Be Our Geft (Gareth Reynolds, Carl Tart, Hannah Pilkes)

Boy, Sticker Shock, huh?

You know what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about prices.

They're going up, up, up, up, up.

At the gas pump, the grocery store, rent.

But you know what?

At Metro, they got your back.

They actually have lowered their prices and they're giving you a five-year price guarantee on talk, text, and data.

One line, now 20% lower.

Family plans, also lowered.

Oh, get this.

You get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required, no activation fees.

So stop by your neighborhood Metro store.

Visit metro byt-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers.

Bring your number, not available if currently at T-Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days.

Guarantee covers monthly price of on-network talk text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan.

Exclusions apply.

Details at Metro by T-Mobile.com.

ABC Wednesday, Shifting Gears is back.

It has arisen.

Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

What what?

With a star-studded premiere, including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis, and

Hey, buddy!

A big home improvement reunion.

Welcome.

Oh, boy.

That guy's a tool.

Shifting Gears, Season Premiere Wednesday, 8-7 Central on ABC, and stream on Hulu.

I'm being hunted, most dangerous game style, by character actor Mark Strong.

Please help.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Hmm.

Thank you to Craigie Kay for that catchphrase submission.

Submitted in January of 2023.

Thanks so much for that.

Hope you're still alive.

And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.

We have a fantastic show.

Coming up a little later, we have someone who works in law enforcement.

Always wonderful to talk to someone who works in law enforcement these days.

We also have a girl.

That's going to be really fascinating.

We also have, but this is, I'm bearing the lead, of course, coming up a little later.

We have legendary musician, singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett will be on the show.

That's going to be incredible.

I'm a huge Cheeseburger in Paradise fan, amongst other songs that he has.

Margarita Villa.

I wonder if he does any non-food related songs.

We're so many questions to ask him.

This is going to be a huge honor.

That'll be coming up a little later in the show.

But let's get to our first gift.

You know him.

He's gifted on so many podcasts.

He also hosts his own podcast.

By the way, my name is Scott Auckerman.

I don't know whether I said that or not, but that is my name.

But he is the either host or co-host of three podcasts at this point in time.

I don't know if they're all still an act of concern.

Two are, one maybe not, or three are they're all an active concern i'll figure out the math yeah once once i introduce him um the podcasts in question

are

the dollop

we're here to help and he has a new podcast

uh which we'll be talking about i have guested on this thing we'll talk a little bit about my experience uh this podcast is called next

we have

please welcome to the show for the first time gareth reynolds hi Gareth Reynolds.

Thank you very much.

Yes, exactly.

To stay on the theme.

Thank you, Scott.

Yeah, you were great.

We had a lot of fun when you were on, and

you got a lot of great prizes, which is.

I did, yes.

And we'll talk about that in a second.

But as great a guest as I was, I hope you will also be a great guest on this show.

Well, I won't be as good of a guest as you were, but I will try.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's all I want is your

best, 110%.

Absolutely.

As much as one could give.

Yeah, not even 100%.

I don't want 100%.

It's 10% less than what is possible.

Exactly.

I want 110, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Well, you're doing great so far.

This first part felt pretty good, and I'm excited for this next moment.

We have a wonderful chemistry.

Yeah, there's great banter so far, and I think we should keep it going.

Let's talk about your past, and then we'll talk about your present.

Okay.

I love gifts.

But you started in this podcast game.

And look, on Comedy Bang Bang, we love having podcasters, fellow podcasters on this show.

Oh, my God, the fans are so excited.

No,

they open up the podcast app and they say, a fellow podcaster is in A-Block.

Well, yeah.

It's a very exciting time.

You get some big names in the entertainment industry, and that's cool.

But wouldn't you rather see someone you've seen in this role do it on something that is very similar to how they've already done it?

I am so used to seeing you with headphones wrapped around your ears.

I don't know what it would look like if you were to actually act in something, so who needs it?

Yeah.

Why transfer your talents to this

big or small screen?

Look, I left the Hollywood game a while ago.

I won't do that.

Good.

Unless offered, then I will jump at the chance.

But as far as, you know, really being invited to anything, that doesn't happen.

So it's headphones for me.

Headphones for you.

And you started out, how many years ago did the dollops start out?

Well, we just did our 700th episode, which isn't an answer.

No, it's not.

That's not an answer to your question.

It seems like you're being evasive, and I can't quite pinpoint why.

I'm giving it 110%, and I want to point that out.

About 11 years ago.

11 years ago.

Now, this is a show, by your own admission.

We talked about it on a previous episode of my other show, Scott Hasn't Seen,

where a gentleman by the name of Dave Anthony,

person I've known for a long time,

tells you about things in history.

Correct.

And then you say, what?

Well,

you're having fun.

And I do a lot of times go, wait, what?

And then I'll do an accent.

So I want to say

which accent is one of the ones you still could do or one of the ones you're not supposed to do.

No, it's become very limited because my skill set was in areas where I can't do it anymore.

And again, I've apologized for that.

This was 700 episodes ago.

Your notes app is filled with apologies.

God, and I mean them all.

I'm very sorry.

But yeah, no, my role is very much to go, that didn't happen.

Really?

Did you ever say that didn't happen?

And he goes, Yeah, you're right.

I was just making this up.

I don't think that has happened.

Then why say it?

Yeah, I don't.

Well, it's just one of the, it's like I'm, you know, those keychains that used to have like catch for you'd hit a keychain and it'd be like, it'd make a sound effect.

That's me on a podcast.

I just have my few things to say.

Okay, well, I'd like to hear you try it with me sometime.

Sure.

Yeah, yeah.

So you've been doing the doll-up for 11 years.

Wait, what?

Seriously?

Yeah, okay.

Try,

yeah.

I mean, it's

you're great at it.

You're one of the best at this.

Wait, really?

You know how in comedy there's

straight man, and I guess

is there a name for the opposite of straight man?

Funny guy?

I used to do the accent, and I won't anymore.

Yes, but is there a term for what you do like in comedy?

The guy who goes, huh, what?

Lucky,

the non-worker, the one who sits there and just shows up.

What a fun show.

You must, do you retain any of the knowledge or does it just slip out of your brain the second that the podcast ends?

A lot of it leaves,

but then there are the ones that stick with you that are, you know, like there was the guy who started the lobotomy and he became like a showman.

He started it.

He's a doctor operating on someone or yeah, he, yeah, he, it wasn't too long ago.

I think it was in the 1900s at one point but he he you know he came up with the technology oh he created the lobotomy yes i see i thought you were just saying he started a lobotomy and i was waiting for the other half no so he started the a lobotomy and then he was a showman well that's when i jump in wait what

uh no but he invented the lobotomy and uh and then he started to do multiple this is one of our great scientists this guy's amazing this guy basically he figured like if i take out the brain then uh yeah if you people won't think anymore.

Well, and I think there's somewhere if you cut the lobe, nothing happens, which is my favorite one, the one who's like, oh, no.

Pray little balls, cut the lobe.

Wait, what?

No.

And he, but then he started, like, making it a show.

So he would, like, come down to town and he would get five people up on stage and he would kind of ice pick multiple lobes.

And then he started driving around in a car called the lobotomobile.

Wait, and these were people where he found out if you cut the lobe, nothing would happen.

So he would either.

No, no, these

were people that they wanted lobotomized.

Yes, it's a roll of the dice.

When you hear he's coming to town, like I would go on vacation.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't.

Just in case anyone is like, hey, we got a volunteer over here.

Yeah, it's a little like Gallagher.

You're just like, don't put me in the front.

I don't like crowd work.

No, and then so he became, so stuff like that.

So the lobotomobile, you're saying?

Yeah, he drove, he had a cape and a cane, and he drove.

He like started to feel himself a lot.

He started to be like, I'm good.

Like, I'm the man.

And then, you know, eventually people were like, you know, like everything.

They were like, wait, what have we been doing for the past 15 years?

This is insane.

Why did we like any of this?

Yeah.

All he's doing is like stabbing someone with an ice pick.

Yeah.

And then you have relatives who are like, well, they're catatonic now.

And that guy, you know, he'd made his Macmillan, so he was sort of off.

Did he, did, was he promising like, oh, I'll be able to fix this afterwards?

And then

the curtain goes down for act one.

He goes, I'll be back.

In act two to fix everyone.

Then he just skips down.

Car start.

I love your sound effects, by the the way.

Oh, the start.

Car start.

Well, again, it's not.

Again, I don't want to say I'm just reactive.

I do a lot of sound effects for car starting, man driving away.

Okay, yeah, let's hear water dripping.

Water is dripping.

Really good.

In a cup.

We got to get a record going.

Paul F.

Tompkins and I have been working on our sound effects record for, we're up to track 14, I think.

I think it would sound a little like this.

Scott Argument, Paul F.

Tompkins, sound effects record.

It's not bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Something to think about.

So you, so that's stuck in your head.

Yeah.

And why is that?

Because you are, are you afraid of being lobotomized?

It's a fear.

Yeah, now that we're talking about it, it's a fear.

It's on there.

There's a lot of fears.

But yeah, I wouldn't like that one.

I think that one, I don't think I could give 110% if I had that lobe.

You know what I wonder about?

They say evolution is real, right?

The whole Charlie Darwin.

And yet we have to buy helmets when we ride skateboards.

It's like, hey, let's make the skull the helmet.

You know what I I mean?

I do think God gave us all a helmet.

But God didn't create skateboards, probably.

The devil created skateboards.

And God's like, look, I gave you a skull so that it would protect you for anything that's not moving as fast as a skateboard.

And then little old Lou Cipher, if you know what I mean, is sitting there going,

I created a skateboard for you.

Wait, what?

Yeah, I think, well, I think that's the skateboard.

If you fall, that's God's way of saying, you know, we're good.

Yeah, like Acarus, you've flown too close to the sun or too fast on your board.

Yeah, so it's your time.

And so.

Do you know any skateboard tricks?

Oh, yeah.

How many?

I know

offhand,

or if I had time to do a podcast about it and come back.

I kind of wish you had prepared

this question, but okay, yeah, how many?

