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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

Lycepso.

Blundering Bob deals with a brain-dead Baldy, shuns socials, and plays fictional character lookalikes.

Maxed out Mark gets annoyed with Apple, twirls his moustache, is earnestly stinky, and John A.

Winsome Wade gets his Sith on, becomes Mr.

Rogers, a wiener, shaggy, and a maester.

From constitutional conundrums to game of thongs.

It's time for...

Who is us?

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to your...

Oh, I had a bit for this.

Eh, it doesn't matter now.

Welcome back to Distractible.

If you wanted expectations for what you're about to see, that sets them fairly accurately.

My name is Bob.

I'm going to be your host because I won the last one.

And today's competitors, as

always and forever, will be Mark and Wade, my co-hosts.

They don't have to say hi.

We never know.

It's never clear of when we're supposed to say hi.

It's the big empty pause where I stop talking and look at you.

It's next council will figure it out.

You know what it is in my head is I know that that's a problem.

And so I look and I'm like, they're probably not going to talk.

I should just keep going.

And then my setup for you is worse than it needs.

It's my fault.

That's okay.

I can accept that.

I can accept that.

I'll accept it.

No, we just need rules.

We need more rules.

That's what, if, if we've learned anything, especially what the listeners like, it's we need way more rules.

And they need to be more complicated.

Hopefully.

If they can be.

I don't know if they can.

Oh, they can be.

Well, then we'll slightly misremember the rules after a few months.

And then everyone that remembers them properly is like, they're not even doing the rules right.

And then we have no idea.

We don't remember what happened three months ago.

We have what I like to call a slowly dying constitution.

It does exist and it lives in our minds.

In game or game?

In

podcast?

In game.

Never mind.

You go on.

What are you saying?

I don't know.

Were you trying to say, in podcast, we trust?

If it's funny, then yes.

That's what I was trying to say.

E pluribus podcast.

Destractable unum.

I think you guys should do the talking.

I'm going to go back to sleep.

Well, that's sort of the plan.

If you've never seen the show before, I'm the host, which means I have a game, which I do have, written out in front of me with words.

And I give points and someone wins and they host the next one.

No, no one cares.

But before we get to the game, we usually do small talk.

And it's been a minute since we've all hung out.

So I'm sure everybody has something really interesting to talk about.

I got a bone to pick with Apple.

Uh-oh.

Well, this is not new.

Wait a minute.

Where's one thing we know?

It's that Mark's small talks last about three months each before we move on to the next one.

This one's taken a strange turn, you know, because Apple made me that store, right?

And that was weird.

Really nice of them.

It still doesn't work their regular business store, which is weird.

I tried signing up for a like business account, and then they said in the email, Hey, you should try out our small business store.

It sounds like this is more for you.

And I'm like, I tried that.

You made me, you gave me this enterprise store.

I didn't want it.

So I signed up for Apple Business Manager.

And to do that, you have to verify your business, right?

You have to verify your real business.

You need the Duns number, yada, yada, right?

I did that.

I talked about that.

Well, I didn't get approved.

And then they deleted my account.

I'm sorry.

What?

Are you not small enough, not business enough?

Or which I don't know.

Which criteria did you fail?

So they didn't tell me.

That's the thing.

It was like back in the early days of YouTube when my channel got deleted and they didn't say why or my demonetized.

And it was just like straight up the email went like, we couldn't verify your account.

Next email, a minute later, we've deleted your account.

Why?

Why did you delete my account?

So I sign up again.

And I try to verify.

And I have a Dunn's number.

I put in all the information.

I put in, they need a second person to verify it.

So like, oh, I'll put Mary who does like the accounting and she'll be able to answer all their questions to verify it's a business.

Nope.

Deleted.

Again, it got deleted two more times.

And it's waiting like two days in between each of these.

So by the final one,

I call them up again.

Calling has been a nightmare.

Apple, I don't know.

You just press star and you go straight to the CEO, I think.

Oh man, they were about to pass me up there for a totally unrelated reason.

I was trying just to get them to push an order through again because

I made an order.

It went over the credit limit.

And I was like, oh, I got to pay off that card.

And I called them to get back there.

It's totally separate issues.

I got passed to six different people before circling all the way back from Apple, tie up the chain to the bank.

They sent me to the bank.

The bank's like, why are you here?

Send me back to Apple.

One more pass.

And then it's like, I got you.

Someone actually solved the problem, which was just, let me click this button.

Blink order.

30 minutes.

Anyway, I call them about the business manager thing, about like why they're deleting it.

And he goes,

I don't know.

That's a mystery department.

That's a mystery department.

I was like, who verifies this?

I was like, oh,

that's another department.

I don't have any control of that.

And I'm like, you're the Apple business manager sport, right?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

But hello, Jerry.

I mysteries.

How can I help you?

So what he told me was like, yeah, sometimes you got to like.

Work the information to get it to go through.

Sometimes you got to unplug it and plug it back in and see if you're a business.

What?

Exactly.

So he told me like, oh, yeah, no, you need a URL, a website, and then you need emails from that website.

And all of your employees need to have emails from that website.

So you have the same email so they can verify it's all from the same yada yada.

I don't have a website.

I don't have an email like that.

He said, oh, but according to your Dunns number, you're like the sole proprietor of your business, right?

Okay.

So all you need to do is put your name as a secondary contact, but just change the spelling of your name so you get around their auto system that says you can't put in your own name.

And he said that's how it works if you're like the sole proprietor of your own business.

Is this Markiplier?

Yes, I'm...

Hello, everybody.

I'm Markiplier.

Oh, man.

So, yeah, it's

not.

That is all true.

I don't know what in the world that's about.

But everything on the business side of Apple seems like the most convoluted thing possible.

It's not easy.

It's not simple.

Steve Jobs is spinning in his grave about it, I swear, because holy shit, I just want it to be able to automatically say, hey, this is a new computer.

Set it up automatically as soon as I plug it into the internet, which is a cool feature, but I can't have it because I'm not a real business.

That's fun.

Yeah, very fun.

Very fun.

But I just got an email this morning that said they needed to call me.

And I'm like, oh, boy.

I wrote down a point for you, and it's a joke.

And I just want to throw this out there mark are you sure you got the right number did you get a duns number or a done

number

right because like you're done you finished concluded or a dunce number because you failed oh that's actually even better i see i thought you were going for the the dunce but either one yeah duns was the low-hanging fruit to be fair That's great.

I love how easy it is to just buy and use their products.

It makes, it just works and everything makes sense.

I'm in the midst of a, not dissimilar, but like a relatable experience to that.

I bought a thing.

It came, it didn't work.

And I went to the dude to do the online return and it was like, oh, just bring it into a store.

And they sent me an email that was like, here, just bring it into the store.

Here's the number you need.

And I brought it into the store.

And the guy at the store was like, oh, did you use your phone number when you bought this?

And I was like, I don't, I think so.

I bought it through your website.

It's not like I bought it from.

He's like, ooh, there's no,

your phone number's not coming up.

Like, well, okay, I'm holding the thing here.

Can you just take it and give me a refund?

Like,

no,

no.

Like, well, I have an email that says bring it to any store and they'll do the return

or exchange.

I'll exchange it.

