Animal Noises Too

Good evening, gentle listeners and watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode: Mania Mark the Balmy Baker demands brain work from the boys for finding fauna fanfares.

Brunching Bob builds an illicit empire, emulates bird bass, noses Gavia Imma, and Tyler's Termination.

Wombling Wade marvels at the man without fear, endures shitstorms, slaps hard, and screams.

From effusive eyeballing to outraged ortariana.

It's time for

animal noises too.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hi, welcome back to Distractible.

I'm so glad you're here.

It's so good to see you.

I hope you're ready for a lot of eye contact and a lot of ear contact from your favorite host, Markiplier.

That's That's M-A-R-K-I-P-L-I-E-R.

You okay, man?

People have been misspelling your name or something recently.

I'm great.

Oh, that sounds believable.

What are you looking at as you say that?

You?

I'm looking right at you.

Why are we down there?

I don't know.

Why are you down there?

Hang on, let me move.

Let me move you.

It's a little unsettling when you're like, I'm fine.

Can't you tell by the way I look at you?

I'm fine.

I'm so good.

You sound fine.

Guys, I want you to rate the sanity of the snack that I'm eating for lunch.

It's a tortilla.

Zero.

That I'm tearing into chunks and then scooping little bits of cream cheese with and then rolling up into little cream cheese rolls.

Give you a cannoli point.

You want some?

You're also going to get the...

Oh man, you're also on the wheel for the eating the most.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Tough challenge.

Tough challenge.

So this is Distractible.

You found the right place.

You've chosen us versus any other podcast out there.

Maybe you were scrolling Spotify and you were just like, hey, I've never seen this one before.

Why don't I give it a try?

And here you are.

And boy, howdy, you don't know what you're in for.

This is a game show where I judge the performance of my friends, Bob and Wade here.

I, I'm one of those two people.

And the only reason I'm here to judge them, because last episode, I won by a clear, sweeping, sweeping, almost tiebreaker victory.

And so now I get to subject these two to my whims.

And my first whims is to tell you something that I should have talked about in the last episode of Small Talk because it's something that I did.

But Bob, you reminded me of something that I did.

This has nothing to do with the episode.

And this only has something that I'm proud of.

I made bread.

Oh, successfully?

Homemade bread's really good.

I had we were out of bread, and I really wanted to make Nutella on toast, which is just toasting bread and putting Nutella on it.

So of course, instead of going to the store and buying bread, I was like, making bread can't be that hard.

And it turns out, usually when you say that, cosmically, it means it will be the most arduous thing you've ever done in your life.

But in reality, because we had bread, flour, and yeast already, so long as you have those things, you can pretty much make bread.

You could even do it with like, I never remember if it's baking powder or baking soda.

You want soda, I think.

Baking powder, baking soda in your nose.

No, wait, hold on.

I'm sure I remember the scary movie cocaine quote.

I don't remember it.

All right.

Movie.

Joke.

That was almost a point there, Wade, but I could have gotten it.

But yeah, no, I made bread.

So you made like a sandwich loaf?

Did you put like a little honey in it or something?

What direction?

No, it was a sweeter bread.

I found a recipe.

You know, there's recipes online where...

You click there and then you have to scroll through a million pages to get to the

actual recipe.

Did you put the butt crack in the middle?

I did not.

No, I didn't.

Why does bread have a butt crack well i i could have but you know i accidentally made too much see i split the recipe in two for every ingredient except the the liquid that's in there so every dry ingredient was perfectly halved and i was like perfect and i it was either water or milk and i chose milk because i have this like higher protein milk and i was like god it'll have a little extra protein in it and i boiled two cups but then i decided to have everything else so i was like perfect everything was halved i did the math right i double checked it dumped the whole two cups in there guess i'm making more bread.

So I rehalved all the other ingredients.

And then I made a ton of bread and I proved it in

the oven at like 85 degrees.

It's like 80 to 85 to 90.

You can prove it in there.

And I should have let it go tiny bit longer.

It was almost perfect, but it needed to prove just a bit more.

But I made it and it was great.

It tasted delicious.

It was really good.

I couldn't believe it.

I made bread.

How long did it take to make it?

It took probably the mixing, It took about, you know, 20, 25 minutes to get all the ingredients measured out and make a mistake and then fix it.

Proving it took about maybe like an hour.

I probably should have let it go for a little longer than that, like hour 15.

That's in a heated drawer.

Bake it for 30 minutes and it was done.

Did you bug it in a pan, in a loaf pan, or just like on a big oven?

I've had a loaf pan for meatloaf for a while, but it's small.

So I made the rest in like this casserole dish.

Both turned out fine.

Each of them were perfect.

it just I took out one sooner than the other, and it was great.

I never made bread, and it worked perfectly.

I'm flabbergasted, you can just make bread.

I have also done that, and it's always surprising when you do it, and then it turns out, and it's bread, and you're like, oh, I've also fucked up some breads really good, so it is possible to fuck them up real good.

But Fikasha, or is that what the flatbread with like dimples are?

