Munch Madness X: In-N-Out Burger VS Handel's with Jason Mantzoukas and Paul Scheer

This is a head gum podcast.

Want to watch this episode?

Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash doughboys media.

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dalliance with a duke, or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Mas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com/slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

Previously Previously on Doughboys.

I said we need to get Dairy Queen today.

You said you well, here's okay.

We're taking down the curtain.

Yeah.

Weiger said, Look, Handles is so much better than Dairy Queen.

Yes.

It clearly would have won.

Yes.

Let's just get Dairy Queen out of there.

DQ Dairy Queen.

Yeah.

DQ is DQ.

That's why that's it.

And Mitch, you wouldn't stand for it.

No, you wouldn't.

You want to.

I want to stand for it.

This is the 10th.

This is a

tournament of champions of champions.

That's right.

And I would not stand for not having us taste every little bit of food that we have to.

I like that we did it.

I think it was good to try it.

And I think that there's a clear winner.

Should we do a countdown?

Three, three, two, one.

Handles.

I'm kidding.

I would have said handles is my answer.

1945, an Ohio housewife opens a Youngstown ice cream parlor using her own fresh-picked fruit, churning its sweet cream batches in-house.

1948, a young couple that relocated to California opens a burger joint with a pioneering car culture innovation, the first ever drive-through.

Two chains with storied histories and strong regional allegiances, beloved for their still-made fresh-in-house fare and their frozen-in-time aesthetics and menus.

With both now expanding well beyond their original service areas, can they continue to scale up without losing their homespun charm?

Burgers, ice cream, a matchup close to one Doughboy's heart and substances that clog both Doughboys' hearts.

The original Munch Madness champion against the newest member of the Platinum Plate Club, who will emerge and continue on the rocky road to chain restaurant immortality.

This week on Doughboys, the quarter-pounder finals round of Munch Madness 10 MMX, the tournament of tournament champions, continues with the baby bitch region.

2016 champion in-and out burger.

This is 2021 champion replacement handles.

Ring the bell.

Are you getting glare off my glasses?

Are these mics alive man?

Casey, you're getting glare off my glasses.

You're good.

Go to hell.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Academy Award-winning director Sean Baker's dozen, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell.

Wow, wow.

Okay, that's good.

Thought of this while watching the Oscars.

Would love to hear y'all's thoughts on this year's ceremony.

I like that they took us really through the thought process.

Yeah, that's what came up.

And now they're asking us to to do work.

Apparently.

Our thoughts?

Joel from Dallas wants our thoughts, roast at birdfock.com.

I didn't watch the Oscars, but I thought as far as the.

You didn't watch any of that.

I didn't watch them, but as far as who got what awards.

I watched the spirit awards exclusively.

That's just because you're going up and down Venice Beach with a metal detector.

These celebrities dropped some of their stuff out there.

I'm genuinely shocked you're not a metal detector guy.

Or does it just constantly register you?

Is it just constantly finding you?

Are you finding, and have you ever collected or found any precious metals?

I have a little bit of silver.

Look.

But I, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe later in life.

He is a train guy.

Oh, he's actually a train guy.

We love the choo-choo.

And later in life, I could see myself being a metal detector guy.

I do like finding things.

Start now.

No, you know what?

I'm going to imagine that you're going to be one of those guys at that Disney museum here in Los Angeles where you have like, you're a grown man who rides on a small train have you seen this oh yeah yeah yeah this is a good thing what is this so it's the Walt Disney train like it's where he kept his trains and they're basically like where Walt Disney kept his personal train yes but they're but they are like train sets like no it's it's hard to describe what Disney almost I mean that's his plan for Disney was the was Griffith Park basically it's like go-kart his plan for Disney was to just have a park was that was to be Griffith was was

because he was right there oh Mitch, are you okay?

We are one minute in, and Mitch is donezo.

We might as well be.

I wanted, I was trying to, I was trying to help out and back up Paul.

I appreciate that.

Now you got, you got, you had nothing

scared.

No, I just, I know that he wanted Disneyland to be in Griffith Park.

Yes, and so what he kind of created were these go-kart-size trains.

So what you have is a lot of people who are enthusiasts, hobbyists, but adult, a lot of older people just riding alone on a train with multiple cars.

And he's going to go around this one little circle where he's built this train.

She's loving this idea.

Have you been there?

I haven't, but I'll go.

I'm going to tell you where it is.

By the time it happens, Wigger will be covered in tattoos.

They'll be all tatted up, out there riding a chicho alone.

They should only all be tiger tattoos.

I feel like, because to keep the name Tiger Wigger, you should only get tiger tattoos.

Okay.

Have you seen it?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Like, like, it's like Jesus on the the cross, but it's a tiger stuff.

Ooh, like Danny Trejo's big tattoos.

You know, like, it's like a big tiger here.

I would like you to do

a gritty, like a Joker 2 version of Tony the Tiger.

I'm like, they're great.

Yeah.

There's also different kinds of.

Ooh, it would also be cool if you had like tiger stripes.

Not just the

tiger, but certain areas you just.

That is going into insane, an insane man, Sarah.

Oh, really?

Have you seen 3D tattoos?

You can get those, too.

Wait, really?

Oh, 3D tattoos are wild.

I've seen it, and I've also seen that where they have glitter in them.

Oh, they appear to have glitter in them.

Wow.

3D tattoos will blow your mind because it's just the perspective, but it looks like a piece of your skin is missing.

Oh, wait, I've seen things like that.

Yeah.

I feel like the thing we're going to see in the tattoo.

Could you go to like hog through it?

You can make it bigger.

You can make it seem bigger.

That's all that's going to be.

The person who's looking at it has to be in a very specific position.

You have to shave off all your pubic hair, and then you basically basically create a giant train tunnel.

So it really does.

Like you are creating this.

And if you only move a front of it.

If you move a fraction of an inch, it appears to dissipate.

So I have to have someone over and I have to be like, here, stand in that taped circle.

Do you see your mark?

Your mark is there.

I'll be over here.

You're going to like what you see.

I know they're making an American Psycho sequel.

That would be a great moment to make his...

people stand in circles like to for him to see it but that would be a great way to kill somebody like that's what we're here to do do.

Pitch on the American Psycho reboot, right?

Get that ZAG card ready.

Yeah, come on.

Wait, for the American Psycho.

Come on, Bateman Jr.

Come on, Patrick Bateman Jr.

All right, so you are not a metal detector guy.

No, I don't know.

Hey, I'll give you credit.

Metal detector, anthrax, Primus, you can detect that sort of metal.

That's right.

I want to call Primus a metal band.

In fact, I'd say metal detector is not going off for Primus.

Okay, all right.

Yeah, that's C, but it would go off for Anthrax.

It would definitely not go off for Primus.

Get it together.

I'm sorry.

Those are your two biggest heavy metal bands.

What on earth?

Can you make like three heavy metal bands?

Tool?

No.

I don't think of tool.

Do you think of tool as an impactment kind of?

It's kind of hard to see to be a metal because there's a lot of like weird metal too.

Like poison was like heavy metal, but they're not heavy.

They're like hair metal.

Yeah.

Yeah, hair metal metal.

What's a straight metal?

I mean, Metallica is the most down the middle.

Megadeth, yeah, Judas Trudy shirt.

Ozzy Osborne.

What's the name of the Black Sabbath?

Okay.

All right, Fair enough.

See, that's why he is

doing.

He's a bit here today, right?

We were deciding who we are.

We're here.

It's Doughboys.

Tournament of tournament of champions of champions.

That's right.

Todd Cock.

AKA.

We have a lot of tournament action to get to.

Mitch has a drop to play.

Before we do that.

Todd Cock.

Before we get to Todd Cock.

Todd Cock.

What is it?

Tot Cock.

Tot Cock.

Kinship.

Get on.

Tournament of Kinship.

Todd Cock.

Champion of Champions.

Cock.

Talk cock.

Tot cock.

Before we get to top cock, I do want to bring.

Tot cock.

Tot cock.

It's not the first time I've heard talk cock.

I don't like that.

You heard it?

And what way was they said to you?

Expand.

A doctor diagnosed me with it.

He's like, ooh, you've got Tot Cock.

There's no better word for it than that.

Americans like, oh, too.

Tot Cock Cock.

Tot Cock.

You know, Mitch he taught cock for a while

oh man

I I had a friend who hired a stripper for his bachelor party

and um

just

abandoned the act

she was uh there was in Long Island and she was trying to act very sexy and she said you know I used to be a secretary and I would type all day now I type cock

and everyone was like wait what no one understood how that kind of

where that kind of work and then really upset the balance of the room

wait what did she mean she was i think she was trying to be sexy like do sexy talk like i used to type all day now i type cock

like

wow the balance of the room in these scenarios has to it can't get too horny it can't be there's like a very perfect yeah balance delicate delicate balance you can't say that you type cock yeah it's it's just confusing And it may be like, now I use my fingers for a different purpose.

Now I get weird.

I'm going to get it up.

I love it.

I'm going to call her up about it.

You know that thing you said 15 years ago?

I've still been thinking about it.

I want to point this out before we get into the meat of the show.

Our video producer, Casey Donahue, is also.

Wow.

Catching Carrie out of it.

I want him out.

Look, our guests are allowed to speak their minds.

Is also, of course, a very talented filmmaker.

And you have a Kickstarter for your film, your upcoming indie horror film, My Love for You is Deep, but The Devil Loves Me Deeper.

Please tell everyone about the Kickstarter and tell everyone about the film.

Yeah, thanks, Wags.

I'm making my first feature film.

As Wags said, it's called My Love for You is Deep, but The Devil Loves Me Deeper.

It's going to be a real lo-fi kind of analog horror film.

We're going to shoot it on tape.

It's going to be really something different

that no studio is really going to make anytime soon.

Right.

Well, you're saying tape.

You like VHS tape?

Mini DV tape.

Oh, wow.

I love that.

Yeah.

It's going to look really cool.

A lot of inspiration from David Lynch and Dario Argento and David Cronenberg.

There's some body horror.

I'd say Soderbergh, too.

You're shooting it on DV.

That's a tough one.

Yeah,

very Soderbergh.

Yeah.

But yeah, what is this?

Schizopolis?

but now I'll ask you this.

You know, David Lynch famously, after lunch, would do like a meditation.

Everyone had to do a meditation, or at least they took a break from meditation.

Will you institute that same kind of break so you can be here for Doughboys taping?

Great question.

Great question.

This is where I do my meditation is during Doughboys.

All right, so you will like walk off set in the middle and be like, I have to be back.

A lot of people,

when listening, when doing or listening to Doughboys, are meditating, are using it as an opportunity to drift off.

you're not wrong.

Soda berg, kind of the topic of today's uh conversation.

Why are you

quiet?

Why are you whispering?

Because I didn't like what I was saying.

If you don't believe in it, you don't have to say it.

I don't even understand how that would play into it.

I think I can follow it.

Soda and a berg.

Yeah, but the thing is, soda is not an element.

Wow, you gotta sell that way harder if that's where you're going.

Don't do it.

Because you have a soda.

I have a soda.

I have a soda.

Boo.

This is bad podcast.

It's hard because you guys, I feel like I listen to you guys all the time and you have such a, you have such a boner for the fact that you've been doing this for nine years, 10 years.

You act like you're so old.

Guess what, assholes?

We've been doing this 15 years.

Wild.

Truly wild.

You guys are good at it and have gotten, I feel like, gotten better.

Yeah.

We've regressed.

Yeah, we've regressed.

Have you guys ever checked?

This is what I was saying to Jason the other day.

I was like, I would have loved you guys to done your cholesterol on episode one

and then almost have a yearly check-in.

It would have been a great

idea.

It would be great if there was a, exactly that, a once-a-year episode that featured the same doctor.

Yes.

You guys got your tests or somebody came and walked you through the results.

Oh, that would be amazing.

Do that.

Let's do that.

Yeah.

And can you retroactively have done it for the last 10 years?

I can check my medical.

I bet you.

I think a doctor episode would be a fantastic, fun episode.

Because I think some sort of intervention is needed.

We were going to get our T checked.

We were going to check our TO.

Oh, we've all been waiting for that.

But

the fans all know that's going to be a boring episode.

Yeah.

Because it's going to be zero on both.

I don't know.

Now that that Tiger's on Weiger, I think they're going to T this up.

That's going up.

The Tiger one.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a very high T level.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I exercise a good amount.

So maybe that could do it, but I don't know how any of this shit works.

I think my

body is decaying.

Oh, no.

Our bodies are imploding.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys look great.

Thank you so much.

Oh, you guys do too.

Absolutely stunning.

Thank you.

Good looking crew.

I'm thrilled to be here.

Hey, speaking of beefcakes, Casey,

you're always looking great.

You always look like a million bucks.

And tell people how they can contribute to your Kickstarter, how they can help your movie come to be.

You could go learn all about it at CaseyMakesMovies.com.

Real easy link.

Go there.

It'll take you to the Kickstarter.

You can check out all the rewards.

There's a lot of cool stuff we're offering.

What's the best thing you're going to give it away?

Honestly, I think the best thing is going to be the live stream premiere of the movie.

It'll be like

we're going to do like an in-studio thing.

We're going to do a Q ⁇ A after.

People are going to be able to see the movie before we do any festivals or anything like that.

I'll tell you this.

You haven't started shooting it yet.

I know Michael Connolly, a bosch writer, Michael Connolly, he is just doing a thing where he'll name a character after you.

And you could also...

That's a great idea.

You know, there it is.

Might add that to the title.

And

for one price point, we'll name a character after you.

For another price point, we will kill that character because it's a horror movie, right?

We will kill that character and maybe for another price

in the manner that you dictate.

But that's a lot.

That's a lot.

Wait, no, no, keep going.

And for another price.

Now it's going to be becoming a choose your own adventure.

But if I'm like, you know, if I'm like Weiger, I would want to be able to donate enough money that I could put a picture of like Mitch up in a scene.

So maybe it's in the background if someone's getting killed.

You know, you see that.

That could be, you know, like, yeah.

Yeah.

Like, you know, you're going to kind of put, you know, because it's expensive to clear all those pictures.

That's a good question.

I don't need to put a picture of Mitch in because Mitch is going to be in the movie next time.

So does Mitch's presence in the movie de facto mean that it will not get Mitch's thumbs up for horniness?

The

tag on all movies that are horny having Mitch's thumb up.

I'm happy you brought that up because I do want this to

become a thing.

I just think there should be a little bit of text underneath that says that's not his thumb.

That's a talk.

Congrats, Casey.

We're excited for you.

I hope this all is.

I do think that

there could be

a thing where

I'm just putting this out there

that Wags will make a cameo in the movie if if it gets to a certain point, like even just as an extra.

I'm just saying

that could push it over the top with our freaks.

That's a million.

I mean, I'm putting you on the spot very much so right now.

Well, putting him on the spot to be an extra doesn't seem like a hard act.

He's never been more mad at me in his entire life.

Mike, you really are fucking him out.

It's like, dude, you don't give me work.

This is the same man who earlier today said he wishes that he could inglorious bastards our listeners.

Hey, hold on.

But does that mean trap them in a theater and light it on fire?

look, I was the one who started it.

I started it.

I was the one who.

I don't disagree.

I said that if we were talking because they were talking about my chime, and I was like, these people who are being got to shut the phone off.

I swear to God,

I wrote a note in my notes app

of things I wanted to remember about Doughboys.

And I wrote down, if that chime goes off, I will lose it.

And I'm calling it now.

I was going to wait for it.

It's an aggressive chime for somebody who works a lot.

That's the thing.

I feel like the people who have the most aggressive chimes are people who are like, oh, they're not in this world.

They don't understand that.

That could be annoying.

Like, my mom's chime, it sounds like an alarm is going on.

Like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

I was like, oh, you don't need that for a text message.

You should know at this point.

It's not because he's afraid his house is being broken into, which is not happening.

Okay, okay.

Hold on a second.

Hold on.

Hold on now.

I'm going to say this.

Hold on.

Do you need to take a minute?

No, no, no.

I got this.

We were making fun of these people who were making up scenarios of my chime going off in movie theaters, things that have never happened.

People being like, it happens on Saturday.

You respect the movie theater more than this show.

100%.

Oh, my God.

And

it's never gone off as much as it did.

And it's also now, the alarms are set to just be in one area.

Because if the window does get smashed,

there's a few minutes for

you have a few minutes for what?

So you notify my neighbors to save Wally and Early.

Oh, I see.

I see.

So they don't get out.

Because if they get out, it's game over.

You got to get one of those sponsors, you know, whatever it is, to so when someone breaks in, they go, Hey, hey, get out of here.

That's me, though.

That's what I'm going to do.

Because it will go off and then I'll go, hey,

hey, what are you doing?

Oh, see, now I hope your house does get broken into while we're on air so we can have that whole thing unfold.

No, no, God.

Can you imagine what a famous episode this would be if, in the middle of it,

you know, the episode where Mitch's house gets broken into and break into Mitch's house now, okay?

Also, just seeing Mitch do not invite me.

Yeah,

Mitch, today, you are terrified of doing your own podcast that you've been doing for 10 years.

Sure.

Like, terrified of the fans.

Having this energy, like, like, I'm just imagining this energy with a burglar.

Okay, with a burglar,

I would tell him what's what.

Here's a sample of it.

Hey.

Okay, wait a minute.

Get him.

What are you doing?

Hey, man.

Come on, man.

There's nothing in there that you'd want.

I mean, I would tell him there's nothing in there that you really want.

There's just two cats.

I would say, stay there.

I'll come and give you money so you can leave.

I'll come and give you money.

That's what I'll say.

I'll have you off to just leave.

That's what's going to start happening now.

People are going to go to your house

and they're going to say, I will leave if Mitch comes and pays you to get it.

Then fine, I'll pay you.

You don't have one cool thing in your house.

Wally, Irma.

I mean, you have like dozens of stairs.

I do have a lot of stairs.

I mean, you can't take a stair.

I don't know.

Well, you could if you want.

A house with that many stairs.

There's got to be other

pretty

stairs oh whoa you have that neon spotify logo that they sent us as a christmas gift after they canceled our live show that's true

i did i hung it up

you hung it up yeah

remind you that they canceled your show it says doesn't it say now recording it says now recording and i'll say this there's two there's two things about it one my mom is like that's cool you should put it up and then that will be like the room you record and i was like my mom is right why not it seems nice yeah sure and then also we didn't get canceled they canceled every single thing after we started doing stuff that's right yes they canceled the entire program once our show started it wasn't like it was because of your show your show began a cascade of disastrous results it was possible because of the chime i went and got

it's chime time it's just chime time on totcock these these psychopaths are on there and they're like they're they're making up scenarios and then i was like we should do a live show and then we should demolition the theater and the world will be a better place and everyone agreed we were with we were talking with the YKS guys

and

everyone agreed.

And then you said that, as much as I'd liked, and Glorious Bastards are fans.

Yes.

Wow.

I think that they'd like it.

Which is the thing.

Yeah, that's why I worry they'd all die with a smile.

Absolutely.

None of the conversation that you guys had with those guys.

Should be you.

None of you should know about the fans.

I have an update.

I agree.

The Reddit isn't good now.

The Reddit, I'm presuming, is bad still.

You don't have to look.

I was talking to Anya about this before you guys came.

When Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness came out, I did not, I was unable to reach Billy Corgan to tell him that this was a disappointing album.

You're saying?

I talked.

Wait, a disappointing album.

Boo.

Wow.

Gish and Siamese Dream.

Those are Smashing Pumpkins records.

You mean?

Gish, incredible record.

But I told everybody that I thought that album was bad.

I was a real loudmouth loudmouth about it.

But you know who didn't hear a goddamn word about it?

The people that made the record.

That's fair.

We shouldn't hear the complaints about our shows.

That's fair.

And this is, we are making, we are making melancholy.

If it's sad it's here.

Look,

I got my ashes last night.

I went and got ashes.

Happy ash for it.

I went and got my ashes last night.

You and Mark Wahlberg always go together, right?

You go together.

And then you work out.

Yeah, you cold plunge, you get those ashes because you want to make sure you don't, if you get ashes and then you cold plunge, it washes right off.

You talk about how if both of you had been on the flight, 9-11 wouldn't have happened.

I think that is true with me.

I'm not sure if it's true with Wahlberg.

You think if you had been on any of the punches.

I sat down for church and it was,

they were speaking Spanish, and I was like, oh, man, what do I do?

Do I sit here and...

You, you, like me, you've been to enough church.

It's kind of fun.

It's like you can listen to it in a different language.

You know where all the beats are.

Yeah, and then they did eventually start speaking English.

But I was very nervous at first.

Interesting choice.

And

I think they were doing like a bilingual

church.

That was nice.

And I was in there, and it was actually very comforting, and I felt bad.

No, so sorry, were you there wearing an ice jacket?

You've been wearing those around just

a little bit.

I see you walking around in the Costco parking lot.

Ice jacket was a kid.

I didn't realize that.

I thought it was, it's a cool as ice from Vanilla Ice's movie.

Oh, I thought it was a Bud Light Ice one.

It's not that ice, but it was a bad move to wear it.

But it was very nice.

I was relaxed.

We've recorded the Munch Madness has got me worked up a little bit.

Why?

Because it sucks.

And we've done three days in a row of it.

Should I not say that out loud?

It doesn't matter, whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Hit him with a drop, Emma.

Here it comes.

My mom will make me eggs.

She'll say, Mikey, you want some eggies?

As I wake up and I say,

Yes, mother.

It's a warm friend in a

five forks.

Wow.

That'll wrap it up.

We'll call it there this episode.

Wow.

Of Doughboys.

John Hodgman.

Wow.

Arden Maureen.

Wow.

Owen Wilson.

Paul F.

Tompkins.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow really has taken over the show.

That was so hard to sit through with you guys here.

I loved it.

Honestly, that's the funniest you've been all showed.

I was having so much fun when you were giving this guy a hard time about metal detectors.

You don't like it when it gets over to your cat.

I don't like it when it's over here.

Not at all.

I can't get the, I don't see the, I don't see the email yet.

It hasn't uploaded the email yet.

I got an audition, though.

Hey, wow.

What do you got?

Let's rehearse.

Is it for Casey's movie?

It is for Casey's movie.

What the fuck?

I'm going to audition for Casey's movie.

I heard there's a part for me.

Oh, this is fantastic.

I'm going to put myself on tape.

Wow.

I won't reveal.

Can I look at it for a second?

I won't reveal the name of it or anything, but I will read you the

description.

I'll just read you the role.

Yeah.

Okay.

Role of a man.

A man.

Late 20s.

Nope.

Okay.

You're.

Mitch, they went another way.

You are loud and lovable,

endlessly enthusiastic.

Sure.

Okay.

Okay.

You never lost the high school spirit.

Needlessly contrarian.

And

he's the kind of friend who will drop everything to help you but he also has a habit of being too excitable

knows too much about walt disney's plans for griffith park

and his mom cooks him eggies

uh loyal and can i oh wait can i see that

oh and the sides are just no peeking

and the roll is for tac cock

i should be clear that my mom sometimes when things dry up my mom sends me some auditions every so often

Anyways, oh, it's sent.

Thank you.

You should have it, but I can read it if you don't.

Okay.

Oh, I can read it.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

And here we go.

Here it is.

Dear Doughboys, Emma, and the Drop King.

This is my first ever drop.

The show has been a source of nice vibes throughout this pandemic.

Wow.

Take care, Alex.

Victoria, British Columbia.

Wow, you got to work out your way through that.

You got a real backlog there.

And just whoever wrote that, just know that Wagger read like like this, you burn alive.

Drop King, maybe get some fresh drops in there.

I think this might be an issue with 2021.

What are we doing, DK?

I think the issue is there are a lot of drops in the Dropbox that have copyrighted music in them.

Got it.

Have you seen it before?

And going back.

Taken down?

Have you had anything?

We have, yeah.

This is a big, we had a big

argument today.

Argument.

I did call it for the show, and then

Wags was like, we can't do that.

And then

we talked about it.

And something did to get DCMA'd, right?

We've had two things come down.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That were drops or that were similar.

One of them was a drop.

One of them's back up because it was a weird other thing.

But we have an episode that's currently down from another.

No, it's a high-popular thing, and then we can't get it back up yet.

I'm glad that we're finally, you know, really kind of tightening up the reins here podcasting.

Especially on everybody, everybody just basking in all this money.

You guys have too much freedom.

Yeah, you play 20 seconds of a Madonna song.

Time for you to get off your fucking high horse.

