A Segway Three Way (Adam Pally, Rekha Shankar, Casey Feigh)

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We're here.

Are you down to clown or are you just happy to drown?

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Thank you so much to Vav Dog for that catchphrase catchphrase submission.

Thanks, Vav Dog.

And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

I think that was submitted on January 17th of 2023.

Just getting around to it.

But thank you so much, Vav Dog.

And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition.

My name is Scott Ackerman.

I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang.

And we have a very exciting show for you today.

Coming up a little later, we have a set of twins.

Twins.

We also have an idea man.

That's very exciting.

But first, let's turn to our first guest who comes to us from the world of of entertainment.

And he's been entertaining us now for professionally.

What was your first professional job where you got paid to do what you do so well?

I was in a Twix commercial.

A Twix commercial.

Yeah, probably.

Were you giving or receiving?

Meaning, were you eating the Twix or were you receiving the research?

I don't know if that's the standard question for Twix commercials or for the exchange of the Twix, but I was both.

I was versatile.

Really?

So you gave someone to Twix and then also ate Yeah, the campaign.

The campaign was actually

really quite annoying to shoot because it was...

Everything is annoying to shoot.

Yeah, but like I was the this guy, this like bumbling guy.

And I would get into these awkward situations where it would pause

and then I would eat a Twix.

Oh, so you were pausing like, say, by the bell, a show I've only seen one episode.

Kind of, but then the audience could pick what I do.

The audience watching the commercial?

Yeah, well, it was like a web-ish series.

Oh, yeah.

And then, and so, in that time that, that they're picking what I want to do, I'm chewing on the Twix.

Oh, so you had to chew it for as long as

anyone could ever ever take.

Yeah, so it's like there were

like in each day after we'd wrap a scene, they'd be like, Twix shot, and then I'd have to stand in front of a green screen and eat Twix for like 40 minutes.

Oh, dear.

It was awful.

And that's how, I mean, when you're a kid, that sounds like a dream.

A dream, but like, or it goes away after the third Twix.

Like, I still, Halloween is a nightmare.

I still like that smell of a Twix in a rapper is specific and makes me.

So you're not going to, you don't plan on working for the Twix Corporation ever again?

Oh, I do it in the drop of a hat.

I go to Riod.

So he started out in a Twix commercial.

How long ago was that?

22.

So that was probably over 21 years ago.

21 years ago.

And he has entertained us for 21 years since, appearing in such shows as Happy Endings, where he played...

I'm going to take a stab at this, Jim?

I don't remember the characters.

You don't yeah, no, I don't remember.

None of us do.

We enjoyed it when it was on, right?

Yes, no.

I played a character named Max.

Max, that's right, Max.

And then you were also in.

Why are you being like this right now?

What does this mean?

I just feel like you have the information in front of you, but there's like a slight tint.

What do you think I have in front of me?

I have a computer.

Do you mean any computer has all of your personal information on it?

First of all, for the audience scott's computer is open to his only fans page that's right

i haven't been really hyping that as much as i wanted to i just mean there's it feels like a tinge of like i'll get your name wrong i'll get the shows wrong i'm not getting your name wrong i haven't said your name okay well that's also weird i mean i'm in the middle of a huge introduction for you that's trying to hype up all of your projects but here you are taking umbrage of it in the middle no i just look i'm not even in the middle you've done so many things so many amazing things in entertainment i'm old i'm at at the very beginning.

Because I'm old.

You're not

you're not like M.

Night Shyamalan's old.

Is that what you're saying?

You're not.

Now I've made a

deal with Dorian.

You're not like old.

Now my career is Dorian.

You're not like Grey.

I've made a deal with the devil in the mirror to stay

with my hair brown.

No, I'm saying.

No, you don't look young.

Is that what you're trying to say?

Well, that's what the Dorian Gray thing is.

Fuck, what?

Dorian Gray is like there's like a painting that keeps him young.

You're getting progressively older.

There's one that would look at me and be like, that dude's 43 straight up.

Everyone would look at me and get, there's, I,

come on, Scott, why are we even having this conversation?

Because you instigated it.

I just

introduced you to, come on, let's keep going.

Now, what else do you want to go through?

What are the web series you want to drudge up?

Well,

prank shows like

Knuckles a web series?

In a lot of ways, yes.

In a lot of ways.

Are streaming just web series?

Yes, in a lot of ways.

Most of my career is on the internet.

But you were in these Sonic the Hedgehog movies as a human being, not as

our friend Ben Schwartz is technically in him, but he's the voice of them.

He's the voice of them.

And I'm the face of them.

So he's in these Sonic the Hedgehog movies as were you his neighbor?

I was a police officer.

You're a police officer.

Yeah.

Okay.

Investigating what, like hedgehog crime?

This feels.

First of all, this feels like we've gone off the introduction.

We're now into specific questions.

And it also feels slightly

restorative.

You you know what i don't mean it to feel that way so therefore it doesn't you don't

okay

um he was in knuckles he also uh

claims to have been in other movies but i don't really like what the hell in his new special he says he's a movie star

you can't say you're a movie star when you've just been in movies that's the joke of it that's the joke well that's joke

Why?

I haven't seen you in like a little bit.

We went to Bruce Springsteen together.

Like, I know.

I haven't seen you since like a year.

Yeah, and I miss you.

And, and, and honestly, I've been here

for 30 minutes, and

you've been, it's been great.

And then the mics turned on.

And I don't know there's any difference in the way I'm acting.

I feel completely shortchanged.

You should not because we love you here.

You've been on the show many times.

Many times.

And now you have a new comedy special called An Intimate Evening with Adam Pally.

This is a new HBO special, the home box office.

It is premiering this Thursday on HBO.

Please welcome back to the show, Adam Pally.

Welcome back, buddy.

Oh, thank you for that introduction, Scott.

So good to see you.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

We saw Bruce Springsteen together approximately 365 days ago.

Yeah, we've seen a couple of shows together, I feel like.

What are the other ones?

I don't remember.

Did we go to see, weren't we in the same...

Didn't we go to see Prince during that run together?

I don't think we went together.

I don't even know if I knew you then, but.

You definitely did.

Did I really?

Definitely.

When he was playing those nights at the Forest, yeah, yeah, yeah, I went to about 10 of them, but I don't recall going to the bottom.

I think we went with, I want to say, Nikki, Nick Kroll, or something.

I think there was like a group of us that went.

Did you go to the river tour with me and Casp and Marino when we rented that bus?

Yes, okay, okay.

We've been through a bunch of shows together.

That was one of two Bruce Springsteen shows that I got so drunk at that I passed out in the middle of the show.

So did Daniella.

Yeah, well, we shouldn't have rented a bus.

That was like it was a party bus that had.

We rented a party bus to go see the river tour, which is notoriously the saddest and longest bruce spring scene album i love the river tour because it ends on the most depressing song and he always has to go like and that's the river that's the river and then it's like

lights come up

yes we did go see that

so we've seen two shows together perhaps a print show although i don't believe so and now you are okay

And now you have a new special,

which I've seen, by the way.

I got what they call in this uh business a screener i saw it as the director intended i wanted with my email address emblazoned across the mail i wanted to make sure you got it with your own watermark

specifically um and uh this is a very interesting special let's talk about what it is because the title of this an intimate evening with adam pally i first of all when i when i reached out to you to ask you to be on the show

It was like a thunderbolt hearing news of this special because I'm on the HBO mailing list, their promotional mailing list.

Of course, you're a big fan.

I'm a huge fan of HBO.

It's like the way people treat Disney.

I'm an HBO adult.

And

when I, so I got something in my inbox that said, Adam Pally has a stand-up special out.

And I said, I

had no idea that you

did stand-up, were attempting stand-up.

And not only that, but actually completed a special.

So I reached out to you immediately.

I wanted to know exactly what this was and I wanted to talk about it here with you.

Let's talk about what this is because it's a very unique special.

Thank you.

Do you want to say that's not a compliment?

Do you want to say exactly what it is?

I mean, you can take it as a compliment.

I don't know why, even if you don't mean it as a compliment, when you say something's unique, the person, if but it's like, well, I mean, this is a bad comparison.

Then don't do it.

I think I have to at this point.

I've already said it's a bad comparison.

People are going to wonder what it is.

Think of a better one.

I'm not coming up with anything else.

That was barely a beep.

so say you have you know stomach cramps and then you go take a shit in your toilet and you're like oh i've never seen one that looks like that before that's very unique you you wouldn't say like oh this is the best thing that's ever existed i might

say thank you

i might it's it's not is there blood in it like

no that wouldn't be unique right so i'd be like thank you yeah i know it's pretty impressive it is impressive to have something come out that hasn't been done before thank you

Again, not a compliment.

I just said it was impressive, but

impressive is inherently a compliment.

Do you want to tell people what the special is, or do you want me to say it?

Because I definitely don't want you to do it.

I don't want me to do it.

I definitely don't want you to do it.

Yeah, the special is about.

The special is

me trying.

to figure out a reason why I would want to do a special.

Were you offered the special first or did you?

It does seem like I did it on a dare, right?

It does seem like a truth or dare game gone wrong.

It seemed like someone said to me one night, you could never do a special.

And I was like, oh, yeah, give me a week.

I don't think you go into it in the special, but how long have you been doing these shows?

About three years.

Three years.

You've been doing the...

I haven't heard about you doing these shows.

I've been doing them at Largo

for a while and

at New York, at the Bellhouse and Union Hall.

And then I was like...

taking new bits that I would find and do them on like, you know, I did like a lot of Joe Mandy's show and Nick's show.

And

each time time i would like take the a bit that i didn't have and like add it to the add it to the to what what turned out to be an hour yeah what turned out to be an hour probably longer and then and then

instead and then i knew that it was complicated because the other thing i was trying to do while i was doing the shows was i was doing a different set each night and That is hard because like, you know, doing different jokes or just

doing different everything.

Different everything.

So anytime people would see you, it would be a different show, and it would be different guests, and it would be different songs, and it would be different.

When you say songs, by the way, we should mention what the show is.

Yeah, I play songs.

You play songs.

It appears to be about three to five minutes of comedy.

Generous.

Generous.

And then the rest of it is you playing songs on the guitar, sometimes with guests.

None of which you have the rights to, nor can you show it during the special.

Correct.

So still, there are billboards all over town, Scott.

How does that make you feel?

It seems disrespectful to the art form person.

Oh, really?

Say the quiet part out loud.

Oh, I don't think I was quiet.

Oh, no, no, you're trying to do it.

