What The Hell Is That?

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Good evening, gentle listeners, all watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode, Bear Bob busts on Wade and gets screwed over by customer services.

Then the Triumvirate explore etymology.

Wotan Wade does Lucas Rilm, gobbles, licks ass, and creates countless catchy compounds.

Marketplace Mark finds corporate incompetence inexplicable, trips on Torpor, digs elder scrolls, and gets righteously hammered.

From crustadia to defenestration.

Yeah,

it's time for.

What the Hell is That?

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of what I can only assume is your 34th favorite podcast.

That's right, it's distractible.

Well, by now, maybe we've moved up to one, but we all know where we were on that list, so.

Those were the good old days up at 34.

I'm sure by now Mr.

Rogane is withering in spot number six or seven at least.

Welcome back.

I'm your host.

My name is Bob.

This is a show where, as the host, I give out points, and the points declare a winner.

Except there's other things that happen, like wheels that spin, and who knows.

And then whoever wins this hosts the next one.

Competing to host the next one, and or competing to be the loser of the episode.

Please welcome the two other people who are always and only ever the ones who are here.

Mark and Wade.

Hello.

I'm imagining a lot of like a crust stadium full of people cheering for my really poorly worded introduction.

Anyway, what's up, guys?

I have a game for today, but before we do that, it's a small talk.

A crustadium, eh?

A crustadium?

A crust?

That's what you said.

You said crustadium.

Crustadium?

It's either a stadium full of crabs or it's really gross.

I'm sick, but I'm in a good mood, so I'm going to give whoever, every time someone calls me out for saying something stupid or whatever, you get a point for that.

You say fasting something stupid?

I don't know.

Did I?

I'm pretty sure.

I don't think he did, actually.

I don't think he did.

Roll it back.

Every time someone calls me out for saying something stupid or...

Wow, he didn't.

Wait, what was it that I didn't said?

Fa saying?

Fastaying?

Yeah, who cares?

Listen, I say stupid all the time.

I understand that language.

How are your stupid lives, you stupid guys?

All right, this is a little hostile.

Man, I appreciate that.

That's pretty straightforward.

Directing to the point.

I'm licking your ass right there.

Kissing your ass.

Oh, all right.

That's an ass licking point right there.

Wade, don't forget I know where you live.

I'm going to come collect on that in a little bit.

Oh, yes, you do.

I'll get the paddles out.

Wade, whenever you get embarrassed, you get even redder.

No, look at this.

Oh, maybe he just went for a drive in his non-existent car in between episodes.

i need to tan up a bit before this episode i

will sometimes wonder how any company is in business when i ask a question about a product and no one can answer it at all i got a something off ebay a dell computer it was a great price for weather because i was looking at it i was like oh i don't want it because i want a new editing workstation and yada yada i got this and so i have some problems with it because it's secondhand and it's missing some parts.

So I'm trying to get the parts and trying to figure out how they work together.

So I ask Dell, I go to their customer server thing, I type in, I'm doing a live chat.

I haven't called them yet, but I've done a live chat.

And I'm explaining, like, hey, this is your computer.

This one here, 7960 tower workstation.

This is your computer, right?

Can you tell me?

where I can get or if I can get the parts to have more NVMe drive bays because I think this thing could have four or eight, four in the front, four in the back.

And they're like, I don't think we sell that workstation.

And then you said to Adele, never mind, I will find another PC like you.

Yeah, maybe.

No, actually, no, no, no, get out of here.

Get out of here.

Okay.

Get out of here.

You're not judged.

I don't have to pander to you.

Get out of here.

I'll remember this.

No, legitimately, that was what they said.

They said, I don't think we sell that model.

I'm on the page with it.

I copy and paste the link to them and be like, oh, this must be new.

Like, what do you mean?

I get that you sell a lot of different things, but you don't sell that many different types of computers.

How do you not know?

And so I know this is going to go down a bad path, but I ask, like, okay,

at the very least, you must have the system to look this up, right?

Can you look up, like, is there part numbers that you can give me?

Because I couldn't find anything on the store.

And I've heard other people on Reddit that you have to ask customer service for parts.

And it's just like, I'm looking in the system.

I'm not seeing anything for that model.

I don't think we sell that model again

after I linked him the page to the model of the computer that they sell.

And so I'm, I'm, I just, I, I, I

look at these things and I have this experience with customer service and everyone's had this experience, but it's getting so much worse.

And I, I just can't help but think like, man, Dell, you could be making so much more money if you trained your salespeople or get a good sales staff.

Or let's be honest, most people call and they're like, the battery's gotten low.

I don't know what to do about that.

And you're calling, you're like, listen, if you had the little technical jargon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I could have a double helix modifier to my super connector.

What the fuck?

And it's exactly.

They're like, a real question?

We don't get those.

It's different departments, though.

Like, there's customer service.

Again, that's a pain in the ass.

But sales should be, their whole thing is they should be making sales, right?

And I would go to this and I'd be like, I am here ready to buy.

I want the parts.

Give me the parts.

I know you sell spare parts.

Give me the parts.

I'll pay.

We don't have a spare parts department.

You could buy a second laptop and take it apart, but that would void the warranty.

I don't think we sell computers actually now that we're talking about it.

Do you can I interest you in some donuts or Dell donuts?

Yes, I don't know.

It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Dell's nuts.

I feel like there just is some gap in the training where somehow these people are here to answer questions, but in a way that I don't think anyone at the company actually keeps track of what they're doing.

I don't know how they're doing these metrics, but they're, they're not testing their people well enough.

They're not teaching their people well enough.

I feel like they're capable of doing the job.

It's just like, I feel like someone's dropping the ball on the training.

Because if you don't even know the model of computer that you're selling,

what is going on?

And I still, at the end of the chat, the surveys, I always do like top.

It's not even that complicated either.

I never worked in sales like that, but like the, the response is never, oh, I don't think we sell that.

The response is, oh, let me look.

You don't even have to know.

You have to be willing and capable to be like, ah, interesting.

Let me put that into my system here and see what I can.

Them immediately just cutting you off with.

I don't think we sell that.

It's like really fucking confusing.

I know what happened.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Do you know what looks like Dell?

Del E with a capital I.

I think you called customer support for the wrong company and you were talking to a deli's customer support.