Four.

Four?

Three that I'll talk about.

Okay, great.

The Ollie.

Classic.

That's a big.

I want to.

who's that named after that's named after john ollie is it really oh really not oliver north

who just got married congratulations oliver north friend of getting married to fawn hall and finally these two friendish get together

um but uh so the ollie what uh what else do you do the 720 the 720 that's a lot yeah that's two in two complete turns that's right wow yeah okay not to be mistaken with the 180 sure which a lot of that one i i do that one too.

So those are the three?

Yep.

Yep.

So there you go.

And there's a lot of people.

You don't do a 360?

Is that a move?

I've never heard of that one.

It seems to me like if you do a 180 and you do a 720,

360 would be natural.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I guess if you're accidentally messing up a 720, you maybe do a 360, but that's not one of the ones that I've...

Okay.

Yeah, no, the Ollie's.

Can we talk off air about the one that you don't want to?

Yeah, as long as we outside, we can.

I'll have the headphones on, but let's do it off the mic.

Listeners, promise not to listen.

Yeah, okay.

All right, let's go outside.

All right.

Screen.

Oh, you got a beautiful yard out here.

Isn't it nice?

This is really nice.

You got to come by more often.

I would really love to.

I didn't want to

see each other socially sometimes.

Do you mean that?

Yeah, I truly do.

I would really like to do that.

Yeah, in a social setting.

Yes, yes.

You know, maybe some alcohol.

I agree.

I agree.

And then maybe Sunscreen.

So I would love to.

I have to.

I have to wear some.

Of course.

Yeah.

That's not enough.

It's a fair gentleman.

Well, I mean, I.

Tough, but fair.

Well, wait, what?

No, I'm kidding.

I know what I'm recording.

No, I really am.

I burn pretty badly.

Yeah.

And it's a real problem because a lot of

history in my family of.

What's your other trick?

My other trick.

Oh.

Tell me, motherfucker.

Jesus Christ, Scott.

What are you doing?

I thought you said we were going to hang out socially.

Yeah, we'll do that if you tell me.

A skateboard?

A trick?

Yeah.

I didn't even know you really wanted one.

I thought you just wanted wanted to get out of here.

Did you?

Okay, okay about the trick?

No.

You actually do a fourth one.

Yes.

What is it?

All right.

But remember, it's not a lie.

Okay.

The blimp.

I do a blimp.

What is a blimp?

That's where I get so high up, I inflate.

And I float for a little while, and then I come back down.

That sounds freaking cool.

Well, you see why I didn't want to talk about it in there?

That sounds cool as hell.

Oh,

look, look.

Do you want to do it?

Do it right here.

Well, do you have a board?

Oh, yeah, here it is.

Oh, wow.

Wow, man.

I wish I could do sound effects like that real sound.

Yeah.

Okay, and then, oh, here's your ramp right here.

Hey, who built this?

Oh, George Ramp.

Oh, he's the inventor.

Yeah, the inventor of the ramp.

Yeah, okay, all right.

This is one of the original ones.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's kind of from the 1920s.

It's got a lot of splinters coming out of it.

Yeah.

Well, watch out for those.

Yeah, okay.

Well, I'm not going to need it if I do the blimp.

Oh, of course not.

I might be gone for a minute.

All right, you sat up there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been taking all this time to climb up to the top of the ramp.

I understand.

I just want to.

We really should socially do something.

I just want to circle back.

Let's put it in the books.

Let's pencil it in.

Great, great.

All right, great.

Or a pen, erasable pen.

Those never fully erase.

Didn't you ever find that?

I always found like there was the ghost of the pen.

I know.

Why did they even...

even well?

They were trying to show us that the tech was there.

It wasn't there.

That was the last pen invention or penvention.

I was going to say penvention.

You know.

Or invention pen.

Because that was like in the 80s, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Like, hey, we got this new pen thing.

Hey.

And then

nothing since then.

Well, they were chastised so much for what they lied.

I mean, it was big pen.

They lied.

Lying, obviously.

Yeah.

Everyone bought one.

Oh, yeah, cool.

Well, you could only buy 10.

I mean, that was

you could only buy them in bulk.

I know.

Yeah.

All right.

right, you ready for this trick?

I've really enjoyed this chat outside, but yeah, here I am.

Here we go.

All right, ready?

Yeah.

Do you want me to do that too?

Yeah.

God damn it.

I'm so mad at my dad.

All right, here we go.

Okay.

One,

two,

three.

Oh my God, he's doing it.

I wish you could see this.

He's doing it.

He's inflated.

He's floating up into the air.

He's going so high.

Oh, no.

He's going too high.

He's going up towards the sun.

He's never going to be able to breathe in the atmosphere.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Let me get my shotgun.

Let me get my shotgun.

Here, Gareth, Gareth.

I'll shoot you down.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

That was incredible.

I just think I was trying to wow you so much I...

You inflated too much.

I know, you shot me.

Yeah, are you okay?

Yeah, because it's just in a part that was full of air.

Oh, thank God.

It just went right through you.

Yeah, it went right through me.

Oh, that's so good.

Here, here's a band-aid.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, God.

Okay.

I'll tell you what, let's go back inside.

Yeah, I feel bad.

Start doing the podcast.

Yeah, okay, okay.

I really want to do that social thing, though.

Oh.

Hey, welcome back.

All right.

Mum's the word on that one, my guy.

I will not be telling anyone about that.

Nor should you.

So now, let's hear about your other shows.

Of course, we are here to help.

Yes.

Has been going for how long now?

Two years.

Two years.

What does this show describe it first?

It's a call-in advice show I do with a friend of mine, Jake Johnson, and we have people falling with small problems.

And this is a massive, massive success, is it not?

I don't know.

It seems to be doing well, yeah.

But, you know, we're not very good at solving the problems, but we sure do try.

Yeah, why would anyone want advice from you?

Yeah, I think that's a really fair point.

I mean, there's an edge to it, which I don't love, but yes, it's a very fair point.

Why would they?

And, you know, sometimes we help, sometimes we don't.

And I've heard this show is just the listenership is through the roof.

Oh,

you guys are doing great.

The numbers are

like one, two, three, four, five, six,

way higher than that.

So much after that.

Yeah, yeah.

You shouldn't have even started.

There it goes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll start at 10, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.

I would think you could go way.

Yeah, exactly.

Just even more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

20, 20, 21, 22, 23.

We don't need to count it but i think you would be wise to start at a bigger the numbers are huge on this thank you and now you have a new program

thank you next

we have thank you next we have now describe next we have i know all about it I was on the GD thing.

Yeah.

But tell our dumb shit listeners who don't know anything about this show.

Right.

They're sitting there going like, oh, I have no idea what this show is.

I'd like to court them a little bit.

So I don't know if I want to frame them like that.

I mean, I think they're

sick of them.

Well, I just, I wouldn't say that.

I really, as someone who has four or five people.

I think has the dumbest listeners.

No, no, Scott, Scott, Scott, maybe we should go.

Beat them.

Scott, let's go outside real quick.

Okay, really?

Yeah.

Hey, look, I know you've been doing this for a while, but I wouldn't talk about your listeners like that.

That seems

like they're just, they're so on my nerves.

I know, but you got to hide that.

Really?

Yeah, of course.

You're a professional podcast.

You're hide podcasts.

Look, I'm sick of everyone who listens to my stuff.

I understand.

I hate my fans.

I hate my fans.

Do you hate your, who do you hate more?

Your fans or your family?

I, oh my God.

Because it's a dead heat for me.

Yeah, I'm furious at my family.

Yeah.

But I really hate my fans.

I know the fans, but I'm so sick of them.

But the point is that you lie about how much you like them.

Like, that's what I do.

I always go to the house.

Oh, I appreciate it.

Yeah.

I mean, he's a sort of George Washington type.

Well, he, I believe, was a pretty bad guy.

He had a weight what.

I remember hearing about him once and doing a wait what?

I really do.

I think wait what the whole wooden tee thing, if you really investigate that,

now it's even worse.

Not a really good thing.

All right, I'm an Abe Lincoln guy.

Yeah, okay, I cannot tell a lie.

Yeah.

Isn't that how weird two presidents couldn't lie?

I mean, imagine those days.

You know,

that's so funny.

Imagine when a president couldn't lie.

That is really good.

Yeah.

That's gorgeous.

Yeah.

I got to remember that.

Okay, yeah, remember that.

But okay, let's go back in.

Let's do it.

And maybe, maybe when we get back in there, just say something nice about the phone.

Okay.

All right.

Let's go.

Oh, gosh.

You okay?

Oh, my God.

What is that?

Oh, my God.

That's a fucking.

What was that?

Sword?

I fell on my sword.

I didn't know you had a sword.

Why do you give me a sword?

Often said I'm figuratively going to fall on my sword.

Yeah, but then.

To literally fall on my sword?

What are you

doing?

I'm sticking on my back.

Here, here, here.

I got a band-aid on my side from when you shot me.

Here, let me put that on there.

Oh,

way better.

Okay, all right.

right all right okay

uh anyway comedy bang bang has the greatest listeners in the world i've met a few of them i love them i love them so much and i want you to tell them what is this show next we have well i love my fans too a lot and my family um but i will say this show is it's geared towards the shorter attention span which i've just sort of what'd you say i'm joking of course i'm paying attention do you remember what i just said uh

it's geared towards the shorter attention span is what i said i'm kind of waiting just for you to stop talking okay hold on.

Let me just get through this.

This is the important part.

But it's basically a lot of games with guests.

We have fun, short segments.

My mother appears on it a lot.

You know how it is.

We're all reacting to things.

We involve the people who work on the show.

It's very much like a fun little family.

If I can take over for you, because that's really fucking terrible.

Your show is, it's like a variety show.

It is.

Very much so.

There's games, there's little segments, some interviews with people who are interesting, but it's really, it's quick.

15, 20 minutes segments.

Everything is really quick.

When I came on, we played a fun game, which was guessing how much your producer, I believe, went to a swap meet, and we were supposed to guess the items that he purchased, how much he paid for them.

Yes.

