Giggling about chaos goblins, jelly sandals, and double dates

This episode is sponsored by Cars.com.

I'm an expert shopper like a black belt, but car shopping is a whole different story.

That's where Cars.com comes in handy.

Cars.com has over 2 million cars to choose from, with up to 50,000 new ones added every day.

So yes, the options are basically endless.

Whether you're suddenly in your cat talent manager era or entering your no pants and need heated seats era, there's a car for that on cars.com.

Personally, I'm feeling a chic works from anywhere kind of vibe, and guess what?

I found three cars for that exact aesthetic on cars.com.

Find your next possibility on cars.com.

Where to next?

If there's one thing Abercrombie knows, it's denim.

They know how it should feel, how it should look, and all of their staple denim fits are always ahead of the trend.

Abercrombie's viral curve love denim fit has additional room through the hip and thigh to eliminate any waist gap, and the classic fit you know and love with a straighter line from waist to hip.

This is the way denim should feel: confident, easy, and like your butt has never looked better.

Shop Abercrombie denim in the app online and in store.

Sup, gigglers.

Harriet, fix your Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my Gretchen Wiener gigglers?

That's a really good one.

I just looked down.

What the fuck is going on with your nails?

You subconsciously hid them.

Okay.

You know I'm going through a rough time.

Are you?

No.

Are you not?

Okay, look.

You know when you're up late and it's like 1 a.m.

And you're like, I'm going to stay up.

This is pick.

I'm going to stay up till like 1.30.

Yeah.

And then you're like, what's until 2?

And the next thing you know, it's 5 a.m.

You're like, why don't I just get an early start on the morning?

Yeah.

You're like, shanty to some emails.

No, I do that all the time.

And then I fall asleep at like 6 a.m.

till 10 a.m.

Late is late.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's what happened with my nails.

They started to grow out.

And then I was like, well, they're grown out.

And then I was like, okay, they're still grown.

Look, my nails, can we get close up if you guys are watching on YouTube?

Yeah, because it's just, I was like, at first I go, she got tips.

And then I was like, oh, she made her own.

She's a homewinker.

DIY.

Now I'm embarrassed for my nail girl to see it.

Jacqueline's going to be like.

Jacqueline.

No, but you know what?

Jacqueline doesn't judge me.

No, she Jacqueline loves me for me.

And that's why I love Jacqueline.

And Jacqueline doesn't like talking to me, which is why I love Jacqueline.

No, me and Jacqueline watch shows.

Yeah.

Jacqueline's like, you watch a show without me?

She's like, we're on episode four, babe.

Jacqueline will giggle while the show is.

What?

Wait, we haven't seen each other in person for like two weeks.

So we're like, speaking of shows, let me just get into it real quick.

Yes, get into the shows.

I always want to say Real Housewives, but no.

What is it?

Secret Lives of Mormon Wise.

Not so secret, by the way.

It is.

First of all, Hulu is just fucking crushing it.

Like, shout out Hulu.

No, truly shout out Hulu because I feel like anytime I'm like, I just need like a good TV show and I'm like a sitcom-y girl.

Hulu is really giving me

episodic.

Episodes.

Layers and layers and seasons.

You also know what?

I am going to compliment Hulu on that.

I'm watching like a random detective show.

Episodes, episodes, episodes, storylines.

Sorry, Netflix.

I don't want four episodes.

Jump the shark.

Get me back.

I don't want four episodes, Netflix.

That's actually not a season.

Wait.

Period.

It is so emotionally volatile to give me a four episode series and then never hear from that character again.

Where are they?

Are they okay?

Has anyone checked on them?

Sorry, I'm waiting on a show from Apple since 2021.

And when you have to wait for a show for so long that you have to re-watch the season to know what characters' names are.

I actually don't get that mad at that because I'm like, oh, silly me.

Yeah, like a new eight episode like Nider.

Do you know what?

My husband is a man.

He listens to podcasts of his favorite shows.

And I think that's like another level of nerd.

Oh, like the...

Like the F.

If you want more.

He's that person.

Wow.

You know, you're like, who the fuck is doing that?

I've always wondered that.

And you know what?

I feel like maybe me and you would if we had jobs that we had to like go somewhere to, you know, like if we had to walk to work, if we had to go somewhere.

I just lost all my senses.

What?

You said a job and I was like, when I had a nine to five, yeah.

And I wouldn't walk to work, I was on my like, my podcast game.

You were on your podcast game.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not to speak about my husband, which on my last YouTube episode.

You.

Our last YouTube episode.

On my part of the YouTube episode.

My scene.

No, you need need to.

to start doing more confessionals next year

you yeah we had to do confessionals but you started like saying that I love my husband which was like fucked up and I wouldn't do that to you

I would never do that to you even if you fucking told me you loved your husband I wouldn't say that you want to know what I got so many text messages being like wait it's so sweet how much Hannah loves Des

I have a Dez story and I never tell Des stories.

And I texted back and I go, ew, gross.

Who's Dead?

I was like, who's dead?

So does, I keep him protected.

I keep him sidelined.

Before you start this, because this is actually about.

Before you start a 40-minute story.

I had to write a list of like invite tees for something.

And someone said, what about Hannah's husband?

Do you know my bio at the end, it says Hannah Berner lives in New York with her cat, butter?

And my mom was like, you have a husband.

And I go, oh, yeah.

He probably won't come, but I guess we could throw him an invite.

Now I'm nervous that I'm invited to something.

Now I'm scared.

It's like nothing.

So Des shot another special at the comedy seller.

Now Des and I have a rule.

I'm not allowed to come to special tapings because I bring

chaos goblin.

Chaos goblin is my new word.

I don't love it, but it might grow on me.

You know, some people are chaos goblins.

It's so like frumpy for me.

You only want pretty words around.

You go that word.

Not pretty, not cute.

Sorry, chaos angel.

Yeah.

An angelic chaos

person.

So I, no, it's just, he's basically like, I need to focus on the show and me coming just, he doesn't want

jokes about me.

And I said, you know what?

I love that.

And I respect you.

And that's why I'm, I don't care that your friends are going, whatever.

I will not go.

I love you so much.

You're not going to see my face.

I love you so much.

We're divorcing.

So I laid back and my man, he got dressed up.

I said, it was like he was going after war.

I said, good luck

laying in bed and your man having to go anywhere.

Oh my God.

And he was like, oh, go.

I even like, I put some powder on him because he was going to be on camera.

And I was his makeup artist.

And I said, you look great.

Get out of here.

Yeah.

So he calls me after the first show.

And you know, when you know someone well, that like their tone, you immediately know if something went well or not.

Yeah.

And by his tone of voice, I was like, oh, he crushed it.

Yeah.

So when you shoot special, you shoot two shows typically and they get edited together.

But if the first show doesn't go well, that's a lot of pressure because then the second show you need to nail

does does ever take beta blockers no but i feel like i should start putting it in his drink

just to calm the vibes like if i know something stressful is coming up for him and like yeah drug your husband i'm not a i was just gonna say it's not addictive you can drug them it's not i'll just put it with his advil yeah it's fine which he's overdosed on someone should check that um tyanol so he calls me and then you have the phone and like, we're not fun.

Like, we're not a fun couple.

We're not like doing crazy things.

Right.

You're not like showing up in a bob, blonde bob.

No, and we're not like.

Oh, we were bored.

So we took a trip.

Like, we're not going to come home.

Or like, we didn't know what to do.

So we.

Wait.

Thank God.

Because I'm not that either.

Oh, we're bored.

So we went here for the weekend.

Shut the fuck up.

Do we plan full trips of what we would do if we wanted to go to Tokyo?

Would we ever make it to Tokyo?

Have we canceled flights to Tokyo?

Yes.

We do that a lot.

We want we're career women.

Yes.

We want the fun of planning a trip.

Yes.

But we're not, we're never going to be able to get it.

Yes.

I love that.

I took this month off.

I've never worked more in my life.

I was like, guys, don't contact me for May.