I don't even care.

And he was like,

I can't help you.

that you're going to have to go back to the internet.

And like, I stood there and looked at him and I was like, your company says, and then you say, Do I just own this broken thing now forever?

Like, what?

I went to another store yesterday, and the guy, literally, while they were doing the transaction, the guy at the store was like, You said you tried to do this before.

What store did you go to?

And I was like, Oh, over in this other place, that store.

And he's like, Who did you work with?

I was like, I don't know, like medium, tall guy, like shaved head, goatee.

And he looked at me and was like,

That makes sense.

That makes sense.

He's so stupid.

I'm so sorry.

And then he just did the return for me because apparently the guy I went to the store to talk to just didn't know how to do it.

Interesting.

But anyway, that's a little bit different.

But when the company tells you conflicting things like that or deletes your account repeatedly, I don't understand.

I don't understand.

Thankfully, it wasn't my normal account.

It was an account that I made specifically for signing up for this.

Jesus, they just delete your main personal Apple

man, you're phone and all of your Apple everything is just like, oh, you don't have an account.

Turns out I'm not a computer anymore.

You're surprisingly chill about it.

This sounds like the kind of thing that would make my head explode a little bit.

Well, it's not essential, right?

That's the thing.

It's just for convenience to save time.

But at this point, like, I wouldn't.

I'm losing so much more time trying to get this to work than if I would just to each individually take, because these are to test out for my render farm, right?

To see if I can save power.

And I was like, oh, if I just plug them, there's a way you can plug them in the internet.

It'll automatically set it up with all the programs.

It'll install everything.

That's perfect for me.

That'd be so nice.

And I was like, that would save time.

Whereas it takes like 10-15 minutes to set up each one.

And I'm like, over a few, it adds up.

And I'm like, but now.

Now I just like, I'm not even going to bother.

That's sad.

They'll be upset when they hear that I'm complaining onto this podcast.

They'll come crawling back.

This isn't a real podcast.

They're not going to care.

Tim Apple will be rolling over in his infrared exposure chamber.

We don't have a Brooks and Duns number.

We could.

Do you want one?

Do we need one?

Can we get one?

Just in case?

Oh, the benefits.

We should do an episode where all we try to do is set up an Apple store.

Successfully create an account with Apple Business.

I bet you guys would be able to go through just fine.

It just for some reason.

Yeah, what takes three seconds.

Well, I don't spell very good, so every time I type my name in, it'll be a little different.

I'll just accidentally circumvent their random security.

Easy peasy.

Are you Barb Markskin?

No, I'm Bob Milkskins.

I do things too, by the way.

My dad is Rumple Milkskins.

Yeah, what's up with you, Wayne?

Animorphs.

What are you doing?

Finished it.

Done.

I started reading another book I've now forgotten the name of because I just started it and I've not read it for two days.

But Easter happened.

My nephews came over and I played basketball for like two and a half hours.

I got a little sunburnt.

You can't tell.

I drowned myself in

aloe cream or whatever.

But got a little sunburnt playing basketball.

Boy, oh boy.

Feeling it today.

Pain.

Need to exercise more than just three times a year.

I'm learning.

Four times a year minimum.

Yeah, I really go for the minimum.

But this week, I guess, marks the 20th anniversary, I think, of Star Wars Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith.

coming out.

So it's going back into theaters, or at least some select theaters.

So I'm going to go see that again with my my nephews, which is a little strange to

go see a movie that's 20 years old in theaters, but I'm kind of excited for it for whatever reason.

There's just something about the theatrical experience of like the Star Wars blaring intro that just like is super hype.

I'm excited to do that.

But I want to talk about...

Okay, I don't want to go into major spoilers here, but The Last of Us Part 2 came out a while ago, right?

And Last of Us Season 2 is coming out on HBO right now, or Max or whatever.

Boy, oh boy, did they pick a doozy of an episode to release on Easter?

The I feel like the holiday, the vibe of Easter is usually relatively chill, at least in my family.

I feel like the actual celebrations of Easter are pretty lighthearted.

Yeah, it's like, go hunt eggs, have a basket of candy.

And then I went to relax Sunday night.

I was like, oh, the last of us, episode two is out.

I was annihilated at the end of Easter.

And I was like, man, why did they pick today for this episode?

So my gripe is not even with the content of the episode because I kind of knew what was happening, but

Easter.

In that octave.

In that octave.

Easter!

That's all.

I just wanted to get that out.

I have no idea.

I haven't been watching, so I don't know.

Yeah, I like to just wait and then binge them more.

So

I have been dodging spoilers like I'm playing dodgeball against the Purple Cobras, but I did see.

A lot of people desperately upset about the episode that came out on Easter.

Well, I played part two, and the only reason I'm watching it as it comes out is because I'm not so worried about big spoilers as so much as I don't want to be spoiled on things that they might have changed from the game to the show.

Notoriously, if you go to like, because I think I showed, I tweet about the podcast, right?

I go on accent or Twitter, tweet about the podcast, or do whatever.

Notoriously, whenever I go on there, the number one recommended thing is the most thing I don't want to see every time.

So, like, if I go on there, I'm like, all right, don't want to read.

And then the first line is like, hey, did you hear The Last of Us, this happened?

And it's like, why is this the one post that I see?

You're a recommended post.

I was like, no, that's the opposite of what I want.

Why is this what I get?

Just don't even go.

Don't even go.

Yeah, I just, I just post to social media from other apps using the share function on my phone.

You don't even have to open it.

Hi, I'm Wade.

I didn't know that existed.

It's not

per usual for me.

That's not surprising to me in the least.

Speaking of dodging social media,

I did a redesign on my phone recently where I, instead of, you know, iPhones, traditionally, you just have like a whole fuck of apps and it's just apps, apps, apps.

There's like nine pages of apps on your phone.

I hate that.

I've always hated that.

I've always thought that was incredibly stupid.

I went in and redesigned so that all I have is like widgets.

This is like my main home screen.

And then I have one page where it's like apps I use multiple times a day.

on this page.

No social media, no anything.

It's all like utility stuff.

So if I want to open an app, I actually have to do the thing where you like pull down and start typing to pull up an app specifically by name.

It's kind of changed my whole relationship with my phone.

I don't just, because I literally, I didn't realize it.

If when I used to pick up my phone, TikTok and whatever social media wasn't like, I had them in a folder and they were not in like the first place I would look, but I'd pick up my phone, look at my to-do list or whatever, and then instinctively just like tap, tap, TikTok.

And now that there's, I have to start typing to do it, there's there's enough of a thing where multiple times in the last week i've picked up my phone done what i was meaning to do and then in the middle of typing the word tick tock been like oh why the fuck and then put my phone down it's like just enough where it's like i've dodged so many hours of extra social media bullshit it's been awesome it's been so good There's an app that also does that kind of thing.

