I Can’t Chase 55s (Max Silvestri, Gabe Liedman, Will Hines, Ben Rodgers)

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Speaker 1 Gardening is a pretty expensive hobby when you're bad at it. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Hmm. All right.

Speaker 1 Thanks to Fluter Paradigm369 for that catchphrase submission submitted on January 18th of 2023. Thank you so much.
Just getting around to it. Hope you're still out there, Fluter.

Speaker 1 Hope you're still a regular listener and/or alive. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.
We have a fantastic show. My name is Scott Auckerman.

Speaker 1 Coming up a little later, we have a mentalist. This is exciting.
I don't know that we've ever had a mentalist on the show. I guess we had David Blaine.
Is he a mentalist? I can't remember.

Speaker 1 Anyway, he does something

Speaker 1 indescribable, perhaps. We also have someone in law enforcement, very popular these days.
So we'll be talking to them a little later. But first, let's get to our guests of honor.
This is exciting.

Speaker 1 They're coming in as a team.

Speaker 1 You, first of all, you know him from such shows as Penn15, Q Force, Never Have I Ever,

Speaker 1 a stand-up comedian of much renown. He's entering the exclusive one-timers club.
This is baby. Incredibly exciting.
Please welcome Gabe Leidman. Thank you for finally having me.
That's right.

Speaker 1 We'll talk about it on your long-running show. We'll talk a little bit more about that in a second.
Let me introduce your partner in crime. In 2019,

Speaker 1 this guest

Speaker 1 performed

Speaker 1 at a certain comedy festival, I believe called

Speaker 1 the Great American Comedy Festival in Lincoln, Nebraska. Was it Lincoln, Nebraska? It sure was.
He performed a 10-minute set that rocked the comedy industry. Opening for Dave Collier, was it?

Speaker 1 Yes, he was the headliner doing a mix of comedy and service. Whoa.

Speaker 1 To honor Johnny Carson. He parlayed that heat.

Speaker 1 into a 15-minute Netflix special.

Speaker 1 Mini special. Is that?

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's just a special, right? It doesn't.
It's a quarter hour. It doesn't matter how long it is.
It's a special. It's a special.
It's streaming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the shortest special, that's the longest to say. I have an hour special.
Okay, that's an hour special. That's a half-hour special.
Well, that's a little longer to say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A quarter-hour special. 15-minute is what I would say.
Did it go the whole 15 minutes or did you do 10 with the credits and the music and stuff? Yeah, yeah. It was basically...

Speaker 1 The 10 that you did opening for Koolier? Yeah, and then I took questions about Dave Collier and Johnny Carson.

Speaker 1 Off camera. On camera.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he has been on this show several times to talk about that.

Speaker 1 I want to hear if there are any updates. He's entering the exclusive Seven Timers Club.
Please welcome Max Silvestri. Wow.
Thanks for having me back.

Speaker 1 To maybe even arguably do more than just talk about that set this week. I don't know about that.
But let's talk to Gabe first. Okay.

Speaker 1 Gabe,

Speaker 1 I had sworn that you were on the show before.

Speaker 1 You would think. I would think.
You have so many great comedians on your show. So I looked it up.
I said, let me see what timers club he's entering. Is it two? Is it three?

Speaker 1 Here's the AI overview when I entered your name in Comedy Bang Bang. Okay.
Comedian and writer Gabe Liebman is a frequent and well-regarded guest on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast. I know.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank God. He has appeared both as himself and as various characters on the show.
Oh, my God. Thank God.
Key details about Liebman's association with Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 1 Characters and improvisation. Like many guests, Liebman has showcased his improvisational skills by creating memorable characters.
Such as.

Speaker 1 In an episode titled Franklin and Bash, he appeared alongside Scott Ackerman and others. Okay, and that was John Levinstein's.

Speaker 1 I thought that just was a completely different thing. Perennial favorite.
In 2014, in a 2014 Decider article, he was described as a perennial favorite on Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 1 Acknowledging his established status as a welcomed and beloved guest. What the fuck is this? Slaying the elephant in the room by acknowledging

Speaker 1 his preferred status. Decider has been hacked.
We know that.

Speaker 1 No one is safe. Well, welcome back to the show.

Speaker 1 It's a pleasure to have you back. I love being here.
I love playing characters here. I love being myself here.
We don't have characters on the show. I don't know what that is.
Got it, got it, got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But it's wonderful to have comedians on as well as people from all walks of life.
That's right. That's what I meant.
And it's wonderful to have you on.

Speaker 1 I've been a big fan of yours for a long time, and yet the stars have never aligned. I know, it's weird.
Mainly, I don't have any of your contact information. Well,

Speaker 1 you could probably guess it,

Speaker 1 okay? To be honest, I think probably everyone else out there probably could too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I guess the stars haven't aligned, but they finally have. And I think it's, it's, I think we're set up to do something great today.
Fantastic. And now, Max,

Speaker 1 let's go, let's turn our gaze backwards a little bit to 2019. 2019.
2019.

Speaker 1 You are booked on a certain comedy festival, the Great American Comedy Festival, I believe is what it was called.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 are flown out there. Was it a PJ?

Speaker 1 Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
No, no.

Speaker 1 I was given an Avis voucher. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for mid-size sedan and smaller. Did you drive out there? No, I was just given an Avis sedan.
and they said, Do what you want.

Speaker 1 Okay, and I blew myself out. It was an all-in, an all-in offer.
That's awesome. Which I think means you just cover your own.
You cover your own.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sounds like it's going to be like an all-in offer does sound

Speaker 1 CYT. Yeah, you think, oh, you've gotten a $500 all-in offer to go to the Great American Comedy.
It sounds like a resort where you're going to get everything.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do so many bottom shelf margaritas. They're going to have to escort me out of there with a gun.
But instead, that just meant that you pay for everything.

Speaker 1 A small check that they said. That's awesome.
I see. So did you come out in the black or in the red? Do you recall?

Speaker 1 You know, I think if you were to just think of that distinction from a monetary perspective, which many do, sure. Which many say like.

Speaker 1 Specifically, I may have asked about that. But I feel like

Speaker 1 now looking, you know how when they say like, oh, a movie didn't do well at the box office,

Speaker 1 what they're really looking at is like, okay, after eight weeks, it didn't make its budget back with

Speaker 1 like tickets sold at the box office. But if you look long-term in the way that the movie then gets sold to HBO, re-airs, has DVD issues, you're like, well, actually long term.

Speaker 1 Long-term, it actually was a good, safe investment. As was your 10 minutes at the Lincoln, Nebraska Festival, because you took...

Speaker 1 Everyone was talking about it, first of all. You came on this show before it happened to plug it.
Yep. You came on the show a couple months later to talk about how it went.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Everyone, I mean, the whole city was a buzz yeah we honored its five-year anniversary last year

Speaker 1 so people are still talking about people are still talking about it and then you capitalized on this yeah in such a canny way yeah by then getting a special exact a special yes that was 50 longer than the set i mean i do think that's look you could put your money in a savings account at the bank and make what two percent per year sure yeah if you're lucky but you got got to look for those moments in the market where you can rapidly accumulate wealth, influence, crypto.

Speaker 1 Exactly. This was my crypto moment where I said, like, I probably should only be doing an 11-minute special based on what I've pulled off in Lincoln.
But now with the buzz,

Speaker 1 I can go all in. I love that.
And do 15. And you and Coolier are still very close.
Extremely close. Yes.
So that made off. You were the ball cap along with

Speaker 1 John Stamos when you visited him in the hospital, did you not?

Speaker 1 Let's bring the picture out yeah let's get the picture the three of you so i you know a lot of pictures you're cropped out because because you're not at quite a hand gesture i was making exactly and it's not the first two you guess uh

Speaker 1 but no so dave and i still have a very fruitful relationship that i kind of think of as the money i got from that right like anytime he needs to give a speech at like a policeman's union dinner or you know some a battered children's home or something like that.

Speaker 1 I'm doing jokes. They have a home.
I love that. They do.
Yeah. They shouldn't be in their main one.
That's right.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 I would think it would be a home full of kids with

Speaker 1 other problems too, but it's just, you know, it seems like they're losing little problems. No, they have their own needs, like real soft furniture, stuff like that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Now, have you, we talked about this in the five-year anniversary. Yep.
Have you been invited back to Lincoln, Nebraska to celebrate?

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 because I would, and we talked about this a little bit a year ago. I would love to moderate a panel about

Speaker 1 this, about this incredible set.

Speaker 1 We put it in the air just a year ago. We put it in the air

Speaker 1 and nothing. Yeah.
Bookkis. Haven't heard a single thing.
I was wondering, I haven't spoken to you in a year.

Speaker 1 I was wondering if maybe you'd heard something.

Speaker 1 Are they going behind Scott's back? Right. To do something.
To organize this. Yeah, they're like, let's have it moderated by someone we can afford.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Someone who's willing to drive their own car out there.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Here's what I think because I was hoping the same thing would happen.

Speaker 1 I was like, you know, this is a nice opportunity as we round the corner into the sixth anniversary of the set to do something with me.

Speaker 1 And what I've also, I think, brought to the festival's awareness, because I think we ended up helping each other quite a bit. Sure.

Speaker 1 I don't think anyone has talked about that festival as much as we have. Absolutely not.
Ever, ever. It's true.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 I think that there were some hurt feelings because at the end of the day, this festival is about raising the profile of Johnny Carson's legacy.

Speaker 1 And it seems like perhaps your fame is eclipsing his at this point. It does feel that way.
It's much more current.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 for sure.

Speaker 1 Anything going on with your childhood home? Has that been cordoned off at all? Like, oh, no, this is a historical preserved site.

Speaker 1 My mom did redo the carpets in the townhouse she bought after I moved away. So in some ways, I do feel like...
Oh, yeah, oh, this is, you know, a special space. What'd you do with it? What'd she redo?

Speaker 1 Like, redo, like replace them or she took the existing carpets and somehow made a quilt

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 she painted them in her basement studio so now they're just they're they're it's kind of tacky i love that

Speaker 1 i love that wow like frosting um no i mean i because i'm current johnny is trying to and when i say johnny i mean the stewards of his legacy. He's long dead.
Right. Sure.

Speaker 1 But he left explicit instructions in his will, I would imagine, of what to do, who to invite to this festival.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like how many many steam trays of barbecue to serve at the lunch at his childhood home stuff like that um i just think it's like he's clinging on to some sort of primacy that's just not his i almost feel bad for him it's sort of pathetic i do yeah i feel really bad for johnny carson

Speaker 1 it's embarrassing yeah it's weird he's being weird yeah so i think if i were to hear right now like if i were to get a text from the festival organizers, an emergency text, like emergency text, like one that, like, do you have the sound on for texts from

Speaker 1 they're added to my group that breaks through everything. It's basically my wife,

Speaker 1 my mother, and then the festival.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So if so, if suddenly we hear a noise, a pinging noise or something, we know it's the festival or your wife or your mother.
Yeah. And but if you were to get one right now, what would you say?

Speaker 1 I would say that I've moved on. I have

Speaker 1 a new, speaking of talk show and my new of my own, kind of my own Carson thing with my friends Gabe and Jenny.

Speaker 1 And so I don't have room to just honor a guy who used to do it because I'm doing it right now. Because you're doing it right now.

