Don't Get Me Started

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Rated M M for Mature.

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode, masticating Mark gets into the ape issue, then invites his allies to rant hard.

Bilious Bob finally gets his drugs, has ass tetanus, frames combustion, is vexed over vacations, then annihilates Eeyore.

Wifed up Wade ruts with blue, dodges a setup, bashes boats, and fucks furries.

From sleeve terrace to mining tragedy.

He has!

It's time for

Don't Get Me Started.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hi, welcome to Distractible.

I'm not done eating my bagel, so I'm going to let these two gentlemen take over the intro for me.

If you've never seen Mark before, this is him.

This is what Mark looks like with half a shirt and a bagel in his mouth.

Do you just like not have cream cheese or did you intend to eat a plain bagel?

It sounds like a judgment.

I just, I would, that sounds really like unpleasant.

I'm sorry.

Do you not have good shirts or?

Do they not sell whole shirts where you live anymore?

Or...

Oh, you know, the tariffs.

I didn't want to pay extra to get the sleeves imported.

Like a Force Awakens.

One half portion of shirt?

All you've scavenged for today.

Well, this is distractible, and that was a great introduction to what this podcast was.

It's a podcast where you are trapped.

Ha ha, you got tricked into this podcast.

You could have picked any of the other ones on the top list, but here we are, and here you are forever and ever.

You have to listen to all the episodes now.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

There's some good ones.

There's some good ones.

Some.

Wait, are you miming being trapped in some kind of a cage or box?

Yeah, my rope went through, but my head didn't.

It's comic.

That's the kind of humor you can expect here in Distractible.

Hard, fast jokes, faster than you can react to them.

Don't even bother laughing.

You're going to hit another joke so soon.

If you laughed at every joke that showed up in this podcast, why you'd rather laugh in the first 30 seconds.

Well, it's going to be another one of those hilarious ones today because I'm hosting.

And that means I won the last one.

What disgusting story are we starting this episode with?

That's what we do now, right?

Or not at all.

We're going to start with whatever you guys have to say.

Whether it's disgusting or not is up to you.

Do you know the original way they removed tapeworms?

Chainsaw.

A real little one.

You swallow the chainsaw and it goes through your digestive tract.

And it'll definitely cut up that tapeworm.

I have a not interesting life update.

I've complained about this, and this is

I stole Mark's idea for this one, but I've been trying to get my medication, my medicine sorted out, and I've talked about this multiple times.

It's been more than two months, and yesterday I got the correct prescription for the first time.

Woo!

Yeah!

By which I mean, it's still technically not.

It's supposed to be a 90-day supply, and for some reason, they maxed out at giving me an 83-day supply.

But at 80 days, I can refill it.

So I basically have what I need as long as nothing bad happens, or I need an extra couple days to get my medicine from the pharmacy or whatever.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Why 83?

Where in the hell?

I could not fucking tell you, but the fact that they gave me as much as they did, I was like, I'll take it.

This is a win.

Count this as a win.

God, fuck.

Even the pharmacists, I've never had this before.

Usually the pharmacists don't really care, right?

Like you go and they're nice and they feel you're, they don't care.

I know the pharmacists now.

I know all of the pharmacists at my pharmacy.

And when I come in every time, until yesterday, every time I come in, they're all, oh, no.

We got to talk.

We got to talk.

I called the, I called the insurer and the doctor again.

And we got to talk.

And then I came in yesterday and literally they were like, woo, yeah, everybody.

And then everyone in the CVS was like, what the fuck is that?

And I was like, just give me, stop.

Give me my insulin.

Bob gets us the drugs, everyone.

Bob gets his drugs.

Anyway, that's not terribly exciting, but man, is it a relief to get that done one time successfully and pray to God it happens again when I need it?

We'll see.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I'm really happy for you.

I know that pain, and I understand it very well.

And I'm glad that they all applaud for you.

They don't do that for me.

No, I'm really nice to them.

So they like me.

Say I'm handsome.

Wait, who's flirting with you these days?

Oh, my wife once a week.

We schedule it.

We schedule flirting time.

Three o'clock, flirt.

You have to like force her to begrudgingly do it.

Well, don't you look human today.

Oh, babe.

You don't look any more bald than I remember.

You getting a haircut soon?

Because you're gross.

Did you shower yet today?

Because I can smell that you didn't.

I don't know what's new.

I like Blue Prince a lot.

I'm still playing it.

I had a run.

So Blue Prince is a game.

It's like a roguelite puzzle game.

I just made a video on it.

I knew all about it.

Yeah.

Just now.

Just when we recorded this.

I had a run that lasted like two hours.

One day lasted like two hours.

I had all these things fall into place.

I was solving puzzles left and right.

And then I unlocked this thing and this cutscene happened.

And I was like, oh my God, this is the best day I've ever had in this.

And then the game crashed.

And it reset that day.

Nothing came up the same.

I remembered some of the solutions and things I figured out.

So I had that knowledge, but it was a crushing, defeating feeling to have all that time.

Everything, I was like, I need this.

I got this.

I need, oh my God, I got that.

I got all these things.

And then to lose it all hurt.

That was a little while ago.

I posted an episode that came out on that, but I've been playing since then.

And I've had a couple more big victory days.

And I don't know, I don't do a lot of puzzle games, but I also don't know a game that I've played where I've felt more rewarded for figuring something out.

Like the way I feel, this, that, like, that bit of dopamine rush or whatever it is, whenever something goes right, it's just like euphoric.

It's so good when whenever something clicks in place and you figure something out and then like you get to accomplish something in that game, something about it is so addicting.

I'm not looking forward to the game ending because I just want more.

I'm like on day 28 or something as of this recording, but I just want more.

You should show off your rat's nest of notes and stuff.

I don't want to spoil anything, Mark.

You can't try to read any of this, all right?

Oh, okay, but I've got pages of notes.

You can't read it, it's

It's White's handwriting.

It's basically hieroglyphics.

I've got conspiracy theory.

I've got useless things written down.

There are things I wish I'm like, I go back and I see like a video and I'm like, why didn't you write that down?

It's painful.

But this is more notes I've taken playing that game than I've taken since like high school or college.

Podcast notes, not even close.

Yeah, than any of the episodes of detractable.

Nothing like that.

Wow, that's crazy.

What I write for this, even close to the work I put in for Blueprints.

I had a puzzle I was trying to solve for blueprints.

This isn't a spoiler because I got it wrong here.

But I was writing down letters of things and I was like, okay, this room, F, this room.

And I was writing down different things and I got fries.

And I was like, oh my God, there's a food clue.

Fries.

I kept writing down letters like fries.

A-L-G

G-H-T-K-S.

Fries, Al G-G-K-K.

What does it mean?

Is that a food?

I don't know.

There's like this stupid recording.

