Giggling about nicknames, quadzilla, and the zeitgeist

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Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool.
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I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
What's up, my growly gigglers?

Look, I'm trying to get creative here.

Did you blow your hair out today?

I did do a little Dyson.

Wow, looks nice.

Thank you.

And I am wearing glasses today.

No, you look really pretty today.

They're fake glasses.

Oh, my God, thank you.

Wait, what are these white kitten heel pumps on your... V yeah no i spot i spot them from my peripheral there's so much crap in this room and page somehow saw the tiny kitten heel of is that a vintage shoe i think there's a vintage heel here what is it that is so it's literally under a pile of garbage and she's like cute wait cute no we were just i miss you so much wait no i miss you so much we've been praying for a weekend free and then the whole time i just like watched tv and missed page no literally netflix was like you've caught us like we're out of shit for you.
I watched everything that's ever been made this weekend. I finished it.
Are you ever like binging? Like you're doing a full rat day. Like you've been there for eight hours and you're like, oh, I have nothing else to watch.
Do you ever feel like I can't watch old stuff? Like if it's not new, I'm like, like I'll be hanging out with someone and they'll be like let's like throw on what's your favorite movie and I'm like unless it's new I'm not watching it I do have to say because I have an older man every now and then I like to experience his culture yeah and I say what's a movie that like you loved from back in the day that I've never seen and that's a fun experience for for us. Because also, you know how we just like know actresses, but we never know their like breakout role from like the 90s or the 2000s.
I watched Mulholland Drive last night. Have you ever, have you ever? Has it crossed your desk? I feel like I've heard of it.
I couldn't give you one fact about it. It's in the zeitgeist.
So it's Naomi Watts's breakout role you just wanted to say zeitgeist because you're wearing glasses yes and neither of us can spell zeitgeist what is a zeitgeist i feel like it's like something that's really relevant like culturally relevant yes yes like zeitgeist i feel like wait we are the zeitgeist we're that's our giggling is zeitgeist we just start using it inappropriately this movie if oh my god you should watch it sorry I like can't get comfortable I'm like squirming like a little I was dying laughing because the last episode you whenever I would talk you were having a coughing attack and then you also lost something at one point and you were just whenever I would talk you were looking for it and at one point I was like what are you looking for that was on And then you also lost something at one point and you were just, whenever I would talk, you were looking for it. And at one point I was like, what are you looking for? That was on Zoom.
That was on Zoom. I was like, nothing to see over here.
So Mulholland Drive, it got famous for this like sex lesbian scene with Naomi Watts and the other actress who I forgot. But it's like hot.
Damn, a rough day to be that other actress.

I'm so sorry.

Imagine it's like your breakout role and you just hear some Gen Z girl go,

sorry, I forgot her name.

You know what?

Out of respect, Chris, because I know you're regularly Googling the lesbian scene,

you're creep.

Can you tell?

He's playing it right now.

What's the name of the other actress? Sorry, what was the movie name? Chris, put your boner away. What was the...
Can you do your job for a second? What's the name of the actress? Movie name again? One more time. Mulholland Drive.
Mulholland Drive. No, we can't spell Mulholland.
So, look, I love movies that trick me. Like, I want to be tricked.
I love a twist. We were like, I really wasn't expecting that.
This movie is such an amazing trick that you will watch the whole movie and it finishes. And you're still like, that might have been the worst movie I ever watched.
And then you Google it and you go, I was completely tricked. That was the best movie I've ever watched.
Sorry for my long pause. I'm trying to think of how to even word this.
So unless you Google it afterward to find out the actual meaning, you're going to think it's the worst movie ever? Okay. And some would argue maybe that's a bad movie if you don't get it but like no one gets it but then once you realize it's very artistic is the ending kind of like a sopranos ending where people were pissed no the ending's incredible but the ending makes you realize oh what i was thinking the whole time wasn't true and now i have to rethink everything i thought about this movie but there's how points.
This is how I wake up in the morning. You know, just like, oh, everything I thought was actually a lie.
So let me let me rework it. We found out bananas are actually berries on the burner phone pod this week.
I think you guys should listen. It was a very fun episode.
Yeah. So that's my world's been crushed.
I have to rethink everything. Do we have the name of the actress yet? Yeah, the stars are Naomi Watts and Laura Haring.
Laura Haring. Shout out, Laura.
Laura, we hope you're doing well. She crushed it.
What did you? Shout out to my least favorite ex-boyfriend. Usually we shout out my favorite one, but my least favorite one.
Yeah. He actually, like in my mid-20-20s showed me so many movie like classic movies that i had never seen that like i do feel better than people when i'm like oh my god you haven't seen that it's a classic see i've never seen a movie before like i'm just like everything does says i'm like nobody's are you fucking kidding me? And then we sit down and it's fun.

No, this guy had a zeitgeist, if you will.

I love that.

Just like classic movies.

I love that.

So he really like upped my movie game.

I do have an uncle who's like obsessed with James Bond.

So I've seen like a lot of the James Bond movies, but I wouldn't say that really brings any value to the community.