I'm freezing my eggs.

They were like, cool.

You have to be on a plane, a train.

I'm like, okay.

I'm giving a speech tomorrow.

You're like, I'm on the presidential ballot and I didn't know how this happened.

So I get off the phone and I think, would it be fucking crazy

if I put on clothes, Dyson air wrapped, like a quick Dyson, not like in

full-fledged.

Put a little lip liner and got in a cab and like

watched his show.

And then when he got off, I'm there to be like, hello.

Literally to be like Kylie Jenner with Timothy Chalonier at the Knicks game.

You're just supporting me.

Sorry, I want to support my man.

Like, I can't always.

You're literally giving Kylie right now.

Your tits are out.

Wait, I was going to say, are they distracting you?

A little bit.

Because I'm wearing my Lululemon top and it's giving.

Yeah.

Like people forget that you have really good boobs.

Because it's the least interesting thing about me and I want people to see my bad words.

And I'm very show them off.

I want them to focus on my multiple personalities instead.

Like I don't think I've ever seen you in a top where I'm like, oh my God, Hannah's giving like tits tonight.

I think it's because I talk so much and I'm saying so many things that you can't get distracted by anything else.

And you also love your ass more.

How did we get it?

You know me.

Why are you talking to me like a literal truck driver?

Yeah, you love your ass.

I'm more of a tits guy, but you love shaking.

Sorry, I don't know why.

I've been feral today.

I think it's because I'm losing all my estrogen.

No, wait, you're back.

You are relapsing.

No, I'm fully relapsing.

My one week in my femininity gone.

Can I just say that you were the happiest I've ever seen you be in the last two weeks?

To the point that I was like, are we even compatible as friends right now?

Because she's not criticizing anything.

She's not grumpy.

I'm so happy.

You're not complaining at all.

I'm like, this is boring as fuck.

Anything bad that happened.

I was like, and so is life.

No,

you stopped and you were like, wait, New York is so beautiful in the spring.

She stopped.

I complained about something and she goes, to be negative, what is that like?

And then today on a call, I was like, how about this?

How about everyone's fired and you can lose my fucking number?

See, I love you like this.

I love when you're a little bit mad.

I have more grapes, so let's keep going.

Good.

So I call my mom.

I'm not just going to do something without going

on my own free will.

No.

I literally am like, I have to run this by Lenore Berner.

Wait, it's like a weeknight at like, what, like 10 p.m.

It was a school night.

Yeah.

I said, Lenore Berner, I called her by her government name.

I said, she's a show.

Do I surprise Des?

And her first response was, didn't he tell you verbatim he does not want you to be there tonight?

And I said, but does that mean he like kind of does want me to be?

Like, you know, when you don't know if your partner's trying to be like, yeah, don't get me flowers.

Like, is it like that?

Yeah.

And she's like, you know what?

I support this.

And I'm like, okay, if it goes bad, it's on you.

Learn that burner.

So I get in the car.

And his show starts at 10, the second show.

And it's like 10.30.

And also getting into the comedy cellar is.

hard.

Yeah.

Like, and obviously I'm a comic, but like, there's so many security guards.

And I got lucky.

I just was like, I'm Des Bishop's wife, which I've never said before.

I was just going to say, have you ever said that before?

But he was like, it's his night.

So I was like, I don't have a name.

I just have these beautiful boobs.

I'm Des Bishop's wife.

You were a missus.

I was a man.

That night.

It was like for a second, it was fun just being helpless.

Yeah, like, I don't have anything else.

You were like, sorry, I have a sourdough at home.

Yeah, you know, I was like, I just need to find my man.

I'm scared.

Yeah.

That was my vibe.

And they said, go downstairs.

I said, thank you.

So I walked down the stairs and I'm standing there.

And he's not on stage yet, which, like, I'm like, oh, shit, did I time it wrong?

Because the opener was still on stage, didn't know where he was.

And a manager comes up to me and they're like, you can't stand here, ma'am.

And I was like, that's Bishop's wife.

That's Bishop's wife.

Have you seen that video where it's like, I'm

like this TikTok video, and it's this guy sitting in his car.

and this woman comes over and is like, you can't park there.

I'm going to go get Ted Anderson.

He's like, okay, I don't know.

So I was literally.

You're like, I'm Des Bishop's wife.

Everyone's like, we don't care.

This is the line for the bathroom.

Fucking move.

Literally.

So I was standing there and the guy's like, literally was like, I don't care.

And he like guides me in.

Basically, you can't stand here, ma'am.

And I was like, don't call me ma'am.

I'm a missus.

So he kind of shows me in and I go, I'm Des Bishop's wife.

And he goes, okay, well, Des is right here.

So Des is.

He's like, that's weird because this is Des Bishop's wife.

Did we just make this into a full second family exposing?

Wait, I just pictured

some like red-headed woman that looks exactly like you,

but she has an Irish accent.

Oh my God.

Okay.

The story isn't even funny.

His secret family got to see his special and I didn't.

Anyway, so Des is sitting there and the one thing I was trying not to do is for him to see me because I wanted him to see me at the end.

So immediately he looks at me and he's like,

immediately he spots me.

The first person I see is Jesse's bishop.

And he goes, what are you doing here?

Like when I came in, I was like, and Des Bishop's way.

And he looks at me so disappointed.

And he literally was like, you had one job, which was not to come to the tape thing.

And the manager's looking at me.

You're Dez and your mom.

You're like,

it was like the one time I tried to be romantic and cute.

Like, it backfired so bad because he was like, now I'm worried if you're having, now I'm all worried.

And then I was like, I could leave.

Like, this was stupid.

And he's like, I have to walk on stage right now.

And I'm like, let me make this on me.

Really?

He literally went, ruined the whole thing.

Made the most nerve-wracking moment of his life 10 times more nerve-wracking.

I am a chaos goblin.

No.

And when I tell you guys, though, my heart is in the right place.

Yeah.

Like, my heart

is so fucking pure.

You mean what?

All he wants is to make that man happy.

Yeah.

Have I ever made a man happy?

No.

Actually, do I ever want to make a man happy?

No.

No.

And you know what?

At the end of the day, I'm does his lesson.

And that's what I am.

Through the north to his Kim.

You know, what can we say?

What can we say?

What can we say?

What can we say?

So he gets on stage, and I'm sitting there, and I realize, like, if he does bad, it's on you.

It's, I'm fully.

It's fully on me.

So I'm sitting there trying to enjoy it.

But you're like,

I really,

now everybody,

I was like,

let him go.

He does.

I start crying, laughing.

He's like, that's not even more.

You're like the opposite of heckling.

You're like yelling.

I started the wave.

And

you're like, we love you, Dad.

No, I was doing the,

I was throwing him and it went amazing.

And then we got off the stage and he's like, what's, why did you do that?

Yeah.

And I was just like, I'm sorry, but you did amazing.

So thank God he did amazing.

And that's why you should stay home.

Right.

That's the most important thing.

And that's another lesson on staying home.

Everything that's ever happened to me in my life that is bad has happened to me when I've left the house.

Yeah.

And then anything that's happened to me that's bad in the house is me remembering things that happened outside the house.

Or on my phone.

And so like, I should start placing my phone outside my front door.

Wait, I don't know why, but the algorithm, it is like, remember Facebook how they just recommend all your exes or like people you don't like, and you're like, Yeah, I don't follow them for a reason.

Yeah, that's how your algorithm is.

Like, I will mute so many things that I don't want to see, it finds me every time.

Yeah, it's like, it's like a fungus.

That's how I feel about online shopping.

Oh, like they keep recommending you things that you're like, like I said, I said I didn't want it anymore.

Do you think you have a problem?

Or do you think you're an entrepreneur?

I'm an entrepreneur.

I'm doing market research.

Do you feel a high when you do it?

When I

shop online, yeah.

Um, does it fill a void that you never thought you could fill?

Yeah, does it make you feel like

better?

Yeah, yeah,

so bring it to your local therapist because they're wrong.