And unfortunately, we didn't know that he was a psychopath and that he would pay top dollar for whatever they asked.

Yes.

So, so

he didn't haggle?

No.

And they were onto him by the end of it because they just kept upping the prices to everything.

Well, they were probably.

This motherfucker will pay anything.

They're probably on a group text going like, this guy's awesome.

Get him over to your booth as soon as possible.

He's buying everything.

So now everything that I won, the first thing I won was a novelization of a movie.

Water World.

Water World.

That's right.

And now our good friend Adam Scott,

who, by the way, on our bonus bang series, we've been doing our series Great Scott, which is all Adam Scott episodes.

So he's a great friend of ours and of mine.

He collects these things, these novelizations of movies.

Yes.

And so I said, that was the first thing that I won.

And I said, oh, I'm going to give this to Adam.

And then you ended up giving me all the prizes, about 11 things.

Yeah, you won a lot of them, but yeah, I did donate whatever.

I donated all of the rest of them.

So I had like 11 things, including a very large pot of some sort that no one could figure out what it was.

We couldn't really figure out what the point was, but it was $40 or something.

For him, it was.

For the rest of us, it would be two.

And I promised you that I would get Adam Scott to hold all of these items.

Yes.

And I did.

Well, I said to you as soon as we were done, you don't need to do that.

And you said, oh, no.

Oh, no.

I'm seeing him tomorrow.

This is happening.

I'm going to give them to him, and I'll get you a picture of him holding all of them.

And you did deliver them.

Which I did deliver.

And we can put that photo up on our page as well.

Yeah.

As well as I'm sure it's

your landing page page of your website.

No, it's everything.

It's by far the biggest thing that's happening.

Adam Scott says, thanks for all the gifts.

Yeah, well, it was corroborating evidence that we have star power.

That's right.

And no, but he looked really happy.

I haven't actually heard the behind the scenes of the picture, but he looked real happy.

He was so happy.

Oh, he was thrilled.

He was holding 24 pounds worth of junk.

First, I gave him the book and he was thrilled.

And then I said, you also have to hold all of this.

And

he went, why?

I said, I could could tell you, or you could just do it.

Or we can hang out and get this out of the way.

And he just did it.

It was a great picture.

So check out that picture.

But this is what Next We Have is all about.

It's about friends and colleagues having fun, doing these,

riffing on these little things, these little games and these little segments.

It's a fun show.

Yes.

And when, you know, when the producer goes back to the flea market or wherever he was, we would love to have you back to play another round.

I would love to come back.

It was great.

It was really, really fun to do.

So Gareth Reynolds is here.

Next, we have Out Weekly.

Yep.

As well as your other two shows, which have a more sporadic release date.

They're weekly.

They're weekly as well.

Oh, yeah.

It's a whole week.

So three a week.

You're a three a week guy.

It's a whole nightmare.

All right.

Fantastic.

All right.

Well, we have to get to our next guest.

Speaking of fast-paced, you know what I mean?

Are you saying that you're moving on for me quickly?

Is that what you're saying?

No, I'm just saying like you do a fast-paced show.

I do a fast-paced show.

But sometimes I feel, if I may right.

Two fast-paced shows.

I know.

I love that.

But sometimes I feel like when you have a non-podcasting guest,

this part maybe goes longer might be a little longer.

The A slot goes a little longer.

Do you find that?

How interesting.

I haven't run the numbers necessarily, but I got to put that through the calculator or whatever.

Let me know when we hang out.

You can kind of

pronounce or however you're going to do that.

Definitely going to do that.

Let's go to our next guest.

She's in law enforcement.

She's an old friend of the show.

We've talked to her many times.

Please welcome back to the show, Chief.

From the Isle of the Balkans.

Scott, I bid you adieu.

Now, is that the adieu of hello or goodbye?

Both.

Oh, okay.

I simply must leave.

Oh, no, please, Chief.

You just got here.

Please.

You want to go at least one minute longer than Gareth.

That was one of the longest A segments I've ever heard.

So you've been tracking these.

Okay.

Much like you've been tracking

whom.

Well, a certain suspect.

Whomst.

A culprit.

Whomst Scott.

Well, say the name.

Say her name.

What is her name?

I don't even remember what it is.

Carmen Sandiego.

Right, right, right, right, right.

Carmen San Diego.

Who's accused of what?

That swashbuckling swing bat.

Now, you've been chasing Carmen San Diego.

All over the world.

And

she has been stealing the world's biggest and most prized artifacts.

I mean, yeah, the biggest ones are usually the most prized.

Exactly, Scott.

You hit it on the nose.

I'm stuffed with Balkan breakfast.

Have you ever had Balkan breakfast, Scott?

I don't know exactly what the qualities of a Balkan breakfast are.

Peppers.

Salt.

Just peppers and salt.

That sounds disgusting, actually.

Cheese.

I mean.

Bread.

Hard bread.

Is the cheese just

so hot, but the peppers.

What?

Nothing.

Why were you in the Balkans if you don't?

Searching for Carmen San Diego.

Was she spotted there?

That damn blind puller.

She's a blind puller?

What does that mean exactly?

I don't have time to explain, Scott.

I am on the case.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to distract you.

By the way, this is Gareth over here.

Hello, Gareth.

Hello.

Greetings, Gumshoe.

Oh.

Yeah, well, greetings to you.

Yeah,

what a lovely breakfast it sounds like you have.

A Balkan breakfast?

Yeah.

Let's go through it.

No, no, no.

I was going to say

hard bread.

Yeah, yeah.

Cheese.

Yeah, yeah.

Fresh tomatoes.

Oh, no.

Tomatoes, you didn't bring up the tomatoes.

Cheese.

The more things you say, the better this sounds.

And you rip the tomato with your hands.

What?

As the Balkans do.

Oh.

Your bare hands or

bare hands and a pair of bare hands.

May I?

You mean you're wearing a pair of bare gloves?

Yes, you may.

Okay.

Okay.

That's fair.

Made it clear.

But you're not going to.

Okay.

Well, we can move on.

You may have seen Chief.

You had a television show where you were chasing Carmen Siegie.

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

It ran on public television.

No, I didn't.

Which Scott's president is taking away.

Oh, boy.

I'm so sorry, yeah, for your loss.

Is that why you don't have a show anymore?

I mean, we haven't seen you around in a while.

They told me in 1994 that 30 years later, they would be canceling the corporation for public broadcasting and viewers like you.

Did you ever get one of those tote bags?

I never received a tote bag.

That tote bag was $78,000.

That is the donation you would have to give in order to receive a tote bag.

Would you get one of those like opera video cassettes or something like that?

I got singing the 50s.

Duke of Earl.

Who was singing the 50s?

The original artist?

The original artist.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

If you're going to hear anyone sing the 50s, you wanted to be the original artist.

The original artist.

Or at least Sean Anna.

They're very young bandmates.

Usually the lead singer of the band is alive much longer than the backup singer.

Well, I think back then during the 50s, there would be a gentleman or a lady who would start a band, then they would get a few barely legal folks to back them up.

And they die first.

So what is going on with Carmen San Diego these days?

She's just walking around swinging those huge, gigantic normal breasts.

She's like a scofflaw in a way, isn't she?

I mean, she's just, she's out there committing these crimes, apparently.

Yes.

Although she's had no due process.

No due process.

What do you mean, no due process?

Well, I mean, you've never arrested her in order to get her due process, I guess.

No, because I haven't caught her.

She just floats away on those things.

You've never come close to how close have you come to getting her?

I've come close to coming many times.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry.

I think you misheard my question.

Yes.

How close have you come to getting Carmen San Diego to capturing her?

Very close.

Have you ever laid a finger on her, perhaps?

Oh, I've laid two fingers.

And then what happened?

Why was that not enough to be able to take her down?

She shot up in the air and flew off.

Oh, sounds to me like she knows you're dreaming.

Very far.

I mean, no.

Nothing.

No.

No, we didn't say anything.

She might have been doing a three with 720.

Do you two

spend time with each other socially outside of the room?

No, no, it's purely a headphone relationship.

Yeah, we've never, and we're not even talking about doing something.

Why is that door open?

Oh, yeah, that door is fine.

That door is not open.

Oh, chief.

You are a rich.

You're so funny.

You have my gun.

I love talking to you.

I'm having the best time, by the way.

Have you ever had a Balkan breakfast?

What answer gets it to not be repeated, I guess.

Do you know what that is?

Yeah, I know what it is.

Hardbread, fresh.

Tomatoes you have to break with your berries.

But yeah, you put some gloves on that are bare.

Salt?

Okay, sure.

Cineman.

No, I thought we were.

Yeah, I know what it is.

Various meats.

Okay.

Because meats are involved in this.

Meats are involved.

Okay, yeah.

The Balkans have the meats.

Wow.

Okay.

I feel.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

That sounds really complete.

Yeah.

My friend texted me something about meat the other day.

What did they say?

Something about when.

Do you remember?

Oh, wait.

Why would you remember?

Anyway.

Look, Scott and I are opening our Broadway show.

That's right.

It's called Anyway.

That's what I've come here to promote.

Yes.

And it opens.

When does it open?

I can't.

So many emails I've got.

The 12 track.

The 12th.

Oh, yeah.

Of what?

Just the 12th.

You'll have to figure it out.

Could be the 12th year.

It'll be the most exclusive show on Broadway.

That's right.

An audience of one.

An audience of one.

But we do have one comp available.

If you'd like to come.

That's right.

Gareth.

I would love to come.

What is the one ticket cost?

Surely the overhead for a broad $250 million.

$250 million.

You only got to sell one ticket.

Yeah, no, the business model is a bit of a Hail and Mary, but I don't hate it.

Gareth.

Yeah.

Gareth.

No, sorry, that was a typo from earlier.

It's Gareth.

Gareth.

Okay.

Everyone who has sat in the A slot and who has gone as long as you have.

Well, I didn't go that long.

I didn't go that long.

I really don't.

I've heard people go way longer.

The longest time I've ever heard in that spot.

Chief, no way.

It was way.

I should know.

I traveled.

Okay.

You know the ball.

Don't know.

