a 12-year-old.

You have a

deep voice.

Although it's very light on your feet.

That's kind of my other little thing.

But you have a deep, resonant voice

that

sort of belies your age.

Thank you, thank you, yeah.

What do you envision for your life?

What's your five-year plan?

Chewing, swallowing, sucking, you know, and then, I don't know, get a job.

What do you like?

What kind of jobs?

I mean, look at Alan over here.

He's an actor.

Yeah, that's pretty glamorous, right?

You've been on a red carpet or two, Alan, you know?

I have, yeah.

Did you ever have any other jobs besides acting?

I weighed at tables.

Where did you wait tables?

I weighed at tables in New York City.

Really?

Which restaurant, do you mind?

At Harry's Burritos.

Harry's Burritos.

Yeah, the Buns.

71st.

On Columbus, between 71st and 72nd.

Sounds authentic.

Yeah, it was not good.

Yeah, but Harry didn't make a good burrito.

It was just okay.

I don't know that I want Harry in a restaurant title.

We did have very sweet margaritas, though, and if I had some sweet and sour to give you, I would.

Ah, God, I would drink it.

All of it.

Any of it.

It's been a while now.

So, I mean, you could be a waiter.

I could be a waiter.

You could be an actor.

Okay.

You could be a podcaster.

No, no.

Yeah.

Okay.

Now, I heard the way you trashed them earlier.

I don't want to be that.

I'd rather be just a freaky kid who eats candy my whole life than a podcaster.

It sounds to me like, instead of being on Comedy Bang Bang, like, you should go over on Doughboys or something.

I would love that.

Because they love that.

That's all they do on that show.

Really?

Junk and candy and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Dang, that sounds really funny.

Complain about it and rate it and stuff like that.

Just go on Doughboys.

Okay.

Do you know them?

I do, yeah.

Give me their numbers.

Okay, I'll also give you the names, if that's okay.

Perfect.

Yeah, great.

Yeah, write down anything on a paper that you want that'll get me over there, and then I'll do that.

Yeah, because this show is more of a show where I talk to people about their

careers or hopes, dreams.

And it sounds to me like you don't care about anything other than

candy.

You kind of wish I was someone else.

Well, it's difficult to talk to you.

Yeah.

No, I know, I know, I know.

Like, last time Alan was on, there was this guy by the name of Petey Tweety.

who was.

Oh, he was funny.

I heard that one.

I remember that.

What a smart guy that is.

Yeah,

I can't remember what I talked to him about.

Maybe tweets, maybe Twitter?

Twitter?

But he's an artist and sandwich maker.

Yeah, he was a sandwich.

No idea.

Did you listen to you listened to that episode?

I think I listened to it like you watched the episode of his show where you had to ask a question, even though, because you didn't really listen.

You know, you were there, but some of them were.

I was working while I was doing it.

I'm usually on my phone or something.

But, I mean, that guy, it sounds like, even though I can't remember our conversation in the slightest, it sounds like there was more to talk to him about.

Yeah, you might be right.

You might be right.

Have you been trying combinations, by the way?

I tried to talk more.

I tried one, two, five, six.

Didn't work.

Nothing.

Wow.

Nothing.

I would have thought that was it.

I know.

Me too.

Try 69.

69.

I can't believe I didn't try that.

Try it.

Yeah, try it out.

6969.

It didn't open.

Why'd you tell me to do that?

Oh, I just that's what I would have that was just your guess.

Yeah, that would be my guess.

You haven't guessed 6969?

I mean,

to be honest, I don't care what's in there, so I haven't even tried, but

oh, try 0000.

That's

from what I was reading, every hotel safe.

That'll open it.

Zero, zero.

If you're ever out there robbing hotels, zero, zero.

Didn't work.

Didn't work.

Damn.

I think it's okay, Landon, that you don't have any sugar right now.

I think after a couple of days, you're going to be a whole new kid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you go through some detox, detoxification.

What does that mean?

No sugar for how long?

How long do I have to detox to feel normal?

Let's see.

I watched Train Spotting.

He does it for a week.

That's heroin, but he does it for like a week or something, right?

