Giggling about boob jobs, body scans, and stoner energy

Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these. They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.
Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool.
They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to or what like murder podcasts I'm trying to get to the bottom of, solve a mystery.
Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears and the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge so there's like not a lot of admin you can wear them anywhere they're perfect from working from home hanging out with your family or if a plane, just vibing. And guess what? They're available right now on Amazon and there's even a limited time discount happening.
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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
What's up, my golden gigglers? Wait, Grace said we have to do something professional. Okay.
Oh, yeah. She said we have to promote our upcoming shows.
Nashville, New Orleans, St. Augustine, Hollywood, Florida, Tacoma, Portland, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City.
And let's not forget we're performing at Radio City this week. I've been watching stand-ups of people that have filmed them at Radio City just to watch.
Just to get the vibes? Just to get the vibes of the area It's funny, that would get me more nervous Yeah, I think it's back I feel like that's the worst thing you could possibly do That's crazy because I did take a beta blocker whilst watching it. I was like, wow, that's going to be crazy.
I like, it sucks, but I realized that like life is just about not thinking about what you're doing because the second you're aware of what you're doing, you fuck it up. But like, you want to be able to think about what you're doing when you're doing it, but it turns out like.
No, you want to live, but like. You can't.
People don't let you. Look, everyone just get a lobotomy.
Things will work out. That's the newest thing.
Speaking of surgeries, rest in peace to Denise Richards' breast augmentations. Did she get a boob job? Two of her breast implants – Exploded? Wait, ruptured.
That was the word they used, which is – Ruptured. Scary as fuck.
Ruptured during. I wonder if you know right when it happens.
Truly, I wonder if you can feel it inside of you of like, I just popped a bag. When I was at a tennis academy, I had this huge muscle trainer.
And he walks up to me one day and he's like, whatever you do, don't get breast implants. And I was like, I'm 14.
Like, why are you saying that to me? It was like so weird. And he goes, because my girlfriend, she was trying to open the car and something poked her.
Punctured her. And she punctured and it blew up her breast implant.
And I was like, okay, noted. Thank you.
Here's another reason why I went against getting a boob job. If something is going to happen medically, I know it's going to

happen to me. Like I know I'd be the type of body to be like, we don't want this and like reject it.
Rejecting it. And that's what happened to Paris Hilton.
She got a boob job like years ago and her body like truly rejected them and she got them taken out right away. It's like me with cocaine.
Yes. And weed and melatonin.
I took a lemmy gummy. You know what's funny? Whenever I talk about you to people that don't know you, I always say, I'm like, she's so pure.
Like, no, she's never smoked a cigarette. That's like the number one thing I said.
I realized like if you just look at me, I look up like a pothead. Like I haven't brushed my hair.
I'm giggling and constantly snacking. Like everything about me says pothead.
Everyone, everything about you says she's high. I mean, even your shirt right now, that's a stoner ass shirt.
No, I identify as a stoner. You're like, I don't want kids.
I just want to smoke weed. Wait, I have – Yeah, what's the update? I have something very important to bring up.
Yes. I don't know if you know, like – I don't know.
Okay. Let's say it's like – it was probably like 2012 and I – not to brag, but one of my biggest modeling jobs would be like shoe fit modeling

because I am the perfect size seven.

So like I would go into showrooms and when buyers were coming to buy certain lines of

shoes, I would be the model with the shoes on.

So I would see the shoes before the next season of like what they're buying.

And I remember being there one time and I was presented with a sneaker wedge. And I was like, oh my God, I'm obsessed.
Like I – what are these freaking shoes? I love them. And I made them give me a pair like when I was done.
So I was like in Albany having zero business rocking a fucking sneaker wedge. Like I was a wag.
On the ice. Loved it.
They're coming back like full force. And I just feel like you are the epitome.
Sorry, Croc. Sorry, Croc.
But I just feel like you are a sneaker wedge girly. I feel like you just called me Miranda.
This is okay okay no and this i have a lot of let me process okay because i feel like sneaker wedges they were like in for a bit but they were never they were in for like a second yeah they were never considered they were very like they weren't in in the country like no one wore them in albany i remember being like feeling freak. But in New York City, everyone wore them for a year.
I think I wore them. This is my thing.
I love Crocs so much. And I love my heeled wedge Crocs.
So I don't know. If the right sneaker wedge comes across my desk, I will.
You will. I'm into like the sneaker loafers that are New Balance.

Everyone's been sending me and I was like, give me 17 of them right now.

Wait, I don't know if I've seen the sneaker loafer.

It's like a silver like New Balance, but as a loafer.

Okay.

Well, we have such different algorithms because this is the only thing on my algorithm right now.

Speaking of algorithm, unpopular opinion.

Yep.

I know what you're going to say.

