Giggling about diners, demotions, and shaved heads

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Sup, gigglers, Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my Guggenheim gigglers. Yeah.
We're cultured. You knew I was going to say that.

It's DJ Dash Hound and DJ Dachshire to party. Whenever I come to do the pod, because you live on the Lower East Side, I am put together like a Lower East Side, like outfit.

You love dressing for the part.

You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.
I wake up thinking I'm a Barbie. I'm like, what is my profession today? What am I? What is my vibe? What is my outfit?

You're a lower east side cool girl. Yeah.

I love how you brought this up. I walked in and Chris was like, what's the pants situation? Never seen that before.
Is that a scarf? Is that a one-piece? He was very intriguing. I was very curious.

I feel like Chris has learned so, like, Chris has been to Giggy Squad University and like, you're, you've almost graduated, not yet.

I don't think you ever graduated. No, you don't.

It's a multi-level marketing. I've recently met people that know Chris like on their own accord.
Oh, I didn't know he had other things. I thought he was so highly of him.
Really?

I didn't know he did things outside this room. I thought he lived here the whole time.
Yeah, I thought he just waited for us with his legs swinging, like excited for us to come in.

You're going to come back next Monday.

Side note: I was trying on sunglasses today because you just brought sunglasses and I put them on. They were like kind of big.
And Grace looks at me and goes, It's giving Kate plus eight.

When I tell you my wait, my she read me to fill. I've been

yeah, do you want to know why?

Because you've been socializing all weekend

while I was alone in a hotel room

sending me copy copious amounts of voice messages.

And guess what? I was sending them because I wanted the tea. You're out in New York City running around.
I'm alone in a hotel room in Buffalo, which shout out to Buffalo. But I'm

not sure if you kept calling Boston. Who told you that? Who told you that? No, you guys, my worst nightmare happened this week.
I was going through a lot this weekend alone. And I'm sending.

I had so many DMs. Hannah just called all of us Boston, but we're actually in Buffalo.
Ha ha ha ha ha. Miss you.
Okay, I wasn't going to start with this, but here we are.

I was peeing as one does. You look so pretty today.

I love when you give like old money. I love when you wear a designer.

You know, we haven't been in the studio. Whenever we're in the studio, we want to make out like we love each other.
And then on Zoom, I'm like, what do you want?

What do you want from me um so i'm peeing before my show now the way my shows work is i have an opener caroline banowitz who's amazing and she does this song about dick pics as her like finale song okay so once the dick pic song goes i know like okay be ready i haven't gotten a dick pic in

i mean years that's why we're at peace

Even when and then when people show me other their dick pics that are being sent to them, that's like more abrasive. One time I had a this is so bad.

One time I had a boyfriend and we literally broke up because I couldn't stop sending dick pics to other people.

I thought you were going to say you. That got so much sadder.
I was like, you really have to stop. And he was like, but I'm not like saying it's like,

I don't know what you're talking about.

He was like a classic, like you didn't see that. And I'm like, I literally experienced it with my own body.
And he was like, no, you didn't. He's like, I've never been on a date with them.

I don't tell them I like them. He's like, what are you talking about? You didn't.

Share the art of my shaft.

I heard guys use 0.5 now. Anyway, so I'm like peeing, and there was a photographer there, and we start yapping.

Normally, I'm like alone in my green room, yeah, um, because you're not there, and it's just my open-eye on stage, and I'm like, ready, so I'm yapping, yappy, yak, yapping, yakking.

Suddenly, I hear the crowd start clapping, and I go, oh my God, I'm on, but I haven't been like, like, like, I don't know, like, ready mentally. So I'm like frantic.

And I, like, in these theaters, I had to, like, run down a hallway. Yep.
No one came and got you?

No.

Not all the theaters are that organized. Okay.
It's really a lot.

There's one thing happening there. It's you going on stage.
What do you mean? Because I think we weren't like that far.

They're only there for you. But I also think they're like, Hannah, you have one reason to be here.
So you should be ready to go.

The other one went. We don't know.
I don't know what's going on. Don't look directly at me.

So I like sprint down the hallway. It wasn't that long of a hallway.
Uh-huh. And I get on like perfect timing.
And I look at her, and I can tell Caroline can't tell.

Because to leave your opener without you coming on is like not okay. That's super embarrassing.
Where they're like, okay, where is she? Yeah.

Once I got stuck in the elevator. But otherwise, I'm really fucking good at being prepared for it because that's the only reason I was there.
Right.

So I get on stage and I was not giving myself excuses, but I was a little bit thrown. I was a little frantic.
I was feeling anxious. And I grab the mic and you hear the energy.

And I just go, What the fuck is up, Boston?

And as I'm saying it, I realize, okay, there's two ways to go about this. I could just hope that they didn't hear that.

I could just continue on like nothing happened and gaslight them to think they heard it in their head. We're now in Boston.
But yeah, we're in Boston.

Or I say what we're all thinking, which is I just called all you guys Boston. So obviously I went with the latter and I was like,

I am so sorry. And also Buffalo, by the way, is the most

like they are a tiny town that has their own football team. Like they are the most proud town in all of probably the country.
Yeah. So the fact I said, hello, Boston,

I could have gotten stoned. They live through full-on tundras.
Yep. And they don't complain at all.
Nope. They're just sweet.

They live in Alaska

and they don't care. And

they're happy about it. And they're like, we see the sun for 48 hours once a year and we're good.
I thought upstate was Westchester growing up. Turns out it's not.
It's Buffalo. No, it's really not.

And so in that moment, I like you, for the next like five minutes, I'm doing like the beginning of my show and I'm just repeating it in my head. Like, was it as bad as, yeah, that was really bad.

I couldn't believe people were coming to tell me. They're like, oh, my God.

You gotta hear this. You know, you're like, Anna's so stupid.
You're Front Road Fashion Week. And people are like, your friend is just so fucking dumb.

But the best was when I got off stage, the messages were so funny they go boston loves you thank you so much for coming to boston we do love boston best show ever um i haven't done a show in buffalo

you have to it's it was incredible like it was like 1700 girls all messaging me making fun of me how'd you get there i had to actually fly to rochester and then we drove because i had a show in rochester the night before anyway meanwhile i'm in the i'm struggling

and i'm sending you some stuff and i see i'll if i see photos of you, I need a story. Yeah.
I need to know how we got there, who you saw, whatever. And she's not giving me anything.

