Peekaboo!

This episode of Distractible is brought to you by Doom the Dark Ages.

It Software presents Doom the Dark Ages, a dark fantasy sci-fi experience that brings epic combat and over-the-top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise.

Dominate demon-infested battlefields with devastating weapons, soar on a mecha dragon, and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on hell itself.

Doom the Dark Ages available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC.

Rated M for mature.

Good evening, gentle listeners, all watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode.

One-eyed Wade loses his beamer, goes blue with envy, tosses terribly, and flosses with the feathers.

Basement Bob's baby flops some flushes hard.

He then sends Ed Skyward and goes westside.

Manacled Mark has ad guilt, gets wet with Houdini, refunds a handy, and starts a sing-along.

From witness protection to snatch synonyms...

Yes!

It's time for peek-a-boo.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible.

I'm today's host, Wade, because I finally won again.

I say the word finally because I don't remember the last time I won.

It could have been two in a row.

I might have hosted and then given myself the win.

Can't remember, but I feel like it's been a while.

Therefore, good job, me.

I don't know why, but I thought you were doing a bit.

I thought you said that the way Colin Mockery says his news reporter names.

You were like, I'm your host, Wade, because I won again.

I'm wait a second and I'll tell you.

Wade, that's the wrong hole.

Lars, Lars, pants on Fars.

I think that was one of them, right?

Anyway, sorry, my mind just exploded because I thought you did it, and I was like, I don't understand.

You're good.

I was about to give you permission to talk anyway, so it's fine that you did.

Hi.

That's Bob.

Hi.

Do I have permission to talk?

Well, this is a show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points.

Whoever has the most gets to host the next episode.

Hence why I'm here right now.

And these two will be competing today.

But as always, we usually start by catching up.

And we actually haven't gotten to talk to the three of us in a while.

So how's life?

What's new?

Mark, you're once again hiding in witness protection somewhere, it looks like.

Yeah, they keep moving me because people keep finding me.

I don't know how they keep doing it.

I just wake up every morning, go out on my porch, go, hello, everybody.

And people find me.

That's

Hello, everybody.

My name is Mark and Blyer, and welcome back to my house.

Can't imagine why they keep finding me.

I'm just surprised they haven't kicked you out yet.

They must really love you down there at the witness protection.

Yeah, they must.

They must.

Don't know what crime I'm going to confess about, but.

Usually you're being protected from ratting out someone else that committed a crime.

It's not always yours.

Oh, I kept telling about my crimes.

It says a lot, though, that you think you have a crime.

Why are they protecting you?

I don't know.

Hey, I just talk, man.

Mark's going to rat himself out.

We got to protect him.

The guy was like, I thought he was going to tell us what somebody else said.

He keeps confessing.

Let's keep him in protection.

See what else he admits to.

He won't stop confessing.

I'm in the desert.

Peekaboo.

I forgot that classic desert strategy of peekaboo.

Keeps you cool in the desert.

I just rubbed my face.

I was like, say peekaboo.

I was like, why?

All right.

Peekaboo.

Well, it's very important to cover yourself up from the sun in the desert.

Peekaboo is a classic.

It loses track of you real quick.

The sun's just that Mario version of the sun angrily coming after you the whole time.

But peekaboo stops his tracks.

What's new, Bob, specifically?

I'm in my basement.

I thought we were doing location-based exclamations.

I didn't want to.

Sorry.

You know,

stuff is good.

James has entered a new era, which I have not named yet, but I'm going to just say that it's very destructive, and it's mainly of his own self.

He's entering a mark era, really.

Let's call it that.

Okay, all right.

I sort of hoped eventually he'd gain like a fear of getting hurt because he's not afraid of anything.

He'll just like climb up on the back of the couch and, you know, like.

he could fall and break his neck and all he just does stuff like that and he has started falling off of things now he started falling down he fell off the back steps on the patio because he just wasn't looking and ran off the steps you keep he keeps doing that but he doesn't act like he gets hurt like he falls he the other he fell onto his face he he missed this last step fell onto his face off the back deck onto a concrete patio and we were like oh

and he just stood up and was like

I thought kids cried a lot.

He does cry when he gets, when he like hurts himself sometimes, but when he really eats it, nothing.

He doesn't get scared.

He's just like, oh, that was cool.

And then just continues.

It's like, he's just going to keep doing crazier and crazier shit.

He's not learning to be afraid for his safety at all.

He's like the next evil kin evil.

I don't know.

It seems bad, but also he's like, he's fine.

Like, he's getting scraped up, but otherwise, meh, he's fine.

I'm going to trust him.

He's two and a half now.

Pretty trustworthy guy.

So they call it the trustworthy twos.

I feel an overwhelming guilt building up inside me for every day that I have not done a video about all the Prusa 3D printers that they have sent me.

Well, you could keep talking about them.

I could, I could, but I don't think it qualifies.

I think about it.

I'm on vacation right now, so I'm just like, I'm out trying to relax.

And then I wake up in the middle and I just,

I haven't promoted Prusa.

Are your printers like talking to you in your dreams?

Like, Mark, you forgot about us, Mark.

No, they're being used.

That's why it feels bad.

It's like they're like chugging 24-7 now.

And I'm just like, oh, I've got those productivity for all these printers I got for free that they sent in right before the tariffs hit.

They send them in, yes.

And it's like under the door of the tariffs.

Yeah.