Really unpopular. I can't fucking wait for TikTok to be gone.
No, Samzies. I need my life back.
Everyone's like, oh, I'm not going to learn anything. I miss my family.
I miss being dumb. I miss not knowing a goddamn thing.
Ignorance is bliss and I enjoy it. Everyone's posting the funniest stuff of like me saying bye to my Chinese spy.
Or like doing like the Congress thing. It's like, are you Chinese? No.
So you are. Nope, I'm not.
I always, what I do like about TikTok is it understands me more than anyone. But also what I hate about it is it understands me more than anyone.
Yeah. It's intrusive.
Yeah, it's super intrusive. I like that it tells me what to buy.
Like I don't want to have to search for what I need. Like it tells me like you're going to like this and I'm like thank you.
Give me 17 of them right now. But also with the mental health stuff, not to age ourselves, but we were the WebMD generation.
Like you got a sniffle, you went on WebMD, it told you you were going to die and that was your fate. Yeah.
And before I had to search to be diagnosed with something where now it just like comes at you all day. Like it's like you have sleep paralysis.
Like every. Do you eat cheese? Okay.
You have a problem. It's like, oh man.
Then with all the information, like it's been crazy to see what size of TikTok I'll be on where I'll be like, once you see three videos of people saying the same thing, you believe it. Yes.
So like the misinformation that's spread is crazy. Crazy.
From beauty stuff to politics to current events. And like, no one is above, like if three of your friends say something, it's a thing.
Right. That's just a fact.
and tiktok for every all the information that we've been able to like spread that's been great has equally been like the bullying and the lying and i'm gonna be honest i have learned things on tiktok have i implemented them into my life certainly not have i saved 4 000 workouts and recipes that i've never once gone back on? I've never once gone back to a workout. And I save a ton of them.
I'm like, ooh, that's a good one to do at home. Oh, 100%.
I've sent it to you. I've been like, if I'm not going to use it, you're not going to use it either.
I do feel bad for the people who blew up because they are so talented and Hollywood would have never given them a time of day. Right.
But the people chose them and they were able to grow that. I just think it has significantly impacted my mental health based on alone the amount of time I spend on it.
Like when I get off TikTok at night to like fall asleep, I have to like sit there for 20 minutes and like decompress a little. One of my favorite things to do is decompress, but like it, like it's too overstimulating and I'm like, I'm actually ready for it to have my nights back.
But sometimes TikTok, the algorithm's bad. Like I saw a video of a girl like with a mustache and she's like, would you date the male version of yourself? So I watched it and it was funny.
But then it showed me like 30 more videos of that. And I'm like, I don't, I'm not that interested in that.
That's like my thing now. Like show me girls with mustaches.
So look, there's pros and cons, but not to get big picture here, but I feel like I have a niece.

I'm an aunt.

Yes.

She's very important.

I FaceTime her all the time and then hang up when she gets cranky.

She is given strict screen time things, and there's proven studies about the development of your brain.

So I think it's starting with kids, but I think in 10, 20 years, adults are going to be put on a screen thing.

I don't know. about like the development of your brain.
So I think it's starting with kids, but I think like in 10, 20 years, like adults are gonna be put on like a screen thing. I think if people aren't already, people will be going to rehab for- Put me in it right now.
No, actually put me in it right now. I just, I never get mad about a social media app closing because we all know social media is not good for us.
Right, like something else will pop up. People will be fine, but.
People will be fine. Yeah.
People are telling people where to go, which is kind of, it feels like when you're waiting for a train and you don't know what the train is going to be. And then they announce the train and everyone starts running towards the train track.
I will say as a as a group of millennials we are funny on there you know like we've never been more together as a country knowing that like something's going away so like I'm happy for the camaraderie. Oh like all the millennials are happy? No I'm saying like everyone's band together of being like this app is going to be gone soon like say whatever the fuck you like people are being really funny yeah on it and i appreciate that it's funny because mine is like people crying it's really because it's like the la fires which are so fucked up so fucked up and then like a 22 year old crying about tiktok and i'm like let's get our priorities in order which giggly squad we just designed a t-shirt for the la fires and we're going to give all the proceeds to a charity that we pick.
If you guys have any charities that you're like really passionate about, send them to us. Yeah, we're like vetting because I feel like it's like if we're going to give money, I want to give it to the right places.
Right, and make sure. It's like going to where you actually say it's going to.
Sometimes these big ones, I'm like... hitting the right people yeah yeah i mean look gofundmes are great but you really do have to check them out make sure it's a friend who knows the person yeah this because during strifling times is that a crazy strife way to describe it what does strifle mean chris what does strifle mean strifling? I don't think that's a word.
It's not a real word, first of all. Urban dictionary.
You're talking about stifling. Urban dictionary says a combination of the words strife and trifle.
Strife meaning difficulty. Trifle meaning not really very important.
So maybe not strifling. Definitely not strifling.
Definitely not. Wait, strifling is my life though.
Not important? No, I've been strifling. No, I'm not getting it.
I've been strifling for like two weeks now. I'm not okay.
Wait, can we normalize strifling? The origin is Italian. And if you use it in a sentence.
Being really upset about things that don't matter. Yeah.
No, but I didn't realize everyone I know lives in LA. It's crazy.
It's devastating. I couldn't imagine.
I just couldn't imagine. It is so funny, too, with all the technology and we're so, you know, advanced.
We have cyber trucks that, first of all, we can't figure out how to turn on a TV with less than two remotes. Second of all, that like something so basic as fire, like we can't.
Yeah, they couldn't. It's almost weird.
Like the world will always beat us. Like the environment will always be like, gotcha, bitches.
No, like they didn't have water. No, it's so scary.

Like that's so fucked.

And there's nothing you could do.

But shout out, I feel like,

and LA, everyone needs to remember like,

yeah, it's huge mansions and famous people.

And then tons and tons of normal fucking people with houses.

