S3 Ep. 35 - The Head Sullivan Show

You know we love recommending new movies for you guys to watch and I'm obsessed with Regretting You.

It's based on the best-selling book Regretting You, introducing audiences to Morgan Grant, played by Allison Williams, We Love Her and Girls, and her daughter Clara, who's played by McKenna Grace, as they explore what's left behind after a devastating accident reveals a shocking betrayal and forces them to confront family secrets, redefine love, and rediscover each other.

Regretting You is a story of growth, resilience, and self-discovery in the aftermath of tragedy.

It also stars Dave Franco and Mason Thames with Scott Eastwood and Willa Fitzgerald, and it's in theaters this October.

It has an all-star cast based on the book written by number one New York Times best-selling author, Colleen Hoover, and director Josh Boone is no stranger to bringing these books to life.

He's the guy behind the fault in our stars.

It's the perfect film to share with your best friend, your mom, your grandma, your high school niece.

It's filled with love, tears, and laughter, balancing comedy with romance and drama.

But you know what?

Sounds right up our alley.

It'll be available in the U.S.

October 24th, 2025.

To watch on the big screen, see it at a theater near you.

A new era of power has arrived with the Alienware Area 51 gaming laptops, intentionally engineered to push more power to the CPU and GPU for maximum performance.

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Fused with Alienware's enhanced thermal solutions, it creates a higher power output without raising noise levels, allowing you to play with confidence even during the most demanding marathon gaming sessions.

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A new era of power is here.

All you have to do is take it.

Discover Area 51 today at www.alienware.com slash area-51 laptops.

Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups.

Content warnings can be found in the episode description.

Your kids will love McDonald's Teen Happy Meal.

It's food and fun in a box.

It's a hamburger or a cheeseburger, regular-sized fries, a hand job, and a vape pan.

It all comes in a teen happy meal box, with games, puzzles, a poncho made out of your dad's skin, and a toy.

A toy?

It's a hamburger or a cheeseburger, regular size fries, a hand job, the separate head of your robotic housewife friend, and McNuggets that make you come.

And I'm gonna...

Son, wait till we get home.

I'll fuck.

I'm gonna...

Ah, fuck, son!

McDonald's.

Nobody can do it like McDonald's game.

Welcome to

the Peachyville horror, a Dungeons and Daddies subtitle, season three.

Fuck, I'm fucking it off.

I'm doing it, it's too bad.

Okay,

let me start again.

Let me start again.

Okay, okay.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, not a BDSM podcast.

This season, a Peachyville podcast.

That's right.

Welcome to the Peachyville horror.

Horror.

Horror.

This is a podcast about four everyday schmoes that are facing darkness in 1950s,

supernatural darkness in 1950s America.

My name is Freddie Wong.

I'm Freddie.

And

what's your friend?

What's your friend?

That's a pretty funny video, yeah.

The video I just put up on my channel, Rocket Jump.

Rocket Jump videos are back?

It was 18 minutes.

I actually watched the whole thing.

Beth did it.

No, I.

Beth didn't know it was on.

Beth didn't even know it was there.

I love the part where you talked about Rocket Jump.

I love that too.

When I talked about Rocket Jump and how we're back, baby.

Now more than ever.

The subtitle was Rocket Jump Now More Than Ever.

I'm going to take that.

Well, you want to start with the facts?

I'll start with the facts.

My name is Freddie Wong.

I play Blake Lively on this podcast, the real Freddie Wong.

Accept no substitutes.

Raw, unfiltered, uncut.

That's how you can tell which one's the real Freddie Wong.

Yeah, you drop Trow.

Do you guys ever see Changeling?

The Changeling?

Yeah, that fucking really good

movie.

That's how she's like, my son is circumcised.

No, he's uncircumcised.

Yeah, no, no, no.

When he comes back.

He shouldn't be, yeah.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can go in one direction.

This one's one you can't control Z.

Look, if you listen to some of those really intense, like anti-circumcision people, you can.

You get like the machine.

And then how-to with John Wilson.

Yeah.

I don't want to get into the morality of circumcision.

I'm just saying that it's worth it just in case to make sure.

Like, you don't want to get in a changing situation.

That's where I go when it comes to whether or not you should use your kids.

Oh my God, you're right.

I mean, that's a reason not to, because if you have to go on the run,

don't do it.

Yeah.

This week's juice and boring.

I have smelly stuff under my foreskin.

How come I know that?

Why do I know that I have more smoke money than I normally would?

Well, that's great.

This week's Blake Facts.

Sorry.

I said that.

What a thing that I said.

Yeah.

I know.

That guy who's like, red bag, red bag.

He's like, uncircumcised dick, uncircumcised dick.

Put it on the ground.

Harder to do parkour like that, by the way.

Sorry, what?

What?

Like Matt Paul Valter with the.

Well, like Jason Bourne's like invented basically doing parkour in movies.

I really am.

I don't understand what him having forced him to do it.

That's the most likely.

Just wait.

It's the most likely.

Do you remember that scene where he's got to cut Franco Potente's hair?

But he's like, I got to take care of this.

I got these scissors.

I'm sorry.

We have to talk about something else.

Please, Freddy Saints.

My name is Freddie Wong.

I play Blake Lively on this podcast.

This week's Blake Facts.

Look at what they make you give.

Look at what they make you give.

Look at what they make you give.

As Clive Owen dies

in a snowy field in metal jumping.

Dude, that's crazy, dude.

It's like the scene where the guy's like boring circumcision.

Dude, there's a guy in the corner with a thing over his head, but he doesn't have a gun.

He's got a pair of scissors.

Did you pull the trigger?

All right.

This is Blake Fact.

You know that move where you can take a glass bottle, something, and do the little eyeball thing and crack it open?

With your eyeball?

With the eye socket.

Socket.

Yeah.

It's very intense.

If you haven't been circumcised, you can do it.

Beth, you might not know this, Beth, but

you can kind of grip it and suction.

I didn't even know about the eyeball thing.

The suction.

You got to do a peel as hard as you've ever done and twist.

There's no muscles there.

There's no muscles, maybe for you.

The suction, Matt.

The suction.

The suction.

The suction I get.

Air pressure.

I've worked out my foreskin so that you couldn't even cut if you tried.

That's how you reverse a circumcision.

It's a shame we put so much effort into this thing that can't stay in the main episode of the podcast.

It's that move.

Invented by Blake during World War II.

He was in.

Where was he?

Tell me a story.

Belgium.

A Zoe Gild in Belgium.

Oh, and they didn't even have bottle openers?

They didn't, but Blake was like, let me try something with my eye.

Didn't even have like a ledge with like a pointy pot.

I refuse to believe on a field with a lot of straight men, you couldn't find a bottle opener.

No, he said he did, but he wanted to try this anyways.

Always having a bottle opener on you is something that straight men now do because we never went to war.

Yeah, exactly.

That's like, this is like, this is the only way that men our age improve our masculine virtue.

I'm prepared.

I'm prepared.

I'm a big, strong man.

Every time I'm a party and a hot guy, pulls out a bottle opener.

I'm like, God.

Damn it.

Yep.

So Fray, he invented that.

He invented that move.

But Anthony brings up a greater point, which is like, I have definitely thought in like my day-to-day, I can count on one hand the number of times this has happened, which is when you're out and someone's like, hey, you got a light.

And I was like, how cool would it be to just be like, pa, Zippo lighter?

I'd be like, the four times that's happened to me.

I'm like, that would have been good to have a Zippo lighter.

Him inventing that is going to tie into my fact, unfortunately.

Oh, no.

Hi, everybody.

My name is Matthew Arnold and I play Kelsey Grammar, Beachyville's happiest and snappiest school mom.

And you know what she always says?

Learning is like brushing your teeth.

You skip a day and people probably won't notice.

But if you never do it, if you never do it, everybody will know.

That's really good.

That's yeah.

Nobody will want to kiss you.

Wow.

Because you're dumb and stinky.

That's awesome.

You're pretty.

Dumb and stinky.

Yeah.

And my fact, I didn't know.

There's a virgin who can't learn.

I came up with this fact before you cited your fact for me.

No way.

Which is just.

Kelsey is incredibly annoyed at herself for how attractive she finds Blake Live.

Oh, no.

And that just, that just answers.

Very deep.

That's fair.

Wow.

Just got that.

Just rarely you pop that bottle the first time with your eye?

Yes.

I only bled.

Why do you think he got that eye patch that he's had the whole time?

Do you think he only has one eye?

Yeah.

My name is Anthony Birch, and I play Francis Farnsworth, a kid who's.

No, Anthony Birch, you play the Steam Deck.

Yeah, I played Short Steam.

Not right now.

Not right now.

Look where my hands are.

Look, you can see that the screen is dark.

What the fuck am I talking about?

I'm Francis Farnsworth.

He's a kid who's doing his best.

Today's Francis fact is that you can't decide between his four favorite movies.

His four favorite movies are Reap the Wild Wind from 1942, because John Wayne dies fighting a giant squid in that movie.

The Fighting Seabees from 1944, because John Wayne dies getting shot in the chest by a Japanese soldier heroically.

Wake of the Red Witch from 1948, in which he drowns after being trapped by debris while trying to heroically rescue something.

And Sands of Ujima in 1949, in which John Wayne heroically dies at the conclusion of the film.

Not really heroically.

He's kind of just standing there and he gets shot in the chest and falls over, but like it's sort of...

presented as a heroic sacrifice thing.

Those are his four favorite, but he can't decide which one's best.

No.

That's fair.

Okay.

Sensing a theme here.

Sounds like a theme.

Sounds like I'm calling my shot.

Sounds like when your kid tells you those are his four favorite movies for that reason, that's straight to the therapist.

You're already halfway dialing that therapist's number.

Yeah.

Hi, my name is Beth May, and I play John Wayne.

I dare pilgrim.

Don't call me Marion.

I didn't go to World War II and I got a big insecurity about it.

No, I play Trudy Trout, a homemaker robot, mother of one beautiful child.

A fact about Trudy today, I hope I haven't done it already, is that Trudy is actually a terrible dancer.

She just has no algorithm.

So she has no body now, too.

No rhythm.

And now she has no body to dance with.

You can dance with just your face.

Yeah, I think you can.

I think Trudy's going to prove that.

That sounds like a good Derulo song, dude.

You can dance with just your face.

Yeah.

Dance with just your face.

Like a Bruno Mars could do that one.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Put a little

bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little

eyebrows just.

Fucking Bruno beats under there.

You know what I'm talking about?

Or do you like an L C D sound system, like dance yourself face instead of dance yourself?

It's too cool for me.

I don't know.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Every once in a while, you can.

I upgraded to

an O L E D sound system.

I'm Will Campos and I'm hot tonight.

I've got jokes for days because I'm the guy that runs this podcast.

I'm the joke master and you're going to walk at all my scary jokes today.

My creepy fact about circumcision is that it was once advertised as a cure for paralysis.

Sounds like someone was faking.

During the late 1800s, many doctors thought circumcision would supposedly cure a variety of ailments from childhood fevers all the way to paralysis, including an 1870 case of a five-year-old boy who had knees that were flexed and paralyzed.

A doctor discovered that his foreskin had contracted, causing the young boy considerable pain.

Once the circumcision was conducted, the boy was walking again in less less than two weeks.

Yeah, that guy was faking it to get out of school.

I mean, that's, I mean,

it's too late, Anthony.

They bring you in and you just gotta like

move your legs.

You just imagine you missed school.

Why?

Because your dick too tight.

That's not gonna happen.

Talk about committing to the bit.

You've committed your bit to the bit.

Okay.

I let you know why.

I guess that part of it is done now.

I would go through that.

I would rather lose my tip than have to actually announce that I was.

You don't lose the tip.

Is that not?

Wait, wait.

You guys have a tip on the end of your day?

It's not just.

I was playing Delasuplay fucking Calica Zulu.

When last we left, this wayward group of erstwhile heroes and heroines, you are on your way through Peachyville, which has been locked down by the Bison Cults as they prepare to summon Zuzel to fight the powers that be vis-a-vis the huge dick that's now fucking the Atlantic Ocean.

Whereupon you saw a group of bisons loading Shane Silva Jr.

into a van in which you saw a very scared Milton.

You intervened.

You saved Milton.

However, you realized there was a second BB in the van, and then there was another BB that you had talked to earlier that wasn't in the van.

You're like, two BBs.

Well, that seems like we could do an episode about that.

And so that was what last episode was when you guys were desperately trying to figure out which BB was the good BB and which BB was the evil BB.

