Toront-dough: McDonald's Canada with Mike Hanford

This is a head gun podcast.

Want to watch this episode?

Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash doughboysmedia.

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dalliance with a duke or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romantic series from Sarah J.

Maas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

This message is sponsored by Greenlight.

With school out, summer is the perfect time to teach our kids real-world money skills they'll use forever.

Greenlight is a debit card and the number one family finance and safety app used by millions of families, helping kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely.

Parents can send their kids money and track their spending and saving while kids build money confidence and skills in fun ways.

Start your risk-free Green Light trial today at greenlight.com/slash wondery.

That's greenlight.com/slash wondery.

No, I don't mean Frederick Crane.

That would be child of the Fraser.

The Fraser here refers not to Seattle psychiatrist and Nile sibling Frasier Crane, but to the Fraser River, the longest river in British Columbia, named for the explorer who established the province's first European settlement, though naturally indigenous peoples had inhabited the riverbanks for generations.

And the Child of the Fraser is the city of Richmond, officially founded in 1879, its economy becoming centered around the fishing and agriculture enabled by the fertile waterway.

But an even more consequential founding happened nearly a century later, in 1967, when America's great contribution to culture, fast food, planted its golden arches in Richmond proper, courtesy of chain restaurant colonizer Ray Kroc.

Yes, Richmond, British Columbia is home of the first Big Mac purveyor north of the Canadian border, a brand that has grown to around 1,400 restaurants and 90,000 employees in Canada alone, making it the fourth largest eatery in the nation, just ahead of burger family vendor A ⁇ W.

The city of Richmond's population has more than McDoubled in the past 40 years, largely due to immigration from Asia.

In 2016, Craig Jones, a professor at the University of British Columbia, proudly declared the city, quote, one of the most diverse regions in Canada and maybe the world.

Could the influx of new Richmondites from around the globe possibly be related to its status as a Canadian McMecca?

Almost certainly not.

But to look at it another way, yes.

Today, with a Yankee McBurger chain as omnipresent in Canada as Tim Freakin' Hortons, speaking as an American, let me just say to our neighbors to the north, you're welcome.

And you're also welcome for Frasier.

This week on Doughboys, we conclude Toronto Dough, Doe Canada, the Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the six with McDonald's, Canada.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Francis Ford Capicola, the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell.

Welcome to Dough Boys.

Very Halloween-appropriate roast you got there today.

Very Halloween-appropriate, yes.

I was joking.

It's not Halloween-appropriate at all.

Francis Ford.

I thought you were because you were talking because he did a Dracula voice because he did Bram Starter's Dracula.

That was, oh,

that's what he thought the reference

was.

I made a meal out of the muck.

Hi, Doe Fam.

Thanks for keeping me entertained all these years while mowing the lawn and plowing snow.

Hi, Eli.

Parenthetical, leave this out if you want.

IDC.

All right.

When he says plowing snow, does he mean he's fucking it.

Yeah.

And when he says mowing the lawn, he means

eating it out.

Roastedbirdfuck.com.

A megalopolis roast, Mitch.

Yeah, it's not a Canadian roast.

Yes, it's not a Halloween roast.

It's a megalopolis roast because it's in the zeitgeist.

Dracula.

He did do Dracula.

He did.

Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Terry Oldman.

That reminded me of something that happened today.

We'll get to that later.

You know, Hey, man, I know you haven't seen Megalopolis yet, but the thing I can tell you that's not a spoiler.

We're talking about the bird.

We'll get to the bird.

The thing I can tell you that's not a, that's not a spoiler.

Oh, is that Watto from Phantom Menace?

Yeah, but he's dressed as Dracula from the menu.

We both can fly.

Sorry, I'm hitting the microphone.

What do you think they're dressing like on tattooing?

Go ahead.

Why are you.

Is there a Halloween?

It's probably called something different and funny.

It's called Halloween with like an O-O-I-N-E, like tattooing.

Oh, like tattooing.

That's kind of funny.

That's fun.

And they dress up like characters from other planets, like gungens or whatever.

And then that's, and that's a whole thing.

Gungan's dressing up like Ewoks.

Ewoks dressed up like Gungan.

And I heard that Jack Skellington is actually their Santa Claus who comes on Halloween.

He is.

It's all flip-flopped.

Yeah,

it's all different.

It was a lot of fun.

Skeleton is

part of the Star Wars universe?

Yeah, they're skeletons.

Jack Skellington's part of it.

He's always kind of, if you go back and watch episode one, he's sort of shooting around in the background a lot.

It's all done.

That's the IP at this point.

The first one that came out, episode four, I guess I should say.

Look, we got to slow it down here a notch.

Megalopolis.

Here's what I was going to say.

Megalopolis.

It's going to be like that today.

It's going to be a wild one.

We know what we're getting into.

Yeah, yeah.

And you know what?

I love every minute of it.

Good, good.

This is what it's all about.

You're putting a dent in that couch right there with your grip.

I said I'd make a meal out of the muck, but what is it?

Mountain out of mold.

Polish mountain out of mold.

But you polish a turd.

Polish a turd.

Yeah, that's a little

made gold out of what is you know, I said put lipstick on a pig.

There we go.

That's one of them.

That's funny.

Gold out of gunk.

Yeah.

Meal like that.

You're saying we watch a prom night.

Put lipstick on a pig.

Here's my date.

Get that Mike Mitchell back here.

Yeah, I got sent back to the pig farm.

The pigs had a great night at prom.

You should never have been out of that pig farm.

If I was the mayor of that town, which one day hopefully I will be, Mayor of Quincy, I'm going to A, burn it to the ground and change all the laws about letting half pig boys out of their pens to go to school.

I'm not a half-pig boy.

Here's the deal:

I brought a pig to prom,

and then they were like, there's a pig at prom.

And then the pig catchers came.

They took me.

They confused me.

They thought I was the pig.

The pig stayed at prom.

Had a great time.

What?

I think he was

prom king.

Yeah.

He was the pig won prom king.

Fucking got laid.

Yeah.

He lived the life i was over there rolling in mud i actually had a blast i would love to be mayor of quincy one day you can't be mayor of quincy

you can barely do any math

you don't have to do math to be a mayor budget you just have to cut the cut the ribbon on a new uh auto parts player yeah it's largely ceremony the comptroller will take care of the budget

i don't i don't trust you with the scissors um he's gonna be cutting ribbons you're gonna be you i just don't i don't like it look while we're talking civic governance, we got to talk about Megalopolis.

Because here's what I want to say.

And this is not a spoiler.

Aubrey Plaza

in

Megalopolis plays a character.

I love Aubrey Plaza.

I was

like Aubrey Plaza.

I was like, ugh, because you're bringing this up.

Aubrey Plaza in the movie Megalopolis plays a character named Wow Platinum.

That is a name.

Wow Platinum.

Now, here's what I've said to Mitch.

What word do the Doughboys say more than any other?

Wow.

And what is the highest honor you can achieve on the Dough Boys podcast?

Five forks all around, which put you in the Platinum Plate Club.

Yeah, wow, platinum.

I believe that's a nod to the pod because I think Francis Ford Coppola is a Doughboys subscriber.

Which makes sense.

Really?

You think he is?

I think he is.

Which makes sense.

We're a Coppola goofball.

I was.

He's done that three

of it.

I I love that he skipped one I completely was like you think Francis

why the fuck would Francis Borgovo be doing

he's not listening to anything he's listening to opera vinyl

that would be cool though I wouldn't be surprised that would be cool you're gonna burn Quincy to the ground I'm gonna save one house hopefully the Adam's house

not your house oh my house

I'm gonna take all you and all your friends put them in your house and then burn the rest of it

be a party.

We could start over, finally.

You can't cut too many.

There's a lot of ribbons keeping things together over here.

You can't cut too many of them.

Mitch Hanford, this is the final episode of Toronto Doe Canada, the Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the Six.

And the mystery chain teased at the live show has been revealed.

It is McDonald's, Canada.

Everyone guessed it.

McDonald's Canada.

Everyone was guessing McDonald's Canada.

They got it right.

Wait, they were, really?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, then you got it right.

Were they?

Wise, you're dressed up for Halloween as a dork.

I am wearing my Canadian tuxedo.

Now, here's the thing.

I mentioned the live show.

I was going to wear this at the live show.

And of course, Air Canada lost my bag.

It was a whole ordeal.

We're later in the week now.

We're recording up here at Podium Studios in Toronto.

So I have my luggage and I'm bringing out the Canadian tuxedo for this Halloween-centric episode.

But we were just talking about that at release of Halloween.

Did you know that it was Halloween?

Yeah.

That's not why you dressed up in the Canadian Tuxedo.

No, I wore it just to wear it because otherwise it was a fucking waste.

Well, you got it on.

Yeah, I got it on.

There's nothing like a brand new denim coat to make a man look very uncomfortable.

Look how high his shoulders are.

I know, I know.

It's also a little too big, but it's

like you're wearing a fat suit.

It looks like it's flumped up.

Yeah.

I'm clumping a little bit.

I have a jean jacket that I've been for years like trying to just like make it wearable.

Yeah.

I wash it unnecessarily.

Sometimes just like break it down, and it's still just like this stiff, stupid thing.

Emma and Mars, you you're the you're the canadian in the room yeah y'all y'all got any denim y'all got oh yeah nick we got lots of denim okay okay

that's not even canadian mars yeah just jeans no jacket really because they are i do find them to be pretty stiff and i haven't found one up yet you got any denim that's a fair question you need to go to like a vintage store to get yeah i have two denim jackets that i love i think they're in storage in my parents' house in maine but i got them from a vintage store in college and so they're like one of them the sleeves is all is all frayed and it's like got holes and it's falling apart but it's so soft but yeah it's like someone wore it for like 20 years before i bought it so i lost my luggage uh and uh we we found it another fact another thing that happened

so emma and i and and mars and amelia and i went on a walking tour guided by a landa johnston the knife earlier this week i was filming we went to the rogers center uh which is where the the blue leaf or the blue jays play or the leafs play whatever the fuck they they got they have the roger center is baseball isn't it

rogers Center is baseball.

The Scotiabank Arena is where they play the.

The Scotiabank is where...

Basketball.

Basketball.

Okay, so that's where the Raptors play.

Yes.

Maybe, maybe.

We were at the sports complex.

We're all the

formerly known as Skydom.

Anyway, so there's a bunch of statues.

There's like a wall of heroes of all of the Maple Leaves, the famous Maple Leafs, the Hall of Famers.

Ryan Clark, I'm sure, was a Doug Gillimore.

And you know what?

And Tim Horton himself, the Hockey Hall of Famer, there was a statue of him immortalized.

So we go to pose for a photo there, and I take my purse off

just for the photo and I hang it on like the outstretched foot of Tim Horton or another leaf.

And we take the photo and then we leave and we're in like a store looking at like Raptors jerseys.

And I'm like, where's my bag?

And Emma remembers.

We were gone for like 10, 15, 20 minutes like shopping.

And we thought he put it down while I was trying something on.

We're looking all over the store.

I look across the street, still hanging on the dude's foot.

So I'm going to thank you.

You've saved this whole thing a number of times.

That's what the jacket was in?

No, that was a separate incident.

That's where I just lost my, I almost lost my wallet.

I thought you couldn't bad with bags.

Yeah, I'm just bad with everything.

I told you I took my fucking sunglasses and I stashed them in the pocket of my hotel robe, and I lost them for two days.

I don't know what they were doing there.

You're going to let him talk like that?

He's bad at everything.

What are you talking about?

He sounds like a damn fool if you ask me.

No, no, no.

you're you got yourself across the border that's a difficult task yeah you you had your passport with you i'm managing with it this is the final episode

we're gonna figure it out here's an idea get the fuck out of here just leave to return i'm about to go this is the final episode i'm i know i'm i'm thrilled we're almost done mitch i felt so much better i feel like shit this week yeah it's been a tough week we've been in a lot of scotiabank arena for that and then we went to the sky dome afterwards the the statues are in front of scoti bank arena got it got it that's where it was you know when you guys like you go to somebody's house for the first time, like they're hosting you, and like you walk in, they're like, This place sucks.

I don't even want to be here.

You don't really want to go to that person's house, right?

That's true.

Yeah,

I would imagine the same thing

carries over to podcasts.

I don't want to be here.

I don't like this.

I think that makes me feel

Rogers Center's where they play.

I think it's Kenny Rogers Center.

I don't know you, but he is a baseball.

You gotta know.

Kenny Rogers.

Is it Kenny Rogers?

You gotta know.

Oh, I know.

That's what it is.

You're thinking of.

Who's that guy who I'm thinking of?

You know what about him?

Michael Kennedy.

You know what?

McDonald's.

McDonald's.

Kind of appropriate.

Pretty good.

Kenny Rogers could be like, you gotta know when to hit him.

You gotta know when to bunt them.

I thought you were gonna say, know when to sit them.

Walk them better.

Know when to run.

Know when to run to run.

That's right.

There you go.

You better stop your sliding.

When you're coming down to home base.

Don't start to slide in right after you've hit the ball.

All right.

Look, Fox.

Happy Halloween to all our listeners.

It's a Halloween day.

That's right.

Am I back in Los Angeles at this point?

I don't know.

I I don't think so.

You're betting no.

Work final, October 29th.

There's a chance I'm back.

There's a chance.

We'll see.

But then they also told me maybe not.

Yeah.

A lot of people thought we were going to do.

I guess there's a haunted mansion keg or something.

The keg.

The keg.

The keg has a haunted mansion.

I went to the keg with my mom and sister.

The keg, same ownership as Swiss Chalet and

Harvey's.

Oh, which is a chain.

What kind of restaurant is it?

It's kind kind of like an Eastside Mario's.

They're all one company.

Eastside Mario's?

Yeah.

Keg Mansion.

Keg Mansion is said to be haunted by Lillian.

Oh, my God.

I'm just reading this right now.

Sounds scarifying.

Keg Mansion, scarrifying?

Yeah.

Keg Mansion is said to be haunted by Lillian, a maid who hanged herself in 1915 on the premises.

Wow.

She was employed by

industrialist Hart Massey.

Like, is you know when you go to somebody's house and they're like, yeah, come on over.

And like, you sit down and they just start reading off their phone.

And you're like, oh, they weren't preparing for me to be here at all.

They didn't care.

That's kind of like going to Mitch's house, actually.

Another story said that Lillian was having an affair with a Massey Family Man.

So Megalopolis was not a great

real ride.

I don't think it's a good movie.

You want to get back into Megalopolis?

You don't want to know more about the hospital.

I don't want to sit here and watch you scroll through your phone.

I think anyone who likes movies should watch Megalopolis because it's a fascinating one.

It's part of movie history.

Yeah, I think so.

Very much so.

I just imagine that.

What would you say is the famous line from it?

Well, I mean, we're into spoiler country.

Do you want me to say it?

Yeah.

What do you think of this boner?

That's probably the biggest.

That's probably the line.

I'm guessing.

I'm guessing this is maybe a guy who works at a morgue and he's got like a decomposed body and he's showing the new kid.

You're close.

I actually have no idea what this movie's about.

I haven't seen it.

You thought it was an actual bone?

No, it could have been.

I don't think a lot of people refer to bones as boners.

No, the person, the skeleton.

You know, it's like, you know, when you're, it's a Halloween, like, oh, look at that group of boners walking us.

There's a bunch of people dressed as skeletons, you'd say.

Right.

I think if you start, if you work in like forensics, if you're like, you like perform autopsies, you start to adopt that sort of lingo.

I got another boner for the moment.

Another boner coming.

Throw it with a pie on.

Found a bonner in the ravine.

I got a question for you.

Yeah.

I got a couple things to say.

One, we were driving over here.

Yeah.

I asked our Uber driver if I could roll down my window.

Who looked a lot like Paul Rudd.

He was like a

bitch.

