Giggling about chaos goblins, jelly sandals, and double dates

Speaker 1 So, I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said, I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch.

Speaker 1 So, I started listing them on Depop, and honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over, and someone out there will be obsessed with them.
And the best part, there's no seller fees, none.

Speaker 1 So, the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy.
I listed something while watching TV, and it sold before the episode even ended.

Speaker 1 Depop isn't just one aesthetic, either, it's all of them. Minimal, street wear, date night, whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it.

Speaker 1 So download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite.

Speaker 1 And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style Hotline.

Speaker 1 We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at gigglystylehotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show.

Speaker 1 Depop, where taste recognizes taste. Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad.
There's an all-new season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives now streaming on Hulu.

Speaker 1 Mom Talk might have started as a sisterhood, but these Latter-day Saints are no angels. This season, there's new secrets, lies, and truths coming out, and you won't want to miss all the drama.

Speaker 1 Watch the new season of the Hulu original, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundled subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Sup, gigglers, Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed.

Speaker 1 I mean, the day just got away from me.

Speaker 1 What's up, my Gretchen Wiener gigglers? That's a really good one.

Speaker 1 I just looked down. What the fuck is going on with your nails?

Speaker 1 You subconsciously hid them.

Speaker 1 You know I'm going through a rough time.

Speaker 1 Are you? No. Are you not? Okay, look.
You know when you're up late and it's like 1 a.m. and you're like, I'm gonna stay up.
This is pick. I'm gonna stay up till like 1:30.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, what's until 2? And the next thing you know, it's 5 a.m. You're like, why don't I just get an early start on the morning? Yeah.
You're like, shanty answer some emails.

Speaker 1 No, I do that all the time. And then I fall asleep at like 6 a.m.
till 10 a.m. Late is late.
Yeah. Okay.
That's what happened with my nails. They started to grow out.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, well, they're grown out. And then I was like, okay, they're still grown.
Look, my nails, can we get close up if you guys are watching on YouTube?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it's just, I was like, I was like, at first, I go, she got tips. And then I was like, oh, she made her own.

Speaker 1 And then she's a whole winker. Now I'm

Speaker 1 DIY. Now I'm embarrassed for my nail girl to see it.
Jacqueline's gonna be like, Jacqueline. No, but you know what? Jacqueline doesn't judge me.
No, she

Speaker 1 loves me for me.

Speaker 1 And that's why I love Jacqueline. And Jacqueline doesn't like talking to me, which is why I love Jacqueline.
No, me and Jacqueline watch shows. Yeah.
Jacqueline's like, you watch a show without me?

Speaker 1 She's like, we're on episode four, babe.

Speaker 1 Jacqueline will giggle while the show is.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Wait, we haven't seen each other in person for like two weeks, so we're like.

Speaker 1 Speaking of shows, let me just get into it real quick. Yes, get into the shows.

Speaker 1 I always want to say real housewives, but no. What is it? Saving the lives of Mormon wives.
Not so secret, by the way. It is.

Speaker 1 First of all, Hulu is just fucking crushing it.

Speaker 1 Shout out Hulu. No, truly shout out Hulu because I feel like anytime I'm like, I just need like a good TV show and I'm like a sitcom-y girl.
hulu is really giving me

Speaker 1 episodic i want episodes layers and layers and seasons you want to know what i am gonna compliment hulu on that i'm watching like a random detective show

Speaker 1 episodes episodes

Speaker 1 episodes storylines

Speaker 1 yeah sorry netflix i don't want jump the shark get me back i don't want four episodes netflix that's actually not a season wait Period.

Speaker 1 It is so emotionally volatile to give me a four episode series and then never hear from that character again. Where are they? Are they okay? Has anyone checked on them?

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm waiting on a show from Apple since 2021. And when you have to wait for a show for so long that you have to rewatch the season to know what characters' names are.

Speaker 1 I actually don't get that mad at that because I'm like, oh, silly me. Yeah, like a new eight episode like Nider.
Do you know what my husband is a man?

Speaker 1 He listens to podcasts of his favorite shows, and I think that's like another level of nerd. Oh, like the, like the F if you want more,

Speaker 1 he's that person. Wow, you know, you're like, who the fuck is doing that? I've always wondered that.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 I feel like maybe me and you would if we had jobs that we had to like go somewhere to, you know, like if we had to walk to work, if we had to go somewhere.

Speaker 1 I just lost all my senses. What?

Speaker 1 You said a job, and I was like, when I had a nine to five, yeah, and I wouldn't walk to work, I was on my like, my podcast game. You were on your podcast game.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Not to speak about my husband, which on my last YouTube episode, you our last YouTube episode.

Speaker 1 On my part of the YouTube,

Speaker 1 my scene.

Speaker 1 No, you need to. We started doing more confessionals next year.
I'm sure. You, yeah, we had to do confessionals, but you started like saying that I love my husband, which was like fucked up.

Speaker 1 And I wouldn't do that to you.

Speaker 1 I would never do that to you. Even if you fucking told me you loved your husband, I wouldn't say that.
You want to know what?

Speaker 1 I got so many text messages being like, wait, it's so sweet how much Hannah loves Des. Des.

Speaker 1 I have a Dez story and I never tell Des stories. And I texted back and I go, ew, gross, buddy.
You go, who's Dez?

Speaker 1 I was like, who's dead? So Des, I keep him protected. I keep him sidelined.
I told them before you start this, because this is actually about.

Speaker 1 Before you start a 40-minute story,

Speaker 1 I had to write a list of like invite tees for something. And someone said, what about Hannah's husband?

Speaker 1 Do you know my bio at the end, it says Hannah Berner lives in New York with her cat, butter? And my mom was like, you have a husband.

Speaker 1 And I go, Oh, yeah, he probably won't come, but I guess we could throw him an invite.

Speaker 1 Now I'm nervous that I'm invited to something. Now I'm scared.
It's like nothing. So, Des shot another special at the comedy seller.

Speaker 1 Now, Des and I have a rule: I'm not allowed to come to special tapings because I bring

Speaker 1 chaos goblin.

Speaker 1 Chaos goblin is my new word. I don't love it, but it might grow on me.

Speaker 1 You know, some people are chaos goblin. Chaos goblin.
I'm just, it's so like frumpy for me.

Speaker 1 You only want pretty words around.

Speaker 1 You know that word is not pretty, not cute.

Speaker 1 Sorry, chaos angel? Yeah. An angelic chaos gorgeous person.

Speaker 1 I, no, it's just, he's basically like, I need to focus on the show and me coming just, he doesn't want

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 And I said, you know what? I love that and I respect you. And that's why I'm, I don't care that your friends are going, whatever.
I will not go. Yeah.
I love you so much.

Speaker 1 You're not going to see my face.

Speaker 1 We're divorcing. So I laid back and my man, he got dressed up.
I said, it was like he was going after war. I said, good luck being laying in bed and your man having to go anywhere.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 And he was like, oh, go. I even like, I put some powder on him because he was going to be on camera.
And I was his makeup artist. And I said, you look great.
Get out of here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he calls me after the first show. And you know, when you know someone well, that like their tone, you immediately know if something went went well or not.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And by his tone of voice, I was like, oh, he crushed it. Yeah.
So when you shoot a special, you shoot two shows typically, and they get edited together.

Speaker 1 But if the first show doesn't go well, that's a lot of pressure. Because then the second show, you need to fucking nail.

Speaker 1 Does Des ever take beta blockers? No, but I feel like I should start putting it in his drink

Speaker 1 just to calm the vibes.

Speaker 1 Like if I know something stressful is coming up for him and like, yeah,

Speaker 1 drug your husband. I'm not a, I was just gonna say.
It's not addictive. You can drug them.
It's not. I'll just put it with his Advil.
Yeah, it's fine. Which he's overdosed on.

Speaker 1 Someone should check that. Um, Tylenol.
So he calls me, and then you have the phone. And like, we're not fun.
Like, we're not a fun couple. We're not like doing crazy things.
Right.