It's on your podcast, actually.

No, I but the majority then of the special seems to be padded or I guess made up of is a better way to say it

of a documentary about the making of the special.

A documentary which seemed to have started at about 3 p.m.

the day of shooting.

It says that in the credits.

So I'm not going to take that as an insult, even though I think you meant it to be.

I'm going to.

So it's not like a documentary that's been following you during the process of putting this together for three years.

That's not what the special is about.

No, it's about you.

The documentary starts at approximately sound check

and goes through to the end of, through the editing process, even.

Sometimes.

Yeah.

So this is when I say it's a very unique special,

it's unique in the sense of most comedy specials are like a comedian coming out and telling jokes for 60 minutes or so.

Right.

Those are most.

Most of them.

Right.

99.9% of them.

Yeah.

And yours is very different, which is great.

Great.

I think that was a slip-up.

Did you mean to say great?

Because your eyes went up.

I realized I was caught in a trap here,

but it was great.

It was great.

You know what?

I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

May I say that to you?

You may.

I'm going to take that as a compliment.

You're more than welcome to do that.

Great.

Because I believe that's what you intended for people to do.

That's exactly what I intended for.

Is to sit down or stand up.

I don't know.

Do you watch TV standing up?

Only when I'm walking

my desk.

When you're walking to your desk?

How long did that stand?

At my desk?

I have a walking down.

Oh, you have a walking down?

No, no, no, no.

I usually watch TV sitting down.

Most people do.

I would say the majority of them.

10%.

Yeah, somewhere.

I guess in that situation, the 1% would be unique.

They would and be great.

Wow.

Okay.

But

you want people to sit down.

You want people to watch this.

And you want people to come out the other side of this experience having enjoyed the hour that they've spent with you.

That's what I want.

Can I ask you a question about what you want?

Sure, sure.

What do I want?

By using words like padding or...

That was a slip-up.

I didn't mean just that was

paging Dr.

Freud.

Oh, well, then that doesn't seem like a slip-up.

It may have been a subconscious.

It seems like maybe

you're throwing all that out there so that, I don't know, other comedians

could

feel a sense of solace with you about, oh, wow, that, that, that, what, what's up there and what's on TV,

God, like, I didn't like that.

You didn't like that either, right?

It just seems a little bit like you're.

You know what?

I just need to give you some

back on this idea because I don't want to be asking an interviewer who is sitting there and co-signing to

a common enemy.

It's like always the best.

And it's like a weird thing.

We both agree with comedians.

We don't love it.

Perhaps a multi-hydro like yourself didn't really focus

on a press or at least.

And that's all I want.

What are you saying?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Were you talking?

No, I was not.

What were you saying?

Oh, I was talking during when you were talking.

I think so.

I didn't mean to be.

I didn't mean to step over you.

But tell us about the experience of making this.

Were you offered the...

Hold on, repeat it.

Did HBO come to see this show and say, we got to get this onto our network?

What was the process of selling the show to HBO?

Believe it, but that's that's exactly what happened.

They came and just said, this is, we got they came to see the show.

How long have you been doing it at this point?

One time.

They saw it after the first time.

I didn't even have, I hadn't even workshop anything.

It was interesting.

I was, I had been lucky enough to,

I got to have dinner right before I started doing the tour.

You were lucky enough to have dinner?

Yeah, I was lucky enough because usually I stop.

I'm intermittent fasting.

I was lucky enough one night to have dinner with Chris Rock

right before I started the tour.

And he told me and i told him what i was doing and he said you know don't don't be upset it takes about 10 years wow to get good at comedy like at comedy like doing that yeah and i and i was like okay noted and honestly it it took me about six months and it sounds like it took you one day before

one day to film it one day to get the offer yeah and now it's up there are billboards up billboards everywhere on the comedy store yeah which is amazing

amazing

And I know several stand-up comedians who they work very hard at their craft and they take.

Do they do it standing up?

They do do it standing up.

Is it 99%?

It's also the opposite of what you want people to do when they're watching you.

It's like, what?

Not me.

I should be sitting down too.

Well, I should be, I would say that you were wrong.

A lot of people are watching my stuff as they're walking out.

So they're more than 99% flipping you off.

Yeah, it's surprising how many.

It is an interesting question.

Did you get a lot of walkouts from people when you were doing this for the past three years?

Every time.

Every time?

Yep.

Every time.

And were people, would they reach out to you on, and I've had my share of this as well, people reaching out to you on social media saying, like, that sucked.

Why, why you, it's like you're not even trying.

It's like, you know, you have no.

You've had a lot of this.

I'm just, I'm trying to relate to you.

Maybe not this specifically, but you don't seem to have any actual.

It's a biographical tale right now.

It seems like it drifted into something specific.

You seen this happen to you.

You seem to have been failing upwards your entire career.

You know, just a lot of stuff like that.

Would people reach out to you and say stuff like that?

God, you know, there was definitely an sometimes people would get frustrated, you know, with the jokes because they are.

Were these shows free or would you pay people to see it?

Or what was the cost?

It was

a lot of the actually, so, you know, it was unhoused people for unhoused people.

Oh, yeah.

You're a hero.

I didn't know.

Yeah.

Wow.

And thank you for your service.

And now they they all have my phone number, and I like to consider myself a first responder to them.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Meaning you text them back.

If I can, if I can, if not on a plane.

You don't pay for the Wi-Fi on planes?

No, I no, no, no.

That's when I decompress.

They're doing free Wi-Fi where you can just text.

Yeah, I don't.

You can't go to websites or anything, but you can at least text.

No, no, no.

The plane,

once I get on the plane.

That's your sanctuary.

That's my little sanctuary, you know?

And it's nice because

it's hard to travel.

You know know what?

I would say that a lot of the money that we make out of doing comedy, like if there's some big festival, you know,

out there that we get paid $3 million for or whatever.

Exactly.

A lot of it is just, it's not even for doing the shows, which we love.

We'd go back and forth.

We love to do the shows for these smiling faces and there's KFCs and

McDonald's and everything.

And it's so great to learn stuff like that.

But we get paid for the sitting on a plane part of it.

How much money would it cost for you to take Comedy Bangbang to Riot?

Like if they were like, there's a podcast festival.

There's a podcast festival.

Who else is going?

Well, that doesn't seem to matter.

Are the Doughboys going to be there?

I mean, I can't say no.

Everyone says there's fast food everywhere.

What is your show again?

Your show, I'm doing it tomorrow, I believe.

What's it called?

Oh, Staying Alive.

Staying Alive.

You have a new podcast with a comedian that I've heard of from Long Island called John Gabras.

Yes, frequenter of this show.

Has he ever been on the show?

I'm not quite sure.

I don't understand why you're doing this.

But I'm baffled.

This is a podcast that you have.

I'm not going to take at this route.

I am baffled.

Would you, would you, so yeah, I mean, it's also unlike you.

It's like, is it unlike me?

I mean, to me,

my whole life, you've been nothing but sweet and lovely and generous.

I have been a supporter of you.

My entire career.

I had you on my television show.

Multiple times.

Multiple times.

Were you on multiple times?

Yes, as myself and as characteristics.

That's right.

That's right.

And you sat on the couch and you warned me beforehand.

You were like, I just have to warn you.

I've been gaining weight for a role.

And then that movie got canceled.

And then the movie got canceled.

Wait, you want to hear a really horrible story for that?

It came back.

We know.

The movie came back.

Had you slimmed down all the time?

I slimmed down.

And the movie came back and it was March 2020.

And they go, can you gain

20 pounds?

And it's with Tom Hanks and the NBA.

Can you gain like 20 pounds in like three

months or whatever?

I was like, I'll start right now.

And so then like started three months ago.

And, like, you know, March is like, things are shutting down.

And I kept checking in, being like, what's going on with that movie?

And meanwhile, I'm just like drinking and eating.

Like everyone, like everyone, but it wasn't that bad.

But like, by the time they canceled it, I was like 35 pounds again.

Oh, no.

It sucked.

And I had to bring that down from COVID.

And we don't want to say what the movie is in case it comes back around again.

No.

I think it's a jinx, though.

Like, if they ever reach out to you to say, like, hey, this movie's way too old now.

I mean, like, now it's like, yeah, even though I play young,

I'm way too old now.

Yeah.

I mean, I bet, you know what?

I bet you could still do it.

Knowing the personality involved.

It was a biopic, can we say that?

Yeah, it's a biopic.

A biographical picture.

Yes, totally.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I think I would be an odd choice now.

I feel like it would be like, I'm old.

There's so many more better people now.

Yeah, people who actually are the weight that they're supposed to be.

Yeah, I got my eye on a couple other biopics right now.

Oh, really?

Bobby Kennedy Jr.

Hey.

Someone's going to do a funny movie about that.

Who else could you play?

Who do fans say you look like?

I get Joaquim Phoenix sometimes.

Oh, yeah.

And I get

both Jews from the new girl.

What are their names?

Another?

Johnson and Max.

Max Green.

I get those two depending on my weight.

And then that's.

Depending on you.

And then, like, honestly, what I get the most is like

borderline.

I have like, did we go to camp energy?

You know, like, that's where I get recognized the most.

And even though I.

Did you ever go to camp?

I went to sleep with camp for a couple of years, but like, I wasn't a big camp person, but I have this energy.

But there's presumably 90 people out there who did go to camp with you.

Maybe 90, yeah, but probably less now, more dead, honestly.

That's true.

That is a good point.

So like, I feel like it's just, it's, but I'm not sure.

What if you found out that literally every single person you ever went to camp with is dead, but you?

Oh, my God.

And they'd all been murdered

one by one.

Yeah, well, well, what if I didn't know why?

And then I had to figure out who's the killer.

And then you think a killer's stalking you, and then you realize, no, you've been sleepwalking and killing them.

Yes.

And they call it sleepwalking camp.

Sleepwalking, sleep away.

Yeah, man.

No, that's gilding the lily.

Let's not mess with the title.

Let's call the untitled Adam Pally Horror Project.

Okay, yeah.

I think Untitled Scott Aucker Ben Directorial Project started.

Dude, honestly, whatever.

Whatever gets it made.

In this climate,

just keep the budget low.

Speaking of which, did you, you had a budge for this project that you are putting out on Thursday.

It's called An Intimate Evening with Little Matalio on HBO.

So you had a budge, and

you had an interested network who wanted to put it up, and then you shot the show.

You have special guests.

You have Dave Hill, who plays guitar.

So funny.