I forget what it's called, but whenever you click on any other app like that you define, it'll instead of that, it'll open a screen or or maybe that's how it works it opens a full page screen that's like are you sure you want to do this and there's a five second timer before you can do it uh i didn't try but i hear that's also effective yeah no i looked into a bunch of that there's a couple apps called like uh like dumb phone and blank space where they're designed to like turn your phone into like those minimalist e-ink phones where it's all it doesn't have any that that sort of stuff and they have yeah i just eventually i was just like like i need the minimum effective threshold because i don't want my phone to actually be a pain in the ass to use but i need it to be just just enough where it's like if i have to do something i can still do it but if i don't have to do something it's like why would i do that i need the web browser

surprisingly well i'm shocked i find that i've got six tabs of espn and like four of twitter sometimes open on my computer why would you need so many twitters sometimes you're just like browsing and like i don't know i'll mindlessly be like reading the spn article then i'll hit the little plus and be be like oh what am I what am I doing?

Let me social media like it's like you're saying it's like I'll be thinking about something that's like I'll be thinking about the ESPN article I just read or I'll be thinking about like oh the Bengals draft is this week which it is why am I on Twitter again no open tab and then it's like I've got 10 tabs open and they're all ESPN or Twitter.

It's not good.

I just don't do that.

Yeah, that's all you got to do is not do that.

I'm feeling a little oh, Bob, I'm glad that you have a way to not go on TikTok.

Wade, you fucking idiot.

Why are you on Twitter, you piece of shit?

I'm not competing against Bob.

I'm trying to get him on my side.

I'm competing against you.

Ask kissing points for Mark.

Oh, shit, I forgot.

We're doing an episode.

No, but honestly, I did this whole thing.

I was like, this isn't going to work.

This is going to be really stupid.

Absolutely.

Shocked at how effective it has been.

And it's a very meaningless change because my phone still does all the exact same shit.

I didn't uninstall anything.

It's just like the app isn't where I can touch it in half a second.

Totally dodges my mind.

I move on to the next ADD thing, and I've been reading a lot more books.

I've been getting into books.

Books are good for you.

Sci-fi

books are delightful.

And don't make me feel like the world is collapsing around me 24-7.

It's amazing how social media does that.

It's great.

It's a feature.

Yeah.

Actually, it is a feature.

It's a feature, not a bug.

And even, yeah, like you were saying, even though that might be true, I do still read news.

I just choose to go and read news and like consciously do it so that I'm aware of stuff.

But I'm not just scrolling on Twitter and being like, oh, look who said what.

Oh, God.

He said what?

If presidents hate this one trick while they have to read that.

Anywho, good for you, Wade.

Good job, buddy.

You should read that book.

Love that book.

People were impressed.

I forget if you're reading the one that you talked about, but people on the subreddit were pretty jazzed about some book that you mentioned.

The Winds of Something Wind.

Yeah, The Winds of Wind Something Wind.

The Wind Blows in the Castle.

The Name of the Wind.

I just started The Name of the Wind.

Yeah, that's the one.

That's what I was saying, basically.

People were pretty jazzed about that book.

People seem to think that's a good one.

I just started it.

I'm like two or three chapters in.

It does not read as fast as the Animorph books.

Turns out a book not made for someone who's 13 reads a little bit slower, but I'm enjoying it.

Good small talk, boys.

Well done, guys.

All right, let's pack it in that's everything i had for today and uh it's gonna be a little bit of a short one no we've decided to cut all of our episode times in a third which is gonna be released in five parts over the next three days look forward to that spamming your feed

this episode is brought to you by uber you know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most that's what uber is all about Like when Wade's house was flooding and falling to pieces all around him, and you showed up just when he needed you to so you could film it and exploit it for views on the internet no whatever it is big or small uber is on the way so you can be on yours uber on our way to your house wade

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Um, no, I have a, I have a, I don't think we've done this.

Now I'm, now I'm paranoid.

I don't think we've done this, but we're back on, we're back in the realm of we almost had a repeat because Mark's episode was the perfect crime, and previously we had done perfect crime.

They're totally different episode concepts, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to anyone online.

That was so funny because everyone on the subreddit was just like, oh, Mark's so embarrassed.

Oh, he messed up.

Oh, he did it finally.

And I'm like, I didn't even notice this.

I wasn't paying attention.

I go to the subreddit like, oh, he changed it at 2 a.m.

It's like,

you think I was up at 2 a.m.

looking at when this came out?

No.

Also, yeah, they're fundamentally, I don't even remember what the original perfect crime was about.

The original one was like, we just weren't describing how we would get away with crimes in like a completely make it up as you go.

Like, there was no structure.

It was just kind of bullshitting.

It was fun.

People, people were like, that's one of my favorite episodes.

And I was like, I have not thought about that episode in three and a half years.

I could see that.

Okay, I can see how people might think that that was similar, but no, also.

But honestly, your idea was different.

Like, not kind of different.

Straight up different.

Straight up a different idea.

It's like how we're no longer young is different than we're getting older.

I'm not as young as I was just now.

Oh, when we were younger than here in the present.

I don't know why.

I feel like I just heard Ethan's voice come out of your now.

Your mouth.

Oh, when we were younger than here.

But yeah, I have an idea, and we probably haven't done it.

What we're going to be doing is,

well, I will be honest, this is inspired by a wait episode, but we're going to be looking at groups of like characters, Greek gods, characters from movies, like the Avengers or the Fellowship of the Ring.

And we're going to be assigning, well, you are going to be assigning each of us to which character in those groups you think we best match up with.

Some of these groups we might not be completely familiar with.

And I will try and give you like summaries of who's in the groups and whatever.

But we haven't done this, right?

Not that I recall.

It doesn't seem familiar, but also I didn't catch exactly what we're supposed to do.

So for some reason, I was thinking about the Bear and Stain Bears when you said this, and I don't know why.

But I was like, I don't know Bear or Stain.

Wade's idea that I'm stealing was like remember we did like which dog breed is am i am you which which insect oh we did that it's called

small dog energy or whatever

this is like which of the avengers do you think each of us is and then you both sort of make your your choices and then I have choices and somehow that nets you points.

I mean, the points don't matter.

So I think that's important.

But we're just going to go.

And you guys, if you have specific groups you want to get to or you think that would be fun that i don't get to you can even recommend them it's that kind of thing but i have a whole list of groups that i want to and we'll start easy the avengers everybody knows the avengers marvel's avengers

who am we

of them and it can be off the cuff would you like a summary of who the avengers is no we all know we don't need a summary i mean it would be embarrassing if you needed that well hold on let me are we starting with the original cast?

Like the, you know, phase one Avengers?

Are we talking like the current?

Because I don't know who even is a part of it right now.

You know what?

It can be anyone.

I don't want to clamp this down too hard.

If you have people you like, they're obscure Avengers, they're new ones, whatever,

or if you want to stick to the original comic books, I'm open to it.

I just want to know what you think mostly of me.

I don't really care what you think of each other.

I get from you not current Mark Ruffalo Hulk, but Edward Norton Hulk.

The superior Hulk.

The superior Hulk, indeed.

Yes.

Absolutely.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Nice.

He's probably the best Hulk there's been.

Yeah, ever.

Can Mark Mark get some Doctor Strange vibes?

Oh, I thought it was just about Bob here.

No, no, well, we're it's all of us.

We're doing it.

You're doing us.

You're the one kissing up the Bob.

I'm the one playing the game.

Mark's trying to win, and Wade's just here to have fun.

Wade, which one, which Avengers

bald?

Oh, Nick Fury.

Oh, okay.