Speaker 1 There, there should, perhaps some people are saying that there should be a festival in your honor one day. I would go.
Yeah. Yeah.
Would you perform at it? I would think about it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll see where I end up in the lineup. Okay.
Let's say that

Speaker 1 I'm mowed down by a truck. Okay.
Leaving this. Could you just be hit by a joke? Like mowed down.
I think he wants to be scraped a little bit. Yeah, I want him to back up after thinking it was okay.

Speaker 1 But then that's when they make it worse. That's if you're ever in an accident and you think you hit something, back up.
Just to check. Yeah.
To look out your window. Yeah.
Real herky jerky. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 So I'm gone, and obviously a festival is planned to honor like both what I did, but also what we were robbed of by me. Sure, what you what you could have done.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 And you and Gabe

Speaker 1 were in charge with organizing a QA.

Speaker 1 In charge of organizing it, but not participating in it? That's your choice. I guess we'll work out who's moderating.
Okay, well, how are we going to work this out? You're getting $2,000.

Speaker 1 Pro Shambeau?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 So my wife is giving you guys a check for $2,000 to spend. It's all in.
However, you want to, and that's venue stuff. You can pay yourself.
Avis stuff.

Speaker 1 Whatever you say, venue stuff, what are you talking about? Like, we have to rent the venue? It's all in.

Speaker 1 Wow. So, your venue stuff, I mean, I would think that would be taken care of.
Like, hey, this is

Speaker 1 not the way I'd be. We're going to do cash bar.
Okay, 100%. And that can go back towards you guys or I can choose to help my family.

Speaker 1 But ultimately, what other guests are you asking to come on and speak?

Speaker 1 Wait, is this like a memorial service for you? Or I just thought we would do a QA or something. You want us to take, I mean, I don't even know who your friends are, honestly.
Well, Coolier is there.

Speaker 1 Coolier, okay. He's probably,

Speaker 1 yeah. Yeah.
And you can absolutely just softball questions about

Speaker 1 the show that

Speaker 1 Full House, Full House, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was hard to choose which television shows in the history of the medium. What are the shows? Johnny Carson Show,

Speaker 1 or other shows. No, it doesn't have to be like I didn't know Johnny personally, but they chose me to honor his memory for the 10 minutes.
So, who's keeping your legacy alive? Thank you, Katie.

Speaker 1 To us, I guess. I guess.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the truck driver. Yeah, we can get him involved.
Yeah, he's put you on the map.

Speaker 1 Literally. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, this sounds good. Yeah, this sounds great.
I'm just saying that if something were to happen, you kind of now have the receipts, as they say. That's not how they use it or how they say it.

Speaker 1 But you now know what I would like, which is

Speaker 1 we know your wishes. Yeah, he doesn't need a will.
Yeah. This is a living will.
This podcast will serve as a living will for Max Silvestri.

Speaker 1 If you're my legal Zoom representative listening to this, you can delete the document that I created. Yeah, do you want to get any of your other details of your will out here?

Speaker 1 Since this is, I guess, the podcast of record? I want my baby to live in Seattle. Okay, whoever.
So someone's got to. Even if my wife survives.
It's kind of a baby. Got to move there.

Speaker 1 So you guys don't live in Seattle currently. No, no, no.
We have no family in Seattle. I just think it's beautiful in the summer.
Pike Place, catching fish. And you don't want to move there.

Speaker 1 Just if you were to die. Yeah, if I were to die, I think it would be a great way to offer me

Speaker 1 to catch the fish in the summer.

Speaker 1 Catch a mariner's game out of the view of the

Speaker 1 sound. So much to catch there.
There is a lot of catching. Mariner's games.
Do you mean fish from the guys throwing it around in the Pike

Speaker 1 Place market? Of course I do. Yeah.
What else would you think I meant? Where else do they catch fish? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I was imagining like your wonderful wife going out into the ocean and then throwing a fish at your baby. Obviously, the main way to catch fish is in a newspaper as a tourist at the Pike Place market.

Speaker 1 That's where everyone's mind goes to. Yeah.
And then the second way might be in a boat to feed your family. You go in Gum Alley and you stick it up on the boat.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dry it out nice.

Speaker 1 Come back a couple weeks later. That's the life I want for my infant.
Well, this is great.

Speaker 1 I hope that we hear something from the festival just for closure on our parts because we're going to keep doing this, I think, every year until we hear from them.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 but,

Speaker 1 you know, let's put all of that aside and talk about what's going on currently with you both because it would surprise no one to know that you currently have a project together. Whoa.

Speaker 1 You've worked separately in the past, yet you've been such close friends.

Speaker 1 You have entered into the podcast games. Is this true? Would you say we're right on time?

Speaker 1 I think so. I mean, you're now your peers, your colleagues.

Speaker 1 Do you remember kind of talking us out of a podcast like maybe 13 or 14 years ago? I don't, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 When was this? Was this when we went to the page? Did you talk us out?

Speaker 1 Like, you were encouraging and you were like, you know, you were the, you, as you remain the comedy podcast, you know, pro-godfather.

Speaker 1 Podfather is an easier way to say that. Oddfather? Podfather.

Speaker 1 Podfather. Did you say odd father? You're our odd father.
That's how we all think of him.

Speaker 1 Was this when we went to dinner in Venice that one time?

Speaker 1 Maybe it was in the where there was an email where it's like, you know, I do this, you know, Gabe and Jenny and I, like, we do this chatty, fun live show in New York, and it feels like it would make sense to do as a podcast.

Speaker 1 You emailed me this? Yeah, I probably could find it. Okay.
I would love, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, but you were just like, you guys really should think harder about

Speaker 1 in an encouraging way. This is you trying to develop and engage.
Do the work. Do the work.
You're like, what is the show? Like, what is it each week? And is it about guests?

Speaker 1 Is there segments? You kind of need something. It sounds like stuff that I would say when I'm trying to get people out of my

Speaker 1 way out of your way.

Speaker 1 It definitely didn't feel like there were collaborative action items at the end of the email. It was more.

Speaker 1 Here's what you need to do in order for me to pay for. That's what I'm assuming you wanted, is me to open up my checkbook and pay you guys to do a podcast.
Is that what this is?

Speaker 1 Kind of. Yeah, probably.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Buy us microphones? I don't know. It wasn't a heavy lift.
I wasn't taking you out there. Buying microphones is a heavy lift.
Yes.

Speaker 1 If you knew the fucking, all of the hassle it took to get these in here. Well, these are stunning.
They're beautiful. These are stunning.

Speaker 1 Covered in gold. But no, it was

Speaker 1 you were a little like,

Speaker 1 it's a hard, it's harder than it seems, which of course it is. It's a saturated market.
True. So you really got it.
And this was 13 years

Speaker 1 ago. So we, so we let it fill up a little more.
Uh-huh. We, yeah.
We waited until it was

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 like oversaturated fat, like a balloon about to explode. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's got the little meniscus. Finally, what?

Speaker 1 On top. And maybe my advice back then made sense, and it doesn't now.
The podcast game has changed in 13 years.

Speaker 1 Because now, what is the concept of your show? It's called I Need You Guys. Is that right? Yeah.
What is the concept?

Speaker 1 The concept is this is our way of keeping in touch now that we're adults, that we live our lives separately.

Speaker 1 Our co-host, Jenny Slate, she lives on the East Coast now, and this is a way of keeping like. She said the F-word on SNL once, right? She did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it came right out. That's what she's famous for, right? Yeah.
Yeah. And since then, she's been taking it easy.
Yeah. She's ultimately been making amends to children.
And she's still on the show.

Speaker 1 She's one by one, right? Yeah, exactly. She still.
It takes a long time. That was 10 years or so ago.
It was. I mean, she's still on the show.
They just don't show her.

Speaker 1 Right, because she's so busy apologizing. Yeah, the crew.
Yeah. Yeah.
She checks all the cue cards to make sure that work's not on there again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was what happened. It was on the cue cards.
It was. So it's not her fault.

Speaker 1 Why didn't she ever throw the cue card guy under the bus? Because he's got a family. Yeah.
Oh,

Speaker 1 because he's got a family. 15 kids.
Yeah. From 16 moms.
Incredible. Yeah.
Wow. So we.

Speaker 1 So he was a donor for a gay couple?

Speaker 1 Yeah, a couple. Yeah.
Yeah. But only one worked out.
Okay. If that makes sense.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So this podcast is us kind of relying on each other to live our adult lives.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Coming to the table with questions. How would you guys handle this kind of situation? We also

Speaker 1 let listeners ask us questions and give very

Speaker 1 non-expert advice. Yeah.
So people weirdly look up to us.

Speaker 1 It's a low-concept podcast, which I think 13 years ago maybe didn't make sense all that much and now is refreshing. It is.
My other show, Threedom, is that's what we do.

Speaker 1 It's just three friends talking and

Speaker 1 nowadays I would say it's all based on the personalities. And if people like you, then

Speaker 8 they'll follow your show anywhere.

Speaker 1 That's what we're hoping. We wanted to make sure that there was no money in the game anymore.
Yes. And then we jumped right in.
With every company, every company closing as well. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Because if there was money,

Speaker 1 I would be so distracted with getting it. Counting it.
And being like, this work equals money. Seeing what color it is.
The coins can be so loud. Yeah.
I don't know how you address that.

Speaker 1 We wanted to wait till it was just the love of the game.

Speaker 1 And you know what? We weren't ready 13 years ago. That's right.
I would say that's probably, that was the kind of subtext of my email. Yeah.
You're not ready. It's such a long email.

Speaker 1 I think it was super text. It felt like you might have even headlined the paragraphs and underlined a part.
Yeah. Like, why you're not ready?

Speaker 1 And then it was, then it was like more conversational, but the summary parts were. So

Speaker 1 I wrote this email to you. There was like notes on our bodies.

Speaker 1 I had a laser pointer, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I wrote this email. Did you ever respond to it?

Speaker 1 But whatever happened, you guys decided not to go forward. Right.
Well, yeah. I remember that.
I think we were responding right now. Yeah, this is.

Speaker 1 That was good advice.

Speaker 1 Gabe was going to respond the second he came on the pod, which he assumed. It took a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Waiting for that invite.

Speaker 8 Were you CC'd on this?

Speaker 1 Do I actually have your info? It's possible. Let me look.
Actually, I'm going to look up this, first of all, this email and just see if, do I have your customer service at Target?

Speaker 1 I got it right there.

Speaker 1 I have, I have, it looks to be like 20 emails from you.

Speaker 1 Please, please, please. Can I be on your show? I'm begging you.
I think a lot of, let's see, some of them have to do with award shows.

Speaker 1 Spirit Awards. Yep.

Speaker 1 The Golden Globes. Sure.
Yeah. I wrote some Golden Globes.
Oh, for Andy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was in Tokyo that year, but I was sending in jokes. Okay.
Yeah. All your jokes are about Tokyo, so they couldn't make sense.
A lot of the movies weren't about Tokyo that year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Movie presenters, but I'm looking for.

Speaker 1 Anything personal in there? Oh, visiting.

Speaker 1 NYC Comic here. Oh, that? Okay, this we could talk about.
Okay, so you do your live show. Here we go.
This is to do you to do the live show. This is in 2009.
Can I please do your live show in 2009?

Speaker 1 What do you have loved to have had you on? What did I say? What happened? Oh, I never

Speaker 1 replied. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no.

