BOO-nus Bang: The Exorcism of Hot Dog (Jason Mantzoukas, Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins)

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Speaker 1 Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here, and welcome to another bonus bang, or again, should I say bonus bang?

Speaker 1 We don't have any data on whether I should be saying bonus bang or bonus bang, but you be the judge after you listen to this episode. What are bonus bangs or bonus bangs?

Speaker 1 It's where we re-release great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall.

Speaker 1 Now, in keeping with the spirit of this spooky season, we are bringing you a brief, brief series of eerie episodes that we're calling Boonis Bangs. Now, this episode is called The Exorcism of Hot Dog.

Speaker 1 It's historic, not just because, you know, last week for the Boonus Bang, we heard the very first Comedy Bang Bang exorcism, but this is our second exorcism.

Speaker 1 And it's also historic because it was our 850th episode. This one was originally released on February 11th, 2024.
So fairly recently. We have friend of the show Jason Manzoukas joining us.

Speaker 1 Plus we have Andy Daly as British Royal Watcher Byron Denniston and Paul F. Tompkins as Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber.

Speaker 1 Now, if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, become a subscriber at cbbworld.com.

Speaker 1 We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen.

Speaker 1 We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this Boonus Bang.

Speaker 1 Comedy Bang Bang,

Speaker 1 Comedy Bangbang, Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 1 If you read this catchphrase, then you might be a podcast host. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much to Tall F Pompkins for that wonderful catchphrase submission, Tall F Pompkins. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang indeed.
This is episode number 850.

Speaker 1 That is right, 850 episodes of the Comedy Bang Bang podcast, including approximately 800 of those. I have had no dings on them as I realize I need to put it on Do Not Disturb.
And there we are.

Speaker 1 It's on.

Speaker 1 This will be a dingless podcast.

Speaker 1 This will be a dingless podcast. Dingling, please.

Speaker 1 Shimmy. Shimmy.
Shimmy. I'm just getting around.
Shimmy, what are you doing here? Gotta go? Oh, that's right. You really zipped right out of it.
Very brief. Very brief from Shimmy.

Speaker 1 Did you think that that catchphrase was meant to be read in a Jeff Foxworthy voice? I tried to give it a Jeff Foxworthy spin without sort of tipping. Oh, your impressions are so subtle.

Speaker 1 Yes, too subtle, some would say.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I just feel compelled to stop in real quick to point out that it was me who taught you how to put your computer on Do Not Disturb.

Speaker 1 August Lint. Oh my God.
And he's got a lot of fun. What a delight.
And he jumped right out a window. August, are you hanging out with Shimmy today? What's going on?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he and I are taking a walking tour of Hollywood. Oh, gotta go.
Yes, I'm for you, Twain.

Speaker 1 Who knew those guys were buds? I had no buds. Isn't it cool when you realize that people you know independent of each other are friends?

Speaker 1 It seems like August Lint, by the way, that was about a year ago he was on the show. I feel like he never went back to Germany.
He's just been hanging out here, ran into Shimmy. I don't know.

Speaker 1 What's going on with the Schmiderberg Pretzel Factory? I mean, without him there. We talked a lot about a biopic and all of that.

Speaker 1 You were not here for that. I wasn't.

Speaker 1 I do want to introduce you, though, because even though some people may recognize your dulcet tones, we have new listeners to the show who may not know who you are. Let's go through your credits.
Go.

Speaker 1 The league. And we're done.

Speaker 1 The league. That movie that just went to Paramount Plus very early on in the pandemic.
Of course.

Speaker 1 With Mark Wahlberg. Yep.
Infinite. Infinite.
That's right. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 It has penetrated the zeitgeist. It was not referring to the number of watches on Paramount Plus, apparently.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the voice of Mucinex. Of course, of course.
Mr. Mucus.
Mr. Mucus?

Speaker 1 Is that his name? His name is Mr. Mucus.
Has he ever been called that on the actual

Speaker 1 and you know what? And

Speaker 1 call him. Put some respect, Mr.
Mucus. Should I take Mr.
Mucus' name out of my mouth?

Speaker 1 I'd love to take Mr. Mucas out of my mouth.
Oh, boy. Welcome to Mason.

Speaker 1 He has his own podcast called How Did This Get Made, which is right here on the Earwolf Network. Please welcome back to the show, Jason Manzukas.
850 episodes. Can you imagine

Speaker 1 doing that many of anything? Boy, we got old. Yeah, really?

Speaker 1 It's no good. How is that? 800.
Think about that. 850 episodes.
You know, I don't like growing old, but I'm glad that I did. Oh, nice work.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I don't like growing old, but I'd love to watch you walk away. Hey, Shibby.
I thought you were walking away. I don't know.
I'm getting around again. All right.
Can I see your butt as you leave? Sure.

Speaker 1 Get a good look. I think these guys are stuck in the yard.

Speaker 1 I don't know what they're still doing here. They keep saying they have to go.
I think they're skinny to be in the pool. Oh, okay.
That's why his butt's out. That's fine.
I got to go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I didn't know August Lipp was going to be.

Speaker 1 It's not

Speaker 1 no need to announce your departure.

Speaker 1 They're not announcing their arrivals, just departures.

Speaker 1 Jay, it's great to have you back on the show.

Speaker 1 So excited to be here. Especially for 2024.
2024. Can you believe it? Yeah.
We got here. I remember when I was a kid, I thought the year 2000 seemed so far away.
Yeah. In the Conan bit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 2000. I was so far away from that Conan bit.
Yeah. Yeah.
And now here we are. Now here we are.
We're almost as

Speaker 1 we're a quarter century past the year 2000. Past Y2K.
Remember when all of our computers completely crashed and we couldn't use them anymore? It was chaos for a good three years.

Speaker 1 Plunged into an analog life. That's right.

Speaker 1 We were forced to say ones and zeros to each other.

Speaker 1 That's it. One, zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one, one, zero zero.
This is conversation. This is what, 2000 to like 2002.
You know, a lot of times. Did I hear my name?

Speaker 1 Oh, who's this?

Speaker 1 Yes. Wait, new, new, new arrival.
I'm Robo Shimmy.

Speaker 1 Robo Shimmy. Let me guess.
Got to go.

Speaker 1 Robo Shimmy. Wow.
My God.

Speaker 1 Hello. Hey, y'all.
Oh, hey, Jimmy. Did you see a robot? Yes.

Speaker 1 Did you create a mad robot? I did.

Speaker 1 I took a page out of Erkel's book.

Speaker 1 Just that one, I hope.

Speaker 1 Just that one. No, I don't want to have

Speaker 1 a smooth French alter ego.

Speaker 1 so you in fact did do that that's all i know about her cobalt okay

Speaker 1 i wonder i've been a robot all along i got the girl

Speaker 1 is that canon though oh my gosh maybe he just thinks he's we have to reframe everything about august lint i wonder if uh shimmy created an ai that's going to take over the world wouldn't that be ironic that would be pretty incredible or if like the robot shimmy is some sort of terminator situation yes uh a a terminator version of shimmy that's oh wow how interesting a terminator version of Shimmy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't think the Terminators were versions of anyone.
Maybe.

Speaker 1 In the Terminator franchise. I bet they were a version of someone.
Okay. Oh, you think that Arnold, Arnold? Let me try to say his name one more time.
Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold was

Speaker 1 this is actually a good idea for a spin-off or a sequel or a franchise movie. The person that the Terminator was based on, and he doesn't like the machines, and he fights them.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And then suddenly he has to face off against him. He resents with Cyberdyne Industries.
Oh, man. He has to do face-off.
He has to do a face-off.

Speaker 1 And then you find out that he swapped minds with the Terminator. So it's a face-off and a mindset? Yes.
It's a parent trap. Not a parent trap.
What is it? Freaky Friday. Freaky Friday.

Speaker 1 Freaky Friday face-off situation. Freaky Friday face-off.
That would be incredible. Okay, I'm scrapping the Terminator idea.
I just want to do Freaky Friday face-off,

Speaker 1 where mom. I know, I know.
It's there.

Speaker 1 Jimmy, I gotta go.

Speaker 1 No, I know. Please don't come back.

Speaker 1 Freaky Friday face-off where. Isn't that girlfriend in a coma? Yeah.
Freaky Friday face-off where a mom and a daughter, they switch bodies and then they do a face-off situation.

Speaker 1 But then it's like. Why do they do the face-off if they've already switched bodies? Because they're tired of not having their own face.
Oh.

Speaker 1 So they're in each other's bodies, but they face swap so that they can go back to their normal lives.

Speaker 1 So it's like young Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis, they swap bodies and then they switch faces. But then Jamie Lee Curtis has her face on a very tiny body.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 hold on. I think I just found out my new case.
I was just going to say, Jamie Lee Curtis. You just slowed down.

Speaker 1 You slowed down. Broke eye contract.

Speaker 1 Broke eye contract. I broke our eye contract.

Speaker 1 Looked wistfully at

Speaker 1 each other. We did contract.
We just have to be

Speaker 1 able to see it throughout the entire time.

Speaker 1 That's why we don't like the fact that Jimmy and August Lindsay are. They keep distracting me and tempting me to break eye contact.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Well, Jason,

Speaker 1 this is Valentine's week.

Speaker 1 The week of love.

Speaker 1 You have a lot of people knocking down your door. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Everybody's

Speaker 1 knocking at the door of

Speaker 1 the dungeon that I'm living in.

Speaker 1 You do live in a dungeon. I do live in a dungeon.
Anytime I go to see you, I have to cross the moat. I live in a castle dungeon.
Yes, there's a moat.

Speaker 1 I lower the drawbridge. I lower the drawbridge.

Speaker 1 There's an ogre underneath it. You know what? That ogre turns out is very cool.
Really? Yeah. I was, you know what? I judged an ogre by his cover.
Cool like Shrek? Not cool like Shrek.

Speaker 1 See, that's a big thing for him. He's like, I'm not like Shrek.
I'm cool like an actual cool person. Oh, okay.
So he versus like sunglasses and stuff like that? Sunglasses is a big part of it.

Speaker 1 Surf culture. Ogre sunglasses.
What's that? Nothing.

Speaker 1 Wait, what'd you say?

Speaker 1 Thank you, Simmon. We don't need you back here.
Did you say they should make ogre sunglasses? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, do I mean sunglasses for ogre? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. Or sunglasses made of ogre sunglasses.
Yes, okay, like it's ogre bones.

Speaker 1 Are the frames? Ogre bones! Those are the

Speaker 1 ogre bones into my frame.

Speaker 1 Bye. Gotta go!

Speaker 1 Shimmy for August!

Speaker 1 August is lost! Marco! They're on a tandem bike! Marco!

Speaker 1 And they can't find you, just look behind you. One of us says Marco and the other says polo.
We don't just keep both say Marco and Polo.

Speaker 1 August, just look over your shoulder. He's right behind you on the tandem bike.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I'm right behind him, Arna.

Speaker 1 Jason. Ogre Bones is worth it.
Ogre Bones.

Speaker 1 Sorry, we left off at Ogre Bones.

Speaker 1 Well, it is the week of love for all of our listeners out there.

Speaker 1 Will you flood the house with flowers? Will you,

Speaker 1 you know, is it chocolate? That's not just Valentine's Day. Yeah, that's, I treat every day as if it's Valentine's.
And then on Valentine's Day, I ignore it. Do nothing.

Speaker 1 Savage. What a, what a move.
Power move. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, well, Jason, it's great to have you. We do need to get to our first guest.
Oh, wow. Why?

Speaker 1 I would love to. We uh, actually, it's first guests, if that's okay.
Why not? Because uh, they're here together.

Speaker 1 Uh, we last spoke to them, I believe it was uh episode somewhere around 799 or 801, somewhere around there.

Speaker 1 Somewhere in that realm, in that range.

Speaker 1 They attended the coronation together. Of course.

Speaker 1 Please. Of the new king.
Of the new Charles. King Charles, and we want to catch up with him, see what's been going on.
But please welcome back to the show

Speaker 1 Byron Dennis. I wanted to say Byron Donaldson.
That's someone different.

Speaker 1 Is it even a person? I think so. Do you know someone? Yeah, let me look up Byron Donaldson.
Simply Simply must be. If you are Byron Donaldson, please do get in touch.

Speaker 1 I guess it's not a person. It's not a person.
There's no such a person as Byron Donaldson. There's no such person as Byron Donaldson anyway.

Speaker 1 I'm glad

Speaker 1 we stepped down to research. That combination of names has never been used.
There is a Byron Donaldson, and if he has a son, I hope that he names him Byron.

Speaker 1 So this name would clear legal. Yes, that's right.
We can go ahead and use it. Yes.
With Byron Denniston not. Byron Denniston has final draft open.
What are are you like?

Speaker 1 What's going on?

Speaker 1 It's just final draft 16. The cursor is going on on a character's name that he hasn't put in yet.
This is perfect. Byron Donaldson.
Please feel free to. Feel free to use it.

Speaker 1 But Byron Denniston is here and Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber. Yes, hello.
Don't know I was introduced second. I am a lord.
I beg your pardon. Well, don't they say save the best for last?

Speaker 1 Oh, Scott Rick, you've done it again.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to the show, guys. So is it okay if I call you guys? You are English gentlemen.
Oh, yes. No, I enjoy your American colloquialisms and various casual conversation techniques.

Speaker 1 I think they're wonderful.

Speaker 1 For myself, I prefer chaps. Okay, chaps.
Yes, I like chaps too. These two chaps?

Speaker 1 Yeah, chaps. I'm turning up my volume.

Speaker 1 It's my microphone working.