There's like dumb me looking at the camera like, what is Freys Algukakutz?

Does anyone know?

Let me know in the comments what Fry's Alguckakutz is.

I love that for you.

Great game, but man, there are moments where I feel genius and there are moments where I feel like the dumbest person alive.

Yeah, my episode has that.

I stared at a puzzle for 30 minutes, pulled it up into MS Paint, tried to like decode it, like really analyzing it.

Yes.

And then

I spend like 45 minutes trying to solve it, and I give up.

And I have to go look up something.

And I, I just, I can't tell you what it was, but it was so astronomically stupid.

I had five of the eight letters that it could have possibly be.

The end, the last four is song, and that's not a spoiler because that's the part of the clue that you get.

The first letter is S.

And I'm like, I can't figure out what these three fucking letters are.

And if I even thought for like two seconds,

on top of all the notes I just showed you, I have at least 34 photos on my phone of other things I've like been like, I'm not writing this whole thing down, but something in there is important.

Kchunk.

If only I was taking 60 frames photos per second of this

at one time.

And then the comment will be like, wait, you left six keys behind.

You missed four gems.

You missed an upgrade.

You forgot to open a door.

You turned around here.

You didn't see the light flashing at you at this time.

Like, I missed the most obvious shit while I'm like, I'm pretty sure the dust on this table wasn't here the last time I drafted this room.

Yeah, I get that.

But then, like, the guy standing in the corner with an axe, I don't notice because I'm an idiot.

Oh, God, don't tell me there's a guy standing in the corner with an axe in that game.

I won't tell you that there is or isn't.

Shit.

All right.

Well, that's fine.

Just be on the lookout.

Bob, any exciting Abby?

That was so exciting on Wade's Pref.

I put a new roof on the playset.

I ordered a custom dimensions tarp because our playset is a non-standard size for some fucking reason.

And then I screwed it in.

So now there's a yellow roof on James's playset in the backyard.

There is nothing worse than a non-standard size of anything, because when something breaks, when you have a door or a window or anything that's not the exact standard size, then it's like, well, we make windows, but you want us to cut one window that's an inch thicker?

Oh, that's going to cost you at least an extra $10,000.

Well, the funny thing is, it's just a tarp, so it didn't cost anything.

It was just a pain in the ass.

Like, it was still, it was still just $20,

but I had they had to it It was just like I had to figure out how to custom order a tarp from the internet But yeah, apparently every other play set in existence They only sell one size of playset roof things because they're all the same but not ours.

We got a special one for whatever reason.

So it's cool.

I hope nothing on it ever breaks.

Also, I dropped a screw in the play area and I never found it.

So

James is getting a tetanus shot at some point in the future here.

literally I was like I was putting the last screw in on the thing and I was like mehoo it like exploded out of existence I mandy look for it god knows probably flip my ass you need to have someone look at your ass I wouldn't even notice that's how that's kind of ass I have I'm glad it was just a custom sized tarp you needed Bob couldn't you just gotta was it a was it bigger I'm guessing than what you the normal tarp would be it was smaller so couldn't you just got an oversized tarp or do you just need to to fix it, like gloves over it or something?

Well, you have to screw it in, right?

And if you screwed into the, if you don't have grommets and you screw into the tarp, it's just going to rip.

And I could have grommeted my own tarp, but I've never done that.

So I was like, well, I found a thing where I can get exactly the dimensions I want.

So I can order literally the exact same size and it fits and I can screw it into the same holes.

But like, it was just a thing where it's like, they sell every color and type of roof for play sets you could possibly imagine, all in the one size they're supposed to be, and that's it.

And I was like, I even found the brand of the play set, and like they don't even sell it, they sell this playset, but not the thing you need to put on top of it.

That's because they can't find the right size.

Yeah, they were like, Well, fuck now, nobody makes these in this size.

Uh,

don't have a roof, I guess.

That way, the birds poop into it, cats poop under it, birds poop onto it.

What my dad always said: Don't buddy to do

potato.

He's just singing to get the bonus point wheel.

Bob, get all your bonus point things in.

I'm gonna eat.

I wouldn't eat that if I were you, Landy.

It's a container of barbecue sauce.

I'm not gonna eat that.

I don't think any of you could eat more than the bagel I ate at the beginning of this, so I think I kind of win that one.

Oh, that's true.

Fuck.

Oh, we weren't recording.

I ate half a sandwich.

It was a big sandwich.

I ate a whole meal.

It was a big double-decker club sandwich, but it was before I clicked record.

Who do you think looks more like their background?

Me or Bob?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm still bald what a callback right

no

no it's not

I know this one what a callback right all right all right all right all right all right all right

this episode is brought to you by amazon prime whatever you're into it's on prime you know what i got off of amazon that is actually a crucial component of this show?

My coin that I can never remember which side is heads and which side is tails.

Well, it's not just about products.

Sometimes it's about shows.

And Amazon Prime also comes with Prime Video.

Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into.

Head to amazon.com slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes.

We have many things to discuss today, or I guess kind of discussed, but I'm going to start off with something that really, you know,

really grinds my gears.

I knew you were going to say that.

All right.

I'm giving you a bonus point in my head, even though I'm not a host.

I'm having the best time right now.

I'm having a ball.

You stop.

Al.

So I'm actually not much on the internet these days, besides just browsing Reddit sometimes.

So I don't know where this debate originated, but have you heard discussion about a hundred guys versus one gorilla?

Sure, sure.

Right?

Okay.

Where do you stand on this?

So

the premise is who would win in a fight?

A hundred normal sized men or one gorilla?

All just unarmed combat.

I feel like it would be just about the worst win you could imagine, but a hundred guys has to take it just by sheer number.

But that's like

one guy would barely survive, and that would be the end of it.

But it would be awful.

That's my gut feeling.

I don't actually

have any reason I know that, but that's just how I that's what I think.

It's just I think about this and I can't understand anybody that's on the side of the gorilla because, yeah, it's a 600-pound gorilla was what I saw quoted as, but it's a hundred guys.

A hundred guys, if they all weigh 150 pounds, which might be close to average, I don't know.

That's 15,000 pounds of guy.

100 women could also take down a gorilla.

Easy.

Just sacrifice half of them to be at the bottom of the pile and you crush them all together.

Yeah, it would be really bad for the women or the, it would be bad for the humans, no matter who they were.

But they would, there's just too many.

I feel like changing the number is where it gets interesting.

Because if you say 10 guys versus one gorilla, gorilla, obviously.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves because I want to walk this down.

This isn't the whole episode, but this is, I actually really just wanted to kind of have this conversation.

No, I'm into it.

I'm into it.

All right, we'll call this nah, I'd win part four.

Okay.

100 guys win easy.

90.

I feel like you're in the same ballpark.

It's too many guys.

It's too many.

All right, let's just jump all the way to 50.