Do not pick up the breakfast.

I speak for.

Please, please.

Look, look, Chief, Chief.

Because Gareth went so long,

we do have to take a break.

Wow.

That's normal.

Unfortunately, we have to take a break, but can you stick around?

I simply have to leave.

But please stay, stay.

I talk to you so infrequently.

We do have rehearsal after this, Scott.

That's true.

But we're starring in the show as well.

I didn't know that.

That's why they split to 250 million.

Exactly.

Yeah.

We're going to come right back.

Gareth, you can stick around, right?

Yeah, I'd love to for a little while longer, I hope.

Oh, the full show feels good to me.

I mean, I don't know.

I might kick you out before the end.

As much as you want me here, I'll be here.

Okay, fantastic.

When we come back, we're going to have more comedy bang bang.

We're going to have more chief.

We're going to have more Gareth Reynolds.

We're going to have everything.

Plus, a girl coming up.

And remember, the legendary Jimmy Buffett towards the end of the show.

We're going to be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people, right?

I mean, I remember once I bought tickets for a Broadway show, and for the next six months, I kept getting ads for the show I'd already bought tickets to.

I kept saying, I know, I know I was on the website.

I know I visited the website, but I saw it already.

Sometimes it just doesn't work.

Well, LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, and that's where it stands apart from other ad buys.

You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company, role, seniority, skills, company revenue.

Oh, so many things.

All the professionals you need to reach in one place.

Stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals only on LinkedIn ads.

LinkedIn will even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign so you can try it yourself.

Just go to linkedin.com/slash bangbang.

That's linkedin.com/slash bang bang.

Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.

Boy, sticker shock, huh?

You know what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about prices.

They're going up, up, up, up, up.

At the gas pump, the grocery store, rent.

But you know what?

At Metro, they got your back.

They actually have lowered their prices and they're giving you a five-year price guarantee on talk, text, and data.

One line, now 20% lower.

Family plans, also lowered.

Oh, get this.

You get a free 5G phone.

All with no ID required, no activation fees.

So stop by your neighborhood Metro store.

Visit metro by t-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers.

Bring your number, not available if currently at T-Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days.

Guarantee covers monthly price of on-network talk text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan.

Exclusions apply.

Details at Metro by T-Mobile.com.

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace.

Whether you're just starting out or maybe you're scaling your business, Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools.

These are real tools, by the way.

It's like a hammer.

Squarespace reached out and they said, We invented a new hammer.

It's cutting edge.

I said, please, hammer, don't hurt him.

And we all laughed.

But in any case, they have some great tools and anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business.

Start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Website Builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps using basic information about your industry, goals, and personality to create premium quality content and personalized design recommendations.

And every dream needs a domain, doesn't it?

Well, Squarespace Domains makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price, no hidden fees or add-ons required.

Head over to squarespace.com slash bangbang for a free trial.

And when you are ready to launch, use offer code bang bang to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain

comedy bang bang we're back gareth reynolds is here a three-show guy as he's described himself yeah three a weeker yeah he's a three-show guy absolutely yeah he's got uh of course the podcast the dollop we're here to help and next we have yep that's three baby do they all come out on the same day no different days that's smart yeah i don't want to overwhelm people So, what are we talking?

Wooden

comes out on Sunday.

One comes out on Saturday.

We got a no, it's not a weekend release.

No, one comes out on February 29, whatever.

No, no, no, they're all, no, no, they're just weekdays.

It's a Monday,

Wednesday, Friday.

Yeah, that's gentlemanly.

What was that at the beginning there?

Yeah, yeah.

Is that good?

I can't quite sure.

You know, when I make that noise, I don't know why.

Okay.

It doesn't.

Okay.

Yeah, it's gentlemanly.

I'll be honest, it doesn't sound super i know what you mean i gotta i gotta talk to my doctor yeah you gotta have vocal nodes oh that make me do that oh those

wow it's really i thought nodes was like a thing where you couldn't be loud oh is that what those are yeah because that sounds like maybe i'm just annoying like a mic'd baby i gotta check me with my doctor am i annoying no um speaking of annoying chief is here hey chief what do you mean by that scott i don't know i'm just trying to segue but what i will say yes is there's another mystery afoot you don't say chief oliver north has been married to Fawn Hall.

That's right.

Yeah, congratulations to the lucky couple.

But finding love after all these years.

Oliver North, she was Oliver North's secretary

in the 1980s.

Oliver North has been married to the same woman since 1967, who died in November of 2024.

And I don't want you to say anything negative about it.

I would never say anything negative about it.

You might end this show

if I were.

I'll take this show out.

But yeah,

the mind reels.

They met each other again, rekindled at her funeral.

I think it's such a wonderful story of two people who were in a professional relationship and because they were in a professional relationship had no thoughts about

attraction towards each other, who then years and years later meet when circumstances change and suddenly a veil has been lifted from both of their eyes and they say, oh, you actually are attractive.

And then they get together.

It's a wonderful, wonderful story.

What I can't understand is that oliver north is 20 years older than fawn hall mean and he always will be always will be but now she's in her 60s gross

wait that's what you don't understand understand wait what do you mean why all the preamble do it in the 80s well

i i well because he was married wasn't that what we just

gareth i i look it's garrett it doesn't matter okay it doesn't matter but i i i will say i think a six year old can be attractive chief i really name five.

Well, as how old is Carmen San Diego?

Wait, yeah, what about you, Chief?

Carmen San Diego is a perfectly supple 21 years old.

What?

But she's been around for so long.

She doesn't age.

The breasts are still supple.

I remember you referencing that earlier.

Absolutely.

That knock-kneed naysayer is she never ages.

What about you, Chief?

She's sort of a highlander.

You're an older woman.

Me?

Yeah.

I

am

very old.

Are you?

What are you?

59?

You wish

You wish I was 59.

A woman doesn't tell her age.

But if she were to, it would be 78.

78?

78.

So you haven't lost any of your luster.

The bloom isn't off this rose.

The bloom is definitely not off this rose.

You look great.

Definitely not off the rose toy.

Excuse me, Gareth.

No,

it's Welsh.

G-A-R-E-T-H.

Gareth, please stop correcting Chief.

Please.

No, I'm not.

Okay.

How dare you correct a black woman?

No, don't do that.

Do not do that.

I think you don't white man splain to chief over here.

I wasn't.

I don't even know that.

I didn't even notice Chief was black.

Let's go through some of these accents.

No, no, I don't want to.

I've been all over the world.

Some of them are, it's kind of aged horribly.

I don't want to redo that, Chief.

Why don't you tell me about the Balkan breakfast?

That sounded pretty interesting.

Yeah, what is that?

Have you ever been to North Macedonia?

I don't think I've been to South, North, nor East, nor west.

You should go.

I have been to the the center of Macedonia.

They have breakfast there.

They do.

They eat it in the morning.

Right.

Peppers.

Cheese.

Oh, so it's a Balkan hard bread.

It's the Balkan.

What about salt?

Salt.

Meat.

Lemon.

Cheese.

Meat.

They got the meats?

They got the meat.

Cheese, too, right?

Cheese.

And the bread is that hard.

Hard.

That's it.

You know, my friend texted me something about meat the other day.

What did they say?

Wait a minute.

Never mind.

Look, we have to get to our next guest.

We have a packed show, and I want to save time for Jimmy Buffett at the end of the show.

I want to say the B-slot felt nice and long, too.

I think everybody's having a nice, long slot today.

That was the shortest slot I've no way.

Let's get to her.

This is fantastic.

This is the first time she's ever been on the show.

Please welcome Girl Who Had the Craziest Night.

Hey.

Hey.

Boo.

Did I scare you?

I don't know, Gareth.

Are you scared?

No, I wasn't scared at all.

Chieftain, I'm frightened right out of my panties.

You have taken off your panties.

Yeah.

I wish you would put them back on.

By the way, no, keep them off.

I'm not here to make things comfortable.

You heard the woman.

It's so nice to meet you, girl, who had the craziest night.

Yeah, I bet you want to know how I am.

Bet you want to get in this thick skull, get in the side of this Tootsie Pop.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind just figuring out what makes you tick.

How do you think I am?

Why don't you guess?

I'd like to see you try.

You seem defensive.

You don't don't mean happy.

A little aggressive.

Yeah, a little adjective.

But I imagine that has to do with your experience.

I've seen shit you can't even believe.

Try me.

I mean, this guy will probably say, huh?

What?

Well, I mean.

I've seen shit that makes your nightmares feel like dreams.

Makes your nightmares feel like PBS.

Makes your nightmares feel like Clifford the Red Dwarf.

What would my dreams seem like?

Your dreams.

Your dreams would be bad, too.

I'm a little.

Wait, so the reality is Clifford, the red

time's a construct.

I didn't even know I got here.

I need to get a put in my Invisalign.

Oh, maybe you visited Chief's friend Bill Cosby.

That's a little joke.

Obviously, if that happened to you, I feel terrible for you, and I don't want to joke about that.

But tell us,

you had a crazy night?

Yeah, I had the craziest night.

But you guys will get, once you hear my record, once you guys hear my music, it's going to change shit.

Oh, wait, you're a musician?

Well, yeah, of once you guys hear it everything's going to make sense oh okay i didn't i mean i guess i didn't that's not on your bio here uh you can't tell i'm a musician not really i mean you don't have any musical instruments yeah but i got this instrument right here it's called my voice it sounds a little i i i'm sure you really step it up when you record it sounds a little shaky that would be the only reason why i would say the most pleasant listen i don't got notes i got throat goblins I got goblins so deep they're tangled up in there.

I got goblins at war because everything did in Sagley's at war.

Someone's been eating a bulk in breakfast.

Oh, I love salt.

I don't do lemon.

I do peppers, jalapenos, red peppers, and then you can imagine when it comes out.

It's not pretty.

It comes out the other end, you mean?

You be the judge.

Do you guys want to climb on the roof?

Not especially.

Okay, I guess Jeef does.

Let's climb on the roof.

Do you want to get on the roof?

Yeah, let's see if you get scared.

