Wingo Bingo (Nick Kroll, Owen Burke, Hannah Pilkes)

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Speaker 8 Toast may be quicker, but oatmeal is thicker. Either way, why are you eating breakfast when there are so many zombies out in the yard? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 8 That was a catchphrase submission from Wool the Clown. Thank you to Wool the Clown for that catchphrase submission.
I don't know. I don't like it.
It was too hard to say. Now, the hunt continues.

Speaker 8 The hunt continues. But

Speaker 8 this show will also continue, and I'm so happy you're listening to it. My name is Scott Auckerville.
I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. We have an exceptional show.

Speaker 8 A little bit later, we have a grief counselor, and we also have

Speaker 8 an animal.

Speaker 8 hmm i wonder if it's animal from the map

Speaker 8 i love animal yeah you have an animal energy about you thank you oh no i meant uh doctor

Speaker 8 i meant gotzo

Speaker 8 no manzukas has a gonzo energy yeah mainly because of the hair sure there's a lot of hair there yeah uh but i have a different animal

Speaker 8 no you you have an animal energy about you do do i have a doctor teeth energy about me

Speaker 8 i'm just cool yeah you are yeah i honestly that's a fair i think that's a good comp for you people say i'm kermit but i i i take offense because he's such an uptight little you're kermit presenting but in reality you're you're you're doctor you're doctor i'm doctor teeth yeah yeah i know you're doctor tooth oh just one tooth just one tooth okay

Speaker 8 so

Speaker 8 uh all right have you watched the muppets movie have you shown have you have i watched the muppets movie yeah Have you ever seen it? I got to see it.

Speaker 8 This is another conversation.

Speaker 8 We don't have time to do a Nick hasn't seen episode here.

Speaker 8 Let's do that. Yeah.
But let me welcome our guest of honor.

Speaker 8 Eight years ago, a show

Speaker 8 burst onto the scene on a little platform called Netflix that up till then had just been sending DVDs in the mail to people. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 8 this show burst onto the scene and has completed eight incredible seasons. It is concluding its run.

Speaker 8 And what better way to celebrate it than coming on this show with a guy who's never seen it hosting it, and none of the writers nor cast would show up to celebrate?

Speaker 8 I burned so many creative bridges in the process of making this show. And to be here with you, someone who's never seen the show.
Someone who was drawn on the show.

Speaker 8 Someone who believes that he was drawn on the show won't accept Paul. Paul Tompkins and I were drawn on the show and we're not allowed to voice the characters, apparently.

Speaker 8 And specifically not allowed to, not even not cast, but but not allowed to that was the one stipulation

Speaker 8 but someone still someone who looks a lot like uh david caruso while paul f looks like dennis uh franz

Speaker 8 now dennis these are not compliments dennis farini worse

Speaker 8 in any case big mouth is wrapping up its run here on netflix he is here to celebrate it he is making his 48th appearance on comedy bang boom is that for real that is for real holy that is an average of three a year.

Speaker 8 That's fucking. That's what I'm talking about.
Yes. Keep it the original 48.
Who needs

Speaker 8 the

Speaker 8 fucking Canada, you know? You think Canada's the 50th? Right?

Speaker 8 I got it, right? But Big Mouth Season 8 is out now.

Speaker 8 His show that he's producing, Adults, is out

Speaker 8 this week, I believe. And then his film, I Don't Understand You, comes out June 6th.
Please welcome back for his 48th appearance, Nick Kroll. Thank you so much for having me.
Thanks, guys.

Speaker 8 Thank you guys so much. Thanks for having me.
48th appearance. That's crazy.
Isn't it amazing? And, you know, they must have been in the early years because you... It's been a little less frequent.

Speaker 8 A little sparse. I go, hey, I'd love to come in and do a deep dive on Big Mouth.
And then Scott's like,

Speaker 8 yeah, you know, we guys have been so busy at the show. Well, I mean, to be fair,

Speaker 8 this was rescheduled three times, and some of the guests that I originally had could no longer make it. No,

Speaker 8 no,

Speaker 8 I feel like right now, you mentioned those three things.

Speaker 8 Very, incredibly blessed to have all of them coming at once.

Speaker 8 And I made you reschedule me, and I am so grateful. But you're here now.
But I'm here now.

Speaker 8 I'm in the late, it's the late afternoon versus the morning after the premiere.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I'm the premiere of adults, we should mention, which comes out this week. Yes, which I'm very excited about.

Speaker 8 And would it surprise you to learn that I've seen two episodes? There you go.

Speaker 8 I do my research on this show other than watching Big Mouth.

Speaker 8 At this point, it's like, though, you have, let's go through the stats because these were sent to me by Netflix.

Speaker 8 What do we have? We have

Speaker 8 81 episodes. Of Big Mouth and Big Mouth.
20 episodes of Human Resources, which, of course, as you know, intimately, the spin-off, you were

Speaker 8 a major HR hit. All those characters from Big Mouth, they're all over Unhuman Resources.
You get it?

Speaker 8 The cops that are based on you and Paul F have a 12-episode

Speaker 8 only series regulars on the show. Seasons one through seven have included 71 episodes and nearly 2,000 minutes of awkwardness.
Okay. That resulted in over 50 Emmy nominations.

Speaker 8 This show's been nominated for Emmys.

Speaker 8 And you know what the great part is? I personally have never had to deal with that.

Speaker 8 In what way?

Speaker 8 You've never been nominated. I've never been nominated.

Speaker 8 So these are all Emmys that are not for the show, like, because you, because as a producer, or and not for you as a person, I personally as a performer. No, it's for the show itself.

Speaker 8 I guess I was nominated as a, as a creator of the show. Didn't it win one for a show? It's won a couple of Outstanding Animated Program, according to this email I received.
Well, there you go. So

Speaker 8 I don't know if that's true. I don't think that's true.

Speaker 8 Sorry. This series brought home Netflix's first Emmy nomination for Outstanding Animated Program.
There you go. That's what they're looking for.

Speaker 8 To just bring the taste of it that close to an early Netflix. You know, it was a DVD business, and then

Speaker 8 people saw Art.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And of course, it was us and Lily Hammer. It was an animation.

Speaker 8 It was all of DVD, and then they saw all the children masturbating, and they realized they couldn't send it over state lines. Exactly.
And so it had, that's, and that's how streaming started.

Speaker 8 Historing started so people could watch your show and masturbate at home. Stream.
Maya Rudolph, who I'm reading is on this show, won four Emmys for this. Yes.
She's won four Emmys. This has like been

Speaker 8 a real

Speaker 8 boondoggle for her. Really?

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 8 Can you imagine how many Emmys I would have won if I had voiced this policeman character?

Speaker 8 God. I mean, I don't know how you.
I guess they would give you and Paul the Emmys for like the first

Speaker 8 co-emmys best duo. Best duo.

Speaker 8 The artist who drew you guys has won multiple Emmys for

Speaker 8 his adaptation. I would expect nothing less.
Yeah, yeah. David Caruso himself has now won several MEs for it.

Speaker 8 Across its eight seasons, 222 guest stars lent their voices.

Speaker 8 Wow. They could have made that 224.

Speaker 8 Nick Kroll has voiced 81 characters, and that's as many episodes as exist.

Speaker 8 We have one voice, one

Speaker 8 line per episode. Hi, hi.

Speaker 8 Okay, sorry, but you've booked it, Scott.

Speaker 8 I think the show's over.

Speaker 8 The show also featured 74 original songs. Mark Rivers.
You know, Mark Rivers. Yeah, Mark worked with many times on Mr.
Show, the rest.

Speaker 8 Mark Rivers has written almost every single one of the songs on the show. Who wrote the other ones?

Speaker 8 Lynn Manuel Miranda. I don't know if you've heard of him.
Mac.

Speaker 8 Unsuccess. I would call him a

Speaker 8 Rubin Unsuccess.

Speaker 8 He's no Mark Rivers. I mean, I love Lynn.
Yeah, he's no Mark Rivers. That's what I say when I'm talking to either of them.

Speaker 8 And then, oh, a couple songs in the international episode. And then, let's see, yeah,

Speaker 8 Indian writer, performer wrote a song. And then we, I guess, Mark wrote Megan the Stallion.
We had Megan the Stallion do the show, and she did a song that Mark wrote for her. Wow, incredible.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I always thought Mark would write a Megan the Stallion song when he was a young man living in.

Speaker 8 Seasons one through seven each generated over 156 million social impressions. That's a lot of social impressions.
The thing I'm most proud of about the show is the social impressions.

Speaker 8 I don't do like rich little impressions, but I do social impressions. Okay, so just impressions of your friends? Yeah, and that.

Speaker 8 I've created a bot farm that allows the Netflix to believe that there's been social impressions. Oh, good.
Yeah, that's your real business. Sorry, your real business.
I real the money. The bot farm.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 You were very instrumental in the election this year. Yes.
Yeah, yeah. Both of them.
Yeah, fantastic. Both of them.
Very happy with the outcome.

Speaker 8 And from what I'm reading, the season eight premiere campaign has already racked up 24 million plus global impressions fueled by trailers, viral clips, original songs, and fan-first activations.

Speaker 8 Where, you know, the thing I'm beyond the social impressions is the fan-first activations.

Speaker 8 But we did actually send a van around the country with Maury and Connie or the hormone monsters.

Speaker 8 I could explain what the hormone monsters are to you. It might be helpful.

Speaker 8 Just keep going. I can't believe someone listening to like episode 15,000 of Comedy Bangbang.
Like, I can't, I've never heard about this show, Big Mouth. This has been so informative.

Speaker 8 No, it's important you're here because people, you know, people can get really into the first couple of seasons of a show and then just kind of forget it's on and go like, oh, is that, you know, but it's important you've come back to your credit, you have come back, I believe, every year to promote this show.

Speaker 8 And I thank you very much for that.

Speaker 8 I genuinely love this show and I love Big Mouth. I'm always happy to talk about it.
Which do you like better? This show or Big Mouth?

Speaker 8 As far as the money that's been made for me personally, Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bangbang.

Speaker 8 You got sex scale for being on the channel. By the way,

Speaker 8 you're looking at IFC residuals from the show. Oh, they stopped paying residuals, I think, because it's all on the AMC Plus platform.
And which I love?

Speaker 8 Yeah, no longer airing on IFC, apparently, because I haven't seen a residual in many a year. Well, but the streaming residuals are killer these days.

Speaker 8 That's what we struck for.

Speaker 8 That's what we.

Speaker 8 So, no,

Speaker 8 I love talking about the show, and I do think, I really am, I do believe we have ended the show.

Speaker 8 Like, I firmly believe, like, we did a good job of landing the plane successfully for what the show was and where it ends up. Like, I think it will be a gratifying.

Speaker 8 I've read a little bit about the final episode, uh, and I think that the premise of it is indeed something that I think is, uh, uh, would, would satisfy fans of the show, right?

Speaker 8 For those who, you know, you've read ahead, but like, but for, I can explain it, it's like the guy, all the kids go on trial and they're in court, and everybody for the show,

Speaker 8 you know, the guest stars all come in and yeah, exactly. And they all come in, all the previous guest stars from all the, all 222 guest stars, and all 81 of your characters come in and testify.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 It's about a 15-hour episode.

Speaker 8 And it's just a flashback episode.

Speaker 8 It was hard. All the kids end up in jail.
It's good. Yeah.
It's just harder to animate, but ultimately gratifying. Very worthwhile.
All the kids ended up in jail. Yeah, and you've been

Speaker 8 animating by hand for I've been self-drawing. Yeah, I write by, I do it all by hand.
It's all on a legal pad. I do all the animation on a legal pad.
And how do they erase the lines on the legal pad?