50 guys, one gorilla.

I still think the guys win.

This is territory where I would say, in my gut, I would like nine out of 10 times the guys have it, but it's theoretically possible that a really lucky or really strong gorilla maybe takes 50 guys.

Oh, 50?

Like, maybe.

Like, there's a slight, there's a slight chance, but I would pick the guys.

If we were betting, I would pick the guys.

If we change the parameters, I'm assuming an average dude and average gorilla, just to keep it consistent.

I'm always picturing average dudes, average gorilla.

I still feel like 50 is just too, like, there's too many people to grab and hold.

Like, you send five guys per limb, and then you still have 40 to go for the body.

But they can't get, like,

that's the thing, right?

You're reaching territory where it's, you can't all get your hands hands on the gorilla at the same time.

And it's not enough people where you can just literally have like a pile of humanity on top.

It's probably close to that still.

But it's enough where if the gorilla gets some space and starts picking people off, if the guys lose too many too quickly, there's a turning point.

I don't think it's likely the gorilla would win, but I feel like this is in the territory where the gorilla starts to have more of a chance if they're like lucky or they're really smart or something.

The way the way I look at it is if I'm, let's say I'm the gorilla and I'm the biggest, baddest gorilla there is, record-breaking big gorilla.

If I see 50 guys emerge from the forest line coming at me, I'm scared.

I don't care how baddass of a gorilla I am.

I'm scared.

I'm like, holy shit.

What the fuck?

50?

I'd be like, I think a lot of people are like, oh, the people would be scared.

That gorilla would be fucking petrified.

Holy shit, where did all these people cover so i think okay i get it like there's like a one percent chance the gorilla yeah that's what that's where i'm coming from but it's really low i would still definitely bet on the people yeah i would bet on the people all right 25.

that's still five per limb and five to just go after the torso you gotta think five dudes could hold back a gorilla arm right it would probably take more than two to hold back one limb of this 600 pound gorilla.

It would take more than two for sure.

As a person who regularly has to wrangle a toddler, I can tell you, it's in theory, it sounds like, yeah, you just hold the arm back.

But the thing about body physics, body mechanics is it's not like there's a fixed system and the arm hinges off the side.

If you hold the arm back, all of that torque is still applied to the body or is used to leverage the other arm.

Like, there's a lot.

I would still, if I was betting money on it, I would still bet on 25 people.

But this is way more in the territory of like, if the gorilla gets some lucky shots and takes out five, 10 people right off the bat and you're knocked down to like 15 or less, immediately the people are like, oh, we're fucked.

Like, this is, there's not enough.

I think a gorilla could win against 25, but if I'm betting, it's 25 dudes.

I would still bet on people, but it would be a wake, way closer fight in my head.

Yeah, it'd be like one to five odds, you know, probably proportional to the amount of people there.

So probably the tipping point is if you get below 20 people, it really starts to get dicey.

Like you got to really have some coordination there to make sure that it's not able to pick you guys off or pick one person up and hit five other with one person, you know, and that's when yeah, well, that's kind of what I'm imagining, right?

If the if the gorilla is as strong as I imagine, they could literally pick a person up by the ankle and just like, yeah, and then it's like, they got, then they have a weapon, which is, you know, awful if you're the people.

The tricky thing is, though, with a gorilla, it still, assuming it's a male gorilla, it still has testicles to hit and still has eyes to gouge out.

Now, whether or not you're going for those, that's where I'm kind of like, okay, humans are smart and they can communicate.

So even if you don't have a plan going ahead of time, you could still shout, go for the eyes.

And everyone's like

doing this for the eyes.

Like it would, it would definitely do some things.

20 and below.

You'd have to have that coordination.

You have to have enough people that are willing to dive for it, which as you get lower in number, you get less percentage of random people that would be willing to, like, all right, let's fucking go.

You might have half of them that are like, I don't want to jump in there.

You might have like two or three.

That's an important sort of assumption on this.

Is I'm imagining all of this where the people, the option for the people is you, however many people, we're going to dump you in this arena and you're going to fight this gorilla or we're just going to shoot you.

Because if it's, if it's people where there's any alternative, even if it's 100 people, most of those people are going to see the gorilla and be like, fuck that, and try and get away.

You're not going to have every single person being like, I don't care if I die, let's claw his eyes out.

I'm assuming there's a pretty high level of dedication where it's like, either you fight the fucking gorilla with everything you got, or you die anyway.

So you're going to, like, it's going to be crazy.

Unless they're from where my grandparents' cabin was in Kentucky, where I'm pretty sure everyone there thinks they can solo a bear.

But there it is.

Listen, Moonshine does some crazy shit.

Yeah.

There's this, like,

I forget where it was, but, you know, like Joe Rogan always goes on about like, oh, gorillas and no, no guy could take him down.

But I don't know if this was him saying or someone else on the show or someone else is just talking about unrelated.

But I always, I always describe to this as, do you think that one guy could take a gorilla or one guy could ever take a bear?

Ever, ever.

Any guy, strongest guy on earth, taking a full-on grizzly bear or a with no like no guns, no weapons.

it's just like a fist fight yeah i feel like that's a one that's a one in a million

even if it was the most muscular highly trained weapon of a human i could imagine a whole grown grizzly bear or a grown male gorilla doesn't really give a shit i don't think about that person and could still basically tear them in half a grizzly bear for sure there's no way uh just like it wouldn't happen but maybe i'm underestimating people's, but that just seems ridiculous to me.

Like, if you got behind it, we're able to like choke it or something, maybe.

I don't know how much they can reach with their claws and tear that direction.

Like, maybe.

Even if they just fell over backwards onto you, that would be pretty rough.

Find the nearest tree and just scratch, scratch, and paste on that tree.

Yeah.

But I will say, I can't remember who said it, but it was like, you do need those people that are like, I can take a bear because otherwise,

and again, this isn't me saying this.

Otherwise, back in like caveman days, you don't take down the woolly mammoth.

You don't do it unless you have that guy that's nuts and being like, nah, fuck it.

Let's do this, gang.

Exactly.

You need your Leroy sometimes, even though Leroy can get himself and others killed for sure.

Hey, Leroy

Jacobs.

One out of every 10 Leroys brought down a mammoth.

That's why we're here today.

It's the combo, right?

It's like, I feel like the space race brings to mind for this for me.

The guys who were going up in the capsules, the test pilots and the early astronauts, were clearly like, strap me on the front of this thing that's probably just going to fucking explode and blow my ass into space and see what happens.

And all the scientists are like, well, wait, hey, maybe we can make this safer.

Like, oh, let's up your odds a little if, but hang on.

Like, it's the combination of the crazy, brave, insane person who's like,

I don't care, I'll do it.

And everyone else being like, let's help him.

This reminds me, it's a totally different subject, but you saying that.