So I started making up voice notes. I was like, hey, I got to tell you about something.

Hannah sent me some of the most incredible voice notes this weekend. And here's the thing.
Couldn't tell you what they're about. No, I couldn't either now.

But at the time, I was like, oh my God, like I saw them come in. And I did, wait, this is the funniest thing.
I'm at a shoot all day Friday. I'm with Treza May.
We're doing stuff all day.

I get two voice notes from you back to back. Two double two minuters.
I'm like, oh my God, let's freaking go.

Now, like, with the update of the phone, you know how you can click see more and it's like written out. Oh, yeah.
So I'm like around people. So I'm not like just going to play your voice.

Hey, do you want to hear what Hat was saying?

That would be a death sentence. Diabolical.
Who knows what kind of thing? I'd never work in this town at all.

So I'm like, I click it and I'm reading it. And someone comes from over my shoulder and they're like, oh my God, what is that?

And like, first of all, hippa.

No, that is such a hippo. And, like, second of all, let a girl get a voice note from her friend and know that it's not appropriate to listen to you right now in this moment.

But I couldn't, I had to know what the gist was.

This is the problem with being friends with a public figure: is that she's either locked away in the safest, most private place where she can be like ballasting your voice notes, or she's surrounded by a full team of 12 people and everyone who's ever worked in Hollywood.

So you just have to pray.

I don't remember what I said, but it was literally to be like, you respond to be like, these are the best voice messages I've ever heard. And I go, okay,

I wanted you to respond with a voice. I know, but I didn't have the time.
And honestly, I didn't even have, I didn't have any good gossip to give you.

But what people don't talk enough about with voice notes, like when you're

like, I know when you're about to start laughing about something.

So listening to a voice note, like just know when you're recording it, I'm laughing at the same time. Okay.
And I think that's important for you to know. That like warmed my heart.
Yeah.

Also, I have a paranoia that I'm going to be like really good like two minutes into a voice note and then fuck up like two and a half minutes in. And like, I'm a performer.

Like I don't like, you're fine with the coughing. I don't like too much, but you're a cougher.
You're an adult. Well, you should hear like when I send ads to Grace.

Also, you're like, sorry, I need a minute. When you record the ads, not to, you know, shit, well, how the sausage is made, you press record and then you record like all the ads.

I have to record it one by one because I'm convinced I'm going to like knock over my recording. I'm on there for like 25 minutes.
My voice.

I feel like Grace has heard me on the phone with my mom, but I stop and do like my own thing.

You go, wait, my therapist is on the line.

There's been times where

I'll go on Instagram for like five minutes and I'll be like, oh shit, I'm doing ads. Like, Grace, sorry.
God forbid you, like, just send her two files or more than one file.

I don't want her to have to open that much. Okay.
You know, I want her to get one each. My thing with the voice notes, I'd rather send like 10 one-minute voice notes than one 10-minute one because

I think it's easier to consume. But that's just my process.
I have a girlfriend who we don't speak often. Like, we speak quarterly, honestly.
We catch up and then we move about our lives.

Q3 is when we follow up. A couple days ago, this bitch sent me a 15-minute voice note.
I mean, the updates were completely necessary. I literally got an update on her entire summer.

Wait, that's a standing ovation at the corner of the day. I literally did laundry.

I set it down and I was like,

you're

unfolding. I'm like, oh.

But doesn't the phone sometimes stop playing it? Because the phone goes. Goes out.
Yeah, and I have to like... No, it's a whole lot.
Was it better than mine?

No, it was more informational. Okay.
I'll say. Which, honestly, I validate it.
Definitely more factual.

It wasn't as opinion-based. Definitely cohesive.
Definitely full sentences were formed.

We have so much to talk about.

Shall I begin with one? Oh, no, you have. It's coming to you.
I shall begin. Yes.

I shall.

The flow is yours. The flow is yours.

So stupid suck. Wait, not right now.
We're not talking about this right now.

But I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary because I knew you were going to talk about it. So in a later, at a later time, we'll dive into it.

But I just want you to know going into it, I've seen it clock it. Okay, that's made me very excited.

This is a voice note from Paige, by the way. She coughs.
She tells you what she's going to talk about, then forgets what she was going to talk about.

A couple weeks ago, I get a message, a DM from Morgan Stewart.

Who is Lord our Savior?

You know, the best thing about my assistant is she's so Gen Z that, like, I bring up Morgan Stewart at least once a week. Like, I'm referencing her, and every single time I say it, she goes, who?

And I go, honestly, no, keep me young. Thank you.

I get a DM from Morgan Stewart, and I'm like, my life is made. We start like chit-chatting, whatever.
And then she goes, I'm having a dinner during fashion week, but not like a fashion week dinner.

And I totally knew what she meant by that. And I was like, of course.
For people that don't know, can you explain?

Like, she was having a fashion week dinner, but she was having a Morgan Stewart

dinner. Okay.
She wasn't having like a branded in your face. Yeah, like drapes.

She wouldn't have drapes and candles. She's not having fluorescent lighting.
She didn't have any fluorescent lighting. She obviously had a photographer.
Yes.

But like, it was very grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move off.

So I had never met her before in person.

I didn't know that. Yeah, so I didn't like know what to expect.
First of all, walk up to the restaurant, so chic, not a sign in sight, could have literally been walking into a dentist office.

They're like, private room is upstairs. So New York.
This French restaurant, it was called, I think it was called Les Vue. I was just like, yeah, Blair Waldorf goes here.
So I walk in.

She's the first person i see we hug we immediately start talking about glam so i'm like

no i'm home are you nervous i was very nervous but i wasn't nervous enough to take a beta blocker okay because i was like no i manifested this this is like this was gonna happen we knew it yeah i knew this

she literally just had her friends at dinner like it was

Me, Tinks, this girl, Sarah, Ariel Charnas, were like the only people that I feel like I knew knew from Instagram everyone else I was like oh that's your best friend yeah so it was like a fun funny dinner sounds like a bacherette party I had two cocktails which I never do that means you were in a good mood I will say I was the first person to leave

struck 10 15 I was like I'm literally I melt at 10 30 so I have to scratch I live on the upper west side which is basically Europe so I have to go now here's the other thing you had to beat the traffic dinner was on the dinner was uptown

And that's how I knew I was like, I'm in the right place at the right time.