Anyway,

I can make oceans go poosh in Houdini now.

Peekaboo.

Is that like a physics sim stuff?

Is that you're doing it?

Have I not talked about Houdini?

I mean, I might have mentioned it tangentially.

with the render farm.

Like, the whole idea was for Houdini, but now I'm actually in Houdini, which is by Side Effects, is the company that makes it, but Houdini is the software, okay?

So it's everyone, if you ask anyone who's Houdini, they'll tell you it's procedural.

You'll have no idea what that means, but they'll keep saying it as if it explains everything.

You know, what do you think procedural means?

Like, it does, it, there's a procedure.

You have to do things in a particular order to proceed.

It starts at number one on the list and proceeds from there, procedurally.

You open, you edit, you save.

Procedure.

There you go.

That's probably it.

No, it just means you have to build everything you want to build out of the fucking Lego bricks that they give you.

And you can modify it as you go.

I don't know.

It's nuts.

But they have little pre-made things like ocean and wave tank, and I can make it go

with all my computers.

Nice.

I don't know why.

I'm just imagining you have this intricate setup.

You launch the computer, you enter this crazy password, and then you're just like dropping a stick figure into the water and watching it go splash.

And you're like, yes, that is exactly what they do.

That is exactly it.

There is an extremely intricate, robust networking system and power distribution for all these computers.

And I load it up and I go, let's have it go.

And it goes boosh.

And I go, ah!

Eight guys wearing sunglasses having earpieces in with like guns.

You have to like scan your badge.

You get to the room and it's just

Yes.

You don't know how right you are, boys.

You don't know how correct you are in this moment.

I'm happy for you, I think.

But I've had to embrace Linux.

I don't want to.

Doesn't sound fun.

It's so stupid.

For Houdini on Linux, like, I don't know why this is.

Wait, if I go to Houdini Linux requirements, yes, I'm shitting on Linux again.

It has some great things, but also, like, holy fuck.

If you go to any program, game, has like system requirements, right?

And so, sure, if you go to side effects for the software, it's like you know, Windows, it runs on Windows 11, 10, 8.1 server is not supported, you know, oh, 8.1 server, not supported.

macOS, you know, just this version.

Linux, it runs on Ubuntu, Debian, RHEL, Fedora, CentOS, Mint, Pop, 2004, Rocky, Alma, older distros, like, it's just, and then that's not even the main thing.

It's, there's a sub sub-page where if you install it for Houdini, you need to install all of these plugins that couldn't possibly be bundled with it for Linux reasons.

You need LibASound, libc6, libdebus, libevent core, libxpack, libfont, libgl, glxo, ice, nspr, nsss, opengl, pcism, x11, x11, xb, cb, xcb cursor, xcb, dri3, xcb, icbm,

XCB image, XCB Keezu.

I'm halfway through the list.

I'm less than halfway through the list.

That's how many you have to install yourself to get it working on Linux.

You have to.

Sounds pretty much like Linux, but those are all just like command lines, right?

Plus, can't you like, can't you just like download those all into one directory and then be like, look at this folder, install all of that shit.

No, I don't know.

Maybe.

I don't know why.

Why wouldn't it be packaged with the Linux installer?

If it needed these things, why doesn't doesn't it come with it?

It's actually a different thing that you could install first, but you have to install the main software, and then there's about 30 plugins that you install for that.

But then once you have that, then you can install other software with all the plugins all included.

Man, I bet, actually, there probably is one of those.

But the worst thing is that list that I read you is for only some of those distributions of Linux.

That's for Debian, Ubuntu, Mint, and Pop.

For

RHEL, Rocky, and Fedora, there's a completely different list.

Smaller, but different.

I followed all of that.

Rocky, Elma.

I'm not following it either.

I'm not saying I know this stuff.

It's Linux is silly.

We're on the same boat here.

I think we used to have neighbors named Rocky and Elma.

It sounds like meme coins.

Oh, it's Glef and Mimphed and Gorpy and Purple.

Yep.

That is pretty much it.

Well, you did.

You used Linux.

Back when

we met in college,

you were familiar with Linux, right?

If I said I was, I lied.

I must have been like, I am lying to you.

Well, my buddies, a lot of my buddies went into like software engineering stuff.

So Ubuntu was what I had on my other partition on the laptop that I used when we lived together.

My laptop that I got for college was half Windows 7, half original Ubuntu distribution.

Wow.

Way back.

So that goes back.

And that was not new when I was using it then, I don't think either.

That's like.

Damn.

Not to brag, but I once had to launch a Windows computer in DOS mode to play a game.

Damn,

I know that's pretty similar to what you guys are talking about, right?

Basically, you know, it's funny.

I know Wade's doing this as a joke.

All of that you were going through, Mark, and in the back of my mind, I was like, I have been considering switching my web browser lately.

That's gonna be tough.

I feel what Mark's feeling.

That's gonna be tough.

Look, listen, I'm dug in, okay?

I've been using Chrome since it came out, and I know that it's awful.

And if I didn't have such ridiculously overpowered computers, I would never get away with this.

But I'm so afraid to change.

It's gonna be so hard.

And there's probably Linux involved or something.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, Mark.

Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah.

At least it adds some pain.

You guys remember that whole car thing we talked about, right?

Like, getting a car.

Wade's car is parked in his driveway.

Let's go, let's get a picture of it.

Oh, very soon, very soon.