Wait, speaking of like actresses, did you see Scarlett Johans um this past week say like why she doesn't take pictures with fans oh yeah she was like i'm not working no she said she gave a very gwyneth paltrow answer like i feel like people aren't like laughing at it as much as like it should be laughed at like when gwyneth paltrow said like consciously uncoupling yes she said that she doesn't take pictures with fans like out in the wild because wait let me get the exact quote because it's so good since we are accomplished journalists we're gonna get the quote right okay so she said she doesn't take pictures with fans because she doesn't want to be identified in this time or place with that person but that's so funny but part of me is like okay spy like who are you like okay part of me is like what a crazy way to think of it like that's such a like alien way to think of like yeah i don't want to be involved in this time or place with you yeah but also like i get what she's saying where she's like, I want to, I want to be like, I want to like live my life and not. People don't know where I am all the time.
Not know like where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm with. Like I get that.
But then some celebs live their lives where they want everyone to know at all times what they're doing, who they're with. Yeah.
For me, I wouldn't have the balls yeah to say that to anyone let alone like i would assume that her fan base is well actually she's been in like so many well she's been like marvel movies that like she probably does have a lot of men fan base marvel movies ruined it for her probably a girl coming up to me imagine just being like i don't want to be identified in this time or place with you a girl will come up to me at the airport take a photo and i look at her and i say i'm so sorry for that photo yeah like sometimes i really i can see them disappointed how bad i look in the photo they're like i can't use this fucking photo hannah i do know a giggler could come up and be like i need a kidney and i'd be like point to the new york's hospital where we going if you think about it like you don't see that many selfies with like kardashians celebrities you don't see you don't see where are all the selfies when was the last time you saw kim kardashian do a selfie with someone i think it's just they're like so protected and maybe if maybe on like press days they do but like wherever they travel they don't have to see like if i walked into a coffee shop in new york city right now and i saw jennifer lawrence yeah standing there yeah the last thing i'm doing is asking her for a selfie no no because i respect her well there are just some types of people who don't think like oh this is a human person who may if everyone asked her to get a selfie every time they wanted, that she couldn't live her life. But some people see a celeb and think they're the first person to ever see that celeb and are like, oh my God.
But also on the other hand, does it really hurt to just turn your head and be like, and smile? No, you know. I guess some people pick their boundaries differently differently i do have to think like when you're a certain level of celeb if you start with one photo then it becomes a full meet and greet at the coffee shop you know because then people are like oh you took a photo with them why not me and next you know you're like how do you get out kind of thing um and then it got me thinking about celebrity sorry i watch I watch a lot of celebrity documentaries.
Niall Horan. Yeah.
Did you hear when he was on One Direction that he had a point where he got so big he couldn't go anywhere? Yeah. But looking back at it, he's like, I also dealt with some paranoia that I thought that I would get swarmed anywhere I went.
And he's like, looking back, I might have not been swarmed, but I was so scared at the possibility of getting swarmed that I started hearing things and I couldn't leave my house. Stop.
And that's what happened to Justin Bieber. No way.
Well, I just added that at the end. I don't know if that's true.
But fame definitely hasn't helped. No, no.
And go full circle. Mulholland Drive is about Los Angeles and fame.
It really is. It really is.
I saw TikTok and the girl was like, she was quoting something and she was like, the stand, why has the standard for a wife stayed the same yet the standard for a husband has gone down and she was like think about it years ago like she was like my grandpa built my grandmother's house like okay she stayed in it and like made the house a home and like fed the kids and stuff but he physically built the fucking house now like any man he's like cool I'll call a task grab but women we have to also like do all the home stuff but then also do like the work stuff i would argue i want a man who is capable of being a present father yeah and by that i mean like bring the baby to my nipple i don't want to get up like someone who's waking up or someone who very involved in the parenting. I almost would rather, I mean, not that I should have to pick, but like I want a man who's more involved in like the cooking and the cleaning.
I do have to say. Really, I just want a housekeeper.
I just realized I want an assistant. Some of these girls who have done it right, they marry chefs.
The one thing, though, is chefs are, like, a lot of the time crazy people. Yeah.
Because their job is just, like, being in hot places, yelling at people, snorting cocaine, tattoos. Like, chefs are crazy.
And then sometimes they go home and they're like, I'm not going to cook you a meal. It's like me coming home and having to do a stand-up set for Des.
I'm like, you have to pay money for that. I don't do it for free.
I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches. I do have to say, I've dated guys in the past who have cooked, and it's been so hot and so fun.
I've never dated a man that legit cooks. The energy they put into barbecuing, put it into everything.
Put it into sandwiches. Put it into pasta.
Put it into steak. Get them really into making steak.
You have to trick them to be like, oh my God, I love that salmon you made. Yeah.
And then they like get passionate about it and then it gets part of their ego and then they're like obsessed with it. That's what it is.
Make it a part of their ego. Yes.
Chris is smiling. You've tricked them.
Right? And the second you make it and I go, oh my, wait. Oh, baby, I love your barbecue chicken.
It's so good. I go, my ex used to make it.
Disgusting. Disgusting.
And honestly, he had a weak wrist. He couldn't even like lift it to me.
You know what's so funny? I do that to my brother all the time. My brother is a phenomenal chef.
I love that for him. And I'll DM him.
You know, my brother is too. It's kind of crazy.
And we don't cook. I'll send him things and I'll, and I'll, and I think he's catching on, but he's actually not.

Like I'll actively be like, I wish you could make this, but like it's probably way too hard for you.

And I always think like he knows I'm fucking with him, but he doesn't.

And he'll be like, oh, so you think I can't make that?

Like are you kidding?

You're so stupid.

I actually can't make it.

When are you coming home next?

Because I'll make it.

And I'll be like, in two weeks.

And he will have made it.

And I'm like, you stupid fuck. Like you you're so stupid but i do it every time i once for my brother's birthday bought him like a steak thing like all these steaks yeah and he gets really into like oh like how high quality are these steaks and then i'll i keep buying him like things to make steaks with and like they love tchotchkes like if you get them a new knife like you can you can cut a pork chop with that knife yeah that you can make yeah make them feel like hunters you know that's why i'm like we're so much smarter and the joke of like men used to go to war is so funny to me just to wrap this up because my final thought is like men literally used to go to war like they would like get is it even a final thought if you don't adjust your glasses you know this whole time this whole time i can't see like i've been fighting for my life with these fake glasses because i like the aesthetic but like i feel blind i can't hear i can't talk i feel i have nothing left men used to go to war men used to like have their arm blown off and still run and like do what they had to do nowadays a man's going down on you and sees you're spotting slightly on your period and he's like I can't do it yeah yeah men used to go to war and you can't go down on me when I'm on my period grow up is that and that's a great final thought wait I'm so scared to ask you this because like you're gonna break my heart oh my god i'm so excited

