Giggling about malls, fingering, and accessories

Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these. They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.
Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool.
They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to or what like murder podcasts I'm trying to get to the bottom of, solve a mystery.
Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears and the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge so there's like not a lot of admin you can wear them anywhere they're perfect from working from home hanging out with your family or if a plane, just vibing. And guess what? They're available right now on Amazon and there's even a limited time discount happening.
Check out Noom One at our Amazon store today and grab yours with the 20% discount campaign. Trying is believing.
You guys know I love organizing. I love a new season and updating my wardrobe and there's nothing I love more than doing it with looks under a hundred dollars.
And if you're like me, then you love a steal and you love a trend. Nordstrom has everything for spring fashion under a hundred dollars.
Cute matching sets, mini dresses, a lot of 70s inspired denim, which I'm very into for the spring. They have brands like Mango, Skims, Levi's, Free People, free people reformation everything you could ever want plus one of my favorite spring trends is big bags like slouchy big bags and i just think they're so cool nordstrom also makes it just so easy for you they have fast delivery and risk-free shopping with the option to return my favorite is that they have two day and next day shipping and then also free standard shipping but there's nothing i love more than instant gratification and when i can do next day shipping like i'm doing it you can buy online or you can pick up today or pick up tomorrow for a wider selection you can choose curbside at nordstrom stores or in store at nordstrom and nordstrom rack explore more at Nordstrom in stores or online at Nordstrom.com or download the Nordstrom app.
Sup, gigglers. Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me. What up, my ganache-y gigglers? What's a ganache-y? It's a kind of dessert.
Ganache? You never said, can I have a ganache? And it's a topping. It's not an actual, like, ganache is, like, a topping.
They're like, this is a Wendy's. Please leave.

Sorry, do you have a ganache?

Actually, one time I went on vacation with my mom and it was like you could order pancakes with like fruit compote.

And I pronounced it like compote or something.

I think if you say anything confidently, like and if people know what you meant, that's what language is.

And that's how the men have come so far. They say crazy shit.
They just say it sternly. With a period.
Yeah. If you say anything with a period, it means like it's fact.
That's why they don't want me in a microphone. That's why they don't want us in microphones because suddenly we're loud.
We're taking up space. um i was in your hometown yeah all weekend in albany you just really saw the sights i was at the true by hilton yeah across the street from maggie mcfly's and the mall not a great area but i wouldn't say it's like scenic route by any means would say that I do.
I wouldn't say you were hit in the face with culture. But.
But the highlight was, well, Paige is like, I'm going to come to your show on Thursday. And, or Friday.
Thursday. Thursday.
And I was like, okay. And you're, it's in a mall.
Because guys, I'm working out material. It's in a mall.
I'll do it anywhere.

It's in a mall.

Which used to be the greatest mall ever.

Honestly, like rest in peace to malls. And now it's sad.

It's such a sad mall.

You like, was that like where you first got fingered in a mall?

Is that the first place I got fingered?

No.

No, it wasn't.

It wasn't.

But I have been fingered in that movie theater for sure. Are you kidding? Wait, how are guys even supposed to finger you in those theaters? Like, that's insane.
I feel like I had the worst experiences with guys in theaters. Did I unzip my jeans like a freak? I think we thought they were fingering us, but they weren't.
But But we were like I just got fingered. I remember the first time I got fingered.
I was in a basement. Yeah I was on a couch.
And can I tell you something? I like didn't know to shave until like three days later when one of my girlfriends was like well you have to shave and I was like wait what? And imagine and think about it actually an odd amount of times sorry throughout my adult life where I'm like what if I never shaved you're just representing the 80s like that shit was cool yeah do you know like men who grew up in the 80s a lot of them like bushes because that's the porn they saw right and they think it's weirdven. Do you want to hear something that makes my first time fingering story

even ten times grosser than like

a ninth grader getting fingered?

Yeah. His name was Gary.

I know.

If you guys don't know,

my dad's name is Gary.

And your brother's name is

Gary. Wait, you know what I didn't realize?

Both our brother and dad

have the same name. Yeah.
But mine is Dan and Daniel. We have so much material for this week.
You guys, I just dropped a bomb on the Giggly Squad pod. I know you're going to look at us differently now.
Wait, but I love how your parents call him Big Gare or Little Gare. Big Gare and Little Gare.
That's cute. Yeah.
That's cute. Because Gary, my brother's not an actual, like, they don't have the same middle name.
I love how your dad was like, he doesn't get the full name. He doesn't get a numerical thing next to his name.
But my parents came to Hannah's show. Oh, yeah.
Paige, you just, you don't communicate. No, I don't.
You're a literal man. You text me.
I'll see you at the show tonight. I have no idea how you're getting there.
I'm like, you're in New York City. What are you talking about? I show up at the mall.
She's standing right outside in the mall. Hello.
With her full family. Hey.
Like 100 Italians. Yeah.
We're here. She doesn't realize that stand-up comedy in the clubs, it's not as glamorous as theater life.
And that's all Paige knows. All I know is theater i know is theater all she knows is sold out theaters so i get her to the back and it's literally a the tiniest green room with one frat um leather couch yeah we're a casting couch a true casting and kim like sits down kind of like okay and she.
She did. She brought, okay, Hannah was with Allie Colbert and my mom.
Who's not Italian, so this was hilarious. No, but I feel like she has the like.
She's a New Yorker. Yeah.
My mom made fritzels, which are like these hard like roll. They almost look like bagels, but they're not bagels.
Yeah, they're like massive bagels with every Italian thing you could put on it. You have olives.
You have pepperoni. You have all kinds of pepperoni.
You have the meats. You have the banana peppers.
I don't know. Yeah, all the stuff.
It's basically like a. It's basically a sandwich on a.
It's a Subway sandwich for the mafia. Yeah.
That's what it is. That's what it is.
And so she's got the food. Your dad is pushing the food on us.
hard he's like al you're not gonna have a salami he thinks everyone's hungry like imagine stuffing your face before you go out on stage it's like the craziest concept if i deep throated a salami before getting on stage like it would be i'd be on tmz for just like imploding one time i was at a cheerleading competition and i got in trouble because my mom gave me nachos before I was about to compete. And she's probably going to be hungry.
She's hungry. She's hungry.
They're like, she's going to throw up on the mat. All she had today was breakfast and lunch and a snack.
She's starving. That's literally what I do.
No, but okay. The funniest part about it was like Allie, if you don't know Allie, you have to go follow her on Instagram and like watch her videos she's very straightforward says whatever she's like thinking but hilarious and she was saying the most crude crazy things to my parents which by the way I feel like when I'm in front of your parents I try to behave a little I try to drop less f-bombs I don't want them going home and being like that hand is not good for our daughter I want to behave a little.
I try to drop less F-bombs. You do.
I don't want them going home and being like, that hand is not good for our daughter.

