Cold Stone Creamery 3 with Shaun Diston and Gilli Nissim

This is a head gum podcast.

Want to watch this episode?

Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash doughboys media.

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In 1908, the Sunshine Biscuit Company introduced a cookie that would realign the American snack market.

Two chocolate wafers sandwiching a layer of sweet white cream.

The chocolate sandwich cookie persists to this day, outlasting the business that invented it.

That cookie brand is Hydrox.

In 1912, the National Biscuit Company, a larger and more powerful corporation, better known by its modern clip portmanteau Nabisco, introduced its clone of Sunshine's Hydrox, called the Oreo.

Nabisco's Oreo would come to dominate the market over the next century, becoming a billion-dollar brand and the top-selling cookie in America.

Hydrox, meanwhile, not only has been relegated to also ran, but suffered the indignity of being accused of imitating its own imitator, like accusing the Beatles of copying Oasis.

It's a pattern that happens in art, in fashion, and in food, the victor not being who came first, but who finished first.

Innovation trumped by factors like persistence, marketing, and timing.

And it also happened with a different sweet treat concept, smooth textured ice cream mixed with toppings to order.

The first to market was Steve Harrell with his Steve's Ice Cream Parlor in 1973, which created and trademarked the term Mix-In, though he sold his company for $80,000 in 1978.

Steve's was imitated by Marble Slab Creamery in 1983, which maintains a market presence in strip malls to this day as part of the Fat Brand's alliance with Fat Burger, Round Table Pizza, and Hot Dog on a Stick.

And the concept was imitated yet again in 1988, when partners Donald and Susan Sutherland opened their parlor in Tempe, Arizona, slinging ice cream mixed to order on the frozen granite that gave the brand its name.

Today with around 1,000 locations, it's more than three times the size of Marble Slab, itself, now like Hydrox, often falsely accused of ripping off the market leader.

And this year, in a bit of synergy of sweet treat imitators turned frontrunners, Oreo has partnered with the Arizona-based creamery that dominates its mix-to-order niche for a new slate of co-branded ice cream flavors and novelties.

As for Steve's ice cream, the parlor that started it all, the brand no longer exists.

Guess it's true what they say.

Ice Guys finish last.

This week on Doughboys, we return to Coldstone Creamery.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

Lex Chumore,

the spoon man Mike Mitchell.

Oh, man.

You're saying, oh, man?

Lex Chumore?

Lex Luther, Lex Chumore?

I think, I mean, this is the thing.

Lex, you're gilding the lily here.

Lex Chuthor gets the job done a little bit better.

Yeah.

With Summer On and superheroes making their annual Blockbuster Return, I wonder Rose for James Gunn's Superman.

Big fun, and thanks for all the year.

Big fan, and thanks for all the years of entertainment.

Josh K, roast at birdfock.com.

I also see Amelia included a note.

I like this one for how bad the pun is.

So that explains it.

Oh, you chose a bad.

No, there was no twisted metal pun anywhere.

It was just Lex Chewmore.

It's good.

It was good.

No, it's not.

It's not good.

It's bad.

Mitch Twisted Monthal continues here on Donald.

Welcome to Twisted Monthal.

Welcome to Twisted Monthal indeed.

I swear in

episode seven of nine at this point.

Yes, I believe so.

Time for another lickety lick of twisted treat, Wags.

Mitch, I don't want to sit here anymore.

Look what's happening on this couch.

She's looking at herself.

I'm talking about Lincoln.

Look at that ear.

That was funny.

Yes, Wags, we're celebrating Twisted Metal.

That's right.

Season two, streaming now on Peacock.

Twisted Monthal 2:1.

That's right.

This is the first real Twisted Monthal.

Well, Mitch, I had something truly twisted to be happen last night here at Headgum Studios.

And in fact, Metal was involved.

I heard this.

And a twist was involved.

That's right.

Last night, much like R.

Kelly, I was trapped in the bathroom.

I don't think he's ever saying he was trapped in the bathroom.

He'd love to be trapped in the bathroom.

Being there.

I was, the headgum bathroom.

So

we did our record.

You went to have dinner with your mom and some friends.

So that friend being Samoa Joe.

That's true.

That's right.

Yeah.

Possibly a future guest on Doughboys.

He's next week's guest.

He's on the last.

He's next week's.

When we end Twisted Monthal.

We had some more bullshit to do here.

I had to record my intros for the podcast.

And then I went in the restroom.

And while I'm in there,

And

by the way, I'm in the restroom basically because we've been doing ice cream all month.

An absolute fucking nightmare in my digestive tract.

Do you ever just like, I'm just, this is, this is a dude thing.

It's a dude thing.

You ever just go in there and like stand at the urinal to fart?

That's just basically what I was doing.

Hell yeah, hell box.

Hell yeah.

So you turn into a little soft serve machine yourself.

I'm just in there sandblasting solo, and I go to open.

You gotta take your dick out?

You gotta take your dick out.

If you're farting, you take your dick out.

Guys know what we're talking about.

Hell yeah.

It's a dude thing.

It's a dude thing.

I go to open the door handle.

It just comes off in my hand.

And so I'm like stuck in there.

And Amelia, thankfully, is like, oh, I think I can get it from outside.

Is able to open it from outside.

But then suggests, hey, why don't we put a light?

Why don't you go back in there and see if you can open it from the inside

with the handle off?

Because we thought we'd fixed it.

Oh, they were here at least.

I was here at least.

I was not here at all.

Amelia and I were outside, like being like, it won't open.

It won't open.

So now I'm in there.

No, well, this is the next step, right?

Because it got opened.

The handle came off.

You were able to open it up when you opened the door.

Fully naked.

Hot and fresh out the kitchen.

Then you were like, try and see if you can open it from the inside in case it happens again and someone's here alone.

And

I closed it.

I was like, no, I can't open it.

And then Amelia said,

I have the quote here.

I have a chance to do something really funny

she looks at me with this shit eating grin and she goes I have a chance right now to do something really funny what were you what was what was the thing where you walk away and leave me in there

yes yeah but

but then but then

You actually couldn't open it from outside anymore.

And so you had to be like, no,

I'm not lying.

I actually, it is not working.

You actually are stuck in there.

I'm not messing with you this time.

I actually can't open it from the outside.

Yeah, so anyway, I noticed that a piece had like kind of slipped out.

Like there was like a dowel inside, like a piece of metal that was, you know, connected to the outside door handle.

So I was able to like kind of like jam that some bitch back in and that was able to like, you know, grip it enough where we were able to lock to unlock it.

Headgum just replaced the doorknobs with what they said were high-quality doorknobs, too.

So I'm surprised that

they couldn't have cheapened out on us.

Were they trying to turn those bathrooms into prisons for the doughboys?

But we can finally lock them away for good.

Maybe it is like a Superman situation where they're going to shoot us into space.

He said it was too on-brand for the Doughboys to break the bathroom.

Harrowing.

I got out of there.

Were you in the one with the window at least or no?

Yeah, I was.

I literally was looking at the door frame being like, I could pass him a screwdriver through the window.

We could take the door off this.

Man, I wish that you fucking Winnie to pooed your way out of that fucking window.

Could you fit through that window?

Your dick's out from farting.

the window's tight you're just farting the entire way out

oh father you've got to let enough farts out to get through the window yeah boys take their dicks out when they fart and ladies we know you're flashing them titties when you go in there and fart too

you say that but when ladies don't fart ladies don't fart but also when we wear jumpsuits we are getting topless in the bathroom

and it is absolutely insane when you see the like public restroom the like crack in the door and you just see see that eye of a lady who like doesn't trust that there's someone in there i've had it where that eye i see it growing wider because she has seen that i have a top off

and it's just like who's the pervert here okay you're looking in i'm topless out what do you want we got to do something about those cracks and those big cracks yeah like like what's going on and i my understanding is it's an american thing that's my understanding yeah this is not a thing outside of america i actually love when i travel i take a picture of different bathroom walks um it's one of my favorite things to see how many bars they'll be like, the lock is broken, use the deadbolt.

The deadbolt's broken, so it's just a fucking fish hook latch.

Other countries have figured this out.

They know how to lock a door and we got to get on board.

You can see too much through the crack.

I don't like any cracks.

I think a butt should just be just a hole.

Just smooth with one hole.

Thank you.

Yeah.

You're thinking about it.

I'm just trying to think of how it would work.

Well, why do we need a big cavernous crack?

Just one hole.

Which I've just honestly never thought about.

I guess we don't need it.

But squatting would be harder.

I don't think you could do like a sumo squat without a crack.

Yeah, no, that's true.

You need to be able to expand a little bit.

Why can't it, if you just think about like if it was just like a big, like a thing of like a big melon or a peach or something, yeah, and there's no crack and then there's just a hole and it comes, you know what I'm saying?

I think our musculature would have to be different.

Because

I want to

congratulate you guys for 10 years of

quality podcasting.

Do you guys like farting into the bowl?

Farting into the bowl for a guy, especially for a big guy.

I don't know how you guys will feel about this, but forever, just being in a bathroom and then hearing like a big echo, you're like, Yeah, it turns into a speaker at that time.

It's very embarrassing.

And even in a men's room, well, here's the thing: is when you're younger and you do that, everyone in the book, like the men's room, is going to be like, oh, and like make fun of you or whoever's in there.

Oh, it's lively in there.

I didn't know that.

Oh, God.

It's the worst.

Like taking a number two when I,

we talked about this while I would, I wouldn't almost would never do it.

My mom worked at my, at the high school I was at, so she sometimes give me a little special key and I go and use a bathroom, like a, like a private bathroom.

But they were all locked.

All my bathrooms were locked.

You couldn't, you, like, uh, you couldn't just go, you couldn't just like freely go to the bathroom.

You had to like ask.

And then if you were gone too long, people knew you were taking a shit.

Like, this is, I've thought about all of this stuff multiple times.

Did you, Are you the same way?

K through 12, not one deuce at school.

Not one time.

That's insane.

Man, that's crazy.

Only P.

That's crazy.

But I will say, as an offer, I jacked off.

A couple of jacks.

Jesus.

A little blood, a little.

Oh, yeah.

But I, like, as an adult, first off,

I have become a convert aside from just like the, you know, the stray, like just

fart fest.

I'm mostly a convert to the sit-down piece.

So I do give myself, you know, I find myself having some echo farts in the toilet bowl.

I line mine with egg cartons.

Oh, that's smart.

So it's really quiet.

Before we got in here, we were talking about jerking off for at least 10 minutes.

The podcast has started.

We have only talked

farting.

I can't even believe what I'm hearing.

Mitch, play the fucking drop.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to play the drop.

I interrupted him.

He was in the middle of talking about, he likes to sit.

He's a convert to sitting on the bowl.

Yeah,

Hog abbrevi's out there.

I've been saying that.

Treat yourself to a sit-down people.

He's promoting our television show.

Twister Metal Season 2, streaming now on Peacock.

Mitch, play your drop.

I'm going to hit him with a drop.

Wax,

it's our first Dough Boys After Dark.

How so?

I think when we were recording later, it should be Dough Boys After Dark.

Dough Boys After Dark.

It's not after.

It's still like

Dough Boys After Dark.

I can't tell from where you're.

I don't know.

There'd be like a cooler theme.

If you want to designate a Dough Boys After Dark, it is Dope Whiz After Dark.

Don't Whiz After Dark.

This was...

Wait, I think we used this.

They're both two Dough Boys After Dark drop.

It's Dough Boys After Dark.

Hot Grunty is so hot, and

I wish she was real.

Hot Grunty, shout out at the end.

That was a different drop.

Weiger and I thought that we had used it already.

On an episode that comes out next week.

So that's why we got it.

But it is different.

It's different.

It's two different Doughboys after dark drops.

Hot Grunty, very, and we won't get into Hot Grunty, but it's attractive.

I found a thread on, oh, you know, it was in the Doughboy.

It was on the Doughboys Reddit.

They were like, there was a thing that they posted from another one.

It was like, which version of Grunty is your favorite?

And like, it was like hot grunty, regular grunty, bone grunty.

Hot grunty sits on the bowl.

What I'm saying.

Damn.

I'm going to dress myself up like a toilet then.

Our guest today.

Give me

the green turd, Vlogs.

You think her turds are green?

Yeah, I don't know if her turds are.

They could be.

I mean, like, sometimes you have a green turd.

But it doesn't necessarily correlate with

the color of her skin.

That logic doesn't.

Yes, yes.

That's, that is true.

It's like the thing that drives me nuts when someone's like, got, like, there's like a blue, you know, they get blue goop over them.

It's like, oh, it's like a smurf fucking nutted on me.

It's like, you don't have, your cum is not the color.

of your flesh.

See, white people think white people are like, oh yeah, cum, same color as our skin.

For black people, we know it's different.

Right.

My cum does not match match my skin color.

Nice.

It'd be fun if it did.

Yeah.

Our guest from Twisted Middle Season 2.

Downstream, we got Peacock, Sean Distin.

Gilling to see him.

Thank you both so much for being here.

Yes.

So we've gotten jerk off talk and fart piss poo talk out of the way.

That's right.

Where else will we go in this episode?

It's about to get nasty.

I'll tell you where we're going to go.

Distin, we were trying to figure out what to do with you because we have, it's always an issue.

You're a tough guest.

Well, well, here.

No, you're a great guest, but you are particular when it comes to food, and we are a food podcast.

So we're doing

ice cream all month, rather.

Ice cron.

Not ice cron.

Ice cream all month.

Yes.

And we weren't sure if you eat ice cream.

Yes.

The question was, do you fuck with ice cream?

Yes.

And I'm happy to say, I do fuck with ice cream.

I love it.

Look, does ice cream fuck with me?

Yes.

But I eat it.

Is it my favorite dessert?

No.

But I fuck with ice cream.

What is your favorite dessert?

Yeah, this was going to be my question.

My favorite dessert.

Well, I don't know if you consider this a dessert, but I'm a cookie guy.

Yeah, cookie's a dessert.

Cookie's fucking good, man.

If you learn how to make a good cookie, here's a cookie I make.

I make this cookie where you brown the butter and then you put the dough in the fridge for two days.

Wow.

This is exactly how Mike makes his cookies.

He browns the butter and then he'll also freeze the dough.

It makes it so much fat in it too?

No, but we're gonna.

Throw some toffee in there.

These are great cookies.

I mean, I just just nothing better than a fresh-made cookie.

Sean said he would make these cookies on like day two in the writer's room, and he never did.

I never did.

I never did.

Because he was busy making television.

I did want the cookie, but I should bring those cookies in at some point.

It's not my recipe, but it's a hold your brain.

It's a recipe.

Put a little coffee grounds in there.

Just a little bit.

Didn't you say you put cottage cheese in it too?

No, no, no, no.

That's a whole other thing.

That's a whole.

My sister makes bagels with cottage cheese.

She does a cottage cheese.

Everyone's sticking cottage cheese in everything, I guess.

I think I had a banana bread recipe with cottage cheese.

It sounds good to me for the record.

Yeah.

There's like Greek yogurt bagels you can make and stuff like that.

When I visited you guys in the writer's room

very early in season two, writer's room,

I brought up McDonald's because there's a McDonald's underneath you, which then I didn't realize just how much you probably had.

This was a huge problem in the writer's room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

McDonald's.

it was so easy to like in the morning, be like, oh, I'll get this healthy sandwich or this little bowl or something.

And the second it shows up, I'm like, I'm getting nuggets.

Like, it was so easy to go to.

And then there was some toy we were collecting.

It was nugget buddies.

Yeah, it was we were collecting.

Okay, okay.

I say we, it was all me.

He had like a little army in front of him.

It was fun.

But yeah, McDonald's, I don't, I honestly haven't, I don't eat like drive-through or fast food that often, but that was like the most I had had McDonald's in a really long time.

Same.

And I don't think we told you this at the time, but I decided to be fun and get everyone breakfast from McDonald's.

And the day you were coming, you brought in McDonald's.

You walked in with McDonald's and everyone was like,

great.

It's so hard.

Like it was already, I will not make this mistake again.

Like you cannot give a room full of people McDonald's breakfast and then ask them to like come up with ideas.

And then you brought in a second dose and I think we all like picked at it, but you were very stressed out, I think, because you weren't sure if we liked it.

And I didn't want to be like, yeah, I fucked up your nice treat.

If I remember correctly, we demolished the meeting.

Okay, no matter what.

I brought cheeseburgers, fries, and maybe nuggets.

I think that's what I did.

Yeah, and nuggets were, no matter what I had for lunch, I was always willing to like pop a couple nuggets on top.

Hell yeah.

I had a similar thing happen when the fucking,

I don't know if anyone else got into the Star Wars card trader app, but like I was, I was super into it, but it had like all these microtransactions you could do to get more, more credits you could use to buy.

I think I know what you're going to tell us.

And so I like, or I was like, okay, if I order like a $50 Harry's Berries, I'll give like 2,000 credits I can use to buy like a Plocoon.

So like, I was like,

so I ordered, I ordered Harry's Berries or Sherry's Berries, I don't remember whatever the fuck, to the comedy Bang Bang Writer's Room.

And I think it's like, oh, this will be a nice surprise.

And then someone else also ordered, I think when Saunders also ordered Sherry's Berries.

To get it card, yeah, that's so funny.

How often do you look at your Plo Coon card now?

I got locked out of my account,

so it's gone after spending several hundred dollars of real money.

Didn't you send that?

Like, weren't you sending like edible arrangements to people?

Yeah, I was sending people edible arrangements and stuff like that.

You can always just like go on your computer and pull up a picture of Plocoon.

Who cares?

Yes, that is also true.

And also, you were sending people funeral gifts, basically.

And edible arrangements for all occasions.

That is, that's true.

That's true, true.

Tall John, when we, when two, two Johns don't make a right, the podcast, you did it as well.

Tall John and John Daly.

Yes, they sent a they sent an edible arrangement that said, I'm sorry, after

I did these.

That was a lovely gift.

I'm giving them a shout out.

It's great.

It's fantastic.

Gilly, what is your dessert hierarchy?

You know, where's ice cream rank?

This is huge.

I know what's coming.

Yeah.

This is huge.

Oh, wow.

I don't really like ice cream.

Wow.

So you thought I don't fuck with ice cream.

Billy doesn't fuck with ice cream.

This is insane.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't really like it.

I'll tell you, the best ice cream I've had this summer was the bean and cheese cone at the OC County Fair.

Bean and cheese?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm a savory girl.

I'm on record on this pod saying I put truffle and everything bagel seasoning in my yogurt.

We need to talk about it.

Yogurt's just a little bit warmer ice cream.

Yeah, I enjoyed doing this.

I enjoyed the bites that I took, but I like can't even think of the last time I finished a cone or a cup of ice cream.

And as a kid, I never finished it.

Like, you get it because it's exciting to go get ice cream, but it doesn't drive me nuts.

Genuinely, the bean and cheese cone, I was like, so delighted.

So it was licking.