Speaker 8 Because I've always had these questions. I don't know.

Speaker 8 I'm not the techie guy. I just do my thing.

Speaker 8 I studied it. I studied under Walt.
How many drawings would you

Speaker 8 how many drawings would you say you have drawn across all eight seasons? Oh, how many drawings have I drawn? Let's see. Each show is is at least 12 frames.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 you know who has drawn a lot of drawings while we are in the room is Gil Ozeri.

Speaker 8 Gil Ozeri, I've never met him. I've never met him.
But interesting guy from what I understand. Yeah.
You know, he

Speaker 8 some he's friends with this guy who's the busiest man in the world. Ed Belanoa.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And probably 800 other I didn't know that they knew each other. Yes, they know each other.
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 Ed can never get back to Gil because he's got too much going on. Right, of course.

Speaker 8 But Gil Ozeri, one of our writers for all eight seasons and does voice on the show, drew some of the most disturbing images in the writer's room throughout that process. And it was a really fun.

Speaker 8 It was a fun time. That's a glimpse behind the scenes.
And so this is the kind of tidbit. This is the kind of thing.

Speaker 8 You allow your writers to draw and like fuck around.

Speaker 8 It's a sandbox. Wow.
You know? It's a drain job. It's a kiddie litter.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I would love to, like, you know, if I had a regular job, like as a plumber or whatever, just sitting around in someone's bathroom drawing, just drawing

Speaker 8 using your own feces to draw the walls. Um, your own feces, yeah, your own.
Why not this guy's?

Speaker 8 Patty Harrison also drew some real special images throughout the run of the show. Did you keep these or did they keep these? Or they're going to be auctioned off here on the Comedy Bang Bang website.

Speaker 8 Okay, it's a silent auction. Wow.

Speaker 8 How do we do a silent auction? You go to my Venmo. Oh, okay.
You just, whatever you

Speaker 8 send to you, that's what. Check out at Hot Dogging.

Speaker 8 And why did you reserve that so long ago? Because I remember when I first met you back in like 2006, when did you move to LA?

Speaker 8 I moved in 2007, but I came probably to do like Death Ray and Bang Bang early, probably like 2005, 2000. 2005, 2006.

Speaker 8 But you were always like, hey, if I ever get a Venmo account, I'm going to be hot dogging.

Speaker 8 I was not on the PayPal Mafia, but I was adjacent. So that when Venmo popped, I had, yes.

Speaker 8 I was adjacent Mansukas. That's a pretty Business on on the show, by the way.
No,

Speaker 8 he's a chef who lives next door. Sure, originally portrayed by Jeffrey Character Readings.
Yes, of course. So this was the PayPal Mafia.
At this point, just a PayPal mob,

Speaker 8 not a full mof. Not a full mafia.
Yeah. They were immigrants.
Yes. And I had been a fan.
Me and Elon had been huge fans of the movie Hot Dog.

Speaker 8 Hot Dog the Movie. Yeah, Hot Dog the Movie.
Because Elon sort of sees the world as like a ski, as like a. A resort, yeah.
Yeah, a ski resort, like a hot 80s sex comedy ski ski resort.

Speaker 8 Yeah, like a Black Diamond, you know,

Speaker 8 someone's gonna go down in the last act. Black Diamond tits

Speaker 8 in the hot tub kind of vibe. And so that's

Speaker 8 an out-cold kind of

Speaker 8 ski school.

Speaker 8 Remember with the guys from Ski School 2 with Bill Dwyer? Of course. Who can forget? Bill Dwyer's star turn in Ski School 2.

Speaker 8 Never lets you forget it. Yeah, one of the

Speaker 8 Carradine brothers. Oh.
Keith David. David, but I might be confusing this, and I am

Speaker 8 with Revenge of the Nerds. Yes.
Right? Well, he definitely is in Revenge of the Nerds. Yes.
He's not in this other one. It's these other guys that are like those guys, but they're not.
Got it.

Speaker 8 Anyway, that's how I got memory lane. At hot dogging on Venmo.
Check me out. Hit me up.

Speaker 8 Send me cash. Now, you and I have known each other for a good two decades.
Wow. And

Speaker 8 you were on the comedy bang bang television show many times, at least once a year. Yes.
And

Speaker 8 yet I'm not on this Big Mail show.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 8 You know what? It was here, and I'll give you the honest reason why I don't, and I think the fans can attest. There's something about the quality of your voice.

Speaker 8 I used to hear that when I was working at DreamWorks.

Speaker 8 Certain people in charge over there used to talk about various stars and go, they don't have a good voice. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Come on, name names. No, I don't want to do that.
I'll tell you during the break. Jack Black.
No, he was. Say his name.
Jack Black. He's like all the kung fu pandas.
He loves it.

Speaker 8 He wanted to do the television show, and they never asked him. Oh, he's got the really, yeah, he said that on the TV show.
So I'm not telling tales out of school.

Speaker 8 He would have done it, and they never asked him to do it. What an idiot.
Who?

Speaker 8 Him?

Speaker 8 He should have just shown up. He just should have shown up and taken it.
It's his. He should have kung fu panded those people.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
He's playing kung fu panda. Why?

Speaker 8 Why can't he be kung fu panda? Exactly. So now big mouth is, of course, ending, and we're giving it a fond farewell here on the show.
But

Speaker 8 Nick is not resting on his laurels. He has the television show Adults, which is coming out on the Effects channel this week.
That is the way you pronounce it. Thank you.
Effects. Effects channel.
And

Speaker 8 I've seen two episodes of this, but I want you to describe to our listeners who were not awarded screeners as I have. Not to brag.
Not a big deal.

Speaker 8 Still hard copy screeners. Yep.

Speaker 8 Netflix sent them, which I thought was very strange. Yeah, it's

Speaker 8 another network.

Speaker 8 But tell our listeners exactly what this show is about. How did you get involved and what is it about?

Speaker 8 I felt myself getting older. And so I tried to, like, as much as I could be a creative vampire

Speaker 8 on younger people. Like a Drake, but for comedy.
Yeah,

Speaker 8 a culture.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. A culture vulture.
Yeah, that's hard to say.

Speaker 8 But you know what's not hard to say is vulture. And if you guys are looking for great pop culture news, go to vulture

Speaker 8 for your Do they do the listicles or is that another place?

Speaker 8 They do, that's Buzzfeed. Buzzfeed.
Oh, yeah, from

Speaker 8 our friend's brother. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 8 Originally from our friend's brother,

Speaker 8 Dave Musk.

Speaker 8 Does he have a brother, Elon? Oh, that he has like 10 brothers. He probably does, and he's making so many kids.
Oh, it's so awesome. Be fruitful and multiply, Elon.
Way to go, man. So, um,

Speaker 8 adults is a show. Uh, Ben Kronigold and Rebecca Shaw created it.

Speaker 8 We started this process like five years ago, and they were like 24. They were writers for Fallon, really funny.

Speaker 8 And they came to me with this idea for a show that was sort of like, we want to make a live-action big mouth for your 20s, like about what the awkwardness and horniness and all the stuff of that era,

Speaker 8 being your early 20s, what it felt like when, and I, and I had very, and it was like, and you were like, great, let's turn it into a cartoon today.

Speaker 8 Yeah, let's do it let's do it as a cartoon we'll I've got the deal yeah we'll put it there I've I get all the points and it'll be great we'll do it I'll do 81 voices I'll do 81 voices they'll be the same voices you've already heard 222 guest stars we'll make sure that Ackerman is not allowed to be on it and that's when they were like let's do it when they got that confirmation and um uh no but it it was it it really made sense and they and they were kind of like in the great vein of like the friends girls those kinds of shows of like what is it like to be in your early 20s and it's set like if the kids, if the girls and girls were living in like Brooklyn and Broad City were there in Brooklyn, now those kids who are like figuring everything out are, have to live in like Deep Queens at like someone's house in like so it's the same show, but they are just living in a different part of the city.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it's a different part of the city. And so that's cool.
That's adults out this week. Yeah.
Don't worry. It's a different part of the city.

Speaker 8 But it's sort of the idea is that thing of like, you have this idea of what your 20s are going to be. You're going to move to New York.

Speaker 8 And then like the reality is you're like living in some one of your friend's parents' house in Deep Queens. And the city, everything feels so far away.

Speaker 8 And it's five people who live together, I believe. Five codependent roommates.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but it's five friends who live together. And

Speaker 8 it really was like they, it's, it's like, it's got hopefully the vibe of like what a friend's feels like, but it's, you know, it's a fact. But it's also filthy.
It's filthy, you know? It's disgusting.

Speaker 8 Thank you from the deep from the demented mind of

Speaker 8 Danny DeVito.

Speaker 8 No, but these characters, they have mouths that are almost potties. Yes, you know what I mean? I do.
Like,

Speaker 8 they don't mind that bathroom type of humor comes out of their mouths. Absolutely.
And they, in fact, it wouldn't surprise me if bathroom materials

Speaker 8 passed in and out. So, yeah, just in and out.
Yeah. These characters are gross.
They're gross. They're demented.
And

Speaker 8 they're having the time of their life. The time of their lives.

Speaker 8 But it is, no, it's the cast is incredibly. We found like five young actors,

Speaker 8 a couple of them have done a couple things, but it's really most of their first things, they're all individually, I think, really funny.

Speaker 8 But collectively, it's like a Voltron of you, and they're also

Speaker 8 put them together. They're over a hundred years old.
Yes.

Speaker 8 If you combine that, and that was the thing,

Speaker 8 we could either, the choice is you could either hire Scott Arkerman to play all five characters. One 100-year-old or five 20-year-olds.

Speaker 8 You chose the 520-year-olds. We chose the 520-year-olds.
All right. But they're all, yeah, collectively funny, and then they're really funny.
I think they have good chemistry together.

Speaker 8 It's pretty, it gets, the show gets,

Speaker 8 I'm really, I'm excited for people to see it. Yeah, coming out this week, a little later in the week.
And that's what I've done.

Speaker 8 That comes out on FX, and then the next day drops, the next morning drops on Hulu. On Hulu.
FX for a while. We know the pipeline of however this works.
This is a savvy audience.

Speaker 8 They're native to the digital landscape, and we meet them where they are.

Speaker 8 But now you're working for Netflix on one project, and of course, we have the other one, the spin-off that I can't remember what it was called. And then you're suddenly working for Disney over here.

Speaker 8 It's an FX channel. What is that like to straddle both worlds? Well, what I'm trying to get is a sort of a threesome, a thruple, where I'm bringing Netflix.
Obviously, I go back with Netflix.

Speaker 8 They're my primary.

Speaker 8 But then I invite FX in, and then we can have a relationship where we all have an open understanding. Does Netflix ever get to leave the room and you still continue with Disney? You know what I mean?

Speaker 8 Or does Netflix always have to be watching? Like, this is what we talk about when we're in Thrupples therapy with FX and Netflix.

Speaker 8 Disney, it's because it's they want to be this is a good adults uh plot line. Yeah, this down true.
Thrupples therapy is thrupples therapy. Are you kidding me? Um, it writes itself.
We did it on AI.

Speaker 8 Good. Yeah.
Oh, by the way, we should mention all of your projects are totally AI now. 100% AI.

Speaker 8 We're using Microsoft's, It's Bing's AI. Oh, good.
Oh, yeah. It has a little MS Paint in there as well.
You would not believe what Clippy has been pitching. Clippy, I love him.

Speaker 8 Well, it's a great show. It's out this week.
I also want to talk about the film, and it is a film, not a movie. Thank you.
I don't understand

Speaker 8 you is the title of it. It is top lined.
by a little man named you and a little man named Andrew Reynolds. Thank you.
Who I believe I've seen at two parties recently. Yes.
He's great at a party.