A French-Canadian Paul Rudd.

Very, very dashy.

He was looking at me.

I got in that car.

I said, you're a handsome bitch.

You're a handsome bitch.

That handsome son of a bitch,

I said,

can I roll out my window?

You, the peanut gallery in the back starts laughing.

Sorry, peanut allergy gallery.

Starts laughing with peanuts allergy.

I developed, yeah, one late in life.

He grew a peanut allergy.

That's where my nephew's going.

He grew his.

It's a slight one.

His is growing.

I mean,

he didn't have one before.

He's got one.

You got a slight one.

I started developing it.

Yeah, it's weird.

It's really strange.

I guess it happens.

Go to an allergist, you fool.

I went to an allergist.

What do they say?

He's like, it happens sometimes.

Did they draw the grid on your skin and then poke you with different?

I did.

I got that happen.

Yeah.

I got a blood test, too, yeah.

This whole thing.

Look, look at the blood blood.

It's like Terminator when they open his arm.

This joint's been getting a lot of work.

What did you say?

This joint's been getting a lot of work.

It's jacking off.

So

I rolled out the window, and then the peanut gallery in the back, laughing it up.

Yeah, yeah.

I said, what do you guys think?

And then Hamford says, it makes you less of a man.

Is that what you say?

So this is what you, this is you.

And I don't think this is being.

I'm not trying to make, this isn't a hyperbolic impression.

I think this is what it sounded like.

Sir,

is it okay if I open the window?

Is it okay if I open the window, sir?

And then what did he tell you?

Yes, this is your car.

You paid for it, basically.

It was very French.

He said he's a French accent.

He said, That's your window.

That's your window.

And then, and then you said, He said, Don't open mine.

And he said, Do not open mine.

And then, and then, because this handsome son of gun was also French on top of all that.

Yeah, he was a toll package.

And plus, he had a nice car.

And he had a nice car.

And then, and you're in the back there, and you said, I think it just makes you less of a man.

He said, and then in front, he was driving away.

He laughed.

He liked it.

He laughed like that.

He liked that.

Finally, the French are not being

made off.

We got the button of the joke.

Wages, we were in McDonald's.

But then I tried to roll down my window.

I couldn't do it.

He had him childlocked.

You yelled at him.

He said, I need to get, I need to get down for a joke.

Banging his head with an American flag.

Wages, when we're at McDonald's, did

anyone go up to you and say, Hey, is your dad in here working today?

I'm a big fan.

Fucking clown-ass dad.

I forgot about that.

That was so long ago.

What, clown-ass dad?

Yeah, that was a long time ago.

It's just we went into that.

This was a joke Mitch was making in the studio, like, I guess back in June.

When was that?

May, maybe?

Yeah, it came out.

That was Jordan Morris's episode that came out on 7-Eleven.

Yeah, so we probably recorded that in April or May.

So I did.

Yeah, the clown.

Yeah, there you go.

So someone said that to you when you went in?

Mitch, well, that's well, did anyone say it today to you about your dad?

Oh, yeah, someone did.

Anyways, look, a bird flew flew into McDonald's.

That's right.

That was cool.

That's what I was referring to before.

Oh, I was doing a bat.

I thought you were doing a bat for Halloween.

We were doing bats, and I said, ooh, that would that connect to later because a bird

flew in there.

It's so funny seeing birds inside, always.

It is funny.

I agree with that.

Mitch, you gotta play the drop, and then I gotta introduce Hanford, and then we can get on with the show.

Saluto to Nation Collier.

Emma, hit him with it drop, Z drop.

Lead drop.

Lead drop.

Z drop.

You know what?

Wise, that's kind of my mission this year.

We talked about it a bit with Ghostbusters.

You know that song?

Just give it back to the Edways.

Hey!

Give it back to the boys.

Give it back to the Edways.

Give it back to the boys.

Prepare for this bit to carry on for another three months.

We love it.

Yeah.

Where's my For the Boys t-shirt?

The song was good.

You have to admit that.

It's Dumboys, you sloppedhead.

What?

I think it said it's Dumboys, you slophead.

Oh, right.

That's fun.

DK, thanks for pushing me to fix the audio.

This email.

This is how the email is starting off.

So, DK, I guess, pushed back on this guy to fix the audio.

DK, thanks for pushing me to fix the audio.

Open to tweaking it again if you think I should.

What the fuck is going on?

What has been going on?

Well, this email is from 2023, May 2023.

If you use it, you can know.

Dropking is giving like rounds of notes on Dropkin.

What the hell are you doing, Drop King?

If you're hearing this, the sloppy boys are probably on the pod.

So, a hardy.

Wow.

What is up to them?

All All right.

I did pretty bad.

You do it.

Oh, it's Tim's thing, but what is up, I guess he says.

What is up?

Now,

what is that?

Thanks for all the laughs and wows to Mitch and Wags, Emma, DK, Casey, Amelia, and Scorpion.

Wow.

Shout out to the two fat Kevins.

Red, aka Danny Noonan on Discord.

Hey, we know Danny Noonan.

We know Danny.

Hey, lovely drop.

Well done.

All right.

That was a good one.

Yeah.

And thanks for taking Drop King's feedback and iterating on that a few times.

Get it up into shape.

I wonder how much he's charging you.

Do all the drops go to Drop King first and he sends them to you?

I gave up on looking at the drops or looking at anything that has to do with the podcast in a lot of ways.

You probably get a ton of them because we get a bunch.

You guys have probably been.

They've kind of fallen off this pod a little bit.

I always enjoy that when we do it.

I mean, we took that from your show, but we, I'm sure.

Drops are a lot of fun.

It's fun to hear what people pick out of the episodes and put together.

I love it.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

Hey, our guest today from the Sloppy Boys.

And then tonight's show, Mike Hanford, is back.

Hi, Hanman.

Hello.

Hello.

Handman, you're doing a show

up here in Toronto tomorrow night.

You're doing your stand-up.

Thank you so much for making time to come do the pod.

Come on, it's great to have you.

I love it.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me.

I love it.

And a man who lived in Toronto for school.

That's right.

You studied for a year at the University of Toronto.

My freshman year.

Yeah, I was up here in a beautiful, beautiful school, beautiful town.

Wait,

it was University of Toronto?

Yep.

I thought you said it just a second, it was St.

Mike's.

Well, I was trying to explain.

St.

Mike's is this, the university is made up of seven colleges.

St.

Mike's was the college I was.

So I was right.

I sent when I got one.

Yeah, but I think I was trying to explain it.

I was confusing when I was trying to explain it, I think.

One of my first nights up here, I walked through the University of Toronto.

I got a video of a skunk, and I said to him, I said, this guy took your spot up here at the University of Toronto.

He was my best professor.

He was good.

Yeah, then my nose on clothespin professor was pretty good.

I should say clothespin on nose.

It was your freshman year.

Yeah.

So you were originally going to be like, I'll go to school up in Canada.

I'll go to school in Toronto.

And then you transferred to an American university.

Yeah, I transferred to Ithaca where I met Mitch.

But well, I really liked it up here, but I realized I wanted to do film, which turned into TV or just entertainment.

And

the film program up here was like all practical stuff.

So you're up here because you grew up in upstate New York.

There's all theoretical stuff.

So it was all like, yeah, talking about

written theory.

Yeah.

Right, not application.

So

you're in upstate New York.

And you, like, how far from where you grew up is Toronto?

Not far.

There was a time when Rochester had a thing called the Fast Ferry that would go right across.

Wow.

And it

completely failed.

Like, no one used it.

It was like this big story forever.

They, from Australia, this, like, big, huge boat that could carry cars and shit.

and it didn't work out but um it took maybe three hours to get here going around lake ontario oh wow because you can see it you can almost see uh rochester from uh like oh that's what some people are saying you can almost see across to rochester so it's like damn if you had that fast ferry you could go i know it was like it was like in an hour it was crazy and just no one came and it was like i think it was the idea was proposed when like the uh currency was US dollar was better in Canada.

And then I think that just kind of evened out and it wasn't worth coming up to shop.

Damn, I've been to the rocks.

We'll have to come to see the nice city, though.

Yeah, I mean, this is what it's one of those geographical things that for me, as someone who, you know, lived his whole life in Southern California, it's like it's closer from Rochester, New York to Toronto, Ontario than it is from Los Angeles, California to San Francisco, California.

You know what I mean?

It's like

it's just a feels asynchronous to me.

From Rochester to Toronto than it was to Rochester to Ithaca.

Longer to run.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, you didn't like it too much.

You left.

While you were up here, like, what was that experience like as an American living in Toronto, like your first time away from all?

How much were you bullied?

It was, I was bullied.

I did a lot of the bullying.

I would run around, but I would go to like younger grades.

I would go to the high schools and bully those people because they were younger than me.

No, it was interesting because all the, there's, I don't know if they still do it.

Mars, do they still do grade 13 here?

I don't think so.

Okay.

Grade 13?

Grade 13.

Yeah, it was like after

your senior year up here, you would, or they just had 13 grades instead of 12.

And then, so everyone was a year older than us.

What the hell?

That sounds like a scary show on like Nickelodeon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's a goosebumps one.

Yeah, grade 13.

You're going to grade 13.

There's like an arm coming out of the door.

That even might be a part of the Fear Street.

That's not, that might be too scary for goosebumps.

Is that like the

stories to tell in the dark?

uh it was cool up here uh maybe i'll tell you some

i don't know what the difference was it was just being in it being in a big city was like that was the big brand new thing right right which was really fun and the school was humongous like all my classes were huge and i didn't really get to know too many people other than like the people in my dorm because i because i i also took a little stroll through the university of toronto campus and just to like it was a lovely campus Mitch.

And I will say, but it's one of those campuses like NYU where, and I guess to some degree, UCLA where where I went, although it's a little bit kind of self-contained, where the buildings are kind of integrated into a larger city.

Yeah, there's no defined, like the campus is here and this is.

And then you go to Ithaca, which is very much a college town.

Yeah, and I think maybe that was part of it too.

I did want like a college experience to have that, just like everyone's in the same.

And then we had one of the best damn college experiences.

It's as we became pals and comedy history

with the birthday boys is created.

How about that?

That's pretty good.

Yeah, pretty good.

He is.

He's the guy who I met.

I think I did meet you freshman year.

Didn't you visit Ithaca freshman year?

I don't think so.

Huh.

Then sophomore year.

It is.

Sophomore, it is.

Sophomore year.

I can't believe a time in my life when you weren't around.

We met through my roommate, Granna.

Yeah, who I went to high school with.

What's Granna up to?

He lives in California.

He's a doctor in California.

Oh, that's cool.

Like North, though.

He was in the Peace Corps, wasn't he?

Oh, wait, no.

Air Corps, maybe?

Yeah.

Something like that.

Sorry, Granna.

We love you.

We love you, we love you.

We just can't keep all your volunteer work straight.

Do you have, so you have your time in Toronto?

Do you remember anything from like, like, were you going to Tim Hortons?

Were there cheap bites you were getting back in the day?

Cheap bites.

I remember two for one pizza, I'd get a lot.

Okay.

Two slices for a dollar.

Hey, that's not bad at all.

For a, uh, for a loony, you'd put down a loony.

You put down a loony and then two slices.

You can get four slices.

Wow.

I said, I can do this math all fucking day.

I'm a university student.

You thought he didn't have the math skills to become mayor.

You can, you can, you know, you can become mayor.

Just don't burn it down.

I do remember going, there was a toga party on campus once that me and my friends went to.

Wow.

Yeah, that was kind of fun.

And then, but we went wearing, we got depends, and we thought that would be funny.

That was fun.

And nobody else thought it was funny.

Just the four of us thought it was funny.

That was sort of my time here.

It was like, I remember asking a girl out in a class I was in.

Like, we got along very well.

And she was like, no, I don't think so.

Okay.

Actually, I did have a date here.

I took a girl out to a movie and she wanted to go to McDonald's.

We went to McDonald's beforehand.

Oh, hell yeah.

Do you remember the movie?

No, I don't.

I wish I did.

It would have been 2000,

what were we, freshman, 2001 or two?

Yeah, 2002, I think, because it would have been the spring of that year.

And I remember she came to my room, my dorm room, and

before the date.

Yeah.

And I had

just music on, and her name was Michelle, and the Beatles song, Michelle, was on.

And I was just like, fuck.

She came in.

I was like, hey, like you.

And she was like, I don't know what the song is.

All right.

But I'm weirded out.

Let's go to this movie and then McDonald's.

Let's go watch Attack of the Clones.

And then, yeah, right.

Yeah, we 2001 was the fall 2001.

Bad time in history.

Was uh, but this would have been this would have been the spring.

I would have.

I'm saying a freshman year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was in Ithaca.

Uh, in the,

I was in the East Tower at Ithaca College.

Um, did you live in the towers?

No, no, I was in

I forget where.

Uh, 2022.

Oh, fuck.

That's the wrong year.

2002.

What the hell?

Hold on.

Was there a bird at the McDonald's when you were there?

I was kind of acting like a bird.

We'll get to it.

You know, when the bird,

I saw the bird get up to, you know, how you can order Big Mac?

Yeah, he ordered a Big Worm.

I saw that.

Yeah.

Did you see that?

I did.

He ordered.

Yeah, he asked for the Big Worm.

And then you know how you get a side of fries?

Side of flies.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, it was.

We thought he said fly fries, but then we realized he said flies.

He said flies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He said that.

And he said, can I get it to go?

I'm taking it back to my nest.

Yeah.

He said, okay, yeah.

And you know how you can get a McFlurry?

Yeah.

He asked for a birdseed McFlurry.

Did you hear that?

I did.

I did.

I remember that.

Yeah.

Do you remember what he got for a drink?

I do remember what he got for a drink.

It was a beak sprite.

Bird juice.

Yeah.

Bird juice.

Beak sprite.

It was beak sprite.

Or bird juice.

It was one of the two.

2002 in film.

7-up.

Way up.

You know what he said?

He said, don't give me a straw.

Give me a hollow bone.

Birds are made of.

Minority report was an option.

You could have seen my big, big fat Greek wedding.

That would have been a nice date film.

That would have been fun.

Yeah, I probably could have gotten engaged.

Ice Age or signs.

I think it may have been signs.

It might have been signs.

Yeah, that would track.

It seems like I did see that in the theaters.

Ooh, that's appropriate for today for Halloween.

That's a scary moment when the alien walks by and the footage.

That is, though, it was a sweet moment.

Yeah.

Seven up isn't in McDonald's, is it?

It's Sprite.

Sprite.

Sprite, yeah.

So seven way up didn't really work.

It worked for a bird.

Yeah.

Like his bird can get fly really high.

Parentheses into the sky.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah.

But it doesn't work because they don't carry it.

Well, he asked for the restroom key.

He said, like, can I get a restroom key?

I have to go empty the contents of my Cloaca.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

And then they gave him the back door and there was a car out there.

He shat on the car.

He shot on the car.

Yeah.

Okay.

So.

That bathroom at that McDonald's is a nightmare.

I was, I was in there.

I told you the story before.

This is that we went to the same McDonald's that I that I

thought that thunder and lightning had turned the lights.

Wait, that's the McDonald's?

Yes.

So we ate, I ate breakfast, and then you, then later together, we all ate lunch at the same McDonald's of the story you told at the live show of the McDonald's where they told you, get the fuck out.

Yes.

You had breakfast and lunch at that McDonald's?

On separate days.

Gotcha.

gotcha yeah so no i had i had some i had some hotel uh restaurant oatmeal today i was like i know we need something unhealthy for lunch so i want to have a baseline so the

lights go out yeah i sit down i saw another guy sitting down he got up and left and then the guy came up and said you got to get the hell out of here he said the hell out of here he didn't say hell

uh by the way uh he said dude we're closed uh there do you see the sliding window there was a pickup window there at mcdonald's too

i did uh yeah i saw that well i was looking for the time it was weird.