Speaker 1 I said, hey,

Speaker 1 I'm not booking that far in advance yet. Usually it was a last minute, like the week of.
That's so cool. And you were emailing me to say you were coming out in

Speaker 1 two months. Okay.
And I said, I'm not booking that far in advance. Can you resend this email in 2010 2010 for the future?

Speaker 1 And you said, 100%. That's easy.

Speaker 1 And then you emailed in 2009 still

Speaker 1 and said, following up. And then

Speaker 1 I never responded. That's right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So can I do it?

Speaker 1 Well, you know.

Speaker 1 I don't really book that anymore because I didn't write you back. M-Bar got weird or whatever.
Oh, actually, and by the way, I think I was,

Speaker 1 I think I was doing the weird first season of my TV show

Speaker 1 then, too. I think I was filming then.
Congratulations. It's just not a good time for me.
Yeah, well, I'll sorry. I'll follow up.
I'll follow up.

Speaker 1 But man, you've had this email address for a while. Yeah.
And so have you. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, let me look for Max's email here. I, I was looking.
I couldn't find.

Speaker 1 I will, I just want to say you were, you were polite and you were just asking us to incorrect ultimately. Yeah, of course.
And honestly, I didn't really know you all that well or your work.

Speaker 1 No, it was generous of you to even offer feedback.

Speaker 1 You hadn't run it, you hadn't been to Lincoln yet. The

Speaker 1 earliest email I have from you is 2011.

Speaker 1 And you said happy birthday to me. Aw.

Speaker 1 In 2011, you said it was nice hanging out last week. What did we do in 2011?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, here we go. 2011.
Hey, sounds interesting. Can you give me a rundown of the concept idea of the show? Barf.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what? Maybe we got on the phone.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 this makes sense. I don't like to leave a paper trail.

Speaker 1 I wrote a couple sentences up, and it was, they were loose. They were like, we're friends in New York, and we have a live show, and now we're trying to monetize it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, Max, I have thoughts about this. If you want to hop on the phone, I could.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's generous.

Speaker 1 That's huge. All of this is generous.
And this is in 2011? Yep. So when I'm doing the second season of my television show,

Speaker 1 slammed. It was about like two years after you

Speaker 1 ghosted me. Yeah.
If that just

Speaker 1 helped you remember kind of

Speaker 1 a year and a half. Yeah.
We got on the phone and you were like, how married are you to Gabe Leibniz being as part of this? Right. Because I

Speaker 1 intentionally never got back to him a year and a half ago.

Speaker 1 I have some thoughts.

Speaker 1 This show should just turn into reading old emails, old business emails between

Speaker 1 friendly peers. Absolutely, yeah.
Totally. There was no hard feelings, but I just do feel like it's nice to come.

Speaker 1 You're the only one who remembers this occurring, and you intentionally didn't do your show because of whatever feedback I gave you. Because it just seemed hard.
And now it's easy. No, yeah.

Speaker 1 And thank you. I don't think our friendship would have survived if we had had to do the entrepreneurial work.
Oh, my God. If we had to do the legwork of this.

Speaker 1 industry on our owns.

Speaker 1 Nowadays your friendship is rock solid. You can

Speaker 1 traverse through the podcasting game.

Speaker 1 We know who is gonna take care of what yeah we're not like nervously thinking we are all something we're not we're just you know one of you is not gonna respond to emails right not not gonna not gonna be good at scheduling correct which one of that is you

Speaker 1 we're both okay at scheduling i've gotten better about responding to emails i used to have the like

Speaker 1 Guys, I promise I will get back to this in two weeks. I'm setting time.
I'm

Speaker 1 putting, you know, that kind of like, next Friday, everything clears up for me. I have a friend who, by the way, anytime I contact him,

Speaker 1 he responds within 30 seconds. And

Speaker 1 I find it refreshing because we all pretend that we don't have these devices in our hands all the time where we're getting the messages, emails, or texts immediately, and we're not looking at it within five seconds of it being sent.

Speaker 1 We should just respond. But instead, we put it aside going like, that'll keep.
I don't want to seem too thirsty. Yeah.
And then you forget about it for weeks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to write an absolute essay tonight. Yes.
That's the one where I'm like, this deserves more

Speaker 1 of a response. And then I never get around to it.
It like double hurts. Right.
I got to really put some thought into you. Exactly.
Let me send you an email. Do you think I should wipe my teeth?

Speaker 1 And you're like, okay.

Speaker 1 I got to sit with it. Really do a pros and cons list.
Yeah. What is he looking to hear? Or what should he hear?

Speaker 1 No, yeah. We now know everybody's weaknesses and it no longer upsets us.
That's good. That's the main thing is that was just like, it doesn't, Jenny's going to always be bad at computers.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be able to do that. Her computer is never going to work.
Yep. The tech is not going to work.
And

Speaker 1 is this via Zoom? Because Jenny lives in New York, is that right? And you're both in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 It's over Zoom. Are you guys in the same room or are all three?

Speaker 1 We're all on Zoom in our comfort. Okay.
And that's yeah, that's that's the sign of a nice, comfortable podcast where you can be on Zoom and not have to worry about things like timing and yeah,

Speaker 1 parking, stuff like that. Parking, yeah.
I hate listening to a podcast going, where did these people park? Where did they park?

Speaker 1 Is it stressful when they got there? Yeah. Like it was for me to do Gabris and and Adam Pally show recently.
And

Speaker 1 I wanted to get validated from Sirius, and they said, oh, no, the gate's open. And then I went down there and the goddamn gate was closed.
And I had to call them. And then somebody else.

Speaker 1 Are they the head gum thing where you got to like park at an angle? Right.

Speaker 1 R.I.P. Oh, really? No.
I have no idea.

Speaker 1 It seems so, and who knows? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 this is a Sirius podcast,

Speaker 1 which also is a co-pro with Smartlist. Yeah, Smartlist D, yeah.
Exactly. Kind of the, you know, three people, three friends.
Three times. Are you part of the phone plan thing?

Speaker 1 No, but Sean Hayes did plug it on an episode of our show.

Speaker 1 He plugged the phone plan. He sure did.
On your show. Yeah.
Right. Kind of like with a natural segue.
I mean, yeah, he's a very professional guy. Yeah.
And it was like winking, but also

Speaker 1 he fucking lands at it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Winking like with both eyes or

Speaker 1 because that's just a blink. Sorry, he was nodding off.

Speaker 1 Yes. He was going to sleep.
But you wouldn't have heard it in his voice. Yeah, winking, blinking, and not.
That's what he did. Well, this show is out there right now, a few episodes out already.

Speaker 1 I need you guys, is the show. And you have guests on? We do.

Speaker 1 And is it a guest every week or is it

Speaker 1 right now? Until we've burned bridges.

Speaker 1 But yeah, our first couple episodes, we have John Malina. I might take a week half after Coolier because there'll be a lot to sort of talk about.
That is a two-part. That's a two-part.

Speaker 1 Like Gallagher on WTF. You want to sort of like do the post-mortem on that.
Also, I think WTF ended, so you guys are getting in right at the right time.

Speaker 1 You could be the podcast of record where you chase after

Speaker 1 old comics who are hacks and current presidents. Yeah, Bruce Springsteen or whatever.
I can't wait to see who's president next because we're going to talk to them. Yep.

Speaker 1 I think so. Well, I need you guys out there right now.
Several episodes are out currently. You can get it wherever podcasts are sold.
How much are you selling these for? Is this like 16 an episode?

Speaker 1 17 an episode? Well, it's $15.99. $15.
Oh, that's easy. But it's basically $16.
Okay, got it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 $16 an episode. It's a steal at twice the price.
We're going to take a break. We have a mentalist coming up.
That's exciting, right?

Speaker 1 And we also have someone in law enforcement.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it's a good show.
That's a cute. This is exciting.
Can you guys stick around? I would love to. Yeah.
I'm going to. Okay, great.
Yeah. I will too.
Okay, great. All right.

Speaker 1 We're going to be right back with more Max Silvestri, more Gabe Liebman. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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Speaker 1 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Max Silvestri and Gabe Leidman.
The podcast is I Need You Guys.

Speaker 1 With co-hosted by Jenny Slate,

Speaker 1 who

Speaker 1 is an old, old friend of yours. How long have you guys known each other? I met Jenny in Y2K.
Whoa. Puts us on the dot 25 years.
Yeah. Incredible.
Yeah. And Max?

Speaker 1 About 20, 21. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, and did you meet them as a

Speaker 1 couple? Yes. As a romantic couple.
As a romantic couple. A married couple.
Yeah. And I was trying to get in there.
Right.

Speaker 1 You were a unicorn. And it still might happen.

Speaker 1 Attention drives, I think, our show. And I'm it's such a bummer that you have, you know, the like one woman a month policy, whatever.
Like it just didn't work out for you. One woman a month policy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, on the show. It would have been great to have her on the show.
Which usually works out great. I tried.

Speaker 1 You know, I know you guys wanted her on, but unfortunately, I never responded to the emails.

Speaker 5 Right, right.

Speaker 1 You'll get around to it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We need to get to our next guest. He's in law enforcement.

Speaker 1 Do you guys, have you ever met anyone in law enforcement, ever been in trouble with the law at all?

Speaker 1 I've been pulled over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did like an illegal car wash in. Whoa.
Yeah. Like no, like legal bikini car wash? Whoa.
The bikinis were too modest. That's why we got okay.
So it was like a scam

Speaker 1 was what made it illegal. They were the old-style bathing costumes.
Yeah. People were freaking out.
Yeah. The 20s with the stripes.
Yeah, I would have been pissed as well.

Speaker 1 No, we were like ninth graders trying to wash people's cars at a stoplight with no

Speaker 1 permit and kind of just screaming at the cars and yelling at them if they wouldn't let us rub a dirty rag. And then cops pulled into the parking lot to yell at us and ran over my friend's foot.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then there's a lawsuit. Did they say sorry? Oh, there was a lawsuit.
Yeah, because they crushed his foot. Fuck.
Wow. Yeah.
But we were doing the bad stuff, but then ran over a child's foot.

Speaker 1 Damn. Incredible.
Did it get huge like a cartoon?

Speaker 1 It throbbed with his heartbeat.

Speaker 1 Well, let's get to him. He is in law enforcement.
Please welcome Ethan Merck.

Speaker 8 Scott, thanks for having me on. Hi.

Speaker 1 Great to have you on. Yeah.
Pleasure to meet you. This is Max.
This is is Gabe. Max, Gabe.
It's great to meet you. Pleasure to meet you.

Speaker 8 This podcast you guys are doing sounds great.

Speaker 1 Oh, thanks. You should subscribe.
Okay, I'll do it.

Speaker 1 Can you smash that like button?

Speaker 8 Sure. Is it required that I hit it with such intensity, or could I just tap it neutrally?

Speaker 1 I would go hard. Yeah, I'd be sure you smash it.
You want to feel it?

Speaker 1 You want to feel it? Consider it smash. You should startle the people in the library.
That's how I feel.

Speaker 8 Well, I'm a smartlist completist. So

Speaker 8 I'll be all over that.

Speaker 1 So, how do you like Gabris and Pally show?

Speaker 8 It's terrific.

Speaker 8 Finally, Gabris is letting loose.