They took down the episode where Weiger and I read The Godfather and we perform each part.

They took that down, unfortunately.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

Mitch, we got a couple of great friends of the show in the studio today.

Very happy to have them because to be perfectly honest, another good friend of the show, Evan Susser, has been freezing us out.

Hasn't been responding to our text.

I don't know what's going on.

I know, I don't know what's happening.

Okay,

I, okay.

Yeah.

I saw Susser the other day.

I don't, I didn't want to say this.

Yeah.

I I saw Susser the other day.

I was outside of head gum for something else.

He was talking to Wayne Brady.

Wow.

And he was saying specifically, I overheard a part of the conversation where he was saying to Wayne Brady, because I think Wayne Brady must have asked, he was saying, no, surprisingly, Mitch is a bad improviser.

Wow.

He wouldn't be good for your show.

Well, this is actually.

And I was blown away.

I actually, because I was actually in that meeting and they were talking to Wayne Brady about a show called Whose Meal Is It Anyway?

And so it was like the idea is that you would go around the different fast food restaurants and try their meals.

And so like, they were trying to get like, they said they need new blood.

Yeah, they need new people.

But

whose meal is it?

I think Wayne wanted you and Suss killed it.

And I think Doofson got on.

Doofson?

I said, I don't know what's going on with the commissioner.

Because this is a big deal.

This is much madness.

It's much madness.

Much less racist than Doofson.

I don't know if that's something you want to lead me.

Much less racist implies still quite racist.

Yeah.

Racism at a high.

I mean, Doofson's like really slow.

That's a good point.

From How Did This Get May, Jason Medzukas, Paul Shearer, both in studio together for the first time.

Wow.

Don't voice crossing over.

Very exciting.

I mean, this is what an event.

We're very happy to have you here.

Thrilled to be here.

I got to say, and, you know, I've eaten a few things on this show.

This was one of my most favorite assignments of all time.

I was realizing this, and we'll talk about it, but these are two foodstuffs.

Yeah, we took you to some really shitty spots.

I'm just thinking of the best.

We went to Bubba Cumber Shrimp Company.

That was rough.

Yeah,

we've had some unpleasant meals.

But this is two things.

There's two chains I love, and these are two foods that I love, burgers and ice cream.

Like two of my top foods.

Oh, yeah.

I feel like this is your category.

This is the baby bitch category.

Yeah,

it's been renamed the baby bitch category.

Baby bitch region.

I'm sad that Susser isn't here also to give you the lowdown because he's very good at it.

I don't need to hear from Susser, period.

Oh my God.

Wow.

Listen,

you might recall me

years ago on one of the live streams trying to force a recall of Susser.

Wow.

Yeah, you were trying to.

I don't understand who put him in as commissioner.

That's a great question.

He's been with us since the beginning, and he's a pretty core part of the show, but it feels like he's maybe drifting away.

It's time to make a change.

Last year, it felt like, you know, hey, he got deposed and Koala came in, and then Susser came back and you know that i was like maybe he's rejuvenated maybe he's back in the spirit of things but then it feels like he's falling i don't think it's enough of a koala's not enough of a threat susser's not good susser's not going to be where you're going to keep kowalek

look it was it was the it was the bob iger move of bringing in chappy yeah

and and we like of course we were

back yeah yeah

I'm curious about, okay,

since we are talking burgers, I want to start there.

So, Sheer, what do you like on a burger?

What is your favorite kind of burger?

I am a very plain burger person.

I like to have just the cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, relish, or pickles.

I'll go either way.

But I don't like to load it up too much.

I'm not into like the Western burger.

There's a period of time.

That's a Western burger.

Like, I think you put an egg on it.

You know, like, that's why I don't know.

It depends.

I think of the Western burger as like bacon, onion, strings, or onion rings, and barbecue sauce.

Okay, all right.

Sometimes an egg will go on.

Yeah, like, there's, like, there's certain ones where I think I like the purity of just like a backyard burger, like that kind of vibe.

Yeah.

And I will say, this is going to play into a larger part.

I'm not going to get too ahead of it.

What I have found in LA is I think fat burger kind of captures that like very

kind of classic burger.

I taste all the condiments.

That's what I want to do too.

I want to feel it all cold.

I'm a huge, we're both huge fat burger fans.

Love fat burger.

Yeah.

Never had a fat burger.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

Maybe that's the next time we do.

I will say they are very egg like egg is a big right.

Like I feel like egg is a little bit more like a burger.

Well they will cook an egg on the flat top and very often like a very common thing to do a fat burger is get an egg on top of it which obviously is not a thing you can eat.

But what do you do normally bun-wise for a burger?

So for me, so today we're talking about in and out and a lot of fast food burgers will have an egg-free bun because it's to have an eggy bun makes it more expensive, makes it less, like it's not full of preservatives, it's not shelf-stable.

It's gotta, it's, it, it's, for those places that are operating at such a margin, I'm pretty okay.

So I can have an in-and-out burger.

But any of those places that become, our burgers are brioche or fancy or have a, have an egg wash and a something, you know, any, like about whatever, 10, 15 years ago, everybody's buns got cool.

Everybody's buns got fancy.

Well, this is everybody had aioli and mayos and all this stuff.

I'm so irritated with this thing because I feel like this has happened with like chicken and waffles.

Like everyone for a while was like, oh chicken and waffles and then all of a sudden you got all this like artisan chicken and waffles just give me the thing that I like that the Roscoe's don't know Roscoe's is the best yeah you're dressed it up Roscoe's is the best version but we see we see the Ouroboros of influence happen where it's like there's the fast food one

influences yeah

the the fast food version inspired okay the fast food version inspires like the you know the gentrified like the gastro pub like the the upscale new american version which then inspires Now that, you know, then they have a version that's that's kind of elevated, and then a fast food chain tries to come up with their version of that.

Yeah.

The cycle continues.

Like, does Umami Burger still exist or have all of fast food absorbed its

things?

Umami Burger definitely, I think, had a giant fall from grace.

I will also argue, I love Umami Burger.

I thought it was

fine.

Yeah, I thought it was fine.

It's now been replaced here in Los Angeles, one of the locations with Boychik Spagels, which got to talk about that place being awesome.

Is it?

Oh, it's a little bit of a location.

Wait, which location?

Where's the location, dude?

The one right on Hollywood Boulevard, right across right across from Covell there?

Oh,

Umami Burger has receded quite a bit.

I don't know how many locations it has left.

There was a point where it was pretty ubiquitous in the city, and now I was just looking at it real quick, and

it looks like maybe right now the only one in the city is at the airport, which is not a good sign.

No.

But

one of the founders of Umami Burger, I watched on it, I saw on a YouTube video of

a squatter being evicted.

Like he, and he was, he'd like fallen on such, like, he'd gotten into such sort of circumstances, but it was like, it was that sort of thing.

Sometimes you sympathize with somebody who's like, oh, this person's, you know, like really struggling.

This guy was like being an asshole to like a widow who was living by herself and was like living in her guest home rent-free and like would not leave.

So someone was like throwing him out.

I was like, this is crazy that this happened to this guy who at one point had what looked like a billion-dollar business.

Here's what I'll say.

I think Umami Berger's death was at the hands of Shake Shack.

Sure, I can see that.

Because Shake Shack really has expressed.

I'd like to get involved first.

But like Shake Shack, like that, I've never seen a burger chain take off in such a way.

Like it's kind of fascinating to watch because

the first one was opened by my house.

It was a little, it was a shack in this like little park by my house in New York City.

Oh, in New York City.

Yeah, in Madison Square Park, right?

In Madison Square Park, and you had to wait like 45 minutes to get a burger.

I remember the day we found out the human giant got picked up, we were online at Shake Shack getting a burger.

and uh but when you look now every place i go there's a shake shack like shake shacks are everywhere yeah and they scaled well yes you know like that that did it correctly whereas umami burger it felt like got super big and then just like and i think evaporate i think umami burger still is too fancy for america i think it's like you know it's like it's like shake shack is just burgers and i feel like that's what they were able to do yeah shake shack itself though is now kind of like taking a step back they overexpanded they closed five of their six la locations including the one right by our studio.

And so part of that, wasn't that also a part of that, like, we're not going to pay that extra, like the tax for like a yeah, but that's also a thing that happens with scaling up is that they're trying to like cut costs.

And so it, it, it's, it's a, but you're, yes, you're right.

I remember a time when Shake Shack was something special.

I remember it's like, oh, it's only in New York.

I need to go.

I remember it being in New York and making a special trip to get Shake Shack and also visit the 9-11 Memorial.

That was one trip I did.

You do it to get you do it before or after.

Or Or no, you get the burgers and you bring them down to

wrappers in that bottomless pit.

I'm pretty sure I did the memorial first.

I walked through the memorial and then I was like, okay, time to get Shake Shack.

I fucking spent enough time there.

You went to Shake Shack and then you didn't go to the memorial and you were like, oh, I forgot.

Well, no, but this is, I think this is actually

a good segue into In-N Out because In-N-Out is, I think a lot of people will...

call it like one of their favorite burger places, but it hasn't really expanded past California, right?

I mean, or it gets in Las Vegas, I guess, but it's like this is a whole thing.

Like they, they have, they've tried some expansions.

They've tried some quixotic expansions into Texas and Colorado that have had some success, but they've still largely stayed clustered in California.

But yeah, they've tried to expand further into the Southwest.

Because of ingredient sourcing?

Like, do they have, like, is it such that, like, because to me, I'm surprised there aren't in-and-outs, even at the very bare minimum in airports.

Yeah, no, part of it seems an obvious thing.

part of it is ingredient sourcing.

The other thing, because they want everything to be, you know,

and they want everything to be fresh.

But the other thing is that every location is family-owned.

They don't franchise.

So they have like pretty tight control over it.

Well, because I was going to say, there's something about it, there's such a simplicity to In-N-Out that it feels like it's a very easy concept to

bring anywhere.

But if it's family-owned, I guess, yeah, I don't know.

I think it's the Christian cups.

They're like not that easy to produce the Christian cups that have the little cool sayings on the bottom.

So

I think that's a big part of it.

I'm just going to write that down.

Now, this is a question I did have about this, John 36.

Are we blessed because we drank out of those cups?

Oh, we are.

Does every cup turn every drink into holy water?

Yeah.

I think yes.

Or holy shake.

It depends on what you got.

And what, and that's why you should always have one in-and-out cup in your car at all times because it's like an overwhelming.

It's like putting a little guardian angel on your dashboard.

You know, you have one of those in your cup holder.

It's like it's protective.

And any booze you pour into it, it's blessed.

That's black.

And it won't smell on your breath.

That popped really good.

Definitely try that out.

Wait, did it dry?

That feels like that would be a thing that would be like

in a horror thing of like a guy has a cup and like throws it in a fucking Dracula's face, and the Dracula's like, ah!

And he turns out in and out.

You think that would just be in a movie?

Yeah, so you established it.

Casey,

Casey, put in your movie.

Where the Dracula gets root beer that's in a holy cup from In-N-Out thrown on him.

So you have to add, you do have,

you have to add Dracula to the movie.

I'm going to say this.

Okay.

Part of why Casey said that's real good is because Casey is on a root beer group chat.

Oh, wow.

I listened to that episode.

I did not be on that chat.

I listened that episode.

I want in.

During the pandemic, I signed up for a Root Beer of the Month club.

Wow.

And every month, a box of 30 different bottles of root beer would show up at my house.

And I would

I gained so much weight

just drinking because I do not normally drink soda.

So I just was hammering root beer.

Root beer is so good.

Rudy.

It's really good.

That, and I once tried to, as a treat during the pandemic, because I was alone in my house, I was like, you know what?

I'm going to buy a box of golden grams.

I'm going to just get a box of cereal.

I'm going to treat myself to a sugar cereal.

What arrived?

You just gave me, you reminded me of something.

Okay, great.

I'll get to it in a minute.

Okay, okay.

What is going on with you?

I'm excited.

I'll tell you.

Sorry.

We're going to stop down so Mitch can get

so excited about it.

I'm not the golden grams.

I want to know.

Sorry, it's not that good.

Yours appears to be incredible.

I have a pitch.

Oh, I love this.

Golden Oreos cookies and cream ice cream.

Get it?

Yes.

Put it in my mouth right now.

I told you it's a good idea.

It's the only Oreos worth watching.

But here's the thing.

You can go to one of those places.

What's that place that smashes it all up?

Coldstone?

Coldstone.

You could put some, I bet you put golden grams and vanilla ice cream.

It's going to be great.

No, he's saying the golden Oreos.

The Oreo cookies.

Oh, the Oreos.

They're really good.

Especially the thin ones.

Oh, the Oreos.

Those thins are great.

I think they're strictly better than

the default Oreos.

Agree, 100% agree.

The weirdest is where I call the Post Malone Oreos.

What is that?

I like the Post Malone Oreos.

Wait, have you had them?

Oh, I've had them.

I didn't have them.

Oh, yeah, I've had them.

They're like that we split couches correctly without knowing.

The opponent insults him like that.

I take it as an honor.

We've both had the jelly roll chips ahoy, though.

Yes.

Have you guys had a bunch of people?

I love learning who a celebrity is from their

tie-in food stuff, stuff which has happened to me multiple times i learned who sabrina carpenter was because she had a sweet green bowl oh all right i ferguson texted me the other day and he said would you be insulted if i if i pitched you as jelly roll and i was like no that's fine i don't care that's nice well is are they looking to replace jelly roll yeah i think they need a new jelly roll

well you do have a beautiful voice um i i was in target the other day and i saw like they have uh reese's like uh pieces like cereal i forget what it's called right um but they the cover person now is angel reese Yeah.

And I was like,

this was a marketing media.

Like, someone's like, Angel Reese?

And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like, all of a sudden, like, she's the fates of reasons.

It's great.

It makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

Also, has a McDonald's meal.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

She's everywhere.

And she's out there advocating for WNBA players who get the same salaries as

NBA players.

A great moment to kind of get on that high order.

That's great.

Yeah.

Anyway, I ordered a box of golden grams.

Yes.

And what arrived was a box of 12 boxes of golden grams.

Oh, wow.

And

this was a disaster for me because, boy, did I eat all those golden grams.

Those are the, I love.

Destroyed.

Oh, what a great cereal.

What an, I mean, it was great, but also so dangerous because they were just always there.

We, we had a sponsor for How Did This Get Made at one point for a life cereal, and they sent us a box of like 14, 12.

It was a lot of boxes.

It was, it was three different types.

It was three different boxes, so many boxes of life.

I didn't know how to get rid of them.

And I started autographing them and giving them out to kids in my neighborhood.

And I was like, it was kind of like a dumb bit to

my next-door neighbors, people I know, but I'm like, hey, have a great life.

And it was a great bit to be walking around with autographed life boxes.

I have nothing to do with.

Mikey likes it.

Wow.

That's the original life, of course.

That's the life of it.

He likes it.

Hey, Mikey.

I looked like that boy as a boy.

I'm sure you did too.

Yeah, I was a little toe-headed kid.

About that,

like, like of those cereals of that form factor with that kind of like cinnamon-y seasoning, I was always a cinnamon toast crunch partisan.

I love the cinnamon toast crunch, and then at a certain point, they had cinnamon toast French or cinnamon French toast crunch, which was wow.

Yeah, I would do the cinnamon challenge every morning, and that was it.

I would just put a tablespoon of cinnamon in my mouth, and then you'd follow that up with the crack of the saltines challenge or whatever that one was.

To me, my parents wouldn't let me get sugar cereals, but I could get the variety pack.

And the variety pack had like a bunch of mini boxes and corn pops in there.

And corn pops to me

was one of my favorites.

I tried at the time.

Sugar pops.

They were called sugar pops when we were kids.

Digum was the frog.

Digum the frog.

Yes, wow.

But I tried them recently and I was let down.

I was let down by,

I think Digam was maybe honey snacks.

Honey,

I think you're right.

I think you're right.

Yeah, because he was like a cool

corn pops with something.

Corn pops was Joe Biden.

Yeah.

Oh, listen here, fella.

This cereal's a bad dude.

Here we are just making cereal great again.

Oh, there you go.

That's dig him.

That's dig him right there.

Let's dig him.

Yeah, let's dig him.

Yeah.

And you were saying the other night, Mike, you were talking about.

Jimmy was just holding up a picture of Joe Biden for a while.

Yep, that's dig him.

That's dig him.

And I remember Mike was texting me the other day during the State of the Union, he was the worst president we've ever had.

And I was like, yeah, you don't have to get that heart.

And you come on saying, yeah, finally, somebody calling truth.

It's the koala susser thing.

Let's talk ice cream a little bit.

And

first off, sweet treats generally.

I don't have the biggest sweet tooth, but when it comes to desserts, ice cream is my absolute favorite.

That's like number one for me.

Do you agree?

Hard to agree.

So, what is your, as someone who has to worry about egg consumption,

what are your go-tos for

sweet desserts?

Yeah, so for me, ice cream was always available in a cheap form factor that I could have.

So, so, you know, the,

um, what did you just say?

The

Stone Cold Creamery or the Haagenda's or all those good ice cream shops couldn't have them because they all have a custard base, which is an

extra.

Brigham's too?

What's that?

Brigham's.

Brigham's I could have.

Oh, yes.

Not only could I have it, but Brigham's for many years had my favorite flavor of ice cream, which was the,

what's it called?

Nestle Crisp?

What was that?

Chocolate pop.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

It was that flavor of ice cream.

It was like It was like a chocolate-y

base with like those, you know, poppy crackers, like a snap crack.

Yeah, rice krispies in it.

It was delicious.

Do you guys remember, and just because you're East Coasters too, Swenson's or Friendly's?

Friendly's was a

huge frustration.

Like a fribble.

Yeah.

You could do that.

I could do Friendly's.

Yes.

I could have Friendly's.

That's pretty good.

Oh, yeah, because those places were cheaper.

So I could have Friendly's ice cream.

I could have,

and then I could have like supermarket ice cream, or do you remember like a hoodsie?

Oh, of course.

So like if I went to a, I just had a big reaction.

If I went to someone's birthday party and I was sure to, another kid, sure to not be able to have anything there, my mom would send me with either a box of munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts or a thing of hoodsies.

Yes.

And I, so when everybody was having a treat, the parent would give me what I had brought.

This is like individual cup.

What is it?

Yes, with a little wooden handle.

Okay, okay.

Yes.

Chocolate and vanilla or all one.

It was a little, like a little spaceship or something.

We had the bottom of the bottom.

Hoodsies are big in Boston, and unfortunately, almost cheaper.

But maybe something like that.

Hoodsie also sounds like what an old Irishman would call like a young person.

They don't trust on the Irish.

It was because

the company was Hood, Hood Dairy.

Yes.

Got it.

And so it was a Hoodsie.

We were just talking the other day the watermelon roll from Friendlies.

Do you remember that?

Oh, yeah.

It was the best.

It looked like half of a watermelon sitting on the table with seeds.

To me, one of the biggest memories I have was like being able to eat an entire Reese's peanut butter cup sundae from Friendly's.

That was a big one.

And it had Reese's peasies in it.

Oh, yeah.

We went once.

He went to Puppagino's and Friendly's, and I think that both experiences were just okay.

Well, we went, so we went in Western Massachusetts.

So we went to a more rural location.

Already a huge mistake.

The fact that we were in Western Massachusetts already was bad.

Get rid of it.

Get rid of Western Massachusetts.

I agree.

That Friendly.

Give it to New York.

That Friendly.

Most fucking traders already act that way, anyways.

Also, felt like it was like going to close.

Like, it was like, it felt like a friendlies that was on its last.

I feel like friendlies is, I think the decline of friendlies is real.

And I think that any friendlies you're going to go to, you're not going to get when we were in the height of friendlies times.

I mean, friendlies.

They were also gigantic.

Those restaurants were huge.

Yeah, that was like Fridays.

That's how I feel about Bertucci's as well.

I shared a Friendly's story on my Instagram the other day.

It was the Sunday man.

They were like mint chip Sunday with the monster Sunday.

It It was like green ice cream and he had eyes and then a conehead.

Oh, whatever.

You might be able to do it.

You want to know the conehead sundae from

it, but I don't offhand remember it.

Funny.

Yeah, no, I feel like all those restaurants, because you guys have talked about like the staggering decline of Bertucci's into like now just a series of ghost kitchens for other things, but none of those or the death of the Pizza Hut

dine-in expenses.

The dine-in, yes.

I don't know.

Oh, I remember that guy.

I remember that Mitch is showing a, for audio listeners, like it's like a Sunday man and then a little kind of cone.

Yeah, the Sunday with a cone on top of it.

Picture the cone heads from the SNL, but a Sun in the Sunday.

Wait, they started off before the movie on SNL?

That's a great.

That's a great question.

I saw the movie first.

I think it's a movie.

Oh, hey, I'm sorry.

You know what?

It wasn't a coneheads movie?

Yeah, yeah, that's a movie.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's for sure.

No, no, no, but I think it's from

something.

Maybe that show Fridays?

Fridays, definitely, yeah.

It might be from Friendly's.

They maybe made the movie.

That's a Friendly's IP.

But Friendly's was the place.

I wonder if this was the case for you guys, too.

Friendly's, where I grew up, was where you went

at night to go someplace to just hang out.

Well, that was like post-prom.

It was like we went there and then we went elsewhere, but it was like, it was open.

It was a dinner.

It's basically Friendly's is a diner that catered to ice cream.

I mean, that was basically it.

And it feels like if you're a teenager, you can't go to a bar.

That feels like the spot.

Yeah.

What were you saying?

Bickford's.

was.

My mom worked at a Bickford's.

Oh, yeah.

Bickford's is like a diner, is a classic kind of diner.

I kind of want to find the person who knows what Swenson's is because there is a Swenson's by my house.

It was, and the only reason why I know it existed for sure is because in Goonies, when they lock Chunk in the fridge or the freezer, he's in there with a bunch of Swenson's ice cream.

And Swenson's was like an old, it was, I would imagine it was the competition to Friendly's because it was definitely like an ice cream parlor.

Is that a different Swenson's than the one we reviewed in the Midwest?

Yes, that is a different because swenson's in the midwest is like a a burger shop okay

i believe so milkshakes and stuff too so i was checking it because somebody yeah if there's a like i would love to see it maybe it got it got merged chunk who is so skinny compared to he's this chunk from goonies yeah he's not he wasn't big at all but in hindsight i like i wouldn't i wouldn't uh say that i would i would i wouldn't i wouldn't also say that he is i wouldn't say he was a beast but he's not not small like when you make it out like oh yeah we really had a weird perception

was tiny.

I'm so sorry.

Are you on a...

He was a child.

He was a child.

He was a fatal.

He was lovely.

He was tall.

He was small.

He did that truffle, shuffle.

His belly was a juice.

Do you want some sort of justice?

I want justice for a chunk.

Here's what I will say, because we've all gotten like America just general and the world has gotten fatter.

So if you go back and like, for me, Full Metal Jacket is the point of reference.

I re-watched that last year.

I can't believe how much worse

doing the exercises I would be than Private Pie.

Vincent D'Anofrio in that movie is like, that guy's the fat guy.

And everyone else is just like real thin.

And Vincent D'Anofrio has like my body, basically.

And he's like, they are like, look at this fat guy's shit.

Yeah, exactly.

No, no, we're just living in a foundationally different time.

Like, if you just look at footage, even from the 80s, everybody looks different.

You know, we are just eating and

we got our tannery.

What?

I finally kind of switched it all up.

That's what, that's what.

Thank God he's in there.

He sounds as healthy as he's going to make America.

Now, Weiger, I'll tell you, for my ice cream, for my ice cream pleasure, what I'm enjoying right now, like, I have two things that I love.

I love ice cream, but I also really love a cookie, like a good,

a good cookie.

Like, and people go, oh, we have a good cookie.

It's like, it's too big.

I'm not going to get into the cookies right now, but I'll say this.

I found my ice cream that I love.

It's my favorite ice cream.

It's McConnell's ice cream.

It started here in Santa Barbara.

McConnell's is great.

And it has expanded a little bit i think that you can get it more now definitely on the west coast but i find that to be one of my favorite it's in supermarkets now i've i can't i can't have it but i've seen them they have pints in supermarkets and i've and i've gotten you into or maybe i haven't sent it to you yet but the uh the soft serve that you can now buy in uh supermarkets it comes in like a pouch like a uh a kid's like uh you did you know like one of those apple sauces like a go-gurt yes like it's soft serve it's amazing it's in a pouch it's a pouch and it's it's so good my wife says I can't eat it when I'm around her because she does not like me sucking on a pouch, but it's

I do.