Was there real cheese and bean in it?

Yeah, so it was.

Pretty well crafted.

The cone itself was disappointing, but it is a new launch.

The cone should have been a tortilla,

maybe cheese.

I have a waffle maker where I can make cheese into a very crispy thing that so it's doable.

I think because it's a new product, they were like, we're not making a whole cone.

So it was just a regular sugar cone.

A sugar cone.

Or waffle cone.

I guess they're different, but they are.

And it was cold.

It was, it was hot beans.

Hot beans.

Were they like pinto beans?

Refried pinto beans.

And they really took care.

I saw the guy building it.

So it was like a scoop of beans, a cheese sauce, scoop of beans, cheese sauce, then the big sort of like mound, the like Sean is ill and so many.

Mound of what?

Yes, that's the big, the big final mound of beans that's like visible above the cone.

This is an ice cream.

It's not ice cream, really.

I just said I don't like ice cream.

So what I like is that it's not ice cream.

You've discussed zine and cheese in the shape of ice cream.

Yes, but wait.

Then there's a sprinkle of a shredded Mexican blend.

Oh, sprinkle.

So it literally looks like it's still not ice cream.

It's not.

I don't like ice cream.

I like what it's beans.

I thought you were saying that they like liquefied beans or something and then like put it through an ice cream churn.

No, no.

And that stuff, I've tried the like garlic ice cream at Gilroy, California.

It's like the garlic capital.

Oh, right.

I've tried a lot of

ice cream that everyone was trying to do.

I've tried that.

I've tried the mac and cheese ice cream.

All that stuff I feel like is more of a gimmick than people like.

Sure.

It's sweet plus this other thing.

Everything bagel.

Take out the sweet.

Just make it beans.

Just straight up like refried beans and walking around licking beans i've never felt better i'll be honest this sounds great i'm totally out of it you're insane thank you this is i thought you would like it i literally was anticipating driving here of just like i think wire's gonna like it when you eat refried beans you put it on the spoon and then kind of like lick whatever is off and then go back in.

Licking beans sounds insane.

It's how you're already doing it.

You're just not thinking about it because it's on a spoon.

Like you don't like put it all in your mouth and use your lips and like scrape it clean that's crazy it gets on the spoon you look it cut out the spoon you're holding your beans in one hand interesting

just shaking hands with everyone you meet just licking the beans this reminds me of that simpsons thing

what was the simpsons thing the like car collage

when he goes to new york where it's like a cone of meat oh yeah

yes yes um

and a very funny joke where he's like we got crab juice in mountain dew and he goes ew

I'll take the crab juice.

Yes.

Great joke.

What you're describing is like a Simpsons-level snack where it's a cartoon, not a human being eating it, but

absolutely sounds like a cartoon.

And I thought also that Sean didn't like ice cream.

And I texted him behind your backs.

Wow.

Because he doesn't like cheese.

For the record, Sean is very easygoing in a writer's room.

He was so on, he was like refusing to be catered to in any way.

Do whatever you want.

There's a McDonald's downstairs.

Yeah, the McDonald's was huge.

I mean, that is super helpful.

Sometimes just opt out of the lunch order and go get your own McD's.

I would say probably

I wouldn't always get McDonald's.

Sometimes I just wouldn't eat in general.

Wouldn't eat.

I have trouble eating during the day at work.

I don't know if you don't fuck with food in general.

No, I fuck with food.

All right.

All right.

But it's like, just like if I eat lunch and it's like, oh, the second half of the day is a complete wash.

Sure.

And like, so I like to, you know.

The show we eat right before we're going to work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's how I'm I'm feeling right now.

I'm like, wow, I've never really had a full Doughboys experience before recording.

But

yeah, I like ice cream, but you thought I didn't like ice cream.

Just the cheese of it all.

They're, you know, pretty dairy.

They're cousins, I would say.

But I mean, the man's easy going and he likes ice cream.

There you go.

There you go.

All right.

Here's an admission, Wags.

Yeah.

That before this started, we thought, hey, ice cream the whole month.

It's easy to do.

Sweet tooth drives an ice cream truck.

Stephanie had suggested Jenny's ice cream, which makes an everything bagel ice cream, or did at one point.

Yeah.

And we were like, let's do ice cream.

It's easy.

And why is this in a new job?

It seems like an easy thing to do.

And then

FJ was like, I don't like ice cream.

So there are multiple guests that don't like ice cream.

I didn't realize.

It feels like a new thing that.

ice cream is slightly more polarizing than it used to be.

Because I think I know a few people that just don't like ice cream.

There are people who have like teeth sensitivity issues.

I think we've all realized that it gives us the rumblies to

think that ice cream when we were younger was like, oh, a bowl of ice cream fucking Sunday is the best thing in the world.

Now I can take it or leave it.

I like ice cream.

I will say like some good ice cream will get me very pumped, but I don't always reach for it.

Well, ice cream is my favorite dessert.

I love ice cream.

And that's a thing that has not wavered throughout my, my whole life.

Like I've just, it's, it's always been number one.

I mean, you know, this guy's going every week for ice cream.

I love ice cream.

That's nice.

I can't blame anyone for it.

Like when I have it, I'm like, like, I could see this being one of my favorite things if I had some consistent version of it that I liked.

Yeah.

Can I say a dessert I do like?

Please.

Yes.

I do like a hot, fresh chocolate chip cookie.

That is great.

I can't wait to try Sean's one day.

Hey.

And then I just learned, because I like to eat like a small amount of any dessert.

I just learned about, because I'm eating beans, so I'm full.

Steve Slaga, a friend, told me about you take a saltine cracker, you put some cream cheese on it, and then you put some jam on it.

I happen to have a low-quat jam.

It's in season.

And it tastes like the best cheesecake you've ever had.

And it's so easy and to like eat one.

I feel like I'm getting the whole experience of like it's salty.

The crust feeling of a cheesecake is in there.

It's like savory from the cream cheese and then a little sweet from a jam or like a fruit compote.

That sounds delightful.

Is a low quat related to a kumquat?

Is it the same?

Okay.

It's the sort of like juicier version.

I like loquats better, but they grow all over Los Angeles.

You've seen them.

Oh, okay.

It has like this, the meat of a peach and then like a thousand pits inside.

Now, is a lo-quat different than a jizquat?

Yes, because I've seen those all over.

There is the jizz tree.

There's that jizz.

That's flower that gets up to the square.

There's a whole block in like Franklin Village that just smells like sperm.

No stocks, Mitch.

Oh, I don't know if that's where you're.

It's not because of my apartment, Emma.

Whenever I'm doing spring cleaning, people are like, Smells like coffee.

What's going on?

Wait, can I tell a quick writer's room story about Gillian food?

Do you remember this, Gilly?

So,

we would get,

I would say that Gilly is a deranged food person.

Now, that has, you know, you've heard some of it.

You know, I don't want to get into all the details, but a very funny thing happened once where we got like,

we got like, what was it?

it was like chicken from um zanku we got zanku love zanku and

i think he got like a half chicken or something and it was in the fridge

for

i would say five days maybe six days

five days maybe six days gilly walks into the writer's room holding this zanku looking at us like

i can still eat this right i mean the reaction from the writers was like gilly are you insane like we were so scared scared that you're eating five-day-old chicken at home.

I was like, I was flabbergasted.

I was like, Gilly, what is happening?

You think you could eat?

It was like a whole weekend had gone by.

I didn't even remember when we ordered it.

And Gilly was like, truly considering eating this chicken.

And I thought, that is one of the most strange things I've ever seen.

I go five, six days on a regular basis.

Damn.

The only reason why I asked was because I just couldn't remember like what day was Sanku Day.

Cause if I had remembered, I would have gone like five days, six days, still good.

Honestly, the thing that scares me the most is that it's from a restaurant.

Yeah, I just don't know.

It's not like homemade or anything.

Yeah.

Oh, that chicken's from that day.

Zenku, their chickens are flying out the door.

I'm kind of going to, again, say with Gilly,

I will ride out a little bit too long on my leftovers for sure.

And I suffer the consequences.

Of course you do.

Of course you do.

I just, yeah, I finish every leftover.

And then you go out to like eat unexpectedly.

And that, that chicken's just sitting there a day longer than you meant to.

It was just so funny because Gilly is like such a like, you were such a delight in the writer's room, such a like competent, like, we were like looking to you for a lot in the room.

And then to come in and have one of the most bizarre opinions, like everyone was like, wait, no, Gilly's actually crazy.

I made you feel really unsafe.

I was like, hold on, Gilly, I need to go and clear out your fridge at home.

Yeah, we're opposite eaters.

Yeah, that's true.

That's when I was growing up.

I had, I just bit into too many moldy sandwiches that I am like

three days, four days, three days, four days is usually when it goes out.

Well, Well, you also grew up in the minority report house.

Yeah, that's true.

One time my mom gave me a sandwich

and I was like,

I was like, this was such a good cheese sandwich.

What kind of cheese was it?

And she was like, turkey.

Oh, man.

Oh, God.

That's horrifying.

Hold on a second.

What's the list of foods you don't fuck with?

Because

I think of you as like more of a crazy eater.

I'm a crazy.

Look, I'm picky.

Yeah.

What were roadblocks for us in the past were

I don't fuck with subs.

I don't fuck with bowls.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Bowls.

Let me slow you guys down.

Let me slow you guys down.

Subs,

you know, the types of subs.

You go to Jersey Mike's, it's all wet down and shit.

Like that stuff, I'm not into.

I'll eat a sandwich.

I generally like a sandwich or any sort of bowl.

Mike's way.

It's delicious.

I just like to make it myself.

Like, I don't like seeing a big mixed-up slop of things that came from someone else.

Okay.

And that's just some weird thing about me.

So I don't fuck with subs because I don't want to go to a place and get a wet-down sub.

Bulls, I with bowls, kind of, but I didn't want to be the arbiter.

This was when you guys were doing that competition.

That's right.

I didn't want to come in here and be like, Yeah, bowls are okay.

I think both of them were munched madness, yes, they were both were, I mean, coveted slots in the Doughboys uh schedule.

And I said, basically, get someone else because I don't want to, I don't know, I don't want to piss the fans off.

They want people to like, you know, give these places a good try.

I'm liable to not like a big mixed-up bowl of shit that I didn't didn't make myself i kind of get i kind of get that i do get it so and and then like certain things like sushi like i will like sashimi but i don't always like a ton of sushi mayonnaise is some stuff i don't with any sauce that seems very cummy sure sure i'm i'm not in on that we like the cummy sauce you and i like cummy sauces i'd say yeah for sure i mean like we're talking what we're talking mayonnaise we're talking sour cream we're talking ranch yeah big time this is where we're a top guy guzzle those sauces just a white sauce that you get on some halal.

It's a lot of fun.

One time me and Sean went out to dinner to a place that was pretty good, but the best part was there was

so good.

A bread course where each, there were three breads and each one had its own unique butter.

Yeah.

And the cornbread, I think.

Yes, there was a chicken butter and it was, it was like butter that was in the shape of like a chicken leg.

It looked like a drumstick.

Yeah, and it had like a weird...

I don't even remember what it tastes like, but I just remember being like, that's all I could think about was that fucking chicken butter.

I think about all this.

It was called Linden on hollywood boulevard great restaurant it had um bread crumbs on it to make it look more like fried cheese

it was just like it was really good thinking of next yeah delightful i went to ostrich motsa last night with joe and my mom and sister and i hadn't been there in a long time and i was like is it is it is it is it now ostrilliumsa like two is it old is it is has its time passed it by i was wondering this as i was there because it's a very it's like one of the fancy nice la restaurants and i do think it's great it's a it was and it was still good, but I was like, it's that sort of thing with the turnaround with restaurants.

I was like, this is like a 15-year-old restaurant now and it feels like it's dated or something.

Yeah, but I mean, a lot of times restaurant, that's about how long a restaurant lasts.

You know, those high-end restaurants, they turn over.

They're not always the institutions that last for decades.

Did you hear the news story of the, I don't remember his name, but the.

very famous chef who is behind Chinese laundry.

He, it's been like 15 years or something where he was so famous, so lauded.

And I guess it's sort of, you know, there's newer, bigger, more exciting restaurants.

And a reporter, a food critic, I want to say for like the San Francisco Times or maybe New York, some big paper

was there.

And she used a different name because that's sort of a thing that they do.

And the chef was there that night and he came out and he kicked her out because he didn't want her to write anything mean about it.

Wow.

And like held her.

Hell, held her is the wrong word, but like talked at her for half an hour while her friends were like, is this woman kidnapped?

Like there's people at a table waiting for her.

And he just basically was like,

Please don't say anything mean about my restaurant.

Like, it was driving him insane to have fallen out of favor.

And then she had to write an article about how weird this guy was to her.

Like, she didn't even review the food, like, does not mention the food one.

So, the guy's like, Total win.

Yeah,

I could take a hit.

It's just everyone needs to stay off the subreddit.

That's the lesson.

Just don't, everyone needs to not read the comments.

Yeah, we can't read the comments.

No,

I won't.

I refuse.

Looking down like a Rosh Shak.

I, uh, I, my, with the first, I remember going to Pizzeria Mozza with my mom and dad for the first.

So my dad passed away like 13 or years ago or something at this point, 14 years ago.

And

yeah, 13 years ago.

Who cares?

Well, I care, obviously.

Well, whatever.

He's down.

But

as dead, he's gone.

You know, my life changed forever.

Anyways, we went to Pizzeria Moza and

Vince Vaughan came.

And it was Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller.

Whoa.

For people not in LA, there's basically three different concepts that are all kind of that they're all Nancy Silverton restaurants.

They're all in the same block.

I thought you were going to explain Vince Vaughn to the people.

There's a movie called Swingers that came out in the 90s, kind of a cultural touchstone for people who were talking about it.

You know what?

It's a quintessential LA movie.

It's true.

Yeah, one of them.

But anyway, I was going to say,

there's Osteri Amoza, there's Pizzeriamoza, which is a little bit more casual, and there's Chief Spaca, which is more of a steak sort of concept.

Which is the newest of the three.

But Vince Vaughn opened the door, almost knocked my dad over, almost hit my dad.

And my dad was fucking pissed off.

He's like, I'm going to say something to him.

I'm going to say something to Vince Vaughn.

I was like, don't fight.

Don't get in a fight with Vince Vaughn, with your young son here.

And then also at that same restaurant, we were eating at Osteria.

We were eating at Osterilla Mozo next door.

And Rupert Murdoch was at the table over.

And my mom was like, go talk to him.

He's your boss.

Like, he's your boss.

Cause I worked at The Simpsons.

And I was like, he's not my, he doesn't know who the fuck I am.

He's not going to like me.

I don't want to talk to Rupert Murdoch anyways.

So I went, I didn't talk to him.

I would have talked to him.

Would you have talked to him?

I'd be like, hey, Rupe, what's up?

Good day, mate.

I get the lunches at The Simpsons, baby.

Goodbye, if you ever wanted me to get your lunch.

If Vince Vaughn had knocked your dad over, he would have been your new dad.

That is, it's like a circumstance possible.

And then

your dad would be alive.

You're a slick Mike Mitchell.

Yeah.

My politics will probably remain the same.

I think so.

Wait,

we dipped in the water a little bit, but

I want to dig in here.

Cause

the Twisted Metal Writer's Room, you were two of the people responsible for writing season two.

Distinct, you're on in season one.

Who put me in my underwear?

Yeah, who put Stu in his underwear?

Everyone unanimously.

Trying to remember if that...

That just felt like it was probably always happening.

I think I pitched it when I came in the room.

Yeah, you were just like, what if I...

I want me in my underwear all episode.

Yeah, no,

yeah, we all, we all

added clothes to you.

I do think, like, early on, like, maybe even Mackie said, like, in a season one, he was kind of like, I don't want this world to be sexless.

Like, there should be sex and like people experiencing bodies and stuff.

And I think we did take that into account.

Like, there's the big ball pit sex scene in season one.

So, you know, when it we had a chance for all the fans, the fans of, I'd say, Raw are the bears.

Sure.

Bear fans out there, a lot of you in the Discord.

I know you're there.

I know you listen for that very reason.

We're like, let's throw him a little fish biscuit, if you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

So we were like, look, Mitch is going to be naked.

Yeah, let's do it.

Here's some honey for you.

Yeah.

Some fresh salmon stream.

Here's a little picnic basket for the old bears.

Lick it up, bears.

As fun as how my mom, it was hard for my mom to watch that up.

She was She was clutching her pearls.

Yes.

It's some extreme situations that your character has put in.

But, you know, it's fun.

I feel like we should be aiming for your mom and other moms to be clutching their pearls.

I think that is the zone.

My mom loves this.

I mean, my mom, I remember I told you this before, Wax, but like

watching South Park with my mom for the first time.

I'd be like, my mom's kind of cool.

She's laughing.

She She likes it.

And then she was laughing at like jackass.

And she, she, I think if you showed her the Twisted Metal show without me, I think she still would have a good time.

I absolutely recommend it to my mother to not watch Twisted Metal.

I'm like, it's just not for you.

Like,

just know it's good.

People are having fun.

She's, she's, she's going to watch her boy show.

She's going to watch it, but I'm like, I am telling you, you're not going to like it.

But I don't know.

Maybe she'll like it.

I think she'll like it.

My mom's not going to watch it.

And I think that should be considered a huge endorsement for all the fans out there.

Exactly.

Mother not approved.

I'd be curious about the timeline a little bit because

new episodes are coming out here in August of 2025.

We're recording this in July.

Obviously, everything takes forever.

When did the writer's room begin for season two?

How long ago?

It was a month or two after the, at the end of the writer's strike.

So I think it was like the end of the year in 2023.

November 23.

Wow.

Ended April 24.

Yeah.

And then we shot that whole summer.

So it was a, yeah, it was a weird.

I think both seasons sort of started in December-ish, like end of the year.

So it was kind of weird to like write for a few weeks and then be like, all right, well, I'm going home for the holidays.

And then come back and be like, all right, now we're writing again.

I had a boyfriend when the room started and then didn't when we came back after the holidays.

Oh, I didn't realize that was the timeline.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It was a very interesting time to be writing, especially like

the fucking strike sucks so much.

Yeah.

And, you know, some of us were like, will we ever get to work again?

It's just like so scary.

So for the show to come back was like such a miracle.

Like we all got, I got to work for like a whole year and it was like, I felt so lucky because it was not everyone.

There weren't a bunch of rooms starting up.

So it was just such a like, I felt so bad for the studios that they had to bend so much for the writers.

Yeah.

They gave up a lot for sure.

Studio.

I was like, it makes me feel sad for the studios.

Yeah, it was too.

And the stream, specifically the streamers.

God, like Netflix and Disney.

Like, I don't know what to do.

So there's a GoFundMe for Netflix that I actually

have submitted to a few times, but I might maybe we put in the comments for this episode.

That'd be a good idea.

What snacks did y'all have in the room?