Have you heard of the XF-84H Thunder Screech?

Yes, yes.

Yeah, well, I don't want to spoil it.

You can.

Oh, no, no, I just pulled it up.

You can talk about it.

That's the plane where

it's a propeller plane.

It's a prop plane, right?

But the engine rotates the propeller so fast that the tips of the blades create constant, they're constantly breaking the sound barrier.

And so they create a constant, persistent sonic boom.

So as the thing flies, it's one of the loudest things humans have ever created.

If you exclude like the largest nuclear detonations, but like it's so loud that people 20 miles away when it was doing test flights or further heard it like a fighter jet was flying right over their house and were like terrified of it.

And flying it inside the pilot, inside of it, was so loud that it like physically disabled the pilots.

They would get sick or disoriented.

It basically was like giving them concussions just for trying to fly this plane normally at normal speed for the way it functioned.

The craziest fucking plane ever.

They got a test pilot to do it because anyone that actually tried to pilot, they would go up and immediately come back down and be like, fuck this.

But finally, they got someone to take a like 30-minute flight.

And I think he came down with a concussion.

Like, he literally had a concussion by the time he landed.

It was that bad.

I, I, that plane is such a, just the best invention.

It's like, no one can fly it.

Everyone for 150 miles hears when it's in the air.

It's the most terrifying, useless, loud thing.

And it was not, it's not like it was a propeller plane that could go like so fast that it was, it was just kind of a fast plane that had no other, it was just in 200 years, we'll find out that that invention led to some other use that's completely crazy and different.

Now, when you're trying to give birth,

sometimes what you need.

You know what's going to get that baby out of there?

Just sonic booms going right into the womb.

Just put the propeller in reverse.

It sucks.

Nothing scares a baby out of the uterus like constant sonic booms.

You know where they made that plane?

Wasn't it like New Mexico or something?

Wright-Patterson.

Hey, that's right by us.

Well, that explains why I had all those headaches a couple weeks ago.

Well, if you were alive in 1955, that would explain many things that we know about you, but also, yeah, that would be.

Oh, that's when they did it?

They had the propellers that fast in 1955.

I guess we had atomic technology.

It's the tip of the propeller, right?

So it's not like the entire face of the propeller is traveling faster than the speed of sound, but the tip, which is the part with the highest velocity because it's furthest from the road, it's just the design of the thing.

They were trying to design a plane to go faster, but it turns out there's kind of a limit on that because if the tips of your propellers break the sound barrier, then it is like flying a giant fucking explosion for every moment it's on and flying.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm sure it's awful, but I really wish that you could go see, like at an air show, they would have one of those fly over.

But like, you could, you couldn't.

You wouldn't be allowed to do that.

I would just be so fascinated to hear something that loud.

Like, I can't imagine.

And then you hear it, and you're like, all right, right, never again.

I'm good.

You hear it and it's like a hundred miles away and you're like, all right, all right, that's pretty loud.

All right.

Okay.

That's enough.

That's enough, planes.

Dude, I can't handle it whenever I knock over.

We've used like a baby gate to keep the dogs out of certain spots.

When that falls over, it hits like wood or something.

That noise is too loud for me.

I don't want to hear a fucking sonic boom over my head.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I would, I would not actually like it, but I'm just, it's a very fascinating thing that that plane existed.

Anyway, all right so that was a side tangent oh yeah the gorillas the real thing we're going to be talking about today is actually it's one of the few suggestions that we're taking from the subreddit i don't know if you guys saw the post but someone was very excited to share this idea i don't go out there anymore all right so anyway there's a post uh once you read this you'll understand all caps make it happen subreddit and usually if i see something like that i'm like i'm i'm not gonna take this idea out of spite because this is silly but agreeable middle 769 they said they didn't make it they found it on pinterest um before we get into it did we figure out the number or it's 50 50 gorilla people what is our 50 50 number i want to know 50 50

average people i would put it around 15 to 20 would be a 50 50 shot either way i want to say 15 would be very pretty pretty even pretty 50 50.

i'm thinking 12 12 for me 12 that's not crazy that sounds reasonable to me yeah 12 i could see 12 because then a gorilla would still be like shit, 12.

If, if it's a number that I imagine the gorilla would be like, ooh, I don't like these odds, then that's about 50-50.

12, I guess, would make sense.

It's enough for everyone to get in there at once.

It's enough for everyone to grab some part of this gorilla.

It's enough you could lose some people, and it's not immediately bad when you lose one.

10 is like pushing it.

For some reason, yeah.

For some reason, I'm like, 10, I think a gorilla could take 10, but I don't know why.

I'm like, ah, but 12.

That's two more than 10.

It makes sense.

There's something about those kinds of thresholds.

Like 10 isn't a natural threshold, but okay, so you have, I think, I've remember seen a documentary on the history analog or discover something about this, where if you got a tiger in the woods and they see two others, it's nowhere near as bad suddenly if it goes from two to three.

Like 1v2 is like, you could be like, okay, if I really play this right, 1v3, I'm like, there's no fucking way.

So it was something about a tiger seeing that.

And animals and we humans think in terms of those kind of logarithmic scales, not necessarily binary, like doubling.

One to two isn't as bad as one to three is suddenly very bad.

But three to four is very little difference.

You know, you have to hit a threshold higher to suddenly, I think 12 is that threshold higher than 10.

It really starts to make a difference.

Yeah, I don't know why, but

it feels that way to me.

Anyway, the reason I talk about this is because in this post that they made, which is a post they found on Pinterest, which is a post that originally was made on Tumblr, which has 784,000 notes, there's a game that this person flashing lights likes to call Don't Get Me Started, which is where on a random topic that I'm going to give one of you guys, you have to go on an angry rant about how it's the you just fucking don't get me started about X.

When for me, it was don't get me started about 100 people versus one gorilla.

There's no fucking way that gorilla is gonna lose this fight.

100 people, you shitting me?

100, like, you know, so a hundred people with no legs could take down a gorilla you know it's just like go off on that oh that's interesting 100 people no limbs no not no limbs

just mouths and just flopping

come at me gorilla maybe maybe by pure exhaustion the gorilla would get tired by the 80th person

he could probably get away with having a nap in the middle of killing everybody

yeah you just

as long as he's just laid down far enough away probably have some time Yeah,

man, but if you see a hundred limbless people rolling down at you, it's yeah, I wouldn't take that fight.

That's not good.

All right, so I got a random topic.

Sorry, I just saw the first one.

Oh, good.

I think Wade goes first.

Who gets this one?

All right,

heads, Wade, Tails Bob.

I forget if that's a normal one.

Sure, sure, sure.

Heads?

Heads, Wade.

Heads Wade.

Oh, good.

Yeah, I can't wait.

First topic that popped up in literally the random topic generator is motherhood.

I mean, good.