Pacific Palisades, I feel like those houses,

like that's such a nice area

that I feel like those houses are passed down generation to generation. Like people have lived there for years.
It's not just like celebrities. It's like those are family homes.
Also New Yorkers, we all live in like tiny apartments. So when people are like, we lost our house, I'm like, holy shit.
Holy shit. Someone posted was like, I don't own jeans anymore.
Yeah, I know. And it's like, oh, my God.
Like, that's – I could not imagine losing everything in a fire. It's just so sad.
And also, if you're there, they're just saying, like, the air quality is so fucking bad. It's like, don't be a hero.
Wear a fucking mask. Yeah, truly.
We're going to be going full mom on people. So I hope Denise Richards' boobs are okay.
Oh, and that's how we started. Yeah.
She ruptured both her boobs. I watched Enora.
You did. Okay.
Wait, when you were talking about it on the pod, I thought you had watched it. No, I don't talk about things that I've watched.
And I don't talk about things that I know. So we're on the same page.
Now, my one note for Enora was that I think I was being a little like i'm from brooklyn i'll tell you how to talk if you're from brooklyn and i did like part of her accent i'd be like i don't know if that hit because something like water she'd be like water yeah once i watched it i knew what you were saying you could just tell that she was a girl from la doing a very good Brooklyn accent. She's a phenomenal actress.
But I was also like, for her to go from, hi, I'm Mikey Madison. I'm so excited to be a part of this film to talking like this.
Yeah. You motherfucker.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, it was low-key a dream role for me.
And I think I was jealous. Okay.
I was like, that was for me. And it's so big of you to admit that.
And that's how I feel about Ariana Grande. I'm just maybe jealous of her.
I'm like, I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn because I want her to be me. No, but people are saying that she's dressing like Aubrey Hepburn.

Did I call her Aubrey? That's okay.

That would have been... I'm so sorry.

It's okay. It's not my mom

or anything. Wait, Aubrey would have

changed her whole brand. Whole brand.

Yeah, but she's dressing like with the little bang

and stuff. Yeah, which I did first at the CFDA

awards, but anywho. No, we're not comparing.

We're not giving a score. No, we're not.

We, for anyone in a relationship, not you, for anyone... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha how no one asks me when i'm gonna have kids and that me and you will be getting interviewed and they'll be like Paige when are you gonna move to Charleston and then the crowd like kind of groans and I was like oh like rest in peace and everyone's like ah and I'm like but then they'll look at me and then go back and be like Paige when are you gonna move to Charleston and I'm like I'm fully married and no one has any question about me but also I do have say, it is so hard to be in a public relationship.
Doesn't I thrive by people not asking us questions about us? Right now. Imagine having your worst friends commenting on what they think your relationship's about.
That's what the internet is. Or what you're doing.
I'm like, wait a moment. Imagine your shittiest friends hanging out with you and you not telling them anything about what's going on with you, but they like saw you and then they go in the cab and talk to their friend gossiping about you, what they think's going on, and you can hear it.
That's the internet. No, the internet is literally someone texting you accidentally about yourself and then trying to cover it up when you say something.

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That's amazon.com slash ad-free podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads. My favorite thing actually this whole weekend was people were mad at me for a lot of things, but like none of them had to do, honestly, pertain to me.
But the one thing that did pertain to me, that was like actually true. Whereas people were like, oh, she thinks that she's a New Yorker.
Like she's from Albany. First of all, yes, I am from Albany.
And second, I am a New Yorker because I've lived here for 10 years. But thirdly, they were like a true New Yorker would never wear Eagles like outfit or like another team.
And I just want to say I'm a Fairweather fan. Like if there's one thing.
You were never out here saying I represent New York sports. No, if there's one thing about me, I don't give a fuck about your sports.
Okay. If the color matches my shoes, I'm wearing it.
If my friend sends me a dope jacket to any team, I'm wearing it. Kristen, can we shout out to Kristen? And I'm not trying to turn it on people, but do you not support women in the arts and small businesses? Actually, huge businesses, but do you not support women entrepreneurship? No, I think that Kristen is going...
Female founded companies? I genuinely think that she is going to become a billionaire on her own. Wow, I just got like titillated.
I think she just changed the whole course of like NFL. Can you google titillated? I feel like that was the wrong word too No that actually I think was right No but like I just It got me so excited Because she's so fucking talented And she's being What does it mean Chris? It means stimulate or excite Especially in a sexual way Yeah And that was right And that accurate.
No, and the other thing is she's so fucking nice and like gracious and sweet. Like she DM'd me and she was like, I want to send you a jacket.
And I was like, send me whatever one you want. And then I was going to the Eagles game.
And I was like, perfect. My outfit's going to hit.
Wait, Kristen, I will buy it. Can I buy a Knicks or a Mets or a – No, she only does NFL.
But she's going to expand. Well, yeah, she will expand.
She's expanding as we speak. No, as we speak, she's taking over the world.
What I was going to say about relationships that you wouldn't know about is that my latest thing is, yeah, the concept of keeping score. Like I was talking to my friend who was like, you ever feel like he

accuses you of this and then you didn't do that. It's a lot of like, I'm not, if you're keeping score, that's on you.
I'm not keeping score. And this goes from like little household chores to whatever.
And just like my biggest advice for marriage is a reminder that like you're not competing. You both are on the same team.
And the second you guys start keeping score against each other, like that's just a fight ready to happen.

100%.

So my new line is, are you keeping score?

Because I'm not keeping score.

Yeah.

I can count that high.

I'm illiterate and I don't know numbers.

And here's the other thing.

I don't care.

Period.

Period.

No, it's time to keep score.

We are strifling out in these streets.

No, I'm strifling.