I mean,

look, this is a pretty tall building we're in right now i think i might be a little bit scared let's see who can jump in the pool

i think we all could if we wanted to but it's kind of a cold day let's see you can dive in the pool i hear it's only four feet deep

ah

skull crushing that's what i'm talking that's my lower back tattoo skull crushing is your lower back let me look at that just the word boy just the word skull crushing wow out of context skull crushing and soul crushing because once you hear my music we never can go back.

Did you bring any of your music?

Is that what you're here to talk about?

Honestly, I thought you were here to talk about this crazy night that you had, but.

Shit, I saw last night you can't put in school books.

I'm not looking to do that.

Could we hear it on a podcast, perhaps?

Shit, I saw last night you can't even put into words.

You can't even put into sounds, but it's close to this.

That's one sound.

Yeah.

Would it help to maybe say a little bit what happened last night?

Because it feels like you're...

Well, once you hear my record.

That's all you're going to need in here.

So we hear the record and then we know.

So did you make the record since last night?

Yeah, I do a quick turnover.

Okay.

I got a studio in my studio apartment.

Okay.

Okay.

That's not, I mean, it's not usually the sign of quality.

Like, I just did this in the last hour.

You know, but I, but sure, yeah.

My music's so rogue.

I got nine mixtapes I put on Spotify since two hours ago.

Wow.

I need to get my membership back.

I'll give you a discount code.

It's called Skull Crusher Crusher 6969.

I'll remember that.

I will remember that.

Not in a sex way.

That's my area code.

69.69.

You're from the Balkans.

That's right.

I love their breakfast, but I don't eat breakfast.

I eat cigarettes.

I, you know, I crush them up and I swallow them whole.

Well, let's hear some of this music then.

I guess that'll explain what happened to you last night.

Is that...

I'll give you a little taste.

Okay.

I mean, you can give us the full thing if you want.

It's 14 minutes long.

a taste just a taste hey because i collaborate actually it's it's 32 because i collaborated with fish oh okay the band or the the actual just the fish the fish yeah marine life yeah it's marine life okay well yeah let's do the non-fish part and maybe a sample sure yeah and maybe maybe just like 30 seconds yeah not a lot so that everyone goes out and buys you guys definitely you want to hear it yeah yeah chief i mean uh i would love to hear it are you sure absolutely all right absolutely give me a count in

do we need that for you to press play on this thing?

Yeah, just go ahead and give me a count.

Before I give you a count, I need to know the tempo of the.

Let me, it's like, no, no.

One, two, three,

four.

You think, no, a person bought?

You don't.

I was bent on my friend and I was blaming my lot.

I was blaming my lot.

And I was doing it twice.

How many?

Twice.

The one that's twice.

I mean,

that's just a taste.

Oh, sorry, there's more.

Oh.

Oh.

We need another country.

And it's twice his counts.

Twice his counts.

Okay.

One, two, three, four.

Girls are on the go with their friends.

I love my life to the very end.

I'm with my girls and Christ and all.

I love my life and Jehomba's Wimbus.

Okay,

I mean, that was interesting.

Yeah, I mean, you guys ever considered Jehomba's Wimbus?

Jehomba's Wimbus.

Is that related to

the Balkans?

Is it really?

I guess you've traveled, so you know these things.

I've traveled.

Yeah.

You familiar with Jehomba's Wimbus?

I do know.

The book of Jehomba's Wimbus.

Tell us more.

That's a book.

Wait, I thought you knew about it.

I'd like to hear from her.

You sure?

She had a crazy night.

Yeah.

I had a night you wouldn't believe.

I had a night that there was so much fire.

They said, they said,

call an ambulance, but I said, let's burn.

Let's let it burn underground.

I mean, honestly, it it sounds really interesting.

I kind of wish you would tell us about it.

I mean, the song is...

I got like 35 vines of it if you guys want to see.

Oh, no.

You could just, you know, off the cuff tell us about it.

Honestly, your music, your music was interesting.

All right.

I don't normally listen to a cappella music necessarily.

Oh, then you shouldn't have come to my college.

Oh, I don't know what that means.

I was in a lot of a cappella groups.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't.

No, I didn't go to college with you.

I don't know if there was some sort of confusion about that.

Oh, you rubbing it in that I didn't get my bachelor's?

just my associates.

No, no, I think congrats.

I mean, that's more than I got.

Oh, really?

You think that's great?

That's less than it.

You don't go to college?

I went to college, but I never picked up any actual degree.

And yet here I am, a successful person in show business.

My dreams really do come true.

I went to University of Texas, Rio Grande Valley.

Huh.

Congratulations.

Did you graduate, Chief?

I didn't.

I showed up to the graduation and they said, get out of here.

Oh, so you just went that one day?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

you got to clarify that i don't know if that counts yeah which college did you go to girl

none

but you said you got your associates couldn't afford well i got my associates but i don't know my bachelor's i didn't want a piece of paper because the government because

the government yeah we brought the government into this you seem to have a very interesting conflicting worldview you bring up Christ and the government.

Jehovah's Wimbush.

Jehovah's Wimbus.

And

tell us a little bit about yourself.

How did you get to this place?

You can leave out the details of last night, but I mean, what happened last night?

You never recovered back from that.

What happened last night was so dark and so bleak that it was like a cave that you can't escape from.

It's just like inside of this Tootsie Pop.

How many licks?

What happened before?

You've gotten into it.

It was a new Tootsie Pop, and you just bit in.

And it seems like you lost a filling when you did.

Oh, I don't care about cavities.

It's just straight blood and class in my mouth right now yeah what were you gonna say gareth well i just uh gareth i just was gonna say uh did you

what what led you to this before last night forget about last night what led you to how were the events of last night how were things before last night last night oh i was at a bris

a bris as a jehovah witness yeah well i'm i live a really multicultural life okay as do i yeah

as does gareth yeah well

i saw you at the bris i was there thank you for bringing the bulk and breakfast Absolutely.

I never show up to a party empty-handed.

I would have eaten it, but I was on 10 outraw.

And because it was a Bris, I didn't leave empty-handed.

Did you see the snip?

Absolutely.

I was under the bottom and I caught it.

Is that what you mean?

You left with the tip?

Yes.

Okay.

They don't need it anymore.

Just the tip.

That's how I'm doing it.

I believe the Moyle, he has that funny joke about keep the tip.

And then he throws it to a lucky person in the crowd.

And you know who that lucky person was?

Greetings, gameshoe.

Oh, that's right.

Your catchphrase.

right have you said it up till now no i'll say no

i said it to you gareth yeah but not on air i think you said it to me a bunch before it's all you were saying to me before we started actually i didn't want to blow it in the green room um but one time i got a mikvah you got a what now a mikvah a mikvah

uh what

holy water oh okay

i converted to judaism you did oh okay that's great thanks yeah um uh so so is that is that what what happened last night?

It was related to that?

No, what happened last night?

There was bones.

There were Skittles.

There was bomb balls.

They were freaking out and

they were like, get inside.

And I was like, I'm not going to do that.

I don't know what you're doing.

I'm on the 405 freeway.

I'm doing donuts.

Like, you cannot even believe it.

Doing donuts on the 405?

I mean, donuts, doing donuts on the 405 freeway.

You mean in the car?

I'm doing it and eating donuts.

You're eating donuts in the car.

Oh, you're eating donuts in the car.

Doing it in donuts.

So you're eating donuts on the 405.

I'm doing it and doing it.

Are you eating donuts and doing donuts?

I'm eating donuts, doing donuts on the 405 freeway.

I got so many donuts in my face, I can't even see in front of me.

I'm blind by donuts, fast in the furious style.

I'm running down the street.

That was last night.

That was freaking long.

Okay, so what time was this?

After the bris.

After the bris.

So probably, that's usually an after drill.

So it's like 6:30?

So, yeah, 6.30 or 2.1 p.m.

moderate traffic.

What time were you in bed?

Probably like 8 or 9.

8 or 9 p.m.

last night?

Very reasonable.

This doesn't sound like a crazy night.

You went to a Briss, you ate some donuts.

You woke up, watched Good Morning America, and then you went to a Briss, drove the speed limit, eating some donuts, got home, had Lean cuisine, got in bed, prayed at John Busbimbus.

I don't know that the Lean cuisine is going to help after eating all those donuts, but

okay, what are you saying about me?

I thought this was a surprise.

I'm not commenting on your body.

No, it feels like I'm Leanne.

No, I'd like to.

Which flavor?

I had the lasagna special surprise.

Was there a surprise inside?

Is that like a toy?

Yeah, there was a wedding ring.

A wedding ring?

Congratulations.

Are you sure?

Was it?

Are you involved with someone who's maybe proposing to you?

I don't get married to government.

Ah, yes.

Okay.

I don't believe in that stuff.

Time's a construct.

As is love.

Oh, who's in love here?

Congratulations.

There's capitalism.

Wow, yeah.

You're all over the place.

Wait, what?

I mean, it applies.

In God's name, we pray on Edna Murray.

Okay, yeah.

So it sounds like a pretty sedate evening for you.

No, I was

freaking freaked my ass off.

Woke up at 8.20, study 8.10, rolled over the mortar.

Yeah.

She slept for over

12 hours.

12 hours.

And you've made an album, too.

Yeah, recorded nine Sign Clouds, SoundClouds, went to Gold's Gym.

What did you do there?

Pumped.

Pumped.

Did you listen to your album while you pumped?

Listen to my music, make sure all the levels were good like you do.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we listened to some of it the levels seemed fine yeah the levels were not an issue for me for an acapella no we can count

one two three four i'm so happy to be here with my girls and my guys and my ladies and all of them

twice boom boom boom boom my lady jumps

i like that one yeah i don't love that one too the levels were not a problem levels were great it's not really my style of music i don't even know what i would call that style of music what would you call it that was a duet with the girl that sings put your records on there were two two people on Corinne Bailey and Bailey Ray.

Oh, I freaking love that song.

I don't think we heard her voice.

Did we stop it before she came on?

Should we hear her?

Do you have any with her?

No, that you that was both of us.

I was in the background doing stuff like

oh, that was her.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I guess I didn't recognize your voice.