Speaker 1 It is, but can you hear the turn up the headphones? Can you hear the two of us or the three of us, rather, but not yourself? Something like that. No, there I am.
Ah, fine. Ah, wow.

Speaker 1 fine this is here in a time here in america it is clockwise to go louder i don't know what it is there it's quite different to jolly old england yes yes it's big ben wise to go big ben wise you must go big benwise go big ben wise for louder ogre bones and big ben wise big benwise balls please welcome ogre bones and big benwise

Speaker 1 they'd never be on the same bill i know it's a flight of fancy bars i suppose i suppose something i would hear in bad cinderella by andrew lloyd webber please i i'm so sorry to bring that up.

Speaker 1 Don't bring it up.

Speaker 1 Do you never want to hear the words bad or Cinderella?

Speaker 1 Not in such close company.

Speaker 1 I'm not familiar with that. Is it

Speaker 1 you should be, Byron? Did you know that Norman Juleson was not Jewish?

Speaker 1 Here's why I bring it up.

Speaker 1 He recently passed away. Indeed, and he directed the film version of Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Which is so wildly anti-Semitic as a film. And I thought to myself, well, at least.
Why would you say that?

Speaker 1 One moment. What?

Speaker 1 what is it what how is it anti-Semitic well they no wildly anti-Semitic well I consider it anti-Semitic of course wildly though watch this now yeah I thought it was just canon that uh

Speaker 1 the people who killed Jesus were uh

Speaker 1 Jewish

Speaker 1 yes but they're not they're not necessarily cartoonishly evil with giant leather balloon hats I swear it's a bit over the top you feel that the hats are anti-Semitic yes I do if it weren't for the hats if they had say regular hats I think it'd be fine.

Speaker 1 Regular hats like what? Like a Sherlock Holmes?

Speaker 1 What do they call it? The Deerstalker hat. Dierstalker.
Wonderful. That's a good hat.

Speaker 1 It was the 70s, darling.

Speaker 1 This is what wardrobe design was like then. It has nothing to do with religion.
Also, if we're going to get into it,

Speaker 1 the crucifixion of Jesus Christ was a collab between the Jewish people and the Romans. That's right.
It was Jewish people times Romans. Exactly.
Roman. I'm just saying.
Or I would say

Speaker 1 I would say Romans parentheses feet, period.

Speaker 1 The Jews. Close parentheses.
Romans, feet. Boy, that's another one of my kings.
These are all

Speaker 1 searches that are auto-filling on your computer.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought maybe you're one of those blokes who thinks about Roman feet five times a day.

Speaker 1 Guys, it's wonderful, or chaps, rather, it's wonderful to have you back.

Speaker 1 You, now, I don't know that you knew each other on the last uh episode or maybe you did i can't remember but it seems like you're close friends we don't necessarily measure time by episodes you and i but no we don't i sort of measure it by the days of my life yes yes yes yes but i i we we met quite a while ago i think you know i i presented myself as a uh a very wealthy backer of uh west end shows and it took several months before you realized i wasn't really but by then we were friends no not at all he hoped to go to shows for free so that he could see royals there yes

Speaker 1 i see i wanted to go on the nights when the royals would be there. Those were normally the premiere nights, I would think.

Speaker 1 Or are they going like, you know, five weeks later when the cast has settled in? They're very canny. Ah.
The royals. They do wait a bit.
Do they really? Yes. Let's let them find their feet, they say.

Speaker 1 How interesting. Sorry to excite you.

Speaker 1 The Roman feet.

Speaker 1 Yes, but you know, I always wanted to be in the audience when the Royals were there with a clear view of the Royals and simply watching them the entire time and never the show. Now it's your show.

Speaker 1 The show you're there to watch is them watching the show. That's right.
And that doesn't go down so well with Walden.

Speaker 1 Were you requesting that Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber turn an entire seat around facing the other way? Yes, right in front of them, a row right in front of them.

Speaker 1 It's almost like when you ride a train, right?

Speaker 1 I wish he had requested it rather than just did it.

Speaker 1 Well, yes, I brought some power tools along and I sort of just updated the tools. Those are the right kind of tools for this kind of situation.

Speaker 1 Imagine the look of shock on the face of Betty Buckley walking out there and seeing one theater seat turned around with sawdust still on the floor from where he sawn it from its very mooring.

Speaker 1 Like it was some sort of a bar with sawdust on the floor or something.

Speaker 1 A draft house. All right.

Speaker 1 Haven't you ever been to one of those with peanuts on the floor and sawdust?

Speaker 1 You ought to rethink that question. I'm so sorry.
What do you drink? Are you do you do you tipple?

Speaker 1 Oh, I like a bit of sherry. I like a brandy after a fine meal.
I see.

Speaker 1 Port.

Speaker 1 I love a port. Tawny tawny port.

Speaker 1 With a digestive? Are all of your meals fine meals, though, I would imagine? Yes, indeed. So you're just drinking port all the time.
All the time. Oh, I feel like you are like

Speaker 1 a gout magnet. I feel like you've got gout all the time.
So, like, such rich eating. I haven't been called that since I was in public school.

Speaker 1 This guy, total gout. Here comes Andy, the gout magnet.
Are you just eating sweetbreads every meal? I love sweetbreads. If it's inside an animal, get it inside me.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So a little bit of brain. Oh, dear.
Byron,

Speaker 1 you attended the coronation.

Speaker 1 I think we were talking to you beforehand.

Speaker 1 That's what I was trying to remember. Or was it after? I think it was prior to King Coronation.
And you debuted the song that you were going to have sung in Lloyd Weber. That's correct.

Speaker 1 How did this all go over? Everything.

Speaker 1 Well, it was...

Speaker 1 It was fascinating. I had to get into sort of an elaborate disguise.
No, you don't say it.

Speaker 1 She has just sort of of passed myself off as someone else but i i sat with the lord weber and we had a lot that's right i think we i think we saw pictures of this you were next to lord andrew lloyd weber yes in some sort of like and i i hide

Speaker 1 did you have a mustache some sort of like monty python mr creos

Speaker 1 the disguise disguise well anyone has ever seen pistachio disguise from

Speaker 1 master of disguise i don't know what that is sort of like the mr turtle case the character's name is pistachio disguisey i see I'm honest. Disguise.

Speaker 1 Absolute best makeup department available. Rick Baker did this for you? Yes, Rick Baker.

Speaker 1 And the absolute best wig maker. Did Rick Baker still have some of the clump stuff lying around? You're just like, look, I'm going to wear clothes over it.
Clump stuff.

Speaker 1 The clumps. You're not familiar with them.
Oh, the clumps. Oh, yeah.
Starr Eddie Murphy. They're Eddie Murphy.
Oh, my God. They're in that film.
Yes, wonderful. Oh, my God.
So good, so good.

Speaker 1 He did hire Rick Baker. And I thought it was a bit unusual that halfway through the singing of Blake's Jerusalem, Byron Denniston started to turn into a werewolf.

Speaker 1 Yes, it was a very elaborate makeup. It sort of self-turns into a werewolf.
Yes, it was stealing focus, if you don't mind my saying.

Speaker 1 You were in London. True indeed.

Speaker 1 Where werewolf transformations are endemic? And my attire was perfect.

Speaker 1 Because I hired Cher's wigmaker to make myself a wig shaker.

Speaker 1 She was just here a couple of weeks ago. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Her voice doesn't sound so good. I know she was in the car.
She doesn't remember how to sing, I got you, babe. I know.

Speaker 1 Did Bob Mackey make all the clothes? Absolutely. And my sunglasses would buy Dolce, not Gabbana.
Oh, not.

Speaker 1 A solo side project.

Speaker 1 But the finest outfit. And yet, people online immediately zeroed in on me and said, that man's in disguise.

Speaker 1 We were sent this picture a lot saying, this is obviously Byron everyone figured it out within disguise I can't believe it I can't believe it I spent a fortune trying to look like anything like a regular man

Speaker 1 did you look up an image search of regular man yes I had pictures all over the makeup trailer regular man regular man it look it looked like nothing so much as

Speaker 1 a woman disguised as a man. Yeah, it was like a reverse Mrs.
Doubtfire. Well, it did.
That is, that was Baker's approach. First, he made me look like a woman.

Speaker 1 Ah, Baker, then he made me look like a man because he said there's no way to really make a man. That's how he looks.
From a man. Only God made you itch.

Speaker 1 Only God made you. Did he start with a

Speaker 1 rib? Yeah,

Speaker 1 he starts with a hand rib. He builds a woman around it.

Speaker 1 Then he puts on male lacoutremote. I'm sorry.
I skipped a step. First, I was an ape.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And then I was a woman. And then I was a woman.
Now, original Planet of the Apes style or Tim Burton Planet of the Apes? Oh, no, original Planet of the Apes. Okay,

Speaker 1 may I ask a question about the Planet of the Apes series of films? Sure.

Speaker 1 Why are they still happening?

Speaker 1 And it'll be a decade in between them, it feels like. Or more.
Yeah, it just feels like there is no demand for them, and then suddenly one will pop up of like, hey, this is coming out. You'll be like,

Speaker 1 people have been working for years on the years of their lives. Finally, it's out.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I feel as if after the very first Planet of the Apes film,

Speaker 1 seemed all tidally wrapped up, no need to explore any further. You maniacs, you did it.
There is shockingly so many of that series. So many.
Even the

Speaker 1 recent Matt Reeves series. The original film series, there's like eight of them.
I tell you, I've always felt that beneath the planet of the apes was

Speaker 1 beneath the planet of the apes.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see. Quite beneath.

Speaker 1 The same thing, I must say, the same thing with your Godzilla. Why are they still after the first Godzilla movie? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How do you ever say, let's bring it back?

Speaker 1 And now he's meeting King Kong again for the second time. And it's like, what do they have to talk about? Also, Godzilla Minus One.
What does that title mean? What does that mean?

Speaker 1 That's the new math that kids have to learn. I mean, Godzilla and Kong is like Godzilla plus one.

Speaker 1 Godzilla plus one?

Speaker 1 You think it's it will call.

Speaker 1 But Godzilla Minus One, isn't it a concept film where you're sort of interacting with it? Have you seen this, Byron? No, I've only imagined. Isn't it a concept

Speaker 1 where he's on screen and you're sort of wearing a virtual reality headset and you feel that you're with him? Oh, is that what it is? I believe that is. Oh, okay.
Oh, then I was wrong.

Speaker 1 Are you a VR person? By the way. Yes, absolutely.
Wait, you're not real? No, no, no, I'm real, but I love to put on a real headset. I have no idea.
Are we in your game wearing now?

Speaker 1 I'm not wearing the headset now, so I'm not sure. Wait, is Comedy Bangbang canonically just a VR imagination? Of Byron Dennison, Royal Watcher Byron Dennison? This is like a Saint Elsewhere situation.

Speaker 1 This is. I watched the pilot for Saint Saint Elsewhere recently.

Speaker 1 Why? Pretty bad. Well, especially if you go backwards knowing everything,

Speaker 1 that it's just the imaginations of a child.

Speaker 1 It's hard to take seriously. In The Pilot, was Howie Mandel let off the chain at all? He was allowed to change.
He wasn't really. They're still finding it.
All right. Howie Mandel, very hot comedian.

Speaker 1 And they said, let's put him in this medical drama and let's have him be the mildly amusing character. He is like the Patch Adams of this hospital.
Yeah. I don't believe that's true.

Speaker 1 He doesn't even go as far as Patch Adams.

Speaker 1 He doesn't. He doesn't.
No, I remember tuning in saying, oh, well, he'll be funny. And he wasn't.
Surely he'll do the surgical glove on the head.

Speaker 1 He's in our hospital. Of course, he must.
Never did. Didn't he get a,

Speaker 1 he got some sort of injury from that, didn't he? Yes. Like his nasal cavities or something like that.
From doing the

Speaker 1 rubber glove on the head. Yeah.
Yes.

Speaker 1 You know this for certain? He's got a rubber nose. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 And is that why he has OCD or hypochondria or whatever it is?

Speaker 1 Germaphobia.

Speaker 1 It destroyed the part of his brain that was okay with germs.

Speaker 1 Oh, if we could all do that.

Speaker 1 I'd love to.

Speaker 1 If I were to psychoanalyze him,

Speaker 1 it'd be

Speaker 1 an enthroned psychologist for a moment.

Speaker 1 I believe...

Speaker 1 My theory is that he put surgical gloves on his head so much, gave himself a terrible injury, and then knew he could never go near a surgical glove again.

Speaker 1 It made him terrified of germs. That's right, because say he gets sick and he needs to go under the knife, he's so afraid of them, he'll never be able to do it.
Is that what you mean?

Speaker 1 The surgical gloves. Yes, because he's so afraid of germs, he doesn't want to get an infection because then he'll have to go to the doctor who's wearing.

Speaker 1 No, it's because he can't wear surgical gloves. Oh, and so he can't perform operations.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I think we've unpacked that. He has to think of his own skin as a pair of surgical gloves.

Speaker 1 I see.

Speaker 1 Which no one should be forced to do. I've heard that he has a second home.
His family lives in one home, and he lives next door in a home that he keeps nice and tidy.

Speaker 1 And I think that's a wonderful idea.

Speaker 1 I mean, in a way, it's like just having your own bedroom.

Speaker 1 It's across the street. Is anyone allowed in the other home? I doubt it.

Speaker 1 What would be the point? Yeah, really. Does he go into the house? What's the point of having a family then?

Speaker 1 They don't see each other. They're just neighbors.
I want to know if this entire house is meant to be the paragon of neatness and orderliness. I'd like to have a look at it and see if it really is.

