Don't Google Pin Buttock
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Good evening, gentle listeners, all watchers, and welcome to Distractible.
This episode, Byzantine Bob specifically shops exclusive, Ogles Osman gives auto advice and desegrates Bill the Bard.
Wasp-like Wade has wilted wheels and is oblivious to virgins and motherfuckers.
Maleficial Mark looms up for a fragile fiber fixation, but is no bacchanalian nor bottom man.
From sketchy scoring to concluding Christmas celebrations, yes.
It's time for
don't Google Pinbottock.
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome back to Distractible, the last podcast remaining on Earth.
I don't know why.
It just struck me.
You guys both were like zoned out looking at something.
And I was like, now's the time.
Welcome back to Distractible.
My name is Bob.
I am going to be your host because I won the last one and the one before that, some might say.
Some might say I've won a bunch that I deserve to win and then somehow they were taken away from me.
Unjustly.
Can the host even do that?
I don't care.
I don't even know what it would mean at this point of the podcast.
We have an entire system in place to make sure that that doesn't happen.
I challenge that I'm hosting this one.
All heads, I host two in a row.
All tails, I never host again.
Let's flip.
If you've never seen this show, I'm hosting because it's a competition.
I won the last one, so I host this one.
My two co-hosts who are here are competing to win this one.
Whoever wins will host the next one.
As host, I give out points.
I have a book that every time I flip through it, I realize is filled with increasingly concerning, crazy bullshit.
But eventually this will be full of episodes of this show that we make.
I don't know why this one is striking me so much, but there's a score sheet in my book.
Usually I write like a title and there's a score sheet in my book that just says Mark Wade and has a series of X's in a pattern that I don't understand what it means.
Apparently that's how I kept score one time.
I don't know.
That's kind of cool though.
My first one on my old score sheet versus the one I just did on the new score sheet are relatively similar.
Just I think that's both look very chicken scratchy.
It looks like my map for InSpace with Markiplier.
Yeah, I love the lines and the circles that are just like, you know, I ran out of space.
I was like, well, I better write this out.
Oh, I've even gotten gaps.
I don't know if you can see like the gap up here where there's like a really long diagonal to mark the fifth point because I had to split.
I was like, two.
Shit, that's too much thing.
Over here.
Five.
Why do you guys have crazy?
I just, it's a table, name, name.
You go down.
Most of mine look like this.
Most of mine are very like,
but some of them are just like, well, what the fuck happened in that episode?
I don't.
What?
And some of them, look how many fucking points I gave you guys in this.
Holy shit.
What episode is that?
That one's this one.
I even
Bob's secret words.
You guys got so many points.
Anyway, yeah, that's what we do here.
This is the show.
And
Drew Carey said it best when he said, Ohio, Ohio, Ohio, Ohio.
Or was it the other thing about points are made up and they don't matter?
Cincinnati Rocks, right?
I do have a show prepared as is constitutionally required.
But before we get into that bullshit, how are you guys doing?
How's this?
We got any small talks?
How are you doing?
I mean, I blew my story load last episode.
You had so many good stories in the last episode.
No, no, no.
If I remember right, Mark said, ooh, no, I'll save that one for the next one.
Yeah, and then you brought up crows, and that was my other story.
Yeah, and then he said, Oh, I was saving this for the next one, and then he told us about the crows.
No,
I didn't even.
Okay, for those watching and or listening,
I ended the last episode like 20 minutes before we started this recording.
And five minutes ago, it was like, Who won the last one?
And I literally declared that winner like 10 minutes prior.
We took a break.
I went and took a poop.
I came back and Wade couldn't remember.
Yeah.
That's actually happened.
You have memory erasing poops.
That's just how it is.
That's why they hurt so much.
I guess.
I have some tech complaints, but you know, those are always.
I love what Mark moans about technology, and so does everyone on the subreddit universally.
All right.
So I do have a few complaints.
Okay.
I had another fiber line pulled to my renter far, right?
You know,
how basic do I need to break this down?
Line of fiber.
Damn.
Are you asking me or Wade?
Because
if anyone has an objective, because you have to be able to get away with that.
It's a line the internet comes in on and goes out on.
For a lot of people, actually, not as many as there should be.
Most people have a cable, which is still copper cable.
Everyone's internet touches fiber optic at some point.
It just usually there's a junction at some point where it switches from your hard line to your fiber optic.
But yeah.
It's the internet, it's the fast kind.
So you can get your own fiber going between yourself.
You could set up your whole house networking with fiber if you really wanted to.
You could do that, and it would be very fast, efficient networking.
It's just that they're very fragile.
And you hated having money in your bank account.
Yeah, yeah.
And if any rat even touches a wire, they'll crack it in half or they'll nibble on it and shit.
Oh, interrupts gone.
Oh, an actual rat.
I thought you meant like a really shitty person.
Any of you fucking rats touch my wires.
I'm gonna rule you with fear or I'm gonna rule you with love and you're not gonna like that.
So anyway, I started shooting my ceiling.
Fiber.
I had it too because I wanted a redundancy because there's a single connection going to my render farm right now.
And if that breaks, then no one can use it or I have to go in there, but there's no computer set up in there.
It's all remote access, right?
So if that breaks, even I can't use it because I, I, how my computers are, you know, I access it remotely.
Yep.
So I had another fiber line pulled.
And this one I was like, I want 100 gigabit lines.
100 gigabit.
Because I was like,
that's true.
That was cheap to install.
Well, it's actually not that much more.
The most cost is in laying the conduit and pulling it through.
I guess that's fair.
The cable may cost like twice as much per foot or something like that, but still most of the work is in the labor of getting it from A to B.
So they did it.
I had them dig it really nice, and the whole pipe.
And then, you know, it gets all said and done.
And I go to the server closet and I look at the cable and I'm like,
pick up the other cable that they put in, this 10-gigabit one, and I hold them up next to each other.
I'm like, fuck.
It's they pulled two cables through this fucking enormous thing.
And they're not hundred.
anyway.
So, that's the only complaint I have about that.
And this is more of a complaint with a particular company than anything, but it's like, I'll say this thing, I'll say these things, and like the people that you'll come to the house because it's like a house, and they're like, and I'll say, I want a hundred gigabit, and they're like,
Nobody needs 100 gigabits.
That's crazy.
What's he gonna do?
I want a jillion gigabits, this guy.
I want a billion dollars.
Okay, yeah, all right, all right, and so they're like, I'll just pull this fiber, which is perfect.
At this point, you have like three government satellites aimed at your house at all, probably, probably.
I have an unbelievable amount of random bullshit going on here.
And to convince
the bear, yeah, yeah, the bear.
Yeah, the bear could fuck these up real fast.
Anyway, I was just like, God, I just wish people would take me seriously sometimes because I'm saying what I mean.
I am, I don't know everything about everything I'm doing.
But when I say I want 100 gigabit, and they'll say, like, well, you, you need to get really expensive infrastructure to even handle 100 gigabit.