They had meats and breads and maybe some eggs, but they didn't know anything about those computer models.

We can only hope that that's what happened.

I don't know if I want to yes-and you.

My instincts say I should yes-and that, but I'm like.

You know, you know it to be true.

Search your feelings, Mark.

Yes.

And then a bunch of meat showed up at my door.

Oh!

Sorry, my real laugh came out again.

Anyway, so it's just, it's just annoying.

I mean, it's my fault for, well, maybe it's not my fault because I got a great deal on eBay for this thing.

But it's just like, if it's missing parts and I can't get the parts, it's kind of difficult to

work it.

Guess you shouldn't have bought a computer that doesn't exist.

You're right.

The mythical computer that doesn't exist.

I think I may have talked about this, and this is not the exact same problem that you have, but I do also think this problem you're running into is partially like corporate, I don't know what the word for it would be.

I don't know, corporate, corporate creep, corporate, the thing that happens with companies.

Cause we had this experience.

I was trying to buy a very specific Linux laptop thing for a very specific purpose.

And it's like a, it's from a small company, relatively small company.

It's a unique thing.

And it's like a big, it's relatively expensive purchase.

And so I went through their website and just ordered and put my credit card in.

And they came back and not my credit card.

Their website was like, hey, this looks fraudulent to us.

We're going to send you to our third-party fraud monitoring company, which I, they like sent an email that was like, we're going to send you another email.

Look out for that email.

We're going to send you another email that's going to have a code in it.

You go to the link in the second email.

And then, like, one of those emails didn't exist.

And I ended up just calling.

And the guy, literally, I was, I called and the guy on the phone and I was like, here's my order number.

Yeah, I'm just trying to like buy this.

But I got this third-party fraud thing from you guys and he just goes oh yeah oh god okay listen we've been we've been trying to get rid of that for a while now we're kind of stuck in a contract and like it that it's a whole thing uh i can just we'll just go around that okay i can on my end i can like put in the system and you'll have to just submit the order again but then we'll do and it was this whole thing where the guy clearly knew that this was an issue but i and i did exactly what he wanted and we hung up the phone and i was like okay he gave me all this info.

I'm going to put the order back in and do exactly what he said.

And I did it.

And then, like, the next day, I got all the same shit again from the third-party fraud thing and all this stuff.

He didn't do anything.

It was a thing.

It was a known issue.

And still, the customer service guy was like, all right, do all this specific shit and leave a note and blah, blah, blah and then like nothing.

And I was like, all right, I guess I'm buying this from someone else.

Like, whatever

shouldn't be this hard.

I like to imagine the fraud company called him and they're like hey it looks like this guy's trying to go around our uh our thing that we have the protection we have and he's like oh god yeah it does look like that you know what i can handle this you know i'm just gonna let it yeah and it gave him your info back was like yeah here it is i found it but like part of that's not his fault because i don't know what happened but the third party they were engaged with for was super sketchy it was literally like i bought something from one website and an unrelated website sent me an email that was like give us a picture of your id and your credit card information so we can confirm you want to buy this And I was like, no, the fuck, I am not sending that to you, company I've never heard of.

You can always trust wearenthfraud.com.

Yeah.

And the email is like, oh, we saw you're trying to buy a computer or some shit.

Just give us all of your info and we'll confirm.

What?

What kind of weird, sketchy scam?

Apparently, it's a real thing, but it's weird.

You can always trust your Saudi Arabian uncle.com to make sure that your protection is valid.

Anyway, I think you kind of said it, but I don't necessarily blame the people even.

I don't think they're idiots.

I think they understand, but but like the company didn't train them properly.

The company has these other systems in place that like prevent them from just like doing a simple thing and converting a sale from a person who wants to buy a thing and knows exactly what they want.

And I would think like maybe it was an AI chat bot that I was talking to, but it didn't seem it that way because it didn't have like this really polite cadence who was talking like, you know, not proper capitalization stuff.

So, but it might have been, and it might have just been hallucinating.

Like, we don't have that.

But I feel like they should have some metric, right?

Or maybe I'm stupid.

I didn't go to business school where it's like you're looking at your sales team at least and be like, this sales employee that we pay this salary is helping us gain this many sales.

Therefore, we know that this salesperson is meeting at least their value, bringing that into the company, right?

Isn't that how sales should work?

I don't know.

Generally, I think that is how it works.

But,

you know, you have like quotas or something you're supposed to meet or whatever.

I don't know.

Anyway, they don't want your money, Mark.

Uh, you should buy a real computer if you want to buy stuff from them.

Not a fake one.

Yeah, that was my that was my problem.

Not an imaginary made-up computer.

What happened to building your own?

I built plenty of my own, but uh, when you get more.

I've built so many.

Bar!

The reason that I did is because there's a specific Intel processor that I can't find cheaper on its own.

And the cheapest way that I could get it was already integrated into a system.

And it came with like half a terabyte of RAM.

I got a great deal on this system off eBay.

Go to eBay.

Don't take my deals.

Don't go to eBay.

Fuck you.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

They're mine.

Fuck off from eBay.

Or you could always pay more.

Yeah.

But

the reason I got that Intel versus like AMD is because of Thunderbolt.

And one of the parts that doesn't work right now is Thunderbolt.

I'm trying to get the fucking Thunderbolt part.

And Lightning.

Very, very lightning.

Galileo.

Which just doing his actual own thing completely.

I'm over here.

All right, whatever.

I'm done.

Wade, what's your small talk?

I had some Quaker steak and lube.

And lube?

Dude, it was good.

Buffalo Joe's is gone, which makes me really sad.

Quaker steak, though, they've been

good.

Been real good.

Telling you, we should have gone in on Buffalo Joe's swept in capitalist takeover.

I don't know what's there now, but I think they sold before they announced they were selling.

If that makes any sense.

I think that it was already like by the time i learned that they were selling it was already like it was already done i don't know why they wouldn't have guessed that you a random patron who came in every once in a while would want to buy the place well they should have thought maybe someone would well someone did it sounds like yeah but we could have paid less hopefully and gotten it i don't know if that's how that works i will never know now any more small talk anything else happen I don't think so.

I have not bought any more GPUs.

That computer I'm talking about, I actually bought like a month ago.