Speaker 1 Is it really the family that's holding him back from keeping his house clean or is it himself? Do you think you'll become a Howie Mandel watcher eventually instead of just a royal watcher?

Speaker 1 It's possible. I have to tell you, I've been, since the coronation, a bit bored with the royals.

Speaker 1 Well, I was going to say, are there any, like, you've also, it seems like, been spending quite a lot of time stateside here. Have you found any local people to decide to get into?

Speaker 1 It sounds like you're getting into it. I mean, Howie Mandel Mandela is kind of the king of comedy.

Speaker 1 American royalty, as close as it comes. Yeah.
Used to be the Kennedys, but I'm afraid the crown is rather charming. They've been new usurped.

Speaker 1 Careful, you're talking about someone from the comedy community.

Speaker 1 Cheryl Hines' husband. Yes.

Speaker 1 We protect our own.

Speaker 1 That's a bad idea.

Speaker 1 She doesn't disagree. She doesn't agree with him on everything.
She's been very clear.

Speaker 1 okay with everything that's going on though, currently, it seems like. She just says, look, but my husband and I, we're different people.
We have different thoughts. He's insane.
I'm not.

Speaker 1 Or maybe I'm just someone who loves being married to an insane person. You don't both have to be sane in order to be married.
Right, of course not.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, I mean, there's not been a lot going on, Byron.

Speaker 1 Well, there wasn't for quite a while. And I began to get into,

Speaker 1 well, Lloyd Webb and I have been heavily into competitive jigsaw puzzling. Just as a sort of thing, yes, we've been doing this.

Speaker 1 Watching other people do it or doing it yourself, doing it ourselves. All of it.
I mean, we've jigsawed against one another, indeed. Then we've teamed up to jigsaw against another team.

Speaker 1 You jigsaw against one another. Is it like someone puts down a piece and the other person just takes it out? Yes, pretty much.

Speaker 1 And is there like a chess clock?

Speaker 1 You put a piece in, hit the clock, boom, boom, click it. The other person just takes it out, throws it away.
Well, you can't throw it away. You don't do that with chess.

Speaker 1 Puts it in the pieces and mixes them up. Yes, but

Speaker 1 then you put in a piece. It cannot be the same piece.

Speaker 1 Different pieces. Very interesting.

Speaker 1 This sounds fascinating. We've also stopped watching all the Saw films together.
Yes, they're amazing. Oh, that jigsaw.
What will he get up to next? He's cheeky.

Speaker 1 I know, I know. Pretty cheeky monkey.
Saw one through eight and then jigsaw and then saw X? Exactly. Interesting.
So, how far have you gotten? Into the jigsaw films? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How many are there? I think there's 10. About halfway through.
But you know what? I messed up and I watched the most recent one after watching the second one.

Speaker 1 Chronologically, it comes in between one and two.

Speaker 1 It does, but I watched it between two and three. Oh, my.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you tell me? Well, I felt ashamed.

Speaker 1 How did you guys get into this? Did someone say, do you want to play a game referring to puzzles? And the other person said, oh, the saw films.

Speaker 1 It happened rather organically. Or worse.
Yes, it did.

Speaker 1 I said, I'm such a huge fan of jigsaws. And you said, well, then we should watch this.

Speaker 1 And you were a bit confused. Yes.
And I had meant the jigsaw puzzle, and you had meant the jigsaw character. And these are the sorts of things we get up to.

Speaker 1 It was a real chocolate and peanut butter for you.

Speaker 1 So that's so. Are you living together?

Speaker 1 We're living. Now we have houses next door to one another.
Oh, okay. Well, you know, it's just the way I want it.
I had a spot of bother recently. You don't say? There was a poltergeist in my home.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I had to hire an exorcist. Here's what would happen.

Speaker 1 I would be in my home, and then, you know, I have scripts lying around. And then I would go into, I would, I would leave a room, go into a room, and then the script would be in a neat pile.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine anything more chilling than that? It sounds to me like Byron was coming over and visiting and just like rearranging tidy scenes. Is that so? Well,

Speaker 1 I guess

Speaker 1 I was ashamed and didn't want to go off. I have a thing for neatening up.
I just do. Well, I do appreciate it.
But I did, I am terrified of the supernatural, so I did call an exorcist to come in.

Speaker 1 And I shouldn't have given him the credit, I suppose. It was Byron doing this all alone.
No, no, no, give him the credit because he did ask me to stop coming into your house unannounced.

Speaker 1 But I did find that he, after the fact, he was the worst exorcist I could have hired. No.
The exorcist from hell?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 he put something in there? No, he's just incompetent. Oh, okay.
I looked in the Guinness Book of World Records. Oh,

Speaker 1 we know that guy. Yeah, I know somebody who works there.
He's the least successful exorcist.

Speaker 1 The least successful. Usually they get records.
Padre Davide Benvenuto. Oh, that guy.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 our friend was talking about him. He's actually caused more people to become possessed than he has exorcised demons.
Remarkable. He's in the book.

Speaker 1 Do you know, have you ever met this person that we're talking about? I do think so. Fred Guinness.
Oh, Fred Guinness. I think I have met him.
You have met Fred Guinness. Yes, I do think quite a while.

Speaker 1 Well, he was over the phone. He lives in Ireland.

Speaker 1 I think I've met him, have I? No, dude. Should we give him a call?

Speaker 1 We could call Fred Guinness. We couldn't call him.
He always takes the call. Yeah, let me see if I can hear.
Okay, I'm dialing dialing the phone. Beep, boop, beep, beep, beep.

Speaker 1 Why are you saying beep boop while I'm dialing the phone? I was nervous. The listener wouldn't know that we were making it.
They're hearing it as I call. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought you were trying to fill time in the silence. No, no.

Speaker 1 In between the real beeps. You were pressing buttons, and the no beeps was happening in my cans.
So

Speaker 1 the listener's just hearing damage. No, the listeners are hearing it.
They're just not

Speaker 1 cans.

Speaker 1 Let me press the last number.

Speaker 1 It's ringing.

Speaker 1 It's ringing.

Speaker 3 Still ringing. Go for goodness.

Speaker 1 Hi, Fred. Scotty.

Speaker 1 Hey, Fred.

Speaker 1 What's going on? Hey, what is that? Jason here. Jason's here with me.
Jason, hello. Guess who else is here? Is this what I sound like?

Speaker 1 I don't remember. Maybe I sound more like this.
That's right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who else is there? Who else you got?

Speaker 1 Byron Dennison is here. Byron.
Royal Watcha.

Speaker 3 Nice to make your acquaintance again, Byron.

Speaker 1 Lovely. Now, what's going on, guys?

Speaker 1 Well, we also have someone else here. Who? Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber.
Hello.

Speaker 1 Are you in the book, Andrew Lloyd Weber? I would think you would be most successful.

Speaker 1 Longest running show.

Speaker 1 I did hold that record for quite a while. For Les Miz.
Wonderful. I love his Les Miz.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite of your shows, Andrew Lloyd Weber. Not one of mine.
What about Sweeney Todd? I love Sweeney Todd is one of my favorites. Not one of mine.

Speaker 1 Seems like it should be, though. It's so popular.
Assassins?

Speaker 1 That's not one of mine. The color purple.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Have any of you heard of bleeding cats? Bleeding cats? Bleeding cats? I'd love to. I do.
I regretted it as soon as it was out of my mouth.

Speaker 1 Hi.

Speaker 1 Yes, hello.

Speaker 1 It's a pleasure to meet you. Well, the pleasure is mine.
You're a lord. Yes, I am, but not the lord.

Speaker 1 I'm not religious.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, you do hold the record for

Speaker 3 most successful person to have an absolute flop on Broadway.

Speaker 1 Don't remind him.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, we were talking about bad Cinderella. Bad Cinderella, that's correct.
What was so bad about her?

Speaker 1 Ticket sales.

Speaker 1 Very funny.

Speaker 1 Well, when you call something bad to whatever, it's just inviting those kind of headlines.

Speaker 1 It is a risk, but if it's successful, then of course you get the reviews that say bad Cinderella is anything but. That's true.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what you hope for. Yes, that's what they were hoping for, I believe, with Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Beneath the Planet of the Apes is above the Planet of the Apes, as far as this critic is concerned. What a great headline, but it simply never materialized.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Planet of the Apes now holds the record for most movies. Well, oh, really? Yep, just across the entire franchise, across all movies, across all movies, including movies.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 the majority of films concern Planet of the Apes, no, or planets themselves.

Speaker 3 I don't really parse these things, it's just most movies.

Speaker 1 Wow, okay, yeah,

Speaker 1 that's what it sounds like. I don't know.
I'm wavering on it, but I'm gonna go with it. I didn't know I was gonna get this call today, so I didn't really bone up on my own voice.

Speaker 1 Do you have to go? I'll ask Jimmy, or oh, is Jimmy there?

Speaker 1 Well, he's somewhere around here, along with August. You should have put your phone on.
Do not disturb, Fred Guinness. August

Speaker 1 Hoggie dog. Oh, I almost said hot dog.
I didn't want to do that. Wait.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. It's so early to have this many people here.

Speaker 1 I didn't say what's up, hot dog.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. No.

Speaker 1 It's the hot dog Doppler effect. He's phasing in and out.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. He's here.
Fred, I think we have to go. We have to talk to hot dog.
Okay, bye.

Speaker 1 That was the voice. I came here to talk to Fred Guinness.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
He just hung up.

Speaker 1 He was just on the phone. Oh, well, I'll catch up with him later.

Speaker 1 Hot dog, before you go, and we do have to take a break in a second, but I did.

Speaker 1 Anything going on with Sean Una?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, there's a lot going on with Sean Una. What's going on with Sean Una? Well, you know, Shanana called it quits, but I got in touch with Screaming Scott Simon

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 Donnie. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, they called it quits. There's no more Shannon Air.
Well, you go to their website, and it's just there's a big announcement there.

Speaker 1 We broke the news on this very podcast. Yeah, they have no further tour dates.
Yeah, I don't think anyone went on that website until we actually broke the news.

Speaker 1 Do you think this technically is the foremost Shannon Ah podcast in the kitchen? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got to hope so. Are you doing a Shawn Hannah recap podcast? No, I do a podcast called A Skiing and A Rockin'

Speaker 1 or something like that. But we talk about Sean and Ah in there quite a lot.
But it's not really a Sean Ah podcast. Have you thought about doing a Sean A

Speaker 1 Shannon Air podcast called Are You Nanaang My Share?

Speaker 1 Are you Nan Nayang My Shair? I mean, I haven't thought about it, but I'm thinking about it now.

Speaker 1 Well, here's what I've said to Green Scott Simon. I said, hey, can I buy the name Sean Ana from you? It's just lying fine.
I can operate as Sean Ana.

Speaker 1 That was my plan. And we're talking about it.
He wants $10 million.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of money. And I don't know how I'm going to scrape that together, but that's what I wanted to talk to Fred Giddis about.
What if you just called it something similar, but

Speaker 1 you know, without the confusion in the marketplace that would lead to people thinking you're Shauna? You know, something like Sean Nuh.

Speaker 1 Sean.

Speaker 1 Nuh-uh. How would you spell it?

Speaker 1 Shaw-N-U-H-U-H, probably. Nuh-uh.
Wait, wait, wait. What have you put the emphasis on the middle now?

Speaker 1 Shawnana. Sha Nana.
Still spell it the same way? Let's go, girls.

Speaker 1 I think that's a good idea. And you could capitalize that A, right? So these people know that that's right.

Speaker 1 Put it in italics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shanana. What if you did a band that sang Shania Twain songs in the style of Shanana and it was Shanana Twain?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 It's like a dread depth. Yes, exactly.
Oh, those guys were great. They really were, man.
I didn't play them. I have all their records.
That was like a real.

Speaker 1 They had a real moment for what they were doing. They played

Speaker 1 They played the palace. Hotsam, Chamali, Ahab.
Remember, their Moby pick was great. They were a legit reggae band.
Yeah, it shouldn't have worked, but it did. It did.
It did. Tortilvis.

Speaker 1 And now, here's my question.

Speaker 1 Did it really work? I can't believe we're all

Speaker 1 know so much about Dred Zeppelin. If you're listening, we all love you.

Speaker 1 If you're a white guy in your 50s, you have a lot of shots, a lot of Dred Zeppelin information.

Speaker 1 Tortellis, send us some t-shirts for the television. Please.

Speaker 1 So $10 million, you don't know how you're going to raise this. Oh, that's terrible.

Speaker 1 Do we want to put it out there to the listeners? Maybe the listeners can

Speaker 1 send $5, $10, or maybe even $10 million. That would be GoFundMe.

Speaker 1 That would be great. Yeah, yeah.
Especially the $10 million part.

Speaker 1 If I set up a GoFundMe and somebody just sends $10 million to it, that would be ideal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Would you have any stretch goals? Oh, like beyond the 10 million? Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. And I would give it all to Screaming Scott.

Speaker 1 I would whatever above 10 million also goes to Screaming Scott. Yeah.
And Donnie, of course. But

Speaker 1 Scream and Scott. What? That's been Screaming Scott.
Screaming Scott and Donnie.

Speaker 1 Can I pitch

Speaker 1 in line with Dred Zeppelin? Are you in line? I got excited. I thought we were going to talk lot of you exactly inline skates I saw I saw that I saw that show in high school oh thank you fantastic

Speaker 1 a a reggae version of Shanana called Janana yes Janana

Speaker 1 you know me I say I like that a lot

Speaker 1 yes

Speaker 1 I do you know I followed Harry and Megan down to Jamaica for the premiere of one love

Speaker 1 and that's right was wonderful and I did I unscrewed the seat and turned it around and watched them watch it and they loved it. And so, yes, I'm a fan of this reggae and all that.