David Crumholtz, who's great, who also

sings.

And we hear none, really not anything that they do

because they were doing copyrighted material like Bruce Springsteen's songs and uh couldn't couldn't put that in the show couldn't get the right

and uh uh other uh another special guest is your father my dad your father plays

plays piano with you and i didn't even know you played guitar uh and you're up there doing it and you sound great and you have three of them on stage with you yeah because i i break them i've i've often in the show you said that in the show you said you know what i tend to break these and i thought it meant like you're doing pete townsend style like breaking them intentionally and then you immediately see that it means i drop them right and the straps don't work you had a budge for the show i guess my question is is why not one roadie who actually like is there to take care of your guitars because you see the process of you trying to push them into the to the venue you know now that you mention it it would have been helpful i

i really didn't think of it i really was just like

oh cool i did not think that you could get help like yeah a lot of people out there don't know they can get help.

And we're here to say at Comedy Bang Bang, we care.

That's our tagline for this year, by the way.

I'm sorry.

We're tired of this.

You're tired of what?

During the show?

Fake bullshit you're doing right now with like we care.

You spent the last 25 minutes eviscerating you?

I wouldn't call it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I would call it poking me with a butter knife.

I'm sorry.

Did you want a

safe little interview where topics are?

David Frost.

Yeah, really.

I don't mean, you know what?

Pull me over the coal.

I don't know who that is.

Yes, you do.

I assume someone.

Frost Nixon.

I know Nixon.

His first name was Frost.

All right.

That sounds ludicrous.

All right.

Well, President Frost Nixon.

I guess we're in the comedy of the bang bang part now.

Yeah, the earlier was just the bang bang.

When are we going to watch the movie?

We were all supposed to watch a movie.

You're not on my other show, Scott.

As I shit.

What movie did you want to do?

I would love to have you on that show at some point, but you're here so infrequently.

I know.

I know.

I watched on the plane actually this, the latest

Marvel, the new

Thunderbolts or the Fantastic Four?

That wasn't an option, the Thunderbolts, Thunderbolts, Thunderbolts with an asterisk.

Thunderbolts with an asterisk.

There's a lot going on in that movie.

A lot going on.

Like,

they have like two and a half hours, and they're just like, let's fill this with stuff.

There is a lot going on.

I don't know what to do.

Would you be a Marvel person?

Who would you be?

I was a Marvel person for

a Marvel movie for a hot second.

Which one?

Oh, you were in Iron Man 3?

I was in Iron Man 3, yeah.

I just spoke with the director of that film on my own.

Shane, yeah.

We had Shane on Scott Hasn't Seen.

A very fascinating conversation.

It was a fascinating.

It was.

Fascinating.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It was a great, fascinating conversation, I thought.

My first day in that movie, I was so nervous.

And

I was like really nervous to work with him mostly because he's

legendary.

A legendary screen, if you don't know his work, he wrote Lethal Weapon, Last Boy Scout,

Last Boy Scout, but also then directed incredible films like Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang and The Nice Guys.

And he's also legendary for being a Hollywood party guy.

Yeah.

And I was really nervous, and it was in like Wilmington, North Carolina.

And I got there early, and it was like five in the morning, and I was sitting in the makeup trailer, and they were like, hey, the director wants to see you.

And I was like, awesome.

And I

walked into Shane's trailer and he was like, hey, man, sit down.

I was like, he's like, I don't want you to be nervous or anything.

And if I see him weird, it's just, you know, I can't stay away from that red light light district

and i was like

we're in wilmington north carolina what red light district are we talking about i think he's just doing a bit but it was like he was doing a bit because he's he talked about on on scott as a scene he is a uh no longer yeah uh or or he formerly drank yeah but it was it made me less nervous like right away well but because also you're acting with uh robert deny jr where yeah and he was in the room too and it was like very yeah you know and i would imagine that they have to do that with

newer actors.

They do.

They do it with everybody.

Yeah, just to be like, hey, you know,

don't get nervous and waste our time by fucking up all your lines.

Pretty much.

They're very calming about it.

They do it early in the morning, and they bring you into this like massive trailer, and they just like give you FaceTime with the two of them so that you're not like shooting.

The first time you're seeing that is on set, and then you're in your head going, like, this is fucking funny.

Yeah, like a mask comes off, and you're like, oh, shit.

Was he wearing Robert Downey Jr.?

Was he wearing the wig?

Because, you know, in Oppenheimer, it is real hair.

Uh, he's bald.

Yeah, no, he was wearing a maternity dress.

Well, Iron Man 3 is what you're here to promote.

That is out there now.

What was your character's name in Iron Man 3?

Cameraman Gary.

That's like a superhero, cameraman.

I've been trying to spin it off for years.

You never know.

What's his name from that movie, Ben Kingsley, right?

Yeah, he returned.

He came back.

You could come back too.

i text everybody unreturned still green

well um an intimate evening with adam pally is out this thursday on hbo it is an experience it is something that uh you're gonna want to sit down uh you're gonna want to gather all the neighbors and

perhaps have a block party or something you know get a tub of beer and just uh really go to town on it maybe you know maybe pause it every two minutes or so and go did i just see that

and then uh start it up again after you decompress a little bit.

Tinge of jealousy, I'm feeling.

I'm jealous, yeah.

Tinge.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just kind of putting my finger on it.

I mean, I had my time in the sun on HBO, and I was part of the

sketch show, Mr.

Show, which if you missed,

I'm so sorry, Adam, that you haven't done your research.

No, actually, I did not miss.

I love Mr.

Show.

Oh, okay, so then you know my research.

And I used to, when I taught Sketch, it used to be, you used to do it all the time.

I

forgive me.

You're forgiven.

What did you do there?

Oh, I was a writer and

writer and cast member.

You were a writer and Catholic?

What did you do there?

You were in the cast?

You think that I said Catholic?

You were heading there.

Because I couldn't fathom that you would say cast.

There were two people in that cast, and everybody else was.

And then the one guy

was

regular cast.

I was recurring cast.

The government knows that?

No, I mean, on my tax sheet, I may have said I was was cast.

Right.

Okay.

But, but no, yeah.

So I had my time in the sun on HBO.

I've traveled.

I feel like our suns are.

Yours may have been a little bit more of a foggy day.

Wait, you think this special.

No, not for Bob and David.

You think this particular special of you dicking around for an hour

is better than my experience crafting one of the most seminal sketch shows of our or any other generation.

Well, when you put it like that,

I don't know any other way to put it, Adam.

Oh, I could think of a couple ways to put it.

Oh, really?

Let's let's hear you.

When you were a first-time staff writer,

first-time best time on an all-Caucasian male well, that wouldn't have a lot to do with that, though.

Pickings were slim in a time,

we were feminists, okay, sure,

at a time

when comedy was still new and ideas could be explored.

It wasn't the fucking Sid Caesar sketch show where you could go out there and dribble down your shirt and everyone just.

And you were getting salads for Kyle Gass or whatever.

I never got a single salad for or from.

I did not neither give nor receive.

So whatever you were doing, getting chicken Zazu or whatever you were ordering.

I didn't get him any food.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Anyway, an intimate evening with Adam Pally out this Thursday.

We need to take a break, Adam.

I do.

Please,

I do.

I feel bad.

I haven't seen your friend chicken in a long time.

We need to take a break.

When we come back, we're going to have a set of twins.

We'll be here.

We also have an idea, man.

This is a packed show, Adam.

Can you stick around?

Of course.

Thank you so much again for having me.

Love having you.

I love you.

We're going to be right back.

I love you.

We are going to be right back with more Adam Pally, more comedy bang, bang.

We'll be right back after this.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

Adam Pally is here.

An intimate evening with Adam Pally on HBO starting this Thursday.

Does it air once and then it's on Max or Max, by the way, your character from Happy Endings?

Go.

I think it goes on Go.

And then after Go.

It's on HBO Now.

It's on HBO Now, which you have to watch on your phone vertically.

Vertically.

Not horizontally.

So you're going to miss like

on the edges you'll miss, but you don't really need any angles.

So you want people to be edging while you watch an intimate evening, which is called it.

And it's on this Thursday, but people can get it afterwards streaming.

It's got long legs.

Long legs, just like myself, and a little gentleman in the movies, Cinema History, we call Long Legs.

He's been a guest on this show before.

Cool.

Yeah.

A lot of people come through this show.

I can see by the.

Yeah, it's a huge honor for you to be on this.

For you, I'm saying.

Okay.

Because so many great people have been on this show.

Okay.

Okay.

Great.

Thank you.

I don't understand.

Sure.

I'm just saying that, you know, a little gratitude would

go a long way.

Okay.

I reached out to you, which proves my bona fides.

What?

You boners?

Okay, no.

I did not open that email on paper.

The one that said bona fides?

Yes.

We have to get to our next guest.

They are twins.

This is exciting.

I've never, I don't think I've ever met twins before.

When I did a day of punch-up on New York Minute starring the Ashley and Mary Kate Olson, I believe they did not come into the writer's room.

But this is exciting to talk to some twins.

Please welcome, for the first time on the show, Barbara and Brittany Toadfelson.

Hi, I'm Barbara, and this is my sister.

Oh,

hi.

Hi, we're so excited to be here.

It's so great to meet you.

You both.

This is your, yeah, this is your sister.

Yes, we're twins.

Forced twins.

It's incredible.

Oh, I don't, uh, I don't know.

Foreign, do you know what?

I don't know what forced means.

Oh, my God.

Forced twins.

Forced?

Do you know what forced means?

Twins.

Forced twins.

No, we know what, tell you what, we know what forced means, and we know what twins mean.

But together, it's a

okay, perfect.

So my mom, obsessed with twins, so deeply wanted to have twins ever since she was little.

She was a single.

oh

okay yeah why did she want twins so badly had she just fantasized was she an only child no she had siblings but i think there was always that wonder what if i had that special twin bond with someone right someone to complete each other

yes sandwich so exactly frozen exactly so you're a parent i got a daughter

and she's a single that's the one thing we have in college she is a single bummer yeah did you guys try

We could have occasionally.

We could have.

I mean, I'm sure you did yours the natural way.

We did ours the natural way, but just blasting away.

Anywhere.

Yeah.

Anywhere that could

handle it.

Mostly in the garbage, and then we'd hold it over.

Yeah, but

we had to implant several times.

So occasionally there would be times where we would say, like, oh, there's a possibility

and it runs in my wife's family.

So we knew it was really an option.

Oh.

And you still had a single.

Wow.

You've had three singles.