It actually does make you happier.

I find the buying is way more fun than actually like

having to put it away in your closet.

You're just stressed right now.

Yeah.

You're up, you're overwhelmed.

You're inundated with

I'm overstimulated, underprepared for life.

Wow.

And that's your autobiography.

That's spot on.

How are you?

I was just going to say, let's start at the bottom.

Let's start at the bar.

The preamble.

We love a preamble.

A preamble story.

We're preamble friends.

Like, when we first see each other.

We need a warm-up.

Well, we're like cats.

We're like, we sniff each other a little.

We roll around.

We say,

I have to think of like the tea that I have.

Oh, my God.

Well, you, yeah, you've, you're bad at, like, having tea ready for me.

It needs to boil.

I need to, like, think.

Yeah.

Okay.

New criteria for me, which I didn't know I needed.

I need a cat, dad.

If a man doesn't like your cat.

We don't like that man.

He can't take care of a cat.

He just likes dogs.

Like, I don't like that energy at all.

We want a sensitive, beautiful soul because cats are about

you have to be aware of them you have to be able to listen

and we love men who listen and that's why temptations america's number one cat treat is on a mission to show how resistable cat dads truly are this segment is brought to you by temptations and a cast creative i love a cat dad actually um butter did not like des

at first and he fed her for seven months before she let him touch her and that's called boundaries i need to have those

des Dez actually connected with butter with temptations treats.

I feel like the day.

That's how he connected with me too, by the way.

Well, obviously.

I feel like the day someone meets Daphne and she goes up to him willingly, that's my husband.

Well, if he puts a temptations treat in his hand and they eat it off, it's like a sign of trust and it's beautiful.

He kind of hands the language butter into his arms.

A cat.

Zaddie, if you like.

A cat, Zaddy.

Okay, I think it's a test for a guy.

If he gives your cat a temptation and the cat doesn't eat it, run.

Run.

Yeah.

Your cat can sense an energy that you can't sense yet.

Yep.

And these are the things that matters in a man.

Really, I'm just looking for a cat dad to like pick up Daphne's like litter.

And I want him to like just pick up a cat toy for butter just like, not because it's her birthday, just because.

Just because he saw it and thought Daphne would like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you guys have your very own cat daddy or cat zaddy, we want to see them.

So DM us and show us a picture.

Hashtag cat zaddy sighting.

And let's be real, there's nothing more tempting than a man who tries to earn the affection of your cat.

I love it.

Temptations is on a mission to make 2025 the year of the cat dad.

And I'm so for it.

I think it's going to make, it's going to give guys more green flags.

So celebrate the irresistible power of cat dads with temptations.

And if you have your own cat zaddy at home, make sure you hashtag catzaddy sighting on social so everyone can see them.

Okay, real talk.

Don't these giggly squad ads just feel like they go on and on and on?

What if this was the last ad you ever had to hear on this show?

Because with Prime, you can stream top podcasts ad-free on Amazon Music, even this one.

No awkward breaks, no we'll be right back, just true crime, celebrity gossip, unhinge best friend rants, whatever you're into uninterrupted.

You could be deep in a drama right now, but instead, I'm here.

Ad-free podcasts is on Prime.

And ironically, yes, I am the ad telling you that.

Shopping is better together on Amazon Live.

Amazon Live brings you a new way to shop.

It's a video platform where you can explore trending products and deals, connecting with the biggest influencers and their communities, including our favorite Paige DeSorbo.

But there's also Amazon Live stars like Kyle Richards, Lala Kent, all telling me what to buy.

I need this because there's too many options out there and I want tastemakers to tell me what their favorite things are for certain events.

I love their tech essentials to their get ready with me's, plus real-time try-ons on the latest trends.

I want to see how makeup looks on people.

I want to see what they're packing to Italy.

These are things that make shopping helpful for me, and that's the magic of Amazon Live.

Whether it's tech, home, beauty, fashion, or something totally unexpected, everyone's on Amazon Live for the same reason, to find something they love with people they love too.

It's like shopping with a trusted friend.

So shop on Amazon now by searching Amazon Live in the Amazon shopping app and follow your favorite creators today.

You know what's more stressful than a packed calendar?

Realizing you're out of coffee right before a meeting?

That's why I stocked up during Thrive Markets back to school sale.

Even though you're not going back to school, this is the perfect time to reset.

Thrive makes it easy to shop for high-quality pantry staples, snacks, vitamins, even skincare without the errands or the ingredient label deep dives.

Thrive Markets filters also make shopping by diet or lifestyle a breeze, and their Healthy Swaps tool helped me upgrade my usual buys with zero label stress.

One of my favorite things is this brand Siete Mexican wedding cookies.

Oh my god, they are so good.

I literally eat them all in one day, but it's fine, but I will never not order them.

Now is the best time to try Thrive Market.

You'll get up to 25% off, select items, and new members get 30% off their first order plus a free gift.

Go to thrivemarket.com slash giggly to start saving.

The sale ends August 31st.

Don't miss it.

Avoiding your unfinished home projects projects because you're not sure where to start?

Thumbtack knows home so you don't have to.

Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is.

With thumbtack you don't have to be a home pro.

You just have to hire one.

You can hire top-rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews all on the app.

Download today.

Okay, this is what I wanted to say about Mormon Housewives.

Because we never talked about it.

We like praised Hulu.

We did did fuck Netflix.

And then we talked about my husband.

Yeah, and then we pivoted.

Yeah.

It's so good.

It's such a good show because I feel like because they're so new to reality TV, so they literally just say every single thing.

Which I've never had.

New to reality TV can go two ways.

It depends on the group.

Well, the whole group hates each other now.

They've already, they've already ruined everything.

It's already ruined everything.

Like money has already gotten involved.

Egos.

Like egos, who's bigger than who, who's bigger than the biggest thing.

But sometimes new reality TV people, because of the vibes, no one discloses everything because they're all like protecting themselves.

But this one was kind of like, let's outdo each other, is what you feel.

By the way, I've never watched a second of this.

Well, I think a lot of it has to do with being Mormon and being so,

like, they're so, they're so, um,

yeah, suppressed, but also, like, what is the word?

Innocent.

Yeah, like, innocent, where they're not, like,

I don't know.

Utah, like, as a state is just so do they have air conditioning I mean they definitely have air conditioning but I'm so fascinated by it like truly not like hating or anything I'm really so fascinated on how they like have like their culture they don't get influenced by anything else in America and it's like but how do you not see it every day because it's a cult No, it's a full-on cult.

So I think part of like them getting attention is on like even a different scale because it's like I also I haven't watched it, but I love the idea that these women who in their society are considered less than, yes, are now like independently becoming wealthy.

Well, they're, yes, they are.

They're definitely, they outearn all of their husbands for 100%.

Some of their husbands stopped working, which I'm like,

put them back to work.

Like, I don't know if they're all dating each other, but someone needs to look into that.

But that's besides the point, because I truly do love every single girl on the show, and I'm like genuinely rooting for all of them

because they have certain scenes, like the one main girl, Taylor.

I've never wavered on liking her or not.

I've always loved her because her family sucks.

Her parents are some of the worst people I've ever listened to on reality TV.

No, I'm not kidding.

I love the girls, the older people.

The way they spoke to this girl that her boyfriend, who she just had a baby with, cheated on her and lied pretty much the whole beginning of their relationship.

They literally told her that she deserved it because she had sex with him after like three times of hanging out.

And I'm like,

literally, go to any, go to anywhere in this, in this country, anywhere, literally in the country.

Yeah.

Like, what are you talking about?

I just felt so bad for her in that moment.

And that's really honestly all my gripes.

Taylor, Paul, Frankie, Taylor, Frankie, Paul.

It doesn't, yeah.

Three first names.

She's just, she's just like an innocent.

She doesn't know.

Yeah.

She literally doesn't know.

Sorry.

She's like living her life and she's cute and she wanted to like dance around and also have sex with her boyfriend.

Like he wanted it too.