Speaker 1 And a fan of Shandana. Or do you not have any idea? They're heard of them.
They're Americana. Fine.
But for that to be, yes, what did you say? John Ana?

Speaker 1 They're not Americana.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 what do you consider Americana? Well, they're the number one interpreters of American rock and roll. Americana is roots music.
Yeah. Okay.
It's murder ballads and stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean, I consider the 50s to be sort of Americana, wouldn't you?

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
What's the cutoff? Well, you're.

Speaker 1 I don't, the 50s took place all over the world. It's a good point.
Not just here in America. You can't get one over on Hot Dog.

Speaker 1 May I propose... Okay, Dread Zeppelin had,

Speaker 1 it had the reggae thing. Yeah.
It had the Elvis thing. Yes.
And it had the Zeppelin thing. Three things.
Three things.

Speaker 1 So if John Anon has reggae,

Speaker 1 it has Shannon.

Speaker 1 Yes. Which is like doo-wop kind of that rock and roll.

Speaker 1 What if it's also a little further in the future oldies? So it's Jana Na Na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye. Yes.

Speaker 1 Is that Gary Glimmer? But no.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 1 But the tune is a reggae version of it. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 I'm not following.

Speaker 1 It's reggae and Shana na. And you'll see.
That one song.

Speaker 1 Just doing that one song. Stadium number one, something like that.
Isn't that what it's called? Stadium number one. Very good.

Speaker 1 I think Banana Rama also did that song. Oh, wow.
And this leads us directly into the minions, I believe.

Speaker 1 Banana. Oh, Banana.

Speaker 1 Kevin.

Speaker 1 You're a big minion fan. I love the music.
I turned it.

Speaker 1 That's a musical for you.

Speaker 1 I've been trying to get the property. Really?

Speaker 1 They want $10 million.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 We need to do

Speaker 1 two competing GoFundMes. In what universe, I'm sorry, are the minions worth the same amount as the name Sean?

Speaker 1 Give me a break. Give me a break.

Speaker 1 I'm going to

Speaker 1 hit my way around it. I'm going to call them the minions, and I'm going to make them oblong

Speaker 1 horizontally instead of vertically. Oh, so they're just

Speaker 1 wider than they are tall. Yes, they still look like pills, but pills on their side, right?

Speaker 1 Instead of like standing tall, Mike and Ikes, they are on their side, Mike and Ikes. Well, most Micah Nikes and pills are horizontal.
It's very hard to get them to be vertical. Oh, it's impossible.

Speaker 1 Exactly. So mine just makes more sense? Yes.
It does. What color are they going to be?

Speaker 1 Mustard.

Speaker 1 So a darker yellow.

Speaker 1 Like a fancy mustard.

Speaker 1 Of course. Grape seeds.
Oh, have you any grapevine? Of course I do. And so instead of eating bananas, they'll eat lots and lots of mustard.
Exactly. I like it better.

Speaker 1 There will be pots of mustard all about the stage room. That's wonderful.
But you can never see if they make a mess because they are mustard color themselves. Indeed.

Speaker 1 And we will sell mustard at the interval. Oh, really? Oh, there will be a mustard.
Oh, smart. Yes, instead of gin and tonic, you can get a pot of mustard.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. A pot? A pot? A full pot.
It's a pot of mustard. I love it.
May I propose a gin and mustard?

Speaker 1 Now you've got me thinking. This might be the official drink of Comedy Bang Bang.
Gin and mustard?

Speaker 1 Neat. Celebrate 850 episodes.
I love a gin and mustard on the rocks.

Speaker 1 Well, look, guys, we need to take a break if that's okay.

Speaker 1 But who's sticking around? Hot dog, can you stick around? I don't know.

Speaker 1 And Byron, obviously, you'll still be here because we have much to talk about. Indeed.
And Andrew Lloyd-Weber, you can still be here. I don't know.
You don't know? Okay. You may have to leave.

Speaker 1 You may have to. I totally understand if you have to.
This is 850 episodes. People come and go as they please.
Well, indeed. And, of course,

Speaker 1 drove a double-decker bus here. That's right.
I have to feed my meter. And then you're on the top.
You extended that steering wheel

Speaker 1 all the way to the top to devil's drive.

Speaker 1 You're like Hightower in the Police Academy films, like taking out the front seat. You're not the first to say that.

Speaker 1 All right. We need to take a break.
Jason, you'll still be here. When we come back, we'll have more from Byron Denniston.

Speaker 1 Maybe more from Hot Dog. I don't know if Shimmy and August are still around.

Speaker 1 Fred Guinness is on the phone. Who knows? Who knows who else is going to show up? I had to go.
So no. Oh, so you're not here.
Okay, great. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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Speaker 1 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. We have Jason Jason Manzuka here

Speaker 1 and celebrating 850 episodes. Of what, though?

Speaker 1 You haven't said of what? Oh, no, of the Comedy Bang Bang podcast, the podcast you're on right now. Understood.
Do you know that you're on a podcast right now called Comedy Bang Bang? Not entirely.

Speaker 1 No, but now that you've said it, it makes sense. Everyone keeps saying, speak to the microphone.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I'm not saying it enough for an episode of Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 1 You're not hearing any dings, too. That may be what's throwing you off.
Dings, no, no dings. Yeah, yeah.
Normally on Comedy Bang Meg, we have dings where I get choice alerts. Nothing but dings.

Speaker 1 This show has lately just become nothing but dings. And Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber had to leave, apparently, but hot dog, are you still here?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I'm still here. I don't know how I get unsummoned.
You know what I mean? We have to say your name backwards. Oh, all right.
Oh, like

Speaker 1 Mr.

Speaker 1 Mixup? Mixelplex? Mr. Mixelplex.
Yeah, It's hard enough to say his name forwards. It is.
Like, what? Am I going to start saying that guy's name backwards? How would you?

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 But, Byron, tell us.

Speaker 1 I wanted to ask you about something because it just made the news recently and it sort of piqued my interest. But there is some...

Speaker 1 Something going on with the Royals. Oh, indeed.

Speaker 1 Some sort of hospital stay for two of the Royals. Oh, indeed.

Speaker 1 Fill me in. What exactly is happening? Well, all right.
So, you know, I noticed things were rather quiet amongst the royals, you know.

Speaker 1 It sort of sort of seems as though Harry and Megan had sort of gone off and done their thing and whatnot. And the Queen Elizabeth is doing a very good job of keeping a low profile.

Speaker 1 And sure, staying in hiding.

Speaker 1 A few people have seen her, like the Loch Ness monster here and there. Right, right.
But she's really kept a low profile.

Speaker 1 Scott, what are you doing? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Turn the dings off. Sorry.
I'm trying to

Speaker 1 turn these dings off.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, there have been a few sightings like Bigfoot or what have you.

Speaker 1 What a good book.

Speaker 1 What is this? Scott, you really need to turn off the channel. I've seen this journal.

Speaker 1 Oh, for heaven's sake.

Speaker 1 Are you getting? What message is that?

Speaker 1 What message do you get that has a choo-choo? I seriously think it's on Do Not Disturb. I don't know what's happening right here.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that is. Oh, that one was suspenseful.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 Have you updated to the new operating system? Oh, August, you're back. Thank God.
Yeah, I can give you help. Thank God, because I honestly don't know what I'm doing.
You got to press focus. Focus.

Speaker 1 And do you work in the I.T. department in Schmiderberg-Pretzels?

Speaker 1 Well, briefly, yeah, I did, you know, because I was on suspension. Oh, there.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 They're back.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's happening. I don't know who's trying to contact me here.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, can I just read my messages? It's fine. Who's messaging you?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 It's this guy I know.

Speaker 1 This guy,

Speaker 1 his name is.

Speaker 1 It doesn't come up there on the message?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just know him by a different name.

Speaker 1 I know him by his nickname, but

Speaker 1 this guy, the Grizz, it's trying to mess up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, we all know him. No, no, no.
Whatever the Grizz is from what?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no. Oh, I think he.

Speaker 1 I need to unlock the door. Sorry, the Grizz has been trying to get in.
Don't unlock the door. Don't unlock it, actually.
Keep it locked. I need to unlock the gates.

Speaker 1 This is the anti-WTF. I need to unlock the gates.

Speaker 1 Here, let me just...

Speaker 3 Let me just... Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Oh, for Christ's sake.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 It just got...

Speaker 1 Hey, guys. It just got dark out.

Speaker 1 Well, well, well.

Speaker 1 And I live and breathe. Sorry, guys, this is my friend Greg.

Speaker 1 It's me, Greg, in it. Yes, Mr.
Mallet.

Speaker 1 Aka The Grizz.

Speaker 1 You know each other. Oh, yes, we've had innumerable dealings.
Where? The Grizz and die here and there and all around.

Speaker 1 Matter of fact, you know, there was a time when he and I were vying for the same lady, Lady Amelia Spencer, in fact.

Speaker 1 And I'm sorry to say that since the last time we've spoken to you, they have, in fact, become married. Whoa.
That's right. And congrats.
They've known one of them. Congrats, Greg.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you. That's so.
I mean, I didn't know. I didn't get an invite, I guess.
No. I didn't either.
No. And we've met a bunch of times.
You've guys met too? I forgot.

Speaker 1 You invite everybody you've ever met to your wedding. I think so.
I think that's how it works. If you had to, it would probably be what, like 500 people tops, right? Max.

Speaker 1 I did. HBO Max.
I did invite HBO Max.

Speaker 1 He's my mate. What has HBO?

Speaker 1 I was at the wedding, of course, at Grizz's behest. I was compelled to stop.
I made him watch.

Speaker 1 Did you get to object? No, no. Oh, no.
Not only was I made to watch, I dared him to object.

Speaker 1 I definitely could take a big long pause.

Speaker 1 Well, he made me be the ring bearer.

Speaker 1 Did he make you turn your seat around to face everybody? Yes, yes, away from the bride. Oh, no, so they could see the tears streaming down his face.

Speaker 1 It was just simply the entire day was devoted to humiliating me. The number of references and the vows that they wrote, the two of them, to me,

Speaker 1 was striking. People cry.

Speaker 1 I think they were crying in sympathy sympathy with me, in fact. It was so sad.
No, I mean, they were crying, laughing.

Speaker 1 They'd never seen anyone so horribly defeated and humiliated.

Speaker 1 It was really an entire wedding weekend devoted to humiliating me. I had to serve drinks at the cocktail affair.
Oh, wow. So you were like employed.

Speaker 1 But not for money, just to avoid being whipped. It was terrible.
He had several wardrobe changes throughout the day.

Speaker 1 Like what were like silly, silly clothes? What were they? What were they? Depending on the occupation.

Speaker 1 Oh, of course.

Speaker 1 First, yeah, a lovely little pinnetfall when he brought the ring down the aisle.

Speaker 1 Wow, so you were really integrated into the ceremony. Oh, very much so.
Osware is more about you than it was about the couple. It's certainly how it felt to me.

Speaker 1 He had to give a best man speech that I wrote.

Speaker 1 Without the luxury of being the best man, even. But yes, I had to give a best man speech, and he wrote it, and it was oddly full of insults toward myself.
I wish we had that.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry, but this is now reminding me: you guys have been on the show together a few times. Yes, my friend Greg.
Uh, has been you, I've got to know you through this show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're friends, we love each other, yeah, we like each other, right? Yeah, of course, yeah, remarkable how anyone could like Greg Mallet the Grizz.

Speaker 1 Come on, man, he's the grizz. I've only met him a couple of times here at the show, but the dude's a fucking blast.
He's a fucking water polo champion.

Speaker 1 Nobody beats the grizzly, nobody beats the grizz. You know, that's the t-shirt.
I'm sorry, but that is true. You know, he is a water polo inspector.

Speaker 1 Inspector.

Speaker 1 Wait, did you

Speaker 1 get a promotion? Yeah, so

Speaker 1 is that a department of the British police?

Speaker 1 It's under the aegis of the crown. Oh, is it the Ministry of Water Polo? That's right.
Wow. Are you looking at the new minister,

Speaker 1 His Majesty's new Minister of Water Polo? Wow. Congratulations, Grant.
So are you in charge of water polo or inspecting water polo-based crimes? Yeah, like NCIS.

Speaker 1 Both. I'll look around a water polo pitch and I'll say, look ship-shaped to me.
Okay. And then somebody says, So play on.
There's been a murder.

Speaker 1 We suspect water polo foul play.

Speaker 1 Buy waterfowl?

Speaker 1 Sometimes. Sometimes.
Then I have to consult my old mate, Shesley Sully Sullenberger. Oh, wait, you don't, you know, Sully.
Sully, of course I do. Hero of the ups and he is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So if you have some sort of goose-related problem, indeed. indeed, he got you.
How often is it a goose-related problem? Four out of five. Yeah, I would think so.
So you've got his name.

Speaker 1 Wily creatures. Geese hate people.

Speaker 1 We were

Speaker 1 talking about Sully on a recent episode about how

Speaker 1 what people don't know about that miracle on the Hudson is every single people, every single person. Every single people.

Speaker 1 Every single person, every single soul that he saved had to get one of their limbs amputated. If not both.
Yeah. Why?

Speaker 1 It was so cold that they lost their feet in the frostbite, didn't they? So cold in the Hudson, yes, but you'd rather be them than the geese, I dare say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 In any case, I'm so sorry

Speaker 1 I didn't remember, honestly, that there was some drama between you two guys.

Speaker 1 In the article, by the way, about your wedding, Grizz, you are mentioned as, not in this article, as an inspector or instructor of water polo, but as a lifestyle coach. What is that?