I've had three singles.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

They're runners on bass.

That's right.

Waiting for the cleanup man.

Yeah, that's death.

Crack out of that.

See, so my mom, my mom, it was her nightmare.

No offense.

It was her nightmare to have a single.

You know, it just sounded awful to her.

She didn't want her kid to live in a world where it didn't have like a magic connection with another kid.

Yeah, that kind of thing that you see in like the parent trap or whatever.

Totally.

Except that is one girl.

That's what's crazy.

That's actually offensive.

You're kidding.

I always thought that Lindsay Lohan's sister just never worked again.

Yeah.

No, everyone thinks that there's like a dud lohan and then there's the Lindsay Lohan and that there's just like a secret lohan she's keeping in an attic dud.

Dud.

Yeah.

Dud Lohan.

Dud Lohan.

Dud Lohan.

Yeah, a dead and a dud.

Yes.

Okay.

And that's not true.

Not true.

That's one.

They did this through studio trickery.

It was like in the 60s, wasn't it?

I think so.

Yeah.

Lindsay Lohan.

Well, no, no, there wasn't like an early parent trap.

There was an early parent trap.

Was that a single?

That's no kids.

So they didn't even have

a single single single one.

Not even one.

It's so sick.

What am I looking at?

I must be looking at a little, a little,

maybe a doll?

A doll?

Yeah.

Or like

a dog in a dress?

I have suspicions.

One is a doll and one is a dog that looks like the doll.

So scary.

A doll and a dog in a dress was in the original parent trap.

And then Lindsay Lohan had a dead sister and a dud sister for the remake.

For the remake, I mean, it really is just her.

Her dad and her dad were at home, but like they didn't even just use twins.

Oh, okay.

That's the thing.

That's what sucks.

The twin representation is really bad.

Okay.

So, but you, so your mom wanted twins.

She wanted twins.

She needed twins, kind of medically.

She needed twins.

So, what do you mean by medically?

Like, she, she was just like, I was like, I'm going to kill myself with an old twins.

Oh, I see.

So, medically, meaning mentally, medically, yeah, totally, medically.

Her medical situation would end if that were to happen.

Absolutely.

She would have no medical.

Yeah.

It was mendical.

Mendical.

Got it.

Yeah.

So it's a medical situation.

A medical situation.

And so she, is she, she, you have a father, I'm presuming.

Oh, for sure.

Yeah.

Both singles.

Singles, but together.

And so they,

you know, he got on board with the whole twin thing.

You know, it's easy to convince someone, do you want to have twins?

Yes.

It's kind of an auto yes.

That doesn't, whoa, I don't know that I would be an auto yes on that.

I mean, it sounds like it's awesome.

I would actually be, yeah, I think that's a good thing.

Are you afraid?

Am I what?

Are you afraid?

Are you afraid?

I guess so.

Yeah, I guess I am afraid of twins.

Like, I wouldn't want.

I'm afraid of the workload.

And the money and everything.

It feels like I'll afraid of the money that'll come in,

like, the power, the money that I would have to put out to care for another child.

Yeah, yeah, no, because there's like two mallets to feed now, as opposed to one.

Oh, that's interesting.

So, that's not the case with us.

So, because we're forced twins, by the way, and you're Barbara, is that right?

I'm Barbara.

Brittany hasn't been really speaking all that much.

Could we hear what?

I don't know if you

what is it exactly,

Brittany?

Why does Brittany's voice sound like that?

Before we get into the process of.

And it seems to be tickling Barb.

Well, because she told a joke.

Did you not get it?

Oh, no,

I guess I did.

Okay, she has very

much.

People sometimes say she has like a British sense of humor, so it might not make sense.

Oh, it doesn't come across the pond.

Yeah, it might not make total sense.

Well, there's an English, there's a language barrier.

There's a language barrier.

Yes.

English people say stuff differently.

Yeah.

Is that a joke from your special?

Oh, my God.

That's so cool.

That's the second one out of three, right?

That's the first one.

Okay, so you asked about Brittany's voice.

Yeah, I did in a roundabout way.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So because we're forced twins, my mom, when she got pregnant, the embryo was a single.

And she said, no, no, no, we have to split this.

Okay.

Is that medically sound?

What did they do?

They chopped the embryo in half?

You, doctor?

You nailed it, Scott.

Wow.

Okay.

They get in there, they chop the embryo in half to create twins.

To create twins.

They do the incision while the embryo is inside.

Yeah.

And then they hope.

And they say, we hope.

So when my mom gave birth, I came out first.

I'm older.

You can tell I have a little more maturity.

And you can talk English as well.

Right.

I can talk American English.

Yes.

Yes,

so when I came out, all good.

Just kind of missing some of my parts of my body.

No big deal.

Oh, what's missing?

I haven't gotten a good look at you.

I choose to look at at you.

Are we allowed to ask?

Yes.

You can totally ask.

I choose to look at you from the eyes down to your chin.

Oh, okay.

Oh, is that your chin?

That, this is Britney's chin.

It's kind of cute.

You have Britney's chicken.

Britney's chin.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

It's Britney's chin.

So I exit, you probably can't tell, I don't have my legs, which hopefully that's not a problem.

No.

No, I mean, at Comedy Banking, not only do we care, but we also

know

disability,

et cetera, et cetera.

No disabilities on Comedy Bay.

Scott's always going on about that.

That's for his house, too.

No disabilities at Scott's house.

We don't have the ramps, really

necessary in order to, but

no, I do want to say that everything is, we take all comers.

It's also, that's actually what it says on the application to work here.

All comers.

All comers.

No, no disabilities.

Wow.

That's so kind of alarming, Scott, because

Brittany got my legs.

Brittany got your legs.

What do you have there?

Do you have like the Oscar, what's his name?

Oscar Pistorius?

Podiatrist?

Wouldn't it be weird if his name was Podiatrist and he had no legs?

That would be too ironic.

Doctor Strange.

Didn't he murder his wife?

I mean,

with a kick.

I think it was manslaughter.

Is that...

That's less.

It was a lesser kick.

It was vehicular, though.

We're not laughing about this terrible tragedy.

We're laughing at at our own words.

No, we're laughing about Oscar Petroyas.

Petronas.

I think we talked about this a couple of weeks ago.

He came up?

If he was your Petronas,

that would be strange, right?

I wouldn't, I mean, I don't like J.K.

Rowling, so I don't think about Petronas as.

That notorious TERF.

We don't like her here at Comedy Bang Bang.

You don't?

No, I wouldn't even have her on the show if she applied to be on the show.

I would not.

I would turn her away at the door.

I would let her come here and spend the expense and all the hassle, get an Uber and all that kind of stuff.

And then at the door, I'd go like, we don't like you, you turf.

And I would slam the door in her face.

You put her up in a really nice hotel, say it's totally covered.

She goes to check out.

Bill's on her.

And I do that when I book the room and I go like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

She wants to pay for this.

Like, I know that I'm supposed to put a credit card down, but she really wants to pay for this.

She wants to big time us.

And then show a picture of her castle and be like, yeah.

I mean, so you're like, there's obviously not a money problem.

Give me a second.

I'm just just going to call the hotel.

Scott meet up.

We took all of our guests on Comedy Bay.

For an hour podcast.

Yeah, for an hour in the hotel.

He said he loved my special that much.

Wow.

I haven't heard it.

I'm glad to have you on, buddy.

There's a lot to ask.

I miss you, too.

I miss you, too.

Think about you all the time.

Yep.

Got to see another Spring Scene show and no other musical.

Yeah, or Prince.

Not sure.

Not sure if we can make that happen.

Oh, yes, Britney has my legs.

Brittany has your legs.

Brittany has my legs.

You have her chin.

And I got a head.

I got the head, part of the embryo.

Yeah,

I wasn't going to mention this, but Brittany doesn't really have what, like a traditional head.

Yeah.

No, she doesn't have a traditional head.

They kind of,

yeah, I got it.

I got it.

She,

they, she was born without a head, and they were like, we got to fix this probably in like a few minutes.

They wanted to do a cold play on her.

They wanted to do fix you.

Right.

Yeah.

That was on the tip of my tongue.

That was on the tip of my tongue.

When I hear Fix You, I immediately think about that song from

2003, maybe?

Their self-titled album?

2008.

I don't know who it is.

Why?

I don't know.

Their third record.

Speed of sound.

Yeah, okay.

Which is the first single.

Dude, quit while you're ahead, though.

Oh, I was ahead?

Well, she doesn't have a head.

She doesn't have a head.

So

they did what they could.

They found, they went to the morgue, unfortunately, to find, you know,

unused heads and things like that.

And then they ended up finding a one that perfectly fit the kind of hole that was there that didn't.

That's what we're all looking for.

We're all looking for a head to fit a hole.

For a hole.

You know?

Nine-inch nails.

I was going to say, yeah.

Well, you beat me to, well, you beat me to the path.

And I totally get what you're both saying because I know a ton of nine-inch nails songs.

Yeah.

But so what, what, I mean, whose head is that on Britney?

Is that and what's what what species because I have to say, her voice sounds like,

and this is, you know,

when guests come on the show, I don't, I don't want to insult them.

Of course.

So I try not to.

You're known for being nice.

Yeah, I'm the nice host.

Yeah.

But it sounds like the braying of a sickly horse.

That's sick.

Classic Scott.

And not only that, but it sounds like a YouTube video of the braying of horse.

Why would I play a video of a horse?

I'm just saying what her voice sounds like.

It's just, yeah, because you sound so clear.

And it also seems like she sounds like she's coming through a phone.

And it seems like it's cutting in in the middle of

what you're saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's that must be language stuff.

It must be language.

So, yeah, we were told actually, they wouldn't tell us whose head it was.

I mean, I know she kind of has like these gray features.

She has like bigger ears than me.

They told us it was a celebrity's head.

So.

I mean, there are horse celebrities.

Could be, yeah, Mr.

Ed.

Can you think of another horse celebrity?

Sea biscuit.

Sea biscuit and then Hidalgo.

I'm sorry.

Wasn't Hidalgo another horse movie?

I kind of take offense.

What was that Bobcat Goldthwaite horse movie?

If it wasn't called Bobcat.

It should be called Bobcat.

Then I think you'd go expecting a movie about Bobcats.

And then you'd see it was Goldwaite and go, you know what?

I can't sue you because literally Bobcat is in this, but I'm not happy.

But now that you mention it, old Bobcat Goldthwaite does sound like a horse.

That's a good point.

