Do or Dice Live Tour - Live in Seattle 8/21/23

Hey, you!

Driving in your car, working in your studio, getting your nails done?

Ooh, love that color.

Yes, you.

What if I told you you could be California's newest superhero?

You don't need a fancy Cape X-ray vision or a sidekick.

You just need to sign up for PowerSaver Rewards.

That way, when you save energy during a flex alert, you get a credit back on your energy bill.

Visit powersaverrewards.org and become a super power saver.

Capes optional.

Dungeons and Dags is brought to you this week by the Adventure Zone.

The Adventure Zone Royale.

If you don't know, oh, you mean these guys are the

OGs?

These are the OGs.

You know what this is like?

This is like if fucking Babylon 5 did an advertisement for Star Trek.

We don't exist without the Adventure Zone.

This podcast wouldn't exist without.

We wanted to do this because we listened to the Adventure Zone.

Yeah, exactly.

The Adventure Zone's the RPG podcast from the McElroy family.

They're changing some stuff up.

They're doing shorter seasons and episodes every other week.

So you get new stuff more often and you can catch up easier, too.

Right now, Griffin is back in the GM seat.

They, like us, have switched around GMs over various years.

They got tons of seasons you can check out.

But this season, Griffin is DMing DD 5th Edition.

Justin and Travis and their dad clitter there.

It's called Adventure Zone Royale.

64 wizards from across the land accept the challenge of the Royale and hope to claim the ultimate prize.

But only one will win.

The rest meet a different fate.

Right, is it death?

If you don't know what any of the things we just said are, The Adventure Zone is a podcast where a family of three boys and their dad play D ⁇ D in a really funny way that, at least for us, we had never seen happen before.

It was like critical role in Adventure Zone, and Adventure Zone was so much more in our wheelhouse of tone that,

yeah, it kind of indirectly inspired us to go like, you know, we could probably do something maybe.

So if you like us at all and want to hear

essentially a better version of it,

if you want to be the archaeologist digging down to the original fucking society that birthed the perverted hedonism Gomorrah that is Dungeons of Daddies, then definitely go back and listen to season one Balance.

Find out by subscribing to The Adventure Zone wherever you listen to podcasts.

In just a minute, you're going to be hearing the first live show from our Door Dice 2023 tour.

This was up in Seattle, Washington at the Neptune Theater.

If you want more live shows, including the two live show streams we did during the pandemic, as well as video and audio of both the Seattle and Portland shows, you're going to want to support us on Patreon, where you'll get all of our live shows, as well as numerous one-shots and bonus features, all as part of your subscription, patreon.com/slash dungeonsandads.

All right, enough of that.

Time to listen to the show.

Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups.

And this is a live show.

So who knows what's going to happen?

You know, Seattle, let me hear you.

What's going on?

Welcome back on stage, the one and only William Campos.

Let me hear it from Mal Arnold, everybody.

Is there a bad man in the house?

And finally, let's hear it for the one, the only Anthony Burches on the L.

D.

L.

Woo!

Damn.

A lot of nerds in here tonight.

How's it going, Seattle?

How are we doing tonight on a Monday?

Everybody, everybody find parking okay?

Are we good on parking in the U district?

We all good?

Okay, good, good.

Well, thanks so much for coming to the show.

What a great show.

Good night.

Let me keep my cool DJ set up, dude.

Dude.

Sorry, Matt, Anthony, and I are out of breath.

We had quite the intro there.

Trying to figure it out.

You need some time to recover.

This is Don't Just Live.

This is the first stop on the Do or Dice tour.

What do you think about that?

Yeah!

And you know us, nothing planned.

Just flying by the seat of our pants.

Anthony.

You have something for us tonight, something special.

Would you explain to the kind folks gathered here today what we're up to tonight?

I don't have just one something special, I have six somethings special.

Most men only have two.

So, the way this is going to work tonight is I've prepared six different one-shots that all have something to do with the daddies.

And in order to figure out which one of those one-shots we're going to do, we're going to rely on our lady of random chance.

So,

if we roll a one, we will be duping.

Daddy babies.

No.

A two means my daddy, my daddy, and me.

What the fuck?

No!

Jesus, Anthony.

You're bellicorous.

If we roll a three, we are doing something called blood in the water.

Ooh.

Ooh.

If we roll a four, we're doing something called dread.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Worst one-shot possible.

And number six is werewolf.

How come everyone always

asks werewolf and never how wolf?

So, the way this is gonna work.

Does this just have a copy of werewolf in it?

Don't worry about it.

So, what we are going to do is, Freddy is going to toss the D6 into the crowd.

If you would kindly pass it all the way back, and then you pass it this direction, and then you pass it this direction, and then throw it back onto the stage.

All right, but I want to be clear, everybody.

Hold on, everybody.

Relax.

All right?

Be fucking cool.

This is a vinyl D6 I bought on Amazon before I got you.

Just don't hit each other in the face.

Just bop it around.

We're adults here.

We can handle that, right?

Can we handle that?

Can we be cool?

Fuck up.

Here's what I want.

I want this dice to go back.

I want this dice eventually to get back on stage.

However, it gets there, please.

God, nobody gets injured.

We are not insured for that.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Don't back.

Don't back.

Get it back.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, not yet.

No, no, no.

There we go.

There we go.

There we go.

Last one.

Bring it up.

Bring it up.

Hoys.

Oh, wait.

Don't touch it.

Don't touch it.

Down the stairs.

Wait.

Six.

So while I unfurl this, would you like to introduce yourself?

Let's introduce this podcast.

You guys ready for a little podcasting?

This is Dungeons and Daddies, a show about four dads flung into the forgotten realms in the quest to rescue their lost sons.

Season one.

We're doing season one.

My name is Freddie Wong, and I play Glenn Close, the rock and roll bar dad of the group.

I'm going to pander if you guys don't mind.

Is that okay?

Go, go.

Please do.

Glenn's dad fact for tonight.

Glenn's Dick's order is

shameless pandering.

Shameless pandering.

And hometown hero Freddy Juan pandering to the audience.

That's right.

That's right.

And we all gonna go to the Wallingford one after all this, right?

Yeah, okay.

Glenn's Dick's order is the Glenn's Deluxe.

What it is, it's a hamburger, a special in the middle, tartar sauce on top of the special, another hamburger on top of that.

It's a rebuild of the Dick's Deluxe.

But one piece at a time, each component consisting of other burgers.

And then Glenn continually tries to get the poor folks over at the Dicks on Capitol Hill to be like, hey, hey,

can we put the Glenn dude?

I didn't hear Dick's order.

I heard disorder.

I'm like, finally, we get to learn what it is.

What is it?

Anyway, you can't order it at any of the dicks.

They are not taking that as an official off-menu item.

Hey, everybody, my name is Matthew Arnold, and I.

Yes!

Hydrate up.

My name is Matthew Arnold.

I play Daryl Wilson, the stay-at-home, not soccer dad, just sports dad in general.

Yeah.

All right, little known fact about Daryl.

Since we're doing our live show, I thought we'd talk about Daryl's favorite live show he's ever been to, and it is every time he gets to watch Grant practice soccer.

He's a good dad.

May not seem like it when you listen to season two, but

like to think he was a good dad.