Speaker 1 You don't know what it is. Whether Lucilla are in need of a lifestyle coach.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would be great. Would you take on Byron as a client? Of course I would.
Really? I'll be glad to. What would you do for me? I think my lifestyle is wonderful.

Speaker 1 Can I talk to you for a second, Brad?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jason and I want to talk to you. Hold on, Greg.
I'll be right with you. I'll just be over here in this puddle.
Okay, Byron. Yes.
Here's an opportunity for you. What sort of an opportunity is it?

Speaker 1 Hire him as your lifestyle coach. Yes, he is.
And then he'll teach you about his lifestyle, and you can just take his place

Speaker 1 once he gives you all of the secrets.

Speaker 1 And I can call Rick Baker, and I can make myself look like well now hang on hang on this did not go well though I don't know that that's the answer I mean you're gonna start as a rib and then an eight and then well who else is gonna be

Speaker 1 who else does this work because I should look like the Gliz shouldn't I honestly Rick Baker is the only pull I have so I don't know who else does it

Speaker 1 sorry oh just passing by I'm Greg Nicotero I was just oh Greg yes from the walk

Speaker 1 not you Greg not you Greg well I well I heard people talking about special effects makeup and I thought yes yes yes. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I didn't think about you, Greg.
Incredible.

Speaker 1 Greg Nicotera from The Walking Dead, from countless other incredible productions with whole name. Not much we can name

Speaker 1 this dimension. Yeah.
Greg, may I ask you, did you see the gentleman sitting next to Andrew Lloyd Weber at the coronation of the Queen? Yeah, that was you, right?

Speaker 1 Isn't that amazing?

Speaker 1 Give me your critique of that makeup work. Well, it sort of looked like to me that you were trying to let people know you were wearing a disguise.
See, I wasn't at all.

Speaker 1 It wasn't, it didn't look very natural. It looked so cartoonish, and it just seemed like, well, no actual human being looks like that.
Wow. You know, it was almost a Tony Clifton.

Speaker 1 What would you have done differently?

Speaker 1 No, but that was a real person. Tony Clifton was a real person.
Oh, yeah, that's true. What would you have done differently, though? He's still around.
I guess that's true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have done a shorter wig. I would have done a more human-scaled scale.
It was like a mustache, wasn't it? Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like a Dutch boy.

Speaker 1 I would have done a more human-scaled mustache and probably,

Speaker 1 you know, glasses that you can wear at night, you know, like see-through glasses as opposed to those

Speaker 1 tinted frames. I feel like you wore tinted glasses.
Look like they're there to hide sort of the pole job on the eyes. Really look like Tony Clifton.
You really did. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tony's the powder blue tuxedo.

Speaker 1 That didn't help.

Speaker 1 Doing. those jokes.
My only concern, I'll be honest,

Speaker 1 for you, Greg,

Speaker 1 would be in transforming Byron into,

Speaker 1 and again, I don't think The Grizz is listing, The Grizz. Yeah, no, he's in the

Speaker 1 splash on tight the box. Okay, oh, nice.
The Grizz is in the pool. Oh, hey, hot dog.
I forgot you were here. That's a real good song.

Speaker 1 Oh, Splish Slash, you were taking that. That's a shot.
That's from the 50s, yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, a reggae version of that song would be pretty dope.

Speaker 1 Splish splash.

Speaker 1 Let him keep working it out.

Speaker 1 We'll just be in the corner, too. Okay.

Speaker 1 My only concern would be that he would look too maybe like a zombie. Like a zombie.
Yeah, you're not really a zombie word.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is true that

Speaker 1 it's hard for me to break out of the zombie habit. And,

Speaker 1 you know, I did a photo shoot recently for

Speaker 1 a friend of mine, and I unfortunately made her look like a zombie. And it was not a zombie.
It was like

Speaker 1 a shoot. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you know, if I, all right, let's plan this out because if I, if I learn the Grizz's lifestyle to the degree that I am the Grizz to my bones, and then I'm made up to look like the Grizz, but a zombie version of him, that might redound to my benefit.

Speaker 1 If Lady Amelia Spencer believes that the Grizz is now half dead. Yes.
Or sort of under death. You're going to have to stage at the point where you get rid of the Grizz and introduce yourself.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to stage some sort of event that leads people to believe he is dead or not. You're going to need a lot of

Speaker 1 zombie. A lot of background artists, maybe the Scrooge Gang gets part, you know, is part of this.

Speaker 1 The Scrooge Gang. Oh, yeah, you've heard of the Scrooge gang.
The Scrooge Gang. Yeah, this is a famous, famous, a famous gang of

Speaker 1 ne'er-do-wells. Of ne'er-do-wells.

Speaker 1 Their heists are infamous.

Speaker 1 I think this is a good idea. Everybody knows the Scrooge gang.
I think this is a good idea. I think it's a really good idea.
Yes, yes. So I think it was to have him bitten by someone else in zombies.

Speaker 1 Yes. Or like a rabbit dog or just something that you could

Speaker 1 point to and be like, oh this is now happening right can you can you do an impression of his voice and i here's why i asked because first i would i would uh you know as i'm applying the makeup i would i would have you be in a room and just keep calling out from the room to to the woman that you want to marry later yes yes yes saying like don't come in here um i'm fine don't worry about it uh

Speaker 1 maybe we should hear if you can do a grizz impression all right let me try well well well as i live and breathe. Is that all right? Not

Speaker 1 it's a little more hoarse than he is or a little deeper, but that's like dead on in cadence and everything. Yeah, especially if you're doing someone who's sick, you know, saying like, don't.

Speaker 1 That is actually, I take it back. That's a perfect zombie joke.
Try, don't come in here. I'm sick.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Don't come in here. I'm sick.
Wow. Is that all right? It's pretty good.

Speaker 1 That actually is very, shockingly very good. Do you do impressions? Do you do anyone else? I do lots of impressions.
Who else do you do?

Speaker 1 Do you do? I do a pretty mean Fred Guinness.

Speaker 1 I don't know if Fred does a pretty mean Fred.

Speaker 1 I don't think this is the day to find out.

Speaker 1 What about Bill Paxton? Do you do Bill Paxton? Naturally. Here, let's hear some of that.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's me, Bill Paxton. You're listening to K-Rock.

Speaker 1 Bill Paxton. And Byron Dennison knows all all about K-Rock.
Yeah. Only when I'm channeling Mr.
Paxton. That was really good.
That does sound like it. Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 Nick, is it Nick?

Speaker 1 What's your name? Greg. Greg Nicoteri.
Greg Nicoteri. It's Italian for cigarettes.
Is it really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. Do you come from a big cigarettes family? Oh, yeah.
Oh, really? Big cigarettes family.

Speaker 1 Were you making them? Not them or you just smoke them. Not those small French ones.
My family. Big, big cigarettes.
Big cigarettes. My family makes them, smokes them.

Speaker 1 They used to make the candy cigarettes

Speaker 1 before cancel culture set in. They can't make any candy cigarette.

Speaker 1 Oh, Fred Guinness would tell you all about it. They can't put the guy with the millions of cigarettes in his mouth in the bleeding wall.
That's right. No, there was a lot of stuff

Speaker 1 going on with Fred Guinness, by the way, recently about the oldest dog.

Speaker 1 I wish I had. Oh, I heard about that.
Maybe I should call him up. Sure.
Okay, here. Let me

Speaker 1 stop saying people.

Speaker 1 I'm really, I'm compelled to do it. Okay, it's ringing.

Speaker 3 You got Fred. That's what I said.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, Fred. Right, said Fred.
Got it.

Speaker 1 Hey, guess who else is here? Hot dog. Hot dog.

Speaker 1 How's it going, HT?

Speaker 1 Byron Denniston still here. Hi, Byron.
I'm still here. Do you want to hear my impression of you? Oh, okay.
Here it is.

Speaker 3 Is this what I thought like?

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know. That one's not as good.

Speaker 1 I don't like blue. Really?

Speaker 1 What's weird is you hit the phone filter. It was crazy.
It's very hard to do it to someone.

Speaker 3 For all I know, that could be a perfect impression.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. All right.
We also have Greg Nicotero is here. Hi.
Hi. Hi, Fred.
All right. Greg cigarettes.

Speaker 1 Greg cigarettes. And my other friend, Greg, is in the is still in the corner.

Speaker 1 I wanted to ask you about the recent news about the oldest dog. There's a lot of controversy.
What is going on?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Bobby was

Speaker 3 the oldest dog, but then it turns out he might not have been that old. He just looked like shit.

Speaker 1 that's the excuse i give by the way about myself

Speaker 3 yes his owner was sort of embarrassed by him and so he said

Speaker 1 the oldest dog

Speaker 1 broink chickink that should be that should be a regular

Speaker 3 Yeah, the guy was embarrassed because they would say, oh, your dog. And he would say, hey, don't be mean.
He's very old.

Speaker 1 And then it just snowballed. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you tell a lie and then you know, you got to keep building on it. So, are you rescinding the award? What's what exactly? I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 Frank cares. You used to care about this stuff so much.

Speaker 1 It's a dog.

Speaker 3 I mean, is there another dog that's going to be upset?

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 This dog doesn't even know he has the record.

Speaker 3 This dog doesn't know he has the record, and he's dead.

Speaker 1 True, true.

Speaker 3 You know, who was the previous uh oldest dog?

Speaker 1 Who was that? Bluey. Bluey.

Speaker 1 There was a real bluey.

Speaker 1 Oh, reggae, the bluey thing.

Speaker 1 Respect my neck, Bluey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Bluey, the Australian dog, was the oldest dog. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gosh. Well, see you later.

Speaker 1 Click Bang.

Speaker 1 It's wonderful that he's

Speaker 1 available at all times.

Speaker 1 Well, he has nothing else to do.

Speaker 1 I don't think he has a lot of friends.

Speaker 1 But Greg. Also, it's very late in Ireland.

Speaker 1 It must be the middle of the night for me. Well, it's five o'clock somewhere.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's five o'clock right here, actually. We're taping this at 5 p.m.
Right.

Speaker 1 So, is this a plan? Do you want to be lifestyle coached by the Grizz? I think it's a perfect plan. It's really the only reason

Speaker 1 with Greg Nicotero's help, you can then segue into getting rid of the Grizz, taking his place, and boom,

Speaker 1 you're Lady Amelia's husband. And just like you always wanted.
I just have to figure out how to break it to Rick Baker.

Speaker 1 But yes, if she can't can't love you, the Grizz, as a zombie, then she's not worth being with anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you don't stop loving someone just because they become a zombie, that's a very good point. That's beautiful.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, so let's take a break.
When we come back, I'll get the Grizz from out of the corner, Greg. And Greg, can you stay with me?

Speaker 1 That's Grizz in the corner. That's right.
Greg Nicotero, can you stick around? Yeah, that's me and the Spotlight. Okay, great.
And

Speaker 1 Byron, of course, you're using that particular year. And then what about you, Hot Dog? Are you sticking around? Trying to keep up with you.

Speaker 1 And of course, Jason will be here.

Speaker 1 All of these people will be back. We'll be right back with the 850th episode of Comedy Bang Bang right after this.
You never hung up.

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Speaker 1 Experien.

Speaker 1 Comedy bang bang, we're back. Jason Mandugas is here.
Obviously, how did this get made?

Speaker 1 Celebrating its, what, 14th year probably? Yeah, we're in year 14 now, which seems insane. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And obviously. We're going to the UK for a tour.
I heard what are the, oh, we'll talk about that. Yeah, obviously.

Speaker 1 And we also have a hot dog is here.

Speaker 1 Yep. I don't want to say the distributor anymore.
I understand.

Speaker 1 Hot dog.

Speaker 1 Are you losing passion for saying

Speaker 1 just the deadest of eyes while delivering that? Just absolutely soulless. That's the saddest thing I ever heard.

Speaker 1 Hot dog. Well, I'm losing hope that I'll ever get that $10 million together and become Sean Manny.
You haven't even started to raise it yet, right?

Speaker 1 I just, I saw the Kickstarter or the GoFundMe.

Speaker 1 It just got put up. You already have a dollar.
Make that money off of the back of Janana.

Speaker 1 Okay. Make that money.
Then

Speaker 1 I think you've lost the passion for all things, Shanana. No, not really.
I'll get it. But once I see those dollars start to tick up people, otherwise my heart will break and I won't be able to go on.

Speaker 1 You've already got one dollar. If you just, for the next 10 million days, if you get a dollar a day, you're all set.
How many years is is 10 million days? Oh,

Speaker 1 three? I forgot it. Somewhere around there.
Four? You know who else should be in John Ana, by the way? I have another friend who is in a band, who was kicked out of a band. Oh.

Speaker 1 My friend Cal was in the Sugar Hill gang. Oh.
And yeah, he would be a great addition to Johanna, yeah. To John Ahna, the reggae Shana Na band.
Yeah, that does Nana Nana, Nana Nana, hey, hey, goodbye.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Yeah, he can do a rap in it.
Fucking roll number one. That's what it's called.
Yeah. Oh, right.
He could do a rap in the middle middle of it, probably. He's a good rapper.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was an original member of the Sugar Hill gang. Wow.

Speaker 1 Can we get him here?

Speaker 1 Can you say do, do, do, do, wow? Dip, do, do, dip, wow.

Speaker 1 See, it's back.

Speaker 1 Just be mentioning Cal Solid.

Speaker 1 Where am I?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 did that make him appear? What happened? I was just. Holy shit.
Cal, what were you doing just now? I hope you weren't thriving. I was washing a mug in a fake.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, that mugging's gone. It's probably broken at this point.
Uh-oh. So sorry.
It was my favorite.