My car, a few weeks ago, hit the port in Germany

and then it was in transit across the ocean.

And I got this weird tweet.

Someone sent me a tweet and they're like, Wade, bad news about your car.

And I was like, who the hell are you?

What are you talking about?

And it showed a picture of like a bunch of cargo containers washing up on a beach where apparently there was a boat accident and BMW and all their containers got lost at sea.

And I was like, oh no i looked it up i was like oh thank god this looks like it was from 2023 or something not me not me and so you got your car last week uh molly and i were out of town i was keeping track i was like still in transit still in transit this didn't take two to four weeks to get across the ocean that's fine whatever and then two days ago i looked and it was like okay i was on step like 14 of 16 for delivery i looked it was like step 13 at port and wait a minute we were We've been in transit for like a week.

What do you mean at port?

How do we, we're not back in Germany, right?

Like, they just had a different car.

Like, they're at this port.

They're at the port in the U.S., right?

Like, they hit this port.

They just went backwards in the step and tell me that it's actually here.

And soon, I'll have a car.

It's still at port with no updates.

And my car actually got deleted at one point from the app, and I had to go re-add it.

I have some concerns.

My guy.

Where is it?

Is it in the ocean?

Is it in Germany or is it here?

That car, my guy, that car is gone.

That car is gone.

Just shows me.

That car is fucking gone.

Where is it?

What if there's a person in the exact right position at BMW or at like the shipping line or whatever

who listens to this and heard you talking about it and was like, let's just fuck with him.

Let's just send his car everywhere.

How far can we get Wade to travel to pick up his car?

Well, turns out you got to go to Baltimore if you want your car.

It's definitely in the port there, maybe.

Hey, Wade, let me explain it to you in words, in a way you can understand.

Editors, like, help me out with this one.

Pretend my head is your car.

Editors, now delete my head.

Peekaboo.

That's your car.

I think the tweet was right.

Wade's car's in the ocean.

Editors, put Mark's head in the ocean.

Look at all the guam.

Put me in guam.

Look at all the guam.

I just, I don't know where it is.

I have one more.

Well, I've got two more things.

I might save one of them.

I got one more thing at least I want to mention right now.

Mark.

Yeah.

I've been hyping up a game for a while here, and you finally played it.

Blue Prince.

I watched you play it and I got to say two things.

One, I'm impressed.

Two, God, I hate you.

I feel, I feel that.

Tell you what.

So Blue Prince is a puzzle game, right?

You figure out different ways to unlock information to move, and there's different clues that lead you down different rabbit holes and things.

Mark came across like the first puzzle.

And instead of looking for a solution, how long did you spend in Photoshop trying to figure out, spoiler alert, swan song?

Look, man, I don't know because the thing is, I had it right in front of me, it was so clear.

Because what it was was like, I didn't know what this was, but I knew the last one was song, right?

So it was like this,

and not no one listening.

It's like it was an S.

I knew it started with an S, and I knew song was at the end, and that was like three lines here.

I'm like, no letter has three up lines.

That's incorrect.

What letter is that?

It must be some other letter.

Literally like a W.

Anyway, so yeah, no,

I feel dumb.

There was so much more cut out of that than you saw.

I spent a good hour and a half trying to figure it out.

Let me tell you, spoilers incoming.

There's literally an item you find in the game that when you look at that note, it reveals the password.

You don't have to do that.

It seemed like I should be able to solve it.

And, you know, the answer was more obvious than I, I look, man.

look i just i was like he's never gonna make another episode because if this is how he tackles puzzles in the game he's like something i can't quite see what if i get the hubble telescope can i rent that for a week and i just hold that aim it at my monitor i can read this microscopic text hey look man i got it i don't know what you're complaining about i solved the puzzle

i was i was reading some of the comments everyone's like wow mark's dedication to figuring that out i was like if he'd played the game for 10 more minutes rather than the 40 minutes he took in Photoshop, he might have just found the item that shows that.

I don't know what I actually didn't watch it back, so I don't know how the edit shook up.

Um, but it's funny, that's Chat GPT.

I uploaded a picture of that scribble and I gave it all the discoveries I made so far.

And I was like, What in the fuck do you think this is?

And I said to myself, There's no way it works.

And I said, I think the last was Song Starts in S.

And it was like, hmm, judging by this, could it be Swan's song?

And I went, You motherfucker, I'm gonna to, the AI should burn because of this.

This one moment.

Oh, did you see?

Not to keep harping on AI, because I know some people don't like us talking about it, but it's kind of a thing and we're making fun of it most of the time.

The new video one that everyone's really, really jazzed up about.

Vo, VO, whatever.

Yeah.

And it puts out, you know, video that still is very clearly AI nonsense, but it looks prettier, which I guess is the good of it or something like that.

But here's the thing: if you tell it to make a fortnight let's play,

it not only will put the person in the corner, it has almost perfect Fortnite gameplay occurring in the video.

And it makes me go,

I wonder where Google got all of their training videos.

I wonder where Google, owner of YouTube, got all of their training videos.

Hmm.

What happens if you if you tell it to create a makeup tutorial?

Like, this is my daily skin routine.

Get ready with me video.

Turn around with 10 fingers on one hand and like three noses.

Like, ah, perfect.

Well, I was going to say, I love,

I get, I appreciate that whoever put together their like sample stuff

had a sense of humor.

Because one of the one of the clips that was really popular going around was like a stand-up comic telling a joke.