Oh, that's one of the ones I've had a lot of success on.

Those are really good.

I've never tried to make it, but Amy's tried to make it, and her success rate is a little iffy.

I mean, okay, okay, not a little iffy, that's putting it into question, but she's had a few failures where it just does not do anything.

I thought you were saying a little iffy, that's a little bit too generous.

She's never succeeded once in her life.

I don't want to call out Amy, but she cannot make a bread to save her.

Okay, no, but there is something to say: Amy cannot cook grilled cheese.

What?

Huh?

She's great cook, great, like rest, knows a ton of recipes, can make a ton of things.

For some reason, cannot make grilled cheese.

Like the outside burns before the cheese is cheesed or something?

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, well, that's

got to turn that temperature down a little bit.

Welcome to the show where we criticize Amy's cooking, everyone.

I'm going to really pile on.

Get ready, Amy.

I know you watch these.

Did you guys know I ran a grilled cheese empire in college?

I feel like I should know that.

It was after we lived together.

It was a Synfonia thing.

Were you still in a dorm?

No, I lived off campus.

It was.

Okay, because you with an oven just in your dorm making, or I guess a stove is what I mean to make grilled cheese for everyone.

It's kind of nuts sounding.

Mark did that.

Not that.

But Mark made food in the dorm a couple of times.

I remember that.

I made food like two times.

A microwave?

Or I was only allowed to have like a microwave in the dorm.

No, there was a little kitchenette.

There was a little kitchenette in the dorm.

And no one used it.

I was a Symphonian, find me off a Symphonia.

It's a music fraternity.

And I was in, we sold grilled cheese every Wednesday at lunch in the in CCM in the big, I don't know, entry, whatever the fuck it's called, atrium.

And I was in charge of that for like two years.

And I took it from a thing where it was like the night before one of the dudes would go to Kroger and get some bread and some country crock and some cheese, and they would sell it to where I had like a journal of like I kept accounting and I kept and we did specials where I got special bread and special cheese and you could get a dollar for a plain grilled cheese or like a few bucks for like a fancy grilled cheese.

We added tomato soup at some point.

That was a big seller.

You could add on a little cup of tomato soup for 50 cents with your grilled cheat.

It was a whole thing.

I turned that bitch into a profitable enterprise.

I was going, I was buying eight, 10 loaves of bread, the whole like gallon of country crock,

piles of cheese, all this stuff.

It was a whole thing.

It was a veritable fixture of CCM.

I hope that down there, the traditions continue and it's like a Michelin star grilled cheese restaurant now.

Yeah, well, they really tried to kill it off.

When I took it over, we used to do it in like the entry, the atrium entryway of CCM, which was like this big open space.

It was really cool.

There's just a counter there, and we just plugged in an electric criddle.

And they were like, oh, you can't do that.

Like after the first year,

some new administrator in CCM was like, you can't do that.

You can't do that.

And so we found like another space that was like...

Way the hell in the back hall somewhere in the secret speakeasy where we served illegal grilled cheeses.

I think to serve food, there's no permits or anything required.

You're just allowed to sell food.

Is that true?

It wasn't like a for-profit business.

Didn't you start this off by saying you made it profitable?

I made it profitable, but it was for, it was for,

it was for Synfonia, which is maybe, I think, was maybe a non-profit, if I remember, I'm not 100% sure about that.

I heard profitable empire is what I heard.

And an empire is not a business.

I made a profitable endeavor, but the profits were not shared.

Hey, I'm with you, but I think telling you to do it is probably illegal advice because I imagine there are some regulations with selling food.

That said, I love the idea and I'm on your side of doing it anyway.

I mean, I'm pretty sure that there's a distinction between like setting up a restaurant and like kids are allowed to have lemonade stands on the side of the road.

I'm not saying this is exactly the same thing, but there's something in between you're not allowed to ever sell any food and you have to be a licensed, regulated, health-inspected restaurant where it's like you're allowed to sell like a lemonade stand or like cookies.

We weren't like an operating restaurant.

We were like one day a week, somebody's cooked some grilled cheeses and we charged a nominal fee so that we could like cover our expenses.

No, I'm with you.

We made like 40 cents a grilled cheese or something.

And on the expensive ones, we made a much better margin.

But that was that was just savvy business.

I just want to know where that, when the distinction, like when do you have to?

They let us do it.

They knew we were doing it.

They just didn't let us do it in the really, really, really good location that that kind of put a damper on the things.

The man really dragged us down.

Yeah, I can see that.

I'm sorry for that.

Wade, entertain me.

Sure, sure.

Okay, all right.

I think that's great.

Oh, what's new?

What's new?

We did that thing for Daredevil, but I actually started watching it, and I was very sad that all of it wasn't out because I wanted to keep binging.

I was really enjoying it.

Good show so far.

And I still want to go back and re-watch the old one.

I read one of those articles that kind of like recaps the original so that way it prepares you for this one.

But I started watching and I'm pretty into it.

Hell yeah.

It's the first time I've binged a show in like two years.

I have not watched a lot of shows.