Right place at the right time. All the kids, our dads are downtown.
They're doing their thing. They're walking through punks.

Being punks. They're being literal punks.
Okay. And I'm uptown at a mommy and me.

And then I'm going home. I was uptown too, but I was in Boston.

But she was the best. It was like just a chic, cute dinner.
I love her. We all got a belt.
And it was like amazing. People don't talk about belts enough.
No. Belts are never in the conversation.

And then one day you wake up and you go, oh no, this outfit needs a belt and you don't have one. Yep.

I hoard belts, actually.

Speaking of accessories, I have a hot take.

As someone who's, I don't know if it's because I'm anxious or

possibly ADHD. Or just I get overwhelmed easily.

I can't do bracelets. There's too much

sensory overload.

When I wear a bracelet, I'm like, I walk into a room and I'm like, oh, your bracelet. I try talking.
I'm like, are you looking at my bracelet?

You're the girls that wear the same necklaces every single day. And my thought is, are you showering in them? Yes.
And sleeping in them? Yeah, you are.

Because that would, we are not really jewelry gow. No, like when I got engaged, I was like, cool, I don't wear rings.

You guys, I don't wear my wedding ring. I don't want it.
I don't want my wedding ring. I don't wear my wedding ring because I started getting rashes.
I don't even know why.

And people like, are you not married? Eczema? Or like it was like... I think it's because when I wash my hands in so many different states, sorry, I'm traveling a lot.

When I'm in Boston versus Buffalo. Wait, are you going to blame like a water issue? Yeah, the water's different.
And I think I also don't dry my hands to the point every time. And

it starts getting red. Like I get a rash.
So I don't wear my wedding ring. No one needs two rings on their fingers.

That's prison. It's a prison.
And then when I wear, if you wear, God forbid I wear a bangle, I'm like, I can't focus on this conversation because my bangle's moving.

When I see the girls wearing like the hand chains.

My friend Madison plays tennis in her body chain. I'm like, I don't know how they're doing it.
Not to call her out, but it's like, it's,

it's like girls who wear sweaters that are itchy just for fun. Mm-hmm.

Like, I think bracelets or the girls who have stacked bracelets. No, I can't.
I could do that maybe for a look. I can't even.
We are, we wear studs.

Like, I love stacking jewelry and wearing a bunch of bracelets and wearing a bunch of rings for

30 minutes. But then when I get home,

get it off.

Also, when you can't get a bracelet off,

nothing more humbling. One of my friends had a bracelet on.
I'm not kidding for like four months. And she was like, well, because I couldn't get it off.

If the moment I knew I couldn't get it off, that's the moment I have to take pliers because I'm not going to live in my own prison that I've created. I'd start having a literal panic.

And then get it off. Also, I am wearing a ring right now that's like huge and I love it, but it's the only thing I'm going to think about this whole pod.

I know for a fact that you're cleaning out your apartment right now, and these are all items that you've recently found that you forgot.

And you put it all together today, and you were like, wait, cool outfit. Forgot I had it.

I know that's what happened because never have I once seen you walk in with earrings and a ring and like also a fit that I haven't seen in a while. Now that I'm fully exposed,

I feel fucking out of my face. I'm gonna go naked on this one.

I saw Jacqueline, our nail girl, after a full summer not seeing her, I opened the door and she was like, funny seeing you here.

I said, Jacqueline, do you know we talk about you on the podcast every single week? And she was like, yeah, it's really funny. And I was like, come in.

And then I said, Jacqueline, I need natural. Yeah.
And then

she went arguably to natural because I said, Jacqueline, you can give me like fake long ones. And she goes, no, you just cut it off.
So I lost privileges with her. She goes, I didn't even keep it.

Jacqueline could demote you. No, she demoted me.
Like, she tried with me. Yeah.
And is over my shit. And she said, I'm keeping your nubs nubby.
And this is what you get.

Sometimes Jacqueline will give me an option. She'll give me two options, right? But

I love that. I feel like she's secretly testing me because I know that she likes one of the options more.
And so sometimes I'll say one and she'll look at me and I'll go, the other one?

And then I'm like, wait, Jacqueline.

She doesn't say yes. She'll just nod and look back down.
And I'm like, I'm so scared right now. But also,

I haven't cut them, but maybe I did once and she hasn't forgiven me. But Jacqueline's back in my life.
Bad.

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Um, I also hung out with Vampire Weekend.

They're a band. Chris knows them.
Chris knows them.

How old are they?

I'm a Jamadonna, bouncer, bab down. An elephant.
Do they have another ballad of some sort? I'm not, I'm not. That one's not.

These guys, like, they're just in a band.

And this. What is it, vampire what? Weekend.
They're very, like,

they popped off 10 years ago. Okay.
So I was like, how's Tor, guys? And they were like, good. Where'd you meet them? At the airport.
Okay.

Because there's a girl in their band who's also a comedian who's like a genius and also does violin, Isabelle. Okay.

And she's. This is the most ADHD conversation I feel like I've ever been a part of.

I thought you were going to know who Vampire Weekend is, but we're going to be like,

do you even know me? Does that sound like something I would go with the fuck that is? Nelly? And I'm like, no.

I thought you were talking about Vampire Diaries and you were going to bring up that the star of vampire diaries just broke up with her shall we talk about nina shall we

she's having so much fun on instagram the rumor i mean on instagram that he cheated on her yeah then she did a tick tock that was like like iconic kind of basically like confirm it fuck you yeah yeah i think they were engaged for like five years i'm gonna be honest i never saw them together

yeah

This is all. And look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot name.

Sometimes I'm a huge fan of that. I didn't want to say it, but...
But they were taking it to the limit.

Like that one. This is the thing.
There are handsome gingers out there.

100%. And there are talented gingers out there.
And there are kind gingers out there. Yeah.