And the joke, I don't remember it.

It was like very unfunny, which is fine.

But then there was another one of a guy, it was like chest up shot of a guy just sitting there.

And he's just, it cuts to him like he's mid-thought.

And he just says, And that's the day that I realized I would be able to count way higher than any other person.

And then he holds his hands up and he has like eight fingers per head.

And like, like, very funny.

Very funny.

Nailed it.

10 out of 10.

I had another weird medical wake-up.

You guys remember the Uvula chronicles, right?

So, Molly and I were traveling.

We got back

late in the evening.

I think like Monday or whatever it was.

I was up late.

I think I decided to record more blueprints or whatever have you.

So I went to bed late.

Got about two and a half hours of sleep.

And then I woke up.

All the animals were like, we need to shit now.

I was like, all right, well, I guess I'll take the animals out.

And I went to sit up.

I was like, ooh, ah, ah.

my fucking left eye was burning.

Like I had just poured hot sauce into it, like burning like crazy.

I couldn't really open it.

I finally did.

I couldn't see out of it.

I was like almost Amsterdaming myself, trying to see like different points of vision.

I was like, did I lose part of my vision?

What happened to me?

Did the cat scratch my eye in my sleep?

I was freaking out.

So I'll try to take the animals out.

I'm trying to like look at my phone to call an eye doctor because they had just opened at this point.

It was like eight in the morning.

Get the animals outside.

I call and I'm like, something's wrong with my eye.

I don't know.

I woke up.

I can't open my eye.

It's blurry.

It's pouring out water, burning like crazy.

And I went in and the doctor got like this yellow dye, put a drop in each eye, put me under the

applination lamp, which is like where you put your chin in your forehead and they do a little blue light pressure test and stuff.

And the one thing I think you never want to hear a doctor say is what my doctor decided to say, which was what, which was, well, that's weird.

Anytime your doctor finds something weird or unusual they haven't seen before, that's, you don't want that.

So, of course, immediately I was like, Oh no, what's weird?

And he's like, Well, it looks like you just have a dry spot.

And I was like, Okay, that doesn't sound that weird.

Maybe my eyelid got pried open or something.

He's like, But it's in a spot that shouldn't have just dried out, like the middle of my cornea, I had this like diamond-shaped dry spot where just for whatever reason, there was no moisture on the middle of my cornea and my pupil and stuff.

And he's like, Well, if your eyelid had been pried open partially while sleeping, you'd expect to see it dry in this region like he drew it out and all like on this eye picture and he's like if this was like he was showing different things he's like for it to be this pattern right here but moisturized everywhere else is bizarre and i was like

great

what do we do about that i'm glad to be a guinea pig here but uh help me please help me in pain scared help uh and he just gave me a moisturizing drop i was like i guess we'll try this let me we'll keep in touch come back and not tomorrow but day after and i'll do a recheck and see how things are going thankfully long and then skipping ahead, my eye, I use the drops, my eyes better, but no explanation as to how a random spot of my eye just like shriveled up and dried and died in the middle of my sleep.

Well, I think that all the people in the subreddit will diagnose you.

All professionals.

And some up-and-coming professionals.

So, yeah, no, that's weird.

Actually, WebMD'd it.

Thinks you have eye cancer.

Hopefully, not.

My eye pressures were good.

So, I was using like a steroid drop on this eye, which can raise eye pressure a little bit.

So, this eye pressure was up to like 23.

23?

If you're 30s, 40s, you start to worry.

23 is not.

You don't have to tell me.

It's like high normal.

I worked with eyes for a while.

Okay.

Maybe been a decade ago, but like this eye was 23.

This eye was 21.

It was a little elevated from the steroid drop.

Nothing crazy.

Vision seems normal.

I couldn't wear contacts for a few days just because the doctor was worried.

So I was wearing glasses.

Days the first time back in contacts.

I don't know.

It was very painful and very confusing to wake up half asleep and just be excruciating pain like that out of nowhere.

Anyway, Wade's medical anomalies.

Take two.

Someone's going to be like, well, if uvula and the eye combine what it actually means is your spleen is failing let me know i guess

this episode is brought to you by amazon prime whatever you're into it's on prime you know what i got off of amazon that is actually a crucial component of this show my coin that i can never remember which side is heads and which side is tails well it's not just about products sometimes it's about shows and amazon prime also comes with prime video whatever it is prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into.

Head to Amazon.com/slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes.

Good small talk, boys.

Good small talk.

I have a bit of time for an actual episode, so let's jump in.

Do you guys remember we've done a couple of episodes in the past where I had some old-timey phrases and I would read you the phrase, you guys tell me what it meant?

All right, we're doing more of that.

All right,

don't oversell it.

There's a couple of reasons why.

One, I really enjoy it.

Two, we still have a lot left in this mental floss article.

Three, I like mental floss.

I don't know much about them as a webpage, but I just like the word mental floss.

I like the compound word that it is because I think of like all the crevices in your brain being flossed.

And I enjoy...

Sorry, Bob, a Fantasia biased against, I guess, but I enjoy the mental image I get of a brain being flossed.

I would too if I had one.

This is where I'd put my mental image of a brain being flossed.

If I had one.

We've done 44 of these.

I was looking through my notes.

We've done quite a few of them, and there's still a lot left.

Oh, let me find my coin.

I don't remember who went where last, so I'm going to flip a coin to see which one of you goes first.

Bob, your heads, mark your tails.