And or what snacks do you like to have in general if you're doing some writing or doing some thinking?

Also, how many Sarandases of family members do we have staffed on the show?

Wait, have we talked about our Nepo Baby story on the show?

Not Nepo Baby,

but a very funny thing.

I know

we've never talked about it.

We've never talked about a polar vacation.

Who cares?

I mean, it's funny.

We had a writer's

assistant.

Or script coordinator.

Script coordinator who was like, he was in the room.

He's a really great guy.

Lovely boy.

Matthew, right?

I wasn't sure if you were going to say that.

I was like, Matt or Matthew, but really great guy.

He ended up leaving the show to go do another job on another show.

He had another opportunity.

So good for him.

But, you know, he's hanging around.

It doesn't happen all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It doesn't happen whenever you leave midstream.

But it was fine.

It was totally fine.

So he's, you know, he's hanging out.

I'm sitting next to him every day.

And, you know, he's doing his little job, whatever.

And then he kind of says something where he's like,

yeah, like, you know, I could go to some NBA game.

He's like, mentioned something about an NBA game.

I was like, all right,

it was an interesting drop.

And then he said something like, my dad was coaching

the like Olympic national team or something.

Or it was like some crazy thing.

He was Going to the Olympics where I was like, wait,

your name is Matthew Kerr.

Wait, are you Steve Kerr's son?

Yeah, it was Steve Kerr's son.

No one knew.

MJ, I don't think knew.

Like, no one hired him because he was like Steve Kerr's son.

It's not a room full of people who are like salivating over.

Like half of us knew who Steve Kerr was.

But like, Ms.

Wigger and I would go crazy.

I mean, I went completely insane.

It was a the day was lost.

I was just screaming, like, how the fuck are you sitting next to me?

I had so many questions for him.

Then I started learning all this crazy shit about his family.

He was gone a few weeks later.

He had an, he worked on that show, Running Point, right?

Was it another basketball show?

It was a basketball show.

It was a different basketball show.

But so it was crazy.

Yeah.

We had a Nepo baby in there.

He was hiding.

His dad was draining threes next to Michael Jordan.

He's insane.

I got to watch Sean.

Like his face when he like caught a clue.

Yeah, maybe you guys knew before I knew.

No, I had no idea.

No, no, no.

Really, really was a total total surprise.

And you were the first to sniff it out.

He probably said stories like that.

And I just was like, he's super nice.

We like hung out a little bit before he left.

And I just was sort of like, I don't know, you're younger than me.

So I'm only,

I feel stupid because his last name is Kerr, but I think he might have said something early on.

Like, yeah, my dad's like a basketball coach.

And I was like, oh, he's like a high school basketball coach.

That's really sweet.

It could mean anything.

But Sean, who's like super even keel, I feel like most of the time, like he'd get passionate occasionally, but for the most part, you were like, I lost my fucking mind.

Literally screaming questions.

How dare you?

I got a quick question.

Emma Amelia, is either your last name's Bird by chance?

Amelia Bird?

You could tell us.

Yeah, it's okay.

Oh,

well, there is Michael Jonathan Sarandos.

Bird Brink.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

People have speculated that Amelia is related to Ken Marino.

Ken Marino is not all the time.

I'm not related to Ken Marino.

I'm not related to anybody famous.

The other one that's Dan Marino.

And then

she's like, Dan Marino.

She's related to Scorpion Marino.

That's right.

Yeah, that's right.

Scorpion.

Famous in circles.

He's definitely famous in circles.

But you asked about snacks in the room.

I honestly feel like our snack game was just okay.

I don't know if we were like really going off too hard.

The high-protein sort of snacks, I think, became.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, we were pretty yoked, pretty,

you know, a lot of like squats happening during pitches.

But yeah, those,

what are those sticks of meat that are turkey?

Chomps.

A lot of

chomps.

A lot of chomps.

I'm a bit of a chomp skeptic.

I don't.

I don't fuck with the meat sticks.

Yeah, they're like, they're, they're very processed.

I'm with you there.

They're really processed.

And then I feel like they're dry guys usually.

They're dry and they're so salty.

I just feel like they're, I don't know, not for me.

They're so wet to me.

I like wish they were more dry.

They're like, they have like a sliminess to them, but also like when you're biting into them i feel like they're making your mouth dry i don't know it's it's a weird i i just like they they're they're to me are so

they're just so artificial and in construct that i just i i have no interest in them you know what it's like uh you remember for a time and i'm not sure if they still have them They might still have them for kids, but Carl's Jr.

Hardy's has the chicken stars,

which are nuggets, but they're in a star form factor.

And I'm just like, this is, I know, this is so far removed from what actual food is.

I know that a nugget is not actual food, but still it like is an approximation of like a hunk of meat that now

when it's like a big long tube, I was like, I don't want this anymore.

BK chicken fries, the same sort of thing.

It's like, this is too absolutely the shape ain't right.

A tender, I can imagine like, oh, the tender was kind of pulled off the

breast or something, but yeah, you don't want the like little chicken dinosaurs.

I'm like, there's no dinosaur in the chicken.

I like that.

I enjoy the dinosaur chicken.

I love the dinosaur.

The dinosaur is actually more because you can't put the whole thing in your mouth in one.

Same with the stars.

The the chomp of a dinosaur is yeah true makes you have a huge mouth yeah uh it's fun to eat like the head or the body

it's more fun to bite into the dinosaurs with the star you're left with like a weird little nub like it's harder to break it apart jimmy seems like the beef six more heads up jimmy's getting the best pets in the world right now you also have some baby bell oh that's yeah there's some cheese going on i say this too about just about chicken mcnuggets is that the the dinosaurs actually did evolve into birds, so that's actually not that crazy.

That's a great point.

You just fucking served my ass.

And also, we're all made of stardust.

That's also true.

That's a great, great point.

I take back everything I said in the last video.

Oh, yeah.

This couch is knocking out of the park.

Wait, can I tell you what?

A writer's room revelation for us that I do remember was there are a lot of the same staples as far as like lunch menu.

I know you guys have talked about it on the show.

Goop Kitchen kind of came up in there.

Goop Kitchen is becoming a big Selman has told us this.

I just saw Selman at Comic-Con.

Goop is better than you want it to be.

I'm mad.

We were mad at how good it was.

We ordered it as a joke.

We were willing to waste one precious lunch of our lives on a total joke.

And then I think it was once a week after that.

I bet our pitches were better that day.

Like,

my thing with salads is at home, I'm too lazy to put enough ingredients in it to make them good.

But then Goop Kitchen's out here putting like 12 different vegetables.

Yeah.

It's dynamic crunches.

I want to hate it.

But was there any writer that was ordering the Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candle every week?

Yeah, MJ loved the vagina candle.

He's like, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Close his door and start.

I don't like ice cream, but I like this.

To MJ's credit and to your credit, you guys are both eating the food you don't like

for this theme month.

Yeah, Sean has honor and will be like, let me step down.

And I'm just like, sign me up.

And I'm just going to shit on him.

I will say, though, I did say recently that I will, I think, especially after trying catchustard on the show, which was something I thought would be completely disgusting.

Oh, right.

Yes.

I tried it because I said, if they ask me to eat something that I don't necessarily fuck with, I will fuck with it for the Doughboys.

And,

but you've asked me to do ice cream and other shit like that.

So it's been that's why we love you.

We had you up on the podcast in Toronto when we were up there for a Toronto Dough, and we talked about your ordeal with your luggage being missing for a for for like month.

A full calendar month.

Wow.

And I did end up getting it back after raising hell a little bit.

But, you know, I still love Toronto.

I love Canada.

I hate Air Canada.

But, you know, what am I going to be complaining about?

Airlines?

Who am I?

We had a, but I, I mean, we had a lovely time up there.

At least I did

for the week I was up there.

We were recording Dough Boys.

Mitch, you were up there for a time.

You were up there for a while.

Gilly, did you make it up to Toronto at all?

I certainly did.

You were up there for a bit.

So what, did did you have any good Toronto food experiences while you're up there?

Yes.

I arranged a dinner.

This was a fantastic dinner.

It was great.

That we

had three-foot noodles.

Yes.

It came with a pair of scissors.

I was, I mean, it fully selfishly, I wanted to have this.

So I was like, everybody, let's all have this.

Yeah, this is like a Chinese, was it like Chinese inspired or something?

Some Chinese restaurant.

And they gave us like a private room because the party was so big.

Yes.

And the food was generally pretty great.

Like there was like a Sechuan chicken that gives you that spice, like Sechuan peppercorn, that's like, it isn't hot, spicy, but you are.

Mouth stranger-wise.

What?

Oh, yeah.

We were blown each other afterwards.

I don't even know who it is.

I'm not going to do names, but everybody blown everybody.

And then, yeah, I had like killer.

I stayed in a hostel while I was there because I was there on my own dime.

I slept in a box.

I thought you said hospital.

I was like, what the hell?

Well, I slept in the horse.

Sleep in a hospital.

And, you know, you should be happy because that means less dead people if there's availability.

That is true.

No, I slept in a hostel.

And it happened to be like near the Chinatown of Toronto and just.

good food after good food.

I ate at a restaurant.

You know, Dr.

Bronner's soap.

There's like a lot of text on the label and you immediately realize like, it's the work of a madman.

I ate at a restaurant where there were like nine different menus that all had like tiny lettering that sometimes like went in a spiral.

And it was all he said that he made a new kind of noodle made out of green tea that has no carb, no gluten, like all of these things.

And that would be great for me personally because I like noodles and I have to like calculate how many like carbs and sugar.

And then I

realized like this man is nuts.

Like he was like, it improves brain function.

And as I'm eating it, I'm like, like, I think this is pasta barilla, but that's okay.

But everything just tasted so good.

The food in Toronto, I thought, was fantastic.

It was a great food city in my experience.

It was an incredible food city.

And, and, you know, the, I'm not sure, Gilly, if you had any fast food up there, but like, the, I've talked about it

at length of the podcast, ANW Canada, as far as chains that we've visited when we've gone on the road for the podcast.

One of my favorite fast food chains.

ANW Canada is so fucking good.

So, how do you feel about a chicken nugget shaped like a chicken drumstick?

Because that's what they have.

Look, it's the chicken.

It's actually the closest one.

That's not what I'm there for, but I do, but I do.

I'm down for the effort put into that.

I loved it.

Yes.

Yeah.

He's there for the teen burgers.

I'm there for the teen burgers.

He likes the teen burgers.

They wouldn't let me order the teen burgers.

I did have whatever the Big Mac thing

was.

Oh, the McDonald's.

Yes.

Was that it?

The Big Arch?

I think it was the Big Arch.

At McDonald's proper?

At McDonald's Proper.

I'm going to go ahead and say when I'm traveling, I eat so much that I do have to walk away from quite a bit.

Right.

I try to give it away when I can.

It's terrible waste, but I also, I got a munch.

I got a munch.

And I did kind of like, I had other like food prospects, so I did not

finish it.

You went all out when you were there.

I was, I was, I was genuinely impressed.

The big arch, which we reviewed for McDonald's Canada with Mike Hanford up for Toronto Dough, is

two

all-beef Canadian patties, specifically Canadian beef, with three slices of white processed cheese, crispy onions, slivered onions, pickles, lettuce, and arch sauce on a toasted sesame and poppy seed bun.

I like that.

I do remember enjoying that.

You liked the Big Mac.

I liked it.

Yeah.

Stick to the Mic Mac.

I lived right above.

So our writer's room was right above a McDonald's.

When I was in Toronto, I was renting this apartment that was right above the McDonald's on Bloor that was like near all of us.

Wait, really?

Yeah, I was right above that McDonald's.

Wait, I didn't know this.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't hang out with anyone.

I was so, I was so fucking tired.

Yeah, I lived right around the corner from you, Mitch.

I told you that.

Oh, we lived.

I was a five-minute walk away from you.

Mitch, we did meet up in that neighborhood a few times.

I remember that.

Yeah, yeah.

But if you're on set every day, it's a four-inch day.

Yeah, I'm working 12-hour days.

You don't have a lot of energy.

Yeah, my schedule, I don't even like thinking about what it was when I was there.

Also, you have to answer calls from me at the end of the day, being like, I fucked up today.

Mitch, you weren't even shooting today.

But I was really happy that I did not get McDonald's once when I was there.

But part of that is just that the food is so fucking good everywhere else.

I'm like, I had no reason to get McDonald's.

Like, I could get, like, I could walk down Bloor and go get like.

Indian food from somewhere where I'd be like, I don't know what this is.

I've never, no one's recommended it.

I'm just walking in there.

And I'd be like, this is like as good as any fucking place.

It was just, I don't know.

I hot take, I think the food is better in Toronto than LA.

Oh, wow.

Whoa.

Whoa, wow.

And I don't, wow.

I don't know.

I haven't eaten at every great LA restaurant, but just the consistency, like even restaurants that

I think like on the median level of food in Toronto is better.

There's probably better restaurants in LA, but

L.A.

is

a little bit in a struggle mode right now.

Kohl's is closing wages.

I mean, there's a lot of institutions that have closed in the last five years, specifically.

Six, I guess.

No, that's true.

We've talked about

some Anderson's Pea Soup, which is not L.A., but like like, all these places that I like, like, these are the cool old LA instead of these LA institutions have kind of folded or, you know, have receded a little bit.

I worry about fucking gitlada that we went to the other day.

Dear God, Gitlada closes.

That's like one of my top five LA restaurants.

Selena Gomez won't let it close.

Don't worry.

That's true.

Thank you.

Well, I think the food is great in L.A.

I just feel like I could walk in anywhere in Toronto and get something that was just better quality.

I ate.

Okay, we get it.

You like Selena Gomez?

I like Selena McGomez.

Jeez.

She's beautiful.

I said, Miamor.

That's how he squeezes nipples when she's like laying on a massage table.

It's gross.

It's one of his biggest fantasies.

It seemed like you were like, he's always texting me about it.

I'm like, Mitch,

I want to know about this.

Did you not realize you made a

sound?

Oh, that's all I did.

Mi amor.

Oh, that's what I was doing.

Yeah.

I thought you were kind of scolding her.

Yeah.

Don't marry.

Don't marry Benny Buanto.

I had a Michelin star meal, or if not Michelin Star, it was like a super up there fancy meal in a high tower that was overlooking CN Tower in Toronto, which is like a big, it's like their space needle, if I may.

Sorry, Torontonians, if I'm just telling tales.

What does CN stand for?

Not Cartoon Network?

Cartoon Network?

It does stand for Cartoon Network.

I have no idea.

It is Canadian.

It is taller than the Space Needle, I believe.

That Canadians will rush to tell you.

But it was great to eat at this restaurant because then you don't have to go to the top of CN Tower because you're just like right there looking at it.

And it was a super expensive, super fancy meal.

I went by myself.

I wanted to take it in.

Got really high and

ate a piece of bark that my food was sitting on because it was one of those.

And I worked really hard trying to chew off a piece of this bark.

So bite one didn't inform inform me.

It was one of those restaurants, a lot, a lot of places in Toronto and I think Canada in general, they're very proud of like foraging.

So it was all from the boreal forest.

It sounded really cool.

And then everything was on, it looked like a terrarium.

So it was impossible to discern what was the food and what was the plate.

They should have given you a heads up on that, that you're not supposed to eat the bar.

And they would literally come out and, you know, restaurants like that, there's like you're, you're being swathed in service, like constantly people coming over, seeing if you're okay, pouring things.

And like when the food comes out, they don't just hand you the plate and walk away.

There's a whole explanation.

But I think I was so high and everything literally looked brown, like bark on this one thing.

But I was like, I also got my front teeth sawed off when I got my braces off.

Like I had beaver teeth.

I had really long teeth.

Okay.

Like full beaver teeth.

And when my braces came off, they were like, you want us to take those down for you?

And I was like, sure.

So they were straight, but they were still like properly.

Totally.

Oh, god, my teeth were so

used them for the bark.

If you have, I don't have like the ridges, I that's what I'm saying.

I don't have the ridges that your front teeth have, mine are like chiclet edge.

Yeah, got it, truly, truly.

Like, I've had a chiclet in my mouth and been like, This is not my tooth.

My two front teeth have like squared-off edges, so I do sometimes have to like work it.

Billy, I hate to tell you this, and I've been holding this back, but this restaurant you went to, it was a treat.

Okay, Those restaurants, those people serving you, they were raccoons.

No, no, because when I gave the server my bag, he stuffed it in his cheek.

Okay, I guess that's normal.

By the way, we're saying bark so much.

Jemmy's starting to understand this podcast.

Has Jimmy ever barked in here?

She's like, this sucks.

Translating for Jemmy.

I think she's barked in the studio like maybe four or five times total, but never on mic.

Yeah.

Never while we're recording.

Mono friend Mono Agapion had a good either or.

Would you rather be able to speak all languages or be able to speak to animals?

Oh, speak to animals.

Yeah, I mean, going off my experience in Baldur's Gate, you definitely want to talk to animals.

Speak on that.

Well, it's just like you could talk to, like, you know, you talk to a squirrel in the forest.

You get all sorts of interesting context for what's going on.

You could talk to, maybe you're going to talk to a bull.

You don't realize you're an ox.

You don't realize this is actually,

you know,

some sort of a demonic entity in disguise that has a quest for you.

How many ox are actually ox?

You never know.

But also, sometimes just talking to a regular ox, and they'll just have ox thoughts, and that's fun to hear as well.

I couldn't think of someone worse to have the power to speak to animals than you.

Why?

Because he's not good at speaking to humans.

That is a really interesting point.

Yeah.

I feel like then he'd have like a little more of a sort of like genuine, like you're no nonsense.

Like, like seeing why you're talking to Wally Nerman and them just like leaving the room.

That's why I don't want to speak to animals.

A, because most of animals, I think if we could communicate with them, they'd just go, ah,

yeah, they would be scared.

They don't want to talk to us.

And then I think my dog, given the chance, would be like, leave me alone.

Wow.

I don't think that would be true at all.

Wally Norman were just constantly like, give us our freedom.

I'd be like, fuck.

Like, that would suck.

Well, I like when they, you know, because like they're they when they taught you know coco the gorilla to to to speak um through sign language and you know who knows i i that they're

i know sometimes they say that's maybe not real or whatever but all cocoa would say was like you like uh monkey want food show nipples monkey want food because coco really likes seeing like people's nipples yeah and then so now i do kind of believe it's real yeah that that actually does feel like the one thing a monkey would fixate on of like why are you covering your nipples yes yeah that's suspicious

um yeah they were like she loved robin williams i'll tell you coco cried and she found out he goes

she loved patch adams betsy will sit she'll send me videos of her sitting on her side of the couch wilma's on my side of the couch because i don't have a side of the couch it's the dog's side and betsy's just saying her name and wilma will not turn around for like as long as you're allowed to make a video and send to someone like there's a length where you're like i need to cut this off because who will watch it's that long and the dog will not turn around.