Like it's not forcing you to do it.

And, like, he,

that's the whole thing.

Their whole like mindset on like what women are for.

And then the other one, there's another girl.

Her name is Jen.

Her husband's got her in a whole fucking psychosis.

Like, I mean, she literally left the show because she couldn't.

He's just.

Well, what's interesting about what Hula's able to do is like actually show the psychology of these relationships.

I hate when reality TV, like, there's real shit going on, but they try to oversimplify it with like a really basic storyline.

Yeah.

But it sounds like they're really

delving into these people's lives.

Delving into their lives.

Do you think this season's better than last season?

Because that was word on the street.

I think, no, I don't.

I think they're both like pretty equal.

There's just a lot.

How's Whitney doing?

She's a little bit out of the drama because she had like just had a baby.

And she needed to get on the bed.

And they have like a new villain.

Yeah.

And she's kind of like chilling.

But like, nope.

Wonder they all become swingers.

Like, and here's the other thing they say, though.

They say that, like, they hooked up with someone, but they mean they like kissed and so I'm like oh come on guys

you don't believe me was it butt was it finger was it armpit you gotta give me more detail something why did I look at the camera

and so like the fact that even them being swingers was like the death to their like families they never even fucked each other's husbands They made out with them and like had sex with their own respective husband in the same bed.

I'm like, big wall.

That's called high school.

No, literally.

Wait, that's called losing your virginity.

Who cares?

That's called a Tuesday.

Unless you had sex with that woman's husband, I don't care.

You did not even have sexual relations with that woman.

Yeah.

So it's just like, I feel bad for the women in general.

I wonder if them seeing the feedback of the public now

is making them question their entire like.

perspective on life.

Yeah, because like what's the moment?

This is like a macro thought.

What's the moment that you go from like, oh, my mom is teaching me this and I'm trying to rebel to then I'm going to teach my daughter the same thing?

You know, like, what's that?

I mean, I guess that's generally breaking generational trauma.

Yeah.

I also think though they're, they've been since the day they were born fed, like literally fed

scripture, whatever they call it, the story.

So like you're brainwashed.

They're also some of the most judgmental women I've literally ever watched.

They're made for reality.

Like it's all about like religion.

It's just it, yeah.

They're made for reality TV.

Yes, but it is funny.

There's a lot of cults where like there's a reason why you're not allowed to use your phone.

You're not allowed to talk to your parents because those are all, as someone who's obsessed with cults, those are all outer world things that can change your mind about what you're being brain washed.

Yeah.

Sorry, I just got brainwashed.

So you need to get those distractions out of the way so you don't question anything and then you just become Mormon.

I mean, if there's.

I'm never joining a religion that limits my drinks.

And not even alcohol.

Like, I'm sorry, coffee.

Can't have a diet coke.

Fuck off.

But they can do Adderall.

I mean.

Can they do betas?

Yeah, no, they can do that.

They do beta blockers.

So they can do like.

I'm sure they're doing drugs, too.

There's only some Mormons.

My thing is they just get around whatever the old school rules are, you know?

Right.

It's just a.

Can I do Ozempe?

I'm sure.

I'm not like drug-tested.

You can't do a morning coffee, but you can do

a Xanax.

They were also talking about this whole thing where, like, if you die and you were divorced, like, you're

still bound to your ex-husband for the rest of your life through to, oh my gosh.

Come on.

We got real-world problems happening.

Let's talk about the here and now.

When he dies,

who was he?

That's not my girlfriend.

He crosses my desk.

We'll figure it out.

But, like, right now.

How did the men who are dead have more power than women who are alive?

Period.

Oh my God.

Period.

That is so.

Where'd you hear that?

You just made that up?

Marilyn Monroe.

Oh.

I'm just kidding.

My new thing is quoting everything and saying Marilyn Monroe.

I was doing it on the burner phone podcast.

I said some quote and this is like, where's it from?

And I go, Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe, one of the two.

I don't know who.

Oh, God.

Oh,

can I have a mental health moment?

Sure.

Because then I have another thing I'm pissed off about.

I had a really good day the other week.

I don't want to brag, but you know, when you wake up and like, you have no intrusive thoughts.

Yep.

The world feels a little lighter.

It's a slow morning.

It's a slow morning.

You know what happiness is?

It's not when something good happens to you.

Honestly, that is normally followed by a lot of stress.

Yeah.

It's more when like things are quiet.

Yeah.

No one's

bothering you.

No one's looking for you.

You, you're more like in the moment, you're like, oh, should we have a bagel?

Like, that's, that's, I love that, is what happiness is, and you don't realize it.

That's how I feel when I light candles.

I'm like, and this moment is just even better.

I feel like our whole life we're trying to be successful, and then you become successful, and then you're like, how are you supposed to enjoy the little things?

No, sometimes I'm like, will I ever feel happiness?

I love you so much.

It's so relatable.

Will I?

Literally today, I was like, Also, don't you sometimes get nervous that like we've done so much stuff

so quickly that it's like

will we ever have this?

Will I ever have the same dopamine hit while you're playing charades with Patrick Schwarzenegger, John Hamm, Jimmy Fallon, and my best friend?

I don't think so.

You've never moved on from the one time I told you about Justin Bieber and how he burnt all his dopamine because he had too many big shows.

You've never forgotten it.

And look at him now.

Okay?

And for good reason, I never forgot it because look at him now.

If you're going through a hard time, just know that at least you're not burning out all your dopamine and there's good things to come.

But the truth is, yeah, happiness is you being able to exist.

People have kids.

Why?

Well, as someone who gave birth last week,

I get that

you get

a fulfillment that's different than any, like

I get where you get to a point where you're like, My life is

fun, but like, I need something else.

Like, I need like another, like, I'm kind of, I like, I've done what I wanted to do almost kind of thing, where like it's not at the forefront.

Like, I, it's also because your brain is so used to chasing, or like, you want to be proud of yourself when I actually do something that I'm proud of, your brain still doesn't know that you should chill out.

So then it's like, okay, what, what else we're doing?

We're bad for each other because we're both so like, okay, but we did that.

Well, what's the next thing?

What's the next thing?

But

we both are very supportive.

That's so cute.

And I say, I'm proud of you, even though I know you worked way too hard on it.

You didn't have to do that kind of thing.

You know what I mean?

What was your mental health?

Oh, my mental health went.

I had a really good day.

And I don't know why.

And it was just being, you were present.

I was present.

That was it.

I was present.

I was talking to my husband.

Yeah.

I asked my husband a question.

I asked him a question.

I listened to to his response.

I said something back.

I was just in the moment.

I wasn't lost in my thoughts.

And I said, what a beautiful day.

And like, what'd you do that day?

I think I like, I played some tennis.

Yeah.

And then I just like relaxed.

I like wanted to socialize a little bit.

Like, I think like someone came over.

You were really having a good day.

Yeah, we watched the next game and I wasn't like on edge.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I'm healed from whatever illness I have.

Go to bed that night.

Get assaulted by my dreams.

See, can't we just have a dinner?

I said just the first one minute.

My subconscious was like, oh, you shut me up all day?

Bitch, I'm coming for you.

I literally had a right.

I woke up and I was like,

okay, I had a dream that my, I was shooting my next comedy special.

Yep.

And I changed my outfit after the first show.

Okay.

And they were like, you can't change your outfit.

It has to be the same outfit for the two shows.

And I was like, well, I don't have my other outfit.

And everything was ruined.

Hold on.

You had a fashion room?

It was actually more of a,

because I think I went to Des special taping.

It was more of a special taping.

This special taping, you know, ruined your girl.

It shook me.

Oh, yeah.

And then they changed my makeup and they're like, you can't change the makeup.

And I was like, weak, like, we're fucking up this whole day.

And then I had to go to a tennis tournament.

We're triggered.

Everyone's, this is a dark shade.

Oh my God.

And I was supposed to play and they were like, you were supposed to check in on your phone.

And I was like, I didn't know where the check-in was.