Hi, everyone.

I'm Will Campos.

I play

I play Henry Oak.

He's a hippy-dippy crunchy, munchy, Berkinstock rock and granola nature druid dad.

Granola Druid!

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

You're a granola druid dad MC, dog.

MC.

MC.

Henry's favorite spot in Seattle is the REI Co-op.

REI, of course, being the Respect Every Iguana Co-op.

Which is really a big iguana coop.

They just call it a co-op.

Where, you know, iguanas are like the number one friend of rocks.

They bathe on rocks all day.

And Henry's all about that, so he always goes out to REI.

They also have a giant rock that they put the iguanas on.

Terrible, Will.

Hello, everybody.

My name is Beth May.

Beth.

Beth.

I'm gonna.

Could you pretend?

Could you just pretend to not have a favorite?

And I'm gonna say this.

I'm gonna say this.

I'm gonna say this.

Beth.

Mark my words, Beth.

If you throw down that, I can't hear you, you're off the podcast.

We're gonna do this one together, though.

I play Ron Sampler.

Yes, an emotionally detached stepfather and rogue.

Fun fact about Ron is

that Ron always keeps his phone in low power mode

because women deserve all the power.

Hi, I'm Anthony Birch.

I'm your dad.

Yeah.

Soak in that adoration.

I was going to come out here and do some very cheap heel stuff and be like, oh, I can't wait to leave this place, just like the supersonics, but

yeah,

that's the energy I wanted.

I want you to like me, but not that much.

Okay, so because we rolled a six and got werewolf,

we are going to play a little game.

So you are all, just to clarify, everybody is, their characters from season one and Peyton is around.

And

I didn't hear anything from Payton.

Is there Payton here?

Hey, Payton, but

sorry.

My name is Peyton Bennett.

I've a former champion three times of the unfortunate Foster Children League.

And my dad fact is that I love

Seattle.

So

without further ado,

the full moon casts long shadows.

Yeah, that's right.

It's starting like this.

That's what we're talking about.

The full moon casts long shadows across the cold, hard Feyrune ground.

I look so tall.

Look at the shadow.

Sorry, sorry.

I won't do that.

That's the last one.

I promise.

That is not the last one.

That's all for that.

You huddle around the campfire for warmth, the flickering flames reflected off the white plastic of the Honda Odyssey.

Paint a picture.

Roll perception.

Ooh,

right away.

Five.

Thirteen.

That's a 21.

I seven dice.

It's fine.

Oh, you know what?

I also forgot to mention.

at one point during tonight, if you wish for somebody to re-roll a failed roll or get inspiration for it, get advantage for it, here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go, inspiration, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, inspiration, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, inspiration, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

All right, I'm gonna roll again.

A six.

You get to do that.

once tonight.

Was that Zach County?

So you get to choose, as an audience, you are going to all subconsciously choose when you want that moment to happen.

So don't fuck it up.

I'm sorry.

People in Austin fucked it up.

Yeah.

We're dead.

We're going back there.

Anthony, I have a five, actually, plus 14.

I'm now looking at my character sheet.

So 19, 19.

All right, so that is going to mean that Glenn and Henry, you hear something in the underbrush surrounding your camp.

That's probably a raccoon or something, bro.

I think, I don't know.

I'm going to just, I'm going to just go get it i'm gonna go see what it is i'm gonna i'm gonna aimlessly wander away from the group on this spooky night i'm feeling really good i'm gonna explore a little bit you need a forest buddy bro yeah you want to be my forest buddy yeah cool good

i needed to pee should we tell the others where we're going they're sleeping look ron and daryl are spooning it's so cute

I can never seen him sleep.

Never seen him snooze.

You're asleep.

You're asleep, Daryl.

Why does Ron have his tongue in Daryl's ear?

Huh?

Mayden, that's just what some men do sometimes.

That's, you know, and it's just part of how men love and respect each other.

I can't wait till I grow up.

I'm going to proceed.

Oh, Ripperoni, right?

Yeah.

Spoiler alert.

I'm going to go ahead and creep up to the bushes.

Okay.

So within the bushes, you see...

There's a fly just crawling on my head.

Oh, yeah, there's a fly on your head right now.

Sorry about the flies out there.

He's, hey, he's one of Mother Earth's creatures, Matthew.

I'm trying to help.

You see

two yellow eyes poking out from the darkness.

And are you going to do anything about that?

Well, no, because again, like, maybe it's a mama bird, like a nightbird with its nest.

So I wanna like, I just have a nightbird bird.

You know, one of those night birds.

Yeah, it's a night bird.

I'm like, Clement, this might be a night bird.

Oh, this could be a really spec.

Like, you know how some like real nature perverts get really whispery whenever they're around an animal in the wild?

What?

What, Henry?

You're pissing.

I'm pushing piss right now.

Just be careful, okay?

There's a beautiful nightbird here.

I'm just gonna try to sing the song of the nightbird.

I'm gonna try to coo softly to the night.

All right, roll animal handling.

All right.

This is right up your alley, Willie.

That's a four?

That sounds about right.

You hear the following.

I don't think that's a nightbird.

I don't know about this.

Hey, Henry, I don't know about this, man.

I thought you were pissing.

Are you done pissing?

No, weirdly, no.

This is like a long one.

Hurry up and piss.

You know, you can't stop.

You can't just pinch off the flow, dude.

Just don't you do it.

I'm building a dam in the middle of a river.

But don't you do Kegels, bro?

What?

Literally, no.

I'm going to teach you about Kegels later, and your girlfriends will thank me.

I don't know if I want that, Henry, but okay.

I'm just going to do another perception check.

I'm nervous.

I'm gonna just see if I can see any more about it.

That's like a that's a

17.

Okay, so with the 17 you can see that it is a wolf.

What you cannot tell

it's a beautiful wolf.

It is a beautiful

earth.

You can see the fur on the back of its head is

raised.

You can see that it is feeling a little bit scared and a little bit on edge.

Oh.

Henry.

I'm gonna cast.

I have a fireball.

Why don't we...

Fireball.

No, Daryl.

Why don't we...

Give me a second to think about what I'm gonna do.

Why don't we cut back to like maybe Daryl and Ron are stirring awake, you know?

Maybe one of them's half-masked from the top.

I didn't say that happened, Will.

So it doesn't happen, Will.

This stuff usually gets all edited out, this infighting.

Yeah, it's a really different podcast in person, guys.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'm gonna cast speak with animals.

Just with animals.

Perfect.

I was hoping you would do that because then you hear.

Hello.

Daryl wakes up.

Did you hear that?

Oh, I just had the most beautiful dream.

What was it, bud?

You were there and you were there and you were there.

Oh, wait.

There's just the two of us.

Hey, where did they go?

We should go find out.

She went out to go piss.

Oh, hey, what's up, bam, bud?

They didn't invite me.

Did you hear like a well yeah that's not a thing you invite people to bud do you need to go pee always invites me i'm always i'm never not that's my secret captain i'm always peeing whoa

what where do they go they went this way towards the plot oh

well

oh ron now that we're awake should we head towards the plot what'd you say i said you want go to where they are Oh, to the plot.

Are you?

Yeah, let's do it.

Yeah.