And then I go, I know, go ahead to you, dude.
I have it.
Poor
thing.
Anyway,
that's annoying.
This is not remotely the same, but I do.
I get that, like, salespeople and people in that position, they do with, you know, whatever, a dozen customers a day.
And generally, everyone kind of wants the same thing.
Because if you work for a company that sells shit, you probably sell the same shit to all the people that you sell shit to.
But I have been in that position too, especially with tech stuff, where I'm like, I want this really really specific, different thing.
I don't want the normal thing that you sell every other person.
I have a specific desire.
Give me this.
And the people are always like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then they give you the same shit as everyone else.
And it's like, I know that your job is 98% selling this one fucking thing to people.
But why can't you just listen or read the email?
Yours sounds like a way more expensive thing than mine because it's not like you could just be like, do it again.
i don't think they're just gonna do that but they mine is like i just have to return whatever they gave me and be like no give me the one with the thing that i asked for not this one that i didn't ask for what's annoying well okay there they i had them also lay a thicker pipe because i wanted it to be
yeah yeah but i wanted to put more things through it so it's not like they have to take those out uh to put one other one in but it is more difficult to pull it when there's things already in there like they actually do have a protocol where they like lubricate the interior and they yeah, they do.
Yeah, they
anyway.
So that's that's my latest headache.
It's just like, you know, this has already been an incredibly inspensive project.
And weirdly enough, still cheaper than the alternative was, not in time, but in money.
But holy hell.
God, it's just these little things.
And oh, because it adds up, right?
This is, this is, I can use this,
but I, it, I wanted to transfer at 100 gigabit speed so I can get full speed because my NAS can go faster than that, uh, than 10 gig, which is the usual ceiling.
And I can, I can move data a lot faster if I do.
Anyway, it's just like, it's just like now I have to wait another week to get it to another one in there, and I have to fight with them to be like, you didn't do what I said.
And they're like, you didn't.
I've done writing.
And I'm like,
God.
It sounds fun.
In a week where you were not allowed to sleep for more than a couple hours a day.
That sounds like a really joyous thing to deal with during your waking hours.
That's part of the reason why I didn't catch it is because I was like, oh, they're working out there.
They know what they're doing.
And they did in terms of pulling a cable through.
They did a real good job of the rest of it.
This is
tangentially related, but do you guys watch William Osmond on YouTube?
Yeah.
He's friends with like Michael Reeves.
And he has a tech YouTubers.
Sorry, Wade.
Sorry.
They're tech YouTubers.
Yeah.
Anyway, William has like a farm.
I don't know.
He bought property because
he makes crazy inventions and he gets kicked out of rental properties.
And so they finally got a place that's like out and they have some land.
It's like a farm.
And he was pulling wires so that he could have like, I think it was like power and internet.
He had a conduit.
out to a shed, but he needed to pull the wires.
And he had a friend there helping him do it.
And they got to the end and the wire pulled out of the conduit by like an inch, but it needed to pull out like several feet.
And they had like, they were down to like the tail end on both ends of the conduit.
And they were like,
oh my God, we're like five feet short of wire on this like couple hundred foot run or whatever.
Like, fuck.
And the solution was, I think they were just like, just cut the bottom.
There were one of them was like a power box thing.
And they're like, just cut the bottom off and we'll just put it right on the ground.
And the conduit can, so the wire could just go right into it.
And you only need like an inch of wire.
It's so funny, though, because that's this.
I mean, they're not professionals at that, but it was a whole thing and they had to get lube for it and all this shit.
And they finally, it was like, the wire's coming out.
And they're like,
wait,
feed more wire.
What do you mean there's no more wire?
Wait.
So fucking funny.
Yeah, yeah, that is how it goes.
I imagine that kind of those kind of problems happen even in professional capacities, but they're usually laughing a lot less about it and being like, oh,
yeah.
Right, Wade?
You see a lot of wire-through conduit, Wade?
You know what we're talking about.
No, but I guess I also have a technology gripe.
All right.
All right.
You guys know how we have cars, right?
Oh, it blew up.
Cars?
Yeah.
Go on.
Well, we have a car that doesn't work.
But it's the old one.
Oh, I was hoping.
I got you.
I got you.
It's not either of the new ones.
It's the old, old one.
New one's good.
Old one.
Turns out you might need to drive a car some for it to keep working.
That's generally true.
My nephew came over and wanted to play basketball, and I was like, yeah, let's do it.
But I had the car in the driveway blocking the hoop, so we had to move it.
And I went to turn the car on, and it was.
Oh, that doesn't sound right.
No, it might be good.
If it's a if it's
pointed at me i think that's a good sound it wasn't all right so we went
like a dead battery yeah that's what we thought like okay let's jump the battery jumping the battery didn't work and like the electronic keys and stuff were working the lights on the dash would come on it just would not start
so i don't know if i just still actually need to replace the battery and the jump wasn't working Because the jumper cables he had weren't jumper cables where you hook it up from one battery to the other.
It was one where it was like its own standalone battery that has the 2k bullsy plug on and then it charges but uh it didn't get the car to start so we had to put it in neutral and manually push the car out of the way and stuff but now the old car is
not working and it's like well do i just get a battery and hope that's the fix do i call a tow truck what do you do in that scenario i have some suggestions yeah i know are you yeah yeah yeah my small talk is help what what you really want so it sounds like what you had is a jump pack not a battery charger and what you really want is you don't really need to spend the money on a charging thing, but what you should get is some jump leads where you can connect one car to another.
Okay, well, we've got those like one of the trunks.
Yeah, pull one of your functional cars up next to non-functional car and charge, put connect the turn the one on that turns on, connect the batteries and like let it charge for a solid like 20 minutes, half hour.
Because it sounds like the battery in the old car is probably old on its last legs, maybe needs to be replaced.
But if it it gets a longer term charge as opposed to the jump pack is designed to basically make the starter work and then everything's supposed to jump to life if everything's working correctly do you turn on the car that you are using to charge because 20
is a long time so you'd have to right otherwise you're just dreaming that battery it'll just it'll just kill the battery yeah so yeah leave the car running and just try and like just leave it and you know 15 20 minutes half an hour whatever you could try and start the other one it won't hurt it you don't want to keep doing it but like you can see if that brings it to life.
Because the jump, a lot of those jump packs, the fatal flaw is they have some kind of trigger in them so that when you do try and start the car, if the starter engages, it makes the jump pack turn off because it senses the voltage drop.
And so it's like, oh, it's starting.
And it gives up.
And it's like, well, that.
If it doesn't start, that's not very helpful.
So I think
some of those jump packs do that.
And if your battery is not really healthy, it won't get enough charge to actually like make spark, have ignition, make the car work.
So I would charge it with one of your other cars and see, that'll probably bring it around enough to where you can go and I assume you're going to sell it or give it to someone or something, like get rid of it, right?