And it turned out the one in the van is the evil BB, who's actually like Francis's mom, who's had some sort of horrible up thing happen to her or had did some horrible thing to herself whereupon she's now a spooky thing style flesh monster wearing the skin of her former husband i guess of her current husband draped over her i don't remember them being divorced poncho style this created a whole big problem for you guys including a massive fight scene at a mcdonald's last we checked in with everybody here was the status of everyone okay francis Bibi and Timmy had all piled into a jalopi that they were hot wiring and trying to use to escape from Kimon Juan, who had taken over the paddy wagon that she was inside of.

Can I say something embarrassing?

What is a jalapi?

What is a jalapi?

It's just like an old rust bucket shot.

Do you remember in the mask when they're like...

I just always like nodded along the guy.

I get the idea.

Yeah, do you remember the loaner from the mask?

Yeah.

So it's like a generic term for shitty cars.

Not like a specific car.

No, there wasn't like a Ford Jalap.

I thought there wasn't.

That'd be fun.

Blake had dived out of the vehicle and was, I think, just reconnoitering.

I can't remember what Blake specifically was doing.

Freddy has been trying to work in Blake's cool bunker full of plot-breaking weapons in it.

So Blake was probably trying to figure out what the closest way to get to the bottom.

Dude, driving there.

Yeah, we were just flooring it through red lights.

Kelsey had just rigged up a tripwire to decapitate three members of this bison cult that were speeding towards them in another car.

Milton was in the road following Trudy, who had just gotten run over by said car.

And by spending all of her luck, Beth May has saved the life of Trudy Trout at the dire cost of now she is a severed talking robot head.

Will I'm electing to play the body, not the head.

She looked body for the matters anyway.

And just to also clarify, where were we going before, like, you had to show me?

We were heading towards Blake's.

No, no, no, no, no.

I get the two halves.

We were heading towards Project Heartland in order to use the keys to stop.

So my brother, we think my brother's the third way.

Yes, he's a great thing.

Yes, your brother is found.

I will say, My priorities have now changed.

Your brother told you that he had a third way to save Peachyville that did not involve sacrificing the town or destroying the universe.

So essentially, to stop the dick without using Zoozel.

Yes.

Yes.

And we just don't know what that is because he hasn't told us yet because that's just the way older brothers are.

They don't go everything.

Okay.

Great.

So the last thing that happened was that Trudy got plowed by this car.

Trudy got run over.

That's when, if you're a substitute teacher, you just leave for the day.

You just go, you've lost the class.

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

She's a robot, really.

You know that.

She's a robot.

You can't say that.

It could happen.

So we're not that kind of a podcast.

The last thing that happened was that a car plowed into Trudy.

The word.

And they found it.

The word plowed.

Does not always mean

cars can plow into things, and that's not sexual.

Especially robots, am I right?

Ran over.

They can plow into things, yeah, but plowing things is a very different affair.

Oh, my God.

There's only two contexts.

Well, it's farming.

I regret everything I've ever said or ever done in my entire life.

The last thing that happened was that Trudy was run over by a truck.

Oh, God.

How Cronenbergian.

Oh, shit.

So, yes, her head has popped off like a champagne cork, and there's like sparking bits sort of shooting out of her where her neck used to be.

And she's rolled over onto the side of the road.

The truck full of bisons has sped off past her.

We'll see what they're going to do next.

The bisons, most of them got knocked down, right?

Two of them got decapitated.

One of them fell on his ass, and two more are driving this truck.

Cool.

Oh, and yes, you're still disguised as bison leader, Brian Strikes Mitchell.

Yes.

Blake, it is your turn.

Who's the bison that looks like the most kind of out of it right now?

I would say the guy on the ground is probably a little dazed.

He got wanged by the he didn't hit, he fell out of the truck, and then his friends got

loud.

He got wanged.

He got wanged off.

Blake, very conveniently, hasn't seen what's happened to Trudy.

He's so mission-focused, you see.

So he's going to run right up to the guy who got wanged off and just stomp his head into the ground.

Oh my God.

Okay.

Good thing I'm in a disguise for this.

So mission focused.

I see a head.

I got to stomp on it.

Can you imagine Ethan not using the face thing?

He's just stomping a guy's head in.

They'll never know.

Now,

let me make some arguments.

I was going to try to put some fucking English on this before you...

Well, yeah, because it's like the guy fell out of a moving car.

He has no idea what's going on.

And then his good friend's going to do it.

We're going to say he fell on his head.

I'm going going to give him a constitution saving throw to see if he got a concussion.

And if he has a concussion, I'm going to give you a chance to do this with advantage.

So he flubbed his roll pretty bad.

So yes, he is dazed.

Here's what I was saying.

You do not have to make a attack roll.

Just roll your damage.

You get a free hit on this guy.

I will do like David Beckham getting a free kick at the end of the game.

That's for you, Matt.

Soccer.

1d3 at the end of the game.

Like tradition.

Plus my damage bonus, which is 1d4.

Four damage.

Holy shit.

Four damage.

So yes, he is dazed and then he goes bam your foot finds purchase right on his jaw and some teeth go spitting out you know we'll give him one more constitution saving throw which he passed so he does not go unconscious but uh he looks up lucky for you yeah he's confused and enraged and a little hurt by what you've done emotionally he's like you get the sense that this guy and brian the real brian were like friends And he's like, whoa, he looked into Blake's eyes and he sees nothing but just fucking dead souls.

That he could understand.

That's true.

The truth truth here is how there's nothing behind those eyes.

It's like what a Goomba sees when Mario stops.

Exactly.

For you, it was the worst day of your life.

For me, it was the best day of my life.

Pretty fucked up when you think about it.

Pretty crazy when you think about it.

It is now Francis's turn.

So Francis, oh, you're in the car.

I think we said Bibi was driving.

We did, yes.

What does Francis want to do to help the situation?

I think last we decided you guys got stuck in the mud.

We were stuck in the mud and my mom is just driving straight at us.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

She's going to hit you guys next turn.

That's right.

Well, first of all, I guess I want to, out of curiosity, see if I can tell whether this thing has airbags or not.

It doesn't exist.

Bibi's like, wait, say that again.

I don't think

when were

airbags.

Bro, do you think seat belts were optional, right?

Yeah, I don't think.

Airbags were invented in the 1950s with the first patent by John W.

Hedrick in 1953.

They were too slow to be effective.

The innovation of those two two guys.

Yeah, it's the guy blowing up a balloon.

The innovation of the chemical explosive system by Yasuza Buru Kobori in the 1960s was in the 1960s.

Okay, well, with Drive Auto, BB's just going to try to get the F out of here, if I may be so bold.

Okay.

Wait, did you just call yourself BB?

Well, I said you'll enroll for BB.

Do you, as Francis, want to do anything to help the situation?

Must go faster.

Must go faster.

Must go faster.

Must go faster.

I unbutton my shirt.

Give me an education role.

Yes, I regular succeed.

I do not super succeed.

Well, in that case, you know that the best way to get a car in stuck for mud is to try rocking the car gently back and forth by shifting between reverse and drive to build momentum.

If you want to, you could tell that to BB, who's busy pounding the gas for all fucking dear life possible.

Bib, edge it, edge it the car.

Okay, what does that mean?

I just grab the stick and start helping.

This drive, reverse, drive, reverse.

Just keep your foot on the gas.

You got it.

BB is going to get a drive roll with advantage.

So she has a 20 drive, but she rolled an 18.

Hey!

So, yes, with you helping jerk the car off, the car rocks back and forth and then is able to lurch out of the mud and speed off.

And on the next turn, Camon Juan will regain control of her car right after it is narrowly missing a collision with you guys.

It's Matthews.

Kelsey.

Yes.

I'm not actually.

Matthew's not here right now.

Kelsey's

dead.

Long gone.

Okay, so I am on the other side of the street because I did the rope.

Yes, you did the the rope.

I'm gonna just run to Trudy.

You know what's wild?

I feel like you see two heads pop off and then you look over and you see a third head.

And it's Trudy's head.

Trudy!

I'm gonna run to Trudy's head.

Kelsey!

Oh my god, okay.

Wow, that's great.

You're just talking.

I didn't know I was allowed to, so I just did it.

Of course, you're allowed to talk.

You're still here.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Okay, let's get you out of the road.

Okay.

Do you mind if I pick you up and take a look at you?

Yes, yes.

Okay, I'm going to pick you up.

Okay, okay, you're here.

You're here.

That's good.

That's good.

Oh, we need to get out of here.

We'll say you have one more action you can do.

At present, the bison mobile is speeding off and has not turned around yet.

And you also see Kamon Juan driving the van with her tentacle hands, and she's just narrowly missed this jalopy that the three kids are in, which is now puttering around.

That's what you see at this point.

Okay, actually, I'm going to run to the jalopi.

Okay, I'm going to bring us to the jalopi, okay?

Okay, just next time, give me a heads up.

Oh, Trudy, you're so brave.

She's brave as well.

Yeah, you're taking it really well.

Yeah, I think I am.

Francis, open the door.

I got Trudy.

We're part.

I got Trudy.

What?

I got Trudy.

Is that all my guy?

So yes, as you hold Trudy's head up, Timmy in the back just goes wide-eyed in horror.

He's like, what?

She's okay.

She's totally okay.

What?

Eyes, Timmy.

Eyes.

Close your eyes.

No, no.

Trudy, talk to your son.

Oh, Timmy.

Hi.

Oh, my God.

This is so scary.

No, it's cool.

I pick up the body and suit.

Like, I'm dragging the body with one arm and I'm holding her hand with the other.

I'm running to to the jalopy.

Open the door!

Well, Kelsey, you're really sticking your neck out for me.

Where's Milton?

Milton is in the middle of the road.

Oh, he's on the jalopy?

No, he's not in the jalopy.

He fell out.

Yes.

Yeah, behind you.

Oh, Milton.

I'm sorry.

My hands are full.

Run.

You're a boy.

You got two legs.

Run.

Which way?

Into the jalopy.

Right.

I don't have eyes.

Hold on.

I don't have eyes, Kelsey.

Okay, okay.

I'm going to run to him.

Hold on to Trudy.

You can follow the sound of your voice.

You got ears.

Hold on to Trudy's body.

What?

Like her other leg or her arms.

I'm running to Milton now.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's slow down.

Are you running?

I'm just like in the middle of the road.

There's too many things to do.

Help.

I know what I was like a red dog corpse clanging around.

Okay, we'll say you're in the middle of the road.

At the end of your next turn, you'll be at the car, depending on where the car goes.

Okay.

It is now Kamon Wan's turn.

She's going to pursue the car.

She's overshot it, so she's going to do a drive maneuver to try to like Tokyo drift this thing around in the fucking.

Is she going to roll for that?

Yeah, she is going to roll for that.

This sounds like a pretty tough movie.

I've never heard her drive before.

Same.

We have a very specific thing.

She's trying to driving this entire encounter.

She's driving the entire time.

Well, just now, but I remember thinking the first episode of.

You foreshadow that she's capable of doing

darts.

We'll call this a hard maneuver, is what we'll say.

So she's going to have to get a super success.

Honey, what I'm about to do next is what I call a hard maneuver.

So she got a 98.

Yes.

So she wrenches the vehicle around.

It's a fumble.

It's a fumble, yeah.

And the wheels fall off.

No, the car fucking straight up rolls.

Like it topples.

Boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom.

And just crashes into the ground, upside down and bursts into pieces.

Cool.

She's this massive wreck in front of the McDonald's.

We did it.

So you, oh, you know, you need to do this fucking, there's a little sign that's like, coming soon, drive-through.

Yeah.

And then she drives through the sign.

I love it, Will.

Car-broiled burger for fire.

Decapitation fries.

Decapitation fries.

Big dick, fucking the earth shake.

Okay, it is now.

Oh, stump.

Blake's turn to blink.

Why would it be your turn again?

Blake, Blake, Blake, Blink, Blink, Blake.

You know what?

That's just a test.

And Beth is the best ass.

She did not succumb to any peer pressure at the car.

She's a fucking hero.

I see you're immune to my charm.

Okay, next is the bisons who were driving the car.

And they are also going to turn around because they're like, oh, no, they're getting away.

Don't turn around too hard.

Yeah.

So, yes.

And also

seeing what just happened to Komono.

They're like, whoa, easy.

Three-point turn.

And so they are going to.

That delays their turn.

That delays it.

Three-point turn takes a while.

Well, maybe they're not going to do that.

Go ahead.

Let's see.

They're on the pavement.

They're not on dirt like she was.

So they're going to get a normal drive roll to loop the car back around.

They're not trying to do as outrageous a maneuver.

They're not trying to turn a paddy wagon on the car.

They're trying to do like a normal, illegal U-turn in Los Angeles.

And you're like, hey, that shouldn't even be.

Come on.

Come on.

This should be illegal.