Speaker 8 He's great on camera.

Speaker 8 He's great on Big Mouth. May have sat

Speaker 8 at my table at a wedding I was at. Okay.

Speaker 8 How was he at the wedding? He was great. Yeah.
Yeah. TT'd him, his husband, and he was on the comedy bang bang TV show a while ago, and I think didn't remember it.

Speaker 8 But he was very funny on it. Who could forget a weird studio in Glendale?

Speaker 8 Hey, don't give away our assassination corporate. Right.
Sorry, of course. What if I still hang out

Speaker 8 in the halls?

Speaker 8 Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 So the guy, I just read this article that the guy who was like, as it said, a deadline article, the architect of the Voigt Hollywood thing, like the John Voigt Hollywood thing, has just invested in Hollywood Studios.

Speaker 8 And I was like, what studio? And then I read the articles, Avenue Six and Van Nuys, which

Speaker 8 has like a half a block fake, the worst New York street I've ever seen.

Speaker 8 We shot a bunch of like very low-end Kroll show sketches in this place. And I was like, oh, I know this place.
This place is a fucking joke of a studio. But hey, they're there now.

Speaker 8 And that's where we're going to be filming everything. Yeah, I'm so excited.
And so I just want to say we're thrilled to be coming in. And John.
And part of the Void Empire.

Speaker 8 And when it comes down to Angelina Jolie or Void, I'm Team Void all the way, baby. Definitely, yeah.
Yeah. And

Speaker 8 just proud of Sly.

Speaker 8 I'm proud of all the ambassadors. Hey, Sly.
Hey, hey.

Speaker 8 Hey, knock, knock.

Speaker 8 Who's there, Sly?

Speaker 8 Who?

Speaker 8 I don't remember now. Hey.
Oh, wait. It's my brother, Frank.

Speaker 8 Hey.

Speaker 8 But is that all we want to say about the film? No, I want to say that the film is a film and not a movie. Thank you.
Good. The film is me and Andrew Randalls.

Speaker 8 We are a married couple, like going on vacation to Italy. We've been trying to adopt a baby together.

Speaker 8 And we're kind of having it.

Speaker 8 We're at a crossroads with a lot of our marriage, and then uh, not like the crossroads that uh, where you play the blues against where Robert Johnson, no, no, no, no, no, no, different crossroads, okay, good, good, no, no, no, no, it's it's a two white gay men in uh Rome and not an old uh black man deciding whether he's going to follow the devil or but you do play the guitar in the film I play the guitar and I made sure to have a double I practiced really hard to make sure that I had a double that would they would never be able to pan because they always want to pan up they want to pan up they want to do the pan they want to do the pan Like, oh, look at that fingerwork.

Speaker 8 And then they pan up, and it's not.

Speaker 8 I wanted to make sure we had that. Yep.
So that got done. No, but the film is, it was interesting.
I just talked to Mark Maron. I don't know if you know Mark.
Wow. Of the WTF podcast.
Yes, I believe.

Speaker 8 WTF. Did you reschedule that one three times or was that blocked in the schedule?

Speaker 8 That one? That one was planned purposefully.

Speaker 8 Purposefully. Purposefully to move you around.

Speaker 8 He, um, But he watched the movie and had the longest,

Speaker 8 not super positive review of it.

Speaker 8 Sounds like the WTF experience. I had a blast, but it was very funny.

Speaker 8 But what was interesting about it was that I think people, you go and you think you're watching this one movie. You're watching kind of a

Speaker 8 fun rom-com

Speaker 8 with me and Andrew. And then a turn happens and it really takes a hard turn.
Right. And it becomes sort of like a...

Speaker 8 A different genre or I mean it's it continues to be funny but it takes like a dark turn that's more of like a farce like a murdery farce did you say farts or farce it's a murdery farts is what I call my farts okay good to know um and this is directed by a couple of gentlemen named uh David Craig and Brian Krano yeah and uh very funny it's sort of loosely based on their life trying to adopt a kid um did they go to Italy too and they went to Italy and had a nightmare vacation in Italy and they sort of combine those experiences.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 yeah, it's, I mean, Randall's is the fucking best. We had a lot of fun together.
I think the movie is really funny. And,

Speaker 8 but it is like, it's interesting trying to understand what an audience will expect in, you know, in this digital streaming. Oh, yeah, that you pioneered.

Speaker 8 That I pioneered by sending child pornography growth daylights.

Speaker 8 Well, that's exciting. That comes out on June 6th, which is about 10 days away or so, 12 days, 13 days away.
The day after my birthday. The day after your birthday, happy birthday.

Speaker 8 How old of a gentleman will you be? Do you mind? 31 years old, 31. Wow.
I'm still 20. I was born in 1996.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, wow. So you were five.
You were five at 9-11. Yeah.
Wow. It was crazy.

Speaker 8 I didn't, I didn't know what was happening. No, but you knew something was happening.
But I knew I loved the tall buildings. Yeah.
I didn't want to see them go down. I know.

Speaker 8 You were looking at your mom and dad are crying in the kitchen. Yeah, and I had one single tear roll down my face.
And it ruined your makeup.

Speaker 8 Five-year-old wearing so much cover-up.

Speaker 8 I don't understand you is out June 6th. Adults is out this Thursday on FX.
FX and Friday on Whole Express. Everybody knows the delivery mechanism.
And Big Mouth is out right now, season eight.

Speaker 8 We're all celebrating it. And it's eight wonderful years that I want to thank you personally for.
Oh, man. To not have you out on the show once has been the experience of a lifetime.

Speaker 8 All right, we need to take a break,

Speaker 8 but we're deep in Nick's 48th appearance here on Comedy Bang Bang. This is exciting.
When we come back, we have a grief counselor. That's exciting, Nick.
You ever spoken to a grief counselor?

Speaker 8 I need to. Okay, yeah, I think I should too.
Big mouth is ending.

Speaker 8 We also have an animal coming up on the show. This is a big show.

Speaker 8 None of the cast. Maya didn't show up.
She won four Emmys.

Speaker 8 She doesn't need to do this.

Speaker 8 Exactly. She'll still win the Emmy this year without being on this show.
Honey, I'm just trying to get a webby numb.

Speaker 8 But this is an exciting show. We're going to come right back with more Nick Kroll, more Comedy bang bang.
We'll be right back after this.

Speaker 8 Hey, this podcast, Comedy Bang Bang, is brought to you by Squarespace. What's Squarespace? I've been talking about them for a decade now.

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Speaker 8 Comedy Bang Bang, we are back. Nick Kroll Kroll is here.
48. Mr.
48, we're going to tall him. Tall him.

Speaker 8 We're going to tall you. You tall me 48.
I'm 48 inches tall. My 48th time on the show.
You might be our 48th president as well. That's the hope.
Yeah. That's the hope.
That'd be great.

Speaker 8 I'm going to love that. Fucking fill out that form.
Well, he's not three years. No, I fucking lost it.
I put it in the backpack and it's the one that we ended up donating.

Speaker 8 Were you born here in the United States? Because you have to be.

Speaker 8 I was born in the first 48. I'll tell you that much.
And are you 35 years old?

Speaker 8 I'm over it. I'm 31.
Fuck.

Speaker 8 This is where lying about your age comes back to bite you in the ass. You can't be president.

Speaker 8 That's the only problem.

Speaker 8 But big mouth season eight out now. Adults out this week.
I don't understand you out the week after that. And then are you taking a little break, a little nappy nap?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I would love to take like a month-long nap and then come up for air. So, oh, so thirsty.
Do you wake up from naps? And I watch sugar so much when I wake up. I don't wake up from naps.

Speaker 8 I'm still in there. That's what I tell my kids every guy.
I don't know if daddy's going to wake up or yes not.

Speaker 8 All right. See you in a bit.
This might be the last time we see you. All right.
Well, kiss daddy good night and goodbye forever. Yeah.
Kiss daddy on the lips.

Speaker 8 Daddy might be gone forever. Give daddy a kiss on the lips.

Speaker 8 Well, this is wonderful. We have to get to our next guest, though.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 he's a grief counselor.

Speaker 8 And I've never spoken to a counselor who specializes in grief. So this will be enlightening.
For me as well. I think so.
Yeah. So let's talk to him.

Speaker 8 Please welcome to the show for the first time, Bait Turfoil.

Speaker 8 Hi.

Speaker 8 Oh. Hi.
How are you? So good. Thanks for having me.
It's great to see you. Hi.
Hi, Bate. Bait Turf Oil.
Bait Turf Oil. Yeah.
Hi. So nice to meet you.
This is Nick Kroll. Hi, Nick.
Hi, Bate.

Speaker 8 How are you? I'm so great. So good to see you.
Good to see you, too. It's great to meet you.
Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Speaker 8 Thanks. It's so awesome to be here.
Yeah, I'd love to hear about

Speaker 8 everything about your, I mean, you as a person, certainly, but your job mainly.

Speaker 8 Because, I mean, as people, we're all basically the same. I've always said that.
That's always, you say it constantly.

Speaker 8 But only our jobs are different. Yes.
You know what I mean? Yes.

Speaker 8 You're comedian. I'm a comedian.

Speaker 8 But Bate.

Speaker 8 Bate is a totally different type of person than us. So I'd love to talk to you about that.
Yeah. I'm not a comedian, but I deal with comedians a lot because a lot of comedians live with grief.

Speaker 8 And that's where a lot of their comedy comes from. You know, this reminded me of when I went to the doctor the other day.
Yeah. And

Speaker 8 I talked to the doctor and I was like, oh, I'm so sad. I'm so depressed.
I can't get over it. And he said, oh, okay.
Well, I have a solution for you.

Speaker 8 I just went to the circus and I saw this clown, Pagliachi. He's so amazing.
Let me give you, you know, you got to go see him.

Speaker 8 And I was like, but doctor, I went to the circus and I saw Pagliachi and he sucked. And then the doctor was like, oh.
uh

Speaker 8 well actually i am pogliachi uh patient and i was like oh i'm sorry i didn't mean to offend you but i just, I wasn't really into your act.

Speaker 8 He's like, well, come back a second time and I'll give you free tickets. Come back a second time.
Like, maybe I had an off night or something like that.

Speaker 8 And so then I went back and I was like, and he was still just like hacky and lame.

Speaker 8 I was just, yeah, I didn't like him. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Wait, was that you doing comedy? No. Oh, I don't think so.
I thought this was a joke that was going to end.

Speaker 8 I have a joke, the first joke I ever told. Do you mind, Bade, if I tell this joke? The first joke you ever told? No.
How old were you when you told this joke? This was an early street joke.

Speaker 8 It was a kid goes to the circus with his dad, and his name is Pagliouchi. No.

Speaker 8 And he goes to the circus, and the spotlight goes round and around.

Speaker 8 Lights go out, and it stops on this kid. And the clown comes up to him, and he goes, excuse me, son, are you a horse's head? And the son says, no.
And the man says, then you must be a horse's ass.

Speaker 8 And the whole crowd laughs. The poor kid is humiliated.

Speaker 8 He spends the next like 30, 40 years just like stuck in this 30 40 years yeah 30 40 years just stuck in this cycle of of self-hate and doubt and he decides finally to go and fix it he goes he goes to um he he studies the roasts he goes to uh bob's college of knowledge uh he does everything he can to like learn how to come back and then he goes back to the circus this is now 30 40 years later and uh the he pays off the light uh the lighting the spotlight guy and the This clown is still there.