Like, how I forgot to click on.

I'm surprised you didn't have sleep paralysis.

I think I did.

They were like, you got an email.

And I was like, I never saw the email.

I wake up and I was like, this is what I get?

Yeah.

For shutting my mind up for one day.

So, like, what am I supposed to do?

You know, that's interesting because I fell asleep the other day for like 15-minute nap, like in the middle of the day.

It was like 4 p.m.

I had like a, I had like a five o'clock call.

I was like, I'm literally shutting my eyes.

Yeah.

I woke up in a tizzy

as if it was that previous morning and I never got up and did did the whole day.

But I was like, oh my gosh.

Have you ever lived?

I literally texted my mom.

I was like, I worked so much that I woke up in the nap and I was like, I'm not that I miss the whole day.

She was like, have you ever had a dream of everything you have to do the next day and you do it and then you wake up and realize you haven't done any of it yet?

Yeah.

I used to have this in high school all the time.

I used to have that with tennis where I'd play, I'd know I have to play a girl and I was really nervous about a specific girl, play the entire match against her in my sleep, wake up and go, Jesus fucking Christ.

Anyway, so any sleep.

Wait, I would say that if I was on a team and like during practice.

What would you say?

I actually had a dream about this last night and I did it in the dream so I don't have to do it today.

Wait, so what are the rules about dream winning?

So anyway, we're working on our mental health.

Okay, my gripe.

Yeah.

Gripe me, bitch.

The amount of horror movies available to watch on streaming, it's enough.

Who's watching them back to back?

It's too much.

For every drama, I don't need seven horror movies being made.

I feel like horror movies are like really easy to make.

Well, they say that they're really cheap and that they don't get like accolades.

Yeah, because they just find a haunted house that no one wants to film in.

Yeah, during like award season, like horror films are like never whatever.

Yeah.

And I'm like,

yeah, because they suck.

Yeah.

I hate horror movies.

I don't, I just.

Because we already have adrenaline.

That's what it is.

I also,

the beginning of a horror movie is the nicest, sweetest shit you'll ever see.

Like, the first, you know, the first conversation, it's always like the best day ever.

And they're like, I love you, mom.

I hope nothing bad ever happens to us.

And you're like, oh my God, just get to it.

Get to the like

horror movie I saw was like Saw.

And it was like in high school.

I saw Final Destination 3 and I, that was my Final Destination.

How come in high school, like, every time you would hang out with a guy, it would be a horror movie that you would like.

Why does that make guys horny?

I don't know.

We should look into that.

We should look into that.

Is it because they want to be tough?

They're like, yeah, I'll protect you if you get nervous and they try to kiss you.

Does violence turn them on?

And

should that person...

Kidnapping?

Yeah.

Murder?

Women yelling?

Yeah.

Out of fear?

I think we should look into that.

Chris, did you ever take a girl on a date to a horror movie?

Why?

Who told you that?

Joe Rogan.

Yeah, I think it's like, oh, she's going to get scared.

You're going to like grab her hand.

A guy took me on a date date to see the movie The Happening.

And it was supposed to be like a scary movie where everyone dies.

Amy Pohler and Paul Redd just talked about this when Paul was on Amy's podcast about movie theaters.

When's the last time you went to the movie theater?

So I want to see sinners at the movie theater, but again, we're not a couple that does a horror movie.

I know it's not a horror movie.

Oh, what a movie we're not at a time.

Time like this.

You're saying people who go see horror movies?

Any type of horror movie, if you're leaving the home to see it, diabolical.

If you're watching it in the home, like, because that's your genre.

I'm also traumatized.

When I was at a tennis academy when I was 14, I was like, it was me and this one other girl and all these boys.

And our night out was going to the mall in Florida because it's all they have to do in Florida.

And they'd make us see a horror movie.

And the guys would yell at the wrong times to scare me.

And that's why I have high-functioning anxiety.

I don't like being scared.

Yeah.

Like, I like a prank.

I love a prank.

I think that's fun.

But like, if you're hiding and then you're going to scare me, you're stupid.

No, it's slowbrow.

It's so

lowbrow.

I close my eyes.

I don't care.

I close my eyes.

I close my ears.

I don't care that I'm 33.

I'm doing that.

I'm close my eyes and close my ears and I'm going, la, la, la, la, la, la.

I'm like, I'm hit.

I'm throwing bows.

You're hitting people in the movie theater.

It becomes down to it if I have to.

Are you one of those people when something scary happens?

You go, ah!

No, 100%.

No, I'm close.

Also, if there's any violence, I close my eyes.

Why would I succumb to it?

That's how I feel.

Like, I can't watch some like mafia movies.

Like, when they get beat up, I'm just like, oh, God.

No, I know.

I'm like, you already hit him three times.

Why do you have to hit him again?

No.

Yeah.

Like, I had to close my eyes, I feel, like, through a lot of the sopranos.

Yeah.

I was just like, I can't.

Yeah.

Wait, let's talk about my egg freezing for a quick second because I feel like people don't talk about this part of it.

You gain weight when you're doing it, obviously, because your ovaries like literally like swell, get bigger.

So I gained like seven pounds of

just like bloat and water.

Of ovary.

Of ovary.

Those ovaries are fat.

Yeah.

I mean, it may have been snacking

for the baby.

While it was happening.

You go, I'm eating.

I'm for two.

I'm plumping up my ovaries.

You wouldn't get it.

I love saying I'm eating for two.

But like, I knew

like that weight is like going to go away, like, in the like certain like two weeks, like my body literally, like, the hormones have to like dissipate and all that stuff.

So, like, I wasn't like that stressed about it that I had like gained seven pounds, but I definitely was like, oh shit, like, I gained seven pounds.

Did he tell you?

Did the doctor tell you to weigh yourself?

No, no, no, but they tell me because you don't, you don't have to weigh yourself.

No one advises that.

I would have, but I wanted to know like how much you're fluctuating.

Yeah, it was gonna like make me gain.

So I,

after

i just have this thought where i was like okay i know it's the weights going away and i know like i don't really have to do that much because it's just like water weight

after you have a baby as someone speaking with experience

no here's the thing in that moment that i was like but i felt gross i was like okay i can't like put makeup on like i just feel disgusting this is not my body like i just you do feel like a little odd because like then your hormones are going crazy.

Once you give birth and you are in the state that you are in, like, this baby's just come out of you.

Your stomach's still huge because it doesn't go away over your life.

You're a vehicle

for a living.

Your vagina's

destroyed.

Like, you're six weeks till anything even can see down there.

But it sucks back in.

It sucks.

Totally.

Right.

That's what the sound it makes.

I can imagine that in that moment, you know if you married the right person or not.

mic drop.

Because I had a moment where I was like coming off of it.

My hormones were crazy.

I didn't, I felt disgusting.

I just like everything was annoying me.

So I'm so interested.

Like after you have a baby, how many women?

Now, obviously, it's not like overnight, like, oh, I married this person, I love him.

And then when I had a baby, I hated him.

Yeah.

But I wonder how many people had the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy.

And then right when they had a baby, it was like, this is definitely not the right guy.

It's literally post-baby clarity.

Yeah.

Because you were post-baby clarity.

You're at like your most vulnerable form of like, I my body just went through trauma.

Yep.

I need someone to love me for me because I don't look the way I know myself to look.

Take care of me.

And no, well, that's why I think when people say, oh, we were struggling.

So we want to have a baby to bond us closer.

It apparently like makes it worse.

But if your relationship's strong, it makes it stronger.

But babies will expose the fuck out of it.

No, like I want my husband to know exactly what

one got me pregnant you know like i want i wanted to be loving i wanted to be like not to bring up about your husband my husband again but i got fired this weekend from your marriage

he fired me because oh he does this thing where like you ever like

well wait before we get into it you two are both type b very type b thank you for setting that up yeah let me set the stage i was watching tv in my zone in my nook you know when when you have a part of the couch, you're in your nook.

Yep.

Don't bother me.

Yeah.