I've been missing a lot of the different Marvel things and whatnot because I just haven't made time to watch it.

But I was like, you know, for this one, I will.

And I started watching it and it's pretty good.

Well, that's good.

I haven't had time to watch any show, obviously, but that's the same story I've been telling for ages now.

for about two years.

But someday I'm going to watch so much stuff.

I'm going to do so much little.

Since City Weather, on the other hand, is a bitch.

The days I can't go outside and enjoy it, it's beautiful.

Weekend, I was like, ah, I've got this whole weekend to enjoy being outside.

Rainy, biggest wind we've had since like last fall, thunderstorms, puddles, poo,

everything.

Terrible.

Pooh, poo, raining from the sky.

What happened?

It didn't do that up here.

We only live half an hour apart.

Maybe it was the dogs, but it was just the poo everywhere.

And I thought it was from the clouds, deer, rabbit, I don't know, wolf, I mean, elephant, something pooped all over the yard.

Yeah, definitely elephant.

It's pretty nice outside right now.

You should.

I'm in this chair all day today.

All right, I'll get off my old man rocking soapbox.

Wade yells at Cloud.

Hey, come back tomorrow.

This episode is brought to you by Walmart.

I'm a busy guy.

I don't have time to grocery shop.

I'm always busy, but more importantly, I'm very lazy.

I like to have things delivered because it's convenient.

Meat.

What else people buy?

You can choose the date and the time.

You never feel more powerful.

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Welcome to your Walmart.

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In the era of sequels, this is another one.

Oh.

Weird part four.

This is going to be another cerebral episode.

You're going to need to use your brain.

you're going to need to use whatever form of imagination you have or are capable of.

Well, okay, calm down.

And you need to use your ability at horticultury etymology, entomology or etymology.

Can I look up etymology?

Am I allowed to look that up?

Etymology.

Anyway, you're going to need to use some kind of scientific department.

I'm going to flip a coin to decide who's going to go first.

Ed Bob, Wade Tails.

Heads.

Bob, that's me, baby.

Bob, what's new in the area of horticulture?

Oh, I'm about to tell you, Bob.

Open up your ears.

Okay.

What plant makes that noise?

Is it horticulture gardening?

Am I crazy?

All right.

So I'm guessing when and why Wade makes that noise.

Yes, please.

Give me that.

That's the sound Wade makes when he's been in the pool for about an hour and a half and someone outside the pool opens the lid to the grill and says, burgers are ready?

And Wade goes.

That's really good.

All right.

Okay.

When it's summer season and Molly's wearing her sundress.

Makes family gatherings super awkward when Molly wears sundresses.

So, Bob, can you tell me what animal that is?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Almost there.

This is part of the process.

That is a pug.

No.

Not a pug.

Now, Wade, it's your turn, and I'm going to give you a clue that I didn't give Bob.

This is one we had in the last episode.

Oh, I disqualified that one because.

Oh,

I should have given you that chance.

But, Wade,

no, no, no.

Fair is fair.

I will not own this.

I know this one.

I don't know this one, but it sounds like a pig or a boar, so I'm going to go with a boar.

That's not what it was.

You guys think I remember what happened last episode?

You are crazy.

I have the worst memory of all of us combined subtractually memory.

All right.

Bob, do you know what this is?

I think I do.

That was the koala, right?

Yes.

All right.

We did a koala last time.

Are you sure?

Yeah, we did.

I remember because it sounded like that, and that was all.

That's a koala this time.

Yeah, and here, there's a bonus that

I don't know if you guys will be able to hear it,

but I have videos now.

Oh, wow.

I can tell an animal by seeing it.

Well, just so it proves what it is.

I bet James could beat you at telling animals by seeing them.

He probably probably could.

I bet he could.

That's a koala.

It is a koala, yeah.

To the listeners, it says koala on the video.

I don't like his mouth.

I'm not a fan of that mouth shape.

Nope, don't like that.

That's not pleasant.

All right, so Bob gets a point for the sound.

I get a point for the visual, right?

No.

So what we're going to do, actually, is

before.

The way it worked is we did identifying the animal.

If you couldn't get it, or if someone did get it, the next part was who could imitate it the most.

Well, I already made the sound, so I get a point for that, right?

Well, we're going to disqualify this one because we had it last time, and also I remember this one hurt you guys's voices a lot, so I don't think we need to do that one again.

These next ones, though, like last time, I have not heard these.

Okay, so we listen, then we have to replicate the sound.

And guess what it is?

No, we listen.

Guess what it is?

The next part of it is who can make the sound the best.

God, okay.

All right, Wade, this is your new sound.

So fuck.

Oh my god.

I know this one.

Okay.

That's getting angry.

No, no, no, no.

This is a baby howler monkey after the teeth is pulled from its mouth and it's not done eating yet.

No.

You fool!

Okay, yeah.

You're right.

All right, okay.

That was not close.

I'll give you that one.

Bob, what is this animal?

I'm pretty sure that's the opening to an Event 7 Fold song, but

no, that's definitely a

mule.

No.

Oh.