Speaker 1 You're not like showing up in a bob, blonde bob. No, and we're not like.

Speaker 1 Oh, we were bored. So we took a trip.
Like, we're not gonna come home.

Speaker 1 Or like, we didn't know what to do. So we

Speaker 1 thank God.

Speaker 1 Because I'm not that either. Oh, we're bored.
So we went here for the weekend. Shut the fuck up.
Do we plan full trips of what we would do if we wanted to go to Tokyo? Would we ever make it to Tokyo?

Speaker 1 Have we canceled flights to Tokyo? Yes. We do that a lot.
We want. We're career women.
Yes. We want the fun of planning a trip.
Yes. But we're never going to be able to get it.
Yes. I love that.

Speaker 1 I took this month off. I've never worked more in my life.

Speaker 1 I was like, guys, don't contact me for May. I'm freezing my eggs.
They were like, cool. You have to be on a plane, a train.
I'm like, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm giving a speech tomorrow.

Speaker 1 You're like, I'm on the presidential ballot and I didn't know how this happened.

Speaker 1 So I get off the phone and I think, would it be fucking crazy if I put on clothes, Dyson air-wrapped, like a quick Dyson, not like in

Speaker 1 full-ledged. Yeah, not

Speaker 1 full-fledged.

Speaker 1 Put a little lip liner and got in a cab and like watched his show.

Speaker 1 And then when he got off I'm there to be like hello literally to be like Kylie Jenner with Timothy Chaloner at the Knicks game you're just supporting I want to sorry I want to support my man like I can't always you're literally giving Kylie right now your tits are out wait I was gonna say are they distracting you a little bit because I'm wearing my Lululemon top and it's giving yeah like people forget that you have really good boobs because it's it's the least interesting thing about me and I want people to see my bad personality show them off I want them to focus on my multiple personalities instead Like, I don't think I've ever seen you in a top where I'm like, oh my God, Hannah's giving like tits tonight.

Speaker 1 I think it's because I talk so much and I'm saying so many things that you can't get distracted by anything else. And you also love your ass more.

Speaker 1 How did we get to that? You know me.

Speaker 1 Why are you talking to me like a literal truck driver? Yeah, you love your ass.

Speaker 1 I'm more of a tits guy, but you love Shake Neck. Sorry, I don't know why.
I've been feral today.

Speaker 1 I think it's because I'm losing all my estrogen. No, you're back.
You are relapsing. No, I'm fully relapsing.
I hate to say it. I'm like, one week in my femininity, gone.

Speaker 1 Can I just say that you were the happiest I've ever seen you be in the last two weeks? To the point that I was like, are we even compatible as friends right now?

Speaker 1 Because she's not criticizing anything. She's not grumpy.
I'm so happy. You're not complaining at all.
I'm like, this is boring as far as anything bad that happened. I was like, and so is life.
No,

Speaker 1 you stopped and you were like, wait, New York is so beautiful in the spring.

Speaker 1 She stopped. I complained about something and she goes, to be negative, what is that like?

Speaker 1 And then today on a call, I was like, how about this? How about everyone's fired and you can lose my fucking number? See, I love you like this. I love when you're a little bit mad.

Speaker 1 I have more grapes, so let's keep going. Good.
So I call my mom.

Speaker 1 I'm not just going to do something without going

Speaker 1 on my own free will. No.

Speaker 1 I literally am like, I have to run this by Lenore Berner.

Speaker 1 Wait, it's like a weeknight at like, what, like 10 p.m.? It was a school night. Yeah.
I said, Lenore Berner, I called her by her government name. I said,

Speaker 1 do I surprise Des and her first response was, didn't he tell you verbatim he does not want you to be there tonight?

Speaker 1 And I said, but does that mean he like kind of does want me to be like, you know, when you don't know if your partner's trying to be like, yeah, don't get me flowers. Like, is it like that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she's like, you know what? I support this. And I'm like, okay, if it goes by, it's on you, Lenore Berner.
So I get in the car and his show starts at 10, the second show. And it's like 10.30.

Speaker 1 And also getting into the comedy cellar is hard. Yeah.
Like, and obviously I'm a comic, but like, there's so many security guards. And I got lucky.

Speaker 1 I just was like, I'm Des Bishop's wife, which I've never said before. I was just going to say, have you ever said that before? But he was like, it's his night.
So I was like, I don't have a name.

Speaker 1 I just have these beautiful boobs. I'm Des Bishop's wife.
You were a missus. I was that night.
It was like for a second, it was fun just being helpless. Yeah, like, I don't have anything else.

Speaker 1 You were like, Sorry, I have a sourdough at home. Yeah, you know, I was like, I just need to find my man.
I'm scared. Yeah, that was my vibe.
And they said, Go downstairs. I said, Thank you.

Speaker 1 So I walk down the stairs and I'm standing there, and he's not on stage yet. Which, like, I'm like, Oh shit, did I time it wrong? Because the opener was still on stage, didn't know where he was.

Speaker 1 And a manager comes up to me and they're like, You can't stand here, ma'am. And I was like, That's Bishop's wife.

Speaker 1 That's Bishop's wife. Have you seen that video where it's like, I'm

Speaker 1 it's like

Speaker 1 it's like this TikTok video, and it's this guy sitting in his car, and this woman comes over and he's like, You can't park there. I'm gonna go get Ted Anderson.
He's like, Okay, I don't know.

Speaker 1 So I was literally

Speaker 1 like, I'm just gonna wipe. Everyone's like, We don't care.
This is the line for the bathroom. Fucking move.
Literally. So I was standing there, and the guy's like, literally was like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 And he like guides me in. Basically, you can't stand here, ma'am.
And I was like, don't call me ma'am.

Speaker 1 I'm a missus.

Speaker 1 So he kind of shows me in and I go, I'm Des Bishop's wife. And he goes, okay, well, Des is right here.

Speaker 1 So Des is. He's like, that's weird because this is Des Bishop's wife.

Speaker 1 Wait, did we just make this into a full second family exposing?

Speaker 1 Wait, I just pictured

Speaker 1 some like red-headed woman that looks exactly like you, but she has an Irish accent.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Okay, the series isn't even funny.
That's not funny.

Speaker 1 His secret family got to see his special, and I didn't. Anyway, so Dez is sitting there, and the one thing I was trying not to do is for him to see me, because I wanted him to see me at the end.

Speaker 1 So immediately he looks at me and he's like,

Speaker 1 immediately he spots me. The first person I see is Jesse Bishop.
And he goes, what are you doing here? Like when I came in, I was like, and Dezbishop's white. And he looks at me so disappointed.

Speaker 1 And he literally was like, you had one job, which was not to come to the taping.

Speaker 1 And the manager's looking at me. You're kissing your mom.
You're like,

Speaker 1 it was like, the one time I tried to be romantic and cute,

Speaker 1 like it backfired so bad because he was like, now I'm worried if you're having, now I'm all worried. And then I was like, I could leave.
Like, this was stupid.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I have to walk on stage right now. And I'm like, let me make this not me really.
You literally went, ruined the whole thing,

Speaker 1 made the most nerve-wracking moment of his life 10 times more nerve-wracking. You ever made chaos goblin? No.
And when I tell you guys, though, my heart is in the right place. Yeah.
Like, my heart

Speaker 1 is so fucking pure. You mean what? All he wants to make that man happy.
Yeah. Have I ever made a man happy? No.
Actually, do I ever want to make a man happy? No. No.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 At the end of the day, I'm does his lesson. And that's what I am.
Through the north to his Kim. You know, what can we say? What can we say? What can we say? What can we say?

Speaker 1 So, he gets on stage, and I'm sitting there, and I realize, like, if he does bad, it's on you.

Speaker 1 It's I'm fully, it's fully on me. So, I'm sitting there trying to enjoy it.
But you're like,

Speaker 1 I was laughing.