I like the vapification of the ice cream.

I am on board with this.

I'm going to give you all a picture of this thing.

It's the best.

My kids love it.

We all love it.

We're all just sucking on those pouches.

Cookies have gotten too complex.

That's what I agree.

Simple cookies.

Simple cookies, sure.

But hey, you want a brookie?

Simple cookie.

Yeah, I do.

Do I want a brookie?

I came here for cookie.

I don't even know what a brookie is.

Brownie cookie.

I'm going to talk about a brownie and a cookie.

Just

too much going on.

Ungopachka, I might say.

I was going to say that

as far as cookie perfection right now, especially in the chain sector,

go to Costco, double chunk chocolate cookie.

What am I?

I'm right here with

the Costco guys.

Yeah.

Because they turn me on the double chunk chocolate cookie.

Yeah, you're right.

It's so good.

Especially if you get it hot.

I was at Costco.

I told the story in the podcast before, but I was at Costco and I go up there.

And I think Co in Costco stands for cookie.

Mitch, it might, it very well might.

It might as well have at this point.

Cookie?

You think it's Costco?

It might be Costco.

Costcookie?

I think it's short for Costco cookie.

So, I the cost is short for Costco.

I go up there with my receipt.

Like, you know, you have, they have a little kiosk you order at now.

I ordered my double chunk of the receipt.

I go up there, and the woman, the woman there, who's very nice, is like, it'll be like two minutes.

They're in the oven right now.

I'm in heaven.

I'm in heaven.

So great.

Yeah.

Here's what I'm going to say.

Also,

I don't know if you've done a show about this, but Costco food, not the one that you're buying, but like the hot food, the pizza, it's good.

It's good stuff.

This guy loves Costco.

Oh, the Costco pizza, you'd be like, oh,

put it in a different box.

You'd be surprised.

He wants the Costco guys on the show.

He'd like to see the Costco guys on here.

By the way, they told me if I'm ever down in Boca Raton to stop by, we can go down there.

I'm happy to join you guys.

You know who went with me?

Are you going to go Boomer Doom?

Yeah, I was.

This guy.

Wow.

They were here last night at the Lakers game.

I know.

I saw him.

I can just picture Big Justice.

You're hanging out in Big Justice's room.

He's like, is this guy going to get the fuck out of my fucking house?

What are you talking about?

You're going to go to his house in Bumpa Rattan.

That's what I'm saying.

Stay in their house.

I didn't know.

I didn't go visit them.

We're doing an exchange.

We're doing an exchange.

Big Justice is coming out here.

Big Justice comes here.

Yeah, we're sending them wages.

God, I would love it.

AJ would fucking whip you into shape.

I did not know what the Costco guys were

until you guys were doing a bit about it on the show, such that I had to look up what you were talking about.

I don't know what this is.

Wait, have you guys?

This is my new favorite thing.

I'm so glad to bring this.

If I remember this, Midwestern Food Podcast.

Yeah.

Yes, we are aware of that.

We hate them.

Okay.

Yeah.

They're our enemies.

Is it a war?

Wait, really?

Turf war?

Yeah, the little, the little shits that talk about food.

Those are the Maryland foodies.

Oh, so that's it.

That's what I mean.

Yeah, Maryland foodies.

Oh, yeah, Maryland foodies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You hate them?

I think it's great.

I love what they're doing.

I think the next generation is in good hands.

Maryland.

No, no, no, no.

Get off our turf, you little fucks.

It's basically four, it's like four

sixth or seventh graders, and they just go like, what do you like at school?

Like,

I like the pizza sticks.

Oh, yeah, because it's kind of like a mozzarella stick, but yeah, but yeah, but yeah.

Battery.

The show's over.

That's it.

What did you get?

What did you get?

It's a wrap on the show.

How dare you?

Hold on.

What did you get?

There's a guy in my fucking yard.

Is he delivering a package?

It's Setting it off because a guy is in your yard.

Yell at him.

Yell at him.

Do it.

Talk to him.

Although, now you're going to invite him.

Hold on.

I'll yell at him.

Okay, great.

Mitch is going to yell.

Mitch is typing away at his phone.

He is going to, I guess, yell at a possible prowler on his property.

Hey!

Hey, it sounds like you're friends.

Hey, Jeff.

Hold on.

Hold on.

This is good podcasting.

Get out of here.

And you put it away.

You dropped your phone and said it's too scary.

Oh, God.

I thought he was responding.

Get out of here.

Oh, shit.

Wait, what?

It was echoing back.

Replay?

You can instant replay your own thing?

What is he doing in my fucking backyard?

Why is this happening?

Some fucking weirdo.

Do you want to call the neighbor?

No,

he's keep your eyes on him he has he has left all right but it worked scared him away was it a delivery person or no no i hope the maryland i hope when we all look at it it's going to be a little kid getting a ball that accidentally got knocked in there

wow i would

they're coming to you here's the thing and i just to just to i'm gonna i have not seen the maryland food kids podcast or any of it but boy would i love to watch

whoa oh

weird i love it weird i don't love it i'm glad i'm glad that you actually yelled at him.

Is that a fenced-in area?

Where did he get to?

Yes.

Do not enter sign on the lack of any.

Did anyone here send somebody to go rob his house?

Oh, God.

We got to cut all those bits.

Here's what I'll say.

Here's what I'll say.

I would pay $1,000 to

watch those kids just kick the shit out of Mitch.

They put me down, though.

He's got no pube.

He's like, fuck.

But his dick is gigantic.

Look at his.

Oh, and the 3D dick.

Look at the 3D dick.

We just happen to be at the right angle.

Wait, you know who I do think you should have on the show, if you haven't already tried, is the guy who is on YouTube

who does, he's the president of the Fast Food Secrets Club.

Jordan the Stallion is his name, I think, is his channel.

And he has all this information about the secret information about fast food recipes, fast food codes.

He'll be like, you talk about like what you did during the pandemic.

I was doing that for Disney, where they would have all these like special drinks that they make.

And during the pandemic, I was making these special drinks, which were so full of like, you'd have to get like 15 ingredients.

Oh, God.

But it was like, it was like all of them were so heavy.

They were delicious.

Yeah.

But it was great.

This guy has, he's very funny.

He's got a great channel and he will be like, he'll try any new thing that comes out.

There was like something, one of the pizza places had pizzas that looked like skulls so he went and got it and then he'll be like this is it's good it's bad whatever or then sometimes he'll be like you know I tried to buy this in bulk because I love this thing and they said no so here's the recipe and then he'll just tell you the recipe for McDonald's this or Wendy's that and then he'll make it and be like it's incredible

that's more my speed than the very much foodie boys and the Shirley Temple king who I also loves oh wow well I like the Shirley Temple King I gotta go now that by the way that's gonna be required viewing for me I have to watch this Shirley Shirley Temple cake.

You do not have to watch this.

We don't have to.

Look, the babification of the world and Stranger Things.

There's all these little kids.

I don't need the kids.

The little kids from Stranger Things are big kids.

Now, Millie Bobby Brown is married.

She's an adult.

Fuck.

Eleven alpaca.

She gets married.

Yeah, she wakes up every morning and pets her alpaca.

Yeah.

That's a real thing.

11 is 22.

11 is 22?

Wow, 11 is 22.

She's double her name?

I don't know if that's exactly right.

That feels right.

That does feel right.

She's double her name.

Wait, this is wow, wow, wow.

There's so much going on here that I want to stop and talk about.

But all right, well, I'll let you guys continue.

Let's

broken into.

Yeah, what's going on?

I see that we're at minute 58, and we really have not started the podcast.

Yeah, we got to get, we got to get that.

But that being said, I will say what I said to you on text, which is when I listened to the Griffin Newman Chuck E.

Cheese 2 episode, and it was three hours and 15 minutes, I thought to myself, challenge accepted.

When Jason and I perform on our show, we have to go over any.

held the longest.

We held the record for longest episode of Blank Check.

Yes.

And I was, I think, beaten out of spite.

Well, it was first beaten out of spite by Alex Ross Perry, but I believe now Leslie Hedland owns that.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

She really went long.

Over four hours.

Yeah.

But that was like discussing a totemic film, right?

Oh, completely.

Yes, absolutely.

It's David Lynch.

It's

Mohamed.

Do you have a drive?

Oh, yeah.

I thought it was Freddy Got Fingered.

Yeah.

I would love it if Blank Check did Freddie Got Fingered.

I didn't see that.

That popped up on like Movie or something.

It popped up on Criterion.

Criterion.

That's what it was.

Oh, funny.

It's been like an artisan reckless.

He's got a documentary out now.

And a stand-up special.

Yeah, he's kind of had a little bit of a comeback.

The Snow White cottages are not far from here where

we're in Mulholland Drive.

Where the Imagineers used to live and cheat on their wives.

That's what I've been told.

Oh, wow.

So they wanted to build the park there so they can kind of have like a side hustle and

kind of go go to the park during the day, fuck their their

side pieces and then go home.

I think

all the dwarfs are based on them.

They left out nine old men, right?

It's just weird to think about just like a guy like, you know, he's he's drawing a maleficent, you know, he's like spending all the time like direct, right, like crafting the animation cell for that.

And he's like, quitting time, gonna go rail my guma.

That's where that's Gelster.

This is where it was a Walt Disney studio at one point.

Yeah, that's weird to think about, too.

Yeah, Tamo Shanter, lovely spell.

Y'all fans of Tamo Shanter?

I love Tamo Shanter.

Tamo Shanter is great.

It's where Walt Disney and the animators used to dine.

All right, let's get into Munch Madness 10.

The tournament of Champions of Chompions.

Todd Cock.

MMX.

The rules, as decreed by Commissioner Susser, who seems to have been completely checked out at this point.

Rule number one, there are no rules.

That's right, just like Outback Steakhouse.

This year, it's no rules, just right.

Rule number two, there actually are some rules.

Rule number three, everyone is here.

Every winner of every past tournament of champions is represented in Munch Madness 10.

Rule number four, you got to dance with the one who brought you.

Your ticket in is your meal ticket.

If a restaurant has multiple categories of food on its menu, only the category it qualified in is eligible.

As a way of example, the winner of the pizza tournament dominoes can only enter with pizza, not wings or pasta, et cetera.

For today's chains, of course, that means that In-N-Out Burger only gets in for burgers, which is what we're discussing.

Not fries.

And not fries.

And handles, we're only discussing sweet treats, which is functionally the entire menu, but that's just how it works.

I got two sweet treats as handles, just so you know.

Wow.

We'll talk about that.

Yeah, go ahead.

I have something to say as well.

Okay, rule number five, one-on-fun.

Every matchup will be a one-on-one matchup with each guest getting to pick one item for the competing chains.

Although, you know, I think as long as it's all lined up, because I also got two different things from

let's let y'all interject.

Yeah.

Well, no, I don't have to interject.

I'm just saying

we'll bring it up.

Yeah.

Zeus, what were you going to say?

Oh, nothing.

I got a four-scoop sampler from Hand.

That is a great thing to get.

So I got a four-scoop sampler.

Here's what I'm going to say.

I haven't had a bite, and it's in the freezer.

Whoa.

I should have brought mine.

What a reveal.

No, we'll do it later when we, I assume we'll.

Can I have a bite?

That's why I brought it, you maniac.

Rule number six, the Roger Rabbit slash judge team.

Wait, I don't hear this rule.

I want to hear this rule.

I want to hear it.

I'm sorry, Wags.

I just can, can whenever we edit it together, is it Mike who's going going to edit it?

Really get that punch in on Mitch's.

Mitch, when he found out there was ice cream, he went, can I have some?

Where is it?

Can I have some?

Now that's a drop.

Make that the next drop.

Really?

Wow.

That was

adorable.

That's like your Oliver moment.

You went into like, may I have some more?

You went into like puss and boots eyes.

I do have a, as Wag says, a Tommy want wingy mode that I can a little bit.

What's that?

From Tommy Boy,

when Tommy wants Wingy and he gets them to open the fryer back up,

you saw me do it a couple times.

I've seen you do it.

I saw you,

we were at a bar in Nashville that had ended kitchen service and you convinced them to reopen the kitchen because you wanted a burger.

And it was honestly, it was very charming because you turned on the charisma, but also you were so pathetic that they were like, oh, we make this guy a burger.

And guess what?

The burger was fucking good as well.

Well, yeah, because they put it on a clean grill and they cooked it up.

Yeah, perfect.

It was good as hell.

It doesn't matter that those people have to stay another two hours.

Hope you tip.

Rule number six, the Rocky Register.

I saw that guy standing at the bus stop and he's like, last bus at the end of the day.

I feel bad.

You're like, last bus, more like last burger.

Get to work.

Dip gets a slip.

Sauce is at a loss.

You can use sauce, but you can't evaluate sauce in your review.

Not really relevant for our purposes, but, you know, just.

Right, I guess.

I guess so, yeah.

But it's talking about added sauce, like hot sauce or whatever.

Rule number seven, the dais is denied.

The dais, aka the producer's desk's opinions on the competing chains, is not to be considered during the the tournament.

No exceptions.

If this rule is violated, the commissioner, who's MIA, reserves the right to eject members of the dais.

Rule number eight, tie goes to the runner.

If there's a tie, host and or guest can agree to a foot race around head gum to decide which side likes to.

I'd like to see Susser try and get rid of Amelia.

I'd like to see that.

She would murder him.

Murder him.

I think Amelia could get away with whatever she wants because Susser's never going to say, you got to get.

I'd love it.

I'd love to see him try and remove Amelia from the studio.

it would be immediate flop sweat he would be so scared

Amelia I'm sure has a switchblade

there's some part of Amelia that somehow to me is also like a 1930s street kid right Amelia is Amelia I take this in a good way you're the weirdest person that's ever worked on this show and that is

truly a high bar and wages is on this show

Or they can offer a Deus Ex Machia, which we would be letting the Deus decide.

That rule would then cancel out rule number eight.

Rule number nine, hate has no plate here.

Chick-fil-A is officially banned from the tournament, even though it didn't qualify in the first place.

And rule number 10, I'll have what he's having, a.k.a.

the Billy Crystal rule.

In each round, the commissioner reserves the right to have one of the host's exact meals.

And again, Susser did not exercise rule number one.

He's always taking a free meal.

He didn't ask for this time.

I don't know what the hell's going on with this guy.

I don't know what's happening.

Emma, do we know

what's going on with Susser?

The Commissioner's actually here.

Oh, yes.

He's here.

What the hell?

I'm surprised that he didn't come for food early.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Is it because

we're getting to the actual meat of the podcast so late?

Yeah, I know.

Maybe, maybe.

Let's let the commissioner in here.

Susser, come on in.

Wait a minute.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, hold on.

This is not.

That's not Susser.

Wait, hold on, wait a minute.

Oh, my God.

Coming over to sit on the couch.

Oh, my God.

As Jemmy is displayed, it's Deputy Commissioner Usong.

Oh, my God.

What a wonderful one.

Good to see you, buddy.

I wish I was here under better circumstances.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

What does that mean?

Also, great outfit.

This fit is killing me.

I love it.

Thank you.

It is my sad duty to announce that Commissioner Evan Susser has suddenly passed away.

Yes!

Oh my god!

Yes!

Oh my god!

Yes!

Oh my god!

Finally!

This is so hot.

I mean, this is crazy news to hear.

Oh, great day.

Dear friend of almost 20 years, so glad I was here for this.

As such, it now falls upon me, the humble deputy commissioner, to read this sealed letter that Susser has left behind in the event of his death.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

I just want to send it.

You're going to need that.

My good friend, Susser.

My good friend.

You were cheering when I found out.

Yeah, we're having a process first.

It's a clear space for your emotions.

No,

we all respond in our own ways, but really,

this is upsetting.

What's going on?

Yeah.

He put this in a reused business envelope, I guess,

From Kaiser Permanente.

Wow.

There's stains on that?

Oh, wait.

Someone wrote Susser Permanente in Marijuana.

Get a close-up on that.

So Susser wrote Susser Permanente.

I will say, when you pointed that out and showed it to camera, Amelia and Emma Hi-Fi.

I think if you make merch, you should sell return address as like

your offices should be somehow like Susser Permanente, base.

I love it.

We do need to, for a second, acknowledge that our friend has died.

Yes.

I go on walks with this guy all the time.

I see him all the time.

Touch with him every day.

This is really.

Do we know Yusung what he died of?

I believe that it all should come clear in the letter.

Oh, great, great, great, great, great, great, great.

Can we guess?

To Deputy Commissioner Yusung, the Doughboys, and all of our colleagues at our current podcast network, Feral Audio.

Oh, wow.

So this has been a while ago.

He must have known for a while.

Or I honestly think he just didn't know what the head gun was called, possibly.

It's Feral Audio.

It's old.

I'm going to write a brief note, after which I will not be taking any questions.

If you are reading this letter, it means I am no longer with you.

As such, you will need a new commissioner of the Tournament of Champions, in the Tournament of Champions.

And so, Deputy Commissioner Yusung, you shall be in charge of electing a new commissioner by convening a conclave whoa

i've only heard about what is that for for comedy i think for this show it should be conclave

i don't want to punch this bit up in the moment but you're blowing it

it should say comclave full stop i feel like the conclave i think for me it's like a portmanteau of commissioner and conclave i think that's where we're going

so that's what susser meant when i think that's what susser meant when he wrote comclave in that letter.

Even knowing that, my punch-up is better.

I mean, it could be maybe turns into a cum clave.

It might turn into a cum clave.

Comclave, I would like to

say that I do own the rights to that and I'm working on something.

Yes.

I also have a GoFundMe, and anyone can be in that one.

I own the rights to the cum claive,

which is the weapon from Krull.

The bladed weapon from Krull, only it's covered in cum.

Paulo Dracula be in your movie.

Yeah, and you're going to throw not root beer on him, something else.

Oh, sorry.

He was excited for it.

You song entered the show, and it's just

You Sung, I apologize.

You have more of this letter to me.

So sorry.

I know.

And plus, well, Yusung must be experiencing so many emotions.

Plus, yeah.

My grief is so complicated right now.

I'm laughing, but this is not a laughing matter.

I've known it for a little bit, I've talked about it.

I've known it for a little bit.

But also, perhaps this opens the window for yourself, what you have to be thinking about.

It does make me question if Usang would cry if Susser really died.

I'm not sure.

I think Usong is a gentle, sensitive soul.

I think he would actually shed a tear for a good friend Yavi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I would try to put on a stoic face.

That's a good answer to say no.

It's what Susser would want.

Yeah, yeah.

I think so.

I'll give you some advice on that.

The secret council of Doughboys Insiders, known as the Chartonels, shall gather.

at the Fatticon to vote by a series of secret ballots.

They will also be ordering food, so we probably need to raise the limit on the Doughboys corporate card.

Yeah, hi, I'll have a number two with a large high-seat orange and add a six-piece big nuggets and an Oreo McFlurry.

Ah, no, the ice cream machine isn't working.

Wait,

was he at a drive-thru while he was riding the guy?

There's at least three different comedy games.

There's three different comedy games being played in this letter already.

I added that one, that bomb.

And by the way, wait, you added one?

You added.

Wait, You punched this out, Commissioner.

This is starting to make more sense.

Heartfelt letter telling us what to do with his fascinating.

You should always have somebody punch up your death light.

I always bring it out.

I hope.

By the way, if you guys want me to look at your suicide notes, it's great.

Anyway, may the Conclave

select who is most worthy of this heavy burden.

In Dave Thomas's name, Commissioner Susser.

P.S.

I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Ariana Grande will voice Amy Rose in Sonic the Hedgehog 4.

That'll be good casting.

Oh, wow.

You song.

That is really.

Wow.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

I apologize if the burden falls to you, but

who knows what's going to happen on the other side of this conclave?

Thank you so much for being here.

Do you have anything you'd like to plug?

It would be so inappropriate for me to take this somber moment to plug anything.

Right.

But you can find me on Twitch and YouTube at YU underscore S-O-NG, and we just hit 10K subscribers.

Woo!

Come on, 10K, that's pretty good.

But let's get 3,000 more subscribers when this episode drops.

Do it.

I'm just upset that Evan didn't mention my performance in the Sonic Universe, the SCU Sonic Cinematic Universe.

I am now in it, and I just feel like I would have loved to have a little shot.

I'm still pissed because I was supposed to be in it because I was supposed to voice the teeth.

Oh, wow.

I was meant to voice Sonic's teeth.

But then when they redid all the

stuff, they took me out.

They took my whole part out.

Wow.

And thank God Yusong had that whole outfit ready to go.

Yeah, you look at the ball.

You're one of the chartinos.

He's one of the chartinos, is you not to, not to pull the, the, uh, not to peek behind the curtain too much, but I loved that Yusong showed up today.

Amelia pulled all of this stuff out of a brown bag and he was like, yep, I'll put it all on.

Immediately just

such yes-any.

I think Yusang thought that he was like, oh yeah, I'll just sit on the side for the first five, ten minutes, and then I'll jump in and do this this bit.

And it's now like a 90 minutes in.

And he was like, we have to go home and help your girlfriend who's just moved.

And you've just been listening to us dogging over some bits.

I saw him sitting there.

He looks dressed.

Yeah, stressed.

He had to cancel multiple things.

Oh, my wife would be so mad right now if I was like, I just pop in at the beginning of the day.

Oh, yeah, they just need me for an hour.

It's not even.

It's like, yeah, and now they're keeping me there.

And don't let them make you wear something stupid.

They won't.

You saw me.

You have like 10K subscribers now.

Do not make them dress.

Don't get rid of them yet.

We're really having fun.

I heard that they were looking for a sheet to cover sus with.

Oh, boy.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Luckily,

they used a pool covering nearby.

Wow.

He's not even here.

Wow, wow, wow.

Wow.

You song, Louis, thank you so much.

Thank you so much for having having me on this somber occasion, everyone.

Thank you, thank you.

Great work, Usang.

Please help your girlfriend move in that costume, please.

You ran out of here.

Ran out of here.

Could not get out of here fast enough.

So behind.

What I was going to ask you before, and I just remembered it.

You know, I know you're a Lakers fan, and I saw I was at Staples Center or crypto.com or Microsoft Copilot Arena, whatever you want to call it.

And I saw that there's a Doritos restaurant.

That's right.

They do have a Doritos late night restaurant.

I forget exactly what it's called.

It's because it has like a late-night sort of theme to it.

And it's in a space that used to be a different bar.

A bar, yeah.

I've seen some people order food from there, and it looks truly noxious.

Yeah, because I just saw that they also in Italy, they just created a Doritos

gelato that looked disgusting.

Wow, that sounds hard.

I'm the Dorito kid, and I love a Dorito.

I mean, hey, when you were talking about, first of all, I remember standing at that first Shake Shack in line, I think for a Dell Close Marathon, I went and visited it.

But also, I remember back in the day seeing early human giant footage at

UCB.

This is 2005, 2006, or whenever it was, 2006 or 2007, something.

2005 or six, yeah, six, probably six.

Yeah, yeah.

And that Dorito sketch, one of my favorites, one of the, one of the

really funny sketch John Glazer writer of that sketch.

Did you know that?

Yeah.

He was so hot.

I was positive that that was a John Glazer sketch.

And then we just, and then, or that was the premise of it.

And then we just kind of came around.

Yeah.

Jimmy is weighing switching couches we'll see if it happens yeah there was a John Glazer uh I saw do an audition once for something in which he

you will like this I think because it's related to that time on human giant where during the course of the entire piece of the audio the entire audition he mimed unramping and eating a sub oh in such detail that it was one of truly this is I saw this 15 years ago one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

John Glazer has a bit that I remember.

It was at South by Southwest.

He did it.

He gets up on stage and

he says he's the only

dream comedian.

And then he starts to tell you his dream.

And it's very much like a normal dream.

There's nothing funny about it.

It's like, yeah, I'm flying and I see this person, look like my teacher, but then she turned, it's actually my sister.

And it goes on and on.

And this is like now 10 minutes pass, 15 minutes pass.

We're probably at 20 minutes.

And he's like, and then I'm on a plane, and the plane crashes.

And we're in, you know, and he does this whole bit about the plane crashing.

He's walking around, he's seeing all the people dying.

And then he sees in this one area

the black box of the plane.

And he was like, oh, nothing happened to this black box.

And I thought to myself, why didn't they make the whole plane out of the black box?

20 minutes to get to that joke, but nothing funny.

He's like, Thank you.

I love that.

That's so funny.

Delocated, were you on Delocated?

No.

