Steak n' Shake 9: Slice House with Evan Susser (LIVE)

This is a head gum podcast.

Hey, buddy.

This week's episode of Dough Boys is available to watch as a live stream replay over at birdfuck.com/slash live.

This episode is not on YouTube, so the only way to see all of our bits, songs, and susser surprises is at birdfuck.com slash live.

Ah,

right, make some noise right now.

Come on, get those hands together.

Here we go for the Doughboy.

Now there's a grown-up swinging town.

This was San Francisco as described by Frank Sinatra.

The Italian-American crooner, whose partner Ava Gardner famously remarked, quote, weighed 119 pounds and 19 of those pounds were cock,

was an expert on swinging in the jazz sense, the lifestyle sense, and the literal sense, with his heavy pendulous hogs swaying with every step like a horse's tail.

But the chairman of the endowed's affection for the Golden Gate City speaks to its often overlooked Italian-American population clustered in the SF neighborhood of North Beach.

Among its favorite, among its famous Italian residents was legendary baseballer Jolton Joe DiMaggio, who, when he swung a baseball bat, must have felt like Sinatra shaking himself off at a urinal.

North Beach was also the birthplace of the important but annoying beatnik movement.

In a convergence of its ethnic and cultural identities, author Jack Kerouac, who today has a street named named after him in the district, wrote fondly of the scent of pan-fried chow mein-flavored air that blew into my room from Chinatown, vying with the spaghetti sauces of North Beach.

And if Kerouac was alive today, he would have inhaled the scents from a North Beach restaurant currently ranked among the top American pizzerias, Tony's Pizza Napolitana.

Founded in 2009 by namesake Tony Gemignani, who had become the first ever American to win the World Pizza Cup in Naples, no doubt causing distressed Italians to cry out, Mama Mia!

His restaurant's instant popularity led Gemignani to open a neighboring slice shop the next year.

That second restaurant, which offers a sampling of distinct pizza styles and invites patrons to, quote, respect the craft, would become a franchise and now has 20 locations in California, Nevada, and Utah.

Today, Italian Americans tragically still endure persecution from harmful stereotyping.

One prominent food podcaster recently derided the the entire demographic as, quote, marinara dipshits.

But the group continues to influence and enrich American life with luminaries like filmmaker Martin Scorsese, singer Ariana Grande, and activist Luigi Mangioni.

And today with this fast-growing pizza empire, you can add another name to that list, Tony Gemignani.

Seriously though, Sinatra was hung like a bronosaurus.

This week on Doughboys, we return once again to Steak and Shake via the new chain occupying its former Burbank storefront like a Paison hermit crab.

Slice House by Tony Gemignani.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

Wow.

Ho-ho-doe.

We have a fantastic show.

How are you feeling out there, Los Angeles?

We love it here at the Dynasty, and we love you all for coming out, and we love everyone who joined us on the stream.

But before we go any further, this week's roast is courtesy of the self-proclaimed Roast King.

Let me introduce my co-host, Luigi Manicotti,

the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

What's up, everybody?

What's up, LA?

So, Mitch, we're both wearing Christmas sweaters that Amelia got for us.

Mine, for our audio listeners, mine has a Santa with sunglasses looking very cool.

It says Big Nick energy yeah yours is a a very gaudy has a bunch of ornaments on it a bunch of tinsel but we should also say for audio listeners you came out wearing a Luigi hat

oh jiggity jink it's Luigi Mangione jiggity jink the Italian Assassione la la la

all right that's enough of that I didn't like you.

Everyone, Luigi Mangione got the biggest cheer over tonight.

He's still a weirdo, right?

He's a little weird.

I'm Team McDonald's.

Turn that fucking weirdo in.

Oh, fuck off.

Kill me then.

Kill me.

I'm an evil CEO.

Kill me too.

Yeah, kill me too.

I'm also an evil CEO.

We're both evil CEOs.

I like Luigi's sister.

She like...

All right, calm down, Hornduck.

She posted like a beach selfie.

He was like, I'm praying for you.

And I was just like, ohoo!

Merry Christmas, buddy.

How fun?

Marry into the Mangioni family.

Oh, we'll see.

So apologies.

She'll take my hand.

I forgive him.

Merry Christmas, buddy.

Very happy to be doing this show.

We've never done the year-end, the steak and shake show that we do every year.

We've never done this live.

This is the first time we've done this as a live show.

How about that?

Wow.

It's going to suck.

It's going to suck.

It's going to be bad.

There's probably a reason we've never done it live.

I mean, it usually gets contentious.

I'm often afraid of the best.

It always has a bad guest, too.

It's usually a running thing.

But speaking of guests, we had, Mitch, this was a bit of kismet.

We had our year-end team dinner at Lowry's.

People have been to Lowry's over the Prime Ribbons in the Tamo Shanter family.

We were there, and

sometimes the Lowry's restaurants have seasonal carolers.

Was anyone here at our Munch Madness finale?

Thank you for coming back.

So for our Munch Madness finale, we had the Voices of Christmas, a very talented Carolers, come out and open the show.

By sheer coincidence, they were working at Lowry's when we went to eat them.

So, we saw Lisa and her crew.

And how fun was that?

I don't know.

Did we tell this

on the show that one of them loved Gabris?

I don't think we said that on the show, but yeah, we won't dox who it was specifically.

But

one of the voices of Christmas.

One of the voices of Christmas wanted to fuck Gabris backstage.

I got to take a fucking shit.

And she was like, oh my God.

She was going crazy over there.

One of the voices was Randy for Gabris.

Voices of Christmas is Randy for Gabris's Mitches for Luigi Mangioni's sister.

And so we saw them and we were like, this is crazy.

What a coincidence.

They sang for it.

It was wonderful.

And we were like, here's the thing.

We did that show with the dynasty.

We've got a show with the dynasty tomorrow night.

Can you join us?

Folks, give it up for the voices of Christmas.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

You know how fucking expensive that would be?

Do you think they're going to be available during the Christmas season?

We can't afford it.

We can't afford that.

Eat shit.

Fuck you.

Fala Lala fuck off.

Sorry.

But, Mitch,

we have so much show tonight.

We have so much to get to.

I guess I'm just want to say,

how are you feeling?

Maybe we should save this for when our guest is out here, but are you in the Christmas spirit?

No.

You're feeling grumpy.

You're a little Scroogey.

I'm not Scrooge.

No, I'm not Scroogey.

Also, by the way.

Yeah.

We've talked about this a little bit.

Is Scrooge old?

He's old, right?

Is Scrooge old?

He's old.

But also, is he like 45?

He's old in the sense of someone being old.

Obviously, what the line for old is has shifted from the Victorian age when the life expectancy was, what, probably like 50, you know, like, so like, it's, it's, it's different now.

He would not be considered old, probably.

Googled it.

Scrooge is 34.

He's the age of George Costanza?

He's the age of George Costanza.

That was always a fun thing to learn, right?

When you see like Homer Simpson is younger than you.

It's like, oh, Jesus Christ.

And way, way thinner than me.

The episode where he gains weight is like when he gets to his goal weight, I'm way more than his goal weight.

It's always nice to see.

Whatever.

Ozempic will fix it.

But I think it's going to be, I think it's going to be a great

holiday show.

I think it's going to be a great end of the year.

What's what?

Spoken like a guy who loves the holidays.

I think it's going to be a great

holiday show.

Get the Christmas spirit, Mitch.

You backstage.

You warmed all us up by saying, I think it's going to be a great show, everyone.

You walked out of the room to silence.

Mitch, I actually said, I think tonight shall be great fun.

And you know what?

I think it will, too.

I think it will, too.

And I'm going to hit it right now with a little bit of a...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, before you get to the drop, Mitch.

No, because we do have to get your drop, but there was something I meant to tell you, which is that you were up in Toronto for a while.

And you had

three months up there.

You were up there for three months.

We went up there.

We did Toronto Doe.

We did a live show up there.

We visited a bunch of of Canadian chains.

It was great fun.

It was the only, if you remember Toronto, the only shows that were kind of like not taped months and months in advance.

Yeah.

Taped.

Taped.

I mean taped.

Whatever.

Same difference.

People know what you meant.

But you made a bunch of friends backstage.

Some of them we've had on episodes, some of them are on upcoming episodes that we've recorded, been a lot of fun.

And then one of them I met and got to talking with backstage.

That's right, yes.

Your buddy Al.

My buddy Al is here.

Your buddy Al, like, now you met Al in Toronto, right?

I did, yes, yep.

And you got, you were, like, spending a bunch of time, and Al's just down here visiting?

Yeah, yeah, he came down to visit, and he's here at the show.

I, I didn't, I don't, we didn't spend a ton of time in Toronto together, but yeah, yeah.

He seemed like a cool dude.

What was it?

His middle name, what was it?

E?

Yeah.

Al E.

Was it, wait, was his last name Gator?

His last name is Gator.

Al E.

Gator?

Gator?

Wait, wait, wait.

Because I remember now, like, I sucked him off.

Well, yeah, I sucked him off, too.

Yeah.

Wow.

What color was his dick?

I think it was white.

You know, at first I thought it was white, but now I'm realizing with a lightning bike there, I think it was actually green.

It was green?

It was green.

Al E.

Gator, are you back there?

What the fuck?

It's a snowgator!

Get out of here, you snowgator!

Wow!

Wise is chasing the snowgator.

He's got he's got a bite stand.

Wow.

All right.

The pet is falling off.

Wow, the Banjo-Kazooie song is playing.

Keeping your ear muffs, Snowgator.

How out of breath are you?

Bear up a little bit.

How did everyone like the best bit of the night?

That's the only one we got for you.

The one thing we put any effort into, and we almost forgot to do it.

I thought it was good that I forgot because it kind of seemed like, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it made it feel organic, right?

Yeah, it made me

organic.

Whatever.

You did good.

You were great up there.

Yeah, thanks for helping.

Not going to catch it.

We sucked him off twice.

He's light as a feather.

Wigs, it's the holidays.

What are you going to do on Christmas Day?

What's your plan?

You know what?

I'm like, we're big.

We'll go see a movie.

I love seeing a movie on Christmas.

You like doing that?

Yeah, I like seeing a movie.

Nasferatu comes out.

You know, it's one of those things where it's like, because I remember I saw.

This is also better than what I asked you.

I said, what are you going to do for Christmas?

And you said nothing just recently.

So seeing.

We have some plans.

Yeah, we'll do something.

We saw Late Night with the Devil on Easter.

Wow, and there was a big crowd, and I talked to the guy there, and he was like, Yeah, a lot of people come see spooky movies like on Easter.

That's fucked up.

The Devil movie on Easter on the day that celebrates the resurrection of Christ.

That's fucked up.

How was that?

I don't like it.

Well, we have a crowd that cheered for Luigi Manigione, and they will again.

Nasferatu, a Dracula movie.

You're gonna see a fucking Dracula movie on the day of the birth of Christ.

That's insane.

So that's the resurrection.

It kind of makes sense.

Wages, let's hit him with a drop and let's get this show going, right?

Wags, hmm.

I don't know if I can pronounce this correctly.

Uh, uh, Gochu,

Gochu Jang,

yeah, I think you're in the right ballpark.

Go to Jang, Gochu Jang, Gochu Jang, Gochu Jang, Gochu, Jang, Gochu, Jang, Gochu, Jang,

Spread their rats on New Chang, my big love dude, Gochu Chang

that was great.

Love you all.

The drop despot.

Is that how you say it?

Yeah.

It's a song about how I can't pronounce stuff and I know how to say Despot.

Or Despot.

I think both are valid.

Despite?

Fuck, goddamn it.

Despunt is fine.

Cole Mapstone.

Cole Mapstone.

Cole Mapstone.

Cool name.