And

I'm trying to not take offense here, no guys that you think my sister's head is a horse head well if anyone did take offense it would be your sister not yeah no you have a beautiful

oh my god and we would not i mean you are a stone cold fox thank you guys guys stop like i mean

this is just scott okay guys both of you stop adam stop i'm not even adam peace

like you actually mourned your sister

you are a dying piece okay wow this is so nuts because usually at the bars, Brittany is the one who gets sexually harassed.

I see.

Oh,

yeah.

You get that?

I get that.

Yeah.

Well, the big hole.

So yeah, it wasn't a perfect fit.

There's still a gap between where the head goes on and where the big hole was.

But they told us this was a celebrity head.

So I was trying to, I've always wondered which celebrity head is this?

You know, you always wonder that when you see people.

So I was, I sometimes will go through like who was born in 1995.

Who, or sorry, who yeah, which should be who died?

Excuse me.

Who died?

Who was born?

Us.

The Toad Felson twins.

The Toad Felson Twins, of course.

That is your name, and you know it very well.

And I know it very well.

But I just haven't been able to narrow it down.

Celebrities who died in 1995.

If you guys have any pitches, I'd be dying.

I could do a quick.

A quick Google search would help.

Yeah, celebrities.

You're going to have to close your own face.

And it would have to be.

Oh, gosh.

In 1995, you say.

Yeah.

Alana Turner died in 1995.

Jerry Garcia.

Oh, my God.

Of Jerry Garcia.

Of Cherry Garcia fame.

That would be amazing if my sister got Jerry Garcia family.

Her head was Jerry Garcia.

Wait, how do we prove it?

Okay, wait.

I guess we could listen to a Grateful Dead song and see if it sounds like

she'll know something.

Okay, wait.

Yeah, let me.

What's any Grateful Dead song?

Scarlet Begonias.

Scarlet Begonias.

Scarlet Begonias?

Yep.

Okay, let me play Scarlet Begonias here.

Strike something.

See if it strikes something.

Here we go.

This is a live version.

Oh, good.

You you picked a live version.

Apparently, at Winterland in 1974.

Oh, this will be a little slower.

Why do you say that?

Because in the late 70s, they were playing things faster.

Interesting.

Because there were drugs involved.

This might be the first Grateful Dead song I've ever heard.

Really?

You would like the Grateful Dead.

They're one of the great songs.

But the John Mayer version.

The John Mayer version.

Yeah, only.

I was walking round over the square.

Chill to the window, but I'm in to the air.

Oh, wait.

Oh, my God.

It's trying to sing.

It's trying to sing along.

That is

the whole time.

I was only looking up woman celebrities.

I didn't think to look up male male ice cream-centric.

Yeah, ice cream-related celebrities.

Wow.

This is huge news.

I feel like you need to call like the remaining members of the Great Fill dead.

I know, because this is like, you know, they just had a bunch of concerts at the sphere.

You could be like playing the sphere with it.

Yeah.

Well, I couldn't play the sphere.

It's not my head.

Of course.

But you probably have...

Do you have any body parts of Jerry Garcia?

You know, I mean, maybe you have the right hand, you know, the one he played guitar with or something like that?

What?

You think my disgusting, crusty right hand with a ton of calluses is Jerry Garcia's hand?

Those look like guitar calluses to me.

I mean, and Adam, you know guitar calluses better than anyone.

Usually they're on the left, but yeah.

Even if you play with your other hand.

Well, notoriously, Jerry Garcia was a righty.

Yeah, but he strummed very heavily.

Sure, and I guess I could get calluses from strumming.

Does it matter that my right hand has always faced the wrong direction?

No.

It doesn't because that still is a right hand.

It's still the right hand.

But yeah.

Bummer.

Didn't work out.

Just somebody else's hand.

No.

I don't think we should give up.

No, I don't.

Look a little further.

I bet there are heroin marks on the

arm.

Yeah.

No way.

Let me check my arm.

Okay.

I see some on my thigh.

Does that mean anything?

Maybe you could have Jerry's thigh.

I mean, if you do have Jerry's thighs, do you end up with a thigh?

You have Jerry's beautiful thighs.

Yes.

Oh, wait.

I don't have legs.

So these are just my, these are my prosthetics.

Does that count?

Yeah.

I mean, were they prosthetics of his thighs?

And they were based on, they said some old man's thighs.

Oh, maybe he did like a molding of his thighs.

That sounds like something he would do.

Especially in the remote.

We're all in the Dorin fans.

In the remaining years years between tour gigs, non-stop American touring.

Oh, an American tour sounds nice.

My sister and I have always wanted to go on American tour.

It does sound good.

I would love to drive around the country.

Yes, right?

I'd love to be flown first class around the country.

You don't want to drive?

DJ?

You don't like a road trip on a comfortable tour?

Too.

I've had to do the driving during our tours.

Yeah.

But like, don't you see those videos of the comedians on the big buses?

You're like, I could do that.

Yeah, I could do it.

If someone else were driving.

like a road manager.

Yeah, but I think anything over five hours is like tough on the old caboose.

Yeah.

That's a real butt beater.

You got to get someone to switch you out, like they do with twins in the biz.

You know, they'll, they'll.

Are you switching out your butts?

Well,

what they do with twins in the biz.

When you have two.

I don't know what that means.

You keep saying what they do.

Twins in the biz.

I don't know what you're saying.

Yeah.

I've never heard.

Oh, wow.

That's so crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're a single in the biz.

I'm a twin in the biz.

Okay.

What biz?

The industry.

The industry of note.

Are you in show business?

I'm in show business.

I had no idea.

You haven't talked about this.

What do you do in show business?

We, you know, we, we, we, we twin online.

We do like.

I don't know what that means either.

That's crazy.

Does that mean like you're you share an account or something?

Like we should definitely have to share an account for brand purposes.

But we do, we do branding deals for twin stuff, you know, like matching shirts, same-size, you know, same-size shirts.

Products aimed exclusively at twins?

Totally.

Okay.

And because it's like a small market.

Twins?

Adam's whole family is twins, except all his children.

No.

No, that's not what I said at all.

I said

it runs in my wife's family.

And why are you running away from it?

Because I don't want twins.

I said that.

Yeah.

I actually actually also think we have, isn't it 1% of the population is twins?

I mean, that's, I guess, 1% of the population, if there's 7 billion people on Earth, that's, you know, what is that, 700 million people?

So that is a large population.

And times two.

Exactly.

So that's a lot more than.

Yeah.

Times two?

I don't don't think that's right no but times two times three for triplets i don't think that's how that works no because all those people are counted as a person and divide by two for singles so less than one percent of the world is not a triplet fuzzy math is george w bush for 100

so yes we're trying to become a brand and yes

you can't just say so yes anyway with what you're saying in addition to double mink gunk

i wish they don't do the twin thing anymore What?

They've taken that away from their brain.

That's their whole thing.

That's their thing.

Double mint.

I know.

But twins are not popular in the media.

People think we're a threat.

It is scary sometimes.

I mean, like, the shiny, like, do the shining girls.

If every twin banded together and tried to roll your eyes

and tried to overthrow.

Yeah, you just rolled your one eye.

The shining eye.

My old eye that's a bloodshot red.

I think that's Terry Garcia.

No, really?

Also, you have a big, thick, gray beard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

and you're wearing tie-dye on what little body parts you do have.

Yeah.

So what?

And it's like cute bears on it.

What of it?

You brought up the shining twins.

Yes.

And I need you to investigate that.

I'm

on Google.

Like, in what

way would you be investigating?

The shining twins have given a bad name to twins.

Well, they're creepy.

Right.

And they're ooky.

But guess what?

They're positively spooky.

Yeah.

And then they're what?

The Adams family.

The Shining twins are here.

Now, let me ask you, Scott, who's the villain in the Shining?

Some might say Jack Nicholson himself is,

or maybe his mental illness.

I prefer to think that it's a mental illness that no one is at fault for.

I'm sure he hacks up his own family, but

a single hacks up his own family.

Yeah, they're all singles.

Yeah, I guess that's true.

Like, I guess just by

inherent numbers, most crime is committed by non-twins.

Thank you.

I will bring up the Menendez brothers.

Yeah.

They're twins?

I don't know.

I actually don't know.

They've never said brothers.

That's what's weird is we had them under oath at one point.

No one won't admit it.

And honestly, it's kind of like when you see a crime and you're like, gee, I hope it's not my demographic.

I'm praying they're not twins.

Right.

I'm praying those are two singles.

I wonder, okay, so twins are 1% of the population.

Right.

So really, really 2% because it seems two.

I don't think so.

But so most crimes take place from 99% of the people, sure.

But I wonder if the proportionate,

like, I wonder if twins are responsible proportionately for more crime.

Like, twin, you know, have you ever committed a crime?

No.

I mean, not a single one.

You didn't speed coming here.

Well, Brittany drove.

Brittany's leaking a little.

Yeah.

There's like a.

Oh, I see.

Brittany.

Brittany is pointing towards my computer, wondering if I'll play the Grateful Dead song again.

I'm sorry, we couldn't get the rights to this.

Much like an Adam special and intimate evening.

That doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be shown.

Yeah, sorry.

Brittany's hole is leaking.

I usually stuff it with tissue papers, but she absorbed all of them earlier.

Okay, yeah, stuff that's gross.

Okay, do I talk about your leaks?

Yeah, what about your holes?

Are your holes always dry as can be?

Oh, yeah.

Let's give it a test, Scott.

Do you have a swab?

Let's see if Adam's holes are dry.

Oh, yeah.

Show me your big hole, Adam, and I'll see how dry you are.

You guys, why are you doing this?

You both know exactly what I was talking about.

During the break, Adam was talking about his anal leakage.

I'm sorry, I mean, it's just it's

I'm sorry I brought it up about the leaking.

It's okay.

I don't understand why you're giving me such a hard time.

I'm sorry.

We all have it.

I think it's brave that you made a special about your anal leakage.

I think you're not.

Did not do that.

I think that that's the underlying theme of your special, and I think it is very brave to give people who have it hope.

Exactly.

I'm hoping that we give twins in the media hope that, like, this is the real representation of great people.

I cannot stress this enough, and I've had to address this before.

My special is not about analeakage.

You've addressed this before, really.

It has nothing to do with that.

I don't know why it keeps.

Is it subtext?

Because I'm very good at subtext.

Ah, in what way are you good at subtext?

Oh, I'm reading it all the time.

In what?

Like the works of Shakespeare?

Yeah.

The immortal bard himself?