I don't think they use it anymore.

Jesus fucking Christ.

We were on your coverage.

You could have completely covered that.

Now you've been talking about Coppola a little too long.

My coverage?

There was a sliding window.

There was a sliding window there.

There was a sliding window.

He gave a thumbs up about the time.

There was a sliding window there.

I wonder what time it would have been for him to give a thumbs down.

There's a sliding window there.

You could pick up your orders, but now it's just like a part of the restaurant.

It's probably the fucking bird entrance entrance now.

It's a freaking bird entrance.

This fall, the Food and Wine Classic in Charleston returns November 14th through the 16th for three days of incredible food, wine, and southern hospitality in one of the country's most charming cities.

You'll experience grand tastings, cooking demonstrations, and beverage seminars featuring top chefs, wine and spirits experts, and the bold seasonal flavors of the low country.

It's a weekend built built for discovery, connection, and unforgettable culinary moments.

Tickets are going fast, so head to food and wineclassic incharleston.com to grab yours before they're gone.

It's easy to be a superhero.

You don't need a cape or x-ray vision.

You just need to sign up for PowerSaver Rewards.

That way, when you save energy during a flex alert, you get a credit back on your energy bill.

Visit powersaverrewards.org and become a super power saver.

Wise, you're were about to say something.

Get into what you were going to say.

I don't remember, but I but I but I can we can transition into burger preferences because it's about time to talk about McDonald's.

Where do you stand on a burgie?

A burger in general?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, thumbs up.

Way up.

Do you like the big worm?

Yeah.

Yeah, I usually do.

I do a big worm, but with like the meat cow option.

Right.

That's right.

You order the big worm, but with beef.

Yes.

They'll do that for you, which is nice.

Which is nice.

But what is your, like, do you have like a either a favorite individual burger could be from any restaurant, or do you have like the platonic ideal of like a burger?

You know, a burger off a grill or something.

Yeah, my favorite is a burger off the grill.

Yeah.

Still like hot, the cheese and everything.

Like a backyard barber.

Yeah, that's my favorite type.

But my, my just go-to, like, or my favorite, just getting a burger from a place is probably like In-N-Out or Smash Burgers.

I know it's like a trend that's...

come and gone so much, but I still love Smash Burgers.

Is there a Rochester burger spot that you think of?

There's like Tom Walls and

there's another one.

Fuck.

Bill Gray's.

Those are good like chips and chips.

If I did that at McDonald's, he was going fries chips.

Wait, what the hell is going on with you?

I've been watching too much.

Mr.

Bean, I suppose.

You've been here.

You got anglicized over there.

You know who loves Smash Burgers?

I've heard the Hulk loves Smash Burgers.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I've heard that.

This joke has not been made yet on this podcast.

No, it really hasn't.

Hey, you know what?

We were on your coverage.

you could have at least reacted to it

he's reacting now cover him cover him there we go how do you know we've done one coverage mike can we edit that so that when i say you know like smash burgers hulk and then have him do that yeah he's laughing right there that'll be a little cleaner he's wearing a different shirt

i think the yeah had you heard that before no actually i haven't heard it before i don't think it's been said on the podcast yeah okay or in general.

Do you have that hasn't been said on the podcast?

What do you like?

Okay, so

you have like an In-N-Out burger or something like that, or like a Smash burger.

Do you like a lot of, do you like any particular toppings?

Any veggies?

I usually say hold the lettuce.

Hold the lettuce.

Don't need lettuce.

I always find lettuce just kind of squirts everywhere and doesn't add much to it.

Right.

Tomatoes.

Dropped his phone.

Got a shot of Mitch picking up his phone.

Mitch dropped his phone.

I'm okay with it, baby.

See, Mitch, that's why I got to get you turned on one of these new phone necklaces.

I'm selling like a whole trunk in my hotel room.

These things, they come in every color.

You can wait.

Wait, your phone's on the couch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I don't, I don't know.

I keep mine in the case at home.

Hotel area, you can say, because you'll be gone now.

I'm at Hotel

Trudeau,

staying with the Prime Minister.

That's nice.

Yeah, it was nice of him to open his home

to me.

You know what I do like is Mayo.

I always kind of

kind of forget, and then I I was like, oh, mayo.

But tomato, mayo, ketchup, pickle would be sort of my top.

Sounds delightful.

And, you know, onion, if I don't have a date later.

Hey.

The camera's never on me, right?

I liked it.

I like the audio fine.

I don't work well on camera.

Halloween, good day to have onion on you.

Because it's close to garlic.

It's close to garlic.

Trick him for just a moment.

Doesn't onion scare off some evil spirits or some shit?

Maybe.

I don't know.

I only know garlic with Draculas.

Yeah.

You like garlic on your burger?

No.

I've never had.

Never mind.

Could you say it for the

please just say yes?

I think garlic aioli can be nice.

I don't remember.

I ever do like a roasted garlic, like just like smeared on a burger, but maybe I could see that work.

Does garlic aioli, will that work on dracula?

It's got to work on Dracula.

Yeah, I think so.

I think you'd like, you know.

Ooh.

Crushed up garlic in a sorry, I was.

Finish your thought.

No, no, no.

Crushed up garlic in the patty itself would be good.

Yeah, that could absolutely work.

It would be very good.

Yeah.

Okay.

And where do you stand on McDonald's specifically?

I love McDonald's.

I love McDonald's.

Yeah, I mean, it's like every time, even just today, just like eating, it's like, it's a treat.

Like, it was growing up, that was like the Pavlovian

McDonald's.

It's good just because I know I can't eat it a lot.

Yeah, I mean, I love McDonald's.

I have a great time at McDonald's.

I try not to go too frequently, but every time I go, I go, I'm just like, this is great.

And it's disgusting food.

I mean, like, you open up the bun and you're just like,

what is going on in here?

It's a tasty treat.

That can't be beat.

That's true.

Absolutely.

It's about a skeleton cane.

Speaking of boners.

McDonald's Canada, which we are covering for our final episode of Toronto Doe Canada, the Great Bite North Month on Culinary Tour of the Six, was founded in 1940 in San Bernardino, California, and first opened in Canada in 1967 in Richmond, British Columbia.

The last year,

the last year the Leafs won the Stanley Cup.

Mitch.

Is that possibly connected?

McDonald's intrusion into Campbell.

Oh, my God.

Is what led to the curse of the Maple Leafs?

The McDonald's has to end.

Wow.

What year was that when the 1967?

That was the last time they won.

It really is.

I have a correction.

I said, we were quizzing Lisa Gilroy about, remember I said, who won the World Series in 1990 and 1991?

And in my head, I thought it was the Jays.

It was not.

It was 1992 and 93, I think they won.

Yeah, I remember they had like two years of rows.

They had back-to-back, and I fucked up the back.

They have a guy named Carter who was really good.

Yeah, Jimmy Carter.

He's still going.

Well, Mitch, if

McDonald's has to leave Canada for the Leafs to win again, it's going to be a while because there are now 1,400 locations in Canada.

It is the fourth largest chain in the nation.

The second biggest American chain, number one is Starbucks.

And for this episode, we will only be discussing and rating Canadian exclusive menu items.

So that's what makes this the McDonald's candidate.

It's interesting seeing as our guests basically got everything you get in America.

But no, that's not true.

That's not true.

There's two things that you can get in America.

That's okay.

We talked about it.

Mitch and I will be doing that.

Mitch and I will be doing that.

Hanford can do whatever he wants.

Because I think it's also useful to compare the Canadian execution to the American execution because there are things like, for instance, they have, I took a photo of the placemat, which bragged about its 100% Canadian beef,

like all Canadian sourced eggs, or their Canadian dairy.

They are using Canadian products, so it might have a different sort of character to it.

Can I just say this?

This is not an official review of McDonald's.

No, this is not an official McDonald's review.

This is a review of McDonald's Canada.

The fork score applies to McDonald's Canada only.

And you've never done McDonald's.

We've done McDonald's breakfast, but again, the fork score was only for McDonald's breakfast.

Gotcha.

And this is the fork score only for McDonald's Canada.

Now, I'll say this:

there might be an episode where we discuss some stuff about McDonald's and our future in reviewing it.

There might be something about that.

What are you talking about?

The McLists, you fool.

Did we do that?

Oh, shit.

That will literally be out the week, the Tuesday after this.

What was that?

The McList.

Oh, my God.

You guys discussed what?

I don't know why I'm saying this in the mic because we're going to cut this.

No, you said who you gave it.

You guys talked about who you would have on for the McDonald's episode.

You made your like top 50 list of people you'd have on for the McDonald's.

Do you not remember that?

I kind of remember this.

This was a while ago.

It was a while ago.

It was just

a little bit of a music.

I'm nervous about you.

You guys couldn't narrow it down to like, I think there's like 50 people on the list.

Yeah, we did a bunch of, well, we recorded a bunch of episodes in a, and I kind of went into fugue state while we were doing it.

So that comes out next Tuesday.

And I'm pretty sure if my math is correct, that is also double number 400.

Wow.

How about that?

Double number 400.

I'm just going to say this.

Yeah.

We almost did McDonald's Canada with Distin, but we recorded with him earlier in the week, and we did Harvey's instead.

Lee Harvey's?

What's that?

Lee Harvey's.

Lee Harvey's.

Yeah,

we did.

Actually, I don't think we said that in the episode, but it is named after Lee Harvey Odswald, who's considered a hero in Canada.

It's weird.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because, yeah, if you take out any, yeah, I can't say anything else.

It's hard to joke in this territory.

But you wanted this to be McDonald's is going to be the last surprise restaurant.

Yes.

So we pushed to a later guest.

That's you.

Surprise.

But you know what?

I am thrilled.

If we were just reviewing McDonald's, Hanford would be a great last guest.

I think this is what I was going to say.

I think this worked out beautifully because Distin's been living up here

and I feel like has like has kind of adopted, you know, some

kind of some local character, if you will.

Like has become a part of the city.

And I feel like we have more of the outsider American perspective here, even though you did live in Toronto for a time.

So I think this worked out perfectly.

And I think this is a good idea.

So you got on your track.

Definitely McDonald's.

Definitely at the end of the week.

That was you.

You were ready for McDonald's to be at the end of the week.

Yeah, it makes sense.

It does.

It is a great thing.

You did it.

It all worked out great.

It all worked out great.

Everyone did great.

Here's what I got to say.

Emma, you did great.

Emma and Mars.

thank you so much.

Emma and Mars, you did the best of anyone.

Wow.

I mean, it's me and Wise is the other option.

What are we doing?

I'm going to say this.

Yeah.

So I apologize about the blue guys.

Hanford would be a great, he'd be a great McDonald's guy.

Yeah.

He'd be a great McDonald's.

This is good.

Look, we don't even talk about what the episode will be.

We can just do the episode.

And let me just say this.

One frustration I had, McDonald's Canada has a specific app that is country locked, so visiting Americans can't even download it.

That's annoying.

Unless you use NordVPN.

Use code Doughboys at checkout at NordVPN.

Well, I don't think that's active anymore.

Try it, let's know what happens.

That's right.

Give it a shot.

But if you do use the VPN, you can probably get it.

Yes.

Is the move.

I think I was trying to upload some

stuff on my Instagram stories, and they weren't, I couldn't see them in my story, but like then I saw people liking them.

So, I don't know if that was a weird like cell phone range type thing.

They got like Rogers and Bell up here.

I don't know the fuck's going on.

They have different cell phones.

Bell, Alexander Graham Bell is referring to the Rogers.

Yeah, yeah.

The king of phones?

The Canadian king of phones?

Canadian king of phones.

Who we saw in the little house where the first long-distance call was made in Little Canada.

You're correct.

When we were doing our little Canada double, which is in the past now, we went and we saw Little Alexander Graham Bell.

How fun is that?

I'm going to go to that thing.

You got to go.

It was an absolute blast.

It was my favorite things I did.

It was a good time.

Okay.

Hold on.

Before we get more into it, are you going to get into food?

Yeah.

We got a beer drinker here.

Oh, boy.

That guy likes beer.

Oh, boy.

I'll tell you a funny beer story.

You love yourself a brew dog.

I want to hear a funny beer story.

I want to hear your favorite Canadian beers.

Ooh,

I liked Molson.

When I was here, I liked Molson.

What was it called?

It was like Molson with like three ships on the front of it.

Okay.

I I forget what it was.

It was a white label.

I also just

Labatte Blue, I like a lot too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like those are the big two of Canadian Canada.

Mars, are you?

You have yourself a brew dog ever?

No, I'm not much of a beer drinker.

Not much of a beer drinker.

They all kind of taste bad to me.

Does that track with like what Canadians drink, like Molson and Labat?

I

guess.

I think we also see a lot of American beers that people are drinking here.

And I think people are loyal, except for dads.

Dads love kind of Canadian beers, but

yeah, like the Labatte and Molson is definitely like a product of me seeing like hockey ads in the 90s and 80s and stuff.

And also, upstate New York had a ton of Canadian beers.

Yeah, which is like

Labatte was in our, like, in the Wegmans where we are.

Wow.

So it was like that, that like easy to get.

I wonder if they're going to be a like, I wonder if there's, there must be like a Canadian micro brewery scene.

In fact, I know there is because we had some local, I had some local NA beers earlier this week.

I can't remember what that brewery was, but those are delightful.

I was out with the monster squad, you know.

Yeah.

Dracula.

Wolfman.

Wolfman.

They confused me for Frankenstein.

Then I just kind of joined the move.

Yeah.

Mummy was there.

Mummy was there.

There was like the creature from the Black Lagoons kind of analog.

Yeah.

Kind of like a royalty-free version.

Mummy.

Not my mummy.

My mummy wasn't there, but I love it.

Yeah, no, I knew.

I wish she was.

It would be great.

I guess it's good you clarified, but I knew immediately which mummy.

But I grabbed a Coors

and Coors Light and I tossed it to the Wolfman and he backed off.

Yeah.

I remember you told me this.

Yeah, you can't.

Yeah, you told me this.

Yeah.

The silver bullet.

You can't, you know what I mean?

He's like, I'm not taking any chances.

It was a good night, though.

Yeah.

Just a good Halloween story for everyone to get.

Yeah, that's fun.

What did you guys do at all?

We did the mash.

That's what it was.

You guys did the mash.

And then we did the fuck.

The monster fuck.

So we went for breakfast earlier this week, or I went for breakfast earlier this week.

I will say right now the Canadian Monopoly Games are going on which is like we have we have mcdonald's uh monopoly in america but they have it in canada i'm holding up the game board right now and they have different names for because it's canada so for instance instead of you know uh a baltic avenue it's rideau canal instead of park place it's uh fermont le chateaux frontenac uh they're all like and and instead of

instead of the shortline railroad it's the toronto airport So, it's all shit like that.

Is there a football team up here called the Frontenacs?

I don't know.

These are the Argonauts.

What's a Fronta?

I've heard that word before.

I don't fucking know.

Is Lil Canada on there?

I don't know if Lil Canada is on here.

You might need your reading glasses.

Oh, you know what?

Jail is Little Canada.

That's what it is.

You go to Little Canada.

You can go to jail, you go to Little Canada.

You get shrunk down?

Yeah,

you get Little Eyes, and you go to Little Canada.

Oh, my God.

Kensington Frontenac is a hockey team.

Is that what you're saying?

Oh, fun.

Okay.

There you go.

What league?

So I went for breakfast early this week.

So the Canadian Monopoly games are going on right now.

So that's a lot of fun.

I got the Canadian exclusive breakfast item.

I got the spicy egg and hash brown breakfast wrap, made with a freshly cracked Canadian free-run egg and processed cheese, which is what they call American cheese up here.

I guess they have no concept of American.

Oh, interesting.