Speaker 1 Now, everybody,

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 let it go.

Speaker 1 He does, I start crying, laughing. He's like, that's not even fun.
You're like the opposite of heckling. You're like, yelling.
I started the wave.

Speaker 1 You're You're like, we love you, Dad.

Speaker 1 No, I was doing the,

Speaker 1 I was throwing him. And it went amazing.
And then we got off the stage and he's like, what's, why did you do that? Yeah. And I was just like, I'm sorry, but you did amazing.

Speaker 1 So thank God he did amazing. And that's why you should stay home.
Right. That's the most important thing.
And that's another lesson on staying home.

Speaker 1 Everything that's ever happened to me in my life that is bad has happened to me when I've left the house. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then anything that's happened to me that's bad in the house is me remembering things that happened outside the house.

Speaker 1 Or on my phone. And so, like, I should start placing my phone outside my front door.

Speaker 1 Wait, I don't know why, but the algorithm, it is like, remember Facebook, how they just recommend all your exes or like people you don't like, and you're like, yeah, I don't follow them for a reason.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's how your algorithm is.
Like, I will mute so many things that I don't want to see. It finds me every time.
Yeah. It's like, it's like a fungus.
That's how I feel about online shopping.

Speaker 1 Oh, like they keep recommending you things and you're like,

Speaker 1 I said, I didn't want it anymore. Do you think you have a problem?

Speaker 1 Or do you think you're an entrepreneur? I'm an entrepreneur. I'm doing market research.
Do you feel a high when you do it? When I shop online. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does it fill a void that you never thought you could fill? Yeah. Does it make you feel like

Speaker 1 better? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So bring it to your local therapist because they're wrong. It actually does make you happier.
I find the buying is way more fun than actually, like

Speaker 1 having to put it away in your closet. You're just stressed right now.
Yeah. You're up, you're overwhelmed.
You're inundated with

Speaker 1 I'm overstimulated, underprepared for life.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 And that's your autobiography. That's spot on.

Speaker 1 How are you?

Speaker 1 I was just going to say, let's start at the bottom. Let's start at the bottom.
The preamble. We love a preamble.

Speaker 1 A preamble story.

Speaker 1 We're preamble friends. Like, when we first see each other.
We need a warm-up.

Speaker 1 Well, we're like cats. We're like, we sniff each other a little.
Yeah. We roll around.
We say, I have to think of like the tea that I have. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Well, you, yeah, you've, you're bad at like having tea ready for me. It needs to boil.
I need to like think. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, new criteria for me, which I didn't know I needed. I need a cat, dad.
If a man doesn't like your cat. We don't like that man.
He can't take care of a cat. He just likes dogs.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't like that energy at all. We want a sensitive, beautiful soul because cats are about...

Speaker 1 You have to be aware of them. You have to be able to listen.

Speaker 1 And we love men who listen. And that's why.
Temptations, America's number one cat treat, is on a mission to show how resistable cat dads truly are.

Speaker 1 This segment is brought to you by Temptations and Acast Creative. I love a cat dad.

Speaker 1 Actually, Butter did not like Dez at first, and he fed her for seven months before she let him touch her, and that's called boundaries. I need to have those.

Speaker 1 Dez actually connected with Butter with temptations treats. I feel like the day.
That's how he connected with me too, by the way. Well, obviously.

Speaker 1 I feel like the day someone meets Daphne and she goes up to him willingly, that's my husband.

Speaker 1 Well, if he puts a temptations treat in his hand and they eat it off, it's like a sign of trust and it's beautiful. He kind of of hands the language butter into his arms.
A cat zaddy, if you like.

Speaker 1 A cat zaddie. Okay, I think it's a test for a guy.
If he gives your cat a temptation and the cat doesn't eat it, run. Run flag.
Run. Yeah.
Your cat can sense an energy that you can't sense yet. Yep.

Speaker 1 And these are the things that matters in a man. Really? I'm just looking for a cat dad to like pick up Daphne's like...
Litter.

Speaker 1 And I want him to like just pick up a cat toy for butter just like, not because it's her birthday, just because.

Speaker 1 Just because he saw it and thought Daphne would like that yeah yeah if you guys have have your very own cat daddy or cat zaddy we want to see them so dm us and show us a picture hashtag cat zaddy sighting and let's be real there's nothing more tempting than a man who tries to earn the affection of your cat i love it temptations is on a mission to make 2025 the year of the cat dad and i'm so for it i think it's gonna make it's gonna give guys more green flags so celebrate the irresistible power of cat dads with temptations and if you have your own cat zaddy at home, make sure you hashtag cat zaddy sighting on social so everyone can see them.

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Speaker 1 There's an all-new season of Secret Lives Lives of Mormon Wives now streaming on Hulu. Mom Talk might have started as a sisterhood, but these Latter-day Saints are no angels.

Speaker 1 This season, there's new secrets, lies, and truths coming out, and you won't want to miss all the drama.

Speaker 1 Watch the new season of the Hulu original, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundled subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is what I wanted to say about Mormon Housewives. Because we never talked about it.

Speaker 1 We like praised Hulu. We bucked nut Netflix.
And then we talked about my husband. Yeah, and then we pivoted.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's so good.

Speaker 1 It's such a good show because I feel like because they're so new to reality TV, so they literally just say every single thing. Which never happened.
New to reality TV can go two ways.

Speaker 1 It depends on the group. Well, the whole group hates each other now.
They've already, they've already ruined everything. It's already ruined everything.
Like money has already gotten involved. Egos.

Speaker 1 Like egos, who's bigger than who, who's bigger than you. But sometimes new reality TV people, because of the vibes, no one discloses everything because they're all like protecting themselves.

Speaker 1 But this one was kind of like, let's outdo each other, is what you feel. By the way, I've never watched a second of this.
Well, I think a lot of it has to do with being Mormon and being so,

Speaker 1 like, they're so, they're so, um,

Speaker 1 yeah, suppressed, but also, like, what is the word? Innocent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, innocent, where they're not, like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Utah, like, as a state is just so.

Speaker 1 do they have air conditioning i mean they definitely have air conditioning but i'm so fascinated by it like truly not like hating or anything i'm really so fascinated on how they like have like their culture they don't get influenced by anything else in america and it's like but how do you not see it every day because it's a cult No, it's a full-on cult.

Speaker 1 So I think part of like them getting attention is on like even a different scale because it's like I also I haven't watched it, but I love the idea that these women who in their society are considered less than

Speaker 1 are now like independently becoming wealthy. Well, they're, yes, they are.
They're definitely, they outearn all of their husbands for 100%. Some of their husbands stopped working, which I'm like,

Speaker 1 put them back to work. Like, I don't know if they're all dating each other, but someone needs to look into that.
But that's besides the point because I truly do love every single girl on the show.

Speaker 1 And I'm like genuinely rooting for all of them

Speaker 1 because they have certain scenes, like the one main girl, Taylor.

Speaker 1 I've never wavered on liking her or not. I've always loved her because her family sucks.
Her parents are some of the worst people I've ever listened to on reality TV. No, I'm not kidding.

Speaker 1 I love the girls, the older people. The way they spoke to this girl that her boyfriend, who she just had a baby with, cheated on her and lied pretty much the whole beginning of their relationship.

Speaker 1 They literally told her that she deserved it because she had sex with him after like three times of hanging out. And I'm I'm like,

Speaker 1 literally go to any, go to anywhere in this, in this country, literally in the country. Yeah.
Like, what are you talking about? I just felt so bad for her in that moment.

Speaker 1 And that's really honestly all my gripes. Taylor, Paul, Frankie, Taylor, Frankie, Paul.
It doesn't, yeah. Three first names.
She's just, she's just like an innocent. She doesn't know.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She literally doesn't know. Sorry.
She's like living her life and she's cute and she wanted to like dance around. And also she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend.
He wanted it too.