Thank you, Cole.

Thank you, Cole.

Wow.

We did it.

This is it.

We're done.

This is the last thing we have to do for the year.

Oh, I think I mean you and I are done.

We did all the business we have to do for the show.

Let's get our guests out here and we can coast.

I mean, in a sense, that is what we want.

That is a sense, is what we're going to do.

You know, next year is our 10-year anniversary.

I don't know.

Isn't that wild?

Is there anyone in the building, and people are watching the live stream, you can comment as well, but is there anyone in the building who was not has not just listened to the whole catalog, but was a like a day one listener, like started listening in 2015.

Wow.

Jesus.

You know, there are other podcasts.

In fact, a lot more than when we started.

I understand there was maybe Slim Pickens back in 2015, but we have gotten people who have come up to us now and say, I grew up listening to the podcast.

Yes, yeah.

Which are the most dangerous people in the world.

That makes you feel very old, huh?

Imagine listening to our first ever Dough Boys episode having no pubes.

And then still today having no pubes.

It's a pubeless lot, our listeners.

I think Adobe Boys fans are either publishing or extremely pubey.

I don't think there's any in between.

I don't think there's not what Ovid did.

I think, yeah, pubeless, extremely pubey, or just one long, long pube.

It's one of those three.

All right, enough bullshit.

Y'all, y'all ready for our guest?

It's a good one.

No.

Hold on, hold on.

Don't say no.

This is this

mystery guest will be revealed shortly.

No, this is

a man I think sometimes I like to think of as the third doughboy.

He's certainly present for, he's been with us since year one.

He's a huge presence in the podcast.

What do you mean he's been with us since year one?

He has been with us since year one.

He's like eaten with us since year one.

Yeah, he's been a part of the show since year one.

Yeah, I guess he was on the show in year one.

We did the tournament of champions year one.

He's been a part.

He's been with us now.

He's been with us how long, yeah.

God, we got to end this fucking show.

Bring him out.

Are you folks ready for our guest?

Please welcome the commissioner of the Dough Boys Tournament of Champions, Evan Susser!

What?

What?

What do you mean, what?

We're happy to have you.

I can't believe

we've done this many shows at Dynasty, and they still have not gotten us a bigger table.

Susser is our guest on top of that, too.

It's not like it's the knife or something that can slide right in here.

It's going to be great.

Mr.

Slice is here.

We're talking pizza, Mr.

Slice's favorite food.

Susser, we've talked a lot with you on the podcast, but I don't think we've gotten in depth as much on pizza.

So I I want to start first off.

What is your favorite style of pizza?

Wow.

What?

What are we doing?

No, no, no.

This is the year-end episode.

This is take and shake.

We got a live audience.

We're on the eve of the 10th anniversary of the podcast.

Yeah.

I mean, it feels like there should be something.

I'm not saying I want to do like a Steve Jobs style like keynote presentation, but

you know what I do, actually?

That's what's happening.

Wow.

Oh my god.

Wow.

He's taking off his sweater.

He's putting on his glasses.

Susser's a black turtleneck underneath his Hanukkah sweater.

He looks just like Steve Jobs.

He's fumbling with his iPad.

Classic jobs.

Hello.

As commissioner of the Dough Boys podcast, I am honored to be speaking to you today.

As some of you know, next year will officially be 10 years of the Dough Boys podcast.

Wow.

Yeah, I know.

Wow.

We're extremely proud of that here at Dough Boys, and we'll be marking this occasion in a celebration we're calling 10 years of dough.

Wow.

Wow.

As you can see,

a picture of Nick and I, and I think mine's maybe offensive.

To commemorate this, we're introducing a new logo that celebrates the podcast's history with the original Mitch and Weiger

character design.

Now, yes,

the Mitch design does lean heavily into some offensive Irish stereotypes, but it was a different time when the podcast started.

Do I have a Billy Club?

Or a wood club?

Oh, it's a spoon.

It's a spoon.

Yeah.

Dear God.

Now, let's celebrate 10 years of this podcast.

Celebrating 10 years of undeserved success, it says.

Okay, the podcast has been featured on Good Morning America.

Yep.

And it's the 20th most popular podcast on Patreon below Just Trish.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Just Trish.

Right below there.

What is she talking about?

What is Just Trish?

Hey.

Wait,

is she with this with dolls?

Is it a doll?

I'm not really sure.

All right.

Hey, here's one for the fans.

This beloved game show gave a nod to the Doughboys in 2024.

Jeffery.

Yes.

You guys know Jeffery, the head gun stream, Jefferty that the Doughboys appeared on.

That was great.

Now,

enough on dwelling on the past.

Let's talk about some new commitments on the podcast in this 10 years of dough.

The annual vegetable month

is abolished!

Wow.

Okay, so let me hold on a second.

You did this one, like, you're going to get cheer for Isabolish, but they already cheered Vegetable Month just when it came up.

No, they booed it.

No, they booed it.

Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, they booed it.

Vegetable month.

But also, they hate Vegetable Month.

This is a straw, man, because we never said it was annual.

We did it one time.

The Frank Bank

is yanked.

Wow.

No more four months of miss talking about an upcoming colonoscopy.

Everything's all right down there.

And finally,

the Reddit

is good now.

Yes, that's right.

What?

No more making fun of the Reddit.

We want you guys in there commenting on Reddit and all social media.

Talk about what episodes you like, what episodes you don't like, speculate about people's relationship off pod.

Get in there.

Okay.

There's a lot of big 10th anniversary events coming up that I'm really excited to share with all of you.

The tournament of champions.

Of champions.

Wow.

Wow.

That's right.

We're doing a winner's bracket.

It's going to be in and out versus the Wendy spicy chicken sandwich versus Taco Bell versus Domino's.

Versus McDonald's fries versus Chipotle Sweet Green Combo.

They tied versus Dairy Queen versus Jersey Mike's versus five-layer beefy burrito.

Boom!

Now you can.

That's quite a field.

Also, we didn't discuss any of this, but all right.

That's not the only event that we have planned.

Based on this year's massive success of Toronto Dough, the Doughboys are going to a new city next year.

That's right.

It's time for

Do Lando Fest.

Wait, hold on.

The Dough Boys.

We didn't.

Hold on.

The Dough Boys.

A month-long exploration of the dining at the theme parks and surrounding areas.

Thanks for using Season 1 Mitch there, by the way.

Jesus, guys, it's Season 1 Weiger.

In the surrounding areas of Orlando, Florida, but that's not even the best part.

Doughboys pay for me to come, too.

And to be clear,

okay, I will not be a guest on any of the episodes.

It'll just be kind of a thing that's mentioned 45 minutes in.

Oh, yeah, Susser was there, too.

Free trip to Disney World.

What could be better?

She's going to feel like Orlando is a better portmanteau, but

speaking of myself.

Too late.

Too late.

I'm really excited about this.

This year, I will be unveiling the Commissioner Sweepstakes.

Here's how it works.

To enter, you have have to recruit six new listeners to Doughboys.

Once you do, you are entered into a lottery to win a trip to Los Angeles where you will have the opportunity

to buy the commissioner lunch

just like the Doughboys do.

Now I know what you're thinking, especially people here.

What if you already live in Los Angeles?

Well, then you have the opportunity to win a trip of 1,500 miles, which is the average difference of anywhere in America to Los Angeles.

So that will bring you to Omaha, Nebraska, or Kansas City, Missouri,

where you will also be able to buy me lunch.

Wow.

And we've got a lot of other really exciting things planned for this 10 years of dough.

Doughboys on tour.

Wigger won't cross an ocean, but if you live in the United States, Mitch and Wigger are coming to a town near you.

A big article.

You know how sometimes there'll be an article in

the modern times or the New Yorker celebrating a podcast.

We're going to have one of those.

A good article.

Oh, good, good, great.

Checking if I had anything from Ronan Farrow in my inbox.

Jeremy meets Wally.

Wow.

Wow.

No explanation needed.

Wow.

Wait, what about Irma?

Irma, no.

What?

All right.

Bug Main returns.

Wow.

It's a big tent podcast, and it's time to let that bug back in the tent.

Yeah.

Overdue.

Mitch gets thin.

Now, look, I want to be clear here.

It's going to happen.

I'm going to do it.

This is a body positive podcast, and I am positive.

Mitch is getting a new body in two names of this.

The scale three, the thermometer.

That's a good pitch.

It's a really good pitch.

Doughboys Kids Club.

An episode you can listen to with the whole family.

Does this tell Ron and Farrell?

Does that tie into the big article?

Saucer spin-off on fine.

You guys have demanded it.

I'll do it.

Okay.

Wasn't that Deliboy?

Finally.

Project Watchtower.

Oh, shoot.

That one's a mistake, actually.

Never mind.

Okay.

All right.

Project Watchtower.

And finally, a Doughboys album with hits.

Wow.

Such as Philadelphia Cream Cheese and You Ain't Nothing But a Hot Dog.

Wow.

This is so much fucking work.

All in all,

10 years of Dough promises to be an amazing experience for all involved.

And I could not be more proud to be a part of it.

Wow.

Huh.

Wow.

There's just one more thing.

Oh my god, he's pulling the jobs one more thing, bullshit.

A cameo from the Costco guys!

What's up, Nick and Mitch?

It's AJ.

And this message is coming out to you from Commissioner Susser.

Commissioner Susser, for sending this message to Nick and Mitch, you get a big bow.

Wow.

So big joke.

We are coming up on the 10th anniversary of Nick and Mitch's podcast.

It's called Doll Boys.

And it's a doom.

Yeah, I heard it stinks.

Yeah, the podcast is a wild.

I can't even put it on the boom either.

No, it's all the way below it.

It's like a negative.

It's like a

bum.

It's a bo.

I mean, it's really a doom, right?

It's a dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.

It's a dun-dun-dun-dun-doom.

I mean, what do they even talk about on this podcast?

Maybe a doe?

They're the doll boys.

Maybe the power will go out and the podcast won't even finish up.

I mean that great?

This one grace is a

doom.

But wait, wait.

What if before the podcast they head over to Costco and they get a chicken thing?

And a double chunk chocolate cookie.

Wow.

Maybe then the podcast will be a big boo.

All right.

Who wants a double chunk chocolate cookie?

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

I've never had one.

I've said this before the podcast started.

Emma just walked out out with double chunk chocolate cookies, as did Amelia.

Got you.

Oh, my God.

These are in Costco pizza boxes.

Wow.

This is amazing.

Thank you.

Wow.

Wow.

Commissioner Susser, wow.

Commissioner Susser, wow.

What a, what a.

Thanks, guys.

That was really something.

One more time for Commissioner Susser's keynote.

Thank you, guys.

I'm just thinking of anyone in this audience who's never listened to the new show,

how confusing this is.

What is it?

What?

They're going to Orlando?

What's happening?

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All right, so now we just sit and talk about pizza for an hour?

Yeah, I mean, that's basically that.

Yeah, well, 45 minutes or so.

We're all right.

Wow, double chocolate cookies.

You know, I've never had one before.

I should have.

Do you want to give it a snack or whack real quick?

I should.

Yeah, I should.

I should.

All right, Mitch is taking a bite.

Anyone else out there having their first double chunk chocolate cookie?

I'm also having a good job.

Quite a few of you.

Susser is also taking his maiden bite.

Some pensive chewing going on.

Thoughtful consideration from the family.

I'm my score.

What do you say, Mitch?

Boom!

Boom!

I can't do five booms.

How How does it act?

For sure.

This is very good.

So, you guys have been doing this for 10 years.

That's right.

Costco guys come in in the last year.

Yeah.

Yeah, we know.

Basically doing the same thing.

Yeah, we know.

Yeah, we know.

Lap you.

Yeah, we know.

What do you think they did that endeared them more?