All right, let's get a good flip.

What are you why are you doing it like that?

You do why do you throw it?

You throw it.

You need to you need to rely more on your you're like throwing it off your hand it's all thumb bow

that was a sharpened pencil

that was a very sharp pencil you're right mark you've convinced me

you have convinced me that that's the proper way like it's just it was an example obviously that wasn't a coin so it is tails which means mark you go first here which won't really matter but you could have just held that up and decided it was tails i was not watching well that's not my fault that's your fault because i I did do it.

Damn you.

Sorry.

No wonder it looked weird.

Studio light was on.

Sorry, what's going on?

Hey, what's up, Pat?

I'm just watching you flicker.

Watch this.

Really takes a second on that one.

There we go.

Oh!

Editors are going to love this.

I know, I know.

What's wrong with this?

What?

The editors are going to be jealous of something taking their job.

Put out the fireworks.

Editors, remove the fireworks from Mark Spanita.

We can't have those.

We can't have those.

Take those out.

Make it just regular.

So that was the Apple fireworks.

Here's the editor's fireworks.

Sorry.

Let's get back to what matters here.

Mark, what are happy returns?

All right.

So.

I'll tell you in a second.

I have a great one.

So you got happy endings, right?

Yes.

So happy endings.

But wait, which happy ending are you thinking of?

The sex one?

The happy returns is where you should go to get a refund on your happy ending

because you were dissatisfied.

You have to have opposite sex to give it back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They got to put it back.

I feel like I have to say this might need to get cut out or bleeped out, but maybe not.

I just, this is immediately what I imagined because, and that's why I lost it happy returns okay you're a guy you're laying down on your back and you're alone and you're feeling horny so you're jorking it and you finish up into the air and then you get covered in happy returns

what goes up must come down obviously well wade which one do you prefer returning your happy ending reigning jizz unfortunately neither one of those are the happy returns.

Happy Returns, despite the name, is actually just vomiting.

That doesn't make any sense at all.

That is silly.

That implies that the vomiting is good.

Yeah, really just vomiting.

That's kind of it.

I don't have a where it originated or anything like that.

Mine was closer.

How?

Stuff coming out of body.

Oh, you're right.

I had stuff going into body.

I'm so stupid.

God damn it.

I mean, if you guys agree, I'll give him the happy returns point.

Well, mine was not so happy, so maybe I had the irony about it, but on a fundamental level, I think he still got it.

That's true.

And vomiting and happy returns in Mark's world kind of match vibes a little better, I guess, but depends how you judge it.

Bob, what is a lean away?

The word is lean away.

Like the word lean and the word away combine into one compound word.

It's actually a practice that's been outlawed.

Modernly, there's a similar thing that you could still do.

It's called layaway,

which is where you pick out a product at a store and then they like set it aside for you and you make payments and when you pay it off, then you then you can take it home and you own the product.

A lot of like furniture and stuff like that.

Lean away was actually where instead of you picking the product and then leaving the store, you had to pick the product and then work in the store and live there without leaving until you paid off the debt.

And then you were allowed to take the whatever, the furniture, whatever it was home with you.

You didn't actually actually get to go home and lay down, but you could lean occasionally during your 24-hour, seven days-a-week work shifts at

whatever store was selling you the thing.

Mark, what do you think a lean away is?

Oh, well, it's from popularized by

Lion King.

A lean away, a lean away, a lean away, a lean away into a jungle the mighty jungle.

I love that instead of telling me what it means, you just put it in another sentence.

What do I need to say?

I don't need to say anymore.

That's it.

That whole movie is like that.

What does huna ka huna makata?

Oh, fucking shit.

What does huna makuna mean?

Nobody knows.

It doesn't mean anything.

What does he began?

If we can't even say a kuna matada, I'm not sure we're gonna figure out some of these words.

Huna mikata.

What is hukaduka?

Huka mudu hukaduka.

Huna Mikado?

Huna Mikada.

Leanaway is just someone who's tipsy.

And I got to start thinking about more boring stuff.

That one, at least, I buy, like, sure.

I think I got to give Mark the point for this one.

Bob, I love your creativity, but I felt more drunk listening to the Huna Mikada talk that you contributed to.

That was my words.

I know, but it was contributing to Mark's idea of the song.

Look, I'm already ahead.

I'm not going going to say anything.

Well, I guess it doesn't mean no worries, does it?

Some worries, bro.

Some worries.

Some worries for Huna Makada.

It means some worries for the rest of your days.

It means anxiety.

Sobriety.

Akunta Mulosis?

Got kicking a duba.

I don't know.

It's different every time.

Who cares?

Mark, what does it mean to be off the cob?

Wait, we know we did this one.

Wait, this is familiar.

On the cob?

I I do feel like we did something similar, but this isn't a 20-easy question situation again where we're getting the exact same words.

Is it?

No promises.

Oh, boy.

All right.

So, on the cob.

Off the cob.

Which one is it, man?

The one I've said every time.

Wade has said the same one every time.

Are you two okay?

Is it on the cob or on the cob?

Which one is it, Wade?

You keep saying different things.

OFF.

Off the cob.

All right, off the cob.

Good job.

I should give you a point just for repeating what I said.

No, Mark, you, yeah, you said it.

You're saying it wrong, so it must be on the cob.

Must be on the cob if I was wrong before because you said off the cob.

Okay, so it's on the cob.