It's been a minute since I've heard one of her songs.

You didn't hear me do it again.

One, two, three, four.

Three little girls in the

singing.

I don't remember Corinne Bailey Ray making so many panting noises.

Scott, when's the last time you heard a Corinne Bailey Ray?

Honestly, it's been since the 2010s-ish.

Cheese from London.

Okay.

Fantastic.

Have you ever had a British breakfast?

I have, yeah.

Yeah, it's very similar to a Balkan in some ways.

Name it.

Name what is on it.

Say his name.

Say his name.

Say his name.

Say its name.

Say the name of the foods.

Well, there's toast,

there's baked beans, there's eggs, there's hash browns, there's some sausage.

Let's talk about the bangers.

There's bangers.

There's a lot of bangers, too.

A lot of bangers.

Bangers?

Is it hard?

Bread.

The bread?

No, it's soggy.

Everything in England is soggy.

I don't think that's it.

It's because it's so, it rains all the time.

It rains constantly.

It's hard not to get it on the food.

They don't use refrigerators.

They keep their food on the stoop.

Well, but I mean, you're talking about, first of all, I've been there a couple of times.

I've never seen stoops.

Oh, he's been there.

Well, that's, but that's all you're doing.

Depends on what time you're walking.

Depends on what time you're walking.

If you're just walking down these streets and like, there will be, you know, plates of food just on every stoop okay around lunchtime i'll concede that but while it sounds like a strange breakfast the bulk and breakfast also sounds very

you know it's garet how that's it dare you well no i didn't mean anything no chief i didn't mean anything by that i really yeah why are you taking such offense are you english i am not english i would never claim to be okay

i mean i mean right before the show in the green room you did introduce yourself as the english law enforcement officer the english law enforcement officer is the film that i'm writing it's It's a part two of the English patient.

Oh,

okay.

This makes sense.

It's a mixture of the English patient and police academy.

Oh, hi.

Is Hightower going to be in this?

He is.

Michael Winslow himself.

Making all types of sounds.

Making sounds like.

That sounds very familiar.

Tackleberry?

Yes.

Can I get it on Blu-ray?

Absolutely not.

It only comes on DVD.

Oh.

Okay.

Got it slightly out of date.

Got to buy one of those ones.

Standard definition?

All right.

Well, look, girl who had the craziest night.

I mean, it sounds, as nights go, it doesn't sound incredibly crazy, but.

No, it's crazier than you could ever believe.

Who wants to buy my record?

I only take Doge.

Oh, I don't have any Doge.

I don't have any Doge.

Chief, you got any Doge?

I have no Doge.

Oh,

we're a Dogeless

podcast today.

I'll get some doge and definitely.

Yeah, get some doge because I got to get my Uber home.

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to be able to get it that fast.

Yeah, by the time you need to Uber home, because we only have one more segment.

But you know what?

You're a musician.

Yeah.

We have a musician coming up in Seablock.

So is a musician going to pay me in songs?

I don't see how that's going to happen.

You could swap songs, maybe.

That's a good bartering system.

In the Balkans, they swap music.

And then, you know, for your Uber, you could have your Uber drive you home.

And then you say, you know what?

I'll drive you home.

Oh, we could do it like Burning Man where our currency is our music.

i you know what i bet we could get a ride home for her i i really i oh i'll just call my sister okay great yeah okay that seems that sounds perfect actually that would have solved she lives like right down the block oh yeah probably walk there it sounds like so but we're gonna have to walk like 40 yards

okay 40 yards 40 yards is not that much some people do that in four seconds yeah and it's like 84 outside some people i mean well look we have to take a break but uh oh and gareth do you have to go right uh yeah i actually do have to get going But hey, would you hit me up?

I really want to do that.

Yeah, social thing if you do.

What are your numbers?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

It's all that sort of rearranged.

Rearranged.

Okay, yeah, I'll figure it out.

You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, I know exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Okay, that'll be great.

Thank you.

All right, we're going to take a break.

When we come back, we will have more Chief.

We will have more of the girl who had the craziest night, but this is such an exciting

time for Comedy Bang Bang.

We have Jimmy Buffett, legendary singer-songwriter on the show.

We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

With next day delivery available straight to your job site, it's easy to keep jobs running smoothly with the Home Depot.

Plus, with pricing benefits for pros and top-quality brands, you only have to make one stop for the whole job.

The Home Depot.

How pros get more done.

ABC Wednesday, Shifting Gears is back.

It has a result.

Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

What?

What?

With a star-studded premiere, including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis, and hey, buddy!

a big home improvement reunion.

Welcome.

Oh boy.

That guy's a tool.

Shifting gears, season premiere Wednesday, 8-7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

Change is always happening, but no matter what changes in five years, there's one thing that will stay the same, the price of your internet.

With the Xfiniti five-year price guarantee, you get five years of the most reliable Wi-Fi, with our best equipment included for a price that stays exactly the same restrictions apply new residential customers only taxes and fees extra and subject to change most reliable wi-fi based on open signal awards usa fixed broadband experience report august 2024.

Comedy bang bang, we are back.

Gareth Reynolds had to go,

but his shows.

Next, we have the dollop and we're here to help are weekly.

Apparently on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, he takes tuesdays and thursdays off i think which is nice uh we also have recovery days recovery for yeah good oh my gosh after podcasting absolutely

you must rest the muscles that's right stroke muscles that's right chief is here as well am i oh am i scott you are and you're still on the hunt for

i'm still on the hunt for that cumbling computer girl carmen san diego That's right.

Yeah.

What are you going to do if you catch her?

Oh, I'll tell you, Scott.

I'm going to tie her up.

I'm going to chain her to the wall.

I'm going to spread honey all over her and release flies in the room.

Okay.

Seems like it's the Song of the South,

which I haven't seen, of course.

Wait a minute, Scott.

I'm going to spread honey and butter all over her body

and place soggy British bread right

at her feet.

Okay, yeah.

Which I will clean thoroughly.

The feet or the bread?

The feet.

Okay, great.

You know, my friend texted me something about meat the other day.

What did they say?

Never mind.

I'll tell you later.

We also have the girl who had the craziest night.

Saggy British Bread's a collapse I'm doing with Adele.

British Bread.

When you say Adele, do you mean Adele computer?

Is that what you were on?

That's correct.

I'm doing it on Adele computer.

Cool.

Yeah, this sounds really good.

Well, we look.

We've been hyping it up for the past two segments.

We have to get to him.

This is so exciting.

I'm such a huge fan.

Cheeseburger and Paradise, Margaritaville, all the rest of his songs.

These are the songs that our next guest, who is a legendary singer-songwriter, has created.

We're going to ask him all sorts of questions about his process, about

his singing,

the fact that according to Wikipedia, he passed away a few years ago.

We'll clear all that up.

Please welcome to the show for the first time, Jimmy Buffett.

Let me just open this door.

Hello, all right.

Then, All right.

Wait a moment.

Hello, Mr.

Buffett.

I guess I didn't realize you were a.

It's like when you listen to the Rolling Stones, you're like, sorry.

Oh, my gosh, who's that American woman singing?

Then you find out it's this British guy named Nick Jagger.

It's actually James Buffet.

But Jimmy to my friends.

What?

Jimmy Buffet?

Yes, caterer to the stars.

Yes.

You're not Jimmy Buffett, the singer-songwriter?

No, no, I believe he's passed on, hasn't he?

Oh, wait, so his Wikipedia page was correct?

Yes, Jimmy Buffett is dead as a doornail, yes, as a doornail, unfortunately.

Made my life a lot easier when he went though.

I'll say that.

Fucking stupid.

Yeah, so stupid.

No, it was a stupid mistake.

Scott, I'm gonna cover you in the same honey that I'm gonna cover Carmen San Diego.

Will you give me the same soggy bread?

Yes, and I will clean your feet.

Oh, well, I'm sorry if I missed something.

Let's get the elevated blanket.

But it's great to be here to talk about all the buffets I've done all over the world for all of the stars, some royals.

I guess we could do that.

I mean, I'm sorry, I had 10 pages of questions for Jimmy Buffett here.

Well, I could do some of those as well.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, go on that.

How'd you write Margaritaville?

Oh, oh, gosh.

I just

killed a

hobo.

Really?

Yeah.

I'll be honest, I can't poster as much.

Yeah, I do.

Ask me another one.

Ask me another one.

I think it could work.

How's it write cheeseburgers in paradise?

Oh, I drowned a wife.

A wife?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Yeah,

this is not working.

No, I don't think you can answer anything.

No, sorry about that.

But Jimmy Buffett, James Buffett.

James Buffett.

You sound like an interesting person.

Oh, fascinating.

I think you're going to be

happier that I'm here than you said you're Jimmy Buffett.

A caterer to the Emmy.

To the stars.

Yes, in town for the Emmys.

Oh, did you cater to the Emmys?

I did, yes, but not one of the main ones.

Side.

Side, like, what do you mean when you say?

You know, you see the different echelon of all the stars, and I was sort of

castigated to one of the smaller

side Emmys, sort of.

The side Emmys.

Yes, exactly.

I haven't heard of the side Emmys.

Well, they're doing the big one.

Sure.

And that's great.

And I love those.

And those are big stars.

But I work for sort of

smaller known quantities to the side.

But I was in town for the air.

Well, that sounds great.

But you were in town.

In town, yeah, doing the whole thing.

Tell us about some of the stars that you've catered for.

Oh, gosh.

I was doing...

Do you know Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

Yes.

From home.

Improvement.

From Improvement.

Yeah, he was there.

He's a troubled child star.

Yo, he's a big problem.

Yeah, he was there.

Allegedly.

Yeah, allegedly.

No, he really is.

No, but he was there.

He was at the show at the side Emmys.

And then he was at the after party.

We just had a great time.

Cool.

Yeah, so there's a lot of people there who are just, just, you know, side stars, smaller stars.

Smaller stars.

Yeah.

I mean, that's cool.

Yeah, it was great.

Look, we all knew his name, right?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, he was there.

Cool.

Yeah, and it was pretty much him.

Last night was, yeah.

Was it his?