They're entertaining.

They're entertaining.

They had that song.

They put work into the show.

Yeah.

Yeah, fair enough.

Or into their content?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah, there's a lot of things.

There's a lot of things going on.

The audience is not helping us at all.

They're just eating double chunk chocolate cookies, nodding along.

Yeah, it is.

They're more entertaining.

Mitch,

when do you head out of town?

Well, I don't want to tell people when I'm leaving.

And will you eat before you go on that flight?

No, I won't eat before I go on that flight.

And it doesn't matter with our schedules.

We don't need to reload a gate, Dush.

Were you going to bring that up?

You know what you're doing?

No,

I just thought it was an interesting conversation from the past year of the podcast.

Here's what I'll say.

I think this is actually our least rocky year of the podcast.

It is mostly pretty smooth sailing.

Yeah.

It is also, I went to a different country for three months.

May have helped.

You're right over there.

Stop eating the cookie talk on the fucking show.

What the fuck's wrong with you?

I should not have taken two big bites of the double chunk chocolate cookie.

It's so good, though.

It is really good.

Here's the thing.

If you get it warm, if you haven't had it warm and you have a costco membership treat yourself that's like a thing it's like i try not to do it every trip but it's hard to resist because it's so good when it's warm

you should you just yelled at about eating the cookie yeah you're having more cookies i know it looks good i want to try another bite the last time i went to costco i ordered the double chunk chocolate cookie technically double chocolate chunk cookie but it's fine doesn't matter uh

linguistics is descriptive not prescriptive i i i i ordered the double chunk chocolate cookie

i went up there and i brought my receipt because you i ordered the kiosk.

And the woman working at the counter was like, it'll just be one second.

They're in the oven right now.

Wow.

I got that some bitch straight out of the oven.

It was so fucking good.

Wow.

Wow.

I've never had a fresh one, but that was very, very good wise.

It was tasty.

It's so yummy.

But we're not talking about that today.

We're talking about a classic wise.

We're talking about a spot that we've been to many times.

That's right.

Steak and shake.

So here's the thing.

We have a trios of horror problem with the steak and shake episodes, which is that we missed a year, I think.

And so we have, we're not on the right steak and shake.

So I'm resetting it.

This is a year nine into year 10 initiative.

Wow.

This is canonically stake and shake nine.

We're just

going to line up with the podcast here.

Stake and shake nine,

slice house is the chain.

So as I mentioned in my intro, Slice House, has anyone here had Slice House?

Now, did you have?

A lot of you go today, I'm guessing.

You went because of this episode.

It's a pretty new chain.

And again, as I mentioned in the the intro, it is inhabiting the empty shell of the old Burbank steak and shake, which is why our justification for covering it.

I think, Susser, this was your pitch.

Am I correct?

Well, I think it was somebody online saying that.

A listener pitched it, which I unfortunately don't remember who.

No, I don't have credit for them.

But it's in the spot.

It's in the old steak and shake.

Was that the first one we went to?

No, it's not.

No, it's

not the third one we went to.

The first one we went to was the Santa Monica one, which shuttered years ago.

The Victorville one, I believe, which is the second one we went to, which is a proper steak and shake with a full menu and table service, I believe, is still operational.

Yes.

And the Burbank one opened and shuttered.

That was another steak and shake by Big Lari, which, if you've heard past episodes, it's the

stream-down concept, the streamlined concept that has a counter serve.

You order the counter, and the menu is much more limited.

Let's be honest, we're never going to eat steak and shake again.

I don't know if we're going to, because I think they just sort of overexpanded and they contracted, and I think they're at a place where they should just become a regional chain again.

But what I was going to say is the steak and shake by Big Larry Sinich is still up in Burbank.

So you still see it at the shopping center.

If you go to the shopping center, you see the AMC and it says Big Laurie Shake and Steak.

It's Steak and Shake.

It still is there, just hanging around.

I don't know why they haven't updated it yet.

But Slice House, like you said, has moved in like an Italian snail or something.

Yeah, like you said.

Something along those lines.

I said Hermit Crab, but good, close enough.

All right, whatever.

Same difference.

I have never even heard of this place.

I had not heard of Slice House.

This had not been on my radar until we proposed doing it for this episode.

Yeah,

I'm not going to go to Victor.

Maybe for the 10-year, we'll go to, I don't know.

Well, maybe we'll go there.

We'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

Because Stake and Shake's, it's just over for Stake and Shake, right?

Doesn't seem to be.

I think we said on the podcast that we're not doing it again.

Okay, good.

And it's over for a bit.

What does Big Larryoff do now?

I kind of miss him a little bit.

I don't know.

He's the Secretary of Transportation in the new

Trump administration.

Can't wait.

Sorry, Mayor Pete.

I do have a question for the panel on Slice House.

Mitch Susser, do you respect the craft?

Great question.

Great question.

Yes.

You do respect the craft.

Mitch?

I do respect the craft.

You're a practitioner of the craft.

What?

Is it the craft of pizza making?

I think so, yeah.

I think that's what it just says.

So here's the thing.

All the signage in the marketing says respect the craft.

that is their motto their quality

I think I respect any craft some of the other the craft I respect it I wish I had a craft

I respect the craft it's what was one of back in the day one of the movies that I would

goth girls

the craft filmed in part at my high school Long Beach Polytech really

They filmed at Long Beach?

They filmed The Craft there.

They filmed The Other Sister there.

And they filmed...

Oh, what was the other movie?

There's a third movie.

Oh, they filmed some of Corinna Corinna, which was a Whoopee Goldberg Ray Liota movie at my middle school.

Yeah, there were a lot of Long Beach filming locations.

The Long Beach Tar Pits is a sequence in The Last Action Hero.

Wow.

Well, guess what?

South Sword Plaza, we got Paul Blart Mall Cop.

Fuck, that's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

On top of that,

you can't make it.

No, you know, Washington, D.C., yeah, no movies filmed there.

All of them.

I don't know.

I don't don't really know too many movies.

So we all went in person to Slice House.

You're right.

You're right.

Susser, I think because you underlined it, the awkwardness of just doing a fucking shitty episode after

the start of how we started the show is really hitting me right now.

I have chocolate on my fingers.

The audience is quietly eating cookies.

In my mind, I was like, hopefully the audience will cheer up, like get into the show as we go.

But no, it wasn't just the cookies.

They suck shit.

Let's make them full and sleepy.

Can we turn the heat up too, please?

That would be great.

Yeah, we're doing bad.

So we all went in person.

We met Freddie and Esther outside who took our photo.

They were lovely.

Hey, if you meet Freddie at a slice house, that's kind of scary.

Am I wrong?

Nah, wrong.

What's up, bitch?

We're just getting dinner, Freddie.

Don't mind us.

He was like the fifth person who said that to us, though.

What a bitch.

That didn't really register.

Freddy always is kind of wearing a Christmas sweater.

He does have kind of a Christmas sweater.

He gets red and green.

Yeah, he is.

Prove me wrong.

Freddy's always in the season.

Yeah, he's always.

Freddy Christmas movie.

That's what I was going to say.

They never did a Freddy Christmas movie, did they?

No.

They did Fred Claus.

That's close.

They did Fred Claus.

Yeah, that's kind of its own thing.

Yeah, I guess that's close.

Oh, it's not close.

Oh, did they ever do Freddy Christmas?

His name is Fred Claus.

It's close.

It's close.

You're right.

I didn't say it's the same.

You're right.

It's close.

But a Freddy Christmas would be that would be pretty good.

Would Vince Vaughan also be in it?

Yeah, that would be fun.

He could be one of the teens down.

Or do you want to be a teen?

I don't know exactly where you are.

Do you want him to be the new Freddy?

Well, he was Fred Claus.

So, yeah, he could be Freddy, too.

I already have a death for it.

Yeah, let's hear it.

Cause this for Nutcrackers, bitch, and then he crushes crushes some guy's balls.

That's really good.

Yes.

Was that him or you?

That was me saying yes.

Okay.

Stockings were hung with care, bitch.

He likes to hang somebody.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

What else?

What else?

What else?

What else?

What else?

What else?

What else?

Noel, go to hell, bitch.

You're tanking this thing already.

I'm not going to feel guilty about this, bitch.

Hanukkah.

What?

You can have a Hanukkah.

I mean, also you can stab bones with the Hanukkah light.

No, what, what, what?

The Hanukkah torch, the menorah.

So you gave us Knishes?

Is that how you say it?

I did.

I gave you guys Knishes from Yonah Schimmels, a Lower East Side Knishery,

where my great-grandparents had their first date.

Wow.

Yeah, that was my holiday gift to you guys.

Knishes Knishes.

Yes.

Yonah Schimmels.

Oh, I thought you said Yoda Schimmels, and I was very excited for a second.

Koshesh, you are.

Damn it.

You know, Yoda is pretty Jewish-coated now that I think about it.

So.

Well, we won't get into that.

We will not get into that.

Why not?

I think

that's just a coincidence in Star Wars if anything of that stuff lines up.

George Lucas is innocent.

Wigs, we took a picture with this guy actually

at Slice House.

What was his name again?

Freddie.

Freddie, of course.

What was his name?

Well, we talked to him first, nervously trying to get away from the Jewish stuff.

And I think I did fine.

We took a picture with Freddie.

We said, hey, can you get our picture?

He said, sure.

And then he said, hey, you want to get in the picture?

And he said, okay, he didn't know what the podcast was or who we are, but he took a picture.

But then he was very helpful.

He was giving us some pointers as we went in there.

Yeah, everyone was right.

And I will say

generally this of the

experience.

Both other customers and then the workers there were doing a lot of advising in terms of what we shouldn't and shouldn't get because it's a sprawling menu and there are a a lot of decision points to make.

But I will say, this concept, having both pizza by the slice and full pies, makes sense for a mall.

It's kind of like an upscale sit-down sparrow, is kind of how it feels.

Wow.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, I hadn't thought about that.

That was really smart.

And thank you.

No, I am serious.

And it offers, so like there are four different styles of pizza they have there: New York style, grandma style, Detroit style, and Sicilian style.

Now, here's what I would say: is that grandma style, Detroit style, and Sicilian style, to me, there's not a lot of daylight between these.

They're all similar, sort of square, deep, dishy pies, but you know,

they're doing good executions of each of them.

I like the idea of grandma styles, because grandma is, you know, a grandma is fun in concept.

But they are.

Grandmas are fun.

There's this anime Dandodan, which I've been watching, and

there's a hot grandma in it.

And I was like, We need more sexy grandmas.

Why can't grandmas be hot?

Why can't we sexualize a grandma?

I don't mean my grandma or your grandma, but I mean grandmas in general.

You're getting booed.

Why are people booing?

What's wrong with a beautiful older woman?

I think it's wonderful.

I think it's great.

Mother, we must go to grandma's.

Always, just always wanting to go over and see grandma.

I mean, Aunt May was recast as kind of hot in the new Peter Parker movie.

As Marissa Tomei is like

the new Spider-Man movies.

Marissa Tomei, but I mean, Marissa Tomei is still, you know, like I, she's a very young-looking woman, but she looks very good.

So what do you want exactly?

You want sexy grandma.

You want an old, but a woman who looks old, but is also sexy.

I think it's just okay to say, like, hey, here's an older woman who's also like, we're going to present in a way where she's like, you know, sexually available.

I don't think I'd ever say this in my entire life, but I'm happy my grandparents are dead.

you can't get your fingers on them

fingers

on them

the service was super

so the servers were super friendly and I yes well two things I will say just two things I will say I asked which sauces we should get because they have a bunch of sauces and she was just like ranching a hot honey don't worry about the rest of them yeah she could have tried to upsell us she didn't now to be fair yeah I think her order was big enough that the upselling would have felt a little,

I think she tried to downsell us a couple times.