See, I was between me.

My first two thoughts were Thor because I'm like the pretty one

with the long, flowing blonde hair.

Yeah.

Or I was kind of like Hulk, but I was like, you know, I think maybe the Hulk fits Bob a bit more.

Like the quiet one who, like, whenever he does, finally rage and break is the scariest of us.

I like to view myself as a smart Hulk,

post-Civil War Hulk, but played by Edward Norton.

I like that combo.

All right.

I actually do have to pull up a list of the Avengers because I don't even remember.

It's been a while since I watched any of those.

I mean, you can do it.

Mark's got to have.

I get Doctor Strange or Tony Stark vibes.

Well, this says one of the founding members of the Avengers was Wasp.

Like Ant-Man Wasp?

Yeah, Ant-Man Wasp, right?

She joined in the...

relatively early, and I wouldn't say original OG in the movies.

Also, one of the founding members is Ant-Man slash Giant Man slash Yellow Jacket slash Goliath slash Wasp.

What the fuck does that mean?

Are those all the same people in some version of this?

I'll be talking in terms of movies because Wade don't know comics.

There's swordsmen, Wade.

You're swordsman.

All right.

There's just some hero named swordsman.

I just have a sword to fight with it.

Is that like Hawkeye, but with the sword?

He's like, he's like Hodor.

That's all he says.

People look at it, like, wait, what does that guy do?

And he's like, swords, man.

Swords, man.

Swordsman.

Swordsman.

Are any of of us Black Widow?

I wish.

I wish.

There's Black Knight.

There's Mantis, which is the one from Guardians.

Two gun kid.

Who wants to be the two gun kid?

I'm already Swordsman.

I can't use guns.

How many toes does he have?

Oh, man.

You find out.

Toes.

That's not on the Wikipedia.

I'm sorry.

Got to go to the Wikifoot.

Foot.

Fiki?

WikiFeet.

WikiFeet.

That's the one.

Could I pull off a Captain America just just because just the version of him that does like the terrible commercials where he sits on the chair?

Yes.

Oh, like old cap?

No, no, where he like sits on the chair like

going to war was a good idea.

So you think dropping atomic bombs on Japan was a mistake, huh?

Well, let me tell you.

So you think not using a turn signal makes you look cool?

Wiping?

That's for communists.

I remember when he said that.

All right, so I'm Edward Edward Norton Hulk.

Mark is Doctor Strange, and Wade is lame commercial Captain America, specifically, just that version.

Or swordsman.

Or swordsman.

I don't even.

I gotta look up who swordsman is.

Is the two-gun kid really

a thing?

That's a thing.

He's one of the earlier members.

1970s.

Oh, he's a recruit, not a founding member.

But he was recruited along with Black Widow, Mantis.

It's the two-gun kid, Beast, Moondragon.

I missed Moon.

moon hellcat.

I feel like there are some serious, uh, awesome heroes that they really missed out on the movie stuff.

With these, I did not expect to see Quicksilver or Hercules here, dude.

Hercules?

Does he sing?

Based on his biceps, it looks like he went the distance.

Mark, I think you kind of are a two-gun kid.

This description I have is he's a really unique case because while most Avengers are tech geniuses or aliens or super soldiers, the two-gun kid is basically just a really brave

cowboy.

And somehow that's enough.

I love that.

He's got two 22 pistols that are guaranteed to have bullets that stick to the barrel.

Oh, yeah.

22 LR is so naturally sticky.

Bang!

Oh, damn it.

Click, click, click.

I got my second gun here.

Bing!

Oh, shit.

Gotta have two.

Well, while you're firing the one one time, you're cleaning the other one.

So it's ready to go one more time.

Well, we solved it.

Great episode.

So those are our roles in the event.

I feel like I came out on top there.

I mean, Hulk is pretty awesome.

I feel like mine was the least connected to me.

Oh, come on, sword man.

Swordsman.

He's a cool mustache.

You have a cool mustache.

Yeah.

It looks like I do because the rest of my beard is disappearing before your eyes, but the mustache.

It's still a mustache, even though if you have other beard.

No, I'm just just saying it's pronounced because it's still dark.

Sometimes I look at my own face, and I've, I've, you know, I've had stubble for so long, but occasionally I'll notice just how defined my mustache is and how downturned, like handlebar style it is.

And so occasionally, I'm just like, wow, I actually do just straight up have a mustache.

I don't think about it, though.

Dude, if you ever go, if you ever want to transition back to clean shaven, or if you have to do that for whatever, you should definitely just go with mustache for a minute.

Just get down to to the mustache and see how that looks just for a minute.

I have with like shorter stubble mustache.

I should just grow all of it out and then get big bushy mustache.

Because the rest of it's pretty patchy, but this has always been solid up here.

I want to perfectly shave all of the gray beard out and just see the weird pattern of like dark that's left.

You get some gray dissolving fluid and it only leaves the dark hair.

Like it flashes a hair here and there.

It's like, oh, there's a dark one that's a keeper it's like gold member that's a keeper oh yes that's nice

when they're gonna make another one of those i don't know i've had a weird youtube's algorithm has decided that gold that austin powers is what i want in my life right now i've had a weird amount of austin powers recommendations in the last like two or three weeks yeah those recommendations are sticky as hell uh it just really latches on i don't know why but austin powers been all over my timeline lately maybe it's because mike myers is kind of like back a bit because he's been doing some SNL stuff.

I don't know, but like.

I just feel like those movies are kind of out of their era.

We should be.

Which Austin Powers character are we?

That is not on my list, but I'm into it.

Dr.

Bald.

Dr.

Bald?

And then Mark could be Mini Me.

Wait, that means I could also be Mr.

Beaglesworth, whatever the fuck his name was, the little cat, because he also loses his hair.

Yeah, any bald character you have claim over.

Dibs on anyone but Fat Bastard.

I can't do a Scottish accent.

That's the the only reason.

Well,

Mark does a great Scottish accent.

There we go.

That's your fit.

You're going to need to gain some weight, but it'll work.

And I got to look up a list of all Austin Powers characters.

Mark, you can be the femmbots.

I don't know.

I'll take it.

You're sticky 22 nipples.

I forgot about Fook Me.

Fook me and Fook You.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, it was different times back then.

I kind of want to be Basil.

I'm just like there and trying to be helpful, but really all I do is give you shitty coffee.

You know what I always forget about?

It comes back around.

Number two,

Young Number Two was played by Rob Lowe.

That's so funny.

I don't think that ever clicked in my head.

A lot of phagina.

I forgot about a lot of vagina.

Ooh, yeah,

Foxy Cleopatra, Beyonce's character.

I liked the gold member universe where it was like Tom Cruise and John Travolta and stuff playing the characters.

I'm from Holland.

Isn't that weird?

Different times, different times.

Wait, so who are we?

Are we committing to this?

I don't know.

I'll be a lot of vagina.

All right.

Wade, are you Dr.

Bald?

I think I'm less Doctor Evil and I'm more like his son Scotty, but it's like Seth Green's character, but only at the very end where he goes crazy and loses his hair.

I think I'm him whenever he finally loses his hair.

I can see that.

I'm Dutch, so I guess that makes me gold member.

There's an altoid box with some skin flakes in it.