Wait, was it his party?

Well, sort of.

He's in between.

Why are you shouting?

Can I ask you?

Am I shouting?

That's my thing.

Oh, sorry.

I could take it down a little bit, Chief.

I apologize.

No, no, that's all right.

I just said.

Well, I'm excited to be here.

Yeah, I'm just excited.

Were you at his house?

Yes, I was at Jonathan Taylor Thomas' house.

So, but it wasn't his party.

It wasn't his party.

It was my party that I was putting on for him.

And we had a big buffet.

But he hired.

And I do all big buffets.

Jimmy Buffet.

James Buffet.

I see.

So, what are, I guess, if

that's the only star that you've been around, I guess we'll segue to your buffet.

Tell us about your buffet as well.

Oh, I've worked all over the world for loads of people for a long time.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Like, like.

I did Sean Connery's buffet.

Sean Connery's buffet?

Yes.

He's huge.

He was a big star.

Listen to this.

Bond, James Bond, shake and not stirred.

Yeah, he really.

Yeah, very good.

Yeah, that was cool.

Did he do that when you were...

No, no, he was not.

He didn't like that sort of thing.

So you did do it and he didn't like it?

Exactly.

Yeah, I did it often, actually.

He did it, yeah.

Got it, got it, got it.

So we did a, I did, I've done his.

I've worked for Royals.

So which Royals?

Because we have a guest, Byron Denniston, who is a Royal Watcher.

He'd be fascinated with all this.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm always just a fly on the wall, you know.

I mean, I

set up.

Behind the walls, actually, most of the time.

Like in the walls.

Is that right?

He's hiding, usually.

Yeah, no.

So I'm just putting the food out there.

But I don't ask a lot of questions.

I've worked for the Finnish royal family.

Oh.

I've worked for the Dutch royal family.

Okay.

I've worked for the Macedonians.

Oh, God.

Have you ever had a Balkan breakfast?

Have you ever catered a Balkan breakfast?

I have, yes.

Do you know what's in that?

Yes.

Obviously, you do catered it.

Yes, it's a bit difficult, honestly.

It's

a bit simple, to be honest.

Oh, really?

Oh, okay.

Excuse me.

Name it.

Name the Bulk Breakfast.

Say its name.

Say its name.

Balkan Breakfast.

Say its ingredients.

All the ingredients?

Oh, gosh, it's a bunch of hodgepodge.

We'll start you off.

Salt.

Salt.

Salt's a big player.

It's mainly salt.

Hardbread.

Yeah, but it's fresh.

They're always bragging that it's fresh bread.

But it's hard.

It's hard.

Tomato that you squeeze with your bare hands.

Are you all right?

Is she all right?

I think she's all right.

Yeah, you got to hear music to really hear.

Do you guys mind if I nuke this linguisine?

Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, I think the.

What flavor is it?

This one's soggy peas with a side of hard.

Stink the place up.

That's okay.

We only have about 15 more minutes left on the show.

You guys got...

It's 25 minutes.

I got to eat it.

That's fine.

You can stay 10 minutes after.

I work in the food business.

25 minutes is way too long for something like this.

Nuke something?

Yeah, that's far too long.

Is it really too long?

I think so, yeah.

Oh, okay.

She put two four coils in the plastic.

Oh, I got the longest thing you've ever cooked in a microwave.

The longest thing I've duck.

Duck.

How long does a duck take?

Duck takes about two and a half hours to cook.

In a microwave.

Yeah, because you can have duck raw.

Oh, and you don't want to do it?

I don't know what you're saying.

You can have duck rods.

You can have duck raw.

You can have everything.

Okay,

no, you shouldn't.

Oh, okay.

You can have it raw, though.

It's too late.

I'm just just trying to.

Oh, my God.

I bought it, Doug with my bare hands.

Did you mention the meat?

Are we back to the Balkan?

My friend texted me about meat the other day.

I don't understand.

Yeah, it's all right.

So tell us about these buffets.

Do you do like specialized buffets?

Yes.

Depending on the star?

Yes, it depends on what they want.

So if someone, let's say I'm dealing with someone who's a soap opera star,

like

let's say I'm dealing with someone who's a soap opera star.

Okay, yeah, sure.

So Island Lucci all all over.

Yeah, so something like that, right?

I'll sort of work in a dramatic fashion, right?

Oh, okay.

Yes.

Like

the manner in which you're working.

Build the drama throughout the buffet.

What does that mean?

So you start off, there's no plates.

Okay.

That's a crisis.

Oh, meaning you didn't bring any plates.

Well, there's none there.

Okay.

And then as they go further down the line.

Do you have a scene where you're saying to Susan Lucci or whomever it may be?

Exactly.

Because no, there's no plates.

There's no plates.

Oh, okay.

And then she'll she'll come up to me and then I'll say, wait a minute, the plates were here all along.

Okay.

And then they're there.

And then they're there.

And then it's mostly just macaroni and a few other things.

Okay.

I mean, do you clue them in at the end of the evening?

Like, oh, there were plates and we're just doing this because you're a soap opera star?

No.

You just seem inept.

Well, let's say it's an action star.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Susan Lucci.

All right.

Donuts with donuts in the stream.

What was that?

They're doing donuts in the stream.

All right.

Yeah.

How much time we have on this soggy peas, by the way?

1824.

Right.

1824.

Love that show.

24.

Sure.

No, sure.

Love that number 18.

Keeper Sutherland.

You know what I mean, Jeep?

Absolutely.

I'm sorry.

I don't understand.

What was that?

Carmen San Diego is a highland.

That's what they call an inside joke.

So, okay, so an action star.

So say

an action star, right?

Someone big, like a.

Sean Connery.

Sean Connery.

Okay, great.

We start off.

There's no plates.

Okay.

Right?

Yeah.

Plot developing.

Same thing.

Same sort of thing, right?

You say, oh, no, there's no plates.

There's no plates.

What are we going to do?

He's highly motivated, right?

Motivated to what?

Find the plates.

Oh, he wants to find plates.

Well, of course he would.

He's got a buffet.

I'm sure he has plates at his house.

Well, he's not allowed to use those ones.

Is that part of the rules?

Yes, I've taken them.

So it's a real what's going on.

Okay.

And then as he moves on, I say,

there are actually plates.

They're in here somewhere.

And then it's just kind of rolls and macaroni and things like that.

So this is like a murder mystery party, but for plates?

Well, it's more of an action movie, really.

Have you ever seen The Rock?

The action star?

Yeah.

He's in Fast and Furious.

Yep, that's...

Yep, that ties it all together, in my opinion.

Have you ever seen a rock?

This shit goes hard.

You guys mind if I open the mic?

I gotta add my troll.

Yeah, sure.

Open the microphone.

Wait, microwave?

It's got a real smell.

Whichever thing you want to open, just go ahead.

She's got a real smell.

She's shortened it to Mike.

Yeah,

it's got a lot of cabinets and doors.

I never thought about that.

Microphone kind of has cornered the market in shortening to Mike.

Yes.

Other than Michael.

Other than Michael.

You can't really do it with any other word that starts with Mike.

Michael.

What were you doing?

Are you doing a Knight Rider?

That was my impression of Paul McCartney.

Where's Michael?

That's almost impossible.

Why would Paul McCartney say Michael?

Michael?

She's mine.

Oh,

okay.

The duet.

The duet, yes.

Did you ever work with him, Michael Jackson?

Oh, I did, actually, yeah.

What sort of thing would you plan for him?

Well, I worked with Michael when he was at his peak.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So 1983?

Yeah, exactly.

Right around there, when things were really going well.

Wow.

And so what I thought is, I thought, all right, let's make this interesting.

Okay.

We can really cater this towards his strengths.

Sure.

Start off no plates.

No plates.

And he comes in and he's curious where the plates are.

And it's just very,

it

sort of starts it off on the right tone.

Do you understand?

No, I understand.

I guess what I don't understand is

are you like some one-trick pony with the plates thing?

The plates is a big part of what I do.

Do you advertise as like the plateless caterer?

Well, I cater towards every event specifically.

I see.

Then you advertise as the plateful

caterer, and then it's a surprise when you don't have any?

Well, I wouldn't want to tip my hand too much because every event.

Every event's different.

Why are you shouting?

I'm really not trying to.

I'm really not trying.

I'm really not trying to.

Michael.

I had to give it a try.

Michael is mine, boy.

Michael.

Michael?

Michael.

Michael.

No, you don't get to do it.

Why?

Why?

William Daniels from The Graduate.

Was the voice of Kit.

And from Magnum PI.

And from Boy Meets World.

That's right.

Oh, yes.

What a career.

Did you ever work with him?

I did.

The youngest Savage.

I absolutely did, yeah.

Catered a number of events for him.

One of them is graduation.

Oh,

for not Fred Savage, but the Ben.

Ben Savage.

Yeah, Ben Savage.

Did he run for office recently?

He sure did.

But could have done so much if he'd just been given a chance.

Just one.

Yes, just one.

That's the thing about politicians.

Like, you have to win in order to do all the stuff you do.

I've done a lot of political events.

Oh, really?

Oh, absolutely.

Okay, like what?

Well, do you.

I don't know why.

Well, I'm not affiliated with any party.

Oh, good.

No.

Not your own parties.

Well, exactly.

I do parties.

That's quite good there, friend.

Yes.

But what I'll do is I'll make sure, like, let's say it's a Republican event.

Okay.

We'll start off.

What is that?

What are you doing?

Yum.

Let me guess.

Sorry, that's because you're eating my stopers with me.

It's only 10 minutes through.

I like it when it's thorn.

And it's lean cuisine, I thought.

Why'd you put it in for so many?

I'm doing a UK breakfast.

Nice and soggy.

Wait, what?

Okay.

So let me guess.

No plates?

No plates.

No plates.

So they show up.

Just a lack and an absence of plates.

What are they going to put the little stacks on?

I guess they make their hands.

Well, that's the only option.

What do people do before plates?

I believe they aired off rocks.

Just put it on like flat rocks?

They put it on a flat.

You've seen a rock?

Yeah, sure.

I have.

Yeah.