Well, no, but she's like, it's the three of you?

We were like, yeah.

And she's like, all right, because we got one of every slice of pizza on display.

That's not a joke.

And I asked if we should get pasta, and she was like, no, don't bother.

It's like a pizza play.

So we did get a few non-pizza options.

So I asked about respecting the craft.

I do have another question, which is.

Do we like Tony Gemignani?

Because I would say in the abstract, I was like, hmm, master pizza guy.

That's great.

And then you get there, and like, I was expecting a big, fat, gregarious Italian guy.

And then you go there, and he's like kind of like a badass-looking tattoo sleeve.

To be clear, it's a picture.

He's not there.

He's not there, but like, he's present in the signage.

Yes.

I don't know.

I don't like, you know, I'm against death.

People who kill people, I'm just not on board with.

Wait, who are we talking about?

Tony Gemini.

Oh, Tony Gemignani.

Not Louis.

Okay.

Yeah.

Tony Gemiani.

I I don't know.

I mean, like,

he's won.

He supposedly has won.

He's won a bunch of pizza tournaments.

I guess not supposedly.

He has won.

He was listening to the mainstream media.

I don't know how true that sign is, but supposedly he's won a few pizza tournaments.

He's won a lot of pizza competitions, and he's been working in the industry for a long time.

It was after winning the international pizza competition in Italy that he opened his first restaurant, and it was immediately well-received both critically and and among the locals.

I will say on balance, like he's kind of leaning into the badass thing, but I think that's also just kind of what you have to do

as a chef these days.

That's kind of just like what the modern idea of a celebrity should be.

Chefs have to be strong, they have to be strong and like cool.

I think overall, I like him.

And here's one thing I will say in Tony Gemini's defense: his name has Jemmy in it, which is nice.

Wow.

Tony Jemmy Niani.

Wow, that one points.

Emma is gone.

I didn't get to answer if I liked him.

Yeah, please.

I do.

You do like him, yeah.

Well, here, I did not know the full name was Slice House by Tony Gemignani, and I got a little nervous about that because it reminded me of Steak and Shake by Big Lari.

Oh, wow, yeah.

What apparently?

I don't know.

Is it going to be another similar?

Go ahead.

No, no, you go, you go.

And so is it going to be a similar situation?

And then, oh, it's a chef.

It's not the just rich guy who bought it.

Yeah, not the owner of Maxim Magazine who put his own name on the rest.

This is true, Sardar Biglari.

And if you look at modern Maxim covers, it says Maxim by Beglari, just like steak and shake.

Do I like Tony?

A little bit.

I like him a little bit.

Do I trust Tony?

No.

I trust no Italian.

I trust an Italian as far as you can throw them.

Which is hard.

They're very slippery.

That might be borderline.

Whatever.

We got to make fun of someone.

It's the Italians.

They get it.

It's true.

You're You're staring at that logo and remembering the kind of jokes you could make in 2015.

It's a different time.

So

I'll start with non-Pizza options.

We don't have to spend a lot of time on this, but I will just say we got a Caesar salad, which claimed to have anchovies, but apparently the anchovies were just pureed into the dressing.

I don't think it was particularly anchovy forward.

I did not like that the dressing came on the side when we dined in.

I would just like, you know, it's a fucking Caesar salad.

Mix that up for me.

And we got buffalo wings, which are, they were big honkers.

They were big wings.

They were.

With buffalo sauce.

They were big honkers.

And we got meatballs.

Yep.

We were recommended by

what was the guy's name who we met outside?

Freddy.

Freddie, right.

Yeah.

Freddie said to get the meatballs.

Yeah.

Did you like the big honkers or no?

How did you feel about them?

I like them.

Well, I should say that the big honkers is a thing I absorbed from Natalie.

Like, she'll say that about a big piece of of food.

It was like, oh, that's a big honker.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, that's a very good way to characterize it.

So, yeah, I just.

I feel like a big when it comes to, I got to stop saying big honkers.

Big honker.

But no, it's very useful.

Like, you see a big old onion.

It's like, oh, that's a big honker.

Look at that guy.

I don't want to get this into my vocabulary.

I don't want to.

You don't have to.

I'm just saying.

I don't want to give credit with big honkers in restaurants all the time.

I sometimes feel like a big wing is just a little too much, but I thought

these had a good fry to them.

They were good.

They were really well fried, I will say.

And they they were the one of the non-pizza options that I actually liked.

I thought the cedar salad was whatever and the meatballs were whatever.

Like, I was not impressed by either of those.

Yeah, I was surprised that the meatballs were specifically recommended because they were just kind of fine.

Yeah, the meatballs were fine.

But I liked the wings, and I will say, if the fry is good on a big honker, that's what you want.

Yeah.

And a small honker,

it can feel like I'm mostly getting bone.

It can be unsatisfying.

Right.

So I liked having the big honkers.

If you have a small honker, yes.

Getting a bone can be unsatisfying.

That felt Mitch-coated.

With a wing at a pizza place, it just has to reach a degree of competency, right?

And I think it even exceeded that.

I think it exceeded that.

I totally agree with you.

I thought those were quality wings.

Okay.

There's a bunch of different slice options.

We got all of them and we got one full pie to see what it was like to have a full pie.

Because it's different.

Someone just said, Jesus.

Jesus.

The way, well, Mitch and I both said, like, oh, and we'll get, and we'll have a full pie because it tastes different.

A full pie.

What a surprise.

The two fat guys.

You got to get the full pie, too.

Well, I don't remember who suggested it, but one of them said, because it tastes different.

And you're like, oh, yeah, of course.

We both knew immediately.

Yes.

Which is true, by the way.

It is true.

No, I wasn't.

And then we did have some leftovers.

Then I went back and I'm like, oh, we got all the slices and then we also got a full pie.

I was explaining this to my wife because, you know, it tastes different.

She's like, what are you talking about?

It does.

There's a difference between a fresh baked pie that just came out of the oven and a pie that was made earlier that day and is being reheated.

There's absolutely a difference there.

And especially since we're evaluating this place and assigning it a fork score, I think we were doing our due diligence by getting a full pie.

You know what I'm going to say?

It affected the fork score.

It did affect the fork score.

I agree.

Okay, so let's go through the slices first.

I'm going to read all the slices.

The one bit of criticism I will say is I wish they had more veggie options by the slice.

It would have been nice to have like a white with spinach or something.

They really just had a cheese and a vegetable or even like just something without pork because it was very pork-born.

Like a barbecue chicken would have been nice.

Anyway, here's what we have:

New York style pepperoni, New York style veggie, New York style wise guy, which I'll describe in a second, New York style Picante,

a grandma Angelino, which is an LA exclusive.

It is not on the national menu.

A grandma sweet Gino, a Detroit Tony Jack, a Sicilian traditional.

Detroit Tony Jack sounds like

like a good guy.

He just sounds like a guy that, you know what I mean?

He sounds like a good guy.

Tony Jack from Detroit.

Yeah, Detroit Tony Jack.

Yeah, he's one of us.

Susser is eating more cookie.

He took a huge bite.

Do you think it was just a good moment to do it?

Tony's already zoning out.

Listing all the slices.

It's a lot of information.

Let's start with the pepperoni and the veggie.

I thought the veggie was pretty good.

So it's as far as.

Can I just say it?

Can I just say it?

I don't like individual slices.

Whoa.

Wow.

Give me a fuck.

Well, yeah, I don't.

I don't like them.

You don't like a buy that.

You don't like a slice joint?

You're the slice.

Yeah, what?

Boo for fucking Luigi Mangioni and not liking slices.

Slices are.

When you get a slice at a slice shop, it's always just a little too crispy.

It's a little too well done.

I like a fresh pie.

Give me the fresh pie.

Mitch, I have to disagree with you strongly.

I mean, to evoke our friend Freddie again, the slice is right, bitch.

Buy the slice is fun because you can get a few different slices if you're an individual.

Did Freddie ever say that, or is that

you doing Freddy that you quoted?

That was me doing Freddy.

He might have said it at some point.

Sounds plausible.

No, he did not say it.

Anyway, so the, so I, I, like, if you, like, first off, yes, you want it to be a high-quality slice.

I've been, there were some really bad buy-the-slice places I went to, like, when I was in college, and they were like just bad LA, like, slice joints.

Those exist.

They exist in New York as well, but you're more likely in the East Coast to stumble upon a slice shop that can really, really, like, you know, execute a great pie.

And you can get things like, hey, I'm maybe not going to commit to a full lasagna pie, but if there's a lasagna slice, yeah, I'll get one of those.

That's fine.

Same thing with the white with spinach, which I mentioned.

Like, it's like, that's the thing.

I don't want a whole whole white with spinach pie, but if I can get one of those as a slice, that's great.

And an individual slice of cheese, how fun is that?

Pizza by the slice is one of the great culinary inventions of the world.

Thank you, America.

Thank you, susser.

Okay, you know, that's not it came from Europe.

It came from America.

It came from New York, the pizza shops, having a slice of pizza.

How else are you going to try and experiment with new flavors of pizza?

How are you going to go to a pizza place with your whole family if everyone has different tastes?

Pizza by the slice is great.

To quote Freddie again, how would you like to play a game of didle?

Like, you know, know, Dreidel, but dying.

Bitch.

I just want the audience to know that just because he's still dressed like Steve Jobs does not mean what he's saying is smart.

How many times have you walked up to a slice shop and it's kind of the anti-sabral sobaro?

Fuck.

It's kind of the anti-anti-sparrow.

Sparrow?

How do you say it?

Sparrow Sparrow.

You walk up to a slice shop, you see these slices on display.

They're dry, son of bitch, some bitches.

Sometimes they are.

They're dry.

I slice in the oven.

They're going to put it in the oven.

They're going to put it in the oven and it's going to be juicy.

Yes, that's a place that is not doing their job.

That's a place that maybe does not have enough volume to...

But that's just a slice shop you don't go to.

You go to one that does it right.

I'm saying a full pie is better than a slice.

Yeah, of course.

But if you're a guy, then you're maybe not going to order a full pie.

Fucking man the fuck up and get that pizza.

If I'm one guy, I'm on my lunch break.

I'm going to go get a full fucking pie, bring it back to the work site.

Come on.

Here's the other great thing about pizza by the slice.

Come on, where are you working?

I'm a blue collar guy in this fantasy.

We got a job at the docks.

Let's say it's like 3 p.m.

and you're a little hungry.

Sure.

I can imagine that.

Having a full pizza when it's not really a meal time would be insane.

It's chaotic, yeah.

But having like two or three slices,

totally normal and okay.

Have two or three slices, throw the rest of the pizza in your car and take it home.

Give it to your fellow dock workers.

Can you imagine walking into Satrialis and saying like,

slice shops are overrated?

And everyone goes, oh,

Toe would be incensed.

Paulie Walnuts would give you a piece of his ear.

Do you think there are any

Doughboys listeners who are dock workers?

I think there are, yeah.

That'd be great.

I don't know.

I don't think so.

I for sure think there are some doc workers.

Doughboys listeners?

I do not think so.

Unloading shipping crates.

No, I don't think.

No.

That seems too hard.

And

if you're a Doughboys listener and

you're a dock worker, right, and hashtag

dock worker.

Yeah, dope worker.

What

doke worker?

Doke worker.

Instead of doc, doe, like

doke worker.

yeah now it's good

okay i feel like if we had a dock like they wouldn't be able to lift things even with the machines

the crate's too heavy um i don't think there are any dock workers that listen to us uh at all but that's fine yeah um i look i like a full pizza and the best thing we ate at slice house was a full pizza that is correct Okay, I agree with you.

And I think on balance, a fresh full pie is going to be better than a slice that is reheated.