All right, bud.

So you hear out.

So in the dream.

Oh, what was the dream?

No, that's good.

What What was the, oh, sorry, Ron, what was the dream?

I didn't mean that drug.

It was this purple portal, right?

Oh.

And we went towards it.

And then I woke up.

What do you think it means?

Do you think maybe

you should just,

I don't know, just talk to your wife more

and figure out,

like...

You got to find something.

You got to find something that satisfies you if you're going to be home all the time.

I'm sorry did you have to go pee

what did you let's go pee let's go find Louis

Pee all right we're going to pee boys party all right boys night boys night this is great I can do it while standing up go ahead go ahead yes boys boys

we gotta be really quiet there's an ooh woo werewolf in the what in the bushes there's a a woo-woo werewolf hello

oh

we wanna kill it

no ron wait sorry no can we hear it or is it just Henry?

Henry can understand what it is saying.

You can hear it howling.

Only Henry hears.

Hello.

I know it sounds scary, but trust me, it's got a cute little voice.

It's just a sweet little guy.

Will you help me find my mommy?

He wants us to help him find his mommy.

Oh, bud.

Hey, hey, Wolfie.

And I put my hand out, you know, the way you're supposed to approach a dog, like open palm,

below its chin.

Okay.

It's not threatening.

Why don't you roll animal handling?

Oh,

my specialty.

is it that

animal handling doesn't mean jerking off

thank you for the compliment

oh well you walked right into that one bro uh i'm pretty sure my hand i i can't it's uh 14 plus i'm sure it's like four or five so

what's the hard d and d crunchy numbers these people came to see

it looks like you're playing a sudoku on there roll sunset i did i rolled a 14 okay and my and my my animal handling i remember because you know i remember the show.

It was like a four or five, because I was good at minivan.

Okay, great.

Um, okay, so the the the the wolf very attentively comes out and licks your hand just a little bit nervously, and then it casts speak with animals on all of you so you can all now talk to it if you wish.

What the baby means, that means I'm not special anymore.

If everyone could do it, you're special in your own way.

I fucking burned a spell slot on this.

But you said you needed to find your uh your mom?

Yes, the the local the local village.

The what village?

The local village.

The local village.

Okay.

In this area code.

Okay.

What area code is this?

In

504.

They kidnapped my mom and they're going to witly execute Ho

to appease the.

I mean, sorry.

I need somebody to help me save Ho.

Oh, okay.

Well, where do they take her?

Oh, wait, really quick.

Do you know how

powerful is this God?

This dog god?

I don't know.

They said that they were going to sacrifice Ho and then bring the God into existence and that the God was.

Oh, Pete, they're always doing that.

And yeah, we're.

And we hate that.

Yeah, we are.

You know, that's where the gods should be where the gods are.

I just, I'm sorry, there's a personal bone to pick of mine.

I just, I just think, I just think.

Yeah, the one god up in heaven.

Never mind, Darrell.

Dungeons and Dies is brought to you this week by Shopify.

It's time.

It's time for you to sell merch.

Dude, I don't know a single person on earth who doesn't sell merch.

Yeah.

When it comes time to start an online business, moving physical or digital objects, Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S.

Wow.

From names like Mattel and Gymshark, they say household names.

I think Mattel's a household name.

I'm not sure Gymshark.

No, good gift for Gymshark.

Getting into that sentence by Mattel, too.

That's like when they say Freddie Wong and Matt Arnold.

From household names like Mattel, Gymshark, and Dungeons and Daddies.

And brands just getting started.

You can get started with your own design studio with hundreds of templates.

You can get a word out like you got a marketing team behind you.

Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling.

And yeah, best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world-class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and everyone's tax rates.

That's important.

Oh, yeah.

That's built in.

You don't have to figure that out.

It's in the Shopify.

Nice.

Anyway, we use Shopify.

It powers our online store.

Everyone uses Shopify if you want an online store.

Turn your big business idea into

with Shopify.

This New Year's resolution, you know, why not start one in August?

August.

Start a store.

Start a store.

Do it.

Sign up for your

idea or a product.

Just start one.

Here's what you do need.

$1 a month.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash Daddy's.

What am I going to sell to get that $1 a month?

Go to shopify.com slash daddies, shopify.com slash daddies.

A Real Lemonade Pet Insurance Review by Madison H.

You know, I thought it was a little ridiculous to get pet insurance, but I really didn't want to not take my little kitten to the vet because of money.

In the last eight months, I've taken him in six times because of ear infections and saved literally hundreds of dollars.

He may even need to get surgery, and I couldn't consider it without Lemonade's help.

I recommend Lemonade to all my friends constantly.

And now I'm recommending it to you.

Check it out at lemonade.com/slash pet.

So, uh, the werewolf sort of gestures into the distance and you can see the distant lights of a little village.

What would you like to would you like to go in and actually do the adventure?

Yeah,

yeah, I think I think.

Hold on, I'm just finishing up.

Alright, alright, we're good.

So the village consists of...

Wait, what's the little wolf's name?

Oh, my name is

Does something say stop?

Stop.

You.

What's your name?

My name is Katie.

Golly G Wiz, nice to meet you, Katie.

So what was that?

I said, Golly G.

Wiz, nice to meet you, Katie.

Nice to meet you as a wolf.

I'm going to quickly take my jacket and make like a baby bjorn and put Katie like

a little baby up in front of me.

Yeah, Katie's like a wolf, Matt.

A baby wolf?

Katie's a baby wolf.

I allow it.

I allow it.

We just gotta make sure you stay quiet.

We don't wanna, you know.

Ron, you're the stealthiest.

You gotta scout.

Yeah.

Boy, can I pet the doggie?

Yeah, of course.

Hi, Katie.

Can I just give you a pat on the head, please?

Yes, please.

I'm gonna roll for it.

Roll for attack?

I got a seven.

You snap Katie's neck.

No, no, no.

No, not a one.

You just do it kind of rough and in the wrong direction and Katie's like, I don't know about this.

I then like kind of rub underneath Katie's chin and be like, it's okay, but it's okay.

I can't do a dog like happily growling.

I can only do like a prayer.

Carol doesn't want that about Katie anymore.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I can hear it.

Yeah, it's weird.

It's a little different.

So on the outskirts...

of the village, you can see that the village consists of a tavern from which raucous celebrating can be heard.

You see a jail.

You see a person-sized glass case in the center of the town square.

Okay.

Okay.

You see a merchant, a merchant's store.

Okay.

And several residential homes where the villagers live, presumably.

Oh, wow.

Sounds like you don't want us to go in those homes to see some stuff in the world.

What a unique village.

I've never heard of this.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Do you want a DM?

Matt, describe a village in that village.

Describe a village right now and that's what the village looks like.

It's a village made of candy drop mountains.

Candy drop is a fucking mountain.

Are you what?

It's a candy village made of mountains, you stupid fuck.

Anthony,

you're doing a great job, buddy.

Get your fucking lane.

So, again, there is a merchant store, a tavern, a jail, a glass case in the center of town square, and several homes.

What would you like to do?

Katie, where's your mom?

I don't know.

We were ambushed on the Wo, Tewo Bifia.

Oh, you're not.

No.

More like a rib swing.