He lost a lot of weight.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know why?

Why?

No plates.

No plates.

Yeah.

I worked one of his things.

Okay.

That's so interesting.

Yeah.

If you want to lose weight, if you like,

don't do these crazy fad diets.

Just throw away all your plates.

Get them.

Yes, exactly.

That's very good.

Yeah, well, I don't know if that's posable.

Yeah, I'm not sure what that.

Yeah, of course.

The spork of the hand.

Yeah, right.

I'm for sure about that.

But yeah, no plates.

And then when they show up, they've got a lot of questions.

Sure, like, where are the plates?

Where are the plates?

They're furious.

Right?

And then I'm fast and furious.

Fast and furious.

Well done.

And then I sit around and I say, oh, gosh, it'd be great if there were some plates.

Right.

And we've got like bread rolls, we've got macaroni, things like that.

They can make sandwiches out of that.

Yeah.

And then it's a bit of a mystery.

Macaroni sandwich.

Nothing better.

A lot of carbs.

Not a carbo load.

Love it up.

Before I run 40 yards in four seconds.

Yeah.

4.2 seconds.

Quite a distance.

But yeah, so that's the buffet style of that one, yeah.

I mean, it sounds great.

But if it's a democratic event, obviously it's very.

Um,

you still eating that linguisine?

You guys mind if my sister comes in to pee?

Yeah, whatever.

I mean, as long as you get a ride after that, I don't want to be here.

She's going to be here a while.

Okay, that's fine.

She drank a lot of cuterine.

Wow.

What?

She's got a track meet.

She has a track meet later?

Boy, she'll be be here in four seconds, it sounds like.

She just got her permit.

Oh, she got her permit?

She's a year older than me.

16.

Wait, so she's going to drive in this track?

16?

What?

She's going to drive in this track meet?

What is that?

It's not really.

It sounds like an automotive race.

She's going to drive through the 400-meter trash.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think she'll be disqualified.

I don't know.

I think there's nothing in the rule book about it.

Just show up with a car.

You're allowed to drive those.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just show up with a car one day.

40 yards in 4.2 seconds.

Oh, here she is.

Hey.

Oh, hi.

You are.

I got a piece of intimacinatory.

Oh, yeah.

You made a big track me.

Use the bathroom if you don't mind.

I'm wearing my Loupitan.

You see those high-heeled Loupitons?

That's wild.

What a sound.

Fantastic.

Well, you know, I got to say, Jimmy Buffet.

Yeah, James, yes.

James Buffet.

Yep.

You know what?

I didn't have high hopes for your segment, but.

No one did.

Yeah, but you're fascinating.

Well, listen,

it's quite.

I mean, we're talking on 45 years of doing this now, so there's lots of stories.

When you love what you do, though, it doesn't feel like you're not.

I'd love to come back.

I don't think so.

But I'll tell you what, we're running out of time.

We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

You got something to plug, everything new, everything you've ever done, everything everywhere.

All at once, chaos and chaos, yelling on yelling, Scotty Aki podcast for jellin'.

New book, new shirt, new shoes, new shell,

etc.

I just need somebody wear.

Now I've got a bargain forever.

I just need somebody wearing

again.

I just made some little weather.

Now I've got a burger forever.

I just need somebody to wear me

again.

All right.

That was Plug It Forever by Micah E.

Wood.

That was good.

It feels like you're abusing the time allotment we've given you, though.

We give you a minute so you don't do 46 seconds like that was.

We give you a minute so you like come in at 30 seconds.

You know what I mean?

Do we need to shorten this?

I like that one.

Yeah, I loved it.

I just at

23 seconds, I was like, oh, it must be over.

And it was like, no, it's only halfway through at that point.

Well, according to my research,

that song would have have been in perfect time if the A segment hadn't gone as long as it did.

That's a good point.

We have plenty of time for a full minute if the A segment.

Sorry,

James Buffet.

Yes.

We had a guest who really abused his time privileges.

Oh, you mean you started off?

Yes, yes.

You were in C block.

He was in A block and just like ran so long.

Oh, the energy in here was still very, very vibrant when I came in, so I won't worry about that one bit.

Interesting.

Hey, let him cook.

Let you cook.

Because you are a caterer so what do you have to plug uh well on behalf of uh your a-block guest i've got a couple things you did he give you some plugs to yeah well i just found a sheet here look if you want to book me you can go to jimmybuffet.com uh that's where i am uh he's got a few podcasts i think you've mentioned that and also is recording a story did jimmy buffet only get dot org october 4th in chicago and you can go to his website which is garethreynolds.com what was your jimmy buffet question jimmy buffet though what about him did he only get dot org Like, you got Jimmy Buffett.

He was just a bit of a musician.

Yeah, yeah.

Wouldn't we?

Yeah.

GarethReynolds.com for that name.

Oh, GarethReynolds.com for this subject.

And Jimmy Buffett for booking me.com.

Is it confusing?

I feel it's a pretty straightforward sort of stuff.

I think this is pretty straightforward.

I guess it was some sort of show in Chicago, I heard?

Correct.

I wasn't listening.

Love that.

And, Chief, what do you have to plug?

I love podcasts.

Oh,

and I love getting them shut down if I don't like what they say.

But this one, I do like what it says.

Okay, what is it?

The name of the podcast is the flagrant ones oh i've heard about this by hayes davenport sean clemens and call tart it's on the hollywood handbook patreon patreon.com forward slash hollywood handbook okay i have a question do they ever drop the act i still don't know okay interesting also

if you like the soprantos

carl tart and lamar woods host a show called XOXO Bottom Beans, where they are watching every episode of The Soprantos.

And this is a spin-off of their xo xo gossip girl show gossip kings gossip kings right and apparently you were unavailable it's all over the church i did oh i was unavailable for the sopranto show the other day you simply must come on because uh because they wanted me to uh do it on a weekend and uh oh excuse me wow your weekends are so busy well i do have a child now whom

You got to come by the house.

We have to hang out socially, Chief.

Let's hang out socially, please.

We have to do this.

And girl who had the craziest night, what do you want to plug?

I just uploaded like 14 SoundCloud songs since I did the interview.

And I am on Leanne on Netflix.

Well, Hannah Pilkis, she's cool as hell.

She's on Leanne on Netflix, all 16 episodes, season two coming soon.

That's right.

And my wife was watching this, was laughing her little butt off.

Oh, that's awesome.

And then I have got a live show, September 27th, 7.30 p.m.

at Elysian Theater.

So go ahead and catch it unless this episode's not out yet.

Oh, it'll be out.

All right.

Say goodbye.

All right.

And what do I want to plug?

I want to say, hey, head over to cbbworld.com.

We have

so many great shows over there.

First of all, you have ad-free episodes of this show, plus the entire archive, every live episode we've ever done, all of our tours.

Plus, we have shows like CBB Presents, where people who are on this show have their own shows.

I think we have a new show coming up on CBB Presents that people will be really interested in.

What's that?

Well, I don't want to say until it actually comes out.

That's right.

And let's see, we also have Scott Asn's Seen where I watch Gareth,

our guest who the A Block.

Yeah, the A Block.

He was on that.

We watched Battlefield Earth.

Oh, that sounds lovely.

What a waste of time that was.

I'll tell you, that A block, I'm sorry I missed it.

I just can't get enough of A block.

That's right.

But so much stuff going on over there.

CBBWorld.com, you got to go check it out.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

We all look back,

bag, bag, bag, bag.

And they need some clothes in.

We need these bags.

Bag, bag, bag, bags.

Because we're nose in, nose in, nosing.

It's time to open up the

bag

to 2025.

Don't open up the

bag.

You got to baby all the lives.

All right.

See, 35 seconds.

That was nice.

Wow.

That was Nosing Round by Lautaha, featuring Benny Shaw, Bobby Moynes, and Scotty Ox.

All right.

Thanks so much to them.

And if you have any sort of plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs.

You'll find everything you need to upload your own songs and the stems for all of our remixes.

And guys, I want to thank you so much for being here, of course.

Chief, wonderful to see you again.

It's been a minute.

Always good to see you, Scott.

scott yes i'll be back in no time okay well i hope you'll take a little bit of time because i am actually done for recording for the day but uh i'll be back before you know it okay and to the listeners keep it wet

i'm talking about the bread oh okay in london yeah a lot of british listeners on this that's right you should come back for wet day perhaps if you really want to keep it wet but uh i also want to thank uh girl who had the craziest night i uh i mean we never really got to hearing exactly what happened but uh hopefully, another night like that doesn't occur.

Thanks for having me.

We gotta go, Allison.

We're gonna miss the check meet.

All right, let's go.

Wow, two very, I mean, look, they're sisters.

That's why they have similar voices.

Twins.

Twins?

Twins.

Twins, but one year apart.

Oh, okay.

Interesting.

So just let it cook for a little while longer.

That's right.

All right.

And then, of course, we want to thank Jimmy Buffet, James Buffet.

Yes.

Wonderful guest.

Wonderful.

Yeah, I would have loved to have gotten into the British bread stuff a little bit.

Oh, yeah, I would have loved to, but unfortunately.

Maybe we could do a little bit longer of the.

Oh, no, unfortunately, we have a timer.

It's a the show we do it New Year's Eve style where there's a ball that drops.

Oh, look, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two.

My food's ready.

See the next step, thanks.

Bye.

These days you've got two choices, buying a new car or making the one you've got run like new.

That's why we have thousands of ASC certified technicians to help you get more out of your car.

Firestone Complete Auto Care.

Book now at FirestoneAuto.com.

With next day delivery available straight to your job site, it's easy to keep jobs running smoothly with the Home Depot.

Plus, with pricing benefits for pros and top quality brands, you only have to make one stop for the whole job.

The Home Depot.

How pros get more done.

Hattoday presents in the red corner the undisputed, undefeated weed whacker guy,

champion of hurling grass and pollen everywhere.

And in the blue corner, the challenger, extra strength, Pattiday,

eye drops that work all day to prevent the release of histamines that cause itchy, allergy eyes.

And the winner by knockout is Pattiday.

Hattiday, bring it on.