Speaker 8 I'm a huge John Gabris fan, and my big complaint about him so far is he reins it in too much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 8 Too much filter.

Speaker 1 Great to see him taken off the leash. It's great.
It's great.

Speaker 8 And Pally's just a lovely guy that I talk to all the time.

Speaker 1 Well, it's great to have you, Ethan. And you're in law enforcement.
In what capacity are you

Speaker 1 enforcing the law?

Speaker 8 Law enforcement's sort of been my lifelong career. Right now, I am a bounty hunter.
Oh,

Speaker 1 freelance. Nice.

Speaker 8 For hire to return

Speaker 8 bad guys

Speaker 8 to either law enforcement agencies or sometimes directly to the wronged parties.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 For the wronged party to do what to them.

Speaker 8 If someone has gone beyond the reach of the law or to a point where the law is no longer interested,

Speaker 8 my services are available to bring these people to justice.

Speaker 1 Wow. This sounds,

Speaker 1 and pardon me, maybe you guys aren't getting this sense, but I'm really good. After 16 years of the show, I'm really good at reading people.

Speaker 8 I can tell. I feel deeply seen.

Speaker 1 This sounds a little weird. Oh, okay.

Speaker 8 Honestly, so far, I feel like this is straight and normal.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I mean, it's... I feel like I'm right along the line.

Speaker 8 I mean, you ask any bounty hunter, you're going to get a.

Speaker 1 But I, as a private citizen,

Speaker 1 if I have a disagreement with my wife, I guess,

Speaker 8 believe me, that's often how it starts.

Speaker 1 I can pay you money to have her physically brought back

Speaker 1 to me.

Speaker 8 That is correct. Because I told you.

Speaker 1 You've hired me.

Speaker 8 You've secured my services.

Speaker 1 I told you with money, but like, I told you. I told you with you.
I don't know if you have any proof.

Speaker 1 It sounds like kidnapping to me.

Speaker 1 Well, perhaps

Speaker 8 we're going to nitpick and try to.

Speaker 1 I don't mean to be pedantic about things.

Speaker 8 Please don't be pedantic.

Speaker 1 The ransom's up front, is what we're sounding.

Speaker 8 I'll say that I do a little vetting to see if it feels like there is, if in my opinion, it feels just.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about when you say you do it?

Speaker 8 Fee ranges, but we're talking usually several thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, what type of stuff do you do to vet them, not how much it costs?

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 8 Never been good at sales.

Speaker 1 I jumped right to the. Yeah, I don't get, I mean, look, I just think about it.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'm hiring you, honestly.

Speaker 8 Okay, just a couple grand would be just to, just to have a, you know, for something easy, quick and easy.

Speaker 1 Well, what's quick and easy?

Speaker 8 Quick and easy is if the target is slow, if there's evidence that the target is easy to get.

Speaker 8 like if I had clear sight lines to her, if you had clear sight lines and it's like your wife, and I don't know anything about your wife, so this is about a hypothetical.

Speaker 1 But were you to do the vetting, you would see how slow or fast.

Speaker 8 How easily gettable she seemed to be. Is she living her life mostly, you know, on the lamb?

Speaker 1 Is she how are you ascertaining this? Are you going on their Instagram page, seeing if there's any videos or reels, I guess they call them, of her running?

Speaker 8 Yeah, sure. That'd be great.
If there's Instagram reels of them actually running to scale with something that I could measure, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 When you say to scale, what do you mean like next to a pencil or like the bone collector, like a dollar bill? So you want to meet them.

Speaker 8 Exactly. Next to something.

Speaker 1 Just like the bone collector.

Speaker 8 Well, for example, if your wife's running in a meadow, okay, next to just a bunch of rocks, I don't know what's going on. She could be 50 feet away.

Speaker 1 The rocks could be running. Right.
You know, we have a lot of rings. I mean, I have so much of this footage.
Well, then this would be great.

Speaker 1 A ring security footage of her running flat out as hard as she can out the front door in the middle of the night. Great, really.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Well, because, you know,

Speaker 1 we get into it and we start yelling at stuff. And this is a lot of what's

Speaker 1 mainly

Speaker 1 protect the neighbors because you don't want to be so loud and wake them up. Yeah, I send a next door alert being like, it's not an animal.
It's, you know,

Speaker 1 my wife not understanding. It's a lot more common.
But I complained about that.

Speaker 8 It's a lot more common than you think. Got it.

Speaker 8 People might be embarrassed to say that their wife's running out in the middle of the night multiple times on camera.

Speaker 1 Very common. Very common.

Speaker 8 I would, in fact, say that in my own anecdotal estimation, 95% of couples experience repeated runnings out in the middle of the day.

Speaker 1 If they're coming to you, though.

Speaker 8 If they're coming to me.

Speaker 1 Which means they already have a problem.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it's a little bit

Speaker 8 self-selecting. No one's getting selected.

Speaker 1 People who have contacted us.

Speaker 1 It's not like you're out there being contacted by people saying, like, hey, by the way, I have no problem this week.

Speaker 1 I don't want to hire you. Right.

Speaker 1 There's no control group that I'm in touch with.

Speaker 8 I'm not doing a really extensive census.

Speaker 1 But of the people who find me

Speaker 8 and get in touch with me, 95% of them are in a situation where a a loved one or business associate is running away.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I want a few, I'm on the right side here. Of course.

Speaker 8 I'm going after bad guys only.

Speaker 1 And you said you do some vetting to figure out if they're bad people.

Speaker 8 I do some vetting to see, hey, is this something worth getting involved in? Do I feel right?

Speaker 1 No, you said that you did vetting to see if

Speaker 1 they were bad people, not if it's worth it to you to get involved in it.

Speaker 8 Both, actually. I mean, like, is it going to be worth my time? What's the publicity going to be for this? Can I get it? Am I going to get a good reference after?

Speaker 8 And also, do I stand by it morally right okay you know that makes sense gabe i've never met you before in my life but you're a comedian you're in the entertainment business that's right i bet you've stabbed some backs i bet you had your back stabbed i have there you go

Speaker 1 you've had emails unreturned i have been ghosted and i have ghosted so there you go you've been on both sides yeah so if one of these cases was ever costing you so much emotional trauma right or money and you needed to get a bounty hunter involved i would be somebody you like to get it but then you'd have to convince me that you were wronged right like if i wanted you to track down like the person who hosts like a live comedy show in Los Angeles that I hosted.

Speaker 1 And by the way, just booked.

Speaker 1 Right. I wouldn't even perform.
I was doing this out of the goodness. For free.
Out of the goodness of my heart.

Speaker 8 You'd have to convince me that you were an extremely wronged party in that situation. Now, I did just hear the facts of this case that you are so coyly alluding to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What do you think?

Speaker 8 I feel like it's right down the middle.

Speaker 1 Right down the middle. Did it go either way? I could have followed up one more time, couldn't I have?

Speaker 8 I mean, you were sort of asking a favor out of nowhere from someone you didn't have a real deep relationship with, and you got ghosted, which is a little rude.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if you gave any references. Oh, I can guarantee you I did not.
You said you were a comedian. Yeah.
Which you could

Speaker 1 say. Extremely true.

Speaker 1 You said visiting

Speaker 1 you. Did he say in a funny way?

Speaker 1 You probably get emails like this all the damn time. That's kind, right? That's a point in your favor.

Speaker 1 Self-deprecation. You gave no references.
Supplication. I don't know why you're saying that.
You just said you were a comedian. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I mean, right now, honestly, I feel that Mr. Ackerman was a bit more wronged and put upon.
Just a titch. So not enough for me to get involved.

Speaker 1 But were I to come to you and say, I want to hire you to go grab Gabe here. Yeah.
Well, because I've been wronged because I would need a little more. I would need a little more.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I told him to follow up in 2010.
He's kept it in 2009. Yeah, it was like the last few days of 2009.

Speaker 8 Let's say that you were haunted by his initial email. When is he going to get back in touch?

Speaker 8 Sort of like a nagging, open

Speaker 1 tell a heart kind of situation.

Speaker 8 Yeah, maybe that could be something.

Speaker 1 would need to i would need to see the i would need to understand the damage got it and and in both cases the other person would have need needed to physically run

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 if you are on social media or or on youtube or something i'm just saying that happens a lot i'm part of what my fee is i didn't mean to get so much into the logistics guys okay part of what my fee is how hard is this going to be for me to get them right and a lot of that is you can do the hard work though you can complete it i can do the hard work okay by the way i'm reminded by the way of another comedian that I need to respond to to be on this show.

Speaker 1 That emailed me to the show. Do you want to get some more screen right now?

Speaker 8 We live in the age of multitasking. Our screens are never away.

Speaker 1 That's right. Feel free and do it.
No, that's okay.

Speaker 1 I'm remembering it now, and I'm going to get back to them. That's well.

Speaker 8 And if not, you've got this live recording you can send to them.

Speaker 1 That's right. This is my living will, in a way.

Speaker 8 Comedian, you know who you are.

Speaker 1 Look, you might be on the show next week and we'll talk about it.

Speaker 1 But I doubt it. Yeah.
Can I ask a bounty honey

Speaker 1 and your anecdotal? I love it. Yeah, I'd love to see it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure, sure. You're saying $1,000 or $2,000 for a certain level of roughly

Speaker 1 for a slow person.

Speaker 8 That's an entry fee. There could be more.
There's more, there could be more expensive features.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm curious about. Let's say...

Speaker 8 It's $3,000 for the initial consult.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Let's say my wife has run to Seattle. I don't know where in Seattle she is, but I know.

Speaker 8 From what I know about you, you love this, right?

Speaker 1 Well, you love your baby to grow up. Yeah.
Not your wife to run away there. Right, exactly.
But it's the flip side. It's sort of like what you love is what you hate.

Speaker 8 My wife's run away to Seattle, all right.

Speaker 1 And what is you, what is, what is, and you know, you have to go look for her there. You're in L.A., we're meeting.
How much information do you need? Do you need her address?

Speaker 1 Or like, can you do the legwork and find her?

Speaker 8 As much as you got. Name, Social Security number would be great.
Of course, like that.

Speaker 1 Do you know your wife's Social Security number? I do not. All right.

Speaker 8 I don't know mine either. We're fighting uphill already.

Speaker 1 I know both of your wives. Social security.
What's the dirty numbers? Yes. Wow.
What are your expenses a day? And like beyond gas, what are you spending money on and how much of that would be?

Speaker 8 Before you get too far ahead where I think you're going, I would need any evidence of wrongdoing at all from

Speaker 8 this woman.

Speaker 1 Well, she left her

Speaker 1 husband. Yeah.
She's married.

Speaker 1 That's humiliation. That's humiliation.
In front of God.

Speaker 1 In front of actually my co-host. So I need you guys, Gabe and Jenny, who married us.
Yes, we were the officiants, the co-rabbis.

Speaker 1 So she didn't only betray me, she wronged my business partners, Cabe and Jenny. Nice.
She made a difference. That's good info.
All right. I'm feeling this sounds like a real rap.
What are we, 49, 51?

Speaker 8 There's like 51% chance of being a, you know, 50-50 of these two. Who's bad? She's 51%.

Speaker 1 She's 51%.