you're going to literally rip my heart apart oh my god yeah go do it ask i told you to watch detroiters what did you think okay i watched a couple episodes of it yes second season's better than first okay it's like stupid humor so it's it's not like fully where i'm like you have to watch this show it's so funny yeah but there are so many bits in it that i'm like that's fucking hilarious and it gives like a you and i right right stupid i'm tim and you're sam i basically was like this is so weird but in another universe this is me and you it's just such a like funny it's just like a stupid show if you want to watch like the goofiest show ever like I haven't it's great to fall I've been falling asleep to it I fall asleep to the Meghan Markle show but to each her own to each their own side note the Meghan Markle show I started watching who is making Jackie Schimmel did a whole thing of her watching it in her comments and she made a comment where she was like I've never seen someone like be with her friends but act like she just met her friends like the lack of chemistry she has with like her uncle in it. And I kind of loved it.
I love that. I feel like Megan, we forget.
She always wanted to be an entertainer. And now she's just like, this is.
But it's funny because. She's an actress.
It's very Martha Stewart, except she doesn't start off with being like, I particularly have a skill for this. She just kind of was like, fuck around and around to find out yeah like i'm getting my kids ready for school and also making beautiful parfaits yes like and this is what i do yeah it seems like while the world is burning you can have a beehive my my only gripe with megan and it's not really even a gripe it's i can't't stand when she calls Harry H because I just feel like that.
Okay. I'm not like.
Oh my God, it was not expensive. I'll be here for the rest of the hour.
I'm here till Wednesday. Because here's the thing that annoys me and it's the logistics of it a nickname is supposed to be easier to say than the actual person's name the name Harry is like quite literally I feel like one of the easiest names rolls off the tongue rolls off the tongue to say H I feel like is harder on your mouth can you call me h from now on and and then in change does not make it like an easier nickname sorry i had a friend who i love but she did the most annoying thing where whenever she'd start dating i just realized your name starts with h i was like why would i call you that? I had this friend who, whenever she would start dating a guy, like they'd be a weekend and she'd be like me and Jay.
And his name was like Jason. She'd be like Jay and I.
And then she'd meet another guy named like Patrick. She'd be like me and P.
And I was like, this is, I feel like you're overcompensating. Cause you, you guys actually haven't talked about anything.
Yeah. You've never spoken to each other.
I'm just thinking like, have I ever been close to any boyfriend ever? I've never called them like a nickname ever. Like I would say like from their own name.
I once started dating a guy and I would say like, babe. And he was like, don't ever call me that.
And I was like, okay, unpack that therapy., I'm just. You know what? I actually have some other choice words, you fucking asshole.
How about that for a nickname, babe? What's your go-to when you were in a relationship and had someone who loved you? When I felt a warm touch at night. Nothing based off their own name.
Yeah. It would be generic.
It would be something that happened or something like, I don't know. I like calling them what a pimp would call his girls.
Yeah. It could be in case I forget your name.
Babe. Honey buns.
Yeah. I like to say what's cooking good looking.
I like, I actually like being used oh like i like being called page say every fucking syllable of my name including the silent h at the end when des is my name fully i'm like okay stop flirting yeah you're literally obsessed with me no no like literally. Something really like where you're trying to like make love.

Like why don't you chill the fuck out.

When you made that kind of thing, that was so intense.

Well, yeah, then Des will say hand sometimes.

But we actually are similar.

We have names that like you can't shorten.

I know.

Like there is no nickname for our names.

So it's like, but here's the thing.

My name, and I've said this for years and no one has ever like agreed.

Or like, or been like, I see where you're coming from.

If you say my name fast, Paige, it can also sound like if you say the word bitch fast,

it sounds like Paige.

Because I've been in so many situations where I'm like did you just call me a bitch and they're like i said page and i'm like i don't think you did i don't think you did i do have to say if they want to franken bite it it's it sound it looks the same off the lip page page page page page page page page page page page page page page page page page so and everyone's your mom called you a bitch and then the doctor thought it was page and wrote it down this is so you know when you have a sibling and like you're too lazy to say their name like like fully so like my brother's name's daniel but i always called him dental or I thought you were going to say Dan but that would have been crazy God no

God no fully so like my brother's name's Daniel but I always called him Denny or I thought you're gonna say Dan but that would be crazy god no god no god no I'm definitely in my single era and one thing I've heard about dating is that like it is just hard out there this year let's focus on finding people who like what you like and want what you want. And discover it on Bumble.
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wait what else did you watch this weekend oh there was like a new netflix show called i like caught up on my stuff okay oh you're so you're being private about it she's, how about none of your damn fucking business? My mom will always call me and I'm like, OK, you got to go. I'm going to watch my shows.
And she's like, what shows? And I'm like, you don't know them. She's like, that's why I'm asking.
No, my mom convinced herself that she has the same taste in shows as you. So whenever you watch something, she watches it.
She's like a page like so. No, we talk about shows a lot.
Because you guys like period pieces you think are better than people. No, we love a period piece.
Okay, then I'm going to bring it up. Wait, did you see? Sorry.
Okay, I just took so much courage to say the last sentence and you... What did I see? What did I see? Literally, my boyfriend, Brandon Skelner, which, no.
Get his name. Yeah, what is his name? Sklarner.
I said it wrong on the pod. On the pod.
He told you. On the pod.
I heard like a. Brandon Skelner.
Skelner. I don't know.
He has a girlfriend. Like just got one? I don't know.
Once I saw a girlfriend, I honestly didn't look into into it he heard you talking about him on the pod and he was like i have a girlfriend no i was like wow what interesting timing we haven't heard one thing about a girlfriend i say one goddamn word and it's like a whole article how i met my girlfriend on tinder i was like oh fuck off tinder i don't know i made that up it could have been something totally different. Well, I'm sorry about that.
Thanks.

It's a tough way to start the week for sure. For sure.
It seems like an attack on you. That was like when Charlie Puth got married to make me jealous.
I was like, we get it. Yeah, that was crazy.
He took the bit too far. Took it so far.
I was like, I don't even follow you anymore. How was he even going to see that? Like, you know, I didn't even see it.
Okay. I'm beyond about this documentary on Hulu that you told me to watch Ruby Frankie no not to be just confused with Anne Frank Ruby Frankie no here's the craziest part prior to her getting arrested I had never gotten like I'm not a YouTube girly really so like I don't really know people that are like very big on YouTube and I really don't know obviously like families that are big on YouTube but on my TikTok algorithm I would say like a couple months prior to her getting arrested I kept getting fed like a lot of their videos and people being like oh this is like a really interesting tactic like as a mom and like the comments would be like no she's been crazy for years or like I've watched them for whatever like no she's just like tough love whatever so I like kept getting those so I knew who they were and then she got arrested so I've been like so in it and obsessed.
Well, let's first say what it is. She turned lesbian with that woman.
Okay. Well, mic drop.
Because I think that's. It's literally the plot of Mulholland Drive.
No, I'm just kidding. So this is the thing.
It is such a more complex story than just. I thought it was just a mommy blogger gone crazy.
No. She's not just like a mean mom.
I mean, I think she is. Yeah.
But let's be honest. There's Mormonism.
Mormonism and brainwashing. Mormonism, brainwashing.
So she started off. The husband.
Well, he was interviewed the whole time. The husband has something mental he he loves the embarrassment the pain no it was like listening to him tell the story i was just like he like enjoyed it you're free okay let's call this what it is you're not normal either sir if anything scariest one here okay this is terrifying like a normal person who should be ashamed.
Slip into the night, my guy. Like, I also, you should be arrested too.
Yeah. You should be arrested too.
Well, stop acting like the father just was absent and had no idea of the family. Like, he knows the kid was sleeping on the floor.
You knew that your kids didn't get Christmas gifts. Jail.
Yeah. Immediate jail time.
Yeah. So I'm only episode two in it.
I'm only episode two. Oh, okay.
So you gave some stuff away already. But her whole thing was she didn't even like care about money.
She wanted to be America's mom. She loved the fame.
And then she would go so far as. America's mom.
You didn't feed them. You literally.
That's the number one thing about being a mom. She loved the fame.
And then she would go so far as America's mom. You didn't feed them.
You literally that's the number one thing about being a mom. Just feeding us.
I'm obsessed with influencer culture where like what's going on behind the scenes. And what's incredible about this documentary is they gave like hundreds of thousands of minutes of footage of her filming herself, which by the way, on my deathbed, delete the drafts in my home.
Right. They have all the videos that like weren't posted, like the things that were edited out, they play.
And I'm saying just based on my embarrassment of me like trying to say something and fucking it up. Like that's so embarrassing.
Right, right, right. She literally is her.
Or someone's talking and you're like, I'm filming something. Yeah.
Like, yeah. You fumble a word.
You're trying to get it right it up like that's so embarrassing right she literally is someone's talking and you're like i'm filming something yeah like yeah you fumble a word you're trying to get it right like that's so embarrassing she has all that plus she's like kids next door shut the fuck up yeah right fucking now or you better sound happy in this conversation did you notice how her daughter referred to her with their first name as ruby and then like the son one of the sons is so cute and she realized that he was like the reason they were getting so many views because he was like so cute and then he also these kids just became teenagers they basically were like mom i want to play with my friends and not do hours of youtube video brand deals with you and she was like he's possessed like he's gone crazy um so it's a combination of religious stuff brainwashing from this therapist and just it's a complicated tale of abuse it's so crazy and you know like when I was watching it one of the things was like I was like oh my god I feel so bad for younger kids. Like they got the brunt of her like psychosis craziness.
But then I was like, wait, I actually feel the worst for the older kids because they could remember what their mom was like normal. And like the oldest daughter like had like, like started crying about something, obviously.
But she just said like, this is not my mom. Like this is not the mom I grew up with yeah so that alone like imagine one day your mom just like isn't who she's been her whole life and you're just like wait what well the whole concept of filming your kids and you see it a lot like people get I think addicted to they put the phone on their kid and they immediately get likes.
So they think, oh, my God, I want likes.