Yeah, is that scabs or is that skin flakes?

What's the deal with that exactly?

Some things I don't like to think too deeply about, and this is one of them.

He ate them like potato chips.

Yeah, well, that's why he had the box.

He's trying really hard not to eat them like potato chips, but it's hard, you know?

Plus, when you age them in the box, just right.

A little bit of canola oil.

You okay, Mark?

Yeah, so I'm fine.

You know, when you just remember something from your past and you just cringe inwardly.

Yeah, I just had one of those.

Oh, well, how embarrassing.

High school.

Ugh, what a time.

All right.

New group.

New vibe.

Same us.

Toy Story gang.

Hoomst is Hoomst.

And the gang expands a lot.

My vision of it is always from the first movie, where it's like the core characters that live in Andy's room.

But you can include anyone.

Okay, Wade's Mr.

Potato Head.

That's obvious.

Yeah, yeah.

That or the T-Rex.

It could be ham.

Which one's ham?

Is ham the wiener dog?

The piggy bank.

Ham.

I want to be the wiener dog or the T-Rex, but I might be more ham or piggyback.

Well, and that's the one that's voiced by John Ratcliffe, right?

Who's in every Disney movie in existence or whatever?

You gotta friend Andy.

Not that guy.

Bob, you're Andy.

Wade, you're Andy's mom.

Why is Wade my mom?

Yeah.

He's older.

By like six months.

He's older.

I like that.

I like that.

It's good.

Simple, straight to the point.

Wait, does that make Mark the what's the kid that like tortures the toys?

Sid?

Sid.

Sid.

Yeah, I'll be Sid.

I'd be Sid.

I was going to say you were Buzz.

Yeah.

I forget that Slanky Dog was played by Jim Varney.

You remember Jim Varney?

Oh, yeah.

Not by name.

Malk?

Ernest seems 100% like a thing you would love and remember so fondly.

Oh, is that who that is?

Jim Varney is Ernest.

Yeah.

Okay.

I know the movie's Ernest.

Like, Ernest goes to camp and Ernest changes the trash or whatever, but I'm not.

Ernest gets a haircut.

Yeah, all that stuff.

I'm always lunky.

I'll be the wiener dog.

That honestly fits pretty good.

Yeah, it does.

If you want to know all the Ernest movies, it's Ernest goes to camp.

Ernest saves Christmas.

Ernest goes to jail.

Ernest scared stupid.

Ernest's greatest hits.

Ernest rides again.

Ernest goes to school.

Ernest goes to Africa.

Didn't know about that one.

And then...

Unfortunately, he passed away.

I can only imagine the kind of culturally sensitive and very appropriate jokes that are in the movie Ernest Goes to Africa.

Actually, I don't know that much about those movies.

I just have this vision of them making generally really off-colored jokes that wouldn't hold up.

Is that fair or is that unfair?

I have no idea.

It's also like in the same era when they made Jungle to Jungle or like Ace Ventura when Nature Calls.

There was this era of movies in the 90s where they were in...

Were Africa funny?

That for some reason, everyone

was like, hey, have you guys seen Africa?

Mark is Stinky Pete.

I'm changing my vote.

Stinky Feet?

Stinky Pete.

That's like the Prospector guy from like Toy Story 2.

The one that's voiced by the guy who plays Frasier.

What's his name?

Kelsey Grammer.

That's the guy.

Oh, here's some Ernest history for anyone that cares.

Ernest was in 10 movies, nine of which were Ernest movies.

And the full list that I didn't list was in order.

Goes to camp, safe Christmas, goes to jail, scared, stupid, rides again, goes to school.

Drunk?

No, slam dunk, Ernest.

Drunk.

Drunk Ernest.

Drunk Ernest goes to school.

I remember that one.

Goes to Africa.

Ernest in the Army was the last one before he passed away.

But he started off in an unnamed cameo in the movie Dr.

Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam.

Oh.

Gloombeam Riddle.

I remember that.

It's a classic riddle.

I love that movie.

Apparently, it's one of...

one of his disguises or something like that.

I have no idea.

I don't know.

That's about as well thought out and planned, pre-planned as some of the SNL movies that took place.

The image, if you look up the movie, Dr.

Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, like the cover art looks like a Jim Carrey face.

Oh, that is a Jim Carrey face.

Wait a minute now.

Like, I feel like without makeup, Jim Carrey could make that face.

Oh,

I was looking at a completely different thing.

Oh, were you the one where he's just sort of smiling real big?

No, yeah, I was looking at the film reel.

No, that's just a Jim Carrey face.

Did Did Jim Carrey rip that off from him or vice versa?

I don't know.

Also, could I just say that it only has a 5 out of 10 on IMDb, but the Google ratings for Dr.

Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam is 76% positive.

That's really something.

And that was almost a million-dollar film.

$800,000 to make Dr.

Otto.

Have you read the description of the movie?

I'm trying not to.

Okay, I won't read it out loud then.

Wait, what?

Hang on.

No, we should read that.

The first five words really got me.

Dr.

Otto grows a hand out of his head as he conjures a plan to take over the world.

Scott Sterling.

I'm sorry.

Lance Sterling attempts to capture the mad scientist who continuously evades capture with his appearance-altering device.

His first target is Cincinnati, Ohio!

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

What if Dr.

Otto's first target is Cincinnati, Ohio?

It all makes sense.

We would naturally be the first target.

Why does he have a hand on top of his head?

That's just what happens sometimes.

Oh, man.

All right, in that universe, I'm the hand.

I'd like to be the changing coffin.

He wasn't even shot in Cincinnati.

His first target was Cincinnati, but it was mainly shot in Tennessee.

Come on.

This is ridiculous.

Tennessee has about the same amount of letters as Cincinnati, probably.

Can I be laughing Jack O'Cockney, the pirate captain?

Is that a thing in the movie?

That's a thing in the movie, yeah.

Yeah, during his adventure, he goes to multiple different locations.

He goes on, like, this horror expedition, then this big fantasy expedition, and then finally, he goes on an adventure before he realizes that he wants all three things.

He has to return the books to the library before he goes back to his treehouse.

No, I think that's something else.

Yeah, no, you're wrong.

Oh, you're right.

That's Pagemaster.

I really like the credits for Dr.

Otto.

Jim Varney plays Dr.

Otto, Rudd, Laughing Jack, so on and so on.

Other people play Lance.

Jackie Welsh plays Doris.

and Glenn Patak plays Otto's head hand.

Does it have a voice line or something?

I'm assuming it's just a hand, it's like a practical hand on top of his head, and it does things.

Oh,

there's just a guy with his hand on Jim Vardy's head being all

on the hand.

I know, it's a tough performance.

How do you how do you convey emotions as a hand?

It's complicated.

Back to small talk moments that just came to mind.

Did you guys see Paul Rudd reprising the role of Paul Rudd for Super Nintendo Switch 2 or whatever the hell it's called?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Back when Super Nintendo came out, Paul Rudd, the actor, did the commercial and he's like playing the Super Nintendo.

He's got like long dark hair.

So the Switch 2 got announced and Paul Rudd's reprising his role in the commercial, but like 30 years later or whatever.

It's an interesting look for him.