Yeah, I want to get it like
if you were keeping it, I would say, yeah, you probably do need a new battery, it sounds like.
But if you're getting rid of it, it's like you might want to tell the person.
the dealer you're selling it to or whatever, like, hey,
needs a battery after you've got the money and you're walking out the door.
That's what I did when I sold my Tesla is, you know, I didn't get the value that I thought I should get out of it.
Uh, and I go in there.
And after I'm, I'm, you know, the after meeting where you're signing all the paperwork, I tell him, like, then I start talking, like, yeah, that piece of shit broke down so many goddamn times.
The door was falling off.
Everything's rusting about.
And literally, look on his face, like,
oh, oh.
So I'm like, you may think you got it over on me, but I transferred a curse to you.
And so
that was the money guy, not the sales guy so he could couldn't do much about it could he yeah no no couldn't do that anyway but they're watching right now holding like a glass of whiskey and just shaking their fist in the shadowed corner of their big mansion with the fireplace going
i don't i don't well so your car was kind of a piece of shit which was not your fault i don't know what people do to cars though because when i i sold my subaru and got the my current car that i have i took it it in to the dealer and I was like, Yeah, I want to sell this one and I'm getting a new car and whatever.
And the guy, they like took it for a test drive.
And the guy came back in and was like,
I saw a really nice car.
And I was like, Yeah, I did what?
I did the schedule maintenance on it and I like clean it and stuff.
Like, what the fuck, kind of Mad Max piece of shit vehicles do you guys take in on trades?
And he was literally like, Are you sure you want to sell it?
It's in perfect condition.
And I was like, I I know.
I made it that way.
I did all that.
People must trade in some real pieces of shit, cars.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I did scratch my truck and I was like, fuck it, it's mine.
So over time, you just.
Yeah, but it's yours.
Yeah.
Like, like, if I had owned that car for like 15 years instead of like a handful of years, it would have definitely had some like scratches or dents on the fenders or whatever.
But, like, I've had a lot of fun.
Yeah, Mark's like your truck that lasted 15 years before it got a scrap.
How many decades have you had your truck, Mark?
Oh,
I can't even remember what a decade is when I'm sold.
Can I also talk about how garages are designed?
You mean the murder spring that lives over our heads in every garage door system?
I forgot.
I've had that go wrong once.
That was terrifying.
The snap.
I was saying it was the spring springs.
That was terrifying.
What are those cords called?
Like the
ones that are real fucking taut.
One of those, there's like usually two of them on the door.
I can't remember what they're called.
What?
What do you have on your door?
Anyway, at their old house, we have one of those snap and like the loudest, scariest noise.
One of what snap?
Some really taut garage door cord.
I don't know.
I've never had what you're speaking about.
What?
I'd have to go.
This is...
Was it was it cords that like lifted the garage up and down?
Was it like related to the mechanism?
I believe, yeah, because the door wouldn't open or close until we replaced them.
There was one on each side of the door.
It was like one of the double-wide garage doors.
I've only ever had garages where there was like the one track that the thing attached to, and it pulls the track on the top.
Yeah, this was the old house, so I can't even go and look at it.
This one, I think, is the single track, but the garage door, the thing, the complaint I have, we have like
a
single car garage door, and uh, it's really tall, but the shit is so narrow that even though I got a car and a not a big car, just a normal or even smaller than usual size looking car.
There is about a one inch to two inch gap on either side for the side mirrors to fit in.
And the sensors on newer cars, I've never, my old car was like a 2015 and prior to that was 97.
I've never had all the sensors and cameras.
I pull this car into the garage and I kind of have to back it in so I can see the everything as I'm going in there.
It's easier to get in and out that way.
Every sensor is going off non-stop as I try to park this thing in the garage because of how narrow the space is where the door is.
I don't think that was a garage.
I think you parked inside a mimic because it doesn't sound like any garage I've ever seen in my life.
It barely fits.
We lived in a place, one of the houses that we lived in in California was like that, but the house was built in like 1964.
And it was an old, it was the original garage door from way the fuck back in night.
It was a one-piece garage door where it like tilted up like an old timey.
it was terrible your house is not that old this house i don't remember exactly what it was built sometime between 2005 and 2010.
it was not that old that's like a 20 year old house is it like is it like where you have your normal garage and then you have a garage that just appeared randomly in my house overnight i don't know where it came from it's a three-car garage there's like a two and a one And the two is perfectly normal.
Tons of space, tons of real estate.
You can golf next to that one.
Was the extra one there when you bought the house?
Are you sure?
Think about it.
Yes,
it's under the house.
Yeah, it was not added on.
It was there.
No, I mean, like, I don't think garages belong under the house.
Yeah, it's if it's a basement garage, I think it's
not a separate garage, it's part of the structure.
I'm trying to say you can tell if it was added on, it was not added on.
You've seen the house, you know, you know what I'm talking about.
I think this might just be an extension of Wade's car curse.
Either my car is like
wad
when you bought the car.
Did a really creepy guy grab your arm awkwardly and go thinner,
and then your garage started getting thinner and thinner over time or something?
I don't know.
Maybe my car is it's got like high-calorie gasoline or something because every time I park, I feel like I've got less space.
But every fucking sensor, I go to back in and like the whole thing lights up red.
It's like, you're hitting everything.
Iceberg, garage, cow, look out.
And it's like, I don't know if there's actually a problem because everything, every sensor is red as I try to park this fucking thing.
I will say,
don't you have a six-series convertible?
Is it a six?
M850i.
It's an 850.
Okay, so it's an eight-series convertible.
That's not a particularly small car.
I don't want to burst your bubble.
Apparently, it's real thick.
It is like a
basically a two-seater convertible.
It's wide.
It's a fat ass.
It has FF.
It's got that.
So when you lock it, the mirrors like fold in.
And I was like, oh, if I could just get those to fold in while it's on.
There's a button for that.
Yeah.
Oh, there's so many buttons on these new cars.
I got to find that button on these new cars.
On the left, on your door thing above where your windows are, there's the, you know how the button that makes you adjust the mirrors?
Next to it, there's a little button that makes them fold in.
100% guarantee.
I need that button.
Because, man, oh man, I am pouring sweat every time I park because I'm like.
Okay, there's a half an inch.
There's maybe two on that side.
It's good enough, right?
Yep, still have mirrors.
All right, we did it, boys.
It's terrifying.
I feel like this is a weight problem.
I know this was set up as like a technology gripe, but this feels somehow like a you problem.
No, the old car was technology gripe, and then this was just a case.
Okay, okay.
And I just want to say, new cars have way less buttons than old ones, and that's also a problem.
The touchscreens kind of suck.
Kind of awful, but yeah.
But also somehow more buttons, but also less.
Is when you go in your garage, the lights start swirling around you and a guy behind you swirling.
We don't know which way the wind is blowing.
And, you know, it's a little Willy Wonka tunnel of death.
Actually, I keep forgetting that our light is off.