Speaker 8 The lights go down. Spotlight goes around.
Did he make sure the clown was still going to be there before he would be

Speaker 8 before he paid for the ticket? Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's a waste of time.
You know, he made sure he was on the bill. Okay, so he goes in, lights go down, spotlight goes around and stops on the man.

Speaker 8 And the clown comes up to him, he's a little older, a little slower. Now he says, 40 years, 40 years, 30, 40 years.
He goes, Excuse me, sir, are you a horse's head? And the man says, no.

Speaker 8 And the clown says, then you must be a horse's ass. And the crowd laughs.
And the man who's been waiting 30, 40 years for this moment to come back,

Speaker 8 studied at Bob's College of Knowledge,

Speaker 8 looks at the clown and goes, Fuck you, clown.

Speaker 8 So anyway,

Speaker 8 that's a joke. Wow.
Yeah, I've heard that before.

Speaker 8 And this is the first joke you ever told to.

Speaker 8 It's the first time I told it to Bate. Oh, well, this is the first time you told this to Bate.
Well, this is, you have such happy lives, you know, to be able to live in this world of fantasy.

Speaker 8 Yeah, people are drawing at his work. Yeah, that's pretty amazing.
People don't draw where I work. People sort of draw from there, the well

Speaker 8 of their pain. Yeah, well, so what happened?

Speaker 8 So a lot of times someone will say, like, give me an example of something that's bothering them, like a death in the family. Yeah, any deaths recently? Yeah, a bunch.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Well, and then I'll be like, I'll listen and then I'll be like, oh, my gosh, that's like terrible. And then they'll be like, yeah, I'll be like,

Speaker 8 and then they'll be like, yeah. And I'm like, it's not good that this happened.
And then we talk about it. And then pretty much, that's pretty much it.
you know do you have any are you accredited

Speaker 8 well you know i have an office that I work out of. I mean, that sounds good enough.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I went to school.

Speaker 8 Where did you go to school? I went to school. I went HVAC.
I went to like an HVAC sort of repair? Yeah. School? Like air conditioning and vacuum and all of that.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 But a lot of people were really depressed who worked there. And I would imagine, God, I'd hate to work there.
I would ask them. I would say, what's wrong?

Speaker 8 And they would be like, oh, going around in the air conditioner all day. Yeah.
They'd be like, I'm so dusty or I get cut or my wife left me. And I'd be like, oh, it's terrible.

Speaker 8 And they'd be like, yeah, it's awful. And I'd be like, so you just had a natural predilection for this.
I can draw the sorrow out of somebody. And then they don't have it anymore.
Is that so?

Speaker 8 All you do is you sort of empathize with their that. Well, it's more than that.
It sounds like that's all I'm doing.

Speaker 8 It kind of does sound like you just go, that, oh, that happened. That sounds terrible.
Well, yeah. I mean, if you get, I'll help you right now if you want to.
Yeah, what's been going on in your life?

Speaker 8 Mental exhaustion? Well,

Speaker 8 I'm a little, I'm mentally exhausted

Speaker 8 from just trying to make sure I can keep you off of my show.

Speaker 8 It's exhausting. Just a general malaise.
Yeah, general. But, well, okay, my grandmother.
That's terrible. My grandmother, it's almost my birthday.

Speaker 8 My grandmother passed away on my birthday five years ago. That's terrible.
Oh,

Speaker 8 thank you.

Speaker 8 Terrible. Yeah.

Speaker 8 What else happened besides that? When was the last time you went swimming in a pool? Oh, I mean, I I went swimming a couple last week.

Speaker 8 That's fun. Yeah, but that's much more fun.
But I have sensitive skin, so my skin turned kind of red. Ew.

Speaker 8 Man,

Speaker 8 hey, do you like spaghetti?

Speaker 8 I do. I like spaghetti, but

Speaker 8 I'm starting to have like a gluten intolerance. There's gluten-free pasta.
You can have that. Okay.
Yeah. But then I still feel kind of bloated after I eat pasta.

Speaker 8 Do you like ice cream?

Speaker 8 I do. Okay.
But I, yeah, I love ice cream. I love chocolate ice cream.
I like to put whipped cream on top of my ice cream. Notice that we're not talking about his grandmother.

Speaker 8 I totally forgot about the whole grandmother thing. You're just talking, you're prattling on about ice cream and what you like on ice cream and stuff.

Speaker 8 That grief is gone. I feel much better.
That's right. I feel like I can finally let go.
Honestly, I would love some ice cream right now. I know.

Speaker 8 Do you have ice cream? I don't have any. Oh, no.
Don't? I don't have any ice cream. Then we don't talk about ice cream for the rest of the day.
I'm sad because I don't have any ice cream. All right.

Speaker 8 So what do you have?

Speaker 8 You have water?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I have water.

Speaker 8 I have ice.

Speaker 8 It's just frozen water. Let's have water.
I have boiling water. God, why am I just saying water things? God.
Well, that's what you have. You have to do what you have.
Work with what you have.

Speaker 8 Work with what you have to do. Ignore the rest.
Okay, yeah, I have water.

Speaker 8 And I'm made up. My body is made up of water.
There you go. 25% of it is.
There you go. You're connecting with yourself this way.
This is what it's all about.

Speaker 8 It's really about saying, what is bothering me? What's upsetting me? Push it to the side. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 8 Push it to the side and just leave it there okay leave it there like a christmas tree on a curb on december 26th leave it there that's too soon

Speaker 8 it's too soon to get rid of your christmas tree nick take a breather on this i'm talking about christmas um i

Speaker 8 i have so many thoughts well i want to talk about that i grew up jewish and it's been really hard for me not to have christmas yeah talk to nick about what did you have I had Hanukkah. Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 8 Eight days. Eight days of Hanukkah.
Eight days. You had eight days.
That's more than Christmas. So you think about that's amazing.

Speaker 8 That's really great, right? Thank you. Now, don't ever say the word Christmas again.
Don't think about Christmas. Scott told me that off

Speaker 8 mic that I wasn't allowed to say that. Yeah, well, you should listen to him.
He's, you know, he's going to take my job. You're a gunning for my job.

Speaker 8 How did you develop these techniques? Because these are revolutionary. Well, I did it a lot by

Speaker 8 butting into people's business.

Speaker 8 That's where I start. I'm like, you seem upset.
Or why do you have that?

Speaker 8 cut on your head or whatever and then they'll be like oh i don't want to talk about it and then i'm like well come on let's talk about it or i'm going to make it up and tell the boss.

Speaker 8 And then they're like, all right, I'll tell you. And then they tell me.
And then I'm like, forget it. Just push it out of your brain.

Speaker 8 And then like, sometimes. Would you ever tell the boss?

Speaker 8 If I didn't like the person, I would. Just because, or if I wanted their parking space.
I saw there's a when we walked into the podcast, I noticed there's an older, older, older man

Speaker 8 outside. in the heat

Speaker 8 on a kind of on a leash. Yes.
Yeah, what is that about? That man,

Speaker 8 he's someone who's working through something, and I'm helping him work through it. He's a patient or a client.
Well, yeah. He is very upset.

Speaker 8 His family left him. His family? His family?

Speaker 8 They collectively left him.

Speaker 8 Usually you get kicked out of the house. Or you left him.
They all collectively left the house. He left the house.
What did they go to an apartment or a different? I mean, they dear johnned him.

Speaker 8 His whole family dear johnny. This is a lot of people to move.
It was like a family of six. He had five kids.
Yeah. Just kicking him out of the house.

Speaker 8 And so they all all left, and he was like so upset about it. And I was like, Know what you got to do? Forget it, forget them.
And so, like, we threw away all the pictures.

Speaker 8 They have, they made their own custom calendar with like every month is a different theme of whatever. Sounds like a lot of ripped it up.
Oh, smart.

Speaker 8 Replaced it with a what the bleep do we know calendar. Yeah, sure.
And I haven't heard of these a what the bleep do we know calendar? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 No, they're great.

Speaker 8 I've never heard of this, but you don't know the what what the bleep do we know know friends

Speaker 8 do we know friends oh it's huge okay have you ever seen that documentary i'll look i'll look into it they're huge huge huge

Speaker 8 and so then and then he's like i'm still thinking of them i'm still thinking of my kids i miss my kids it's my kid's birthday i'm like no who doesn't know about birthdays

Speaker 8 dogs dogs thank you wow dr nick

Speaker 8 dr scott so you so he's now on a leash now he thinks like a dog so i give him like bacon from a butcher I'll just like throw it. Hey, you're treating your dog.
You're treating your well dog.

Speaker 8 They're going to die soon, but you're treating them really well. He's fine.
And I walk him. And if he does die, we don't talk about that because that would be upsetting.
Sure.

Speaker 8 So he's like, oh, I went to the doctor and the doctor says I'm eating too much raw bacon. I say, don't see that doctor anymore.
Yeah, smart. Don't tell anybody that I'm feeding you this.

Speaker 8 And so

Speaker 8 what we do is now he just lived in the moment. He's like hungry, poop, sleep.
Dog.

Speaker 8 Hot, cold.

Speaker 8 and it's i'll tell you something he's thrilled and you sleep him in the in the in a kettle he sleeps in a cage he likes in his kitchen he likes to kill it as a security yeah yeah exactly you know it seems cruel but they they like he does it seems cruel but you know what for him he's fine and he appreciates the color yeah and he said something about you sort of controlling his finances now as well yeah well power of attorney was a phrase that he said dogs don't have bank accounts and they don't their paws this is true i'm not a veterinarian but i've you know a little bit about dog

Speaker 8 you. You have an office.
I have an office, but the dogs, their paws physically can't work an ATM machine. They're too big.
They don't have the dexterity.

Speaker 8 And they don't have fingerprints because they don't have fingerprints. They don't have paw prints.
They don't have fingerprints.

Speaker 8 They don't have, they can't remember their pin.

Speaker 8 So there's a lot of problems for dogs. Like, what's the shortest pin that a dog could remember? Like a dog? Like maybe like two, the number two? I wouldn't even.

Speaker 8 If if you said to a dog like okay number two is your pin number two number two then a dog went up to an atm do you think he would hit number two i can't speak for all dogs but this dog cannot okay and i think it's because and i i actually

Speaker 8 it's like a badge of honor because he's so broken down as a dog that he can't remember anything he knows his name right he knows what's his name now his name

Speaker 8 his name now yeah crunchles crunchels crunchles yeah classic dog name and

Speaker 8 he's Crunchels. And he knows that.
He knows.

Speaker 8 He knows his name. I don't know if he knows it's his name.
He just knows it's a word that you're using as affection when I grab his ears.

Speaker 8 Or he's done, or he's done something wrong. Oh, Crunchels.
Don't you dare get on my bed, Crunchels. And what's going on with Crunchels' anal glands? Because

Speaker 8 we have to express them every once in a while. Yeah.

Speaker 8 You don't have him rub across the floor.

Speaker 8 You have to express them. Sometimes I come home and he's been doing it.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 And it really you have to finish it off yeah it looks like you know what it looks like you know in those hospitals where they have lines on the floor that go in different directions to tell you where it's going that's what it looks like in my house it's really crazy sure but he he's really actually well trained he hates amazon drivers yeah um and but well because he's he barked so he sort of barked to me that to him amazon drivers are his children Yeah, well, he's also upset about the MGM acquisition, right?

Speaker 8 Yeah. The MGM.
Oh, well,

Speaker 8 he's a big bond.

Speaker 8 He was a big bond fan. He's worried that it's going to water down the business.
He's going to water down. Then they're going to do all these spin-offs.
Like, Q is going to have his own crazy.

Speaker 8 Bob Duca would ever come in and say the word barber broccoli over and over. I don't know.
We could try it. We could try it.
I haven't seen it in a while. Yeah, okay.
Let's try it.