One of those 90s looks that make us go, were the 90s good?

The 90s are an enigma.

Just a complete mystery.

I feel like in the 2000s, we referenced the 90s, but like nowadays, the 2000s, 2010s, I don't feel like they get referenced as much as the 90s.

Maybe it's just our generation or something, but like the 90s feels like a period of time that people talk about.

And then everything after is kind of like, eh, it's just.

I think even we've discussed why the 90s were just such a transformative time.

Not in like the greatest way ever.

Like it was so bastar.

It's just like so many things were happening all at once.

You know, internet was rising in popularity.

You know, TVs and video game consoles were all switching technology was like shift not just like evolving it was changing type every few years and then early 2000s when it started to like solidify in those commercials i'm paul red's necklace okay okay i just want to keep playing the game good job thank you for circling us back to the game the scooby-doo gang this is a much more uh defined cast of characters it can conclude it can include ancillary characters or villains if you know enough about scooby-doo to know any specific villains you like But who are we among the Scooby-Doo gang?

Tell me.

Shaggy, but like three months sober from whatever he's on.

Ooh, you?

Yeah.

From whatever he's on?

I could tell you what he's on.

More than Scooby Snacks, man.

Shaggy, but he's not cool anymore.

What are we just?

I mean, you have to be Fred, right, Mark?

I mean, why do I have to be Fred?

You're Fred.

You're the leader.

And you're the only one of us who could wear an ascot.

I want to be Velma.

Well, you got Velma because you got the glasses and you're wearing orange.

So yeah, you're basically.

Yeah, I'm Velma colored, basically.

Can we be a Scooby-Doo villain?

Can I be Minor 49er?

Wait.

Is that a specific villain that exists to I just really like the image that came up for Minor 49er?

Yeah, list of all monsters and villains in Scooby-Doo from the Scooby-Doo wiki.

Holy shit.

There's so many.

This show's gone on for decades in different formats and stuff.

Bob, I think you're Scooby.

I think you are Scooby-Doo, Bob.

Mummy of Anka.

Red Beard's Ghost.

Snow Ghost, Headless Spectre, Witch Doctor, Werewolf, Wax Phantom.

Sharkmen?

Sharkmen.

Sharkman.

Ghost of Bigfoot.

When did he die?

What a deep cut.

You're out in the Pacific Northwest.

You're like, man, I hope we see Bigfoot, you know?

And the ghost of Bigfoot walks by.

I want to be all of the Hex Girls.

What is that?

From the movie Scooby-Doo and the Something Island.

There's like a band of witches called the Hex Girls.

And their song is like, We're the hex girls.

Oh, I remember them, yeah.

That was one of the Scooby-Doo movies that was like on TV a lot.

The thousand-volt ghost,

spooky.

It's weird because I see some of these pictures of these monsters, and I'm like, oh, weird.

I remember exactly that episode.

That's crazy.

The Beast of Bottomless Lake.

Oh, dude, Scooby-Doo was some awesome shit to grow up with.

And the episodes were so short that they just wham, wham.

Yeah.

That was like the binging format pre-streamer days.

But when those like half-length episodes where it would just play into each other, into each other, you could watch them endlessly because it felt like it never ended.

How many episodes had the bit where they were running through hallways and like opening doors and coming out in places that didn't make sense?

I mean, every single one, wasn't it?

Wasn't there always some version of the chase scene bit where the music plays and they're running in and out of some setup of doors and shenanigans.

And they're chasing the monster, the monster's chasing them, they're chasing each other, and the monster's watching.

And yeah, it's got to be a slapstick chase scene, or it's not a Scooby-Doo episode.

There's tons of comics about it.

I didn't even know that.

I say Bob is Scooby, Mark is Fred or Daphne, and I guess I'll be.

No, he's Velma.

Black has glasses.

And orange.

And huge tits.

Dude,

so much porn is made about me, I have to be Velma.

When people cosplay me, it's always so, so sexy.

The only the thing i think of when i think of velma is there's a 3d printing company uh i forget who it is but they do promotions that are just them printing out like the most hyper sexualized figures possible and the one that stands out to me in my mind is their their version of velma i don't even know if they made it but they printed it i guess it's better than busty scooby or something but

busty scooby

the word i don't care for that i don't care that you said that out loud and now i thank God I have a Fantasia.

God, you can't look up anything about Velma.

The internet has completely destroyed.

I just looked up 3D printed Velma, and it's just, man, I can't share my screen.

I'm sorry, guys.

I just can't.

You're right.

You can't.

You don't have to go to images.

It's just the main tab.

No, I get it.

I get why I'm Velma now.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

Is 3D printed Scooby safe?

He's just like lifting the fur.

Stop sexualizing Scooby.

Sorry.

Let's go back to Dugat the Velma.

Did we solve the mystery?

Yeah, we solved it.

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We're agreeing pretty readily on these.

I'm surprised.

I thought there'd be more debate.

This is one I don't know if we're all going to have the same level of knowledge on, but I think we do.

Overwatch, the video game, Overwatch.

Cast of it's a hero shooter, cast of characters.

Wade's Doomfist.

You know why?

Bald!

Wait, hold on.

Does that make Mark the

guy who hears the music of the universe?

Gravity douchebag.

Isn't he also bald?

No, he has hair.

Gravity douchebag.

I don't know any of the newer characters.

Mark's going to be Torbjorn.

Thank you.

Because short?

No, the beard.

Oh, I forgot he was also really short.

That's just a coincidence.

Cause engineer.

Ah.

Ah, yeah.

Okay.

So we got Anna, Ash, Baptiste, Bastion.

There's so many more than I remember there being.

There are a lot.

It's like almost double from the

original group.

The new ones that I don't recognize are Sigma.

Sigma's the guy I was talking about.

Gravity douchebag.

Orisa.

Moira, I've seen.

Echo, I don't know.

Ash, I think I've seen.

Bridget, I don't know.

Baptiste, I don't know.

Bridget is actually Torbjord's daughter.

She has a she's kind of like a Reinhardt mini.

She has a smaller shield and she has a flaily mace thing, but she's kind of like a supporty tanky.

Yeah, she's listed as a healer, but that's interesting.

Bob, are you junk?

Are you junk ratty?

Because you like to build things?

Like, you build your own stuff?

I build my own stuff?

Yeah, you're into like the woodworking and printing and all that stuff now.

I feel like junk rat's the kind of guy who makes his own things, whereas everyone else kind of like probably gets them on hero bay or something.

I could see that.

it's not like the junk rat character fits you but it's more so just the vibe of like i make my own shit no i'm very much not the character but i i could see what you're getting at oh wait there's even more that i was not even close that was an older list yeah there's there's a whole there's new overwatch 2 specific ones junker queen mauga wrecking ball i've seen the hamster what the hell sojourn Who are you people?

Venture?

Who are you people?

I actually don't know Venture at all.

I have stopped paying attention to this game before Venture came out.

I could also be Soldier 76 because old.

Yeah, because he's the old guy.

That's generally...

I'm not your father.

I remember that was one of his lines.

I think people were making fun of the whole, like, he's daddy.

Because he's daddy.

That's right.

I used to call him Daddy76.

There was a whole thing between him and Reaper.

Was Reaper the one?