Like, I want to be represented.

Allie's-

Saying whatever.

People are catching strays.

She's being hilarious, like doing full stand-up.

She leaves the room for a minute, 30 seconds.

My dad turns and goes, she's cute as a button.

She's adorable.

And I looked, I actually got jealous.

I was like, I could have been doing my best bits too, but I thought we were being appropriate

in front of the family.

and you're not going to be a button he goes she's adorable and i looked i actually got jealous i was like i could have been doing my best bitch too but i thought we were being appropriate in front of the family and she goes rogue and he's like she's cute as a button i'm like then she does like a lesbian yoga on stage and shouts out my dad so then i was like what is going on like like he's they're like best friends now buddies yeah they're so anyway i i was a little jealous right but i was like it's okay like it's fine that's how i'd feel if your dad like laughed at someone else's joke yeah like imagine i bring a new friend and my dad's obsessed with her and you're sitting there and you're like i thought i was blood related to you no so and also i was like you wouldn't even met her if it wasn't for me i brought brought her here. She's my friend.
Gary. Yeah, Gary.
And Kim, innocent throughout the whole thing. And Kim's just enjoying life, making sure I'm okay.
You guys, shout out, Albany sold out five shows. Let's go.
No, Albany was a crowd. But you guys couldn't sit.
So you guys stood in the back and watched my whole show and it was really cute. And I laughed so hard.
And you up at the end and that was really fun that was really fun speaking of not fun the next day Paige is like where I'm gonna pick you up and I'm gonna take you to my my parents house which actually felt so high school it felt so high school like my mom said you can come over if you want to come over I was like oh my god perfect so we we get there it felt like you came home off the bus you know like my mom said you can come home off the bus I kind of felt like like you made friends with public school kids and you were like can I show you what it's like like we got out of the car and you were like take your shoes off just take your shoes off like these are cloth napkins. Have you guys ever seen them before? So we walk in and Kim just spoils us.
Made a full chicken parm lunch. I mean, there were six courses.
And it was just laid out. She's like, oh, this is just still lunch.
And Allie is just flabbergasted. She's never had this kind of treatment.
So we were gossiping. We're eating all the food.
And then I was like, can we see Lord Daphne? Yeah. And you were like, yes, she's upstairs.
Let's see what she's doing. And I'm like, Allie's like, I'm not really a cat person.
I'm like, Allie, you're going to fucking love this cat. Oh, yeah, Allie's not really a cat person.
I was like, you're going to love this cat. Also, I'm going to convert you to a cat person.
I'm like, you're going to love this cat. Daphne, similar to Gary, obsessed with Allie.
Obsessed. Like Allie.
Like walking her back against Allie's back. Like just like looking at her.
Wanted little to nothing to do with you. I would say she actually disliked me.
And I was like, Daphne, you wouldn't even fucking be here if it wasn't. But then like part of me loved it.
I was was like I love that she doesn't like me because then I like want to earn her affection well Daphne is extremely vain and superficial she didn't like my outfit you know so she was like that's how you come to my home yeah she's because normally I would say I give good energy but I now realize I think she was disgusted by my jeans that I haven't washed for two weeks and she could smell it see dogs love it dogs they're up my canal they go this girl this girl's peanut butter pussy oh have you showered she's like i shit in a box and i'm cleaner so anyway mommy brush me she's like do you want my mommy to brush your hair it was it just so funny when pets like clearly prefer someone and so that was insulting and again I was like Ali like you're not even you shouldn't even be here like I invited you yeah and you're taking all the attention and gravitas you just wanted to use the word gravitas as I was saying it I was like I don't know if this is gonna work but um no we love ali so much and i'm i'm also one of those people not to brag i want other people to have fun yeah i'll take the hit i'll take the hit i want you do i actually do get obsessed with to the point that it gives me social anxiety like i can't enjoy myself if i think someone is not having fun. Really? Yeah.
Like if I told her, hey, we're going to lunch and then I'm noticing her not having a good time, like I'm stressed. Oh, okay.
I thought you meant just like random people. I'm like, how do you get anything done during the day? Like you're just worrying about if everyone's having a good time.
If I throw a party the whole time I'm stressed. That's like why weddings are stressful.
Because it's like everyone like canceled their plans to come to your wedding. It better be fucking fun.
When's the last time you threw a party? My Netflix party, which honestly. Lit.
Lit. Because I put my heart and soul into that.
I had chicken fingers. I still think about that picture of me where I'm like.
Well, you didn't like your shorts. I gotta get out.
You didn't like your shorts. Yeah, I didn't like my outfit.
And you couldn't handle it. I couldn't take it.
You were just hiding behind my Nana for like 30 minutes. No, I held Nana's hand.
And my Nana was like, you're so pretty, just like me. I love that she's friends with you.
No, Nana is my Nana. Like, I feel like you guys almost are two alike where you're like, this is weird.
It's too powerful. It's giving like Freaky Friday.
Like, you're like, did I sneeze? Am I Nana? Do you think I'm little Gary? Kind of. You kind of are like my older brother.
Yeah. I was trying to explain to's a lesbian our relationship and she was we left the house and she's like she's your partner yeah no we're partners because she was like no we're more than friends like like okay like if we were to be with another friend duo i'd be like cute that's adorable we would leave and be like they think they're fun yeah like that's so sweet of you guys to like be friends but like we're like partners well Allie was like I loved hanging out with you guys because I love being like a third wheel and I'm like what do you mean she's like I love hanging out with couples and I'm like what do you mean and she's like you guys will talk with your eyes all the time like you're an extension of me and then Allie kept telling me like really good gossip.
Yeah. And at one point she stops and she's like, are you going to tell Paige all of this? And I was like, yeah.
And she paused for a second. And I was like, first of all, Paige doesn't know all these niche people we're talking about.
Second of all, Paige doesn't remember anything. Their fault.
Paige has her own shit going on. I got my own problem.
She's fine. But yes, I will tell her.
No, no that's why it's like gossiping if you're gonna gossip with one of us you're gossiping with both of us but it's a safe space yes like we share the same ideas so it's not it's not like oh my god don't tell anyone oh she told one friend it was page it's like no you were telling me when you told Hannah 100% Yeah, and people need to you have a full partner and i was like i know and i was like i am the man one and she was like that typically happens in a lesbian relationship sometimes one of them wears the pants more and so yeah and okay this is the funniest part is ally um in front of's parents, who she just met, jokingly turns to the parents and goes, Paige and I have to tell you something about our relationship. Imagine I just come home and I'm like, guys, I'm a lesbian and this is my girlfriend.
I don't even drop the lesbian part first. I'm just like, and this is my girlfriend.
This Allie is so cute too, but honestly, I feel like you'd be with a blonde that's what I see for you or for us in our thruple yeah I was just gonna say I feel like you wouldn't want a girl who's like looks similar to you at all I would either want a girl who is like really feminine and like that I could share stuff with but I'm like that's a friend yeah or you just want a girl Kim stop listening you just want a girl with like huge boobs so you could like see what it's like and then decide if you want a boob job or not like I'm like you put my top on and see like if it looks good I don't know if I like it can you turn around can you turn around can you can you move your arms in it I I don't know. Hug yourself.
Does it fit? If you hug yourself, does it still feel good? When I was little, that was all my mom would say when we would be in the mall trying clothes on. Hug yourself.
Oh, because that means it's comfortable? I've never heard that before. I've never heard that before.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
So you're just like in the dressing room. I'm just like, I'm like, yeah, I saw a broom.
Wait, the dressing room is so traumatizing, especially at Aritzia where there's no mirrors. Actually, I couldn't tell you the last time I went into a dressing room and I tried something on.
And the Aritzia one I've been to one time and I never went back because I was like that's crazy I'm not walking out it seemed like a people's boyfriends are there no it was like a harassment ritual I think what's the word um uh it was a embarrassment ritual yeah it was a humiliation ritual no it is it literally is Like you walk out and everyone goes, don't worry. Don't buy that.
I just would never. I would never.
Oh, that's interesting. Oh, no.
Like, that's what I'm getting from everyone. It's like this.
I'm not trying on my wedding dress. Also, I don't need to stand on a pedestal in front of like in a circle.
This isn't a town hall meeting. No.
When I try something on, I don't need a group like forum. Like there was definitely a boardroom meeting specifically about the dressing rooms of Aritzia and what man was like, let's put it in the middle.
So what they say is that it helps sell stuff because you have to walk out and then a salesperson has to say, I like it on you. I'd like to see the numbers on it because I wouldn't walk out.