Hey, you don't have to.

You don't have to.

You could abstain.

Yes, I do.

So I go off on a tangent.

Don't get me started.

You have to start whatever you're saying with.

Don't get me started about.

Don't even get me started about motherhood.

Motherhood?

So much more complex and difficult than we give credence to.

Everyone's like, oh, man, being a dad, you have to deal with your wife being pregnant.

She's got cravings.

She's got mood swings.

The baby's here.

Wow, wow, I don't get as much attention as I used to.

My workflow's disrupted.

I don't get as much sleep.

Mama's got chemical stuff going on.

She's got chemical changes from the moment of conception all the way down through to birth.

After birth, the pressure, the postpartum depression, dealing with the whiny, bitter, super upset fucking husband.

husband two babies in the house now instead of one and that's not even talking about if anything is difficult during the pregnancy during the birth during the child care plus adjusting to that schedule adjusting the changes of your body trying to go back to normal trying to get weight off whatever have you does do not even get me started all right all right I feel like you took,

you tried, you know, you did, I'll give you a point for it, but you didn't go the way that we all knew you should have gone.

I know what way you wanted me to go.

I'm not alienating half the fan base.

Look, man, we're all playing.

It's a game.

My heart will go out to Elon, and I'll talk about gay wind.

I'm not going after moms.

All right, fair enough.

Fair enough.

But I'll give you a point for that.

But I guess I'll give you points.

My balls are only so big, dude.

All right.

Bob, lighters.

That's your random topic.

Oh, don't get me started about lighters.

Fire anytime you want it with the flick of a finger.

That's what humanity needed.

Do you know why cavemen had to rub sticks together?

It was a safety precaution.

You know how dangerous it is to have a little bomb in your pocket?

You're hanging out at the gas station fueling your car, bomb in your pocket.

You're at the school for career day talking to your kids' class, bomb in your pocket.

You're at the hockey game getting drunk, tearing on your favorite Canadians, bomb in your pocket.

Don't even get me started about lighters.

Like I need more shit to be worried about on a daily basis.

Plus, you know what having a lighter leads to?

Smoking cigarettes.

That's right, lighters cause cancer.

Lighters are worse than cancer because lighters

could give cancer to people who didn't even have to begin with.

Some people are born that way.

And some people figure out how to use a lighter and grow up to get cancer.

Thanks, Big Fire.

Some people are born this way.

That was good.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

Let's say.

Man, controversial topic.

Motherhood, gliders.

These are equally tough things to be angry about.

Oh, give me politics.

Give me abortion.

Give me, come on, death penalty, something.

Look, wait, this one will be much more fair, but not to you.

I think personally, this it's random.

It's so random.

I believe it.

Yeah.

We have two wheels.

Random topic and controversial topic wheel.

No, no, it's not controversial, but it's not fair to you.

Boats.

Don't even get me started on boats.

We are not meant to be out on the fucking water.

We're meant to be on land.

We have legs.

We have arms.

We started crawling around on all fours.

You know what you don't start off doing?

Swimming.

You're not born into a vat of tub of water, milk, or whatever have you.

You're born onto land.

There are water births, sure, but those aren't fucking natural.

The cavemen were like, oh, baby, come born.

Need tub of water.

Put on boat.

No.

We don't belong on boats!

We don't belong in space!

We belong on fucking dirt where we can walk and grow plants and eat ants and all that kind of shit.

What are you gonna eat on a fucking boat?

You're gonna catch a bird with your bare hand?

No, you need even more tools, and then you need a bigger fucking boat to hold all those tools so you can get your fish, you can get your birds.

Whereas I can just walk down the fucking road and grab a goddamn squirrel off the road.

Easy peasy.

But you can't do that in the fucking water.

You're gonna dive in and outswim a fish?

No.

You're gonna outfly a bird?

No.

This is waste more resources for bigger boats so we can fucking survive out there whenever we don't even need to do that shit.

Oh, but it's so peaceful having a nice sea breeze floating around, bobbing.

So you get motion sick.

And then you get to landing and you walk around like an asshole for two days because, oh, I've been bobbing around like this for fucking ever.

And you look stupid.

You don't need a boat.

Fucking Jack Sparrow over here walking around.

You ever see sailors get off their goddamn boats?

They're like, they're not drunk.

They just got off the boat.

That's why they're walking like that.

I love in your world that boats are for fishing and also getting birds.

You got a bigger boat.

You need tools on your boat.

You go catch your fish.

You go get your birds.

Yeah, I thought that was really good too.

I could see the thought process because you're like, you're on the boat.

You're on the water.

What are you going to eat?

Birds?

All right, fish exist.

Fishing?

All right, Bob.

Yours is holidays.

Don't even get me started on holidays.

Emphasis on the days part.

How many days of my life am I going to have to give up to some new fucking holiday?

You know which ones I need?

The classics.

Birthday, New Year's,

and Memorial Day.

All the rest of the holidays are just made-up bullshit to sell cards and force us into even more consumerism.

Unless it's a day off work, I don't need this in my life.

And if it's a day off work, I'm not celebrating somebody else's holiday.

I'm celebrating my holiday.

It's called I Don't Have to Work this Monday.

So it's kind of like Sunday part two, but there's no football, which is okay, because it's still Monday night football, because it's Monday, and football's good.

But holidays are such a fucking waste of time.

Unless it's New Year's Eve, my birthday, or Memorial Day, which we all know and love,

it's just a scam.

It's just the government trying to control you.

It's just the government trying to tell you what's good and what's bad.

Today, bunnies are good.

And eggs.

And those go together.

And that's the government.

They're trying to get in your head.

Tomorrow, who knows?

It's going to be National High Five a Squirrel Day.

And then after that, it's National Kiss a Fish Day.

How are you going to get to a fish?

A fucking boat?

Don't get me started on boats.

What are you going to outswim a fish?

No.

No, no, you're not.

I think we covered that.

Nah, I lost it.

Anyway, fuck all of this.

That's okay.

You admit it and you lost it.

You squosed the callback in there, and I think that's good.

And officially, that puts you in the running for most callbacks.

All right, Wade.

Yeah.

Pets.

Honestly, don't get me started on pets.

Pets are a bigger responsibility than anyone would have you know.

Pets, they're cute, they're cuddly, they're fun, sure, but nobody wants to talk about what pets actually need.

Money for vet bills, leaky anal glands.

You gotta take them to the vet once every month or two and have someone stick their fingers up their ass to release their anal glands.

Because apparently, that's a fucking thing they don't teach them.

Oh, I want to give you the puppy.

No, you fucking don't.

You're gonna gel up your fingers and shove up Fido's ass?

Well, someone has to because anal glands get clogged.

It's disgusting.

Oh, and then they get older.

We outlive our pets.

That's really sad.

It sucks losing pets.

Been there, done that.