Speaker 1 What was on it?

Speaker 1 Me. Oh, I got it done at the ball.
Oh, that's cool. That's so cool.
We'll get you another one. Please give them a thumbs up.
Oh, very cool.

Speaker 1 Really cool. Is it dishwasher saved? Sorry, go ahead.
What were you going to say?

Speaker 1 You know what? I think

Speaker 1 the important question. It might be, but I hand wash it just in case.
That's smart. This is my friend Hot Dog.
Hi, Hot Dog.

Speaker 1 And my other friend, Byron. Hey, hey, hey, I'm here as well.
Hi, Byron. Greg Nicotero.
Hi, Greg.

Speaker 1 And my other friend Greg is in the corner. Hi, Greg.
Corner, Greg. And

Speaker 1 we had a question for you.

Speaker 1 You've been practicing your rapping, obviously. Every day.
How's it been going? Not good. Yeah, I figured.
I practice for several hours every day. Wow.
And I'm

Speaker 1 practicing all elements, writing the actual rapping and flow delivery. You don't like to write your raps.
I didn't think about writing them.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. I've just been

Speaker 1 just freestyle.

Speaker 1 Whatever that means. Well, it's what that's

Speaker 1 what the Sugar Hill gang did at the barbecue you were at. Yeah, I thought that's how it worked.
You just made it up as you go along. Right.
When I say barbecue, you were at, you were hosting.

Speaker 1 Explain. You hosted a barbecue,

Speaker 1 and the Sugar Hill gang paid the barbecue. Well, they didn't like the cooking so much that they started rapping about it.
Oh, I see.

Speaker 1 I came to realize much later that the seminal hit, Rapper's Delight, was a diss track about my barbecue. Oh, no.
Because it starts, what are the lyrics when it starts?

Speaker 1 Have you ever been over a friend's house to eat, and the food just ain't no good?

Speaker 1 And we figured out that this was about Cal because he was hosting the barbecue. Yeah.
And they were just doing this off the top of their head.

Speaker 1 And Cal thought that he was a member of the Sugar Hill gang. Because I was there when they were doing it.
But they were, in fact, just roasting him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then when he said, hey, when are we getting together to practice our raps? Well, I showed up to the studio. Oh, man.
I got to tell you, this really gets me in the heart. It gets me where I live.

Speaker 1 Right. I've had this.
This is very hot doggy. Well, I tried to be in Shauna Na for a long time.
Oh, wow. And they had me audition over 50 times and always found some kind of fault with my audition.

Speaker 1 What was the fault usually? Yeah, what would they say? It was stuff like,

Speaker 1 you're terrible. You can't sing.

Speaker 1 You would bring nothing to the group. Oh, that's direct.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, listen, I give them credit for that.
They didn't beat around the bush. And then remind me, what was Nasha Shah?

Speaker 1 Nasha Sha was a group that I created one time when I gave hope on getting into Sean.

Speaker 1 But that is defunct.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Nasha Shah turned out to be just nothing but fights.

Speaker 1 Those guys, I don't talk to those guys anymore. Like if I went to their website, it would just be no upcoming shows.
At Nasha Shah? Yeah. Yeah, no upcoming shows.

Speaker 1 So I was very on a parallel track with Sean on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, with the websites with no upcoming shows.
No upcoming shows for Sean on.

Speaker 1 Bowser is still doing great. He's out there doing doing that.
John Bowser Bauman? John Bowser Bauman. Oh, I loved him on Match Game.
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 He was the host of Match Game, and then he was center square or something during the square. That's Hollywood Squares.
Well, they did the Match Game Hollywood Squares Hour that he was part of both.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was a weird period. Yeah.
Like a half hour in, they would switch, like suddenly the squares would rise up from the ashes of match games.

Speaker 1 Literally,

Speaker 1 yeah, it was like the risers would rise up and become like a

Speaker 1 three by three squares thing.

Speaker 1 This episode is exclusively for people in their 50s.

Speaker 1 Every reference is from the 70s. Even older, quite honestly.
Hey, you guys want to talk about Hello Larry?

Speaker 1 But the reason. I got some room for love, Sydney.
Sure.

Speaker 1 The reason I guess we summoned you, Cal, is because Hot Dog has an exciting new project going on. Oh, really? And we're wondering if maybe you want to add your talents to it.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's which ones uh the the rapping mainly the musical talents oh but okay well we got to eat too because it's a new get ready cal it's a new band well i'm not much of a coke

Speaker 1 i don't know if you heard this which are you worse at because no one's made a diss track about your rapping that's true so you're probably better rappers i guess so by default you've had a few years to work on those barbecue skills i let them fat i let them fat atrophy i guess

Speaker 1 in pursuit of my rap dreams after that bad feedback oh yeah well i guess i got kind of gun gun shy getting back in the kitchen. I get it.
But yeah, this is a band for you.

Speaker 1 You're perfect for it because it really is. It's going to be a band made up of people who could not get in or stay in the band that they wanted to be in.
That sounds like a perfect fit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we're going to do reggae versions of classic American rock and roll songs. And

Speaker 1 this one

Speaker 1 about Gary Glitter.

Speaker 1 Gary Glitter not involves Gary Glitter.

Speaker 1 He's not? No, no. You sure? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Who did the song originally? Oh, he did that. No, no, no, no, goodbye.
That's Gary Glitter.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. It is.
Isn't it? No.

Speaker 1 No, you're thinking of

Speaker 1 Gary Glitter. Rock and roll.
That's awesome. Nah, nah, hey, hey, kiss him goodbye.

Speaker 1 This was a 1969 stream was the original artist. Stream.
Wait, will you play it?

Speaker 1 I mean, I could try. Can you stream it? I'm curious.
Is that the one we're thinking of, or is that a

Speaker 1 one who originally mentioned Gary Glitter in this podcast? I was okay, thank goodness.

Speaker 1 We are cutting that out, I'm sure. Because we never get our editing budget back.

Speaker 1 And if you don't know why we'd rather not talk about Gary Glitter, Google it.

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Google Glitter.

Speaker 1 Don't Google it. He got in trouble for that, I think.
Don't Google.

Speaker 1 In Google Gary Glitter, it's called a Google.

Speaker 1 But in any case, so this is going to be made up entirely of people who have not gotten into the band that they wanted to get into. It's like that movie, The Expendables.
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's what it is. Expendable rock and rollers, man.
Yes. What a great idea.
A super team of people nobody wants. Yeah.
We're talking to Sammy Hagar.

Speaker 1 He got kicked out of Van Halen for his poor work ethic.

Speaker 1 Was that one? That's why. Well, I mean, he has a new group with Michael Anthony, also kicked out of Van Halen.
It's called The Circle. Really? That's right.
Yeah. What about Gary Shiron? My Shirona?

Speaker 1 No, from the other Van Halen lead singer after Sammy Halen. Van Halen 3.
Yeah, free. From

Speaker 1 Extreme, thank you. More than one.
Sure, he's more than welcome to join the band. Sure.
Some words. Do we need an audition at all?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Wait, I wasn't saying you need to audition for him. Oh, okay.
I'm saying I don't want to audition for this band that I'm putting together.

Speaker 1 Hot Dog seems genuinely miserable to be here.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry to even have to. I feel like Hot Dog would rather Byron Dennis than be getting the attention.
Yeah, Byron, you're very quiet, by the way. No, no, I think he's doing watch with me.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, think about it. I am summoned out of a clear blue sky.
Do you wait? You're just in the middle of the sky when I summon you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What? You don't. I'm looking down on Earth.
What? Wow. We have not talked about this at all.
You never asked where I was. You want to know all about his mug washing?

Speaker 1 You never asked where I was when you summoned me. So true.
We are up in the heavens. We say what's up, Hot Dog.
You arrive, and we never ask you where you just were.

Speaker 1 Well, if you guys would ever do me the favor of unsummoning me, what would happen is I just convert into mist and I float around in the atmosphere.

Speaker 1 And then when you summon me, I become corporate again, and I'm a hot dog. Well, whoa, so you are almost like a spirit or a poltergeist in some ways.

Speaker 1 I am definitely mist.

Speaker 1 I'm like evaporated water. I am.
Hey, did somebody say a poltergeist? Oh, this is Whoa.

Speaker 1 I thought I heard a Poltergeist mention. Oh, this is the Father.

Speaker 1 Oh, Padre David Bay Invenuto. Oh, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Do you need a ghost, Busted?

Speaker 1 Is this an ad break? Busted makes me feel good. Are you afraid of ghosts? This seems like an ad break.

Speaker 1 I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

Speaker 1 I think you're going to have a hard time having people go who you're going to call and then your name because it's very ingrained to say who you're going to call Ghostbusters.

Speaker 1 What's your name? Padre Dave de Benvenuto. Can you put that into the song? Who are you going to call? When there's somebody strange in your neighborhood?

Speaker 1 Who are you going to call? Padre David Benvenuto.

Speaker 1 It doesn't really roll off the top of the way Ghostbusters does. But oh, how about this? What if it was to a reggae? What if it had like...

Speaker 1 What if Jean-Ana did Ghostbusters as one of their songs? I think it's a great idea. I mean, at this point, Ghostbusters is older than 50s Rock and Roll was to Sean Ana I themselves.
What?

Speaker 1 What? What do you mean? True.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Sean and I came together in like 1968. And so that was about seven years after the music that they were right.
And so Ghostbusters was 40 years ago this year.

Speaker 1 Wow. That's crazy.
So it's older than the music of the 50s.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's cool. Technically.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you really think about it, when you drill down into it, it's older than 20 years ago. 40 years ago is still older than the 50s.
50s. Wow.

Speaker 1 You guys are broken.

Speaker 1 I know. We just have to explain it to you because you're mostly missed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes me a little while to get it.
You say 40 years ago

Speaker 1 is older than the 50s.

Speaker 1 It's true, though, when you really think about it. The 50s are only 50 years old.

Speaker 1 But the 40s.

Speaker 1 At this point,

Speaker 1 twice that.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Byron. You get it.
I get it.

Speaker 1 I think you guys are possessed.

Speaker 1 What's that? I think you guys is possessed. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't perform it. I'm not going to have to perform an exorcist.

Speaker 1 We didn't summon this guy, but you arrived on a Vespas.

Speaker 1 See,

Speaker 1 I noticed that. And you're not missed before you come here.
I ride the Vespa ever. Yeah.
I ride to other country. Yeah, you're not missed before you come here.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, yeah, when we say that, M-I-S-T, not M-I-S-S-E-D.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know. I'm not missed.
Oh, no. Hot dog.

Speaker 1 Hot dog. Hot dog.
I think

Speaker 1 hot dog might need an exorcism, honestly. I don't know what's going on with it.
Hot dog. What's the matter for you? Why are you looking so sad?

Speaker 1 It's a nice place. It's not so bad.

Speaker 1 Oh, shut up in your face.

Speaker 1 Again, if you're listening to this episode and you weren't born in the early 70s or late 60s, you have no idea what's going on.

Speaker 1 But hot dog,

Speaker 1 excuse me, Cal. I need to talk to Hot Dog.
Yeah, I'm still here. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 And the Grizz. The Grizzlies.

Speaker 1 Who would have thought the Grizz would get so little airtime? Right, Dropski voting up again.

Speaker 1 I think, hot dog, there's something going on with you. And it may benefit you to perform an exorcism on you because I've never seen you like this.
You think I might have a ghost in me? I think so.

Speaker 1 Or what is it? A devil in me? You got a demon. Is a demon in you? Hot dog, you got a demon in you.
Oh, I wouldn't be surprised. You know, some people say, I got that demon in me.
That's you now.

Speaker 1 I've never heard anybody say that, but I believe that I might have a demon. Demon is a big expression in exorcism, sir.

Speaker 1 I got it. I got that demon in you.
When did you start feeling like this? Was this at some sometime around the last time you spoke to Sean on a perhaps? Well, yeah,

Speaker 1 I had a really bad conversation with those guys with Screaming Scott and Donnie. They were real mean to me.
Really mean to me up there.

Speaker 1 Do you say Shanana?

Speaker 1 Do you say Shanana? Yeah. All possessed.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I mean, honestly, Jason, Jason,

Speaker 1 we've suspected this for a while. I'm not surprised by that.
Yeah, I mean, they are trying to bring about hell on earth. And

Speaker 1 Dirty Dan, John Bowser Powell.

Speaker 1 They're all possessed. All possessed by demons.
No.

Speaker 1 I mean, I know that they're in league with the devil and working for the devil, but possessed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's really splendid.

Speaker 1 He finally went all the way.

Speaker 1 So, Padre, do you think that perhaps when he tried to audition for Shanana that he invited this poltergeist or devil inside of him? Almost certainly.

Speaker 1 Well, part of the audition was drawing a pentagram with my blood and then having me jerk off on a parchment. Oh, whoa.

Speaker 1 That is your soul's signature. Oh, what do you mean? That's where they get you.
Oh, no. Oh, I thought it was just a weird case.

Speaker 1 Always have a lawyer look at the contract.

Speaker 1 I have it. Anytime I sign a contract, I have my lawyer cross at the part where I got to jerk off on a parchment.

Speaker 1 I said, just put a line right through that. That's smart.
Just redline it. So what do you suggest we do here?

Speaker 1 Everybody got to pray. Oh, okay.
Whether you believe or not, it does not matter. If you can pray in Latin, the best.
I don't get, Jason, can you pray in Latin?

Speaker 1 Neither can I at all.

Speaker 1 That's too bad. What's your favorite prayer? Hmm.