Speaker 8 okay so you'll take the case so far I'm on that side you should know she's I got I'll be honest I needed to go like to 60 I can't just go on a 51% chance of it

Speaker 8 so you're like Sammy Hagar in that regard I can't yeah I can't chase 55s

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 right that's the song but assuming I give you the evidence you need and I could obviously find emails that just cast her in an insane light for you

Speaker 1 this guy's amazing at finding emails that cast people in terrible light yeah without the context surrounding so let's say you've gotten to 60 whatever you need to say. Sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 Are we talking like

Speaker 1 what sort of lunches are you buying yourself? This is my money. Serviceable.

Speaker 8 Serviceable.

Speaker 1 Are we talking like gas stations, hired sandwiches?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm okay.

Speaker 8 I'm going to say a waiter is going to hand it to me, but it couldn't go.

Speaker 1 A waiter?

Speaker 1 That's my. So we're talking tips? That'd be a tip.
Yeah, but I mean,

Speaker 8 it could be TJF Fridays. It could be, you know, something, something that I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 But not Chipotle, like not counter service. Not fast casual?

Speaker 8 Not fast. You know, I I would do chipotle.

Speaker 1 Chipotle or higher. Pretty good.
Chipotle or higher. Chipotle or higher.
Are higher. Chipotle or higher.
Well, chipotle has fresh ingredients. That's right.

Speaker 1 They're included.

Speaker 8 I'd be happy with the chipotle. Let's say that level lunch.

Speaker 1 Meals. Nope.
Pollo loco? Okay.

Speaker 1 Pollo loco?

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 The authentic Spanish talk switched me into Spanish mode. I saw.
Do you speak multiple languages? You must

Speaker 1 in order to do this, John.

Speaker 1 You're constantly crossing crossing the border. You can't do it consciously.
It's only when somebody

Speaker 1 takes me. I'm Jason Bornston.
I can break into a language.

Speaker 8 I didn't expect. God, sorry, I'm exhausted.

Speaker 1 You have water here? Don't need it. Listen.
It was like when

Speaker 1 you read about where someone has an epileptic seizure and they wake up and they can speak Mandarin.

Speaker 1 It's like that.

Speaker 1 It was such an you never expected that. That was crazy to witness it.
Anyway, Pollyoloco.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I can't even say what.

Speaker 8 Pollyolo.

Speaker 1 God damn it. El Pollyoloco.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 8 But I'd probably go higher. I mean, like, listen, I'm not going to beat it.

Speaker 1 You love it. And you would deny yourself the pleasure? I think I'd go.

Speaker 8 I think I could do better.

Speaker 1 You said anything.

Speaker 8 I think any place where there's an, I think I'd look around.

Speaker 1 I bet you I could write it right.

Speaker 8 I bet you I could beat it within eyesight. I think I could.

Speaker 1 This is my money.

Speaker 1 And this is a lot of the main reason I'm fighting with my wife. If you're saying Chipotle are higher, there's no ceiling? What is your rating? Ceiling.
Okay, ceiling.

Speaker 1 Caviar?

Speaker 8 Chain restaurant waiter.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's the top level.
That's where you're going to max out. Okay.
So a Chili's. Are you doing that?

Speaker 8 Could be a Chili's? Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 What about like a Hillstone group? Because there's Houstons, there's Beverly Grill. Those are all technical chains.
I'll take those. I appreciate that.

Speaker 8 I'm not trying to nickel and dime you.

Speaker 1 Nowhere with a raw bar. How about we agree on that? And if you get my wife home to me by the weekends, we're square.

Speaker 1 Then you can have raw seafood.

Speaker 8 As a reward? Yes. So what are we talking here? No raw bar on the road, but if I succeed in the mission, raw bars.

Speaker 1 We go out together and I'm not probably. Like a half hour later or

Speaker 1 upon delivery? Like what

Speaker 1 does he have to wait around your

Speaker 1 stuff with my wife? Right.

Speaker 8 And this, again, I'm not at 60% for your wife yet, but assuming that you can give me enough dirt on her that I think she's 60%

Speaker 1 the wrong

Speaker 8 wronging party in your relationship, then this is all good.

Speaker 1 Do you have any other intel for? I mean, it sounds like you're kind of

Speaker 1 interested in hiring Ethan over here.

Speaker 8 You're going to have to buy plane fare. We're going to Seattle?

Speaker 1 I'm going to. That's why I'm paying you.

Speaker 8 You got to come come with me.

Speaker 1 I need you at my side.

Speaker 1 I need you at my side. Business plan? Yes.
He should just go then and do it by himself.

Speaker 8 No, I'll handle the dirty work. You got to go.

Speaker 1 He's hiring you because he has shit to do here.

Speaker 1 It won't take long. Seattle? I have a podcast.
We have an episode a week. We're supposed to go to Seattle.
Get on Zoom. No one notices.
From Seattle.

Speaker 1 Wow. Anyway.
I don't know. So this would be every single case you can.
Not every single. But if they can, great.
That makes it a lot easier. You can stay in the hotel.

Speaker 1 So I'm just accompanying you on the flight. You're sharing a hotel room? What you eyeball her?

Speaker 8 I'll be like, okay, you head on back to the Howard Johnson's. I'm going to, I'm going to go do this.

Speaker 1 What if he's willing to get two separate hotel rooms, one for him, one for you? That's on you. Is this about needing my credit card at Chipotle and stuff? Because I'm willing to reimburse you after.

Speaker 8 It's not about that. It's just about the ID.
I mean, it's logistically, it's a lot easier if you're there to pay for everything up front. Sure.

Speaker 1 I gave you 20 videos of her running in her pajamas, and you need me to see it. I could probably do it.

Speaker 8 She's running away from the camera, though.

Speaker 1 Running.

Speaker 1 Yeah, running away from one to another. All right.
No, you're right.

Speaker 1 How many cameras do you have at your estates?

Speaker 8 Do you have like ones at the end of the driveway catching her coming?

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. So it's the kind of thing where you're like, now let's jump over to this camera.
You've got good coverage. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, she's always running away.

Speaker 8 Well, if there's good footage of her face in a way that I, okay, you're right. I would not need you to come along if I've got good footage of her face.

Speaker 1 But you would still want him to.

Speaker 8 I mean, it'd be great.

Speaker 8 I didn't know it was going to be such a sticky. I thought it'd be fun, but all right, listen, if this is like,

Speaker 8 I'm a businessman and I respect you, so yeah, you don't have to come along.

Speaker 1 So you're tracking these people from their face. You need clear, like,

Speaker 8 I got a note in my gut.

Speaker 1 So you're, you're just wandering around a city like Seattle, just looking at faces, trying to.

Speaker 8 That's the end game.

Speaker 8 I'll do some legwork on the internet first and try to narrow things down, of course.

Speaker 1 So what, what kind of legwork? Like, you enter her name plus Seattle minus AI?

Speaker 8 So I'm sensing some disdain.

Speaker 1 It's a little bit harder than that. It's a little bit harder.
Are you on like different websites that we're not on, like law enforcement websites and stuff like that?

Speaker 8 My history in the law enforcement agency has given me access.

Speaker 1 What is your history?

Speaker 8 I was an assistant sheriff in New Fairfield, Connecticut.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 8 For almost two years.

Speaker 1 What is an almost two years? Almost two years.

Speaker 1 When I was the elective term there.

Speaker 8 I was beat caught before that. Okay.

Speaker 8 Assistant sheriff's not voted. They're appointed by the sheriff.

Speaker 1 It sounds like it's an assistant job.

Speaker 8 It was a lot of secretarial work, but I had a badge and a gun, and potentially could yet.

Speaker 1 Would you ever type on the computer with the gun?

Speaker 8 I mean, I can't say it didn't happen. That wasn't something I had thought about a lot.

Speaker 1 It's got fun, right? Sure. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Sort of Chico Mark style. Right.

Speaker 8 We got a fun shoot the keys.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You're on one of those websites where ads start popping up, but you can't close the windows.
You point your gun at the screen. So mad.
Yeah. Like, the X isn't the X.

Speaker 1 The X is actually opening up another ad. It's supposed to close the window.
This should be illegal.

Speaker 8 What's going on with that?

Speaker 1 What is going on with that? So you

Speaker 8 have access to some

Speaker 8 private security info, something that only the lawmen are supposed to have access to.

Speaker 1 License plate numbers, you can track it. I can run a license plate number.

Speaker 8 I can run a social security number. I can check some plane ticket purchases.

Speaker 1 Credit cards.

Speaker 8 Credit cards,

Speaker 8 if it's a major credit card, I have access. If it's a cool, fringy one, it can be a little stickier.

Speaker 1 So the major one? Like a debit card from the smartless card or something like that. Could be, yeah.
Do you know the smartest? Smartlist plan? You can track that? Probably not yet.

Speaker 8 Probably not yet. It's probably too new.

Speaker 1 Wow. Are you implying that they don't have a ton of customers yet? Well, I'm not saying anything about your employer.

Speaker 1 Are you saying there's not a lot of people out there that aren't willing to transfer

Speaker 1 to three comedians? Yeah. I'm sorry, two comedians and one actor? Yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm not saying that at all.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a great business. Go ahead.

Speaker 8 Sounds like a great business.

Speaker 1 Because it was a big decision for me to go from Ryan Reynolds to Sean Hayes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all my banking. It's a lateral move in a lot of respects, but for phones,

Speaker 1 for phones, it's hard. It depends where you live.

Speaker 8 The Ryan Reynolds network, Cricket, right? That's Cricket. Is that right?

Speaker 1 I think so, yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought it was Mint Mobile. Okay, whatever it is.
He's not in the network yet.

Speaker 8 It takes a while to get on to get on the law enforcement radar.

Speaker 1 Is that because a lot of criminals use Ryan Reynolds network?

Speaker 8 Because a lot of criminals don't use it. It's not worth it.
It's not worth treating.

Speaker 8 It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 I see. Got it.

Speaker 8 But I do have access to a lot of these. So, yeah, I would check these sites, get some background.

Speaker 1 I have an ex-girlfriend who I've always wondered why she got divorced. And I think that's divorced up here.

Speaker 8 Do you know her? herself?

Speaker 1 No, no, we weren't we never got married. Okay.
She got married after we were together. That's her business.
I'm not mad at her. And you were not in touch with her at this point.

Speaker 1 No, we broke up hard. Broke up hard.
And then she got married. Okay.
There's a wedding announcement. How soon? How soon after? Yeah.
Thanks. Not long enough.

Speaker 1 Like, I believe that there was some overlap. Too soon.
Okay. Overlap.

Speaker 1 So, like, even though it's all our business to move on, you know, there's some, there's some, there's some emotion in my younger years. And then you're wondering why she got divorced.

Speaker 1 She got divorced not much longer after, but I am. Because you thought there was maybe overlap in that as well.

Speaker 1 You wonder if she was at fault. No, I'm just wondering if her reason for divorce is still feel bad about what I did to my ex-boyfriend.
It'd be great to see the

Speaker 1 records. And there are those websites where they're like, if you pay, we can unlock these records.
But it sounds to me like what Ethan does is goes and finds her and brings her back to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't really get...

Speaker 8 There's not a lot of in the records about intention.

Speaker 1 You have to say why you're divorcing someone.

Speaker 8 Yeah, there could be a stated reason, but that could.

Speaker 1 But would you be willing to do that? You've heard that. I can round her up.

Speaker 1 This sounds like a 60 to me. Yeah,

Speaker 8 she's past 60 already. Yeah.