He you lay on a weird axis.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm, but I'm like laid out.

Like it's a bed.

Yeah, of course.

It's a long part of the couch.

Well, if you get a couch and you're not treating it like a second bed, like people that just sit on their couch.

No.

People who sit up, people who watch TV leaning forward.

You know, like sometimes I'll see Instagram stories and I'm like, how are you working with that couch?

What are you resting?

Are you doing all a Sunday with that couch?

The fancy ass couches.

Yeah, you're not like, you're not napping accidentally.

I want to to fall asleep the second I hit that couch.

Yeah.

So does I sense movement from him, which is irritating.

Never good.

I said something.

He's had a thought.

Exactly.

So he,

we've been trying to add this like end of this couch for a while, fixed the end of the couch.

We've had weeks to do this.

Suddenly, he's excited and feels energy to do it.

And that's great for him.

I didn't consent to it.

No.

I wasn't mentally prepared.

No.

But he's trying to be like strong and do it on his own.

But like, he's grunting and he's like figuring it out.

So then I'm like okay Well, he's very mad at me about the special So maybe I should I lend a hand so then I do the nice

you need help and he goes actually and I was like oh no

So I got into that one and he's already like knows the ins and outs of this and I dive in and like I'm not doing that great of a job and honestly I had a little attitude.

Yeah.

I was like and also you didn't care.

Also, I didn't want to be there.

Also, I never got hired officially.

You're like, also, I want to go home.

So he was like, no, you got to change your idea.

And I go, I don't, and I like, I was like being mature and I walked off.

I had to walk off.

It's so chic.

And then I come back and I go, because I, we do this weird thing in our relationship, which I say sorry sometimes, which I don't recommend.

Oh my God.

But I, so I said, babe,

I'm sorry.

I don't know who that just was.

I'm back with you.

Let's do this couch.

It's us versus the couch.

Us versus the couch.

This couch doesn't know what's going to hit it.

Babe, it's me and you versus the world.

This couch has never met the bishops.

The bishop burners.

So I, um, two minutes in, I'm going to be, I'm mad again.

I'm mad again.

Like, I retract that statement.

This couch is fucked.

I had that moment where, you know, it's bad when you have to check your flow app.

And I go, when am I getting my period?

Because I'm just trying to feel a little.

And when are you going to meet it?

It was.

four days away.

And I go, actually,

I take back my apology.

I come back in the room and I say, actually, I'm MPMSing.

It wasn't me either.

Actually, one more thing about the couch.

So here's what's happening.

And that's why.

What's wrong with the couch?

How does a couch break?

It didn't break, but it was one of those couches that you could connect and expand it.

And we had kind of...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have to like click the thing.

And like, honestly, not my thing.

Not where I throw it.

So like, oh, I must have forgot when I went to engineering school.

I am a creative.

I didn't play with Legos.

I was drawing.

I was doing murals.

I was sculpting.

Yeah.

So anyway,

I survived to tell the tale, but it was funny.

Okay, question.

Because it's interesting that you both are type B, but you don't get like annoyed with each other because it's like...

I think that's the key.

If one of us was type A,

we'd have

but we'd also, I think it would work if I was with a type A guy as long as he didn't get annoyed.

Like he liked cleaning.

No.

Which our moms do.

Yeah, but for us.

For us.

But like I've had guys where like they're like, oh, this is just how I'm my busy time and I like to clean.

And like you're a yapper, like, in general, but then you have quiet time.

Is Dez a yapper?

No, no.

So, we will be quiet together.

No, I'm quiet.

He's quiet.

She goes, You don't speak.

No, we we're very trying this new thing where we're living apart.

I go, but we're not talking.

And it's working great.

No, our thing is, we're so.

I'm like, don't have a baby.

You will let yours.

No, but we're very like,

some days are less talkative.

And that's marriage.

And I'm thankful.

Like today, I used to early on.

I'd be like, are we

telling you something you told me about marriage?

Me over here not married.

You told me something about marriage.

And I think about it all the time.

And every time I meet someone or I'm hanging out with someone,

I think about like,

It's not the fun stuff.

It's not the cool stuff.

It's not the vacations.

It's not the like, what are we doing this weekend?

Where are we going to dinner?

It's literally waking up in the morning, both being home that day.

And how does it, are you, how do you navigate?

How do you navigate the day-to-day boring show?

It's cohesive together.

Do you think the same things are funny?

Are you going to take a break and like make out and like be cute?

Or like, and so I think about it all the time.

Well, especially when all you see is social media being like, that couple's fun.

And it's like, yeah, but day to day.

Yeah.

The reason people break up is not because like of normally a big thing it's normally just like the day to day isn't working it's the idea of when you leave that person do you feel energized or do you feel like your life is sucked away and doesn't i get a break all we do is laugh but like we have to be on so much so it's a lot of like we get back we it's literally like me and you he like he's gonna come home from a podcast too he's gonna see me he's gonna be like what are we ordering what are we watching what more do we need to talk about no a dream but then when the gossip comes, the hard part about marriage is, look, I ran out of material.

I ran out of stories.

And he will call me out.

He'll be like, you told me this three times.

And I said, let me have a moment.

Yeah.

Let me live in this performance.

I've added some new adjectives and I've spicy.

I'm nervous that I'm going to get married and we're going to run out of gossip because we were going to.

You don't?

Okay, good.

Because you have friends doing stupid shit around you.

Okay, thank God.

Yes.

But

we were talking, Des and I, about how we don't have like married friends.

We've a lot of like, I've lost single friends.

He's a lot of friends with like full families.

So it's kind of like us on our own.

You don't have like a couple that you're like, let's call the

shit.

We should.

And we, we talk about it a lot.

Like, we're like, let's double date.

Let's double date.

This is fascinating because it's a very particular couple.

Now, I do have to say going to dinner with you.

We talked about it on burner phone.

Don't you feel like if you're

the girls have to decide, like a hunt.

hunt two men can't be like, let's bring our girlfriends, like I don't trust that.

No, that's like sex trafficking.

Like, I'm actually terrified of that.

Men will be friends with anything.

No, if any man texted me and said, We're going to dinner, like me and Jim fucking set it up, I'd be like,

their gun in the battery because it's not sounding safe.

It's not a bad thing.

Men will also bond over anything.

Like, they'll be like, they'll throw something in the garbage, and then he'll throw something in the garbage.

And I'll be like, you like throwing stuff in the garbage?

And be like, do you want to be my best friend for eight years?

Yeah.

Where girls, it's not like that.

So the girls.

I will say that sometimes though, girls can meet like their long-lost best friend through like being someone's girlfriend.

And look, even a blind squirrel finds a nut.

Right.

And that's, and I'm happy for they're the exception, not the rule.

Yes.

Like, usually it's like, okay.

Yes.

Yes.

But the double date, the fun part

is the gossip after you leave.

And then you judge and you go,

they hate each other.

Julie said

that

your core couple that you guys go to dinner with is a lesbian couple.

That's so funny you said that because that's absolutely what we do.

Lesbians love Des.

Lesbians are weirdly attracted to Des because he has blue eyes.

You know, blue-eyed guys are like kind of pretty.

They're very pretty.

Yeah, they love Des.

And then, because he's giving, um, he's giving straight Anderson Cooper.

Yes.

And then they love me and I love them.

We love that.

We love the Taylors.

We, yeah, we love lesbians.

we love lesbians i don't know enough honestly i don't actually have enough lesbians in my life well look you have enough you have all the the gay men and i have the lesbian women and you know what together they hate each other

i do love that rivalry like what is it that the gays and the lesbians are like

because lesbians want nothing to do with men we love speaking in huge general talking about things i've never experienced like marriage, babies, giving birth, having a husband.

Scissoring.

Yay.

We love it.

It takes me a little bit of time to introduce something into my routine, but something that I got the hang of really quickly was Symbiotica liposomal vitamin C.

I started drinking them when we went on tour because the benefits were just too good to ignore.