No, you never did it?

No, I wish.

All right.

Delocated and John Glazer Loves Gear.

Yeah.

Two incredible shows.

Amazing shows.

The Doritos restaurant is called Doritos After Dark.

That is its theming.

And some of the items it has, the Doritos spicy, sweet chili chicken bites, the Doritos Flamin' Hot Nacho Veggie Dumplings.

Are you eating Doritos After Dark wages, or are you eating it in the daytime?

I'm talking just regular Doritos.

More a daytime thing.

This is the one I saw someone get: the Doritos nachos, nacho cheese, messy taquitos.

Oh, that's too big.

Yeah, there's just too much going on there.

I got into

kind of a, I kind of think of myself as like a good parent and a, and like when kids come over to our house, I try to be very gracious to them.

But there was one kid who I pulled out some Doritos and I said, you want some Doritos?

And he's like, no, it's got red dye.

It's going to give you cancer.

Oh, my God.

And I looked at him and I said, you know what?

I don't care.

More for me.

I was like, it really bummed me out.

I didn't know what to do, and I got aggressive.

You deserve.

You got to learn that lesson sooner or later.

After dark, because it's only open late night in the arena?

Not late night, but in the latter.

No,

why frame it like that?

I think it's like it's kind of like a

dinner place.

Yeah, I think.

That's also too horny.

It makes it sound too horny.

Yeah, after dark makes it feel like peach pit after dark.

Right.

Well, it's adult Doritos.

Because when you're a kid, you're eating Doritos out of a bag.

Now you're going to a restaurant and eating Doritos like a fucking crazy thing.

This is my problem.

They're trying to make too many things that are for kids.

Somehow they're trying to convince adults.

It's okay to still eat these.

You know, it's okay to still eat kids' stuff.

All you want is kids' stuff.

I feel like.

Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Well, we were talking about the kids' stuff.

We were talking about cereal earlier, and that's a thing that's happened is because a lot of parents are like, they don't want their kids eating sugary breakfast cereals.

They're much more cautious about it these days than they were when any of us were kids.

And so now what's happening is, and you'll see this happening with cereal marketing, they have started to target their pitch towards adults with nostalgia.

Yeah, oh, totally.

You can eat this, you fucking fato.

Yeah.

Bringing back old mascots or old, making it feel like it is like an 80s or anything.

I mean, and they try to treat it like dessert sometimes, too.

Like they like, yeah, have it for fun after dinner.

You can have dessert after dinner.

But I also think the after dark marketing is partly like it's the same thing Jack in the Box does.

It's like a coated like stoner food.

Yes, 100%.

That's absolutely.

But Jack in the Box is definitely, but this is like only in the state.

Like it's...

It's a freestanding restaurant.

Like, I think they're just trying to class it up.

Look, I will say I do follow Taco Bell on Instagram, and I did see that they have announced their Baja Blast is getting a midnight flavor coming out this summer.

Oh, yeah.

So, I mean, there you go.

I mean, I think they actually have an alcoholic Baja Blast at that Doritos place.

Something's happening here.

Jemmy is just like locked into me.

Yeah, you guys are.

Challenge me to a staring contest.

It's like when an animal sees the Terminator, it's the same difference.

When you see it through Jemmy's eyes, there's nothing new.

I won.

Yeah.

You're looking at the dog and you see all these different things.

You can say, fuck you, asshole.

Woof, woof, woof, woof.

I'll be back.

Woof.

By the way, I've heard the sales of that Doritos after our place have gone through the roof since Luca came to town.

Is he

that fucking fat ass is eating there every night?

I'm wearing his shoes.

As soon as he got traded, I was like, does Luca have a signature shoe?

He does.

Can I find a pair on sale?

And that's what I'm wearing right now.

Wait, the Lakers have drafted Luca Guardino?

Yes.

They have.

The director of Challengers and Queer.

Yeah.

He's playing for the Lake.

Maybe I'll be able to do that.

Well,

now instead of LeBron

clapping with the the chalk, he actually just makes that with one of the rest.

Which did you like better from last year?

Challengers or queer?

I liked them both.

They were both my top 10.

You know, it was interesting.

That's an interesting one.

I think Challengers.

Yeah.

They're so fun.

Yeah.

So fun.

I think that like there's something about Challengers where I didn't like it at first, and then I really like in the watching of it, I was like, what is this?

Yeah.

And then I was like, oh, now I get it.

And I really like it.

I liked it in the first watch.

I loved it on the rewatch.

I said.

And the queer was, I was like, queer blew me.

I was like, this is so good.

I can't believe this is like his other movie in the same year.

Well, it's the same year.

Incredible.

But it got shut out at the Academy Awards, which is so odd.

I was like, did he cancel himself out?

Because they're

very good movies.

Oh, yeah.

And I think he chose to try and make queer the awards

put that on the awards track

and kind of like left Challengers out, I feel like.

But Challengers came out definitely earlier.

Oh, way earlier.

The Celtics just signed Brittany Corbett.

Corbett?

Corbett.

from The Brutalist.

Yeah, the Brutalist.

The director of The Brutalist.

They're like reacting to.

They got another Brady.

Yeah,

I know.

Brady Corbett.

I remember that somebody in the Chris Gethard universe.

I think it was Patrick Hottenore.

Posted a clip of Brady Corbett at the Chris Gethard show.

There was a you can't laugh episode where if you laughed, you got kicked out of the audience.

And he laughed.

He was in the audience.

Can you watch him?

Like, what?

Oh, that's very funny.

That's a really great moment.

Wow.

That's hilarious.

To think think of him actually probably working on the Brutalist at that point because I think it's been like a 10-year-old.

Oh, yeah.

That's crazy to think about.

Yeah.

Did you like Brutalist?

I loved it.

I really liked it.

I haven't seen it yet.

I saw it at the end of the day.

That's one of the ones I haven't seen.

There's like two or three.

I love the first half of it.

It's split into two discrete halves with an intermission.

And definitely, I think Mitch, you and I are on the same page with liking the first half more.

I overall still like the movie just for its ambition, but we don't need to talk about it any further because it's exactly.

Oh, that's I do not care about spoilers.

So if there's a good conversation to be had, here's what I'll say about it.

Wax and I won't give you a good one.

No, I've heard your blank check episodes.

I really, I think what I enjoyed about it was, and maybe it's just like, I feel like all these movies are so long that when you give me an intermission, like the Hateful Aid had an intermission, like I'm so thankful for it.

I'm like, give me a second to go out.

Go to the bathroom, be refreshed.

Like, I'm not worried about the end of the movie.

I feel like I came into that second half in a way where I was so happy that if I would have watched it at home, I think I would have put them too close close together and I would not have enjoyed the second half, where I came in kind of fresh, excited for the second half.

And I, I don't know.

I hear what you're saying, though.

I will shout out Luca Guadanino's movie, A Bigger Splash.

I've never shot it.

As one of my.

Wow, the sequel to Splash?

It's the, yes, it's.

Well, he's actually

much like Hateful Eight, because Tarantino cut Hateful Eight into like a four-episode, a longer four-episode cut that's on, I think, Netflix or something.

Guadignino is doing a cut of A Bigger Splash that's called The Biggest Splash or something like that.

That is a longer cut of this movie.

And the movie is incredible.

Is this real?

It's a real movie.

It's a real movie.

It's Tilda Swin.

Oh, it came out before Call Me By Your Name.

Oh, it's the movie.

It's his movie before.

or two before Call Me By Your Name.

I can't remember.

Either way, it's Ray Fiennes.

It's Tilda Swinton.

It's Dakota Johnson.

Tilda Swinton plays a David Bowie-esque superstar singer, like a rock star, right?

Who at the beginning of the movie has vocal cord surgery and so cannot talk for the whole movie and turns in one of the most electric performances you've ever seen.

It's wildly good.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, watch that.

It's great.

And Ray finds his nuts in it and is a blast.

Casey, a bigger splash.

I haven't seen it.

Get fucked.

I also, by the way, can I just take a time out and just say, I can't believe we lost our

friend.

Wow.

But you know what?

You know what?

I think that he would have loved to have us about Luca going to the Lakers and stuff like that.

Just keep the show going, right?

Like, you know, you got he would have wanted the tournament to continue.

It was, you know, this was his passion.

But who's going to take over?

Who's in the conclave?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, there's a lot of Chardinols.

Yes.

Yeah.

Jared from Subway is a Chardino.

He's in there.

Tip Tup, the tournament.

Wait for that.

Yeah, did Trump

Jared?

Did Trump pardon Jared?

No, but

I've been writing to him and asking him to do it.

But I know that his pants got a pardon.

His pants didn't get a a pardon.

And they got a new home.

Everybody was wondering how those pants got to January 6th on Mitch's body.

The journey of Jared's pants.

I bet you there is a man out there who's wearing Jared's pants somewhere.

Well,

someone owns them.

I'm sure someone must have bought them.

Like, Roger Ebert, yeah.

Like, that's the thing that Roger Ebert might have bought.

Like, not that, not, no, like, I'm just saying that he bought it.

But why?

To satisfy which of his collection.

I I know.

All I remember is like Roger Ebert one time like showing off his like house or his apartment, and he did have the staying alive costume like prominently displayed like on a mannequin in his house.

I was like, that's an odd choice to be like.

Okay.

That might have been like his all-time favorite movie or something.

Okay, yeah.

Oh, maybe it was a Saturday Favorite.

Definitely a Saturday Favorite Zeitgeist.

But yeah, it's an interesting choice to have like a full outfit on display.

But if I had a Jarrett pants, I mean, that would be a great thing to have in your house.

It's like you're not supporting Jarrett, but you're supporting the pants.

If you come to Headgum, just like if you go to AMC, there's like the costume.

If you come here, there's a mannequin wearing a Jarrett, the full Jarrett costume

worn by Jarrett in this commercial.

I think that probably, if I had a guess, John Lovitz probably owns the pants because he was also a Subway spokesperson.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe that's a perk.

Yeah, it's probably a perk.

You get a pair of Jared's pants.

I think they're in the Smithsonian.

So we're talking about the Baby Bitch region, Handles versus In-N-Out Burger.

It was named the Burger Boy region originally, but Mitch wanted to name one region.

So

that was your spiteful rename.

In-N-Out won the very first tournament back in 2016.

I meant that glowingly.

Well, by the way, can I just ask one question about Handles?

Is that a California-only?

No, Handles is from Youngstown, Ohio originally.

It is a Midwest chain.

And it only recently, in the past 10 years, expanded to California.

Got it.

Handles.

I've never seen it or heard of it really until you guys recently did it with Pennies, right?

It's a newish change when it opened in our neighborhood we were so excited we ran down there and yeah it was great

handles handles by way of uh subbing in it it defeated in an eat-in match dairy queen which was the winner of 2021's pie noon so now it is the desert kicked the shit out of dairy queen which i liked dairy queen but it just really destroyed dairy queen it was kind of embarrassing for dairy queen so i love both of these chains right it was bad yes it was and so dairy queen's another one of those those things that has fallen off it's fallen off quite a bit.

And you see like a lot of their locations are just treat centers, so they just have the dessert side.

Or they're hot god.

Thank God, because guess what?

I don't want to see someone getting food from a Dairy Queen.

No, I agree.

You know what I mean?

It's sad when somebody's walking away with like a hot dog or a burger at Dairy Queen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hard disagree.

I used to love the burgers.

Used to.

Yeah.

Oh, I would.

But how long ago?

When I was a kid.

That's what I'm saying.

Then maybe.

Maybe you eat just the hot dog without the bun.

No, it's a bun.

It was a bun without a hot dog.

Oh, it was a bun, no hot dog.

The year that he was a vegetarian.

That was a vegetarian and we did a hot dog.

Oh, yeah.

Just eating buns.

No, he usually just puts his head on the counter and they'll slide one in his mouth.

I have done the hot dog, no bun.

It's like an at-home lunch before.

That's funny.

Oh, yeah.

I've done that.

Repeatable hot dogs.

Yes, child, not a child thing.

It was the easy thing to make.

You pop them in the boiling water, you pop them out, and what do you do?

Yeah.

But Dairy Queens, and they're also a lot of them are hybrid orange juliuses so they're not even like you know it's not it's like and it's i went mostly an orange julius that also has some dairy queens i went to a dairy queen uh maybe two weeks ago it was like we were driving around with the kids and uh i was with them i was like this would be fun and i was surprised that the the the way it was it was not uh it was not in high you know it looked like it was falling apart but you know i i went there for the blizzard which i think that handles is trying to also steal the i guess everybody's stealing the blizzard They are.

Yeah, Handles has their own Blizzard.

They have their own Blizzard.

Hurricane.

Hurricane, yeah.

Hurricane, yeah.

Which I got one last night.

Also, my nickname in football was Hurricane Mitch.

That's right.

Why?

Because Hurricane Mitch was happening at the same time.

There was a Hurricane Mitch.

There was a Hurricane Mitch, and then also I was really not good at football, so it was kind of like an ironic joke that I was hurricane.

They're like, get in there, Hurricane Mitch.

And then I'd like to get knocked over.

All right.

That's kind of what it was.

Wags, I got a Hurricane.

Wow, you did.

Yes, last night.

I got one too.

Well, it kind of turned to a fight between Wags and I because Amelia was like, What do you want from handles?

And then I was like, Get this.

And then Wags is like, You should come in at 1:30 if you want to get ice.

Get this, please.

How about, please?

How about that?

Get this.

Get this.

Get this.

Get this now.

But that's.

Also, the way she asks, it's like, what do you want?

Like, she does.

We have a good rapport.

Someone, what do you want, King?

Actually, you you did write, what do you want, king?

And I think I said, get this.

Well, I'll see what I said.

You were like, no, no, no.

I only recognize one king in this country.

Elon Musk.

So

here's what I will say, Mitch.

It was.

Typically, what we do when we eat at studio before we record is we get in a little bit earlier.

You were like, even though we're going to, since it's just ice cream, I can get in right at when we're starting our record, and then I'll just eat the ice cream real quick, and then we'll just do the episode.

I was like, if we're going to do that, we should just get in a little bit earlier so we make sure we start on duty.

She's chastising me on the Doughboys chair, everyone.

You brought it up.

I think it should be 1:30.

Fuck off.

I got it at home because I didn't want to deal with you.

How did you fucking yelling at me?

I got it at home.

I wasn't even yelling at you.

Here's what I'll say.

I was the first one here.

You absolutely were.

First, what

were you eating my in-and-out alone in the lunchroom?

Where were you, Wags?

I showed up at, well, you know, we were going going to record it too.

I showed up at 1.40.

I didn't have anything to eat, though.

I came at 1.47.

That's right.

You were here early.

Impressive.

And I ate my mini Jersey Mike sub,

which is eliminated from the terminal.

Just your unrelated lunch.

Is that what you call it?

Your mini Jersey Mike sub?

Jesus Christ.

Mini Mike.

I have so much affection and so much nostalgia for In-N-Out Burger.

I grew up in Southern California.

I have been going since I was a little boy.

For me, that was good report card.

We're going to In-N-Out Burger.

So I have so much, so much loyalty.

Do you think often fucking dumbass?

It's going all the time.

This is a.

This is the product of the Quincy school system.

I'm sorry, you went to private school.

No, first of all, private school, Mitch.

No, no, no.

First of all, you got to recognize the United States on a map.

Don't worry.

Oh, yeah.

Don't worry.

Mansion Mitch went to private school.

Not Mansion Mitch.

I got placed in advanced placements in sixth grade, and I went in there and they said,

How many states are there?

And I said, 52, and the whole class laughed at me.

It was a, it was, or how many stars were on the flag?

And I said, 52.

The whole class laughed at me.

I thought Alaska and Hawaii got added.

I was in sixth grade.

Who gives a shit?

By the way, that you should definitely.

My kids are in second and fifth grade, and they got that one.

Like, sixth grade is not a good idea.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, there are 60 states, those are California kids.

Mitch is grading on a Massachusetts.

My mom and sister, my sister is a principal at elementary school, and my mom was an English teacher at North Quincy High School where I went.

A great educational system.

I got sent to private school for one year.

It was the worst year of my life.

I'm surprised you said 52 and not 13.

I only recognize the colonies.

All right, so

this is a favorite phrase.

Well, no, I'm just saying, like, that's my bias going in.

I want to acknowledge nostalgia.

I think In-N-Out Burger to me, Mitch, is for you, like, what pizzeria Regina is, right?

Like, it's a place you have childhood affection for and that you continue to love as an adult.

I think the quality has maintained the same.

Like, I bite into that and I think this tastes the same as I remember as a kid.

And I think you feel the same way, at least about the original Pizzeria Regina.

Yeah, you can.

Look, we talked about you can't get In-N-Out on the apps or anything like that.

It's

free, basically, which is probably a good thing.

Well, but this is the issue that I have with In-N-Out.

And I'm going to go a little bit on a roller coaster on this.

Please, it's hard to get in and out.

Like, it's like there are, like, I was once in traffic and I realized I'm not in traffic.

I'm just in a line for In-N-Out that stretched so far down that I am now caught in this.

And, you know, even yesterday, middle of the day, going during a rain, which is actually very good.

Still, I went inside.

It was easier to go inside, but it was like, that line is killer.

And it prevents me from going more than that because it's like, it's like, well, I don't have time for an hour-long wait.

I think that's good.

Okay.

I like that.

And I like that it's not on delivery apps.

And I like that because to me, a little bit of the way we were talking about, and I've never had Shake Shack, but a little bit of the way we were talking about Shake Shack is, oh, you were there visiting.

So you made it.

purposeful choice to go and check it out and see it.

That's how I felt about In-N-Out because I didn't have In-N-Out until I came here for pilot season for the first time in 2003 or 2004.

And it was built up.

It was like a, you've got to go and check out In-N-Out.

And for me, I'm not a fast food person.

I don't have McDonald's or Burger King or Wendy's or anything like that.

But In-N-Out to me is fast food, like that I'll have just from the jump.

Like that's a treat fast food because I don't feel disgusting after it.

Well, yeah, it doesn't make it.

It's a very good, like it's a good tasting one.

And I just think it's like, it's, it isn't fast food.

I guess that's my argument is it's not fast food because the amount of time you have to wait

prolonged

fast food, which is fine.

It doesn't equate, but it's like it is not built.

That drive-through line is not built right.

Like, it's like that drive-through line is built like

a Starbucks drive-through line.

And it's like, I've never seen a line shorter than half a block down the block.

I don't think they have enough locations to satisfy peak demand is the thing.

So there's such a huge volume of customers.

And yesterday,

yesterday was a thing that

I experienced, I went, I also went,

I sat in the drive-thru in the rain, and I set a stopwatch.

I believe it was 35 minutes before I got my food.

It was a, it was a lengthy wait.

So it can be a commitment.

Other parts of the country, the, the raisin canes, the, the Chick-fil-A's, whatever is near you, you might experience the same sort of thing, just those super backgrounds.

I've also, and I've had the same, obviously, like today I went and probably took me 20 to 30 minutes front to back getting it all.

But to me, I've also been to up and down California coast, been to a bunch of different in-and-outs, probably a dozen different in-and-outs over the years.

I've never had, that's a bad one.

I've never been like, well, that was shitty, or that was a bad version of this.

So if that's the, if that's the trade-off, like there's fewer of them and it's harder to get to or you have to wait a little bit, but I also don't drive away and eat a shitty burger.

Okay.

Well, now here's what I would recommend.

If I, and this is not part of the, the competition criteria, but if I was to recommend anything, I would say, let's have a, I'm not going to fuck with it line.

Like, you know, so you just be making burgers.

You know, it's like, cause it's like, they're like, I went in there and I got a number two.

Give it to me the way it's on the menu.

You're not doing animal style.

You're not adding chopped chili.

I just want the, and I think if you, like, they should reward that.

Like, and it should be like the regular order.

Right.

Yeah.

It's like, and I get it.

That's what makes it so good.

It's like, it's cooked to order.

It's all right there.

But I got everybody adding all this different shit on there.

It's like, this can be the, like, like, we should be rewarded for the simplicity of it, I think.

I like that idea, like a fast pass, like a dashed line that's just for the default options.

I wonder if that would speed speed things up at all.

And I also feel like a lot of people would opt for, because I think there are people who like to customize, but like me, don't feel strongly about it.

Like I usually do add chopped chilies because I'm a bit of a heat seeker, but if it was a faster line for me not to do it,

sometimes you would choose that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Absolutely.

Well, and sometimes I do think that the

off the menu, the secret menu, which was so fun to find out about before the internet really blew up, because it's like, oh, wait, what do you ask for?

Oh, I asked for this.

I love all that sort of stuff.

But sometimes I think you actually mess up the burger.

It's the same way I find with Dutch Brothers Coffee.

There's all these like secret menu items on Dutch Brothers Coffee.

Wait, really?

I didn't know about this.

Big teacher.

I don't even know what Dutch Brothers Coffee is.

Is there one near you?

Is there

LA is there?

Not in LA properly.

You're a Dutch Brothers.

I've been to a Dutch Brothers in the airport, but I did not know about the secrets.

All right, so

Dutch Brothers is,

I guess it maybe started in Oregon.

Okay.

And

my kid does a lot of soccer tournaments.

So just outside of it, like 45 minutes, you know, that's like the trip to LA, like where we're going.

a kid ref, right?

Yeah,

he's good.

He's fair.

He's fair.

And he teaches the kids too.

And we got him on that track.

A lot of kids, it's like, you can't make a living being a professional athlete, but you can make a living being a professional ref.

More people are going to be refs.

And he's got upset with us at first, but now he gets it.

So I find I bump into a lot of Dutch brothers on those trips.

So I'm always, it's like, oh, whoa, there's a Dutch Brothers.

And sometimes I have just gotten a Starbucks.

I'm like, Dutch Brothers, I'm chucking this and getting, this is because it's a real treat.

But yeah, the Dutch Brothers secret menu.

Like, what have we got?

Oh, it's

like the Dutch Brothers menu, the secret one, is just giant.

It's just a way of like, people have made their own drinks.

They've made their own caffeinated beverages that are not coffee.

They're kind of their Red Bulls.

It's endless, truly endless and overwhelming.

Wow.

But I also find that when I go on there and I get the secret menu, it's not as good as the actual thing on the menu.

It's interesting.

Because I look,

my In-N-Out burger, it's the way I treat the Muppets.

No animal, no deal.

I don't want it.

Wow.

Catch my drift.

Interesting.

If there's no animal in the movie, I'm not going to see it.

Wow.

That's how I feel too.

How many Muppet movies?

There's no Dr.

Teeth.

Oh, no Dr.

Teeth.

If there's no Dr.

Teeth, I'm not interested.

How many Muppet movies have not had animal?

So far, they all have had animals.

I was going to say, yeah.

I've been lucky in that way.

I've been blessed.

But

it's an interesting line to draw since there's been no

demarcating and something that's never happened.

That is true.

By that logic, you love every Muppet movie.

That is also kind of true.

Except for the last one that I saw with my last movie I saw with my dad at the Hingham.

Before he passed.

Before he passed.

We wheeled him in under bed and we watched

the Muppet movie

at the Hingham shipyard.

That's where we were.

We were familiar with it.

And I remember we left and went to the ship.

That's where they built the Titanic, right?

That is where they built the Titanic.

And your dad didn't didn't like it.

My dad, we went to, and we went to Wahlberger's afterwards.

That was

the original.

Yeah, that is the original.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you what is is theimal in Christmas Carol?

What does he do?

Yeah, Animal.

Yeah, he might have been one of the ghosts or something.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, he's the Christmas.

They have a power.

I think he actually, honestly, he does

say that.

Because they have original Muppets.

Like, that's the whole thing that I remember.

I'm not a Muppets guy, but they have original Muppets playing the three ghosts of Christmas past.

Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

yeah.

Great movie.

We've now seen it.

He's never seen the Muppet movie.

You like animal style.

That's right.

Boy,

yeah.

I like animal style.

I always order animal style when I go to In-N-Out, and that's what I did again this trip.

How did that pilot season go?

Your first one?

Did it go?

Terrible.

Oh, it went terribly?

Terrible.

Oh, yeah.

Every pilot season for me went terrible.

I came out for years

during like prime pilot season.

You know, I auditioned for speaking of Jason Siegel.

I auditioned for How I Met Your Mother, that role for How I Met Your Mother.

I auditioned, like I auditioned for everything in that era, got nothing, tested for nothing, got nothing.

Really?

That makes me feel good because it's like there is a thing where you were like, I never, I didn't really ever do pilot season out here.

I auditioned for one show, which was Modern Family.