This one in particular, I think it's giving, she gave him too much confidence.

And that's what it has. Snowboarders need to calm down.
Like as a former skier,

when I was skiing, everyone was so polite. Excuse me, whatever.
Yeah, then I'd fucking die. I almost got murdered.

No, they come, they're all, they literally are like a group of 14-year-old snowboarders. No, like they rob you,

and then they steal your glasses, and then you're scared and freezing, and then they give you the finger as they go down every time.

I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like it.
They literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give me the finger,

Ski down and like take all the hot chocolate. I don't know.
No, like they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that like throw

eggs with nair in them. Like those are snowboarders.
Is that a thing? Oh, we got in the city. Yeah.
Oh my god, that's intense.

Yeah, so shout out to Nina. We love you.

Wow, your list

my list is crazy.

Oh, can we bring bring back a saying? Yeah.

Can we please start saying that shit's whack?

Like, can we say whack at least? I feel like... Like, that's so whack.
So whack. I don't know.
As I said out loud. No, I feel like I've said it recently.
Whack. Like, whack was my everything.

Everything was like, it's whack. It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z, like people making videos of like for millennials.
Like, hey, here's things we don't say anymore.

Here's things like that, like you said, that means the same thing here.

whack is such a great word to describe anything say i think feel the same way with swag oh yeah thank god for justin bieber

thank tgif what happened

tgif and not to bring up to panga she's out in dancing with the stars this year Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I think I'm going to watch Dancing with the Stars this year.

really i've never watched you're like i've never watched it either you're just like feeling are you feeling like old school reality tv did you actually oh okay i was like is that you're trying to get into like competition no it's more like first of all my tick tock is just full of all of them and then i realized they all do like incredible tick tocks yeah there's a gen z that works at dancing with the stars because these i'm no offense but these guys are dancing like training intensely they're not also coming up with like incredible tick tock strategies the social media team social media team is killing it.

So every day I'm like, I'm. That's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks and Gleb.
Like, I didn't watch the show. I think I might watch it.

Um, because there's also like more people that I like kind of know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get like people who were on a TV show like 20 years ago.
Yeah.

Or like an athlete that like broke his ACL and is like, doesn't know what to do. I love a like former athlete coming back to do something.
Yeah. And you're like, he has CT.
I hear a passion.

But he's figuring it out. Yeah.

So, like, I think I might watch it.

Okay.

And this is coming from. I might watch it.
It's so crazy because I might watch The Bachelorette this year. Oh, well, that is another level of time-consuming.
Oh, because of Taylor.

Frankie? Paul.

Oh, that's.

Wait. Okay,

that's Mormon.

I've been getting a lot of like nostalgia videos.

I want to bring back shopping from a catalog.

Like I, like, obviously it's being taken over by shopping online, but like, do you remember being young and your mom getting like the Victoria Secret catalog and going through and like circling like different things?

And then she'd physically

call

and order what she wanted. She was like number eight, seven, four, three, two.
Like I would fuck that up.

Like the women in STEM, just thinking about there was like a group of women ready to receive these phone calls from a group of women who are at home being like, okay, number eight.

This was an underground economy that people didn't know of. Yeah.
But what's crazy about those magazines is it was used two ways.

It was girls like us being like, mom, I really want this like crop top. Yeah.
And then just like men jerking off to it.

I didn't even think of that. They didn't have like that's disgusting.
Men didn't have porn back then. They had to like find magazines.

And or they had, yeah, they had to like draw it.

Men would draw boobs and jerk off to it from memory.

Why?

I really guess that never crossed my mind that like a 13-year-old boy back then like getting pumped for their mom to get like the summer Victoria secret catalog i was like going to look at it and i'm like why is it crispy why are the pages crispy daniel

wait that's so vile so vile i also had a friend who got in trouble because he was printing out like a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman yeah and his mom caught him like mid-print like what are you doing with this he got in like big trouble one time i was at my friend's house in like seventh grade and we were like playing in her basement and we found all of her dad's like dirty magazines

and i was just like wait what

also this is- Wow, that made my eye twitch.

This is TMA, TMI, but my brother was like 13 or 14. And he went to camp, and my parents got a call, and they were freaking out.
They were like, We have to tell you something. In his cabin,

one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen. And my parents were like, What did he see? Like, they really got scared.

And they were like, It was a photo of girls in bikinis. And my dad was like, Okay,

can you bring it back?

But I guess like they had to do. That's what he wanted to picture.
Let me see.

Let me see what he saw.

Also, when he was like, he saw it, they're like, he may or may not have seen a kid brought that in. But anyway, that was like what men were busy doing instead of learning about consent.

Do you think purple lettuce thinks it's better than other lettuces? Lettuce I. Yes.

Because when I'm eating purple lettuce, or a colored carrot,

You stop and you go, you're gorgeous.

If I have a tricolored carrot on my plate, your tax bracket has changed. My tax bracket has changed.
I know more languages than you do. Like, yeah.

I feel like the purple lettuce, like, knows, like, and it's always like curly in a way where it's just like,

like, you could put it on a dress and it always comes out of nowhere. Like, you're like gnawing on your rabbit food.
And then you're like,

who is she? Are you talking about like cabbage?

I don't know enough enough about the lettuce species to be able to.

What is the purple? I don't. Look, I'm showing this new thing.
I tried to eat salads last week. It didn't work.

Wait, I texted Grace like recently and she was like, sorry, Hannah's like not responding because she's in a Pilates class. And I was just like,

what?

I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour. I'm realizing that.
Before I go on tour. Oh, did you, are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11 p.m.? No.

Oh, you haven't stuck to it funny because last year we had to stick to it yep because well last year you tried to give me a caloric deficit and i was famished this year you're willy-nilly just ordering whatever don't know what town you're even in you're so stuffed i did get a really good mexican bowl on saturday the other day hannah sent me i was eating my feelings after i embarrassed myself in front of all the girls of buffalo hannah sent me and grace like in our group chat a picture of her like being out to brunch by herself.

Honestly, I'm such a like mom text. Like, you know, like when your mom's somewhere with your dad, like, we just like, we're at brunch, and it's just like the table.
Yeah, it's like, okay, but is dad?