Who gives a fuck?

I'll keep filming my kid.

No, I said that Daphne was never going to be on Instagram two days in.

I'm like, she's a runway model.

She's a DSW brand deal in stores.

I'm like, you want to go to school?

You have to pay for it.

And at one point, the kids were like, I don't want to film.

And she's like, I'll give you $10 if you film.

There are laws in California now that says something like if your kid has to get a certain

Thank you. And at one point the kids were like, I don't want to film.
And she's like, I'll give you $10 if you film. There are laws in California now that says something like if your kid has to get a certain percentage.
Child labor laws. Yeah.
As there should be. Well, because think about all those years ago.
Like when kids started. Like Shirley Temple.
Yes. Like starting and making money.
There's famous kids who never saw a dime. Yes.
Like literally were broke at the end of working their whole childhood. Yeah.
I'd also argue that. Like Shia LaBeouf.
Like his family like always took his money in check. I do have to say there's something to be said about kids doing chores and kids having a goal and stuff.
But having kids have like a full career is not healthy to their development. I'm be so honest a couple days ago i got a call and they're like daphne booked a pretty big campaign and i was like oh my god this is so crazy i feel like abby lee miller like one of my dancers is a star and i said to my agent on the phone i said do i have to have to create her an LLC? Like, I don't want to take...
I'm like, how are we getting paid for this? My agent was like, no, it's an animal. The money can go to you, Paige.
I was like, oh, okay. You're going to be one of these crazy bitches that is like, Paige leaves her entire estate to die when you pass away.
And your kids are going to be like, what the fuck? She'll have to fucking kill me. Do you want to know something that's funny and like not true, but funny? Those types of people, I want to shoot them.
No, when I hear like, oh, celebrity dies and left entire estate to ex-wife or like celebrity dies and like donates it all and has five kids I would he's lucky he died because I would have

fucking killed him if I was his child I think that is like the rudest most disrespectful

some of these celebs hate their like nepo their nepo spoiled offspring so it's like a fuck you

this is my thing fine donate to charity they didn't ask to be there. Donate to charity though like if you're not gonna give it to your kids.
If my dad was a billionaire and he died and he left it all to charity, I'm showing up at that charity. Suddenly I made charity.
The name of the charity is called Paige DeSorbo. No that, I never Understand that it's like okay yeah Donate some to charity amazing But to not give any to your Children I can't I watch a lot Of you know celebrity documentaries I think Some of them who are self made Feel like they want their kids to work Hard like they did and not just Have tons of money.
I couldn't have a more different mindset.

I want my child to not even know a thing.

Like literally not a thing.

I don't want them to struggle for a minute.

Yeah.

No, I mean, I do.

I want them to build character.

But anyway, I feel like that is why you work hard, though.

It's like, oh, I want to give you a better life than I had. Speaking of kids going through adversity.
I saw this on Instagram. Someone said, you know, you're a kid and you have to sharpen your pencil.
Yeah. So you'd get up to the garbage and you just like sharpen it and it feels kind of nice.
And you'd also get to like, you take a break. Oh, that's a version of a cigarette break as a kid.
I was the queen of taking a break. The pencil sharpener wasn't enough for me.
I was like, ooh, still too stimulating. You guys are all here.
I was at the nurse's office. The nurse knew me.
Okay. That's so funny because now you deal with me.
Paige will literally be like, this hurts, this hurts. And I go, you're going on stage, bitch.
I'm not your fucking nurse anymore. I'd walk into the nurse's office and she'd say, what is it today, Paige? I'd say, well, I don't know.
I'm feeling a slight tingle in my throat. Better call my mommy.
I feel like my past life when my children died of cholera is coming forward today. No, I'd literally go to the nurse's office and the nurse would say, why don't we just call your mom, talk for a few minutes and see how you feel and I'd be like that sounds nice and so I literally go to the nurse's office in the middle of the day call my mom see what she was up to tell her I love her she'd say you can finish the rest of the day and I'd say fine and I would go back to school I needed like a midday pep talk okay it's hard out here so real let kids call their mom during school what was the harm in it would you be like a jail where they have a row of telephones you're getting a call from ps321 during the middle of the day mom i can't do it anymore in this place a prison.
No, I always think about kids that get sent away to like wilderness camp. And they like write home, like, please pick us up.
Like, we hate it. Like, I think about that all the time.
Like, I so would have done that. No, my brother like wrote, my brother was like you.
Like, he was always in the nurse's office. And he at point went to camp first day was like nope not doing this wrote this like insane email the camp had to call my parents to warn them about because they read all the mail yeah which illegal yeah and they were like you're gonna get a really disturbing message from your son but this was like a week later and they go, but he's actually doing great right now.