Yeah, this should be legal.

What else am I supposed to do?

Drive five more minutes?

I'm not made of time.

Why do you have lanes?

Damn it.

Yeah.

People figure it out.

I don't know if I'd go to why you have lanes.

The government shouldn't be able to tell me anything.

Matt's totally one of those drivers who's like, everyone else is a bad driver.

No one in LA knows how to drive.

Matt gets pulled over.

He's like, I'm a sovereign citizen.

The two guys driving the truck.

We'll call them Anthony and Matt.

One of them's got big fat hog and it's matt

wait wait wait no wait

one's got a big fat hog the other one's got a long thin hog

one of them only tells the truth and one of them only tells lies can i see what your feels like

bad

no it's anthony and matt oh i thought she was gonna voice anthony um

yeah all right why not let's choose this exact moment to do that i've been curious about it for some time i always thought you were carrying like an inflated like a cabasa in your leg.

I just want to know if your nickname's true.

My nickstick, yeah.

They call you babe.

They call you Wilbur.

They call you some pig.

All right, so they're doing that.

Slim Jim.

So I think they got a role for a disadvantage of their turning while doing this.

They're exploring each other's bodies.

All right, fine.

Get edge the car when you're edging your bro.

All right.

Well, they got a 33 and a 13.

So that despite, I think jerking each other off made them better at this.

Nick, you know what?

I'm really, really dramatic.

Yeah, they took me

Matt's got one hand on the wheel and the other hand on Anthony.

He's rashing around.

Anthony's using both of his hands because he can't.

Well, Anthony did one thing for you, bro.

You're the only person that can join this whole cult.

You know, I only wanted, I didn't even know the name of those three guys in the back.

I have no idea.

Everyone's just sort of a vague blur except for you and my life.

So is that Matt the bison with the big hog?

He wants to go back to my place.

Yeah, I did.

I didn't even know I was doing this.

Hey, everybody's at home.

We can just go to the movie theater and fuck that.

Yeah, dude.

So Anthony pulls on the handbrake and they drive to the nearest cinema.

They were turning back for the fight, but then they decided to go back to Matt.

They just keep the turn going.

So

they do do a very dangerous turn.

No, no, no.

Now they do a very dangerous turn.

So that's rule four.

That's bad.

Let's rule for it all.

Let's rule for a dangerous turn.

Let's see what happens.

And if they die, you're all the fun.

Just to walk through, they were going to run the guys over, and then then

Matt asked Anthony if he could touch his penis, and then they were like, oh, let's try this out.

And then they both have two explicit nicknames.

I felt like now was about time to do it.

This is the best opportunity they're going to have.

Yeah.

Nobody else is looking at them.

The three judging guys

are no longer an issue.

It's tough to get alone time when you're in a cold.

It's true.

Well, finally.

So while they're rubbing each other's bits, they did a cool drift maneuver and the power of their love made it work really well.

So well that they decided, hey, let's just go back to Matt's place and clean up all the Warhammer figures that are fucking lying around everywhere.

I got so much to show you.

I know they're not lying around.

I know they're in a case really pristinely.

You talk to me about it all the time.

So you've decided to continue your tour.

You named the FPCs us.

That's on you.

And then you said Warhammer.

What did you expect?

All right, so they did fail their next role.

They cut blind through the McDonald's fucking hell.

They cut blocking through the McDonald's.

Oh, no.

Unfortunately, but like one person survives, and they're like, I gotta tell their story.

So, yes, the truck flips through the air and lands on his hood and bursts in the plane.

Give them one turn to escape.

Those two boys, they look so happy.

Matt and Anthony, I will write them into the bag.

Dude, my hands are melting onto your dick.

Oh,

it's like the two Vesuvius lavas.

That's funny.

Holy shit.

Oh, shit.

We will deal with them next turn.

It is now the bison on the ground's turn.

He gets up.

Watching them crying.

He's like, what the fuck happened?

What?

The bison on the ground gets up.

And he's like, I didn't hear no Bill.

And he's going to fucking take a shot at Blake lively.

He's seen double, though, so roll 1G2 to see what you're going to be aiming at.

He's got such a funny voice.

He's Swedish.

Are you just meeting?

Ah, fellow Nordic.

That's just what it's called.

You guys should have a full conversation in fake Swedish.

So he takes a swing at you, Freddie, and misses.

Oh, actually, wait.

Do you want to fight back?

Or I shouldn't have fucking said he misses.

We're going to re-roll.

Do you want to fight back, dodge, or

I'll dodge it.

Okay.

Super duper success.

Okay.

He failed his role, so you effortlessly dodge Will's clumsy attempt to punch you in the face, and he staggers forward.

Will is canonically really sleepy because he has a newborn at home.

So he just didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

Don't let that increase your sympathy.

Yeah.

Show no mercy.

He chose to do that.

Is it Blake's turn?

That newborn's never going to know him as a father.

Is it Blake's turn?

Blake's turn?

Hey, hold on.

Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake.

Blake, Blake, Blake.

It's Milton's turn.

Everybody, get ready for Milton's turn.

What's a Milton band now?

Milton's going to run to Kelsey and hold up to her hand.

I'm saying, Milton, Milton, Milton.

Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey.

No, no, no, you need to be quiet so you can hear me.

Milton, Milton, Milton.

Oh, that's good.

We'll give him a hearing roll to see if he can find your voice.

If not, Trude, you could probably do some special echolocation sounding.

Yeah.

Wow, wow, wow, why she's always running awwww.

It's like,

yeah, it's just a plastic sound.

He got an 11, so he's quite used to locking in on the subject.

Yeah, he knows.

And he runs to you and grabs your hand.

And now you've got Milton, the robot body of Trudy and her head.

And you're like, yes.

I feel like every season, eventually Matt picks up all the characters and moves them.

I'm going to play a really small person next time, I think.

So I can't think of big people.

It is Trudy's turn.

Oh, I forgot.

You're still paranoid.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, no, that's my bad.

We'll say that you had one turn of like, it felt like Kelsey was on your side, but now you're like, wait a second.

But Milton's the one person you care about.

Yeah.

Milton?

Milt?

Milton?

What's up?

What's up?

What's up, Trudy?

Get me out of here.

Oh, my God.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Oh, okay.

Look, we're safe.

We're with

Kelsey.

Give me away.

Give me away.

Would you like to bite Kelsey?

Yeah, I think I will.

She's got to try.

Yeah.

What muscles is she using to move her head around?

She's got little servos in there.

She's got like.

We'll say that like you're, you could jaw and like, you know, cut.

Okay, hold on.

That's your neck.

Yeah, where am I beheaded?

Here or here?

Here?

You got a little neck?

Yeah.

You got some neck.

I think I got some neck action.

You're like a bust.

You got little motors in there.

You can wiggle around a little bit.

So we'll say you can wiggle free to bite her in the arm.

Do I get like a pose?

Yes, you do.

Give me a fighting brawl roll to bite Kelsey.

Yeah, I do a super duper success.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Great.

With a super duper success, you bite into Kelsey.

Wow.

So give me, what's your damage for an unarmed strike?

Brawl is 1d3 plus damage bonus.

Give me the 1d3, but let's not do the damage bonus because that's more for like punching someone.

This is just a bite.

So we'll give me a 1d3 roll to bite Kelsey.

That's a two.

Okay, so that's two.

Two tooth.

Kelsey, when Trudy bites you, you feel his teeth dig in on your side, and then you also feel a zap of electricity portion.

Wow.

So give me a constitution saving throw.

And if you fail this, you are going to drop Trudy.

I got 90.

Oh, it's a fail.

Yes, it's a fail.

Oh, yes.

Okay, so yeah.

So zap, like, yeah, there's like a big spark.

It's like you were walking on a wool carpet.

I mean, I'm surprised.

I dropped Trudy.

Trudy!

Trudy's now falling onto the ground.

And yeah, we'll see Milton get zap too.

Oh,

Milton got an 11, so he passed with fine colors.

He's like, I'm good.

Wow.

Not the first time I've been shocked.

All right.

I guess.

I don't know what that means.

Trudy slams onto the ground.

It is now.

Blake.

Blake.

Blake.

Blake's.

Blake.

Blake.

Blake.

Blake's turn.

Yeah.

So Blake is going to go to this guy who we've established as also a Nordic.

He's going to grab him some of the bad.

Yes, will the Nordic

bison with the baby at home.

And Blake holds him close and he pulls his knife out and he goes, you will meet your son in Valhalla.

Oh my God.

He stabs the shit out of him.

All right, give me a fighting brawl roll.

I like that.

Blake, they didn't know he had a son.

Fighting brawl.

Some dads, you just know.

You just know.

I'll spend three luck to get a regular success.

Okay.

So I'm down to seven luck.

You really want to kill this guy.

He's going to fight back.

oh he got a failure you got an 82 all right so

dang because the knife as we've established is pretty hardcore it's uh five damage oh he ain't gonna be in season four uh and he took four damage already

and then whatever his damage was from falling off the car he is going to take a constitution saving throw or whatever it's called in this game which he fails so this knife sinks into his chest

ryan he looks up at you and says take care of my boys

And then he passes out.

Wait, don't kill them, though.

That's not what I meant.

And he is now unconscious.

And if he is not good medical attention, he will die.

Well, he's dead.

I guess we know what's happening to him.

And then Blake stands posed, victorious, with a bloody knife in his hand.

The flames of the McDonald's rising up into the night sky behind him.

And for the first time, you see the true, fearsome warrior that Blake Lively is and has always been.

A guy who kicks people when they're down.

He's also killed like nine people.

Yes.

But now I'm silhouetted in the nights.

That's true.

That's true.

Kelsey can't help it.

So I'm going to tell BB, turn around, turn around, turn around.

We got to get them up.

We got to pick him up.

We're going to attempt to turn around and go back.

And whoever is closest to us, be that Blake or Milton.

Everyone's mashing,

mashing the U's.

Yeah, exactly.

As the car goes around.

You don't have to rush anymore.

Trains are all blown up.

You skid the car to a halt.

We'll just say sort of center.

You've got Blake on one side.

You've got Kelsey with her retinue on the other.

You see Shane Silva Jr.

like poke his head out from the bushes where he was hiding.

He's like, wait for me.

And he starts limping over to you guys.

And as you are doing that, everyone's closing in.

So we'll say everyone is one turn away from piling into the jalapi.

And then you hear a rumbling coming from the truck that's burning.

The Kimonwan truck.

The Kimonwan truck.

And then you see your mother burst out from the back of the truck.

Just a tangling, twisting pile of limbs and skin and hair and teeth with your father's skin poncho flapping in the wind.

Her hair is kind of like on fire.

She looks a little fucked up, but she's still like fucking hanging in there.

I turn to Timmy and I go, women.

Whoa.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

I shouldn't make a light.

My fucking mom's on fire.

She's going to kill us.

I know, but you didn't have to take it there.

That sucks.

It's your problem, man.

Jesus.

Oh, shit.

I should really re-examine my Pisces after we kill my pop.

Yeah, dude.

Fucking

hippieism Betty Ferdinand, man.

Come on.

That was another book that Kelsey read from

Feminine Mystique.

Movie Dick and That.

The two genders.

Timmy was like, I'm out.

Judy wasn't going to teach you that in homeschool.

So she comes out.

She's fucked up.

So the car sort of careened, we'll say, another space away.

So she staggers out and she locks eyes with you, Francis, and this look of determination comes comes over her, and she just starts crawling towards the car.

It's like a rhinoceros charging, just like this big, monsterish thing just studding towards you.

So she will be where the car is at the end of the next turn.

And are we in between her and the car, or is the car between us and her?

I feel like the car is between you guys and her.

Because she drove past.

Yes.

But if anyone doesn't get picked up, it'll be.

Yeah, if the car drove away, then she would just be running at us.

Yeah.

It's Matt and Anthony's turn.

Okay, so.

Wait, they're dead.

No, you get a chance to survive.

They're in an on-fire car.

They're pinned underneath.

Which of us hasn't been in an on-fire car before?

Come on.

What do you got?

Matt and Anthony, what do you do?

So, Anthony's definitely going to try to push Matt out of the driver's seat.

Be like, tell my story.

No, no, you tell my story.

You tell my story.

Are you?

You have so much more to live for than you.

You have so much to live for.

You have a family.

Guys, get out of the car.

It's burning.

No, no, I'm not.

You're blocking me anymore.

I'm pushing him out first.

Living without you is no life at all.

I guess we could stay here.

Please, we could just chill.

Please, I have a family.

I don't know what Anthony wants to do, but Matt is holding on to him as tight as possible.

Okay, apparently, Beth is in the back seat.

Oh, yeah.

There was a fourth bison in the back seat.