That's what I did.

I thought that there was something defunct in my room and I was like, oh, I got a room

that had no mirror.

The mirror fell off or something.

And then I like walk outside and.

No, I think it's so inappropriate.

The vulnerability that you have to be when you try on something.

Also, I'm not wearing a matching outfit.

I don't have makeup on.

I already feel like a rat.

Just like a hairless mole rat.

No, I don't try things on.

I order it online and then I try it on the comfort of my home and then I return it like a normal person.

I order it online and I forget to return it like a normal person.

No, that's so you.

By the way, whenever we talk about when we're on our period, any other gigglers that are on their period message me and they said there's a conspiracy theory that all the gigglers are synced up. Okay, well, could someone sync up with me? Because obviously, like, the month I'm ready to freeze my eggs, my period is like, actually, we don't want to come.
Did your period come? No, haven't gotten it in two months. But you're not pregnant? No.
I'm stressed out. No, I'm stressed out.
So now I'm like, we're just waiting for it'm like where is the blood going I think my body is so sensitive that it's like oh we know we're supposed to do something and like my body is so me you know it's like oh you want us to come that's hilarious you're like I can you you've one job no literally of one job one job I'm sorry and so I'm just waiting for it periods are so funny because you want to get it so bad. And then when you get it, you hate it so much.
Yeah. And that's called the life of a woman.
Anywho. Forever 21.
What's going on? I know. How sad.
I mean, all their clothes is in landfills. But are they actually bankrupt? Are're just like announcing bankruptcy? I think they're just like closing all the stores like period.
I think they're done yeah. But like keeping it online? I don't think so.
I think done done. Maybe they should charge more than two dollars for jeans.
You want to know what it is? I think with like these stores the people that we're in our 30s now and they didn't grow with us we you could be so right like that's what i think about a lot of like stores that close like it also i feel like gen z's have opinions on like strong opinions on fast fashion yeah i don't know and i don't think they're shopping the way like we were in store yeah and we only had forever 21 yeah like abercrombie hadn't like done their well it was like the first place we could afford and you could just like go off at forever 21 um but then now there's so many fast fashion places like i guess like sheen and all them have just like yeah i mean you put there wasn't like amazon prime when we went to i remember i would hit forever 21 and bb and those are my and gas and that was like my summer wardrobe you know who loves bb hell my nana no she's obsessed with bb no i loved bb so much i literally this is how much i loved it being in like high school i was too young to work there and all i wanted to do was work there i was like mom i could get a discount she was like you're 14 I was like I could get a discount I could work at the cash register and she's like you can't count change did you ever just for fun walk into hot topic yeah like and Spencer's yeah yeah just to be like do I want to have a goth day and then you're like wait I'm scared no my mom would have screamed at me oh my god mall that's the only store that survived in Albany in the mall was like Spencer's.

I'm like, how?

I'm not.

No, that's crazy.

I'm not trying to be like, I'm not like other girls.

Wait, do you see my eye twitching?

I've had an eye twitch for three days.

And you know what that means.

I love that you do because normally you blame it on tour and now you can just blame it on yourself.

I have an eye twitch, which means a man is about to die soon oh no it's that time of year i have to sacrifice a man no truly i've had this i did for like four days because you also think everyone's like staring at it i don't even think that everyone's staring at it i'm just like what is it your bigger eye or your smaller eyes? It's your bigger eye. How dare.
Why did I even ask? I can see it. Oh, what a fucked up question.
I don't know. Check your cornea.
No, it's just like I think stress. I personally feel like spring is the superior season, especially for style.
I feel like summer, I'm hot. I don't want to wear any clothes.
You're sweating. too many clothes it's too much spring is the perfect amount of clothes and that's why we're excited to get into this special segment presented by nordstrom and acas creative it's your go-to destination for spring as you look to add the latest trends to your wardrobe this season but when you know from page what trends from nordstrom are people getting here's the other thing about spring that I just want to say.
It's like a fresh start. So like if you're like, oh, I'm going to revamp my entire personality.
Yeah. You're going to just change your name, change your job, also change all of your clothes.
Some of my favorite spring trends, I'm loving a trench, loving a trench coat, love a crop trench coat, let me go to the floor trench coat. Love a trench coat as a dress with some knee-high, thigh-high boots.
And like a belt. Slouchy belts are in and like big slouchy bags.
I love that big bags are back in because it's like I wasn't fitting anything before. So like a big bag can really like change your whole outfit.
I'm also loving Kendrick Lamar's jeans.

And those are in style.

70s inspired denim.

Full skirts.

And Nordstrom has everything.

They have Mango.

They have Skims.

Levi's.

Free People.

Madewell.

Veronica Beard.

Veronica Beard has such good coats right now too.

Like do yourself a favor.