And

they took us somewhere.

I'm not sure where she is.

Did I look for footprints?

Oh, yeah.

Why don't you roll survival or nature?

Oh, there we go.

Oh, sorry.

Are you the DM?

Yeah, yeah.

Everybody thinks they're a big deal tonight, huh?

I'm the DM.

I got a 19.

Okay, so look right behind those candy drop mountains.

I think I see some footprints.

You can see the footprints that look like two people dragging a third, and you can tell that the third person that was being dragged has talons and it has like claws in there in their skin.

Does the person have large talons?

And they are being dragged towards the jail.

They're in the jail?

It looks like we did.

Katie, are you sure your mom didn't do anything wrong?

Just usually if somebody goes to jail.

What?

I'm just asking.

I'm just saying, we're going to save your mom.

I just want to know all the situations.

Katie says, all cops el bastos.

Glenn smiles.

Glenn goes, oh hell yeah, I pound it.

And I hold out a fist pound to a wolf.

Yes.

Did I get one?

You get one.

Daryl just ejaculated.

Ejaculated.

Dude, that was exciting.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

So

it seems like this thing's going towards the, it's in the jail.

It's in the jail.

I don't think we should just, like, it's.

You still proven guilty.

So let's go.

Yeah.

I think, I mean, but like, we can't just go into town and be like, hey, what's up with that?

It seems like they're pretty mad at this person.

So I think we need like a cover identity.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, we could get in trouble to go into the jail and then we would have to break out ourselves and then also the mama wolf.

And it would be like kind of a dual journey that would get us to know a lot about ourselves.

Oh, okay, I love that.

I love that.

Let's do the gap.

Maybe what if we, how about some of us are bounty hunters?

Okay, we do a quick little photo of like a wanin or like Glenn or somebody, and then we'll just

be the bad boy who got

it.

I think I know it is.

Yes, all right.

All right,

unseated.

It's me.

Hey,

oh,

yeah.

No, that's good.

That's good.

That's good.

Let's just say that.

Hey, this is all.

Imagine if you could be the bounty hunter that brings in this guy in.

Okay.

All right.

I'm Pharaoh, man.

I'm fucking Pharaoh.

Tie me up.

I'll fucking stop.

Hey, then.

Hey, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wait.

Hold on, Ron.

It's real.

Froth up the saliva.

They'll think you have rabies.

Very good.

Okay, very good.

Ron, can I just be like your big muscle behind you?

Sure.

I have big muscle myself, but if you want to be like the medium-sized

helper.

I won't say anything.

I don't want to ruin.

I mean, you're the businessman.

I'm

the completely quiet helper.

Yes, I think it's always best if I do the talking.

All right.

I think this is shaping up to be a great plan.

Okay, well, okay.

And then Glenn and I, you and I can be like just some fun guys that are part of the group.

I'll be the

money man.

I'll be getting the payment.

Yeah, that's great.

That's great.

Make sure you're at a big number.

That way they'll pay pay it why don't and you want

i'll be a mayor from another town that also wants the guy to drive up the price on payton you know oh that's good that's good

clinny you could be the guy who has accused payton of oh that's a better killing your whole family or something yeah yeah this this yeah okay great they were asking for it yeah

that's great that's great that's great All right, let's go.

So you guys head into the jail.

All of you, like, much like Han and Luke taking Chewbacca through the Death Star, I guess.

You got it.

There's two plans on this show.

One is take Chewbacca in the handcuffs, and like the other is like fake our deaths or something.

Yeah, yeah.

And Peyton's like, like, like frothing at the mouth and trying to bite at every townsfolk that he walks past.

And you make it to the jail, and inside, you see a lazy-looking deputy with his feet up on a desk.

I don't know why that's funny.

It's just a perfect Western image.

Just like the, yeah.

And he goes,

what y'all want there?

Hello, sir.

It's me,

dog the bounty hunter.

I have here quite the little criminal.

This guy here killed my whole family.

And I do it again.

I like lift up Hayden.

I lift up Hayden, just like shake him.

It's only making me nice.

town, and I'm mad that this bounty came here, and me being here proves that this is real.

The deputy, so go ahead and roll persuade a deception, roll the suspension.

You jump the gun.

That's a

six.

So the deputy narrows his eyes and goes, so why are you here, Van?

Because I'm very upset that the bounty is here, and I wish to buy the bounty.

Yeah, you keep up with that attitude, dude, and you're next.

I hit Henry.

I hit Henry, and I chill him.

He's like, nice try.

You're the accomplice of this guy.

Now we got both the bounties.

He also killed my extended family.

This guy, they're both the two criminals.

And we would do it again.

By the way, I rolled this up.

I got an eight.

What?

So the...

You came in too early, Bob.

So you came in too late.

The guard...

I've come in too hard, but you came in too early.

The guard pulls out his gun, his fantasy gun,

his crossbow, his handheld crossbow.

And he points it.

He goes, This is, I don't know what this is, but this is not on the level.

Why don't you all get into that cell over there?

And he gestures you over to a cell that you can see.

Why don't you, actually, Henry specifically, why don't you roll perception with advantage?

Or nature with advantage?

I got a.

That's a natural 20.

You

yeah, I wrote the big number, Anthony.

You see a

you see a tall bipedal wolf standing behind.

What you know immediately just from the scent, just from the tang in the air, are bars of silver.

Smells like silver, boys.

Hey, catologists learned by sense of smell.

You can taste rocks.

That's like a thing.

Hey, Katie, lick the rock.

That's pure uncut silver if I ever licked it.

Katie, is that your mom?

I whispered to the wolf.

I think that's my mom.

Why you don't know?

She looks so sad.

I'm not used to seeing her crying like this.

Oh, boy.

She's such a strong, feminine presence in my life.

Don't worry, we'll get her back smiling, I promise.

You're a true ally.

So, Anthony,

as we're trying to get pushed into the cell, I want to cast a spell really quick.

And I'm going to modify this one.

This is Earth Tremor.

You cause a tremor on the ground within range.

Each creature other than you must make a deck saving throw.

Now, here's, I want to modify it.

Because Glenn,

here's the idea.

Glenn does earth tremor, but it's not I cause a tremor.

Glenn just goes like, whoa, did you guys feel the earthquake?

And then it's a deception check and the distraction.

I want to like bop the guard real good.

All right, roll deception for me.

All right, sick.

This is the best part about DD.

This plus 14, bro.

Plus 14?

I deleveled for this, and I've still got plus 14, bro.

15 plus 14, 29.

Yeah, get used to it.

All right.

So the tremor happens, and the guard goes, oh, what's the ground shaking for?

No, no, no, to be clear.

No earthquake happens.

Yeah, but you just

say.

Why did you cast a spell then?

Well, because it's a spell, and then we can be like, no, hold on, listen, bro.

Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.

This spell's sick.

Dude, even if he fails, he got one.

What do you spell?

He's like bludgeoning damage, dude.

It's not prone.

Okay, okay, so you just literally said there's no earthquake, though.

Yeah, but like the mind is a powerful organ, you know what I mean?

Like the power of suggestion can cause him to lose this balance, and I'm gonna like shove him really hard into the cell.

I shove him into the cell.

Okay.

Like that.