Processed cheese, topped with spicy abanero sauce, shredded lettuce, tomato, and a crashy, a crispy hash brown, all wrapped in a soft white flour tortilla.

Now, Emma, what did I text y'all?

That some bitch had a kick.

I'm a bit of a heat seeker.

And there actually was a little bit of a burn here, which I was pleasantly surprised by.

Yeah.

I enjoyed this wrap.

I would not normally get the McDonald's breakfast wrap.

It's just not a sort of thing I do.

I don't really want to start the day.

I just feel like it's with a low-quality tortilla.

I'd rather have like the biscuit there or whatever or the McGriddles, but it was pretty good.

The other thing I did is I got a hash browns that we want to talk about.

And I also had a coffee, but the Canadian version I had is the double double, which is what they called,

you're not thinking about it in an outburger, which I know you are.

Coffee, it's a double double is two creams, two sugars.

They have this at Tim Hortons.

I had it at Tim Hortons.

I found it punishingly sweet.

It's also a very white coffee, adds 210 calories, which is a lot to a medium coffee.

And here, I think it was a little better, but it may be just because I like the McDonald's coffee more than the Tim Hortons coffee, but it still was just a little too sweet for me, but it was an interesting experience.

I also got the chocolate brownie muffin.

And Mitch, that's another thing that you got at before little canada um this is a uh a moist lake of brownie with deck and taste of chocolate mix with sweet chocolate chips and topped with crunchy brownie pieces i mean it was just a chocolate muffin i don't think there was anything brownie like about it but it was fine wise well just like you i'm a bit of a chichu de chaleur

heat seeker

and uh

yes is toronto really known as like a friend okay

it's montreal a million times over but I was doing it too, but like that's you made a bit out of it.

Canada has two official languages: French and English.

So we're trying to do it, and you'll see signage will be in both at most places.

Chats instead of cats.

The forgery.

You didn't see that?

The cats and chats.

You don't

shot.

Shots.

Chats, chats, chats, chats, chats.

Now we're talking.

Every feeling.

Oh, that was good.

I too got the

drop.

I too got the breakfast wrap.

Breakfast wrap.

It's a breakfast wrap.

Egg, bacon, sizzle, sizzle.

Give me that mayo, drizzle.

Very good.

Drizzle a mayo.

Pretty good.

Breakfast wrap.

It's a breakfast wrap.

I did one.

Another drop.

Another drop.

Another drop.

Take a crack at a couple of drops.

Send him in the drop king.

He'll have some notes for you.

It's a workshop you can enroll in.

Take a crack like that.

But he gets you, the numbers show, he gets you on the show.

He gets you on the show.

It takes a year at least and a couple of rounds of notes.

Play the game, climb the ladder, work your way up.

You will get on the show.

Speaking of cracks, the crack of that fresh egg going in my breakfast wrap.

There was two eggs in there, Wags.

Delicious.

Yeah.

The kick, there was a kick to that bad boy, to that son bitch.

Yeah, that's right.

And two eggs in there, which I appreciated.

Lettuce, though.

Do you need lettuce?

I did not need the lettuce.

Mitch, that is a great point.

I absolutely did not need the lettuce in there.

Who needs breakfast lettuce?

I generally don't need breakfast lettuce.

It's weird.

Yeah.

You don't need the you don't need the breakfast.

What is the lettuce?

Because my thing today had lettuce and just kind of gives a little bit of a crunch, I guess, but like the McDonald's lettuce is just soggy-ish.

Like it's, there's so few crackles in there.

The shredded iceberg lettuce

usually is like a,

you know, a neutral at best.

Yeah.

If you get bad version of it, like when you taste it, it's like just kind of old.

But if you get the fresh fresh stuff, it works.

It's a little crunch.

The breakfast I liked quite a bit, Wax.

We got it before.

I'm hoping to get some little crunches today when I trick a treat.

With your what?

When I trick a treat this afternoon.

Oh, right.

Little crunches.

You want to join me in the monster squad?

Yes, I do.

You got to pretend to be a monster.

I don't know which one you can pass.

I'll be.

Who is that dashingly handsome monster that everyone loved?

He had a great personality.

Who is that?

I forget.

Leprechaun?

It's Dr.

Jekyll.

Oh, God.

It's Dr.

Jekyll, yeah.

We're going to Little Canada, and we're over at Little Canada.

It's a little bit far.

And, you know,

Hanford, you experienced this this morning.

I'm the guy who's stressing out about time.

Mitch is like,

don't worry about it.

The truth lies somewhere in the middle.

I didn't think we had enough time for you to go to McDonald's to get breakfast.

I thought we had to get to Little Canada.

You were like, you're like, we'll be okay.

It'll take like 10 minutes.

The guy, Jay, who helped us out at Little Canada, who was a delight, absolute delight um as were all the staff there he was like he was like oh yeah it's right there and to me it looked like way far down the block because the sign was small but it was like like a like a five minute walk i said i said start timer i bet you i can do this in 10 minutes which i think i would have been or 15 minutes which i think i would have been close to yeah it was it was i did start the timer it was closer to 22 to 25 minutes but that we sat down

i would have i was gonna get the food and bring it back i would have been back it worked out fine you were correct and i'm glad that jay who was a local and had that local knowledge of the area, guided us through it.

Jay also told us because we said, does breakfast stop at 10:30?

The big daddy question.

We weren't sure.

Does breakfast start?

Does breakfast stop at 10:30 or 11?

Jay was confident that it stopped at 11.

He was like, It's 11.

Like, he just knew it.

And I went over there and he was right.

If he was wrong, I was going to littelize him.

That's what I should do with Quincy.

Littleize it and eat it.

Not eat it.

I mean, little eyes and just kind of see what happens.

You're going to downsize us?

Downsize Quincy?

So we went over there.

We had the time.

Yeah.

We got that breakfast wrap.

I also did the, what was the meat breakfast wrap?

The, oh, shit.

I think it was just a bacon, egg, and cheese wrap.

But there was sausage, too.

Basic, bacon.

There's sausage in there.

I'll look up.

Keep talking.

I'll look up the exact name of the menu item.

Which I liked quite a bit, but it didn't have that kick, that kick from

the egg and hash brown.

And I loved the little hash brown in there, too.

That was a good one.

Yeah, the hash brown.

That was great for texture.

the mcdonald's hash browns little just

uh cut up well kind of like a choke square guy it wasn't like the the it wasn't like the regular well it probably was maybe cut up i guess it was the sausage bacon and egg breakfast wrap is what it was that's the one yeah and that also had a hash brown inside which it was good as hell it was good i love i love that uh the the other thing is that we got is the donuts we got little donuts yeah and they have these little these little guys these they're they're they're just tiny little donuts they're like donuts

i wish they were cute as fuck.

They were cute as fuck.

I wish I had a good Homer Simpson impression.

I so wish right now.

Did somebody say donuts?

No, I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Happy Halloween, Bart.

Be safe outside.

Happy Halloween, Homer.

Have a free beer.

Oh, wow.

A free beer on Halloween.

Hey, Bart, can I go with you too?

To trick-or-treat?

Wow, wow, Mill House is here.

Hey.

Hi, Mill House.

Hi, Homer.

Hey, let's all go.

Hey, it's Bonnie.

I hope we all go to church together on Sunday.

Yes, that's right.

Halloween is spooky, and we...

we need to go worship the christian god yes to level things out homie i'm wearing my holly queen costume

you look very attractive marge oh homie stop doing your catchphrase

and scene wow we're improvisers

you said you gave it up yeah

i can't give it up We got the, we got a, we got the, you got a sixer of these little sum bitches.

The double glaze little donut, the Boston cream little donut, the sprinkle little donut, the cookies and cream little donut, and the maple caramel little donut.

LI apostrophe L donut, which is a lot of fun.

The maple cream, I usually don't like that, the maple cream type stuff.

Yeah, maple caramel.

And it was

like a filled donut, which I was not expecting.

It's pretty fucking good.

Pretty good.

I also like that Boston cream.

Boston cream was good.

Sprinkle was maybe my favorite.

I love sprinkles, and it's, you know,

it's like akin to a birthday flavor.

The double glaze was fine.

The cookies and cream tasted like nothing.

That was the weirdest one.

Yeah.

Said no flavor to the cookies and cream part.

When I moved out to LA, they called me Boston Cream for a while.

They did.

Sorry, I'm looking something up that was pertinent, but I can't find it now.

Hammer, we were in, uh, we were in Boston Pizza the other day.

No relation to Boston at all.

Ooh.

That's right.

But Funny the Way It Is by Dave Matthews band was playing in the very appropriate video.

We didn't talk about the Boston Pizza ads that were playing in the background because

they had music videos that were intercut with their Boston Pizza TV commercial.

Is that a Canadian?

I've never heard of it.

Yes, it's a Canadian chain.

It's very big in Canada.

And they had a one of them was like a, was like someone in like a gimp suit, like, and they were like kind of no, that was the music video.

That was the music video?

That wasn't a Boston Pizza advisory.

Okay.

I was like, what the fuck is this ad?

You were the much music headquarters.

The other one was a Boston Pizza ad, though, right?

Where the one they were doing, like the Night of the Roxbury headshade.

No, that was a music video.

Wait, what?

They were playing music videos you freak i thought that was a boston pizza ad did we was it on the episode ads in their own place

come here more did you tell me that one was a boston pizza ad i mean maybe i you fool i lied to you

Did we do it on the episode when you asked Joe what it was like to wear the mask and I told you it was like when you have a ball gag and a podcast.

I didn't know if we had done it or not, but

this brings up another point to get to,

we were driving over here today, and then

it's funny the way it is, reminds me of this.

You were saying, I don't know Rush, Canadian band Rush.

Yes,

which maybe has been resolved by this point.

We're plotting a, we're recording a little out of suit goats.

We're plotting a Doughboys double episode where I, I, you know, maybe we'll, we'll, we'll get up to speed on Russia's discography.

I do not know YYZ.

I probably have heard YYZ before at some point in my life.

Like they're big.

It's one of their instrumentals.

Yeah.

But you said an album?

No, it's a track.

Oh.

It's off of moving pictures.

See, he doesn't know that well either.

And then in the car, you said, I said, I know Rush.

And you said, you didn't know Tom Sawyer.

What the roast was today's Tom Sawyer?

And you're like, what's that?

Today's Tom Sawyer.

I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

I don't get it.

If you just heard those words, yeah, I would not jump right to Rush.

In the context of a Canadian roast, though.

I don't know what the fuck is that.

It's fine.

Everything's fine.

You know the state Tom Sawyer, mean, mean prize.

Can I prove it any more than that?

No, I believe you.

I don't know why you have to prove it.

Because these people, these Halloween, these people out trick-or-treating and listening to us.

Oh, they'll jump on you for not knowing who Russia is.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Well, don't you think maybe it's time they got something better to do?

Leave Mitch alone.

He knows a lot about music.

Yeah, I do.

You do.

But we all have our blind spots.

I don't know that.

I mean, like earlier when I confused Kenny Rogers with Michael McDonald.

That's, I think that they kind of look similar.

I didn't look.

I didn't know.

I wouldn't know much of anything about Dave Matthews' band if it weren't for you.

So like we all have our blind spots.

Well, we were saying, you were saying, like, with the fifth most known Rush song, would you know the fifth most known Dave Matthews song?

I think Dave Matthews, maybe you would know the fifth.

I might, yeah, but it's also Dave Matthews, I think, was had more commercial success than Rush.

What are Rush's big, like Tom Sawyer and Tom Sawyer's Spirit of Radio, I think, is the radio?

All right, we're going to get into this in a double.

Light's a song, right?

Mindelight, yeah.

We might get into this in a double.

We'll see what happens.

Roll the bones.

Because it happened because it happens.

Roll the bones.

Roll the bones.

We'll talk about it.

We'll talk about it.

Getty Lee has a big.

Roll the bones.

Getty Lee has a big baseball collection, signed baseball collection.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

I happened to see it on Instagram.

It was like, you know, he's probably got a mansion somewhere.

And he walked in this like oak room with all these tons of balls all over the place.

That's so cool, balls in the walls.

He said, Roll the bones appropriate for today's episode, Halloween episode.

Roll, you're right, that's right.

You can just rush, rush to get that candy, kids.

I remember when that bird was in McDonald's, the bird said, you know, my favorite rush song is Roll the Hollow Bones.

That's right.

I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

Because just like you, Mitch, I heard that.

I was like, wow, I wouldn't jump.

Hearing Roll the Hollow Bones, I wouldn't immediately think rush.

Which does bring up the question:

is there some sort of bird rush band that exists?

Well, there, yeah, there.

I looked it up.

There is a bird rush band.

Oh, there is a bird rush.

You know what their name is?

What?

Nest.

Instead of kneel pert, it's a

fly pert is their drummer.

Yeah, oh, because he doesn't kneel, he flies.

And then

Getty B, Birds and the Bees.

Yeah, Getty B.

Yeah, like Birds and Bees, yeah.

And Alex Lifeson

is Alex

Birdson.

Birdson.

Alex

Burtson.

You know what?

The bird kingdom is crazy.

It's crazy.

Can you imagine being up there with all those freaks?

I'm yelling at you.

I threw a fry to the bird and then a lady came and scared him off.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, she was almost kicking him.

I saw a blue jay the other day.

I was in Massachusetts.

I got up early.

I was walking my brother's dog and I saw this blue jay just going back and forth in the street.

And I think blue jays are known to be like very territorial.

Oh, interesting.

And like kind of like mean to other, not mean, like mean, I guess.

They have feelings, but like they like pick on other birds to get them away from their stuff.

You can tell this one was really like running the, I was in a like a sort of

town square, let's call it.

But you could tell he was kind of like running things in the wow.

And I took note.

Was it was it Vlaguero Jr.?

Well, no, but at one point the bird was hitting me with a baseball bat.

Oh my God.

Dear Lord.

Terrifying.

All right.

All right.

Let's get on track.

You know what's crazy about because I was talking to this bird a little bit because the new Zelda game is out, right?

And I was like, in our Zelda, I don't know if you know about this.

There's the, they're the Rito.

Was he like, wait, Canadian or American Zelda?

You're like, no, but I said, no, I meant human Zelda.

I said, in human Zelda.

I said, fair question, understandable question, but I'm talking about human Zelda.

In human Zelda, in the Zelda universe, in the Zelda canon, there are the Rito, who are the bird-like, you know,

anthropomorphic human bird creatures.

And I was like,

do they have Rito in Bird Zelda?

And he was like, well, no, because that's just normal to us.

Yeah, right.

So we actually have

Ito.

They're styled after Judge Ito from the OJ Simpson tribe.

There's a tribe of Judge Ito.

There's a tribe of Judge Itos.

You know who would love that?

Jay Leno.

Let me try out this new Zelda game, huh?

Oh, come on, Jay.

Yeah, they raising gigs.

Get the master sword, Jay.

Come on.

You know, I was talking to that bird.

I was like, oh, there's no drive-through here.

He's like.

I remember, yeah, I overheard this conversation.

Yeah, he was like, drive-through?

You mean fly-through?

And I said, no, no, drive-through.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, we don't usually drive too much.

Some of us have cars, but we don't drive much.

Should we keep going here?

Yeah, well, I mean, with the episode, should we stop?

What do you think, Emma?

I don't know.

You mean just the episode or the whole podcast?

Just like nuke the whole thing.

I think it's actually one of our best episodes.

I think it's going great.

When you guys are done with doing Doughboys, like when you stop doing this podcast altogether, never.

Will you go and like just erase all the episodes from the net?

That's a good question.

That would be cool if you purge them all.

They're just gone for you guys.

We're going to delete everything but post episode 400 that we deleted yeah i like that that's all that exists really oh that also you probably have a copy of you wait you're the only other person i yeah but i i didn't keep it like i just listened to it on the i should have downloaded but i just listened to it on whatever the oh so i am the only one yeah you're the only one you fool you have the power to keep it i know but i didn't think i would be that uh i didn't know the power i wielded at the time so that's what that was susser was pissed because he thought he was the only one who heard it and you were like mike had it

i forgot to

he's like what I thought I was the only one.