You're so right. You're so valid.
I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't aesthetic and it wasn't cool.

But just from the photo, I could tell that whatever town you were in you found the most amazing diner a couple key things i could tell from the blurred amazing diner

the wooden table yep like a good wooden table they mean business when the condiments are already on the table because they know you're about to go in yep so when you have ketchup salt pepper.

They even have their napkins in there. Spicy stuff.
Also, when you order, you don't order anything. You just say, fuck me up, fam.

Also, do you know how you know it's going to be fucking good?

When the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin. Like, they're not just sitting on a napkin.
Don't get a cloth. Not a cloth.
But also, I don't want just a napkin sitting.

I want it like they had, they're going so fast that they're just. Have you ever seen someone wrap those up and then put the thing up? No, is it like people doing dominoes boxes?

No, it's like they can go so fast. Also, this place, it was in San Francisco.
They also had juices, which like...

also, I want a plastic water cup. And I want it to be so abnormally big, like, there's no way I could finish it.
And discolored. Discolored.
Cloudy.

And yeah, I got pancakes for the table. And by the table, I meant my table.
Yeah.

Oh my god, my eyes like really twitching. There's like pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up.
Okay.

Hillary Duff.

Getting back in the studio.

Well, you know what?

I don't want to bring up an old rivalry,

but I would say

we are watching Lindsay live her best life, look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday.

They had like redone Mean Girls. She went to the premiere.
She's just like, she's on every cover. She looks phenomenal.
People are like,

she has Verizon ads. She lives her life in Dubai.
She's a mom. No one was bringing up Hillary Duff.

And I think maybe she's going to have a resurgence because not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there was some inspiration. Certainly not pitting women against women.
Although I just did.

But I do find it ironic that they did have a beef back then. And now they're both.

I'm so sad for that. Yeah.
The millennials are excited. Grace, do you like remember Hillary Duff at all?

Yes. Yeah.
What do you remember? Like Like

Cadet Kelly. Cadet Kelly.

Okay.

Yeah. Like Lizzie Maguire.
Lizzie Maguire.

Okay. I feel like I loved Cadet Kelly.
Loved Cadillac. I feel like I like loved Camposible more.

So you. I also did all the Disney double team movies.

Whenever there was like a sport and the girl came in, I was like, see, I loved like Lindsay Lohan clue, like, gotta get a clue. Like, she was in, she was wearing clue outfits.
Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, anywho. Another pop culture topic.

Nev

from

the catfishing show

is now. Is it Neve?

Neve. Yeah.
It's Neve.

Is it Niamh?

I think he goes by both.

Because Neve. I think he's not picky.
Neve is also an Irish name spelled N-A-I-M-G-P-H or something.

I want to say it's Neve, but

who am I? Neve? Buffalo,

Boston.

He is in real estate now. He just announced.
Very casually, like on a city bike, he's like, if anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate. Wait, what happened to Catfish?

I think it's done. It's done? Yeah.

But maybe he always had a passion for homes. Like, maybe the whole time he didn't really care about what we say about real estate.
No, I'm going to do it. You're in a dark place.

Wakes up and says, I'll be a real estate agent today.

Maybe he's going through through NFL players who are one bad day away from really loose net.

They got to buy a building or something. For people who are like

people, people, like talking to people and they have like connections to the industry, it could help. I'm actually not going to knock it because

we support men in the arts. No, I support having like a normal job.
He spent

so much of his life being a TV host and like being in the public. Do you know how he got famous? He was catfished and did a documentary.

Yeah, so I feel like the last 20 years, he's been in healthcare. He probably wants something that's like

a little more structured, maybe. Like he's not really traveling that much.
It's like chill. People know him.

People would like walk in and see a familiar face and probably like want him to be his real estate agent just because of that. Yeah.
Honestly, I take my

apartment. You know what? I'm moving.
You'd be such such,

there's another life where you live like in Kansas and you are the it girl of real estate. Like every single bench in that town is you.
And you're wearing a power suit. The best way to do it.

Like no one's ever seen. Your glam is incredible.
No one's ever seen you without full glam. They call me penthouse page.

And there's no penthouses in Kansas. That's really sexual, actually.
That's...

That actually sounds like my OnlyFans page. I take that back.
Parkway Page. Nope, not still that good.

And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients, but I've thought about real estate, and you know what knocks me down every time? I'm not doing math in my adult age. Oh, yeah.

I've moved on. I'm past that.
Do you have to do math? You have to know square footage and move. And like, you have to know, like, there is numbers.
And I'm like, actually, no.

Did you watch Selling Sunset?

Not really.

I like don't like if I'm watching a real estate show, it's because because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. Like I do find that interesting.

I don't care about like the real estate agent drama.

It was a lot of like them getting out of the UConn SUV slowly so they could see it's a lot of arrivals and departure. Should be arrivals and leave it.

There's nothing Netflix reality shows love more than arrivals. And a non-copyrighted music background.
A strut. She's that slow.
She's a strut you want. You're just act sexy.
See, Netflix will.

It's hard for a slow strut.

You can't really know what's going on. Or it's not slow, but they go slow-mo.
Yeah.

So I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said, I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch.

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So the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy.
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How's your fantasy football team doing? Thank you for bringing that up. It's not, We're not done with like this weekend of playing, but I played Taylor Strucker's wife, who's pregnant.

And I beat that bitch.

I said, oh, you're Hermana. You're busy growing a baby.
Look,

come winners play. And losers lose.
What do we decide? Taylor Donahue. Like, look,

come for the beast. You're going to get eaten.
That's what they say. Like, big dog got to eat.

She's like, I'm literally just trying to, like, like. She's also like, I don't even want to play in this league.

I'm texting her. I thought it was something funny.
I literally texted her, like, the mom from the documentary. I'm like, you stupid bitch.

Why would you pick that running back? Are you fucking stupid and dumb and ugly? Wow, are you going to know how to parent your kid? You can't even parent this team.

Who's putting you in charge of anything? Wait, I love Taylor. And we're being

love the Taylors. I want them to adopt me.

The Taylors are like, Taylor Shaker's why I got into podcasting. So anyway, and Taylor Donna, you edited Burning in Hell for like three years.