Yeah.

It's pretty much sugar and heroin

are about the same.

About the same, yeah.

So like a week or something?

I guess I could try.

I mean,

I just met you guys.

You'll change my whole life.

Why not?

Look, we're trying to have a positive impact.

At Comedy Bang Bang, we have a new tagline, Comedy Bang Bang.

We care.

Wow.

And I care about you, Landon.

I buy it.

I buy it.

I buy it.

It's said with the utmost sincerity.

We care.

We care about our listeners.

We care about our guests.

And Landon, I care about you, and I want to see you succeed not only in this detoxification effort, but also in life itself.

Thank you very much, Scott.

You are a very nice man.

No, no problem.

No problem.

Try one, two, three, four, by the way.

One, two, three, four.

Whoa!

Oh, no.

Coco, what's in there?

What's in there?

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

What's in there?

Whoa, whoa.

Is there candy in there?

Wait.

She has more Flintstone vitamins.

These look like candy.

They have the trappings of it.

A little piece of candy vibe.

Okay, fine.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you.

All right.

Well, that'll get you through the show at least.

Yeah, I'll eat the rest of these vitamins throughout the rest of the show.

Fantastic.

Great.

Well, we have to take a break.

Can you stick around?

I'd love to.

Okay, fantastic.

When we come back, we have a talent wrangler.

This is an exciting show.

A child

who only likes candy and nothing else.

Yes.

And now a talent wrangler, Wrangler, rather.

We're going to come right back.

We're going to have more Alan Tudic.

We're going to have more Landon.

We'll be right back with more comedy bambing after this.

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comedy bang bang.

We're back.

Alan Tudic is here.

Resident Alien season four out right now.

We need to see what happens to this alien.

Will he escape justice or will he go back clapped in irons back to his home planet?

A disgrace for having failed his ultimate mission?

Or is he successful at setting off a bomb that kills us all?

Yeah, no, I'm not going to do that.

I just, I just,

you're not going to do it.

So if we watch this show and we get to episode 10, we're not in danger of a bomb going on.

No, not at all.

This season, it's more about, will I get off of the, get out of jail and back to my home planet to save the earth from the mantid.

The mantid?

Yeah, there's an evil mantid alien that is the most dangerous alien in the universe and it's been let loose on earth.

Oh, no.

A virgin planet, unspoiled by other mantids.

Oh, okay.

So, and what do mantids like to do?

They like to have sex with earthlings?

They like to, yeah, they like to mate.

They like to bite the heads off of people and any being, any kind of any kind of being.

Yeah, we saw, we saw, we only saw a mantid right at the end of season three.

Shit.

And it bit the head off of someone.

No.

Yeah, the big pincers.

They're like, they're like, yeah.

Yeah, like praying mantises.

Praying mantises.

Sometimes I'll bite the head off just a little sour patch kid.

Yeah.

Or a Swedish fish.

You bit the head off of Fred Flintstone, I noticed.

Sorry about that.

Don't have to apologize.

Sorry, Fred, you're dead.

Said you could have whatever you wanted.

I guess it did give me a little pick-me-up.

I am pretty happy.

Yeah, you are kind of.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the blue ones are delicious.

They taste like blue.

Yeah, like blueberries.

Blueberry.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're really good.

These are really good, Scott.

Okay, well, I'm glad.

I'm glad you're happy, Final.

Good.

We need to get to our next guest, though.

She's a talent wrangler, and I wonder if

what side of the business she works in, but let's just talk to her.

Please welcome Donna Walkie.

Well, howdy, howdy, howdy.

Well, well, howdy.

Howdy,

hello.

I am a talent wrangler.

Donna is your name.

Donna, Donna Walkie.

Hi, Donna.

Great to meet you.

This is Alan.

Hi.

Hi.

This is Landon, who's obliged.

Hi.

Much obliged.

And Landon didn't have anything to talk about other than candy.

Seems like a thin premise, maybe, but

we worked with it.

Well, I'm happy to talk to you later about Sour Patch Kids and whatnot.

I'm happy to be here.

Listen, I wish I could come here under better circumstances.