Speaker 1 Like it's not forcing forcing him. And like, he,

Speaker 1 that's the whole thing. Their whole like mindset on like what women are for.
And then the other one, there's another girl. Her name is Jen.
Her husband's got her in a whole fucking psychosis.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, she literally left the show because she couldn't. He's just.

Speaker 1 Well, what's interesting about what Hulu's able to do is like actually show the psychology of these relationships.

Speaker 1 I hate when reality TV, like, there's real shit going on, but they try to oversimplify it with like a really basic storyline. Yeah.
But it sounds like they're really

Speaker 1 delving into these people's lives. Daving into their lives.
Do you think this season's better than last season?

Speaker 1 Because that was word on the street. I think, no, I don't.
I think they're both like pretty equal. There's just a lot.
How's Whitney doing?

Speaker 1 She's a little bit out of the drama because she had like just had a baby and she needed to get on the bed. And they have like a new villain.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she's kind of like chilling. But like, nope.
Wonder they all become swingers. Like, and here's the other thing they say, though.

Speaker 1 They say that, like, they hooked up with someone, but they mean they like kissed. And so, I'm like, oh, come on, guys.

Speaker 1 You don't believe me?

Speaker 1 Was it butt? Was it finger? Was it armpit? You got to give me more details. Something.
Why did I look at the camera?

Speaker 1 And so, like, the fact that even them being swingers was like the death to their like families, they never even fucked each other's husbands.

Speaker 1 They've made out with them and like had sex with their own respective husband in the same bed. I'm like, big wall.
That's called high school. No, literally.
Wait, that's called losing your virginity.

Speaker 1 Who cares? That's called a Tuesday. Unless you had sex with that woman's husband, I don't care.
You did not even have sexual relations with that woman.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's just like, I feel bad for the women in general. I wonder if them seeing the feedback of the public now

Speaker 1 is making them question their entire like

Speaker 1 perspective on life. Yeah, because like what's the moment? This is like a macro thought.

Speaker 1 What's the moment that you go from like, oh, my mom is teaching me this and I'm trying to rebel to then I'm going to teach my daughter the same thing?

Speaker 1 You know, like, what's that? I mean, I guess that's generally breaking generational trauma. Yeah.
I also think, though, they're, they've been since the day they were born fed, like literally fed.

Speaker 1 Brainwashed scripture, whatever they call it, the story. So like you're brainwashed.
They're also some of the most judgmental women I've literally ever watched. They're made for reality.

Speaker 1 Like it's all about like religion. It's just it, yeah.
They're made for reality TV. Yes, but it is funny.
There's a lot of cults where like there's a reason why you're not allowed to use your phone.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to talk to your parents because those are all, as someone who's obsessed with cults, those are all outer world things that can change your mind about what you're being brainwashed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sorry, I just got brainwashed.
So you need to get those distractions out of the way so you don't question anything and then you just become Mormon. I mean, if there's.

Speaker 1 I'm never joining a religion that limits my drinks. And not even alcohol.
Like, I'm sorry, coffee. You can't have have a diet coke.
Fuck off. But they can do Adderall.
I mean,

Speaker 1 can they do betas?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they can do that. They do beta blockers.

Speaker 1 So they can.

Speaker 1 So they can do, like.

Speaker 1 I'm sure they're doing drugs too. There's only some Mormons.
My thing is they just like get around whatever the old school rules are, you know. Right.
It's just like. Can they do Ozempe?

Speaker 1 I'm sure.

Speaker 1 They're not like drug-tested.

Speaker 1 You can't do a morning coffee, but you can do

Speaker 1 a Xanax. They were also talking about this whole thing where like if you die and you were divorced, like you're

Speaker 1 still bound to your ex-husband for the rest of your life through to oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 We got real-world problems happening. Let's talk about the here and now.
When he dies,

Speaker 1 who was he? That's not my girlfriend. He crosses my desk.
We'll figure it out. But like right now.
How did the men who are dead have more power than women who are alive?

Speaker 1 Period.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Period. That is so.
Where did you hear that? I just made that up. Marilyn Monroe.
Oh. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 My new thing is quoting everything and saying Marilyn Monroe.

Speaker 1 I was doing it on the BurnerBone podcast. I said some quote and this is like, where's it from? And I go, Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe.
One of the two. I don't know who.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 can I have a mental health moment? Sure. Because then I have another thing I'm pissed off about.

Speaker 1 I had a really good day the other week. I don't want to brag, but you know, when you wake up and like, you have no intrusive thoughts.
Yep. The world feels a little lighter.
It's a slow morning.

Speaker 1 It's a slow morning. You know what happiness is? It's not when something good happens to you.
Honestly, that is normally followed by a lot of stress.

Speaker 1 It's more when like things are quiet, yeah, no one's

Speaker 1 bothering you, no one's looking for you. You, you're more like in the moment, you're like, Should we have a bagel? Like, that's that's I love that is what happiness is, and you don't realize it.

Speaker 1 That's what I feel when I like candles. I'm like, and this moment is just even better.

Speaker 1 I feel like our whole life we're trying to be successful, and then you become successful, and then you're like, How are you supposed to enjoy the little things?

Speaker 1 No, sometimes I'm like, Will I ever feel happiness?

Speaker 1 I love you so much, it's so relatable.

Speaker 1 Really? Literally today. I was like, also, don't you sometimes get nervous that, like, we've done so much stuff so quickly that it's like, we should retire.
Will we ever have this?

Speaker 1 Will I ever have the same dopamine hit while you're playing charades with Patrick Schwarzenegger, John Hamm, Jimmy Fallon, and my best friend? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 You've never moved on from the one time I told you about Justin Bieber and how he burnt all his dopamine because he had too many big shows. You've never forgotten it.
And look at him now.

Speaker 1 Okay? And for good reason, I never forgot it because look at him now.

Speaker 1 If you're going through a hard time, just know that at least you're not burning out all your dopamine and there's good things to come. But the truth is, yeah, happiness is you being able to exist.

Speaker 1 People have kids.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Well, as someone who gave birth last week,

Speaker 1 I get that

Speaker 1 you get

Speaker 1 a fulfillment that's different than any like. like

Speaker 1 I get where you get to a point where you're like, My life is

Speaker 1 fun, but like, I need something else. Like, I need like another, like, I'm kind of, I like, I've done what I wanted to do almost kind of thing, where like it's not at the forefront.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't, it's also because your brain is so used to chasing, or like, you want to be proud of yourself when I actually do something that I'm proud of, your brain still doesn't know that you should chill out.

Speaker 1 So then it's like, okay, what, what else we're doing? We're bad for each other because we're both so like, okay, but we did that. Well, what's the next thing? What's the next thing?

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 we both are very supportive. That's so.
And I say, I'm proud of you, even though I know you worked way too hard on it. You didn't have to do that kind of thing.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 What was your mental health? Oh, my mental health went. I had a really good day.
And I don't know why. And it was just being, you were present.
I was present. That was it.
I was present.

Speaker 1 I was talking to my husband. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I asked my husband a question.

Speaker 1 I asked him a question. I listened to his response.
I said something back. I was just in the moment.
I wasn't lost in my thoughts. And I said, what a beautiful day.
And like, what'd you do that day?

Speaker 1 I think I like, I played some tennis. Yeah.
And then I just like relaxed. I like wanted to socialize a little bit.
Like, I think like someone came over. You were really having a good day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we watched a Knicks game and I wasn't like on edge. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I'm healed from whatever illness I have. Go to bed that night.

Speaker 1 Get assaulted by my dreams. See, can't we just have a dinner? I said, said

Speaker 1 my subconscious was like, oh, you shut me up all day? Bitch, I'm coming for you. I literally had a right.
I woke up and I was like,

Speaker 1 okay, I had a dream that my, I was shooting my next comedy special. Yep.

Speaker 1 And I changed my outfit after the first show. Okay.
And they were like, you can't change your outfit. It has to be the same outfit for the two shows.