People don't know that. She likes to be behind the scenes, but I just put her up last on my podcast.
So is your team overall doing well? You know, who's also in my league? Andrew Collin.

Last year I said like I was going to do this league with you. I think just is that my fault.

I forgot. No, I thought of it like when everyone was like, oh, I have my fantasy draft next week.
And I had a moment where I was like, should I do it with him? Did it It takes zero effort.

Well, then I remembered that, like, I really don't care. Yeah.
But you'd be so surprised. It's like the girls who go on The Bachelor who are like, this guy is ugly.
I don't care.

And then you see like eight girls get worked up about him and suddenly you're like, if he doesn't want to marry me, I'll like free. It would go one of two ways for me.

I'd either be like so into it and competitive and be like refreshing all the time or

like a Tamagotchi and I'd forget I had it. Yeah.
And be like, my Tamagotchi note. The thing is, you get like notifications.
Okay. So it's basically me just feeding my

high for temporary happiness.

So like if a guy gets a touchdown, it's like, you just got 12 points. And every week, it's, it's all luck.
What do you win at the end? Some money, but it's not about the money.

It's about the love of the game. And it's about

telling you not gonna be. No, no, no.
But like when you, when I, like, Andrew Collin had a better draft than me, and he was all like, ooh,

that's how he talks. Yeah.
And

I'm like, I'm ready to play him. You are.
Andrew, I'm coming to you. You were really close to winning last year, right? I was close to winning.
I remember that. But thanks for bringing that up.

Because guess what close to winning is? It means you're a fucking loser. But

it's really like yelling at guys for like spraining an ankle. Like, if a guy sprains an ankle, he like ruins your score.
And I'm like, look where you're walking, bro. Yeah, I get that.

Speaking of

the Chiefs are,

the Chiefs lost their first two games, which is kind of crazy. Wait, did you see Taylor Swift had to walk in with like she like walked into the game behind the

bulletproof something? Like walked behind something?

I don't know. Very scary.
Very scary.

And no one was able to see her in the stadium. I don't think so.
Yeah. Can I say something controversial? Yeah.
There's a girl on TikTok, because I'm back on TikTok, who

shaved her head,

but didn't like ask her husband for permission. Okay.

And then he saw it and said, I'm not attracted to you. You have to wear wigs around me.
And the internet is a gasp. And like, I'm going to be honest, it's giving G.I.
Jane chic. Like,

when a girl shaves her head, it's not even about whether you look good or bad. It's like the confidence you exude.

It's clearly a look. Maybe ask your wife if everything's okay

rather than just hitting her with like, don't speak to me. No, he's literally like, don't speak to me.
I'm not attracted to you, and marriage is about attraction. And it's like, this is.

I bring up the word bangs, and you're immediately like, and is everything okay at home? Yes.

Yes. I mean,

so everyone's mad being like, fuck this guy. But yeah, I think the first sign was not that he isn't talking to her.
I think it's that she thought about shaving her head.

It's not that shaving your head's a bad thing, but when you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life. Yeah, like something's going on.
She

hated her. He just proved

that they don't like each other if you are staying with someone look i've had so many boyfriends that walk in with the dumbest haircut where i look at them and i'm like the fact that i'm associated with you pains me right now but then you take a breath and you go it'll grow out We're good.

I think there's a lot of times on TikTok like where girls will post something about their relationship or like their boyfriend will literally be in like the back of the TikTok, but he's not like smiling ear to ear.

And people are like, he hates you.

And it's like, he probably doesn't he's like doing it but then there are times where it's so apparent that where it's like you got to get out of that relationship my thing where i always i feel like notice it is and only because i had a boyfriend once who like was obsessed with talking about this and i was like you have like mental issues if you want to shove cake in your wife's face i i think that you are one of the people you hate women you hate women yeah you are on a misogynistic level that that you actually don't even realize.

Are we talking like wedding day? Yes.

Like, I had a boyfriend who would actively, I'm not kidding, argue with me that if he, if I didn't let him smush cake in my face on the wedding day, that like I wasn't fine. That's not even a thing.

Like, I was like, but that's not in the Bible. But, like, why would you ever want to take your hand?

No, no, I've never said anything that you need to, it's you're supposed to feed it to each other. Leave the cake out of it.

Why would you ever want to take your hand and smush it into my face like that on an aggressive level? No, also, you're ruining the glam.

Also, the day I have glam, we're only here so that I can get the shot. I want my husband to barely kiss my lips because he knows that he doesn't want to mess it up.
Like, give me an air kiss.

Give me an air kiss. Wait, the smash of the face, that's not funny.
And so, that's something that I always had, like, such a visceral reaction to.

Like, whenever I see that on TikTok, where like they put cake in each other's mouths, I'm like,

no, I don't like it. No, not at all.
Well, if there's one thing, if like the two of them are like, we're so, we're quirky. Yeah, we're doing it at the same time.
Open your mouth, you push a little.

Guys that are like smushing it and she's backing up. You know what it feels like? It feels like they're doing it for their boys.
Which is exactly what it is. We've waited long enough.

We have to bring up Charlie Sheen.

No, I've, I've been trying to watch it for the past three nights because I kept falling asleep.

How did you fall asleep during that night? I know. I was getting jolted.
Like by, I literally clutched my pearls. Yeah.
And I've seen a lot in this life. So many, I was aghast.

I was going, oh, no, there were so many things that I was just.

If you haven't watched it,

it's phenomenal. First thing I want to point out, the editing of it.
Spectacular. Spectacular.
The cinematography. The cinematography.
Spectacular. I liked how it felt like you were like on a.

Put anyone in a diner chatting. They're going to give it up.

That's why.

Put people in diners. Suddenly they lose all privacy.
Yeah. And they're just like, let me pull it out.
That was my biggest note about it is this man did not have to say,

you couldn't water

some of that info out. He did not have to say, like, he could have said 10% of what he said.
And I would have been like, that's a great documentary about Charlie Sheen.

At one point, you could see they were like, hey, we're done, Charlie. He's like, what more did I do?

And I'm going to give you guys an example. This doesn't give anything away.
He tells a story about being really high on set, that his eyes were really heavy. Yeah.