You know,

I'm a talent wrangler for New York Fashion Week, see?

Oh, okay.

My family's been talent wranglers for New York Fashion Week for years and years and years, decades even.

And New York Fashion Week is the week where everyone goes to New York and looks at like new dresses and shit like that.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

That's exactly what it is.

Those models, they go up and down the runway, but what you don't see is all the wrangling that happens beforehand.

Yeah, what do you do?

What exactly do you do?

And then we'll get to the circumstances, I guess.

Of course, I just remembered my circumstances.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

I hate that.

Like, sometimes that happens to me in the middle of the night.

I remember my circumstances.

I'm like, oh, fuck.

I was so excited.

I was talking about my job, and then I remembered, oh, shoot, the conditions that I am in.

Yeah.

listen.

Well, so, you know, to answer your question, I take the models from point A to point B, take them to the green room, take them to the stage, take them back to their cars.

I wrangle them all over the place, and then when they're on the catwalk, they're sailing free and they're all good.

Got it.

So, this is a lot like wrangling steer or,

you know, yes, or

sheep or dogs or anything of that nature, really.

It's a lot of the same calls, too.

You know, tweet, tweet, come by, come by.

Bella Hadid, come by, come by.

And then we bring them in and

they get to their enclosure and we have everything set up for them, you know, granola bars,

cold pressed juice, anything.

And then they just sort of graze while they're in there.

Exactly, exactly.

And then it comes time to lead them to the catwalk, and you're the person to do that.

And I take them right there.

And never have I failed.

But recently, i have failed to wrangle the models what this is unprecedented as far as i can tell after just talking to you for two minutes

correctly this has never happened before you what happened you failed to wrangle i failed to wrangle the models the models got loose no

and they didn't make it to the stage bella haded missing that seems to be the one model that you can

you know by name there are many many more, but she is the alpha.

Sure,

she is the ringleader of the pack.

She is the strongest one.

They all defer to her.

Okay.

That's got to just be making things crazy in New York.

It's crazy in New York.

Well, to be honest, that's why I came here to Los Angeles because it seems like this is a New York problem.

What are you doing here?

This is a New York problem, but I figured, you know, I've searched high and low on all the streets of Manhattan.

Every single street.

Every single strip, Up and down the grid.

What about Columbia up by 71st up by Harry's Tacos?

Harry Tacos?

Harry's Burritos.

Harry's Burritos.

Shoot.

Oh, shoot.

Did you see on Broadway where it's not really a grid?

It sort of goes diagonal through a few.

Gosh, darn.

No, I only checked the grid.

I said, if I'm not making a perpendicular line, I'm not going any further.

Yeah, you'll miss a couple of streets that you're doing.

Down Soho, there's a lot of fashion down in Soho.

Yeah.

And that's probably, it's a good chance.

Bella.

Did you check any of Soho?

I checked Soho because, as far as I can remember, it's perpendicular lines.

So it fits within my rules.

It stands for South of Houston.

South of Houston.

Wow.

What a place.

So many dresses.

It's beautiful down there.

Yeah.

But you checked there.

I checked there.

And why are you here?

So I figured, you know, maybe these girls, these Glamazons,

they may have gone to the one place I haven't checked, which is the Erewhon.

I figure.

Oh, the Erewhon over there by the Grove.

Exactly.

Exactly the one.

For our people who are not Los Angeles listeners, which I think is most people listening, yet somehow we do a lot of Los Angeles-specific comedy on this show.

There's a very expensive grocery store called Erewhon.

Have you ever been inside, Alan?

Oh, we are members.

You're a member of Erewhon.

Yes.

A member.

They just started selling, what was it, an egg or something?

A big strawberry.

A strawberry.

I believe it was a big strawberry.

Did you get one of those for free, if you remember?

No, you don't get anything for free in marijuana.

It's like a $20 strawberry.

Yes, it's a $19 strawberry, and it's beautiful.

The models love this strawberry.

It reminds me of the Firefly episode when they got

her the strawberry from the planet.

Yeah, Kaylee, she got a strawberry.

I think about that a lot.