Speaker 1 For sure. For sure.
She's past 60.

Speaker 1 Tell her she got married right away.

Speaker 8 Dump this asshole, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bring her over to Max. I'll get her.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that'd be good.

Speaker 1 But I don't want to go with you to get her. I mean, I imagine.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Are you free this weekend? Where is she going? How bad is it? Don't most of your customers come to you at a really low point in their life? Like, they don't want to take a vacation with you.

Speaker 8 They want out of their lives, usually. They want a break.

Speaker 1 But look, I'm not, you don't have to come.

Speaker 8 I'll send you an itinerary. Go if you want.

Speaker 1 You don't have to go. You can pop in and out, too, if you want.
Like, if there's something else going on in the city, if you don't want to do the yoga at 10 a.m., you don't have to.

Speaker 1 These are wedding rules.

Speaker 1 What kind of hotels are you staying at? I'm having a lazy day. That's what I'm going to say to you.

Speaker 8 Nothing fancy. Again, serviceable.
Just something, just a nice place to lay your head. How many stars?

Speaker 8 Shared and four points. What do we got?

Speaker 1 Sheridan, four points. Okay.
Beautiful. Like a budget based on a hotel.

Speaker 8 Nah, I won't go Omni.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 Too expensive. That's too expensive.
Okay, got it. That's too much.

Speaker 1 Okay, Radisson's.

Speaker 8 I'll do Radisson. Sure.
Radisson by the airport.

Speaker 1 Radisson by the. So you prefer by the airport? Downtown Radisson's.

Speaker 8 Now we're talking money. But by the airport, that's.
For the valet.

Speaker 1 Did you ever valet the car? Is that part of the expensive? Never. Never valet.
Okay. Park my own damn.
Self-park? How many? I'll self-park it. How many tickets?

Speaker 1 Even off the clock, you're self-parking only? Self-parking. Yeah.
Just throw it. By the airport, it's not always safe in the structure at night.
I just be careful. I guess you're a bounty hunter.

Speaker 8 I'm a bounty hunter. Let him try.

Speaker 1 Yeah, has shit ever gotten

Speaker 1 heavy?

Speaker 8 Shit's gotten heavy.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 tell us some of these stories. I don't know why we're getting into the weeds about your process.
I don't know either.

Speaker 8 I didn't invite that line of questioning.

Speaker 1 I was not the momentum behind it. Tell us about some of the stories.
I'm happy to talk about whatever. Tell us about some of your.
Oh, you know what? We're running out of time. No, that's all right.

Speaker 1 That's all right. So sorry.
That's okay. Hey, really, it's fine.
We're running out of time. We got to take a break.
This is too bad. But can you stick around? Maybe

Speaker 1 some of these stories might pop up in conversation.

Speaker 1 I mean, I got some good ones.

Speaker 8 I've got some very juicy, violent stories.

Speaker 1 But you're the host. All right.
Well, we're going to take a break. When we come back, Ethan Merck is going to stick around.
We're also going to have Max Silvestri, Gabe Leidman.

Speaker 1 We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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Speaker 1 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. We have Gabe Liebman and Max Silvestri.
The podcast is called I Need You Guys. Several episodes out there, wherever you can get your podcast right now.

Speaker 1 Who's the guest of your first few episodes?

Speaker 1 John Malany. John Malaney's up there.
Jesse Klein. Michelle Bouteau.
Sean Hayes. Kumale.
The great. Yes.
I can't get these people on my show. Nick Krull wonderful.
These people are

Speaker 1 comes on. Yeah.
Yeah, you can get Kroll. Yeah.
Kumale, you just did it. Yeah.
Okay, so you get some of these. The rest of the walking is back.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jeez. Jesse did my other show.

Speaker 1 The rest rest don't respond anymore. We're calling in a lot of chicks.
Yes. And we're going to burn those bridges.
It will be strangers soon enough. So

Speaker 1 how is it for you? Because, you know, you used to be up till just a couple of months ago, you used to be comedians and people would ask, hey, come do my podcast.

Speaker 1 And you would roll your eyes and go, all right. Now you're the one out there saying, come do my podcast.
Yeah. How's it feel?

Speaker 1 I have a lot of guilt about it. Yeah.
Yeah. Am I bothering this person? Am I bothering them? You know, I do feel like I'm getting in their way.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The flow of their day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Especially

Speaker 1 a Zoom podcast.

Speaker 1 We require a lot of technical know-how. They need to have over-ear headphones.
Yeah. Not only are we old friends, but you need to navigate StreamYard and QuickTime recordings.

Speaker 1 How would you love to leave your computer open in this hotel room while you finish the Dropbox upload? Like, it's such a word. Yeah, this is too much on people.

Speaker 1 Well, it sounds like a dynamite show, though, if it's out there right now. We also have Ethan Murkis here, but we need to get to our next guest.

Speaker 1 Ran right by me quick.

Speaker 1 We need to get to our next guest. He's fine with me.
I'm Ethan.

Speaker 1 He's been sitting here.

Speaker 1 He's been sitting here waiting to come on. My apologies.
He's a mentalist. This is so exciting.
I'm fascinated with mentalists. Please welcome to the show Arnold de Bobo.

Speaker 1 Oh, Scott, thank you so much for having me on.

Speaker 1 It's my pleasure. I've been enjoying listening to you guys chat.
I love the show. I love comedy.
Sorry that we took took so long to get to you, but Ethan here wouldn't, you know, honestly.

Speaker 1 I'd known about it. I didn't know I was running long.
My pup. Hotels.
No, it helps me. Before my shows, what I'll do is I'll kind of scope out the audience.
I'll listen to what they say.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing sorcery. I can clear some stuff up about mentalism right now.
Is it actual, is it magic? Is it

Speaker 1 ESP? It's not ESP. I can't actually read minds.
I don't have superpowers.

Speaker 1 It's like a trick?

Speaker 1 I'm using techniques that are out there.

Speaker 1 They're psychological. So it's like if you went to go get a massage and someone was to do the massage, and then afterwards, you go, wow, that feels good.
Was that sorcery?

Speaker 1 No, you just say it's a technique. It's a technique.
I'm able to do that. It's a technique.
And as a trainer, yeah, they've worked at it for their whole lives. Right.
Do you give massages ever?

Speaker 1 I do. I do give foot massages.
Oh, good. People don't enjoy them.
Oh, they're unaspirable. No, they're not good.
They make people uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 They go go right to the bone yeah i'm not good at it and i think that's actually what makes me maybe the greatest mentalists out there there's some really good mentalists uh i uh uh oz perlman for example he charms people he he's very funny i'm more off-putting uh-oh uh audiences are uncomfortable around me they put up

Speaker 1 massages yeah that's one example of of what's disturbing about me yeah so they'll immediately kind of put brick walls up and i've got to smash through those walls what are your other yeah i'm sorry max i know it just it's it feels like to me what i imagine and i don't know anything about it like a mentalist should be able unbelievably to read people's yeah cues and micro signals but yeah you have a blind spot around feet or like why are you not able to read it or your own personality yeah it's my own personality yeah yeah so you're unable to mentalize yourself saying like oh i'm annoying Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 I can kind of pick up on it. I know after a while, I'm able to make some adjustments.
You can see like people's eyes kind of like looking past you. Yeah, to look at people in the party.

Speaker 1 I've got to scope that out. I've got to work with that and still get that information out.
And yet, you don't have the wherewithal to realize, like, oh, I'm not interesting.

Speaker 1 I should tell better stories.

Speaker 1 Well, it's been helpful for me. It's been my whole life.
I mean, like a lot of people, I got into this as a young man to meet girls.

Speaker 1 Sure. And sure.
That is often the issue. Yeah, that is often.
You ever meet me?

Speaker 1 So Well, I would go to parties and they would want me to leave so desperately, I would say, well, if you give me your number, and I would get a lot of numbers that way.

Speaker 8 What was the rest of that sentence?

Speaker 1 You want your sock back. Yeah.

Speaker 8 If you give me your number.

Speaker 1 Oh, then you'll leave. That's right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And did any of these numbers actually work? Or were they? A lot of them are what they call, yeah, they're phony numbers. Is a copy of it.
Decoy. That's what they call them.
Phony numbers? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Scott used to give that out for his live show that he bothered. That's right.
That's sort of of a decoy, you know.

Speaker 1 I think that you tried to call me on one of those phony numbers

Speaker 1 for advice about your project. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Either it's a friend who kind of is up on it and they'll mess with you a little bit and we'll get a good laugh out of that, or it's just a number that doesn't exist at all. You know, Ethan, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I feel like we're making the same mistake. Yeah.
No, Arnold is your name.

Speaker 1 I feel like we're making the same mistake that we made with Ethan where we're talking about your process too much instead of actually getting into what you do. Sure, sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 This is entertainment. I can entertain a little bit and

Speaker 1 we can kind of go along with it. Entertain us a lot.
That's what I would prefer.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Like, this is your one shot to be on Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 1 Max, think of a year. Okay.
Just clear your mind.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
I'm going to get close to you. I'm going to pick up

Speaker 1 the year. Yeah.
Really think about it. Okay.
Why are you just

Speaker 1 taking off his socks? You got the year.

Speaker 8 Okay. Massaging his feet.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So. It's not a blueberry.
It's a toe. You don't have to squeeze it like that.

Speaker 1 Okay. Now, let me do some mentalism.

Speaker 1 You don't, by the way, just

Speaker 1 by saying you've been mentalized. Okay.
But a little feedback from me. Yeah.
And Max took feedback from me, and he's got a podcast out of it. Okay.
You don't have to say, Let me do some mentalism.

Speaker 1 Okay. We expect that from you.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Hey, Scott, can I give you some feedback on your feedback?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 8 I thought that was great. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Evan.

Speaker 1 But it's not your segment. We're doing an audio.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to worm my way in. We're doing an audio medium.
I just want the audience to know what's going on. And Max, you didn't think of a year, did you? You weren't thinking of a year at all.

Speaker 1 You didn't listen to my instructions. Uh-oh.
Holy shit. You're actually, you're right.
And you were thinking. What? And that's not sorcery?

Speaker 1 These are just cues I'm picking up from it. That's incredible.
You're thinking, why is this guy so close to me? How can he get out of my personal space?

Speaker 1 And you thought of a number, how far back you want me to to be, and it's five feet further away. That's incredible.
Is that true? Is that true?

Speaker 1 That's amazing. Both backing myself, like imagining myself pulling.
Were you imagining like a yardstick and seeing one and two-thirds yardsticks?

Speaker 1 Actually, what I was thinking of the whole time was I immediately pictured a distance, and then I was like,

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 Rhea Perlman lying down.

Speaker 1 I was like trying to figure out how long it was. So I wasn't thinking about what was going on.

Speaker 1 Not as far as DeVito, DeVito. Yeah.
No, but

Speaker 1 who's taller? Yeah. And these are the age-old questions.

Speaker 1 The point is, I wasn't thinking about a year. I was kind of like, is she a real taller? She's because of her hair.
Well, I mean, it's interesting. I don't want to tell you how the sausage is made, but

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 toes have what?

Speaker 1 Feet have what? Two toes. Nails.

Speaker 1 De Vito's two inches shorter.

Speaker 1 Feet have five toes. Okay.
And five feet, maybe that put that in your head, and that's kind of how I'm manipulating these things. Why not ten feet? That's not sorcery.