Beth, the bison, is in the back seat and wants to get out.

What is Beth?

Tell our story.

You tell our story.

We're both pushing you out.

Tell our story.

Tell our story.

Okay, well, I need to tell my story, you know.

I just feel like there's not a lot of like I always say.

Oh, we all need to hear your story.

stories are so bad.

I know, but I just like, I just feel like in the 50s, I'm just not well represented right now.

Can I tell your story?

All right, the car explodes and you all die.

No!

No!

The last thing we wanted to imagine

goes, I'm going to tell their story.

Who dies?

So they're out of the turn order.

Thank fucking God.

Nice job, Matt.

We managed to kill two fucking NBCs with no effort left over.

This is great.

Didn't have to roll a single dice.

The bison on the ground is unconscious.

So yes.

Oh, so yes, here's the situation we find ourselves in.

Kelsey, we'll say that at the end of your turn, you will be at the car and then can get in.

You're holding Milton's hand.

Trudy's falling onto the ground.

Milton's going to do a listening roll to see if he heard that Trudy fell out of your hands.

And so he failed his listen role.

So he does not know that Trudy has hit the ground.

So he's holding on to you, Kelsey.

He's basically going to just delay his turn until you are done with your turn.

So he's going to go right after you now.

And Trudy, it is your turn.

So you've just landed on the the ground you are on turn four of six for your paranoia okay i think if trudy's just like stay away stay away from me don't but don't anybody come near me i i'll bite

give me an intimidation roll you want to fail this i do fail it yeah okay yeah you say that and milton who is the one npc i have control of hears that but because you failed your intimidation role he realizes that you're in trouble and you're in danger and that you're not quite in your right mind so he's going to try to pick you up on his next turn blake it's your turn blake stabbed the guy i haven't gone yet did we miss your turn Yeah, now you might get confused because Matt and Anthony had a turn.

Oh, God.

Fuck.

I am confused.

My bad.

I apologize, Matt.

No,

it's my fault for having fun with Anthony doing that thing.

Yeah, it's our fault.

We'll never have fun again.

Kelsey, it is your turn.

You got shocked.

You've recovered your control of your body, but she's now screaming at you.

Frances opened the door.

Yeah, that's my plan.

Okay, so here's what we'll say:

this is what I want.

This is what I want.

You could get to Francis' car this turn,

or you can run back and get Trudy this turn.

I want to make it so that I wouldn't get there in one turn.

I would drag Milton, but as I'm running, I'm going to stop to kick like Beckham.

You're a big Beckham fan, I understand.

I was going to kick Trudy's head into the car.

Now, are you going to succeed like someone who's not Leeds?

Hey.

Hey.

I'm a fan of Leeds, too.

I don't know why I said that.

I'm sorry, Leeds.

We just did a free kick.

We just got a stack, baby.

I don't know.

Yes, I did.

I bet they cheated to get that free kick.

What's happening?

I'm going to kick.

I wanted to see if I could.

put trudy into

the door not into the door into the open door because i'm scared to pick her up because she's biting because she's a biter so it's you know yeah it's like if you saw like a raccoon like with rabies like trying to run out your dog or you or something you kicked off you're dragging the body you have milton in one hand no it's always milton was holding on milton's holding onto your dress or something like that so you've got the body dragging one hand then you've got one free hand and then you've got Trudy on the ground.

And knowing that Trudy is paranoid and is going to bite, if I try to pick her up, I'm going to kick her into the grass.

love that for you.

So, yes, give me a dexterity roll to kick Trudy.

Are you kicking her hard?

Why?

Because I have like zero hit points.

Oh, I don't think this is going to be a damage thing, right?

I'm not damaging her, but kicking her.

Unless it goes really bad.

Beth, don't worry.

I know, because

you were talking about

the initial kick will not do damage.

Depending on where you land, there could be damage in your future.

Okay.

I got an eight.

Whoa!

Which is a super, duper success.

Okay, paint me the picture.

So just like Leeds, just like Stack,

just like our new player.

What's his name?

What's his full name?

This man kicked a good ball today.

Yeah, just go to the ad break.

Anton Stack.

Like Anton Stack, free kicking against wolves.

Fucking tied up one, one, one, free kick from about 40 feet out.

I just kicked it.

40 feet?

Yeah, 40 feet.

No.

I mean, what?

His kick was we found.

Against the Wolverhampton Wanderers.

And yes.

Anyways, this thing just goes straight.

It doesn't just fly in at full speed.

Like you think it's going too fast.

And then as it approaches the door, you realize it was a delicate touch and just lands right in Timmy's lap.

Like it goes,

it has a lot of backspin on it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Timmy screams at seeing his mother's head land in his lap.

Trudy screams at being somewhere where there's a person.

Well done.

And now me and Milton are going to die because we're out here.

Tell my story, Trudy.

So much storytelling going on this episode.

Blake, blake blake blake blake blake it's your turn blake gets in the car sick god damn i want blake you want to do it all cool he did he did that was the coolest way he could do it he just did it

all right blake gets in the car francis it is your turn your mother is thundering down the road towards you right now what would happen if i tried to drive up to kelse milton they're away from your your mother so if you guys lurch towards them you'll be at them and they can get in on their next turn i'll do that then the uh

looking for a downside?

I am looking for a downside.

Yeah, because that doesn't, I mean, I guess that makes sense, right?

You gun it, the car's a fucking fine, and then we'll just be in a fun little chase.

So yes, describe what you do.

I follow the arc of Trudy's head being kicked into our car and I go, whoa, what was that?

And then I see Trudy's headless body and Kelsey and Francis is deeply confused and also just trying to ignore his mom and dealing with a lot.

But he just goes,

and he points at them to BB, implying, please go drive over to them.

And BB, I would assume, gets it.

Okay, great.

Yes.

And BB's going to spin the wheel around and gun it towards them.

Kimon Juan is going to, undaunted, pursue you guys in like the T-Rex chasing that fucking Jeep.

More legs and limbs are sprouting from this tangle of flesh that is her body.

And she's thundering after you now.

I speared away.

She's like one of the demons in Prince of Fonanoke.

Kind of just like,

Kelsey with Milton, right?

The car speeds up to you.

You've got the body.

We'll say that

BB clocks that you've got this extra piece of sort of metal cargo with you.

So she pops the trunk

and skids to a halt right in front of you and says,

Need a ride?

You need to go?

Yeah.

Do you need to go somewhere?

Yeah, that's okay.

Get in.

Okay, let me go.

I'm going to throw a Trudy's body into the trunk, and I just dive in also to save time.

Oh, to the trunk?

Sick.

Okay.

And then Milton just sort of bumbles into the trunk with you.

Okay.

We're just sitting.

Which is good.

It's probably way too crowded in the air.

Yeah, we're sitting in the back, like we're looking backwards, like those old cars.

Oh, with the trunk open?

No, and those cars that had the seats facing backwards.

Remember, you ever have those station wagons?

Yeah, yeah, that seats that were backwards.

Like they had a lot of the trunk, yeah.

But I'm in the trunk, but you're in the trunk.

I'm still

means that anybody in the car won't be able to look into the rear view.

Oh, that's true.

And see Kimon Juan.

That's very fun.

Um, okay, so yes, you guys jump in.

BB burns rubber.

Comon Juan gives monster chase, and we are now in a monster versus car cartridge through the mean streets of Beachy Hill.

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Shopify.com/slash daddies.

It's easy to be a superhero.

You don't need a cape or x-ray vision.

You just need to sign up for PowerSaver Rewards.

That way, when you save energy during a flex alert, you get a credit back on your energy bill.

Visit powersaverrewards.org and become a super power saver.

The jalopy speeds off down the road, and we now find ourselves in a sick, spooky street chase through the streets of Peachyville.

I wanted to establish a couple things right away, which is I did a lot of thinking about

what manner of jalopy this is.

And I would like you all to Google

the Kaiser Fraser Vagabond, which is the very first hatchback car.

No.

Vagabond.

Yeah, Vagabond, V-A-G-A-B-O-N-D.

Kaiser Permanente, what, Soze?

The Kaiser Fraser Vagabond.

The Kaiser Permanente Fraser-Sozé Vagabond.

It's like this is a classic-looking car.

What's cool about it is that the back seat folds down, the hatchback trunk pops up.

So I figured this was the best way to give you guys the ability to move freely about the cabin.

This is built for the original car camping.

Are you seeing the picture of the horse in the back?

Sorry, what?

I'm sorry, what?

There's a picture of a horse.

Yeah, check out images.

Just search Kaiser Fraser Vagabond.

That's a small horse.

Yeah, they are lying about the size of the average horse with that image.

I just thought it was a cool car.

I wanted to talk about cool cars.

This is the default 1950s car that's in my brain when I think 1950s.

But it has a trunk that opens up really big.

All the way.

This trunk goes all the way down.

This car has the biggest trunk pussy I've ever seen.

Like, it is cavernous.

I literally

said, man, you got a big trunk.

Man, you got a big trunk.

She said, why did you say it twice?

I said, I didn't.

Oh, God.

Oh, my goodness.

All right, back to the spooky chasing, guys.

Come on, focus.

You focus.

I'm going to put some little fucking doodads out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This hasn't been a doodads podcast.

90% of the way into this podcast, and here come the doodads.

Will it just mad?

We're like dungeons and doodads.

This is like when my nephew wants me to play with him, where he's like, okay, this is you, and this is me, and this is my stuffed animal, and this is this army guy.

You're playing like a strategy game.

Like an RTS.

No, we're playing pretend, but we, like, what?

Well, but this is you.

Does he just, what are you?

I'm always like the bad guy.

So you're the evil.

Yeah.

So basically, we're going to do this in classic call.

Cut through the rules.

There's a certain number of like generic locations between you and the person who's pursuing you right now.

Kamonwana is two locations behind you because you burned rubber.

You've made it out of the McDonald's.

You can spend a move action.

I guess actually right now, BB can spend a move action to drive the car.

And she can go one location or she can floor it and go up to three locations, we'll say but with a risk should you come up to any um fucking obstacles or anything like that you're gonna be a disadvantage for fucking pacing she would be rolling driving driving okay so can you remind me what her driving side is because i'm in control of her oh yeah we should we should toss her out of the car everyone real quick i'm sorry toss her into the back seat of the car all right real quick what's everyone's i got driving i got like 75 you have 75 i have 20 i have 20.

I have 10.

Or at least I used to.

Now you have five.

You have to grip on it with your teeth and hope gravity does the rest.

She does R2-D2 stuff.

We have not established

stuff, those little cables dangling down below.

Like, I feel like you can just hide.

Trudy, there's a fire in the back, and you lock it down.

I don't know.

R2-D2 stuff's

if you stick Trudy's head up here to the sunroof, she can be like R2I actually.

Hey, babe,

you want to go to my car and do R2-D2 stuff?

Briddy, really, really.

R2 stop confusing power terminals with computer sockets or whatever the fuck you guys are.

R2 shut down all the glory holes on the detention level.

Okay.

Okay.

What do you think is R2 speak for stepbrother?

I think that was it.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

So yes, you guys are zooming down the road.

I would like to try to switch spots.

with BB.

BB, okay.

BB is currently flooring it down the car.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

You You're doing great.

What?

Oh, here's here's how we take over.

Let me take over.

But how am I gonna go?

How are we gonna do that without fucking breaking the car?

Very simple.

And then I just lift her from the back seat and then Kelsey can just scoot on in.

Yeah, I'll just jump in.

B, just don't turn the steering wheel when he lifts you up.

Okay, okay.

The car will slow down for a tiny bit.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Give me a dexterity roll to because you're all the way in the back.

Yes, but Blake is the one grabbing her.

Blake is the one grabbing her, but you've got to climb all the way from the back into the front seat without fucking anything up or wrecking the car.

Yeah, yeah.

But looking at, wait, wait, but looking at the car you picked.

Yeah, but there's like 16 people in this car, Matt.

At present, you're in the way back because that was where you jumped in the truck.

Well, also, who's in the passenger seat?

So, yes.

It's like me and

the friend.

Oh, yeah.

No, it's one of those where there's like three people in the front seat.

Yeah.

Because I feel like the second BB goes up, one of us is going to grab the steering wheel and keep us on track.

All right, great.

Fine.

Then the car will not spin out.

Matt, in order to make it up the car, give me a dexterity roll.

If you flub your roll, you'll still make it, but the car slows down and Kamo Mon is going to get to catch up one location.

And you add two ticks to the tire wear sheet well you guys are going to have a little bit of penalty for having one tire shot out by

Mr.