I don't like, it's rude.

It is so insulting.

I don't want to give that dog.

I don't want to know what she's thinking.

That's, that's, that's, and also, I'm like, like, what if Wally is mean or, you know what I mean?

Like, what if he's, what do he makes fun of me or says?

Nick's problem.

If Nick could talk to animals, would be Nick could find out every one of your guys, like, deepest, darkest secrets.

Oh, yeah.

What have your cats seen?

Yeah, they've seen some stuff.

They've, they've heard some stuff.

Like, i sometimes this is a thought i had when i was high one time i was walking around silver lake reservoir and there's a nice little dog park in there and this was during the the um pandemic so i was having crazy thoughts and i remember sitting there looking at all these dogs and going wow all these dogs have seen all these people jerk off

And then I thought, like, do people, and this was before I was like a pet owner, kind of.

So I was like, do people close the door and like usher the animals out of the room when they're jerking off?

Is there like a laziness that starts to occur?

Well, here's what I'll say.

She's not making eye contact with me.

That's true.

She's not standing up even.

So if they are in the room, they don't have like a view.

Yes.

It's weird.

I've had the thought of like, am I a pervert?

Is the next thing that I'm trying to get Wilma to come over and join?

Like, I've had all the thoughts.

Right.

They're not actively participating.

No, I know that, but

they are a living being that is in the room.

Funny enough, I can't jack off without them in the room.

Is your human need for privacy when doing a shameful act, does that, does that, you know, like

extend to animals?

I mean, this is my fault for bringing you back to jerking off.

I thought we were done talking about it, but I did have that thought.

It is very funny to see, like, Irma putting her head out taking a shit.

Like, and it does feel like a little bit like she doesn't want me to see her, but I'm watching them.

We watch them.

I think that's pretty insane.

Like, the way my dog poops is her back, her big ass feet are like in duck feet.

Like, I don't know what ballet position it is, but like toes out and her back is so curved.

And then she looks at me like,

Do you have to watch?

And I do.

I watch.

So it's like, it's, it kind of evens.

I've had the same thought because Jemmy will stare at me while she's pooping.

And I'm like, do you want me to not like look?

And I read that they actually look at you because that's their most vulnerable when they're pooping and they're depending on you to protect them.

We got in the back, so they're like, You have my back, mom, while they're taking a shit.

Now I stared directly in her eyes.

And this is why, when Mitch has to go to the bathroom on set, I will walk with him

and I'll look him in the eyes, I'll leave the door open.

You say, Good boy, I say, good boy, goodbye.

We have a few more pages together today, and then you get a treat.

Let's just, I'll just say, Oh,

you go ahead, you go first.

The first time I brought someone home sexually, uh, once I had the dog, because it was like pandemic, very weird times.

And

I was literally curious how she was going to react.

So I asked him if it was okay if I left the door open so that she could like come in and out.

Cause I thought if I had the door closed, she might kind of freak out.

And she fully thought this person was attacking me.

But she was cool.

She was cool.

She was a good wing woman after I like shoved her out.

We've talked about this before, but a dog bit my dick.

We've talked about this.

A dog bit Mitch's dick.

A dog bit my bear dick.

Yes.

And drew blood.

And then passed away from starvation.

Yeah.

Was the dog.

Jesus.

He bit my dick and then passed away from starvation?

Just not enough protein.

So now you've been Barmitzva.

Was the dog's name Moyle?

He drew a little blood from him.

I believe we've said this in the podcast before, but I'll say it again because it came up.

The night this happened, Mitch sent a group text that is like, I don't know, there's, there's like 14

there was a lot of people on, at least at the time there was.

Mitch just

sends that group text with no other context.

A dog bit my dick.

And then classic text.

Does not reply for like six hours.

Yeah, like, are you in the hospital?

What's left?

How?

I did bleed that.

We think that they thought it was the Kong toy, which we've said before, which is kind of like a little bit.

So your dick is a red honeycomb.

Yeah, they put peanut butter in it.

And there was peanut butter on my dick, to be clear.

Yeah, that's just fun.

But it's masturbation because it's your dog.

Are you laughing at that?

Yeah,

they think they thought it was a Kong.

We think it thought it was a Kong toy.

Wait, you are.

You are totally skating over the fact that a Kong toy is a red, like honeycomb shape.

What are you talking about?

We think that it maybe thought it was her Kong toy.

That's all we can say.

No, I know it was.

She's asking, what does your dick look like?

It looks like a Kong toy.

I know his cum is red.

So?

It don't look like much.

It looks, I mean, Kong toy ain't bad, I don't think.

But

is it bright red?

My dick is not bright red.

That's waiting for you to shape slightly like a snowman.

It's

it's no, it's not shaped like a snowman.

I think the dog was confused.

Yeah,

I agree with that.

I think what happened.

I don't think you were attacking your partner.

Yeah, yeah.

Was it sex were sexual things?

No, I think it just like, I don't know what it thought, honestly.

I think what happened is that the dog had some old-school 3D glasses on and closed one eye.

And it was like, whoa,

it's coming at me.

A weird bulbous thing.

It's red.

Mitch's dick, the ride.

First of all, it sniffed my butthole first.

Okay.

And then

my bear butthole.

And then it bit my bare dick.

I think that this is a sort of, this is one of those great reasons to maybe close the door, let the dogs do their own thing for a little bit.

That's true.

I got back at her, though.

I went down on her for like five minutes.

On the dog.

All right.

Jemmy switched caches.

But twisted metal.

I would never do that to you, Jemmy.

A ton of artists coming together.

It really is.

Let's talk about Coldstone Creamery, founded in 1988.

Hold on a second.

Before we get into that, I just want to talk about animal communication.

I would love to ask this animal communication.

I would love to ask her that question of what she was doing, but we got to talk about PyCon the Mighty Talcoon, which is an animal you can communicate with.

That's telepathically.

Oh, well, actually, that's a great question.

How does that work?

Is it telepathy?

Is it through the

waves that it's generating with the sound waves and underwater?

Like, I'm not quite sure exactly what's going on.

I inferred some sort of a telepathic connection because why would why would a, you know, a Navi intuit

the communication language of the mighty Tolkoon?

I mean, look, I think that we're, we're, we're close enough now to ask the both of you, are you excited about Fire and Ash?

I had a really good time seeing Avatar 2

high as hell on Christmas.

And I'll do that again.

Yeah.

And I will do it again.

But it doesn't like um mean anything to me sorry like ice cream the movies haven't quite moved me but fair to be fair i've not seen one in theaters with the 3d experience so this will be the first one i go to theaters and see

would you like to avatar 2 is going to be back in theaters would you like to go with me and johno jono is

i don't think the movies are like blowing me away but am i excited for a big budget fucking crazy movie to come out during the holidays i'll watch it i i love the movies just because they're just structured like, especially Way of Water, structured like video games or just going to new biomes and towns and just living there for a bit.

And then there's a big set piece.

But I mean, they're so broad and they're so grand,

kind of operatic.

And I don't know.

I find them super engaging.

And also, it's just like,

this is a thing I've said on the podcast before, and

it's nothing particularly novel, but it's like, movies are a thing you look at and listen to.

And these movies are just,

they're just such spectacular.

They're such spectacles on the big screen.

Yeah.

I saw Titanic for the first time two years ago

on Valentine's Day with Jandi Angelo and her husband, the longest couple.

I swore that I would never see it just to spite a girl in the fourth grade because I missed seeing it

because I had to have Shabbat dinner with my family.

And then when I got to the sleepover, everybody was talking about it.

And Dari Glow said I would die if I didn't see it.

Like just something people say.

And I just went, watch me not die, Daria.

Oh, my God.

And then I didn't watch it.

But then to make amends.

Dari's still alive.

She's thriving and never thought about me, I'm sure.

But I secretary of agriculture.

I guess I shouldn't say her name and her job, but she's doing really well.

But she.

I watched it because I had to miss Jen's bachelorette party for some stupid gig playing a fortune teller at the Detroit auto show, but I really needed the money.

So I swore to Jen, like, to make it up to you, I will break my lifelong vow and I will watch your favorite movie, Titanic.

Wow.

And it is really good.

Yeah.

I kind of want to hear more about this fortune teller.

Oh, it was such a bummer.

Uh, at a FinCon, a financial convention, they have a convention for everything.

Uh, we got Comic-Con, we got FinCon.

And I sat in a booth for Ally Bank.

They wanted me to wear a turban.

Um,

and I had to like stress over like, how am I going to not wear this turban?

Like, I can't wear the turban.

And it did not come in the mail.

So I didn't have to wear a turban, but I wore an Ann Taylor Loft white suit and an ally purple shirt.

And I should take that off my headshot.

We'll wear it.

We'll wear a turban.

Yeah, I think you should maybe, even if you don't want to print nuance, just kind of black out the line.

It's on your shirt.

It's not on your resume.

It's on your head.

Yeah, yeah.

It's on the front.

Yeah.

You're holding up a sign in your headshot.

Yeah, you have a Celtics hat on and you point to it and say, we'll make this turban.

But you, I just like sat in a booth.

And when people came by,

I just was like, show me your wallet and I'll tell you your fortune.

And I would look at like a dollar and be like, this wrinkle on this $5 bill says you're going to fall.

I had like guidelines of what I was allowed to say.

And I couldn't, I would be like, this means you're going to fall into a delicious dinner with an interesting stranger.

Like I kept it positive because I was supposed to.

And no matter what I said, people were like, really?

I'm going to find $100.

And you weren't even even wearing a turban.

And I wasn't even wearing a turban.

I'm not a real fortune teller.

I don't have a turban.

Somebody's watching this right now.

It's like, no, like,

the people who came to a financial convention also happened to be the people who are very susceptible to a totally fake activation in a booth.

Anyway, I saw Titanic and it was really, really good.

I had no idea that Bill Paxton was in it.

Oh, yeah.

Like there's a whole second movie in the present day.

Could have taken that right out.

And wait, did I show?

I think I might have shown you the alternate ending in the writer's room.

Have you seen the alternate ending?

The iceberg?

No, there's an alternate ending on YouTube.

The ship is really strong in the icebergs.

What is it that happens at the alternative?

It's a kind of

jarlin, the part of the heart of the ocean, and then she's like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, she dies in the shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, there is a crazy ending where, like, God, I wish I'll look up what it, what happens in it, but it's a really insane alternative.

The Abyss people find the gem.

Yeah, they're like, whoa, what's this?

The whale from Avatar 2 swallows it, and that's how they get to it.

Wait, can I say something about Avatar really quick?

So, Avatar is something that I like don't necessarily, it's not one of my favorite things.

I think I just wasn't in on it when it came out.

It's like, it's a weird way it hit culture.

Like, it was a little bit of a laughing stock, and then we've all come around to being like, it actually is good.

I don't know why we're making fun of it.

But what I liked about the second one was was i was like this is a craven cash grab

like not a cra but it's like a big giant expensive movie but like the people who made this are extremely when you're talking when you say craven cash grab do you mean craven the hunter yeah he's in there uh whatever no but i'm like it is it's some it's like a hollywood thing like we're making a big giant movie but the people who made it are so fucking passionate about it and i've like seen people talk about like you know cameron and how passionate is about it some of the effects people like definitely get fucked over in that world, but the movie just looked like it was made with like a lot of care and

it's something I like and twisted like not to be bring it back to twisted metal, but like I've been able to watch all of twisted metal as a producer and I know how much we put into it and seeing like how much our VFX supervisor Josh put into it and how much the stunt people put into it and how it all comes together, like I'm a person who will just cry watching something that I made because it's not even because it's sad or moving.

I'm just like, I can't believe this got made.

Sure.

Um, and I think that way about like Avatar.

I'm like, I can't believe he got he made Avatar.

Like, that there's something so crazy about that.

Yeah.

And I think this season of Twisted Metal has that same feeling of like

when we started thinking about this season, it was like, well, we'll see what actually happens.

Cause like we have all these crazy ideas and then it all gets pared down.

And it all, it's crazy.

And I like love this season so much.

I'm very passionate about it.

And I, it reminds me of like, yeah, it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but like people put so much fucking work into this.

Right.

And being on set and seeing the actors and everyone from like the top and bottom of the production puts so much fucking work into it.

I could talk to you about like our costume designer and how much work she put into like every detail of this show.

So I just wanted to sell it.

Like, if you like Avatar, you'll like Twisted Metal.

I mean,

I agree with you.

You were there.

I mean, you saw how much fucking work went into the show.

A thousand people.

People are so passionate about it still who have not, you know, I haven't seen them in years.

I see them posting about the show.

They're like super excited.

And just the timeline you're talking about, which is, you know, what, what the north of 18 months start to do.

An insane amount of work.

But like when you see something like Avatar get made and it's on screen, it's like, for me, it might not be my favorite thing, but I'm going to just respect it by going to see it.

And I just think people should give Twisted Metal a shot.

Like, it is, there's so much passion in this show.

And I think it comes across.

I think that's perfectly said.

I saw, I was at Comic-Con this last weekend and I saw George Lucas.

I went and saw his panel.

He was there.

What was he talking about?

He was talking about the Lucas Museum.

Yes, yes.

And I coming to LA next year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he was talking about story and stuff.

And he was talking about...

Well, Guillermo del Toro had a thing about how, about, that was anti-AI.

anti-AI.

You can't make art on an app.

You can't make art on an app.

And that is, and that is, and look, some things are your cup of tea.

Yeah, I am a little cranky boy.

There's a lot of stuff I don't like.

And, and, but, uh, but for sure, there are so many creative people that made the show, and, and that's what George Lucas was talking about too.

Oh, we almost had a spill.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, you were saying something, you were saying something very heartfelt.

I spilled the middle of it.

It's a, it's a doughboys episode.

Uh, you know what?

I almost spilled an Emma earlier.

It's uh, it's fine.

I'm just gonna, I don't have to finish the point.

Oh, what did George Lucas say?

No, Mitch, you spill.

Spill your thoughts.

Spill your heart.

He was talking about how, like, uh, he was talking about family and how, like, all the, like, he's talking about stories and effects.

And he's like, story comes first.

And you guys did such a great to compliment you guys.

The story is there.

And he was, he was, he is equating it to family.

He's like, he's like, it's a story about family and like Star Wars is and like all these things.

And in the bottom, in the end of the day, Twisted Metal also is a story about family, not, you know, not a traditional family.

But how, how was, how was Lucas saying it, though?

Uh, I kind of sound a little bit like this.

Waddle has a family.

You know, like

He's not wrong.

He was great.

He was making great points, as was Guillermo del Toro, and the third guy who was in the IOM documentary.

I forget his name.

Oh, that documentary is so fucking good.

He's like the star of that dock, is what I've heard.

But they were just making great points, and it relates so much to what you guys wrote in the room.

And it's like,

you know, like the story came first, and you guys did such a great job.

And it's a fantastic season of a show.

Yeah, we talked about this a little bit with MJ, but

we should dedicate a little bit of time to like, because you have, there's there's existing lore for twisted metal obviously there's some existing canon but it's relatively

at least from my knowledge of it y'all y'all have spent a lot more time with the ip but it's it's it's like a less defined versus some other video game adaptation every every new game kind of

uses some stuff from the past but redefines characters and redefines realities there's a whole game where it's kids playing and like with remote control cars like it is a pretty wide open canon which which I like so that we don't necessarily have to be tied to a bunch of like, you know, his last name is Solo kind of stuff.

Sure.

We do some of that, which I think is pretty fun.

But

yeah, we just, we, we get, we get to like, like, to use George Lucas's term, like we rhyme with the games a lot.

Yeah.

Like, I think a lot of stuff we try to do is like something like that happened in the game.

So we're going to do something like that, but a little bit different.

And yeah, it was fun to think of ways to do it.

A lot of brand new shit that we just came up with.

Yeah, it is.

I did not grow up playing the game.

There were people in the room who did.

So at like so many different resources in that way.

And then, of course, we just would look stuff up constantly.

It was so fun to learn how absolutely wacky the game was like on the job.

But it is also so wide open.

Like quiets an invented character.

Yeah, you know, there are multiple new characters for the show and then characters from the game.

There's just a lot going on and a lot to take care of.

And MJ is so good at like, you know, we will have an idea that's kind of fan servicey and then mj will like figure out this way to make it like perfectly fan servicey for the people who play the games and if you've never seen any of it you'll be like well that's just funny it felt a lot more like fodder for comedy rather than having to like just kind of adapt an existing story so there could be those nods and a lot of really fun minor characters were inspirations but then also things were we got to just like pitch characters yeah there are some characters that hit the cutting room floor that I'm like, God, I won't say them because maybe they will be used in the future, but there were some dumb ideas that I do think people will be like, oh, that is from the game.

We'll be like, no, just we thought that we thought of some stupid guy.

But they fit in, but then you're like, this is a little too funny.

And then you're like, okay, okay, they invented it.

But I know a lot of people who won't continue with watching The Last of Us because they're like, I know what's going to happen.

Yeah, or they saw enough deviations from the established story, which I've, I've, you know, I've played the, the, the, the, the shit out of the Last of Us games, and I do really like them as games, but like, the story is so like, like, like, established.

And so, if there's any sort of like, hey, we're going to make this narrative change for pacing or, or, you know, just because this is, this feels okay in a game, but feels weirder on television or whatever, then the fans are going to naturally rebel.

Yeah, but it's the most fun

world to be in that, you know, MJ and you guys all did such crazy fun stuff for season one, and then to come in and it's it's basically like getting to write a like Looney Tunes.

Like the characters are that huge, have that big of a game to play.

It's also a comedy, so we can do kind of whatever we want.

Yeah.

I'll tell you one character that we scrapped that I know we won't end up doing.

So this is in, I know we're not going to do this.

So somewhere in the end of the season, there's a bit of something going on and someone goes to like what is like a rest stop, I'll just say.

and we were like what if this guy collect this is so doughboys we're like what if this guy collected cum in jars okay

go on go on he was in for a really long time

multiple like

ideation sessions of like what are these episodes gonna be like and

um

I'm not giving away anything about the season, but we cut the cum guy.

But not because he was a cum guy.

It was just not working for other reasons.

But the cum guy would have existed.

True.

We just lost so many Doughboys listeners as viewers.

The cum guy is cut.

Yeah.

There is an Easter egg, though.

There's a cum guy.

Oswald gets on X and maybe he can save the cum guy.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's like we will spend weeks talking about some cum guy and then we're like, yeah, let's move on to some other crazy things.

That's fun.

It's a kind of fun job.

Yeah.

Doughboys listeners just sitting in a darkened like Howard Hughes den filled with cum guitars.

I want to see myself up on screen.

He's the one who sued us, us, which is why we couldn't do it.

It's interesting to hear that process.

And I like, like, I don't know.

I think that's, you know, having seen and enjoyed season one and still, as of this recording, not having seen season two outside the clips that have been released, like,

I've really enjoyed just seeing where the show has gone.

I'm excited to see where it goes in season two.