Anytime I eat a strawberry, I go, I should be enjoying this more because she did.

Yeah, then I just kind of go like, yeah, it's fine.

Yeah, that was

a seductive moment.

I like strawberries too now.

In any case, Erwan

is a very expensive grocery store.

It's even more expensive than Whole Foods, which, in my opinion, they should call Whole Paycheck.

Even I get that one.

I understand.

Fuck.

That cracked my shit up.

But it's very expensive.

It's over by the grove, and

its clientele seems to be be primarily Alan and his wife

and models.

Models, yes.

They have

actors.

And actors, models, even influencers.

Some.

Even influencers.

Even influencers, some interior decorators, you know, people of that caliber.

I wonder if mine.

We just had these walls done, by the way.

Oh, really?

Oh.

No.

Professional.

Oh, no, I was not.

Shut up, Landon.

I can see it.

I can see how a decorator was in here.

So you haven't checked there, so you decide to come on Comedy Bang Bang.

I'm not sure if I'm doing that.

So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your process here.

Yeah, so exactly.

I thought, I better come on this show.

Get on a platform that goes across to all of America.

Other countries, too.

And other countries as well.

And say, where are my models?

Can you help me find my models?

And if the models are listening.

I don't think there's any danger of that.

No models are listening to this show?

No, they're more of a call me daddy kind of vibe over there.

It seems to me like you'd rather be on that show.

Darn, darn, darn.

I wish I could.

Like you go on Doughboys.

Gosh.

Yeah, yeah.

You go on call me daddy, call her daddy, call who daddy?

I believe it's Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy.

Call her daddy.

Meanwhile, Alan and I, we'll just chill.

Yeah.

We'll do a brodown hoedown.

We have a different set of circumstances.

He's on an alien show for four years.

And I remember very specific episodes of Firefly.

And I'm excited by a robot on a Star Wars show.

Can I ask you a question?

What came first?

The models or the accent?

You don't sound like you're from New York City.

Well, that's true.

You know, my entire family talks like this.

We're a long line of

talent wranglers, long line of walkies.

And, you know, I suppose.

So, Walkie is not your married name.

Are you single?

No, I am married.

My married name is Walkie Talkie.

It's hyphenated, but I prefer to keep my maiden name because it is special to me, you know?

Are you married to a podcaster?

Yeah, he mostly does sports.

Oh, God.

Like Barstool?

Well, a little less scary than Barstool.

Kind of like

what if the Packers and the...

Oh, gosh, gosh.

so you know Bella Hadid and the Packers and this this is your family business and what your husband does for a living.

I cannot express enough how it has entrenched every facet of my life.

I was homeschooled to do this.

I was bred to do this from day one.

Bred to do this.

Your mom and dad had sex in order to have a baby that would do this.

They said, I know that the secrets of talent wrangling will be lost to time.

And I can't allow some rando bozo coming in here taking our family business away.

We need to breed a super soldier of talent wrangling.

How did you start doing this?

Did you start wrangling models first, or did you start with

slow?

They started me on sheep to get me acquainted.

That's how I started, doing something different.

What do you mean, Scott?

I'm sorry, I don't know.

I'm going to circle back to that.

What do you mean, Scott?

What do you mean?

sheep.

What do you mean with them?

What are you doing to them?

Harvesting wool.

Yeah, I guess.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Harvesting.

Of course.

Shaving things.

Yes.

Yes.

Of course.

I worked my way up to my pubes.

What do you mean?

I think I understand now.

Well, they start me on sheep

and they say, real simply, you know, my parents never coddled me.

They never gave me any participation trophies.

They'd say, wrangle these sheep from point A to point B, from the kitchen to the laundry room.

So I get.

Why are there sheep in your house?

So I'm so glad you asked.

My family,

I'm really glad.

If I seem stressed on my face, it's because I'm happy.

You're remembering your circumstances.

I'm remembering my circumstances.

I understand.

We keep the sheep in the house because they

help us go to sleep faster.

Oh, because you're counting.

Because we're counting.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

One, two, three, we're out.

Much faster than imagining them.

So

they start me on sheep.