It's like dead.
I need to replace it.
So we go into our garage and it's pitch black.
What?
It's cursed.
It's cursed.
That's a curse.
Do you ever go, do you ever go into the garage and then all the exterior doors to your house all close and lock all at once?
And then you hear someone from the other room yell, it's hunting!
It's hunting!
I haven't yet, but now that you mentioned it.
And then you pull out your notebook and you're like, oh, I think it's a gin.
And your breath is fogging as you go in there because it's suddenly so cold, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
That sort of stuff.
I still have to play Phasmo.
Don't you have like 10,000 hours in that?
I don't know.
I mean, look, they just had an update.
A new thing came out recently.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
519 hours.
That's a lot of hours.
Can you sort by most played?
I wonder what my most played game is.
That seems like a thing you could do.
Probably Minecraft in general, but on Steam, I don't know.
This is important enough that we all need to stop what we're doing to do this.
Yeah, I'm literally looking right now.
Sort by no, that's filter.
Sort by playtime.
Oh, how?
Wait, where is it?
I'm doing it on my phone, so I have no idea how to help you guys.
But on my phone, if I look at my library, I can sort by playtime.
My highest played game on Steam is PUBG at 1,278 hours.
Damn.
Counter-Strike 2 at 536 hours.
Do I play a lot of that?
I didn't realize I played that so much.
Maybe you did once upon a time.
I have 112 hours in War Thunder?
Heck.
Damn.
Oh my god.
I have 100 hours in Unturned.
Do you guys remember Unturned?
Oh.
Yeah, actually, I do.
Blocky zombies survival game thing.
How much did you play that?
I have like 100 hours almost.
Wow.
That's a fun game.
It was a fun game.
I didn't put nearly that.
Okay, wait.
It might be in my profile.
So profile.
Is this the episode we're just going to compare our...
Just for now.
I've got 14 hours in Unturned, so I guess I played it more than I thought I did.
It's not 100, but 60, 62 hours in the division, the first one.
Classic, classic.
Oh, New World.
Remember when New World was fun for a minute?
Yeah.
PUBG is 600 hours.
I'm just 80 plus hours.
So I have more time in PUBG than I do Phasmos.
There were multiple years in a row where all I did was go to law school, come home, get on PUBG, and stream for the rest of the day.
So it makes sense that I have so much time in that game, I guess.
lethal companies 320 hours oh that's pretty good i don't think i have nearly that much where are you wait where are you seeing it now wade i'm just picking games out of my library that i remember playing a lot i don't know how to sort it hey i have uh 22 hours in the forest guys gary's mod has to be up there right that was so big for so long i found it i got total playtime okay yeah i have a hundred and 125 hours in gary's mod 446 My most played is Frostpunk with 423 hours played in Frostpunk.
How did you sort it?
You go to your profile.
It's kind of obscure.
You got to go to your profile and then you got to go to your games.
Games, all games, playtime.
Okay.
PUBG, Phasmo, Gary's Mod, Arc, Survival Evolved, and Lost Arc.
So somehow is up there.
Wow.
We played a fair amount of Lost Arc.
I don't know if you remember that.
It was for a short stretch of time, but we played a shitload of Lost Arc for a minute.
395 hours.
Yeah.
My
Daylight, Lethal Company, Monster Hunter, World.
My Lost arc is at I was only at 60 hours, but like that was over the course of like a week and a half.
I got 395.
The last time I played was March of 2023.
Frostbunk with 423.
Oxygen not included with 265.
Team Fortress 2, 254.
Mass Effect 2 with 206.
Amnesia, The Dark Descent with 142.
Then Power Wash Simulator with 129.
Damn.
And then it goes down from there.
I would have thought seven.
I've been playing Seven Days to Die on and Off.
I haven't played since 2021, but I've been playing it since like 2013.
I thought that would be a lot higher.
It's at 155.
I have more time in No Man's Sky at this point than I do Seven Days to Die.
That surprises me.
I think some of these games I've just left on the main menu accidentally.
So there's a few here that I'm like, I haven't even played that one.
I have wow, mine really drops off.
I have like nine games that are over 100 hours and then they drop off really fast.
I have not very much time in a bunch of other games.
Yeah.
I've got three perfect games.
I don't know what that means.
I got all achievements.
Is that what that means?
Damn.
Escape Simulator 2 demo, demonologist, and the planet crafter.
Escape Simulator 2 demo?
Shit.
You completed that?
God.
100% of the demo.
All right.
As riveting as this is, I have something that's possibly very slightly more interesting for us to talk about.
How did we get here from cars?
I have no fucking idea.
All right.
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My episode idea.
I tried to think of a clever way to introduce this, and this will probably snap both of your attentions right back to me because it's a thing we all know and love.
Yes.
Who's ready to talk about Shakespeare?
Oh,
is it finishing how these plays go?
He just the scars never felt a wound, but saw spotlighted one who breaks disease.
And Julie does the sun rise.
First, I killed this moon.
Already can tell the grace is now him and a farmer failing.
That is exactly how we started the other one.
That's true.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow killed a corner of the light of fools and witnesses.
Okay.
We don't know if you're right or wrong.
These are easy questions, guys.
That's not the title of the episode.
That's not the title of the episode.
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
These are they're just actually easy questions.
Stupid Moby Dick.
I have a bunch of creepy questions.
What?
What was the question?
Which one was published first?
Frankenstein or Moby Dick?
Was that the one?
I got it wrong every time.
Anyway, I just literally, I don't know.
I was browsing the internet and I came upon a Shakespeare quote or like one of his famous insults or something.
And I was like, that's pretty funny.
And all I want you guys to do.
This is going to piss off anyone who actually knows anything about Shakespeare, but all I want you guys to do is guess.
I'm going to give you the quote and then you're going to to guess, or you might know, is that quote from a comedy, a tragedy, or a historical play?
Because old
Billy Tremors only wrote three types of them plays.
And if you ignore anything that the scholars have said in recent history or last couple centuries, there's only three types, and there's no other types, and none of them cross over.
And there's no such thing as a tragic comedy.
There's three types.
There's comedy.
a b forget
comedy a tragedy and a historical i just got billy tremors billy yeah
oh william shakespeare billy tremor i get it should have been like bill tremor stick or something but whatever but i get it i get it i get it the old weapon rattler uh only wrote three kinds i wonder how tremors aged those are that was a funny movie those are still those are still good movies okay that's good anyway these are just funny quotes and we can talk about the quotes you can fantasize about what they might mean.
And I'm going to flip a coin.
And for his bald head, I declare that Wade is heads.
The lady is heads.
Wade goes first, which means he wins, probably.
Thank you guys for coming out.
Not because of anything I'm doing, just because of winning is a going first is a slice of advantage.
It is an advantage, yeah.
Mathematically.
Anyway, Wade, quote, virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.
That's the quote.
Okay.
That's the whole quote.
They're short quotes.