It's been a series of problems trying to get parts for it.

Dude, isn't buying things that you need parts for or repairs on just a joy?

Isn't that just the best?

Fucking awful.

Like, I want to use this computer so bad, and I did get such a great deal on it, but half of me is just like, if I'd have just bought the complete version from Dell itself, it would have cost me several thousand more, but at least it would have had all the parts and I'd be using it by now.

But I got such a good deal on it.

I can't say that

it saved so much.

It saves, it was, I stole it right out.

Like it got listed right as I was looking for it, and I've never seen it again.

I've never seen it at that price again.

Like it was more than 50% off of what Dell was selling it for for way higher specs.

It was a crazy deal.

Well, hopefully that one card doesn't make up the difference in price.

Yeah, I don't know.

The time alone has been a pain in the ass, but it's getting there.

It's getting there.

I got a couple parts in from eBay.

None from Dell itself, but a few other parts.

Ah, but Deli will be reaching out.

Deli, yeah, yeah.

You seem so sad.

I feel I always feel bad talking about these kind of things because it's just like, it's, I'm swimming in computer parts, right?

And that's like something that a lot of people would love to do.

And I get like it's a fun problem to have.

And it's very privileged of me to say so, but it's like, it's also just like, I don't want anyone else to feel like, you know, bad just because I'm complaining about getting a great deal on a computer.

I feel like I'm very frugal in my shopping, but I'm also not very frugal because I'm spending a ton on computer stuff.

It's all for work.

It's all business expense, but I get that it's.

I think it's interesting.

I think people care, and I think you're passionate about it, which makes a difference.

And I think it's interesting to everyone else.

Yeah, and I'm getting more employees, too.

Like, so it's, it's, uh, I have to keep them equipped.

What?

You're hiring job applications?

No, no.

Where do we send our resumes?

They all need computers and everyone needs power to do things.

So it's like, yeah.

Wall Street Journal, do you hear that?

Markipliers hire.

No, I'm replacing everyone with AI.

I got to hire my AIs and they need computers.

That's what it is.

Duo, Marco, is that you?

Duo Lingo announced they were gonna go all in on AI.

Oh, didn't they say that and it blew up in their face?

Yeah, no, nobody liked that.

Everyone was pretty pissed off about that situation, as far as I recall.

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This episode is brought to you by Uber.

You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most?

Yeah.

We all need that sometimes.

And Uber knows that.

Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered.

It's showing up no matter what.

I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are.

It's either them or the FBI.

I'm not 100%

sure.

Yep.

When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up.

Or there's a will.

We're on our way.

Uber, on our way.

Download the app today.

Anyway, I have a game for today, and it's a game of names, but not names of people.

Well, mostly, maybe, but names of things and or concepts.

Anyway, I have a list of a bunch of shit that has names that I bet you idiots don't know the names of.

But if you do know the names of them, or if you come up with a better name and I like what you've got, that's how you earn points.

It's literally just a list of words of things.

I'll describe the thing to you, and then you tell me the name, as is apparently tradition now.

Are these all the same type of thing?

Are these all different?

No, it's just random stuff.

Like, this is stuff that's not complicated to describe, but it ranges all over the place.

This is just things that we all sort of know exist and that we see or whatever, but like it has a specific name.

It's not just called, oh, that thing, that one, you know, that one thing.

It has like a anyway.

Wade, call it Tim Heads, Tim Heads.

And I got Jeff Tails, which means Mark goes first.

This is my episode.

I feel good.

What is this thing called?

You know, when it rains, when it rains, nice rain shower, and then it all clears away and the rain's all gone, and there's a smell.

What is that called?

Oh, man.

It has a name.

The smell after the rain has a name.

Oh, wow.

Man, I'm bad with names, so I wouldn't even remember it if I really knew it.

There might be 20 things on this list, but don't read into that too much.

Oh, man, what is it?

Pretty much.

Are you doing a remembering ceremony in your mind?

Yes.

Where's the rain located in your mind, palace?

It's raining on top of it.

It's not no.

It's not that word.

It's not Torpor.

T-O-R-P-O-R?

What's Torpor?

Is that your official guess?

Yeah, I don't know it.

I know that there is a name, but I can't think of it for the life of me.

I don't think that's it.

Torpor.

Torpor is like a.

No, that's like a melancholy kind of malaise thing.

I don't put malaise on my sandwiches.

So he laughs.

Therefore, my joke must have been funny.

All right, I don't know.

I don't know.

You could guess.

You could make something up.

I did.

I did.

It's not.

The only other thing is Sonder, and I know that's not it.

Sonder.

Those are both good words and names of things that are real, but they are not this this thing.

Wade, for the steal, do you happen to know what the smell after it rains is called?

Yeah, it's called the Saty By Sunny High.

Huh?

The Saty By, because the rain go bye-bye, Sunny High.

The Saty By Sunny High.

I appreciate that you had that locked and loaded, but I'm not giving you a point for that.

I didn't.

I had S-W-W-U-S.

It was the something

water wind sun, but I forgot what it was, so I made something else up on the spot.

Anyway, it's called Petracore.

Petrachore.

I used to go there for dog bones.

I never would have gotten that.

Oh, is that the name of like the chemical that the smell?

That's just

described in what I have as the way it smells after the rain.

I don't know if it's a chemical or

but petricore.

All right.

Petricore.

But you got to admit, mine was a better name, which was one of the qualifiers, right?

Sunny by Satyhigh.

What was it?

Saty by Sunny High.

Good enough.

But not good enough for points.

Oh, Wade, you get to go first on this one.

Oh, boy.

You have shoes, or you're at least familiar with shoes, and I assume that you've had some with laces on them.

You know how on shoelaces, there's that end bit on the tips that's like hard and plastic or maybe metal?

Yeah.

What are those called?

Those are the schlastics.

The shoe plastics.

They're called schlastics.

I like that, but wrong.

Mark, what are they called?

I should know this because I own a clothing company and the same thing is on sweater tips.

No, but they're called something completely different.

They might be.

Is it knurls?

Is it knurls?

Sorry, it's not knurls.

They're called aglets.

Oh, I did know that.

God.

That was my next guess.

I did know that because when it came up, I got them confused with eyelets, which are like either the round holes.

So aglets go through the eyelets or something like that.