Collagen production, glowing skin, antioxidants.

If I'm having a panic attack, I want my skin to be glowing.

Symbiotica only uses the best ingredients and the best flavors.

Their liposomal vitamin C is citrus vanilla and it tastes so good.

I've actually even added it into my water bottle sometimes.

I also love Symbiotica's sea moss pouches.

They help with digestion, bloating, and healthy skin.

I'm always looking for anything to help my skin.

They're clean and convenient, the best combination.

So go to symbiotica.com slash giggly squad for 20% off plus free shipping.

That's symbiotica.com slash giggly squad for 20% off plus free shipping.

So New York City is going through an absolute heat wave, but I naturally run hot anyway when I'm sleeping.

And if you run into that problem too, then Mattress Firm sleep experts will match you with the right mattress with the latest cooling technology.

Mattress Firm has a premium selection so you can get the upgrade you want.

Mattress Firm really does make the shopping for a mattress so easy and Mattress Firm sleep experts use their training and expertise to match you with the perfect sleep solution.

Summer is so hot and don't go another night sleeping and sweating.

For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm during the Labor Day sale, the best sale of the year.

They make sleep easy.

Text GigglySquad to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm.

Restrictions apply.

See mattressfirm.com or store for details.

I use heat every day of my life and I've tried so, so many heat protectants.

None of them felt like they were making a difference for my damaged hair until I tried K18's new Heat Bounce Conditioning Heat Protectant.

Instead of just coating the hair like traditional heat protectants, Patented Tech fortifies hair from the inside out for 85% less breakage after blow drying.

Heat Bounce delivers deeper heat protection than ever before, so I can go from a bouncy shiny blowout to a sleek ponytail without worrying about damage.

Plus, my hair is getting stronger with continued use.

Shop HeatBounds at Sephora or use code GIGGLY for 10% off your first order at k18hair.com.

That's code giggly at k18hair.com.

Moms, ready to make back to school healthy and stress-free, Thrive Markets Got You.

They restrict over 1,000 sketchy ingredients so you can shop worry-free.

Grab high-protein dinners and low-sugar lunchbox faves.

From Lesser Evil Popcorn to Partey Cookie Snack Packs, they have the best kid-approved swaps.

And don't forget about yourself.

Grab Acures Hydrogel Eye Mask for the perfect end-of-day reset.

Their big back-to-school sale makes it the perfect time to stock up now.

Go to thrivemarket.com/slash podcast for 30% off your first order and a free $60 gift.

I wanted to call you out on something.

Okay.

In the last newsletter, which is real, it's not a bit.

Yeah.

You put down jelly flats.

What of it?

Is that for reals?

Yeah, for real.

Like, for reals?

Really?

No, no.

I'm allowed to do Crocs.

That's on brand.

That's my thing.

Okay.

Jelly sandals?

Here's the thing, Hannah.

I love a trend.

Like, I'm going to try it.

And if a major designer makes a jelly sandal, I'm finding the freaking dupe and I'm buying it.

Who did it?

I forgot.

Say what you're chest next time.

I literally, I forgot.

I believed you, though.

Someone's a trend.

Chloe, maybe?

Okay, it's a trend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, it's giving ballet flat and it's giving.

It's giving ballet flat.

It's also like it's giving you step in one puddle.

You're.

It's not a trend that's staying.

It's not a timeless classic.

What color are you doing?

That's why I like, I don't think that those are designer brand purchases.

Those are Amazon purchases.

Like a ballet flat is also a trend, but that's actually a timeless shoe.

So like if you're spending on a ballet flat, I would say that more than the jelly flat.

Jelly flat is fun to say.

100%.

And it also is a good conversation starter.

Also, it is giving limited to a nostalgia.

Yeah.

Do you remember those sandals that were like marshmallow?

Do you remember the ones that were like literally a cloud?

Sandals that were marshmallow.

They were like this thick.

And like candies made them.

Yes, and then they would rip and then you'd have to put a band-aid over it.

Wait, whoa, whoa.

now you've lost me

was it a flip-flop like a tear but around your toe like the thong where your toe went it was like terry cloth maybe they were like massive platforms yes but like fluffy like a

I need to google a picture now I think I know what you mean but also I don't know if I know what you mean I didn't find it but like it looked like this do you remember those okay yeah but like from like not that long ago like from when I was in like seventh grade.

Oh, no, I don't remember them then then.

I also think that like Gen Z's

I have to commend them, but I'm also kind of angry at them that like they've made pimples cool

Like they put this it's almost like if you don't have a star on your face, you're like a loser.

Well, there's so much more like skin

Yeah focus like we didn't have we weren't like doing things

you know what we were doing like I just started using an eye cream like what we did proactive

Yeah, I actually, I actually did proactive.

And I had then you'd put like, you'd cover your pimples up with like the proactive.

I had the seven-step routine or whatever.

And their commercials were so long.

And it was like the first time it was like you saw a dermatologist.

You were like, what is a dermatologist?

No, I had, and it was.

And it was two women.

It was fucking two dermatologists.

So yeah, we had to use proactive back in the day.

And there was definitely one that I was like, that's ciphering off my skin.

It was also like if you had acne back then, it was like,

go home.

Or like, like, you're a teenager, you're supposed to.

The reason why I'm not good with skincare right now is because I don't care how good something is, if it smells funny, I don't want to wear it.

You also have like a sensory thing.

Are you saying I have problems?

No, I'm saying

you don't like, like, you're not putting, you don't like a lot of makeup on.

So like I get it.

So Like, skincare is sticky and it's oily and it's greasy and your hair sticks.

Yeah, and that is like, and you love that.

That's my dream.

I'm like, I want to go to bed looking.

I'm getting claustrophobic.

You know, yeah.

This thing, if it smells nice, I like it.

But this one dermatologist was like, This, you know, it's gonna change.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I bought it.

Yeah.

Too expensive.

I got upset.

Biologic.

Bless you.

I go, did you just say a slur at me?

Like, you can't call French people.

It was this, I forget what it was, but she was like, this is what you need.

It'll solve literally all your problems, A to Z.

And I said, great, I'm committed.

And she's like, promise you you're committed.

Yeah.

First time I put it on, I said,

I don't like the smell.

See, can't put it on.

I love that because I'm like,

it's working.

There's something.

If it's burning, I'm like, it's just working really good.

Oh, it's overperforming.

You're like, actually, if it burns, it's not good.

I don't like those lip things that tingle.

I can't focus on conversation when my lips are tingling.

Yeah, see, I love that.

And then I think everyone's looking at my lips tingle.

Yeah.

And it's distracting everything.

How do you function when your lips are tingling?

I just love it.

You love it.

I love anything beauty related.

I'm very vain.

Yeah.

Anything that I feel like is going to make me look better.

I'm like, I don't care if it hurts, smells, or kills me.

I'm trying it.

You know, I don't talk to the internet and I don't get involved in gossip.

However, there was a post.

We're only talking, you're only speaking on our podcast that we've had for the last five years.

There was a post that came up on my feed because they know I care about you, but it was like saying what work you might have had done.

No, Paige.

No.

I was this close to commenting.

They didn't like confirm anything, but they were.

They were trying to matrif you.

were like wait what did they say it was a photo of you from like a while ago okay and a photo of you now and like your eyebrows are like slightly different and you're you're like we're in a little but it's funny two photos of me next to each other i feel like

i did see this and i know that photo haunts me literally it was like i went to serious xm like one day my first summer of summer happened by the way sometimes you do press you don't know there's a you don't know there's a Getty photographer there.

I was also like, where did you find this picture on the internet?

Yeah.

That's a crazy picture.

I was also 25 and when I was smiling, my lips, it didn't look like my lips were thinner.

And in the picture next to it, I was like, that's a Photoshop picture from someone.

Also, you had like full glam.

But it is fun.

There was a moment I almost, I almost got in the comments.

I never do that.

I look at someone with like, you know, Giggle Swede, they stopped talking about getting work down.

They probably started to get work done.