Get a nice spring jacket. Yeah.
Just get one get one Nothing says spring Like this is my spring jacket Yes, and it adds to the outfit I hate when I put on a jacket That just ruins everything that I created The best thing about spring too Is you know what you're buying for spring You can also repurpose in the summer and the fall Yeah, I also used to live by Nordstrom And what people don't know about it is they have really good like beauty. They have skincare, eye patches, tools, moisturizers, serum.
So they have like fun extra stuff too. And there's thousands of options under $100.
So it's affordable and trendy. Also spring is you're figuring out what your summer plans are.
You're going on like a little weekend away. Nordstrom really is great for packing.
I've become such a good packer since tour. Yeah, you have.
Like I'm in there with my packing cubes. See, I'm panic packing.
Nordstrom makes it easy to get what you need within your daily routine through fast delivery, risk-free shopping, the option to return. So I love Nordstrom for last minute things that I need on a trip.
You can get vacation ready with Nordstrom with a ton of styles and travel essentials, all for under $100. They have free store pickups.
You buy online, pick up today or pick up tomorrow for a wider selection. Choose curbside.
We love that. At Nordstrom stores or in-store at Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rec, both options are quick and convenient.
And one of my favorite things about Nordstrom is you can get free standard shipping all the time, plus a two-day and next-day option. I'm in there with the next-day option.
Plus, it's risk-free shopping with free returns in-store or by mail. I get so much stuff online that takes forever to get there.
I forget why I bought it and then it doesn't fit me and then I'm too lazy to return it because you have to pay money for it. Nordstrom makes it so easy in and out.
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Back to me. wait i went to the gyno for the first time in like a long time yeah to the point you guys i never lie i never lie they go when was the last time you went to the gynecologist and i just said three years ago yeah lied even longer i don't even? I don't even think, I don't think I've been.

Like, I don't have good insurance.

And I, like, use that dog.

You just, like, haven't been going.

You never get a UTI?

No, like, I have a very healthy pH balance in my pussy.

I'm so proud of you.

Also, I feel like when your pussy's this little, you don't have to get it checked up.

Because it's, like, not even there.

It's like nothing can even go in there. It's literally even there you can't even find it so see i'm like a hypochondriac like i'm they're like you you don't need to get a pap smear again i'm like just check it again no my mom literally had like an intervention she was like now you're back from tour you have to go to schedule a pap smear yeah and then i also have this huge like pat fat globule lipoma all the gigglers were messaging me about lipomas i'm like what were they saying is this your 30s wait what were they saying about your lipoma one girl was like make sure you use a good surgeon one other girl was like it's definitely gonna take a consultation first they don't just just start cutting you open.
I was like, but I'm literally busy. I don't have time for a consult.
But I got a pap. It was quick.
Was it? I remember it being a little more like. Well, because you were younger and you were more nervous.
Now you're like, this isn't going to take me out. Is it even in.
It's going to take a lot more to shoot me down today. Yeah.
A cold speculum. I welcome it now.
Being a girl is crazy, though. Like, they literally just shove something in you.
And I was like, I wasn't in the mood for it. Is that, like, it's 2025 and they're still, like, they still crank it.
You know? Like, you would think the technology. No, it looks like a medieval torture device.
It's one of the craziest things ever. And they're like, oh, hey, no problem.
We're just going to stuff this up you. A stainless steel duck beak.
No lube. None at all.
And then they're just like, this won't hurt.

Like, that's crazy.

Yeah.

Crazy.

So how often do you do that?

Well, you go once a year.

Once a year.

Yeah.

So anyway, everything was fine.

I know you guys were nervous.

Good.

But we're fine. See, I always have an abnormal and I have to do more.

Yeah, I've always had abnormal since I was like 16. What's abnormal about it? So many things.
Who knows? Well, thank you for raising awareness and making people feel less alone who have abnormal paps. Yeah, and then I have to go in and I'll always have to get – you've never had to get your cervix like scraped to do like more testing? I don't think so.
I always have to get my cervix scraped and I like test the cells. Why do they have to say scrape? Because they literally go in and scrape a piece off of it to like...
Chris, shut the fuck up. Chris has thrown up in his mouth seven times.
Chris, you're so freaking lucky. I hope that someone sticks something up your butthole.
I hope someone literally when you cough and they're feeling your – anyway, that's not going to – I'm going to get fired. Chris, you don't fucking get it.
No, Chris has actually learned a lot from us. Question I wanted to ask you.
Because I put on Smartless for the first time. I never listened to them.
Oh, okay. But like Adam Scott was on and I'm into Severance.
And their first

initial conversation was like what they need when they sleep. And I was like, I actually don't really know what you need when you sleep.
Actually, I kind of know what you need when you sleep. You like it to be dark.
Then you need to be watching something and you need your phone in on hands and then you kind of just let the night take you where it goes yeah i need it cool i need to be like cool i need to be like 68 in the room yeah and i need my stanley to be properly filled and next to me so one thing that paige hates about me is i do have stanleys but I don't put ice in it. So I just have warm Stanley's all the time.
She literally drank a water bottle. Then what's the point of a Stanley if you're not going to use its...
Sorry, I don't have an expensive ice machine. But you have ice.
Don't make it about the ice machine. Don't make it about the ice machine.
Wait, you want me to hand make ice? You have an ice maker. Yeah, but I don't like it.
the ice machine don't make it about the ice machine you want me to hand make ice you have an ice maker yeah but i don't like it i feel like it's dirty i it like sometimes smells you know what it smells like old water does anyone well then you need to clean it you clean your ice machine you have to clean your ice machine don't use that ice you've cleaned your i personally haven't but i've had my like go you call my ice machine cleaner i got a guy i'll send you a guy grab it um where were we oh yeah so you have your stanley i have my stanley and that's pretty much it that's it do you like black out curtains i love them but like it's super dangerous for a person like We can't wake up. No.
If you give me like blackout curtains, especially on like vacation, I've missed the whole day. A hundred percent.
See, this is the problem with marriage. Oh, you could never have a blackout curtain.
No, Des like needs blackout curtains. Oh does so does is like much more