Wait, let's... So Saturday morning? We try so hard not to get in trouble.
It's actually a miracle. I truly try so hard.
I'm like, oh, I'm not even doing anything. We will listen to pods and be like, did we say anything to attack anyone? I really need Us Weekly and People Magazine and Page Six to stop listening to Giggly Squad and taking the craziest things and writing an article because it's like, we're joking about everything.
So I wake up Saturday morning and I'm getting a FaceTime from Hannah Burner and I answer it and there's Marcelo Hernandez. We're on a three-way.
I said, wow. Did you feel? I got nervous.
I go, shoot, I did something. You guys keep me scoring.
Right in the moment, I go, I did something. I said something.
What the fuck did I say? I saw your face. You look, because with me, you never feel like you're in trouble.
No. You literally were like, what did I do? What did I do? Yeah.
And when I told this story about how I texted Marcelo and I said like, oh yeah, and he was like, fuck yeah. Like Like I didn't mean to make it sound like that was a direct quote from Marcelo.
When I initially told Marcelo that everyone thought that I cheated on my boyfriend with him, his initial reaction was LOL what? And then he never responded again. But in the story, I was like, yeah, he didn't give a fuck.
He was like, fuck yeah. Like who cares? Then articles come out being like, Marcelo's exact quotes after he found out.
And I, Marcelo was like, you're really fucking me over here? And so I felt so bad. He was, no, he was being so funny.
He goes, so you said when the rumor came out that we were dating, I responded and said, fuck yeah? I've never said fuck yeah. Anytime in my, I would never say fuck yeah.
I go, sorry, did you say kick ass sorry did you say kick ass like what did you say exactly he said lol what who is this so he goes how did you get my number he did not say fuck yeah yeah um so anyway that was like a bomb I had to diffuse over the weekend to only get like 7,000 more and I'm like I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I just wanted to wear a cool jacket.
But we did have fun with our dads at the Knicks game. It was like a full circle moment to like – we got those tickets.
We took our dad to those games. Yeah, we got those tickets because the owner of MSG owns Radio City.
And so because we sold out Radio City two days in a row, they were like, oh, here are some Knicks tickets. And obviously, we were like, we'll bring our dads.
Yeah. And Paige the whole time was making fun of our brothers, being like, where are they now? And your dad loved it.
My dad was crying. The only thing I cared about that night was making your dad laugh.
And I did it in the first half. And I was like, I can go home.
Do you feel like when you're hanging out with my dad, it was like kind of like hanging out with me at all? Exactly. Are we not the same person? No, everyone was saying like, oh, my God, our dads are so us-coded.
I loved it so much. Like me and my dad's outfits actually kind of match.
Like his shoes match my jacket. And you and your dad were very like sports.
So Paige's dad and Paige are sitting and like so calm, collected, look great. Wait, I have another story.
No, keep going. Oh, no, I know what you're going to say.
Okay. So then my dad is – my dad – I would say that I have a very split personality of, like, I can be my dad and then I can also be my mom.
But the majority I would say I am my dad. Yeah.
Same. And so, like, when he's out in public, I know he gets socially, like, anxious and awkward.
And here's the other thing. He can't hear very well.
So he gets even more nervous that, like, he's not going to be able to hear what someone's saying to him and he's also like a little shy like he's like oh he's so shy he's extremely shy like the party's here right unless you like fully know my dad he's not showing his personality he's black cat and he likes a one-on-one like when i'm one-on-one with him he's chatty chatty but like if we're in a group he plays security guard he stands by the door yeah he makes sure everyone is like looking at the exits yeah he also like does not do things with my mom like this was a really big deal for him to even without your mom yeah without my mom yeah to go somewhere and my mom not be involved like he was anxious the funniest moment was he turns to my dad and's like, so you guys eat a lot of Italian food? My dad was like, I mean, yeah. And he goes, but, like, every night is your wife making Italian food? And my dad's like, not every night.
I mean, we have, like, Chinese sometimes. And he goes, yeah, Kim likes Chinese, but I just want to eat her Italian food.
And I was like, this is the sweetest conversation. If someone ever suggests, like, a different cuisine, he goes, I feel like we're wasting our time.
He goes, why would we eat that and waste our time when we could eat Italian food? It was so you coded as we all went up. My dad and I ran to the buffet because we were like, we're getting our money's worth.
Yeah. These people are going to lose money on us at the buffet.
And I look at your dad and he was like, I'll just sit here. I'm a little, you know, I'm not in the mood to eat right now.
He was too overstimulated. He was like, I'll watch you back.
He didn't even walk over to the buffet. But when we were sitting there- My dad got ice cream before dinner.
He was having the best time of his life. He's like, my wife isn't around.
We're getting ice cream before dinner. When we got to like our seats, my dad got sat next to Billy Baldwin, who I like turned to my dad and I was like, hey dad, like just so you know, this is Billy Baldwin.
Like he like this and this and this. And he was like, okay.
He was the nicest guy ever. He talked to my dad the whole game.
My dad, I felt like this was my son and I was dropping him off to preschool and I was like, it's okay. These are going to be your friends.
He's sitting to my right. He's holding onto my jacket sleeve while he's talking to Billy Baldwin because I could tell he was nervous.
And so I turned to my dad and I was like, can you not hear him? Or like, do you want me to also be in the conversation? Are you nervous? He was like, no, no, I'm okay. I just like want it.
I just like, I was his security blanket. I literally went home and I cried like thinking about it.
Because I was like, that was so sweet. And our dads are so opposite.
We were sitting next to two actors. And my dad never stopped to think like, oh, maybe these are famous actors.
He's shooting the shit with them. Wait, the guy, I love him.
He's in. I think it's Skylar.
Righteous Gemstones. Righteous Gemstones.
Which I hadn't seen, but I recognized him. He's so good at it.
His girlfriend was so nice. Wait, you have to watch Righteous Gemstones.
It's really funny. I have to.
Yeah. But my dad, the ball goes into Skylar's hands.
And, like, you have to give it back. So he gives it back.
And my dad's like, well, you're not going to let me touch it? And Skylar's, so, like, he's busting balls with him. He's like, you're not going to let everyone in line touch it? You just throw it back? No, we took our sons to the game.
So then Skylar starts laughing hyster's busting balls with him he's like you're not gonna let everyone in line touch it you just throw it back no we took our sons to the game so then Skylar starts laughing hysterically they have a whole thing next time they the ball bounces again Skylar gets it gives it to my dad my dad's spinning it spinning it on his finger yeah having the best time of his life time of his life me and my dad are had one beer we were drunk and we're like trying to get the players to look at us like we were like Jalen you're doing great he noticed me like that's what we did the whole time um it was so much fun no it was a great time it was like super can oh can i make a psa there was a video going around of um someone filming us and it got to me and i gave him the finger yeah not that everyone thought it was a gigg but that was not a giggler. I would never give the finger to a giggler unless that was an inside joke.
Right. That was Chris DiStefano who deserved the finger.
Of course. He's another comedian and he was infringing on my personal space and he wanted the finger.
Right. So I gave him what he wanted.
And. No, I love a Knicks game.
We love a Knicks game. We did wave to chris and trey songs that we were waving at him so now we're in a band and the neighbors know my name um so that happened no i'm literally trey songs backup singer I'm obsessed.
No, but we had a great time and we definitely have to go back.