Yeah, Wade was saying on the cob.

So when you eat corn and it's still whole, you eat it on the cob.

It means to eat something whole.

Bob, what does off the cob mean?

I feel like this is the fucking Saturday Night Live celebrity jeopardy bullshit.

All right, I'm going to play for points this time.

Somehow both of you are Sean Connery today, and I don't know how.

I'll be Connery.

You be Sean.

I'm playing for points.

Off the Cob.

It's actually a saying comes out of Nebraska, very regionally specific.

There's a lot of corn in Nebraska.

Their college mascot is is the Corn Huskers.

That's how corn-focused they are.

And so it's just slang in Nebraska for if you've been eating too much corn lately and you're trying to cut back.

And when someone offers you, as they do every day, everywhere in Nebraska, a corn on the cob, you say, no, no, no, I'm on the cob.

Off the cob.

That was not on purpose.

What the fuck?

No.

I I was writing down the point for you, Bob.

I was like, you know, he participated.

Are you sure it wasn't on the cob, Wade?

Are you sure?

Are you sure it wasn't?

I don't know.

I don't know anymore.

I can't tell anymore, man.

We did the bet too much.

I don't know which one's the one.

Slang meaning corny.

It just means corny.

On the cob means corny.

I don't like that one very much.

That's not bad.

You're real on the cob, man.

It's like on the nose.

You're too on the nose.

No, it's not on the cob.

It's off the cob.

I love slang.

Bob, what is a red onion?

Can't wait for this.

The color is red.

All right.

A green onion.

I don't give a fuck what you prefer to.

I'm not sure if it's more specific than this or what, but I'm going to keep it kind of vague and just hope that I'm in the right ballpark.

Red onion is a vegetable.

It's fair.

I think, yeah.

I can't disagree with your assessment.

That has to be right.

That has to be, that's a reasonable guess.

I have a guess.

I have a guess.

It's a slang phrase for something.

A slang phrase for a green onion that's not green enough.

I know what it is.

It's slang for a beet.

Because, you know, some people, they didn't know what beets were.

They pulled it out of the ground.

It looks a lot like an onion.

They bet into it.

Like,

this red onion's weird.

Oddly enough, Mark, you're closer than I'd like you to be with this interpretation.

That's what I'm thinking.

That's what I'm thinking.

That's what I'm saying.

Seeing something and thinking it should be different or perhaps better.

A red onion is a dive bar.

How am I closer?

How?

How am I?

How?

I don't think they have a lot of vegetables at dive bars.

I think it's called a red onion because you go there and it ends up being a dive bar.

I don't know.

I don't get a lot of descriptions for this.

Mark, I think you're first this time.

There is...

You have got this.

You are.

this one was built for you.

What is meant by the slang phrase, focus your audio?

Can you give me the definition?

No.

Can you use it in a sentence?

Yeah, use it in a sentence.

Focus your audio.

That's telling.

That's telling.

That's telling.

That clued me in.

Does it mean?

Couldn't be that simple.

You're too wise and special for that.

You're too sly.

You sly dog.

No, I'm literally stalling because I've forgotten what it was.

What did you say?

Off the cob.

Focus your audio.

God damn it.

Focus your audio.

Focus your audio.

Yeah, that's right.

You sly dog.

You.

Apparently, the phrase sly dog makes me forget because it's like it empties my mind of whatever's there.

Focus your audio.

Focus your audio, right?

Give him your answer, you sly dog, you.

It means

to

love.

It means no worries

for the rest of your days.

It's just my philosophy.

All right, final answer.

In.

I don't know what you said, but yeah, I agree.

Bob, let's focus your audio.

This is actually

from the 60s.

Oh, maybe it's more like the 80s.

I don't know.

It's from Group B rally car racing.

The radio transmissions between driver and navigator were pretty hard to understand, kind of just shouting at each other.

And

the Audi team would often get into arguments or sort of get off track because they were like yelling at each other back and forth.

So the navigator, to shut it down and to get everyone back on track to make sure that they're

still trying to win the race would just shout at his driver like, that's enough.

Focus your audio.

Because they drive an Audi.

I get it.

I get it.

I get it.

And he was just, it was exasperated.

The yo is how you know it's serious.

I get to not laugh at that wave.

I can hear you saying that.

It's good.

No, it's good.

But I thought you had it because your description was going into the right direction.

It's like, oh my God, he's going to get this.

And then the pun came.

I was like, I felt what you guys feel when I talk.

A part of my soul died.

It's fun, right?

It is for everyone else.

Focus your audio just means listen carefully.

Man, that's just not funny.

Yeah, that's not right.

The whole point of this is you guys are funny, which is why I enjoy this.

It hurts me, but also it's very enjoyable.

Bob, what does it mean to be claws sharps?

Well, clearly that's a a compliment.

And what it derives from is there was a period in time when everyone thought that Santa Claus was just the sharpest dressed man they could imagine.

And as a compliment to each other, people would just like you show up at the

bar, or whatever, you're like, oh, hey, look pretty claws sharp tonight.

Mark, claws sharp.

As we all know, the musical scale goes eggabook, eggab, egaboo, claws.

It means that it's sharp

note at the end.

Did you cut out, or did you say the music scale is egaba claws?

Egaba claws.

Everyone knows egaba claws.

And face, of course.

Egaba claws and face.

I thought it was do-re-agaba claws.

Yeah, sorry.

Yeah, do-re-me fasoloti claws.