Would you like to see the video?

This is a Tasmanian devil.

I've heard what Taz sounds like, and it's not that.

Kind of terrifying.

So no one gets the point for that, but there is a point on the table for this imitation.

Wade, you're back up.

God.

I mean, not dissimilar.

The snort, I think, really helped you there.

That was not bad.

There's like a, I don't know if it's the sound.

There is like a snorty noise they make at the beginning of that video, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, absolutely.

Didn't feel good.

Bob?

Oh, sure.

No, that's just that was just extreme sleep apnea for someone in the middle of the night.

It's really hard to snort and then make a scream noise right through it because it's like two opposite takes of air.

Yeah, I don't think I could do that either.

I'm going to give that one to Wade.

He is Tasmania.

Devil in the sheets, Tasmanian in the sheets.

In the teats.

Gotcha.

All right, Bob, this is your animal.

What the fuck?

This is actually an old Morgan three-wheeled.

It's the original car.

It's a one-cylinder engine trying to start.

No, wait, I know this one.

I'm Gilbert Gottfried.

I know this one.

It's like

88 BPM.

Man, that's.

Is that macaque?

Is that a macaque?

You know, that's not a bad guess.

Um, but honestly, I can't even remember what this animal is when I look at the name.

So, macaque is a good, is a good

guess if I knew at all what this was supposed to be.

Because looking at the name, I'm just like, I know this name, have never attached it to an actual animal.

So, if that's a clue, Wade, now here is one more time.

Can I get it down low?

That would make a hard sound to use in a beat, like producers out there.

Yeah, so I forget the name of this animal, but I will describe it and you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

But this is not a crocodile or an alligator.

It's the longer, more needle-nosed one during sex.

I'm sorry, I don't think there's a third.

I don't think there's a third kind of those.

I think it's alligators or crocodiles.

Maybe it falls under one of those, but it's like the really long, needly-nosed one.

It's a, I think, yeah, that's a crocodile type, I believe.

It might be called a needle-nosed crocodile for all I know.

Those are really good for taking outlets out of the wall.

You know, I'm not going to give you an animal name.

I'm just confident that I'm close enough that it'll win.

Uh, no, a gharial or a gavial?

Maybe.

I don't know,

yeah.

A species of crocodile known for its exceptionally long and slender snout.

Okay, then it is a crocodile type, but not your standard.

Both of you did not get it, and prepare to be shocked at what the hell this is.

Oh,

I would not have guessed that's what those sound like.

Yeah, me neither.

Also, this video is terrifying.

He's just chilling.

If that was in the middle of the woods at night, just I saw eyes.

Listeners, imagine something terrifying making that noise that we will not describe in any more detail.

All right?

Except for the fact that it's a bird with a blue face and a red.

It's a cassowary.

Everybody knows what a cassowary is.

If I remember cassowaries, they're also assholes and will kill you.

Unless that's an emu.

I think a lot of the big birds are kind of a-holes.

Anyway, no one got the point for that, but honestly, how would anyone ever?

I mean, this,

but there is a point possibility for imitating that.

So, Bob, you are up for the bonus point.

All right, yeah.

Here, do I have to make the sound with my own voice, or can I use uh tools?

I'll allow a tool, sure.

All right, I have to move my mic for this, but here we go.

I don't like the facial expression, but the sound was pretty good.

Was that your dick, man?

What was that?

I'm not going to share it unless I win.

Then I'll share.

All right.

That was really close.

Honestly,

that sounded

pretty good.

It's good because I broke the thing I was using to make that sound.

Do I have to compete at this point?

Because I'm not going to get closer than that.

You can always throw, but I encourage you.

Hey, you never know until you try.

I couldn't get the suction because I started laughing.

Don't laugh, you're gonna mess me up.

Ort, ort, ort.

That's better.

That's what I was trying to do, but I started laughing, so it just came out or whatever the fuck it was.

I heard or ordered.

stop laughing.

Because I'm trying to picture a human doing that fucking bird face.

It's either you fail miserably or you give the audience some ammo that they never should have had.

My thing was just this 3D printed cup koozie scraping back and forth on the desk.

I fucked up.

I started delaminating layers off of it by jamming it in my desk too hard.

Well, it got you a point, so I think it can't be that big of a loss.

Yep.

Worth it.

Why don't you try the

all right?

Alright, Wade, open your ears.

I think I know this one.

I know this one!

I know this one!

Every time I hear that sentence, I think of him.

Oh, it's uh

European swallow.

No.

That's what your mother did to me last night, Trebek.

Damn you, Connery.

I think this is.

Yeah.

I think that's a loon.

That is, in fact, a loon.

Oh, goddamn, man.

Yeah, good luck making that noise.

And here's the video of the loon, just so you all know what this is.

It's a bird.

No, there are a lot of loons.

That's a common Ohio wildlife sound.

They have old babies riding around on them.

That's funny.

That was

At least, I guess, bird.

It's like a goose disguised as the Doppler effect.

Yeah.

All right, anyway, so Bob, you got the point for what it is, but Wade, you have a chance if you can imitate this animal.