Yeah. One thing we didn't mention last week is the Giggly Squad cult got nominated for podcast of the year.
With iHeart. Which, you know what's so crazy is like I do.
You've never been nominated for anything. No, I do forget that like we have a podcast.
That people listen. Yeah, like I – it really – Yeah.
Unless like we do an episode where like I drop seven bombs and like walk away. Then I notice it because I'll get like the girls will be chatting.
But like week to week when we're just like shooting the shit, I do forget. We're people's inside joke.
Like they don't talk about it on the internet. It's just like we're in their head right like we're all besties girlies yeah um so when I saw that we got nominated for podcast of the year it was like a very surreal moment and it's I think the awards are at South by Southwest but to vote you have to like make a profile which I know is like annoying you have have to get a – I have to be honest.

I haven't voted yet because it was like you have to sign up for iHeart.

No, the admin, I was like, guys, no gigglers are doing this.

Give it to someone else.

This is our – if we've ever brought you joy, and I will do it right after this.

There's a link.

Yeah.

Press it.

Put a username and password for iHeart.

Vote for Giggly Squad as your favorite podcast.

Yeah.

And then we'll party till dawn. I mean, we'll go to bed at 9 p.m.
9 p.m. Yeah.
No, so I think that was like, we didn't even talk about it. We're so humble.
No, I just think I didn't. I thought it was a scam.
Me too. Do you listen to any podcasts? I do.
When I used to like walk to work and have a nine to five, I needed a podcast or music in my ear. I feel like with our job now, it's hard.
I'll listen to like one of a lot of different people. I don't have one that I'm like, I have to listen to this every week.
I'm the same way. I do one-offs.
I'm also like kind of nerdy. Like I like entrepreneurial pods, like how they built this and like that kind of stuff.
Like girls who started a brand. Like a couple months ago, I listened to like Mariana Hewitt on a podcast.
Yes. And I was like, I'm obsessed with you.
I love that stuff. Or I like comics talking about like how they made a joke.
Yeah. No, those are – here's a good one.
Here's the other thing. I listen to our pod every week.
And that's where you're like sick in the head. That's where like your brain needs to be studied because – I listen to it every week.
I can't listen to my own voice. And like kudos to all of you who like listen to me every week.
Thank you. I can't.
You know what's funny? I thought about this the other week. I usually don't like the sound of my own voice either.
But I remembered when I – remember when you were little like we we had answering machines, like legit machines. Yeah.
And you'd be like, beep, just kidding. Like people would do the most insane voicemails.
I would beg my mom every day, like, let me redo the answering machine. And she would always let me.
And there was something about like pressing record and then doing like I would do it in a Jersey accent. I would do it in a British accent.
I would like come up with these different ideas of like what the answering machine should be. And I was obsessed with it.
And then I was like, wait, I host a podcast now. That was your practice to become a podcaster.
I was like, mom, record. I'm ready.
I remember that I had one that was literally me giggling, which is so obviously us coded. It was me being like, this is not a L.A.
And I did that like in college. And then I started to like apply for jobs.
And I remember my mom being like, hey, you have like professional people calling you and you're just giggling in your voicemail. Can you have more professional? I think I still I haven't redone it for like 20 years.
No, I wish my family like saved that machine. I mean, I was like seven years old and I was like, I think I could do a British accent.

Literally because I watched The Parent Trap once.

Now that you're single, are you going to go to bars and pretend you have a different accent and name?

Have you ever done that?

Yes.

What is with like girls loving to do that?

Being like, I'm British.

My name is Annie tonight.