Because, like, Reaper was like the hot young guy, and Soldier 76 was like the mature daddy guy.

Reaper's not young.

There were cutscenes where Soldier and Reaper were young together early on in the early days of

the thing, but I don't know.

That's probably wrong.

The Lauren Overwatch, I don't remember.

They changed McCree's name.

I don't remember who he is now.

Cassidy, apparently.

That's strange.

Why is he changed?

He was named for a person who worked at Blizzard.

who turned out, I think, to be a creep.

He was named for a real life person who turned out to, I forget exactly, but it might have been sexual allegations or something happened where the person McCree was originally named for, they were just kind of like, ah, never mind.

He's somebody else.

That sounds correct.

I could see Mark as being May.

She's like the ice girl.

Oh, because she's Asian.

I get it.

Yeah, obviously, but also

she's a tinkerer.

She has like her little robot buddy.

She's like, she tinkers.

She has a server farm.

There's a very long May-specific cutscene where she's alone in an isolated base in the Arctic.

And she hacks the tech.

Everything's broken.

And she wakes up from cryo sleep.

And she hacks the tech and then climbs up onto the antenna in a blizzard.

And

she's like a technological.

tinkerer.

May definitely has a server farm somewhere that she uses for her.

Okay, all right.

That's fair.

That's fair.

I want to be Widowmaker.

I remember she had very pronounced ass cheeks for whatever reason.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got that.

Well, it was more her stance.

She had like

severe.

It's not spina bifida.

I say that way too much, but it's severe.

What is it called when

your hips are rotate?

Anterior tilt.

Anterior.

That sounds like a thing.

I think it's called sexualized game ass.

Anterior pelvic tilt.

Also known as the oversexualized game ass.

Yeah.

Anterior pelvic tilt.

She has severe anterior pelvic tilt.

Zinyata just like chilled out and juggled balls.

Zinatta's cool.

I actually made Zinyata when I played that game still.

It doesn't really matter because Overwatch is basically dead because the Overwatch 2 came out and it's all stinky, stinky.

But I will close this tab and never reopen it.

Goodbye, Overwatch characters.

Stinky Overwatch.

I played a lot of that game.

That was the game we played with Mandy's family for a long time.

And then Overwatch 2 came out and it went from 6v6 to 5v5.

And we were like, well, and then just never touched it ever again.

Why'd it go to 5v5?

Because it's hard to get six people together, but when you have a game out for years and everyone gets used to playing 6v6, then you have your six-person group that you always play Overwatch with, and then suddenly one of you is no longer invited.

It's fucking awful.

5v5 is like the standard in like popular, especially competitive shooters.

5v5 is like the standard, right?

Counter-Strike's always been 5v5.

Rainbow Six Siege is 5v5.

Like most team games is 5v5.

It's very common.

Which is strange because it's got six right in the name.

That's true.

Rainbow 5 Siege does sound really stupid, though.

What about Rainbow 5 and a half?

How do you get a half person?

What's a half person?

You just cut them.

You don't really need your legs to play, so you just cut them at the belly button.

You keep the top half.

What if you cut down the middle?

Would it just be...

Two functional halves of a person if you cut them long ways.

Is that your idea?

Yeah, I guess so.

It's called the bicameral mind.

Or what if you keep the middle intact, but then you like cut shoulder and then a certain amount of leg?

It's like a gerrymandered voting district in American politics.

You just cut random shapes out of a person until they're split.

Cut to keep all the useful parts on one side and the less useful parts on the other.

One side is just a part that can shit into a toilet and the other side gets everything else that's useful, but somehow it's 50-50.

You guys know Game of Thrones?

Oh, yeah.

I know some of the characters.

I don't know it.

Do you know the characters enough that you could say which ones we are?

No, but that makes it more fun.

Dibs on not Hodor.

I don't think the names are going to help you because I just did that and I'm looking at the names.

I'm like, I don't know any of these guys.

You could have said you don't know Game of Thrones.

We could.

It's fine.

No, no, no.

This is going to be good.

People are going to love it.

Mark, you could be Viscerus Targaryen.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, Viserius Targaryen.

Viseris Targaryen.

Jeez.

It's like the main family in the show.

You can't pronounce it.

They say it all the time.

What is it, Targaryen?

Targaryen.

The Targaryens were, that's a pretty important name of anyone in the show.

Wade, you're Grand Maister Paisel.

And that's, he's old, but it's not an insult because he's

faking being old.

That's really good.

He pretends to be dumb, but everyone knows he's actually

competent and smart.

He uses it as a smokescreen.

That's you.

100%.

There's a really good deleted scene between Tywin Lannister and Paisel, where they're on the beach, and Tywin is straight up just like, why the fuck you lie about that?

What?

Just talk to me like you're normal.

And Paisel is just like, well, okay.

And they just have a conversation.

It's a really good scene.

I see why they deleted it.

It was interesting and developed the characters.

We can't have that.

Bob, you are the hound.

Ooh, I'll take that.

That's good.

That's a good one.

I don't know if Good is an accurate enough description, but he's a very interesting character.

His honestly is kind of a shit arc in the whole thing, but he does some.

He has a big he is one of the characters that has a big transformation and goes through a lot of shit.

It's really, he has a really good storyline.

Or your

what was his name?

It was the free folk guy with the big beard, really like the tall woman.

Oh, um, what was his name?

Ra

Rar.

Hang on,

oh, what was his name?

What was his name?

Torment.

I like big women.

Introduce me to the tall woman.

You don't know women, Jon Snow.

Remember that classic line?

I know Game of Thrones stuff.

Yeah, everybody knows Game of Thrones, clearly.

Ignore season eight, Jon Snow.

That's what the people are saying.

I wonder if I was a dub of the show where instead of winter's coming, they just say, season eight's coming.

I like to think that that was like a bit on set.

I like the name Greyjoy.

Oh, the Grey Greyjoys.

They're a hard-to-like set of characters.

Yeah, but their name's just like an Oxymoron.

Because you think of Grey as like the Meh Days Out Sogs.

It's like, oh, it's cloudy.

It's a gray day.

But you have to compare that with Joy, and it's kind of like...

What's his name?

Liara?

Not his name, her name.

Liara Greyjoy.

Is that one of the characters?

She's cool.

She's a good character.

That's not on my list, I don't think.

I see Euron Greyjoy and Theon Greyjoy.

Euron and Theon.

Well, Theon doesn't suck.

Euron sucks.

Wait, that list.

No, they have a sister.

I mean, I believe you.

Just the list of the cast I have is like a lot of the characters, but I don't see that.

All right, wait is Paisle.

I am the hound.

Who's Mark?

I kind of want to make him John Aaron because he's upside down, but no, I said Viscerus Targarian.

Mark is the guy who dies before.

No, John Aaron's the guy, the hand of the king, who dies before the show begins.

John Aaron dies.

That's why Baratheon goes north to get Stark to be the new end of the king.

Mark is the guy who dies in the prologue.

You know, why not?

Why not?

It's one of those castings where it's like, they're like, Mark Fishbach is in this production, but it's like just to kill him right away to pay him like $15 to show up.

John Aaron was said to have been one of the best men.

He was a great guy.

He was so good that everyone hated him and he got murdered because he was too good.