What doesn't he have to imitate first?

Why do I have to do it first?

Because you went first, you guess.

I went first last time.

It's not bad.

That was pretty good.

I think that was better than I could probably do.

All right, Bob.

Pretty good.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

Ah, man.

Hmm.

This is a toss-up.

I think the addition of the hand component of it got it acoustically closer.

I would have to agree.

Yeah, I want the point, but I'd have to agree.

I think Bob beat me on that one.

I last time I failed so miserably, I've been secretly practicing animal noises quite a lot in my free time.

You got one of those pole chord speaking spell animal sound thing.

The loon goes,

yes,

I do.

Every day, I got it for James.

The cow goes, no, James, we're getting the loon one.

Next up, Bob, you're first.

I think I know this one, too.

Oh, yes, the AR-15.

What the fuck?

What the hell?

It's a...

No, no, yeah.

I think I know what that is.

I think that's a...

Is that a magpie?

No, unfortunately, it's not.

I think I still know what it is.

I think I just don't know what what it's called because I could see.

I could see this bad boy.

It's obviously the

African hissing cockroach.

A damn fine guess, but a damn wrong guess.

I think it is actually an African animal.

Okay, Bob, because I had to pull up what it was, I will give you half a point if you can describe what this thing looks like.

Okay, I'm seeing it's a bird.

And it's like a black bird, and it has kind of a big, like, curvy, downy beak.

And when it's doing this, it's just sitting there with its mouth open, just like,

but it's making all these crazy ass noises.

It's not quite.

I mean, it's close, but

when it's making the sound, that's like the differentiation.

I'll let Wade also chime in on this because here is this animal, and I am unsure if this is actually going to make the sound in the video.

I can't see how, but here we go.

Oh,

oh,

It's clacking.

I see it.

Yeah, I see it.

I see it.

Damn, that's loud.

That's so loud.

That's terrifying.

I mean, he got tall bird, right?

No, that's not the animal I was thinking.

I was thinking it was mimicking like human sounds, like it was mimicking like forestry.

Because there are birds that can like mimic whatever sound they hear, right?

That's, I've actually seen a shoebill before.

They're loud as fuck.

This is a bird that has seen war and is mimicking war.

Oh, hold on.

I gotta play with my time.

It's so big.

Can I vote we don't try to mimic that sound?

Because I'll break my teeth.

Well, don't do that.

My mouth hurts.

If you feel like you have to, I can't stop you, but I don't suggest it.

Pops first.

All right.

I don't know if this is going to hang on.

Oh, did we ever say out loud that's a shoe bill?

That's a shoe bill.

I said that we're a shoe bill.

Yep.

Okay, this isn't 100% what I'm hoping for, but here we go.

Ready?

Yeah.

That's great.

That's actually pretty close.

Wade, you have to use your teeth.

I used my teeth.

Come on.

You play it one, play it one more time.

Yeah, yeah, I get you.

I think that was closer.

That was pretty good.

It had the right resonance to it.

What's on your desk?

That was my armrests.

And also, at one point, one of them fully just went down, even though it shouldn't, without pressing the button.

So I'm a little concerned.

Yeah, well, they're probably designed to withstand that.

Also, ow, my hands hurt.

Better than your teeth.

Wade, you are now guessing.

First, here is

your

animal.

I know this one.

This is a parrot that sits in the kitchen and hears when the microwave is done.

No, no, no.

One more time.

One more time.

Okay.

Wait, I think I know this.

I might know this.

Really?

I'm optimistic.

I have a guess.

And Wade has no chance.

I do not.

This is obviously a lemur that found a storage of helium.

Honestly, I can't say that it's not that, but it's not that in this case.

I feel less confident now.

I'm going to go with my guest that I thought of that I got really excited about.

Is this a prairie dog?

You are so close.

No,

I'm going to throw this up to debate because I think that what this is is often confused for that to the point where I'm almost certain that they probably sound the same.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's similar to at least to what what the sound prairie dogs make, but this

is

a

marmot.

Oh,

I believe this is very closely related to a prairie dog.

Oh, look at that little thing scream.

Yeah, no, it's hilarious because

it looks like a prairie dog, if you don't know, for the listeners.

They open their mouth like they're screaming when they make this noise.

They really do.

They're all.

I did a quick Google and I'm finding, yes, marmots and prairie dogs are fairly related.

They both belong to the Scyridae family, which includes squirrels, grouse squirrels.

However, they belong to different lemurs?

Different genera.

Marmota for marmots and Sinomies for prairie dogs.

They share similarities.

They're rodents.

They live in burrows, but they're different sizes and different habitats.

It's really close.

Damn, that's close.

Hey, you know, lemur is closer than I would have liked to think, too.

I thought I was going to say that, and you were going to be like, it's a bat.

And it's like, not even close.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

So now that we've definitely heard it a million times, who can mimic this?

Okay, yeah, I mean, I got this.

I'm sorry, we got a truck backing up over here.

If any of you can get up to this pitch, I'd be shocked.