And that finally the director like noticed enough to pull him aside and was like, you look like you're falling asleep during your scenes.

So I think he's going to say, oh, I'm going to do a snort some cocaine. Yeah.
As one would do.

So as Charlie would do.

He goes, I go get some ice, shove it up my butthole. Yeah.

And he says this dead pan. And goes back to the corner.

He was telling the craziest stories, but he was telling it to you as if he was like, I just went down to the deli, got a second sodas, and they're in the kitchen. Do you want one?

Like, that's how he was like, I took an ice cube, shoved it up my asshole, won an Oscar.

And then, sorry, I didn't mean to scream,

but I'm feeling a little motion. I don't know where Sean Penn, who, by the way, I've never even seen him give an interview before, shows up.

Something's going on there. He was.
Either he had something on him, he lost to that. Sean Penn, like Oscar-winning actor, is just like, can I say one of his quotes? Yeah.

He goes, you know, most guys, when they do cocaine, their dicks get weak.

Imagine doing cocaine and your dick gets stronger. That's Charlie Sheen.

The way I just said, what? The neuroticness of

this

documentary was so phenomenal.

I took away like a couple top tier things.

One,

Charlie Sheen has a phenomenal family. Sounds like his dad and his brothers, great humans.
Two, where's the mom? Why didn't they bring up the mom?

Didn't even...

Was there a mom? Well, that's what happens when the mom is not.

Where is she? Where is she kidnapped? What is she doing? In hiding, witness protection. I literally googled Charlie Sheen's mom, and she exists, but not one document.

Maybe she's just so private. But like...
That's crazy when you're married, your whole family is in the public eye.

I wanted the dad to be on more, and I wanted the brother to be on more and I wanted his kids on more.

Okay, you sound like a producer. Calm down.
She's like, I want his first child.

I want his HIV test. Denise still loves him.

Because, and you want to know what? I... I love Denise.
I do not fault her for a single second because when she tells the story of them meeting and hanging out, yeah, he was sober.

He was a normal person. And she probably still loves that version.
I don't remember fully from watching Beverly Hills, but she drops the F-bomb

every three seconds in the best way. Yeah.
No, I'm a big Denise Richards fan. They did her so wrong on that show, by the way.

They should have treated her with care and respect so that she had a long career on that show.

They were all jealous of her because she was a genuinely famous person. And the most beautiful woman to ever live.

And then come, she was a sex symbol and then was coming on the show and they all wanted to be and that's why she should have been protected yeah to not make her look crazy when she was getting attacked but um

the thing with the dad and the brothers and she was remarried to like a freak psycho is she still with him no they're getting a divorce thank god oh yeah he was like he was like a weird very strange very strange he was just like big jawline that was just a drawline yeah um strange man yeah strange man so charlie sheen goes my brother and my dad did not want to be in the documentary and i'm like, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want you to say that if they didn't want to be associated with it.

But I totally get that. They've probably been through so much and they just want to add it.

But it is a case of nepotism

for sure. However, he's kind of a genius.
Well, I was going to say, my other big takeaway is: how many chances do men get?

How many God did? I mean, this man ruined his life

more times than he was successful. And every time the general public and TV, he was in rehab being like having his agent being like, you can do any movie you want, they'll have you.

Like, if that was a woman or any other person,

the crazy story, which I was surprised he said, was about him and Nicholas Cage, which, by the way, I didn't know Nicholas Cage was like the biggest party boy.

Do you think Nicholas Cage is somewhere being like, oh,

some of his actors.

Nicholas Cage was not agree to be in that.

The stories he told about Nicholas Cage.

It made me, this is sick, but it made me like Nicholas Cage more. Well, you can now,

his brain's burned. Oh, I didn't realize you were that much of like a free.
So they go on an airplane. Nicholas Cage takes the mic and like tells them like,

they're going down. Which, by the way, where's the bit?

Where's the bit in that? So everyone freaks out. When they land, there's cops.
Yeah. And Charlie goes, well, good thing they were a fan.
And they were just like, don't do that again.

Imagine if a female celebrity did that. No.

Imagine if anyone did that. Like, if any other person did that.
Like, no, it's crazy. And then when he got to rehab,

how it...

They let him leave. Nicholas Cage texts him and says, hey, there's a bikini judging contest in Palm Springs.
And he goes, so I had to go to that.

He was like, hold on, let me get out of this rehab thing. And Nicholas Cage.

He told the lady, if I'm not back by 8 a.m., I'll give you a million dollars.

And he got back by 7.40.

I just think it's a great documentary. And the last thing that I took away from it,

push your mayon and he'll turn gay.

They all have the capacity to go to the other side. And I know that.
The way he described it was actually so iconic. He goes, you ever just eat from the same menu every day?

And then one day you're like, let's flip it it to the other side.

And the guy goes, do you regret it? And he goes, no, I wanted to taste the menu from the other side. But he didn't like say he was.

But he basically said that happened from because of, because he was getting off of crack.

And so that like felt good for whatever reason. And that's the first time it ever happened.
So he probably did so many drugs, his whole brain was like rewired.

Mm-hmm.

And I know some

that don't need crack. He won't be punished.

But it's also funny because he wasn't like, oh, I had to suck a guy's dick to get the water for the fire festival. Like, there was no threatening involved.
He was like,

I wanted to do it.

Which, by the way, the way he said it, though, was so.

He had a geneset guap.

I think he's by and like more men.

Should be able to, I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm obsessed with him now.
Like, I will give him another chance. I think he should get back to acting.

Here's actually, no, he actually shouldn't get back to acting. Here's one thing that no one said like the entire time.

I don't think his problem

really was.

I mean, he obviously had a lot of problems. He never got to the root of it.
He couldn't be famous. It was the fame.
It wasn't like the working. It wasn't the movies.

It wasn't like he had to get up early and memorize these lines. He could obviously do that so easily.
It was genuinely the fame.

He probably had so many people watching everything he did, talking about everything he did, wanted to see, like, and it got too much and no one.

But I also think people always say like, okay, if you have a problem with alcohol, there are all ways of coping with a bigger problem.