So you can kind of disregard that. Wait, that's so funny.
My brother was like, I will not. Then they called my parents because they were like a piece of.
There was some contraband that someone got into the cabins and it was a Playboy that someone brought and we just need to warn you. And my dad was like, thank you for letting us know.
I hope our son's going to be okay. They were like 15 at the time.
Wait. That's so crazy.
The evolution of porn. How crazy.
Kids had to bring magazines. No, Des joked, you used to have to go online and print out a photo of boobs.
Did you not? I had a friend once who got in trouble when we were young because he was printing out a photo of boobs. No, I never, like, porn was never in my, like.
Zeitgeist. Yeah, like, it wasn't in my middle school, high school zeitgeist.
Like, I just never. You went to an all-girls school.
Yeah, just, we never, it never came out. You went to an all-girls Catholic school.
The amount of shame you guys had about even, like, talking. Did you have sex ed? Barely.
They were like, if a guy comes to you. They were like, listen to these 50 cent lyrics.
How dare he? And I'm like, this is a fucking banger. What are you guys talking about? No, we like barely had it.
But we did have like religion class. I was like, if you have a baby out of wedlock, you're a whore.
Did you ever have a condom class where they took the banana? Too intense for an all girls Catholic school. No.
They basically said condoms exist. For whores.
You should know about that.

But if you ever thought about stopping God's children from being born.

Meanwhile, how many of the girls were getting abortions?

Tens upon tens of hundreds.

And like the one girl that did the like religious thing and kept her baby, they were like, you're expelled.

You fucking slut.

Get out of here. No, it was crazy.
It was like, no, what an insane time. What a time.
What a time. What a time.
Actually, I have to go speak at my high school. Next month.
I'm just saying. Wait, speaking of celebrities and money, this is actually a good segue.
Speaking of whores. Did you see? Speaking of whores getting money.
The best whore in the world, Kim Kardashian. Yeah.
Did you see Chris Humphries? Like, there's something happened with the engagement ring. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did see that. she said that how she how she paid for her engagement ring and he um asked for it back yes so chris humphries only paid for a fifth of the engagement ring but then he wanted it back that's not how business works pal not how business works but it was probably he was probably being such a dick during that divorce that he was like, well, give me the ring.

And she was like, fine.

Like, yeah, just leave me alone.

But also, like, what is he going to do?

Like pawn it off?

Yeah.

Also, at this point, I'd rather, like, keep your one fifth.

Let me pay for the whole ring.

Why do you need to pay for a fifth of it?

Right.

She probably did that for him to feel.

It's almost more embarrassing that he can only put in a little bit.

I'd rather just be like, you can't't do it at least let me have my ring okay what are your thoughts on if I were to get married why is that funny you? It's just. If I fell in love with a man.
If I were to give a man a chance. Yep.
No. If a man were to come correct once.
Just once. If I were to fall in love with like a broke man.
Yeah. Which honestly I love for you.
You know, maybe that's what I need. Because if he's broke, that means he's so good on so many other things.
Except for. Except for basic living needs.
Yeah, basic living needs. And also.
That's not even the point. That's not even the point.
That's not even the point. We're getting sidetracked.
Let's not even put that in. No.
That's weird. If I were to.
We're so good at manifesting on the pod you're like nip it nip it in the bud if

i were to fall in love with a broke man but i loved the fuck out of him and i wanted to marry him and like this was my person yeah and he said that he couldn't afford the engagement ring that i specifically wanted yeah because it's insane what you're gonna ask for i don't think anyone can avoid the ring that you want.

There's someone out there.

A Princeton fucking...

There's someone out there.

I actually, for how traditional I am, I think, in relationships, that actually wouldn't bother me to buy my own ring because I knew it's something I wanted. Now, him being broke in general would probably bother me more than me buying my own ring.
My question, you're in a relationship and you're doing well. Okay.
Yeah. And you decide I want this house and he's like on the fence about it, but you're like, I can buy it.
I'm going to buy it. And I want to buy our house.
Yeah. Would you buy it? And then it's your asset, you know? Oh.
Like, it's your investment. I'm not even putting his name down.
No. Oh.
I mean, you can if you want. Well, hell yeah.
You know what? Hell yeah. This is my house, bitch.
I'm just saying, the second you get married, you, like, obviously, you can put your name on everything. But, like, you can buy what you want.
Like, because you could live two lives. Why make money if you are still waiting on him to buy you stuff? Honestly, it only matters if we were to get divorced.
Because if we were to get divorced, houses in my name automatically goes to me. But...
Like, if... Because I'm just saying ring or house.
I'm saying, what if you guys, you're looking at a house and you know if I put more of my money in, we could get a nicer house. Would you do that? Yeah.
Yeah. A hundred percent.
So it's kind of, but the ring is such a romantic gesture of like. Yeah.
But also if you care a lot about what other people think of the size of your ring. Ring, yeah.
And he's not hitting it. Then you need, then you might want to add some buffer to it.
I'll add a buffer. Would you tell people if you added a buffer? No, because I feel like that would make him feel insecure.
Would I tell him at nighttime when it's just the two of us? Hell yeah. Would I bring it up every time? Every time we fought? Fuck yeah.
When I was giving birth to his children, I'd be like, what have you done at all? You couldn't even get a full fucking, this ring I fucking had to get for myself and my blood's my tears. Someone was joking online about like, if your husband murdered someone, would you throw them under the bus? And they were like, no.
But every time we got, like I wanted him to do something, I'd be like, you better go hand me the remote in the other room or I'm going to make a phone call.

No, I'm a big fan of blackmail.

I'm going to make a phone call.

Yeah.

And it's on speed dial.

Yeah.

I would hold it over his head.

Do you remember speed dial?

Wait.

That's like, I feel like you had it saved in the telephone.

In real home phones?

Yeah.