All right, can you play it again?

I want the pitch.

I want to match it.

Can we harmonize?

I'm

fucking turning into the Matrix over here.

I gotta be honest, I was just gonna whistle.

Yeah.

But that's not the same quality.

It honestly sounds like his normal speaking voice is a lot lower.

And he was like, chat, chat, chat, chat.

Look.

Look how high I can sing.

Do we both lose a point on that?

Yeah, that's a toss-up between the two of you.

I don't think any of you got close enough for me to.

Not for us

burly men that we are with with our deep rich voices.

All right, great episode, man.

Nope.

I have so many more.

Great.

All right.

Bob.

Excuse me.

Wait, I know this one.

I know this one.

This is actually, it's misleading because it's edited.

That is cut three minutes into a video that started with Tyler laughing,

and then if you it progresses, it progresses.

And if you drop, if you drop the needle three-ish minutes in, that's actually the sound of Tyler almost dying from laughing.

I mean, not a bad guess, not a bad guess.

Can I guess an actual animal?

Yeah, sure.

It's definitely

a turtle trying to climb up onto a slightly too high step.

Close, but no.

Wade, this is clearly a mountain goat that just ate a hot pepper.

No, unfortunately.

Damn it!

All right, so the truth is a lot less interesting.

Oh, it's a probiscus.

A probus monkey.

How is that less interesting?

Look at the way that thing flops around.

Well, I'll give bonus for flopping if one of you can perform the flopping as you do this.

Bob?

I don't know if I have anything that's going to help me on this one.

I'm just going to have to do it.

Is that what it sounded like?

I don't think so.

Ah, that's close.

That's pretty close.

Yeah, yeah, kind of, yeah.

Wade.

All right, points for flopping?

Oh, God, please.

No.

What happened to you through the beginning to the end of that?

Body spasms?

He was trying to flop.

Oh, I am flopping.

I am flopping below the desk.

I want you to know there is flop.

I feel like it could have just been heh, hey, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, if you have a deep voice.

Hey, hey, ha.

I feel like there's an extra quality to it that I I think we were trying to add that maybe isn't even there.

Yeah, there's a little rumbling.

It sounds like you're pushing the buttons on a speaking spell really aggressively, and it's like trying to talk, but it's like getting cut off.

It also feels like there's a little bit of a tap in the voice that I think I was going for gravelly, but maybe that's not.

Like a teeth chat.

There's something else.

There's like a teeth chat.

There's like another noise behind it.

There's like one, but it's tiny.

I think it's it's honestly just that it's kind of resonant and the audio is really clippy because it's trying to cut out background noise.

With your burping in my like gravely, I thought we were on the right track.

Maybe, maybe we were crazy.

I gotta give it for the effort to the burps.

All right,

and I'll give Wade half a point for flopping because it wasn't on screen, but I believe you.

You should.

It was much smaller than that monkey's nose, but the effort was there.

Oh, interesting.

All right, Wade.

Well, that's adorable.

I know this one.

This is the sound you make after you eat Skyline Chili and you're on your first date and you go to the movies afterward and you're really trying to conceal it, but you gotta let one out.

Okay, I'll accept that.

It's not right, but I accept that.

Okay, also,

this is the sound of a baby blue jay.

No, unfortunately.

Red Jay.

No, Bob.

That's definitely the sound of a baby meerkat.

No.

It wasn't a baby anything, actually.

It was, in fact, full-grown hippo.

It was a frog.

Why is he a ball frog?

What happened to him?

I think it's angry and it's like all puffed up and trying to intimidate.

He just got out of a tennis match.

He signed up to play tennis and found out he was going to be the ball and was really upset about it.

All right.

Who's going to imitate that?

Or should we just skip this one because it's so hot to us?

Oh, no, no, no.

We got this.

Do I get to go first?

Sorry, that was kind of an experiment.

No, it was Wade.

I can't do any of those things.

So.

Try to do the jaw.

What are they doing?

What's happening?

Just keep going.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

I was puffing up and I was moving my mouth.

I love it.

I love it.

Ow.

All right.

There we go.

Hang on.

I just had it.

Hang on.

All right.

That's not working.

That really hurts.

Don't like that noise.

I'd like found the sweet spot for a second, but I had my mic muted.

All right.

I'll give this one to Wade.

That is a desert rain frog for anyone who really wants a specific.

Oh, we only have time for a couple more, and I have many, many more.

That's terrible.

That's terrible, man.

Pick a number one through five.

Four.

That is a

howler monkey.

That's the distinctive howl of the howler monkey.

Ah, yes.

Howler monkey, known for its 120 decibel screech, hearable from three miles away.

Well, it's a microphone.

It's, you know, it's humans can barely comprehend its technical and decibels.

Yes, true.

Very true, Bob.

Wait.

Oh, it's a

Australian mini antelope.

I'm going to look that animal up.

If that's not real, I'm going to deduct a point from you.

How dare you make up animals here?

I hope it's a real animal.

It came up as an animal,

thank you.

What adorable mini antelope?

Wait, wait, what the fuck?