Speaker 1 And I was like, well, I don't have my other outfit. And everything was ruined.
Hold on. You had a fashion room?

Speaker 1 It was actually more of a,

Speaker 1 because I think I went to Des special taping. It was more of a special taping.
This special taping

Speaker 1 ruined

Speaker 1 shook me. Oh, yeah.
And then they changed my makeup and they're like, you can't change the makeup. And I was like, weak, like, we're fucking up this whole day.

Speaker 1 And then I had to go to a tennis tournament. We're triggered.
Everyone's, this is a dark shade. Oh my God.
And I was supposed to play and they were like, you were supposed to check in on your phone.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I didn't know where the check-in was. Like, how I forgot to click on.
I'm surprised you didn't have sleep paralysis. I think I did.

Speaker 1 They were like, you got an email. And I was like, I never saw the email.
I wake up and I was like, this is what I get

Speaker 1 for shutting my mind up for one day. So, like, what am I supposed to do? You know, that's interesting because I fell asleep the other day for like 15 minutes nap, like in the middle of the day.

Speaker 1 It was like 4 p.m. I had like a, I had like a five o'clock call.
I was like, I'm literally shutting my eyes. Yeah.
I woke up in a TZ

Speaker 1 as if it was that previous morning and I never got up and did the whole whole day.

Speaker 1 But I was like, oh my God. Have you ever lived? I literally texted my mom.
I was like, I worked so much that I woke up in the nap and I was like, I'm not that I miss the whole day.

Speaker 1 She was like, have you ever had a dream of everything you have to do the next day and you do it and then you wake up and realize you haven't done any of it yet?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I used to have those in high school all the time.

Speaker 1 I used to have that with tennis where I'd play, I'd know I have to play a girl and I was really nervous about that specific girl, play the entire match against her in my sleep, wake up and go, Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so any sleep.

Speaker 1 Wait, I would say that if I was on a team and like during practice. What would you say? I actually had a dream about this last night and I did it in the dream so I don't have to do it today.

Speaker 1 Wait, so what are the rules about dream winning?

Speaker 1 So anyway, we're working on our mental health.

Speaker 1 Okay, my gripe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gripe me, bitch.

Speaker 1 The amount of horror movies.

Speaker 1 Available to watch on streaming, it's enough. Who's watching them back to back? It's too much.
For every drama, I don't need seven horror movies being made.

Speaker 1 I feel like horror movies are like really easy to make. Well, they say that they're really cheap and that they don't get like accolades.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they just find a haunted house that no one wants to film in. Yeah, during like award season, like horror films are like never whatever.
Yeah. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 yeah, because they suck. Yeah.
I hate horror movies. I don't, I just.
Because we already have adrenaline. That's what it is.
I also,

Speaker 1 the beginning of a horror movie is the nicest, sweetest shit you'll ever see. Like, you know, the first conversation, it's always like the best day ever.
And they're like, I love you, mom.

Speaker 1 I hope nothing bad ever happens to us. And you're like, oh my God, just get to it.
Get to the like

Speaker 1 horror movie I saw was like Saw. And it was like in high school.
I saw Final Destination 3 and I... That was my Final Destination.

Speaker 1 How come in high school, like, every time you would hang out with a guy, it would be a horror movie that

Speaker 1 why does that make guys horny? I don't know.

Speaker 1 we should look into that we should look into that is it because they want to be tough they're like yeah i'll protect you if you get nervous and they try to kiss you does violence turn them on

Speaker 1 and and should that person kidnapping yeah murder kidnapping women yelling yeah out of fear i think we should look into that chris did you ever take a girl on a date to a horror movie

Speaker 1 why who told you that joe rogan somewhere in between those two yeah i think it's like oh she's gonna get scared you're gonna like grab her hand a guy took me on a date to see the movie The Happening.

Speaker 1 And it was supposed to be like a scary movie where everyone dies. Amy Pohler and Paul Redd just talked about this when Paul was on Amy's podcast about movie theaters.

Speaker 1 When's the last time you went to the movie theater? So I want to see sinners at the movie theater, but again, we're not a couple that does a horror movie. I know it's not a horror movie.

Speaker 1 Oh, what a movie for God. At a time.
Time like this. You're saying people who go see horror movies?

Speaker 1 Any type of horror movie, if you're leaving the home to see it, diabolical. If you're watching it in the home, like, because that's your genre.
I'm also traumatized.

Speaker 1 When I was at a tennis academy when I was 14, I was like, it was me and this one other girl and all these boys.

Speaker 1 And our night out was going to the mall in Florida because it's all they have to do in Florida. And they'd make us see a horror movie.
And the guys would yell at the wrong times to scare me.

Speaker 1 And that's why I have high-functioning anxiety. I don't like being scared.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like I like a prank. I love a prank.
I think that's fun.

Speaker 1 But like if you're hiding and then you're going to scare me, you're stupid. No, it's slow brow.
It's

Speaker 1 so lowbrow.

Speaker 1 I close my eyes.

Speaker 1 I don't care. I close my eyes.
I close my ears. I don't care that I'm 33.
I'm doing that. I'm close my eyes and close my ears and I'm going, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm hit.

Speaker 1 I'm throwing bows. You're hitting people in the movie theater.

Speaker 1 It becomes down to it if I have to.

Speaker 1 Are you one of those people when something scary happens? You go, ah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 No, I'm close. Also, if there's any violence, I close my eyes.
Why would I succumb to it? That's how I feel. Like, I can't watch some like mafia movies.

Speaker 1 Like, when they get beat up, I'm just like, oh, God. No, I know.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you already hit him three times. Why do you have to hit him again?

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.
Like, I had to close my eyes, I feel like, through a lot of the sopranos. Yeah.
I was just like, I can't. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, let's talk about my egg freezing for a quick second because I feel like people don't talk about this part of it.

Speaker 1 You gain weight when you're doing it, obviously, because your ovaries like literally

Speaker 1 get bigger. So I gained like seven pounds of

Speaker 1 just like bloat and water. Of ovary.

Speaker 1 Those ovaries are fat. Yeah.
I mean, it may have been snacking

Speaker 1 for the baby. While it was happening.
You go, I'm eating. I'm for two.

Speaker 1 I'm plumping up my ovaries. You wouldn't get it.

Speaker 1 I love saying I'm eating for two. But like, I knew

Speaker 1 like that weight is like going to go away, like in the like certain like two weeks, like my body literally, like the hormones have to like dissipate and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 So, like, I wasn't like that stressed about it that I had like gained seven pounds. But I definitely was like, oh shit, like, I gained seven pounds.
Did he tell you?

Speaker 1 Did the doctor tell you to weigh yourself?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. But they tell me because you don't have to weigh yourself.
No one advises that. I would have, but I wanted to know like how much you're fluctuating.
Yeah, it was gonna like make me gain.

Speaker 1 So I

Speaker 1 after

Speaker 1 I just have this thought where I was like, okay, I know it's the weights going away. And I know like I don't really have to do that much because it's just like water weight.

Speaker 1 After you have a baby, as someone speaking with experience.

Speaker 1 No, here's the thing. In that moment that I was like, but I felt gross.
I was like, okay, I can't like put makeup on. Like, I just feel disgusting.
This is not my body.

Speaker 1 Like, I just, you do feel like a little odd because, like, then your hormones are going crazy.

Speaker 1 Once you give birth and you are in the state that you are in, like, this baby's just come out of you, your stomach's still huge because it doesn't go away over. You're a vehicle

Speaker 1 for a living, your vagina's just destroyed. Like, you're six weeks till anything even can see down there.
But it sucks back in. It sucks.
Totally.

Speaker 1 Right. That's what the sound it makes.
I can imagine that in that moment,

Speaker 1 you know if you married the right person or not.

Speaker 1 Mic drop. Because I had a moment where I was like coming off of it.
My hormones were crazy. I didn't.
I felt disgusting. I just like everything was annoying me.
So I'm so interested.