So you'd press one. I might have just made it up.
I don't remember that. These two are not hopeful for this.
Yeah. They have no idea what's going on.
One other thing about relationships that was actually I learned from Detroiters, which you all should watch. Watch the first episode.
Tell me what you think. It's my favorite comedy right now.
They said when you're in a relationship, you have to feel like that person enables your star factor and I really liked that I really like that because there's a lot of like oh you know only one person could be a star whatever I feel like you should bring out the star in each other I've realized that like if you want to be a better person for that person like a good time. Like I've never wanted to like improve something about myself.
Or you find yourself actually getting worse. Yeah, because I'm like I don't have to improve anything because I'm so much better than you.
It's like you need time to catch up. Or yeah, you're not improving because you're so busy trying to improve them that you actually haven't even like focused on yourself at all.
So I know like I'm in a healthy relationship when I'm like, wait, when you check yourself. Yeah.
When I'm like, wait, I actually want to eat a little healthier. Hannah started wearing an ear cuff and it literally changed her whole personality.
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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable okay so I picked a bunch of flats a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them ever wonder what those pimple patches are that you see all over Instagram and TikTok? SZA's wearing them, Hailey Bieber's wearing them. Well, they're Starface.
And Starface just launched a new face wash and moisturizer. It's for breakout prone and sensitive skin, so literally perfect for me.
Both products feature salicylic acid and they help unclog your pores and minimize your breakouts star wash is a foamy cleanser which is my favorite kind of cleansers i just feel like they really get in your pores you just like know it's working and the star cream is a lightweight moisturizer that basically melts into your skin and feels like a cloud and obviously star face has like the cutest packaging and they're just cute fun products so start by

washing your face with the star wash and then you can put a star on any spots you need and you can finish with the star cream i'm going through a lot of breakouts right now so i would literally have a galaxy on my face you can find star wash and star cream right now at ulta beauty target and starface.world. I pulled my back out last week.
Doing Pilates? Yeah. Like in the midst of the class, you were like something's not right.
In the midst of the class, I think I had too much adrenaline and I didn't realize it, but I was doing a move very wrong for way too long. Like, you know, it's like you do everything for like three minutes.
Yeah. I was two and a half minutes in and the lady was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How did you even get your body in this way? But I'm not going to point fingers copying the girl in front of me. Yeah, okay.
Someone check on her back as well because we're both not doing well. Girl, if you're listening to the pod, hit me up.
We can ice pack together. That's literally being in middle school and you both failed the test.
It's like who cheated off who we don't know. Because I'm just going on what she's doing because sometimes whatever.
But long story short, she should have caught it earlier. And it's on her.
No one did anything. I never did anything wrong.
Everyone did everything else wrong. But I was doing this like crazy twisting move and I was bending during the twist and you're supposed to stand during the twist.
Whatever. I fucked it up.
I'm not of the age where I just snap back. No.
I, and obviously after Pilates, what do you think I did all day? Sat in a weird position watching Detroiters for the next eight hours. So I got up and I immediately was like, I've pulled my back out.
Do you want to know the last time that happened to me? I got a cat. So watch out.
Oh, don't tempt me. Don't tempt me.
But I Googled it and they were like, the one thing you shouldn't do if you've pulled your back is like sit in the same position for too long. And I was like, well, that's the only thing I'm going to do.
So what if you've already done that? I was like, it's too late for me. And I had already pressured Grace the next morning to do Pilates with me.
Oh, well, you've

done it to yourself. So I wake up in the morning

and not only am I fighting my own demons

but I have sweet, sweet Grace

who looks forward to this with me.

It's like pretty much, look, she doesn't have a lot

of other things going on.

She has so much, she's up to here with work.

It is the highlight of her day.

I make a couple of jokes. She's like, let me get

a good stretch in with my boss. She's laughing because it's making jokes i'm whenever it's a hard exercise i look over at her and we have a moment together it's really quite it's so fun she's like i love my job so this was like literally me being insane and i'm gonna pull it up so i.
So I send her a long voice note. Grace? Yes.
Hasn't she endured enough? I know. After the fact, after the class, you're like, let me follow up with her? No, before the class, I send her a whole thing.
I'm like, I am so sorry to ruin your day. I'm not going to be able to make it to class today.
I pulled my back out. Oh, okay.
So she goes, OMG, Godspeed, we'll miss you. Looking back at it now, I think she just said it to say it but when I saw it I go oh my god she's gonna it's she's gonna miss me yeah get it together is she gonna be okay to be in the class by herself so then I'm like I can Hannah just go because I started googling can you do Pilates with a bad back and they were like oh Pilates is actually good is actually good for a bad back.
And I'm like, that's crazy. Do you think that people at Google are ever like, no, you fucking idiot.
It literally says, if you have a bad back, Pilates can help. And I go, so I'm going back to the source of the pain.
So then I go, okay, well, maybe I'm being a little bitch, and I should just go, and it'll help my back. So I respond to her.
I go, actually, never mind, I'll go. She goes, okay.
I go, thank you.

Why did you say thank you?

Ten minutes later, I go, actually, my back hurts too much.

Never mind.

Oh, my God.

Because I stood up, and I was like, no.

You know what's hurting now?

Grace's fucking head. Okay, her brain.
So this is at 11.15. 11.16, I go, JK coming.
No. What time was the class? 11.30, so I have to leave.
So she goes, someone is at war with their brain. Someone is at war with their brain brain this morning and then the best part is after that I go JK can't JK can't and then she goes rest and I'm like why didn't you say rest at the beginning because I would have just rested but instead I felt like I was ruining your fucking day so again grace oh my god anyway I should not put her through that but I was fading your fucking day.
So again, Grace. Oh my God.
Anyway, I should not put her through that. But I was fighting for my life because I kept being like, am I being a pussy? Yeah.
So now how's your back? Great. I need a day off.
I really need that day off. Honestly, it made so much of a difference.
You literally, and here's the thing about when you hurt yourself, you don't realize it until that moment that you're getting older and that you don't bounce back until you're not bouncing back. Until it's too late and you can't feed your own cat because as you bend down to give her water.
Yeah. And you get like frustrated at yourself.
You're like, no, be healed now. No, 100%.
Even like going to going to pilates like this past week i like ate the healthiest i've eaten in like years and i went to pilates and i and i looked in the mirror and i was like where are the results you do not snap back you just don't snap when i tell you all i had to take was a sturdy shit in my 20s and i was like okay snap no snap truly to the heavens truly speaking of body shaming um yeah did I ever tell you what my nickname was like through high school into college no quadzilla what quadzilla Hannah which I'd quite literally my own grave That's why I'm funny. Dig my own grave and pass away.

That's why I'm funny.

That's why I have a good personality.

I had huge...

I still...

They're not as strong, but I used to have, like...

My quads were, like...

What is a quad?

It's, like, above your knee.

Like, my quads were so strong, the muscles were, like, bulging over my kneecaps.

To, like, your thighs.

Like, I could squat, like, insane amounts.

And I was really fast

on the court and like literally like

hot guys would be like, sup, Quadzilla.

I'm like, sorry, I'm just like

trying my best. I'm just like not

creative, you know, just like not

a good nickname. Quadzilla?