I don't even know if that ever got picked up.

But yeah, it was like every, like there were these people that were just like on these roles where they were just, and it's like, oh, you just feel like you can't.

It also was the end of network pilot season proper, where there was a tremendous amount of work in that small amount of time.

And you felt like, if I don't book something in these six to eight weeks, I'm not going to work for the next year.

I wouldn't book anything.

And I'd drive myself back to New York and be like, what a bummer.

What a fool.

I would drive back and forth.

Wow.

Are you not a flyer?

No, it was two things.

I wanted to, I had a car in New York, so I wanted to have a car for the months that I was here without having to rent like a shitty car or whatever.

And I liked the drive the drive out was fun and like getting myself ready for this thing and the drive back was i'm disappointed but i'm gonna be okay about it that's great uh and it would just be like i would take a week or 10 days to just you know luxuriously make my way across countries like your severance elevator yeah you're uh

i will say what related to you guys there was do you guys know about the oklahoma onion burgers

do you know about this

i went to that town and had all of those all

three of those, you know, because it was one place, then it split, and then another one split off of that.

So they're all competitive with each other in like, they're all within like four blocks of each other.

It's crazy, incredible, delicious.

I did a lot of that.

I believe there is a Brooklyn restaurant that now does an Oklahoma style on your own.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

Well, that shocks me.

I figured that it would.

Oh, I ate shit for 10 years for pilots.

Well, now, the other thing about.

I never booked a pilot.

Oh, wow.

To be clear.

Yeah.

Well, now they're the fools.

They were the ones who are.

Well, I hope I still can get on how I met your mother.

Here's what I'll say.

That also is a side project or a side element of In-N-Out, which I think I'm mixed on.

This may be too inside baseball, but a lot of the times, if you work on a nice production that has some money, they will do a cast and crew treat, right?

So they'll bring a coffee truck or they'll bring a donut thing or whatever.

Beignet truck.

But when you really got the big money.

Beignet truck?

I've never heard of that.

I got that beignet truck.

From New Orleans?

Not, you know, it's a good idea.

I hope a Gator wasn't working.

It's a nice gate.

We excitedly had big grins on our face.

I was thinking of, I would.

It's related to New Orleans.

You heard him say beignets.

Did you hear him say beignets?

Do you think we'll get to do gator stuff?

So

they all send

out the freak out of doing our hacky bits.

Let us do our hacky stuff.

No, no, I'm going to let you do it.

I'm just setting it up so the audience knows it.

Yeah, this is a truck from New Orleans.

It's a beignet truck.

Kind of weird because it's run by Gator.

Gentlemen, anything to say?

What might that guy sell?

I think they have those kind of trucks down in Dubai.

And, you know, I went to order a beignet once from one of those trucks, Mitch.

And the guy working there was like, oh, yeah, you can have a beignet if you suck me all.

Yes, that's right.

So naturally, and I think you were with me too.

I was with you too.

Yeah, we went and sucked the guy off.

Yeah, we sucked him off, and then I was like, wait a minute, there's like a lot of powdered sugar on this guy.

I started rubbing away.

I was like, He's fucking green.

He's a fucking gator.

Classic gator.

The beignet, the powder, the powdered sugar from the beignet, he used to look like a human being.

I was there too, and I saw, and then when I saw

the truck, the signage said beignet, but if you peeled it off, it said ben boo.

Yeah, right.

It was not a yay, it was a boo.

It was a boo.

Could we bring back in your song?

Wait, did I die?

Wait, am I dead?

That's awesome.

It was my favorite thing of the entire show.

Wait, so it's a beignet choice, but sometimes they do get an in-n-out truck.

Right, the in-n-out truck.

And that's something that, like, when you know that you're in a big, expensive production, that in-n-out truck comes, and that line is equally long, and people are waiting, and they don't do fries because they actually have a quality standard where they're like, we won't give you fries because we can't produce them in the way that we want to, which is I think they understand.

Yeah, I think they understand that their fries fries are bad.

They understand that their fries are bad and that nobody wants them from a truck.

Well, here's the thing.

And this is like what I learned yesterday in my In-N-Out experience, because I've had mixed, like I'm like, if I, if you were to present me with an In-N-Out or a fat burger or a Shake Shack, I think that sometimes I'm going to go fat burger and shake shack before I'm going to pick In-N-Out.

And then yesterday, because I went in there, I ordered it, I got it hot, the fries and everything.

perfect.

It was like, there was no weight.

It was like, I was like, oh, I get this a little bit more.

But the fries are really on a

minute window like super short shop yeah stop a five minute yeah it's like you're like oh wow it almost like i didn't finish them but those first few bites of the hot i was like this i will now do fries uh crispy or well done yeah i'll ask for them crispy or well done which i would say half of the time makes them better and half of the time makes them like small sticks and logs that i'm trying to eat yeah that are it's it's a crapshoot yeah they they sometimes turn into like the potato sticks those like the snacks where they're so over fried Um, I feel like as a kid, that's how I learned about condensation was in-and-out fries.

That makes sense.

Like, just like taking them home in a bag and then being like, Well, this is what I think I really learned yesterday.

It was like,

A student has to learn still after he gets his treat.

That is an eating.

That's an embarrassing

knowledge.

I got all straight A's.

Also, look, I learned about condensation.

Just eat the fucking burger, fat ass.

Yeah,

when is Head Gum going to install lockers that we can get Weiger into?

We can get this nerd in a fucking locker.

You're going to need a fucking big-ass locker.

So I will say that yesterday, like what I learned was In-N-Out is definitely when you can get it right out of the gate.

It's well,

it's a different experience than I have had recently.

If you eat it in the cart, which they offer in the box.

That is, I will say, and I'm curious to hear if you guys do it differently.

I will only eat In-N-Out immediately.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

You do not ever try and get home.

I don't try and do anything.

I get it in the box.

I sit in the parking lot and I eat it in the car.

That's the only way to do it.

I think this is a part of the issue with the backup of that place: people go through the drive-through and then park in the parking lot, and it is chaos.

And I'm saying that's the right thing to do.

I usually just park on the street.

I park in front of Vivid Video, basically.

You know what I'm talking about?

Oh, different In-N-Out.

I know where you mean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In the valley?

The In the valley.

In the valley.

That's the one I went to, where Vivid Video is.

Okay.

And

I try to.

Why?

Because you were already in the neighborhood.

How are they doing?

Vivid Video.

Are they?

And they're still, and they're just releasing DVDs.

Where are they at?

Yeah, what are they up to?

Because

they were known for their big-budget porno production.

Like, yeah, it seems tired.

The C2B is something that doesn't exist anymore.

Yeah, they were giving you a studio tour, I would tell you, but they always turned into it.

The OnlyFans is really, I think,

just decimated.

Yeah.

Somebody did say that

that industry has been really lifted by cosplay.

That makes sense.

Yeah, it's like they do a lot more like Captain Marvel or

parody porn in a weird way.

That does exist.

Well, it's also funny because no one feels bad about getting rid of the porn middleman who's

the most evil man on earth, most likely.

It's fine to get rid of that guy.

Get him out of there.

And now the creators make make it.

Let them have their control over their own thing.

I opened the Vivid Entertainment side and realized I'm just looking at straight-up pornography.

It's so cool.

It is a good thing.

I didn't realize I was looking at straight-up pornography.

Well, because I was like, oh, here's some thumbnails.

And then the thumbnail starts auto-playing.

I was like, oh, okay, this is just straight-up porno.

But then there's something like

where the boys aren't the brats, barroom, brat.

It looks like they're just doing kind of like a little bit of a glossier version of the kind of porno videos you might see on the porn hub or something.

So, yeah, I guess they've kind of pivoted to streaming, like everyone.

Yeah, so now you park in front of of there.

I heard both of those.

I just saw both of those on your letterbox.

Watching James Dean's filmography.

Okay, sorry.

Two E's.

That's funny.

You started with the Lindsey Lohan movie.

That's how they got you in.

And you're like, wait a minute.

This guy's good.

But now, like, so we're all talking about this thing.

Like, this is an interesting...

I've never experienced anything like this with food where it goes,

just that you have that short of a shelf life.

I mean, that is a kind of an interesting dig on this, I think, you know?

100%.

I don't know.

I don't, I think everything with it feels like

in Egypt, you know,

now we're in Egypt.

In Egypt, you know, like they're like, oh, we like, we pulled this mummy on.

Now, oh my God,

it's aging immediately.

And like a, like, when it's.

So you're not talking about ancient Egypt.

Are you talking about the mummy?

Yeah, yeah.

Or the mummy?

Or the beast video where he goes into the pyramid?

I'm going to land this plane.

Okay, great.

Yes, that's pretty much all I know about Egyptian.

Please sully put it on this video.

Please, Sully, put it in the Hudson.

You know, when there's something that's been like, like, like,

there's something that's been stored away for a long time, and then it gets into the natural elements, and it's

and it weathers and it dies immediately.

And this is happening in ancient Egypt.

I don't know if you know this, it's happening in ancient Egypt.

This will happen when if you open up a tomb, you know,

all these things will

oxidize and all this stuff will happen.

The curses get out.

The oxification.

Oxification thing.

I believe.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

The oxification.

And so this is the same thing with In-N-Out because it's not only the food for me, but like the paper bags that you say that cont like it feels like old material.

And then In-N-Out bag feels like it's 100 years old.

Well, yeah, they've still got things in a paper sleeve.

They've got a cardboard container.

Like they didn't move on to styrofoam like a lot of children.

Which is great and then moved on to single-use plastic.

I mean, it's a.

But why?

What's here's my thing.

I don't think it's a knock against food to say it's worse half an hour later.

100%.

Oh, it's going to be.

That's fair.

Categorically.

But I also just want to, like, just for the thought experiment, and this is, I know, because you're a science person, like,

that, like, like, I would argue that.

Are you going to go, are you going to get into some Egypt stuff?

Because I am.

Yeah, I was going to say this is a good oxidation.

But I would argue that now, where In-N-Out was interesting when it first came out was like, it's the anti-McDonald's.

It is pure.

It's like, we're going to make it to your order.

We're not going to have it sitting there.

But now, I think a lot of places have done this.

And we'll just use Shake Shack as that example.

I think Shake Shack, if you go pound for pound on the ingredients, are probably pretty similar, right?

I mean, like, that they're

known.

You're talking to the wrong guy because he's not going to agree with you.

No, no, I mean, I think they're similar.

They're attempts at a similar kind of burger.

Okay.

Like, it's like, you know, and it's down to

the same sort of spread, the thousand island adjacent spread, the lettuce and the tomato.

I mean,

it's a similar thing.

It does feel like, is it Danny Meyer who created Shake Shack?

It does feel like Danny Meyer was trying to East Coast make an

in-and-out analog.

Sure.

You know what I mean?

Like something that felt similar because it was also limited menu, limited, you know, good ingredients, exactly what you're saying.

So I do think they're connected.

It's only in that, like, not in like the flavor profile or anything, but like, but those, I think that those Shake Shack burgers have a little bit more shelf life than the In-N-Out burgers.

I don't know what's what maybe it is, the bun.

Maybe it's, I don't know.

You know, maybe the bun's not keeping enough of the heat.

I don't know.

It was, I will say, though.

I think the buns are almost bad.

Well, one thing I can say specifically about the fries there is because they do fresh cut potatoes in store in In-N-Out burger.

And whatever, I'm not going to defend the fries.

I like them because I have nostalgia for them.

I know that they're better fast food fries out there.

At Shake Shack, they have

okay.

Amile is holding something up before me.

Oh, shit.

It's just the club.

Okay, got it.

Got it.

At Shake Shack, we don't talk about any food.

I'm doing great.

I have nowhere to be.

Yeah.

And a record to break.

I think she did that because we were told that there was an out.

I'm not sure.

I believe I had an out, but I told them to push off.

I just have to get to Crosstown by 5.45.

But, you know, honestly, I'm here for the show.

Let's see.

I'm here for the show.

If I miss it, I missed it.

No, no, no.

No, that's That's okay.

We don't have to force it.

Well, I don't know.

But there is a part of me where we were talking, and I'm like, well, look, I mean, what can we do?

I mean,

it's Munch Madness.

It's talk cock.

I can't be trying to pull my own shit here.

I'm just going to quickly Google where I need to be.

Just see.

But I don't have to leave now.

Top Cock is also one of the Chartinels, too, by the way.

Do you want to know who the rest of the Chartinels are?

There's a lot of Chartinels.

We'll figure it out.

We'll find out in subsequent weeks.

If you want to see us die a slow death, we could name five of them for you.

I feel like this is going to end up with koala and a priest's concert.

Shake Shack, meanwhile, uses that their crinkle-cut fries are frozen.

And they switch to fresh fries at a certain point, and their customers complained, and so they switch back to frozen.

So that might be part of why the fries endure a little bit longer.

Did you ever have a religious size ever in your life?

This is a genuine question.

Yeah, we used to go to church every Sunday.

Did you really?

Yeah, I was raised Episcopalian.

We've talked about this before.

Did you ever have anything post that of like, for me, I remember at one point I bought, you know, like those shark tooth rocks?

I remember those, yeah.

Yeah, and I had it around my neck.

And it was like, like, this is like, I'm trying to think of like another spiritual time that wasn't Catholic.

And I was like indigenous or whatever.

And I had that around.

I mean, I'm probably, it's probably, I mean, definitely,

what's it called?

Appropriation.

Appropriation, yeah.

Yes, because, and I like, I had this thing that I would pray to that was like an indigenous.

You would pray to it because you decided to, or you were told when given it, that this was something that I was like, I was told when I was given it that it was like a Native American rock,

which I like, I don't think I really understood.

I remember I prayed to it.

I think I've told maybe part of the story, but I prayed to, because Carlos across the street was like, he dared me to ride my bike with...

my eyes closed.

And so I prayed to the rock and I got on my bike and I rode it with my eyes closed and I slammed into the back of a van, a minivan.

Well, you know why you did that, though?

This is actually interesting because that rock probably got oxidation on it.

And

I think you mean oxification.

Oh, yeah.

There's oxification on that rock.

So that probably sucked out all the patterns.

That was the closest I've ever been to, like, another, no one else is any, like, semi-spiritual in any sort, like,

not Catholic?

Well, yeah, because you're not spiritual now.

You just got lent ashes on your head.

That was, that's more therapeutic for me.

Oh, really?

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

It is.

It is more therapeutic.

Yeah, I understand that, like the ritual.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, no, I mean, we were religious when I was a kid.

Not deeply so, but Episcopalian is also like kind of like it's the, you know, the frozen chosen.

Some people call them, it's kind of Catholicism light.

It's a little frozen chosen?

Yeah, I've heard this before.

I think because it's like, because the

religion is, it's the Anglican church.

I think it's like kind of clustered

in the north.

We were very Catholic.

We went to church every wee well.

We did a thing, which I always thought was like a cheat, and I thought it was so cool.

We went to church on Friday night.

Sorry, Saturday night.

The guy was like, oh, it's a shorter mass.

If you go Saturday at five o'clock, you're done by 5.45.

The weekend begins.

You can sleep in late on the weekends.

And I thought I was like really getting away.

And I was going to Catholic school and we were all.

Catholic school.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nothing?

No.

I mean, there was a period where we would go to church, Greek Orthodox church,

very infrequently.

And it was a short period of time.

We were not religious.

I think, you know, it was, it's also that like most of the service was in Greek.

Yeah.

So

from my sister and I, it was, we didn't speak Greek.

So it was a little bit of a, it didn't land for us.

And I think I went to Sunday school like for one year, maybe, and not frequently.

It was really not a part of our life.

Well, you know, it's so interesting because we're not going to church right now.

We have kids and it's, and but we're, you know, we celebrate Christmas and stuff.

But

oh, maybe I shouldn't tell.

I will.

My wife got

one of those like DNA tests, or her sister did, as a matter of fact.

And, and it just showed that way,

like her dad's grandfather was Jewish.

And so now June is like, oh, we're, we're Jewish.

And, and, and, and I'm like, well, I mean,

yeah, I mean, me, I mean, well, I like we're trying.

And so now my, my, my son is like, well, I'm Jewish.

And I'm like, I, I, I,

I don't know where I'm sure, I guess.

I don't know.

I mean, technically, I got like, it's kind of removed.

No one knows exactly what we're doing.

Like, it's like, it's a very funny add-on.

And then my other son's like, I'm not Jewish.

I'm like,

at this point, whatever we want to decide whatever yeah

i think that's fine um it is just funny to me that that in and out is such a strong christian company and i don't even think about it as much anymore but like when i first got to la that was a thing that i we did we did it for rock dober bless yeah i remember i i remember discovering that of like you know it's again or just that that's a thing again pre-internet but like kids would tell you is like if you look in the underside of your fries container there's like a bible verse well now why are they different than chick-fil-a i i don't think i think think functionally they're pretty similar.

I guess the argument against Chick-fil-A is that they support

in their politics, but

I suspect the In-N-Out people, you know, probably the same.

Yeah, probably similar.

Did you have a Conclave quote under your cup or no?

I think there's a tie-in with Conclave.

There is right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which is pretty cool.

I did have the famous quote from Conclave of, of course, Ray Fine going, like, who will be the next pope?

Who knows?

What are the, like, what are are the foundational elements and components of the conclave?

Oh, well,

yeah, great question.

I'm sure we'll get into this in subsequent weeks as the conclave.

Yeah, probably on a double.

Yeah, probably.

Well, I think in the future, oh, yeah,

we'll get into it.

So now it is a two-hour mark, and we have just cracked into In-N-Out.

Let's talk about it.

Let's do it.

Let's get to business.

I got the In-N Out Burger double double.

This was two beef patties, two cheese slices, lettuce, tomato, and spread.

I know people know what that is, but you know, the In-N-Out Burger is not

all of America and certainly not globally.

I got sliced raw onions.

How much is your global internship?

I think it's pretty decent.

So, a lot of people are listening foreign language.

I think in English-speaking nations that are big.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Australian and UK.

Super quick, before we get super into it, like will you guys just say how much each of you earns on the podcast per year?

Yeah.

And why you feel it's okay to have drops with other people's music in it.

Hey, taking money out of those artists' mouths.

Hey, new update.

Drops are over, everybody.

Listen, last drop.

I added chopped chilies.

The chilies are Cascabella peppers.

I always thought they were banana peppers.

They are sometimes banana peppers.

Are those the peppers that you can also get next to like the ketchup stand?

Yes, yeah, yeah.

You can get those too.

You can do it your own way.

I thought this burger was, I did eat in the car.

I got the little container container and I sat in my Chevy Bolt and it was heaven.

It was delicious.

I thought it was just such a well-it was like the perfect

platonic ideal of In and Out burger.

I thought it was just really, really great.

I do listen to music when you eat in the car like that, or do you like watch something on your phone?

Dead silence.

Dead silence.

That's what I thought.

Oh, yeah.

You're a no, you're a no-music guy.

Alone with my thoughts.

I don't get that at all.

I walked by your car one time and it was, you had a track on, just somebody breathing.

That was me.

I heard that when you were in a Waymo, the Waymo was like, you okay, man?

Waymo's like, I worried that you feel like

I'm going to pull over now.

I was in his car, and it was the Halloween soundtrack.

But it was just the Michael Myers breathing parts of the movie.

I thought it was going to be

John Carpenter's score.

But yeah, it's just the mask breathing part.

So you're in your car.

The rain is pattering on your roof.

That's what you're listening to.

I'm setting the scene, Mitch.

I love this.

Where is the car located at this point?

Where's the car located?

500 yards from a school, I'm guessing.

At least.

No, I pulled into a space.

I pulled into a space.

Oh, in their parking lot.

In a different parking lot, but nearby.

Yeah.

I pulled into a nearby space.

In that high school parking lot.

Yes.

Mitch, what did you get for your nutburger?

You always go animal style.

I did go animal style, much like how I enjoyed the Muppets, of course.

And

I got, for the first time ever, I think,

a single cheeseburger.

Not a double-double.

Yeah.

Just a single patty cheeseburger.

Why did you opt for the individual cheeseburger?

Because I'm on fat guy drugs.

It's hard to eat stuff.

Sure.

That is the, I don't know if I should call it the issue, but it's.

You should definitely call it fat guy drugs.

Just the fat guy drugs.

Be cool, man.

Be cool.

They should have.

It's too bad Chunk didn't have this back in the 80s.

He would have been nice and slim.

They would have called him Think or Thung.

Think.

Thung.

Thung.

They would have called him Think.

They would have called him Thung.

No, they would have called him Thunk.

They would have called him Thunk.

Skinny Chunk.

Skunk.

This rewrite is bad.

I will say that.

This rewrite's terrible.

The actor who played Chunk, who's now a lawyer.

He's a lawyer, yes.

And he looks like a funniest lawyer in New York at some point, right?

Oh, yeah.

I think it'll believe you.

Didn't he win funniest lawyer in New York?

Then that's what you want when you're a lawyer.

I've met him on quite a few occasions.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he looks great now, right?

Yes.

But to you, he would look no different.

No, no.

you're, because I think part of his whole thing is he looks really good now.

He's like in shape and ready to go.

But you think he looked in shape and ready to go.

I thought he looked in shape and ready to go when he was.

So you're just when you've met him recently or in years,

recent years, you're upset he doesn't look like the little kid chunk?

Yes.

I'll usually whisper in his ear, sell out.

He's like, I grew up.

I'm like, whatever.

But look.

Do you know that it happened in the same week, Back to the Future?

This is what I think Paul told us just the other day.

Or Neil or Paul, that Back to the Future and

Unis happened in the same week.

Yeah,

they're not released at the same time, but the movie's universe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're different areas and everything like that.

They're going back in time and Sloth was getting freed all at the same time.

I think that's fun.

That's a fun thing.

Love it.

Anyway, sorry

to get off of thunk.

I always give in and out a hard time because you like it, and I like to give you a hard time because it's fun.

But I also, I love my buddy Nick.

Wow, that's nice to say.

And shut up.

How would a guy from New Orleans say it?

Well, it is funny because

the guy at the window at In N Out.

That's right.

He's like, I just moved here from New Orleans.

I was like, oh, that's pretty cool.

And he's like, would you help me in the bathroom?

There's an issue.

I said, yeah, sure thing.

And I came in there.

And then he's like, now that you're in here, you mind sucking me off?

And I said, yeah, sure, no problem.

And I sucked him off.

And then I said, You know what?

You're a nice guy.

I'd like to shake your tail.

And I said, Wait a minute, tail?

What the you're a fucking gator.

He said, I got you, boy.

And then he, and then I hope there's no gators in the conclave.

They're never, you won't know this too later.

There is not a new bishop gator.

There is a new chartineau that just arrived in the conclave.

Yeah, there is a mysterious new chartineau, but I'm sure he's not a gator.

He can't be a gator.

There's no way to get a bad person.

I bet he also doesn't have a secret in general.

No one's going to have a secret.

Yeah, if there's a new chartineau, they're not going to have a secret.

They're showing up.

I took a bite of this single cheeseburger, and

I can't dislike.

I got the crunch of the bun.

You can taste the crunch of the bun that they put on that griddle.

Yes, it is a mildly toasted bun.

But you can taste that mildly toasted

the beef.

And this is honestly where I, in another, in another fact I attempt when I ate keto for a brief period of time, which Paul Russ called Cheeto.

I was not eating Cheetos.

I did.

I don't think he was calling it because it was like Cheetos.

It was like cheating,

right?

Oh, no, no, he was saying that I was eating cheetahs.

He was saying I was eating Cheetos.

I've been made fun of a lot over the years on this podcast.

I hate it, and I hope that the show ends soon.

I, so that's real.

We have that in our power.

We have it in our power.

We'll end it at some point.

You guys signed a 15-year contract here at Feral.

At Ferrell, right?

Shit, Harmon's going to be so mad.

I

when I when I ate just when I wasn't eating bread and I had the lettuce wrap burger, I was like, the quality of the In-N-Out burger is, the patty is great.

I'll get a protein style sometimes, even when I'm not like counting carbs, just because it's like, it's like a slightly lighter meal.

And I just like how it tastes.

It's fucking, it's great.

And I was eating it.

And look, my complaint is that sometimes, like with the single patty, I think I wish I said no lettuce, maybe, or maybe,

no veggies at all.

But the, because the lettuce, they, they do throw a lot of lettuce on there, but it was fantastic, Nick.

And honestly, going into it, I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to vote handles.

Yeah.

And then going into it, I took that first bite and I was like, I don't know.

I still don't know my answer.

I have no idea.