All right.
You just have to guess, is that from a comedy, a tragedy, or a historical play about some famous historical figure?
William Shakespeare wrote a lot of plays about British royalty, Henry V, Henry VIII.
Probably the other ones, one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven are in there.
I don't know how many Henrys there really are.
Comedy, Tragedy.
What's the third one?
Historical.
Historical.
Okay.
Virginity breeds
Much like it's much like a cheese.
That's historically accurate, so that's going to be historical.
Wrong.
Mark with a chance to steal.
So the three options were comedy?
Or what's history?
What's what emotion is history?
Yeah, okay, there you go.
Okay.
He'd actually like history, but so he answered history, right?
Could still be.
You could try again if you're feeling lucky.
What breeds mites?
What was this quote again?
Virginity breeds mites.
Okay.
Much like a cheese.
Number one, this doesn't make any sense.
So it couldn't have been historical because history is accurate, right?
History is the truth.
And that is just weird, but it's not weird enough to be funny.
It's a tragedy.
Wrong.
Oh, god you didn't need to you didn't need to slam you like that it was crazy
man you wade you had a one and three mark you had a one and two both of you beat the odds i'll guess and i'll tell you because i know that quote is from act one scene one of all's well that ends well which is a comedy makes me think of who's lying oswald that ends well anyway it's uh it just means that virginity gets stale, Mark.
It's not an insult.
That is historically true, damn it.
It's a commentary on how virginity seems like cheese, seems like a good idea, but it gets old.
You should put it on a sandwich and eat it.
And yeah, you should eat your virginity, ASAP, or it's going to get
stanky.
Yeah, you incels out there.
Come on.
Why do I have a pen?
I don't know.
Because you hosted last time and
my line has been ever since.
Mark goes first.
Mark, is this from a a ha ha ha?
Or a.
You tell me.
I do desire we may be better strangers.
Go on.
No, you don't have to finish it.
It's okay.
It's okay.
You just have to decide if that's funny or not.
We may be better strangers.
Bonus points if you guess the next line, though.
No, you know what?
Yeah, you're on.
That sounds good to me.
If you can guess the next line and I can look it up and confirm it,
bonus points to
Or if you guess the next line and it's so accurate that I just believe you, maybe you can earn some points.
I love that.
Great rule, Wade.
Okay, so it's, I
do, I do desire we may be better strangers.
Better strangers.
So it's like, it's this is a fancy way to say, fuck off.
Yeah, this has got to be.
And the next line is, why can't I quit you?
Well, I'm going to write down a point and I'm going to say that it's not a
Wade.
Any guesses?
God,
it's a funny line, though, so it's got to be ha ha ha comedy.
Yeah, obviously.
I do desire that we be better strangers is what Romeo said to Mercurcio.
And then Mercurcio said, what?
That thou would bite at my sword?
Pretty much.
Is that that one with John Legozamo in it?
The modern Romeo and Juliet?
Never seen it, but yeah.
Sir, do you bite your thumb at me?
I bite my thumb at you.
No, not you, Siri.
No, go away.
Shut up.
Nobody said your name.
I bite myself.
No, that's a comedy.
I break my thumb at you.
That's a quote from Act 3, Scene 2 of, of course,
as you like it.
Everyone's favorite Shakespearean comedy.
I like how I listed a tragedy as the comedy.
Do I list a point for saying that?
I mean, it's a pretty funny tragedy.
It is.
It's very, it's got a lot of moments.
All right, Wade, you go first.
It's kind of like a parody.
Okay, what?
Oh, yeah, you give me stuff.
Good.
Thou art as fat as butter.
That's historical.
Is that your final answer?
Oh, yeah.
That's correct.
That's from
Henry IV.
I knew it.
I knew that was a true statement.
I look at myself in the mirror
was a real Lardo.
And that was mainly what the play was about.
Everyone's just calling him fat.
And if I was looking in the mirror, and I'm like, man, you don't need to be that mean about it.
You should have Henry IV.
Yeah, have some self-esteem, buddy.
Thou art me a butter buns, mind king.
Just the king on stage by himself, just a really quiet introspective scene.
Just like...
Oh, yeah, don't take the quote that's like thou art as fat as butter.
And the following quote was, and thine margarine stores are quite empty these days.
Something about that makes me angry.
I couldn't tell you.
I couldn't put my finger on it.
Something about what you just said makes me want to take points away.
Wait, I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
This is going to be tested.
I don't know.
I've been thinking, I've also been crossing them a little bit.
I don't know what's going on.
All right.
Good sidebar.
We'll be careful.
All right, Bob.
Guys, can you tell I'm running out of ideas?
We're doing Shakespeare quotes here.
I'm really desperate.
If you have any good episode ideas, send them my way.
No, I have a bunch of these, though, and they're really fun, right?
I'm ready.
Mark, you're up first.
Come, thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus with pink eye.
What?
I want to give you a clue.
Plumpy Bacchus is capitalized as if it is a name.
Does that help?
Can you read it again, name?
Plumpy Bacchus.
Plumpy Bacchus.
It's a name in that quote.
Do you read the quote again?
Come, thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus with pink eye.
What's an eye?
You know,
okay.
Of the vine, whatever of the vine.
Monarch of the vine.
It's an old plural form of the word I.
It is equivalent to eyes.
Like these.
Like these?
Yeah.
Like, it is an old archaic plural form of the word I.
That's what I pointed to my eyes.
These?
These art of the
Milk him.
I have milk, Greg.
Can you these me?
Contra, Contra, is it hau, ha,
ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha.
Settling with a
hey, gold blooming.
Somebody help him.
Yeah.
Wait,
what's your actual answer?
Ah, you're correct, sir.
Of course, that is a quote from Anthony and Cleopatra, Act 2, Scene 7.
What's the next line, Mark?
Editors say so.
Anthony said that to Cleopatra, then Cleopatra will go like, what the fuck is Ain?
Man,
Plumpy Bacchus?
Are you trying to say I got a fat ass?
What the hell?
I'll show you my pink eye as you get out the door, bitch.
You get a plumpy Bacchus point, Mark.
Thank you, thank you.
Clearly, thank you for going to get one of those.
Why does she get pink eye today?
You know why.
Plumpy Bacchus, I have pink eye.
You know why.
You know why.
You know why.
Wade, you're up first.
Oh, boy.
I must to the barbers, monsieur.
For methinks, I am marvelous hairy about the face, and I am such a a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.
I say this all the time.
I said that when I woke up this morning,
and then the following line is: but wait, what the light the on the window breaks to the bald and mine eyes do soar.
Uh, and that is from uh
a
very sad very sad
tragic.
Is that your answer?
Yeah, yeah, it's from Hairlit.
Wrong.
Fuck me.
Okay.
Mark, do I need to say it again?
Yes, you need to say it again.
Yes.
And then give me the country of origin.
France, I'm going to guess.
I must to the barbers, monsieur.