Were you right?

There is no native species of antelope in Australia, however, there have been instances of non-native antelopes being introduced to certain regions, yeah, just like the camels and other things.

Yeah, was that the right noise?

It's not the right answer.

No, this one is much less uh inspiring.

This is simply a

lemur.

Dude, I literally guessed lemur like three guesses ago.

Why are lemurs less inspiring?

They're so cool.

It looks a little bit like this is the lemur who became the joker in the lemur universe.

I don't know why his lipstick is so bold, but it's a lot.

Yeah, for those who are listening only,

this

lemur is just.

Do you want to know how I got these scars?

It's just truly, it's truly beautiful.

All right, who can imitate that?

Oh, Bob, you're first, I think.

Oh, okay.

You're up.

Yep, I got this.

That last one was spot-on pitch, I think.

That was exactly right.

That's pretty high for me.

I'm trying.

Man, that was

so close.

Thank you.

Oh, man, that was, it was, oh, man, how do I decide?

Uh, Bob, congratulations, you're the loon.

Or, no, the lemur.

God.

All right, last one, Wade.

Really thought I had that one.

God.

That's your first one.

Yeah, that's iconic.

And of course.

Okay, the first one is the sound whenever I'm talking to my mom on the phone and she keeps going too long.

The last one is if I had a dad, the same thing.

I'll give you a point if you can name any of those.

That's a howler monkey not screaming, but shredding thick paper.

Mom,

laughing Kookabura.

Howler monkey.

Dad.

God damn, you got one.

Kookabura.

What about mom?

Mom was right.

Mom, not in there.

Mom, come on out.

Come on out, mom.

No, you got it.

Kookabura.

That's this one.

That's an iconic one.

Yeah, it is.

Bob, you have three to grab from.

You have.

That's one.

It's a power washer.

That's actually the

Owen Wilson Anteater.

Fucking God.

It's just like the peanuts, like adults talking.

The first one is

pass.

The second one is

a snake.

Do I have to be more specific than that?

Nope.

Wow, that's only one kind of snake.

I should have just said bird this whole time, man.

And the third one is

that guy who sings that song.

It was all

I have no fucking idea.

It's a big

pig.

No, it's not a pig.

That's not what pigs sound like.

I got nothing.

So the first one is, of course, well, not the first one.

I don't remember what order I showed it to you.

But a kiwi.

Oh, ward.

Oh, that's the ripping paper noise.

The other one was a willow ptarmigan.

Mom?

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

And then.

That's not a normal sea lion sound.

How do we have to imitate these?

You can pick your favorite.

Pick your favorite from any of those.

All right.

That's pretty good.

That's not bad.

I want to do the kookaburra and then I realized I can't.

Very good.

Bob.

Well, it's unfortunate that we both selected the same one to attempt.

So let's see how this goes.

Can I hear it again?

All I can hear is Wade.

Okay, okay, yeah, got it, got it.

Oh, fucking God.

Holy shit.

Hang on.

Wrong register.

Oh, man.

That doesn't work like I thought it would at all.

You can shift to the Ptarmigan.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

I don't know why, but the Ptarmigan has big Ethan vibes.

In a way I cannot explain at all.

No, I understand perfectly.

All right.

Way to get that.

You're a sea lion.

Way to go.

And that brings us to a close on the scoring round.

I really thought that was going to work differently in my throat.

I'm still thinking that my frog impression was the best one.

It was, and that's why you got a point for it.

I don't think I did.

All right, wait.

You got points for being entertaining.

Pooh Storm is Tasmanian Devil.

You are the shoebill.

I have a half a flopping point.

You are the desert rain frog.

You guessed Kookaburra, and you are a sea lion.

Woohoo.

Well done.

Bob, you got a point for cannoli.

Illegal grilled cheese.

Wade burgers.

Wade in the pool and the burgers.

Right.

Right.

You guessed koala.

You did a Cassowary Great.

You guessed the loon.

You are the loon.

You are

Probuscus.

Penis Monkey?

Penis Monkey, yes.

And then is Lemur.

So that was afterwards.

So you got probuskis Monkey and Lemur.

Both of you did admirably in performing your animal, being that you got four points apiece for getting that.

Bob, you guessed one more animal than Wade.

Seven and a half for Wade.

17, 9 for Bob.

All right.

So we cannot tie.

Oh, there is no way for it to be a tie.

Half points are the savings.

Half points are the new meta.

We're all going to be like, oh, someone earns half a point.

That should, No, Mark, you should add that to the wheel, though.

Like, it is unlikely to affect anything ever, but just one that's like half a point because fuck you.

Half a point because it just goes to whichever player doesn't have half a point.

Right, right.

Okay, right.

How about, oh, man, I would love to add two to the wheel, like half a point for Bob and half a point for Wade.

Wait, where am I then?

If the wheel doesn't get a good thing.

That's great.

Cool with that.

That's fun.

That's fun.

Yeah, I think Bob and I both agree.

We could add two.

All right, put it on.

This guy gets two slices of the wheel, but you know, we'll let it slide this once.