Speaker 8 So it's really, you know, so he's happy. He's happy.
You're happy. I'm thrilled.
Yeah, I have no trauma. That was lucky that I was going to be able to do it.
Now, what if he passed?

Speaker 8 Like, it's hard when you lose a dog, like a pet.

Speaker 8 How would you deal with that? Oh,

Speaker 8 I would just push it away.

Speaker 8 i wouldn't think about him ever can i can we try it and try to do like the with the lessons you've taught us let's be like best duo at the emmy yeah best duo at the emmy we'll be co-grief counselor yeah and crunchels has and crunchels has died crunchels has died and you're coming in we have an office by the way we have oh you have an office yeah oh what are you paying per square foot it's a thousand dollars per square foot

Speaker 8 this is a nice office yeah yeah wow do you have a cold brew machine yeah oh no it's such a small office we can only afford two thousand dollars so it's two square feet yeah it's two square feet so we got to hold

Speaker 8 if one of us holds the Nespresso. Yeah.
Well, let's all stand closer together. Okay, here we go.
Okay, yeah. All right.
Let's go. Scrunch in.
Scrunching. All right, here we go.

Speaker 8 What's your problem, sir? Yeah, what's going on? I don't remember.

Speaker 8 Oh, wow. You're already ahead.
You've already

Speaker 8 done. You don't need our help.
Welcome to.

Speaker 8 Welcome. Hey, another job.
Well done. Welcome to professionalist.
We're shaking hands. This is what happens.
I've already forgotten about crunching. I wish more patients would do that.

Speaker 8 Take care of their problem before they come in. I know.
That would be a lot easier. Come having had.

Speaker 8 I tell my patients that all the time. They'll come in, like, oh, my mom just died.
I'm like,

Speaker 8 I don't want to hear because A, I don't want to get depressed. You don't want to get brought down by their bullshit.
I don't want to get depressed. Like, I'm just trying to live my life.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 So if they could just not mention it, then I'm like, then we go right away. Then you're like cooking with gas.
Then you're just like riffing.

Speaker 8 We just go. We hit the ground, run.
The electricity of just like when two people are just riffing with each other. Yeah, it is.
That's what you want in a grief calendar. Health jazz.

Speaker 8 Yeah, exactly yeah so you know and from someone like me who has no trauma nothing nothing has ever happened to you no i mean not can i ask about your background a little bit sure where where did you grow up what were your what was your dad like well i don't know they abandoned me when i was a baby they left me in the woods in the woods in the woods that's a bad place to leave yeah they just like left me there just to be clear they left him in the woods the woody harrelson uh marijuana facility and oh yeah zackwoods lives there too right yeah yes okay and uh bill maher's an investor And they were recently burglared.

Speaker 8 Sorry, go ahead. They were burglared? Yeah.
Oh, they should come see me. They're probably upset about it.
So I was left in the woods, and I was found by some poachers, and they

Speaker 8 kept me there, and they would use me. That's how I got my name, they used me as bait.
As bait for the

Speaker 8 put out into the dirt, and then bears would come and be like, is that alive or dead? And paw me around.

Speaker 8 And these are the turf oils? These are the turf oils. They're French-Canadian.
And

Speaker 8 this is different than turfs. What's that?

Speaker 8 Do you know who J.K. Rowling is? Have you ever heard of that notorious turf? Oh, Beast of Grinwald? Yeah, the Griswolds or whatever.
The Beast of the Griswolds? I'm thinking of the Vacation franchise.

Speaker 8 Oh, I love that. I love Chevy.
What if J.K. Rowling had written vacation? Wouldn't the world be better off?

Speaker 8 I don't know. I don't know.
We'll never know. We'll never know.
And I've already forgotten the question.

Speaker 8 So I was used as bait. It's weird.
I haven't thought about this in a long time.

Speaker 8 I wonder why. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Your face, by the way, is turning red. Yeah.
You're breathing heavy. And you like,

Speaker 8 I think

Speaker 8 you've just tamped all of this down, all of these emotions. Boom.

Speaker 8 Which is not a healthy way.

Speaker 8 They love me. They love me.
And the fact that

Speaker 8 the poachers? The poachers. I provided them with something

Speaker 8 and they love me in return. Like a worm on a hook.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like chum in the sea. And then they love me in return.
And they, you know. Did they raise you, the poachers?

Speaker 8 Well, they raised me in a fact that if I would survive the day being bait, then they would then

Speaker 8 let me sleep that night in the bear carcass. Give me some, yeah, they would like fold me into the intestines or something so I'd stay warm.

Speaker 8 And then next morning I would eat a little, you know, whatever was left over from what they had. A little bear.
A little. And then they would throw me out there.
And

Speaker 8 so they're caging one bear a day? They caught, oh, they were great.

Speaker 8 They caught like one bear. No, they had like six, seven bears a day.

Speaker 8 Oh, man.

Speaker 8 The reason why there's like a black bear endangered species mostly because of my dance. Right.

Speaker 8 And they were a couple. They were not a couple, but I, in my mind, they were a couple.

Speaker 8 And they resented that I kept putting them together because they were very heteronormative and you yeah of course and they were like we're not a couple they're a different generation and i was like dad dad they're like we're not your dad right your dad left you in the woods we're business partners that's right we work at turf oil's bear emporium so yeah anyway this is a story as old as time it's this is what you know what you use what you were sort of brought into and then i take whatever lemons and I turn it into lemony.

Speaker 8 Can I ask a question? Did you ever develop a relationship with any of the bears that you?

Speaker 8 Well, in a way that they would like claw at me and bat me around to see if I was alive or not. Uh-huh.
Yeah. Oh, you were playing dead.
That was your technique? Well, it was that or be destroyed.

Speaker 8 So, yeah, so I would just be like, I would just take it and be like, and sometimes it would like, there was some internal like bruising and stuff. I never saw a doctor,

Speaker 8 but it was. You've never seen a doctor? Well, the turfoils told me not to see a doctor.
Were they Christian scientists? What's going on?

Speaker 8 No, they were like, they didn't want to be like, wait, what are all the bruises on this kid? Oh, yeah. And I understood.
I was like, who wants to fill out all that paperwork?

Speaker 8 You don't want protective services coming down and taking you away from the turfoils.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I feel like that's if you don't use that, that would be a great line for you to use in your grief counseling. Who wants to fill out all that paperwork?

Speaker 8 Yeah, who wants to fill out all that paperwork?

Speaker 8 Yeah. Can I say it one more time?

Speaker 8 Who wants to fill out all that paperwork? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Second take really, Yeah, I really like that. Hey, I know it's too late, but we're about to restart Big Mouth.

Speaker 8 Wait.

Speaker 8 You're about to restart Big Mouth? There's room for one voice. Really? Sort of a Scott Ackerman type.
Oh, I like that.

Speaker 8 Sort of like a Kermit the Frog. Yeah, Kermit presenting.

Speaker 8 The cuck of the Muppets.

Speaker 8 Well, I have to say, I have a pretty busy schedule. Okay.
I'm helping a lot of people. I bet.
There's a lot of grief in this world. A lot of people don't know that.

Speaker 8 There's a lot of grief in this world. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So you're too busy to go star on a cartoon for Netflix? I mean, what do you mean? What is a sag scale? This is sag scale. Oh, is it sex? Animation.
This is most favored nation segment.

Speaker 8 Now, I'm tapped heart lead.

Speaker 8 What were you tapped heartlead for? I was in the rookie that showed the rookie

Speaker 8 by accident.

Speaker 8 By accident. I was crossing Bonnie Bray

Speaker 8 and third. Okay.
And actually

Speaker 8 with chunkles.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I was crossing and I was crossing kind of yellow.

Speaker 8 I shouldn't have done it.

Speaker 8 I don't think that's the bro. They blocked off the street for filming, it sounds like.
Well, I didn't see any of those like any cones or anything. And then I was cones.
Movie sets don't have cones.

Speaker 8 Exactly. I mean,

Speaker 8 maybe they have cones, but when I think of a movie set, I don't just first off think of cones.

Speaker 8 I mean, I think of the cone brothers. Sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Oh, they were great.

Speaker 8 they may they uh so anyway so you just were caught on film i was caught on film cross well they they the car hit chunkles oh which was bad okay and i was like forget it do you remember and you remember this well it did affect me because it hit chunkles right and so that wasn't a trauma or grief for you no because chunkles forgot about it right away so how did you end up on the show because i was like you hit chunkles

Speaker 8 and and then once i saw chunkles is okay and they were like, What could we do? Don't sue us, don't sue us. I was like, Am I in the shot?

Speaker 8 They were like, Yeah, I'm like, Do I get paid as a featured background artist? So, if I'm watching the rookie, whatever episode this is, you are

Speaker 8 episode 19, you are leading a man on a leash, a naked man on a leash, through a scene, a car hits him, and you scream, you hit chunkles.

Speaker 8 And it doesn't have anything to do with the scene that I'm watching. Well, what happens is they cut it off.

Speaker 8 This is the brilliance of the rookie. This is the brilliance of the rookie.
They almost like, this is when art imitates life. They forgot about it.
They forgot about just left. Through editing.

Speaker 8 They cut it out. So all you have is in the scene is me looking like this.
Oh, I see.

Speaker 8 They cut it out of the finish. Like this.

Speaker 8 They kept it. They made the most of it.
And Nathan Fillion has been on Big Mouth a ton. It's a recurring character.
Genuinely.

Speaker 8 Genuinely a recurring character. He plays a lot of cops, I understand.

Speaker 8 So do I. But hey, curb your enthusiasm.

Speaker 8 he he can integrate anything he can bring anything in so they use that moment of of bait i'm sure that when when the car hit chunkles he probably was like i don't know how to handle this i'm just a rookie

Speaker 8 and it just fit i didn't read the script but

Speaker 8 so then to me that's not a traumatic memory that's a great memory because not only did i get taffy i get taffed hardly so that i'm like a must hire which is so fantastic if you live in los angeles it's a great deal so is that going to factor into you restarting big mouth the fact that he's a mustache?

Speaker 8 He is. Baked turf oil.

Speaker 8 Meet Taft Hartley.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 I got lunch.

Speaker 8 Where'd you go to Jones on Third? Where'd you go? Joe's on Third? No, they have catering. How does this story go on? They're catering.
They're catering.

Speaker 8 Because I thought all the germane information, we've already covered it, but

Speaker 8 it's still going on. With what? What did you ask? The story is continuing? Well, you were asking.
No, no, we asked, how did you get Taft Hartley? And I'm telling the story. Okay.

Speaker 8 What left is there to decide? I don't say that. He went to catering.
He went to carbon. He went to catering.
He got roast chicken. Would you get any green sides? What'd you get? I go greens.

Speaker 8 I go protein. You don't go protein.
This doesn't have anything to do with it. You go carbs.
You make a taft heart lead. When you go carbs, you start falling asleep in the afternoon.

Speaker 8 So I just go, I go veggies. Are you just going to continue talking until we get to the current moment? Well, we can't.

Speaker 8 I just want to say, I'm genuinely interested in what you're craft, what you're catering or I appreciate it. Do you do a big piece of cake in a bowl?

Speaker 8 Don't do the cake in a bowl don't do the cake what i do is i get chocolates later i get a sleeve of nut or butters

Speaker 8 and what do you do is you have a nut or butter every 15 minutes and my i lost that way you don't crash yeah i was gonna say i um my three of my uh siblings uh had a peanut allergy and i gave them a sleeve nutter butters and they all passed

Speaker 8 oh that's terrible

Speaker 8 forget it

Speaker 8 what are your siblings names uh jeremy Vanessa, and Dana. All right.
Scratch those names from your memory forever. Okay.
Because it'll only bring you pain if you think about them.