The aglets go through the eyelets.

They let you hold the laces, and whenever they break and crack off, you go, ag.

Ag.

yeah, exactly.

Anyway, I'm going to call them schlastics from now on because I love that.

You're not going to call them knurls.

Mine was also just

something else already, though.

Knurling is a thing.

Oh, the burls.

Knurling is a thing, but the burls.

Think of the burls.

What about the schlastics?

Well, that's okay.

Because I know you know this one, Mark.

It's easy.

All right.

What is the first cry of a newborn baby called?

Oh, the first cry.

I mean, it's so simple.

You can't say I'm wrong.

I can't say you're wrong.

I didn't know that there was a new term for this.

Honestly, I didn't either until I was looking stuff up.

It's birthy breath.

After breath.

After breath.

All right.

Wait, do you want to try and steal?

Oh, I didn't get it right.

Are you serious?

I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying that.

It's called the Rye.

Because it's a relief cry because you hear it and you feel relieved at the cry because it's like, oh, thank God, the breath.

But it really is the thing that happens after the breath.

I feel like Marx is more accurate.

How dare you?

And apparently, what it's called by medical type people is, and I'm not making a joke about this, I'm just unsure how to pronounce it, vagitis or vagitis.

V-A-G-I-T-U-S.

Everybody, my baby's got vagitis!

Vagitis!

I mean, baby vaginis.

I don't really see how it connects, but I kind, I guess, I'm.

Which one's crying?

The baby or the vagina?

It's like the, thank God, that's out of here.

Or is it the, thank God, I'm out of there.

I think it's the baby.

I don't think the vagina cries.

I think that's a baby thing.

I've never experienced childbirth.

I'm not a dad, so I don't know.

I guess I was there once for childbirth, but I don't remember it.

Are we going to get any of this?

No.

It's possible.

All right, Wade.

Yep, hit me.

What?

There's a word, one word for this.

It's an easy one.

Okay, I can use it as sentence.

I definitely could.

What is it called?

What is the day after tomorrow called?

Then.

Then day.

Could take a little bit longer, but okay.

No, it's the then day.

Then day.

Got it.

It really looks like the then day diagram.

Never mind.

You go.

Then diagram was the pun.

Didn't work.

Yeah, I got it.

Then, then diagram, got it.

I don't know this one.

I feel like there is some.

We have a word for tomorrow.

Yeah.

The day after tomorrow?

What's the day after that?

Morrow wind.

Elder Scrolls 3.

Future.

Nah,

I feel like...

All these are, oh, I saw an article that was like, oh, this mentioned it at some point, but I can't remember what this is.

You were on the right track, Mark.

And I actually thought yours was pretty funny, but the word is over Morrow.

Oh my God, I was going to say that before I made the Morrowing joke.

Oh, you got to be fucking kidding me.

Oh, because I was like,

but that couldn't possibly it.

Oh, make a stupid joke.

That's too on the nose, isn't it?

Oh,

man.

I legitimately just say that.

And then I went for the stupid...

Fuck.

God damn it.

That was probably my only chance at a point this whole game.

All right, you might, someone might know this.

Mark, you get to know it first.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

What is what is the dot over an I or a J called?

It's a funny word.

The little dot that dots an I or dots a lowercase J.

It's a funny, funny word.

Great word.

Come on, man.

You took English class.

Remember this?

No, not at all.

I never knew it had a name.

I never knew it had a name.

I know that two dots over a vowel is an um wow.

Oh, what's one dot over a j?

Must be an um or a lout.

Man, I never would have considered that to have a name.

I really thought you had a chance at this.

No, I have no idea.

What is it?

I might have misjudged the difficulty completely.

Well, you can guess if you want, but no, I got no.

I mean, I know that there's like this the thing, the swoopy one is a tilde.

I know umlau.

I don't know what the accent is called, but yeah,

I never even thought of it as a separate thing from a J and an I, so I never knew it had a name.

Wait, do you happen to know this one?

Yeah, Mark was close when we talked about Tilda, because it's actually a till-tip.

Fuck, I thought you knew it.

God damn it.

It's the tip of the tilde.

It's so close.

It's so stupidly close.

Damn it.

It's called a tittle.

Is it?

Are you sure?

Oh, I said a till tip.

T-I-T-T-L-E, till-tip or tittle.

Oh, tittle?

Oh, damn.

Tiddles and burls.

A tittle?

It's a funny word.

Tittle.

Dot your tittles and cross your T's.

No, it's tittle your I's.

Make sure you tittle your I's and your J's.

Don't leave your J untittled.

Cross your T's and tittle your J's.

Come on down and have sex at rays.

This one I learned from TV.

So there's a reasonable chance that one of you knows this one.

Okay.

So an exclamation point, exclamation mark, and a question mark are two different punctuations, right?

There's one word that describes when you combine an exclamation mark with a question mark.

What is that called?

It's another funny one.

Man, I really thought you guys would know some more of these.

I guess I know more words than I give myself credit for.

Is it my first on this one?

Yes.

I'm not sure it matters very much, but yes.

There's two words for it, an intermation or an exclerogative.

God, that's stupidly close again.

Fuck!

I mean, that might be right even.

But also, Mark, do you want to steal?

Wait,

he was close, was he?

It is an interrogative.

An interrogative is just a question, yeah.

Oh, I thought that was it.

Turns out I combined the word exclamation with interrogative there.

It's close to that, though, right?

Yeah.

I'll even give you that that's the correct thing to latch onto and potentially remember.

Exclamaterogative.

All right.

It's called an interobang.

Oh, I have heard of that one.

Well, where's the bang come from?

I'm pretty sure that's a joke in Brooklyn 9-9 or something.

There's a show.

There's a popular show where they talk about interobangs at some point.

Intero bang.

I oh.

Explorogative.

I could not say it again if you asked me to.

Exclamatorogative?

Is that what I said?

Wait, Torpor.

I'm rewinding a bit.

Isn't Torpor the thing that you fill monsters with on Monster Hunter to put them to sleep?

What are you filling them with?

You built their Torpor meter?

Maybe?

That's not a word.

A Torpor is

a general description of a fugue state, I think.

It's kind of just like, you know, you've got a Torpor.