Yeah.

This is my first time getting to.

I didn't go for filming.

Like, they can't bring everyone, obviously, but I got to sit in on some sound mixes and got to see some of the vfx and uh stuff like before and after color correction so this is my first time getting to see that process i've just never been around or i've you know it's happening in another state uh and it is literally crazy how every single person who's touched it since the writer's room ended is a genius at what they do an artist and really funny Like the sound effects people are really funny because there's so many unique weapons and cars that, like, each one is given its own personality and attention.

This is okay to say, right?

Absolutely.

I'm like, this is my first time getting to do it.

And then I'm immediately like, you're never doing it again.

I'm being cautious.

But

yeah, every single person, and they're like engineers.

They have crazy skills.

Have you guys given a shout out to Josh?

No, but we should.

Josh was our VFX guy.

One-man VFX team on set, running around with this little like chrome ball.

He rules.

We would be shooting stuff and like

something would just be like in the shot, like a fucking big light.

And we're so pressed for time and shit.

It would just be like, Josh, can you paint that out?

And the amount of things we threw at Josh.

I was like, well, you know, these TV shows and VFX, it's like, oh, God, like, do we have enough time to render them and make them look good?

The finished product of what Josh was able to accomplish with the amount of money he had and just the schedule.

And

it is so fucking Herculean what he did.

Shout out to Josh, our VFX supervisor.

Just an incredible job.

I mean, you see characters like Axel, like Josh did a lot of fucking work on that.

And he has a fantastic sense of humor, which is so crazy to think of, like, I don't have a tangible skill to fucking speak of.

And he has a

funny thing.

Because I think they have to like fully be tapped in to such such a silly world to

like you'd think it wouldn't matter but every single person that i met maybe they're not like uh you know talking about come and

sure or uh you know getting on the mic josh was talking about

excuse me that's the dumbest example fully fully did but they're maybe not like hams like we are but they they are so keyed into what is great about the show.

So it's just, it's, it was so, I hope they do a BTS.

I was screaming about that at the last

stuff, I think.

I don't know what will come out.

People got to see the, the look, because it's magic what happened live, truly like actual stunts, actual explosions.

I believe maybe Grant, someone told me that they set off the most explosions in Toronto during filming of Twisted Metal.

There was some crazy shit.

People were seeing explosions from planes and stuff.

It was crazy.

And then used to that up there either.

It's a very peaceful country.

Yeah, very, very peaceful.

Yeah.

It's, I mean, we're obviously like plugging it, but it's really pretty cool.

Do you want to maybe explain the chrome ball?

Because I think you made him sound like he's doing magic or something.

When you have to do like a VFX shot, you got to like kind of go into the shot empty and just like rotate this chrome ball.

And do I know what it is?

It looks like a T-1000's nuts.

It does.

Yeah.

It absolutely does.

The left one, the better one.

Do I know what it does?

You know that nuts text filled with some chrome color.

Okay, so people's cum is

the same color as this.

Yeah, it is now.

Right.

I don't want to tell y'all, but black people have been keeping a secret from y'all for a long time.

You lied, earlier.

When the T-1000 shoots out a low, does it then just go back into his face?

It forms into a little baby and starts being it.

This whole time we were talking about calm and then skin color, I was just imagining you guys coming peaches and cream.

Speaking of ice cream,

peaches and cream cream, yeah.

I love the Josh shout out.

yeah he's uh he's he's the best i mean and and also you guys were were such a great crew i mean the writing staff was so great and uh it you could tell when you go in there and you're such funny people and uh that's where it all starts so it's it's i can say i because i because you know i have i'm taking this aside from being friends with y'all but i like i just like you you can feel the energy when someone is promoting something they're just like yeah you know this thing is coming and like like even if they're turning it on for uh the the podcast talking to the mov pod you can tell that they're just or they'll just candidly be with you Like, look, it's, I'm, it's not, whatever, it's not high art, but I've got to promote this fucking thing.

Um, everyone who's worked on Twisted Metal Season 2 is like so like uh happy with how it's come out and so proud of it.

And and uh, I think that's a very strong endorsement for people to check it out.

It's a credit to not already watching, it's a credit to the captain, of course.

Like, MJ

has made this incredible show, and yeah, I think people are gonna fucking love it.

And Mitch is so funny in it.

No,

he literally got to sit around at a table with really lovely, really funny people and just think of awful things to do to mix.

Some of them we didn't get to do.

Some will happen.

Yeah.

I literally have health insurance for another year.

Just

thinking of horrible things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The more you get hit in the nuts, the more I get to like get a breast exam.

I won't lie.

It does happen a couple times at least.

And Josh, if you're listening, if you want to make me a little bit more jacked before the episodes drop,

a little jacket.

Yeah, he wants to do some more of that.

He's going to give you two chrome balls.

Yeah, a bunch of the episodes are already us.

We can do like a Lucas re-release of the

special edition.

Coldstone Creamery, founded in 1988 in Tempe, Arizona, about a thousand locations globally, owned by Kahala Brands, same as Pinkberry, which we discussed on a recent episode.

Yeah.

And with Grant and Patty.

Which we thought with Pinkberry was fine, kind of, right?

I think we kind of landed on a

pretty negative space.

I mean, I think we were like very

lukewarm at best.

Pinkberry sucks.

But Pinkberry, we weren't very excited about.

Last reviewed in 2022, we did the Mario menu with Heather and Matt, and they do a lot of branded tie-ins.

It feels like...

With ice cream, Twisted Metal was a missed opportunity for Coldstone Creamery.

Honestly, I'd just say, like, with all the ice ice cream parlors that are out there, it feels like I know there was a

salt.

Was it Salt and Straw or was it Jenny's?

Oh, yeah, it was Salt and Straw.

Salt and Straw Season One.

So there was a flavor, but it feels like, I don't know.

I don't think it was available in a lot of stores.

It wasn't, which I wish it had been.

They saved me scoop because I wanted to try it.

So I really wanted to try it.

It was basically at Comic-Con.

Yeah,

and I think they were sending like pints to influencers or some bullshit.

What was the name?

Do we know?

Sweet Tooth.

It was like Sweet Tooth.

Yeah, it was.

It was Sweet Tooth Come.

It was not Sweet Tooth.

That is not what it was called.

That's what we called it.

Yeah, yeah.

Sweet Tooth Come or something.

That's just Mitch's.

That's her private reserve.

That's her own mask.

So right now they are doing the birthday cake Oreo celebration promo.

And one of the things they're pushing is the birthday cake Oreo ice cream taco.

The problem is multiple code stones were out of stock of this bad boy.

So we were not able to sample it, which I'm very disappointed by because I'm a fan of the Chaco Taco.

I love birthday flavor.

I was very excited to try this novelty, and we just weren't able to do.

I will say that, and I want to know what you guys think.

The Chaco Taco is,

I think, maybe my favorite childhood ice cream treat.

Wow.

In Miami, where I grew up, like you would hear like an ice cream truck rolling down the street and you would grab 75 cents and like run out and try to catch it.

And when I caught that dang thing, it was either sometimes it was a chip witch, but it was most of the time a choco taco.

And that,

it's not, and it's not just a cone and ice cream.

Like there's some like carameli shit going on in there.

The like chocolate dip cover, like it was really something.

And when they had it at Taco Bell, that was also great.

Chaco Chaco was my number one.

It is so good.

So I was looking forward to trying this taco, but bummer, they didn't know.

I found my ice cream truck, which by the way, played Rockaby Baby, which I've always thought was extremely creepy.

I didn't think about it till I was like 11 and I heard it go.

I lived by a park, so I would hear it all the time.

And it's like, why are you trying to put us to sleep, ice cream man?

What are you doing?

It was all, the chocolate chaco was always freezer burned.

And so

this was really, I was excited.

I think I didn't order it, but I was going to like sneak a bye to somebody.

Nick genuinely was excited.

Like you were actually really pumped for it.

So I'm so sorry.

I was excited to try one that was like at least more fresh, but it wasn't to be.

Can I say something about my ice cream man as well?

Yeah.

Um,

definitely

sold illegal fireworks.

Yes.

Definitely sold probably drugs.

What's your ice cream man sweet too?

I was I was just thinking.

I was like, my ice cream hand was a kind of deranged lunatic.

Yeah.

I think he did get arrested at some point.

I don't remember for what.

We were always saying it was because he was like a pedophile or something.

I think it was because of illegal fireworks.

I hope it was that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It'd be so much more fun.

You hope he got away with the pedophilia?

No, so no, no, no.

But it is interesting that Sweet Tooth drives an ice cream truck and is an absolutely deranged human being.

We all, I think, imagine them to be.

Yeah.

Actually, it's a mail truck.

It's a repurposed mail truck.

Oh, that's really interesting you say that.

It's that, like, yes, but that's not on like on-screen lore, right?

That's like behind the screen.

It's an ice cream truck.

It's a technical detail, but it's canonically an ice cream truck.

It was hot as hell.

That thing sucks.

I don't know if you guys have ever gotten to be inside.

Did you ever go in it ever?

Um, oh, yeah, I've done things in it, but never when it's like moving.

A true nightmare of a, of a vehicle.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I, I, there are parts of this where I was kind of worried for your safety specifically.

Um,

uh, I won't say for any reasons why, but there was a lot of yeah, there may have been a moment or two I remember that was uh that we we probably can't say out loud, but but um, yeah, the the truck is kind of a nightmare for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it leaked as well, but it, but yeah, we had Don's joke shop wise, and that's where they sold pipes in the back room and stuff like that.

So they're, you're talking about like not for ice cream novelties, but for like a secret drug shop.

Yeah, secret drug shop was Don's joke.

So there'd be like a whoopee cushion.

Then you're like, I want to like smoke weed out of a pipe.

And then they have pipes in the back room.

Yeah.

Sad to hear you can't feed your family off whoopee cushions alone.

The whoopee cushion business is slow.

You can't have a brick and mortar if you're doing whoopee cushions alone.

Don's joke shop was stayed up until like the 2010s, I believe.

Like I was like shocked that, and I think it was just because it was a head shop, basically, in disguise.

Do you have anything like that?

No, well, I mean, the one I'm thinking of just was the, there was a store in West LA called Famous Sports Videos that was like, you'd walk into it.

It looked like it was sports memorabilia.

And they had a bunch of just like, this was back in the, you know, VHS DVD days.

They'd have like a bunch of videos of like, you know, the like the greatest dunks or sports bloopers or whatever the fuck.

But then the guy would be like, hey, you want the really good stuff?

The really good stuff's in the back.

And then the back of the store was all porno.

Hell yeah.

There are no innocents in this goddamn world.

We had, we would go to Venice Beach to buy tobacco pipes.

Yeah.

And then like, you know, a bunch of like 16-year-old girls.

And then they'd be like, do you want to test it out?

And then they would close down the, you know, shade of this like beachfront shop.

And then they really sold salvia.

Oh, wow.

I paid so much money for salvia.

Oh, my God.

So like, you're a kid, you'll pay.

Wow.

Salvia, a.

Highly hallucinogenic drug.

You probably trip harder than you ever have for about a minute.

It's really good for when you're a kid and you have to go home and do homework.

Yeah,

I recommend it.

That's what 18 and under.

When I was in Boy Scouts, we were camping in this park once, and it was, I went into the men's room, and it was one of those, you know, like someone has like graffiti on the walls.

Good way to start a story.

In the Cub Scouts, you went to a men's room.

Well, Boy Scouts, a little older than that, but yeah.

And, but in the

uh, in the men's room, someone had written, like, uh, like, if you want your dick sucked, like, like, come back here, like, this, you know, like, like, like Wednesday night at this time.

And we're being on this camp out, and we're like hours from where we live.

But I was like trying to be like, okay,

if I get on a bus,

I can be here in three hours.

I can come in here

and get my dick sucked.

Well, I don't know.

Cause I'm just I'm like, I'm like 12 years old.

So I have like just a horny kid's brain.

So I'm just like, oh, if I come here on Wednesday night, I can just get my dick sucked, and that would be, then my life would be bad.

This sounds like a really fun, like, kid comedy where it's like, instead of lose your virginity, it's like, dude, I can get my dick sucked in the

forest bathroom.

Yeah.

And it's either way long gone that they wrote this, or this person has a standing appointment on Wednesdays.

Yeah.

Or, and also, what would they do if a child showed up?

Probably not like not good.

Probably not.

That would be a good situation for them.

I think the end of it is it's a memento situation where you wrote it.

Yeah.

And then he gets up there and he's like, well, I guess he'll soak me a little bit.

Oh my God.

So we didn't get the birthday cake Oreo ice cream taco, but we did get the, at least I got the birthday cake Oreo celebration.

The sizes they have.

What year is it for Coldstone?

What's the celebration here?

I don't know if they're celebrating an anniversary because

they found it in 1988.

It sounds like it's just like they have birthday cake flavor and they want to it's not like a big milestone for cold stone i don't think

37 the big 37 no it's it's more that like i i this like you know the i i i think just like it's it's the name of their this sort of a the birthday flavor like it's just that that's sort of like the celebration is just like a little bit of of language to evoke i will say it seemed like on their menu they had a lot of birthday cakes available so maybe it is kind of a birthday vibe plus birthday cake oreo is the flavor combo right Right.

So maybe some birthday cake part is the celebration.

Oh, right.

Okay.

Or maybe Oreo.

Maybe Oreo's got a big

media right now.

It just says birthday cake Oreo celebration.

So I'm thinking birthday celebration.

I think they're using celebration liberally.

I think they are too.

But yeah, it's more just part of the

copy.

So anyway, this is birthday cake Oreo cookie ice cream, birthday cake Oreo cookies, rainbow sprinkles, and Oreo cookie frosting.

We also get a couple of those for the table since we were not able to get the tacos to share.

Look, I love a tsunami alert warning for tonight.

Anyways, keep going.

I love birthday flavor.

I love the birthday Oreos.

Golden birthday Oreos are my favorite.

What's going on?

What happened?

Hold on a second.

Is there a tsunami?

What's going on?

I will not die in Headgum Studio.

I also was reading the tsunami warning.

That usually means there was an earthquake somewhere, right?

It's in Japan.

It says for Japan and Hawaii for right now, but Southern California soon.

Okay.

Okay.

That'll be all right.

That's a little stressful.

Look, if we're going going to swim out of head gum together, we'll do it.

I got to sleep on the Queen Mary once, shooting something for Abominable Pictures when I was an assistant.

Otherwise, I would have had to drive home at like two in the morning, come back at six.

They got you a hotel room on the Queen Mary?

It was already rented out for shooting.

I literally actually can't remember which show, but some shows.

Is that scary as hell?

Well, I woke up to a thousand missed calls.

It wasn't scary.

I would have been scared.

I don't like ghosts and I know it's haunted.

I was so tired.

I didn't even sleep.

I like passed out there.

And I woke up to 1,000 calls from my mom and the line producer, who is a nice woman,

Franny Baldwin.

I'll shout her up.

And

there was a tsunami warning.

And to these two kind women, they were like, Gilly's at sea.

Oh, yeah.

She's on her boat.

It's not a good place to go.

And I like see all these calls.

And I just listened to the most recent voicemail that's like fully panicked, like, there's a tsunami.

Get out.

So I like literally put a bra on over my shirt, go running out into the like

hallways of the Queen Mary, and everyone is unbothered completely.

It is actually not alarming at all.

And you're also not at sea.

The Queen Mary is fully attached by like, right?

It is completely stationary, uh, basically on land.

Like, you're like over the side of the water.

And I did not get to sleep in at all.

And it was totally pointless that I slept there.

That's maybe that's not like a story.

That's a great story.

I was woken up so scared, and then absolutely nothing happened.

You think the ghosts are going to get you and then it's

tsunami.

Ghost ship.

And there are ghosts in the ocean, famously.

That's twisted metal lore.

Yes.

Ghosts in the ocean.

That's twisted metal lore.

Look, I love birthday flavor.

I like rainbow sprinkles.

I think they're a lot of fun.

This had some Oreo cookie frosting.

I love this.

And I'm eating this and I'm like, Because again, the sizes are like it, love it, and got to have it.

Yeah.

With your cold stone stone size.

I don't like that.

I'm eating this.

I got myself a like it.

I'm like,

gotta have it.

Yeah, you wanted to get it.

This is fucking good.

I really liked it.

But also, this is so up my alley.

This is like so specifically for me.

And I'm curious y'all's reactions to it.

Because, Mitch, you seemed less enthused.

I didn't like, I didn't.

You didn't like it.

I don't got to have it.

I don't love it.

I don't got to have it.

I don't even like it.

Why?

You didn't even like it.

I didn't even like it.

Wow.

I got to say this.

It is so artificially birthday flavor to me, which is an artificial flavor, anyways.

There's no like, you can't get like genuine birthday, organic birthday flavor.

But it's to me, and this is my complaint about Coldstone Creamery.

Just a sugar, the sugaresty sugar bomb there ever was.

It's so sugary to me.

I just am not,

especially the birthday cake flavor

was the bottom of my list.

Here's what's interesting about Coldstone.

Like when that place first came out, it was cool to to go and watch them mash up all the ice cream in front of you like to see to pick your toppings and get it all mashed together like but you don't like that anyway you don't like that but but i'm at least seeing it and it's it's it's not like vinegar and

oil or whatever sure sure sure so i the to not the fact that they have their own like concoctions and like that's not fun for me like to me cold stone is like i go there i see what my eye catches in their little candy whatever, and I mix it all together and I eat a bunch of trash.

So to have them be like, this is our special invention or our own little version of it, it just takes some of the fun out of Coldstone.

So you could have customized it.

I could have, but I didn't go there.

And I think part of it, too, is like, I like watching them fucking put it on the cold slab and

that is cool.

That's a cold stone.

That is what was cool about it.

Look.

I do like that there is a cold stone that they make the thing on.

That is, I think that is a point for cold stone creamery.

It's just what comes out of it.

It's a cool gimmick.

They paved the way for the rolled ice cream craze that's completely fucking stupid, where they just literally freeze or burn your ice cream and then curl it up.

What did you think, Gilly, as someone who kind of likes, doesn't really like ice cream?

So Coldstone was my pitch because I think it's really funny.

Yeah.

I think it's so funny that there's exactly like you said, like you go and you point to some things and then they literally just like Swedish chef style to sauce it up.

It was also like an event when it, I can't believe that it was open in 88 because I didn't get it in my neighborhood until way later.

No, I remember, well, because like, I remember when it came to the West Coast.

And you know, obviously started in Arizona, but like actually to you know, the Pacific.

I remember it was a, it was a similar sort of thing.

I was, I was staying, my, my, I was, my brother was in college at the time.

I was staying with him.

And he, there was one that opened in San Diego.

I was like, we got to go to fucking Cold Stone.

It was fucking big ones.

You were like, oh, I'm going to take the girl.

I'm kind of wanting to take on a date to Coldstone.

Like, it wasn't a very good thing.