Speaker 1 There was a cadence of how you squeezed my big toe, but now I'm realizing maybe you were pulsing. It was sort of like one, two, three, four, five.
Pause. One, two, three, four, five.

Speaker 1 But this is, I mean, that's incredible that you were able to

Speaker 1 pick that up. I mean, a lot of mentalists would maybe just take a stab or try to implant a number in his head or something, you know, but you, you know.

Speaker 8 I thought it was just that you had freaked him out so much. He was thinking about you getting away from the body.

Speaker 1 That's part of it. That's part of it.
It's my natural ability to kind of turn people off. Right.

Speaker 1 He wants them, and I know that's coming, so I'll use that. And that's how I book a lot of corporate jobs.
Oh, cool. Do you want to try again with one of the other people here?

Speaker 1 Sure, sure.

Speaker 1 Do me.

Speaker 1 Okay, great.

Speaker 1 You know, you can ask a little nicer.

Speaker 8 Do me now.

Speaker 1 He has a gun on his alternate. Ethan, I want you to think of a historical figure.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And actually, let's visualize it. Can you Google image search? You have your phone in front of you.

Speaker 1 Let's Google image search a historical figure. All right.
One that he's thought of, or just should he Google historical figures and see what pops up?

Speaker 1 I think the one that he thought of would be more helpful

Speaker 1 because then we can actually Google image search.

Speaker 8 And is it all right if I use DuckDuckGo?

Speaker 1 I guess. Do you have to?

Speaker 8 I'm not a fan of Google.

Speaker 1 Is that all right if I DuckDuckGo image search? Yeah, yeah, that works. All right.

Speaker 1 Does it work as well? And you have it, you're thinking about it. Okay, let me look at you.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Ethan,

Speaker 1 you didn't actually Google image search, did you? Or DuckDuckGo. You didn't look up the photo.

Speaker 8 I did not.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Did you text your partner? Yeah. You have a romance.
You have a girlfriend and you text yourself.

Speaker 8 You have a situation that's

Speaker 1 romantic about it.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you sent her a code that you have when you're socially in trouble and you want an excuse to break away.

Speaker 8 I did.

Speaker 8 Yep, I sent myself a certain amount of code.

Speaker 1 And it's an emoji?

Speaker 8 It is an emoji.

Speaker 1 Okay, and

Speaker 1 it's an alarm. It's a siren.

Speaker 8 Well, you're a little bit off there. It's a fire truck.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 I'm going to do that. It has a siren on top of it.

Speaker 8 There's two sirens up.

Speaker 8 But the primary image is a truck.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Sorry about that.
It's all right. But it's a close-up of the top of the truck where the siren is? The top-down view of a fire truck.

Speaker 8 Top-level emoji.

Speaker 1 Top-level view of a fire truck emoji. The siren's front and center.
But I think

Speaker 1 with a fire scene. And you know, this is part of it.
This is part of it. It's got, because you hand me that envelope that I sent to the studio.
Oh, yeah. Oh, this is a week ago.
This came a week ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this came away. I wonder if you can threw it away.
And you know, actually, hand it straight. I don't even want to touch this thing.
Okay, but you don't know. I don't even want to touch it.

Speaker 1 Hand it straight. Hand it straight to Ethan.
Okay, here you go, Ethan. And Ethan opened that up.

Speaker 1 You see the postmark? You see that postmark?

Speaker 8 Okay, I do see it.

Speaker 1 What kind of stamp is that?

Speaker 1 Those are in.

Speaker 1 They look to be like commemorative. They're commemorative for the space program.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what?

Speaker 8 I still get happy thinking about the space program.

Speaker 1 And those women were the first astronauts who were.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's all women and they're crying. Yeah.
Those are the first astronauts rejected? Yeah,

Speaker 1 those were the teams. That's when they said that.

Speaker 8 The caption says first rejects.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And I think that's beautiful that they did that.

Speaker 8 They deserve to be remembered.

Speaker 1 Hidden figures no longer.

Speaker 1 The first year they allowed divorced women to apply. None got in.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 they did apply.

Speaker 8 They were allowed to do an honor just to be applied.

Speaker 1 Inside that envelope, as you can see, toy truck. Fire truck.
Oh, my God. Holy shit.
That's crazy. Wow.
The sirens right at the top. You've been mentalized.

Speaker 1 Wow. You just got mentalized.
That's great. Now, hang on a minute.

Speaker 8 That is witchcraft.

Speaker 1 That's amazing.

Speaker 1 I'm going to call it what it is. You didn't say you've been mentalized to Mac.

Speaker 1 I think I did. I think there was a lot going on.

Speaker 8 Scott, could I give some feedback on what you just said there?

Speaker 1 You were right on the money.

Speaker 1 This is his segment, though.

Speaker 8 I'm really not trying to extend my real estate here.

Speaker 1 Well, when you go back, maybe I'll say it softly and everyone will kind of just have it in their subconscious.

Speaker 1 Scotted. I'm blessed.
Well, that was

Speaker 1 crazy.

Speaker 1 Because, I mean, normally a mentalist picks up on physical cues to see.

Speaker 1 Or tries to implant. So did you implant something in his head

Speaker 1 beforehand or while you were here that you knew a week ago that you were going to send

Speaker 1 this fire truck to? I don't know how you did this. Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 I did start

Speaker 1 a small

Speaker 1 fire outside the studio. I don't know if you noticed that.
I did.

Speaker 1 It wasn't massive, but it made a lot of smoke. It kicked up a lot of smoke.
Yeah, I was kind of putting out cigarettes. It scared some people.

Speaker 1 I mean, L.A., you know, during fire season,

Speaker 1 I feel triggered. It's very dry, but you know what? It did just rain here, and it was safe, and I thought I could get away with it.
And even just that, that briefly,

Speaker 1 I thought I could get away with it. Yeah, I'll just go back for a minute.
It's so nice. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Sometimes the police do use me.

Speaker 1 And I feel like hiring you right now. I mean,

Speaker 8 I'm scared out of my mind, but I can't do it.

Speaker 1 The two of you working together, that would be a lot of mentalists. They don't want to work with law enforcement.
I don't mind.

Speaker 1 You don't mind? No. Why don't most people?

Speaker 1 Why don't most mentalists? Yeah, why don't you? Well, because it is, again, it's not sorcery. It is for entertainment.
They don't want actual cases to be decided.

Speaker 1 Mentalism isn't allowed in court.

Speaker 1 They won't accept it. They can't use it to prove it.
Even if a lawyer just wanted to do it for fun in court one day.

Speaker 1 I think it's because you're not allowed to take someone's shoes and socks off in court.

Speaker 8 Honestly, it goes both ways. Law enforcement doesn't want to work with mentalists.

Speaker 8 And I'm sorry to say what I'm about to say because I don't mean to start a fright or anything because we don't respect your profession and we think you're a business.

Speaker 1 No, I understand. I'm not a gunbag economy.
I understand that.

Speaker 1 Particularly,

Speaker 1 a lot of officers have a problem with.

Speaker 1 What I'll do is I'll go in, I'll talk to a suspect.

Speaker 1 And let's say. They bring you in when there's a suspect.
Yeah, there's a suspect. Maybe they want a confession or they want some evidence.
So they don't bring you in when, like, it's a cold case. No,

Speaker 1 they bring in someone to read. They already have someone they know who did it.
It's a last resort.

Speaker 8 When you bring in a mentalist, you knew Fearfully, when I was the assistant secretary, by the time we brought in the mentalists, it was last resort. Right.
We had nowhere to go.

Speaker 1 But this is when they've already captured the

Speaker 1 but there is a ticking clock on the interrogator. Usually you only have 24 hours before you charge the person.
So it's they've tried.

Speaker 1 But they're like we're in the middle. They are desperate.
If they're bringing me in, they're extra desperate. Okay, great.
And what happens?

Speaker 1 Well, I'll talk to one of these suspects, and a lot of times they'll think, they'll fantasize maybe about hurting me in some way.

Speaker 1 Sure. And I can pick that up.
I choose the electric chair, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and frequently what they'll do is they'll fantasize about hurting me with maybe a weapon that they committed another crime with.

Speaker 1 And I can help the authorities find these weapons you've been mentalized. Take me back to the creek.
I want to get my hammer. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 And then I want to smash it into arnaud's face uh right so i've got a gentle question i mean to ask here uh gentle

Speaker 8 i'm trying so hard easy

Speaker 1 is it

Speaker 1 is it techniques you're using or you're like you're just reading someone's mind no i'm trying to be careful about this i'm scanning ahead are you just so insanely gross i mean is that a talent are you so contemptuous yeah i am gross enough that it is beneficial to what what I do, but I try to jiu-jitsu that and use it to my attention.

Speaker 1 Because I don't like to talk about physical attractions. Yes, physical attributes, but you're unattractive.
I'm kind of classically unattractive.

Speaker 1 I do smell, I don't do much more.

Speaker 1 You look mean. I whisper to gay Boston 2.
Whoa, yeah. That's low.
Yeah, it's low. That's low.

Speaker 1 Do you have sort of like a pigpen kind of like dust cloud?

Speaker 1 To you, a lot of people can actually see my stink. And my diet doesn't do me any favor.
There are also flies next to you, and they're holding their nose going, PU. P-U.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have a lot of cartoon characteristics.

Speaker 1 It is off-putting. I'll

Speaker 1 do big events.

Speaker 1 Usually it's kind of a punishment. And

Speaker 1 corporations will say, Hey, corporations are trying to punish you. They're having a, they're

Speaker 1 saying, hey, come to this big event. I'll come out.
I'll do some mentalism. The employees will say, we'll work as hard as you want.
Just like, yes, never never do this again. Retreats.
I got it.

Speaker 1 And so that's really, I'm bringing up the bottom line. So when you're brought in, the person goes, like, get me out of this room.
I'll say anything.

Speaker 1 I just don't want to be around this asshole anymore. That's true.
It's true. Okay.
Scott, let me ask you. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
We've never met before. This is the first time.

Speaker 1 You sent some mail to my house about a week ago. Yeah, but we haven't physically met.
You haven't emailed me. No, I haven't ghosted you.

Speaker 1 And there'd be no way I know your ATM pin, right? Nobody knows that. Does your wife know that? I mean,

Speaker 1 I think she does, but,

Speaker 1 but, I mean, unless you were behind me one day.

Speaker 1 Okay, and I was withdrawing. No.

Speaker 1 Because I make a lot of withdrawals. Okay.
I'm like an eight withdrawal a day kind of guy. Cause I'm always just like, I always get the minimum.
Yeah. And I'm like, why didn't I go for the maximum?

Speaker 1 I don't need all time to go back.

Speaker 1 So this pin is very important to you. Very important.

Speaker 1 It's an eight time a day thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's very important. This guy's got it.
I get this guy.

Speaker 8 You know what?

Speaker 8 I loathe you, but I got to respect the delivery.

Speaker 1 So I want you to think about that pin and,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Can you back up? Oh, Scott. Yeah.
You have

Speaker 1 a sick mind, Scott. You're a twisted man.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Because you didn't think about your ATN pin, did you? No, I mean, no, honestly. It's in there a little bit, but you weren't thinking about it.
I was when you first brought it up.