Speaker 1 I think the only prayer I know is the Lord's Prayer. Oh, that's a good one.
I know God is good, God is great. Oh, I guess I don't know it.

Speaker 1 What's the one where it ends up? God is good, God is great.

Speaker 1 Come on, God. I just can't wait.
Let me eat this food on my plate. What is this? That's the one, yeah.
I know all hell, rock and roll. Who has a couple? Hell, hell, rock and roll.

Speaker 1 Hell, hell, rock and roll. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you pretend that a rock and roll is a god, is a rock and roll a god to you? Absolutely, traditional goddamn. You pray that you pray that no matter what happens, you pray that.

Speaker 1 So, this is like a 12-step program where you don't have to believe in God necessarily as much as something can be done. Whatever God means to you, yeah, I'm not real strict about it.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Oh, that's so interesting. Well, also, the rock gods are there to be worshipped.
Sure, Ronnie James Dio,

Speaker 1 Jimi Hendrix, Dred Zeppelin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Paul Talvis.

Speaker 1 Are you talking about a Dred Zeppelin? Oh, yeah. Oh, I love a Dred Zeppelin.
Of course, you do. You're older.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, do you want to perform this exorcist? Okay, so you say God is God is good, God is great. Okay.
You say the Lord's Prayer. Okay.
You say hell, hell, rock and roll. Okay.

Speaker 1 And I will perform at the same time. You don't have to say this one now if you don't mind.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, yeah.
And

Speaker 1 Greg, you,

Speaker 1 Greg, and Greg. I'm more spiritual than religious.

Speaker 1 Okay, great. Good to know.
All right, here we go. Ready? Should I do anything?

Speaker 1 Greg, do you want to start preparing your zombie makeup for

Speaker 1 that's

Speaker 1 sorry, Cal. Cal, if you want, I mean, I don't know.
Do you want to rap? Father, should Cal rap during a rap? Oh, I don't know if you can rap during this.

Speaker 1 I cannot have the people rap during this. Okay, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, Cal, it sounds like not talking. Everybody pray quietly.

Speaker 1 I could do like God bless you, like when somebody sneezes. Oh, Oh, sure.
That's perfect. In case anybody sneezes.
Okay, just say God bless you over and over again. Okay, here we go.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And three, two, one. What?

Speaker 1 What is the countdown?

Speaker 1 We're all going to pray.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 It never occurred to me to do a countdown. That's good.
Yeah, most prayers. Most begin with a countdown.
I was going to say, in the church, they don't do enough counting down. Three, two, one.

Speaker 1 I count down for my raps. Oh, you do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 First, I get the beat, and then I go three, two, one, rap. And then I rap.
I love it. That's great.
Here we go. It also sets expectations for the listener.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Can we be done talking about the rap? Okay, yes. Here we go.
Three, two, one.

Speaker 1 Hell, hell, rock and roll. Demon, I'm going to tell you right now, you better get out of there.

Speaker 1 You're making me mad, demon.

Speaker 1 I'm getting mad. I'm getting so mad at you.
And

Speaker 1 I call on God to say, get out of there. Oh, here he goes.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, it's working. It's working.
Demon, Demon. Get out of the hot dog.
You better get out of there.

Speaker 1 If it's a hot dog shaped demon. Bring out the girl.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Don DeMello. Been in a hot dog this whole time? I've seen it this demon before.
So have I. Oh, it's you again, Father Benudo, Benuda Deniti.
Don De Bello. Ah! Pizar.

Speaker 1 We meet again. You gotta get out of there.
Leave it a hot dog alone. No, it's good in here.
I like it when he becomes the mist and then I can be everywhere. You got your own body.

Speaker 1 Why don't you stay in there? Have you seen my body?

Speaker 1 Yeah, good point. It's not so good these days.
I do it trying Pilates.

Speaker 1 Oh, good. No, it's not.
It's terrible. I mean, you don't look great.

Speaker 1 I have to admit. Thank you for making my point for me.

Speaker 1 But it's not a compliment. I'm not thanking you for the compliment.
Yeah, I understand.

Speaker 1 Don of the bello, I command you to leave the body of a hot dog. Listen, you're barking up the wrong tree because I myself am possessed by a demon.
But I, what? Yes,

Speaker 1 like a babushka.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, three, two, one.

Speaker 1 Our father

Speaker 1 demon side of down the bellow. Double demon, get out of there.
I done it right now. You better get out of there.

Speaker 1 Get out of there, demon.

Speaker 1 Double demon, get out. It's me, Golly.
Oh, Golly, the original demon. Whoa, how's it going?

Speaker 1 Golly is a demon that a ventriloquist. A ventriloquist

Speaker 1 come to life,

Speaker 1 a paragon of evil. Yeah, oh, my God.
Anichi, this guy, he's above my pay grade.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, no. You can't deal with him? Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. That's right.
I've defeated him again and again. Oh, my God.
I destroy him. I've never seen Father Bienvenuto seeming so scared.
How many of you just met, D?

Speaker 1 Well, I've never seen you so scared since I just met.

Speaker 1 You got me. You've never seen anybody so scared.
Look at him. Oh, my God.
What do we do, guys? What do we do? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Has anyone ever tried saying Gali's name backwards?

Speaker 1 Don't even try it. Can't be done.
Okay, let's try it. It can't be done.

Speaker 1 Elong.

Speaker 1 I'm finally free.

Speaker 1 Has anyone tried saying Don Demello's name backwards? I don't think that can be done. Oli-Med.

Speaker 1 Olimed. Mod.
Oh, my God. I feel fantastic.
Oh, hot. I'm finally free.
We're going to say your name backwards. Okay.

Speaker 1 I can finally leave. Danto.

Speaker 1 He seems to be Golden. Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, Byron. Yes.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wonderful. That was exciting, wasn't it? Thank you, Father.
Oh, my God. Hey, you got it.
This is the best ever gone for me. Yeah, I mean, to be honest, you didn't do a lot.
And now, Vespa. Away.

Speaker 1 He just hopped on the back of his Vesper. That was incredible.
And it just started up.

Speaker 1 He knew when to arrive, exactly what to do, and then boom. He must have a Keyless entry on his...
on his on an app. Keyless entry?

Speaker 1 Well, I don't think he entered that. He must be driving the ventry.
Who's the Keela Sentry? I haven't the faintest. Yeah.
She sounds like a supermodel.

Speaker 1 Cal. Keela Sentry.

Speaker 1 In any case, Cal, do we need to audition Cal? Do we need to wrap this up? Or are you just going to just be in a band? I don't know. Maybe you feel so much better after having this.

Speaker 1 I think you're talking to Hot Dog, but he's gone. Oh, that's right.
He's gone. Hot Dog's gone.
I don't know if John Ana is viable at this point.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Cal. I'm sorry.
We should probably send Cal back to him. Can you say my name backwards? I have to go to the mall and get a new mug.
Yeah, lack.

Speaker 1 that's it he is gone oh the grizz is back well well well it's just the two of us byron yes yes i see that listen uh uh uh grizz i know we've had our differences in the past but i wonder if you would help me with your life coaching lifestyle it's lifestyle yes i'm sorry yes don't coach your life just your lifestyle and and grizz um uh i'm speaking on behalf of byron here uh

Speaker 1 if you don't mind the lifestyle that you're coaching him about could it could it be your lifestyle Well, that's what it is. Oh, great.
That's what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 I'll coach everyone out to live like the Grizz. Oh, wonderful.
How to live like the Grizz.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I would love it if you would take me on as a client. I'd love to learn how to live like the Grizz.
And then, I'm so sorry. Go ahead.
Borrow, nothing would give me more pleasure. Oh, wonderful.

Speaker 1 Thank you. And then, Grizz, this guy, Greg, over here, just wants to do a full body scan of you.
You're Greg, too. Isn't that funny? Yeah.
It's pretty funny.

Speaker 1 Greg, anytime he meets another greg he wants to do a full body scan who wouldn't want to do a full body scan of me that's right the water polo inspector itself proper fit yeah so um he's gonna do a body scan of you he's gonna do some moldings uh some casts you know mic you don't mind if i just get in here do some molding and casts yeah i don't care measurements yeah in seams

Speaker 1 out seams sure everything

Speaker 1 and then how long does this usually take to to figure out how to be like the grizz

Speaker 1 let's see i've coached

Speaker 1 two people so far. Oh, wow.
Which two, if you don't mind me asking? I don't mind you asking. Jeremy Piven.
Oh, does he sing?

Speaker 1 Does he sing? Jeremy Piven. Does he sing Jeremy Piven? I never heard him do it.
Oh, okay. Yeah, because I do sometimes, along with my other friends.
I'll sometimes sing his name. Oh, do you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jeremy Piven,

Speaker 1 Jeremy Piven,

Speaker 1 Jeremy Piven

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And who else was it?

Speaker 1 Wait, was it Jim Gaffigan? Jim Gaffigan. I've noticed he's very Grizz-like.
I have seen that too. Yes.
Well, if I can get half the results of

Speaker 1 Jeremy Piven and Jim Gaffigan, I'd be thrilled. And is the whole point of your lifestyle thing to give out and help people understand that Grizz Riz? Yeah.
Yeah. That's exactly what I call it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Grizz Riz. And when it's done, when the transformation is complete, I say, you have achieved Grizz

Speaker 1 like a robot. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Like a robot. That's so cool.
We met a robot earlier. No.
I was thinking of building a Grizzbot. Oh, you've got to do it.
The true Grizbot? You've got to do it. The true Grizzbot.

Speaker 1 You're not one of the fake Grizzbots

Speaker 1 that's been running around. They're just cardboard boxes, paint you with silver, ain't they? You're not a Grizzbot right now, are you?

Speaker 1 When you know how when Dr. Doom makes a bunch of Doombots, sometimes they don't even know that they're not actually Dr.
Doom. They think they are.

Speaker 1 I don't know about that because I want sex, mate.

Speaker 1 i think robots

Speaker 1 have you gotten into a pool

Speaker 1 recently i mean cylinder what do you mean by that oh oh i see

Speaker 1 somebody was suggesting that pools are essentially sex robots no no no no i mean like we don't want to get a robot do you remember the silence you know they'd be like buy your command and then there was one guy who had like a see-through head and he was like a little uh a little a little fancy lad and then he would he would he would like go buy your command

Speaker 1 why didn't they just put like a bucket of water above the door? So, when the Cylon would walk in, like, they get soaked and just go.

Speaker 1 They never thought of whose day.

Speaker 1 I don't know who they are. The Battlestar Galacticans? Yeah.
Starstar. And Apollo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was the lady's name? Oh,

Speaker 1 I loved her.

Speaker 1 And just to be clear, this conversation is only for the Battlestar Galactica from the 8th. That's really eight.
Oh, I was talking about these. Okay, anyway.
Commander of Dharma. Yes, of course.

Speaker 1 Lauren Green himself.

Speaker 1 From Bonanza. From Bonanza.
I don't know that shit.

Speaker 1 I don't want to mention Bonanza. It's hosted by Dalton Wilcox.
It's going to show up if we mention Bonanza too many times. Right.
If we keep saying Bonanza, you know.

Speaker 1 It's hosted by Dalton Wilcox. Wow.

Speaker 1 That summons me. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Yep. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Nobody's ever tried to say Dalton.

Speaker 1 Slitz in his hand. I've got a schlitch.
And a can of beans? Hell yes. I came by hoping you might have a can opener.
If not, I'll just shoot it to Can Dalton. Um, yeah,

Speaker 1 I let me find one for you. That's fine.
Here, here, here, thank you very much. Yeah, very good.
You're using that on the schlitz. I've used, yeah,

Speaker 1 well, that's also in a can, isn't it? But you don't need to take the entire top of that. No, it's what it's a proper beer can.
You remember those tins where you had a tab? Yeah, yeah, old tab.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the one that 50-year-old men know about where you have to, you had to do two, one on each side. My dad had one of those.
Oh, yeah, yeah. This can is from 40 years ago.
That's older than the 50s?

Speaker 1 Even older.

Speaker 1 You got old slits. Yeah, man.
That's the best. Please start marketing that.
Yes, old slits. Yes, the good

Speaker 1 new Coke, old slits.

Speaker 1 Properly aged. Dalton, it's great to see you.
It's great to be here. What you boys up to tonight? Julia is chilling here with Byron over here.
Hey, all right, Grizz. Have you ever met the Grizz?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 This is a water polo inspector. A water polo inspector.
Enchanted.

Speaker 1 Nice to meet you. I will say, Dalton, now that you're here,

Speaker 1 and I guess some of them have gone away, but they're for sure have been monsters.

Speaker 1 Well, there's a guy who,

Speaker 1 I mean, Greg over here.

Speaker 1 Don't listen to this, Grizz.

Speaker 1 Greg makes zombie makeup. Oh, yeah, but that's just fake.
I mean, Golly was here, and Golly is a true agent of demonic chaos. Yeah.
Oh, was here, though. Well, yeah, yeah.
No, we backed up.

Speaker 1 I guess they heard us coming, and they said, fuck, I don't want anything to do with that.

Speaker 1 Probably. And we said his name backwards.
Got real scared scared and stuff like that. But you said his name backwards? Yeah.
Yeah, we're applying Mr. McSixaplex rules to everybody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, networks on Mixixaplex. Yeah, can't even say it.
I think it's Mixelplex. I always said Mitzelplex.
Yeah. Missileplex is

Speaker 1 Mitzelplex. Yeah, it could be.

Speaker 1 I always say nerds. Not a mixel, but

Speaker 1 hey,

Speaker 1 nerd. Come on, man.
Goddamn nerds. Come on, man.
That's what you sons of bitches are. Okay,

Speaker 1 we don't come in to be a silver.