Speaker 8 Can I give them different? Should I give them different names? No, don't. They would never exist.
What if he wants to think about Vanessa Williams, former Miss America, turned penthouse model,

Speaker 8 turned pop star? Then that's the only star of Eraser. That's the only Vanessa

Speaker 8 lot about show business. I know you're a Taft Hartley and you're a must-hire, but

Speaker 8 I'm sorry I watch movies.

Speaker 8 Are you? You have an encyclopedic

Speaker 8 memory for Vanessa Williams movies. I'm not allowed to be sorry.
Oh, I'm so sorry that. I can't be sorry.
Right. Because there's nothing to say.
Can have you ever played the board game, sorry?

Speaker 8 I'm not good with

Speaker 8 dice.

Speaker 8 What do you mean? You just pick them up and you throw them. No.

Speaker 8 What is there to be good with?

Speaker 8 Every time I handle dice,

Speaker 8 we always

Speaker 8 get hurt. You don't remember.
lose one. Bate doesn't remember.
We've met. We've met multiple times.
Bate has cut me out of his memory. What?

Speaker 8 But I know that I was friends with

Speaker 8 the numbers. I'm friends with the turfoils.
And what we would do is we would play dice on Bates' life every night. We would roll dice.

Speaker 8 I don't remember this.

Speaker 8 I don't remember snake eyes. Right.
I don't remember anything. Do you remember where we kept the die?

Speaker 8 I don't remember.

Speaker 8 And I don't remember that I had to take it out to poop.

Speaker 8 Good. So there we are.
Wow. And it was, I don't remember that.
It was a dungeon and dragon style 12-sided die. Yeah.
I don't remember that.

Speaker 8 And then Harmon did a podcast about you. Oh, you're what the Harmon Quest podcast is based on.
Yeah. Oh, Angie Harmon?

Speaker 8 Can you name one Angie Harmon project?

Speaker 8 Yes. And you can't say Eraser if she was in that.
And you can't say Rizzolian Isles.

Speaker 8 Without Rizzolian Isles, she's tough. It's real tough.

Speaker 8 But I think

Speaker 8 you call yourself a fucking grief counselor. I think she sat in for Kelly Rippa once.

Speaker 8 All right, that counts. It counts.
It counts. She sat in for Kelly Rippa.
It counts. All right, great, great, great, great.
Well, bait turfoil, this is a wild story, but we appreciate you coming on.

Speaker 8 Can you stick around because we have to be able to do that? Anywhere to be?

Speaker 8 Yeah. Well, let me just check on Chunkles because he's been in the sun for a while.
Do we have a water? Well, I see him. Yeah, Chunkles is.

Speaker 8 It looks like he's trying to bite through his leg to get out of the leash.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 8 but he'll be fine. All right, well, let's tell you what.
You catch up with Chunkles. We're going to take a break.
When we come back, we have an animal. This is very exciting.
Ooh. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So Bait Turfoil is still going to be here. Nick Kroll is still going to be here.
We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang, bang, after this.

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Speaker 8 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here with Nick Kroll, Big Mouth Season 8 out now, adults out this week. I don't understand you out the week after that.

Speaker 8 Nick, you

Speaker 8 again one of those Hollywood stars, Walk of Fame stars, because of all this action going on?

Speaker 8 You know, I'm trying desperately to get to be one of those because I really think that was what spells success.

Speaker 8 People who are not in LA don't realize how glamorous Hollywood Boulevard is

Speaker 8 gorgeous. It's absolutely gorgeous.
It smells like a million bucks.

Speaker 8 They keep it so clean out there. They keep it so clean and

Speaker 8 it's such a vibrant area. It's such a vibrant part of Los Angeles.

Speaker 8 And so to just be something that Dutch tourists step on or a homeless person

Speaker 8 relieves himself, perhaps, upon.

Speaker 8 And yes, to be any of those things. It's why we get into this.
It's why we get into this is to be a sidewalk. You think they'll ever

Speaker 8 make a little podcasting? You know how when you're on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, like and they have like Stan Laurel and you see like a little

Speaker 8 film reel. Yeah, there'll be a podcast.
Or you see a little microphone for a radio. Like, what would they do for podcasts? Like an iPod? I think it would be hot ears underneath earphones.

Speaker 8 Like red ears. Yes, red ears.
Yeah. And messed up hair for when we have to take the picture afterwards.
Yeah, exactly. So

Speaker 8 I think you would be on that podcast walk of fame. I would love that.

Speaker 8 I'm one of the

Speaker 8 trailers. This is our 17th year.
Holy shit. And this is your 48th appearance.
We also have bait turf oil. And what was going on with

Speaker 8 who is it? Crunchels? Crunchles? Excuse me?

Speaker 8 Oh, Crunchels. Yeah.
Crunchels. Fine.
Yeah, he was biting through his leg.

Speaker 8 But, you know, his teeth aren't strong enough to break the skin. Yeah, that's all.
So it's just a lot of sad bruises. Did you file his teeth down, you were saying?

Speaker 8 He does that a lot by just chewing on this leash a lot. Okay.
But it is a, it really is, he's fine, and I gave him water.

Speaker 8 And you you put cones all over his body, like not only just around his neck, but on everybody he does. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And his penis, I'm seeing

Speaker 8 a penis cone. You know what? I designed this penis cone because they don't make penis cones.
Penis cone, this sounds like a big mouth.

Speaker 8 And this is something that is so helpful for people who can't keep their hands or their mouth, if you have a craft matic bed, off their penises.

Speaker 8 Have you ever squished yourself up in a craft-matic trying to...

Speaker 8 When I was in the hospital, when I was in the hospital

Speaker 8 why'd you hospital before? I don't remember. Okay, but the only thing I remember from the hospital was being able to get into that bed and squish yourself into a

Speaker 8 self-philosophy. We do an episode in Big Mouth Season 8 where there is like Andrew tries to get a bed that is really self-litting.
Art

Speaker 8 imitates. Imitates.
Garfunkel.

Speaker 8 Life.

Speaker 8 Wonderful. Well, we have to get to our our next guest.
Hold on a second. Leonard Nimoy has a star in the Walk of Fame.
I just wanted to say that. Okay, deservedly so.
And

Speaker 8 he's in the

Speaker 8 hand prints in the Grandma's Chinese theater as well. And so is the paw prints of Benji.
Yeah, but does Benji have a star on the Walk of Fame? No, he can't use an ATM.

Speaker 8 Okay, because he can't use an ATM. Yeah.
Couldn't pay the $26,000. Can I ask, is Leonard Nimoy as the Vulcan sign or is it regular hands?

Speaker 8 I don't know.

Speaker 8 We got to go to Manchester. We got to go look.
We got to go to Grandma's Chinese tonight. Road trip.
Road trip. Boys.

Speaker 8 Holiday Road.

Speaker 8 Written by J.K. Rowley.
My Umple Barbadu.

Speaker 8 All right, well, let's get to our next guest.

Speaker 8 This is, I mentioned an animal is going to be on the show, and I was not lying. Please welcome to the show for the first time, a goose.

Speaker 8 Hello, everyone.

Speaker 8 Hello, bait. Hello, Milt.
Hello, Scott. Hi.

Speaker 8 Everyone, get under my bosom, whistle and get bean. You guys cold?

Speaker 8 Sure, yeah. Why not? Yeah, let's do this.

Speaker 8 You guys hungry?

Speaker 8 Are you spitting up some food for us? No, I was just clearing my throat. Oh, okay.
I got snacks in my purse. Oh, okay.
Did you say purse or the other thing? I just have to check. Yeah.
No comment.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 what should I call you? Do you have a name?

Speaker 8 I'm a mother. I'm a goose.
Not mother goose. Not that one.
My name is Pamela. Oh, Pamela.
So nice to meet you, Pamela.

Speaker 8 What's it like being a goose? I've always wondered. Oh, man.
I got a, you know, my wingspan gets a lot of use, right? I travel, I've traveled, I traveled 2,015 miles to come here today. 2,015 miles?

Speaker 8 That's almost the length of the United States. Where are you coming from? Tennessee?

Speaker 8 I'm a Canada goose. Oh, you're a Canada goose?

Speaker 8 I traveled from Quebec. Oh, our friend from the north.
Okay.

Speaker 8 This is a very, and people don't realize this is a very typical Quebec accent.

Speaker 8 Yep. It sounds just like the turf oils.
Yep. Oh, the turf oils were Canadian.
They were French-Canadian, yes.

Speaker 8 And they were not a couple? No, they, believe me, they were not. Okay, yeah.
And they were not. Okay.
Did you guys ever come into contact? A goose and a bait for a bear? Did you ever try to eat me?

Speaker 8 Well, I remember. I thought you were dead, actually, because they were just kind of tossing you around like a hacky sack.
Yeah, it's good to know that you're well. Speaking of Woody Harrelson, yeah.

Speaker 8 Hacky sacks.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 you you flew 2,800 miles to be just to be on comedy band cover? Oh, no. Oh, what are you doing in town? Anybody hungry? I am.
Are you just clearing your throat again?

Speaker 8 Oh, I just sneeze. Twizzler? I would love a Twizzler, please.
Here you go. Are these French-Canadian Twizzlers? These are French-Canadian Twizzlers.
So it's a little different sugar flavor.

Speaker 8 It's a Twistla. It's a Twistla.
And is it a maple sugar? Is it a maple sugar in the Twizzler? And lard.

Speaker 8 I mean, it sounds disgusting, but

Speaker 8 I'm going to tell you that it also tastes disgusting. But there's a secret ingredient because I'm a goose.
What do you think it is? Your shit?

Speaker 8 It's a goosewar. Bingo wingo.

Speaker 8 And mealworm. Bingworm.
Bingo.

Speaker 8 So your shit and mealworm. And so geese say bingo wingo when they.
That's a classic Quebec term. Oh, it's a Quebec, not just exclusive.
Bingo wingo. What is bingo wingo?

Speaker 8 It's like, oh, whoa, you got it. Oh, okay.

Speaker 8 Okay, okay.

Speaker 8 It's like right on the money. It's like wingo bingo, but reversed.
Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, okay, okay.
So, what are you doing in town, if you don't mind me asking? I'm here looking for my son.

Speaker 8 Your son? I'm here looking for my son. Now, this is obviously another goose.
It's another goose. It's a baby goose.
It's a gosling. His name is Ryan.
Oh,

Speaker 8 okay. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 8 you might be thinking of Ryan Gosling, who I'm sure. You know of him? Well, babe, you probably know what projects he's been in.

Speaker 8 Where he was in that movie Drive.

Speaker 8 And he was in that movie, The Nice Guys. What are you talking about? And he was in.
You know what? He gets a special spicy soup at Jitlada when he has a cold.

Speaker 8 Do you know what he was tapped heart lead for? He was tapped heartly for a Nickelodeon show. Oh, you can't do that on television.

Speaker 8 His first role. Masketeer, first.
Wait, is this... Do you know that...
Is your son the actor Ryan Gosling or is he a chicken? He's Ryan the Gosling. I haven't seen him since he left.

Speaker 8 My husband at the time took him to get water, and I never saw him again. Who's your husband now?

Speaker 8 I'm not with anyone. Are you looking?

Speaker 8 Of course, but mostly just for a casual lay.

Speaker 8 And did you see what ended there, lay?

Speaker 8 Excuse me.

Speaker 8 I don't, actually.

Speaker 8 Is that a pun of some sort? Well, Well, because I'm a goose. Okay.
And you lay... Oh, because you lay eggs? Forget it.