temperamental so temperamental where i just want it ice cold and that's it yeah i could have you know you can punch me i'd go as far to say you don't even need the mattress or the accoutrement that go with it i don't use a pillow you'll lay your head wherever I just don't want to feel hot and that's it. But like, I, I, I really like the sun coming in cause I won't wake up or when I do, I'm going to be like in a dark, dark depressed state.
And then that's bad for everyone in my vicinity. No, I like a blackout curtain, but I, I have to be regimented with it or else I'll, You to set a strong alarm yeah like I have like semi blackout curtains right now do you remember in the movie the holiday when Kate Winslet goes to the LA mansion and when she wakes up all of it all automatically all the windows open I was and there's like a beach outside I was like okay, okay, goals manifest.
Yeah. I love that.
Des does this annoying thing where if I like make a movement, he wakes, like he wakes up so easily and he says it's because he's a hunter. Do you ever, are you ever like in bed with your husband and he's asleep and you're just like, it's not happening for me right now.
Like I'm just not, there's just a no situation. I'm going to sleep.
So do you remove yourself and like go to the couch and do your own thing and then go back? Or do you just lay there on your phone? Like no sound. Do you have a TV in your room? No.
Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I don't know what kind of military operations is over here. Is it Handmaid's Tale over there? What the fuck are you talking about? You just have to sit there with your thoughts.
He doesn't let you have a TV in your room? We just don't. And honestly, it's because of my parents.
Don't make excuses for him. It's because of my parents.
Like my parents are like, there's no TV allowed in your room. Oh, so you've never had a TV in your room? No, your last apartment, you had a TV in your room? No.
So when you go to bed at night, sorry, my eye is twitching now, like I'm faster than ever. What are you doing in there? Okay, so first I watch TV on the couch until I'm like about to pass out.
Which is like what time though? Give me a time frame. from 10 to 1 okay okay and then I try to roll myself in bed try not to wake up Des but he's always like yeah and then I'm like okay please stop and then I get into bed and then I go on my New York Times crossword app okay and that normally puts me asleep okay he listens to like a podcast in his ear.
That's his thing. He listens to like boring podcasts.
You guys are freaks. Well, and then if I can't, then I wait and then butter comes and butter starts cuddling me and that normally puts me to sleep.
Okay. But we have this one rule in our relationship where we're both, he has filmed me snoring before, which is illegal.'s HIPAA yeah but he knows he snores sometimes and he said I'm allowed to wake him up if he's snoring yeah so when he snores I poke him and he goes there's nothing I love more than waking a man up when he's snoring because you're like you're ruining the experience for everyone I do have to say snoring husbands like i think it ruins ruins marriages i could see that see i'm a big fan of like if i'm sleeping in the bed with a man and like i can't fall asleep and they're obviously like fell asleep three hours ago i love scramming like i love sneaking out of the, getting on the couch, turning my TikTok on full fucking blast, and then falling asleep on my own, like on the couch.
Yeah. And then like going back in the bedroom at like 5 a.m.
when I wake up. You're a cat.
No, I literally – That's what a cat does. No, like I have to – it's almost like I have to be, this is one of the reasons I'm actually so scared that like, maybe I really never will get married.
I hate sleeping in bed with men. Like I genuinely hate it.
And I, I don't know what it is. Cause like I can fall sleep on the couch with them, but once it comes to like getting in the bed and like falling asleep, I'm like, no, I have to be have to hang out myself more it doesn't make sense like we all have roommates right and then you get to the point where you try to not have a roommate but then you meet a guy now you're forced to have a roommate right but this roommate literally takes up half the bed and is hot and is breathing in your fucking yeah I'm like now I can't watch a tv show and like also have my phone on when it's like 3 a.m.
Because you have to sleep. Also, I understand intimacy sometimes.
I understand quality time. Yeah.
When you're both asleep, like is that really intimacy? It's just like you can't all have like four bedroom houses. I feel like sleeping in separate beds I honestly think is great.
Or just get like the biggest possible bed you can find find I need my own bedroom and I'm so down to start the night with you and then like start the morning with you but what I do in the in-between is like none of your business you're starting a business you're running numbers you're looking up past exes exes exes girlfriends you have stuff to do during the night. I saw a TikTok that was like, I still stalk my exes, ex, even though we broke up.
But she's part of my routine. Wait.
Wait, your comfort stalk. Your comfort stalk.
Your comfort stalk where like when you watch them, it kind of makes your day. Yeah.
You know, like. I haven't had like a good, I haven't had anyone good to stalk in so long because like my Finsta, I like, it got taken away.
It not got taken away, but I literally like forgot the password. It was like another, one of my other girlfriends.
And I was just like, it got logged off my Instagram like two years ago. And I was like, I probably shouldn't have one anymore.
And like, I don't have anyone good to stalk so like I don't have but when I saw that I was like oh I miss like stalking people I will stalk like random people like I like to see a photo of like a girl who looks cool and I'll click on her and I'm like oh my god she's so cool like her outfit yeah her aesthetic and then I'll see the guy she's with and I'll click him yeah and then you know I'm in like a wormhole of like I've actually followed this girl for years and she's not famous she's not an influencer but I found her one day and she lives in Lebanon and I watched her get engaged and I watched her get married and I just thought she was pretty I think she's so pretty and I think her husband's so hot and they're just like a normal couple that doesn't live in America and I stalk her all the time and that's important I think that's important and that's important for the world yeah can I say a criticism of Instagram I follow anything that inspires me on Instagram like if I see one Yeah. Oh, wow.
You throw out follows. I follow over 6,000 things on Instagram.
Bah. That's not what Instagram is made for because even though I feel like the more people you follow, the less people you see.
Yeah. I see the same four Insta stories of the same four people every day.
And like it's not even like I'm close to those people. Right.
It just somehow they're my algorithm and like I don't know I just feel upset I feel like I follow all these people and I want to see more isn't it crazy how like Facebook Instagram and TikTok are so vastly different like you have to put yourself in like I haven't gone on Facebook in. I don't know what the vibe is over there, but I know it's like really scary, but like you have to put yourself in like, when I'm in Tik TOK comments, I'm like, she's fun.
She's flirty. She can like say whatever.
Instagram comments are starting to get where I'm like, button up. Like, like, I want to say something snarky, but I'm like, are they going to get it where Tik TOK? like fully go off.
TikTok, you're like, was that crazy enough? My comment. Someone said the people that make TikToks are extroverts and the people that comment TikToks are introverts.
That's so funny. But more often, funnier.
That's interesting. I've never done drugs, but I feel like all the apps are just different types of drugs.
Yeah. So like I think TikTok's Molly, MDMA, as I like to say.
Yeah, I could see it. Or LSD.
Yeah. It's an opera.
She's definitely an opera. I feel like Instagram's cocaine.
Yeah. You're just like, this is the post.
Yeah. How many people are liking it? Did all my friends see it? Talk to me.
Like me. Share me.
wait and and facebook is like a viagra where you're like okay it's been 36 hours and we're still going stop posting about your tuna for sandwich yeah it's like you couldn't naturally get here someone had to show you how to like get here anytime on facebook it's by accident. Like, I click the wrong link.
Yeah, and, like, I click by accident. And I get so scared.
Oh, God. And then threads is.
I don't ever click threads. Threads is a popper.
A hundred percent. I have a question for the teachers.
What a segue. It was natural.
I thought it was natural natural are they still playing seven up in school i hope so or like was that lost with is that a dead art was that lost with our generation because i saw this tiktok and it was like things kids will never experience in school that you experienced remember when you had a textbook and you opened it up to see who had that textbook before you not a thing there's just like dicks go into the library you have to take out a book you see like everyone that took out that book the smell of that like light manila thing in the back of it like not there anymore so there were just all these things and then i was like are they playing seven up heads up like i need to know i I remember cheated so much in that game so i didn't like it i think i didn't think it was just because everyone was supposed to right i wanted if we were how are they cheating they were looking there's integrity in this game this is what we have to do because i wanted to compete yeah and i said if it's gonna be a fair competition i can't have people fucking people fucking looking and seeing who did it. Yeah.
So I didn't like 7up for that reason. However, it was a high that I haven't felt since.
No, there was a certain kind of high. And they shut the lights and I was like, it's a club.
No, when they turned the lights off, I was like, things are freaky. There was a sexual undertone.
There was. When they turned the lights off, it was like, if your crush picked you for 7-Up, it was like, game fucking over.
Yeah. No, wait.
That's so true. Wait, but did you play with guys? Yeah, I played in middle school.
See, since I had such long arms, I always felt like I was at an advantage for seven because i would pass you then put my arm out like someone's fingers down so it's like they already thought i'd i had gone you know kids these days will never experience rolling the tv when they roll yeah they'll never experience that they don't i wonder if this is gonna sound messed up but like can gen alpha like write like are they required to write in notebooks or is it just typing from day one i don't know grace how's your handwriting she's like why am i catching straight she's offended and appalled actually and speechless I would say. Why are men so bad at handwriting? Let's not get into it because mine's so bad, and people are really going to see when they get, like, signed copies of How to Giggle.
It's kind of crazy. Your signature is not that bad.
But my handwriting's not what you would expect. It's not what you envision.
It's just so off-brand for me. You envision you having, like, full calligraphy.
Yeah, and it's not. It's few things that people like really assume about me and I let them because it's better than what's reality and that's one of them it's none of your business none of my business what you think my handwriting is in your head yeah exactly um my handwriting is like fine like it's not embarrassing no your handwriting's fine it's fine um but writing I think was therapeutic also hot take I have had some days where I was off my phone the last couple weeks yeah and I just want to say that um the world is your phone actually does cause depression no I thought fully I'm sorry like I've had so many days that I end up spiraling because of like the littlest thing I saw on my phone yeah and I'm like yeah I could not look at my phone but like whatever but I've actually been off my phone and like I feel a new I feel just different you know what's funny is like I haven't been on my phone either like the past couple of days and there's nothing.
Meanwhile, we both have seven hours of screen time.