All right, I think with that high roll, you are capable of doing that.

You shove him into the cell, and immediately.

What's your idea?

So, can I roll stealth real quick?

Yeah.

Get in those those pants.

Oh no.

Is it two plus 11 though?

What are you trying to do?

Switch clothes with him so that if he wakes up.

No!

If he wakes up, he thinks that he's the bounty hunter and I'm the security guard.

No, unfortunately, your stealth roll does not allow you to do that with your Piddly 13.

You tear off his

Yeah, you tear off his fucking pants.

Once he's in prison, we could just ask him for his clothes if you want to wear his clothes.

Oh, sure.

So the thing is, you push him into the cell, but the cell door

locks behind him.

And you can see that the cell door is.

Also, immediately the werewolf starts fucking tearing this dude apart.

Oh!

Just limb by limb.

Just like.

Is he okay?

Oh, my goodness gracious.

You can see that the cell door loud is.

Yeah, it's loud.

Well, I mean, will people outside hear it?

Oh, um, why don't I roll?

I'll roll.

Oh, right, yeah.

That is a 14.

So I'm going to say that that was a stealth roll to kill him quietly, and that she gets away with it.

Nice.

So

you can see that there is a five-digit code combo to the opening the cell door.

And it closed too quickly for any of you to get in.

Oh, I know this one.

Hey, buddy, what's the code?

What's the code?

008F.

I'm asking.

You know, when you work with someone long enough, you sort of

finish each other's sentences, you know?

Anthony.

That's right.

Anthony, it's okay, bud.

You gotta finish the show.

Take a second.

Take a few minutes.

You gotta do the show, man.

You can't quit now.

You gotta go back into it.

You gotta get back in.

It's gonna be okay.

I love you, boss.

All right.

Keep going, big dog.

This show might be a lot shorter than we had hoped.

I had

so many other things planned.

But the door opens.

All right, let's get out of here.

go, let's go.

So, upon releasing the werewolf,

the werewolf looks at Katie and goes,

What are you doing with these humans?

And Katie goes,

They are my friends.

And the werewolf goes, Werewolves don't have friends.

Attack them.

And they lunge at you.

Katie's strapped to me.

But I say, Paw.

Everything goes black.

Bang.

Okay.

You wake up and it is daybreak.

You look around and you see each other and Peyton.

Oh, hey, guys.

What?

Are you guys all okay?

Was that another one of your dreams, Ron?

What's that?

I don't know what this one means.

There was a big wool.

And boobs.

Okay, so maybe it's about Carol.

So So I'm gonna

All right

So sorry I will remind you that the other the other areas in the village still have some sort of purpose they are there you haven't completely obviated all that stuff even despite my reaction

But what I'm gonna need right now is I'm gonna need a volunteer from the audience

real quick

All right, I saw one of you hold up your hand first, so I'm gonna say third row, fourth from the end.

Yeah, now that you said it.

Confidence.

Confidence, everyone.

Confidence wins.

One or more of you have been bitten by the werewolves.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

I have handed each of you a tile that has an identity on it.

We are going to be playing basically a version of One Night Ultimate Werewolf, except it's going to take more than five minutes and you're allowed to curse.

Wait, wait, can you not swear in the original?

Oh man, you guys came here to hear some some curses

We're saying the S word

go on.

So what I'm going to need so first of all

What is your name Cedar like the tree Cedar love it like the tree a lovely name.

Okay, so what's going to happen is this is the narration for one night ultimate werewolf for each of the people to basically do the things at night So you're gonna be the one to read these while we are going to close our we're gonna look at our stuff and then we're gonna all stand up go back here and close our eyes and as quietly as you can if if you have to interact with somebody else's card, you're going to go step over and then do it, but you're going to have to do it such a way that you don't give away to everybody else that you're moving.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, just be quiet.

Yeah,

just be quiet.

Okay, so go ahead, take a look at your card, take it with you if you want.

No, don't take it with you.

Look at it and then put it back down on the table.

Okay.

All right.

So there are also three.

What were the options on the card?

That's a fucking werewolf, I know.

That is Dutch.

Matt, Matt, I swear to God, if you want to play this game, we can start playing this right the fuck now, bro.

You look me in the eye.

I'm looking at you in the eye.

What's on your card?

Well, I need to see what the options are.

Let's hear what the options are.

No werewolves.

So each of you have a card, and there are also three cards in the middle that nobody has.

Okay?

Okay.

Within all the cards that I have passed out, there are two werewolves, one seer.

A seer gets to look at another player's card or two cards from the middle.

Can I do that anytime I want?

Matt, my motherfucker, you are so fucked, my man.

There is a robber.

The robber during the night is going to take somebody else's identity for their own and swap them out, and the person who got robbed won't know about it.

There is a, and then there are two villagers.

They don't do anything.

And then there's an insomniac.

That's insulting.

That's insulting.

This is a further time for the local kid economy here.

Yeah, come on.

And then there's an insomniac who at the end of the night gets to wake up and see if anything has has been done to their card.

Okay.

Okay.

So what you're going to do, Cedar,

at the very end, you're going to ignore this part that says Troublemaker.

Ignore all the stuff with Troublemaker.

And at the end, say, Insomniac, open your eyes and check that your card is fine.

Basically, is that cool?

Yeah, so just read all of this, and then instead of the Troublemaker, do the Insomniac.

God, you're so good at it.

Round of applause for Cedar!

All right.

If my daddies would get up, face away from the stage, close your eyes.

And my audience, if you can, just give me a little tippy tap.

Oh, I got it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

White noise.

White noise.

Little tippy taps.

That's so good.

The ASMR is so strong.

Okay.

All right.

Cedar, as you were.

Hey, folks, Freddy here.

I'm going to describe what's happening in the audio-only version.

Everyone, close your eyes.

Werewolves.

Not the audience.

Yeah, keep your eyes open, please.

Werewolves, wake up and look for other werewolves.

Matt slash Daryl has turned around.

He points a finger straight up in the air like Michael Jackson.

Alright, werewolves close your eyes.

Seer, wake up.

You may look at another player's card or two of the center cards.

Freddy slash Glenn turns around, points over at Matt.

turns over Matt's card and acts like obviously Matt's the fucking werewolf.

Like, come on.

All right, Seer, close your eyes.

Robber, wake up.

You may exchange your card with another player's card and then view your new card.

Anthony spins around really fast and he exchanges his card with Freddy's card.

All right, Robber, close your eyes.

Insomniac, go ahead and wake up.

Nobody turns around.

Check your own card.

See if you've been robbed.

Cedar gestures to the audience to cheer so as to confuse us, the players.

All right, Insomniac, close your eyes.

And everyone, go ahead and wake up.

Thanks.

Let's give it a hand.

Let's give it here, these gentlemen.

Okay, real talk.

Quitting or cutting back on nicotine doesn't have to mean changing your whole vibe or skipping out on your friends.

That's why I'm into Quit with Jones.

They make discreet, great-tasting nicotine mints.

So when everyone else heads out for a smoke break, you're still right there, fresh breath and all.

Plus, their app is actually helpful.

You can log your mints, track your progress, connect with other quitters in the community, even play this one-minute game that helps cravings pass.