Speaker 1 You were thinking about

Speaker 1 me in a boat and you pushing me into the water. Just to wash you off.
Honestly, like,

Speaker 1 and I thought it was a swim, Scott. I thought a bathtub wouldn't be, you know, cleanly enough.
I thought the ocean might do a better job.

Speaker 1 Well, you mentioned I sent you some mail. That implies multiple pieces of mail.
Not when I said it. Can you open it?

Speaker 1 Can you open that other piece of mail that came here months ago? That's from months ago. Why am I still holding on to this? I don't know, but I

Speaker 1 hear you too. Here's a letter opener.

Speaker 1 Okay, could you back off with the letter opener? I have my own.

Speaker 1 I'll just use my fingers. All right.
Okay, great. Put that back.

Speaker 1 Was that like a Switchblade letter opener? Put the Switchblade. It's handy because you only need one hand.
Okay. Cover it up.
It is so off-putting. He's right.
He knows himself. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I've opened it up. And you can see that is a signed autograph from Phil Collins.
Oh, wow. Of In the Air Tonight.

Speaker 1 And he says, and he says,

Speaker 1 I would not help him drowning either. Right.
This is that song that he was singing to that guy in the audience.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 8 You might want a little more context for people who aren't super familiar with the lyrics to that song.

Speaker 1 Everyone knows the lyrics to In the Air Tonight. We went on the drum tonight.
Ethan,

Speaker 1 he signed it. Hey, check out my lyrics to In the Air Tonight.
Yo. Sincerely, Phil Collins.

Speaker 8 And so he got Phil Collins to autograph that?

Speaker 1 That's incredible. I got Phil Collins.
You've been mentalized.

Speaker 1 I got Phil Collins. And I'm just taking it on faith that this actually is Phil Collins.
Yes, that that's not. I could check that signal.
Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 On the back, there's a picture of Phil Collins holding it up next to a newspaper from four months ago. Oh my God.
That's incredible. That's incredible.

Speaker 1 It's so hard to get a photo of someone holding up the photo on the back of the photo. Yeah, that's already a double-sided headshot.
And that was pre-pandemic. Wow.

Speaker 1 Really? Wow, months ago. That's many months.

Speaker 1 Can I ask a.

Speaker 1 This is probably a dumb question because I haven't. I've obviously been to a lot of.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 how tall Danny DeVito is. Is that what you were going to ask?

Speaker 1 How high he is. How high he is.
How high he is. How far from the sky he is.
Excuse me. That's how I measure height.

Speaker 1 How high he is. I've only seen probably

Speaker 1 a dozen mentalist stage shows. Oh, God.
So I'm not like.

Speaker 1 That's actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Some of it is the same guy multiple times, but for the most part, it's like eight or nine different guys

Speaker 1 in the UK and America.

Speaker 1 Different countries. But I don't know mentalism that well.
Each time you asked us to think of something, but then you guessed

Speaker 1 a different thing we were thinking of. Is there any way to just get straight to guessing what we're thinking of without

Speaker 1 the googling? Yeah, could you do that? Like just you haven't done just straight up.

Speaker 1 I don't think you've done Gabe yet. Yeah, just ask Gabe.
Yes. Straight off.
Straight up. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, so, okay i want just tell us what he's thinking just tell us what he's thinking he's wondering like why did i eat all that raw onions why did you eat that yeah he's wondering that about me why do you have an answer

Speaker 1 I don't. I mean, it's just,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to quit smoking, so I'll just try to just

Speaker 1 do anything else. Anything else? Just raw onions.
Yeah, just raw onions.

Speaker 1 And that comes out. Sounds like you're hungry, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I wasn't really, I was thinking the smell of onion every time he talks. Yeah.
Right. It's so fresh.
It's like the cot.

Speaker 1 It's like Chipotle, honestly. It's like Chipotle.
It's like very fresh.

Speaker 1 Onion. I want to hire you.
Wind. I want to hire you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 8 I want to hire you to work on a case that's stymied me.

Speaker 1 Oh, I need your help, actually. This is incredible.

Speaker 1 What's the case? Don't go into too many of the details. We don't have time for that.

Speaker 8 It's a great story.

Speaker 1 It's a real great,

Speaker 1 but I'll keep it just a moment i've got a heart out so i do have to go

Speaker 1 i've been talking for maybe 10 seconds i do have to go i appreciate the offer

Speaker 1 i'll write it i'll write it down to you yeah just send it yeah honestly email me this could have been an email yeah i guess it can be an email never never you mind all right aol well they i mean arnold debobo this this is incredible you're a loathsome individual but uh i mean your techniques work

Speaker 1 and you know i'm probably going to not survive much longer.

Speaker 1 I do often

Speaker 1 get hit by cars.

Speaker 1 Okay. So I'm really happy to come on the show while I'm still with everybody.
No cars in here. Yeah, no car.
I am safe from traffic. That's right.

Speaker 1 Well, congratulations, Arnold. So nice to meet you.
We are running out of time, though, guys. We only have time for one final feature on the show.
This is, of course, a little something called plugs.

Speaker 1 We have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called

Speaker 1 that was open up the plug deck 2025, then you are alive by G2 Pilots. Thanks so much to G2 Pilots.

Speaker 1 If you have a plug theme, head over to cbbworld.com/slash plugs and you can upload your songs there, or you can find everything you need to make a remix and upload it. And, guys, what do we plug in?

Speaker 1 Obviously, Max and Gabe, your new show. Yes, I need you guys.
I need you guys. And you can get

Speaker 1 this weekly, I would imagine.

Speaker 8 Yeah, get it weekly.

Speaker 1 Why not every six days? Oh, that is a great

Speaker 1 bonus episodes. So there's a world where you get something every six days.

Speaker 1 But no promises. You mean on the average.
I just think it'd be fun to put out a podcast every six days. So like the first week it comes out on Monday.
Right. And then it comes out on a Sunday.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Then it comes out on a Saturday. I love it.
it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And this is why you've been in the biz so long. This is the kind of advice that I probably gave you on that phone call.
You see the industry from the inside out, and we're outsiders.

Speaker 1 Any other award shows that we're all working on together?

Speaker 1 God, I hope not.

Speaker 1 Gabe and I are also TV producers, so check out Lute Season 3 and I Love LA Season 1. Yes.
What is I Love LA?

Speaker 1 It's a new HBO comedy on Sunday nights, and then it's coming out six days after the premiere. So the premiere is Sunday, November 2nd.
So every six days. Yeah.
See, HBO knows what they're doing.

Speaker 1 They get it. Do HBO comedy.
Rachel Sennett. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Okay.
I've heard of the show. Great.
I'm looking forward to that. And of course, Loot Alan Yang show, right? Yes, that's right.

Speaker 1 Fantastic. And

Speaker 1 we don't have a lot of time, but Ethan, Mercury. Real quick, what do you want to plug?

Speaker 8 There's a podcast I'm a fan of. It's about the Beatles called Screw.
We're just going to talk about the Beatles by Will Hines and some friends.

Speaker 8 He's a great comedian, really, truly noble man who I'm a fan of, and that's what I'd like to plug.

Speaker 1 If I hired you to chase him, would you?

Speaker 8 In a heartbeat. In a heartbeat.

Speaker 1 He's a man of low morals. Because you're oh, oh.
I thought you said he was a great man.

Speaker 8 He's noble, but only for his own bullshit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 God, I would love to hear about some of the cases. Yeah.
Some of them are great. One of them involves a widow.
Actually, you know, we got to turn to Arnold de Bobo. Arnold, what do you want to plug?

Speaker 1 Oh, nothing really.

Speaker 1 But thank you.

Speaker 1 I suppose I've been listening to the Action Boys podcast. Me too.

Speaker 1 It's very entertaining. A lot of old movies, these weirdos are talking about.
I mean, they would have to talk about old movies because they can't talk about new movies because they're not out yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That's really

Speaker 1 a real mind-bending way to look at it, Scott. I should work that into my routine.
What are they going to talk about? Like, oh, in five years from now, let's break this movie down.

Speaker 1 No, they can't. It might come out.
They don't have a window into the future. No, these are just regular guys talking about old movies.
Regular

Speaker 1 Joes, just average Joes, just

Speaker 1 just laughing it up, talking about these steroid-ridden freaks on celluloid.

Speaker 1 And what is this now called? It is called Fortune Boys. Yes, with a Z.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 And what do I want to plug? Look, we have new throwback tees out there available. Technicality, no-down boo-over.
Hey, Nongman ain't nothing to fuck with throwback tees.

Speaker 1 If you buy one throwback t-shirt, you can get a second 30% off with code throwbacks at podswag.com slash comedy. Bang bang.
We also have action figures.

Speaker 1 The Entree Pinure and Taliano Jones ones just came out. Series 2 has just started, and these are dynamite-looking.
They're really great.

Speaker 1 Series 2 is going to have Forval and Dalton Wilcox and Jason Manzukas and Reggie Watts. Really good series.
So get in right now. You can get these at figurecollections.com.

Speaker 1 We also have Series 1 still available. And European customers can go to actionfigureseller.com.
All right. I think that's enough for me.
Let's close up the old plug bag.

Speaker 1 It's time to Open up the floor bag

Speaker 1 twenty twenty-five,

Speaker 1 open up the floor bag,

Speaker 1 and then you are alive.

Speaker 1 Open up the floor bag,

Speaker 1 twenty-twenty-five.

Speaker 1 Open up the floor bag,

Speaker 1 and then you are alive.

Speaker 1 By the way, huge news. I credited G2 Pilots with the opening the plug back theme.
No, that was Plug Estage by Sean Fogel. That was Open Up the Plug Back 2025.
Then You Are Alive by G2 Pilots.

Speaker 1 So thanks to both of those freaks for putting those together.

Speaker 1 Guys, I want to thank you so much, Max, Gabe. First of all, congratulations, Gabe.
You're in the One Timers Club. It's so much more prestigious than the One Timers Club.
It feels huge.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's huge. And please email me again.
I would love to.

Speaker 1 I will give myself.

Speaker 1 And Max, what more needs to be said? Well, I'll see you next year.

Speaker 1 Many people online have said the same thing about the set

Speaker 1 in Lincoln. What more needs to be said? Isn't that we find a way?

Speaker 1 And Arnold de Bobo.

Speaker 1 The sooner you're out of here, the better.

Speaker 1 I've

Speaker 1 been so many times. Yeah, no, that's typically how people say goodbye to me.
Yeah, exactly. You're just influencing us all to say stuff like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
I kind of put that out there earlier.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The sooner the better.
And Ethan Merck, how's it going?

Speaker 1 It's good, but we have like 10 seconds before the end of the day.

Speaker 8 Okay, I once helped a widow find an ex-house.

Speaker 1 Hey, well, I'm sorry, we're out of time. We'll see you next time.
Thanks. Bye.

Speaker 11 Hey, weirdos.

Speaker 1 I'm Elena and I'm Ash.

Speaker 12 And we are the host of Morbid Podcast.

Speaker 11 Each week, we dive into the dark and fascinating world of true crime, spooky history, and the unexplained.

Speaker 12 From infamous killers and unsolved mysteries to haunted places and strange legends, we cover it all with research, empathy, humor, and a few creative expletives.

Speaker 11 It's smart, it's spooky, and it's just the right amount of weird.

Speaker 12 Two new episodes drop every week, and there's even a bonus once a month.

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