They don't train you for that shit either.

But But when they get old, it's not all cute, cuddly, fun games.

No, I'm learning that cats stop using the litter box and they shit on the floor and they drag their ass.

They go outside, they eat grass, they come inside.

And guess what?

Oh, grass, I thought it feels so good.

Oh, I vomited.

That makes me need to shit too for some reason.

Let me just leave all of that right by the couch where you sit so your feet can either be in the nice, nasty, icky or on the lovely cleaning solution you put down.

Just got a new rug.

Oh boy, no, Mark yet.

I better go mark that!

Hike, piss, blah, blah, all over the goddamn place.

Oh, I don't want to eat the food you got today, father.

Oh, this canned food, it isn't what I happen to want.

I don't want those treats today.

I want what you want.

All that steak that you've been cooking looks great.

You had to look away to crack open a drink?

Fucking mine!

Get your own food now, dad!

Okay, guess I'll just fucking starve.

What good do you give me?

Some cuddles, some cute moments, but all

of the shit.

Don't get me started.

God, you really went there, man.

I hope your pets don't listen to this podcast.

Yeah, man.

I'm going to make them.

This is what you play for them when you leave the house.

Put them in their cage and play this episode on full volume.

Oh, yeah.

Take out the blankets.

Just cold, hard crate with a TV monitor and this.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good, man.

All right, Bob, you're up next.

What are your thoughts on donkeys?

It's not pet donkeys, just donkeys.

All donkeys.

All donkeys.

Don't even get me started on donkeys.

Fucking Eddie Murphy can kiss my ass.

Donkeys like to pretend like it's all fun and games.

They like to breathe.

They hang out with the horses in the field.

They eat some grass.

They like to pretend like they're chill.

They're just a bunch of assholes.

All they want to do is whatever you don't want them to do.

Have sex with the dragon?

Don't think I will today.

Oops.

Donkey-dragon hybrid babies.

Pull the wagon to market?

Nah, why don't you use the horse for that?

Actually, I killed the horse.

Yeah, donkeys can do that too.

Donkeys are worse than pets, because they will shit in your house, and they will throw up grass for no reason.

But they do all kinds of other shit, too.

Did you know that donkeys wear pants?

Yeah, they wear lots of pants.

And then they shit in those pants, and then you have to wash those pants, or it's animal cruelty.

Yeah,

I thought so.

These are facts about donkeys.

Don't even keep me going.

Did you know that donkeys like to pretend to be friends with ducks and let you take cute family pictures like they're all a bunch of orphans who are all gonna live together and be and then they just stamp them to death just for fun just to see your face when you come back out to the field and you're thinking, oh, I'm gonna go visit the lovely family of donkeys and ducks that's living in my.

No, they're murderers.

Donkeys and murderers.

Cold-blooded murderers.

They are actually sociopaths.

They do not give a shit.

It's all an act.

It's all a...

It's a ruse.

They think I don't know what they're up to, but I figured their shit out.

I can see through the shtick.

And the next time I'm in the same room as a donkey, I'm not going to fall for it.

God damn, I didn't think you were going to go all that way.

I don't actually know very much about donkeys.

Was that accurate?

I believe it now, you know?

Do you make yourself lightheaded doing these spiels?

Because I made myself lightheaded on the last one.

I make my heart race.

I think I'm like forcing myself to have

a little bit of adrenaline or something because I'm trying to get like amped up.

I feel like our careers are bad for our health.

I hope refrigerators comes up.

Just imagine.

All right.

Okay.

That was the one-worded topics.

I wanted to spell it over into some things that are two sentences, don't make me

don't even get me started about the scary tape.

I think that there's room to expand just a little bit into something that might actually kind of be controversial.

I was like, here's random, and then I had this plan for like, here's maybe something that is worth debate.

Feed me, daddy.

Editors, really crank his volume so people can hear.

all right.

So, Wade's dead now.

Um, does that mean I win?

Unless we want to give like posture.

We should define that next time.

What happens when a host or participant dies in the episode?

We don't have a contingency for that.

We should have a last will and testament.

Can you imagine if we actually just kept rolling?

One of us actually just died.

We're like, the show must go on.

If we agree that we have to, if we agree that we need to keep this as in the episode, one of our us dying.

So one of us call 911 or tell their significant...

No, well, let's finish the episode first.

Well, man, suck if they lose.

Like you said, on the wheel, but it just really falls out of their favor.

Hey, they got the point for didn't participate the most.

Okay, Wade,

here's a topic.

I'm not sure which side to take you on, but let's say kids having cell phones.

Don't don't get me started on kids with cell phones when we were growing up we were lucky to have a walkie talkie my grandparents gave me a walkie talkie and if i got out of range of the walkie talkie grounded in trouble knock going out again kids with cell phones they don't worry about dial up internet like we did they can just access whatever whenever they're in class cell phone goes off uh hold on teacher gotta take this call that's why they're dumb as and not learning anything because they're sitting there googling dumb responding to their friends texting their friends looking at at porn, making bombs, whatever teenagers do these days that's not fucking sitting there and learning.

We talk about the education system family.

Oh, it must be the teachers.

Oh, it must be this.

No, it's the goddamn stupid ass kids and their worst fucking parents giving them all this technology way too early, and they don't know how to handle it because they're giving it an early age.

They think, oh, I can just go off and multitask whenever.

No, your brain's not that good.

Our brains aren't that good.

Humans' brains aren't that good.

We're all stupider for having phones in front of us at all times.

Kids with cell phones, worst idea.

Nothing good is coming of that.

They may once in a blue moon have an important text or call that comes that doesn't have to go through the principal's office.

We had a protocol for that.

If something important happened, principal comes in and her calm goes off.

Come in, we need to tell you something.

Now it's, hey, grandma died, by the way, just thought you should now love you.

Don't forget to do your homework.

Fine.

And it's like, fucking, why is that on your phone?

Don't even get me started on this.

I looked at my cell phone every time you said the word phone during that.

See?

I'll take that phone and beat little Timmy's fucking head in with it.

Be like, are you going to pay attention now?

Gonna pay attention now?

No, he probably is not.

This is good therapy.

We should do this tomorrow.

I feel like Wade has a lot of pent-up issues.

Yeah, I'm sorry to get the real ones there.

All right.

Okay.

Oh, good.

Okay.

That's a good reaction.

Bob,

funerals.

Gog,

yeah.

Oh, let me just stretch the anger out a little bit.

Don't even get me started on funerals.

Did I not give you enough while you were alive?

Did you not take enough of my precious time while you could reciprocate anything?

Let's not even get into whether you did or did not ever say thank you for the countless hours of my life I gave to you.

Grandma, coming to visit, spending the holidays with you, eating the food you made for me to make me eat.

It's awful.

Don't get me started on funerals.

Like, those people need any more attention.