And with the combo of digital support and nicotine replacement, studies show people have way better chances of sticking with it.

If you're ready to take a step toward quitting or just cutting back, go to quitwithjones.com/slash/fresh10.

You can take the free quiz and get $10 off your personalized quitting journey.

That's code Fresh10.

And just a heads up: the mints contain nicotine, which is an addictive chemical.

Jones is FDA approved for 18 years and up.

I feel weird.

What?

Payden, what's up, bud?

Where are we, by the way?

Just to set the scene a little bit.

You wake up in the jail.

In the jail?

Outside of the cell bars.

And the two werewolves are gone.

The adult and Katie are both gone.

Oh, man.

Where's the dog that happened?

Well, I mean, she got her mom, so that's nice.

That's what we came here for.

Yeah, I guess we did a good job.

Well, I'm ready to go.

Yeah.

Till time to go.

And I tried the door.

Help!

Help?

Help!

I'm in prison!

I want somebody to help get us out!

You're not in the cell.

Oh, oh.

Wait, we're not in the cell.

We're just in the just hanging out outside the cell.

Yeah, you let her out of the cell.

She bit you, one of you, more of you maybe, none of you maybe.

And it sounded like one of us got bit.

Oh, cheering for nobody.

It sounds like, yeah.

And yeah, so you wake up and somebody kicks open the door and it's the sheriff.

And he says, what in tarnation has happened here?

He sees blood on the ground.

He sees werewolf floor everywhere.

And he goes, oh, no.

Oh, no, it done happened again.

Zero or one or two, you got turned into a werewolf.

We gotta figure out which one to use, the werewolf, before the night comes, because otherwise that werewolf is gonna eat us all.

Okay.

And there are things in the town that could maybe help or hurt your ability to find the werewolf.

Can we just like stay awake and fight it?

We're pretty good at it.

We're like level 15s.

Yeah, you got any coffee here?

We could just kick this werewolves.

Werewolves are super strong in this town.

Okay.

But wait, wait, if one of that werewolves is us, I don't want to kick one of your asses.

Do you know what I mean?

Is there like a werewolf?

Wait, wait, what do you mean?

You don't want to fight a werewolf if we find a werewolf?

I don't want to fight my friends.

Is there a...

All right.

I re-ussy.

Payden!

Payden!

Excuse me, sir.

I said what we were all saying.

Excuse me, sir.

I don't know who the werewolf is, but I know who the misogynist is, sir, and I pay you to the day.

Buddy, buddy, buddy, Henry, Payden doesn't resort well to negative feedback.

Just wait.

Hey, hey, Payton, buddy.

Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the side of that pussy.

Payton, remember we gave you a list, and I said of all the words you could say, you could choose 10 of them?

Yes.

And we gave you that list of 10 words you could say.

Now, was that word you just said, was it on that list?

Or was it on the list of no-no words?

It's on the list of no-nots.

Okay.

Maybe why use one of your other words next time.

That's right.

Only I want to say that.

You fucking cuck.

Okay.

I gave you that one.

Remember?

Yes.

Okay.

You can use that one all you want.

Thanks, Cucky.

Okay.

Hey, dude, it's Kluck.

Like a rooster, remember?

Got it, you fucking cuck!

All right.

So, the sheriff goes, oh boy.

I can't handle this.

I'm just going to go ahead and run away.

You can't handle this.

You're the sheriff.

But.

This is your building.

Hey, don't just give me the star.

You're leaving.

in the distance here, you're all cop so bastards.

Hey, bud, if you're leaving, can I take the star?

Yeah, please take the star.

Give me outfits so that you might think that you're a dog to bounty hunter, and I will think that I'm the sheriff.

Do I look good in this?

I mean, you're the sheriff now in this town.

Anthony, can I roll perception and see who's the werewolf?

We all roll perception to see who's a werewolf.

Everybody roll perception.

I got natural 20.

I got a natural 22.

You were last time!

I got an assisted 20, 16 plus 4.

So, what I'm gonna say is: because you got a natural 20, both Beth and Matt, you get to look at each other's cards.

Wow.

Don't mind if I do.

What's up, man?

Hey, hey.

Doing a podcast.

I just left him hanging.

He was trying to go for another one, but that's fine.

I'm so sorry.

Let's look at this.

Interesting,

interesting, interesting indeed.

Devastating.

All right.

That was cruel, Beth.

I know, because Freddie did it to me last week, and I still think about it.

So, so, look, so you guys seem like you've got a vibe on each other now.

So, are either of you the werewolf?

Maybe.

The sheriff says, look, look, I'm out of here.

In the merchant, there is some weaponry that's got silver bullets and silver crossbow bolts and stuff.

And then there's also, I guess, a potion that some people say cures werewolfism.

But also, if you give it to somebody that's not a werewolf, they'd die.

Well, but if someone knows they're a werewolf, well, why don't we just give them the potion?

And then they're not a werewolf.

That sounds like a good idea.

Because werewolves don't want to be found out for the purposes of the.

I literally wrote a note here that said, figure out why the werewolf doesn't want to.

drink this potion's line of this is the werewolf doesn't want to be found out

i mean we could all just drink a potion yeah uh no you can't because if you do anybody who's not a werewolf dies it's poison to non-werewolves

I've just got an idea.

What if we call it Gatorade and then somebody who likes Gatorade would maybe drink that and then

yeah, good.

These aren't alligators, man.

It's werewolves.

Oh, yeah.

Wait a second, Ron.

Why did you bring up Gatorade?

Um, I just, uh, uh,

because uh, uh, um,

this is what I'm Ron,

Daryl.

Could you, um, could you meet me over here back in the cell real quick?

Sure.

Just revive it one-on-one conversation.

Cool.

I'd like to lean up against the cell, like on the door.

Like the silver bars of the cell.

Ouch.

You guys got to clean these rusty bars.

What's up?

What's up, Henry?

I just, I can't notice that your arm is sizzling on the son.

Are you okay?

Hey, I've been working.

I mean, thanks, bud.

I mean, you are.

Look,

you've been working out.

I'm proud of you, Abrio.

But you are also,

you seem a little furrier than usual.

You're exuding a more sort of, I don't know how to say this, just a more wolf-like aura.

Hey, Henry, great, great.

Talk to you, Lucelle.

Henry, great, talk to you, Lucelle.

Henry, I don't recommend talking to Daryl anyone.

Daryl, give it to me straight out.

Is you a werewolf?

Hey, Henry.

Yeah.

I think.

Yeah?

You can tell me.

You can tell me what's going on.

You can tell me, buddy.

It's okay.

It's okay.

I just don't know who I am anymore.

We're going to find out together.

Because all I want to do is eat you.

Oh!

Um

and oh,

I mean, you know, Mercedes and I are open to that if

that's something you want.

And I've been trying to find a way to bring it out, but

that

would be so good if I could just eat both of you.

That would be great.

I mean, I could ask her.

No, I don't.

Hello, Mia Moore.

Hey, Miasposa, Mia Leon, Mi Corazon.

What's up?

So, you know that thing we talked about with Daryl?

Oh, my God.

Henry!

Henry!

Henry!

She's running around the audience to do that.

Hey.

Henry,

I knew you were right back.