It was, it was a really, really good burger.

Wow.

Zeus, you had your burger here.

Yeah.

I don't know if you had it.

I had it on, I started eating it

when they handed it to me through the window and I ate most of it on the drive over here.

And then, oh, did you spill?

I spilled all my pills.

You did a pill.

Spills.

Pill spill.

Okay, we got Jemmy.

Don't worry.

Jemmy's not going to get over there.

All right, good.

No pills for Jemmy.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Oh, that's one more pill I dropped.

Do you want us?

Do we need to put it in some peanut butter for you?

Give him a greenie.

Give him a greenie right now.

If you have a pill pocket, I will take one.

Sorry, go on with your story.

No, no.

So I ate it on the way over, and

my in and out was a single double.

So, two patties, but one slice of cheese.

And at some point, I've got to pull that off too, because dairy is just clobbering me.

Today is a big lactate day for me.

Oh, I love it.

I love it.

I lactate it up.

I had a single double, and then I can't obviously have the sauce.

The spread has mayonnaise, which has eggs, so I'm out on mayonnaise, but I will get light ketchup, just a little bit of ketchup, grilled onions, pickles, and and then right lettuce tomato right that's that's that's it that's all i have on my burger uh i got fries i just picked at them a little bit but i did get you can hold on one second

six is standing

not that this is all that important oh but should we want wow i do have reaching into a bag oh my gosh single burger in this bag wow how long that's and i've been there for over two hours oh yes that i got because i was like oh there's an off chance that we might want just it is nothing on it it is a plain burger i was like

maybe they want to talk burgers but then i was also like jemmy could have it so i i kept i'm like we're talking about the condensation i don't see any condensation on that bag which is it's just the burger so it's that's all there is in back to the classroom for you you fucking dumbass

I think condensation theory is out the window.

But I had a great time.

Much like Weiger, I ate it in the car

listening to episode one of Tot Cock.

Arden Maureen and Lauren Labkiss just absolutely demolishing you, idiots.

I would like to share the burger with Jemmy if that is okay.

I would like to try

to do it.

Oh, you want some too, you mean?

Not you want to feed it to Jemmy.

No, I'm not trying to get a lady in the tramp situation going on here.

I'm not trying to kiss Jemmy.

You're cute as hell if you did.

I would gladly kiss Jemmy.

Yeah.

In a boss employee way.

Wow.

All right.

This is really.

Now you've made it awkward.

No, this is,

I will say, Jemmy, you should get a lawyer.

I got sued by a headgum and Jemmy.

And it was great.

I loved it.

I loved it.

I love that burger.

Yeah.

It is ever, like I said, it is never disappointing.

The only time I've ever been disappointed are the few times earlier on where I tried to bring it home or bring it someplace else.

And then it is.

It's soggy.

It's not as good.

The fries are soggy.

And it's not, that's, but that's not the point.

The point is, it's right here, right now, it's good and it's like coming straight out of the window.

So, I won't even move my car.

I sit right there while they watch me out the window and I just eat it.

Yeah, you don't move.

Please move.

We have other cars.

That's why the blinds are so long.

He's like, You're no longer.

I'm like, You watch me eat this.

Um, I will say this:

I was like you.

I was like, this is going to be handles hands down.

Like, there's no, because I was like, I, there has been like I, a de-fascinated, like, I, like, I stopped like my fascination fascination with In N-Out Burger.

I was like, I don't know.

I don't get it anymore.

And I recently went to McDonald's and I was like, you know what?

I'm going to have a burger.

I haven't had a burger at McDonald's in a long time.

Had that.

I felt nauseous for the rest of the day.

It really kind of hit me in a weird way.

I was like, maybe it was a chicken nuggets and I really went overboard.

McDonald's, I feel like, is all about the rumblies.

Yeah.

It was like, ooh, it was like, that was too much.

But I go in there yesterday.

Rainy day.

Perfect day for a burger.

I feel like I get, I just, I, I'm trying to keep it simple because I feel like that's what I want to do on this show.

I go, give me a number two.

That's all.

Even try some of the pink lemonade, and I'm not supposed to judge on the pink lemonade.

And it was

drinks are in the, in the Gatorade jug.

Is that?

Yeah, sides are in the sideline.

Drinks are in the Gatorade jug, also the sidelines.

I do like that pink lemonade, though.

I do, too.

It's very good.

It's very good.

And so I got that.

It came very quickly.

I sat down.

at the counter like there's a not like one of those tables like i was an elevated counter next to a person we're all together it was a real working man kind of moment you know know, I've got me with a moment.

You're like blue collar Mitch?

Yeah, blue collar Mitch.

So I was that guy.

Hey, I'm blue.

I am blue collar.

Blue collar Mitch?

Oh, okay.

I come to work with my Jersey Mics bag like a pail and I put in my four hours of podcasting a day for one episode.

And yeah,

to your note, like

the bun was crisp, the burger was great.

And what I really like, and this is my own little thing, is like, I want to taste the different levels of the burger.

I don't want everything to be crammed together.

So I felt like the lettuce was crisp.

I got to taste a little bit of these.

Like it popped.

It all just popped.

It was delicious.

The fries were great.

And I was like, I have been eating in and out wrong.

I've been eating it with too much of a delay.

I've been eating it off of a truck.

I've been waiting on the line.

Like, I need to get it.

and eat it and this is a whole different experience it changed my whole outlook on an n well it's it because if you simplify, it really is, it really highlights this.

These are good ingredients.

And if you slop it all up with a bunch of sloppy stuff, it can be just unwieldy.

And I will say, I was nervous.

I was like, ah, well, I get a little bit of rumblies.

No rumblies.

And I just wanted to put the McDonald's there as a comparison.

Like, I felt good, and sometimes I don't even feel that great after a shake shake.

I'm like, oh, that was heavy.

I felt heavy.

I did not feel heavy for the rest of the day.

It was a very light, delicious meal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not, it's not like health food, but it's ultra-processed.

So, you know, you're not necessarily going to have that heavy feeling afterwards.

One thing I got really into doing a couple of years ago, I don't do it as much anymore, but I was basically making a Big Mac simulacrum at in an Out Burger by way of

taking the tomatoes off of the

double double and then adding pickles.

And that like, you know, it basically simulates that

Big Mac, but it's just like a little bit of a better quality all around.

I got into a little bit of an issue when I was ordering in the front because I ordered, I said, I of number two, and I just didn't understand what the person behind the counter was saying because she had said onions, but she said only she like, and I never, and I didn't know that that was a like a, and I was like, what?

An option.

Yeah, and I was like, onions.

I was like, it was so, it was said so nakedly that it took me a second.

I was like, but of course,

but I didn't realize how many people must not order the onions.

Is that like a.

Yes, they've, they've become, I don't know, that may have happened in our lifetimes at a point, at a certain point, it became a question.

Okay.

And, and what, do you want onions or no onions?

And then all some people like the grilled onions is about.

I get grilled onions.

Okay.

So people don't like the raw onion.

Yeah.

I just got them in trouble.

Who?

I texted Dania.

They were talking outside of our door.

It sounded like a podcast was going on outside of our door.

And I said, asked Daniel if she'd tell them to be quiet.

Well, there was a big yellow.

I felt like a narc.

I felt like a narc.

What a fucking narc.

This is Totcock.

Oh, it's Conover.

No, it's not Conover.

Was it Wayne Brady?

Oh, my God.

I bet it was Wayne Brady.

Oh, no.

Wait a second.

I just saw on my phone that they've canceled Wayne Brady's podcast.

Wow.

At the behest of blue collar Mitch.

I was getting distracted.

I just said,

I didn't mean to.

How dare you.

Mitch, whose meal is it anyways?

And we're going to see the light of day.

Wow.

This is heartbreaking.

That's rough stuff.

Let's talk about handles.

He's improving too much.

He's got to stop it.

You can't improv all the time.

You got to have real conversations.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, wait a second.

I'm seeing there's something actually going on.

They're actually making Conover and Wayne Brady switch podcasts.

Yeah.

Oh,

now.

Yeah.

Now,

my God.

Now Wayne Brady's got to do factually, and now Adam's got to improvise.

This is going to be tricky.

And they're giving Wayne Brady conover hair.

They are.

I'm watching it right now.

His hair is slowly growing.

Oh, wow.

They were like, can you get your hair?

I'm just, I'm just seeing it.

Wow, yeah.

And they're like, we're just documenting what's happening in front of our eyes.

And they're like, I'm just, I'm watching, watching, I'm seeing most.

I can see this.

And they're like, can you have Conover hair?

And he said, let me try to improvise that.

And then he went like this.

And the hair started to grow up.

Why?

That's a good improviser.

Great improviser.

Can you do that?

Yeah, that's good.

He just got a suggestion of hair and he did it.

Yeah.

That's really something.

Incredible.

He is the best.

He's on another level.

He's the best.

He is.

He's a really good improviser.

That's why we've all done his podcast.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Con over doing Wayne Brady's format.

You may be like, oh, that seems like a tough fit.

He is a monster of musical improv.

Oh, yeah.

He makes off book look like off shit.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, he does.

That's right, Jessica Zach.

Yeah.

Off books looks like off shit.

Yeah, off shit.

Shit that looks cock.

Yeah, right.

Store brand shit.

Off shit.

I went to Handles and Birklin shit.

Here's the thing.

I went on a rainy day.

I ate my In-N-Out burger in a parking space.

I went over to Handles, directly to Handles.

Are you Team Missy Elliott?

How do you feel about the rain?

How do I feel about the rain?

I'm kind of an inverse Shirley Manson.

I'm not happy when it rains.

Wow.

I'm from Shirley's.

You are Missy Elliott.

Missy Elliott can't stand it.

She can't stand the rain.

Oh, she can't stand the rain.

Okay, how about that?

Yeah, I can't say I'm a Missy Elliott.

But I got to say that I think that In-N-Out benefited from a rainy day.

That was a great treat on a rainy day.

It felt very special, I think.

And what I was going to say, Handles, so I showed up.

I tried not to show up too close to closing for any restaurant, but like I was like, it's an ice cream parlour.

It's okay.

It was like 15 minutes before closing.

It was popping.

I could not believe how popping it.

Handles is like handles.

I've gone there now multiple times, and there are lines, there are things happening.

It's a whole scene.

Well, I went to this handles that's nearby, the studio here, and

at like noon when it opened.

Yeah, I went, not noon, but a little, like when I was on my way over here.

And so it felt to me like, what a strange thing to be getting of four scoops of ice cream at like 1245.

I just felt like this is insanity to be ordering four scoops of ice cream in the middle of the day.

This is basically just begging for diarrhea.

Yes.

Did you see Susser over there?

Oh, yeah.

The corpse of Susser was there.

Not the ghost.

I got two flavors, both of which I'd had because I was like, double, double, the,

you know, an even matchup.

I should get two scoops of handles um i i got blue i got two flavors

double double versus two scoops i got uh two flavors that i'd had previously both of which i really enjoyed one is blue monster this is blue vanilla ice cream big vanilla fan vanilla is a flavor with oreo cookies and chipple hoys we had that the handles sent us the vanilla with uh with oreo cookies and that was a great flavor it's really good i not spoiler alert

That is one of the scoops in my four scoops that's in the waiting.

Okay.

I got the blue monster.

I also got the.

Oh, sorry.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

Watch.

When we do stop down to go grab it, can I pee?

Of course.

Was going to be my question.

That's all.

So whenever that's convenient, just let me know.

Well, we should do that now.

But you're in the middle of something.

Do you want to finish your thought?

I will.

Right after this.

Wow.

All right, we're back.

The headgum toilets drank there, Phil.

The second scoop I had was Graham Central Scooter.

It is weird that they put in a thing where you flush the toe and it goes, thank you.

Yeah, I don't know why they did that.

I'm full.

When I was looking for.

He says that for you.

Yeah,

when I go, it's like, I think I'm going to be sick.

Please stop.

Please stop.

No,

don't pour grease in here.

This is my urine.

What is this?

Tar?

This is the equivalent of of Thanksgiving for me.

Oh, God.

One of the houses I looked at when I was first looking around for houses, they had a mouth-shaped urinal.

Oh, God.

I was like, I like it.

I like it too.

I feel like a urinal in a house is a rare thing.

Yeah.

Well, that's why it's definitely

a choice.

And I think it's a public knowledge that Mike Lazzo, the guy who ran Adult Swim,

he also, he had a urinal installed in his shower because he didn't like peeing in the shower.

He wanted to pee in a urinal.

So he had a urinal installed in his shower.

Wow.

That seems grosser.

It was interesting because I was like, but when we went over to his house, I was like, I got to see this thing that I've heard so much about.

He's like, oh, yeah, take a look.

Was the house you were looking at?

Was it Pee Wee's Playhouse?

Cherry?

Did the urinal talk?

I got Graham Central Station.

This was one of the flavors they sent us in our bundle.

And

this is Graham-flavored ice cream with a colour.

Hold on.

I just want to make sure this is not bought by handles, right?

Yeah, the doboys can't be bought.

All right, I just want to make sure.

It wasn't your pint.

It wasn't my pint.

No, I got.

No, this is stuff.

I went out of pocket for this.

I went to Handles.

You used a Dough Boys credit card.

I used Doe Boys credit card.

Yeah, but I went in store and I paid for these scoops.

I'm just saying, of course.

You didn't do anything special here.

I know.

I didn't say I was.

So

you pulled into Graham Central Station.

I pulled into Graham Central Station, Graham-flavored ice cream with Graham Cracker Ripple and chocolate-covered crunchies.

So I had two chocolate-adjacent flavors, but they both had kind of chocolate mix-ins.

I would have let, you know,

there's an argument for varieties.

I should have gotten a fruit flavor or something like this, but these are two flavors I knew I really, really liked in the same way.

I really, really liked the In-NOW

double-double.

And I feel like you're also pretty different.

I'm like, I don't want to critique you on this because it's obvious to your show, but I feel like you did yourself a disservice by not getting the four scoops.

It's like you were trying to do the double-double, the double-double, but I feel like what you really needed to do was what Jason and I did, which is sample the four scoops.

The four scoops, here's the thing.

I've done the four scoops before, and Handel's is very,

you know, like, like their portions are pretty ample.

Yeah.

And so you're getting basically four full scoops, even though it's a sampler.

Sure.

But I like the amount of ice cream you get with the medium.

Like you get two like scoop and a half.

Because I was going to say, listen, that's not a lot of ice cream.

Okay, when you got this, did you eat all four of those scoops?

No, I did not.

Okay, so that's

okay.

Okay,

I think it's good as a sampler, but I agree with Wiggs.

If I was just eating a dessert, I would have one or two of those scoops as my personal dessert.

Yeah, right.

Mitch, you okay?

Yeah.

Mitch is looking suspect.

No, no, no, no, no, me too.

Yeah.

But I feel like if I look down at the ice cream, it's going to be gone.

No, I certainly haven't eaten the four scoops at once ever in

my life.

That would be too much, I feel like, for me.

But I wanted to try a bunch of them.

and on the episode previous you guys had said this was the way to go to oh

it's a great it's a great i think it's a fun thing that they do the four scoops is

i i i liked it and i i think that that's what i wanted to make sure that i did here too is like really try to explore two different things at this place because a lot of different flavors here a lot of different flavors did did did the fam get involved at all

i didn't invite them into this

yeah i know because i was like because here's here's my thought process if i'm gonna do it later in the day then it's got to be a whole thing and i'm gonna bring them like I just got to knock this out.

I got to eat my ice cream.

I got to be a professional here and enjoy it.

I don't want anyone taking a bite.

I got to have my focus on it.

I come to this not like a fucking dad, as a professional food eater.

I'm not going to jerk around with this.

Thank you very much.

We actually appreciate that.

Yeah, I'm not going to bring the family out to have their opinion for you.

My kids don't like ice cream anyway.

Yeah, they don't like it.

By the way, my kids.

I like it.

By the way, I will say my kids prefer pinkberry.

I'm like, guys, you want handles?

They're like, you like pinkberry?

I'm like, oh, you nerds.

Yeah, You nerds.

That's not good.

Wow.

All right.

Zeus, did you want to dig into this?

Sorry, I totally forgot.

Okay.

So I went to the location, like I said, that's nearby here, and I was, I had a long conversation about my allergy with the lovely woman who worked there, and she was incredibly helpful.

And so was she the woman from Boston that Mitch met?

That I don't know, but I will say, yeah, perhaps.

Although, maybe, okay, well, here's what happened.

So I was was asking her all these questions and I said, okay, I'm going to get four of these scoops.

And I said, I've got to eat some for a podcast later where we're talking about it.

And she said, oh, really?

What podcast?

And I said, Doughboys.

And she said, oh, Dough Boys.

I also work at the Velasco Theater.

There was a Dough Boys

live show there.

Oh, wow.

She did not say she was a fan.

She just said she had previous knowledge of the Dough Boys.

She knew her boyfriend was a fan.

She did not.

She didn't say that.

That's because

the other person who works at Handles did tell us her boyfriend, the one who was from Boston told us her boyfriend.

Oh, maybe it did.

It very well.

It could have been.

Very well.

Could have been.

Yeah.

And she was lovely.

And so what we have here is vegan chocolate.

That's their vegan flavor.

It's an almond milk one.

Regular vanilla, regular vanilla with Oreos, and the orange cream dream.

Thank you.

Yes.

That you guys had all shouted out as one of your favorites on the last episode.

I want to talk to, because I think Weiger, you and I might have talked about this on a previous episode, but I'm a big believer, and I think this is a known statement, that you should always try the vanilla for sure at an ice cream plate.

So that's the state.

That's the base level.

It's like cheese pizza.

It's yes.

100%.

You got to go, you got to go strong.

I don't agree with it like that.

It's cheese pizza.

You don't think so?

You think it works as like a base?

What is it?

Cheese pizza to me is...

Like,

I just, I get that it's, I know what you're saying.

It just doesn't, to me, like, I want to have the cheese pizza because, one, it is my favorite style of pizza.

Yeah, that's pizza.

But that, but that is just, it is, it is the base.

But vanilla to me doesn't seem like the baseline for some reason.

But a lot of flavors are vanilla with mix-ins.

Yeah.

And also, I think that, you know, vanilla is an extremely popular flavor.

It might still be the most popular.

I'm shocked you don't love it because it's white.

This is the tough thing for me with vanilla.

I mean, I do like vanilla.

I've given you a hard time about about vanilla.

Have you had any handles yet?

Zero.

This will be my first time.

This is my first handles experience on camera.

There's also a good chance I just have egg on my mouth.

Jesus Christ.

Wow, egg on your mouth.

Okay.

Vegan chocolate.

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

That's pretty good.

It does have a little bit of the, a lot of vegan stuff has a little bit of like a,

oh, it's almost watery.

Sure.

You know, it can feel a little bit like there's icy or watery something in there.

Sure, yeah.

And it has a little bit of that, but it tastes pretty good.

Anyway, anybody, by the way, go grab try some.

I'm definitely going to try some, but

I want you to go.

I want your.

But I've never tried this cream dream.

I'm just going to get my lactate.

Even for the almond on my lactate.

Oh, wow.

Can I try a bite of this?

I've tried everything, guys.

Because I've not tried it.

That's why I brought it.

I kept a record of my four scoops.

So you haven't tried the Orange Cream Dream.

I have not.

You're asking me.

Yeah, Zeus has not tried any any of it.

I've only tried that chocolate one I just had.

The orange cream dream is a go-to for me.

I think

that is probably my favorite type of.

That's great.

Yeah, fantastic.

That's very good.

That's like those old school pops that you would get, like those from the freezer section.

Yeah, good right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's fantastic.

Dream sickle.

Is that what they are?

Yeah.

Dream sickles, 50-50s, I remember they're sometimes called.

Mitch is having some vanilla right now.

I'm trying vanilla one.

I'm going to wipe off my spoon.

Jason, can you grab me a lactate too?

I'm working on it.

I I have a bunch in my car, but I do too.

That's what I'm wondering.

If I might have left them in my car, so you guys think about how food might affect your bodies.

That's interesting.

Me, Wags, I am the same thing.

I'm surprised by this because I do not

make that calculation.

Um, I took a bunch of mirror lacks before the show, though, so that is a I am kind of like a ticking time bomb.

And by the way, yeah, I'm on this couch with him.

It's working.

Um,

here,

well, I don't want to take yours.

Black tape is free.

Does anybody else want to like?

Black tape is being distributed.

I tell you that, okay.

And this is interesting.

Okay.

I like that chocolate vegan one.

It's pretty good.

I know exactly what you're saying.

Yeah, that's all.

But I mean, like, it's the faintest whiff of a little bit of like a watery or an icy

texture more than anything else.

I thought you were going to start singing a little bit of Monica and

that orange

cream dream.

Yes, cream sickle flavor.

That's very, that's very good.

Yeah, that's very good.

That's great.

I like that.

I eat a lot of vegan ice cream from Van Leeuwen.

Yes, Dr.

David Chain.

And that, I think, is very good vegan ice cream.

I got to try that again because since UCB, I haven't been over there that much.

Yeah, I think that's really good.

There is a vet for people not in LA, there is a Van Lewin right next to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Franklin.

Is that a chain as well, Van Leeuwen?

Yes, it it is.

Yeah, it is.

Okay.

That Oreo ice cream, they do a damn good Oreo ice cream in there.

Yeah, these are great.

They really do.

This is tasty as hell.

And it does make the,

this is a good pairing because these are both very good executions of the thing they set out to do.

And they're also very, they're both pretty simple concepts.

Yeah.

Like they're, they're just streamlined.

They're not trying a bunch of extra stuff.

Handles is like, we're doing ice cream made in store the same way we've done it since 1948 or whatever year they were founded.

I think 1945 and in an out burger, which is maybe 48.

Yeah, Handles.

Handles been around forever.

And

where

Handles is from Ohio.

It was Midwest for a long time.

It's one of those changes.

Oh, it's never, it's not been here and I just didn't know.

Like Duncan, it was, it was so regionally locked for a long time and then recently came to you know the the west coast.

I uh when I digged it.

When I first heard of handles, I thought it was like a handle, like a scoop.

I didn't realize it was like a person's name.

Like handle.

It's like like

a handle.

It still is a scoop.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

I have some theories on handles.

And

this four scoop pack, I think it solidified some of them, which I'll wait because I want to make sure we have a

bigger discussion.

I love the baby bitch region.

I think that it has some of my favorite.

It has some of just the classic swags, like you're saying.

And I've grown to love In-N-Out.

And handles is new to to me, but I love it.

I think you might not get your ice cream back.

Oh, that's fine.

I'm good with what I've had.

Seems like he's I wanted some tastes, but that's it.

I can't go too crazy because a lot of those have dairy, which will wreck my insides.

I just, he's not, I just can't even see anything.

He's like, not.

I want to eat more.

I'm going to put it.

I'm going to put it down there.

Wow.

It was like I was at the zoo, basically.

I just didn't see any.

It was so funny because you were making eye contact with me while you were trying to start whatever point you were making, but then I watched as you were like,

you were so distracted by wigs's housing the ice cream well but wiggle we came to like we were able to talk about we like wigger had to catch up like you you were you know you had a job to do there you had to get through four scoops very quickly going through those four i would say

three of those are just absolute bangers

and then the the the vegan chocolate was fine it kind of for me tasted like a flavor made out of the outside of an ice cream sandwich like it was kind of that sort of

a little bit artificially.

It reminded me of actually like chocolate sorbet.

That's what it reminded me of.

Well, and a lot of their vegan flavors, I noticed, are sorbets.

I didn't get any of those because I don't like a fruit, like I don't like a mango or a strawberry type of thing.

I would rather have to try the chocolate.

But I agree.

It is, and maybe that's for me.

So much of my ice cream, so much of what I can eat as ice cream

is that kind of more processed stuff.

So a lot of times for me, ice cream was an ice cream sandwich, a drumstick, a

thing that is very stable in a freezer.

I think that, like, as somebody who has done a lot of lactose-free ice creams, a lot of different things, that is a solid almond milk thing, you know, but you're always going to get like a slightly different flavor with almond milk.

Yeah, I'll tell you the four that I got.

Yeah, I just saved them here.

I got birthday cake.

Mitch is holding up his palm, which has brown in it.

I guess you had chocolate on your

have ice cream in your mustache.

Yeah.

I'm going to need you to get it together, pal.

I got ice cream on myself.

Look at him.

He just holds it up until Amelia comes and takes care of him.

Oh, the king is okay.

The king.

Oh, the king has poop on his hand.

I do come out of the head gum bathroom like this quite a bit.