How many sheep do you have in your house?

We have about 23 sheep.

Okay, but three and you're out.

Three.

Seems like you could lose or cull 20 of them.

A cull.

Oh, no.

I could never cull a sheep.

Those poor boys, the other 20 are there for,

what do you call it?

Morale.

The other three sheep need to be.

Sheep gets sad if there's only three of them.

It's true.

They're a very social creature.

If it's just three, they go, am I even in a herd?

What the heck?

What the heck is this?

Interesting sheep facts.

I didn't expect to get that from a talent wrangler, but I love this.

I'm a multi-dimensional human being.

You seem like it.

Thank you so much.

Listen.

Where'd you go to college?

I went to NYU.

New York University.

New York University.

Okay.

Gallatin,

they let you make up your own major, I'm pretty sure.

And majored.

You're pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure.

I think if I went there, I would like make sure.

Well, you know, I like to live in the moment.

Yeah, okay.

I like to live in the moment.

My guidance counselor tells me things, and I go, okay, sure.

I mean, that's the person who would know, I guess.

So you're a fully three-dimensional human being.

You're not an alien like Alan's character on Brezhnev Alien.

You are a human being.

You are born and bred to be a human being.

Yes, to be a human being, to be specifically a talent wrangler.

uh,

what's the most challenging model you ever worked with?

And please,

well, maybe it's Bella Hadida,

believe it or not, I know the name of a second model.

Oh, really?

Wow, I don't know if you've heard of her.

Her name is Kara D.

Levine.

Okay,

Kara D.

Levine, 5'11, total babe.

Okay.

Absolute smoke show.

And

a lover and a fighter.

In what respect?

She loves TV and she fights in boxing for fun.

Okay.

But Cara De Levine,

I remember that when the model started to go south on me before they escaped.

Cara De Levine started,

well, she started pranking me to death.

Pranking you to death.

Pranking me to death.

You seem.

Models are funny.

Models are funny, but you seem alive to me.

Everybody is alive.

I am am alive.

I just see the end very close.

So you're at death's door from these pranks?

I am at death's door because if the pranks continue, it's a slippery slope.

Who knows where they'll lead?

What are some of the pranks that Kara De Levine has pulled on you?

Oh,

these are brutal pranks.

These are absolutely unfathomable pranks.

These girls are not okay.

They've been putting retinol on my skin while I'm sleeping.

What does that do to someone's skin?

And what is retinol normally used for?

So, retinol,

it tightens the cells.

Yeah.

So

it makes your pores firmer and clearer.

Okay.

So when I wake up, I do believe I'm aging backwards.

Okay, that must be disconcerting to look in the mirror and say, like, oh, no, am I Benjamin Buttoning here?

I'm going backwards.

I'm, oh, shoot.

Oh, shoot.

I'm, oh, shoot.

Now I'm 22.

What the heck?

Well, how old are you now?

I'm 39.

You're 39 years old, but I was going to say you look younger.

You look like you're in your 20s.

Maybe

these models are doing you a favor?

It seems like they're just sharing beauty secrets with you.

But they don't tell me when they're doing it.

And when I wake up and I look in the mirror, they sort of say, ha ha,

kind of like Nelson from The Simpsons.

They say, ha ha.

They can tell.

Do you think they're intentionally doing it like Nelson from The Simpsons?

I think so.

You know, I'm.

Is that a Hinkazaria character?

I think it is.

It might be.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think they're going to be able to do it.

Just keep asking that next time you run into it.

Next time when I catch his show,

the balls.

I would say chances are 25% it's him.

I think that would be a very funny question.

Hey, it's also something easily look-uppable on the internet.

But I think if you could save that question next time.

Get it from the source.

I don't trust the mainstream media on this issue.

Yeah.

So they're standing over you when you wake up.

Why are you

asleep in a public place that these models can?

Well, the relationship between a talent wrangler, I don't know how it's done in these newfangled days, but in the old days, the old days of New York Fashion Week, you know, we take our operation very seriously.

The model and the talent wrangler, there needs to be

a relationship of trust.

So we like to spend days, weeks,

months on end together sometimes.