Yeah, so I think it's when you put them to sleep in Monster Hunter, you give them, you fill up the Torpor meter.

I think.

You said Torpor, and I was like, what is Torpor?

Whoa, whoa,

you looked really surprised at that.

I was like, a panda sneeze, a baby panda.

Are you going to fall backwards out of your chair and roll down the hill now?

It would be funny, but wait till you have to find out what a panda's first sneeze is called.

I would go for what I think maybe is the easiest one on the list, maybe.

Okay, I think Mark's first on this.

Mark goes first.

Mark.

A fork.

It has those pointy bits on it stick out the front you stab stuff with what are those called on a fork aren't they prongs i thought yeah

to be honest i thought so

honestly that's not the word that i have for this but i'm gonna give you a point for that because yes that was immediately what i thought about this as well is that not what it is Yeah, I thought so too.

Prong was the only word I knew of.

I have heard this other, like, I knew this other word, but it prongs is the first one I would think of.

I'm totally giving you a prongs point, but wait, can you think of the other word?

Slender stabbies.

Oh, so stupidly close.

No, they're called tines, the tines of a fork.

Oh, I have heard of that.

I've heard that

dumb, though.

Tines, prongs.

What's the difference?

I actually agree.

I feel like they're called prongs.

I feel like prongs is.

I get these wrong tine after tine.

Thanks, guys.

I think I can give you a specific movie that this one is from.

Hope I've seen it.

I believe it is from A Night's Tale starring Heath Fletcher.

Okay, I saw it 30 years ago.

And this is a word that describes the utterly sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much.

You know what I remember from a night's tale?

William!

Someone yelling that like that.

That's like, that's all I remember from a night's tale.

Okay, this is a feeling you get from eating or drinking too much.

Yes.

Yeah, and you're remembering around because it was William!

Wasn't it?

Probably.

That was one of them.

I think they yelled William a lot.

You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.

Civic feeling when you have eaten or drinking, drinking, drinking too much.

It's a shitty feeling.

I'm four years old, and I got tum-tum-grum-grum.

Tum-tum-grum-grum.

All right.

I think in a night's tale, William, if you're going to marry my daughter, you have to overcome the tum-tum-grum-grum by partaking in this feast.

That definitely happens.

That's right after his dad shows up and he's like, Hey, I've been roaming the hills smoking.

Proud of you, son.

I remember that scene very well.

Yeah, sure.

That's pretty much in that movie.

Uh-huh.

I saw it one time.

It was like, What year did a nightstale come out?

Wasn't his dad blind net maker?

Wasn't that the thing?

He was a blind fishnet maker.

He used to be a Thatcher, but he went blind and now he mends fishnets.

Yes, I was 12 years old when I saw that movie.

I was out in the woods, son.

That's how I lost my sight.

I smoked too much hash and I went blind.

Was that right?

Or is it a better name?

It's funnier than what you came up with.

Funny enough, but you are not correct.

Mark, do you have a guess?

The utterly sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much.

The bloaty, it's up in my throaties.

Oh, the tum tum grum grum, the bloaty my throaty.

You guys are really on the same page there.

No, it's even funnier than both of those.

That feeling is called crapulance.

It's such a good word.

I've definitely used crapulence before.

It's one of my favorite words.

I think, yeah, you have used crapulance.

I wouldn't have associated it with that,

but I get it.

I get it.

Halfway through Fogo to Child, the manager comes over with the intercom.

Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to experience a little bit of crapulence, just buy tide, and drink plenty of fluids.

Turns out the fish we served was

very old.

As your Maitreye speaking, bask in the radiant glory of your crapulance.

Your vomit bags can double as a diaper.

Or flotation device.

One of you guys has to know this one.

It's the name of a thing we've done a lot.

Okay.

Mark, so a hammer.

There's the side that's like the hammer, the hammer face.

That's like the one side.

And then the opposing side.

What is that called?

It's not the hammer.

It's the other, the other side.

It's in the name of some kinds of hammer.

And it's also part of the name of a thing we did

for a while.

Did we jack a lot?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, no!

I know this one!

Oh, we've jacked a lot.

Holy shit.

Is it the peen?

Yes, it's a peen.

Oh, my God!

Because we did the three peens in a pod, and a ball-peen hammer is a hammer where there's a hammer on one side and a ball on the peen side are you sure it's not a jack we didn't jack a lot no it's a peen that also means that hammers that have the nail removery bits are technically claw peen hammers which i fucking love because i'm gonna go use my claw peen hammer after this and you can't tell if that's dirty or terrifying Or it could be both.

Probably both.

Anyway, you got one.

Finally.

Wade,

make me proud.

I got you.

Make me proud, Wade.

Hit me.

This is another word that I know you know, but it's, it's,

it's in a different context here.

What is the bottom of a wine bottle called?

This is also something that might happen in a sporting event.

The touchdown.

Because it's the part that touches down.

I love where your head's at.

You're in the right sport there, but not, it's, uh, it's not called the touchdown.

Too many hands, too many men on the field.

Too many hands on the man.

No, too many hands on the man.

Mark.

The bottom of a wine glass or wine bottle.

Yes, the bottle.

It's that thing that's concave.

It's the little, yeah, the little part that makes you feel like they're trying to cheat you out of volume of wine bottle because you're like, shouldn't that just be filled with wine?

Shouldn't it just be.

Oh, I know it.

I think I got it.

Well, good thing it comes back to you, buddy.

It's a good thing you didn't wait to think, to guess what you know, instead of just saying words immediately.

No, I got this one.

Okay, the right sport.

He was in the right sport.

He was in the right sport.

It's the end zone.

God, I wish that was it.

I like that.

That's really good.

That's the winning answer.

Unless Wade, I'll give you a chance to resteal.

Hey, wait, wait a minute.

Wait,

I'll call it.

I'll call it.

One end.

One end is the.

unfair.

There's no way.

We've never gone back.

Wait, let him say it.

Let him say it.

And then there's the end.

There's the bottom that sits on the ground that you can't open because it's a tight end.

He didn't know it.

Unfair.

I declared unfair.

You did say it.

I just wanted to hear if he...

That's not it.

It's called the punt.

The punt of the wine bottle.

Anyway, Mark declared unfair because I circled back to Wade.