Trout am I still at like crazy I think we can be done with the paranoia we'll say the paranoia has worn off okay here we go sorry i was am i still scared of sinning or why you are okay 55 55 and my dexterity is 57.

oh just barely that fucking tachometer starting to dip and then you just fucking put your grippers on it just stick those grippers i take my shoes off because i only drive i'm driving my grippers out.

I want to feel the room.

I don't need the extra.

Anyway, like, I don't trust.

I don't trust the accelerator to pull back on its own.

I can put my little toes right over at the top.

And I move it like a lever.

I know you guys are too old for Spongebob, but the driving lesson where he sticks his toe out of the shoe and just drives with his big toe out of his shoe.

Classic.

All right.

So in that case, you maintain speed.

Good job, BB.

It would be remiss.

If I didn't ask, where are we going?

Oh, that's

right.

I should know where we're going.

Where are we going?

First, we should take three right turns.

That way, we'll know if this person behind us is following.

Okay, I take a first right.

Really quick.

Are you asking if the monster that's chasing you is really following you?

Maybe you're on someone else.

I am offloading the thinking to the other members of my party.

I'm driving and focusing.

I can do the thinking.

It's kind of all I can do now.

I'm so sorry that I shot the tire.

I was scared.

Does any one of us know off the top of our heads where the cavern where Trudy met Mothman with all the disassemble?

is.

That's probably a good call.

Trudy, do you know what?

When Trudy was there, she would presumably remember.

And he flew you in a way that you were seeing this ground below you.

He did fly me.

Yeah.

Oh, Mothman.

I wish she was here.

Kelsey pours out some water out of the car and gets the wind chief.

Oh, God.

Well, I remember the cave being in the forest.

I turned towards the closest forest instantly.

Whenever I hear, I'm going.

You just hit a tree.

It was kind of close to that bunker, right?

I guess no, all of you guys could, in theory, know this because you all have been there.

And we established it was very king of the world style.

That Mothman was like holding her, and she was facing the ground, soaring.

So she would have seen.

She's got all the land.

All that lines are true, yes.

All that LiDAR data, dude.

Beth, give me a no-roll for Trudy.

Okey-doke.

A 10, and my Edge U is 65.

That's super duper then.

Trudy's eyes spark and she goes like,

and now she's giving you perfect GPS.

I plug in one of her little dangling things into the radio into the radio in 500 feet

Matt give me a electric repair roll oh no I'm sorry when possible make a u-turn

trudy do Clark Gable's voice

I don't really like that I like that I just don't know you didn't have to do it just the idea that there was a Clark Gable

did you fumble no no I didn't fumble all right that would have been something funny I got it you short out the radio The cars are radio no longer.

We're going to have to sing our own songs.

But yes, Trudy knows the directions to Mothman's cave.

We'll say it's like five locations from here.

Wow.

But hold on, hold on.

We should probably take care of the thing following us before we go to the cave.

We can multitask.

How do we take care of the thing behind us?

Gun check?

Who has guns?

Guns?

You set a course.

You're heading out of town, up through the winding country road to the cave that Trudy was thrown into where she met Mothman.

The cave of wonders.

The cave of wonders.

The fucking engines are running and jumping and gunning and bumping and bumping and zooping and zap.

Matt, you're in charge of the car.

I'm focusing on driving.

We don't need a multitask.

We have multiple of us to each do one task.

I drive.

You guys figure out how to stop that thing.

And then like in movies when the car is going as fast as you think it can go and then they like go and they somehow just go faster.

Oh yeah, they downshift.

I just go a little faster.

I just go a little faster now.

Okay, so I can do this two more times.

I got two more speeds in this baby.

And then if you look really close, it's just like you're just pressing the gas button.

Yeah, just pressing the gas button.

I press it again.

I got one more speed to go after this guys.

Would you say that you are flooring it?

Are you being careful or are you being fast?

No, I'm not being careful.

There's a thing guys.

I'm going as fast as possible.

Okay, great.

All right.

In that case, you can move two locations this turn.

And we will roll for those in a second.

But first, I want to see if anyone wants to do anything to potentially attack or slow down or otherwise stop Kamon Juan, who is in hot pursuit.

Do we have any He's going to get to move after your guys' collection.

Like three NPCs with him.

We have three NPCs with us.

I would like to cast my gaze around the car to sort of make an inventory of what we have within.

It's the most DD fucking line Amy's ever said in this thing.

I'm like,

to see what

within.

All right, well, that voice is definitely your character in season four.

I would like to cast what spell, Anthony?

Ah, my gaze.

Oh, what a clever ruse, my bitch.

You certainly had us in the first half.

Prince, tell us what you cast your gaze upon.

My surrounds.

To see what lies within, indeed.

So do you do

the sound of dice rolls.

This could be a good DD podcast if we.

Oh, what a conundrum.

You find there's the light which lights upon your eyes.

You see before you father, shattered into bits.

You see before you, laid out in the rain.

Esther, can you lay some like medieval-ass like fucking fantasy adventure music under that?

You know, like some harpsichords or something.

As you cast your gaze around the car, you see some condom wrappers.

You see, again, this is an old jalopy lying on the side of the road.

You see some half-filled bottles of liquors.

Wait, this has to be one of Tony's fucking Shag shit.

You've, you've, you, well, well, well, Freddy, you've epiphanied your way into my dramatic reveal.

Yes, you do indeed.

How magic is this?

Your wisdom is even higher than your intelligence in this situation.

You have to be most kindly, my lord.

Francis finds a receipt from Tony's Cars, Cars, Cars.

That you realize that this was rented out to a couple of rowdy locals who were hoping to get their fuck on and probably got had to get chased out of the car when the curfew started.

Francis makes a quick side of the cross, kisses his fingers, and points up at JC.

At TC.

At TC.

So we got bottles.

Can somebody throw the bottles, baby?

Oh, very good.

Did old cars have the like cigarette lighter?

Well, we can say that there's a cigarette lighter because then we can make a malt off cocktail.

Oh,

what's the liquor part?

The bottle.

You said half a dozen cocktails.

Are there used condoms around?

Yeah, there's one malt off condale.

Is that what you're suggesting?

Maybe the only thing grosser than a big monster chasing you is a bunch of used condoms.

Is your mom icky about that stuff?

Well, she raw dogged my dad at least once, so probably not.

I'm okay with my mom being a sexual being.

Yeah, also, you don't know if they raw dog.

There could have been a mishap.

You know, condoms only work like a a certain amount of time.

Yeah, dude, that's a good thing.

I mean, pretty much all the time.

I wouldn't know because I never use them.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, people love saying condoms don't work all the time.

Babe, I can't.

Babe, oh, yeah, I guess for you.

I guess, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, if they don't work all the time, then they don't really work any other time, right?

Why take the risk?

That's all I'm saying.

Why take the risk?

Yeah, why run the risk, babe?

I'd rather know why it happened.

I want a total certitude, but I look back on this moment.

I'm not saying I have a latex allergy, but it's more of a sensitivity.

You, so yes, in the car, you see there are some bottles of various levels of filledness with liquor and other substances.

You see some old condoms that may have other substances in them if you take a closer look.

In terms of the people in the car, there are the four of you and then Timmy, who I believe has a switchblade.

No, he gave a switchblade to Trudy, but Trudy's body got gone.

No, but we have the body in here.

We have the body in here.

You could dump the body.

You could dump my body.

No, no, no, no.

We could still get your stall for what?

Like two seconds?

No, no, no.

I don't.

Do we know?

There's some sharpness that you don't know about.

Everybody give me a no roll.

Ooh, super success.

I failed.

Matthew, success.

Or rather, Kelsey and Trudy, you guys remember that when you were escaping Tucker Trout's house, the original Trudy in her robot body pressed a little button on her chest that caused it to self-destruct.

Trudy.

How are we going to press the button?

Oh, I mean, other people have hands.

Oh, yeah.

Do we remember how quickly it something like is he press the button and it blows up?

It's like, you know, probably a couple of seconds.

It's like a beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Drew, do you know what to do?

Were you attempting to role play, like, cooking a grenade?

Is that what you were hoping to achieve?

Beep.

I was just

I didn't want to press a button.

It just blow up.

Can you imagine?

That would have been so fucking good if I did that.

Here's what we should do.

We should throw some object out first to figure out how far back they are to get the timing right.

Oh, yeah.

Like those cliff divers when they throw the rock first.

Yes, exactly.

I believe it's called sounding.

Sounding?

No.

I don't.

I'll be sounding.

You guys worry about this.

Okay.

That's a good idea.

We could try the treaty.

Well, Trudy, do you want to lose your body, though?

Just throw like one of my hands out first and see how long it takes.

Oh, Trudy, we have bottles.

Sure, bottles.

Also, while we test this,

I'll say goodbye to my body.

Oh, wait, wait, there might be another way.

Does anybody have any illusion spells?

I can swap bodies.

I guess my mom.

If it sounds less silly, I could ask that out of the character.

Because I have to be serious.

Again, I have the spell of the ability to swap bodies with my mom so I can make her stop chasing us.

That's true.

But also, I don't know if she's going to be able to do that.

But then she might die in her body.

Did she just get to keep her in the body?

Wait, wait.

Here's a question.

Here's a question.

If you swap bodies with her.

Spin.

Swap bodies and spin a lot.

So she's...

If you swap back.

And if we've gone far enough away, that's really good.

You swap bodies.

We, okay, we tie down Frances right now.

We we tie him down so that when she pops in she can't do anything you swap bodies yeah just start running the opposite direction and spin as fast as you can

she's in the car she's driving the car right no she's running after us on like all the time

you spin around a lot and then we get like two more locations far away and she's disoriented and yeah my mom has vertigo and you're oh good

here's an idea wait here's an idea and then we can keep your body trudy and matt if we just were driving up the cliff right i mean up a road up a cliff but yeah up a cliff you want me to jump off the cliff

off a cliff and swap back baby yeah but spin too.

But spin.

But jump.

Make sure everybody feels like their plan is disrespected.

You're disoriented.

So I have one thing to say, which is that normally this takes like a couple hours to get out of the spin.

However, this is

how much gas.

How much gas do we have?

Just drive that circle for a while.

It's like it's speed.

We get to the airport and we're just doing laps.

Hold on.

I've almost got signal lock.

That's really funny.

I will say, if you guys want to do this, I will allow it.

But Francis is going to have to dump a lot of sanity points to turbocharge this body swap.

And then even then, it's only going to last for a couple minutes.

What if we do do the plan where we drive around for several hours?

I have a mental suggestion.

I could just maybe like get Kimon Juan to like not follow us.

Maybe.

That's because I was thinking, I don't know.

I was going to try to do the master and commander trick, which is if we turn the corner or whatever, if we could get another pair of headlights to go to a different, like, if she turns the corner and she sees like two pairs of headlights or like two things that like, so two pairs of tail lights, tail lights, headlights, yeah, or we could do the uh, the one battle after another and find a hill.

Oh, or

or I could cast body warping of Gorgoroth again and turn into a human flesh car that then is identical.

Yeah, you might die, but yeah, and I'll turn off my taillights.

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

When we turn the corner, you turn off your taillights, and then all of a sudden I'm like a grotesque cars-esque car, and then I run the other.

Yeah.

This is the dumbest way you're ever going to die.

So hold on.

Hold on.

You have the spell up, right?

Yes.

Can you read the description of the spell to me, Freddy?

It allows the caster to change his or her physical form.

I'm only half joking here.

The caster must invoke, must invoke Nayara Latotep.

And repeat the phrases of the spell for some minutes while expending magic points.

When you turn into him, it's like just says yo on the back because all the rest of Nayo Larthotep has been passed away.

How big can you get?

Can you get bigger than yourself?

He only needs to replicate the back.

The sorcerer can change.

He doesn't need to look like a whole car.

Like just from the back

on the line.

Just from, like, he can look like a big flag.

Just like, you know,

you issue Wiley Coyote this.

He's the eldritch B.

When fucking programmers had to be official with their graphics and do things where they wouldn't draw what you don't see.

The sorcerer can change to any shape and appearance.

Though retaining personal abilities, The form must be fleshy, though it can appear to be of stone, wood, a rug, etc.

Okay, one thing, etc.

Oh, yeah, a rug car.

Once changed into a new shape, the cast has the mobility of that shape.

So I am as cast as the car.

And I have to spend two hours to be my mom and that way.

Oh, you get?

I probably need to.

I have to watch a movie while thinking about my mom in order to do anything cool.

And you just get to do that.

So wait, what does it say about the mobility?

Once changed into a new shape, the cast are the from the mobility of that shape.

What?

Wait, wait, that's crazy.

I could be, I'm like a transformer.

Yeah, that's crazy.

We could have gotten out of the ocean so much easier.

I know.

I could have just transformed into an F-14.

I don't know.