Oh, the hunks, the head gum hunks and honeys are like, you did it again.

I ripped a couple farts in the bathroom just to mix it up for them.

Just so that they don't don't know what's going on.

I got birthday cake, vanilla with Oreos, Rocky Road, and pistachio.

Wow.

Okay.

I tried to keep it alike because I like classic flavors.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I mean, Rocky Road was something I really wanted to try because I feel like I would often get a Rocky Road.

What is Rocky Road?

Because I can't have it because it has something in it.

It's like chocolate nuts and marshmallows.

I think maybe that's it.

Okay.

And pistachio, I found myself to be enjoying that as I liked it as a kid, and I feel like it's it's a much maligned flavor because it's not a go-to flavor, but in a four sampler, I thought that was really good.

And

then I like a birthday cake.

I also got a small hurricane, and I got the banana split hurricane.

Okay.

So, because I am a fan of the hurricanes.

I got one medium hurricane last night.

Yes.

And that's all I got.

And a hurricane is.

I am also a fan.

Yeah.

Hurricane is, you spoon,

it's not a frap.

It's not a drink.

No,

it's very much like a blizzard.

And I guess maybe I should reveal what my thought process is here.

Having that, which I think is very good, with the exception being the dreamsicle, the creamsicle thing, I believe that their strength is in the hurricane because

I think that their ice cream is better cut a little bit with some other things.

I find them to be like, I can't eat that whole thing.

It's too sweet.

It's on the sweet.

It's almost too

Rich.

Wow.

Yeah.

Like I was like, oh, this is a little, like, I feel like that has a sugary tinge to it.

Now, by the way, I like all my first.

Can I ask you this?

Do you think you would have felt the same 10 years ago?

This is an interesting thing.

I feel like our tastes are on a, are on an arc.

Right.

You know, and I do feel like as I get older, my tastes for certain things is going away.

And one of those things is very sweet things or very rich things.

I am more sensitive to sweet now.

Like I'll have like a soda that's too sweet or like a cocktail that's too sweet, and I'm just like, I'm just not into this at all.

It's interesting that it almost comes from Youngstown, Ohio.

Oh,

you think it should come from Oldstown?

Well, no, Youngstown would obviously be making a sweeter thing because they would have to be.

Right, but it's old.

But that's why I think their hurricanes

are thoughtful, Mitch.

I love this new character, thoughtful Mitch,

who strokes his beard to tell you, don't worry, I'm thinking.

My phone has lost.

My phone is couched somewhere.

Good.

Good.

Just stay still and raise your hand.

No, I'm not.

I don't need them to lift up the pad for me.

I do love that Amelia did know where the phone was.

Yeah, she took it back.

Boy, she is keeping.

If Amelia ever goes anywhere else, Mitch will be lost.

Amelia helps me out.

And so does Emma.

So does Emma.

So does Casey.

I just said so does Emma.

Emma brought you a new pair of pants on tour, remember?

Yeah, okay.

I ripped a pair of my pants on tour, and Emma brought me pants to my room.

Because you didn't pack a pair of pants.

You just had the ones you were wearing?

Wow.

Oh, so you want me to go to the counter in my undies wages?

Is that what you're doing?

Hey, wow.

He's a blue-collar boy.

He can only afford one pair of pants.

He's got a pants.

Can't wait for the Reddit.

He actually should have brought two pairs of pants.

Shut up, you fucking dorks.

Hey, shut up.

Don't look.

I know.

Don't look at what they're saying.

If I don't look, it doesn't exist.

Correct.

I mentioned this earlier today when we're talking.

Like, I read Steven Bochko's memoir last year.

Not a great book, but it was interesting.

He had some good anecdotes.

Steven Bochko, a guy who was a billionaire

for producing a bunch of classic TV shows.

And 40% of the book is him complaining about network notes and angry fan letters.

Oh, yeah.

And it's just like you can be in the pinnacle of success in the industry and you're still resenting the people who are carping at you.

Oh,

especially your fans.

Yes, yeah.

He's like on his deathbed mad about someone who wrote him an angry letter about Hill Street Blues in 1982.

He's like, never got over it.

If I ever meet Billy Koger, I'm going to tell him what you think about it.

Call me the one.

If you meet him, FaceTime me immediately.

I would love to tell him I was disappointed in that.

We're both in Make America Great Hats.

And then ask him if he still believes in shapeshifting.

We're both orange cream.

The next four years of the orange cream dream i love the cream

but you see i i don't know how you could do that orange cream dream like as more than a scoop like it feels like it's not like and that's that was the thing like i found each one of these flavors to be delicious yes but a little too like i don't know if i could i mean maybe it's you had doubles so now i want to go back to the double and go did you finish those no problem i finished every i like i was like licking the container i had all of it but i also like love

yeah of whatever and in the house.

Would you just eat the whole pint, or can you space it out over the course of?

I have to space it out at this point, but I will.

I would ask if you would have.

I could.

I exercised, you know, Herculean self-control to having like a third of it left.

Herculean self-control.

Wow.

Wait, so you exercise

the kind of self-control that Hercule Poirot exhibits?

Not Hercules.

The greatest addictive in Zero.

Herculean.

Not Herculean, but Herculean.

He was talking about.

I loved it for you.

It's all about Poro.

He was talking about the youngest clump that they call Herculean.

I will say that a lot of people try to do a hurricane, a blizzard, or whatever.

And what I like about Handel's version of it is it doesn't just feel like a bunch of shit.

Like, sometimes it gets too thick.

It's too, like, I'm just like, like, I'm like, I'm like, and Handles very smooth.

It's delicious.

And I feel like I could, it's like eating a really nicely, like, it's like, you know, sometimes when you get like a sundae, you kind of mix it up and you kind of make your own little like a version of it.

Like, I feel like that's what it's nice and smooth and great.

I really like it.

We had, I was, I was really surprised when we had it side by side with DQ.

We had the, the Dairy Queen Blizzards and the, the, uh, the Handles Hurricane side by side.

I was like, well, this is where Dairy Queen is going to shine.

This is their bread and butter.

The Handels one was was such better quality.

It was like gold next to Fool's Gold.

I totally.

It's on a completely different level.

Go on, Mitch.

I might have to go to the bathroom.

What?

Do you want to take a break?

Do you need to go to the bathroom?

No, no, no, no, no.

Just take a bathroom break.

Huh?

Did someone break into your head?

No, no, no.

Everything's fine.

Okay.

You don't need to hold it if you need to use the bathroom.

Go to the bathroom.

It's fine.

That quickly?

Yeah.

Wow.

You shouldn't have eaten the ice cream.

Yeah, so go to the bathroom.

I feel

You want to eat more?

Please, go to the bathroom.

You want to eat more before you go?

All right, Mitch is going to run to the bathroom.

We can keep talking here for a second.

I will say that,

like,

oh, do you want to keep talking about the stuff or do you want to talk off topic?

Oh, I guess we can talk off topic.

I'd love to talk off topic with you for a brief moment.

Yeah, go for it.

I also loved the anime Look Back.

Look Back was fantastic.

One of my favorite movies of the year.

I am not an anime person.

What other things will you recommend that I can watch like Look Back?

Not like Look Back, obviously.

It's a very singular and unique film, but things that are in that zone.

The other anime that I, my favorite show of last year, Full Stop Free Room Beyond Turning's End.

Incredible.

Have you seen Your Name?

Yes.

The movie Your Name.

I mean, that's the first thing I would think of.

That filmmaker made.

Suzume was the other one that filmmaker made that I thought was terrific.

I mean, those are the first I would think of that are like, to me, tonally similar to

Look back uh but i will say that same uh the the author of the look back manga got a dat

is also the guy who wrote chainsaw man so if you haven't seen okay i haven't seen it i i've heard of it but i i don't know anything about it you might enjoy chainsaw man i think the manga is like better than the anime it's one that suffers in the adaptation uh but i but i i do think it's like well done and it's very entertaining okay uh so that that's the other one i watched a bunch of so far is dan to dan dan to dan is great and it's nuts yeah it's really fun that is a wild watch.

Dan Dan is visually, it's incredible.

It's gorgeous.

It's so silly, and it's so crass, too.

Just disgusting.

And Chainsaw Man is a similar thing of it's just like a disgustingly crazy.

Oh, funny.

It's funny.

Like, it's a very funny thing.

I kind of not avoid, but I sometimes don't make the time for that, and I should.

Yeah.

I went to the Lakers game during One Punch Night, which was a very

One Piece.

Oh, One Piece.

Sorry.

Wow, yeah.

One Piece.

One Punch Man is an anime.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's a thing, though, right?

Yeah, One Punch Man is a thing.

And it was a very crazy, fun night of everyone, very big costumes.

They gave out t-shirts.

It was a very fun thing to see.

But my kids are very much into One Piece.

Yeah.

But not the show.

I watched the show.

I watched the live action One Piece, having not consumed any other version of it, and it was cool.

Seemed cool.

I tried to get into One Piece.

I'm trying again now, but it is so daunting.

It's like trying to

get into The Simpsons from episode one.

They're literally a thousand plus episodes.

it is, it is so far.

You have to start at episode one?

Uh, I, you kind of do because it's all like kind of one narrative.

Okay, got it.

Wow.

One thing, one thing I would recommend to you that I'm watching right now that I do think that you would love, and I would recommend to anybody, is it's on Netflix, it's called Orb.

I started it, you started orb?

I started orb.

Because I think I must have looked at some list that was, if you like Free Ridden, here's something else.

And it was Orb was one.

I think that's how I found Dan Dadan.

Yeah.

And there was one other one that I that, oh, it's, it's one where it takes place inside of a video game that is being shuttered.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

I can't pull the name right now.

And, but there's a player who's still playing, and then it becomes, oh, wait, is this a real world that I'm in?

Am I in a real world that it looks like the video game is, is the world?

I don't know.

It was, it was nuts.

It was cool.

I liked it.

Or by love, because it's the kind of thing of like, if you have an outside knowledge of anime, you're maybe thinking of everything is like one piece, is like a little bit more, you know, fanciful.

But Orb is like a hyper-grounded show set in 15th century Europe about rogue monks secretly researching heliocentrism.

And it's like, it's like such a, it's, it's such a, it's a super dark,

you know, treatment of that because like they're all like, you know, in fear of being tortured as heretics and women involved or in fear of being tortured.

That's a little bit like I watched that show Vineland saga vinland saga vinlsaga rocks which is an incredible anime that is just um

like a a

norse mythology kind of vikings show it's like the it's like the northman the anime yeah it's really cool and it's really dark and it's very violent orb is tonally very similar okay because it's just it's just like you're you're just getting a sense of how punishing and how unforgiving and how dull and and uh you know like how much of life was drudgery back in those they didn't have have podcasts.

It's like you sitting in your car eating food with nothing to listen to.

I love this anime where you just watch a guy just absolutely house

a double-double in his car while listening to nothing.

I do want to eat more ice cream.

What I was going to say, Shir, about your topic, I'm going to, is the...

For me, Handles does not cross over into that threshold of too sweet.

Even though I have less of a sweet tooth than I used to, and I'm not like the biggest dessert guy, I'm not the biggest treat lad.

To me, it's like I feel like those, at least the flavors I enjoy are pretty well balanced, but I'm having some more right now.

Well, you see, now this is where, and maybe I'm unfairly judging it against McConnell's.

And I also have recently found my way back to Ben and Jerry's, which I feel like does a lot of things in there, and they balance it pretty well.

Like,

this was,

I just, there was something about

those flavors that felt too sweet to me, but I've had the

chocolate bar with the vanilla ice cream.

Oh, how are you doing?

You okay, pal?

It was very similar to the ice cream situation.

I just lifted my hand up, and one of the hunks came in helping me out.

That's it.

So, I mean, and like, I, I, and this is like, I'm trying to be a little bit more of a harsh critic on this one because I really did enjoy, like, the flavors are very good.

I just felt like it was a little too decadent as a scoop.

I found it to be a much better

presentation in

the hurricane.

Here's an age-old question:

burger or ice cream cone?

What would you choose?

I mean, me, normally, burger.

Yeah.

I would choose the burger.

So that's, I think that puts me.

But let me ask you this.

And maybe this isn't the task we're being handed here, but if you were to never be able to have one of them again,

for me, I think it would become ice cream.

Now, that's in the abstract, burger or ice cream.

We are, in fact, talking about in and out and handles.

Yeah.

But I would choose ice cream for the rest of my life and never have a burger again.

Interesting.

Whoa.

Wow.

And I love a burger, but I just

have to choose two desserts that I can have that I like.

That ice cream I feel like I need to keep in the mix.

Well, if you're saying this is an interesting way of looking at it, because it's like, would you never have in and out again or never have handles again?

That's that for me is, I know my answer to that.

I think I know my answer to that too.

I don't know my answer to that.

I'll say this.

It doesn't count, Wigs, but I got myself a single cheeseburger animal style, of course.

I had a little bit of a little fry

just now.

Sorry.

I came up with that ruse that I had a, that I had a, uh, that I took a mural according and I had to go to the bathroom.

Um, I

also got myself a black and white shake.

One of the best.

It was really good.

And I can't judge that on it, but I'm like, does a burger, does a double, double, and a black and white shake, does that, would I want that over handles?

I don't know.

But look, we're judging the burger versus the ice cream here.

No fries, no pink lemonade.

Yes.

No, and I think we're

where we have some,

where we have some benefits with handles is you can go a lot of different ways.

You know, we're being, you know, we're more variety, more options.

Chocolate-covered banana.

You got the hand-dipped ice cream bars, which I've had and they are great.

You said ham-dipped?

Ham-dipped.

Ham-dipped by Hercule Perrault.

Now he does wear a little mustache cover to make sure none of those mustache hairs get in there.

I'm shocked that there's no smoke outline of us after you said

ham-dipped, and we weren't there already.

I would love to try a ham-dipped

anything.

It looks like a vanilla dipped in ham.

Now, here's the other thing I want to ask, though.

And this is, I guess, a question we haven't even talked about.

That Johnny Depp movie where he plays the detective with the mustache.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Mordecai.

Mordecai is that just the ripoff of Perot's mustache?

Wow.

And don't forget, Johnny Depp was also in the first Poirot movie.

He was.

He is

in the

murdering press.

I think also when we ask you for your winner, we're going to also ask you to write down who you choose, Mordecai or Hercule Perrot.

Well, Hercule Poirot.

You know, I mean, I love that we got the prequel of Hercule Perot, that he got his mustache because of a horrible facial disfigurement in the beginning of Death and the Nile.

Completely unnecessary, Lore.

Just to make sense of an absurd Mustang.

Just so that people might be like, oh, okay, then I forgive this absurd Mustache.

Like, we need to let people know that that's why he's got this dumb mustache.

Do you watch the other Poirots or only Brana?

Well, I like the Brana.

There are some of the classic adaptations I do need to catch up on of some of the Agatha Christmas.

Okay,

you're not a Poirot.

I like the guy that was on the Masterpiece Theater Perot.

Yeah, that guy's Brana.

Yeah, the Little Mustang.

Oh, I don't know this guy.

Oh,

there's dozens of those.

They're all the books, right?

Yeah, okay.

And then there's the other guy who did the movies.

Well, there's one where Albert Finney's is.

That's one of them.

But no, there's another guy who plays Poirot in like three different movies in the seven.

oh okay okay um

i wish i could watch the original books but you can't really watch the books you gotta you gotta read them so well not really

but by the way you could probably listen to a very good audiobook with a lot of ding ding ding ding ding yeah like there are good there i listened to a bunch of uh agatha christie audiobooks that were great yeah maybe i'll do that yeah it's like yeah it's it's it's a it's a real treat we saw that we saw the uh one of these movies together wise that's right we saw murder murder of the orient express on tour at know it's my first time at alamo draft Draft House in Austin.

Yeah.

Can I take a bite of that burger?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

I forgot.

Now the burger.

Get the burger.

Now the three made room.

Three and a half hours.

We need to decide what's going to happen, what the verdict is, because the ultimate winner of this tournament, as specified by Jess McKenna, will be sent to the first organism to crawl out of the sea who also look like Billy Crystal, determine whether they evolved to live on land or instead return to the ocean to build a Pandora-esque aquatic paradise of myrrh people.

In other words, turn our dystopian earth into a utopian mirth.

And the winner of this round, as Mitch just takes Mitch bites into this burger.

I'm going to take a bite of this burger.

It is like what, like, it's like such the plain burger you weren't messing around.

It's like very

much.

You want to go to the kitchen to get some ketchup?

I mean, I think I will try it just plain.

I got it.

I forgot for that reason because you guys made such a point on the text being like, it's just the burger we're talking about that I was like, well, let me get one without any of the stuff.

You know?

I've never just had a completely plain Wimby style in-and-out burger.

That burger looks like a cartoon.

It does, yeah.

Still pretty, pretty good.

Wow.

That's cool.

I mean, it's a cold burger.

Yeah.

And this is set after someone who just had massive diarrhea.

And again, this was a burger that genuinely was meant for Jemmy.

Yeah.

Look, it won't be the first time I've eaten Jemmy's food.

Marks, we got to eat it.

I'll go get you.

I'll take it.

I'll get you.

Oh, you're going to eat it?

All right, here we go.

I'm sorry, they're eating your food.

This is like ice cold.

Yeah, I'm sorry they're eating your burger.

I'll get you another word.

It's not bad.

It's not bad.

The main issue is that it's very dry.

Yeah.

It's a dry guy.

But it's a good burger.

Like, they make these are.

Oh, what are you doing?

What is this?

Oh, you're giving it.

Oh, see, look at this.

Jemmy, do you want a little bit?

A little bit of burger.

Jemmy's a little bit too cold.

Do you want me to set it down?

She's going to, yeah, she probably wants you to put it on the couch and then she'll take it.

All right.

Give me back.

Do you want to back?

Yeah, I want another bite.

Wow.

Good job.

The winner of this round will face the winner of the punctuation region, Taco Bell versus Chipotle and Sweetfin, which will be on Dough Boys Double this coming Tuesday with special guests Neil Campbell and Paul Russ.

So look for that episode.

Amelia is distributing whiteboards where we can write our answers and reveal them all at once.

Can I just say something real quick?

And you guys initially just wanted to call them dry erase boards, and Mitch said they had to be called whiteboards?

Yeah.

So weird.

We're from the same state.

Remember?

Before the show started, he said I didn't want him to sit on this couch because he's too brown.

You did come in and say, who busted this guy into my podcast?

I thought that.

I thought the dope boys didn't have any, was it DE DEI higher?

Yes.

I just want to say something real quick on a personal note, since this is ostensibly my region.

Doing the tournament of champions here, Mitch, for 10 years.

This is the 10th one.

This, I believe, I can say without hyperbole, is the single toughest decision of my career as a munch madness judge.

There has never been a time when I have dealt with one chain so dear to my heart and one chain that I think is so at the top of its game.

And I have to really evaluate how objective I can truly be when I am dealing with excellence versus excellence.

Well, I have to tell you this.

I came into

this

just hearing

what we were going to have, knowing what I have a thought.

Right.

Then yesterday, had my two.

I changed it.

Then I came back in here, changed it again.

And until this moment, I didn't know what I was going to put down.

Wow.

Oh, also, remember, we're supposed to write down whether we prefer a Mortekai or a

Poirot.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

Jemmy has seen my answer.

Wow.

She can read.

The little known fact about Jemmy, she can read.

I'm pretty sure she can talk too.

She's just not letting us hear it.

Well, she's, yeah.

Okay.

It's okay to be soft-spoken, girl.

Boy, she's so well-behaved.

It's crazy.

What a cutie.

All right.

I have my answer down here.

I I don't even know if I believe it.

Have we all written down our answers?

Yes.

That's a wow, what a statement.

I don't even know.

Yeah.

And I am making my choices.

I just want to say it one more time.

It's, I could never have an in-and-out burger again, or I could never have handles again.

That's how I'm, that's how I'm saying it to myself.

Like, I just want to make sure it's like, I can never have a in-and-out burger, can never have handles again.

I have to think about it like that because it is.

And I want to make sure I'm writing down.

You just start erasing it.

I'm writing down the thing I want to win.

You write down the thing you want to think I want.

Yes, okay.

I'm not thinking of this as I will never have this other one for the rest of my life, but I think that's a valid way to think about it.

I'm just thinking.

Tell me how to think about it.

I want to.

No, I mean, I'm personally thinking about it of what wins in this competition.

What had a better showing?

What is better at what they're trying to do?

Got it.

And yeah,

that's how I render my verdict.

Mitch, have you made a decision?

I almost deleted this.

I don't know.

You don't know?

know?

Are you not confident?

Do you want to abstain?

Watch it.

I thought I was a king to you.

Almost deleted.

Are we getting that big of a mistake?

We're going to be called into a civil suit.

All right.

Jemmy and Amelia are suing me together.

Joint lawsuit.

What are you going to do?

All right.

All right, fine.

You ready?

Are you ready?

Are we all doing it at the same time?

I will count down from three to one.

We will, in unison, turn over our boards.

Do you want to say it out loud or just flip it?

And we should say them out loud as well.

I'm about to change my mind.

I don't know what to say.

Do you want a second?

Do you want a second to think it over?

No, no.

You were locked in.

I'm locked in.

Okay, here we go.

Do you need to have Amelia erase your board?

I'll delete it first.

Is that part of the project?

All right, easy now.

How long is Griffin's episode?

Are we close to topping it?

I don't think we're quite going to make it.

No, no, we'd need another like 40 minutes.

Oh, fuck that.

Can you go to the bathroom again?

We may evaluate it.

All right, we're going to count down.

I mean, we still have a feedback question to get to, so who knows?

I'm going to count down from three to one and in unison, reveal our answers, say what we think we want to advance to the final fork in three,

two,

one.

In and out.

In and out.

I'm

in and out.

It's a tie.

Oh, my God.

It's a tie.

And also, I want to call everyone's attention to the Mitch's spelling of Poirot.

Pure.

Pureot.

That is public school.

I am shocked at myself, but I really am just so impressed by what handles are doing.

You drew the arrow.

Wags, I said, I was like,

I was like, it will be fun to say handles, but I, but I know Wags is going, I can't believe this.

I believe, Jason, I'm surprised at you after saying that you, the dessert is your favorite.

I really loved it, but it really was, if I had had to be choosing one of these for the rest of my life, I might have chosen handles, but I, and I enjoyed the handles, but boy, I love an In-N-Out burger.

And if you said to me right now, as we're leaving, we can go to In-N-Out or Handles, I'd go to In-N Out.

Either of these, if I could only have one for the rest of my life, the answer is In-N-Out.

That's an easy one for me, but I have nostalgia working for it.

So putting that aside, I think Handles was great.

But also, I just want to say, like, it's like, these are both.

When I wait the gallows someday, and I hope I am afforded the kindness of a last meal.

And I-

You're going to get executed?

Yeah.

And it's what did you do?

Oh, I believe that I think we're like eight months away from gallows.

We're absolutely on our way to gallows.

I would want in-and-out burger, but if they brought me handles, I would die with a smile on my face.

So I think handles deserve the win.

Well, here's what I'm going to say.

The first time I see you smile is fucking while you're being hum.

I think this is what swayed my vote on this.

I think that we need to uplift the ice cream places places because there are plenty of burger places.

There are plenty of places to get, and by the way, that's a great burger.

There's plenty of great burger places out there, but I think that ice cream gets the short end of the stick sometimes.

It's rare to get an ice cream going forward.

And I wanted to go for the underdog.

I get that.

But so now, what is the protocol for a tie?

The protocol for a tie.

We go to rule number seven.

I'm sorry.

Rule number eight.

Tie goes to the runner.

If there's a tie, a host and or guest can agree to do a foot race around headgum to decide to which side wins, or they can opt for a deus ex machina, which would be letting the deus decide.

Mitch, I think the sporting thing to do is to invoke the deus ex machina, especially because they have been a captive audience for going on three hours.

And I think we should let Casey and Emma and Amelia render a verdict here and decide which one is going to be.

Do they want to sample any of these ice creams, by the way?

Very rude.

Do you want

to melted ice cream or a merry

half-eaten burger?

Okay, I'll say this is the first time I've tried handles, is right now.

Casey's about to try handles for the first time.

This is swapped.

Yeah, this is going to be a lot of fun scenarios for having handles.

I will say, Amelia texted the handles menu to our Doe Girls group chat, including Anya and Casey this morning, and was like, what do you guys want for ice cream?

And then realized that you both had already gotten it and we didn't need to go.