100%.

There is nothing not being on your phone and truly not knowing what's going on on the internet

because you're just literally with the people that you're with in real life.

And then you get a text from two friends where you're like, are you okay?

Yep.

I hope like, oh, I don't know how you're dealing with all this.

It's so much.

And I'm like, wait. I'm fine.
I'm fine. And like I was fine, but actually what's everyone saying? Send me all the screenshots.
Well, at first you do get FOMO, and I felt like I didn't know what was happening in the world. But then you start feeling better than people.
You're like, oh, you're up on that. I'm sorry.
I was living. Yeah, I'm like, sorry.
I was trying to stay off my phone the past couple of days.'s going on but it is like and my voice changes to that it is like sugar though where i feel like at first you're like fiending you actually feel worse you you start like trying to focus and you can't focus in real life you're like what did people do my hands will shake because i'm like check their profile check it like see what that one said yeah Yeah. And then you're just like, like looking at the wall, staring at it.

Like, what's my purpose?

But then after, I feel like I had less FOMO when I was off my phone and I started to just like feel better within myself. And like, I'm not a big comparison person.
I think everyone compares online. I'm surprised you have FOMO as much as you do because you don't really like going out.
No,omo was more like what's what's like going on in like in the news and like i want to know like every all the gossip like i like yeah like what are like the niche tiktok references that are only happening this week i want to know the the jokes i want to know what's like i feel like i did say a tiktok reference the other day and you're like sorry i don't know what you're talking about because I haven't been on my phone and I was like oh my god I'm so sorry. I know but things are just like simpler when you're off your phone.
No it's a simpler time. Like I feel like I live.
I'm literally ballerina farms when I don't go on my phone for two days. I'm like should I have a baseball team of children? I swear to god I was off my phone and I was like I think I have time to have a baby and then I realized like we come up with the craziest things when we're not on our phone for three days I thought I was too busy to have a baby because I'm like in so many mental like jumping around and gymnastics on my phone all day and then I stopped being on my phone and I was like I literally literally could have a child.
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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers.
I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know

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Also, I mean, did you see the gifting?

How freaking cute were all of those little boxes?

I was obsessed with them.

I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with

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Mauricio has – Like Kyle. Kyle's guy had a bracelet stack.
And it was – Of like stretchy like Taylor Swift bracelets or like of like Cartier? I think it was a combination. Just like a man wearing stacked bracelets and everyone was like, oof,'s going through something.
Yeah. Like this is a weird stage.
I don't – men with too many accessories, like you're trying to distract me from something. I don't trust men who wear a lot of accessories at all.
And like a stacked bracelet moment. What are Des's accessories of choice? Oh, my God.
Well, his first birthday, I almost bought him him a watch and i bought him this watch from like this um vintage place yeah give it to me there's no watch in it they just gave me an empty box and thank god i didn't leave the store or they would have thought i just like stole a watch yeah and then i wasn't able to get it for him and i was like i was gonna get you a watch and i got him something else and he was like i've never worn a watch in my life why would you ever get me a watch wow not a watch guy and i was like i don't know because you're yeah that's like you look like there's like four gifts you get men it's like golf stuff all watch like he doesn't wear watches he doesn't wear necklaces he really is. The man, he just wants like sporting equipment.

That's nice.

He doesn't, oh my God, I bought him a wallet once.

He was like, I don't need a wallet.

Wait, where's he put his stuff?

Where's he put his ID?

I don't know.

You've never asked?

It's just like, they don't even have, they have nothing.

And they just have it.

It's just like in his pocket.

I think he might have a clip or something.

My dad doesn't have – my dad raw dogs it.

Like he just holds cash and a card.

I don't even know if he holds an ID.

Clamshells.

Yeah.

What is he using?

How is he paying for things?

Can I ask, what are cool girls doing for wallets?

I have a card case. Oh, yeah, you do do i have like a ysl card thing yeah what do you use so i've actually had a come de garçon oh yeah like little like short wallet eight years yeah you've had that it has a zipper because i don't trust anyone yeah or.
I used to have like a long like mom wallet.

It's too big.

It's too big.

It's too big.

So I have that.

And I was just wondering like I think there's so many good like cute vintage wallets going around.

You know what my assistant got me for Christmas that is adorable.

She went to Japan like with her family like over Christmas.

She went to Japan to buy me something.