I say we erase everyone's memory from

the moment I said unfair because it can't happen.

Wait, weren't you going to get the point?

No one's getting the point, but it was going to be you.

No, I was going to give you the point for End Zone.

Oh, have you been giving points for who's closest?

I told you, if you come up with a funny answer that I like, I'll give you points for that too.

Not on everyone, but.

Oh, well, I thought the only unfair is like it went back to him, which is never done this whole game.

All right.

If it's all heads, I can't talk to Wade for the rest of the episode.

If it's all tails,

Wade gets a chance to steal whatever he wants for the rest of the episode.

All right.

All right, here we go.

Wow.

Oh, no.

I also got tails.

Oh, boy.

No, you didn't.

No, you didn't.

So that was totally fair what I just did.

It didn't matter because Mark got the point anyway.

You're like, Mark, you're going to get the point, even though you're wrong.

And you're like, unfair.

It was because it was going back to you and nothing ever happened.

I didn't think it would count, but I had to get my tight end in there.

I honestly just wanted to know if Wade knew it, which he didn't.

You're not allowed.

Well, you are because the coins say it.

I feel like I am allowed.

Yeah, well, I tried to not make it allowed, and now my power is done.

You know, it wasn't fair is that you guessed it right, and I didn't get a guess at all.

I should have gotten a guess after you.

I didn't guess it right.

You got the last one right.

I don't even remember what he said the real answer was.

What was the real answer?

You knew about the peen.

It's called a punt.

Is it?

Yeah, it's called a punt.

Is it?

Is it called a punt?

It's what my document says.

That's what my document says.

We all knew it was.

Look, I'm not going to say that I know that beyond a diff.

Anyway, Mark gets to go first because I unfairly went back to Wade.

This one is another one where this is a funny word that I know you've heard, but this is a different.

I don't know if you'll know this thing, but maybe.

The fleshy thing around the neck of a turkey You know turkeys have kind of a nap situation.

Oh shit.

I've heard this.

It's a funny word.

It's a very funny word.

Okay, it's not giblet because that applies to other birds.

I think

wait, or is it is it giblet?

I might keep thinking about it.

Okay.

I don't think it's giblet.

Yeah, giblet applies to a lot of birds.

What the answer made my brain stop.

Is it this?

I might keep thinking about it.

I mean, I'm not telling you yes or no.

I'm just saying, you know, really, really consider before you commit to an answer.

Do you actually know it, Wade, or do you just think that you know it?

I've heard it, but I don't remember it.

The only two words that come to mind is the stupid answer that no one would believe ever say is their final answer.

And gizzard, but also, I don't know.

Gizzard?

Gizzards are actually organs, I believe.

You can eat fried chicken gizzards, but it does not come from the neck.

It's an internal organ, I think.

Wade, what's that fleshy thing around the neck of a turkey called?

And it's not my hand, it's the thumb, it's part of the part of the turkey.

You know what a peach cobbler, but do you know about the meat gobbler?

The meat, the meat gobbler?

That's what a turkey's neck is called.

The meat gobbler.

That's what it's called.

That's Wade's nickname whenever he goes to Fogo.

So that's why turkeys gobble, gobble, gobble.

The air because of their meat gobblers.

The legend of the meat gobbler.

I really know I've heard this word, but it's not anywhere.

It's called a snood.

I've heard that.

I have not heard that.

Okay, I do not know that one.

Yeah, because they're not clothed.

They're snood.

Well,

I really tried to fish out all the ones I thought were easy.

Now we only have ones that I think.

Those are the easy ones.

Yeah, well, now we only have ones that I think are fucking ridiculous.

Honestly, these I might know more.

I don't know.

Hit us.

We're ready.

If any of them have, like, these have never been in a book.

The only reason I have a big vocabulary is because I read a lot of specifically Warhammer, but I've read a lot in my life.

I've never heard any of these.

Wade is first on this one.

Sorry, just last

big vocabulary.

The word he got right was peen.

I was a carpenter, too, so that's why I know that one.

There's a type of cup, if you go into like a fast food restaurant or even a casual dining places, if you have to go get ketchup, you know, those little paper cups that you can get that you put the ketchup in, and then they can, you can sort of open them up and lay them flat.

Those little specific paper cups, there's a name for those.

Do you know that name?

Swarf.

I wish they're called swarfs.

You don't want to think anymore, or it's not going to do any good, it'll only get worse.

It would, but you already had one where you thought it was going to do you some good.

It ended up not, and you're still wrong.

But, like, there's nothing wrong with thinking, you're allowed to think, bud.

I'm confident in swarfs.

Swarf.

Swarf?

That's your.

All right.

Mark, do you, do you know this?

It's the paper cups.

Yeah, those those little paper cups that you can put ketchup or other condiments in at

fast food joints.

And they like stretchy out, but not everyone ever uses a stretchy out.

They get three of them instead of one stretchy outy.

When I learned that you could expand them like that, I was like, whoa, what the fuck?

Whoa, that's crazy.

I honestly don't think they're supposed to be expanded.

I think that's just a factor of how they're folded, but it is interesting that they can expand.

No, no, you can hold more and they're easier to dip into.

It's brilliant.

I can tell you the name of this this informs me that I think they are supposed to do that for other reasons.

And the name of them is food-related, but it's unrelated to ketchup or condiments.

It's weird.

It's interesting.

The frenulum.

It's actually another word on this list.

I think it is.

Don't ask that one then.

Let's skip that one.

All right.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

Those are called

souffle cups.

Isn't that what I said?

Isn't that what he said?

Oh, is it?

Am I misremembering?

Is that what Wayne said?

Editors, don't you remember me saying souffle cup?

Yeah, and not at all smarmf or whatever the fuck you said.

Swarf.

Swarf, which is not what I said?

Sure, sure, sure.

I heard it.

Schwarmumf.

Which problem,

you know what I mean?

Best part of waking up is souffle in your cup.

Yeah, they're called souffle cups, and they're designed like that so you can peel them away from the souffle, right?

So that you don't like because you can't, because they're so delicate.

Also, Mark,

frenulum is on my list.

It's not that.

I mean, I know what a frenulum is.

I hope I get it first.

A frenulum.

Well, I'm just, I was just going to give it to you because you got one right, and I'm proud of you.