No, the kids were so lazy with it and it stuck before that i was called elf ears so it was kind of honestly at least it was powerful in a way at least you thought of christmas and joy quadzilla christmas that's crazy behavior And like I couldn't tell if like they thought my legs were like cute or not. I know.
But I told you I'll always have guys being like, hey, what do you do for those calves? Like they want my like calf workout. No, Hannah, you're stronger.
You are so strong because if someone asked me, a man specifically said, what do you do for your cab workouts? No, men look at me like a horse. They like check my teeth.
Why are men always trying to like treat you like they're breeding with you? Yeah, and they're like, what's your vert? What? They're like, do you want to race? Men always get so oddly competitive with you in like such a what what is that's why I wonder I wonder if it's just like the energy you give off like immediately I did start thriving in college though because division one babies were like a topic okay so like a lot of the athletes would you know be courting women yeah and then they'd see me yeah they just smell a nike sponsorship for their child like immediately like yeah you could go with the sorority girl who can't fucking walk in a straight line or i i could fucking throw a football yeah 100 yards what what do you want for our child do you want your child to these calves? And if, yeah. So it's just like a matter of what kind of DNA you want.
Wow. But a lot of these.
No, I will say no one's ever come up to me and said like, hey, our kids might be athletic. If anything, they're like, I think you'll have a gay son.
I think you'll have a gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers. One thing about me.
Don't talk about my unborn gay son because he's fabulous wait do you think your son's gonna be gay i don't know you want it so bad i think that if like i if i always if i had all boys at well one i'd actually like go to church for so many days in a row and be like, what did I, where did I mess up? And like,

if one of them is not gay, God is really trying to teach me something. I have heard that like, you've been cracking me up on the road about the boy mom's joke, which like we're not doing anymore.
Can we please do it? Yeah. So I found a photo of Paige dressed up like, just like the pin pinnacle of what you like when you picture a boy mom like picking her son up from practice and like her son's name is like tanner tucker something crazy xylophones no he you have like flannel on and you have your knee-high boots and like you have your starbucks order that was so complicated unnecessary.
And like the weather isn't conducive for a beanie but she's wearing a beanie. It's part of your look because it is fall.
It's part of her allure. Yes.
And like she just gives that like her oldest, Trenton, she loves him the most and like everyone knows she loves him the most and she like writes him notes in his lunchbox that like nobody's gonna ever love you the way mommy loves you like his everyone knows she loves him the most. And she, like, writes him notes in his lunchbox that, like, nobody's going to ever love you the way mommy loves you.
Like, his little girlfriend, she, like, refers to her as little girlfriend, you know. And she also, like, wants to fuck him.
You literally show this outfit. Paige is, like, this is an outfit of a boy mom who wants to fuck her eldest son.
And that is so real. It's so real.
I might think you having a daughter would be too powerful the alliance you guys would have maybe once honestly daphne did something over the weekend with a dog actually let me just tell them so daphne was in the same vicinity as a dog this weekend and i was really nervous about it so i was like oh i'm gonna put gates up and like she can't I don't need her anywhere near this dog obviously in true like cat cat fashion I I turn my head for a minute and I'm like where the fuck's the cat I see her standing on like a like a thing of stairs staring at this dog this dog is backed up into a corner crying, okay? Daphne's literally, like, far away from him, too. Like, maybe, like, 30 feet away from this dog.
She's just sitting on the stairs looking at this dog, licking her paw. Just being, like— Unfazed.
Unfazed. Like, this is my house now, bitch.
Like, I don't— And in that moment, i was like i you're my biological daughter you don't give a fuck about a boy that's my baby like that's my so like the thought of like watching my daughter do something that's like against the patriarchy no it's too powerful i'll cry i'm so proud of her i also so she wasn't even like hissing or anything she literally was look at this. She literally looked at the dog.
I almost felt like she looked at the dog, looked at me, and was like, okay. That was the energy she was giving to me.
I'm obsessed with her so much. We had a Zoom recently.
We're both Butter and Daphne were on the Zoom. Yeah.
And so they kind of met. They did.
They didn't make eye contact, but like. But they were like.
They're on a work call together. Yeah.
They were like, if you guys don't leave us anything after you die. Divorce.
Mm-hmm. Jessica Simpson has new music inspired from her divorce.
Have you seen it? Wait. Jessica Simpson.
Jessica Simpson. Yeah.
Oh, I forgot she was getting a divorce. She was with a hockey player, so we knew that was going to happen.
Yeah. Oh, he was? I think so.
I don't think so. Can we Google who Jessica Simpson's ex was? Are you thinking Carrie Underwood? It's possible.
It's possible. Was he a businessman or was he a hockey player? I think he was a businessman.
Well, he had a blockhead. What is a businessman? Again? Something men made up to feel important.
What is? I think he's a football player. Oh.
Football. Oh, football.
Of course. I can believe the same.
So he cheated, I guess. Oh, God.
So she's back doing music. Good.
It makes, it's interesting. It's like he leaves.
She's back doing what she's passionate about. Also, the hate that woman got.
No. No, I have it burned in my brain in the outfit.
She was wearing denim flared jeans with a leopard belt and a white t-shirt. And they were like, this woman is huge.
Well, yeah, they weight shamedamed her but also they shamed her voice which like i'm sorry like can you guys sing better jessica simpson can you guys sing better than shut the fuck up also i loved her voice she's got the last laugh now though i think she's a legit billionaire good from her jessica simpson line her shoe line like her line yeah she's really does incredible but it looks like she's back first time she performed in like years so shout out to her i'm proud of her um i'm so proud of her um i've been seeing this thing on tiktok and i'm gonna try and do it this is oh let me update the gigglers on um my face masks this weekend i did two face masks one MediCube. I'll put it in the newsletter.
I was obsessed with it. I love it.
And then I've been seeing this thing on TikTok where it's like how to stay more present like in your everyday life, which is something I'm really trying to work on. Like staying present in the moment that we're in, you know, like not letting my mind wander.
And then I'm having like a fake fight with someone in my brain. I'm like, how'd we get here? And then four hours later.
Yeah. I'm like, well, I won.
But it's called a color walk. And basically you go out on a walk and you pick a color.
And then every time you see that color, like you note it in your head, like, okay, red awning red car sounds like a kid game yeah are you sure it wasn't like for parents whose kids were being annoying on walks i spy with my little eyes wow now that i think about it me and my mom played i spy all the freaking time every time we got in the doctor's office she was like okay let's play i just caught on that's what they say though when you're having a panic attack to like look at something and say like put your feet on the color the smell whatever you know how it is well i'm glad that you're really connecting to colors right now i'm really connecting to like nature trying to get my 10k. Wait, why does this make me like more worried for your well-being? Like what are you searching for that you don't have right now? A husband.
You devil in and out of being like if I have to see a man. I do have to say though, it just takes one man.
And for everyone listening, we joke about de-cent We don't joke. It's very serious decentering.
But you want to decenter while finding that one person. No, I'm also, like, just being, like, funny and sarcastic.
My REM has never been better. I mean, my skin has been better.
But, like, you know, like, when you have, like, things you want to do that you're like, oh, I really want to do those. But, like, I it must like oh once I have like a full Sunday off like I'll do all those things I've been doing all those things wait I'm so proud of you are you ever worried that you're gonna clog all your pores with too many masks okay first of all have you been texting my mom no are you drowning yourself well okay I'm dealing with four pimples right now.
So like be easy on me. So I've been sending her memes of her pimples' personalities.
And just different things personified. Usually my route is like I'm going to dry the fuck out of my skin.
I'm going to dry this pimple right up. But this weekend I went and did the opposite and I hydrated my skin like a thousand times more than I ever would.
And my skin actually, my pimples did get better. I'm still like dealing with the remnants.
I feel like when you're dry, I feel like it adds more oils, which can clog it more. Like I kind of made that up, but like.
No, I mean, it sounds right, but I didn't. I also do feel like pimples have a natural life cycle that sometimes you just have to let them live.
Yeah. The best thing that I use, again, I'll put it in the newsletter, is my like light zapper to like stop an active pimple.
No, it really truly does work. It like stops the bacteria.
Wait till you read the newsletter this week. What is the spray that you use for like for weeds? Roundup.
She goes, I use my Roundup and I give it a little spritz honestly that is something i would do i do have to say this was the first weekend we had free in like forever yeah and i was really battling demons though because i would like be like oh my god this feels so good and then like four hours in i'd be like am i depressed and then i'd be like no we're enjoying ourselves and i know i would like put things on my list and be like, if I have this free day, like I might as well get this done. And I had to like act.
And that's how I felt like I was, I've crossed over into adulthood. I had to actively be like, no, relax, rest.
See, resting is huge. But I feel guilty.
No, resting is so important, which we learned from my back earlier in this episode. I've not become a full adult yet because my mom called me and was like, you haven't been to the gynecologist in years.
And I was like, I go, well, I don't have a gynecologist, and no one set me up with one. And she was like, that's not how it works.
So I went on ZocDoc. And this is the thing, ZocDoc for gyno is wild.
But I found, I honestly liked her energy from her photo. You have to go on Vibes because nothing else on DocDoc to go by.
Who do I, whose forearm do I want in my pussy? Yeah. So she was cute.
She seemed nice. Because you're never going male.
No. Except for my freezing my eggs.
My doctor is a guy and I'm fine with it. He's made me fine with it.
I don't remember it being so quick, though. She literally just, like, in and out, shoved it, felt up my boobs.
Yeah. I do have a lipoma.
I have, like, a big fat cell on the side. Have you seen it? Of course I have.
No, I have, like, a huge fat globule. You have to go to a dermatologist and get that taken out? I just searched on ZocDoc lipoma doctor and I just set up an appointment.
So we'll see what happens there. This is really important to me specifically.
I either need a full video of them taking that out of you or I need to come with you. This is my super bowl.
No, but this is my problem is that I want to go in and be like, can you cut it out? Thank you. Where I think it's like going to be a whole thing.
Sometimes I watch videos and it's sister lipoma and you have to guess. And I love those videos.
Really? Yeah. Okay.
How do they get the lipoma out? They literally chop it off. Okay.
Well, do you think somebody would do it the first time? Cause I really don't want to go back and forth like a hundred times. No, you're gonna have to go in for a consultation first they're not just gonna meet you and say let's chop your skin off what if i just give them a 20 and i'm like can you just freeze this off huh there's like different anyway it's growing and honestly like the summer's coming and i just feel like you need it off i need it off it's yeah come on yeah so but she was she said not breast cancer.
So just want to let you guys know. Oh, good.
I didn't even know that was something that. It's just like, it's close to my boob.
Got it. Okay.
Wow, the pod has gotten crazy lately. No, we went in so many different directions.
Who even knows? Honestly, and the final thing, final celeb I want to bring up, who I've honestly never respected more. And she gets torn apart for everything she does.
Taylor Swift. What'd she do? She was paparazzi'd with Travis Kelsey and the back of her hair.
A mess? A complete mess. Not her business.
None of her business. The woman is a businesswoman.
The back of her hair, not important. It's starting to make me realize like the gag has been on us the whole time.
Like I think she loves people being like her style's not great or whatever's great because she's like I'm a billionaire and I still do whatever the fuck I want and I'm not gonna conform to whatever societal pressure you think a female celebrity should be and her walking on this date where she knew was gonna get photographed and her hair being a damn mess in the back she didn't want to go to dinner that's a woman who was on the couch and was like do we have to go she thought she was gonna get out of it she really thought she was like windy outside. Have you seen the wind? I don't know if the roads got canceled.
Some quick updates. Our book comes out in less than a month.
And I know you guys thought this was a bit. So did we.
It's not a bit. It's done.
The book is done. And a lot of you have already pre-ordered it however i looked at the numbers of the people who listened to the pod and the people who have pre-ordered the book some of you haven't oh no i'll find you some of you haven't um this book is our passion, our life's work.
I highly recommend