It's just really freeing because I feel like you aren't, you already know like you're not, it's for the emotionally unavailable. A hundred percent.
And it's for like, it's stressful to be yourself. It's almost like when you act as a character, you're completely like, do whatever you want because you're like, that's not me.
He didn't reject me. Right right he rejected annie who's honestly kind of stuck up well you know it's funny because i feel like i've so i talked to so many i'm in my dms recently too because the girls are sending like a lot of motivational things and so like being with the girls that are single in their early 30s one of the biggest things is like we're not in our 20s anymore so it's like not that you can't be single the way you were in your 20s.
You can do whatever you want. But it's you almost like don't want to be.
Like when I got single at like 28, I was like, catch me in every single club that exists in New York City. And like I was there.
Like you could find me in a club. Now I'm like, I would pass away.

Yeah, I don't know how you did that. If I went to a club till 4 a.m., like I'd literally pass away.
So it is weird like thinking of like, okay, well, what am I going to do being single? I've done a couple of dinners with my girlfriends. I haven't gone like out, out yet.
as you guys know I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers.
I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly i didn't even realize that i added a lot of white heels which i think is perfect because i feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but i really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but i'm obsessed with them so take a look at.com. Right now, the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them.
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And Starface just launched a new face wash and moisturizer.'s for breakout prone and sensitive skin so literally perfect for me both products feature salicylic acid and they help unclog your pores and minimize your breakouts starwash is a foamy cleanser which is my favorite kind of cleansers i just feel like they really get in your pores you just like know it's working and the star cream is a lightweight moisturizer that basically melts into your skin and feels like a cloud and obviously star face has like the cutest packaging and they're just cute fun products so start by washing your face with a star wash and then you can put a star on any spots you need and you can finish with the star cream i'm going through a lot of breakouts right now so i would literally have a galaxy on my face you can find starwash and star cream right now at ulta beauty target and starface.world if you're running a business you know that every time you miss a call you're leaving money on the table when every customer conversation matters you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected open phone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications. Plus, with AI-powered call transcripts and summaries, you'll be able to automate follow-ups, ensuring you'll never miss a customer interaction again.
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I remember when I was on dating apps, when I first started Summer House, guys were already like referencing things or like quoting stuff. and it was like kind of weird because you felt like oh they already like think they know me and I don't I don't love that I have to like battle whatever image they think they have of me yeah um and you're gonna have to deal with that like a hundred times worse can I yeah I don't want if if any of these magazine people are listening can I make a statement yeah I Yeah, I would love it.
I love how, like, I want to make statements. No, before we started the pod, Hannah goes, okay, now, look alive, don't say anything bad.
And you're like, actually, I forgot two things. No, I just want to talk about breakups.
And I don't, like, look at the comments or anything. But, like, can we normalize not being completely destroyed after a breakup like I feel like everyone thinks that like when girls get broken up with or they have a breakup that's like the saddest thing ever like it's actually so empowering and I've been joking how like when girls go through a breakup they're glowing the fuck up they suddenly become like Pilates instructors they're going to Harvard like.
They've read a hundred books. They're asking their friends.
You said a really important quote this morning. You said if someone sees a breakup and they immediately think, what did the girl do? That's mental illness.
No, that's so scary. For relationships, there are, it takes two to tango.
In the history of anyone breaking up, when has the girl ever done ever done anything no but there's rarely like one person that's the devil and one's great like then why would you be together for so long but i do have to say i feel like also in terms of reflecting i feel like girls after breakups will like talk to their friends and be like how did i end up in this how can i do better what's the thing and then guys will sit together and who would win in a fight, a bear or a tiger? I do have to say for anyone going through a breakup right now, breakups to me are like corporate jobs. You're not actually going to get a raise unless you leave and get another job.
You guys, I was 29, single during COVID, living with my mom, dad, and four cats. And she looked at me.
She looked at me and she had that honest mom moment where she was like, do we want to, like, is there anything you could have done differently? And I looked her right in the eye and I said, nobody got away. Yeah.
I feel like that too. Nobody got away.
Have you ever been broken up with? The only times I've been broken up with have been like messy situationships you know the like two month there that like oh a situation oh a situation ship will fuck me up yeah those are all i've never like someone said to me like oh are your exes reaching out now that you like got a netflix special or whatever all my real relationships that have been like over a year have been like two people who know each other that I've gotten out of. Thank God.
I one time mourned a situationship that was two months for three years. No, no.
Those are the ones because you don't actually know them. Yeah, so I made up a whole scenario about this man.
I don't think anyone's been upset about a breakup once you know the person because you're like, yeah, I'll miss that. But also that.
I've had guys who I fully have been so into that my mom was like, can you break up with them? And I would be like, okay, and then you find someone else. But I've definitely – In the wise words of Kimberly Noel Kardashian, I didn't come this far to come this far and not be happy.
And I think she saw it on the internet. Did she say that? Someone else said it and she saw it.
Thomas Jefferson. No, I just think there's such a like media perspective of girls like sobbing in the shower and being like, I'm nothing without him.
Here's one thing I want to talk, like the girl, I've had, I've been talking to the girls in my DMs. I have so many girls that are going through breakups like right now.

I also think I like push them to do it.

To get a cat, break up with a boyfriend.

It is kind of crazy to see some friends just like, see ya, like poof.

If this was what it was to get you out of my life, God, thank you for protecting me.

Thank you for steering me in a direction where like certain people are kind of just like falling off. That's your 30s.
And I'm like so interested to see if like the other girls in their 30s that are going through breakups, like if any of their friends like that they didn't think would turn on them turned on them because that's also a very weird like headspace to be in. I like in your 20s when your friends turn on you you go oh no what can I do to get them back I suck yes I need to be cooler I need to be funnier what's wrong with me when we're in your 30s when people show you who they really are you go oh thank god I almost had them in my inner circle I was like I almost told them my hopes and dreams I go I got you out my life for free.
I go, bitch, that was the best thing you could have ever said to me.