Everyone knows.

It's the sharp note.

Egaba claws.

Egaba claws, you know.

Everyone knows the music knows

what Egapadelphin face.

Everyone knows egg of a claws, you fucking idiots.

Anyway, give me my point.

I'm so right.

Claws Sharp describes someone who's well-informed on a variety of topics.

I'll give you all something.

I don't know if it's point.

I'll take anything at this point.

I'm even.

Mark, what is having the bright disease?

Having the bright disease?

Yeah.

Someone could have bright disease.

What does that mean?

I mean, is that like radiation poisoning?

Like, you got the bad light in you?

Dog, what's the matter with me?

You got that bad light in you.

You got the bad light.

It could be.

This one is.

This is a tough one, I will say.

I don't know that either one of you are going to get it.

So I'm interested to see what you come up with.

But Bob, what's the bright disease?

This is a derogatory name that

was used to insult people of high intelligence.

A room full of people, and there's one person who thinks they're a smarty pants, and they like someone sent something, and the smart person is like,

actually.

And in the background, a guy would be like, nah, I don't mind them.

He's got the bright disease.

The bright disease describes someone who knows too much, particularly the kind of information that could lead someone to ratting someone else out.

At least in the mafia, having the bright disease often meant you needed to go.

Ah, I see.

Yeah, he's too smart for his own.

Ah, he's got that bright disease.

I get you.

It makes sense.

It does.

I feel like one of us was real close to that.

Yeah, which one?

If it's not self-evident, you might not have as much of the bright disease as I thought you did.

Ah, radiation.

I think you're right.

Radiation was real close.

Okay, so I've got a few here for you, Bob.

This is one of those where I give you multiple.

I could just do this one at a time, but I'm just going to get through this one.

Bob, what is a blobber?

A cabbage hat?

A pigeon?

A viper?

A telegram?

Yeah, no.

Those are,

of course, the names of the five top fighters for the Jets gang in Westside Story.

Blobber.

Cabbage hat.

Pigeon, Viper, Telegram.

Because

your girl's going to get a telegram about how much trouble you're in after you fight them.

It's actually the book that the author wrote, Competing with Holes.

One had X-ray, the other one had Telegram.

Yeah, it's definitely a Westside story thing.

Mark?

The Five Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Oh,

pigeon.

Oh,

pigeon.

And so saith the Lord, there shall appear the five horsemen of the apocalypse.

Blobber, cabbage hat,

pigeon, telegram, and viper.

My favorite non-canon Bible

book is the book of Viper.

It's got some great stories in there.

That one came out on a Sunday.

God was taking it off, had a little bit of whiskey, came up with Cabbage Hat.

Like, what, I got to name everything?

Come on.

You try naming everything in existence.

These are all terms for someone who is a rat.

Where's all my cheese?

Who goes first this time?

Who went first last time?

Mark.

You're up now.

Mark, what is a Master John Goodfellow?

A Master John Goodfellow?

Okay.

In the movie Goodfellas, when Samuel L.

Jackson had that briefcase and it was all glowy inside.

Yep, yep.

Okay, go on.

Go on.

Sorry.

They called that the Master John Goodman.

What was it?

Goodfellow?

John Goodman's person.

It was John Goodman's briefcase.

No, I remember that.

I remember that.

When John Cusack opened it on the counter in the apartment.

And the one guy goes, like, am I funny to you?

Do I look funny?

I'm a clown?

I remember that.

It reminds me in The Godfather whenever Michael says, Father, I want to be a real boy.

I love it in Godfather 2 when he turns to the other guy and goes, onions have layers,

you know.

They were in a red onion at the time.

Bob, what is uh Master John Goodfellow?

Mark is so close on this one.

Mark is so close on this one.

It is pop.

It's related to pop culture.

The musical Hamilton was has been very popular.

And then they made they did the movie, the like Broadway recording of the movie thing and everyone's watched it.

And a piece of lore that actually came out from that was popularized by that, is that was actually

Alexander Hamilton's name for his penis.

And there were some cut lines from the musical where he talks about how he introduced a fair lady to his master, John Goodman.

Wait, what was it?

Just

John Goodfellow.

We are so close.

We're so close.

Mark, you're just so convincing.

I just immediately, whatever your reality is, I'm there.

Bob, as a follow-up to that, what is the staff of life?

Just another name for Alexander Hamilton's penis.

Park, the staff of life.

Same,

but general.

Penis.

I think we're going down the right track here.

Bob, you're right.

Master John Goodfellow is another name for male anatomy.

All right.

As is the gentleman usher, the staff of life, the Cyprian scepter, and the maypole.

All of these are penis.

It had to be right eventually.

We got to do an episode where we do nothing but come up with alternate names for penis.

I think we've done that one.

If we could come up with a single one that was completely novel, I think it would be a success.

Let's do one more, and then we can wind it down.

Mark, what is the Phoenix Nest?

The Phoenix Nest is

a vagina because it's a source of rebirth.

The most logical explanation you've had for any of these yet.

I think I should give you a point just for somehow doing that.

And I'm proud of you.

You want logical.

I've got an answer for you.

All right, Bob, what is the Phoenix nest?

Okay, this cannot.

It does not get more logical than what I'm about to drop on you.

Way up high in trees, it's the nest that the Phoenix lives in.

I promise you logic.

You delivered.

Are you not entertained?

I make funny ones, you scoff at me.