Yes, right now I can tell you're excited.

She's good.

She's good.

Where in the plays, like the melancholy Dane?

He's excited.

Yeah.

Oh, very good.

She's really got you.

Look,

Barbara and Brittany, I'm so glad you're in show business.

You haven't really said what you do in it, but,

and I'm not going to be playing the.

I'm not going to be playing the video, or that's a very funny joke.

Whichever one, though.

It was really funny, and you don't need to play the video.

Oh, she makes a joke and a request to play the video?

I know.

She's like weird Al.

She's funny and she sings.

Wow.

Okay.

I like like that.

I think he'd take that as a compliment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, we need to take a break if that's okay.

But can you stick around, both of you?

Of course.

I didn't hear what Brittany had to say.

Brittany, do you want to stick around?

I promise.

I'll give you up that video again.

I'll give you 15 apples after that.

That's good.

Sounds like the 15 apples was.

Sounds like we have a deal for those 15 apples.

That's actually a lot of apples.

That's two minutes.

That's a lot of apples.

Like 15?

I go back.

How many apples could you eat in one sitting?

Three.

I think if I was pushed, if it was like, how many apples do you, I think I could do three.

I think if I was really hungry, I could do three, maybe three and a half.

This is an ad.

Ignore it.

This is an ad.

Brittany.

Brittany, you're doing an ad.

She's trying to do SpawnCon on her own.

I told her she has to do stuff only.

So into branding.

It's so sick.

I'm so sorry.

All right.

Well, we need to take a break.

When we come back, we have an idea man

will be on the show.

Plus, we're going to have more Adam Pally.

We're going to have more with Barbara and Brittany Toad Felson.

we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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We're here.

Comedy Bang Bang, we're back with Adam Pally.

An intimate evening with Adam Pally is on HBO this Thursday.

And are are you going to do more specials?

I was till I had this conversation with you.

I don't mean to be discouraging to you.

Well, that's all you've been.

I was thinking maybe I have more to give, but I really think I need to take a moment.

Really see how this is received.

And see how it's received, Ron.

Because honestly, before I got here, I thought it was being received one way.

Have the reviews been coming in?

Have they been trickling in?

Or has there been

a torrent?

From friends and peers.

From Shonus Group.

They seem to like it.

They seem to like it.

Great.

Fantastic.

Well, that's most of them.

That's good to hear from friends and peers in a time like this, is it not?

But when does, say, the official reviews of the time like

this are you referring to?

What does that mean, timely, and exciting?

When your career might be on a precipice of being ruined or ruined!

Ruined!

I mean, something like this can definitely be,

you know, it can set your career off in a different direction.

Wild.

Like, there are so many podcasts.

There are, yes.

And we're so glad that people are listening to this one, aren't we?

I guess they, I mean, this is how you treat people.

I don't think that I treat people any differently,

be they friends or be they people I've never met before.

I think you get the same treatment on Comedy Ben.

Why are you talking like that?

Be they this?

What are you trying to do today?

Trying to speak like my hero, Willie Shakes, the immortal bard himself.

He's excited.

He's the author of the Scottish play.

I can't stand

intellectually impressive.

Scott.

We also have Barbara and Brittany Toadfelson here.

They are twins, and they're in the industry, although I've not heard what they do in show business at all.

We need to get to our next guest, and I have to say, our next guest has been in the bathroom for about 30 minutes here and has finally come out.

We were all ready to go.

We had all the ads were done and everything, and then he made us wait for another 25 minutes or so coming out of the bathroom.

But he's here now, so it's wonderful to have him.

Please welcome.

uh is it board mr ockerman while that may be factually accurate why on earth would you use it to introduce me on your radio program i i'm sorry but is it is your name board board mcspoon

you have all the information there on the board is that is that short for robort

yes Great question.

See, that is an introduction.

That is connecting.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to.

I mean, maybe it was passive-aggressive of me.

And let me say that was maybe the first time I've ever been passive-aggressive on this show.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

But

I apologize.

You did keep the video.

Isn't the title called Comedy Bang Bang?

I believe it is.

Yeah, that's passive-aggressive.

Is that what CBB stands for?

I don't know what this is, but I have no idea.

Brittany has CBB.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm wearing a ribbon, though, like a polka dot.

And I noticed that.

And I noticed, Adam, you're not wearing a ribbon.

Yeah.

That's for CBB.

I'm wearing the non-CBB ribbon.

Oh, got it.

I get confused with these ribbons.

Don't like the thing.

I don't like the thing.

You don't wear a ribbon for CBB.

Oh, okay.

Got it.

Anyway, Board, I'm so sorry.

You did keep us waiting for a long time, though.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr.

Ockerman, but I just received devastating news about my wife passing.

So I don't know why you have to come at me so aggressively to start the podcast.

And that made you shit for a really long time?

What in God's green earth are we doing here?

No, I was in your restroom perusing the soaps.

I wasn't sure if it was my time.

Do you like my collection, by the way?

Loved it.

Very Star Wars-themed, very on par for everything else I see.

I mean,

they didn't start out that way, but they all just naturally, once you start to

drink your body, they turn into a droid or an angry.

Sorry, you found out your wife died today?

Thank you.

Yes, that's true.

That's the information I'm coming with.

So when I was in the restroom, I was taking a little bit of time.

You were perusing the soaps, man.

Perusing the soaps.

Was that 25 minutes of it?

Oh my lord, Mr.

Ackerman.

No, then I had to open up a Red Tube on my browser, on my phone.

And your wife died today.

My wife died today.

And you learned of it?

Yeah.

On Red Tube?

No, that's not how I learned.

I hate a lot of things.

I want to be a sympathetic and empathetic person.

This sounds horrible.

Yeah.

It seems like you're doing a lot of things post-learning of this traumatic incident.

Absolutely.

Oh, wait, the soap in the Red Tube was post-learning your wife had died?

Yes.

So Mr.

Ackman, Adam Bally here is asking me great questions, connecting with me empathetically.

Meanwhile, you're coming at me again and again.

What I mean to you, but

can I ask about your wife?

How did she pass away?

I'm so sorry.

Segue.

I'm trying.

I'm trying to segue from the soap thing into

what, you know, how did your wife die?

I've been doing the show for a while.

I think that's a good idea.

I had an aunt that died at that supermarket.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She was.

Oh, wait.

Are you saying that your wife died on a segue or

a bad segue?

That segue.

That segue.

On a segue.

Oh, my God.

It was in the middle of a switching of conversation as well.

So it was actually a triple segue.

This is all just the information's rolling in.

And I didn't know exactly.

You're getting information from multiple sources.

Mr.

Hockerman.

The report is launching out.

Yes.

Yes.

Triple segue death out in public.

Yeah, which again leads me to wonder and to stress, you must be under such duress.

So

you hear this news and you go, oh, God, I got to escape this news.

I'm going to open up a porn site on my phone.

Sure.

Well, first of all, I'm thrown by the soaps.

So,

of course.

Okay, so I'm jarring because you're in someone's adult's house and they have a Star Wars soap.

It's very R2D2, right?

These are not the soaps.

I was seven years old when Star Wars came out.

I'm of that generation.

We love our Star Wars thing.

I have a question too, which is that you wanted to attend a podcast even after learning.

Yeah.

I mean, I appreciate you not leaving us high and dry in Seablock.

Right.

But

were it to be me, I would have just made some excuses and went and dealt with the situation.

Why are you here on Seattle?

And were it to be me?

I would have simply said the truth.

My wife just passed away.

Sure.

I need to get out of here.

I guess what I'm saying.

Because Brittany and I have agreed to never marry.

Right.

And it is me.

And I decided to continue with my day, to deal with the things that I had lined up.

And then what do you have lined up after this?

Well, I'm doing Mark Maron's last episode.

It's his final?

It's his final.

You're his guest.

And you're his guest.

I'm the guy.

A guy whose only interesting thing he's mentioned is that he died and watched porridge.

Now I know why you opened up that red tube.

You got to relax before you go to Mark Maron.

He's grilled.

I mean,

Adam, if you thought this was a hard question.

Oh, he's going to grill me about my special.

I've already heard from Mark.

He loves my special.

Nope.

I don't think he would, actually.

No, in fact, he told me he didn't.

I'm an idea man.

I have ideas.

I just haven't been able to get them out because Mr.

Ackerman here keeps grilling me on my dad.

That's right.

I forgot you were an idea man, which is how you wanted me to.

Because it seems to me like your guy with dead wife who likes dead wife.

Porn addict with a dead wife.

Well, come on.

Sure.

No, come on.

Today, today I'm dealing with a dead wife.

That's not what describes me.

But porn addict would?

Well, look, the facts of the information may be true, but why on God's green earth are you saying it on your radio program?

You're the the one I'm saying.

I do have to say, and I would never defend Scott, but

you are the one that said you were on well you had a good question.

What was I doing in there for all that time, right?

Right.

And you don't want to lie to us.

No, of course.

I'm answering the question.

So did you crank one out in the bathroom?

I tried, but I was too sad.

On my subject.

It didn't happen.

That makes sense.

I mean,

your subtext is so sad.

So

you were not sad enough to not start.

Well, you got to give it.

Hey, sometimes you've got to give yourself a try.

You know?

You got to see.

You're an optimist.

I'm an optimist eternally.

Eternally, except when I'm getting grilled over here by this guy.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to do that.

Well, I'm sorry to hear about your wife and this triple Segway incident.

Thank you.

Do you have family?

Yeah.

No, no, I was going to ask you.

I love your voice.

Thank you.

Could you say something for me?

Sure.

Could you say what is the deal with these airplanes?

What is the deal with these airplanes?

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

Look, I do have to say, you sound a little bit like...

Well, let me tell you, I wasn't trying to, but no.

You sound a little like a previous guest we've had on this show called Weed Seinfeld.

And now I am hearing it myself.

I swear to God was not the plan.

Weed Seinfeld is a comedian who makes...

I've heard him hilariously.

He has one joke per episode.

Oh, I've heard a few.

The hilarious man.

You find a lot in common with this guy.

He's special.

He laughs per minute.

Wow, I can't tell you how different of a plan my voice was when I came in.

It sounds different now that you've heard it.

I'll drop it.

I'm going to drop it.

I'll try to get back to the way it was when you said it.

Mr.

Ackerman.

There we go.

Yeah, you're locked in.

Mr.

Ockerman.

You're locked in.

Yes, I'm an idea man.

Okay?

Can I get to my idea, Scott?

No, boy, I can't shake it.