Hey, hey, Ron, can I

talk to you in a different cell?

What's going on?

Let me know, that's okay.

I really, that's okay.

I just got Dr.

Von Brown.

Let me make some plants.

Uh, okay, Daryl, just don't get too close, because uh, yeah, because

uh, we're men, and men don't don't get too close.

What am I kidding?

I know that men can get just as close as anybody else.

Peyton says, They're just really bad at it.

Peyton says, now I know you all seem pretty sure about who the werewolf is, but don't forget there was a robber, so that person might actually be the werewolf, and the other one might not be.

Because you didn't look at your own card afterward.

You only got to see other people's cards.

Hey, Ron.

Yeah, Peyton, shut the fuck up, man.

Did you fucking tell me to shut up, you cuck?

He said the word again.

No, he didn't.

That's the word he can say.

He can say that one.

It's on Ron's list of no-no-words.

Yeah.

Ron,

I think

you saw all of me.

Yes, I do.

I do, Daryl.

You see me in a way that nobody else has.

But

I was going to tell Henrietta, and I think he took it in a different way.

I didn't understand what he was saying at first, but the way his wife responded, I think I just don't know who I am anymore.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Do you think I'm a werewolf?

I thought I was because I really just wanted to eat you all.

But then Peyton said, baby, I wasn't.

And he's right about a lot of things.

That's right, baby.

Well, I just, you know what I'm saying?

You know, I know what you've seen me.

I know what I see in front of me, you know?

And it's pretty hard to tell.

Henry comes out of this cell hanging up the public.

Like, okay, I'll call you later.

I'll sell it.

You know how it goes.

Okay, go ahead.

Anyway, I gotta go.

Hey, guys,

I need to buy some stuff.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah.

I should share with you.

We should go buy some stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I need to go buy some stuff.

So I'm going to go to the merchant, but it also seemed like there might be a cure for whatever.

I think there's a werewolf thing going on.

That was a little wilder.

So get some forks and then a plate and then maybe some salts.

Because he's going to.

He's going to.

He's going to eat you.

Did you tell him?

What?

No, I told him.

I mean, I didn't tell him anything.

I said I'm a werewolf.

You're a werewolf?

Well, I thought I was.

It's all Shady's back.

It's off.

It's a werewolf.

So Tony.

Whoa, whoa, he's a werewolf and you're saying it's off.

Hold on.

Roll for if you're Team Jacob or Team Edward?

Look, I thought I was, because I just really wanted to eat you all, but now Peyton's saying maybe I'm not.

And then Ron's, Ron, like, really looked deep into me and saw something.

So now I'm just asking Ron if he thinks I'm a werewolf.

I definitely think you are okay, yeah.

I'm just gonna go ahead and say I have very very strong feelings.

Well, I'm gonna go pick up that werewolf cure and that'd be nice.

If I could just have the cure, that would just solve everything, right?

So you head into the merchants and you see the merchant has a bunch of crossbows trained on the door and he goes, No one's getting in here.

I heard there's a bunch of werewolf sympathizers out there.

I destroyed the cure.

You destroyed the cure?

But maybe if you're lucky, you can remake it if you kill me and do some other stuff to pad out the time of this.

I cast Charm Person.

God damn!

You're rolling hard in this.

Charm Person's a really basic spell, dude.

That's a level one spell.

You should know about it.

Whoa.

Is it a saving throw for Army?

You might get on a tour bus with this guy later, man.

You gotta spell the puzzle hard, bro.

So is it a saving throw for me?

Hold on.

I have to get the spell up.

It's really big.

It's a spell will.

shit where is it

you know it's a um it's a wisdom saving throw just roll dice and save the numbers okay

he got a natural 20.

i can verify i verified the natural 20.

that's a that's a um that's a o5

OZ it's an OZ OZ that's a card which is short for zero it's a zero

he goes your charms ain't gonna work on me werewolf or lover shit

I'm gonna roll stealth.

Yeah.

To do what?

We'll switch our clothes

today.

You think that you're the dog, the bounty hunter, but I know.

That's a 9 plus 11.

Not, oh, whoa.

Anthony, I've got a quick question.

I've got a quick question about the actual mechanics of werewolf, really quick.

Hold on.

Will made a 9-11 joke?

No.

Oh, okay.

We get one per show, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

That's it.

Yeah.

That's it.

They would have done a worse one.

I'm trying to get out of here at the

least.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're doing better than 9-11 jokes each night of the tour.

So that's it.

We're starting to...

It's a little bit riskier every night.

What is your question?

So my question is, does the robber get to look at everybody's cards before switching?

The robber gets to look at one person's card and then take it, and they become that thing.

And then the other person who used to.

Yeah, okay.

You're the fucking man.

You saw my card.

You're the fucking.

Okay, yeah.

And you're a villager.

Nobody needs to know that I was a villager.

Sorry, Ron.

Ron,

you're the mayor.

You're the mayor.

It takes a lot of talent to

sell this role as villager.

You know, I don't get to do as cool stuff as the rest of the boys did.

But I'm just happy to be here.

Hey, hey, I talked to the.

Wait, wait, how about best role?

We got

what happened?

What happened?

What is the role?

Oh, it was 20.

Yes, it was a 20.

I was.

No, it was a 9 plus 11.

It was a 9 plus 11.

Oh, that equals 20.

Okay.

You know what?

All right.

This is why I do podcasting and not

basic edition.

And not

basic edition.

I'm going to say that's not good enough to

run into a room that's covered in crossbows pointed at the door, take off all of your clothes, take off all of his clothes, switch your clothes with his clothes, and then make him think that he is you.

Oh, the people have spoken.

All right, roll again.

Roll it again.

There was no number high enough that Anthony was going to let that happen.

If it was a 10 or higher, I would have let it happen.

Well, guess what?

It's a three or lower.

The fact that I couldn't even get in.

Yeah, if you miss your dice tray, that's an automatic one.

This is the second time that I've had a pretty bad idea and then the audience has given me inspiration and then I've just let everybody down.

Okay, let's get back to it.

Does anybody trying to come in here and get a formula for the cure?

Is going to get a bolt in the face?

Well, I don't appreciate that, sir.

I'm gonna

can only werewolf eat people.

No, you can eat people if you want to.

I'm gonna eat the sheriff.

Yeah,

roll uh, roll a melee attack.

Wait, can I help?

So all of a sudden, after the season's done, now Daryl's into thrupples.

Yep.

That's a 13 plus 7.

Okay.

So he is going to, opposed, try to dodge your...

I'm assuming you're just running in at him with your fist up.

No, I got my teeth.

All right, he's going to roll to attack you with his many, many crossbows.

That's an 11.

That's gonna hit you.

My AC's 12, Bias.

Yeah, and he's got 15 crossbows pointed at the door.

He's got a plus 10.

I guess that's fair.

Alright, so he hits you

three times with crossbows.

Some of you guys cast Spirit Shield because I support.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay.

And I'm going to reduce that damage by 4d6.

Okay, roll 4d6, please.

Three so far.

There we go.

Eight, nine.

All right, so you take 22 damage.

That's okay.

I got like 152.

Yeah.

Beth, pretend like you have way less health.

Okay, sorry.

I'm in danger.

Ron, buddy, are you okay?