go and order it.

Our thesis. you haven't um this book is our passion our life's work i highly recommend go and order it our thesis statement of life like we worked on our thesis it's literally we put our heart and soul we bled onto it and if you click in the description you can pre-order it and it'll you'll be one of the first to get it when it comes out on april 15 Also, the audiobook is available so you can immediately get it.

So do it now so you don't forget.

Which is basically just listening to the pod.

Yes.

Just a fun, a spicier fun pod.

A longer pod.

A longer pod.

Anyway, yeah.

I'm trying to think of something.

Also, I have shows in Albany this weekend. Are you coming? Oh Oh yeah when? Thursday, Friday, Saturday? Do you want to come Thursday? Yeah We'll talk about it But I also just announced shows in New Haven, Connecticut Providence, Rhode Island Brooks, California Highland, California Richville, Connecticut Red Bank New Jersey And West Hampton Beach Those are all my new hour Yay I'm so excited Paige is going to see my new hour this week.
Give me notes. I'm so excited for it.
She might actually do her own 10 minutes. We'll see.
I'm not doing that ever. But thank you.
I quote Paige DeSorbo. She said, I would never stand for that long.
I couldn't. I'd pass out.
Literally, I've been watching Amazon Live sometimes when I miss you. I have to say.
You're doing full stand-up. I'm doing full stand-up.
You're doing full doing full standup. Literally, I was like kicking my legs.
I was like, we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling.
Talk soon. Bye.
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