Just getting ready for one week week of fashion week.

Because when I say you go there,

Gigi.

Gigi, who?

Deed.

Okay.

I want her to know.

I feel as if we're at the very bottom of the list of models' names that you know.

Surely I have had a career of many years.

Surely I know more.

Surely, but who knows if it'll come up?

Who knows if it'll even come up.

But just know there is a base well of knowledge that is overflowing with models' names.

But they need to know that when you say, Gigi, go over there, that they need to have that trust in you.

They need to know I'm not some freak gazoid.

I'm not some pervert fan who's

trying to sneak a picture of them.

I am a trusted figure who's going to get you on that catwalk to fame, to fortune, and to stardom.

Well, it's a very important job.

I don't think we've ever gone into how they broke out of their holding pen.

Well,

they pants me really fast.

Were they just trying to put better clothes on you?

You know, they did have a big hanger full of Given Chi nearby, but I didn't think too much of it at the time.

It sounds like they're trying to give you some sort of a glow up here.

They're trying to give you free glam advice.

Because, I mean, you look gorgeous.

I was going to say, like, you're dressed very chic.

You look like you're in your 20s.

You're as beautiful as the Mona Lisa.

You don't look how you sound at all.

This is crazy to hear.

You know, I didn't, I don't think that these women, you know, it goes against everything I believe when women don't support other women.

So this would be a first.

It sounds like, do you go around complaining about your looks?

Well, sure, sure.

When I come into the dressing room, I go, oh, gosh, I'm just an ugly old fart.

I'm an ugly old fart with no friends and nothing to show for it.

Every day you say this.

Yes, I say, shame, shame on you, shame on you.

Maybe if you looked a little better, people would treat you differently.

I think that would be kind of a bummer to hang around with someone like that.

And it sounds to me like they're trying to do you a nice solid here and give you some nice clothes and give you some beauty tips.

You look gorgeous.

You look like you could be one of the models yourself right now.

Really?

Yeah, so I don't think that there was any kind of malice intended in this.

You don't think that Gigi Hadid or Bella Hadid or Kara De Levine

or Carly Kloss

or Tyra Banks or she's more of a TV star now

or Naomi.

Uh-oh.

Naomi

Campbell.

Go to sister.

Little hint.

You don't think that any of those women and the many more lack them

think that I am worthy of love?

You think they're trying to help me?

I think, first of all, I think everyone is worthy of love.

All.

It may not be the kind of love you want.

Like me, my type are the world's most beautiful supermodels that you've

mentioned.

That's my type.

That's a lot of people's type

or sheep or sheep or sheep

but i think everyone's worthy of love and i think that these are nice women it sounds like and they were trying to help you and and then maybe you scared them off but with your reaction wow you know i i did yell and scream a whole bunch

now i feel bad maybe i i don't know but should i should i call gigi and apologize you could call her this whole time

how are you on this show i wanted to find her on foot.

Have you been herding for 3,000 miles?

Yeah, I've been

herding cars to pick me up.

It's been so hard.

Yeah, just, yeah, this has a very simple solution.

Just call her.

Stop bothering us with this problem.

Ah, Jesus.

Well,

Donna Walkie

or Donnie Walkie Talkie.

Donnie Walkie Talkie.

Donna Walkie Talkie is my name.

If my husband's listening,

but if it's just me, Donna Walkie.

He's listening to some sports show, I'm sure.

But Pat McAfee or something.

Oh, I'm sure.

I'm sure.

But we are running out of time, guys.

We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

I'm gonna open up the plug bag of my mind.

I'm gonna look deep in entrance in time.

And if I look at what I'm seeing, I am bound to find some movie shows and music that I'm gonna like, oh yeah.

Oh no, oh no,

oh no.

No, you mean oh yeah,

oh oh

looking in the plug bag of my mind

Transand town

Look at what I'm seeing,

gonna find

movie shows and music I'm gonna like, oh yeah

Leono

Ah yeah, indeed.

That was Plug Bag on My Mind by Kickbucket and Sam Dior.

Thanks, guys.

That was fantastic.

If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs

and you can find everything.