However, that does not mean that slice shops should not exist and pizza buy the slice is in an invalid style.

How many of those slices do you think were really good of the individual slices?

I think two.

I agree.

I think that, I think that a lot of these, but I think, I don't think this is an indictment.

Hold on.

This is not an indictment of the school of slice making.

This is an indictment of this particular execution of a slice concept.

That's the issue.

I think that this place has, they had a few too many buy the slice offerings and they were a little too similar.

I think they should have streamlined it and then maybe turned over those pies a little bit more frequently so they were a little fresher when they're reheated.

The veggie I thought was fine, but unexciting.

The

wait, the sweet Gino, I actually really liked this one a lot.

That was the one that this was a veggie pie that had sweet tomato sauce and fresh mozzarella and basil and sea salt.

I thought that was that was really yummy.

That was a grandma slice.

And then the,

oh, I had some of the Angelo.

Lynch, also, by the way, he gave his his whole rant about hot grandmas to the lady at the counter.

Where's the where's the room for our silver queens, buddy?

Here's another question: Do you think any of the slices, if you had had them as a full pie, would be good?

Would you change your mind about maybe a hundred?

Well, well, well, wait, you're just hold on, hold on, yeah, well, well, well,

do you ever see the AI generated?

Do you ever see the AI-generated hot grandmas?

Wait, hold on a second.

What?

You switch back sides?

If you're on Twitter, there's like AI-generated, it's like,

I'm 72 and a grandma, and then she'll have like, you know, like, like a, she'll, she'll, uh, um,

honkers, as you could say.

Yeah.

And then it's sad because in the replies, they'll just be like grandpas who are like, you look fantastic.

I want to take you out for a sesaparilla.

Just sad, lonely widowers.

And I might say something here and there, too.

Have you ever seen these before?

No, I haven't.

I'm off X.

The everything out.

They look good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So get on board with what you're doing.

All right, maybe I am on board with you.

All right.

I'll turn my chair away from susser, I guess.

Well, let's, I'll turn it back on you.

On on you guys.

Was there an individual slice that you thought really, really really sung, really worked for you?

I thought the simple New York pepperoni was fantastic.

That was, I think, you know, what you want from a slice shop where you just get a slice, had it, it was great.

What was,

you know, I took it, I picked it up, zero flop, one bite.

Everybody knows the rules.

And I had that bite, and I thought it was great.

I was like, oh, this place is good.

You stole Dave Portnoy's bit.

I do think that the pepperoni was decent.

And there was another pepperoni that was on like a Detroit or grandma style slice that I thought was good.

Yeah, that was the, I believe, the Sicilian traditional.

It was what they call their traditional on the Sicilian style.

It was just a pepperoni and sausage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You like that one.

Is that it?

Were there no other notable slices?

Not really, sadly.

You didn't like the sweet Gino.

I thought that one was

the fresh margin.

That was good.

That was also suggested to us by Fred from Freddie, right?

Yeah.

The sweet Gino was good.

And I I think we did, and this speaks kind of to our fault and also,

you know, what you spoke to, a lot of the slices kind of felt the same.

Yeah.

100%.

Kind of like a mesh of like, I kind of liked all of them, but they all were like, oh, this one has this meat and this cheese, but they were all basically feeling more or less the same.

That's what I think the issue is.

Like, I don't think they should have, what is it?

Was it seven?

Is it nine?

Nine.

I think it's nine different slices that they had available.

I like, I don't think they need to have that many pies, especially if the differences between them are going to be be so granular.

I would just say like maybe a half dozen are available and maybe they're just a little bit fresher and a little bit more diverse.

I'm going to say something controversial.

Please.

I think hot honey can buzz off.

Wow.

I don't want it with my pizza.

I do think it's been overplayed.

I do think it's kind of like we're kind of at the phase where like, you know, they were doing the bacon desserts a little too often.

I feel like hot honey is kind of like a version of that.

It's like we're just seeing it too often.

But I do think hot honey does work well with pepperoni.

I don't want to, don't want to get sticky with my pizza i'm sticky enough as is

i don't need oh i'm gonna have a slice of pizza now i'm fucking sticky no thank you i'll do that looking at these grandma ai generated things

i don't need i don't need honey added to the pizza hot honey is situational and it's it's a bit overplayed i'm still i'm still a bit of a defender but yes it's and i i honestly think we're gonna see if we haven't already seen it i think we're gonna see like jack in the box and like you know carls junior hardies are gonna have hot honey items next year it's just it's just like it's we're we're at that point in the cycle.

Does dominoes not have like hot honey?

I don't know if they do.

They might.

Is it true the first?

Never mind.

Is it true the first hot honey came from a beehive near a volcano?

Is that where the first hot honey came from?

I believe that is true.

See, it sounds really smart.

It worked on me.

You were right to stop yourself from saying it.

I'm fucking trying here, man.

You're doing great.

Okay, let's talk about the cheese.

I think it's going pretty good now.

Yeah.

I thought the cheese was great.

I really, really liked that full cheese pie.

That was delightful.

Yeah, it was like platinum.

We also love it now.

We had a lot of show numbers behind you guys, and we're seeing them dip up and down.

They went way up with the hot grandma talking.

Way down on the hot honey.

I'm done with hot honey, but there wasn't a ton of slices that had hot honey.

Honestly, it was just, I think, maybe one, right?

Yeah, and there was some hot honey for dipping, which really didn't really have a place.

I didn't find it had a place for it.

Dipping a little bit of dry crust and hot honey doesn't really do anything for me.

But I think you said, yeah, when we got the full pie and you,

Mitch, you took a bite and you were like, oh, it reminds me of childhood.

It was like the ratatouille moment.

Yes.

My pube sucked into my body.

I had a little spinny cap on.

And

I was thin again.

Sorry, let me sit in that for a second.

Mitch, as we learn from the presentation in the PowerPoint, you're going to get thin again this year.

What exactly is thin, quote-unquote?

I don't know what you mean.

I would be pretty liberal with that definition.

Thin, quote-unquote.

I just don't think it's going to happen ever.

Well, you know what?

A few of those promises made in the PowerPoint might not actually happen.

I'm just going to be honest with people.

Of Of the sauces, I did like the ranch, and I thought the blue cheese was, which we did some dip in with the wings, was pretty good.

I thought the blue cheese was good.

I thought the ranch was decent.

Very solid.

There was a sauce.

Well,

we can get into it, I guess.

There was a white, creamy...

Well,

let's get our final version of the cheese, and then we'll get to the equivalent of the shake

half of the menu, which was our desserts.

But yes,

I think the cheese was delightful.

I took a couple leftover slices home to Nali, and she ate them immediately, and she liked them.

Jamie was also also quite pleased.

I didn't bring any slices home.

I gotta say this, too.

Them slices were big honkers.

They're really big snakes.

They're really big slices.

Big slices, yeah.

Irma ate a bit of a chicken nugget last night.

That's cute.

Yeah.

Did she like it?

I went to McDonald's.

Okay.

Just to get Irma chicken nuggets.

I'm still sticking to the thin thing.

And

she's never eaten it before.

Did she eat it with the skin?

I pulled the skin off and she started to eat the chicken nugget.

Yeah.

And then she barfed like 30 seconds later

it's the truth she did but she liked she did eat it she never eats human food wow um

yeah the the slices were were gigantic and if if like uh one like honestly two slices of that big pizza we would be good that was the big thing once we we got all these slices and we're like at first i was like oh okay i would think the three of us were all big eaters we can we can take these down and then very quickly we're like there's no fucking way we're gonna eat all these slices this is this is way too much food for three individuals

okay so we got some desserts we went back up and we ordered some desserts.

We got cannoli, which are housemade cannolis.

Cannoli.

Hey, how about that?

What's more Italian than a cannoli?

They had a housemade ricotta and marscabone filling.

And we also got gelato.

Their gelato is pre-packaged from April.

All of us broke spoons in the gelato.

Spoon breakers, I put in my notes.

The gelato, there was no way to pierce that with a spoon.

All their plastic spoons snapped.

We had to use wooden.

There were little wood spoons.

Yeah, we'd use little wooden mini spoons.

I mean, the gelato was just like whatever.

It's just packaged gelato.

It It was a good quality, but it was just kind of like I'm buying, you know, effectively like a pint of Ben and Jerry's from a restaurant.

Why am I doing this?

Yes.

I thought they were decent.

I thought they were decent.

It was decent ice cream.

And

it felt like it was one of those things because when I ordered it from the guy and I was like, oh, what's the gelato?

He was like, kind of looking around because it seemed like a thing that nobody ever ordered.

And he was like trying to figure out what it was exactly.

He was trying to find it?

No, he was like kind of like, I think it's like it comes at a cup or something.

And I was like, how big is it?

And I was like, I think it's like a pint.

But he wasn't quite sure.

I was like, oh, this seems as a thing that they, you know, you're at a restaurant and you can kind of tell, like, this is a thing they feel like they have to have, not a thing they actually are putting their heart into.

That said, the cannoli felt like it was like presented as like their signature dessert.

And I will say this: the sliced house cannoli is one of the worst things I ate for the podcast in the entire year.

It's fucking

awful.

The cream had turned.

Absolute dog.

The team, the horrible.

I'll say this.

You and I were both like, oh, oh my God, what the fuck?

Then Susa was like, what are you guys talking about?

You did not notice at all.

I did not notice, and it honestly made me concerned.

And I was like,

is something wrong with me?

The cream, I think, had turned, wages.

The cream had turned.

It tasted like...

We got to get the gunk out.

There was too much.

It was old cream or something.

It tasted like old cream.

It tasted like cottage cheese inside of it.

It just was not the right...

You know, it was like it had like a sourness to it.

It was really unpleasant.

It was awful.

I also, it's noteworthy that, you know, we said all the everyone who worked there was really friendly.

Yeah.

And someone came up to us and said, how do you like everything?

And Mitch, you were honest, he said, everything was great, except for the cannoli.

And the guy was so quick to be like, yeah, I've never eaten the fucking cannoli.

Yeah, he did.

He did quickly.

He's like, I'm Italian.

I love cannolis, and no way am I eating this cannoli.

I said, I said, I said, the cannolis weren't that great.

And then I did say to him, I was like, I don't know why I told you that.

And I started talking for like five minutes.

Spiraling out to this man.

So there was a chocolate chips, sprinkles, and pistachio.

Those were the three varietals.

I mean, sprinkles is kind of birthday.

You know, I like birthday flavors.

I was excited for birthdays didn't work.

And the chocolate chips, like, I don't know, the toppings didn't even matter.

Because it was like, you know, it was like putting caramel on top of a turd.

Like, who, like, this is nasty.

Love the flavor, hate the event.

That is very interesting with you.

You just don't care about birthdays.

Your own, mine, Jesus's.

None of them matter to you.

Not a birthday guy.

If a birthday is important to somebody else, then yeah, of course I'll recognize and acknowledge that.

But for me, I'm not like a birthday person.

But you love that flavor.

I thought it was fine.

I liked the chocolate gelato or the chocolatey one that we got.

Yeah, I thought the gelato were fine.

There's no reason to order gelato from a slice house because probably at whatever shopping center you're at, there's just an ice cream place you can.

I honestly go, we'll go.

I feel like a pizza place, I don't think an expectation of dessert exists.

I think if any of you would have said, oh, do you guys have any desserts?

And they said, oh, no.

I think it would have been like, oh, okay.

Or if they're like, hey, yeah, we got cookies, which they do have cookies.

And they're like, hey, you know what?

We just have cookies.

Oh, like packaged or even packaged cookies.

Packaged cookies.

That's all we got.

I genuinely was wondering if all my bad talk about Italian came back in the form of those cannolis.

It is possible.

They were hard.