Frenulum or frenum is a small fold of tissue that secures the motion of a mobile organ in the body.

Oh, right.

There are multiple frenulum.

I was thinking of the penis one, but there's one under the tongue as well.

Yeah.

In general, like you have frenulums in your body.

It's a type of formation.

The one thing that connects your dick and your tongue, your frenulum.

All about the frenulums we make along the way.

Yeah, pretty much.

God, I'm really trying to.

Oh, what are the easiest?

Give us a hard one, man.

These have all been too easy.

Yeah, come on, man.

No, please.

Mark, you're first.

Good luck.

Mark, you're a first.

Mark, here's a hard one.

Okay.

What's the word for the cardboard sleeve you put on your coffee cup when it's too hot?

When you go get coffee from wherever your favorite coffee place is, the souffle sleeve.

I wouldn't know.

It's not a koozie.

That's the only thing that I know that goes around a cup for temperature.

Do you want a hint?

No, I don't want to give him the hint.

He needs it.

It's true.

Souffle sleeve, as you guess.

I love that.

Wade, do you want a hint?

I'll take his hint and mine.

There's only one hint.

It was for both of you, but

it is like Scarf, but different.

Oh my God, Wade, it's what you said before.

My time to shine.

I have to at this point.

I don't remember what you said, but it was the thing.

It's a swarf.

It's a swarf.

I was going to say a cylinder mitten, a sittin', but no, I'll go with swarf.

Ah,

you know what?

That's close enough.

Schwarf, Zorf, Zorf.

Oh, wait.

What was one of those you said I think was right?

Zorf?

Close enough.

If you pronounce an A weird, it's a Zarf or a Zorf if you're a Yinser.

All right.

You know what?

Whatever.

This one's on me, guys.

This one's on me.

I thought that more of these would be in the vocabulary.

We're going to loop through again, right?

It's 20 easy words, right?

Honestly, I'm willing to give you the chance.

Whose turn is it?

It's Wade's turn.

What's the way it smells after the rain?

Pantycore?

Is it Pentychore?

You know, I don't think it's Pantycore.

No, it's not Pantycore.

I'm sorry, Wade.

But it is Petrichore.

Oh, shit.

I was so close-ish.

Mark has learned from previous adventures.

Oh, fuck Fuck me.

Mark.

Yes.

What is the first cry of a newborn baby called?

Vagis.

Vagitis.

That's right.

You didn't sound more confident.

My brain was vaginosis, and I'm like, that's a different thing.

Vaginosis.

Oh, man.

Don't get the just don't get the pantychore mixed in.

Don't get the pantycore in your vagitises.

Don't get your panty cores in a twist.

Oh, yes.

Wait,

yes.

What are the, what's that plastic or metallic coating at the end of shoelaces called?

My brain says tariffs, but I know that's not that.

Oh, damn it.

This is not my episode.

Man, Mark's going to walk away with this one, I think.

Addles.

Adults?

Adults?

Something about that is the most Ethan Nestor thing I've ever heard you say in my entire life.

Addle boy.

Skrillet.

Skirt.

Obviously, they're aglets.

Aglets!

I was close!

You were so close, I could tell what you meant.

You were just all so wrong.

Fuck.

Okay, this is the limit of where early in the game I was going like, Petrick or Petrick Ortick, Aglets, Aglets, Aglets, in my head.

And then I think I've stopped at this point.

So I don't know.

Y'all is where I take off.

All right.

Funny one here.

Mark, what are those little dots over the I and the J called?

Tittles.

Oh, man.

I agree.

Wade, you get.

Your agreement is correct and noted.

All right, Wade, I'm going to toss you a softball.

Are you ready?

I'm going to fail it.

Do it.

There's a name for this.

What do you call the day day after tomorrow?

It's not tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's Elder Scrolls 3.

Overmorrow.

Overmorrow.

Yes.

I was like, under.

It's under something.

Under.

Clearly, it's Morrow Wind.

Over Overmorrow.

All right.

Now we're getting some points on the board.

This is what I...

I knew you guys could do it.

Wadey's first point.

All right.

Here we go.

Mark, you get to go first on this one.

Yes.

What is that fleshy thing around the neck of a turkey called?

Oh, man.

See, the thing is, I told you I stopped remembering.

I don't know it either.

Oh, no.

Wait, wait, no.

Nope.

Oh, this is embarrassing.

Oh,

God.

What the fuck?

I'm drawn.

All I got is the same answers I said before, which was gizzard and giblet.

I got nothing.

It's a blank slate.

Combine them.

You get gizzard or giblet.

Never mind.

I got nothing, man.

I don't know why, but I'm.

I even heard.

I remember Wade getting it or not getting it.

I don't know.

Did you get it?

I didn't get it.

Okay, I don't remember what was said.

That's the answer then.

I don't fucking know.

Wade, do you remember?

Is this one the snood?

Wade gets the snood.

Oh, right, the snood.

Because it's nude.

Ah, you would remember that one.

This is another one that I've used in an actual sentence sentence that I said out loud.

And I acknowledge that it's going to be hard.

This is not one we've covered already.

This is just one I want to work in as probably the last one.

You should.

I've literally said this in conversation.

And I'm not a word guy.

I mean, I am a word guy, but I'm not that kind of word guy, generally.

Wade, you get to go first.

There's one word that describes the action of throwing something out of a window.

What is that word?

I'm picturing Bob.

I fucking yucked it.

Hyucking.

Think.

I mean, unless that's it.

It's not how he operates.

What do you mean?

Unless that's it.

All right, if that's it, I take it.

If it's not it, I take the other answer.

What's the other answer?

Throwing it out of the window.

Parnassus did.

Parnassus did.

I thought like yuck.

It's definitely yuck.

All right, we're gonna stick with hucking.

Uh, Mark, do you know the word that describes the action of throwing something out of a window?

You've used this in conversation.

My shoes were long gone.

My pants were on fire.

My item was yucked through the window.

I know.

I hear it.

It's like X something, isn't it?

X.

X gonna give it to you.

X gonna get it out of here.

Is that it?

X gonna get it out of here?

X extrapolate.

Expatriate.

Excruciate.

Exclamatate.

I'm into it.

No, I don't think you're gonna get there.

If you're not already on the trail of it, I'm going to just say, it's defenistrate.