Only the most narcissistic, selfish, unbelievably self-centered people would possibly think that what they need after they have left their family mourning and just torn apart is a party for them.

That's who's important at that moment in time.

That's what everyone wants.

And

open casket funerals?

Please.

Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna die.

and then I want you to dress me up real nice, and I want you to do my makeup, and I want you to pretend, stuff my cheeks with cotton balls, pretend like they're not all sunken in, and then come look at me and talk to me like I'm there.

Yeah, that's fair, that's fair to everyone.

I need that in the afterlife.

I'll really enjoy that.

I'll drink it up like a delicious salve on my soul.

That's fair, that's good.

Miss you, grandma.

Oh, man, having been to like a hundred funerals, you know what, Bob?

That was spot on.

I think you're a little bit of a selfish bastard.

Unbelievable behavior going on over here.

I'm going to get some more.

Oh, don't even get me started on what else you've got in there.

Don't even get me started on getting started.

No, no, we're not going to get meta here.

Are you just like cycling through right now to pick ones that you want us to do?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'm hitting random, you know?

Well, some of them, I don't know.

Do you want to wait?

Do you want coffee?

Because that's what's up.

I will do.

You give me the topping, man.

I'll make it work.

All right.

Well, coffee is what's what's on the motherhood just came up again, so unless you want to man, this is really trying to get in there.

Ah, mother coffee.

Don't get me started on coffee.

I'm not a coffee drinker.

People say they wake up.

They're like, oh, the smell of a fresh cup of coffee.

People have their nasty yellowed coffee teeth.

They have their nasty coffee breath.

One cup of coffee when I wake up gives me some energy to start my day.

A month later, two cups of coffee gives me the energy to start my day.

A couple months later, oh man, I've not had coffee in like two hours.

I'm starting to really wear down.

I've only had two pots of fucking coffee today.

Oh, I only need 18 forests of coffee to get through my week.

You weak fucking little bitches.

I don't have any coffee.

I don't have any goddamn energy drinks.

I'm a fucking person who just learns to deal with it.

Jesus fuck.

Oh, I need my coffee.

No, you don't.

You made yourself need your coffee.

You got yourself on this goddamn addiction to coffee.

What good has it done other than make you spend more money to get more more coffee that doesn't quite get you that same high the first cup ever did?

It's like your goddamn serial killer.

You got your first kill.

Oh man, I gotta do another one.

See if it gets me that same high.

No, the coffee will never recapture that first moment of coffee glass you had.

It will never be as good.

And you smell bad.

It smells bad.

It tastes bad.

It takes up space.

I could have other good things in the store.

Oh, you know, you work at a place that serves coffee.

You know what you do?

Every 10 minutes, you'll change the fucking coffee.

You throw away the nasty wrapper of coffee grounds.

You start another brew of coffee.

People come in.

I'll have my 50 cent cup of coffee.

Actually, it's a dollar today, sir.

The price went up.

Yeah, that's what fucking happens in the world.

Prices go up.

And I'm sorry, you're grumpy.

You didn't have your cigarette and your coffee.

Oh my God, it's not my problem.

Get over it.

Go ahead and get me started on coffee.

Okay.

And you smell bad.

You smell bad, too.

Damn, man.

All right, well done.

All right.

Bob, this would be the last one.

Would be.

Because by the turn and the orders that we have been in, this would be it.

What are your thoughts on mining?

Yep.

Analyzing.

It's irrelevant to our everyday life.

It's a random topic.

Don't even get me started on mining.

You know who mines?

Miners.

You know what miners talk like?

Yo, cinnamon and gravy.

Oh,

gus chickens?

Could you live with that?

I grew up in a town of miners.

Every fucking adult talked like that.

Could you imagine that life?

You know how hard it was for me to learn how to talk normally like a human person like this?

Don't even get me started.

And the clothes.

It's the 21st century.

And miners still dress like it's 1863.

And no one has invented clothing in the last...

Look, it's not even about that.

I just wish my dad had been around.

Yes, he needed to provide for his family.

Yes, mining is a job.

No, earning money at the company store is not the same as living the American dream.

It was a hellhole, and we were all trapped together.

The mine was

supposed to be your way out, but it turns out work will not set you free.

Work will just keep you in the mine while your son's at basketball practice, wondering if his dad's gonna see him make a free throw this weekend.

Spoilers, he's not!

The mine took my father, the mine took all six of my brothers, and the mine took my life away from me, even though it didn't kill me because I escaped by sheer luck and happenstance.

A grifter picked me up on the side of the state road as I was wandering away from my father's funeral.

Don't even get me started on funerals,

and he happened to drop me off in the beautiful land of opportunity that is Cincinnati, Ohio.

I made me who I is.

And now

I almost slipped back into minor speak.

Don't you let me do it.

If I talk like that ever again, I want you to slap me in the face and drive a pickaxe through my heart because I don't want any part of me to remember what mining is or what mining does to people or ever of how many brothers I said I have.

Six, I think it was.

Why are we digging holes in the ground in 2017?

What's the point?

I'd be more worried about lighters if I were you.

Thank you.

I want to hear more about that story.

That's just, I'm captivated by that life.

My dad didn't even dig in the mind.

He was the canary.

All right, let's close it there.

That was well done, boys.

Never would have caught him if you were on a boat.

Don't even get me started on boats.

All right, so that was good, guys.

Man, you guys really went to.

Sorry about your blood pressure.

And sorry we had to relive all this.

It certainly went up.

Uh, so we're gonna call it there.

Thank you once again to uh flashing lights.

My forehead's supposed to throb like that.

You get that like the

a little bit, yeah.

That's probably fine.

So, I rated this in a way that I had predetermined.

I gave three levels to each of these rants, and I, if you got to the extreme of emotion, rage, or whatever, it would be like progress through the levels.

And so, like, I ranked it sometimes by that, but I also gave extra bonus points for memorable moments in them.

So, there were, and there were many.

And you smell bad.

Gus chickens, man, and tying it back to funerals, Bob.

Your storytelling, I listen, man, I love your story.

It was really good.

I always love when Bob tells a story, whether it's real or not.

I'm invested.

Spoilers, they're all fake.

So, in terms of the actual competition, I'll start with Bob.

For lighters, I chalked it up.

You got to about level two of anger.

So that's two points for that.

Then some people are born this way really made me laugh.

So that's that was good.

For holiday, you only got to level one of anger, but and Memorial Day really made me laugh.

So I give you another one for and Memorial Day.

Donkeys, you really, you really went deep on donkeys.

I didn't expect that to happen.

But yeah, you, you, you went all the way on donkeys to level three.

You went all the way on donkeys.

You went all the way on donkeys.

Oh, funerals.

Yeah, funerals.

God, that was fucking hilarious.

You went to level two on anger, but didn't I give you enough when you were alive?