See ya.

And I do have to say, sometimes those people will come knocking back.

But when you love yourself, you go, oh, I will never forget when I was down, being like

kicked down a dead horse.

So many people have-

You kicked me.

So many people have lost complete access to me and I love it.

It's honestly like so freeing. Like you can still be alive and be dead to me.
So many people have lost complete access to me, and I love it. It's honestly, like, so freeing.
Like, you can still be alive and be dead to me. Okay? And I won't even mourn it, but I'll have a funeral.
What? Wait, I sent you a funny meme. Oh, wait.
What? So me and Hannah went and did those full-body MRI scans. We have a code for the Gigglers.
We'll put it in the newsletter. Did you go to yours? Yeah.
Okay. So this is per new vote report.
It was on like 34th and 6th. It's so crazy because before I went, one of my friends was like, oh my God, are you claustrophobic? And I was like, I guess we'll find out when I'm in there.
Me and Hannah went at different times. Hannah was already in there and then I went in.
But when we both got out, we were like, I'll take a nap. I loved it.
This was like, you know, was it scary? I was like, I've never felt more protected. Relaxed.
I had, I was watching the Jerry Springer documentary. I watched Sex and the City.
They put Netflix on. It was so loud.
Like obviously there's like a lot of like machinery working. I almost fell asleep.
I would have fallen asleep if they didn't come over the loudspeaker and say, you have to hold your breath right now. I was like, I was almost hitting REM.
I did fall asleep the last 10 minutes. And it was the most peaceful sleep I've had in a while.
No, it was so peaceful. So the thing with these body scans is like, when do you scan your whole body? Unless you're like, even when you're getting an MRI, it's normally like just a specific part.
So this is like a full body just checking to see if there's anything going on. Yeah.
So it took about, it took about an hour. You lay there, you go in and out of this machine.
There were certain parts where you had to like have the same breathing pattern, but like all in all, it was one of the easiest experiences. Then they send you your update.
So I just opened mine. Oh my God.
Okay. So it's organized versus nervous system.
How many findings? Two. I had four.
Okay. Click on it.
Wait, are we going to find out something crazy right now? These are small, less than five millimeter white spots seen in your white matter of the brain. This finding is relatively common in people over the age of 30 and the number of spots can increase slowly if at, with aging.
These are generally asymptomatic, although in some people there is a slight correlation to migraine. The exact cause of these cannot be determined.
Do you have migraines? I don't, but I thought I was going to be like, you're crazy. See, I got spondylarthropy of the cervical spine, mild degenerative changes in your,

like their bulges at C3, 4, C5, 6, and C6, 7 with a mild central canal stenosis.

These mild do not need a follow-up if you have no symptoms.

But I mean, I think it's okay.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to check it with Dez's.

Yeah.

Because we'll see what Dez has.

What else are you reading?

Okay, my next one was I had one respiratory finding, one minor finding.

What is it?

Consistent with S-I-N-U-S-I-T-I-S. Oh, Sinaitis.
Sounds like an Italian town that like got on, like literally was killed by lava. Oh, like back in Rome, Sinaitis was...
What is it? Just like inflammation or infection in one more of the sinuses in the head. Oh, so you have like a little sinus infection.
I have a little sinus. I have a deviated septum, which is crazy because I only did coke once and I immediately got a nosebleed.
We have I have one reproductive finding. Okay.
What is it?

A small amount of fluted in the cul-de-sac is normal. Discuss the finding with your doctor.

If you have, oh, I must, I bet I have a cyst. Oh my God.
I think I have a cyst.

Or is that a baby? Hannah. Looks like a head.
Yeah, because who would have been with? Now, fuck me up. TikTok.
Page 6, why don't you chill? It's just. We knew that you've had PCOS.
I do. I have this.
Yeah, so it's not that crazy, but. What's the thickness of your endometrial thickness? Where do you see that? I have it in my reproductive system because I just got an informational finding.
It says my endometrial thickness is measured at five millimeters. I just want to know if that's tiny or big.
I don't have measurements.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't important.

I have one musculoskeletal –

wow, I love that people at Pernuvo are probably like,

these girls are too dumb to explain.

No, the people were so nice there too.

They were so nice.

Oh, yeah, so they're giving us $300 off for the Gigglers.

Okay, amazing.

And we're going to put it in the newsletter, but I think it's Giggly Squad. No.
It's pernuvo.com slash giggliesquad. I have a musculatel thing.
What is that? We detected a region of bursitis. What's that? There is a region of bursitis located in the subcoracoid bursa of your right shoulder.
This is a benign condition. It's probably from tennis.
From serving really hard. From being a fucking beast on the court.
Serving. Slay.
Wait, not to bring up that I wasn't allowed to be out of the house yesterday, but when I was at the Eagles game, there was someone on the team. Not that I know any fucking people.
There was someone on the team and their last name is Slay Jr. I was obsessed.
If you guys have never seen the Key and Peele sketch. Chris! If you guys have never seen the Key and Peele sketch of football last names, it's the funniest shit you'll ever see on the internet.
Wait, Chris was so cute earlier. He said, can he come to Giggly Squad Live on Friday? Wait, so we're doing a Chris reveal.
I already told you you have to come, like legally. He's going to bring a friend too, so he's not by himself.
I don't know if we have a space for him to bring a friend. It's sold out.
We'll have to talk to our people. I'll kill my friend.
Who's your friend? I don't know. I hadn't picked one yet.
I don't know if I had that privilege yet. Yes, of course you can bring a friend, but preferably not bad energy.
Imagine Chris just brings this fucking douchebag who's like, you guys aren't even funny. Like heckles us on the crowd.
He's just heckling us the whole time. And I'm like, is that just Chris's friend that we told him he shouldn't bring? We're doing a Chris reveal for Radio City.
Also, my Nana is coming. She already has her dress.
She's so funny.