And she went did like because obviously japan has like the craziest vintage shopping and she found this louis vuitton key holder that they don't even make anymore they like stopped making them like in the 50s yeah and so you like it has like a little button and you like open it up and it has like a little chain and you like attach your keys to it and then you like snap it shut. Like cute.
It's so freaking cute. So cute.
And so I bring that everywhere. I have that in my card case.
And that's actually like what's in my pocket right now. Do you remember when you were going out and it was trendy to have those tiny bags and like we didn't what to do.
And you were just like – like you just lose your phone.

Yeah.

Are those little bags – they're not trending anymore, are they?

Little bags are kind of like out.

Now it's like you need the biggest bag ever.

Yeah.

Now you need to like put a huge leather bag in the middle of a table. It's very like a bohemian.

And you have to carry it like this.

Like this is my child.

And it has to look like it's been through hell and back. Yeah.
Which actually, honestly on brand for me anyway mauricio i hope you're okay um so that's how we started that yeah i hate men with an with a bracelet situation like that one time i i bought myself a tennis bracelet like because hello obviously and i was like dating a man at the time and he was like i want a tennis bracelet too and i was like chris do you have any accessories i have a watch and then in the summertime i'll throw one bracelet on sometimes wait explain it to me what about the summer makes it bracelet weather it's bracelet time dude we're just loose one bracelet We're just loose. One bracelet doesn't.
No, but why

not the winter? I don't know. It just doesn't

feel right. Yeah, because they're wearing short sleeves

and they're like, hey, we're loose out here.

I'm in the accessories.

No, but this man wanted a diamond tennis

bracelet. I almost threw off.
No.

I was like, it's not

for you. No, it's not for you at all.

I was like, cool, buy yourself one

and me.

Buy yourself one in my size. Thank you then get two i also i want to call out the new york times um what do they do what do they do now well i love the new york times i get a lot of great emails from them but one i just want all the gigglers this is our mental health moment wait did you feel like such you, like, subscribed to the New York Times? Oh, yeah.
I was like, I know what's going on. Like, I'm an adult.
I pay taxes. Like, sometimes I'll get, like, emails and I forget that I'm, like, subscribed to, like, Business Insider.
I'm like, what business do I have even being subscribed to this? I don't remember subscribing to anything, but I am. Yeah.
And I am business insider. I think that we all have to remember that no one knows what they're doing.
Everything's smoke and mirrors. Uh-huh.
And everyone's talking out of their ass and flailing. Yeah.
Because the New York Times, someone wrote this article like they were like really, um, onto something. Yeah.
They figured something out. Really passionate about it.
I swear to God this is the article. Chef recommends chips in sandwich.
Like it was some groundbreaking discovery. I've been putting chips in my tuna fish sandwich since I was fucking six years old.
Since we were given sandwiches. And they literally, with this whole article, like he highly recommends the texture and saltiness of the crisp.
No shit, Sherlock. You ever had a turkey sandwich with a Dorito chip smack dab on there in the middle of a summer day? Hello? A cool ranch Dorito with a turkey? Get a grip, me.
Get a grip, time. What the hell? Like, and I at least like give credit where credit's due.
It's us when we're six years old. Don't give it to this.
This, this guy didn't have to go to France and work for a Michelin star restaurant to tell me chips taste good in a sandwich. You actually said something a little bit ago that people don't talk about enough.
Chips on a tuna sandwich, much different than chips on any other sandwich. I would say it makes the whole tuna sandwich.

A hundred percent.

A homemade tuna.

Has to be homemade.

Yes.

A hundred percent.

I didn't think people ate sandwiches without chips in them.

Yeah.

So anyway. It's really hard to eat a sandwich.

No chip.

Yeah.

That's kind of.

It's like.

Raw dog game.

What's my side?

Yeah.

So I just don't have a side?

A hundred percent.

But I really love that they were like.

We figured it out. Also wait.
Let's play a game really quickly. I feel like you're similar I feel like you're similar to me in this.
Certain meals i.e. like certain sandwiches require certain drinks.
And it's very specific on, what drink to what you're eating.

I mean, there's definitely things that are illegal.

So, like, Chinese food, I'm going one, two, three, soda.

Ice tea.

Okay.

I don't drink soda.

Oh, right.

I'm actually going ginger ale.

Yeah.

Okay.

Turkey sandwich, one, two, three.

Gatorade.

Gatorade, snapple.

Snapple, too.

Same thing.

Juice is what I was going for. Juice.
Juice. Okay.
I'm trying to think of it. But, like, I can have a turkey sandwich and not have an iced tea.
My mom, who's, like, a health buff, cannot have pizza without Coke. That was it.
That's another really good one. Pizza, you need a Coca-Cola.
Because the soda gets through the fatty ass. You just need it.
It's a scientific thing. You literally need it.
I don't know. Maybe I should read the New York Times to figure out.
No, but I do have to say, the New York Times has incredible cooking. The recipes are insane.
Really? Yeah, New York Times recipes, people will be like, fancy people will be like, oh, this is a salmon recipe from the New York Times. It's very regalal.
That's why when I saw a whole article about putting chips in a sandwich, I was like, who, what kind of layoffs did they have at the New York Times? Did you do your wedding in the New York Times? No, we chose not to. I think I'm going to throw mine in there.
Yeah. And Vogue.
Yeah. I already planned out your whole wedding's PR tour.
I can't wait.

I'm so excited.

What a fun time.

What a fun time.

You know what's so funny to think about?

How different my bachelorette party is going to be than yours because, like, we're older now.

But really, like, I should have had that type of bachelorette party and I'm probably going to have one that you should have had.

Like, what if I'm like, let's go to a farm upstate?

I was supposed to be the last of my friends to get married. I know.
like my literal first i felt that in my heart of hearts but like i think i'm gonna say something i never thought i was gonna be the last i really every time we went around the group at the lunch table in high school no one ever picked me last also you're not the last none of of our friends are married. Who are our friends, honestly?

We have to stop comparing ourselves to

Grace, who's younger than us. True.

Works for us. Not our actual

doesn't want to be our friend.

Okay. I'm literally contractually

obligated to be here right now.

You're not last.

No, I'm literally kidding.

Life is about perspective.

I need to be last because I need to get up in the middle of the night and go on the couch and be by myself and once i work through that i also like thinking when i'm younger and we used to like hook up with guys and like like just stay i don't know i it's when you're in your 30s it over? Yeah. Yeah, it's like I'm not staying over.

And then just roommates are there when you get out.

Oh, well, I would never do – well, come on.

Have some respect on my fucking name.

You think I'm staying at places where people have roommates?

Get a grip, Hannah.

Sorry.

But also, like, the roommates were fun.

It was part of the hang.

Like, after the ball, you're like, come on, hang with us.

Totally part of the hang when you're, like, 26, 32.

It's a bit depressing.