Speaker 1 Like after you have a baby, how many women? Now, obviously, it's not like overnight, like, oh, I married this person. I love him.
And then when I had a baby, I hated him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I wonder how many people have the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy.

Speaker 1 And then right when they had a baby, it was like, this is definitely not the right guy. It's literally post-baby clarity.
Yeah. Yeah, because you were post-baby clarity.

Speaker 1 You're at like your most vulnerable form of like, I my body just went through trauma. Yep.
I need someone that loved me for me because I don't look the way I know myself to look. Take care of me.

Speaker 1 And no, well, that's why I think when people say, oh, we were struggling, so we want to have a baby to bond us closer. It apparently like makes it worse.

Speaker 1 But if your relationship's strong, it makes it stronger. But babies will expose the fuck out of it.
No, like, I want my husband to know exactly what

Speaker 1 one got me pregnant. You know, like I want I wanted to be loving.
I want it to be like... Not to bring up your husband.
My husband again.

Speaker 1 But I got fired this weekend. From your marriage?

Speaker 1 He fired me because, oh, he does this thing where like, you ever like...

Speaker 1 Well, wait. Before we get into it, you two are both type B.

Speaker 1 Very type B. Thank you for setting that up.
Yeah. Let me set the stage.
I was watching TV in my zone, in my nook. You know, when you have a part of of the couch, you're in your nook.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Don't bother me. Yeah.
He, you lay on a weird axis. Yes.
Yeah. I'm, but I'm like laid out.
Like it's a bed. Yeah, of course.
It's a long part of the couch.

Speaker 1 Well, if you get a couch and you're not treating it like a second bed, like people that just sit on their couch. No.

Speaker 1 People who sit up, people who watch TV leaning forward. You know, like sometimes I'll see Instagram stories and I'm like, how are you working with that couch? What are you resting on?

Speaker 1 You're doing all the Sunday with that couch. The fancy ass couches.
You know, yeah, you're not like, you're not napping accidentally.

Speaker 1 I want to fall asleep the second i hit that couch yeah so does i sense movement from him which is irritating never good i said something he's had a thought exactly so he we've we've been trying to add this like end of this couch for a while fixed end of the couch we've had weeks to do this suddenly he's excited and feels energy to do it and that's great for him i didn't consent to it no i wasn't mentally prepared no but he's trying to be like strong and do it on his own but like he's grunting and he's like figuring it out so then i'm like okay, well, he's very mad at me about the special.

Speaker 1 So maybe I should. Should I lend a hand? So then I do the nice,

Speaker 1 you need help. And he goes, actually.
And I was like, oh no.

Speaker 1 Oh no. So I got into that one.
And he's already like knows the ins and outs of this. And I dive in and like, I'm not doing that great of a job.
And honestly, I had a little attitude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, and also, you didn't care. Also, I didn't want to be there.
Also, I never got hired officially. You're like, also, I want to go home.

Speaker 1 So he was like, no, you got to change your idea. And I go, go, I don't, and I, like, I was like being mature and I walked off.

Speaker 1 I had to walk off.

Speaker 1 It's so chic. And then I come back and I go, because I, we do this weird thing in our relationship, which I say sorry sometimes, which I don't recommend.
Oh my God. But I, so I said, babe,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I don't know who that just was.

Speaker 1 I'm back with you.

Speaker 1 Let's do this couch.

Speaker 1 It's us versus the couch. Us versus the couch.
This couch doesn't know what's going to hit it. Babe, it's me and you versus the world.
This couch has never met the bishops.

Speaker 1 The bishop burners.

Speaker 1 So I,

Speaker 1 two minutes in,

Speaker 1 I'm mad again. I'm mad again.
Like, I retract that statement.

Speaker 1 This couch is fucked. I had that moment where, you know, it's bad when you have to check your flow app.
And I go, when am I getting my period? Because I'm starting to feel a little.

Speaker 1 And when are you going?

Speaker 1 It was four days away. And I go.
Actually,

Speaker 1 I take back my apology. I come back in the room and I say, actually, I'm MPMSing.
It wasn't me either. Actually, one more thing about the couch.

Speaker 1 So here's what's happening. And that's why.
What's wrong with the couch? How does a couch break?

Speaker 1 It didn't break, but it was one of those couches that you could connect and expand it. And we had like kind of.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to like click the thing.
And like, honestly, not my thing. Not where I throw it.
So like, oh, I must have forgot when I went to engineering school. I am a creative.

Speaker 1 I didn't play with Legos. I was drawing.
I was doing murals. I was sculpting.
Yeah. So anyway,

Speaker 1 I survived to tell the tale, but it was funny. Okay, question.

Speaker 1 Because it's interesting that you both are type B, but you don't get like annoyed with each other because it's like. I think that's the key.
If one of us was type A,

Speaker 1 we'd have,

Speaker 1 but we'd also, I think it would work if I was with a type A guy, as long as he didn't get annoyed. Like, he liked cleaning.
No.

Speaker 1 Which our moms do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but for us. For us.
But like, I've had guys where, like, they're like, oh, this is just how I, I'm my busy time and I like to clean.

Speaker 1 And like, you're a yapper, like, in general, but then you have quiet time. Is Dez a yapper? No, no.
So, we will be quiet together.

Speaker 1 Yapping and him being.

Speaker 1 No, I'm quiet. He's quiet.
She goes, You don't speak.

Speaker 1 No, we're very. I'm trying this new thing where we're living apart.
I go, but we're not talking.

Speaker 1 And it's working great. No, our thing is, we're so.

Speaker 1 I'm like, don't have a baby. You will at yours.

Speaker 1 No, but we're very like,

Speaker 1 some days are less talkative. And that's marriage.
And I'm thankful for that. Like today, I used to early on.
I'd be like, are we

Speaker 1 something you told me about marriage? Me over here not married. You told me something about marriage.
And I think about it all the time. And every time I meet someone or I'm hanging out with someone,

Speaker 1 I think about like.

Speaker 1 It's not the fun stuff. It's not the cool stuff.
It's not the vacations. It's not the, like, what are we doing this weekend? Where are we going to dinner?

Speaker 1 It's literally waking up in the morning, both being home that day. And how does it, are you? How do you navigate? How do you navigate the day-to-day boring show? Do you think you're cohesive together?

Speaker 1 Do you think the same things are funny? Are you going to take a break and like make out and like be cute?

Speaker 1 And so I think about it. all the time.
Well, especially when all you see is social media being like, that couple's fun.

Speaker 1 When it's like, yeah, but day to day, the reason people break up is not because like of normally a big thing. It's normally just like the day to day isn't working.

Speaker 1 It's the idea of when you leave that person, do you feel energized or do you feel like your life is sucked away? And doesn't I get a break? All we do is laugh, but like we have to be on so much.

Speaker 1 So it's a lot of like, we get back. It's literally like me and you.
Like he's going to come home from a podcast too. He's going to see me.
He's going to be like, what are we ordering?

Speaker 1 What are we watching? What more do we need to talk about? No, a dream. But then when the gossip comes, the hard part about marriage is, look, I ran out of material.

Speaker 1 I ran out of stories. And he will call me out.
He'll be like, you told me this three times. And I said, let me have a moment.

Speaker 1 Let me live in this performance. I've added some new adjectives and I've spicy.
I'm nervous that I'm going to get married and we're going to run out of gossip because we were going to. You don't?

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Because you have friends doing stupid shit around you.
Okay, thank God. Yes.

Speaker 1 But...

Speaker 1 We were talking, Des and I, about how we don't have like married friends. We've We've a lot of like, I've lost single friends.
He has a lot of friends with like full families.

Speaker 1 So it's kind of like us on our own.

Speaker 1 You don't have like a couple that you're like, let's call the

Speaker 1 shit. We should.
And we talk about it a lot. Like, we're like, let's double date.
Let's double date. This is fascinating because it's a very particular couple.