When it's in your ears, you can't shake it.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean

to do it.

This is just like my SNL showcase, where every character became a week.

You auditioned for SNL?

Of course I did.

I'm an idea man.

And your idea was, why don't I become famous on SNL?

What's the deal with this show?

Yes.

I'm an idea man.

Like my ideas.

And they are industry ideas.

These might help you.

You might be interested in it.

Okay, let's hear some of your ideas.

Because I don't want to, just because this terrible thing has occurred,

I don't want to distract you from what you came here for.

You keep bringing it up.

You keep bringing up the saddest moment of my life.

This was the saddest moment of your life.

I'm so sorry.

My wife.

What are some other sad moments?

In life?

Yeah.

I remember seeing With Honors, the movie.

If Joe Pesci dies at the end, spoiler.

Sorry, it's sad.

You know what?

I walked out, so I'm glad to hear.

I don't have that closure yet until next time.

He said he had Adam's number because he's unhoused, and you would reach out.

I wish we would not.

Yeah, I do remember the one line I remember from that movie is someone said, you know, if we're not careful, we're going to be graduating without honors.

And it was like they were aware of the title of the movie they were in.

Yeah, I like that.

It's like hearing the name of the album in a song.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Or in an improv scene where someone says the suggestion laid into the scene because no one said it yet.

They think the audience needs to hear it.

Sure, yeah.

How do you know so much about improv?

You're very clued into this.

I'm in the industry.

I'm an idea man.

What better ideas than improv?

Am I wrong?

I need some ideas, Boris.

Let's hear some of these ideas.

All right, so I have this game show idea.

Okay.

Here's what we do: we line up a bunch of sexy singles, right?

Okay.

Ugh.

No?

Singles.

Yeah, no offense.

Oh, right.

On yes.

Onions.

Maybe we could come up with a different term.

Pulling on a bunch of sexy non-relationshipers.

Great.

Okay, I like that.

Okay.

And then while they're on the studio, we sneak into their houses and we pull out their pillows, the actual pillows they sleep on, right?

We take off the case and then we put these disgusting, sweat-soaked pillows in front of them and make them try to guess whose pillow is whose.

I have a couple.

Well, is it worth it to ask any follow-up questions?

I mean, we may as well dig in a little bit.

What sweat.

Have you ever looked at your pillow?

Yeah, after.

I don't like stare it down.

Exactly.

That's my point.

No one would know.

And so they look so hot.

These people, these sexy, hot people look so hot.

And then we see their disgusting pillows.

You're so horned up.

Yeah, what?

Why do you

just want to gather a bunch of sexy people?

Yeah.

And like, you're watching Red Tube in the face of the past.

You're watching Pillow Piece Red Tube.

It's almost like you guys can't leave the fact that, sure, while I was in a stranger's bathroom for a little time, I perused Red Tube.

Perused.

Perused!

That's a gentle turn.

It's hard to find the perfect video that you're looking for.

You're looking forward to perusing the soaps.

You were looking at pork.

Hey, fair.

Fair atomic.

Can I just check the note?

I don't think you need the pillowcase aspect of it.

I think the sexy people coming to a location is enough, and then they hook up or whatever, you know?

Well, but it's a game show.

What's the mechanic of the game?

Yeah.

Well, because if you,

I don't think people could identify their pillows.

I don't care what you think.

So it's really just about guessing pillows.

Yeah, if it's just about guessing pillows.

Why do they need to be sexy?

Why?

Because you think sexy people are going to have clean pillows, but they don't.

We all have disgusting pillows.

It's a commentary on life.

There's disgusting pillows behind all of us.

You're not looking at it, right?

You're putting a, oh, you're putting a thing on top of it.

But how often do you buy a pillow?

Once every what?

20 years?

Well, you wash your pillow, don't you?

What?

What?

You change the case.

Yeah, the case.

But the pillow.

The case is what protects But the pillow from your sleep protecting head.

Andrew, I defy everyone who's listening to this right now.

Pause this podcast.

Go look at your pillow and tell me that you're not disgusted.

Well.

Oh, wait.

I really don't want you to do that.

Disgusting.

There's supposed to be police all around.

What is happening with it?

Why are there so many police everywhere?

I don't know.

I'm not the police.

Why did you answer?

No one asked me.

I'm against the podcast.

I was just saying it, Rittor.

We were just looking around.

What's the deal with all the police?

I don't know.

All right.

Try to work some weed into it.

It's another guy's job.

You're not going to take this link.

Okay, fine.

Bad idea.

Fine.

Bad idea.

You seem a little like this other guest I've had on who comes on and pitches musicals.

Okay.

These bad ideas for music.

These all sound like

a combination of these two guests.

Okay.

They sound funny.

They sound funny.

I sound funny.

Yeah, no.

You literally sound funny.

Yeah, you sound funny.

You're a wonderful addition to the Comedy Bang Bang Canon.

Please continue with your ideas.

Robart.

All right, great.

Robart.

Robart.

Robart.

A single panel cartoon, okay?

Yeah.

Two sexy singles, right?

Or two sexy people are talking to each other, and then we see the person who they're talking about, and these two are saying to each other, boy, you notice that he wears the same jeans all the time.

And the other one goes, yeah, I do notice that.

How embarrassing,

right?

A comet kind of this all happens in the same cell.

This is a one-paneler, but they all say so much.

Isn't it just going to be huge bubbles?

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, it's a big bubble.

Or it could be written far side underneath if you want.

So we hear a lot.

The first idea was a TV show idea, and then this is for a comic panel.

Single panel.

Single panel.

Single panel.

Is it big?

Is it big?

I'm taking a vacation.

They need one week off.

I'll jump in there.

I'll do it.

It can be big.

It can be small.

Size of the panel.

I mean, by the way, this is a daily strip, I'm assuming.

Like, you would need to do seven of these ideas.

You can't just come in.

Yeah, who does a weekly single panel?

Family circus?

Family circus.

That's a daily thing.

Bill Keene with 1L.

Man, he's

pumping them out.

Kathy is daily, isn't it?

Yeah, Crankshaft.

Can I fill in for Crankshaft one time?

All right.

Dilbert, maybe.

Yeah, Dilbert.

Oh, he's crazy.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Sure.

Yeah.

So that one, yeah.

All right.

All right.

We'll say yes to this one.

I've had success in my career before.

I think you're trading

easier career.

I'm an idea, man.

So, for example, I used to watch NBA basketball games, and I noticed, I said, the guys who are touching each other,

their teams are better, you know?

I was watching Rick Fox.

I was watching Rex Chap, man.

This is a long time ago.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was watching these guys touch.

I was watching these touch touches.

Like a high five?

Yeah, like a high five.

There's a high five, a slap on the butt, at the free throw line, a little touch.

You know, you are so horned up.

This is actually.

Spread tube says free throw porn.

Okay, yeah, you got to put in code words.

That's how you, otherwise, they'd send you to stuff like, you know, a lot of stepmom stuff that doesn't pertain to me.

Right.

And so.

You don't have a stepmom?

I do, and that's why it doesn't pertain to me.

I don't want to.

I love her.

What in God?

You're not the real one.

When did she join your family?

A couple of months ago.

Couple of months?

Yeah.

That's respectful.

Yeah, that you already have her.

And she must be quite old.

She's very old.

Yeah.

Honestly, I think it's a situation.

My dad's on the way out, and it's a a nurse taking advantage.

But gosh, I respect her.

All right?

I'm not trying to do anything there.

Okay, all right.

The more you say that.

You're not trying to admit that.

We don't have plans to do anything together.

We're not running away from them.

What's the deal with her?

Exactly.

And so we're touching basketball players.

They're touching.

They're touching.

And those are the teams that are playing.

And I did a study.

I did a study.

And the more you touch, and this is a real thing that coaches do teach in the NBA currently, that they want their players to touch more.

They said, yes, the teams that touch more are the teams that are more connected and win more basketball games.

And that is how I got into the idea game.

That was my first successful launch into ideas.

Wait, your idea was one that someone already had?

They were doing it.

No one was noticing.

No one was noticing.

Oh, this is cool.

But no, you just said that

the coaches touching this guy.

Say that.

Because

I wrote the research.

They got it from your research.

They got it from my research, Scott.

What research?

Was it a book or you just sent a letter or what was it?

I wrote it on my notes app.

Okay.

Did you send it to anyone?

Yes.

NBA.

I sent it to the NBA at gmail.com.

NBA at gmail.com.

I'm sorry.

And your wife died today.

Today.

In a three-way segue.

Segway accident.

Yes.

And I'm here.

I'm getting myself.

And meanwhile, Scott's grilling me.

The police, by the way,

three more cars have arrived here.

Yeah.

You're a shopper.

I hear a job.

Can I just say, are you here to establish an alibi?

Were you...

You didn't come here just because you know that there's a tunnel leading out of my bathroom

to the outside street that I have, just in case

the Rockefeller Estate, of course.

Exactly, yeah.

Should I peruse the comedy Bang Bang Reddit?

I've heard of your tunnel from your bathroom.

It sounds to me.

Can you give us a second?

Because I want to talk to Adam and Barbara and Brittany here for a second again.

Sure.

You could go to the bathroom.

Yeah, go to the bathroom again.

I'm going to get judged if I open up another

video.

Were you going to say file?

Yes.

Yeah, don't open any files.

Are you downloading those files?

It takes so long.

Don't download it.

If you find a favorite, you want to own it.

I believe in owning media.

They say that everything's available to you, but when you get on there, you can't find your favorite movies.

I don't think they're revoking the licenses to porn videos that are out there.

Did you say so?

Public domain.

Give us a second.

Go to the bathroom, the one place with an escape place.

I think that he...

I gotta say, I think he was gone not watching these porn videos.

I think that's weirdly.

I think it's an excuse.

I think it's so we could tell the cops we remember him clearly.

Yeah.

When you see, it's like you want to be memorable so that we know he was dead.

Oh, yeah, he was dead.

He was a weird guy.

Weird guy.

He was watching porn.

He was watching porn in our bathroom the entire time.

I think he

definitely killed his wife.

He killed his wife.

I think he killed.

Yes, yes.

We all think he killed his wife.

Yeah.

I think he killed his wife.

Okay.

Yeah, definitely.

All right.

I'll just go talk to him.

Okay, yeah, go talk to him.

Cool.

Barbara and Brittany and I will hang out here.

Okay.

Wow, this weed Seinfeld guy is pretty funny.

Oh, hello.

Hey.

Hey.