Speaker 1 We got to stay talking Wilcox backwards. How do we say it?

Speaker 1 Ex oc

Speaker 1 ill.

Speaker 1 I can't. Honestly, I'm leaving it.

Speaker 1 Great to see you. So long.
He must have Keyless entry on that horse.

Speaker 1 Do you drive Akela Sentry? No, he seems riding away on a horse. Who's Akela Sentry? Who's Keila Sentry? Keyless Sentry.

Speaker 1 Well, look, have we wrapped up everything? You're going to take him on as a client, so maybe next time we see you,

Speaker 1 we'll hear exactly how that all works. Or we'll have forgotten.
Yep. Very likely.
Very likely. Anything else we need to wrap up, Byron?

Speaker 1 No, we never really did get into what's going on with the royalty. What is happening? What is happening? When you're in the hospital, having medicine.

Speaker 1 King Charles, rather, he went to the hospital. What's happening there? Yes, yes.
Well, it's late in the podcast to get into it really.

Speaker 1 They're having aliens implanted under their skin. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 It's a long-term arrangement made with

Speaker 1 beings from another planet.

Speaker 1 Yes, but Charles is having one put in his ass. It could be anywhere.
That's where he's chosen. He's chosen.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Right up the old Aris. Yeah, that's right.
And Catherine is having one put in her abdomen because she's just one of those ladies who likes the feeling of being pregnant.

Speaker 1 So it's, yeah, she's going to have that.

Speaker 1 One of those ladies. Yes, one of those.
Sarah Ferguson is having one put in her nose. And away we go.
Wow, okay. So are you trying to get in on this?

Speaker 1 I'm taking a wait and see approach. Are they going to let Prince Andrew get in on this? Oh, no, absolutely.
No, absolutely. Okay, no, they're absolutely not.
And what is the point of this?

Speaker 1 Why are they doing this?

Speaker 1 It's really, really for the benefit of the aliens, you know. This is sort of a gestational arrangement.
I see. Is this some sort of

Speaker 1 the aliens want to take over the world and

Speaker 1 the English, King Charles has sort of acceded to their requests in anticipation? It's a world swap. I see.

Speaker 1 So the royals will then go to the airplane. So it's kind of like a life swap, but

Speaker 1 for entire world

Speaker 1 move that

Speaker 1 bus,

Speaker 1 and then a gigantic bus is moved. And you see the new planet.

Speaker 1 So, royals and their guests will move to this other planet. So, everyone gets to be just as our planet is being sort of subsumed by the

Speaker 1 so we're still trying to get off this planet. That's the whole royal thing.
That's the new thing. That's the new version of the before that the spaceship was going to come.

Speaker 1 Yes, and take everyone out of the way.

Speaker 1 Chris, are you doing this? Because you're a royal, of course. I am.
Yeah, when's your operation? Uh, I've got a schedule for. Let's see.
I've got.

Speaker 1 I do have to do a colonoscopy.

Speaker 1 It's early for me. Oh, okay.
I'm in my 30s, as you know. Yeah, of course you are.
So you don't understand any of these references.

Speaker 1 Dred Zeppelin, do you have any idea?

Speaker 1 Okay, T, yeah. Do you even remember After MASH?

Speaker 1 What's MASH?

Speaker 1 Trapper John M.D., Quincy?

Speaker 1 The punk episode of Quincy? What are you saying? The Rockford Files. You sound balmy.
Yeah, sorry. Anyway, so you have a call.
Jake and the Fat Man?

Speaker 1 Riptide. Oh, these bait seals.
Oh, the screaming meme on Riptide? Yeah, any of this?

Speaker 1 Also a robot on that one.

Speaker 1 Here's my question. Is

Speaker 1 Lord Andrew Lloyd Rebber here still? No, he left, I believe. Yeah.
I was just going to say. Yeah, I've forgotten me photos.

Speaker 1 Lloyd Weber.

Speaker 1 So great. I was just going to say, forgive me, you were not here for it, and I thought perhaps you were.
We were just having such an interesting conversation about

Speaker 1 aliens taking over the monarchy and

Speaker 1 the Royals League. You know about this.
What a great

Speaker 1 subject this would be for a musical. Byron, what? What are you doing? What do you mean, Bob? Why are you telling them the secret plans? Oh, it's so late in the podcast.
I figured no one was too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he told us about this. This is what's happening with King Charles and all that.
Yes, it's true. Are you doing this too? Are you a plus one? Are you writing songs for it? Yes, I am.

Speaker 1 For the aliens? Yes. Oh, songs for the aliens.
Do they have a different scale? I mean, I'm so curious. That would be a very that would be something different musical scale.
Very interesting to see.

Speaker 1 I hope it can be interpreted into their alien language. Yeah, yeah.
It goes like this.

Speaker 1 Hello, little green men.

Speaker 1 Everybody's waiting to see you.

Speaker 1 Everyone knows when you come here, things will be grand.

Speaker 1 Hello, little green men. Everyone wants to be you.

Speaker 1 When you get here, everything

Speaker 1 will be at hand. Talking about the destruction of the earth.

Speaker 1 Talking about the destruction of the planet.

Speaker 1 When we go to the new planet,

Speaker 1 everybody knows that

Speaker 1 gonna be a jammin'.

Speaker 1 We're jammin' on a new planet. Jammin' jammin'.
We're jammin' on the new planet. Everybody's gonna go get there when they do.

Speaker 1 Praise God, we're going to a planet.

Speaker 1 The newest planets out there in outer space.

Speaker 1 Everybody

Speaker 1 get an operation on your face.

Speaker 1 You mention a plug bag, and then maybe we can remix this.

Speaker 1 Plug back.

Speaker 1 Oh, amazing, Lord. Pot damn the money, baby.
That was beautiful. Oh,

Speaker 1 is it Tortelvis? Let's be Tortelvis. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 This is wonderful.

Speaker 1 You guys were talking about Dread Zimmer. We're talking about Torteland.
I see him.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, I thought it was Austin Butler for a second. Yeah.
I get that all the time.

Speaker 1 What is going on? I am sorry, sorry, Grizz. We don't have time to

Speaker 1 explain everything to you. We are actually running out of time, guys.
I'm so sorry. Would that surprise you?

Speaker 1 We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plus.

Speaker 1 Give me those plugs, give me those plugs.

Speaker 1 I know you want the bang bang bump.

Speaker 1 Wow, that was I Know You Want the Bang Bang Bump by Mr. E.
Meats. That was great.
Well, Mr. E.
Meats. E.
Meat.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Guys, what do we plug in? Jason, what do you have to plug here? I will plug how did this get made on tour in the UK, London, Dublin, Belfast, Glasgow.
We're doing it.

Speaker 1 It is late March, early April. I never thought it could get there.
That's incredible. Incredible.
I'm shocked. I'm shocked.
14 years.

Speaker 1 We're in in our 14th year of this podcast. Incredible.
Absurd.

Speaker 1 And then I'll mention the old Star Trek Prodigy now airing on Netflix, which is absolutely fantastic. Its second season is on Netflix as well? Or is that coming? It's coming.

Speaker 1 Depending on where we are right now, it's coming. Or it's already out.
That's it. And you know what? Percy Jackson.
Why not? Yeah, why not? Why not Percy Jackson this day?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Great. Can I plug for the Olympians? No.
No Olympians. Just Percy Jackson.

Speaker 1 Um, Lord Weber, what would you like to plug? Well, when will people be hearing this? This is Valentine's Week, of course. Oh, I love it.
Yes, love, get it, yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 Go to Paulftompkins.com/slash live because his variety show, of which I have been a guest, really,

Speaker 1 is going on tour for the very first time. Oh, wow, incredible! Where to?

Speaker 1 Portland, Seattle, Cleveland,

Speaker 1 Walderborough, Maine,

Speaker 1 all the major markets. Did it say, really? Polar opposite sides.
It's all the major markets. The Pacific Northwest and then the Upper East going to the Americas.

Speaker 1 To the Midwest, it's going to all over the place in America.

Speaker 1 Except for your city. If you're one of the people saying, you're not coming to my city.
It's true. We're not.

Speaker 1 Now, should they remind you via social media that you're not coming to their city and that they're upset about it? I pray you do. Please.
And this is to you personally. Yes.
Not to Paul.

Speaker 1 I've talked to you. Andrew Lloyd Weber.

Speaker 1 Please let me, Andrew Lloyd Weber, know. We would love it if I'm sure, Andrew Lloyd Weber, you have an Instagram account or something.
So I do.

Speaker 1 If everyone just bombards that account with why aren't you coming to Andrewskinskinskins and maybe suggest venues and times

Speaker 1 that you would like Andrew Lloyd Weber. Please don't use the name of the show.
Just say, please come to

Speaker 1 that's wonderful. And people can get this at paulftompkins.com slash live for all the information.
And when does that start? It starts. Well, there's tickets on sale now for everything.
Incredible.

Speaker 1 All right. I just want to say, Dred Zeppelin hadn't been on tour since 2000, but we do maintain a website

Speaker 1 which has a fascinating shop. You just got to check out the shop.
Okay, well, that's

Speaker 1 got to check out that shop. Thank you, Tor Talvis.
You're going to have a lot of questions. Byron, do you want to plug anything?

Speaker 1 Well, I do a podcast called The Royal Roundup, and sometimes it appears on the Andy Daily podcast Patreon, but not often enough, really.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, you want to be on there more. Yes, I really do.
Yes, of course.

Speaker 1 But we do it, yes. And you know, that's with the place to go to get all your royal snooze.
Okay, wonderful. A royal snooze.

Speaker 1 That's why I call that part.

Speaker 1 Well, I look forward to being trained to make everything I do more interesting and wonderful. I can't wait.
The rain in Spain lies mainly in the plane. All right.

Speaker 1 Real Eliza do a lot. I'll take a stab at it.

Speaker 1 The rain in Spain says mainly with the plane. Was that any good? It's very good.
I mean, it's getting better. What are you up to, Barry? What do you mean? He's a rat.
Great. He's not up to anything.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Okay, good.

Speaker 1 I want to plug, look, head over to Comedy Bang Bang World. We have so many great shows over there.
Neighborhood Listen is there. My movie podcast, Scott hasn't seen.

Speaker 1 We also have all the back catalog of this show, Comedy Bang Bang, ad-free, and all the episodes are up.

Speaker 1 So many other shows. College Town,

Speaker 1 K-Randy, which I think is very funny. So many great shows.
Head over there. But then we also have, we announced this a couple of weeks ago, Comedy Bang Bang action figures.
That's right.

Speaker 1 This February.

Speaker 1 The first two figures here are Scott Ackerman, myself, and J.W. Stillwater.
J.W. Stillwater has a cloth cape.
These are really cool. We're releasing two at a time.

Speaker 1 So do I.

Speaker 1 Do you have pictures of these? I do. I do.
I actually have a couple right over there. Great.
I want to see it immediately. And so we're releasing two at a time.
The first two are myself and J.W.

Speaker 1 Stillwater, and we have more coming down the line. Head over to shop.figurecollections.com.
You get free shipping with a U.S. address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at actionfigureseller.com.

Speaker 1 All right. I hope that you order those because they are going fast and they are limited.
Here we go. Let's close up the old plug bag.

Speaker 1 What's in there?

Speaker 1 Oops, I did it again. What is it? I played with your

Speaker 1 got a lost tumult.

Speaker 1 Oh, baby,

Speaker 1 oops, I opened up your dirty pop. I played with your dirty pop.
Gotta lost too much game.

Speaker 1 Oh, baby,

Speaker 1 open the plug bag, please.

Speaker 1 Okay, that was oops.

Speaker 1 Oops, I opened up your dirty pop by Randy Smith. Thank you so much.
If you have a plugs theme or remix, head over to cbbworld.com/slash plugs. And guys, I want to thank you so much, Jason.

Speaker 1 Always a pleasure to have you, especially on the hundreds and fifties. What a pleasure.
850. Congrats, Scotty.
Crazy stuff. Thank you so much.
And obviously, Lord Weber, so obviously.

Speaker 1 So good to see you. We didn't even talk about

Speaker 1 what's going on with your theater school. And there's not much to say.
I've started the theater school and it's wonderful. Well, no, there's a lot of recent news items.
It's just wonderful.

Speaker 1 So we should not look up the news items. No, no need to.
Okay. Theater school, wonderful.
Okay. And Grizz, good to see you, obviously.
Nice to see you, mate. And

Speaker 1 thanks for having me. Byron, good luck with your tutelage.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. I'm sure it would go wonderfully.

Speaker 1 Please come back and let us know how it goes.

Speaker 1 Greg Nicotero. Greg Nicotero.

Speaker 1 Hey, listen, look for me online. And if you have any makeup questions, I'm happy to answer them.
Wow. What makeup questions could we possibly have? How do you do makeup? How and how?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, you got to study how to do it. But what is it, essentially? Just boil it down.
You just smear stuff on people's faces. That's what I thought.
I can't wait. I can't wait.
Can't wait.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 do you want to hit us with any last impressions here?

Speaker 1 I used to do a John C. McGinley.
I've done him in a while. John C.
Riley, I did. Yes, that's who I did.
Not John C. McGinley from Scrubs.
Scrub. Joffe Saints.
John Riley.

Speaker 1 Let's see if I can do him anymore. Yeah.
Hey, my middle name is actually Christopher, so it's okay.

Speaker 1 Wonderful. Pretty good, actually.
Pretty good, Byron. Yeah.
Thank you. I haven't dusted him off in quite some time.
I know.

Speaker 1 I feel like there was some issue with it or something like that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. We'll see you next time.
Thanks. Bye.

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