Speaker 1 Now, I do have to say going to dinner with you. We talked about it on burner phone.
Don't you feel like if you're

Speaker 1 the girls have to decide, like a hunt. Two men can't be like, let's bring our girlfriends.
Like, I don't trust that. No, that's like sex trafficking.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm actually terrified of that. Men will be friends with anything.
No, if any man texted me and said, we're going to dinner, like, me and Jim fucking set it up, I'd be like,

Speaker 1 their gun in the battery because it's not sounding safe. It's not going to be a lot of fun.
Men will also bummed over anything.

Speaker 1 Like, they'll be like, they'll throw something in the garbage and then he'll throw something in the garbage. And be like, you, like, throwing stuff in the garbage.

Speaker 1 And I'll be like, do you you want to be my best friend for eight years? Yeah, where girls, it's not like that.

Speaker 1 So, the girls will say that sometimes, though, girls can meet like their long-lost best friend through like being someone's girlfriend. And look, even a blind squirrel finds a nut, right?

Speaker 1 And that's, and I'm happy for they're the exception, not the rule.

Speaker 1 Yes, like, usually, it's like, okay, yes, yes, but the double date, the fun part, yeah, is the gossip after you leave, and then you judge, and you go,

Speaker 1 they hate each other. Julie said, or they love each other, your, like, your core couple that you guys go to dinner with is a lesbian couple.

Speaker 1 That's so funny you said that because that's absolutely what we do. Lesbians love Des.
Lesbians are weirdly attracted to Des because he has blue eyes. You know, blue-eyed guys are like kind of pretty.

Speaker 1 They're very pretty. Yeah, they love Des.

Speaker 1 And then, because

Speaker 1 he's giving straight Anderson Cooper. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then they love me and I love them. We love that.
We love the Taylors.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we love lesbians. We love lesbians.
I don't know enough, honestly. I don't actually have enough lesbians in my life.
Well, look, you have all the gay men and I have the lesbian women.

Speaker 1 And you know what? Together, they hate each other.

Speaker 1 I do love that rivalry. Like, what is it that the gays and the lesbians are like?

Speaker 1 Because lesbians want nothing to do with men. We love speaking in huge generations.
And we love talking about things I've never experienced, like marriage, babies, giving birth, having a husband.

Speaker 1 Scissoring. Yay.

Speaker 1 I love it.

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Speaker 1 i wanted to call you out on something okay in the last newsletter which is real it's not a bit yeah

Speaker 1 you put down jelly flats what of it is that for reals yeah for real like for reals and miss croc

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 no no

Speaker 1 i'm allowed to do crocs that's on brand that's my thing okay jelly sandals

Speaker 1 here's the thing hannah

Speaker 1 i love a trend. Like, I'm going to try it.
And if a major designer makes a jelly sandal, I'm finding the freaking dupe and I'm buying it. Who did it?

Speaker 1 I forgot.

Speaker 1 Say it with your chest next time. I literally, I forgot.
I believed you, though. Someone's going to be a little bit more.
Wait, so it's a trend. Chloe, maybe? Okay, it's a trend.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, it's giving ballet flat and it's giving. It's giving ballet flat.
It's also like it's giving you step in one puddle. You're

Speaker 1 it's not a trend that's staying. It's not a timeless class.
what color are you doing

Speaker 1 i like i don't think that those are designer brand purchases those are amazon purchases like a ballet flat is also a trend but that's actually a timeless shoe so like if you're spending on a ballet flat i would say that more than that jelly flat jelly flat is fun to say 100

Speaker 1 and it also is a good conversation starter also it is giving limited to a nostalgia yeah we do you remember those sand sandals that were like marshmallow

Speaker 1 do you remember the ones that were like like literally a cloud?

Speaker 1 Sandals that were marshmallow. They were like this thick.
And like candies made them. Yes, and then they would rip and then you'd have to put a band-aid over it.
Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Now you've lost me.

Speaker 1 Was it a flip-flop?

Speaker 1 But around your toe, like the thong where your toe went, it was like terry cloth?

Speaker 1 Maybe. They were like massive platforms.
Yes. Yes.
But like fluffy. Like a.

Speaker 1 I need to Google a picture now. I think I know what you mean, but also I don't know if I know what you mean.
I didn't find it, but like it looked like this. Do you remember those?

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, but like from like not that long ago. Like from when I was in like seventh grade.
Oh, no, I don't remember them then then. I also think that like Gen Z's,

Speaker 1 I have to commend them, but I'm also kind of angry at them that like they've made pimples cool.

Speaker 1 Like they put this it's almost like if you don't have a star on your face, you're like a loser. Well, there's so much more like skin

Speaker 1 yeah focus like we didn't have we weren't like doing things you know what we were good for you know what we were doing like i just started using an eye cream like what we did proactive

Speaker 1 yeah i actually i actually i did proactive and i had then you'd put like you'd cover your pimples up with like the i had yeah the seven step routine or whatever and their commercials were so long and it was like the first time it was like you saw a dermatologist you were like what is a dermatologist no i had and it was and it was two women

Speaker 1 it was fucking two dermatominal stems so yeah we had to use proactive back in the day and there was definitely one that i was like that's ciphering off my skin it was also like if you had acne back then it was like

Speaker 1 go home

Speaker 1 but like you're a teenager you're supposed to

Speaker 1 of the house the reason why i'm not good with skincare right now is because I don't care how good something is. If it smells funny, I don't want to wear it.

Speaker 1 You also have like a sensory thing.

Speaker 1 Are you saying I have problems? No, I'm saying,

Speaker 1 you don't like, like, you're not putting, you don't like a lot of makeup on. So, like, I feel it.
So, like, skincare is sticky and it's oily and it's greasy and your hair sticks out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that is like, and you love that. That's my dream.
I'm like, I want to go to bed looking

Speaker 1 wet, you know? Yeah. This thing, if it smells nice, I like it.
But this one dermatologist was like, this, you know, it's going to change.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And I bought it. Yeah.
Too expensive. I got upset.
Beolig.

Speaker 1 Bless you.

Speaker 1 I go, did you just say a slur at me?

Speaker 1 Like, you can't call French people.

Speaker 1 No, it was this, I forget what it was, but she was like, this is what you need. It'll solve literally all your problems, A to Z.
And I said, great, I'm committed.

Speaker 1 And she's like, promise you you're committed. Yeah.
First time I put it on, I said, said, I don't like this smell. See, can't put it on.
I love that because I'm like,

Speaker 1 it's working. There's something.
If it's burning, I'm like, it's just working really good.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's overperforming. They're like, actually, if it burns, it's not good.
I don't like those lip things that tingle. I can't focus on conversation when my lips are tingling.
Yeah, see, I love that.

Speaker 1 And then I think everyone's looking at my lips tingle. Yeah.
And it's distracting everything. How do you function when your lips are tingling? I just love it.
You love it.

Speaker 1 I love anything beauty related. I'm very vain.
Yeah. Anything that I feel like is gonna make me look better.
I'm like, I don't care if it hurts, smells, or kills me. I'm trying it.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't talk to the internet and I don't get involved in gossip. However,

Speaker 1 there was a post. We're only talking, you're only speaking on our podcast that we've had for the last five years.

Speaker 1 There was a post that came up on my feed because they know I care about you, but it was like saying what work you might have had done.

Speaker 1 I know, Paige, no, I was this close to commenting. They didn't like confirm anything, but they were obviously not.

Speaker 1 They were trying to matrif you, and they were like, Wait, what did they say?

Speaker 1 It was a photo of you from like a while ago, okay, and a photo of you now.

Speaker 1 And like, your eyebrows are like slightly different, and you're you're like, we're in a little, but it's funny, two photos of me next to each other. I feel like

Speaker 1 I did see this, and I know that photo haunts me literally. It was like I went to SiriusXM like one day, my first summer of summer happened.
By the way, sometimes you do press.

Speaker 1 No, you don't know there's a, you don't know there's a Getty photographer there. I was also like, where did you find this picture on the internet? Yeah.
That's a crazy picture.