I really want to ask.

I don't know if at the most I can do this, but I don't think you can't.

I'm confused what would even happen if you succeeded, but I'd love to know.

Yeah, let's find out.

All right.

I'm declaring unfair because I should have one of those.

There should be one for me.

But if it gets declared not double fair, one more for each of us.

You can

another

God, I fucking hope some tails come up.

So if Mark wins, we all get one or just him?

No, if Mark wins, he also gets one so that each of us has one.

If it's all tails, you and I get two and Mark still has zero.

Okay.

Here we go.

Oh no.

Is that Tails?

No, mine's heads.

Oh, God.

Mine is the lady, and traditionally the lion or whatever the fuck this is has been my Tails.

Oh, so close.

Anyway, would you like me to roll your D3 or would you like to do that?

Yeah, let me see what we got here.

Roll D3.

I'm losing by two right now.

It's nine to seven and a half.

You're down one and a half.

All right, here we go.

Three.

Oh,

so you're saying there's a chance.

One point for the viewers, one point for the listeners, and one point for Wade.

Let's do this.

Oh, hang on.

For no particular reason, I'm just going to grab this mushroom.

Oh, interesting.

Didn't I eat like an entire tortilla at the start of this episode?

He did, yeah.

Fuck.

Like,

I get what you're going for, but didn't I pretty much capture that already?

Damn it!

I ate this delicious toco room for nothing.

I click it a bunch, make sure.

One

loudest.

If it helps my case at all, uh, upstairs people texted me during the middle of that episode and said, Are you okay?

I'm always so loud, I don't get those messages anymore, but I beat the fuck out of my chair.

That is true, that's true.

I don't know.

This one might be a tie.

We were both pretty.

This was tough.

We both were pretty loud this episode.

It was kind of the point of the episode.

So I feel like, yeah, you both had plenty of opportunities to be the loudest.

I'm trying to remember if there was any moment where one would have been louder than the other.

Do we respin on a tie or just nix it or both, or what do we do?

Like, what if there is just a tie?

I mean, host host discretion.

I don't know.

I think if it is a tie, I just flip a coin and I'll go from there.

Because if it's even Stevens, you guys can't figure out who was loudest, and I can't either.

I think it just has to be up to chance.

I genuinely don't know.

I know there were moments where Bob was really loud, and there were moments where I was really loud.

Or actually, let's just pass it by.

If it doesn't qualify, let's just pass it by.

Do three after this.

Respin number one.

Doesn't seem to like when I click it a bunch.

Wait, that's still you.

Yeah, Talas.

All right.

So you're saying there's no chance.

Yeah, I'm out of the running now.

And we already used the coin, so I can't even fight it.

Do

well.

I swear.

What is with this wheel?

Point for viewers.

Point for viewers.

Boo!

It's even, it's even.

I haven't adjusted the chances or anything.

It's all just each one isn't even.

I don't understand.

Oh, you know what?

We'll need a different wheel anyway because this one only goes up to 20.

Oh, shit.

There's a maximum.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, we'll change it over because I feel like the RNG in this one is a little too predictable.

Third spin.

Viewers get a point.

Oh,

the viewers get another point.

Technically, yeah.

All right, two points for the viewers.

And that closes it up.

Three wheels and they all fucked me.

So with Wade, seven and a half points, the all three points, all four wheel spins worked against you.

Not a single one went in your favor.

So congratulations for

not getting anywhere.

Bob, congratulations, your big win.

10 points.

What do you have to say for yourself?

That's another one of the highest point totals I've ever earned for Mark.

I knew I was going to beat Wade, but I feel pretty accomplished that I did well in Mark's size too.

That's really the main thing I'm looking for in life.

And it really just fills you with pride to know you do something well.

Right, Wade?

Is this my time?

Yeah, I kind of was like going off of Bob Hammond.

Fuck the animal kingdom.

Thank God for choco rooms.

What in the.

You heard it from Wade.

Fuck animals, eat chocolate.

No, I know what choco rooms are, just the way that you ate that one was.

I was angry.

I was angry eating.

Let me get chalky milk from upstairs.

Well, congratulations, boys.

Thank you for your good efforts, Bob.

All that training paid off from the last episode.

Well done.

And thank you, everybody, for listening at home.

And thank you, everybody, for watching at home.

I feel like everyone got an equal experience.

It's not all about the listeners or the watchers.

We each get something.

Right?

Right.

Be sure to check out the subreddit where we got all the memes and you'll see a lot of copies of Wade's face from the last episodes.

I apologize for that.

I am not going to be deleting any of those.

I will be reinstating any posts that other moderators delete.

It will just be Wade's face.

Can I just say shout out to people that are listening to the, not listening, but they have subtitles on, and they're trying to figure out which one of us was the closest based on subtitles and just movement.

That's fair.

All right.

Be sure to follow the podcast to be notified whenever a new one comes up.

We're also on YouTube in case you were wondering, but video is on Spotify and YouTube now.

Thank you.

We will see you in the next episode whenever it comes.

Podcast out.