You guys know this.

That bitch.

Who was that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

But I do have to say, for however vain you are,

you haven't gotten a a facelift yet.

And you know, Chris Jenner's been looking good.

No, that, what is that facelift?

I'm getting that.

Tell that lady in the comments.

Wait, 10 years.

I did say that.

To put my face in a photo of me from the morning and the night.

It looks like I got plastic surgery.

I'm going to tell you something.

The only, I'm not getting plastic surgery because I'm like, I want to be better than people.

And like, this is like the stance I'm taking.

Not at all.

I would love love to inject myself with some shit.

Yeah.

My thing is, I'm too scared about doing the research of who I should go to because I genuinely don't trust anyone.

I've gone to some of the best dermatologists ever.

I've gone to some of the best doctors.

And guess what?

They've all like fucked up certain things because they're all humans.

And it's just one thing.

I'm not

going to gamble on yet.

Do you know who you can trust?

God.

Yep.

And God made you perfectly.

Imagine if giving you a bad person.

God makes no mistakes.

Turned into like a religious podcast.

A faith-based podcast.

And that is why.

Like one day we were just like, actually.

And that is how the cookie crumbles.

In 1113,

Mesediah said,

go across the water and get the fish.

And when you question, how do I get that fish?

You get that fish.

Because that's what Mesedia did.

We could have been religious without being southern.

I don't think it goes that way.

I think you go full Joel Olstein.

If you're quoting scripture, you better have a twang.

Can I say something controversial?

You know, I never want to out a man.

Joel Olstein's gay.

Oh, well, I don't think

people don't out.

I think anyone with general common sense and two eyeballs.

Unless you're doing stand-up, which still could be gay, if you're a man that wants to get on stage and perform to that extent, Joel Olstein.

No.

Comedy is the only time it's excluded.

The only time.

Because I'm also laughing.

Yes.

If you're a man getting up anywhere on a platform,

you may not even have a microphone in your hand and you're speaking to the people about anything.

Shut the fuck up.

And you, like, I understand presidents are men, which, you know, that's an issue.

But last time a woman wrote the speech, you know, they're just reading a speech.

And it's also like, what are people here for?

What are you guys all here for?

That's why we love Chris.

Chris is sitting, listening to us.

His only job is to sit there and listen to us.

And he laughs.

And he laughs and he learns and he grows.

And he learns.

And most importantly, and he learns.

And as Marilyn Monroe would say,

live, learn, grow.

One final thing.

By the way, I did a photo shoot with Glamour.

A la Page of Sorbonne.

You looked gorge.

Thank you.

Where was that?

It was like in a hotel.

And

I ended up in the bathroom as I do.

We were like trying.

I was like, guys, we're going to the bathroom.

But they're funny.

They're like, let's not do the toilet stuff.

And I was like, okay, I respect that.

I respect this.

I respect your brand.

The quote, there is nothing more humbling than a brand telling you that your brand is like too crass.

They're like, maybe if you could not.

I'm like, oh,

you don't like the way my mother presses this.

I was wearing Chloe and Tabitha My Saz was looking at me and I was looking at the toilet and she's like, don't do this.

Don't do this to us.

She goes, We've been doing so well.

We've been doing so well.

And the fashion community is starting to take notice.

And you're like, What if I just,

oh, I wore Michael Kors, too.

Yeah.

Haven't heard from him yet.

Yeah.

But like, it was such a great article written by Stephanie Beniel.

Shout out.

One of the quotes that was pulled, I was reading it and I was like, Hannah, you made.

zero sense in that quote.

It basically was like, just make sure that you're being you and you will always know that you can be you.

If you're question who you is, then you is you.

Put it on a shirt.

Man,

You know every time you read yourself in an article, you're like no that doesn't make sense.

Yeah, I can't well you can't read anymore

Any updates

we had Special merch that we were selling on tour that was only on the road you could only get it when you went to a club giggly show

We've now realized we want to make it available for the public because the tour is over and we loved it.

So we're adding a go with it.

We're adding some inventory and it's now available at giggly squad.com.

Also, not to add to the chaos.

I don't know why I was going to say, or wherever you get your giggly squad merchants.

Like that's literally one place.

People sell a lot of money.

Or wherever you get your podcast.

Also, I'm announcing my tour.

It's going on sale.

Wait.

I'm going on tour.

Can we talk about your fucking tour poster?

I haven't even officially dropped it yet.

Well, I accidentally DM'd someone else because I thought I was DMing you.

Someone posted your tour.

Oh, yeah.

Some of the venues are like promoting it.

Yeah, and I go, oh my god, stunning.

And then I realized that it was just like, I was like, sorry.

They're like, wow, she's really hyping your friend up to like other people.

She goes, wait, how good looking does my friend look in this photo?

They literally thought I was DMing that.

That was the first, well, I kind of, yeah, it's the first time I did that.

I've done like a full promo for a tour.

I love it.

I had did the extensions, did the suit.

The extensions are, you're different.

It's called the None of My Business Tour.

I love that.

It's definitely like more personal.

I talk about how it came to be.

And

yeah, it's every city, pretty much.

Ever.

Are you laughing?

I didn't know what the pitch was.

How I the city.

It's every city that exists.

Every city ever.

That ever was been.

That anyone's ever been to.

Yeah, including.

I'm going to Nebraska for the first time.

I thought you were going to say Alaska.

And I was like, I actually think that's one you can sit out.

Like, are you kidding?

They don't even have flat.

With New York in the state that it's in, we can't.

We love you guys.

Oh, lastly.

Our YouTube episode just dropped.

When we went, it was one of my favorite episodes.

Yeah.

We went to, we learned how to play baseball.

I was very into you as a player, making it big.

You weren't into it.

But you love your outfit.

I love my outfit, too.

I had a great time.

And you could do hit, kitten, hails or anything if you believe in it.

Marilyn Monroe.

Last thing.

We should start off the pod going.

Last thing.

Last thing.

This is actually the last thing.

You know how I went and spoke at my college and then it closed?

Yes.

I'm going to speak at my high school tomorrow.

So let's just say a prayer that doesn't close after.

Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony.

We, I'm so excited for you.

I'm so excited.

They're doing their like seniors get like inducted into the alumni.

And so this one senior reached out and asked me if I would be her sponsor.

We and so I made like these little like like PR gifting boxes to give like four of the girls that I meet.

It's so cute.

We're so cute.

Also, tell the Gen Z to say hi.

My people.

I also haven't been back to my high school since the day I grew up.

Wait, you're going to get a weird feeling.

What I remember is it's so much smaller than you remember it.

Not that they were that much taller than we were, but like

the school felt like huge.

It's like when you walk into a kindergarten class, you're like, this is my cubby.

I'm like, why is this door so low?

The toilets are the principal.

I'm like, you're so short.

No, it's going to be so much fun.

I hope that the school doesn't get canceled.

Thanks for giggling with us.

We love you so much.

Bye.

I use Uber Eats for everything.

And of course, I'm ordering food all the time, but I don't just order food on Uber Eats.

I order everything.

I order from the pharmacy.

I order hair care items.

I order alcohol.

Whatever I need, I'm ordering it on Uber Eats.

Also, Also, whenever I go to a hotel, I always seem to forget something from home.

So I'm ordering hairspray.

I'm ordering bobby pins.

I just can't live without Uber Eats.

You can get grocery, alcohol, and everyday essentials in addition to restaurants and food you love, of course.

So in other words, get almost...

almost anything with uber eats order now for alcohol you must be legal drinking age so please enjoy responsibly product availability varies by region see app for details if there's one thing Abercrombie knows, it's denim.

They know how it should feel, how it should look, and all of their staple denim fits are always ahead of the trend.

Abercrombie's viral curve love denim fit has additional room through the hip and thigh to eliminate any waist gap, and the classic fit you know and love with a straighter line from waist to hip.

This is the way denim should feel.

Confident, easy, and like your butt has never looked better.

Shop Abercrombie Denim in the app online and in store.