Okay, Wade, I know who you are.

Okay.

You got to follow me on this one.

You are Woon Weg Wundar Woon.

Huh?

You alright?

Woon-weg, woon-darwoon.

It's the giant, the giant that was with them.

Ooh, the bald giant?

Yeah, the bald giant.

You remember?

You couldn't see his baldness because you were looking up at him, you know.

I've typed Game of Thrones by the G-O-T Giants, and it's just like, got giants.

And I was like, why am I not finding what I'm looking for?

Got giants?

Yeah, he lived, he lived at Hard Home before Jon Snow came, and they saved some of those people, but not very many of them.

Commonly referred to by the other free folk as one-won.

That's a good one.

I like that.

I like the giants for Wade in general because I feel like they, everyone has an impression of the Giants in Game of Thrones is that they're kind of like, like Paisel.

Like, everyone thinks they're really simple and stupid, and they're just like big, dumb giant, but they're actually more interesting and nuanced than that.

Maester Lewin and Lord Ferris are bald.

Did you look up list of bald gamutro characters?

No, I just saw them and then they

win Lannister looks old.

Yeah, he's pretty old.

He has a gray beard.

What about Rob Stark?

He looks heroic.

Can I be him?

Oh, well.

Yeah, sure, why not?

He's probably bald after he gets his head cut off.

Doesn't everyone die in this show?

Isn't that the whole gimmick of this show?

Is everyone has sex and dies?

A lot of them die.

Yes.

That describes human history, though.

No one died quite as fast as Mark did, though.

That's for sure.

All right.

Well,

we've done a lot.

There was, well, there were a few more I was really interested in, but we can call it there.

Anyway, points.

In no particular order.

Wade, you got points for Dunce number.

The last of the least of E.

What the fuck did I write?

Something about Easter.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

Lame Captain America, Fast Looker-Upper, Paul Rudd's Necklace, Busty Scoob, and John Aaron.

Busty Scoob is probably the worst thing I said.

Mark, you got points for Dun Number, which is a thing I said.

I'll take it.

So much time saved.

Kissing My Ass.

The two gun kid.

He's older.

The ghost of Bigfoot.

The anterior pelvic tilt.

And

Wade as Grandmeister Paisel.

I got a a point for Wade.

You didn't Wade in that way.

You him in the other way in the normal.

Like, I know, maybe bleep those words, editors.

I don't know.

Now that I know what I know about the people who watch and listen to this podcast.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Great.

Now I can't even Google myself without seeing me busty in 3D printed.

And I get a point for Busty Wade now being a thing on the internet.

I will share the screen and we will do the wheels of destiny.

Woohoo!

What are you adding?

I'm adding best mental image.

Wait, which one was the best mental image of the day?

I mean, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but it was probably definitely Busty Scoob.

I don't know if that's the best.

No, he's right.

He's right.

Depends what you mean by best, but I'm pretty sure we can all agree it was probably Busty Scoob.

All right, here you go.

How many bonus points will there be?

Oh, mystical wheel of bonus points.

Oh, please give us a good one.

Okay.

Two bonus points.

Oh, mystical wheel of bonus points.

And tell us the answer.

Who gets what and why.

Most self-sabotage.

Did we have any of that today?

We were on our A-game here.

I don't know if there's really either of you that clearly did have like a self-sabotage or not.

It's interesting because this is the one where we weren't.

trying to fight for ourselves.

We were fighting for each other's ideas or to label each other's sisters.

Yeah, some idiot came up with an episode idea that had a lot of teamwork in it do we agree for a re-roll do we want to just re-roll that it would be hard to pick this one yeah all right let's re-roll

most

callbacks we've talked about busty scoob a lot i don't think i called him back you guys called him back more than i did do we give credit to the person who created the callback thing or did the callbacks that's a question Who called back Busty Scoob the most?

I feel like Wade gets credit for that.

Really don't want to be tied to Busty Scoop.

Wait, so honestly, wait, if I'm going to say who did the most callbacks, every round, Wade at least once picked a character for himself because Bald.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm going to say Bald is a definite

callback from Wade.

And one more spin.

Points.

Points for listeners.

Damn.

I was really excited when the first one wasn't listeners.

If you were like, oh, maybe this is the one.

Shit.

Am I allowed to say the word and do the coin thing?

I don't think so.

If I get the one-man show, can I then challenge it and do a coin flip?

And then each of you has to do a one-man show.

All right, fuck.

All right.

Final result is Mark has eight points, Wade has eight points, and the listeners have one point.

This seems very fair.

What if we used it right now to stop Bob from turning it on us?

I'm not going to.

He's not going to turn it on us.

That's what I think.

That's a really, it's a really big chunk.

Also, I should probably make it so that I'm not one of the winners, I guess.

There we go.

Whoa, no, no, wait a minute.

Oh, hey, listen.

It's good.

It's good.

No, I don't like that very much.

72.

Let's stick with 72.

Jesus Christ.

For anyone who's not watching, I changed the names on the wheel and it went to three equal parts.

It's got a lot of ties.

The wheels have added a lot of ties to this.

Yeah, well, the wheels have made it really hard to make sure you manufacture dodging the tie.

It's so awesome.

I'm glad we did that to us.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Okay.

The wheel has spoken.

The wheel is spoken.

It didn't even slow down.

It was just like,

nope.

Yeah, this isn't as dramatic a wheel.

Wait, I won.

Yeah, you won.

With nine points.

That seems like a lot of ways.

Wait, look how many Wade wins.

What is that about?

This wheel is incredibly fair.

There are no bombs.

So that's true.

I love this wheel.

All right, and that was a 20%.

So next time is 22% for the poor sucker who accidentally ends in a tie.

Oh, for no reason whatsoever.

One of you is starting with a 10-point lead next time, my host.

FYI, I have to go to a meeting in two minutes.

Yeah, Mark, quick, loser speech.

So I,

you know, it's all fair.

i don't know who i am all i know is that i'm leaving this episode knowing with horror that someone's going to make busty scoop and that is a tragedy that all of us will have to bear the sins weigh heavy on us all and mostly wade yeah it's definitely wade's fault good speech sorry mark uh wade winner speech you win nothing jon snow I love this wheel.

Great episode.

Can't wait for the next one.

But I'll have to come up with a topic for.

Oh, and Mark, you could duck out whatever you need to because I don't need you for the rest of this.

Thank you so much for watching and or listening to this show.

This has been yet another episode of somebody's favorite podcast.

I don't know who the fuck that person is, but honestly, I don't really care.

And make sure you follow the podcast.

Follow it on whatever platform you watch on.

Don't forget we have video on Spotify and on YouTube, but you can listen to this podcast on all the other places where podcasts go.

And if you follow it, you'll always get a notification when new shows come out.

It's every Monday and Friday.

But just in case, you know, you want to remember, make sure you follow Mark and Mark Player, Wade Lord, Minion777, or Minion 777.

Me at MySkirm.

Huh?

I forgot to...

Oh,

goodbye.

We'll see you in the next one where Wade will be hosting because the wheel is always fair.

There's nothing more fair than a wheel.

That's what I always say.

That's all.

We're out of here.

Have a great life.

Love you.

Podcast out.