Speaker 1 I was also 25 and when I was smiling, my lips, it did look like my lips were thinner. And in the picture next to it, I was like, that's a photoshopped like picture from someone.

Speaker 1 Also, you had like full glam. But it is fun.
There was a moment I almost. I almost got in the comments.
I never do that.

Speaker 1 Well, because someone was like, you know, Giggly Swed, they stopped talking about getting work down. They probably started to get work done.

Speaker 1 You guys know this. That bitch.
Who was that? I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 But I do have to say, forever vain you are,

Speaker 1 you haven't gotten a facelift yet. And you know Chris Jenner's been looking good.

Speaker 1 No, that, what is that facelift?

Speaker 1 I'm getting that.

Speaker 1 Tell that lady in the comments. Slow.
Wait, 10 years. I did say

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 1 To put my face in a photo of me from the morning and the night.

Speaker 1 It looks like I got plastic surgery i'm gonna tell you something the only i'm not not getting plastic surgery because i'm like i want to be better than people i'm like this is like the stance i'm taking yeah not at all i would love to inject myself with some yeah

Speaker 1 My thing is I'm too scared about doing the research of who I should go to because I genuinely don't trust anyone. I've gone to some of the best dermatologists ever.

Speaker 1 I've gone to some of the best doctors. And guess what? They've all like fucked up certain things because they're all humans.
And it's just one thing I'm not

Speaker 1 going to gamble on yet. Do you know who you can trust?

Speaker 1 God. Yep.
And God made you perfectly. Imagine if you're not going to be able to do that makes no mistakes.
Turned into like a religious podcast. A faith-based podcast.
And that is why.

Speaker 1 Like one day we were just like, actually. And that is how the cookie chrome.
In 1113,

Speaker 1 Mesediat said,

Speaker 1 go across the water and get the fish.

Speaker 1 And when you question, how do I get that fish? You get that fish. Because that's what Mesodiet is.
I'm not southern, though.

Speaker 1 We could have been religious without being southern. I don't think it goes that way.

Speaker 1 I think you go full Joel Osteen.

Speaker 1 If you're quoting scripture, you better have a twang. Can I say something controversial? You know, I never want to out a man.
Joel Osteen's gay. Well, I don't think I'm out.

Speaker 1 I think anyone with general common sense and two two eyeballs. Unless you're doing stand-up, which still could be gay.

Speaker 1 If you're a man that wants to get on stage and perform to that extent, Joel Olstein. No.

Speaker 1 Comedy is the only time it's exclusive. The only time.
Because I'm also laughing. Yes.
If you're a man getting up anywhere on a platform,

Speaker 1 you may not even have a microphone in your hand and you're speaking to the people about anything.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. And you, like, I understand presidents are men, which, you know, that's an issue.
But last time, a woman wrote the speech, you know, they're just writing everything.

Speaker 1 Every speech is also like, what are people here for?

Speaker 1 What are you guys all here for? That's why we love Chris. Chris is sitting, listening to us.

Speaker 1 His only job is to sit there and listen to us. And he laughs.
And he laughs. And he learns and he grows.
And he learns. And most importantly, and he learns.
And as Marilyn Monroe would say,

Speaker 1 live, learn, grow.

Speaker 1 One final thing. By the way, I did a photo shoot with Glamour.
A la Page of Sorbonne. You looked gorge.
Thank you. Where was that? It was like in a hotel.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I ended up in the bathroom as I do. We were like trying.
I was like, guys, we're going to the bathroom. That's your brand.
But they're funny. They're like, let's not do the toilet stuff.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay, I respect that. I respect this.
I respect your brand.

Speaker 1 The quote, there is nothing more humbling than a brand telling you that your brand is like too crass. They're like, maybe if you could not, I'm like, oh,

Speaker 1 you don't like the way my mother wears me. I was wearing Chloe and Tabitha, my size, was looking at me and I was looking at the toilet and she's like, don't do this.
Don't do this to us.

Speaker 1 She goes, we've been doing so well. We've been doing so well and the fashion community is starting to take notice.
And you're like, what if I just. Well, I was actually, oh, I wore Michael Kors too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Haven't heard from him yet.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But like, it was such a great article. written by Stephanie McNeil.
Shout out.

Speaker 1 One of the quotes that was pulled, I was reading it and I was like, Hannah, you made zero sense in that quote.

Speaker 1 It basically was like, just make sure that you're being you, and you will always know that you can be you. If you're question who you is, then you is you.
Put it on a shirt. Man, mine road.

Speaker 1 You know, every time you read yourself in an article, you're like, no, that doesn't make sense. Yeah, I can't.
Well, you can't read anymore. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Any updates?

Speaker 1 We had

Speaker 1 special merch that we were selling on tour that was only on the road. You could only get it when you went to a club giggly show.

Speaker 1 We've now realized we want to make it available for the public because the tour is over and we loved it. So we're adding

Speaker 1 some inventory and it's now available at gigglysquad.com. Also, not to add to the chaos.
I don't know why I was going to say, or wherever you get your giggly squad merch.

Speaker 1 And it's like, that's literally one place.

Speaker 1 People sell a lot of squads. Or wherever you get your podcast.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm announcing my tour is going on sale. Wait.
I'm going on tour. Can we talk about your fucking tour poster?

Speaker 1 I haven't even officially dropped it yet. Well, I accidentally DM'd someone else because I thought I was DMing you.
Someone posted your tour. Oh, yeah.
Some of the venues are like promoting it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh my God, stunning. And then I realized that it was just like, I was like, sorry.

Speaker 1 They're like, wow, she's really hyping your friend up to like other other people. She goes, wait, how good looking does my friend look in this photo? They literally thought I was damning.

Speaker 1 That was the first, well, I kind of, yeah, it's the first time I did that. I've done like a full promo for a tour.
I love it. I had the extensions, did the suit.
The extensions are, you're different.

Speaker 1 It's called the None of My Business Tour. I love it.
It's definitely more personal. I talk about how I came to be.
And

Speaker 1 yeah, it's every city, pretty much. Ever.
Crazy. Are you laughing? I didn't know what the pitch was.

Speaker 1 How I, the city. Every city that exists.

Speaker 1 Every city ever that ever was made anyone's ever been to yeah including i'm going to nebraska for the first time i thought you were going to say alaska and i was like i actually think that's one you can sit out like are you kidding they don't even have flight with new york in the state that it's in we can't we love you guys oh lastly

Speaker 1 Our YouTube episode just dropped when we went. It was one of my favorite episodes.
Yeah. We went to, we learned how to play baseball.
I was very into you as a player making it big.

Speaker 1 You weren't into it. But you love your outfit.

Speaker 1 I love my outfit. So I had a great time.
And you could do hick kit and heels at anything if you believe in Maryland Monroe. Last thing.

Speaker 1 We should start off the pod going last thing. Last thing.
This is actually the last thing. You know how I went and spoke at my college and then it closed? Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm going to speak at my high school tomorrow. So let's just say a prayer that doesn't close after.
St. Anthony, St.
Anthony. Wait, I'm so excited for you.
I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 They're doing their like seniors get like inducted into the alumni. And so this one senior reached out and asked me if I would be your sponsor.

Speaker 1 And so I made like these little like PR gifting boxes to give like four of the girls that I meet. It's so cute.
Wait, you're so cute. Also, tell the Gen Z to say hi.

Speaker 1 I also haven't been back to my high school since the day I grew up. Wait, you're going to get a weird feeling.
What I remember is it's so much smaller than you remember it.

Speaker 1 Not that they were that much taller than we are, but like

Speaker 1 the school felt like huge. It's like when you walk into a kindergarten class you're like this is my cubby

Speaker 1 like why does this door so low

Speaker 1 the toilets are the tenant principal i'm like you're so short

Speaker 1 no it's gonna be so much fun um i hope that the school doesn't get canceled thanks for giggling with us we love you so much bye

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