For methinks, I am marvelously hairy.
Nope.
I am marvelous hairy about the face.
And I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.
That's history, if ever I heard it.
Yeah, history, that your history.
Wrong.
Oh, no, I'm actually.
Oh, it's tragedy.
I'm really.
Wait, no, that's what I said.
It's comedy.
I'm definitely right.
Oh, Mark's right.
Mark, it's a right point.
Shit.
You can just do that.
Because the story was written a long time ago, therefore, it is history.
All of, oh, all of these are history.
All right.
Mark, you're up first on this one.
Oh, God.
I think this about you guys
every time we hang out.
More of your conversation would infect my brain.
Okay.
Is that your answer or are you thinking?
I'm kind of debating.
More of thine conversation would
not so fancy
than it is.
More of your conversation would infect my brain.
Okay, there's got to be history.
Because just some dude talking to another dude,
what's the next line?
Would infect my brain.
And wait, wait, what was
more of your conversation would infect my brain.
More of your conversation would infect my brain.
More of your
more
of more of you would infect my eyes.
More
of your
skin would infect my skin.
More of
more
of you
more of you
would
get out.
That's what it means.
Get out.
Weirdly enough, that is the following line, but it is not a historical play.
Is that actually the following line?
100%.
I'm not even going to look it up.
We all know that famous quote.
Wade, you got a 50-50 shot.
Is this a ha ha or a hoohoo?
Oh, that's from a tragedy.
This is also from Romeo and Juliet.
When Juliet looks at Romeo and says, more of your conversation would infect my brain.
So shut up and strip.
Let's bang.
Hey, that's a near rhyme.
I appreciate the effort.
It's iambic near tameter.
Pentameter, I hardly know her.
Your line is incorrect, as Mark already got that part right.
But it is from a tragedy.
You're right.
You're right.
I knew it felt sad and fucky.
It's from.
Why can't I read this word?
There's too many vowels in this word.
Hang on.
Coriolanus.
Nope.
Coriolanus.
Coriolanus.
Coriolanus.
Coriolanus.
Coriolanus.
Corgiolanus.
Mark, I can't believe you got the quote, though.
It's wild.
Yeah, but you know, I'm really up on this.
I've definitely watched Shakespeare play.
You spent a lot of time with Corey Giolanis.
I'm going to lie to you guys.
I'm going to lie to you guys.
I've watched it.
I believe you.
I don't remember any play I've ever watched ever.
And I don't think I've ever seen a play about Shakespeare.
I don't know his
play.
I don't think there's a lot of plays about Shakespeare, but I see where you're getting at.
I don't understand.
I don't understand any of the references to these plays.
I am so in the dark.
I have no idea what we're talking about.
And
I don't even have the basis to even really even guess what these are for.
I am so lost.
You're doing great, Mark.
You're doing really good.
Plus, that was a convincing lie.
Okay, good.
Good.
Yeah, good.
Wade, do you want to do the next one?
Yeah.
It's kind of like Mark's.
You probably know it.
Mark's one he just did and almost nailed.
I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.
A lot of infections in Shakespeare plays.
These guys did not know about personal hygiene.
Hey, wait, is that a clue?
You said it was a Shakespeare play?
That is a clue.
This play is by Shakespeare.
All right, so I'd beat you, but I'd infect my hands.
I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.
And thine particular flatulence is aimed in my direction.
Me, no, likey.
That is from the comedy Fart with the Wind.
Is that where that phrase came from?
Me no likey.
Yeah.
Oh, what a reference.
That's wrong.
Mark?
Yeah.
I'd beat you, but it'd infect my hands.
I'd eat you, but it would infect mine tongue.
I'd fuck you, but it would infect my genitals.
I'd look at you, but it would infect my soul with love.
It's tragedy.
Wait, what did he say?
I didn't listen.
No, no, that's your answer.
That's your answer.
That's your answer.
I like it.
You were right, by the way.
Yeah, which part?
It was a tragedy.
You were right.
I said comedy.
I cannot remember what you said.
No, look, I didn't expect that you guys would have a lot of Shakespeare, but I was trying to find a topic that I thought Wade might know more about inherently than Mark does because I'm always in the quotes I had
biased in Mark's favor.
But honestly, Mark, you're killing it right now.
Doing an excellent job.
Dude,
absolutely tearing it up.
So, of course, it's your turn again, Mark.
And I know you're ready because you're all warmed up.
You got Shakespeare bouncing like atoms in a super collider.
You ready, Mark?
Thine face is not worth sunburning.
I think that's a good thing.
That sounds like a compliment.
Oh, it sounds like a compliment.
Simultaneously, though, say the opposite.
Well, I guess we should start saying this to people and see how they take it.
I don't know.
Thine, what did you even say?
Is that thine?
Thine face is not worth sunburning.
That one did have thine.
You were right.
Thine face is not worth sunburning.
It means like, don't go out there.
Your face is too beautiful to sunburn, right?
Sure, sure.
That's what it means, right?
Probably.
Probably.
Comedy?
Wade, what do you think it is?
Clearly, this was an instruction manual about how to avoid sunburn.
This is historical.
Thine face is not worth sunburning.
Thine son, we are left to yearning.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, a little known fact.
The website.
Don't let him be right.
Don't let him right.
The website WikiHow was actually based on Shakespeare.
He wrote a lot of plays with really simple to-do lists as the subject, Matt.
No,
the quote couldn't be more wrong, but it is historical.
Yes.
This is from Henry V.
Ah, the one who didn't get enough food, but was Henry V ate it all.
Was it a compliment?
The internet tells me that it was an insult, meaning that your face is so ugly, even the sun wouldn't bother to look at it, so you wouldn't get sunburned.
I'm rubber.
You're blue.
The sun won't even look at you.
That's where that came from.
Weirdly, that's there.
That's from the
before that quote.
The one before.
Yeah, if you give me quotes before or after, I'll give you credit.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
I respect it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Wade, you go first.
Yes.
I really like this one.
I'm going to be honest.
This is the quote that made me want to do this.
and led to the deep pool of regret that never leaves my soul.
But
I love this this quote and it's very funny.
It is like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks.
The pin buttock, the quatch buttock, the brawn buttock, or any buttock.
This guy's inventing new butts out here.
He's labeling so many types of buttocks.
And in mine eye, I would love to stroke thine buttock.
This is from a comedy, buttocks of our lives.
You're right that it's a comedy, but
I hate that that's right because I don't like your quote.
Mark, if you can give me the next line, I'll give you a saving point because you could save this one from Wade's.
Dude, I'm a break-yard.
I'm a break-your-heart, man.
I don't even remember what type of butts you said.
How about this?
I'll Google what type of butts those are and I'll show you.
Listen them out again.
Ooh, okay, okay.
The
pin buttock, which is unfortunate, probably.
The quatch buttock.
You're gonna need a squatch.
As in
sasquatch, quatch buttock.
Without the sass.