But like they never, they kind of made like his childhood seem like pretty good. I mean, yeah, his childhood seemed fast.
His dad was... an addict too and was going through stuff.

But yeah, the way his family stood by him to this day

and also him.

Even though he he is a good example of like you can fuck up so many times

and as a man Hollywood will take you back.

Yeah, but in terms of your relationships like you can rebuild you can try to rebuild and and he even though he wasn't there for his daughter is now like taking that time no it was a really good documentary.

I have to say one thing about um

that made me reflect on society a little

when he gets serious. Okay, no, but like when he's like him and Beacher are never serious on the bot.
Yeah, we are. Who's the task to be serious?

Because the second I am, people are like, I'm here for laughter. Make me laugh, clown.

I will.

So

he's like on crazy testosterone. He's addicted to like every drug.
Yeah. And he goes on his like hashtag winning.
Which I like forgot about that.

I remember it pretty clearly because everyone, he's going

like college. We were young, but he's doing all these like crazy interviews saying like the craziest thing because he's like so crazy on testosterone.
He's like, I got tiger blood.

And the way people responded was like, this guy

is awesome. People were like, he's saying all the things that we all want to say.
Put him in theaters.

Give him a marquee.

So when you see a very loud, crazy man, it doesn't always mean he's right.

No, it is crazy.

I wish they did dive into like the team that was around him at that time, like signing him up to sell tickets to shows and like

60 days in a row. That's when he started doing anal.

So would I?

So would I? How do we know if I know?

You know what? And I got it.

You need somebody to take that job. Paige goes.
And then we were in Denver and I took a beta block card. I shifted up my body and I went on stage.

The gigglers, they become desensitized, and they have to go.

Oh, God. I do have to say, I did have a woman stop me at the airport and said, hi, I have

a 21-year-old daughter, and I love what you guys do

to help her be confident in herself. So

don't listen to that part.

Now I'm like aware 21-year-olds are listening because, look, they keep us young.

Oh, there is a good show out called

Revenge, Love Con Revenge on Netflix,

which is from the girl who was swindled by the Tinder swindler. Okay.
Who's made her whole purpose in life

to help find other men who are conning women. Okay.
So it's kind of like

she's like almost like a private investigator? Well, she gets this private investigator, and what I'm obsessed with is it's a woman. So this woman goes, I'm like a dog with a bone.

I will stop at nothing. I want to hire a private investigator so badly.
You want to. But I'm like, I don't know what I want you to look into.

Like, but I need to find something. something no i like i want some i want to be like just look into it i just feel like something needs to be undercovered

you you want to be sitting in a in a van with shades on no i want to be like walking down the street and my private investigator calling me like i got something and you're like no be right over

why do i want that so badly and you want her to print out photos and put it in an envelope and hand it to you and you go thank you thought so I want to be like thank you I'm sending it to my lawyer

and then like my expert witness is just this gorgeous private investigator next time you tell me that you can't record in the studio because you have a UTI I'm gonna get my private investigator

and be like she's actually

she's at home in Albany and her mom's feeding her lasagna

do you know lasagna soup is a thing for fall um i have seen it i've never had it though it's kind of giving giving just like soggy lasagna i'm not gonna lie i had the best lasagna i've ever had in tuscany the other weekend do you want to know why it was so much better because it's in Tuscany.

But they like burnt it a little. Like, it was crispy.
You need to be too sweet. Like, it actually tasted like second day lasagna.
At the top, like. Also, I want the bottom too.
I want the crispy.

The whole thing was crispy. And I was like, you guys crush in here.

He goes, big fan of your work.

Like, no, they're right about you guys. Like, you're fucking crushing.
You like, you go, how's your Italian food look good?

All I think about anytime I go to a different country is, do you guys ever crave sushi?

Do the Italians ever think, like, you know what? All I want is some sushi hibachi. Is there no sushi there? I mean, I don't know.
Probably not a lot. I'm sure there was like one or two, but like,

you're never in Italy and you see like tacos.

And I'm like, wait, I want them to experience it more. But you know what? I feel like because the Italian's so good, they're like, why would we have like...

I know, but I'm like, don't you get sick of it? Don't they get sick of it

no because that's what they know that's who they are like imagine if you never tried diet coke you wouldn't crave it

or normal coke

you wouldn't even know no it's like charlie sheen with heroin yeah

how about it was a girl that got him into it that i didn't see coming a girlfriend

yeah which i don't like to blame the woman the woman and I would say, like,

he knew what he was getting into. I've never been offered heroin.

I've never been offered cocaine.

You're a loser.

No, I've had multiple conversations. I gotta go.
I'm like, why don't they like me? And they're like, you don't do cocaine. And I was like, how can they tell? People can tell.
They could smell it.

People just know. They just know.
No, I've never been offered.

I mean, look, I know people who know people. Yeah.
Who know a guy. Yeah, for sure.
So watch out. Do you think Charlie Sheen is going to have like a Pam Anderson revival of his career?

I don't know. I think this was more like, I have to make amends.
It's been so many years now. Let me tell you what happened back then.
It's taken me this long to kind of get over it.

Are you staring at my nails? Well, no, you were just like your long fingers were like in my face, so I had nowhere else to look. I was saying, or do you think he just needed money?

Because I don't know. Probably a little bit of both.
Yeah. But also, here's what I'm thinking.
He did have Martin Sheen as his dad. I'm sure he had a lot of money set up that he couldn't touch at all.

I don't know if he went through all of it.

I didn't realize he was the number one. He didn't have brand deals back then.
Right, but he was the highest paid TV actor ever. Well, he said he he ran out of his money.
Oh, he did? Yeah.

He was making 2 million an episode. I know.

I know. But

no, the Charlie Sheen lore, I'm just like obsessed with it. Especially if he was overwhelmed by all the fame and stuff and things started to go well.
I wouldn't be like, you know what, I should do?

Do a Netflix documentary right now. Anyway, it's a really good documentary.
It's a really good documentary. You guys got to watch it.

Thank you for giggling with us. I am in Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia.
Norfolk, Virginia, this weekend. And I have San Diego, a second show added, and Vegas and Phoenix.
Love you guys.

Thank you for giggling. Talk later.
Bye.

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