You know, the poster of this car, by the way, for some reason, they kept selling it as two cars in one.

So I like that when this happens, she goes, Wow.

Two cars in one.

All right, what do you guys want to do?

I mean, obviously, obviously that.

But wait, is there any way?

But, Blake, you're so brave.

But how are we going to to get you back from this situation?

Yes, how big is Kamone Juan right now?

Like, she can't go into a sewer, right?

She's about the size of the car.

Like, she's still on fire, also.

She can't go into a sewer.

Like, like, you know, I was saying, like, Freddy could, like, run.

And once she's like chasing Freddy, Blake, once there's enough distance, he can just go through a check.

Someone do a sewer cap.

And then we'll find him later.

Also, what's your stealth, Freddy?

My stealth is not so good.

Okay.

How many times can you do that?

He like go from that to like an ant?

Like, are you just air?

Well, I need to.

Well, so hold on, hold on.

How powerful is the spell you have?

Well, I need to, I need to recast it.

Go into my mom's butt and then make yourself fit.

Oh, my God.

I just need to.

Well, okay, so to be clear, since I am Brian Stokes Mitchell right now, I do need to recast the spell.

So like, there's like a lot of rolling that might need to happen regardless.

I guess to make this happen.

It'll take a turn or two for him to do it.

Like, I'm not going to just let him instantly turn into a but we're a couple locations away from her.

So as long as we do like a tight turn, we can have him turn carefully at this point.

We'll probably maintain our lead.

Yes.

All right.

So the plan is.

Team, we got three options.

They're all really good.

Everybody did a great job of coming up with these.

We got great brainstorming.

I was just writing them on the

body as a bomb.

Pros might blow up.

Camone might be done in that.

Yeah.

Negative, we lose your body.

And I think we can still reattach you or something.

Yeah, it's a free bomb.

We'd be missing too.

Okay.

Second option.

Francis, you turn into your mom.

Your mom turns into you.

You spin a lot.

So you get disease.

I love the method of the health.

I'm so important to you.

Is it spinning?

While you go the opposite direction, Frances, you gotta rub it this part.

You've gotta spin.

Francis, you gotta look down or spray down and spin as fast as you can.

And

you wait for about like two turns worth, so there were many locations away, and she's disoriented from the spin.

Or, or Blake, you turn into a car creature and you run in the opposite direction when we turn off our taillights.

I know as a listener which one I would want.

Or I have mental suggestions.

That can help on all all of them.

That could just help sell any of these ideas.

Okay.

That was the most and peggy ass moment of roleplay.

Aunt Peggy.

Mental suggestion actually probably will be super helpful if we're trying to make her.

If I just made her turn away a different way.

You're going to be like, you know what's really fun that you haven't done since you were a kid?

Spin as fast as you can.

Your one track mind is amazing.

But if we do the car thing, like you can definitely suggest to her, like that car on the left that looks a little bit like Blake is the real one.

All right, I want to make a point of order about body warping of Goragoth.

Okay, yeah.

No, you let us know which one of these three options is most likely to succeed.

All I'm going to say is this.

It says that the sorcerer retains personal abilities.

Once in a new shape, the castro has the mobility of that shape.

So I think that means you have the mobility of the shape of a car.

But like, I don't know that it means you could go 60 miles an hour.

No, I think it doesn't have to, to be fair.

Yes, I think you will say that you can run at full speed speed and you will have your normal motion.

Oh, no, no.

No, bitch.

Are you the fucking dude?

It says shape, but it doesn't say of the thing.

No, okay.

So, what's the shape?

The shape without a motor.

I think he's being very kind, by the way, because a car without a motor running

does not go fast.

We're going to say that.

But maybe turn to a trapezoid.

You won't be stuck, right?

Like, you will be able to move, but I'll say you move.

Like, remember in cars, when the cars use their wheels, like feet?

Sometimes the cars go, but they're like, when they're in front of this

like when lightning mcqueen blows his tire he can still like move his leg he can kind of like crawl with his tires as if they were feet so we'll say that you have your regular move speed and that's what it looks like i once again would like to argue

really and end right there that's it

just a shot jump to okay so this is what we're doing freddy friend Freddie take the W.

We've won this.

No, but like if I can't move, I'm going to get swallowed up by this thing.

Okay, wait, wait, that's happening regardless.

That's why we have the spin.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bombing you up.

That's why you're focusing on this part we can't change.

What do you think about?

Mobility is a separate category.

It's called out specifically, right?

This is all I'm saying.

Yeah.

This is all I'm saying.

If you transform into a horse,

you acquire the mobility, which is the move value, M-O-V, which is not the same as strength, con, int, pow, dirty,

horse, and a car.

MOV is its own thing.

But the car, are you turning it to the exact shape of the engine?

Like, are you turning it into a combustible engine?

Is the question.

Like, are you taking it?

Mental suggestion to be like, hey, follow that horse.

That car turned into a horse.

A horse.

Wait, if you turn into a horse, would he run as fast as a horse?

So I

answer this.

Read what you have said.

This is really important, Will.

It's not difficult questions.

It's the answer to the question.

So much.

If he turned into a horse, this would be my argument.

The thing in pop culture that this spell most represents is the abilities of the T-1000.

And if you remember when they're explaining the T-1000, Edward Furling's like, why didn't you just turn into a gun and shoot us?

And Arnold Chorse and he was like, you can't do complex machines.

So I think that if he turned into a horse, because a horse is like a physical animal, and his legs are turning into horse legs, and his body is turning into a horse body.

Yes, he could run at the speed of a horse.

I don't think there's any world where he turns into a car.

Well, wait a second.

No, I agree.

So now their world.

All right, here, hold on.

Hold on.

Can we make the horse look like a car in the question?

That way we can get the best of both worlds.

That's what I'm trying to say.

So wait,

it's two horses in one.

Wait, what?

What if we made it a horse-drawn carriage?

I'm just saying it's like a car.

Look, look, clearly we're just brainstorming here.

Say, Space.

This is what she thinks is a bad idea.

Trying to make everybody happy.

If Freddy wants to ride space as a horse, and then Beth has the power suggestion, because she had the good idea of saying, I could make her say, like, that horse is actually the car.

How many horsepower does the vagabond have?

So how many horses?

I don't know.

Take two bottles.

right make them the distance of taillights freddy turns into a horse we get those bottles and they you you know, when they cast a little reflection, they're just kidding.

It's dark.

I'm just saying, I'm just saying, dark.

Can't cast a reflection off a horse.

Off of a mic sledgehammer.

Like street lights.

It's shiny glass.

I say, can we make the back of Freddy as a horse look more like a car?

Oh, and then, so you're saying, and then her mental suggestion, it's like in, um, it's like in Late Night at the Devil when the hypnosis guy convinces everybody that like everybody.

So you're like, ooh, that's a car.

Like, if we had more time, we'd make make like a whole cardboard cutout that looks like the back of a car and put it on the back of a horse and then the horse would run and then Freddie can now Freddy can still run fast.

I'm not saying this will work.

I'm just presenting it as a fourth option.

All right.

I'm down with any of these.

I have and by the way, this is great because I have an escape now.

Okay.

I have an escape as a horse.

All right.

So now we're

running.

No, even better, Ben.

Wait till you see this.

Such as I understand it.

If you break your leg, we will shoot you.

Such as I understand it.

The plan is that you guys are going going to like round a corner and then all of a sudden everybody gets out freddy turns into a horse i don't know why everybody else needs to get out

you need to decorate the horse to a kind to whatever oh shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

freddy gets you guys decorate freddy's as a horse no so

grabs two bottles huh

that's it so that's it all you're doing is that he's gonna have two bottles

based on this ad that i've seen seen of this car, we don't even need to get out.

It can hold a horse.

Shoot.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

The biggest.

Yes, full circle.

I can't full circle.

And you just drop out like fucking fast and furious.

So I will slow down to the top speed of a horse.

You can come out.

Oh, no.

Holy shit.

And then my last thing was to be like, Trudy, your body.

It's ridiculous.

Is there anything?

Like, if we put the body on the back of the horse.

Do you have anything?

Because this is powered by

the body.

Anything horsey in your own horse?

Well, we would make a headless horseman.

I don't know.

I may need to see the booty.

Does the body, you know, has metal on it.

So I'm just wondering if there's anything with that.

Like, I don't know.

I was just thinking, like, does your body dress?

So you said TJ.

This plate's already perfect.

Yeah, it's perfect.

Why are we putting it on a hat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We got it.

We got it.

Yeah, so what it is, is she's riding the horse.

And then she's got some way to make her feet glow.

Yeah.

And that way it looks like two taillights.

And we can put put a bunch of three extra sides on your plate of the game.

You can start working.

You hold two bottles.

Durability reflection, like we all know.

Everybody take a bunch of trash and cond and put them on top of the horse.

That when it's running, it's also like leaving a trail.

So it feels more like the car.

Like, whoa, that car is leaking.

That's definitely a jalapi.

That car is leaking trash.

It's like the car has been.

That car is definitely a jalapeno.

It's leaking trash.

Horses don't leak trash, though.

So Della helps.

I do saddlebags.

Della helps sell the illusion.

So,

okay.

All right.

This is the best part of the details.

Your power suggestion has to work.

Otherwise,

I don't like that you're putting this much pressure on me.

No, if you fuck up, I'll go in my mom.

It'll be fine.

Okay.

That's true.

That's true.

That's the second option.

Yeah.

I just always have the nuclear option.

Yes.

Matt, you said you're flooring it, right?

Yes, but now I'm going to slow down to the top speed of a horse.

All right, so here's what we're going to say.

So first thing we need to do is

you're trying to get enough of a distance so that you can round a corner successfully, right?

So we're going to say you gun it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I need to start casting the spell because that takes time.

Yes.

And I just rolled a 10.

We just did the thing where I said I floored it.

It's been so long since we're talking about all these plants, but I rolled a super success on vehicle to floor it.

I need five minutes.

I rolled one D6 plus four.

I rolled a one.

So that's five minutes to cast the spell.

All right.

So you guys are going to have to lead her on a chase for five minutes while it's.

Do you like a werewolf?

Like how, like, is it really graphic?

are you just walking into a horse or you just all the way zero to a hundred after five minutes

we're gonna say it's five minutes of the most excruciating sounds and pain that you've ever heard and seen as he turns into a horse everybody else in the back should be doing craft time like do everything you can do everything you can to make something that looks kind of like the back of this car we also have molotov cocktail plan if you want oh i'm just gonna continue uh guiding you guys

bb bb yeah try to take off the back of the car Like the hood, we got five minutes.

I'm saying we should do something.

Like the bumper.

Yeah, you know, the bumper, the hatch, yeah, the actual back door because we're going to open it anyways for the horse to jump out.

So might as well.

It's already open.

Yeah.

So

all right.

So yes, you want BB and we'll say Timmy and Shane to start stripping parts off of the car.

Cub Scout style.

Like Cub Scouts are known to you.

A mechanic badge for this if you can get the back of the hood off of this car.

But don't take anything that like makes the car go.

That's the only rule.

You got it, mom.

Just want to update you, Will.

I have dropped my sanity down to 57 i've lost one pal per the rules of this thing and i'm also chanting and i'm down to four magic points you're praying to nail arthotep yes correct he's like

nail arthotep the course

yes exactly

okay so he's starting to turn into a horse let's do matt's roll first because it would be very funny matt just crashed the car right i already did one role before booking it so how far away are we now you've got one location between the two of them we're gonna gun it two more locations okay but here's what we're gonna do yeah we're gonna roll for hazard on each one of them.

Okay.

Who wants to be our first D100 roll and get blamed if there's a big problem?

I'll do it.

Roll a one D100.

17.

I got a 74, and my drive is 75.

Holy shit.

Oh, this isn't against your drive.

This is hazard stuff.

Oh, no.

Well, I got 74.

Somebody flip a coin.

Tails.

So this is going to be a regular hazard in front of you.

There's an object on the road ahead.

Is it still there?

Press my left eye for yes.

Okay, so we're zip, zap, zooping through town.

The curfew is going on.

What should be in the road?

A lady with a baby stroller.

Oh, no.

What's she doing?

It's just going to scans.

If it is not.

What if it's Marbles?

Using the road.

Actually, no, that's a good point, which is that as Blake starts turning into a horse, Marbles freaks out and leaps out of Blake's pocket.

And we'll say launches up into the front of the car.

So Marbles is freaking out like clinging to the dashboard right now.

Marbles.

It's okay.

And And then it sees Trudy's severed head and goes, I'm sorry, Marbles.

I wish things could have been better between us.

There is another cat in the middle of the road.

Oh, God.

What if it's a nice one?

I think the car is more of a hazard for the cat than the other way around, but okay.