It's like, say bye to your roommate for me. Like, no.
You're like, Jeff, don't give me that look, Jeff. Your life sucks, Jeff, and your room is ugly.
I don't like the decor. No.
You don't even have a real light. No, it is funny.
Like, even in my 20s, though, I didn't really, I don't feel like I slept out that much because. You know what's way worse than waking up in someone's apartment with roommates when he wakes up in your bed and won't leave see i rather that because i feel like i would i'm it's easier for me to like get you the fuck out than like i hate waking up somewhere else and i'm like i have to go home and wash my face and like see I like being able to be like bye bitch I'm out than having to awkwardly wake him up or like he's chatting chatting chatting and you're like I don't I do that before like I'm like okay this was great see ya once I was talking to this guy who lived with his parents in Connecticut and I was unsure if his parents were rich or not.
Because Connecticut, there's many different towns. So I wasn't sure yet.
But anyway, he came to the city to hang out. And then we went back to my place.
And it was middle of the day. And then hooked up.
And then he just was sitting there. And I was like, I have shit to do.
To go. And he was like I'm just, you know, and you didn't have a TV in your room.

So he wasn't watching TV and I literally was like, I'm going to go to the gym.

I left, went to the gym, came back.

He's still there to shower.

And he was like, I have something in the city like later tonight. Can I just like chill?

I wonder if I was ever someone that like somebody had to get out.

I don't think we've ever like wanted to stay anywhere.

No, I really... Can I just like chill? I wonder if I was ever someone that like somebody had to get out.
I don't think we've ever like wanted to stay anywhere.

No, I really don't think I am.

One time I hooked up with a guy.

I don't, this has nothing to do with it.

I don't know why this just popped into my head.

This is so off topic.

One time I hooked up with a guy who had no sense of smell.

When did he bring that up in conversation the next morning i was like oh my god i have to brush my teeth i'm so sorry and he goes doesn't matter i have no sense of smell and i was like what happened that was it i never saw him again honestly it had nothing to do with that actually i would love to be with that man because i could just fart all the time i literally I also actually forget his name. This was so long ago.
But I don't know why that just popped into my head because honestly, that was like a time where I was like, OK, I want to go home. Do you know what's not fun about your 20s? Going to guys' places and them having something on TV that you have to watch and pretend you like.
I have like a lot of memories of like hanging out with a bunch of guys who put on like the Big Lebowski or something and I'm like I don't need to see this again. Where my nervous like narcolepsy.
Chris is laughing because he just did that last night with someone. Yeah Big Lebowski.
He's like wow Big Lebowski. Like there's so much stuff I didn't want to watch.
See we grew up in an era though that like it was the office for like our age group. Like anywhere you go it was someone just put the office on they love showing you something they like and then you have to sit there and be like because i'm gonna be fake this is where like my my nervousness narcolepsy comes in play like i can fall asleep i'm like oh i just remembered i don't want to be here i'll fall sleep that's you literally severing yourself yeah and like i'm done with this you know i'm literally off do you know how many that like recollections i have of guys being like are you still awake and i'm like no shut the fuck up how many guys disappointed they're like she fell asleep at 7 p.m we didn didn't do anything.
I was just so comfortable with you. Get the fuck out of my house.
I feel like, yeah, we have to go to like places in our mind to remember those like weird 20s scenarios. No, I can't.
But I was lucky where I had a lot of male roommates who were like really protective of me. So like, I don't know.
It was harder it was harder. Yeah.
They would just like look out for me. I wasn't like.
Yeah. How, wait, how nice though? Like.
Corey and Dave literally raised me. Yeah.
Like you never had like a moment in your apartment when you were like, oh my God. Like, you know, when you hear something and you're like, fuck, is someone going to try, is trying to break in? Like you had two men in your apartment.
I mean, every now and then I'd wake up and they're both fucking passed out on the ground with like okay well you're not defending and i'm like you guys have jobs and i have to wake them up to make sure they don't get fired but regardless they definitely did cock block a little bit because people would think that i'm like with them but they would benefit from me because there's that whole like if a girl sees another girl hanging out with guys it's like animalistic where she thinks they're safer.

So like because I was with them, girls would approach them more.

Guys wouldn't approach me.

But think about your interactions. Like I feel like 89% of the interactions are bad when you go out with men or more.

And I was able to just like have them like.

I really don't think like men approach girls anymore like I just really don't think they do unless like unless someone knows someone like that I'm like sitting with it's not like some random guy is gonna come up to me like that hasn't happened to me in years like I don't know if men do that anymore this has a really good joke where he's like you used to have to get rejected to your face yeah like you had to go up to girls I would have loved to live then he's like you had to get the balls and then she would tell you her number and you had to remember it and like repeat it in your head over and over again um yeah I'm like I don't remember what the joke actually was but something along the lines of like you'd ask a girl like are you interested whatever and she'd say no and then you go to her friend and then you just like go down the line but yeah guys now like it's all about the swiping yeah like what i couldn't tell you the last time in person someone said can i have your number the only time it happened to me is like really weird inappropriate places like i remember i was at like a bookstore and a guy like was like can I have your number is that the grocery store inappropriate I could see like in their head they think it's romantic but it was giving like a guy was just like walking around the bookstore like going up to women being like can I have your number and I'm like I I don't want to be here yeah I don't know if you could actually approach me anywhere and maybe like yeah sure you can have my any guy who's ever like just asked for my number it's been a problem it's been a police report's been made okay so then i'll just decline i think it's more like a guy starts up a conversation i'd like to meet someone that lives in my building so i don't have to go anywhere but everyone in my building is 104 which actually seems nice which actually could work out open-minded yeah stay open-minded the only thing i'll give the gigglers to watch on i believe it's hbo there's this case about karen reed which is about a girl who was dating a police officer in boston and she was drunk and they got into like a little bit of a fight because he they're going to after party he went into the after party and to meet all his cop friends and she was like waiting on him and he like wasn't responding to her so she got pissed off and just left and the next day it's reported that he's found dead in the snow and immediately they said that she hit him with her car and she was like was i drunk like i'm

pretty sure he was not there i don't know where this is coming from and then they're trying to

lean in to be like what was it the cops trying to frame her if your job at a health care facility

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Not available in all states. Oh my God.
So anyway, I don't know what happens. I'm in the middle of it, but it's pretty intense.
Can I tell you that this is my favorite picture of you ever? Oh my God. Thank you.
That's really great to put on an audio podcast. That was really helpful.
Shout out. Our book is like coming like out coming out you guys it's happening like if you have like flipped through it last night i was like pretty good if you haven't pre-ordered it by now you're already behind behind like am i going full used car salesman it's the best book you're ever gonna see it's the best deal all year no one else is has these prices we've slashed them five times if you want a good warranty and a car then did you do this in

the past life that was really good that was really good um thank you guys for giggling with us this

week we love you so much and talk to you later. Thank you.