You can upload your song.

You can find everything you would need to make a remix of our Closing the Plug Bag themes.

Head over there and you can be famous for a week.

And Kick Bucket and Sam Dior, you're famous for a week.

And Alan, what do we plug in here?

Obviously, Resident Alien is on for the next

month and a half or so.

Or

yeah, two months, somewhere on there.

So, yeah, like another few weeks.

It's going.

And

what else you got in the chamber?

The super, the superman, yeah.

When you play a robot, he's this man of steel.

I'm the man of titanium.

And so, I mean, which is better.

I mean, come on.

Have you gotten to see it?

I have not.

I've seen bits of it, but

they make you buy a ticket for it and just go.

I think I get to go to the premiere.

Do you really?

Yeah.

Oh, that's so exciting.

I have a one-sheet as like my as a promotional experience.

With your character, yeah.

And your is your name on it?

Uh, no, it just says number four.

That's my name.

My character's name is number four.

He's the fourth robot, and he was the good one.

Oh,

I got to see this film.

It's it's going to be amazing.

Yeah.

Um, and then also, uh, check out Andorgan.

It's a good rewatch.

Um, and uh

Disney film coming out at the end of the year in November or anything like that?

There is going to be

another.

I can't remember the name of it.

Should I just start naming Disney thing?

The next Disney film that's out, I'm going to be in it.

You're going to be in it.

I'm guessing.

If it, you know.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, that's.

Go check that out.

Go see it in the theater.

Go see a Disney film.

Yeah, they're fun in the theater.

I think, you know, the theater is theater's way to go yes we need the theatrical experience too and it's come roaring back with look i told zach alfenakis a few months ago we need a hit in his career uh because he hasn't had one in a long time and

canada well you know he's in lilo and stitch one of the biggest movies of the year all right we said he needed it We got it, baby.

Comedy bang bang bump.

That's what happens here.

Cool.

You're in something called Playdate coming up.

Oh, it's an action comedy film.

Playdate?

Stars Kevin James.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

You play a character named Simon Maddox.

Yes.

Simon Maddox.

He's kind of an Elon Musk type guy.

Oh, okay.

He's a bore of those.

It's going to be on Amazon.

I think it's going to be out this summer.

Oh, you're also in Creature Commandos.

I wanted to.

You're in Dr.

Phosphorus in that.

Yeah, that's great.

Another James Gunn production.

Yeah, James Gunn Peace.

Good shit.

And then then also, I'm Peacemaker 2.

Oh, you're in Peacemaker.

I'm not, but my wife choreographs that dance.

Oh, the one at the beginning?

Yeah, that's her.

Alan and I, we got a good thing going on.

I don't know much about candy.

I don't know much about models.

Do you really want to taste that?

I've had to hear that a lot in the house.

Oh, that's awesome.

For a long time.

She's a choreographer, right?

What else has she done?

Nothing.

She's done a lot of.

She does theater stuff.

She's mainly a theater choreographer.

Well, we don't want to get back to

theater.

Contemporary

first appearance.

She did assist me.

I should say she assisted me when I directed.

Oh, really?

And to say she assisted me is it sounds like she was kind of second fiddle.

She had better ideas than definitely about shots and stuff.

This is sort of like almost a co-directing kind of thing.

Yeah, but you can't be because of rules.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But when I'm acting, I can't see myself.

So I could, she would be on set to watch it and go, oh, that's so cool.

You're going to want another one of those.

those.

Just translation.

You sucked in that one.

What if for an ego boost, just every time she was like, perfect.

And you get it back and you're like, fuck.

I don't have any other takes.

Let's talk to Landon.

Yeah.

What do you want to plug, Landon?

My favorite podcasts.

I'm a big podcast guy, Mandog Pod.

It's an improv podcast.

Where do people get that?

Anywhere?

Patreon.com slash Mandog.

Oh, okay.

Or anywhere, but we prefer you go to the main main link.

Right.

Or biggrandewebsite.com, where my friends make the Teacher's Lounge podcast.

Oh, yeah, that's a great show.

Didn't they just put out

a recent season

a couple months ago?