Yeah, one of the one of the worst things we've ever eaten on the show.

Yeah.

I thought they said, okay.

Yeah, I was.

I'm pretty sure you maybe have COVID now.

I don't know what was going on.

You were fine with it.

Man,

Mike Dorfman, do you remember the other night?

Yeah.

When we were on the, he told me the other night that I gave him COVID, he revealed to me for the first time.

Two and a half years ago.

Two and a half years ago, and I was crushed by it.

Yeah, I laughed for a minute straight.

That's true.

Yeah.

When we did the live shows at, where did we do it?

We were in the

Connecticut and in Boston.

And you found out you had COVID afterwards, and Mike never told you that you had to.

And you so proudly proudly said, and I didn't give it to anyone.

I gave it to Ramondi kissed me as John Adams, and I gave it to him.

But then that was it.

And we did two meet and greets.

We're super spreaders.

We spread joy.

There you go.

Anyway, that made me really sad at the Doughboys holiday, the final dinner of the Doughboys.

The last supper of the Doughboys.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would never order the desserts again from Pizza Place.

I do think it's Ungopaschkewags.

I don't know if I'd

do it.

But I did really enjoy the cheese slice of pizza I liked a lot.

Any other thoughts on the menu?

Should we get to fork scores on this bad boy?

All right, so a susser, you know the podcast, you know how this works.

Steak and shake nine, sliced house one.

Oh, your final

one.

Steak and shake nine, slice house the one is the thing that gets me.

You think we're going back?

Is it going to be like steak and shake 13, slice house two?

That sucks.

We don't necessarily need to always pair slice house with steak and shake.

No, I know.

I know.

That could happen in the future.

Maybe now we should just do that in four years.

Maybe we will do it in four years.

Susser, your thoughts, your fork score.

So

I was very excited by this place because I think they, though I was not able to articulate it, I do think like a slightly plussed up sparrow is kind of what this is.

It's kind of like just as Dave's hot chicken has taken like the chicken craze and kind of made it like, oh, now it's a chain.

They kind of did that with these kind of, you know, New York or LA cool pizza places and it's a chain.

It seemed like you go in, get cool slices of pizza.

And I did really love the cheese pizza, but.

The cannoli and the all the slices just kind of coming together for me.

And I don't know where you guys are going to land,

but I would put this at 3.99 forks.

Wow.

It's just, for me, it's just a little bit

short of, you know, that golden plate club territory, which I know when we do these live shows, there's always more fun for it when it just says five forks and everyone gets excited.

Yeah, they're not excited.

But I think.

And so for you,

the difference between getting our audience energized was 0.01 points.

Yes.

That you couldn't give the price.

I just can't.

Wow.

And I think that, but I don't think that's a bad thing because I think it's aspirational because you're so close to greatness.

You think don't, what is his name, Tony?

Jiminyani.

Jiminyani, when it comes to Steak and Shake 13, Slice House 2, maybe they'll be there.

Wow.

Wow.

Okay, fair enough.

Mitch, I'm going to go next.

I want Mr.

Slice, a person whose favorite food is pizza, to take us home.

I enjoyed my experience with Slice House, though I will say, as someone who doesn't eat pork, I felt a little excluded from a lot of their menu offerings.

Now, I will admit, and this is the thing I do.

You ate pork that night.

That's what I was going to say.

Also, you're the one who doesn't eat the pork.

Isn't that surprising?

I didn't say it.

And pizza, like pizza is one of those foods that doesn't necessarily need meat to be good.

They're good meat pizzas, but it's like, if you're going to offer a bunch of slice options, especially in a city with a lot of people who, you know, have different diets, maybe have just a few more veggie options or meat-free options, or again, like I was saying, just something with poultry

instead of pork.

But

I think on balance, the pizza is well executed.

And I do believe in Mr.

Gemini's pedigree, does seem like an extremely capable pizza chef.

And I think this concept is very solid for where it is is right now within its first, you know, decade of existence.

I think this is a place that could get very good

or could overexpand and could be a place like, you know, when we ran into all these Fran Smart chains, these Fran Smart is a company that does franchising, these companies that partner with chains, with local chains and try to take them nationwide.

If it scales up too quickly, I think it's going to collapse under its own weight.

Thankfully, it doesn't seem to be doing that.

So

I think that good pizza, the rest of the stuff doesn't matter, but how much does the rest of stuff even matter?

The rest of the stuff wasn't good, but how much does the rest of stuff even matter at a fucking pizza shop?

I'm going to go three and a half forks.

I think that's where I land here.

Three and a half forks for a slice house.

Jesus Christ.

People are checked out.

Did anyone?

I have a question.

You can just yell it out.

What's the verdict on the double chunk chocolate cookie Snacker Whack?

Boom.

They're yelling boom.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

They're saying boom.

I asked Snack or Whack and asked Boomer Doom.

Hmm.

They wish we were the Costco guys.

And you know what?

So do I.

You wish we were the Costco guys?

I would be your son.

Or he would be your son.

I don't like that either.

I think I'm AJ.

I know.

You always say you think you're AJ.

Do you think you're AJ?

Why am I Big Justice?

I just kind of think of like their

don't answer that question.

I think in terms of their

roles

in their content, right?

It's kind of like, you know, it's AJ's the driver, and then a Big Justice is.

He's forced into doing it.

Yeah, I agree with that.

All right, Mitchell, what's your question?

I wish I was the Rizzler, but I know I'm like the mom who's like off screen.

You're the Rizzler?

Okay, thanks.

He's the Rizzler.

Amelia's a Rizzler.

Okay.

Fair enough.

Emma said yeah from offstage.

Sorry, sus.

Jury has spoken.

All right, go ahead, Mitch.

Well,

I think that

Tony Gemignani is one of those, probably one of the CEOs who's safe, I'm guessing.

Just because he's Italian.

He's probably, you know.

Right.

They don't go after their own, you know?

That's not true.

They kill each other all the time.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

Wait a minute.

All the time?

They're crazy.

They're crazy.

Look, I love Italians secretly.

I love pizza wise.

It's my favorite food.

That cheese pizza is good.

It's a great, great pie, I thought.

When we sat in there and we had it,

I really enjoyed it.

But maybe people don't agree.

How do you guys feel about Slicehouse?

Wait, hold on.

Boom or doom?

Doom.

Doom, yeah.

Wow.

A lot of dislike for Slicehouse.

Look, you're at AMC.

You just saw, I don't know.

Sonic the Hedgehog 3.

You just saw Sonic the Hedgehog 3.

Alright, so so far, the big pops tonight have been for the Costco guys, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Luigi Mangioli.

Yeah, that's about right.

You just left you left Sonic 3.

You're on a date with some grandma.

You pop into Slice House.

Explain to her who Knuckles is.

Well, I hope you're saving some Knuckles for me.

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah.

Grandma's horny.

Knuckles are going to get dry tonight.

Oh, that was that much worse

that a grandma's pussy is dry is that much crazier than putting a knuckle in the pussy?

Oh, yeah, I went over the line.

Fuck you guys.

I wore a Luigi cap for you motherfuckers.

I can't believe Voices of Christmas didn't want to come back.

They did not recognize us at all at first, by the way.

We were like, we're the doughboys.

And she's like, ah,

shaking her head.

No idea what the fuck we were talking about.

I gave enough context where she remembered.

Yeah, you were like, we paid you to come and sit on the stage.

It was a comedy show.

Yes, I remember that.

I like the money part.

Well, we're going to make a joke that you're back at the second show, and everyone's going to be sad that you're not.

Anyways,

I

you're

where were we?

Were you knuckling the grandma?

And

you go into Slice House and you get yourself a slice of cheese that's fresh out of the oven.

Yeah.

A full pie.

You get one of those guys.

Yeah, full pie.

Or you get a full pie.

Or you say, is there a fresh one?

I'll wait.

That's what you say.

Yeah.

Because they don't hate a guy like that.

I'm happy.

You know what I mean?

I just saw Sonic 3.

I love the direction they took the Sonic franchise.

And I'm eating pizza.

I'm just.

That was a nice element.

I of like seeing all the advertising for Sonic 3.

Oh, let's eat at this fucking pizza place for Steak and Shake Nine.

It was kind of hanging over your head as you were there with the Doughboys.

I'm sorry.

Which is the better path.

You're with us.

Yeah, it's true.

Yeah.

Yep.

It's a different path.

It's a different path.

I think that you could do a lot worse than that.

It beats a Sparrow.

It beats a lot of different.

We kind of like Sparrow, too.

We didn't even hate Sparro.

But that cheese pizza put it into into just the four-fork category for more marks.

But it can't get into the Golden Play Club because these guys.

So sorry.

That's it.

They're not disappointed.

They don't like it.

They don't like it.

And they also don't care.

They don't care about this chain.

This is a bad topic.

We thought it was a good topic.

I think it was a good topic, but ultimately, I think this is the kind of place that people just don't have an opinion about.

Because it's new on the scene.

It's too new.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'll see what happens.

We'll see what happens.

We'll track its career.

This is kind of like the Gollum moment in Lord of the Rings 1.

Yep.

Where you just kind of see Gollum a little bit, and

his story will come into play later.

Yeah.

That's kind of like Slice House here.

No, good analogy.

I agree.

So be prepared.

We got two great other Slice House shows coming up.

All right, that was our review of Slice House for Steak and Shake Nine.

Again, no big blow-up.

Going pretty smooth.

You didn't get into it.

I mean, the one thing he brought up, we did start fighting about

the airplane thing.

So he didn't really, he didn't needle us as much this year.

Should have been needled more?

No, I know.

It would be fucking awful to watch 200 people watch us just fight each other.

Whatever.

Maybe it would be fine.

They want it.

Never mind.

They want us to fight each other.

Cry, cry, cry, cry.

All right, it's time for a segment.

It's the return of an unsatisfied Yelper.

Wow.

That's right.

I have collected one-star Yelp reviews of the Altoona, Pennsylvania McDonald's, where United Health CEO shooter Luigi Mangioni was arrested.

I'm Team McDonald's.

How could you not take McDonald's sides?

They're so good to me.

I don't like the idea of celebrating, you know, murder of CEOs because, you know, I kind of consider myself the CEO of Doppler.

I don't want any of these freaks getting any ideas.

All right.

Liz S.

writes, all the food tastes like snitches.

Wow.

Fries, snitches.

Burgers, snitches.

Nuggets, snitches.

Overall, really not enjoyable.

Damn.

Didn't really stick the landing there.

Overall, not enjoyable.

He used a little more punch of the thing at the end.

Yeah.

They should should end with the snitches thing, too.

Austin C.

writes: Rats in the kitchen, cooking the food and taking orders and everything.

It's like ratatouille, except it's not fun.

Entire place run by rats.

Damn.

Yeah.

People are not happy.

Austin C.

Wish was Austin B.

JS writes.

I got it finally.

JS writes.

I wish it was S Austin.

Fuck.

SC.

S-C-S Austin.

Still called Steve Austin.

JS writes.

Why you would do this to a Luigi?

He's a nice boy.

He never hurt almost anyone.

Mama Mia.

Perfect.

Yep, good.

People love this guy.

And they're thirsty for him, too.

Can we have him on?

Does Luigi Mangioni make the McList?

We have a big episode.

Yeah.

We can review Hash Browse.

You read a bunch of different stuff.

That's good.

You read a bunch of stuff about this guy.

One detail that I found out is that his middle name is Nicholas, which is my first name.

Wow.

Yeah, his full name is Luigi Nicholas Mangioni.

Wow.

And my full full legal name, of course, is Nicholas Frank Weiger.

And sometimes I go by Frank, which means it's time for this week in Hot Dog News in a holiday edition of Let Me Be Frank.

Hot dog, simmer in the city.