So we just, we kind of all came to a consensus.

Hey, thanks for coming.

Yeah.

And we feel like it's maybe best that you should go out to see the police because we feel like you've killed your wife.

Okay, well, why are you grabbing my phone?

What's he saying in there?

He's actually being really chill about it.

Why are you grabbing my phone?

If you just come with me,

make it easy.

Don't make it hard.

Why are you picking a video?

Listen, don't, don't, don't.

Did you find the videos?

Don't make me press play on this video.

Okay.

Okay.

Now come with me.

Okay.

Don't make me press play.

Okay.

Hey, press play on that video.

Pressing play.

What's the deal with weed?

I mean, why do we call this stuff weed?

What are you watching?

It's an unwanted plan.

I'm paying 50 bucks for the stuff I want.

Watching weed Seinfeld videos.

Or even worse, I think he's watching Brittany.

Ew, you disgusting pervert.

You were watching a weed Seinfeld video that my sister Brittany went to the taping of and laughed at, laughed her ass off at?

Oh,

that's different than what I thought.

Oh, okay.

No, no, no.

What the random thing is, right?

Yeah, they're right.

They were all the same.

She's wrong.

They haven't said that.

Watching weed

Seinfeld have sex with my sister.

He apparently does his act during sex.

What's the deal with that?

Brittany, we said we would never marry and we would never have sex.

What do you have to?

Oh, I know what you have to say, you stupid bitch.

Don't leave it.

Well, I figured out.

Don't leave it.

Let's all notice that Brittany's being crazy.

On the hinge, I think Barbara and Brittany are crazy.

I think we know who the police are here for.

They're being hysterical.

No, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

No, please.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys.

Oh, thanks.

Well, I don't.

I got to get out of here, though.

No, no, I know you do, Adam, but

we all think that you killed your wife, and I think,

you know.

Mr.

Ockerman, even if that's factually accurate, why would you say that on your gosh darn rodeo programme?

Well, this is the podcast of record.

This is where people go to to learn the truth.

The Bang Bang Times.

Yes.

Wow.

The Bang Bang Times.

Well, maybe.

Maybe, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Maybe I did.

You did.

You admit.

Oh my God.

He admitted.

Yeah.

He killed his wife.

So that segue story, that was just.

No, I was the fourth segue.

He was the fourth segue.

Adam, you don't seem surprised.

We gasped.

Yeah, because that's the fourth segue.

Oh,

this makes sense.

Well,

we've had murderers on this show before.

Of course, yeah.

And my friend O.J.

Simpson's been on the show.

Unrelated.

Unrelated, sure.

Yeah, he's just Orbert.

He wanted his memorabilia back.

Yep, Norbert.

So are you?

You had an idea, man?

Yeah, I got ideas.

I got like a movie about a sleepaway camp where everyone's dead except for you.

This is our idea.

We already mailed it to the Writers Guild.

Dang it, Doctor.

Sorry.

All right.

Yeah, it's an alibi.

Yeah.

It was really nice beating the three of you.

you.

It really was.

Yeah, it really was.

But you know what?

We are running out of time.

We only have time for one final feature on this show, and it is, of course, a little something called plugs.

No, you shan't find me in Hackney Town for Hackneys full of thugs.

See, I am an English gentleman, and I wish to hear your plugs.

Obviously, we'll cut before the fart.

I like that one a lot.

That was English Gentle Plugs by Matt Landry, featuring fart.

Thanks so much to Matt Landry and featuring fart.

And if you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com/slash plugs and you can upload it there as well as find anything you'd need for a plugs closing remix.

And Adam, what do we want to plug?

Obviously, an Intimate Evening with Adam Pally comes out this Thursday.

Yeah, Intimate Evening with Adam Pally on Thursday on HBO and Staying Alive podcast on Smartless or Sirius Radio.

You're seeing a live podcast?

Staying alive.

Staying alive.

Oh, I see.

That makes more sense.

Sorry.

Staying alive podcast that I do with John Gaberson's on Smart.

Does that come out every week?

And I'm going to be a guest on that.

You're going to be our next guest.

Yeah.

That's exciting for me.

And

I'll treat you with the same respect you've given us.

I just, and I looked up what the topic of your show is about.

I'm like, I don't know that I have anything to say on that.

You don't.

So it's going to be a fun time.

I think it will be.

I want to talk to Barbara and Brittany.

What do you want to plug here?

Well, Barbara and Brittany have just booked their first gig, which is Idea Man's dating game show.

Whoa, excited.

It's already in the wording.

Yeah, we're really excited.

I thought the business was contracting.

You sold this just off of being on a podcast?

I've seen it before.

It's really incredible.

It's a beat in the room.

And we also want to promote Reika Shunker's movie at Reikamovie.com.

Right.

You can

sign up to learn more about it.

And we're doing these behind-the-scenes Zooms.

We, pretending I'm Reika, are doing behind-the-scenes Zooms that you can can sign up to see it's funny to pretend you're someone you're not i know

that was fun

that came out though because i was right

and the logic was so necessary it was so necessary rakamovie.com is rakamovie.com this is r-e-k-h-a movie you nailed that spot

i'm on that that's my homepage that's your homepage yeah i love it there you're excited yeah i'm very excited and um board uh rob uh uh norbort uh spoon what do you want to plug well plug right after my wife had to be unplugged from the

before I get arrested.

I am going to try to escape to Australia with Holy Shit Improv and do some shows on November 21st or 23rd at the Improv Theater Sydney.

And then I'm hopefully going to sit in Melbourne at the Comedy Republic, Improv Conspiracy, and Speakeasy Theater.

Those are in Melbourne on November 26th through the 30th.

And if you happen to be in LA,

there's a group, Holy Should Improv, they're doing a show on Halloween night in the dark, an improv show in the dark in Los Angeles.

I got asked to do this show and I I it's so strange.

Like, of course I can't do the show on Halloween.

I have a child.

I don't know why I was asked, but sometimes bookers don't have children.

Don't even think of those.

Or also don't know when children start doing stuff.

When their behaviors begin.

Sure, I assume.

Or what time it's over and then they can start around like four or something.

I don't know.

Usually things like that are most convenient for the parents.

It was the quickest no I think I've ever given to

and as a

as someone who is a booker sometimes not nothing better than actually a quick no quick no is actually yeah honestly wonderful yeah worst thing is like give me a day yeah

would love a quick yes probably the best but a quick no is preferable to to a slow yes exactly um that's exactly how i told my publicist to deal with you

you wrote me back immediately i did i know because i love you i love you too and uh you know what else i love i love what i'm about to plug um we have italiano jones and Andre P newer action figures now on sale.

People have been getting these.

I got mine.

They're right up here.

They're gorgeous.

They are now on sale at figurecollections.com.

And that's series two is starting.

So we're going to have some great ones coming up.

We also have in stock Randy Snuts and Carissa, Big Sue, Sprague the Whisperer, J.W.

Stillwater, and some of me

complete your collection.

Also, European customers can go to actionfigureseller.com for cheaper import fees.

And we also, we started doing, this is exciting, a couple of weeks ago when we had Jason Manzukas and my stepfather, Bob Duca, on,

Bob Duca said something that we've turned into a t-shirt.

So it's, we have,

I believe it's you can't afford these mustache rides t-shirts with Bob Duca's face on them.

You can get those right now.

And we also have some CBB throwback tees, Calvin's Twins, Comedy Bing Bong, all joking a salad, Hainong Man shirts.

All of these are available at podswag.com/slash comedy bang bang.

All right,

let's close up the old plug bag.

Ben, you are alive.

All right.

I like that one.

I like when people out there realize what that song that Ben's sang at the beginning of the year sounds like.

Another song.

That was called Don't Go Chasing Plug Bags by Alex Dale.

And guys, I want to thank you so much.

Adam, an intimate evening with Adam Pally.

This is exciting.

Thank you again.

I've seen it already.

I'm one of the lucky few, but

everyone should be out there watching it.

Do you get ratings for stuff like this?

I don't think so.

Do they just tell you?

I think they just go like, hey, it did well.

Like, you know, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know how they're going to, if they, I don't know what they're going to say.

Who knows?

Maybe they never call you again.

They probably, if I'm lucky, they call me like, we hated it.

We hated everything.

No one watched it, and we knew it was a mistake.

No, but check it out.

I know we've had a lot of fun on this show here, but you and I are friends.

We like each other.

I know you.

I know you.

It's a funny thing.

I know you like my comedies guys.

I do.

And also check out your when you hosted the late late show.

Yeah, that's still very similar.

Yeah, that's still on.

Someone told me you can find it on YouTube in dark, like if you take it.

The dark and recession

of the webcast.

It's very funny.

I actually think that might be the future of late-night comedy, just people

not planning anything and just, you know.

Yeah, I hope so.

You know what I mean?

It means there would be late night.

I think that's the way we should go.

Late-night comedy is so overproduced now and with so many talking points that have been pre-planned and all that kind of stuff.

Like what you guys did on that show, I feel like

podcasts, isn't that like Graham Norton or like a chat show?

Yeah, I agree.

Exactly.

Anyway, so I,

if they were to offer you the Colbert slot, just doing what you did on that show, would you take it?

Um, yeah, okay, so would I.

I think you, anybody would

anyone would say no, I would be like, what's wrong with you?

Right, exactly.

Yeah, I would think, and uh, I want to thank Barbara and Brittany Toadfelson.

So wonderful to meet you guys, so wonderful, so wonderful.

And seriously, call up John Mayer and get involved in those sphere shows.

You think, yeah, okay, that's great.

Yeah, I don't need Brittany to talk again.

Yeah, I noticed you fiddling with your phone.

Is her battery low?

And then, look, Bort, Nor Bort,

McSpoon,

I give complete credit.

You can use the one-panel cartoon to make a t-shirt if you want.

I don't know that we'll.

All right, find just a picture of a sweat-stained pillow.

Feel free.

Whatever it wants you about.

Honestly, I don't think they're any worse than any of those people.

But it's at this point during the show that we ceremoniously turn you over to the authorities.

Oh, boy.

Goodbye, buddy.

So, bye.

We'll see you when I look forward to seeing you next time.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, please come back if you ever are paroled.

Right.

Yeah.

No, I'll come back.

Yeah, book me.

I just got to do it.

Try to change your voice.

I got to do mare.

And then I'll do that.

Yeah.

Do mare.

You know what?

Do the final marines.

I'll talk to the police and make sure you get that.

All right, thanks.

We'll see you next week.

Bye.

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