And Casey had put in an order, and then we were like, we're actually not going.

I reached out, no, and I wouldn't have picked up Casey's order.

I'm going to fuck that up for you.

I'm sorry.

I will say, I get Mike, our video editor, plays in a a softball league that plays every Thursday night and after his softball games we always go get in and out on the way home and I have a Yeti cooler that I bring with us and we put it in there and it keeps it nice and hot and it actually the condensation thing works in the favor of the fries doing that it makes them like almost McDonald's fry texture it's like wow I also get them as cheese fries which is maybe a cheap but I they'll put cheese on top yeah I like melted cheese yeah they take just a piece of the cheese they put on the burger they throw it on top of the thing of fries and they melt it a little bit so it's not like all mixed in it's just on on top.

It's really good.

It works surprisingly well.

I will.

Have you noticed that Mitch has changed his vote?

Mitch has changed his vote to handles.

Handles pure rice.

Whaley doesn't want a dais.

Sus wouldn't want the dais to have the answer.

Especially as.

Sus is dead.

Especially.

Well, in his honor of his memory, because here's the thing: you haven't even, Casey hasn't even tried handles.

You're eating a mix of three flavors in there.

This is so close to me.

This is, I agree.

Paul

cheers right here.

Millie and I have both had handles before.

Yeah, you both had handles.

You both had a lot of hands in.

You both had a freezer full of handles.

Oh, should have got me that hurry?

So, Casey,

Casey is the tiebreaker, or are we allowing for Mitch to change his?

Well, I guess would we collectively decide on the future?

Let me hear.

What are your guys' thoughts here?

Oh, no, you're fine.

Yeah, where does the day of Stan?

I would vote in and out, I think.

And Emma would vote for In N Out.

That's one vote for In N Out.

You just heard a giant

player.

I love ice cream.

I still have some handles in my freezer.

It's fantastic.

It's In N Out Burger, by the way.

I know, burger.

That's all I get.

One more vote for In-N-Out means that In-N-Out advances to face the I changed my vote to handles.

Wait, does the Deus?

Does the Deus?

I changed my vote to

Mordecai.

Wow.

Do we have one?

Yes.

Does the Deus have one vote or three?

Three work.

Is it the winner of our three and that's the one?

Oh, I never said what I got at handles.

Who cares?

That's right.

You never did.

How did you not get to that?

What did you get?

I had to go to the bathroom.

You were thinking about it.

You did talk about a black and white shake that you got at Internet.

I had to go make a little hurricane.

And then you had to make a black and white shake in the toilet.

White.

Yeah.

You had to do 10-2 and 10-3 together.

It's been in there for a while.

I got a medium hurricane, and I got Reese's peanut butter cups, hot fudge, and brownie bits.

Wow.

It was fucking really good.

Sounds delicious.

It was.

It was very goopy.

And I think that was a part of the issue.

A.M.,

you know.

AM coined it.

Let me know your thought.

What would you vote for?

In-and-out burger versus.

Candles, hands down.

So now it is up to Casey who does.

This is not fair.

It falls to you.

And let me just say, if you agree with Casey's verdict, check out his Kickstarter.

My love for you is deep, but the devil loves me dear.

It's a guy you can support.

Also, you can support Casey.

Sucker lives.

Wow.

This is like the conspiracy guys in our crowds.

He's dead.

We learned about it today.

I'm changing my vote to Handles.

Handles wins.

I want to hear what Casey says.

He's going to say In-N-Out.

I was really hoping to try that hurricane today.

Yeah, wow,

that really

could have swayed it, but I love in-n-out, and I gotta give it to in-n-Wow.

Uh, so are we tied again?

No, oh, no, I know what happens.

I actually get Wayne Brady in here.

Wayne Brady has to make the choice.

Yeah, this is insane to me, Wise.

He hasn't had it until he did the leftover glue.

It's too important.

What do you mean?

That's the only, I've only just had handles, but it's a tie now because I have also changed my vote to In-N-Out Burger, which means it is locked up, which means the dais does decide, which means In-N-Out Burger advances to the next round.

Wow, what a shot at it.

You want it.

What a shocker.

You want it.

What a shocker.

If you ever handles in the first place, this never would have happened.

This is such dramatic ending.

Fine.

Foot race, foot race.

Yeah, you can't do the foot race.

Yeah.

Isn't it raining?

Oh, inside the office.

You're going to foot race inside the office.

How big?

Wait, did you do it?

Didn't it go say around the block?

No, around the office.

Around head,

I don't want a foot race.

Oh, that looks like you fucking.

The only person here is Anya, so only Anya would witness this.

Oh, we would film it, though.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

Lots of people are doing it.

But also, it's a very

compact area.

It's not like we're running.

Like, I don't think it's going to.

I am not going to run around.

This isn't.

This is

Wigger.

Do you concede, or do you want to do the foot race?

Do I concede?

What are you talking about?

We already went to the deist.

The deus doesn't know shit.

I feel like, I feel like Weiger betrayed himself.

You wrote in and out, bitch.

You wrote in and out.

I was trying to make you happy.

That's what I thought.

I think that you made a bold choice.

You tried to appease him, and then you realized that your instinct was handles.

You are instinct was handles, and handles should have been the winner.

This is a mess.

Handles didn't even win.

Because you made a very impassioned plea about handles.

This is an important moment.

It's three hours, and

the end result, we don't know what the fuck the answer is.

And we're going to have to do another episode.

We might have to.

We might have to do a part two.

We're going to have to do another episode.

It's all in response to we can never beat Griffin's time.

But, like, what is more famous?

Handles or In-N-Out?

Well, I would argue that more people know Handles than NASA.

I think, probably, yeah, I think maybe nationwide, but I think In-N-Out maybe has a bigger.

No, I don't know.

I actually don't know.

I don't know how I did it.

I would imagine that Handles has a bigger audience only because I do think that In-N-Out is not a nationally known brand.

Okay, so then what is more famous?

Handles or dog?

Well, this is a good question, like an in-and-out, like an in-and-out sign, like go in and go out, or a door handle.

What is more famous?

I'm going to look at Reddit.

Do what Reddit says about handles.

Let's see.

Reddit

versus dog, too.

Here's what I think we have to do, Mitch.

I think we have to take this whole dispute to Deputy Commissioner Yusong.

I think he has to decide.

He's going to cry.

I think he has to decide

who the winner is, and then we can figure

out the next episode.

Look, he's dealing with a conclave right now.

He's going to have to deal with tough questions.

I'm opening up Finally Tried Handles and Reddit and he goes,

okay, he said Graham Central Station, that's the favorite.

This is all very, very

monkey businesses want to try.

Packaging makes zero sense.

But everybody here is no negative comments about handles on Reddit.

Oh, and I want to be clear.

I voted for In-N-Out.

I have no problem with handles.

I thought handles was great.

Yeah, there's under handles.

It doesn't mean that it's like absolute dog shit.

No offense, Jamie.

But I just, I still choose In-N-Out.

That's all.

How about this one?

It feels like that's human shit.

Four years, I have heard about how great In-N-Out Burger is.

Earlier this month, I went to LA to see a football game, and I finally got a chance to get In-N-Out.

The food was terrible.

WTF, what have you people been babbling about?

The fries are crack crap.

The burgers are meh.

and I'm just baffled by the love this place.

That one by the airport can be hitting, though.

Yeah, it can, but it can also be missing.

Yeah, they're, I, I, but I do think that's a common reaction because the In-N Out Burger has been hyped the whole, like, like their whole lives by people from California.

And you come to California, it's like, all right, show me what you got.

We got Whataburger.

Show me what you got.

We got Culver's.

And then they're, they're,

and they're comparing it also to like the best burger place they know and love.

People are on here going, like, Wendy's knocks out In-N-Out, but I mean, this is like a lot of.

Are you looking at the Reddit?

That's a matchup.

We could conceivably see Wendy's versus In-N-Out Burger in the finals because Wendy's of course advanced on the other side of the bracket.

We will find that out.

But it's Wendy's chicken, right?

Wendy's chicken, yes.

So we'll see.

I just, I can't, I can't look.

This podcast.

You can't look?

Try opening your eyes.

You were on.

I was loving the start of the episode.

You were giving him so much shit.

That came out.

You've been giving him shit.

yeah please and to think i could have left for this

based his decision on one hour old like that melted vegan ice 100 only one scoop was vegan i texted mike our video editor his his opinions and to see if we need an extra vote i won't reveal unless we need it

and also jemi gets the vote Mike did say in and out.

Mike would pick in and out between the two.

And I think Jemi would too, because she can't have that much dairy.

It would fuck her up.

I I think the team consensus is in and out if we include our work.

I can't.

I can't.

Look, this show is a lot of things.

It's silly, but we always hold ourselves to a high standard.

You voted

for

record.

I know.

And that's why this is so hard for me.

This is this is.

You just, the regret?

What's hard for you is your personal regret.

This is so hard for me because

I saw Paul's answer.

Oh.

Interesting.

So you made a tactical decision?

I felt bad that your In-N-Out was going to lose, so I voted for In-N-Out.

What?

I saw it.

I saw what you were going through, and I feel like you were trying to appease Weiger, but then Weiger pulls the fucking thing out of the ghee like a laugh.

It's a prestige.

I don't know what he did.

He voted for, I can't believe you voted for Handles.

Well, I switched In-NOUT when you switched back to Handles.

But yeah, I did vote for Handles because I bet Handles deserved it.

And then you go, fried chicken versus handles.

I mean, that's a good episode.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

In the course of this series at the end here, we have collectively voted 11 times.

That's right.

As a group, we have, I believe, voted 11 or 12 times, 11 times, I think, including Saucer Lives.

I've included Saucer Lives in that many vague.

Which is insane.

Yeah, it's akin to a conclave itself.

Yeah, perhaps we're having a a conclave.

Here's the idea.

Let's revote.

We're not going to revote.

We're going to figure this out.

Let's do it for the episode.

We've got to wrap things up.

Just like a restaurant value feedback, let's up to the feedback.

We have a voicemail today.

Emma, let's go ahead and play this.

Hey, Doughboys.

You guys just posted a picture of you with that Mrs.

Fields cookie.

And you just, like, you look like my gay dads.

I don't have gay dads, but like.

I just, when I saw it, I was like, I want them to be my gay dads.

I don't want to be even if I'm allowed to say that.

Anyway, what I want to ask is if you two were going to get married and be my gay dads, what, I'm sorry, what food would you have at your wedding?

What would the meal be?

And what would the cake be?

Yeah.

We have to get out.

Wow.

Okay, get married and adopt this lady.

Why don't you just adopt this adult woman?

I think the question is, if two of us were getting hitched, what would we want for our wedding meal?

Now, I'm going to to propose something.

Maybe the Doughboys are just planning the catering for a wedding.

It doesn't have to be your wedding.

For sure.

But I am curious, like, because we got

two happily married men on the podcast and two swinging bachelors.

Like, is there something that you would want

on your own?

Like,

when you do get married, if that does happen, what are the foods you would want to have there?

Well, you know, for me,

when I got married, I opted not for a

traditional.

Wow.

I opted not for a wedding cake.

I did a brownie.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah.

Oh, that's funny.

That's so fun.

I like that.

Brownie, and there's ice cream available to make it a la mode.

I think I would like to have like ice cream situation that would be you could go and get an ice cream cone or one of these or something like that.

Sure, yeah.

You know, like as a dessert.

Like, I'm not a big, I don't love cake.

I don't love those kinds of like, and I can't eat most of them, but uh, so then I would like there to be some sort of dessert situation that was good for me.

I was at a friend's wedding and they had an ice cream bar and it was wonderful.

They had a bunch of flavors and then they could, you could add toppings if you wanted.

It was like that's the decision.

I'd probably get an in-and-out truck.

Wow.

But then during the course of the wedding, you'd change your mind and get a handle truck.

This was the hard.

This look.

What the?

the whoa, okay, she just knocked his hat off.

Hats are off.

God, oh, boy.

Amelia, Amelia, quick.

Amelia, quick.

Thank you.

Oh, thank God.

Nobody saw.

Nobody saw.

Thank you.

I just want to say one thing.

Yeah, please.

The winner.

Thank you.

She said what I wanted her to say, which is, you're welcome, King.

Just so you guys know, and I think we should feel really good about the decision because the owner of In-N-Out did donate $25,000 to the California Republican Party and $40,000 to Donald Trump's presidential campaigns.

And we're going to say we're going to match that right now.

Match it.

Match it.

It's coming out of Casey's Kickstarter.

But here is the thing that I actually think is really interesting.

The owner does not intend to pass ownership of the company to their children.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

What does that mean?

And it does not intend to franchise nor sell it.

Oh my gosh.

Does that mean he's going to have a conclave?

Yeah.

So what does that mean?

Snyder, when Snyder goes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

the show's over.

That is Esther Snyder.

What is she going to do?

I wish she gave her her son Dan Schneider.

Cool guy.

When I read Sumner Redstone's book about Sumner Redstone that came out recently, I forgot what it was called, but

there's a part in it where he gives a speech to a building on the studio lot that's being named in his honor.

And during the speech, he says,

I will never die.

Incredible.

He's like 87 years old right now.

I love it.

And he did, though.

He did, though.

He did die.

He did die.

I will say that.

One of the charities that they have started has an unfortunate name, but

a good reason.

And In-N-Out has started

a charity called Slave to Nothing,

which is improving the lives of individuals and families affected by substance abuse or human trafficking.

But that is a tricky slave to nothing is a

very good thing.

I'm seeing a text here that says, if we are indeed voting for In-N-Out, we cannot comment on the gay marriage question.

They don't want to,

not to do that.

That's a great point.

Which is a vote for handles.

Which is a vote for handles.

Yeah.

Is this a do-be-continued?

It's like back to the future, too.

I'm going to give proper do to handles and see where their charity donations are.

Yeah, and I feel like if you investigate any of the corporations at the top, they're all villains.

Oh, yeah.

They're all villains.

Let's be clear.

This is,

I don't know how to end it.

I don't know what to do.

I know how to end it.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave the voicemail at 830.

Go to that.

That's 830-463-6844.

Our producers Emma Erdbrinker, our associate producers, Emily Marino.

Our supervising video producers, Casey Donahue, our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

Doughboys apparel and merchandise is available in partnership with kinship goods at kinshipgoods.com/slash doughboys.

And hey, you can get the Dough Boys double, our weekly bonus episode, where Munch Madness continues all month long, plus our entire pre-28 doing back catalog.

Subscribe at patreon.com/slash Doughboys.

Zeukes, Sheer.

You both are princes.

A barn burner.

Thank you so much for being here, giving so much of your time to this.

We're walking away not

answer.

Casey, what is her lives?

What's the time on Chuck E.

Cheese 2, please?

Oh, Chuck E.

Cheese 2 is about a little under three and a half hours, I believe.

Okay.

We're at 3.18 by this clock.

Yeah.

Well, but we got to put ads in there.

Ooh, I like the sound.

Oh,

okay.

All right.

Are we doing planning?

We really don't know anything.

No.

I think we made a decision.

It's just that Mitch is hemming and hawing about.

I think the decision that was made when we had the initial vote that I said, Mitch had a lot of people.

You don't even see me start to hem and haw my hands.

I said, are you locked in multiple times?

You confirmed that you were.

You voted in and out.

It locked it up at 2-2.

I said handles.

Watch the video.

You had in and out there.

Handles.

We invoked the law that is established by the late Commissioner Susser.

By the way, our friend died earlier in that was a little bit of a show.

Yeah, I know.

I'm emotional.

That was your friend.

Not our friend.

Yeah, not our friend.

I would say my friend, honestly.

Do you want me to be honest?

I mean, how much have you hung out with Susser outside of work?

I was supposed to get lunch with him yesterday.

We recorded the fucking podcast.

You were supposed to get lunch with Susser?

We're going to get lunch.

You guys did go to the Nixon library together.

We hang out.

No, you don't.

No, you do not.

How many presidential libraries have you gone to with Susser?

Oh, that's bullshit.

Yeah, I didn't.

I've never been to the presidential library until they built the Trump Ridge.

Savage Flex.

Savage Flex.

I went to the JFK library.

Oh, there you go.

In Boston?

Yeah, yeah.

The rule said that the dais gets to vote.

I think it's good that our essential workers got to chime in.

And

essentials.

I took from the whole colleague.

I thought the dais is one vote, but we counted them as three, right?

No, no.

We counted them as one collective vote because a majority, a three-to-one majority.

And then

Mike all said in and out.

Only Amelia said.

Just because Casey didn't.

My only issue is.

Even if we take Casey out, Mike has had him both.

Well, that's what I kind of think I think.

He's not a part of the Deus, though, to be clear.

Sorry.

He has been before.

No, but he's not right now.

I do believe that Casey has to be disqualified from the Deus.

I think everything you say is true, but

he did not have a proper version of it.

He had the same handles that Zeus had.

No.

This is how

it was.

This is how I would

go to my phone, put my thing, to look at the podcast app, and notice that there's still 45 minutes left in the episode.

And I'd be like, what the fuck is this?

What are they going to talk about?

It's just the two of you bickering for the whole of it.

Emma's a little too on the side of In-N-Out.

I want to check the bottom of your shoes, see if there's a John 3.16.

Wow.

I think you've been bought.

I think Emma's been bought.

I'm surprised that the guy who was at church last night,

how do you,

I mean, you're going against In-N-Out, and they are in your nature.

You are going against God.

You're choosing the devil's ice cream.

The handle.

You open that handle, it goes to hell.

My soul was cleansed last night with Ash Wednesday.

That's what happens.

The ash washes away your sin.

Well, you know what?

I think you made the mistake of?

You had empathy and sympathy for your fellow podcast.

Yeah, and you tried to pee about.

I do think he definitely made a choice to make you happy.

Oh, I think he did, but like, yeah, I don't know what the doubt is.

Don't do that, I guess.

Should have voted with what was in your heart.

What is that?

She wrote

on her.

Yeah, that's, yeah, that's what does it say?

From Laura.

Handle.

So I guess what I'm saying is, if Casey is knocked out of the vote, then it goes to another tiebreaker.

So then it's another tiebreaker in here.

Oh, yeah.

Because she had hands in the middle.

Are we just going to keep bringing people in until everyone agrees with Mitch?

So we'll stop complaining.

I think what we do is I think Casey.

You can see the foot race.

Hold on, hold on.

I got a solution.

Because we need to end this episode.

We kept our guests far too long.

I think we end this.

It's only three hours and 20 minutes.

I think we.

Casey, that hurricane.

I think this is what I was going to say.

I think that we end the episode.

I think Casey gets Casey a hurricane, and then we later get Casey's verdict after he's had official handles.

I love how

I feel like that hurricane.

I mean, I do like this.

And then it ends up.

I think it's too much power for Casey to have you know he can flop whatever because he can make a decision now i think you have to promise okay now paul makes an interesting point which is we can't empower the dais too much yeah i agree we need them to understand they are not on camera town i agree thank you zeus

in here yeah look they've already got a camera pointed at themselves what the fuck is that

The camera privilege is gone.

Having this episode, no more camera from the dais.

It's gone.

And they they have really backfired.

It used to just be you could hear them chiming in in the background, but they have their own mic.

This isn't fucking Dough Boys and Friends.

This is fucking Doughboys and Deus.

This is the Dough Boys podcast with guests, not with Deus.

All right, fine.

We'll throw that up.

Lock them up.

Lock them up.

Lock them up.

It's time.

It's the time of the program for plugs.

I want to give Casey a chance for you to plug your Kickstarter one more time.

Yeah, and also remember to pick correctly if you want that funding.

Yeah.

Yeah, go to caseymakesmovies.com.

Contribute to the Kickstarter.

And if you contribute and let me know which you prefer more, I will consider it.

Wow.

Wow, too much power.

Zeus, Sheer, any plugs?

And thank you both so much for being here.

Thank you so much.

Oh, man.

An absolute delight.

What about you?

I got yelled at for this earlier, but since he plugged his movie, I'm going to plug Coke Zero.

It's a great drink.

So how about that?

What on earth are you up to?

You're done.

You're cooked.

Yeah, I am cooked.

I'm Mirlax High.

I'm

if we're just gonna say Mirillax High.

I'll plug Invincible Season 3 on Amazon Prime.

Yeah, hell yeah.

And a lot of texts about it today.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

Some stuff went down.

And then also I will be on in a couple in,

I don't know, when is this coming out?

It doesn't matter.

In a little bit, I will be on a British panel show called Taskmaster that will be available on YouTube,

I believe, in the next month.

And the Taskmaster app, because that adds immediately.

It's great.

Yeah, Taskmaster,

it's an incredibly funny British comedy panel show.

If you don't know it, check it out.

All of the seasons are available on YouTube and the app, and I will be on season 19, and it is insanely funny.

Wow.

I will quickly say that I do a show every week now with Rob People called Watch the Dark Web, or it's a, sorry, I do a show with Rob People called Dark Web, but you can go to watchthedarkweb.com to find out how to get to it.

It's on YouTube.

It's free.

And my book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, is out as an audio book, as a regular book, whatever.

I'll say one other thing.

Yeah.

How did this get made?

On tour.

Yeah, we're on tour.

We are on tour.

Oh, I actually forgot about that.

Basically, next week, basically, yes, we're going to be in Boise and Denver and San Fran and Portland.

Austin, Seattle.

Yes.

San Francisco.

And we have a Toronto date coming up as well.

So you can go to hdtgm.com.

I can't believe we forgot about that.

Yeah.

So come see the show.

Go see there.

Go see that.

And bring us handles and bring us in and out if you can find don't bring us any food no i don't i don't want and i want to just once again recommend to you guys that you stop eating food that fans give you now by the way

now we are at 326 so now we're very close to the chucky cheese episode oh we're way over it with well

if we remove mitch's diarrhea break you can't because

diarrhea is baked in we also we also stopped the timer we did oh

i didn't yeah i saw we stopped it for his diarrhea break no we stopped for the first beat

okay

so earlier when i had diarrhea that was covered that was covered okay got it also i want to say it was pretty solid it wasn't okay got it got it got it got it just just for future use i'm gonna get this clean just so you can use it the

diarrhea break

so anytime there's a stop down needed in the future you can use that

i can't wait we can get hubel back on the pod too we are oh yeah

all right sorry

we're here now i know i

I loved this.

Oh, this is back.

I can't.

We got to get Hubble.

I canceled a conference call and supporting my friends.

I'm lazy.

I was supposed to be in my therapist's office 20 minutes ago.

I was supposed to be in Converse Science to be made.

I need this help.

You can go to church.

Go to the Atwater church.

It's very nice.

You're offering church?

You're offering church in place of therapy?

No wonder what's wrong with you is wrong with you.

It was very nice.

Number permanente.

Permanente.

Thanks, everybody.

That's our show.

We'll do it for this episode of Double Blizzard.

Next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wager.

Happy Eating.

See ya.

Goodbye.

All right, folks.

I have a Handles Hurricane here,

fresh.

from the store has not been sitting out for hours.

I got a Heath Bar Hurricane

Because Heath Bar Blizzard is my favorite kind of blizzard.

I'm going to give it a shot.

That is really good.

It's better than a Blizzard for sure.

Okay, then another bite.

This is great.

And I'm going to eat all of it.

But I don't think it's better than In-N-Out.

I'm sorry to say.

Taking a third bite here.

Yeah, this is fantastic.

I'm going to get it again.

This isn't going to be my last hurricane.

But I got to give it to In-N-Out.

Sorry.

I'm sorry, Mitch, although you voted for In-N-Out.

I don't know what this means for the tournament.

But my vote stays with In-N-Out.

Okay.

An update about halfway through this thing.

Thinking about it.

My vote's still in and out,

but it's because

I

constantly crave In-N-Out.

I want In-N-Out all the time.

It's a great burger.

It's inexpensive compared to

other burger places.

And it always hits.

It always, always hits.

This hurricane also hits, but I'm not going to crave this nearly as frequently as I crave In-N-Out.

So my vote is definitively In-N-Out.

Great job handles.

But you're not going to beat the double-double.

You're just not.

This fall, the Food and Wine Classic in Charleston returns November 14th through the 16th for three days of incredible food, wine, and southern hospitality in one of the country's most charming cities.

You'll experience grand tastings, cooking demonstrations, and beverage seminars featuring top chefs, wine and spirits experts, and the bold seasonal flavors of the Low Country.

It's a weekend built for discovery, connection, and unforgettable culinary moments.

Tickets are going fast, so head to foodandwineclassicincharleston.com to grab yours before they're gone.

That was a hit gum podcast.