Great of my grill getting greasy and pretty.

Toast bone, don't it look pretty?

Sucking on a dog like a sucking on a titty.

Pork and beef, sausages and long bread, rolling on a roller grill, mustard, and relish.

One bite is a different world.

Swap dog bites with a girl.

Munch on, munch on, and chomp all night.

Just buy the parts, it'll be alright.

That taste when the casing has snapped.

Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap.

As it simmers in the city, like you're sucking on a titty.

You ain't nothing but a hot dog,

frying all the time.

You ain't nothing but a hot dog.

Frying all the time.

You ain't never been a burger, and you ain't no luncheon mine.

Well, they said you were a sandwich.

Well, that was just a lie.

Yeah, they said you were sandwich.

Well, that was just a lie.

It's just a fun around a winery, so you sure don't qualify.

Wow,

you

will

eat

Frankfurter.

You're gonna eat Frankfurter.

I'll teach you to heat the dogs made from beef and hogs, little ways to sear and steam.

Oh, all the condiments, chili, cheese, onions,

everything that really counts to eat Frankfurter.

I know about Frankfurter, and with an assist from me to eat what you'll eat instead of hangry, who you were, well, there's nothing's gonna stop you from chomping on a Frankburter.

Er.

La la

hot dog.

Gonna eat a Frankburter.

Spirit.

the name on the scrape, it says Frank.

Oh, please, spirit, no.

Why would you show me this if I was past all hope?

I will honor Frankness and try to keep it all the year.

I will live my life in the dog, the bun, and the mustard.

Oh, spirit, please speak to me.

I'm home.

I'm here.

It's a miracle.

You!

You, young podcast producer.

What day is today?

Today?

Why?

Today is Doughboy's Live Show Day.

Doughboy's Live Show Day, then I didn't miss it after all.

Do you know old man Wiener Schnitzels?

You know that award-winning dog in the window?

You mean the one that's twice as big as me?

Yes, yes.

Go and buy it.

Take the Doughboy's credit card.

Wait a minute.

And hey, happy Frankmas.

With a frank full heart, with a fluffy bun, with a growing belly when the meal is done.

With a bun and some meat to bing.

Bun and some meat to bing.

Bring those dogs, franks, and brats to me.

Dogs, franks, and brats to me.

Yes, and every frank we see, we'll put in our grocery cart, and we'll buy them all with a frankful heart.

Life is like a podcast,

who knows when it ends.

And if you want to know the measure of a host, you simply count his listeners,

stop and look around you.

The hot dogs that you see,

they're made again each day.

Don't let them slip away.

How tasty Franks can be

with a frankful heart as my hot dog bakes.

I do make this promise with every bite I take.

Will be used now to sing Frank's praise.

Used now to sing Frank's praise.

As you sit and eat franks for days.

Sit and eat franks for with a Costco guarantee

that even if I shart,

I will eat one more with a frankful heart.

I will eat one more with a frankful heart

hot dogs, Costco hot dogs for everyone.

Yes, three-hour-old hot Costco hot dogs.

We have 60 of them, so split them in three.

But but wait, Uncle Splooge,

whatever happened to Tiny Frank?

Tiny Frank?

Well, he lived, and then I ate him.

The end.

The end.

Okay, Mitch is gonna Google hot dogs and I'll use my preferred search engine, Microsoft Bing.

Mitch, is there anything we should do for a holiday, from a holiday standpoint here?

Maybe hot dog Christmas, hot dog holiday?

They taste like cold hot dogs.

So cold.

I'm not going to eat one.

They taste like cold hot dogs.

They're bad.

They're bad.

There is a microwave back here.

We can microwave them.

If you guys want to start alive, we'll just start microwaving a hot dog dog.

It's a shame shame because no one knew that they were going to be cold and people wouldn't be that excited about it.

Didn't come up in any conversations.

Look, I'm not that worried.

I think that our listeners will eat the cold hot dogs.

This is one of those.

It's good.

That's what we just heard from the audience.

I'm going to search holiday hot dog.

One of these things that,

you know, I think we've all experienced this of like you open your browser and you forget what the last thing you had open in a tab was.

Yes.

I had an open search for Forrest Tucker, who is the actor who,

the Talking Simpsons, Henry Gilbert, told us about the F-Troop star who had a famously huge hog.

To be clear, we talked about that months ago.

The last thing I had open was like

a reading about a celebrity with a big dick who died in 1986.

But let's look at Hot Dog Christmas.

They used to have a Milton Burl hog in Saturday night.

Yeah, he doesn't.

Just the shafts.

You see a little base of the shafts.

Okay, I searched for Hot Dog Christmas on Bing News.

Sam's Club debuts Holiday Hot Dog Monstrosity, and you could top it with anything.

I'm looking at this right now.

Is that candy corn on it?

It looks like it, yes.

They've given their popular hot dog a holiday makeover, introducing the holly dog.

The holly dog is a limited time twist on their dog, putting a combination of Thanksgiving and Christmas toppings all in one bud.

Club Mashup, which has mashed potatoes and Christmas cookies.

Something Sweet has pumpkin pie and candy canes, and Season Meetings is both turkey and prime rib, all on top of a hot dog.

The last one is the only one that sounds actually like food.

The other two are just like disgusting.

These are awful.

I don't like these.

Did I get to do one too?

We found the tasties hot dogs in every state.

I should look up California in a second here.

But also, hot dog eating champion Joey Chestnut named Holiday Bowls honorary chairman.

That's nice.

How fun is that?

He's a hero.

We should get him on the pod in 2025 at some point.

I'd love to talk to Chestnut.

Did you do anything wrong to Chestnut?

I hope not.

Whatever.

I don't think so.

But also,

no one's doing that anymore.

We're fine.

We're fine.

It's 2025.

Trump's going to be back.

I'm just going to mad over us having a podcast guest.

We are so, so sorry for having Joey Chestnut on the podcast.

We're sorry.

We'll donate to Amnesty International.

This article,

you can file this one under bad timing.

Hot dog chain Portillo staffs its restaurants with corporate employees during the holiday.

So the CEOs are over there working at Portillo's.

Wow.

About a week before Luigi Maggioni thing went down.

I would not feel very happy about that if I was a Portillo's CEO, which is my dream job.

Here's one.

This is from, I know,

if I was the Costco CEO, I know what I would do?

What's that?

Raise the prices of the dogs.

Mitch.

This was a time.

I get you, boomer, but for me, it would mean more money.

This was actually, he had a famous memo, which we talked about on the show, where he told, he was basically like, if you raise the price of the hot dog and soda, I will kill you.

It's like, that's a thing we do.

That's what we're known for, $1.50, figure it out.

They ended up producing their own dogs.

They switched from using Hebrew National to producing their own in-house dogs.

And they taste pretty damn good.

Am I right, audience?

This is from the Daily Record, which is, I believe, a UK publication.

I tried pigs and blanket from four supermarkets.

The worst felt like cat sick in my mouth.

Pigs and blanket are a staple part of Christmas dinner, but the taste can vary depending on where you buy them from.

Here's how we rate the four supermarket pigs and blankets that I tried.

Where are we on pigs and blankets?

I like them.

I think they're fun.

I love them.

Yeah, they're really good.

You know what?

I like the food and the idea of a pig being a blanket.

Also very cute.

That is really cute.

The winner was...

A little Christmas pig?

That is.

Is that a little Christmas pig?

I love that.

The winner was Marks and Spencer.

They should make up a Christmas.

Like, I feel like they could bring back the babe franchise and make a Christmas babe.

People would like that.

Ooh, Christmas babe is good.

Sainsbury says, a greasy processed disaster.

This option shattered my assumption that all pigs and blankets are more or less acceptable.

Sainsbury's pigs and blankets are a sensory nightmare, oozing with oil and excessively processed.

The unpleasant taste isn't the first thing you notice.

The awful texture hits you first.

One bite and a scorching layer of grease coats your mouth, lingering even after you hastily grab a paper dowel to dab at the oily residue on your

lips.

One out of ten.

Gray's Gray's papaya warmed up.

I took a closer look at the sausage itself, which is so smooth it's reminiscent of cat vomit.

Not the chunky kind that comes up immediately after eating, but a well-digested kind that appears hours later.

Why is there so much shit about cat stuff in the past?

I don't know what's going on.

And I have these 14 pets celebrating Hanukkah are the cutest things we've ever seen.

And it's dogs, because I googled

Hanukkah hot dogs, and it was just dogs dressed.

That guy's a little cute.

He got a Yamuka, and that's okay.

Anyway.

Worst cooch.

Worst cooch.

Worst cooch.

Verse cooch.

I think I said it wrong.

I think there's a little bit of verse coocha.

I think there's a little coocha on there.

Verst coocha.

Okay, that seems less dirty.

Los Angeles, California won best dog.

That's what they said.

That's the best dog in California state.

Yeah, they do it proper there.

I honestly think people would, we get

from that reaction.

If we'd reviewed Verse Kucha instead of Slice House, we would have had more of an audience engagement tonight.

But what are you going to do?

Look, we know we fucked up.

We fucked up.

But did people understand that the Slice House was at where one of the steak and shakes was?

I think people were able to put that together.

Okay.

And that didn't get people much more.

Yeah, I don't think it was just like enough of a hook, unfortunately.

I thought we were good once we thought of that.

One of the steakhakes, which again, we didn't think of.

Somebody suggested it online.

All right.

One of the steak and shakes we went to was now a different restaurant.

That's pretty wild.

I wonder what the Santa Monica one is.

Don't go over that one.

We'll do it next year.

Yeah.

Mitch, give us one more.

Hot dogs in heaven.

What is this about?

Whoa.

Weird Al's parody of Eric Clappin' song.

Yeah, Weird Al.

That was kind of in poor poor taste.

Come on, weird Al.

I'm going to change it about.

Instead of it's about his dead son, it's about a fucking hot dog.

Would you chew my dog?

If you saw it in heaven?

Oh, Santa Claus visits hot dog heaven in Anaheim.

That's what it was.

I searched Santa.

Santa died.

Santa's alive.

Santa is alive.

I didn't knock him off my roof.

I'm not slowly turning into him.

Remember the end of Batman v.

Superman, Dawn of Justice, where they actually fucking kill Superman.

That was awesome.

Yeah, that is.

And then they have like the statues of him and shit.

It's so fun flyovers.

It's so good.

I thought you were going to say Santa makes an appearance in there somewhere.

I was just thinking, like, can you imagine the global

response to Santa died, or just like, okay,

Santa died, it would just be like a world tragedy.

That'd be horrible.

Yeah, yeah.

Why do you even bring it?

I don't know.

I just like, I hadn't even thought of the death of Santa until you just brought it up.

Oh, interesting because Santa's kind of the CEO of the North Pole, but you guys cheer that people.

Interesting.

Okay, well, what if I fucking kill Santa?

You guys will cheer that?

They would.

You would?

They would because they know the Santa Claus applies.

And you you don't have much morphin to do.

I slim down.

Oh, shit.

Oh, Mitch looks great.

Hog gets bigger.

You know Santa's packing.

Oh, you know Santa's packing.

He's knuckling Mrs.

Claws.

The ultimate hot grandma.

She's kind of the hottest grandma.

She's the hottest grandma.

All right.

Hey, just like a restaurant buyer feedback.

And hey, we're going to take some, let's open up the feedback.

We're going to take three audience questions.

Emma Ertbrick, everyone.

What's up?

Amelia's here, too.

Amelia's here, too.

Amelia Marino, everyone.

We forgot to send ask for chewing before the show, so we're just going to take them live on the spot.

I can see a lot of chewing.

It seems like people gave up on those hot dogs pretty quick.

All right, so one person raised his hand.

He's still going.

All right, get away.

What was better, the hot dog or the cookie?