Birds have fly-throughs instead of drive-thrus.

Water under the bridge.

Yeah, you know how they get to the airport?

How's that?

They fly.

Oh,

so we had drive-throughs.

Hanford, we had this breakfast on our own.

A couple days later, we meet you at the McDonald's near our hotel.

I have in my notes, a bird came into the restaurant.

Did we talk about that at all?

Yeah, we come on.

Oh, no, we touched on that.

We touched on it all that.

So, we got the big arch.

This is a Canadian exclusive.

It's every feather on that topic.

So, this, so

So they say.

Keep going, Reiger.

So I got a.

This is the Big Arch is two 100% Canadian beef patties layered with three slices of white processed cheese and topped with crispy onions, slivered onions, pickles, lettuce, so onion stewways, and delicious arch sauce served on a toasted

toasted sesame and poppy seed bun.

Yes, this is the thing.

The poppy seeds are added to the sesame seeds.

You get two seeds on this thing.

I was talking to that bird, and that bird was like, where's my bird seed?

Yeah.

yeah two seeds no wonder why the damn thing got him in the building

multiple seeds

you know i got a bird feeder up back this is true i put a bird feeder up back at my house

here in at uh in los angeles yeah and squally and irma are watching them all day long you know you should yeah i got for my mom for her birthday she loved it a little um a little uh it looks like a picnic table that like sticks into the wall or oh yeah sticks into a uh tree and squirrels go up and eat it yeah that's

that's adorable sure

i got a a sandwich for your mom.

It's a good gift.

It's a good mom gift.

Here's the thing.

I would have rather just had a, this is one of those things I'd rather just had a Big Mac or a, you know, two patties, a double quarter pounder with cheese.

I mean, like, this is like a double quarter pounder with different sauce, with two types of onions, with different cheese.

And I just feel like all these different components, all these changes, I'm just like,

it stops tasting like the McDonald's I enjoy.

You know what I mean?

I'm going to say, yeah, I don't know.

Grant, one of the producers at Twisted Metal

informed me of the big arch.

This isn't Hugh Grant, is it?

It is.

It's Hugh Grant.

Is he still

in

his Oompa Loompa

costume?

I met Hugh Grant while I was up here.

Really?

That's cool.

I want to.

Is he on the show?

I want to TIFF screening of Heretic.

Wow.

I went with Patty and Jono from the show to very cool.

Yeah, he wouldn't take us.

Is that the bird?

Patty Atelma.

I was really hoping my impression would just nail.

I thought it was the bird.

Yeah.

No, I just need more.

I needed more.

And I got into

this screening because of

the wonderful Mrs.

Commissioner.

Mrs.

That's right.

Jamie.

Jamie got me into this screening.

Yes.

And

it was a great movie.

I had a lot of fun watching it.

Also, I believe, got you into Megalopolis.

Is that correct?

That is also true.

Yeah.

She did get me into Megalopolis.

She rules.

She pulled a lot of strings.

Thank you, Jamie.

You're ruling.

Thank you, Jamie.

We love it.

Also, for the amazing commissioner certificate we got earlier.

Yes.

And also for putting up with our bullshit when we take away your husband for stupid.

I mean, he also tries to come down and eat a lot of our food, to be fair, but we do take him away from you.

Was he married to a bird?

Married to Evan Susser.

Ah.

Well, we were talking about something coming down and eating our food.

Susser texts.

I didn't realize once Susser and his wife come up, we don't joke at all.

I'm so sorry.

The bird jokes we don't do when.

Not when we're talking about the Sussers.

Now we're talking about the Sussers.

This guy runs a lot of this stuff.

Susser texted us earlier, what are you bringing me back from Canada?

Sounds like he wants some maple syrup.

Yeah, I think he wants some Hawkins cheesies.

We'll figure it out.

Okay, we'll figure it out.

But I talked to Hugh Grant.

I was trying to talk to people.

I was being annoying and I was trying to

talk to the director.

And, yeah, and I was like, What lenses did you use?

I asked him which lenses they used.

Uh, um, I, and I, uh, I was like, I'm gonna talk to Hugh Grant.

I'm gonna talk to you Grant.

And so, he has like a lot of monologues in the movie.

And I, and so, I went to talk to Hugh Grant.

Oh, I know what movie you're talking about.

Yeah, it looks good.

I heard it.

Yeah, and I, and I tapped him on the shoulder, and I was like, Hey, and then they were like, It's Hugh's birthday,

and they were like, Happy

birthday to you.

And it was like you and me facing each other.

I was singing happy birthday to Hugh Grant.

Wow.

I was like, happy birthday to you.

He was looking at me the entire day.

Like, it was fucking weird.

And it was so, it was like the worst timing to do it.

And they sang happy birthday to him.

And then

looking right at you.

And then afterwards, I was like, I finally got to talk to him.

And the lovely

lead actress there, Sophie Thatcher.

Sophie Thatcher, yes.

She's great.

And she was a big fan of love.

And who isn't in these troubled times?

That's a great point.

And so I talked to her for a while.

I finally got to talk to Hugh Grant.

And I said to him, I said,

I asked him the dumbest question.

I said, I said, how do you memorize all those lines?

That's what I said to him.

Really?

Yeah.

Because he monologues like the whole thing

the whole movie.

He's like, just has a ton of monologues.

And he said, it was like learning a dance.

That's what he said to me.

Wow.

How do you, how do you memorize lines?

Because when you audition stuff,

do you have like a

you got a lot of lines you get to do for this season of twisted metal lines?

Yeah, how do you how do you get those in your brain?

Did you just like read, read, read it all?

I read them all.

I'll tell you, I forget them a lot.

You get yelled at all.

Somebody told me, I was asking an actor, like a stage actor, how they memorize lines.

And she was like, you connect them to like movements.

Oh, that's like, oh, okay, yeah.

Yeah, sometimes if you do something that happens, I feel like, do you, do you not have the rehearsal app?

I just, I just, is it the one that where the scrolls?

Yeah, and you, and then you just do the other lines.

And then, so if you're here, I think once you hear the other lines, it it helps you remember so much more.

That's what I do a lot.

Yeah, well

we'll network

always feel like I'm missing a trick when it acts in sketches or that's the hardest I was like I can never get fucking remember all this shit.

How do I keep all like keeping a whole sketch in my head was such a challenge and then you see watch someone do a play is like you're doing a whole play how do you remember all that shit but you know what acting is maybe one of the hardest things to do

but then when you're doing a play like you do it every single day yeah that's got to be also a challenge to like right to not just be like like do them as if they're nothing remember i guess where the craft that's where the the craft comes in.

I guess so.

Remember, we did hot dogging?

Hot dogging was the

big first show.

Great show.

And we did that so many times, I think I could still do that show now.

I know

if I got like the lines leading up to stuff, I might be able to do it.

I don't, maybe not.

What's going on out here?

What are you boys doing?

That's the first line I got.

Get out of here, Mitch.

That's I didn't know the line.

We're doing something.

That's the old lady who's a pop.

He's in the sketch.

What?

Wait.

Anyway, I met Hugh Grant.

Oh, cool.

Oh, Grant.

Grant, one of the producers for Twisted Metal, great man.

Yeah.

Insane that his name is Hugh and it's happy birthday to you.

That's a tough.

That's crazy.

Happy birthday to Hugh.

It kind of works.

If you forget the guy named Hugh's name and it's

a birthday, you can sing happy birthday, dear you, and it kind of you can get away with it.

Yeah, you get away with it.

Yeah.

I mean, you're not going to know that.

You're not going to know that you got away with it until maybe later.

And someone's like, that was Hugh Grant.

I was like, oh, shit.

Do you know my name?

Or is it just that you sounds like you?

I know your name, but I don't know your age.

Grant was like, hey, there's this big arch.

He was telling me about this big arch.

Yeah.

And you're like, yeah, in St.

Louis.

I fucking know about it.

It's common knowledge in the United States.

Which their mascot is a bird, Cardinals.

That's true.

Yeah.

The red bird.

The red bird.

Yeah.

But the bird in the restaurant toilet said that was his favorite baseball team.

Oh, if the one at McDonald's today, not the Blue Jays.

He doesn't like, he's like, he likes the, he's like, I don't like the Blue Jays, like the Cardinals.

Damn.

Maybe the territorial thing or something.

So Grant said the big arch.

He said, you got to try the big arch.

And I was like, I'll wait for you to try it.

I got drunk.

I tried it that night.

Yeah.

I didn't wait for him.

I felt bad.

Sorry, Grant.

And do you know what else, Wags?

Yeah.

It's It's what, it was the thunder and lightning night.

That same night.

Wow.

Creepy.

And so

I ate it and I kind of loved it the first time I had it.

I ate it.

Like, look,

guilty as charged.

I don't think it's as good as a Big Mac.

I like a Big Mac more.

It's a little too beefy.

Le Big Mac.

Le Big Mac.

We talked about this.

We got a really non-beefy Big Mac today, but

we talked about the burgers at Harvey's and how they just kind of have like an Angus thicker taste.

Yeah.

Like you can taste the burger?

Did you ever go to the Sex Workers Harvey?

I'm going to say this.

This is not an appropriate term anymore, I don't believe, but they called it the Hooker Harvey's.

Did you know about this?

No, I don't think I've been to a Harvey.

I think I need to see

that.

She knows what we're talking about.

We brought up a couple of Harvey's logo.

I can't really picture it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, if you Google Hooker Harvey's, the address will come up on Google.

It's like even Google knows it as.

Okay, all right.

I'm just looking at the Harvey's.

I just don't know if we're going to have time.

Let's go tonight.

Okay.

Sounds like we should try.

I mean, we got McDonald's already.

I just like

we already got a Harvey's.

Well, maybe we'll do something nice for dinner tonight.

There's a lot better food that we haven't eaten in this.

Yeah, I just want like a fucking salad or something.

All right.

We'll figure it out.

We'll give you a salad and we'll get you out of here.

It's not like it's.

I've eaten more food in the last 24 hours than I normally do in like a week.

We went to Lee Restaurant last year.

We had a lovely dinner.

We had a lovely dinner last night at Lee Restaurant.

I think that kind of works for me as like the big dinner of the trip.

You're getting out before he's celebrating my birthday.

We're not going to celebrate my birthday.

Jesus Christ.

I knew this was going to be a fucking thing.

Oh, poor.

Oh, what a complaint that he doesn't want his friend to celebrate his birthday.

You know, who is going to?

This friend right here.

The man.

And he's excited about it.

We're going to see Joker.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, hey, that one.

Whatever you want to see, but I thought that would be.

No, but that's nice.

Just enjoy your salad alone.

That's a good birthday celebration for me, you piece of shit.

We can go have a nice.

I just, I thought we had a nice dinner last night.

We can go have a nice dinner every day.

Let's go have a cone.

Why don't we have a cone?

I'd love to have a cone.

I love getting some ice cream.

We went out and got some ice cream a couple nights ago.

It was a lot of fun.

Have you gone to Eva's yet?

No, I haven't.

That's on my list.

I want to go.

I haven't gone yet.

It's so good.

Is this a creamery?

It is a creamery, but it's Eve.

What are the cones called?

I forget what they're called, but they're like...

Chimney cones.

Yeah, they're like a pastry kind of cone that they wrap around something and bake, and then they fill it with ice cream so it's not

kind of deliberate

it was the best thing i ate at the x i ate at the x and it was fantastic we went to summer's and we had ice cream uh anyway all right get back big arch big arch i i i think our i think our verdict has made me kind of split well what did you what did you feel that the second time eating it um

i like it i think i like i mean i like the big mac more the big mac is just perfect yeah and this is like a fun it still has a good mcdonald's taste it doesn't taste like the burger doesn't taste that different no the burger i taste mcdonald's it's it's it's true it's just like like enough components have been changed where it starts to feel like something else entirely to me.

But I like the big arch sauce.

I don't know.

I think it's all right.

I think the thing that absolutely did not work, which I wanted to try because I saw this on the menu available and I was like, I'm amazed that this is available in Canada by default, is the Big Mac no meat.

I've never heard of a no-meat thing ever.

Like it's always the no-bread.

substitute.

No, you get a Big Mac no meat and it is three buns, sauce, cheese, and lettuce.

I was mad at you when you ordered it and then I was mad when I ate it.

Yeah.

It was truly bad.

It was really awful.

It was bad.

Yeah.

I mean, it just.

I didn't try it.

You need the beef in there, turns out.

But you said it was better than eating plain hot dog buns.

It was better than when we did, you know, we did a dog dough bark fest, a month-long deliberation of hot dogs and pet dogs a few years back, and I was not eating any meat, and I had just buns all month.

It was a better experience than that.

I can't remember his sketch lines, but

I can't remember an episode we did a month ago or two months ago uh i'll say this yeah you can't necessarily say that it's bad because it is like all the components of being back but it's just like the lettuce is so on display it's like eating a lettuce sandwich it stops becoming it stops being a menu item it's just like its own thing it feels like the beef is more just like more of a texture or consistency thing like it would feel weird to bite into something that's just

yeah right yeah i don't know uh

and then you got the sweet chili junior chicken yep your taste buds will be singing a whole new tune with a remix sweet chili junior chicken made with canadian raised crispy seasoned chicken topped with crunchy shredded lettuce, tangy sweet chili sauce, and Mayo-style sauce, all on toasty bun.

Your Taste Buds sing a different song?

Yep.

They came in singing the

American National Anthem, and I was singing the Canadian on the way out.

Anyway,

we can edit that out, I'm sure.

I'm not sure we have the technology.

No, no, no.

No, it's got to stay in, baby.

All right, that's fine.

That's fine.

I just stumbled because I couldn't think of what the American National Anthem was called.

The Star-Spangled Banner.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, we love it.

I got the chicken sandwich, the habanero sauce was the kicker there.

Yes.

Do we know What Wise?

Do we know who wrote O Canada?

Because Francis Scott Key wrote the lyrics to,

you know, a Star Spangled Banner.

I don't know if

who's the author of the O Canada lyrics?

That's a good way to look at that.

Question.

Francis Scott Key.

That may have been.

Hmm.

I have to think for just a second.

Because if it's Francis Scott Key, I'm looking at

America.

Think about that.

Yeah.

It's probably

Francis

Scott Bird.

Fob.

I just looked it up.

You want to know who it is?

Yeah, who?

You guys are going to kick yourself when I tell you who it is.

Yeah.

You don't want to take a guess?

Alanis.

No.

Damn.

She's way too young.

You got one?

You're going to be shocked.

Are you ready i'll i'll guess uh is it someone we would know like we've heard this oh you would know who it is we would know who it is 100

tell me who it is who is it dudley do right

that's crazy i would argue that the animators actually wrote the song then what are you talking about

he's based on

oh nothing big just that uh dudley do right is a tune

I would love it.

Like, I've said before, and I'll, this is probably a platform I'll run on when I try to take over Quincy.

We need to get these tunes off the street screens and into the streets.

I want to see these little guys.

I want to see the Smurfs.

You want some sort of Roger Rabbit society.

I can get behind you.

And that movie set us back so many years.

I know.

Because it doesn't have to go down that way.

Yeah.

Oh, Canada.

This guy's going to originally.

He's a big dip guy.

Go ahead.

I love the dip.

Oh, Canada

was originally written in French.

It's a French-language song that was adapted into English.

Sir Adolph Basil Rothier wrote the French version, and then it was the most famous English language version is by Robert Stanley Ware.

So there you go.

I don't know if the listeners will like this episode, but I'm having a blast.

I'm having fun.

They'll learn a few things about birds at least.

Did you like that sandwich?

That I liked.