I'm obsessed. She bought – she was like, can you get me these boots? Because I wanted to get her shoes for it.
And she was like, make sure they're pointed toe or I won't wear them. I was like, you are Paige.
Same. But like same-sies.
Imagine being 83 and being like, I'm not wearing your not pointed toe boots. Hannah, one of my favorite moments from your fucking wedding was Nana complaining about her shoes and how like she just was like, oh, I just can't believe I have to wear these.
Oh, yeah, because she had a stroke. She broke her hip like this.
She's had breast cancer and she refuses to wear flats. She wants to wear stilettos.
The woman still dyes her hair, does full fucking glam, shows off her decolletage. I'm obsessed.
Wears a choker and has a matching choker for every outfit. They don't make them like her anymore.
No. She's stunning.
But also it's, it's the day that she doesn't want to wear stilettos. That's when I know there's a problem.
Yeah. So like Nana, wear your stilettos even though you literally don't have a hip.
And that's called athleticism.

No, it is. But I wondered where I get my athleticism from.

She's like, I don't have toes anymore, but I'm going to wear it.

Are you okay?

Oh, speaking of, I think I have, I think I did something. I've been like so into Pilates.

I think I have a cyst in my wrist. Well, you just got a skin and you don't.
I don't know if they caught it. Or is it a recent cyst? It's a recent – I think it's recent.
How often are you doing Pilates? I've been trying to go three times a week because I'm out here. Good for you.
See, this is post-breakup. It just gets you going.
I even got a shout-out in class the other day. Page good form.
I was like, what? I was so excited. Wait.
I said that's never happened to me before in my life. What are you going i even got a shout out in class the other day page good form i said what i was so excited we said that's never happened to me before are you gonna do y7 with me one of these days i will i've been doing new y7 with me one of these days i will i've been doing new y7 with me one of these days i will i've been doing new y7 with me one of these days just because i like had bought a package from them like a couple months ago that i literally never used yeah i also i sent you there's a youtube i'll put it in the newsletter this girl does like a 30 minute pilates that you could just do You just need a yoga mat and like maybe weights.
I did it one morning. It was so good.
It was really good. I was dying.
Actually, Joey Camasta texted me and was like, I want to be a hot Pilates girl. And so I sent her my number and I was like, come anytime.
I need more gays. Yeah.
As a single woman, I need more gays. Yes, 100%.
So if you're gay and looking, so am I. Wait, should there be an app for straight girls to connect with gay boys? Yeah.
Now that's a dating app. I'd immediately go on.
Wait, how has no one thought about that? Because there is something so much more humbling when like a gay man in my life calls me and tells me like what the fucking deal is.

Would you rather a straight guy not like you

or a gay guy not like you?

Would you rather a straight guy not be interested

or a gay guy be like I'd rather talk?

I don't give a fuck about the straight man.

If a gay man said like,

I'm just like not really down with Paige.

How do you think I feel every Giggly Squad live

when a gay guy takes a microphone and goes, hi Hannah,, Paige. Paige, I'm obsessed with you.
Hi, Hannah. No, there's something with me and gay men I just feel like, because obviously I am very girly.
But I'm also very snarky. And sometimes girls like don't have that same humor.

And I think having a brother.

Gay men loved my special. I think gay men who didn't see my Netflix special don't understand me is what I'm telling myself.
Yeah. But I do have a gay male following.
It's just, I think, different kind of male gaze than yours. Yeah.
I don't know what it is. Oh, also the lesbians messaged me and someone said like that.

They said that me and someone said like that.

They said that me and you are a lesbian couple.

Yeah.

Just not sexually.

Not sexually, but like we are a lesbian couple.

And that you're like a femme icon.

Like 100% in the lesbian community.

And they were just like, we all just talk about you guys.

You're like the Ruby Rose of our relationship.

Yes.

And I'm like. Well, look, when we hold hands, you guys like you're a couple.
You're like the Ruby Rose of our relationship. Yes.
And I'm like Portia.

Well, look, when we hold hands, my hand is facing down.

Yeah.

You know, like the girl goes like, and I go like 100%.

That's why when everyone's like, who's Paige going to date?

I'm like, she's good.

She's in a happy relationship.

She's been in a happy relationship.

I've supported and cares for her.

So, yeah.

No, I'm obsessed.

We're obsessed with MRIs and the gays.

And if Us Weekly says Paige Sorbo and Hannah Burner are dating,

I'm going to go're obsessed with MRIs and the gays.

And if Us Weekly says

Pedro Sorbo and Hannah Berner

are dating,

see you in court.

See you in motherfucking court.

Put that on the record,

motherfuckers.

Oh, my God.

Anyway, yeah.

Thank you so much

for giggling with us.

I do have,

I added a show in Irvine.

Hopefully, we'll be able to do it.

And Alabama.

Catch us outside. In Connecticut.
How about that? Catch us outside. And we can't wait for Radio City.
Yes. Bye.
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