So, yes, there's a cat in the middle of the road.

If I choose

like, yeah, Matt, but like, game-wise, I just want to know, like, if I don't swerve, is there any damage to the car?

Whereas, like, if I do swerve, there's a chance I can, like, kill himself.

Is there any big damage to the car?

Oh, here's what we're saying.

Oh, no, this is good.

This is good.

There's a cat in the middle of the road.

Marbles has left up to the front seat of the road.

Marbles has seen the cat, and now Marbles turns and looks at you with its two mysterious eyes.

I convince you the most powerful cat in this text

right now, Marbles.

There can be only one.

Marbles is watching you and isn't the one.

I'll swear all the way to the cat.

I'm gonna swear all the way.

Give me a drive roll with disadvantage.

81 with disadvantage.

I don't know why I said this.

Yeah.

I don't know why.

It's okay.

I'll use.

Remember how if we die, Will lets us use all of our luck?

As long as I have two luck, I still have all my luck to give at some point.

So I will use six luck, so now I only have six luck left.

Okay.

Wow, you're going to spend six luck on this.

Okay.

Why do I kill a cat?

Beth will never get it.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to.

All right.

So you're going to swerve out of the way.

You can barely miss it.

You can also push the roll if you want.

It's just cans.

Oh.

How does that work?

You use cans in the shape of a cat.

Wait, how did I push?

A push would be you roll again.

It'd still be with disadvantage.

But something worse happens if you fuck it.

You see, you have something worse.

Something worse that happens if you fuck up.

You know, this would be like you tried to swerve, no one works, so you slam on the brakes to try to Tokyo drift around it or something like that.

All right.

I'm going to push it.

Oh.

So you're maintaining your luck.

Yeah, I got it.

I'm doing like, I got a 13 and a 33 this time.

Sick.

Okay, describe to me how you fucking dodge this thing in a cool but risky way.

You jump through it.

I look at it and I go, ooh, should I I turn left or should I turn right?

Either way, it's right in the center of the car.

Either way will get me around it.

I turn right a little bit and I just barely miss it.

Matt used up a lot of his creativity on the whole force.

Yeah.

I got his own.

We're on a location two.

Someone else give me another 1D 100.

That is an 82.

So that is going to be another regular, we'll call it a barrier that's going to be.

That's got to have kittens and they're all in the road.

And they're holding their high school diplomas.

They just graduated.

And they got scholarships.

Okay, well,

yes, you realize that the cat was leading a whole family of kittens, like a mother duck with her ducklings, across the road.

And now, all the kittens, there's a road full of kittens in front of you.

You gotta jump the kittens.

Yeah, you gotta hit the jump button.

Yeah, is there like a is there like a ramp anywhere?

We will say,

please kill us all this way.

Please let this be how we all suddenly die.

And the season is over because you hit a ramp bad.

There's not a ramp.

I don't know what a ramp would be in the middle.

I'll just do my drive ability.

I've got an idea.

Yeah.

Okay.

Trudy can still like throw her voice, I think.

So I'm just going to go, like, I'm going to throw my voice and say ps,

so they hurry up.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

You're a robot.

You can make the sound of a can opener.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, but careful.

A can opener might make them run towards the car.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, they will break formation and be in a single line.

I'm going to close my eyes and drive forward.

And then whatever happens, it's just Trudy.

We're choosing not to do the drive ability.

We're going to do your throw voice ability.

Okay.

I don't like how you word things sometimes.

The use of we was so brutal.

We decided we're not doing a drive thing.

You're doing your voice thing.

This is though.

This is fair though.

There's a lot of you in the car, and I think other people would also have a chance to do something.

Yeah, no, I like what Will's doing.

I like whatever happens if the people are not responsible for the thing.

No, we each get a chance to avoid something.

It's fun.

This is fun.

I like what Will's doing.

I know my thing, and now it's up to

everyone who's successfully avoided my thing.

I actually should have it more.

This is fun.

We all get a chance.

I will say that this falls under the general appearance skill because appearance is kind of like the closest thing you get to a charisma in this game, I think.

So, give me an app roll.

What'd you get?

An 81.

Okay, so

you make a pitch-perfect sound of a can opener opening, but over the din of the car, it's drowned out.

Does anyone else want to do something?

I will.

Looks like this all comes down because he's driving.

Hold on, hold on, Francis.

Blake's morphing into his thing.

Francis, you got it.

I take out out an old piece of beef jerky I've been saving for a special occasion from my back pocket, and I'm going to toss it out the window, and hopefully that'll distract you.

Now you should just eat it and enjoy the show as I drive.

Because I drive like a fucking beast right now.

All right, Francis, give me a throw roll.

18.

My throw is a 20.

Wow.

All right.

Describe how this works to me.

I give the jerky a little kiss and I throw it like a batarang.

And

suddenly you see four cats, their ears perk up and they look up and they all look at the thing and track it with their eyes, and they all leap to the ditch on the side of the road to go and grab it, which gets them out of the path of the car.

Sick.

And then they go back to their mom cat.

And

they were happy with that.

And it's great.

And we never see them again.

And that was the full family.

Yeah.

You've moved to a head.

It is Kamon Muan's turn.

So she is going to.

She runs over the cats.

So Kimon Muan is thundering down the road the same way you can floor.

She can go like a dead sprint and have the same advantages.

How fast does she go compared to this jalapi she can pace with you guys on in the jalapi especially because of the jalapeni is it property remember though i have what she's compared to a horse

she's probably faster than a horse remember i got one more power of this car i haven't used my last cinematic metal brand

so she's now one behind you so we didn't gain anything if we keep succeeding we'll stay with her you said she paces us we're ahead of her yes okay if you're faster than her there's no chase unless we like have to slow down yeah yeah but like generally in the rules in call cthulhu like it's like if they're then it's just assumed that you can okay.

But yeah, no, so she can pace with you guys.

So it's going to come down to who can navigate all this stuff.

So she is thundering down the road and she sees this mama cat.

She doesn't give a fuck.

She's going to blast straight through this thing.

So we're going to give the cat a roll to see if the cat can dodge out of the way of Kamon Juan.

I think there's actually fine.

It's not a real cat.

It's not a real cat.

It's a different cat than the previous one.

It's a different cat.

They established that they went and lived halfway.

And the camera actually really upset a lot of people.

Yeah, this is a mean cat.

This is a mean cat.

This is a bad cat.

I I believe when we did Marbles as character sheet, Marbles had an 80 dexterity because cats are alive and peaceful creatures.

So, Beth, why don't you give me a dice roll?

Give me this cat's dexterity roll.

That's an 80.

Yeah.

Okay, 39.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, in that case, the cat goes meow and jumps out of the way just in the nick of time as Kimon Wan thunders past it without a fucking care in the world.

And now she's barreling down on the keys.

The kitten.

Oh, the keys went into a ditch.

She's swerving out of the way to go towards you.

No, no, no, no.

She's trying to gain advantage on you guys.

So she's trying to cut kitty corner, as it will, to keep up with you.

And she's the kitty corner.

The kitties are right in her path.

But Kamon Juan, she may be many things now, a flesh monster, a force of vengeance and terror, but she is still at her core, a mother.

And she has empathy for cute little kitty cats because those are just children cats.

They remind him

of them as big dough eyes that remind her of Francis.

So she is going to try to swerve out of the way of the cats.

Freddie, can you roll 2d10s for me?

Right away, sir.

And we were trying to beat a 50 here.

10.

Okay, well, there you go.

She goes up on all of her little fleshy appendages, like onto her little sort of fleshy tiptoes and goes like,

it sounds like the high part of the piano.

And it sounds like the first song in cats.

Are you blind when you're born?

But we will say that in order to do this, she has to slow down in order to not hit any of the cats.

You guys are too ahead of her.

Empathy makes her weak.

So she is in pursuit, but you guys have like cleared past.

You are one-third of the way to the mountains where you're trying to eventually get to, but you're still in Peachyville proper.

We'll say that Freddy at the end of the next turn will have turned into a horse.

So, if anyone is going to do anything right now to help convince Kamon Juan that Freddy is indeed a horse, now would be the time.

If we're going to the cave, there's other truthy bodies there, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Trudy bomb.

All three plans.

We can do the truthy bomb,

everybody can.

And then we can do the horse thing.

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

If you're Matt's audio changed for a second there, it's because he looked directly at me when he said we could spin.

All right.

So, what is everybody doing?

Just I think we should throw a 2D bomb out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mom, that's pretty.

Like, do you have anything you want to, I don't know, like say to your body before we throw it out the window?

Thank you for getting me where I needed to be.

Hate to watch you go.

Love to watch you leave.

Okay.

What?

And then as you say that, Trudy, your body like twitches to life for a second and like touches your face, does like a little goodbye and then gives the Terminator thumbs up.

Wow.

Oh, and I guess when it does that, the sleeve falls back and you see that mysterious spell, this sigil that you carved into it.

You see it on the hand.

So do it that what you will.

Trudy's like, oh, but keep my arm.

Bob my body, but keep my arm, as they say.

The body does like the little A-O-K gesture with his other hand and then detaches its arm from itself and gives you and like sort of like sets the arm on the ground next to you.

Okay, so you've preserved the mysterious sigil that you've earned with your strange spell that you have yet to reveal to us.

Timmy is going to throw the body out and press the self-destruct button.

Francis, what are you doing?

If someone can hand me a liquor bottle, I can rip off because one of his legs is gone, but maybe some of the pant leg is still there kind of uselessly.

So I feel like he's going to rip that to make a sort of a rag, essentially, stuff that into the liquor bottle and then take the lighter out from the little lighting thing.

And I'm going to hand it to Shane because I know he's a football player, so he's probably good at throwing.

I feel like you want to see quarterback.

Okay, great.

And I'm going to say, you know, like this and throw it.

You got it.

Friend?

I mean, let's talk.

We can talk after.

Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, okay, for sure.

Shane is going to throw this Molotov cocktail at the start of the next turn.

We'll say that this whole prep action is your turn this time.

And he lights it to prepare to throw.

Blake, just paint me a picture of what Blake turning into a horse sounds like.

We're coming.

That's it.

Okay.

Or is this Blake kind of muttering into horse sounds?

BB has climbed onto the side of the car and she's got like a screwdriver in her mouth.

Looks like a pirate on the side of a pirate ship.

This can get Fury Road very quickly.

And she's just like kind of read, read, read, read, read.

Like undoing the bumper, we'll say.

And so she's on one side, and we've used up all of our NPC children, right?

Oh, what's Milton doing?

Milton is, oh, she's like got a rope tied around herself, and Milton's holding onto the rope.

Nice.

And so she is going to make a dexterity roll to try to pry loose this bumper so that it can be like kind of hung around the horse's butt as a further distraction.

We're going to remove a bumper from the car in view of Kimonmon.

No, no, no, no, no.

She can't see us right now?

Matt will say that you found a turn.

My plan is, I was going to say for my last action is like, I'm driving, I would think I would want to drive through like one of those self-serve car washes.

So I'm driving to that.

Yeah.

Like my idea is like, I'll say, go.

And then right when you guys drop Kimone's body bomb, I'm going to turn into the car wash and drive through it.

So it's like just like any sort of small tunnel.

And then we'll swerve right as Freddy

on 60 seconds ass move.

So you guys are going to go through the car wash.

Yeah, one of those self-servers, not the ones that you have to like, not the ones that you like slowly move along.

Like, it's just a galaxy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, I know.

It's just like a small tunnel, essentially.

Yeah, so you're going through a car wash.

Yeah.

And so, yes, we'll say that you've just now reached the top of the car wash.

I'm looking at Wikipedia right now.

Most of the car washes were either manually pushed through, so you probably absolutely just drive through it fast.

Oh, cool.

Let's do that.

BB's dexterity is 80.

I'm going to roll a dice to see if she's able to successfully probably lose the bumper.

Okay, so BB got a 38.

So yes, she's able to wrench loose the bolts on the bumper and sort of like carefully pull it off and she's like i've got it matt will say that it's a hard right turn to sort of spin around and go into the it's a hard left turn of a tim allen situation it's a hard you know you never see the hard left pivot you really don't yeah because there's no money there russell brand showed us that

i guess that's true You'd make a hard centrist turn into this car wash.

Give me a drive roll to successfully drop to the speed of of a horse, maintain the speed of a horse, aim your car into the fucking car wash, which we will say is empty.

I'll throw you a bone.

58 out of 75.

Okay, great.

So smooth as butter.

You effortlessly glide the car, take your foot off the gas, and you're sailing now into the car wash itself.

When you drop the body, Timmy pushes the body out front.

So it rolls out onto the street.

Freddy finishes turning into a horse mid-car wash.