I had a bite of it.

It tasted pretty pretty damn good.

It was pretty much what they do in the U.S., but that sauce was the best.

Yeah, the nice little tangy cake there.

Best is the wrong word, but it was nice.

You also got a cheeseburger and fries.

Yep.

How did those compare to their U.S.

counterparts?

Fries, exactly the same.

And cheeseburger, yeah, pretty much the same.

Emma, you got yourself a double cheeseburger.

Yeah.

How'd you like that, some bitch?

It was delicious.

And

Mars, remind me what we brought over to you.

Was it the BLT?

It was their belt, their bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato.

What I love that they have in the McDonald's Canada menu is they could do things on bagels, on like a sesame bagel, everything bagel.

I think they're out when you guys.

So I just got on the McMuffin, which isn't as good.

Was yours a breakfast?

Yeah, okay.

How was that bad boy?

They were doing breakfast and lunch when we were there.

Well, mine's a few hours old at this point.

But usually when it's fresh on a bagel, it is quite nice.

However, it can be really hit or miss.

Sometimes if the bagel is like freshly toasted, it's great.

Sometimes they toast it too hard and it can be a solid rock.

So it's really on both ends of the space.

The lettuce, too.

The lettuce is always a question mark.

You never tell.

I think I like the lettuce.

It adds some freshness to all the yellow and brown too.

Do you have a favorite bagel?

Everything bagel.

Do you have a favorite?

Is there like a good bagel scene in Toronto?

Is that more of a Montreal thing?

I love a Montreal style bagel.

I've actually been on a quest to find the best everything Montreal style bagel.

And my current favorite is at bagel time.

Bagel time.

In Toronto?

Yeah, in Toronto.

Super light bagel.

They're kind of sweeter.

I could eat like three of them and I still won't be full.

I think every time I have a bagel sandwich there, I always think, damn, that was a really good bagel.

Wow.

Is it a big, is it a big like eating three bagels to me seems like a bagel is too big to eat.

I just rotate.

No, they're quite small and they got a big hole to them.

So I need snack on me.

Oh, there you go.

Burger time video game, right?

Yeah.

It was a video game.

Yeah, Peter Pepper, the chef, was trying to build giant burgers.

Oh, it was Peter Pepper.

By stepping on the stuff to make it full.

Not particularly sanitary.

You know what?

He must have been littleized because those burgers were way bigger than him.

That's probably what happened.

He went to Lil Cannon and got littleized, and he was like, Well, I got to monetize this thing somehow.

I'll make some burgers.

Because that was in game, that was like an arcade game in like the 80s.

There was an arcade game in the game.

Yeah, so that was before you could big-eyed stuff.

They wouldn't have big-eyed burgers.

There was no way to big-eyed.

You think he was just in there?

You think he was just in the machine?

He was just in the machine.

He'd be like,

Well, that's the thing.

They're all in the machine.

And then at night when

the arcades close, they go to a big game central station and they hang out.

Oh, right.

Yeah, they like talk.

I like Zane Geef, you know, gets to chat with Sonic and so forth.

Okay, so the...

Hold on a second.

I got to say, bagel belts are a thing here in Canada.

I haven't had a bagel belt.

I know you can get one at Tim Hortons, but bagel belts.

Bagel belt.

Can you try wearing one through Queen's Park and

the squirrels next?

Have you seen the squirrels are all black?

Yeah, that's

cool.

Yeah, it's cool.

I've heard the black squirrels will attack you.

Isn't that a thing?

Is that true?

I have personally never been attacked or seen anyone get attacked, but if you are like on a campus where people are known to feed the squirrels, sometimes they get a little overconfident.

They'll make me like jump out of you.

I mean, I do remember being able to, especially in Queens Park.

That's Queen's Park, right near.

Yeah.

I'd have to cross that to get to most of my classes.

Yeah, the squirrels would come right up to you.

Wow.

I told you, I saw some foxes on the University of Toronto Coast.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Little red foxes.

Very cute.

We talked about it on a video.

We talked about it.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll post the video.

I got to check out bagel time.

Always bagel time for me.

I'm a big bagel fan.

All right.

So the other Canadian exclusive thing we had was the poutine.

Rich and tasty gravy,

melty, mouthwatering cheese curds on our world famous fries.

You better believe it.

So here's the issue with the poutine, Mitch, and you articulated this well.

It just wrecks the key element of the McDonald's fries,

which is the crispy texture.

And Emma didn't hear us making that point.

She made the same point just a minute later.

Yeah.

Oops.

No, no, no.

Me not listening at lunch.

What?

No, I mean, I'm saying

I made this point and then you tried them and you made the point too.

I mean, it was gross.

They just get kind of mushy, but this is the thing.

I've had poutine, I think, four times, maybe five times

while I've been up here.

This was my least favorite execution of poutine.

I think the curds were not melted enough.

I thought they were just kind of like inert.

I thought the gravy was just like lacking in flavor versus some other ones I've had.

And I've just also just, give me the, give me the, if, if you're not better than the default, why fucking bother?

And I'd rather just have the McDonald's fries as they come.

It's like, it's the way McDonald's does.

Remember when they would do like pizza?

I never had it, but it's like, I could imagine what that is.

Same way with the poutine.

I was like, I can picture what this is going to be when it comes out.

Just a mess of like subtracting the qualities of everything else.

One other issue.

It's not called McPoutine.

Come on, write McPoutine on the packaging.

What are we doing here?

I get it.

Yeah.

I get what you're saying.

Big mech.

And the thing, though, the frustration on top of that is that there is a fry varietal we were more excited to try, which is the McShakers.

They have a ramen McShaker fries, Tsitsiki McShaker fries, Churro's McShaker fries, and Masala McShaker fries.

This is like a spice package that comes and then you put it into the bag and you shake it up.

You know, there's some other fast food chains.

Tommy's used to have something like this.

Tommy's a good burger.

That's a really I do like that Tommy's burg.

But they did not have this in stock at this McDonald's and we could not figure out how to order it online.

And again, the McDonald's Canada app is locked out for Americans, so we can find another location with it.

But we did get the Smarties McFlurry and the Reese's Chippets in Fudge McFlurry.

These are two Canadian exclusive McFlurry varietals.

We don't have Smarties as Canadians know them in the States.

That is a tablet candy, a sour candy in the U.S.

It is the chocolatey M ⁇ M analog in Canada.

And I thought the Smarties McFlurry was delightful.

I liked it a lot.

You didn't like it as much as an Eminem McFlurry.

And I think this is where we disagreed.

At first.

At first.

It was so, the we talked about this.

The texture of the Smarties, they're very crunchy.

Yes, the chunks like splinter into almost shrapnel.

Yes.

And so up top, I mean, I know this too happens with the M ⁇ Ms that they get hard in the McFlurry,

but the shell is so crunchy up top.

I still think I do like the M ⁇ M Flurry.

I wonder what you'll say, Emma, more so.

But I,

as I ate it more,

it wasn't mixed.

And when I was going down lower and I was getting just a little bit of

the Smarties, it was better.

There was just too much up top.

The snacks, here's what I was saying: there's a snack size, and there's a regular.

I was like, we're sharing this.

We got to get the regular.

So

I was wrong.

We got the regular of the Smarties McFlurry and we got the snack size of the Reese's Chippets and Fudge McFlurry because I wasn't going to have that one because I had peanut butter chips.

The snack size was more than enough.

It's pretty big.

It's big, but it also comes in packaging where it's like kind of folded paper.

It's like a kind of a different sort of, I assume, less wasteful versus the plastic cup that we get in the U.S.

with a big plastic straw.

And I actually really liked it.

I thought it was fun to eat out of.

It was cool.

It almost looked like

a Chinese food to go carrying it.

And top like that.

Yeah,

with a cold sweet cream inside.

And I look, I thought that McFlurry was delightful.

I really enjoyed it.

If you haven't noticed the ban on plastics in Canada,

in all these restaurants, we get wooden spoons and forks and the

wooden.

There still seem to be.

You can't get plastic.

I think it's good.

There still seem to be a lot of plastic water bottles and plastic soda bottles.

I'm kind of surprised those are so pervasive, but I guess it's like one step at a time, and we don't have any restrictions like that in the state.

You put them in bags.

You put the milk in bags, put everything on the bags.

I guess that's still plastic.

I like cans.

Give me fucking cans.

Glass is first.

Back to glass.

Glass is great.

Glass is great, but if you don't have glass because people are going to break glass, fine.

Give me a fucking can.

You can't go wrong with glass.

You can't go wrong with glass.

Including the movie.

Great movie.

That's true.

Saw it with Buster Rhymes.

You see Shattered Glass?

No, I'm great.

You saw it with him in the theater?

He was in the theater.

I told you this.

He was sitting like this.

I stepped in between his legs and I said, thank you for everything you've done.

And he shook his hand.

And I left.

He also snored during the movie.

And then a guy whispered, it's Busta's birthday.

Good to sing to him.

I still like the McFlurries.

Look, I liked the big arch.

Shout out to Archie Acton, Chankton's dad.

What's up, Chankton's dad?

Big Arch.

I liked the Big Arch.

It was,

honestly,

the real loser of today's lunch, actually, the real loser of everything I've had

was that poutine.

The poutine was a bummer.

Yeah, the poutine was a bummer, but everything wasn't good.

It just doesn't work at McDonald's.

And I guess it's...

Mars, have you had McDonald's poutine?

Is it a thing?

People don't get it.

I would refuse it.

It truly seems like it's just meant for tourists who want to just try some poutine and they go to mcdonald's and but it's crazy because it is like it's like the value menu you can get it with fries or with poutine it just seems like it's it's it's yeah when you get a combo you can upgrade to poutine but it probably costs them very little to do it i mean it's it's just mcdonald's fries are we've said this before i mean it won the tournament it we mcdonald's fries were the best items in the mcdonald's tournament yes that's right crispy hot salted fresh mcdonald's fries everything from mcdonald's that one yeah like what we did with the that i did with the taco bell yeah it was was that we did the same thing with McDonald's.

Every menu item at McDonald's and the fries one.

And I think for good reason.

When they're hot and fresh and good, they're the best.

Yeah, they're one of the reasons to go to McDonald's.

And this, yeah, it just takes away a lot of it.

I couldn't even tell if they were salty.

You know what I mean?

It just is.

Well, and I also had AW poutine over the course of this trip, you know, along as Harvey's poutine, Swiss Chalet poutine, but the AW poutine in particular was like really good.

And the cravat food poutine, it was, it was delightful.

And it's just like night and day better than McDonald's.

Wait, what was delightful?

The AW poutine.

The Harvey's poutine was better than McDonald's poutine.

Yeah, definitely.

They were all this is the worst poutine I had up here.

Yeah, for sure.

She said that, yeah.

All right, we should get to our final thoughts.

Handman, you've done the podcast.

You know how this works.

We'll just go around.

We'll give it from zero to five forks this particular chain.

We're talking McDonald's Canada, Canada only.

Your thoughts on McDonald's Canada, your fork score.

I mean, this is one of the McDonald's is one of the tops.

I didn't have anything that was, I mean, I had some of your guys' stuff, but my order,

I'm going to have five forks.

Wow.

It's McDonald's.

You know what I mean?

It's like the, and nothing didn't, everything I had didn't taste different than

the U.S.

It only added value was like the

that habanero sauce, which I said I liked.

I'm going to go and I will, Mitch, I'll have you back clean up because you've had a little bit more time with McDonald's Canada.

I think you might have some more thoughts.

I'm going to say this.

I thought that some of the Canadian exclusive items were not as exciting.

Some of them really worked for me.

The overall experience of eating at McDonald's Canada, I feel like, is just a little bit more hospitable, a little bit more

like, yeah, yeah, sanitary than

you went to the bathroom.

That bathroom.

Really?

My bathroom?

Yeah, we were in different bathrooms.

Mine was decent.

Well,

you didn't do the night experience when the lights go out.

I'm assuming your listeners probably won't have that experience.

I went to two different McDonald's, and I only used the bathroom at one McDonald's, not the one we went to today, but that McDonald's bathroom was occupied for a while.

I was ready for it to be a disaster zone, and it was fine inside.

It was pretty clean.

They couldn't leave because it was so nice.

And then there's just like a nice tableau.

There's like flowers outside.

You know, it just, it just feels like a nicer part of the world.

It seemed like all the kiosks work.

The kiosks were all functional.

I always have a problem on those things.

Either like, I don't get a number or they just don't work or yeah.

Yeah.

No, that, that was all, that was all very functional.

I thought the food quality was great.

And, you know, didn't you say when the guy finally came out, it was Grimace?

It was Grimace.

Yeah, he was in there for a while.

Yeah.

But he was

all white.

He was thin and white.

And the toilet bowl was fucking pitched dark purple.

Oh.

Sorry, man.

Don't tell my boss.

Ronald's.

At the end of the day, it is McDonald's.

And I'm going to go for McDonald's Canada.

I'm going to go with five forks.

Hey, didn't you say

the birdie?

Birdie?

Remember when the bird came in?

Oh, yeah, he was like, I'm Ronald.

And we were like, you're not Birdie?

All right, Mitch.

I give it five forks.

What do you think?

So, okay.

We're judging this based off of McDonald's Canada.

Off of the Canadian side of the menu.

Items.

Yeah.

Canadian items from the menu.

Yeah.

It's a tough one.

When we went over there, I just want to quickly go over what I had.

I had an orange juice.

I had a double-double as well.

I had those two breakfast wraps.

I had the chocolate brownie muffin and we did those little donuts.

Yes.

Today I got a Coke.

I want to try the McDonald's Coke.

I will say,

the American Coke is better than the McDonald's Coke.

I threw the recipe Coke away.

It wasn't spicy like I wanted it to be.

Do they not have the same cartridges that we have in the States?

That's interesting.

They might not have the special cylinders.

I had a Coke Coke Zero, which I wish they had at American McDonald's.

They generally don't.

My Coke Zero was a nice pour.

I've had a regular Coke there like three times.

I've got a cool Coke thing to tell you when Mitch is done.

Let's hell it right now.

Okay, you know those Coke, those freestyle machines?

Yeah, yeah.

You know how Coke every once in a while, like this summer they had a flavor that was like, it wasn't even like a word, like a fruit flavor.

It was just like a, it was like called Dazzle or something stupid.

Those

freestyle machines are used, like they track the info on what people are getting.

So they're basing these new flavors off of like the testing of like what

yeah, like that's all connected to uh us.

So there's computers that are getting like grape raspberry orange.

Yeah.

That's a popular combo.

And they're like, all right, well, let's

play with it and tweak it better or something like that.

So what is going on?

It's not a fun thing.

It's just like

Coke used to be so fun.

Yeah.

And now they're just taking your

idea.

You're blowing this wide open.

How did you get this info?

What was that noise?

What was that noise?

What was the chimes?

Hold on a second.

How are you getting?

How are you getting?

I heard it on a podcast.

You heard it on a podcast?

That chime, which even comes on when I'm on set, is Wages.

Here, you want to.

Who was out the bullshit detectors?

I made that shit up.

It's my bullshit detector.

That's real.

That is, I heard that on a podcast.

I love it.

Wages, what that is, is that

when I was up here,

my place almost got broken into as you

so I have a a camera set up.

So if there's if there's anyone in my backyard, my back little backyard stoop, it knows because the the place just a couple down from me, which is connected to my place,

got broken into.

They kicked the window in and robbed it.

And I was on set.

My phone died.

And I was like, hey, my phone died.

I said this to Samoa Joe.

And I went home and I plugged my phone in and I got a text from my neighbor that was like, dude, there's a guy robbing our places.

Your light's on in your house.

And I was freaked out.

I saw my neighbor saw.

And

if they do that, Wally Nirma will get out and I'll kill them or myself.

So

I have now installed a thing that no matter what, if there's any movement in my backyard,

I will get a chime no matter what.