Yeah, the cookie's going to be better, of course.

All right, good.

All right, so

Emma and Amelia are in one of the two aisles.

If you have a question for us, go ahead and raise your hand.

Keep mind, we are not going to do bits on command.

So if your question is, will you do that bit?

Everyone's hands went down.

I will not give you the microphone.

I saw this hand first, so I'm going to pass it here first.

Five fork Hanukkah food.

Wow.

Wow, great question.

What's your name?

Oh, I'm Tristan.

I'm the lesser half of Hotter Sauce.

Wow.

Wow.

Hotter sauce is here.

Joe Hotter is here.

Joe Hotter of Hotter Sauces is here.

Hi, Joe.

Hi, gentlemen.

How are you doing?

Wait, Tristan, what do you say?

You're the lesser half?

What is your capacity for?

For starters, my last name is not Hotter, so I'm kind of that.

I'm the business guy to the inspiration guy.

Oh, sure.

I'm like the Evan Susser of the Hotter Sausser.

Wow.

And he asked a question about Hanukkah.

Also the most Jewish.

What are your guys' answers?

Potato latkes.

Yeah, I think that's the answer.

I'm trying to think if there's something else besides latkas.

I had latkes because it was in Cub Scouts and there was a Jewish scout our um in our patrol and there was a or no it wasn't patrols they were called packs i think i think patrols or boy scouts doesn't matter anyway so packs yeah i think so

what were called packs the the the clusters of scouts jesus christ little groups of scouts like the platoons of scouts like a pack of wolves i think so it was like a pack of wolves yeah that's why i could be wrong that'd be cub scouts would be the would be the packs Yeah, I think Cub Scouts were packs, and then Boy Scouts were troops.

I can't remember what the smaller unit is.

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Like I said, it doesn't matter.

matter.

You ask the follow-up questions.

We went over to his, we had the meeting

at his place, and his mom made latkes for all the scouts, and all these Gentile scouts were like, this is the most amazing food I've ever had in my life.

She made fresh latkas.

We had sour cream and applesauce with them.

It's just such an incredible bite from my childhood.

I remember I went to the Bisconti's house as a boy, and I had latkas, and

it was a nice moment.

Yeah.

Wow.

Is there another candidate?

I mean, there would be...

The commission's conishion is pretty good.

Yeah, that's not really a Hanukkah food.

There would be soufkoniot, which would be jelly donuts, but for me, those don't really do it.

That would be another one.

All right, Tristan, thank you for a question.

Great.

All right, Amelia, let's go.

Hi, what's your name?

Can the next one not be about Hanukkah?

This is a big Hanukkah question.

Oh, shit.

No, it's not.

You guys are big hot dog fans?

That's right.

So

they hate them.

I don't really care for them.

Just tell the truth.

But so you guys ever been to Waltz in Eagle Rock?

No, I haven't been to Waltz.

So it's a pinball like hipster.

I've been.

Yes, I've been.

Okay, have you had the hot dogs there?

I did, yes.

Did you like it?

Yeah, like five forks.

Five forks?

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

That's all I was going to say.

It's like the best hot dog I've ever had.

That's not a question.

That's good.

I like it.

Sorry, I just like...

Let's go there.

We shouldn't have done that.

It's a good fucking hot dog.

I don't know.

We should have got Waltz.

I like it.

Waltz is good.

We should visit Waltz.

I liked it.

What's your name?

Stefan.

Stephanie,

it was kind of a statement in the form of a question.

I'm here on behalf of Waltz.

Are you really?

Really?

No, not at all.

Sad that we got excited.

Felt like we were being grilled.

A very interrogating

sort of strategy.

Yeah, you're right, Mitch, appropriate.

All right, let's get another question from Emma's side.

Oh, I can't.

Pass it.

People to yourself.

There's some people on the other side.

Let's go maybe go go on.

Go onside.

Uh-oh.

Hi, what's your name?

Do you guys like HUD Dogs?

No, no, no, no, no.

Duncan Duncan.

Oh, Duncan.

We've met you before, haven't we?

Yeah, yeah, I was at the very first Live Dough Boy show.

Not to brag.

Wow.

That's wild.

At the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Sunset, now closed.

The McDonald's across on the street, also now closed.

Yep.

I was going to say, I feel around the holiday time, like everyone kind of has the moment with the family, but then like there's your time kind of thing, and like maybe you get a little buzzed or whatever.

But like, what's your like favorite non-traditional holiday meal?

Like, if you're after hours, like, maybe you had a couple drinks or something, you're doing your own thing.

Like, what's your favorite meal outside of like the traditional holiday meal?

Go for it.

Every day I do Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve.

This is true.

Yeah.

Not all of it, but I do final Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve because I think I like it.

I like the excitement.

You like like being the pressure cooker.

I like going on the pressure cooker.

I go to the Paul Blart Mall.

This is true.

I go to South Shore Plaza and I grab some stuff, but then I also go to Burger King and I get myself

a Whopper

and I don't tell my mom.

And I throw the wrapper away somewhere else.

So I go there and I eat a Whopper and I love it.

It's always good.

The Christmas Eve Whopper fucking knocks it out of the park.

I have a, so, so my question, because, because, you know, obviously, if you say something like Chinese food or you say something like, I go to like a Jewish deli, that's like, well, those are conventional things to do.

I don't think that really addresses your question, Duncan, even though those are things I like to do.

I like going to Duncan's, like, you know, I will endure the line.

I said Duncan's.

I like, I will endure the line at,

I meant to say Cantors.

I'm not going to Duncan's place.

I will go to, I like Cantors.

Like, like, like, it can be a zoo in that Christmas time, but it is kind of fun to go to a place that's open and buzzing and has some sort of different vibes.

But anyway, I was going to say

my answer would be, my fast food answer would be Del Taco, which I think is pretty obvious.

But I was going to say, this made me think of a Burger King Christmas story I had, which is that I went to a Burger King, and because it was Christmas, you know, sometimes.

Christmas Day?

I'm pretty sure it was Christmas Day.

It might have been Christmas Eve.

It was like a Christmas, like, it was definitely a holiday.

And it was definitely a thing of like, these people are working on a day where they should be, they should have off, even if they're making double time or whatever.

I was like, I'm going to give them a good tip.

So I had a 20 that I was going to hand to the guy.

And

he added my food.

I got the 20 out.

And as he reached over with the 20, the wind caught it and it blew away.

And I had to get out of my car and chase it down and bring it back to him.

And he just laughed at me.

You had to get out of your car at the drive-thru?

Yeah, I had to get out of my car at the drive-thru.

The car starts rolling.

It was a fucking $20 bill.

Yeah, I know.

I did have that.

That happened once separately at a Burger King, which is that I accidentally stepped on my accelerator as I was reaching for my food.

And the guy laughed at me.

popped his head

uh this is 100 true for me what i think of like holiday food is if i do go back to the east coast where i'm from in maryland uh sometimes it's an opportunity oh i can have some of the food that i loved growing up and this is 100 true and that includes the Burger King on Shady Grove Road.

I love that.

And I also go.

And I also throw the wrapper away before I'm

aware.

You know what?

I have a feeling there's a lot of people in the audience who throw the wrapper away.

It is, it is.

And then sometimes she even, because there's been times where I just throw her away at the house and she's like, I saw a Burger King wrapper in the trash.

I'm like, fuck.

So now I'm going to go to do it to

some other fat guy at another house who's going to get busted because of me.

I find like a random barrel on the street.

You don't throw it away at the mall where there's a bunch of trash cans?

The Burger King's not at the mall.

This is the issue at the time.

You have to drive through, you eat it in the car.

Then you don't have to worry about the smell in the car.

You have to worry about the, you do have to, I'm borrowing my mom's car, so you do have to worry about the smell in the car.

This is the truth.

You roll down the window.

I do.

And then she's like, why did you roll down the window?

It was fucking cold.

Why did you roll?

And I was like, oh, I don't know.

I was warm in the car and I forgot to put it back up.

This is all true.

All these scenarios that happened to me before.

Throw the wrapper away in your trash can and then jack off into some tissues.

Put the tissues on top of it.

She'll never find it.

That's perfect.

Emma, Amelia, any guilty pleasures or unconventional pics for the holidays?

Like any Christmas traditions or things you've done in the past you've enjoyed?

I don't feel guilty about anything.

Well, then

just something that's maybe not a conventional Christmas choice.

My sister and I typically, when we were young, couldn't smoke weed in my parents' home, so we would smoke it while we were driving around.

So sorry, don't do that.

It's really bad.

But we did it a lot, and we would always go to McDonald's and get twisty cones, like a vanilla cone.

Oh, that's fine.

Before we went home, because we're like, this will make me seem not stoned.

That probably never worked.

Other than that, on Thanksgiving, the past two years, our video editor Mike and I have made like dentaifeng style soup dumplings for Thanksgiving dinner every year.

And that's kind of our tradition.

Very not Thanksgiving, but like so much better than turkey.

Sorry.

I'm fucking pissed off.

Am whatever.

Mitch is going to be pissed, but we do an Italian dinner sometimes.

Wow.

You're fired.

By the way.

What's in the Italian dinner?

Emilia is the thirstiest of anyone for Luigi Mangione.

Oh my god, it's her husband.

Yeah.

Yeah,

we had our Doughboys group text, and Amelia was sharing pictures, and then Emma commented, looks like we finally found Amelia a husband.

That's what we've all been trying to do.

You know, we'll have some chicken palm, some lasagna,

meatballs.

Scorpio making any of this?

None of it.

He doesn't?

He doesn't make it.

My mom does.

Okay.

Let's get one more question from the right side, Amelia, If you want to see anyone over there with a raised hand, I see someone in the front.

Maybe there's over here, maybe.

Oh, you found somebody.

There we go.

Hi, what's your name?

My name is Tim.

Hi, Tim.

What's your question?

How are you doing, Tim?

So, Taco Bell recently is outsourcing their Super Bowl commercial by

establishing drive-through photo opportunities where

they did them in LA and Tennessee, blah, blah, blah.

If you had carte blanche to do a Super Bowl commercial for a chain restaurant, what would it be?

And

would you star in it?

I mean, I think you'd have to star in it just for the money, right?

You, me,

Subway commercial, Jared's back.

We got news.

Trump's in office, and Jared is back.

He was one of the people Biden pardoned.

Our Patreon goes through the roof.

For sure.

We like the guy.

Folks, we're about to wrap it up here, but I have one more thing I need to announce.

He was mentioned earlier.

There's a great man I hope to meet in the new year, Amelia's father, Scorpion Marino.

And he was a source of inspiration for me

in my own

midlife rebrand.

Folks,

I'm Tiger now.

What?

I'm Tiger now.

Oh my god.

What the fuck?

Is that real?

A tiger tattoo.

Is it real?

Is it real?

He's never going to tell us.

You'll see.

Check in this.

Is that Darcy Tattoo?

I'm Evan Susser.

I just thank the gods since we're on our live stream when you lifted up your short that nothing came out.

That's all.

Give it up for Emma and Amelia.

And everyone here at Dynasty Typewriter.

Until next year for the Spoonman Mike Vigil, I'm Tiger Wager.

Happy Eating.

See you guys.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Fat soils are bad, bad, fat.

And you know they can never be wet.

The fat boys are back.

Do you like the spectrum?

Hey, you.

Driving in your car?

Working in your studio?

Getting your nails done?

Ooh, love that color.

Yes, you.

What if I told you you could be California's newest superhero?

You don't need a fancy cape x-ray vision or a sidekick.

You just need to sign up for PowerSaver Rewards.

That way, when you save energy during a flex alert, you get a credit back on your energy bill.

Visit powersaverrewards.org and become a super power saver!

Capes optional.

That was a head gum podcast.