With no sass, yet
a sassless quatch.
And then
the brawn buttock.
Like brawny.
Brawn buttock.
N-N-E.
No, B-R-O-N-N-Y.
It's LeBron Suns buttock.
Like brawn.
Brawny paper towels, like B-R-A-W-N-O, Braun Buttock.
Brawny man.
Okay, alright.
So I've got
pin buttock here.
Oh, what?
Is it like an eraser?
Okay, it's just.
Whoa!
You've got pin buttock, and there's
a something here.
Oh, I want to look it up.
God.
I told you I love this quote.
It's a great quote, right?
Wait, I think you had this.
What in the fuck?
I think
are you gonna share it?
I'm scared.
I don't.
I can't share this on the screen.
No, you gotta look it up, man.
Okay, good.
Thank God.
I don't know if I want to do that.
What did you Google?
Just pin buttock?
Pin buttock.
Buttock.
Pin buttock.
Tell me.
And then images?
Yeah, an image.
I had a cyst from a broken tailbone, man.
Whatever.
Is this that?
Look, man.
What?
Pin buttock.
Oh.
See.
Oh, see?
Oh, ah.
There's also a pin that you can put on your shirt that says, I love to eat ass.
I didn't see that one, you know, for some reason.
Why aren't there a bunch of pins of the Jolly Bee mascot's ass coming up when I searched this?
I didn't even notice that either.
That's the Jolly Bee B.
There's a bunch of pins
of a caked-up Jolly Bee mascot.
That is there.
Yeah, so that is that.
Quatch Buttock doesn't get much.
And then Braun Buttocks.
Viewers, listeners, don't look this up.
I wouldn't recommend it.
Yeah, Braun Buttock is just butts.
So that's.
Okay, I'd regret doing this.
Do I get a point for my pain and suffering?
Or the other ones, at least.
You know what, Mark?
You earned it.
Thank you.
Buttock Payton.
I get a point for butt pain.
Yeah, buttock pay.
All right, Mark, you're up next.
Oh, God.
Keep killing it, bud.
Thanks.
This one's pretty funny, too.
I love yelling this at my friends.
Villain!
I have done thy mother.
Was this in that conversation?
Where it was like a bite at my thumb at thee?
Is that in the same conversation?
This is not from Romeo and Juliet, but that's the same.
It's the same vibe.
Was there any other historical implications for doing thine mother?
I'm just saying.
Is this the same meaning?
Is a famous quote from Shakespeare's play,
Boop.
Oh, I get it.
I was lying.
No.
Wait.
The two of the play's characters accuse the one who says this of undoing their mother.
And then he says, I have done your mother.
What's that mean?
Okay.
I mean, I I feel like that was some clues that I was getting there.
Felan, I could remember what you said.
Uh-huh.
It's a tragedy.
No, it can't be.
It can't be.
That's the trick.
It's not a tragedy.
This is actually
a comedy.
And the line that comes before it is, you have undone our mother.
Well, yeah, that is 100% correct, actually.
And I did kind of give that one to you, but you have undone our mother, but it is not a comedy.
what is the actual quote here villain i have done thy mother okay uh this is from shakespeare's adaptation of the play by sophocles for like 500 years prior uh oedipus rex uh it's tragedy and the following line is and i have also done mine mother i'm gonna say mark artist is the motherfucker mark yeah i remember that mark article post line i'm gonna say that's one surrounding quote point per round but it is in fact a tragedy from the, and I love the name of this one, the tragedy Titus Andronicus.
Great play.
Great tragedy.
That is by Shakespeare.
I looked it up.
God, I hope that that's correct.
I'm sure that some of this is probably correct.
Mark, do you want do another one or do you want to call it?
I feel like I'm torturing you.
I feel tortured, but you know, that's distractible.
I'm tough.
I can deal with it.
If you want one more, I will harbor that against you, but only after the episode ends.
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I will do, we'll do one more.
This is another one of my favorite quotes.
It's a good one.
It's a classic one.
It's a sappy one.
Wade, you get to go first on this one.
Yes.
If music be the food of love, play on.
That's a famous quote.
I think that's in one of the civilization games.
I remember hearing.
That's a very famous quote.
What's the Star Trek voice actor who does the voiceover in some some of the civilization games
decay i don't know no
i think it's the nameway and he's yeah i think it's learned nameway yeah he passed away if music be the food of love play on uh this is historically accurate because it was in civilization which is a game about history
actually
is
and daddy hungry no no no no it is trust me and i don't like it either but it's the good no
i didn't like it man Oh, no.
Mark face history because sometimes it's uncomfortable.
Sometimes you don't like what history brings.
No,
no, no.
No, Mark.
But it's history.
He's wrong.
He's wrong about everything.
He's wrong about being a history.
Save us.
Okay, so in no way is any sappy bullshit not in a tragedy.
But I've been
saying that a lot.
Or have I?
Wait, what did I say last round?
I said.
Didn't I say
I said it was a tragedy last round, so you probably didn't say that.
I backed away from it being a tragedy, and I went to comedy, which was the wrong move.
So my first instinct was right.
And my first instinct now is to not trust that it's a tragedy.
Therefore, it must actually be a comedy.
But when I switched sensors before, it was wrong.
Could be a circle.
Could be it.
Yeah.
All three of them are on the table, really.
No, you said that.
I know what I remember what you said.
Unless it is a trick.
Mark, it's not historical, please.
You can do this.
I believe in you.
Unless
it's not historical, Mark.
If music is the food of love, play play on.
Yes.
They said in the middle of the Coliseum when the refs called time and they went, play on.
And
then
that's pretty historical.
You could 50-50 shot, Mark.
Even if you're just guessing.
I know, I know, I know.
One in three, really.
Such good odds.
No,
this is the game show problem.
He's got a 50%.
He's actually got more than a 50% chance because it was a one in three, and now it's two and it's a the statistics, something, and it's good.
It's good.
Now you got a 66% chance, probably.
In those things where if you change your answer, you have a more probable,
you are more probable.
If you are the one person who's doing all of the picking and there are three doors and you pick one and that one is not the one,
you should
the other.
Yes, you should change your answer.
If you have one of the other two picked, you should change your answer.
You should always change your answer because that's more likely.
Yep.
Comedy.
Don't you fucking do this to me, man.
Don't you fucking do this to me.
No, no, no, no.
No, it's comedy.
It's comedy.
It's comedy.
You got it.
I can't believe after all of that, you landed on a comedy and got it right.
Okay.
Damn it.
You should have changed the historical.
Ah, no, no, no.
You can't get me like that.
You can't get me.
I had fun.
That's really the only thing I'm aiming to accomplish with these episodes.
not kids.
I told you they're easy questions.
Easy questions.
All right.
It's like when Chica hears the word bath, she's just instantly like,
see, I hear easy questions.
I'm like,
just wait until I tell you the questions are really fucking hard.
Oh, that's fine.
I can deal with that.