No.

Don't worry, you'll make it home to your wife.

We'll be okay.

Okay, that's great.

So yeah, you get the crossbow bolts hit you in the chest and push you backward out the door, and you fall back into the village square.

I'm going to charge him too.

Okay?

How do I do that?

I'm going to do the barbarian thing.

I'm going to cast rage and just do three attacks.

You know, that stuff.

I don't like how racist he is against werewolves.

Okay, great.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

That's not a good role.

That's a two?

That's just my first of three.

Yeah, so your first attack.

I stumble out the door.

Yeah.

Your first attack whiffs completely.

Three?

No, no.

Your second attack whiffs slightly less completely.

I mean, it would be hard if you were used to four legs going to two legs.

That would be a hard transition.

I stumbled a second because I'm double checking on Ron.

I'm like, Ron, you okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't worry.

I got one more chance.

No.

And then a 10.

Right, that one hits him.

That one you clock it.

What do you do to this guy?

He's behind is his his countertop.

He's got to his grapple.

I just want to hold him and be like, all right, Ron.

I won't fight back.

I won't fight back.

Eat away.

Okay, I'm going to whip my teeth out.

I mean,

they're in my mouth permanently.

That's a seven plus seven.

You have advantage because he is grappled.

So roll again.

Wow.

That's a ten plus seven?

I think you managed to bite him directly in his jugular.

Aww, yeah.

I whisper, I know you was the ironic part.

I'm the werewolf.

That's a normal human that's eating you.

Pretty weird way to deal, buddy.

What's this turn?

Really?

What's this turn?

Hey, does anybody have fabra beans and a nice canteen?

Get it?

Get it?

Get it?

Get it?

Get it?

Do you get it?

Oh, wait, buddy, before you die, how do you make the potion?

I'll never kill you.

It's gotta be his blood, right?

I drink his blood.

Whoa.

Henry, I think I figured out who the werewolf is.

You see.

You see, this whole time I've been disguising my intent.

Observing.

You know, figuring shit out.

Glenn, what are you saying?

I'm either Ron.

But Daryl for sure, but...

Daryl's a werewolf.

We've established that, dude.

I see her once.

Wait, wait, wait.

Peyton goes, you made a good point.

There could be two of them.

I don't know about that, Peyton, but like.

Look at me, Payton.

Look at me.

What?

You're a werewolf, man.

You tell me.

No.

You gotta tell the truth, Payton.

Yeah, yeah, Payton.

He's way too disappointed in the fact that he isn't.

You think you gotta be so fucking psyched if I'm not.

You're so psyched if Payton.

I want it so badly to be the werewolf.

You have no fucking idea.

Yeah, here's an idea.

Listen.

Hey, guys.

Hey, dad, that hold up.

And what's up?

May I end on this one or yes?

No, no, no, not you.

Go look at the crossbows.

Look, look, Peyton, look.

Ah.

You never let me do anything, you cucks.

Hey.

Hey.

We should add another word to the no-no list.

Hey, Daryl.

Yeah.

Werewolf, Daryl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

I figured it out.

Listen, hey.

What if you just transform Peyton a little bit?

Let the kid run around and

go feral for you.

Are you saying let Peyton become a werewolf?

That works?

What?

I grab a leaf and I call Aaron O'Neal.

You call Aaron O'Neal on a leaf.

Yeah.

Aaron O'Neal picks up the leaf.

He goes, yeah, what is it?

Hey, what's up, Aaron?

So I became a werewolf?

You're a werewolf?

Yeah.

Yeah,

Glenn figured it out.

And

that's right.

I gotta ask.

I gotta ask.

Are you into threesomes now?

What?

Yeah, are you?

What?

What's happening?

I'm getting big signals over here.

I'm a werewolf.

I don't know what is that.

What is that?

What are you guys?

You keep saying the number three.

I just don't like, what is this?

All right.

You're one of the rare types that aren't into threesomes after cutting turned into a werewolf.

That's it.

I could be if I knew what it was.

I don't know what this is.

I lean over and whisper the definition of a threesome into Daryl's ear.

Do it, Mr.

Wrew.

I'm whispering.

Can you just say this to everybody?

So, Daryl, a threesome is like when, you know how it's sex?

Yeah.

You know how sex normally?

I don't want to say that.

No, yeah, yeah, come on.

I don't mean normally, but you know how me and Carol have been having some terrorist times, but we still...

Most, I don't, just, a lot of sex is between two people.

Two people that love each other.

Two people that love each other.

Yeah.

Always.

Always.

Sure.

Or sometimes.

Thanks to the marriage.

Thanks to the marriage.

I know.

It's the best expression of love you could possibly have.

Well, imagine how much better it would be if there was a third person involved.

Like, wait,

what are they doing?

The Holy Spirit, my man.

Henry, I didn't know you were a believer.

Usually, I try to.

Well, Aaron O'Dell, I'm proud to say I am in the threesomes.

Henry texts up her seats.

It's definitely off.

And I just just want to know if I could give Peyton a little, like, like a little test of what it's like to be a werewolf.

Oh, you want to you want to make him a werewolf?

Yeah, fuck it.

Go for it.

How do you do that?

You just bite him.

Oh.

Hey, Peyton Bud.

Wait, bite Peyton?

Wait, oh, can we turn it back, though?

I mean, you'd have to make a cure.

How do you do?

Okay, oh, so we should search his pockets for, you know, the cure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This guy might have.

And it'd be a lot easier if I was wearing those pockets.

Now that he's dead, you can very easily search.

But you can take his clothes if you want.

No, I won't.

I search his pockets.

You find a note that says 80085.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Turn it upside down.

Oh, my God.

It's Saboob.

Saboob.

Saboob.

Who's Saboob?

Some sort of cab.

We have Sabaro on Earth.

Wait, how's that a cure, though?

You also find a diagram pointing out the cure.

And

it says

a werewolf has to kiss someone of the same age and the same gender.

All right.

Hey, Henry.

Yes, I smooched Daryl.

I smooshed Henry.

Fine.

That's the cure, huh?

That's the cure.

Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Just a quick question.

Just a quick question.

They do do it.

They do do it.

I want you.

The two of them have a great kiss.

You guys said doo-doo.

I do need to know.

I do need to know.

What do you guys say right afterwards?

You could?

I feel like me again.

That's that's a good kiss always does that.

That's it, that's it.

Thanks so much.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Ride safe.

Vengeance and Dags is Matt Arnold as Daryl Wilson.

Anthony Burch is our DM.

Will Campos is Henry Oak.

Beth May as Ron Stampler.

And myself, Freddie Wong, as Glenn Close.

Our theme song is by Max Din Waller.

Brian Fernandez is our content producer.

Asha Nikolai is our community manager.

Courtney Terry is our community coordinator.

Esther Els is our lead editor.

Travis Reeves provides additional editing.

And Robin Rapp is our transcriber.

Season two will continue on January 16th.

We also managed to recover all of our merch inventory.

For those of you following along, that drama.

So keep an ear out for the relaunch of our merch store.

Not that soon.

There's a lot of work to do.

For the video of this live show, as well as all of our live shows and a bunch of extra bonus content, head to patreon.com/slash dungeonsandads.