Speaker 8 No, I really want to say that. No, it's fine.
No, it's fine, Scott. Forget it.
No, it was very funny. Oh, okay.
I'll take your word for it. It's very funny.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, laying goose eggs is a term, but that's not what's happening here. No, no, no.
No, that's not what's happening here.

Speaker 8 Although you are laying an egg as we speak. I am.
Thank you.

Speaker 8 And when was the last time you saw Ryan? I saw Ryan by the river when my husband took him to get some water. And I had to leave to shake around my tail feather.

Speaker 8 I guess I'm asking for a date more than the details. It was 72.
It was 72. 1972? No, it was 72 out.
Oh, it was 72 hours ago that. I was at the chicken breast

Speaker 8 stripping. Oh.

Speaker 8 Because my husband at the time was a big spender.

Speaker 8 And you needed to earn more money so to afford his lifestyle? Spend more money on strippers?

Speaker 8 I I couldn't meet his needs.

Speaker 8 I didn't know how to blow a kiss.

Speaker 8 Okay, so let me just get this straight. You're a goo.
I didn't know how to're in town in Los Angeles because you had a son. I'm

Speaker 8 a family. He's a god.

Speaker 8 And I flew to the bottom.

Speaker 8 You had a wealthy husband that you were stripping in order to meet his needs because you didn't know how to blow a kiss. He spent all our acorns.
Do I have all his acorns? Do I have this about right?

Speaker 8 No. No, what if please? You haven't brought up the joke that I made about laying.

Speaker 8 You said it was so funny, Skylong.

Speaker 8 Can I ask? Is anyone hungry?

Speaker 8 I would love. Yeah.

Speaker 8 This looks like a Twix, but is it a Twix? That's my esophagus. Oh, okay.
Okay, these are chips. What flavor are these?

Speaker 8 Kettle rum. Kettle rum? Kettle rum.

Speaker 8 It's a very French-Canadian flavor.

Speaker 8 I've heard of kettle one, like vodka. No, this is kettle rum.
Kettle rum. The rum that's been brewed in a kettle.

Speaker 8 You can eat it. It's witches.

Speaker 8 So you are a cedophile. You just made a Star Wars reference.
Oh, did I?

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 Have I seen you in something?

Speaker 8 Have you watched The Rookie?

Speaker 8 Only season seven. Yeah, episode 19.
I'm in it. I'm in it.

Speaker 8 For those of us podcasts, and he's making a face. He's making a surprise face.

Speaker 8 Describe it exactly. So paint a picture.
You're a storyteller. Paint a picture.
I can't. I've already forgotten about it.

Speaker 8 Oh, look, I'm healing every day. The face was like when you wind up a jack-in-the-box and it pops.
Oh, yeah. I think that's for like that Billy Mummy episode of The Twilight.

Speaker 8 I know he was in a few of them, but where he sends someone into the cornfield and you see the bouncing head. Is Billy Mummy the one who's like,

Speaker 8 the guy from My Blue Heaven?

Speaker 8 It's a papo, baby. Are you talking about Steve Martin, the guy from My Blue Heaven?

Speaker 8 No, he's got a small part in that. Oh, no, no.
Twilight guy who's like, hey. I don't believe so.
I think that's an older gentleman. The guy from Pritzy's Honor.
Is that who you're talking about?

Speaker 8 I think so. He looks like a producer.

Speaker 8 Yes. Yeah, he's the producer.
He looks like a mummy

Speaker 8 because he's so old. Yeah.
Billy Mummy was a young kid in the Twilight Zone. Oh, okay.
A toast to failure. Was my son in that?

Speaker 8 Ryan Gosling.

Speaker 8 I mean, we're trying to determine if you're not. We're trying to parse if your son is the famous Hollywood actor, Ryan Goss.

Speaker 8 He's like, sex.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Have you seen La La Land? I'm not familiar.
The big short? Did you see that? I'm not familiar. What about Barbie? I'm not familiar.
What about Lars and the Real Girl? I mostly watch trees.

Speaker 8 Behind the

Speaker 8 pines. What about the.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's trees. That's trees.

Speaker 8 He's. Let me give you some descriptors and you can tell me.
Okay, great.

Speaker 8 Okay, so he's my son.

Speaker 8 He's about the size of a son.

Speaker 8 Okay. Yeah.
Okay, got it. I'm drawing a picture.
Sounds like Ryan Gosling so far.

Speaker 8 He's neither here nor there. Uh-huh.
I mean, it sounds like Ryan Gosling. He's always around, around, and around.

Speaker 8 All right, I'm listening. He's neither silly nor serious.
He's not a silly goose. Thank you.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 This might be Ryan Gosling, the actor. He's, I mean, if it's any consolation, if it is the Ryan Gosling that you're talking about, he's a very successful actor, nominated for an Academy Award,

Speaker 8 I think. Yeah.

Speaker 8 He's got a wife, and so he doesn't talk to me. He does have a wife, Eva Mendez, I believe,

Speaker 8 and children. And he seems very happy and he's very well respected.

Speaker 8 He's never done this show, which is like a plus. Yeah.

Speaker 8 So, just so you know, he's abandoned, he's left you. Right.
He's moved on with his life, but he's doing well.

Speaker 8 Right. You can let him go.
Yeah, you can just forget him.

Speaker 8 It's the easiest thing to do. No, he needs me.
He wants me to sing all the classic bird lullabies. Oh, what are some of the bird lullabies? I'm like a bird.
I only fly away.

Speaker 8 Oh, Nelly Frittata. Freebird.
How's that? Freebird. No, that's it.
You got it. Freebird.

Speaker 8 Freebird.

Speaker 8 Do you know Blackbird? Blackbird.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's it. I mean, that's close, honestly.
If you just stop riding. Oh, the Beatles.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 8 Not for me.

Speaker 8 I don't indulge in music. So beat.
I don't indulge in music. I indulge in the music of the wind.
The seasons changing. Wind chimes.
chimes, yeah. Wind chimes are beautiful.

Speaker 8 Whoa, the things I get tangled in. Oh, you've gotten tangled up in wind chimes.
One time I swallowed a wind chime because I was having a bad dream. This is like the

Speaker 8 six-pack plastic thing, rings around the six-pack for fish, right? Oh, don't bring that up. Not for birds.
That's correct. Wind chimes are

Speaker 8 not. Don't bring that up.

Speaker 8 I just.

Speaker 8 Do you have a bad experience with the

Speaker 8 plastic rings? I don't remember.

Speaker 8 I don't remember. Uh-oh.
Were you, as a baby, were you

Speaker 8 tangled up in one of them? If there was, I don't remember.

Speaker 8 Okay, great. What else is going on?

Speaker 8 Hey, I'm a mother. You can let it out.
Let it out. I don't, there's nothing to let out.
I don't remember anything that happened.

Speaker 8 Can I say, bait, you've never had a mother. And this is Pamela.
Pamela's a goose who is a mother

Speaker 8 who seems to want to find a surrogate son. I could sing you all the songs.
I want to get away.

Speaker 8 I want to fly away. So, not just even bird songs the songs about flying count

Speaker 8 are you allergic to dongs yeah you just hate dongs well he is a dog he's a naked man acting like a dog yeah he has a pet is that okay wherever you live um yeah no problem if you can fit in my nest dogs i just worry don't really say i worry a little bit about exposing a dog or a man that's been convinced that he's a dog to a bird.

Speaker 8 Yeah, dogs primarily, whenever they see birds, they freak out. They chase after them.
Yeah, I mean, I've nearly died from the shih tzu, but

Speaker 8 but is this going to be okay if what's his name? Crunkles? Crunchels. Crunkles?

Speaker 8 Scrunchels? Crunchels. Crunchels, I think, is what we decided on.
It is crunchels. It's crunchels.
It's crunchels. Yeah, of course it is.
It's crunchels. No reason to rewind.
No. It's crunch.

Speaker 8 It's absolutely 100% crunchels. There's no doubt.
It's crunchels. It's crunchels.
But is there a man who's

Speaker 8 doing voiceover work?

Speaker 8 Accidentally, I did once.

Speaker 8 You did.

Speaker 8 Accidentally,

Speaker 8 like in what?

Speaker 8 Well, they were doing a Pringles commercial. And

Speaker 8 like a radio spot for a commercial, for a Pringles. Okay.
You know, Pringles. They're like potato chips, but they have to go.
I know the Pringles. But what are you talking about there?

Speaker 8 They come in a tube.

Speaker 8 I make a really good Pringle. It's lava, barley, wheat, spit,

Speaker 8 milk.

Speaker 8 That sounds like Pringles to me. You don't have any with you, do you? Oh, I do.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 Wow.

Speaker 8 You can really taste the spit. Wow.
I'm glad the mics picked that up, by the way, because that was incredible that I just saw. I know.
I love that you did a flip.

Speaker 8 This way, they were doing a Pringles commercial and you just passed through the studio. Well, yeah, I was making, I was there at the studio.
I just finished a session. A sesh, we call it, but yeah.

Speaker 8 Go ahead. Well, I'm a professional, so I call it a session.
Okay. And then

Speaker 8 someone was really sad because one of their bandmates like OD'd so we forgot about it and helped them forget about it. Now they're in solar order.

Speaker 8 Yeah. No, this was at a different studio.

Speaker 8 And then they were having lunch at this studio at the cafeteria. Yeah.
No, it was like they were having a catered lunch like in the studio. It was a really nice studio.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you were in the birds, right? You were in the original. I'm the original of the band.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Well, yeah. And you were eating at birds? So I ate at birds.
I always get the burger at birds.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I go. Just to be like, you know.
It's the best cheeseburger in L.A. Yeah.
What about La Pubelle? How many times have you been to La Pubelle recently? La Poubelle, I haven't been recently.

Speaker 8 Sorry, I wasn't La Pou Bell. I haven't been recently because.
Are you in the videos they make outside there?

Speaker 8 There's no one I can help there.

Speaker 8 Really, no one.

Speaker 8 They all have their shit together. They all figured it out.
It's amazing. It's like there's.
No grief here. No grief whatsoever.
It's really, I mean, that's why I miss the bourgeois pig.

Speaker 8 I cleaned up at the bourgeois pig. Let me ask you this.
When you're going to birds, are you eating chicken and turkey?

Speaker 8 No, I get the cheeseburger. Always get the burger.
I get the burger. Best cheeseburger.
It's the number one secret in LA. Best cheeseburger in LA is at Birds.

Speaker 8 These are very specific references for that podcast that I've listened to around the world. Randomly.
Okay, brag a lot.

Speaker 8 Randomly, The Hungry Cat, also a fantastic cheeseburger at a fish restaurant called The Hungry Cat. So are you just ordering cheeseburgers every single place you go?

Speaker 8 Well, I'm trying to get my cholesterol up. You are, by the way, we should mention you are approximately 650 pounds.
Approximately I don't like to talk about people's bodies.

Speaker 8 I thought that was germane to what we're talking about. No, it's okay.
It's hard to fit you under my wings. It would be, but I would keep you warm.

Speaker 8 It would, I'm, I'm like, I'm, to be fair, I'm under 650. Yeah.
I'm 649.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I. And you were talking about the movie The Whale during the break, saying that it was aspirational.

Speaker 8 Well, I've always, I've loved him since George of the Jungle. Is my son in the jungle? He worked a lot before that.

Speaker 8 That's not like a brag. I love to since George.

Speaker 8 That was on the when his career was waning. Well, that's when I he came on my radar.
That's when he came on my radar. I don't know what it is.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 8 To be like, I've loved him since George of the Jungle. I mean, yeah, there's a long time in between.