I make logical ones, you scoff at me.

There's no winning here.

I just didn't expect it to be so logical.

That's how I sold it.

I said it was the most logical thing.

That was so A plus B equals C, it blew my mind, to be honest with you.

That wasn't even A plus B equals A.

That was A plus B equals B plus A.

That was just A equals A.

Yeah, that was a perfect tautology.

Well, we don't need to praise his answer that much.

We could throw a couple little compliments on my answer, too.

I'll get to that.

Bob, what is Mrs.

Fubbs Parlor?

Oh, that wasn't the last one.

Got it.

Mrs.

Fubbs Parlor.

Mrs.

Fubbs Parlor.

That is the most popular ice cream shop in the Jersey Shore area.

Jersey Shore area.

That's very specific.

Okay.

Mark, Mrs.

Fubbs Parlor.

It's another slang for vagina.

You want to step into Mrs.

Fubb's parlor?

Just like Bob was good with John Goodfellow, Mark, you're right.

These are all female anatomy.

I knew it.

The Phoenix Nest, the Netherlands, I knew it.

Mount Pleasant, I knew it.

And Mrs.

Fubbs Parlor.

I knew it.

Just the Netherlands.

The Netherlands.

That's already something else.

I don't know if that's...

Me and the Mrs.

went down to Mrs.

Fubb's parlor yesterday.

You both went?

It does take two.

All right, well, we'll wrap up there.

Mark, you got vagina.

Bob, you got penis.

Congrats.

Yay.

Bonus point.

I'm trying to think what I want to do for a bonus point.

Oh, yeah.

You need to add a thing to the wheel, which is the thing I am in charge of.

I don't know.

I feel like this might go against you a little bit, Bob, but I don't know if we have one on here for where are they?

Like, for someone being somewhere else.

Yeah, because I've recorded three episodes ever, not from my office.

No, there's some favoring you guys, pigs.

I think that's.

That's fair.

That's fair.

So what, like, the well-traveled man?

Away from home or mystery studio?

I don't know.

Something like that.

Undisclosed location?

Witness protection.

Put it down as a witness protection.

Oh, witness protection, yeah.

I'm sure when that comes up in like four months, we'll all be like, What the fuck was that?

Why don't we write witness protection?

What does that mean?

I'll read off what you guys have points for so far without telling you the totals.

Mark, you have points for peekaboo, tech gibberish, tech gibberish, damn, put the the sex back.

Is that what that says?

Sure.

Something Lion King.

Alina Way Elena.

This cannot say to love manpies, but it looks like it says to love manpies.

That is exactly what it says, because I said it means no worries.

Ega Ba Claws and Vagina.

Bob, you get points for aha!

Brave sun, reigning jizz, happy returns, off the cob, uh, something mikada, focus your audi, yo, right disease, Santa sharp, and penis.

Feeling good about how long those lists are.

I'm going to spend the how many, wheel?

Wheel says

one bonus point.

Was it going to go to listeners or viewers?

Viewers.

Calling it now.

Committing.

Viewers.

Double it up.

Oh,

so fucking close.

Best looking.

I didn't shower.

Like, I showered yesterday morning, so it's been like more than a day since I've I've showered.

Are you trying to talk yourself out of the point or into it?

I'm just being honest.

Like, I don't know how I look to you guys.

I feel pretty grimy.

I'm not feeling like I look that great.

I showered just yesterday.

I'm on vacation.

I'm so rested and relaxed.

I'm glowing practically.

If that's how you two wanted to determine it, I guess I can go that route.

I was going to say I was going to give it to Bob because Bob's camera quality is just so much better today.

So he looks.

I'm more well-lit.

My camera is definitely doing a lot of work here.

Hold on.

Let me turn on studio light.

Yeah.

My God, your shoulder is so sharp.

Center stage.

No, come on.

Come on, do it.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, do it.

Come on.

Come on.

There you go.

Yeah, for some reason, when I turn it off in center stage, it kind of follows me.

And then when I turn it off, it just zooms in.

But why would it zoom in?

That's really confusing, yeah.

Well, you're the host, Wade.

I don't know what we're talking about anymore, but it's your call.

I'll leave it up to a coin whether I go with camera quality or just Mark's cleanliness.

Mark's cleanliness will be heads.

Camera quality will be tails.

Cleanliness.

Mark gets the point.

Thank you.

I'm very glad it didn't land on viewers or listeners because I got to say, it was tied at 10.

Oh, I got a bad feeling about the outcome.

So the clean point going to Mark means that Mark wins by one.

Congratulations.

Me, the winner.

Really hope the recording quality is better than what I'm seeing right now.

Blurry, slug-like movement.

Me, the winner.

All right, well, thank you.

Winner speech.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Uh, all my answers didn't make any sense at all.

I, if anything, if it was uh, if it was an act of sabotage I was trying to do to sabotage my chances, I don't think I could have put forward a better performance.

How I won, I don't know, but hey, Hamuka Matada.

Bob, not winner speech.

Well, he sort of took my line there.

I was gonna.

That's just how it goes sometimes, you know.

Sometimes you're not the best-looking one ever.

Well said.

If you haven't already, go follow Mark at Markiplier, Bob at Mysker.

Follow me if you want, Minion77 or Lord Minion777.

I'm still posting blueprints, and I'm sure Mark will be too.

And I guess Mark will host the next one.

Stay tuned for that.

Until then, podcast out.