You started it off so strong that I couldn't not give you points for that.

And then mining, that was very funny.

Just so I was captivated by the story.

Not as angry, but hey.

Shiggins.

C-H-I-G-G-I-N-S.

Shiggins.

All right.

Wade, you went pretty hard on,

you didn't go very hard on motherhood, and I only gave you one point because I feel like you went pretty soft on that you could

that's okay the pitchforks are at bay today and I think I said what needed to be said on that boats you went all the way and pretty much that's the story for all of your rants you went all the way on all of them boats you went to level three rage pets you went to level three rage my god uh kids with cell phones actually i only counted that as level two rage it got pretty close but it was there coffee easily level three rage don't know how you did it but you did it so that's that many points points for that round.

Wade, you also got no memorable moments.

I'll do better next time.

Dude, your rants were just like pure and simple rage all the way through.

But you got to admit, Wade or Bob had some memorable quotes.

Oh, his...

I will never compete with Bob when it comes to telling a story, and I accept that.

All right, Wade, you got points for scheduled flirts.

You got points for...

Get a get a hair it gross?

Get a haircut?

Get a haircut.

Oh, get a haircut.

Gross.

Yeah, okay.

You get a haircut.

Blueprints.

You were correct about gorillas, and you suggested the 12v1 was a 50-50, which I agreed with.

Bob, you got the right meds,

not standard size, non-standard size, and you were also correct about gorillas.

All right.

So this makes it a very close game.

I won't tell you how close, but it's extremely close.

It's that kind of close where you look at and you're like, that's too close.

It's the close where it's concerning to me.

Oh, we know what happens if you get the wheel again.

Please be a one and not the listeners.

Yeah, I don't know if you want to ask the wheel for things, Mark.

I think you should just pray that the wheel gives you good things.

Okay,

this is okay.

All right, okay, take this.

I take this.

Three, three bonus.

Three bonus.

All right.

What are you adding to the wheel?

Oh, what should I add to the wheel?

Do we already have Got the Angriest?

I actually don't think most angry is on here.

Put Most Angry.

I think that's fitting with this theme.

We got to add Best Told Story at some point, too, which would definitely have favorite Bob.

And we currently have, just to update 35 things on the wheel of many things.

Nice.

Can't be listeners or viewers again, right?

There we go.

0.4 viewers.

No!

Fucking, how did you do that?

I actually don't have control over it.

It was,

I swear, I promise.

I'll like put my hands up next time or something.

I swear to God.

Fucking hell.

You said it.

Wow.

Holy shit.

It was a bit.

Fuck, man.

This is a fucking simulation.

This is a simulation.

I'm calling it right now.

Oh, should we spin it again, Mark?

I think we must, don't we?

I'm just making sure I.

I'm not doing anything unless I can push buttons with my dick.

Loudest.

Wade, I think you got

loudest.

All right.

I'm a loud, obnoxious person typically.

All right.

Tall lists.

Just

Wait, did Wade sing in this one?

Was that this one?

Wade was singing at the beginning, and I remember saying specifically, Bob, while you were saying fuck, I was like, you should sing that.

Yeah, and I didn't.

But you didn't.

That point goes to Wade.

Did I give a point to Wade to Bob?

Can I?

Nope, you can't.

Wade, you haven't.

Look, I've been having my bias not picking you as a winner, so I'm here to hear everything's good.

We're balancing out the world.

I don't know that you did.

I think the wheel wheel shows me.

Look, you got a coin if you could say otherwise, but, you know, if you...

No, it's a coaster right now.

I'm too busy.

The point stand is thus.

Bob, you had 17 points.

A startlingly memorable storytelling, but Wade, with his constant commitment to the rage, eeked it out with 19 points.

So with 19 to 17, Wade, congratulations, you're the winner.

You also got this two bonus points.

Thank you.

This was fun.

I was a little concerned when we first started.

I was like, like, how am I going to drum up feelings for certain topics?

I don't know.

And when it started with motherhood, I'm not going to lie.

I was really a bit concerned, but this ended up being really fun.

It was a creative way to kind of yes and the bit of just like, all right, well, I'll find a reason to be pissed off about these things.

And I love boats.

Everyone knows I love boats.

But it was a fun challenge to be angry about boats and to find reasons to not be able to live on my boat and fish and catch birds.

And I'll have to think about that next time I look at a boat.

Also, Bob, you're storytelling, man.

Jeff's kiss.

Well, I don't have the rage, so I have to have something.

Yeah, Bob, your storytelling didn't win you this one, so you're a loser's speech.

You know what?

As a canary from West Virginia, I feel like even if I couldn't win this episode, I'm a winner in life for escaping that shithole.

Sorry, West Virginia.

That felt immediately too mean after I said it out loud.

I know people hear that shit.

But it's a nondescript mining town somewhere, not in any specific city or state location.

So as to not pit.

I don't have anything against you guys.

Don't worry, West Virginia.

We're cool.

No, this was fun.

I struggle to get rage going out of nowhere, but it was really fun to try and make it happen with such random topics.

It's a really good exercise.

It's like a good improv game.

It's very fun.

I gotta say, we took shots at Kentucky.

I did.

And West Virginia.

You did today.

Any states that you want to target?

Oh, Kentucky can suck my ass.

But West Virginia, we're okay.

We're okay.

I didn't mean any.

Mark, any states you want to take shots at before we wrap up?

No, I'm good, man.

I'm equal opportunity hating.

Next time we play this, maybe I'll hate amongst the best of them.

There's also two other games that are associated with this post.

There's one called Think About It.

I want to play both of those.

Yeah, you guys can take this for future episodes.

Think about it, which is you're given a random topic.

Your job is to build it into a conspiracy theory.

So it'll give you a topic and like, think about it, man.

So, and then there's World's Greatest Expert, which is similar, but so look forward to maybe that in the future.

Thank you for the suggestion.

We don't often take them.

And hey, you know what?

We rolled the dice and it was pretty good this time.

Maybe.

Unless everyone hated it.

Which, you know, we won't know until later.

Don't even get them started on this episode.

Well, thank you, everybody, so much for watching and or listening, especially you listeners out there.

Wait, I shouldn't have done that for the viewer.

That's just for you listeners out there.

Anyway, follow the podcast for more beautiful listening.

Oh, wait, no.

Sorry, listeners, you didn't get the points.

Sorry, I did the wrong one.

Listeners, get it fucking together.

Don't even get me started on you fucking earbags.

Why don't you just anyway?

So congratulations to the viewers who actually got the point this week.

You're the best, and

but with no sound.

I did a visual.

Ah, clever.

I was kind of hoping it was for the listeners because then we could have done the what's that guy in the Watergate where they blurt out deep throat?

Is that his nickname?

They could have given Mark Deep Throat.

Next time, podcast out.