Maybe it's Beyonce, and your name is Koala.

Yeah, me and Beyoncé are going to go.

That lie that he's told us for years.

Yeah.

Yeah, Matt Koalak told us he took Beyonce to, and while he was in high school, he also went to Beyonce's high school in Houston.

And he said he and Beyonce had a day date at Coldstone Creamery.

And then he also said that Jay-Z kicked his ass at the backstage of the BET Award.

Wasn't that what Koalak said?

Is this Koalak at the backstage of the BET Awards itself?

I'm writing on it.

I bet you Kuala saw a queen bee near a Coldstone breaker.

And that's like what he led to his lie.

He like flicked it inside.

That's cool.

This guy, Jordan, that was in like my circle of friends worked at the Coldstone at the Calabasas Commons.

It was like one of the later open things in my neighborhood, which is so sad, like what social lives we were able to have.

And at like 8.58, he would get to start like cleaning up and he would lock the front door so that all the customers that were in could leave but no new customers would come in so we would all slip in at like 8 57

and then wait till all the regular customers would leave and then we would make the most disgusting ice cream creations wow like i i kind of

do that sometimes like i like to make

yeah so probably other people made good stuff but i would be like just everything in there.

So it was a bad mix.

So I actually really appreciate when they have suggested, this was really the best time I've ever had because I don't know.

Like I always want to put one thing too much.

Yeah.

I'm customizing it too much.

And so this was the most I've ever enjoyed Coldstone because I got to sample the tried and true, like founders favorites.

Like there's, there's some like.

a lab creating these mixtures, right?

There's like a whole team of people.

Totally agree.

Give me some curation.

Don't make me make the decisions.

You make the decisions.

Like, like I, because you can get analysis paralysis trying to come up with a perfect concoction, and then you can also fuck yourself.

And you add to, like, you were saying, you had too many things, and all of a sudden, it's unkopachka.

I'm not enjoying this anymore.

You know, like, I thought that was part of the fun, but I see why it's like, all right, give me something that you guys have curated.

But I thought part of the fun was like getting in there and trying stuff.

If you can be trusted.

Yeah, I think it, I think it just depends on your, your personality type or, yes, your, your judgment as an individual.

I always am, am just stressed out.

And so I like having something where they're just decide, this is one we think works.

Here's what I'll say about the stuff we got today.

Yeah.

Other than the banana one that I think Gilly got, this was banana caramel crunch, French vanilla ice cream with roasted almonds, banana, and caramel.

Other than that, like

they're all kind of tasted this.

And it is

a part of the issue.

I'll also say, I mean, we did get a few birthday cakey things, but like, I like anytime I got a big chunk of something, I was happy.

Like, I think I had some cookie thing in mind, and there were some chunks of brownie and some other stuff.

Like, hey, give me some chunky ice cream.

I'm down with it.

But, like, now that I sit here, like, I don't know, an hour and a half, an hour and 40 plus minutes from eating the ice cream, I do not remember one distinct thing about any of the ice creams except for the banana one.

I think that's what I'm saying.

You just feel gross.

You just feel gross and sugared out and creamed out.

The cake, batter, batter, batter, which

a one you got, Gilly, cake, batter, ice cream with cookie dough and brownie.

If I blind tasted that

with the birthday cake Oreo celebration, I'm not sure if I could discern one from the other.

I think that's that's that's a fair one.

I was disappointed in that one.

I got it because I wanted to get one of the pun names.

I mean, let's a lot of dough pun names.

Yes, a lot of dope puns.

I mean,

they're made for you.

I thought the name was funny.

Um, it is funny.

It's coming in on our territory.

This is like mostly what our podcast is, is doing dough puns.

I thought it was weird that it was three batters because isn't it like hey hey batter batter like or or

or it should be like five to ten yeah i think three was uh strange maybe the maybe it's like supposed to be cake batter batter batter okay like it's like cake battery one thought you know i don't know still

that voice change you did there yeah yeah chameleon cake batter batter batter

where does wiger end and the voice begin the ice cream tasted i think it it was supposed to be, can you read the ingredients?

Do you have them handy?

Cake batter, batter, batter was cake, batter, ice cream with cookie dough and brownie.

And then the cookie, don't you want some was French vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips, cookie dough, fudge, and caramel.

So some overlapping ingredients.

Yeah, the cake batter, batter.

It's the same exact thing.

And then

if that ice cream was cake batter flavored, you missed me.

Yeah, sure.

It was just like sweet, creamy.

But yeah, the chunks of cookie dough rocked, but you're like.

Also, I don't love that all of these creations are spoon only.

You can't lick a cold stone ice cream.

Well, and the other thing that happens is

actually, I do want to ask you, Gilly, but before I forget, did you get to work the cold stone or was Jacob doing it?

Jordan.

Jordan, I apologize.

Oh my God.

We all completely abused that location.

He let people behind the counter.

Wow.

We weren't like purposely trying to be,

no one like spit in anything.

I wasn't like super mean spirited.

But I think it's that thing when you're a kid where you find out someone has something you want and then everyone swarms on them until it's a nightmare for that person uh so yes i did get behind they did the thing uh with the tip jar yeah i did is that every location was like they sang us they rang a bell it was like very jamba juice they would sing like us like just sort of like it's the suck of love and then be done yeah like they it was very very brief

i come from corporate and i don't i don't think i like it i i agree i don't and i don't like the because i when I've witnessed it happen, you put some cash in the tip jar, and someone's like, hey, we got a tip.

And they got, you know, like, Camptown races sing this.

You know, they're all doing some fucking song.

And, and it felt like always kind of joyless from the staff or whatever.

Yeah, the tip.

Like an obligation.

The tip is supposed to be for what they did.

Not to pimp them into doing something.

Yeah, yeah.

It was a little sad, but I would like beg people to pretend to tip me.

And I would sing a lot.

But yeah, I got behind the stone.

The ice cream is harder to work, I think, than you think.

They really like spend a while.

I never did that.

It looks like a skill.

It's like Benny Hanna.

I'll disclose something that I say in my intro that I found in my research for this revisit of Coldstone Grimmy that didn't realize.

You maybe heard of Marble Slab.

Marble Slab, I always assumed, was Coldstone Ripoff.

Marble Slab predates Coldstone.

And in fact, Marble Slab was itself a rip-off of another ice cream concept, Steve's, that came about in in the 70s and that invented the whole idea of mix-ins on a filled slab.

And Steve didn't even call it mix-ins or I got a cold.

Steve copyrighted the term mix-ins,

but sold off his business before it became a whole thing.

This is a very Hydrox versus Oreos.

100% Gilly.

This is a writer's instinct.

That's the crux of my intro.

Okay.

Cool.

Yeah.

Should

Gillie host a podcast?

They seem so on the same wavelength.

I really like the research part that they do.

Marbles.

I've never been to a Marbles slab.

Yeah, we've never heard it on the podcast.

I think it has less of a presence in California.

I think Coalstone Creamery is a good name.

I agree.

And I think the concept is a good concept.

I just think like...

Eating what we ate today, maybe because it was like outside of the store, just felt unremarkable to me.

Like, I truly truly did not like

you.

Didn't like it.

You can say this right now.

It's hard to say for me.

I'm like, it was fucking sugary ice cream.

What am I not liking, really?

If they turned every cold stone creamery into a hot stone gravery tomorrow, I would be fine with it.

It's the opposite of a creamery is a gravery.

A hot stone gravery.

Are you saying like it's a grave, like they're dead?

Or

still a stone?

They're mixing gravy to order.

They're mixing gravy to order.

On a hot stone?

Or they're dead, so it's a grave.

Sounds pretty good.

I'll be honest.

Not a bad idea.

A mashed potato place with like custom gravy.

Six different gravies.

That's what I'm saying.

A hot stone gravery.

Here's what I like.

Here's what I like.

And then if you tip them, if you tip them instead of singing, they all go, fuck you, you piece of shit.

Wait, I pitched this to Betsy.

We took a trip to Ojai, and we were thinking of like, what, the food scene in Ojai is fucking fantastic.

And we were.

talking like what would you open here like what's missing from the scene so my idea is a french fry place where where you choose the potato, like you choose a lobster.

We even have a tank just to be funny.

Wow, that's funny.

And you choose your potato that then gets cut and fried.

So, it's going to be can I cut it in like an electric chair?

You know what I mean?

Like, can it be like that small?

Like, it's like a

way to like flash.

Yeah, it's got the little cap and it's got like nodes stuck in it.

Yeah, yeah.

And there's little, there's little small potatoes washed out.

But your, your, uh, hot grave, hot, hot stone gravery.

Hot stone gravery.

I feel like this is

a really good

restaurant.

So like you're saying,

you have different types of potatoes.

Like maybe you've got like a Russet.

You've got a sweet potato.

Maybe you want to try

a Japanese sweet potato.

Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun.

And it's all getting fried.

It's the freshest fries you've ever had in your life.

Wow.

There's potato corner, which I love.

Those are frozen fries.

They'll like openly show you that they're frozen.

So this is going to be a little bit more expensive, but it's still

not too crazy.

Here's for sizes.

You could go one potato, two potato, three potato, three potato, four.

Wow, you could do that.

One potato, two potato, three.

I'll have a four, please.

That's a good idea.

I think it's a good idea.

Why do you want a potato count?

It's one potato, two potato, three potatoes.

But is that how many potatoes you're getting?

Yeah, yeah.

So if you want four, that's like the most fries you can get.

Yeah, so you're getting four potatoes worth of fries.

So if you want three, you have to go, I want three potato.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want three potatoes.

Instead of just three.

Yeah.

Yeah, three potato.

You have to say three potatoes.

And if you say three, they'll say, what do you mean?

Yeah.

Like if you order a small at Starbucks, they're like, Yes.

And then they take each potato, put them in a little electric chair,

and

they call the governor just to see if he's going to.

I love that idea, too.

And then it's like Green Mile.

They like pull it and he starts frying.

Yeah, and bugs come out of his mouth.

I think that's a good idea.

I think

it would be fun if every few customers,

the governor is like, he's free and you just don't get the fries.

Like,

the governor lets him

get pardoned.

And then on the outside of the restaurant, like, there's a tunnel that was dug out, and it's like a Morgan Friedman potato.

And he's like, He was my best fry.

He was my best fry.

I think that'd be good.

I think it would be good.

It would be really good.

I think this really is a great idea.

Getting to see the potato, and then minutes later, you're eating a French fry.

I think, and you chose, you know, I just identify with the knobs on this one potato.

Shawshank potatoes.

The problem is

some some of the free potatoes would be so used to having this sort of cloistered life where their every decision is controlled.

Can they even survive without a farm?

Can they even survive with the background?

The answer is they can't.

Because you're going to eat them.

Yeah, they find the potatoes.

Put them out of their misery.

Yeah.

So like there's a Brooks potato that hangs itself?

Yeah.

This is good.

Yeah.

I think it is a great idea.

Thank you.

If you found a potato in a noose, would you feel like okay eating it?

Knowing that potato had taken his own life.

So you're saying Epsbud didn't kill himself.

Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, I'm saying like that sort of an Epsbud.

Yeah, yeah.

I was on the Epsbud list.

Hell yeah, dude.

I love potatoes.

That's why I'm on the Epsbud.

I'm on the Epsbud list.

I had a one, I had a,

what is it?

I had a like it.

You had it, yes, you had a like it smart brookie.

You had a, you had a one smart brookie add fudge and you had a small peanut butter cup i'm sorry a like it peanut butter cup perfection uh this one smart so this is the issue again i talked about how the cookie don't you want some is french vanilla ice cream that comes with chocolate chips cookie dough and fudge mitch you got the one smart smart brookie so you're essentially constructing the same thing because this one has classic cookie dough ice cream instead of vanilla ice cream as a base brownie and additional cookie dough plus you added fudge so that this is again goes back to distance point of like these things all start to smear into the same sort of thing i'm happy i had fudge but I did not.

I don't know if you guys, it just tasted so much like everything else, and I don't think that they have a particularly good cookie dough ice cream there.

I mean, like, I like a Ben and Jerry's pint way more than that.

I can't even remember if it was good.

I mean, just it tasted like cookie dough ice cream.

I'm not having an opinion on it, you know.

It was like slightly melted because we had, you know, it was Amelia's fault, of course.

But, um,

I don't know.

It just didn't leave a lasting impression.

I will say there was some of that.

Like, we didn't get the taco thing.

We did get one of the cones, which I think is what was on the outside of the taco thing.

We kind of like just a loose waffle cone, which Amelia added in the corner.

We sort of put together the flavors of what it would have been.

I think the novelty of having it in the little taco might have made it more memorable.

Absolutely.

That's like an extra fork.

It's just

such a bummer that we didn't get to.

I'm the feeling on our tongues of like a chocolate-coated cone would have been totally different.

This is also a big thing with LTOs these days.

It's a fucking fucking bait and switch.

We see this happening with Taco Bell all the time, Mitch.

It's like they're like, hey, we have this thing.

This thing is happening.

And then you go there and it's like, oh, we're out of the sauce.

Or like, oh, we don't have this thing.

It's like, well, there's a whole fucking reason I came here.

The window is too small with somebody's limited time offers, as Nick did.

Here's what I'll say.

Taco Bell is essentially the same, like nine ingredients that I never tire from again and again.

Sure.

And I feel like we basically had the same thing, but it was all one thing somehow.

So they're not, or we had many different things, but it all felt like like taco bell innovate innovates on the delivery system whereas you know we're sitting around passing around like six cups of the same ingredients it's like kind of the same i do except for this motherfucker with his smoothie i well okay look this is bullshit the thing you almost when i was giving my very my my twisted metal thoughts you almost spilled it it was a smoothie that you got and that's not

it's not ice cream wise i can i can exclude the pineapple a blueberry smoothie like its size from my review if you would like from my fork score if we wanted to keep this ice cream focused.

I did not know they had smoothies.

And I was like, I am going to have, and saying that, I bet we probably reviewed their smoothies on like the previous Coldstone.

I'm sure we did.

Completely fucking forgot it.

But I was like, I want to see what a Coldstone smoothie is like.

And let me tell you, this bad boy ain't bad.

Wow.

I believe you.

I did.

I spilled it, almost spilled it while you were talking, and then I almost spilled it on Emma earlier.

And then Emma was like, because Emma was over here adjusting

some cables.

And then like, I tipped it over.

I was like, oh, shit.

And then Emma was like, oh, I'd rather you spill it on me than the carpet.

The white carpet purple smoothie.

I would not.

I would rather spill it on head gum shitty fucking carpets.

What do you care about their carpets?

I don't want to clean it.

You don't want to clean it?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaking of your heels, I'd much rather spill it on an employee than these beautiful,

beautiful, irreplaceable, probably Amazon carpets.

I think it's time that I reveal something.

Yeah, please.

So I already revealed that I don't like ice cream.

Yes.

I liked the banana caramel crunch.

Wow.

I thought it was fucking delicious.

I thought by that because

it's a we it's a the weirder uh you can say that but they offered it on their set menu it was i had nothing to do with the creation of this ice cream i didn't modify it i will say it was the one i remember the most because it had a different flavor slightly chemically

whatever but i will say recently i've gotten into these these treats that are like

uh little tiny like

rounds of like frozen banana covered in dark chocolate.

Oh, yeah, we eat those.

Sounds good.

And you can have like four of them and it's like 100 calories and the banana a frozen banana and chocolate like it does kind of taste like ice cream you can't you can bite into a frozen banana without fucking with your tooth sensitivity somehow it just like really works so the idea of banana and ice cream it's a classic like thing that goes together

but um i i think those were some good bites i mean a little chemically and a more a like more straight up banana flavored version might have been better but Taking Umbridge with the chemically.

I don't know that I agree about the chemical.

I'm with you on the chemical.

I didn't get it super chemically from the bites I had.

There was an actual banana in there.

I mean, like, I guess the chemical process of a ripening fruit?

Is that what you're talking about?

Now, let's get into it.

So, there's two banana flavors, of course.

The banana that we eat, and then the banana candy flavor.

Right.

Those are different.

The banana candy flavor comes from what bananas used to taste like before that variety died.

And then we made this new clone of banana.

It's also the reason we have slippery banana peel jokes in cartoons because the old bananas were more slippery than the new ones.

Shut up.

I learned this when I was working on a food show for Netflix.

That rocks.

But so whenever you taste like banana, like runts or any kind of banana flavor, that is a chemical approximation of what the old bananas used to taste like.

Sean, the ice cream base was French vanilla.

No, I understand that.

But I think I was tasting a little bit of that old banana flavor in the thing you were giving me.

I really didn't.

I thought it was like good French vanilla, which actually sometimes is a stronger ice cream flavor.

I love French vanilla.

I love getting the grossest chocolate thing that'll be like, fuck me, chocolate.

Like chocolate is always so horny.

And I almost, that would have been my normal order, but I wanted to kind of like try something new.

Yeah, yeah.

French vanilla.

What?

Am I wrong?

Wasn't that the baby?

It is a French vanilla ice cream with roasted almonds, a banana in it.

And then it was just a real banana inside and almonds.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe I'm wrong.

But I was like,

I can't be wrong, but I just like,

can I not detect the chemical?

Am I going to like?

Can I talk to you about it?

I got a pretty perfect bite where I got elements of the ice cream, the roasted almonds, the banana and caramel all in one, and it was delightful.

I thought that was quite good.

But here's the thing: I agree that a lot of these tasted pretty similar.

Amelia, what's the in Bellatro?

There's the two banana cards, right?

There's the one that gets the Joker that get that has a one to six chance of going extinct, and it's replaced with the one that is a 3x multiplier.

One of them is Cavendish.

cavendish and um

but those are the banana varietals that yes that sean was describing i think cavendish is the old one cavendish is the legendary one yes yeah and so the the uh i forget what the original one is that that goes away i can't wait i gotta learn about this old also the current clone of bananas is there's a genetic thing that's killing them we have to come up with a new one we have to come up with a new banana

i think in the next like 20 years there'll be a banana

so rose michelle rose michelle

there's a meme that's like if if you if gross michelle you can't handle me at my gross michelle you don't deserve me at my cavendish

there was there was news that bananas are going away and that we got sidetracked by this gelache going away

last i heard they're like trying to figure out some genetic thing to stop them from all dying out but we might have to come up with a new banana coggie kong is gonna pull a Brooks was here.

Yeah, I know.

Do you want a new banana or do you want to go back to that banana we missed, the Cavendish?

Yeah, fuck it.

Give me a new banana.

A new banana.

I mean, it would be fun to have a new fruit, you know, a new fruit.

There's new fruits all the time.

Donkey Kong plaintively saying, like, oh, banana.

Slips a noose around his neck.

Wow, so you might.

Single tier.

Not minion.

No, I mean, well, the minions would be.

I mean, the minions could pivot to mango or potato.

But yeah,

the lack of the banana would be tough for them, too.

Okay.