I defenestrated the book out the window.

I don't remember ever hearing you say that.

All right, I'm a little bit more of a word nerd than I thought I was.

I really thought that more people would know more of these words, and that's on me.

Well, more people might, but you got us too.

That's on me.

Hey, you guys know lots of stuff.

I know a lot of Warhammer words.

Give me some Warhammer 40k words.

If there's anything to take away from this, it's that I think you're smarter than you actually are.

I hold you in very high esteem.

How about this?

What does Calopidian mean?

Calopidian sounds like a race of aliens, but Calapigian, I would guess, has something to do with how tough your hands are or something.

Not at all.

When you can only write in one style.

No, you'll never guess.

You're pigeonholed into one calligraphy.

This is some kind of filmmaking word?

No, it's a word based on on either a Greek figure or a Greek god or something like that.

Calopidian means having a very well-shaped butthox.

Oh, nice.

I think it's

Calophygian?

I could cala all over that pigeon.

And I learned that from a Warhammer book, believe it or not, because in this, it's about this, it's about Kaiaphas Kane, this

man's patient.

I'm a freaking...

He's a.

He's a...

Pat.

What the fuck?

I can't remember.

You've messed with my brain.

I can't remember even what the very commissar.

He's a commissar.

God.

Anyway, and he's like, he's like, as I was walking the stairs, enjoying the Calapidian view of one of the fellow soldiers there, meaning that they were walking up the stairs ahead of him and he was looking at his butt.

Nice ass!

Happened to get him to look up to see the thing about to shoot him in the rafters.

And so I remember that very distinctly.

So Calapidian means having a shapely butt.

That's a good word.

I like that word.

Yeah, Venus Calipage.

Calipidge.

Calipage.

Yutine, adjective.

Used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained.

One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly.

They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice.

An individual confident in their contradictions.

They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist.

New team, the new fragrance by Mew Mew, defined by you.

Well, you both earned lots of points anyway.

One of you earned lots of more points than the other one, but you both earned a good number of points.

I don't think either of us earned that many points, so I don't know.

I think it might be me, but I don't know.

It's going to be like three to one.

Three to one final.

Uh-oh, I weighted myself.

I still feel like it's within the wheel spin.

Wade, you earned points for Fussaying for calling me out.

Ass licking.

Adele, never mind.

Your real laugh got out.

You made a funny joke.

Schlastics.

Too many hands on the man.

You got Zarf.

You got Overmorrow.

Agreement.

Oh, you got an agreement point.

I've noted that you looked sad, but that was not worth a point.

You had a point for Snood, and you had a point for X going to give it to you.

Mark, you earned points for Christadium calling me out for speaking poorly.

I don't think we sell that model.

Thunderbolt Rage, the Afterbreath, Prongs, Peen, Enzone, Frenulum, Petracore,

Vagidas, Aglet, Tittle,

and he's a hat.

He's a hat, he's a hat, hat guy, commissar.

Oh, okay, I got you.

Leaving Wade with a total, very respectable total of 11 points.

And Mark with a total of 13 points.

Hell yeah.

Still within a wheel, though.

Especially if we get the old classic triple wheel spin situation.

What was the one I got three of last time?

I got three like half of points once, didn't I?

Or someone did.

Yeah, I think you got three half points.

That wouldn't be enough today.

The wheel deems that we shall have...

That's not great for me.

Only one wheel speak one bonus point.

There are a few things that could really give Wade something here, but Wade is down by two points.

I just want someone else to get that tie.

Now we're saving it for you.

That's the real handshake.

I feel like I am the only person that gets spun on for some reason.

That bomb spun the other day.

It just worked out for him.

All right, used best word is what I'm adding, which I think is marks for this episode for Calophygian.

Calopidian, whatever.

Calopidgeian, Calopidian.

One important spin for all the beans.

Whoa.

Wait.

Okay.

No, we don't have any live points.

Landed on live points doubled, but we don't have any live points.

That's a good.

I forgot about this.

Man, the, the.

They're getting interesting.

That one could have snuck up out of anywhere.

Well, that's a respin.

For all the rest of the beans, except for that one bean.

A point goes to the person person who lost the most points none of us lost any points did we yeah no one lost any points today i demand action

happiest contributions calopidian's a very happy contribution now i'm gonna say i mean it is yeah it's nicely shaped butt it's hard to argue that yeah i thought you you love 40k and yeah

a well-shaped butt away team's on board i think mark gets it i mean it's hard to argue against it like fair is fair and saying talking about butts how can I say it's not a good contribution?

All right.

Well, Mark gets the one point for the happiest contribution.

And that means

back 14 points.

Mark is today's episode winner.

Mark, winner speech.

I did it.

I did it.

I did it.

I

feel like I'm waking up to a lovely petrichorical morning.

Punt,

frenulum.

vagitis.

Thank you, one and all.

Uh,

snood.

Wayne.

Uh, loser speech.

Today's loser speech is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

Everything moves fast these days, and T-Mobile's home internet keeps up.

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It was a hard-fought victory.

I think the Vagasil had my brain much rather than the panty instead of the the pet.

But you know, we all have those little plastic tips, the

agreeduses.

Fuck, never mind.

You know what?

I lost.

I deserve to lose.

I suck.

I hate it that I lose, but I know I deserve it.

Because brain no remember good.

Punt.

Punt.

Punt.

Punt.

Today's loser speech was presented by T-Mobile's 5G home internet.

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Well, that means Mark is going to host the next one.

Great job, Mark.

Thank you.

And that's going to be it for this episode.

Punts out for Harambe.

If anyone else out there is, I guess, weird like me and thought these words were cool and knew some of them, let me know on the subreddit.

But I guess mostly what I did this episode is out myself as being a big nerd.

Make sure you follow the podcast on Spotify or whatever platform you like, YouTube, wherever, and you'll get notifications when it comes out.

And make sure you follow us on socials, Mark Plier, Ice Cream, Lord Minion777, or Minion 777.

It's here!

Official distractible merch is finally back.

Available only at distractible.shop.

Now that's what I call Calipidgean.

Go enjoy some merch.

Anyway, that's it.

That's the end of the episode.

Marcos, the next one.

Okay, bye.

Podcast out.

Podcast out.