Yeah, very funny.

So go, where do people get that?

BigGrandewebsite.com.

BigGrandewebsite.com.

Yeah, that's a very funny show.

Thank you.

Donna Walkie Talkie.

What do you want to plug?

First, I'd like to plug that I just thought of another model's name, Kaya Gerber.

Hey, Cindy Crawford's daughter.

Kaya Gerber.

You could have said Cindy Crawford.

Shoot!

Shoot!

She's not on the catwalks all that much these days.

Oh, but she's a legend.

She's kind of the model, if you really think about it.

Wow, not top of mind.

There's a podcast I listen to, believe it or not, called Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists.

It is an improvised Hollywood roundtable podcast, but they also talk about other stuff that's relatable, like YouTube and TikTok.

Those worlds as well.

Not just this.

And they're a comedian named Kylie Breakman.

You can follow her.

And she has a character stand-up special on Apple TV and Amazon and some United Flats.

That's it.

Okay, what's that called?

Linda Hollywood's Big Night.

She has pigeonholed herself into something that is not relatable.

Hollywood?

Yeah.

Oh, well, that's all right.

I want to plug, hey, head over to cbbworld.com.

I mentioned it before.

We have every episode of Comedy Bang Bang, including the new ones ad-free.

So all 900 and whatever episodes we've done of this, every live episode we've ever done, hundreds of those, including the tour that we did last year, where we did 40 some odd shows

in four different countries.

And we also have new shows.

We have Scott Hasn't Seen, where we watch movies that I haven't seen before.

Spread the Whisperer and I do that.

We have CBB presents where people from this show have their own shows like Hey Randy and The Batman has a show.

We also have Neighborhood Listen, College Town, so much stuff over there.

And it's someone told me to say this the other day.

They had been hearing me talk about it for years at this point, didn't realize how inexpensive it was.

So they just never got it.

And then they went and checked and was like, oh, it's only this amount of money.

And so now they're very happy.

They want me to tell everyone that it's actually very inexpensive to get.

Go ahead over there to cbbworld.com.

Oh, also, I'm writing the astonishing Spider-Man for Marvel that comes out every week on the Marvel Unlimited app.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

Open the plug bag with me, dude.

Just be be a don't cross it to me, rude.

Open the black bag with me, dude.

Just be a don't cozy to me, rude.

All right, that was Open Oopa Plug Oompa by Jeff Gillowand.

Thanks to Jeff, and I also want to thank our guest, Alan.

Thank you so much.

Great to have you back on.

Thank you very much.

Good luck with TV and movies.

And

maybe this play, too, will go to Broadway soon.

And if it does, I want to hear about it.

And I want to go see this.

I'm heading back to New York, so that's going to be more of an option.

Go check out the, there's a statue of Liberty that you should check out.

It's great.

All right.

I haven't heard of that, but I'll tell you.

Yeah, yeah.

Check it out.

It's very big.

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

I went up in the tippy top of the torch once.

Really?

Yeah.

It was exciting.

It was thrilling.

How cool, I bet.

Yeah.

You can walk right up.

It's like a circular staircase in that.

It's like a long, long line.

Yeah, but it's worth it.

I guess so.

Because I didn't do the line, and now I can't say what you're saying right now.

Yeah.

I don't know what that is.

Check it out.

And Landon.

Yeah.

What else needs to be said, buddy?

Hope you can come back.

Yeah, I know you want to have me back.

I can tell.

I can tell.

You still eating those vitamins?

They were delicious.

I knocked them all down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How are you feeling right now?

I'm pretty healthy.

Yep.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

That's about all there is to say to you.

Yep.

Donna Walkie.

Well, I just want to say apology.

I am sorry to all models.

Just caught a glimpse of my reflection in your perfectly decorated home.

And I am a total hottie, yada, yaddy.

So thank you for all you've done for me.

I apologize for being a biach.

Yeah.

Give Gigi a call.

I will.

You know what I mean?

Apologize to her personally and not on this show.

You don't think she'll hear it?

They're not listening.

Shoot.

Shoot!

We'll see you next time, thanks.

Bye.

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