I love my boy DK playing DK Bonanza-wise.

We're both having a great time with it.

I think I told you a bit about DK Bonanza, right?

Bonanza is great.

Bonanza is a lot of fun, but keep your bananas out of my ice cream unless it's a banana split.

I don't need to stream that.

Wow, interesting take.

Have you guys ever heard of a Knickerbocker Glory?

No.

Or as they would say, a Knickerbocker Glory.

It's a British dessert.

Wow.

Really?

I just keep hearing about it on a different food podcast.

Sorry.

And

I think it's like.

This is the one you listen to.

Yeah, the one I actually listen to.

Hey, Gilly, can all of us talk to you outside?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Sean is my boss on the show, and he doesn't like it when I say that.

You are.

Gilly always says I'm hurt your boss.

I literally

do not.

What am I saying when I say it?

I won't make him do it.

It's when I'm saying he was such a good boss.

He wasn't good at him.

And it makes him very uncomfortable.

There is a hierarchy in a room.

You didn't do anything about it.

It's always been there.

Emma's our boss.

Yeah, Emma's a very good boss.

Yeah, Emma is everybody's boss.

But Sean is such a good boss.

Sean will and should run a room himself.

MJ is also a phenomenal boss.

Like, I'm so blown away by it.

But every time I, when people are like, what was it like working with Sean?

Because people are excited.

Two UCB people were in a room together, and hell, I'm excited too.

And I'm always like, he's a phenomenal boss.

I was no one's boss.

Because if I was, I would have fired you.

Yeah.

Okay, I guess you weren't my wife

what wait what is what is this dessert though oh sorry it's just like a big

sundae i think like it's a multi-layered ice cream i think it it's definitely in one of those ice cream dishes that uh kind of are like a flower petaly kind of yeah sorry i'm trying to show like a beautiful woman like uh it

like in a big glass dish and it would have like sprinkles I think it's maybe not that different from a Sunday.

I'll be honest.

We've got to fucking bring Sundays back.

Yeah.

I'll tell you, I agree with that.

And also,

this to me is that this is why, whatever.

I don't like Coldstone.

We'll get to our final thoughts here, but Muso and Franks has like a hundred-year-old Sunday that they make that's fantastic.

There's just no, I so this place is back.

This place is supposed to be fun, and I don't give a shit about it.

Like I said, it could be a hot stone gravery and I'd be more happy.

I think you're missing.

I honestly do think part of the experience is going there, seeing them fuck with the cold stone thing, picking out your own flavors.

flavors like i think that this is one way to experience it that people might like i didn't hate but i don't know like i think cold stone is cool if you can go there i don't know it's definitely a better experience to go we weren't able to do that for this record because of timing but it's definitely a better experience in person for sure i agree and i honestly think that's the case With any ice cream party.

That's what I like.

I love ice cream so much.

I can't keep it in the house.

I make myself go to the effort of going to a parlor.

I always have a blast when I go there and get something something hand scooped or, you know, I see that soft serve swirl out afresh.

To me, that's part of the experience.

And yes, definitely the case with Coldstone.

It's a bummer we couldn't do that today.

So we do lose a little bit of something.

We should get to our final thoughts on Coldstone Creamery.

So,

Sean,

Gilly, you know the Daryl, we will go around.

We'll each give our closing argument, if you will, on Coldstone and end it by giving it a score from zero to five forks uh distance to you to my right we will begin with you your thoughts your fork score um so when it comes to masturbating no um

cold stone

you know it used to ring like such a treat in my head when i was younger when it came out in my town it was a huge event It was like when the Chipotle opened or when, you know, this

big lines, like huge, huge lines, I remember.

And so Coldstone was kind of cool.

Now, I think a lot of artisanal ice cream places are kind of like taking over.

I haven't been to Handles yet.

I hear that one's really good.

Handles is the fucking best.

It's great.

Handles.

I mean, you got Troy's.

You got Salt and Stry.

You got Jenny's.

You got these things that are all like varying levels of quality.

And like a good ice cream can be incredible.

I don't always get a great thing of ice cream.

So I'm not always looking for it.

But these flavors, cake batter flavor, cookie dough, Oreos, these are all flavors that I like.

If I were to mix it myself, Oreos would be in there.

Cookie dough might be in there as well.

So I didn't dislike anything.

Did I like anything?

It's a great question.

Eh.

It was fine.

The banana thing, I remember what it tastes like.

The rest of it, I don't know.

So, fork score.

Oh, wait, we're supposed to do something themed, man.

Oh, yeah, twisted metal themed.

Oh, yes.

What's the score?

So it's not out of forks.

Stew's undies.

Okay.

Yeah.

Let's do it out of stews undies.

That is giving people a way blown out proportion of how much your undies are involved.

But sure.

Let's do stews undies.

Stray pubes in stews undies.

Okay, so

we can't give a thousand for a score.

Yeah.

That's the matter.

Well, I only have five pubes total.

So this is perfect.

So it's going to be stews pubes.

Stews pubes.

Okay, perfect.

I feel like I've given mostly straight down the middle ratings on the show.

I'm gonna give it

3.25 pubes in stews on DC.

Based off of your like your verbal evaluation, that is a higher fork score than I expected.

Well, I didn't want to go any lower because at the end of the day, it's fucking ice cream.

Like if had I been left in that room to my own devices, I would have finished one of those things and felt like shit.

So it's not like I disliked anything.

And I don't think there there are that many ice cream places that tower way above what Colstone's doing.

Right.

Oh, I disagree with that.

I mean, I maybe don't have the experience because I don't always seek out like the best possible ice cream.

So I'll give it 3.25.

Wow.

Three pubes, one time.

Three pubes, one.

Yeah.

What is the, what is a half?

What is it?

What is a quarter pube?

Stub?

Yeah.

Follicle.

Yeah.

One follicle.

Gilly,

your thoughts, your pube score.

I think we could have ordered better.

I think I appreciate a dynamic mix of things.

And the one thing that I really liked, the banana caramel crunch, did have that.

And I think everything else that we ordered had soft and other soft.

It was like all things that absorbed ice cream and then it was a mush.

So

I think we need to take that into account.

I'm already on record saying I don't like ice cream that much.

I am giving it a two pube out of five score

because I didn't enjoy it.

But that one thing is what got the two points.

The fact that they had something on the menu that had like

bananas, one consistency, caramels, a whole different one.

And then we got almonds to give the crunch.

I think we should have ordered more stuff like that.

So that gave them that little bit.

Jillie, I would.

Sorry to interrupt.

I have to change my score canonically

because I did have a tiny sampling of a mint flavor of their ice cream.

This was fucking disgusting.

It was so bad.

I was so surprised.

I was thinking it was going to be much mintier than it was.

It was like the faintest putrid taste.

Now that I remember, it's maybe the most lasting memory of this whole experience.

I can't believe I forgot it.

Who had mint?

It was a tiny amount that Amelia had over there.

And I don't know what you thought.

Who and Amelia?

I don't know what you thought, but I have to dock an entire point for this

because it was just the ice cream, and I was getting like a sense of what the ice cream flavor would be like.

It sucked so bad.

I got to go down to two, uh, two pubes and two points.

Yeah, and one follicle.

It was awful.

I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll take the

baton and run with it here.

And Mitch, I'll let you close it out because I want to talk about Amelia's samples.

You got to-go samples, yeah.

They have little tiny samples.

You could get a little scoop, a tiny mini scoop for 99 cents.

So I got three.

I got the Oreo birthday flavor.

So those were paid.

Those were not samples because they seem sample size.

Yeah, they, yeah, they're those were those were a buck a piece.

Yeah, I didn't realize how tiny they did.

That sucks.

Yeah, because that was like a thimble full of ice cream.

I thought that was just a sample for you to test to go.

Wow.

Okay.

And what flavors?

Because one of them was the Oreo flavor, just the ice cream, no mix-ins.

One of them was mint.

I really like the Oreo by itself more than I did with all the fix-ins.

fixins interesting yeah a bargain in the downsizing universe but here it's a fucking ripoff wags

it's an olympic sized pool in the downsizing universe then i got regular chocolate and um the mint yes the mint was the first thing i had so it was kind of good to me but

yeah i could i could not quite understand what's going on with your palate that you like the mint because i thought the mint was was gross i agree with this in there but i also feel like those are three i uh where i got to try the ice cream in isolation and i know that's not what coldstone is trying to do we try to evaluate the thesis of this podcast trying to evaluate these um chains in terms of how they're living up to their aspirations and how they're they are they're executing the promise of the premise

you however tasting the ice cream on its own i was like Coldstone's ice cream is not good quality.

No.

They are covering it up with all the shit that they're mixing in there.

Totally agree.

Amelia, what would be your pube score

based off of your ice creams?

I would give it three and a half pubes.

You go three and a half pubes.

That's pretty high.

I liked it.

Emma, did you have any?

I don't think you had anything.

No, I don't like Coldstone.

I've been to a one.

I went in like high school or something, and I thought it tasted freezer burn.

I was like, this is garbage.

I'd rather get a pint.

And so I've never really gone back.

So I didn't want it from 30 minutes away today.

I'm really disappointed that we didn't have, oh, I forgot to tell my, they do have a Boy Scout ice cream story, I remembered.

I was at a, we were at an old west ghost town, and there was an ice cream parlor there.

And I went inside and I was like in my Boy Scout uniform.

And it was the first time I ever witnessed an adult man hit on an adult woman.

An adult man was there, like, and she was like, Do you want to taste any test any flavors?

And the guy goes, Yeah, I want to taste all your flavors.

Okay.

That would work on me.

You said that would work on me.

I want to taste all your flavors.

I'm into it.

Yeah.

Pretty good line.

Yeah, I guess I'd fuck them too.

Not the thing about like this person being at work and just having to say that all day and probably hearing that a lot.

Right.

But other than that,

that said.

I'm really, really disappointed they didn't have the Oreo ice cream taco.

That's the, that was like, Gilly pitched this.

I looked at the Coldstone app.

I saw that they, they had this ice cream tacos seasonal.

I was so excited to have it.

They didn't have it.

And

it definitely is a bummer.

I did really like the birthday cake

Oreo celebration.

Again, I love birthday flavor.

I love birthday Oreos specifically.

So I thought that was great.

And that alone, and I thought the smoothie was fine.

I'm not counting it in my score.

And I did think the banana caramel crunch was good.

And then we've talked about how everything else was just sort of like a vague, sort of sweet.

you know, texture to it.

All that said, I think the birthday cake Oreo celebration was good enough where I'm going to anchor it firmly in three pubes.

I think that's where my, I think that's where my score should land if I'm being honest about this particular experience.

You're a birthday flavor.

It's true.

You like that.

You like that stuff.

But Mitch, you're a birthday boy and you did not have a good experience.

That's true.

And I do fuck with ice cream.

Yeah.

I like ice cream.

And I think it's a testament to Coldstone for me not enjoying the meal that I think it just is kind of lousy ice cream.

It's too sugary.

It tastes like nothing to me.

I never really liked Coldstone that way.

Even the first time I had it, it was a big sensation.

I never really liked it.

I don't know if the quality has gone down over time, but

it sucks.

I don't know.

Coldstone kind of sucks, right?

It sucks.

It's honestly more texture than flavor, I will say.

Like the flavors are there, but I'm not like loving all the flavors.

It's the crunches and the big like pieces of cookie dough and shit that you put in it that makes it different.

And then, yeah, it is kind of way sugary.

And there is an airy, you know, akin to a gelato sort of smoothness to the cream itself.

So I think that does a little bit of work for it.

But

I get what you're saying, Mitch.

That's an insult to Italians, honestly.

False.

It's not all the way to gelato, but it's a little bit, you know, I'm standing up.

You made me stand up for Italian.

This is crazy.

I feel like gelato is nowhere near as sweet as what we just had.

I'm not talking about textures.

I'm talking about texture only.

Okay.

It's hard for me to agree because it was a little like melted and homogenized.

homogenized so i will back off but i'm peod

i wouldn't i would never give a scoop of this to sweet tooth himself why because i think that sweet tooth would chop my head off rightfully so i i i do not think that this is i would much rather a choco taco uh for a sugar bomb i i uh

it's it's i mean i've said my hot my hot stone gravery line thousands of times now already.

It's kind of a catchphrase at this point.

It's so funny that stone is still stone.

But I would much rather have that version than this version.

And I apologize to Koalak.

I know he has a fond memory of this place.

He lost the love of his life, though.

He stepped on his tail.

He's like, it's over.

He called it off.

She goes around and tells everyone, you know, I went on a date with this rat one time.

1.5 forks.

Wow.

Oh, sorry.

1.5 pubes.

Wow.

1.5

stew pubes or stubs, I guess we're going to be doing.

Stubs.

Wow.

Do you remember when you were a boy and the second pube was coming in?

What a time.

Yeah.

And you go from saying, I have pube to pubes.

Pretty big.

Get you some real clout at the playground.

You got a little Homer Simpson going on down there.

I have something shocking to tell you.

What's that?

Happens to girls too.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Mitch, you were looking directly at us, like ignoring Gilly.

Yeah, guess what?

Gilly's got pubes, too.

Sorry, dude.

Hey, that was our review of Coldstone.

It's time for a segment.

I got a beverage we're going to study if you just pour it down your throat.

It's drank or stank.

Wow.

Amelia, what do we have here?

Yes, what twisted beverage do we have?

Yeah, I apologize as you're stepping away from the mic.

We have

from Galco's in Highland Park, we have Salem Sisters bad apple soda, rotten to the core.

Bad apple soda, rotten to the core.

Now, hopefully, this doesn't taste like rotten apples because sometimes they do have those dare sodas.

Um, as you were preparing this, this is like a one rice for all of us, too.

Apple-y, yeah, shit.

Is this a gross soda?

I hope it's not a gross soda.

I don't like gross sodas.

I'd rather, I'd rather eat it.

I don't like gross soda.

This doesn't look like a gross soda.

It tastes like a Dolly Rancher.

Or when you poured out, did you guys ever drink like tilt or surge?

Yes, alcoholic energy drinks.

Surge, famously, everyone would say it would kill your sperm.

Oh, hell yeah.

Kill your sperm, but makes the night lit.

Here's the thing with this:

are the four of us

are the four of us going to drink this ooze and turn into ninja turtles?

I mean, that would be fun.

That would be fucking sick.

That would be really cool.

And we should pour some on Jemmy so she's our master.

Yes, splinter.

Distinct, as a TMNT fanatic, which turtle would you you most want to be?

Or do you want to go to the length of saying, like, which turtle would each of us be?

Okay.

The four of us on this planet.

I can absolutely say that.

He's definitely not the party, dude.

No, no, no.

You're definitely Donatello.

Okay.

Keeping things together.

Donatello is the one doing the research.

Yo, you also both have a shaft if you catch my drift.

All right.

Yeah, you carry around a big stick.

It's called a bow.

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

What you called it?

I would say.

You named it B-O, like Bo?

I named it Bo

after my neighbor's dad.

That's gross.

I think it's clear that Amelia is Michelangelo.

Sure.

What the hell?

I thought we were doing us for.

I thought we were doing us for us.

I'm doing the Doughboys cast.

The Dough Boys cast.

Me and Gilly are bebop and Rocksteady.

So clearly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me and Gilly are bebop and rocksteady.

Got it.

I think Amelia is Michelangelo.

I think Emma is Leonardo.

Absolutely.

Sure.

And I think

she leads, but also does machines.

It's kind of a...

No, no, no.

Donatello does machines.

Yeah, no, but I'm saying, like,

I feel like

you fucked up.

Donatello does machines.

I know Donatello does machines, but I'm saying, like, Emma also does machines.

But I'm not commenting on Emma's doing machines right now.

I'm talking about Emma is the driving force, the leader of this podcast.

There's no double.

And yes, Mitch, you are Raphael.

Wow.

You're cool, but rude.

That's true.

You're absolutely the angriest member of the four.

I know enough to know that that was an insult.

I like Rava.

I'm just happy that you didn't say I was the body of Krang.

Here we go.

No, no, no.

I don't know.

I don't know what I think about this.

No,

it smells like the

candy apple lollipops, those caramel apple.

Yeah, this is 100% Jolly Rancher flavor.

This is truly twisted for Twisted Monthal.

It is not a bad flavor, but absolutely not something to be drunk.

It's like a twisted Martinelli's little, like, you know, apple soda.

Yeah, but a little kicked up, a little significantly.

Should we just get the fucking snack?

Should we get the whatever?

This looks like the stuff from the reanimated.

I thought we did too many snacks.

Should we twist it up and bring the fucking snack in?

So you're pissed that we're talking about this.

I feel like everyone hates it immediately.

Isn't this

part of it?

It's drink or stink.

It's insane.

It's insane.

We're not supposed to like it.

Do you love it?

Is that why we're at?

I don't like it.

I've got to be honest.

I don't dislike it.

Do I want a whole thing of this?

No.

It's not bad apple, to be clear.

It's not a bad apple.

It's not like a joke.

It tastes like a candy, apple, the candy version.

Would it make a good cocktail?

That's what I was just going to think.

And like I

for a high schooler.

Yeah.

It is so aggressively sweet, but I think if you added, if you made this a stiff drink, it might be a good one.

It would have to be vodka, I think.

Yeah.

In order to walk around with booze, one of my best friends and I would put Bacardi 151 into slushies.

And

I would have put Bacardi 151 into this.

This is that.

Yes.

Yeah.

A good mixer for when you are just...

trying to get drunk and you don't care about flavor.

Bacardi 151 is like the booze that kills children.

It is, it is, it's a dangerous booze.

I haven't had it since I was a child, which is not great.

No, I don't think I've had Bacardi once more.

I don't think they make it anymore.

Yeah.

No, they don't make it 1501 strength anymore.

There's no reason for it to be that.

No, no.

But I had that original.

I did have that original.

I had that original shit, and I liked it.

That fire.

I hate to say it.

This might be a little bit of a drink for me.

The more I'm winning me over.

I'm going back in, and it is better as you sip it.

They got this thing where it's not totally carbonated,

but there's still some soda-y thing going on.

I don't know.

When it hits your tongue, there's bubbles, but then it kind of goes away.

There's a little bit of a viscosity of it.

Yes, there's a teeth coating going on.

The ingredients, the listed ingredients, carbonated water, cane sugar, citric acid, natural and artificial flavors, and

sodium benzoate.

So it's not like...

I don't like sodium.

I love the sodium benzoate.

So it's, you know, it's, it's all science.

That's all you're getting from here.

But I think it's a decent apple flavor.

I do think the color is a lot of fun.

It's this really, you know, again, It's a green green.

A little Halloween-y.

When you said science, I want to say

Twisted Metal episode.

What's the one that's kind of like a horror movie episode?

It was school.

Yeah, I can say.

Which number is that?

One of the episodes.

It's coming out this week.

Eight.

Oh, is it?

No, no.

Nine.

It's nine, right?

It's nine.

Fuck.

It's eight.