Speaker 8 You can like someone like Bob Dylan after Time Out of Mind and be like, not know that he did anything before that.

Speaker 8 I don't think that that's, I don't think it's possible to like Time Out of Mind without at least having some sort of like if you if you just got

Speaker 8 if you just got like a cdr and it just said time out of mind and you put it on you first of all you would go like oh this is bob dylan from the voice just from like unless you've never heard him before yeah but just from being a person and from like hearing comedians go like

Speaker 8 like you would know it was bob dylan but secondly you wouldn't like it if you weren't like oh this must be bob dylan unless you liked the music

Speaker 8 back me up on this i genuinely don't know anything about bob dylan the geese love geese yeah because he whines like them doesn't because he sounds like a geese amber alert it's like wow wow

Speaker 8 that's a good bob dylan slam yeah it does sound like he sounds like a geese amber alerts right absolutely

Speaker 8 a voice of sand and glue i don't know what you're talking about that's what bowie said uh pamela

Speaker 8 i i

Speaker 8 you know i don't have any advice for you i know you probably didn't come on the show uh looking for advice but but you did get booked. Yeah.
Wait. Wait a minute.

Speaker 8 Somehow you came here to find your son, but you got booked on the podcast. Well, I'm looking for work in order to stay here looking for my son.

Speaker 8 And Nick, I'm curious because you mentioned that there is a Big Mouth reboot.

Speaker 8 Thinking about it. I was thinking about it.
Well, we are doing a new show. The team from Big Mouth is doing a new show called Mating Season about animals living and dating in the woods.

Speaker 8 Now, I saw on this email Netflix sent me that this is going to premiere in 2026. Yes, right?

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 we're trying to get ahead of it.

Speaker 8 Are you going to come back for that?

Speaker 8 Absolutely. Okay, one of the things.
It's a great opportunity to talk about how we didn't cast you

Speaker 8 in that one as well. I'd love for you to get it.

Speaker 8 But we might open up the animatic. We might open up a color to get you.

Speaker 8 Put a goose in this. Put a goose in there.
Put a goose in there.

Speaker 8 Take a chance. Put a goose in there.
Yeah, no, I need no real estate out here. It's so ridiculous.
It's like 100 acorns for two by two, so I need a job. Okay, right, right, right.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 And that's a thousand square foot. I mean, for us, that would be a thousand square foot.

Speaker 8 A hundred acorns.

Speaker 8 One square foot is $1,000 for one third. Yeah, but so 100 acorns is about $1,000.

Speaker 8 Those are expensive acorns.

Speaker 8 And would you be paying me in cash dollars, acorns, worms? I'd be pouring you in loonies. I'd be paying you in Canadian loonies.

Speaker 8 But hey, that's, you know, you might get them and go, this isn't a lot. It's actually worth two foot.
So the transfer is great. Yeah, the transfer.
It's worth twice.

Speaker 8 But don't transfer it at the airport because they'll get you. They'll get you at the airport.

Speaker 8 So you fly, but then you still take commercial airlines.

Speaker 8 I flew Alaska.

Speaker 8 It's a long trip. I flew Alaska.
I had two layovers.

Speaker 8 I layover in Newark, which was

Speaker 8 tough. Really good.
I love it there. Yeah, it's a great town.
It's a great airport, though. Ironic, but it is crazy.
So you don't fly. But you made it sound like you're like, I flew

Speaker 8 2,800 miles. Yeah, I flew 2,800 on points.
Technically,

Speaker 8 you didn't even pay for it. You paid for it with points.
Paid on it with points. Credit card card points or airline points? No, points.
Bugs.

Speaker 8 Bugs. Oh, yeah.
This makes sense. This does make sense.
She paid for airline. Alaska accepts loonies with clash and bug points.

Speaker 8 Well, this all makes sense, Pamela.

Speaker 8 And I wish you luck. But I have to say, we are running out of time, unfortunately, on the show.

Speaker 8 The only thing that we have time for is one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

Speaker 8 Open up the plug bag.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 very abrupt ending. That was Plug Bag by Shoshin.
Thanks to Shoshin for that. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com/slash plugs.

Speaker 8 You'll find everything you need there to make our closing up the plug bag remixes. And also, you can upload your songs there.

Speaker 8 And Nick, you have so much going on. What are we plugging? Plug in adults, big mouth.
I don't understand you.

Speaker 8 Bings AI. Bings AI, yeah.
Yep. And

Speaker 8 human growth hormone. Human growth hormone.
Yeah, you've been on HGH. I've been on HGH for a long time.
Yep, yep, yep. And I've been noticing the difference in you.

Speaker 8 I mean, some people do it naturally, like,

Speaker 8 you know,

Speaker 8 Kamal.

Speaker 8 And you instead have taken the other route. No, I, and you can tell that my energy as the podcast has gone up.
Has really flagged. Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 8 And by the way, acne has broken out just in the hour that you've been here. Yeah, acne's broken out on my ever-expanding brow.

Speaker 8 So anyway,

Speaker 8 check all that out.

Speaker 8 Check all that out.

Speaker 8 And bait turf oil, what do you want to plug?

Speaker 8 I'm going to be staring into the sun on

Speaker 8 Thursday. What's going on with the sun on Thursday? Is there anything in particular?

Speaker 8 I really want to just get my pupils as small as possible.

Speaker 8 I'm trying to to break a Guinness Book World Records. Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 8 Fred Guinness is on the show. He's in charge of the records.
We should hook you guys up. I would love it because it's sort of a side hustle I have is getting into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Speaker 8 Oh, that's awesome. And have you reconnected with your father's

Speaker 8 turfoils? Sure, yeah.

Speaker 8 If you need me to be more specific, yes. The turfoils.
Well, I have also a real father who left me in the woods.

Speaker 8 And a real mother. And a real mother who left me in the woods.
Have you ever tracked them down?

Speaker 8 I know 23andMe me just went bankrupt, but maybe you could get in there before they

Speaker 8 talk about, I just got a text. Whoa.
Whoa.

Speaker 8 Can we act like we're on Love Island? I just got a text. Yes.
I just read it. It says, I got a text from Jack Nicholson, who's listening to this live.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 8 He would like you to know that he and Angelica Houston are your biologists. Oh, my gosh.
Maybe they conceived me during Pritzy's Honor. That would be so cool.
That would be so cool.

Speaker 8 1985's Pritzy's Honor. 1980.
That fits my age. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Perfectly to a T. To a T.
Wow. Wow.
That's amazing. That could be.
Congratulations. Thank you so much.
You're Hollywood royalty. No wonder you're such a Xenophile.
I like the Lakers.

Speaker 8 Is that a good Jack Nicholson impersonation? Hey, it's hereditary. Hey, I like the Lakers.
Got it, Kenya. Fitting image, right? Fitting image.
Wow. And Pamela, what do you want to plug here?

Speaker 8 I will be stripping my bare breasts at Jumbo's Clown Room this week.

Speaker 8 And I'll be up doing videos. You have a good cheeseburger, I've heard.
Yeah, really good cheeseburger. Third best cheeseburger in L.A.
Fantastic tuna mouse. I like it.
Medium overrunny. Oh, and

Speaker 8 an egg. With an egg on top.
My own eggs. One of your own goose eggs on top.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 I have to ask, is this money going to go back to you? Is it going to you? Is it going to go to your ex? Oh, God.

Speaker 8 It's going to go. Oh, God.
It's a toxic loop. You've got to ditch this guy.
You've got to ditch this guy. I will.
I will. I will.
And I just got a text. You had another text?

Speaker 8 It's Michael Bouble is your ex? Oh, I love his Christmas album so much.

Speaker 8 I come immediately when he sings.

Speaker 8 White Christmas, you know what I mean? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Speaker 8 All right. Well, I want to plug.
Head over to cbbworld.com if you want to delve deeper into the world of Comedy Bang Bang. We have every single episode we've ever done ad-free.

Speaker 8 All new episodes ad-free. Every live episode we've ever done, that's over a thousand episodes of Comedy Bang Bang.
Nick has been on 48 of them. Bing bang.

Speaker 8 And we also have new shows like The Neighborhood Listen, College Town, CBB Presents, and Scott Hasn't Seen, where we watch movies that I haven't seen before and talk about them.

Speaker 8 Nick, you got to do that show. The Muppets.
I'll go doing the Muppets. The Muppets movie.
We could do Big Mouth. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I actually, I do want to do an episode where I have the creator of something and we talk about it, even though I haven't seen it. Are you brave enough to do it?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Even though I'll give you my unvarnished opinion on it.
Sure. All right.
Great. All right.
We'll do it. We'll do it.

Speaker 8 And yeah, I want to just plug that. Head over to cbbworld.com and you can get all that stuff over there.
All right. Let's close up the old plug back.

Speaker 8 We all have our backs

Speaker 8 and they need some closing.

Speaker 8 They need some closing.

Speaker 8 They need some closing.

Speaker 8 We all have our

Speaker 8 Oh, that was wonderful. That was Sheboint by a Comedy Ghost in My Sleep by Randy Smith.
Thank you so much, Randy. And, guys, I want to thank you, Nick.

Speaker 8 Always a pleasure to have you on. Thank you, always.
You're one of our oldest and most treasured guests. Thanks for returning.
So many characters that I can't do anymore on this show.

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah, but you have 81 that you do on Big Mouth. Yeah, if I'm going to get paid for it, I'll do it.
And pick out your three episodes.

Speaker 8 When we did the Martin television show, we picked three episodes and watched it. And you had Martin on? No, no, no, we did not, unfortunately.

Speaker 8 But pick three episodes, and we'll do that show.

Speaker 8 And Bay Turfoil.

Speaker 8 So wonderful to have you on. And I hope that, what was his name, Crunchles? Trunkles.
Trunkles.

Speaker 8 It was Trunkles. Right.
I don't remember. It's giving me so much adjectives.
Can I tell you why?

Speaker 8 I looked outside. Trunkles is gone.
He's gone? Yeah, his foot's still there with the leash on the leg. Oh, no.
Well, I'm not going to get into it. I've already forgotten about him.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 8 That's it? Good for you. Yeah.
I'm going to go get a cheeseburger at birds. Yeah, get three.
I like it. Go to birds, go to that other place, and then Jumbo's clown room.

Speaker 8 Do they call them cheeseburgers there?

Speaker 8 Well, that would be misspelling the word.

Speaker 8 You're a stickler for it. Yeah, it's not a bird.
It would be a bad thing. All right, all right, babe.
All right, babe. Go wander off into another episode of television somewhere.

Speaker 8 Oh, Pamela, you're a must-hire now. Oh, yeah.
Oh, Ryan Gosling, Fall Die.

Speaker 8 Fall Guy. The Goose has seen Fall Guy.

Speaker 8 I love that movie. Is it your son? No.

Speaker 8 Okay. All right.
Yeah, he's

Speaker 8 a goose. You understand where the goose is.
Oh, your son is an actual goose. Okay.
Yeah, okay. Well, good luck to you.
I hope you guys. Yeah, this was a waste of my time, but thank you.

Speaker 8 Hey, it was a waste of my time, too.

Speaker 8 And I say that about all of you. I had a great time.
Yep. All right.
We'll see you next time. Thanks.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 15 Hi, I'm Jenny Slate. And believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast.

Speaker 8 I'm Gabe Leidman. I'm Max Silvestri.
And we've been friends for 20 years. And we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives.

Speaker 16 It's called I Need You Guys.

Speaker 8 Should I give my baby fresh vegetables?

Speaker 15 Can I drink the water at the hospital?

Speaker 16 My landlord plays the trombone and I can't ask him to stop.

Speaker 15 You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

Speaker 8 I need you, girl.

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