The sound will go off.

What was that one?

So is that okay with you, why?

So who's in your backyard?

Yeah, I live in your backyard.

Well, squirrel.

Guess who was in my backyard?

Word must have gone around because

there was a bird in my backyard.

Wow.

He's right in the camera.

He looks right into the fucking camera.

Wow.

Did you send me that?

Of course, I'll send it to you.

There's no birds or birds around there.

He is close to the lens.

You know what, Mitch?

Get yourself a Blue Jay.

They wouldn't be high-stepping like that.

This guy is looking right into

my freaking place.

Into the camera.

Well, you can use this for Asauras and acting lessons because he's looking right at the lens and you see how bad that is.

You don't do that yourself.

You'll be all right.

I do oftentimes look at it.

I'm like, what's going on in there?

And I also now know that it's like a dance.

Learning your lines is like a dance.

Sure.

I like that.

I'm now videotaping this.

Okay, cool.

What's your fork score?

Oh, it seems like he wants me to get to my fork score.

Once this video is recorded, I will pick it back up.

I have to do it.

If you want me to have the video of the bird, I got to do it.

Okay, here we go.

Even though I probably shouldn't dox myself by releasing this video.

I will say that, like, for this, for this dumb podcast, if your chime goes off, your chime goes off, it's fine, whatever.

When you're on set, you probably should mute your phone.

I think that's probably good practice, and I think that's probably a degree of paranoia if you're not letting yourself.

It never goes off.

And it like hardly, it rarely ever goes off.

But has it gone off like during a take or something?

Not yet.

I keep it in my chair.

Okay.

But if it went off during a take,

would the set pick it up?

Would like it sound you able to hear it?

Yeah, maybe.

So there could be a stunt going on.

If it's in your chair and it goes off and everyone's like, ah, it's ruined.

It hasn't happened.

It's not going to happen.

Why don't you just mute your phone?

My phone is muted.

That's the only time.

Why don't you change the settings so that it doesn't like to be- You're not understand what I'm saying.

The only time my phone ever will make a noise is if there is movement in my backyard.

I understand what you're saying.

And that's, and that is for me.

But I'm saying to not keep that unmonitored for any stretch of time, for you to not be able to, willing to have that be silent for any stretch of time.

To me, that seems like you're maybe being a little paranoid.

So I would just say, like, Mike, the place next to me just got robbed.

I know, I understand.

It just got robbed.

I know, I understand.

While I wasn't there, and if it happened, the cats would have gotten out.

So that's all it is.

Okay.

I don't think that that's that crazy.

It hasn't been an issue on set at all, and it never will be.

If I may lighten the mood for a moment, who let the cats out?

you know what i mean not you you know what i mean after when you think about it it's it's like who let the cats out you know what i mean

no one no one's letting the cats out that's the whole point of it and it is fine and i don't take my phone with me to set why because there's a thing called the green room that's where i keep my phone in the green room at all times anyway to get back to my mcdonald so you can't even hear it so why not just just mismute it because i keep it on for when i'm in because one it never happens again

the fact that i picked up a bird is weird.

It never, ever happens.

So this chime is never going off.

Okay.

It's weird that it went off now.

But if someone's in my backyard, I'll get that alert even while I'm sleeping and I'll know that someone's in my backyard.

Right.

So the other thing is, and you have to keep it on to have it on.

Okay.

The other thing is, is that I don't take my phone to set.

And if it does go off, I can go back and there's an emergency alert on your phone that lets you know.

So you see that there's a, that you've got an alert while you're away from your phone.

Yes, exactly.

Anyways, Anyways, to get back to my score, no, what you're right.

I'll just let someone break into the house and let them catch up with your fucking people.

You break into your house.

I'm just saying.

Will you just go back to fucking California?

I'll be there tomorrow.

I'm getting the fuck out of here.

Fuck out of here.

Just checked us into our flight.

Fuck yes.

Check to see if there's earlier flights.

Get the fuck out of here.

We don't like it.

I love this city.

You're just a visitor here.

I live here.

I've lived here for almost three months.

I love this city.

He works here.

i work i've been having a great time this city uh i like to say you know you you earlier you were like is this a top five city you kind of said it like kind of like almost cynically to me i was like is it even a top five city for you i think it is a top five city for me i think of toronto as like as like a nicer like like a uh less harsh chicago yeah like chicago that's its charm a little bit of his uh the the food and like the um uh what was the cowboys what's the what's their fucking football team the bears

the bears the bears exactly the cowboys What the fuck am I talking about?

But it just feels a little more rah-rah and like fun and drinking town.

Yeah.

This feels like a low, just like a commer.

I like

chick functionability.

I like Chicago a lot.

I've obviously spent a lot more time in Chicago.

I think Chicago would be, you know, with one of my top five cities as well.

I don't know how to rank them exactly.

I'm loving my time in Toronto.

Look at what lovely Chicago.

By the way, just to get back to my alerts.

Yeah.

The alert only goes off for a person.

It doesn't even go off for movement.

Seems like it comes out for birds, too.

And that's it when the phone thought the bird was the camera thought the bird was a human.

Because it was so big in the frame.

It was.

And it looked into the camera.

Wow.

Give me all your stuff.

So if I could just go back to Chicago for a second.

I've been to Chicago three times this year.

Wow.

And I'm going back for the Sloppy Boys are playing.

Listen to this.

The Sloppy Boys are playing a New Year's Eve show in Chicago.

How fun is that?

That's going to be like three sets.

We're going to bring the ball down and everything.

Chicago, New Year's Eve.

Be there with a Sloppy.

Come on.

I mean, Chicago, I love the Chicago fans and stuff.

Yeah.

They're always so funny.

Two psychos.

But it's also a city, if you look at the,

if you look at the architecture, it's like a lot of big, robust, like big brick buildings.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

It's like the whole city is like, just like solid.

Like Toronto, too.

It's just some great walkable areas, some great public transit.

I love taking the L there.

But that's the big thing.

The elevated train there.

I love taking the

train, the metro in, in Toronto as well.

And to me, that's just a big part of like what I like about city is just being able to walk around it.

I like Toronto.

I gave it a hard time in the first episode.

I like Toronto quite a bit.

Yeah, I was with the Wolfman and the Monster Squad, and we took a picture in front of the bean, and he got really sick.

Well, the Chicago bean, I wasn't putting together.

Right.

Well, here I am telling the silver bean.

Here's the big silver bean.

The big silver bean.

I know it is Millennium Park, but whatever.

You should have saved all that stuff for your plug section.

We have a part of this podcast where you plug stuff.

I got a ton of stuff to do.

We'll edit it in there.

Back to my score.

Yes.

Now that Wax has grilled me on the thing about protecting my cats.

Here's back to my score of McDonald's.

There's some stuff we didn't try.

The McShakers, which is the stuff that's talked about, the McShakers.

The Firecracker Chickens, which were out.

They were on the kiosk, but they were out.

We couldn't get them.

There's some sort of orange, like an orange drink.

That's kind of like a, it seems like an orange sherbety drink.

I don't know what that was.

Because we cannot find it on the menu.

I don't know who, who described that to you.

Maybe it's gone.

Maybe it's gone.

But there were a few things that we could not try, unfortunately.

But McDonald's.

But McDonald's is McDonald's.

Yeah.

And when there's a bird in there, you haven't even.

And you know what?

It's a bird-centric day.

And

you know what?

I don't think McDonald's is for the birds.

I think it's for everyone, including the birds.

They got the big worm, as we talked about.

It's true.

They got a side of flies, as we talked about.

We don't have to go back over all the menu items.

They have a drive-through.

They get a fly-through.

They have a fly-through instead of the drive-through.

I did a Coke, the big arch.

We did the poutine.

We did the two extras.

We covered all that food.

Five forks.

Wow.

Wow.

So, wait, the highest fork score getter.

So, wow, Toronto.

Wow, Platinum indeed.

Welcome to the Platinum Play Club.

Wow, Platinum.

Wow, Platinum.

Wow.

Wow.

Is she a just answer to me?

Is it like she's a a robot in the movie?

No.

No.

Or droid or something?

So it's not even that type of movie.

So I don't even know what even

when I see it.

Yeah.

All right.

Wow.

Wow.

Pick Megalopolis.

But wow, Platinum.

What's Megalopolis?

It's for all of you who are dressed up as Megalopolis characters tonight.

I'm sure you're going crazy.

Yes.

Ooh, what a what pop culture person would you be for Halloween this year?

Based on just this year.

Jush Burman from Megalopolis.

Hoctua.

Haktua.

Haktua would be a good one.

Haktua would be a good one.

Does she have like a look, though?

You kind of almost need like a word bubble that says like I spit all that bang.

Yeah, I'm like the Hawk Tua person.

You know what?

If people are going to start referring to me to Hawk Tua, you hear me coughing over here?

Hawk tuna.

It's funny because I was talking to the bird and he's like,

it's like, yeah, we say hawk tuna because we have hawks and then we like

tuna.

You see us in the trash with these little tuna kits.

We love it.

Hawk tuna.

What's she up to now, the Hawk Tour girl?

You know, we're a podcast.

If you're going to podcast,

talk to us.

Talk to her.

That's a good name.

And then

instead of spit on that thing, they say

spit up into your baby's mouth on that thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That thing is the baby.

It is the baby.

Five forks all around.

Congratulations to the high fork getter of

Toronto Doe.

McDonald's.

American American Chain McDonald's.

Their Canadian outpost.

You know what?

Congratulations to Hawk, dude.

Congratulations.

Oh, boy.

Hey, it's time for a segment.

Super producer Mars has picked out some snacks for us to try.

It's time for Tim Burton's Mars-a-Snacks.

Wait, hold on a second.

Yeah.

Don't we also have a...

Is it Tim Million?

It's Tim Hortons.

No, we're doing this.

We're doing Tim Burton's Mars of Snacks.

Why wouldn't it be Tim Horton's Mars-a-Snacks?

We got the quiz.

We'll figure out the quiz.

Well, imagine what we're yelling two things.

I want to yell at them next.

It could be Tim Horton's Mars to Snacks, but I feel like that's a hat on a hat.

Yeah.

What about the slob quiz?

What about fucking the snacks that Mars got?

We're doing this.

You can just say that line and

we're doing these.

We got hickory sticks.

We got hickory sticks original and hickory sticks salt and vinegar.

Ooh.

Here you go.

I've been in the salt and vinegar chips.

Mitch here's the salt and vinegar.

So, Mars, you got these?

Original.

Well, Wager was asking me for some suggestions on more snacks you guys can try.

And you guys have already covered many great Canadian snacks.

And this was one that was left on the table.

Hickory sticks was a classic snack to get on Halloween.

A little different than your regular potato chip.

They don't give them out at houses.

They give you a little bag of hickory sticks.

Yeah, like a little bag of hickory sticks.

These are my hostess.

The more you eat, the more addicting they are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ooh, wow.

So they are just potato chip sticks, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hickory stick is a better way of saying that, though.

Yeah, you kind of remind me of a hickory stick.

These are real thin little.

See if I can hold some up for the lens.

These are real thin

kind of haystack sort of they look like the French's potato sticks that used to come in the blue can.

Yeah.

That's what I got recently.

I got some of those like in a blue can, right?

Yeah.

I got some of those recently.

They were fun.

My grandma used to give me the hickory.

Me too.

This is like a very much what grandma.

But I've never heard them call hickory sticks.

That's a cool name.

Let me try those salt and vins, Mitch.

It's also a savory hostess snack, which I don't think you see very often.

I didn't realize hostess had a savory side.

Zero trans fat, zero groms trombs.

Those are real good.

We actually got some smaller bags if you want one for over here.

Oh, sorry.

All right, we got, like, we had the salt and vinegar.

So Amelia wrote up a slop.

We'll do the quiz.

That's pretty good.

I think, for the purposes of we're up in Canada, where's some snacks we can't get in the States?

This is like, you know, while we're physically up here, I think we could do the quiz at any time.

That's good.

Isn't it Canada-themed?

Oh, the originals.

Yeah, but we'll do the quiz at some point.

The originals are um

are like barbecue-flavored, they are, yeah, they've got they're not just

plain.

Do they do a bunch of flavors

and vinegar working for me?

I was only familiar with the original.

Um, the salt and vinegar is actually new to me, so I'm curious to try that.

I assume the barbecue flavor kind of comes from the hickory, like the hickory, like

don't you use hickory chips to smell it?

Oh, that might be it, yeah, that would make sense.

That's good, those are good, those are good.

I like those bad boys, me too.

Snack, Both snacks aren't.

Mars is snack.

Yeah, Mars is next for sure.

Are you a fan of Mars Attack?

Never seen it.

Wow.

Wow.

Interesting.

Is there any Mars movie you enjoy?

Mission to Mars, Red Planet?

Mars Attacks is almost like Megalopolis with like the all the celebrity actors.

It is very much so.

Like that was a movie that was just like Jack Nicholson and...

Yeah.

And you know what happens to Jack Nicholson?

Jessica.

Yeah.

He gets littleized.

He does get a littleized to some degree.

Does somebody turn into a chihuahua someone turns into a dog yeah they put they put the i think serious parker's head on that dog

series

very fun fun movie great movie cool movie

uh mars you're also telling us about ice wine what's going on with ice wine yeah ice wine so i'm someone i don't really enjoy alcohol too much uh i just not really great with the taste of it but at the airport i will often get ice wine which is um wine grown kind of near the Niagara Falls region.

It's like grown with grapes still frozen or it's like made out of like frozen grapes.

It's a dessert wine.

I find it to be incredibly tasty and just really, really delicious.

So it's something I'd recommend if you're ever in Canada.

That's cool.

Mars, I had some.

What did you think?

I loved it.

Where'd you have it?

The Gretzky Vineyard.

Dude, Gretzky had ice because I saw Gretzky's wine at the LCBO, the Leer Control Board of Ontario, when I went inside.

I didn't find it in the wine store, but I was like, I was looking for ice wine specifically.

Gretzky had a vintage, but it was just Pinot Noir.

I had some ice wine at the Gretzky Vineyard.

Wow.

i told wise did you go to the vineyard yeah was he there i told wise this we talked about this in the last episode but they they pour the wine on the counter and then they take a hockey stick and they slap into your mouth yeah

you should go to the uh hockey hall of fame it's fun i did i went to the hockey hall did you get to play the play the goalie and shootout thing oh i didn't i didn't do the goalie thing but i i because i read the entire there was a hundred years history of the bruins i read the hundred year history of the bruins i put on just like on the wall yeah it was an exhibit wow that's funny i saw the exhibit b the what's that exhibit b i remember the ruins or the ruins that's fun they call them the bees there was a little stanley cup room and i don't think there was a real cup but it was like yeah i think it's a i think it's a replica probably be a replica yeah hey that was tim burton's mars of snacks just like a restaurant of all your feedback let's open to the feedback i gotta say guys i i should not have worn this because it's like it's still pretty cool in here but i'm still just like so

I'm just like getting overheated.

So I'm gonna, I know we're almost done here, but I'm gonna take this off.

You just take it off.

You're speaking in your most natural or natural tone.

I just don't see like anything that's missing.

There we go.

Let me bring anyone's attention.

This is

what's going on here.

There we go.

Oh, my God.

There's more.

Yeah, baby.

There we go.

No wonder why.

No wonder.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God.

The freaks are going to love this.

Oh, yeah, there we go.

No wonder why I thought you were wearing a fat suit.

Yeah,

extra clothes on the side.

Leaving your pants and your ankles is a very good choice.

a little lewd, I guess.

I'll take the shoes off.

Look, for an audio listener.

Look for Wagger.

I had a long-sleeve Canadian tuxedo that I took off to reveal the short-sleeve Canadian tuxedo underneath.

This was a bit I was going to do in the live show, and then here I kind of lost my luggage.