The top of the car is scraping the roof of the car wash.

Milton uses that rope that was tied to BB.

They fashion the rope around the bumper itself and hang it off the horse's ass.

It's like lassoed to the horse and the bumper.

They kind of looped it around the horse's tail.

What else are we doing?

Oh, now we're going to split.

Okay, so now.

Run, Blake.

Jimon Wands, like, where'd they go?

And then she sees Trudy's robot body roll to the ground.

And so she's like, aha, they must have gone towards the car wash.

So she rounds the corner just in time to be like, she's about to see what's going to happen.

And then this bomb goes off in their face.

This is, we will say, the stick of dynamite.

Yeah, absolutely.

All right.

So a stick of dynamite.

It's not very much damage, in which case it's several sticks of dynamite.

It's a unit of dynamite.

One unit of dynamic.

What's it when a battery explodes?

Thermal runway.

Thermal runway.

Because this blew up a house, right?

Like, this is like it blew up there.

And so I'm like, how much dynamite does it take to blow up a house?

Let's look that up.

And then you're going to be on a list.

And that's fine.

A house.

A single-story house.

Okay, sounds like he's going to call it a stick of dynamite.

Way more, though, than one, though.

I mean, it's not like her whole body is just dynamite, she's done a bunch of other stuff,

baby Trudy is dynamite in terms of what the explosive on the inside inside those one stick words.

It does translate to one stick of dynamite.

Yes, okay, that's fine.

Um, okay, so one stick of dynamite uh in L.A.

Yes, maybe on Peachyville, she's three or four.

So she's three sticks of dynamite.

She's on Peachyville, three.

She's one sick dynamite.

Yes.

So that's 4d10 damage.

Kimon Juan is thundering over this thing, and right as she leaps over it, it explodes.

And there's just this massive boom.

And she's thrown into the air and knocked onto her back.

You hear a sort of enraged scream as the smoke clears.

You see her on her side.

There's like a big chunk of flesh blown out of her.

Like little tendrils are sort of writhing and like some sort of viscous ooze is spurting out of her.

But she's not dead, but she got hit for 26 damage.

So she's like,

but you see her start to climber and dig herself back up all right that sounds like a big hit probably feeling a little dizzy

it'd be a real shame if you had to spin after that

you know what man here's what we'll say she took a glancing blow and she spun in the air so we're also gonna give her a constitution saving throw to see if she is in fact dizzy um there's no way we're gonna lose this one because if she if she did get dizzy, then Beth could be like, hey, it was pretty fun that first time you spun.

He didn't even get dizzy, baby.

She's been doing it.

Uh, she did not get dizzy.

Um, surely nothing could happen by spinning around a few times.

I bet you can't do that a couple more times.

Um, all right, so she did not get dizzy, but she did get fucked up pretty bad.

Yeah, it took out about like over half her health.

Oh, nice, let's kill her.

Let's go find another Trudy body.

Wait, there's a bunch of them in the cave.

okay so she's dazed she's on the ground it is now time to execute your plan yes so give me everything that everyone's doing i slowed down to horse speed yeah one horsepower give me an education roll for what to see if kelsey knows yeah that's fine i'll fucking do education rolls all day and that is one of the many things she knows incredibly well 38 super success oh okay she knows it's between 25 to 30 miles per hour okay at a full gallop at a full gallop so i've dropped down to like 20 miles per hour as i go through the school zone

as I go through the car wash.

Okay, great.

You've found under 20 miles an hour, and then you're making a hard right turn once again as you get out of the thing.

Is somebody going to do like a little like horse girl moment with Blake before he gets out, like, like, touch the

ball?

Who wants to?

I wish I had my body so I could touch the mane.

Timmy, help your mom out.

Timmy strokes.

No, pick up your mom's head and let her.

Oh,

now I'm saying.

This is why there's no horse boys.

Boys aren't allowed to express horses.

Timmy, I'm not binary.

I hate these fucking children.

Your mom sucks.

This sucks.

I just want to express my love for a horse.

That's okay, Timmy.

You don't have to do it.

Picture making it our problem, Timmy.

Timmy begrudgingly grabs Trudy and sticks her head up to the horse.

What do you want to say to the horse, mom?

You're beautiful.

Please run well and strong, and we'll be here when you are no longer a horse.

All it took for Trudy to like Blake is for him to treat want her.

Women want one thing, and they explain

Blake.

You're going to dismount the car, I guess.

Yes.

Give me a horse's dexterity roll.

I don't know.

How big is a horse's majestic?

Oh, it's just mine, isn't it?

I wish I had

those like clippy-cloppy things that

48 out of 75.

I was going to get cups from downstairs and do it.

Oh, great.

We go to slow-mo and it looks like some of that Edward Boybridge shit.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

All of his legs did leave the ground.

Everybody just ate shit on the way out.

Immediately broke a leg.

Just go to the car wash to the dead horse.

What were they trying to do?

All right.

They were washing these corpses.

You gracefully land.

The bumper, and I guess the bottles you tape to the bumper sway and glint in the moonlight as you emerge from the car wash.

We're still in friends.

So when I peel out, I like do a 180 turn and go and like turn around into like, you know, little area where they drive the cars.

Like I'm just turning away.

So you're trying to hide.

Yes.

Yes.

You're trying to like get

more likely if she sees two things, then there's a moment where she can investigate, which one looks more like a car, the one that has two feet behind it galloping.

Yeah, this is what she was doing.

I was still doing that car wash, fucked up the car.

Yeah.

But we're doing the Trudy spell, too, right?

The mental suggestion.

Yeah, yeah.

The caster can command any being with human blood in its vein.

The caster intones the spell and relates the suggestion to the target.

For the spell to succeed, the caster must succeed in an opposed power roll with the targets.

So Beth, give me a pow roll.

I fail.

Kill me.

How bad was your failure?

What did you get?

I have a 55 pow and I rolled an 85.

You rolled an 85?

Yeah.

Well, this is your lucky day, Beth,

because she rolled a 96.

So she fumbles.

That's so fucking close.

What was the thing that you said that was wrong?

And we will figure out how she misinterpreted it to believe that the horse is a car.

You know, just an average deception rule.

Quite the prompt.

That horse is a car.

Oh, shit.

I shouldn't have said it was a horse.

And so she hears that.

That's really funny.

She hears that and goes, that horse is a car.

Horsepower.

Horsepower.

Horsepower.

It horse says

horsepower car.

Kimone is for now successfully convinced that Blake the horse is really Blake the car.

So we peel off around and we watch Kimone come out of of the car watch a little cleaner and she sees the horse.

She sees the horse.

She smells minty fresh.

She goes dry.

She has a little like air freshener around her neck.

We watch Blake run off down the street and Kimone follows him.

What's the plan for meeting everything again?

Did we come up with one?

He said he had one.

And we respect, he's a grown man.

We respect his wishes.

We've succeeded.

Like we get essentially drive out of comedy.

You're out of comedy.

Yeah, we can drive to the cave.

I, as a player and a friend, want to know what my friend's Freddy's idea was, but he said he had a way out of it.

You're right.

The only real suspense now is whether or not Blake is

getting out of this.

If you die in this form, I'm not going to your funeral.

You know, they say if you die as a horse, you die in real life.

They say you die twice.

First time when you die, the second time when the horse stops riding it.

Okay.

Kelsey is going to take a moment just to get out of the car.

She salutes towards the direction of Blake.

We all salute.

Yeah.

Good luck, Blake.

They're such majestic creatures.

Yeah.

Blakes and

plumbers.

All he has to do is make her run for like an hour.

Yeah.

And then I can take her over and make her spin.

That's great.

Yeah.

And I think

kids take a look.

Time for the coup d'état to this plan.

And I start preparing this battle.

Nice.

Kids, take a good look.

That's a soldier.

That's an American soldier sacrificing his life for all of us.

That horse car man

now, that horse car man is more man than anybody.

It's his battle to fight on his own.

Now is our time to do our job.

So get in the car.

Let's go, everybody.

You're right.

Anybody else want to drive?

Bibie says, You're right.

Let's go.

God bless you, Blake Lively.

And she salutes.

And then all the kids salute, and BB wipes a tear from her eye as your car drives off into the night towards the cave where all of the truthy body parts are.

Mother, mother, fear me.

I am the broken sky.

All I ever wanted was to feel so ordinary

in a world that lies twisted in my mind, and now I'm gone.

All that I can see is a hole in the stars,

swallowing my dreams and making them scars.

Too far, too far away.

But I stay

today.

Thanks so much for listening.

Some truly choice highlights on the Patreon content this week.

Behold, if you were like one of those like scare actors in an interactive haunted house, one where you can touch them, but they can't touch you.

How good do you think you do?

I'd be so good at that.

You think you'd be touching that?

Like the crazy guy?

Hold on.

All right, Matt.

By the way, I feel like I'm 90% of the time I walk down the street.

I'm worried I'm just scaring people anyways.

I have an idea for being a person in a haunted house that I I think would really scare people, but I don't think many people have done it.

Okay.

I act scared of them.

Like,

really, really terrified of them.

It's actually pretty good.

Yeah, like, don't touch me.

Stay away from me.

Like, yeah.

Patreon is a way to directly support this show, but more importantly, you get what I believe is one of the best deals in the audio entertainment business today.

What is the worth of laughter?

If this show brings you birth, I promise you there are greater heights that lie within.

Yes, you have to pay money for it, but we've committed since the beginning to make sure that the $5

deal was worth it.

From the beginning, I stipulated that any bonus content by default should be available to the $5 level.

Of course, higher tiers have more stuff.

But at the $5 level, we include every one of our standalone three-partner miniseries.

The highest regarded one at the Mountains of Dadness, from whence so much of the Cthulhu underpinning of this season is so derived, all the way to the one most clipped by fan artists and animators, the immortal Sons and Sons Ability, a regency romance that Anthony DM'd with regency expert and voice actor extraordinaire Amanda Schuckman to deliver the highest highs our humble troop of entertainers has yet achieved.

Those of you who know, know.

You also get extra podcasts.

Matt and Beth wrestle with their own strange relationships to Christianity by reviewing Christian slop.

We call that one the Chrysterion Collection.

And all the after shows of the past two seasons and this one ongoing.

By my rough calculation by looking at Spotify just now, about 200 hours of additional content available to you immediately at the $5 level.

And as for this last episode, ooh, don't you want to know?

Don't you want to know how the horse thing happened?

This week on the Peach Pit, I share my triumphant reclamation of agency for my player character.

I metamorphose, but upon my own terms.

And in doing so, I prove to my improvisational comedy peers that I still got the fucking sauce.

That's on the Peach Pit, only on Patreon.

If you're on the fence, you can request a refund in 14 days.

Promise me that you don't abuse this.

I have to do those.

I have to do them one at a time, manually, and I value my time right now on the eve of Matt and me attempting our most ambitious feature film project yet.

I'm only telling you this because I'm so confident you will get something worth every penny of your hard-earned cash if you sign up today.

Patreon.com slash dungeonsandads.

Dungeons and Daddies is Matt Arnold as Kelsey Grammar, Anthony Birch as Frances Farnsworth, Will Campos as RDM, Beth May as Trudy Trudy Trout, myself, Freddie Wong as Blake Lively.

Our theme song is A Hole in the Stars by Max and Waller, and Isa Omran is our content producer, Ashley Nicola is our community manager, Courtney Terry is our community coordinator, Cindy Denton is our merchandise manager, Esther Ellis is our lead editor, Travis Reeves, Omar Romolino, and Brian Fernandez provide the additional editing.

Our show directly supported by the aforementioned Patreon.

So shout out to Ludo Niero, Kevin Sito, Ruben Evans, Sava Daniel, Uncle Flappy, Kay Sharp, Ian McClain, Nina H.

Jensen, Magnus, Andreas Olson, comedian Reginald Barris, Joey Kamosa, Adithi A., Michael Lothar, Scooby-Dooby-Doom, Dan Jensen, Thomas Berkadall, Kevin Conningham, Ashley Hunt, and Vikela Danaman.

Mouthfuls this week.

Support us directly on Patreon at patreon.com/slash dungeonsandads.

Merchant more at dungeonsandads.com.

Next episode, October 21st.

We'll see you then.

far, too far away.

But I'll stay

today.

All that I can see is a hole in the stars.

Swallowing my dreams and making making them scars.

Too far, too far away.

But I'll stay

today.

Is there anything less rock and roll than singing?

I love rock and roll.

But another

thing is that.

My favorite thing in music is music propaganda, where the song is about the genre of the song.

They're like, country muse is good.

Yeah, you never heard.

You never heard like, bada booba, ba, jazz is the coolest.

That's just jazz.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, jazz is like the Yoda of music.

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