But it's coming out this week.

Wow, there you go.

Out today.

Check it out today.

It is not a Halloween episode.

No, no, no.

There is some scary shit in all the episodes, but this one.

Yeah, very good.

There's some scary stuff going on.

When you said science,

that made me think of like creepy crawlies, those kits that you could get.

Creepy crawlers.

But you could make like

mad scientist goo, and then it was some like for kids, and then you could eat it.

This feels like one of those things.

Do you want me to sing the theme song for that?

Creepy crawlers.

Do you not remember this?

I don't remember the theme songs, but I know what you're talking about.

It goes on.

I don't remember.

Yeah.

Do you know what I think they should do with this?

They should rebrand the whole thing.

This should be a wicked tie-in.

And it should be.

What's the green witch's name?

Alphaba.

This should be called Alphaba's Squirt.

Mm-hmm.

That's really good.

Because it's definitely the color.

It's definitely the color of her skin.

Yeah.

And it just got a bit of a like Wizard of Oz vibe going on.

Like, I like the neon-y color.

It gives me a little like.

how about grunty piss.

I mean, I was gonna say, there's the Salem sisters on here, and they kind of look like two grunties, Mitch.

Not two alphabets, two grunties.

She is green because of a potion peddler who is not her mom's husband.

And that's how they know that the mom cheated because she drank a potion.

Damn, there's some fucking drama going on in this wicked movie.

I I was watching some of Wicked and then I just looked at the Wikipedia.

Spoiler alert for Wicked 2.

Yeah.

One of those guys turns into the scarecrow or some stupid name.

Yes, it is.

This is longest.

I mean, this lore is established in the books and the musical, but yeah, so maybe some other people will turn into some of the other travelers.

It's very prequelly.

It's like one of those things where it's just like.

To some level, the whole thing is unnecessary.

But then again, I guess you could say that about everything.

But it's just like, well, the songs are good.

The musical is great.

Yeah, I will say I'm boycotting the movie.

I'll never watch it.

And the reason is, is because Ariana Grande is a husband stealer.

And

I will not say why that really pisses me off, but it is a personal thing that makes me very upset.

And all the Ariana fans who are going to say that, oh, no,

the timing come for me.

We have a lot of Ariana Grande fans who listen to Dope.

They're all up on here.

They're like, thank you.

Next.

Yeah.

I don't like that movie.

I don't like Ariana Grande, and I'll never watch it.

And I don't think anyone should watch it.

Oh my God.

But it's art created by a team of talented people, like you were saying before.

Oh, shit.

You're right.

I did say all that shit before.

You know what?

And some of it just isn't your taste.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But Ariana Grande specifically wronged me.

Wow.

And I will not watch the movie because of that.

Wow.

Yeah, sounds like it.

um the book is crazy there's a humanoid tiger that fucks okay so the book i can yeah you can read the book

has nothing to do with the book right over here yeah the humanoid tiger that fucks look look right over here dying cream tiger wiger

uh hey i i think we go what is the verdict i guess i go i didn't officially say i guess i get i might go light drank here yeah i'm gonna i think i'd take a whole i don't think i could take a whole bottle of this but this is a fun thing to share good if a bunch of high school students ask me to buy them a bottle of vodka i come out with a bottle of vodka and i say mix it it with this.

I give them the soda as well.

That's responsible.

Thank you.

Mix it with this.

It's green.

It'll make your piss look green.

I thought you were going to say you'd give them this in place of the booze, but you're like, oh, wait, no, that's good.

No, no, no.

I'll do that instead.

I'm going to give them this and say, have fun with this instead.

Yeah, yeah.

When I was in high school, we were trying to, we were like, wait, wait, outside of the liquor store, and we kind of were just like,

which one of us is going to ask an adult to buy beer for us?

And my friend John was like, I'll go do it.

And he went over there and he was just like kind of shoulder tapping adults as they're going in and out of the liquor store.

And

this guy in a wheelchair was like watching him.

And

he rolls over and he says,

excuse me, FBI.

And he takes out his wallet and shows it to him.

And my friend John like looks at him and walks away and comes over.

And John says, he opened his wallet and showed me a picture of a dog.

I fucking love this guy.

That guy might have been fucking hilarious.

He's a very good dog.

I mean, he might have been out of his mind or he might have been hilarious.

That's so good.

Start carrying around a picture of a dog.

I scared a stranger teenage boy at Universal Studios the other day and have never laughed harder.

And I think I'm going to start being like this guy.

I think it is so funny to fuck with teens because they're so scared.

They're so on edge.

I immediately looked to this guy's, this kid's parents because I needed them to not be mad at me.

The mom thought it was the funniest thing, pulled out her phone and showed me like nine videos of her scaring her son herself.

And I think it's like her way to get back at like just how awful having a teen boy is.

Oh, sure.

He was being mean to his little sister, and I could like see this for like 10 minutes in line.

Again and again, he keeps trying to prank his sister.

So I just went up behind him and did a classic like boo.

I thought you meant scared him as an authority for you.

We got to bring back boo.

It was a classic

tap on the shoulder and a boo in the ear from behind.

Wow.

And he turned around and be like, who did it?

And then he saw me just kind of stay there.

And it was kind of impulsive.

So I didn't really think it through.

And he just like saw me and then like got a little scared and then like ran behind his dad, which is the right thing to do.

Showboys fans, if you see Mitch or Nick out there, tap him on the shoulder and give him a boo.

Give him a class.

That would be the end for both of us, honestly.

Like, I bet you that guy was just chuckling his ass off the rest of the day.

That rocks.

I think we should all scare strangers.

If you want to bring back Boo, you should come on the road with Wagger and I at some point.

Oh, yeah.

The audience really loves that phrase.

Hey, it's been, you brought it back.

Drinks all around, seems like.

I give it a soft drink.

Soft drink, yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think any of us are like over the moon for it, but it's like, I think it's credit for the crazy color, too.

For sure.

I'm glad it exists.

Do you know what when I was younger?

You know what we did to buy beer at one point?

What's that?

My sister had an assumption.

She gave me an assumption sweatshirt.

I put that on in a scalli cap, and I just looked so much like shit even at 16.

I just, they never even carded me.

What's an assumption?

Yeah, what is that?

It was her college.

Okay.

So I walked in.

You look like a shithead college.

I walked in with a scalli cap.

I think I looked older than I looked just like, I just looked like shit.

I was like a scalli cap.

I don't know what any of this.

Scalli cap is like a, is like a, like, kind of like a, you know, you know, like the, the, the, I don't know how to fucking describe it.

I don't know what to say.

Like, yeah, kind of like a beanie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a Kango?

Yeah, there we go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amelia's holding up a button.

There we go.

See, on the far right, Sherlock Holmesy, kind of a us Irish boys used to wear it back in the day.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's a sort of a jaunty older man's cap for sure.

I wore it as a teen boy

quite a bit.

Just like a restaurant variety feedback, let's go to the feedback.

Today's email is from Alvaro M.

Alvaro writes, Other than Twisted Metal and the Weiger Family Home Videos, what's your favorite show movie featuring a clown?

All right, dude.

Mine, thanks for asking.

The Simpsons That's because of the clownass dad stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Simpsons may be the easy answer or Finding Nemo with that clownfish.

Saludos from Panama, Alvaro.

Oh, hey, I want that.

Panama.

That's cool.

That's an interesting question.

Alvaro, and I see up there mixing up in the Dose Court.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

That's right.

Yeah.

Well, you can yell at him later over

calling your dad a clown.

Wait, favorite.

Okay.

Favorite show movie featuring a clown.

Simpsons was taken.

Finding Nemo was taken.

I'm trying to think a little bit.

I I mean, like, look, this is a,

the obvious place your mind goes is to the Joker and the Batman movies, but obviously that's a big one.

But I'm trying to think of a deeper cut.

I will say

you were just featured in the movie.

Yeah.

I think a really funny clown, because clowns are scary.

I don't love like scary movies that much.

A really funny clown scene is in Billy Madison.

Yeah.

Great clown.

Where the clown gets hit in the head, and then they're doing the big song, and he goes, You probably thought that I was dead.

That's a really funny little moment, and it's memorable.

It's kind of one of the first things that came to my head when I thought about a clown moment.

God, I can't wait for the Netflix Billy Madison 2.

Oh, Billy Madison 2.

Please put one of the Sarando

children in the movie.

Oh, boy, Billy Madison 2 on Netflix.

Yeah, it's coming.

I can't wait to not watch it in a movie theater and

have it be almost a billion dollars and look like a made-for-DVD movie.

I'm a Sandler defender, don't get me wrong.

We all are.

Patch Adams?

Oh, man, Patch Adams.

Patch Adams is pretty good.

Being a good movie

the shit out of Patch Adams.

Yeah, I did.

And what's the Coco?

Is that the gorilla?

What was the name of the?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cocoa.

Patch Adams.

That was Patch Adams.

Did she like all Robin Williams movies no matter what?

Like Fisher King?

Hated Hook.

Yeah.

Did not like Hook.

A good.

This is a great question, Mike.

Well, it's like once you mention The Simpsons, it's hard to get to the next.

Yeah.

Because I'm just thinking of it.

Killer Clowns from Outer Space, The Kyoto Brothers.

Great.

Killer Clowns from Outer Space is a lot of fun.

Kind of practical.

Betsy's favorite movie.

It is.

Yeah.

She's Betsy's favorite movie.

Quite

passionately, yes.

It was very funny.

We went and saw The Monkey and

with Betsy's like, I loved it.

And then me, Weiger, Ben Rogers, Ryan Stanger, and John Gabris all went and saw it.

A Dough Boys,

Action Boys crossover.

And yeah, it was

a quintet of

fury at this film.

I was like Mita see it like so insistent because she liked it so much and basically watched me watch the movie.

And I absolutely hated it.

I was so upset by it.

I had a lot of problems with it.

Upset by it is the wrong word, but like

I just was like bored and just upset.

I guess I was upset.

We were mad.

But Killer Clowns is a movie she I wouldn't have watched if she wasn't in my life.

And it's fucking amazing.

It's Killer Clowns is fantastic.

For her birthday, I got her an air custom airbrush t-shirt with Grandpa Simpson, the Taco Bell, Belle, and Jumbo from Killer Clowns.

And specifically, Jumbo to co-represent Jumbo's clown room.

Really great store on Etsy if you're looking for a custom gift.

My clown thing that's coming to mind, I think it's Problem Child 2.

Yes.

Wow.

That movie is.

Such a gross movie.

Oh, I love those movies.

Love those movies.

Very early influence of like just being a stinker.

And it's been like on my mind a lot lately.

And yeah.

That's that's what I'm going to say.

I love it.

Great John Ritter.

I've got one that I remembered that I was pissed I didn't think of immediately.

Homie the Clown.

Oh, homie the Clown is huge.

So much comedy.

As a kid, as a young child, Homie the Clown gave me a lot.

I learned a lot from Homie the Clown.

Genuinely, so like whacking people.

Yeah, so funny.

Big song.

Love it.

My sister and I were talking about the fast car parody from In Living Cuddler the other day.

Very, a lot of funny stuff in that show, which I all aged great, but

all aged perfectly.

We've missed a big one, which is pennywise from it, of course.

Yeah,

but I mean, maybe that Tim Curry one.

That's what I was going to say.

I specifically know the Tim Curry one is

one Mitch, I know you like.

And I was thinking through it a little bit.

I had Final Fantasy IV, Kefka, clown-like

big villain in that game.

But I've been rereading.

I started with the General.

I didn't get very far in my first read-through, my first attempt at going through all the One Piece manga.

Oh, the One Piece manga.

Have you ever dug in?

No, but my old roommate, Jeff Ward, played the clown on the Netflix show.

Wow.

Buggy the Clown.

Yes.

Wow, that's amazing.

Yeah, cool guy.

That's who I was going to reference because Buggy the Clown is a villain, at least in the first part of the manga and

the anime and the live-action adaptation.

And so that was one I was thinking about.

Buggy the Clown's funny.

Yeah, Jeff Ward, cool guy.

He was on like Agents of Shield when we lived together.

Wow.

He's gotten to do some cool stuff.

Hell yeah.

I looked at Art the Clown, obviously, is now

a bigger one for

young people.

I feel like Lestrada is mentioned, Wages.

Now everyone's talking about Natalie Palamedas.

A great clown.

Hell yeah.

I mean, I think it's funny that we talk about clowns and we live in a city with such an incredible clown scene, but we're like, what's our favorite clown thing?

I guess homie the clown.

At Comic-Con, there was a great sweet tooth actor.

He did a great job.

Did he speak?

I was curious.

Yeah, yeah, he did speak.

Yeah, he was doing a great job.

I mean, Calypso was on fire the entire time.

Oh, the guy who played Calypso?

Yeah.

How crazy to be an impersonator while the actor who embodied that character is there.

That's such a mind function.

Yeah.

I think he like quietly was like, hey, man, I like him.

I think he said to Anthony Kerrigan, he's like, I'm a fan.

But like after that, he was the entire time.

And Paul Walterhauser Walterhauser was playing Stu at the expeditions.

I auditioned for Stu

to play Stu.

Amelia, you're someone who's a presence in the clowning community here in the city.

You've done some clowning work.

I've seen you in clown makeup.

Wait, what was the fucking clown you dressed up at the Ren Fair?

Oh, oh, that was actually, I learned, actually, I just realized that.

So, you're wearing a clown shirt.

I didn't know it at the time, but

I was dressed as a clown called Pomney from the Amazing Digital Circus,

which is some new animation, animated TV show.

So I checked it out, and I was surprised that like little...

four-year-olds, five-year-olds, six-year-olds were coming up to me being like, Pomni, Pomni, because the show feels very adult.

Right.

So it was very surprising, but it seemed like a cool show.

But it's just on YouTube and it has an accessible to kids' aesthetic.

And so you had inadvertently done your clown makeup and wardrobe where you looked like Pomni.

You were accidentally cosplaying.

I was accidentally Pomni, but I was just going for a general court jester type look for the Ren Fair.

I remember you texted us that you'd like you'd taken like 30 selfies with little kids.

Yeah, the kids were obsessed.

There are, I guess, like Chuckles the Clown, do we all know this?

Is that there can only be one?

And David Arquette has been like vying to buy the rights to be Chuckles, not just to make life rights, to make a movie, but to actually

be the character.

I think it's very

protected.

Like at Disneyland, you can't dress as one of their characters.

It's not allowed because they don't want to mess with the very clear branding and it has to be the employees.

There's some kind of like there.

There's not like how SeaWorld has, every SeaWorld had a shamoo and we just called it that.

Like there's only one chuckles at any given time.

I feel like that's interesting.

And like the way he paints it is like, I think copyrighted.

Some of the clowns are very possessive about their makeup and looks.

And the same thing with puppets and puppeteers and their association with them.

But like Bozo, the clown, was just like freely licensed.

And there were like a million Bozos.

Bozo was the one.

Ronald McDonald.

What are we doing?

Ronald.

Is he gone?

Well, they don't really use him anymore.

He got thin.

We may get into it in a minute.

He got thin and he got his hair pressed.

The other one I'm just remembering is Shakes the Clown.

I don't even remember the Bobcat Gold Blade.

I never saw it.

I heard it was good.

It's just like an alcoholic.

Oh, basket.

That was in Bobcat's like prestige indie era.

Right.

I never saw it.

What were you laughing about over there?

I wasn't.

Oh.

Yeah.

Nobody laughs at the show.

Star for the course.

How about these four clowns?

Yeah, you're just.

It's funny.

Mitch is sitting here doing a comedy podcast and looking at people going, what the fuck are you left at?

I don't know.

We're doing a comedy podcast.

Fucking Raphael.

You're so Raphael.

You know what?

I am a Raphael.

I'm aggressively sweet, like the drink, I'd say.

Hmm.

Yeah.

No, that's not at all what Raphael is: aggressively sweet.

He's pissed.

He's always pissed, too.

But

I love y'all.

That's true.

At the end of the day, he loves his brothers.

Yes, that's true.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at pissfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830.

Go to 830-463-6844.

Our tsunami fucking wipes us away.

The last thing we had is Coldstone Creamery.

Fucking sucks.

Our producer is is over Erd Brink.

Our associate producer, Emily Marino,

our video producer, Casey Donahuey, our video editor, Mike Dorfman.

You can find our merch at kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

And hey, get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode over at patreon.com/slash Doughboys.

But right now, what y'all should be doing is checking out Twisted Metal Season 2 on Peacock.

New episodes out today.

Sean Diston, Gillian December.

Congratulations on the show.

Tell us anything else you want to tell us.

You want to mention about Twisted Metal and anything else you want to plug?

Everyone's really nice.

You should watch it.

Yeah.

great great people that worked on the show we can't shout out everyone but obviously the writer's room uh did a lot of really good work and yeah i'm just happy to be a part of that team and uh yeah it's great such i mean such funny and lovely people working in there we could talk to you two all day long uh

we we went we almost did we almost did but uh but but such talented people in there and that's where it all starts and it's so it's so good the scripts were so good and you guys guys, you guys pulled it off.

Looking at it, looking at what we had to do this year, I was like, oh, this is good.

It's not going to happen.

This feels hard to pull off, and you pulled it all off.

It is crazy.

It's crazy.

So, Doughboys fans, watch Twisted Metal finish the show.

Um, those numbers mean a lot.

So, just like watch to the very end.

It's very fun.

A lot of great, fun surprises in the last few episodes.

I won't spoil it, but

Mitch has some incredible final episodes this season.

That's true.

Some of the funniest and best acted stuff I've seen with Mitch.

It's just really, really great.

So I'm super excited for people to see it.

Yeah, that's very kind of you.

It's true.

It's very true.

I told you.

You're not Raphael.

Look at you.

Look at your little grin.

You're all bashful.

He's just a little.

You're April.

Little April O'Neill.

You're giving me goosebumps over here.

Stu's pubes are standing straight up.

Dick Flaccid.

Bit Bit off and flappy.

That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.

Until next time for the Spoon Bad.

Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wager.

Happy eating.

See ya.

I'm Tig Notaro.

I'm Mae Martin.

And I'm Fortune Feemster.

And together, we're handsome.

What is handsome?

Well, it's a state of mind.

It's how you feel.

It's whatever you want it to be.

Handsome is also a podcast hosted by us, three stand-up comedians you may have seen on your TV.

We swap stories, share life updates, and occasionally laugh until we cry.

Every episode we answer a question from a celebrity friend, people like Sarah Silverman.

It's Stephen Colbert.

It's Reese Witherspoon.

My name is Mindy Kaling.

Hello Handsome Podcast.

It's Jen Aniston here.

You quite just W.

So if you're looking for a positive, joyful show guaranteed to make you giggle, check out Handsome.

Jump right in with whatever episode tiggles your fancy or start from the very first episode.

Listen to Handsome on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube.

New episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

And don't forget, keep it handsome.

That was a Hitgum podcast.