This would have been gangbusters on stage.

You lost your luggage.

If you did that live, guarantee me they'd lose their lunch.

I said he lost his luggage.

You've got clean audio, so use my clean audio.

Don't use me explaining this because now it's lost.

I said they lost your uh luggage and if you did that live the audience would have lost their lunch i like that a lot that's good that's real good can i say this last night we we had dinner at lee restaurant great dinner

lovely lovely meal uh mars you were saying you were still stuffed this morning i was

steaks and stuff or what uh it's it's asian fusion i would say

french chinese oh okay and so uh i was also stuff this morning when we ate mcdonald's it was way too much uh

But last night, Wigs,

Alana, she was passing

these strips.

They fell down into your lap.

That's right.

And I grabbed them out of your lap.

You said I was trying to grab your hog.

You know what?

Yeah.

As far as trick-or-treats go, it was a trick to me.

It wasn't much down there.

Damn.

Damn.

You built that thing up for years, and then I finally got a taste of it.

Wasn't that impressed?

Wow.

This is a good look.

This is very funny.

Oops.

Also, the haircut's looking good.

Thank you.

I saw you.

What was the just too hot?

Yeah, I mean, I kind of was just kind of getting tired of having the same haircut forever.

And then I had the longer hair for a while, and then it got shorter.

And then I had it shorter, and I was like, just my normal style that I had for most of my, you know, adult life.

And I was like, oh, man, I'll go back to the buzz cut.

I had a buzz cut since I was 18.

I don't think I've ever had a buzz cut.

Let me tell you, it's a liberated.

It's a small, kind of a small head.

And now you're all now you can go out trick-or-treating a sling blade.

French fried potatoes.

Just like a restaurant.

Value feedback.

Let's open up with the feedback.

Today we have an email from Jesse H.

Jesse.

Writes, Hey, this is fitting for our Lee restaurant experience.

What has been your favorite food experience while working in Toronto?

What food will you miss when you leave?

Mitch, you spend a lot of time up here.

What are you going to be missing when you're down back in the States?

That's a great question.

Take a look to see if there's a restaurant that's still around.

Because I have a couple of answers

that I can think of.

You know what I'm going to know what I'm going to get when I'm down in the States?

I'm going to look for some rotis.

The roti.

Sure.

Yeah, the roti was awesome yeah roti was really good um

hmm i want that eva's chimney cone again um

i'm gonna miss the that that you can just get poutine even though i know that's more of a montreal thing i think that is a nice thing that you can get every so often i haven't had it a lot but just knowing that you can get it it's kind of fun isn't it yeah it is fun especially with the winter months coming up yeah um

the chocolate you know getting coffee crisps on set i think that's another thing that i'll that i'll miss uh i don't know i've eaten a lot of set food wise So, what is it for you?

So, kind of a two-part question.

Oh,

your favorite food experience while working in Toronto or like convening in Toronto, and what food will we miss when you leave?

Favorite food experiences, we get meal

at Lee Restaurant.

I can't remember the name of the Caribbean place we went to, but that was a lot of fun too.

Licklemore's.

Miss Licklemore's.

Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

That was a great Caribbean meal.

But for me, it's AW Crunch Buddy Burger, just because I'd been so excited about that thing.

And when I finally got to have it, I was like, this is delightful.

I got to have it still.

It's so good.

It's really good and it delivers.

And also, just having AW Canada again and not having to be like, I have to review this.

I can just enjoy this was great.

But the meal I'll remember the most is Mars taking us to Toduno.

This was such a wonderful experience.

It was such a great communal dining experience.

It was super memorable.

And it was just like the fish was so fun.

It was

so flavorful.

The garlic rice was delicious.

And also just like, it was so, it was just such a

unique sort of dining experience in the city that I was not expecting.

So that was great.

Thank you so much for taking us there.

Yeah, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

For anyone listening in Toronto, it's called Tinuno.

Very reasonably priced too.

It's like this huge feast.

Yeah, $25 per person, which is fine, you know, for a nice meal out, you know, not too bad.

Yeah, super fun.

Just a little hole in the wallplace.

Would recommend getting reservations just in case.

But yeah, I love that spot.

Yeah, it's great.

Cool.

Yeah, your number one experience was the place I wasn't with you at instead of the big restaurant we had last night where Mars was still.

And

Atlanta, everyone you were with at that other restaurant.

That was great.

That's a great restaurant.

That was a wonderful meal.

But there is something about like, oh, this is like what you're saying, more of a hole in the wall.

This is more of like, I'm putting on plastic gloves and I'm eating garlic rice with my hands.

I'm picking, we got a whole fish that we're all sharing.

Like there are parts of that experience that were just so...

you know, different from

sitting down at a nice restaurant with a white tablecloth and having some craft cocktails.

It's just like a different sort of experience.

Yeah, just very tactical.

Very primal, just eating chicken with your hands and all that.

I like that.

Yeah, that was awesome.

That was great.

Van had a party like that one, probably

prepared.

Profit boy.

That was great.

But if it was the same thing where you're just like picking things apart and it's all spread, like they just dump it on a table.

That's fun.

That was great.

Well, I was going to say, you know, one of my favorite meals was the last night at Lee Restaurant with everyone.

That was a great meal.

No.

I think I'll choose Prime Seafood Palace with Samoa Joe and his family.

That place looked awesome.

I have one that I remember from when I went here like 20 years ago.

Dimi Bar and Trattoria

in Yorkville.

Wow.

Yorkville is very close to here, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's just like an Italian food place.

And I was, you know, 19 when I was eating this, so I don't open it.

Is it still open?

Yeah, it's still open.

But I remember I'm up there in Yorkville.

Like my,

yeah, when my parents came up, I think we went there.

It was like very much a like restaurant where you go and you get the gnocchi and the fresh-made pastas and stuff.

It's good.

You're going to text me though.

Text me that info.

Here's something I won't miss.

Iced tea being sweetened by default.

I want my unsweetened iced tea.

I don't need the sweet tea.

I don't need the nest tea.

I want like an unsweetened iced tea.

I really, that's a refreshing beverage, and I'm not adding to my calorie count with some liquid sugar.

But the thing I will miss, and this is like one of those things, we're just generally a more functional nation, a more functional society with better infrastructure.

When you pay with a card at a restaurant, like a sit-down restaurant in Canada, they have what's called the machine, which is they bring a remote pay station to the table, and then you finish the transaction on your own.

You tap or insert your card.

You select a tip electronically.

You can print out a receipt if you want, but you're handling your own card.

You're doing the transaction, as opposed to in America, you're giving your card to a server.

A server has to take ownership of it.

They have to go, you know, run your card.

They have to bring it back to you.

And then you have to, like, there's a whole rigor rule.

There's like two extra steps.

And, Emma, you were saying from a server's perspective, having to handle other people's cards.

My least favorite part.

That's a whole thing that like for the servers as well.

So like the machine is a thing I miss.

I love having the machine at Canadian restaurants.

I don't understand.

I'm seeing it more and more in New York at least.

I'm seeing it more, but not every place.

But yeah, I love it.

Anytime I can even order food, pay for it at the counter, and then go back to my seat.

I mean, it's a different type of restaurant.

Yeah.

But that's always the best when you're just done and yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just let me handle the transaction.

And it's also, I'm sure it's more secure, too.

So I'll even do something sometimes, no matter how they're paying, when I get my food, I'm like, and I'm just getting this.

So like, let's do the bill now so I can get out of here.

Yeah.

I'll add to it's incredibly easy to split bills in Canada because they'll just pass the machine to every single person.

In America, it's very frustrating because like most places just don't split bills.

And so you're figuring out like Venmo and all that, which is like a huge frustration for me in America.

And so in Canada, it's just so much easier, which I really love about it.

We also wise, we went to a bar last night, Civil Works.

That's right.

We had a cocktail together.

You were, it was midnight.

You were, you hadn't been up that late in forever.

I should never go to a second location.

I'm too old.

You're falling.

You're not too old.

Yeah.

My mom stays up.

We can have a drink at midnight.

You're fine.

And I don't think she's old.

I'm too old.

Well, I'll tell you something that I'm going to miss.

Yeah.

There's two things that I'm going to miss.

One, getting an ice-cold mug,

not root beer, an ice-cold mug of A ⁇ W root beer.

That's right.

And that cold, frosty mug.

Those are nice.

With some A ⁇ W in it.

Fantastic.

Delightful part of the experience.

Delightful.

Yeah.

And for me, I'm going to miss something quite a bit.

Ooh.

Nando's.

Bad, Nando's, yeah.

A chain you did not get to try while you were here.

It's true.

You've never had Nando's.

No, I haven't.

I

became the Nando's kid.

I love Nando's.

I was walking to Nando's every day and I was loving it.

And I'm going to be sad to see it go.

What's Nando's?

Chicken?

Chicken.

Yeah, Perry Perry chicken.

It's a UK chicken.

I've had had that recently, Perry Perry chicken.

The cheeky Nando's, they say.

Oh, I've heard of this.

Nando's.

Yeah, Nando's.

I think, yeah, Ben told me about this.

Yeah, yeah.

Love Nando's.

Walking over to Nando's about 0.7 miles away from my place that I'm staying.

Okay.

So I do, there is only really one.

So I'll put it 0.7 miles away.

Boxing yourself further.

Go find Mitch.

This comes out on October 31st.

I shouldn't be here much longer.

It's only enough longer.

It's enough time to get, I guess, tuck taped to a radiant.

I'm going to miss, I'm going to miss Nando.

I'm going to miss Toronto.

I like Toronto.

That's you were here for a nice for the summer.

It was very nice up here, too.

Yeah, it was nice.

It was actually hot when I first got up here.

It was the first couple of days we were shooting.

It was like fucking hot.

Weather's been lovely for the week we've been.

I remember going to early classes, like an 8 a.m., 8.30 class, which is insane.

And it being like the coldest I've ever been in the wintertime here.

Yeah.

Like walking across, again, walking across the park and just be like, oh man, this is too much.

That's it.

Worse than Ithaca?

Yeah, it was rough.

It was ice cold.

That's the thing.

Like a long time.

If I was up here in the winter, I'm sure I probably would be singing a bit of a different tune as someone who's lived in Southern California his whole life and is used to that biome.

Let me just say another thing.

And this is a thing we've all talked about, but just like,

the strangest experience for me is going into a train station and not smelling urine.

Yeah.

Like none of this train, like I have not smelled

the stench of human piss for an entire week.

And I think it's the longest I've gone in my adult life without smelling urine while just walking around.

It's so strange.

People don't just pee in the station.

Yeah.

You haven't smelled piss for an entire week.

They left your luggage back in L.A.

You bought new clothes.

Put a few things together here.

I took the subway to JFK to get here.

And

the C-line, I was waiting on one of the stations.

The P-line?

And it should have been the P-line.

It was like, I was like, this is just piss that I'm like standing in and smelling and adding to.

And you know what?

That's what our country's all about, though.

We miss it there, Wagner.

Hey, it stinks, but it's.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go to.

That's 830-463-6844.

And hey, to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Hey, buddy Mitch, you know, and

you know, we both wanted to do Toronto.

We both wanted to do this thing.

And to everyone out there, I hope you enjoyed it because it was a huge pain in the ass.

Hey, and we burned through all the money we made from the live show.

So

I just hope you like it because welcome to our house, folks.

It was a pain in the ass to have you.

But I did like the city.

We did it.

I did like the city, but it was a logistical nightmare and it cost us a lot of money.

You're stressed.

You're ready to go home.

I'm ready to go home.

You're annoyed at me.

I'm annoyed at you.

Yeah, I'm not annoyed at you.

Oh, yeah, same.

I'm annoyed at both of you.

I'm getting annoyed with Mars all of a sudden.

Mars

up to here with you and your antics.

I do want to have some acknowledgments.

I do want to take a second to thank some people here.

First, I want to thank Mo up here at Podium Studios.

Podium Studios in Toronto.

If you're looking for a space to record your podcast,

this is a newer space.

Check it out.

Are you going out tonight for Halloween?

I'm going to dress his pony.

I'm going to drive St.

Michael, one of my favorites.

He's very Christian.

I want to thank Atlanta Johnston, The Knife, and Norm Sousa for guiding us through the city, both here and from L.A.

Atlanta and Norm were absolutely essential in making this all happen.

Shout out to the Knife's parents as well.

Shout out to the Nice Parents as well.

Special thanks, of course, to super producer Mars, Marissa Melnick, for being our on-site producer.

Mars, you've been a huge help that just absolutely made this whole thing happen.

Do you have any plugs?

I also produce Nicole Byer's Why Will You Date Me podcast, a very funny podcast that both Mitch and Nick have been on separately and very drunkenly together, I think, on a live show.

Oh, boy.

In Chicago.

Oh, man.

Their podcast is very excited to be coming back to Headgum.

We're going to be doing video podcasts soon on our YouTube page.

Wow.

So, yeah, that's what I'd like to plug.

Thanks.

And thanks, of course, to our producer, Emma Erdbrink, and our associate producer, Amelia Marino, who's back in LA now.

But all of the prep, all of the amazing work you did up here.

There's no show without you.

So thank you so much.

And I hope everyone who enjoys this

knows how much everyone who works behind the scenes helped this.

And thanks also to Casey Donahue, our engineer and our video editor, Mike Dorfman, of course, and our guest, Mike Hanford.

What a delight to have you.

I'm so glad we were able to get you on the show.

Come on.

I will travel anywhere

for free Mickey D's.

No, yeah, thanks for having me.

I love being up here.

I love it.

Seeing you guys and love being up.

See, Mitch, too.

I haven't seen you in forever.

I know.

And Wager, you know, you're a

shadow-like figure.

I can never get a good handle on you.

The tall man, though.

The shadow man.

So it's Halloween.

Are you going to go around your neighborhood and do Slenderman again?

You probably have to do it up here.

I'm on the clock.

I'm going to see Hanford's show.

I mean, now it's going to be too late.

Yeah, it'll be.

But you guys promote it with that.

That's true.

You guys do it.

At the end of the live episode podcast, there is a nice little song from Hanford.

If you clicked out of the episode, Torily, you missed it, you dumb idiot.

Lovely Diddy.

Lovely Diddy.

I'm going to see his show tomorrow night, and then he's going to hang out with me on my birthday on Sunday.

How fun is that?

Handman Any Plugs.

Yes.

Come see the Sloppy Boys.

I'm in the band The Sloppy Boys.

We also have a podcast.

We've got a tour coming up in November.

I believe it starts November 22nd.

We're going from Vancouver, Portland, Seattle, San Fran, and L.A.

So we're doing a little run there.

And this is a live podcast recording.

Wow.

We've only done one in Chicago.

It went great.

Again, Chicago is so great.

So we're doing live podcasts.

Wow.

New to the Sloppy Boys

thing.

And then I'll be playing.

Well, it's fine.

I'm doing stand-up in New York, Boston, Florida, Philadelphia, all coming up in January.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, there you go.

Mitch, what a fun month we did.

What a fun month.

Thank you, Toronto.

Thank you, Toronto.

And hey, that'll do it for Toronto, Doe Canada, the Great Byte North, a month-long culinary tour of the six.

Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger.

Happy eating, eh?

Au revoir.

Bye.

Hey, buddy.

Want Dough Boys merch?

We're talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff, aprons.

It's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash Doughboys.

That's kinshipgoods.com slash Doughboys.

Sources for the intro are in the episode description.

Basketball game crusty and the day's just getting started.

Now, kicking it with my crew.

When I need a quick snack, GoGo Squeeze Active Fruit Blend with Electrolytes pouches are always in the starting lineup.

Made with real fruit and select electrolytes.

And mmm, so tasty.

From workouts to hangouts to whatever's next, I go with GoGo Squeeze Active.

Snag Yours on your next store run, available on Amazon.

That was a Head Gum podcast.