Mark speaks, yet says nothing.
What of that?
His eye discourses.
I will answer it.
I am too bold.
Tis not to me he speaks.
Wade, you earned points for.
Oh no, I'm first.
Not having any memory.
Cars.
Garage door cables?
Question Mark.
That one Shakespeare quote you always say.
And then you got, correctly guessed, better strangers, fat as butter, brain infection, sunburn, buttocks, and Titus Andronicus.
Mark, you earned points for.
If any fucking rat looks at those wires.
No, those are two separate ones.
If any fucking rats touch the wires and also looks at wires in hand, fuck because of all the tech things we talked about.
And also, why can't I quit you?
That's clearly what comes next.
That's where that movie is based on.
You got a plumpy Bacchus point.
Thank you.
You got a point for being right.
You got a point for more
more of you
you
get out of here
yes i wrote all of that down
uh you got a point for i'll beat you you got a buttocks pain point uh you have undone our mother point because you got the quote right and you got the food of love point
which means Despite how Mark feels,
the score is currently 10 points for Mark and 10 points for Wade.
All right.
I told you you were killing it, man.
You're killing it.
All right.
Well, it's high.
What was the thing we decided we were going to add to the wheel?
What was it?
It was like halfway.
Golf reels was already on there, so we're good.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
Does everyone have half a point at this point?
That we have someone who
has half a point.
Yeah.
So we're going to spin the wheel of first.
We spin the wheel of how many, and then we spin the wheel that that many times of all this stuff.
So it wouldn't possibly give us three points again, would it?
Okay, two.
Oh, an even number.
Nice two.
We like that.
That's two.
That's probably fine for me to not at all.
Is there a drink point?
No, there's not.
Let's see.
What am I adding?
What am I adding?
What am I adding?
Drank the most would be good because I
wonder.
Oh, no.
Drank the most it is.
I was gonna die down to can, I downed a can.
I was gonna
put the thing in for most despondent, but that seems a little mean.
But Mark was very despondent this episode, even though it's coming into the wheels tied.
All right, I'm gonna hit it with a shuffle, shuffle, shuffly, shuffle.
And we got two spins of this bitch.
Would you add despondent?
What's that mean?
The bonus point number one is, oh, it was almost eight the most, but it's been a lot of time.
My previous reason of I just showered does not apply right now.
So you're going to have to make this judgment for yourself.
Looking at your cameras, this is not, I'm not saying that you look bad, Mark, but you do look like you're much closer to needing a shower.
And Wade looks like he, you look like you shaved your head not too long ago.
Like, you look pretty tidied up.
You got a striped shirt.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm going to give that to Wade.
I I can't argue because the lack of sleep has definitely affected yeah.
You've had a hell of a fucking week over here.
I feel a little worn down.
I'm okay.
We don't need excuses for me to be best looking for once again.
Otherwise, Wayne would never, ever stand on the bottom.
I shuffled the wheel.
We have one more spin.
I shuffled the wheel.
Please, God,
don't do this to me.
Well, if he is.
Wait, doesn't it remove it after doing it once?
I think that's a respin.
I don't remove it because we don't actually want to delete it.
It got the least amount of sleep.
It was almost least simple.
I know.
It literally was almost least similar.
Most self-sabotage.
That's a host call.
There was self-sabotage.
It's really
either of you self-sabotaged very aggressively today.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to call that a respin.
I'm going to call that a respawn.
That's too toss-uppy.
If it's best-looking again, I might have to give it to the late.
Anybody sing?
We quoted.
Did we sing?
I don't know.
Some episodes like this, I do randomly break out in a song for some bullshit reason.
Oh, yeah.
Did you wait?
Yeah, did you do that thing where you're trying to think of stuff and you're all oh, and and I went on?
I didn't do that this time.
No, I didn't.
God, come on, Wheel.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
This is torture.
Oh, I was the previous episode.
Well, that one's pretty clear-cut.
That was me, right?
Yeah, it was you, bud.
I think it was me.
I remember
the line that came before this was, I said,
Yeah.
all right.
Well, eventually, no wait, I won both points.
That's a turkey.
Eventually,
I did the last one or look better.
I'm an ugly loser.
I get it.
I get it.
That's what the conclusion is.
That's what we're saying.
Eventually,
after winning both bonus points for some reason, Wade has 12 points and Mark still has 10 points.
But honestly, Mark, you did really good.
Considering that you took a break in the the middle to talk about how you felt completely lost and you had no idea what's going on and you were scared and alone.
You basically only lost because of chance and you played a great game.
Okay, thank you.
But Wade, winner speech?
Yes, great episode, Bob.
I'm glad you tested our Shakespearean knowledge and being the one person who was scared and memorizing two stupid speeches like 50 years ago.
I'm glad I won that point just in case my English teacher is watching.
See, I did learn something.
Don't be mad.
Mark, give us your loser speech.
You had such a great time today.
Yes.
That's in front of you by Venmo.
I love Venmo.
Yeah.
Even a loser like me has heard of Venmo.
But did you know that even a loser like me can pay their friends back for once?
With the Venmo debit card.
You can spend your balance in so many ways.
I can't spend my points because I didn't get very many.
But hey, Venmo's Mo's got my back when even no one else ever will,
especially myself.
I have no excuses because I was too poor to be raised by fancy playgoers.
Because we all know Shakespeare wrote plays for the uppity and the richies and the havies.
I'm pretty sure that's historically accurate.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's very true.
And I feel like my upbringing was so disadvantaged that I couldn't even experience the
upper-class upbringing that Wade had.
That's the only reason he won, because of his silver spoons that were in both of his mouths, and that's not my fault.
Once again, this is brought to you by Venmo.
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All right.
Thanks, Mark.
Good losing speech.
Very gracious of you.
And I can't stress enough.
You did a great job, buddy.
Proud of you.
Wade, can't wait for you to host the next one.
I'm sure it'll be awesome.
Make sure you're following the podcast on whatever your favorite platform is for watching the podcast or listening to the podcast.
If you suck, then you'll know when they go live.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, just
follow.
It's everywhere where our podcasts are.
Make sure you follow us on our socials.
Our names are on the screen, but it's Mark Blier, MySkirm, and Lord Minion777 or Minion777, if you want to find it.
And I'm not going to say the thing,
but it's close.
It's so close.
Whoa, it's close.
You better look out.
Listeners, he means merch.
Well, it's not like it was on screen.
there was no visual.
You didn't miss anything, listeners.
You were listeners.
He was winking in Morse code with both eyes.
It was crazy.
So don't be so close.
He set off his firework display right as he said that.
It was nuts.
Yeah,
the world's most silentest fireworks.
You're really missing out.
You should probably watch.
Yeah.
So black
blew out the microphone.
Yeah, it's fun.
Editors
put in fireworks.
No, don't do that.
Anyway, that's it.
See you next time.
Wayne's going to host.
We're out of here.
Podcast out.
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