Giggling about roasts, jokes, and shaved heads

Speaker 1 So, I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said, I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch.

Speaker 1 So, I started listing them on Depop, and honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over, and someone out there will be obsessed with them.
And the best part, there's no seller fees, none.

Speaker 1 So, the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy.
I listed something while watching TV, and it sold before the episode even ended.

Speaker 1 Depop isn't just one aesthetic, either, it's all of them. Minimal, street wear, date night, whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it.

Speaker 1 So download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite.

Speaker 1 And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style Hotline.

Speaker 1 We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at gigglystylehotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show.

Speaker 1 Depop, where taste recognizes taste. Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad.
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Speaker 1 Sup Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit.

Speaker 1 We can't be managed.

Speaker 1 I mean the day just got away from me.

Speaker 1 What's up my get back to work gigglers? No more relaxing. We're taking on the town.
Honestly, I miss Giggly Squad. I feel like I've lived seven lives since our last pod.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, we have to apologize not only to the Academy,

Speaker 1 but we dropped the most dramatic episode ever on a Monday with no warning. And we were just like, figure it out, Googlers.
The drama. The drama.

Speaker 1 And then we went radio silent. See ya.

Speaker 1 The only place you could find me was in TikTok Comments.

Speaker 1 That's the only place I live. Which is so funny because I haven't been allowed to look at like Bravo-related stuff for years now.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing. I'm in TikTok comments like in general.
Like I'm in there. It's better than actual videos that comment.
Yeah, like I pop in there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So like when I see one about me, I couldn't, I was like, let me tell you about your fucking self for a second. Like I couldn't resist.

Speaker 1 And you sued someone.

Speaker 1 No. How many people did you sue? I'm so obsessed with the gigglers someone.

Speaker 1 First, wait, first and foremost, let me just say the gigglers like gave me life this week.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't think I would have survived this week if I didn't see the gigglers in the comments being like, you don't fucking get it. She's not actually suing you.

Speaker 1 Like, I started getting tagged of like people being like really tired, being like the gigglers this week trying to defend Hannah and Paige, like this woman smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 1 Just like the gigglers, you guys, you work so hard. No, they worked so hard.
I felt like I had 17 million girlfriends just being like,

Speaker 1 what'd you say to to her? What the fuck? Say it to my face. Say it to my face.

Speaker 1 I didn't cry in the breakup episode, but I literally might cry over the gigglers because I just, I knew that this week was going to be like a little tough.

Speaker 1 I was not expecting like the amount of misogyny and like the 65-year-old boy moms can absolutely fuck off. The act of dating is figure out, figuring out how long you want to be with that person.

Speaker 1 And then you get to a point where you go, I think we did our time. I feel like I was extremely graceful

Speaker 1 and nice on the last pod.

Speaker 1 That was just one version of me. Okay.
I made the right decision. Don't make any lasagna.

Speaker 1 The virtual lasagna that I got, my aunt Pam literally had frozen me lasagna and sent it to my apartment. She's just like a queen.

Speaker 1 Shoot, I was going to say something and literally now I forget.

Speaker 1 The only, like I don't care about any rumor that is like ever said about me. I felt like that TikTok sound when it's like, you're a drug dealer.
I was like, what?

Speaker 1 Like, watching things about myself. The only thing that I was like, Okay, can't like let this go by was because it was like a third party involved.

Speaker 1 It was like people saying that I cheated on Craig with Marcelo, which, when I first saw that, I has I died. I was saying, I was laughing.

Speaker 1 I was gonna text him, and then I was like, I don't even want to bother him with this because it's so stupid. I felt weird.

Speaker 1 I was like, I feel like I have to text Marcelo because, like, what if he sees that? What if he has a girlfriend?

Speaker 1 Just for the record, have you ever texted him one-on-one, not in our bachelorette group chat?

Speaker 1 one time to get me into the snl shane gillis after party literally the only time i've ever texted marcella was hey do something for me and get me to meet shane gillis so i hate when i see that i go that wait that's my baby brother yeah i go that's my literature would never touch my baby brother i can't have sex with a minor that's illegal chat literally he is our baby we birthed him from our pussies domingo came out of my fucking vaginal canal so i just like texted him i I was like, hey,

Speaker 1 just want to let you know there's like a rumor going around that like I cheated on my boyfriend with you. And he was just like, fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, should we make a sketch

Speaker 1 where he comes out as Domingo and he's like,

Speaker 1 what did he say?

Speaker 1 I don't even know, but like he was sending me screenshots of DMs he was getting of people being like, we fucking hate you now. If you're the reason, and I was like, Marcelo, I'm so fucking sorry.

Speaker 1 Like, this is so embarrassing. And

Speaker 1 no one involved was defending me, which I found interesting.

Speaker 1 No, because I think anyone involved was like,

Speaker 1 we're not taking this seriously. But it is crazy to be on the side of like seeing stuff being made up and then like how it just can like go through the internet like crazy.
So rapid fire.

Speaker 1 I was like, wait, am I going to jail? No, that was like when I... There was a rumor that Des and I broke up.
Yeah. And I was like at the Verizon store and he wasn't there.

Speaker 1 And I texted him and I was like, are we broke up?

Speaker 1 No, it's so crazy. This is why I want you to not be in the comments because you don't need extra anger.
You're already Sicilian. We're ready up to here.
We're going to snap at any second.

Speaker 1 You don't need this. But I do have to say.
I think people forget that we're Sicilian. They forget.
I think that they need to be reminded.

Speaker 1 And this is your fucking reminder. I'll show up to your house.

Speaker 1 But it's also like,

Speaker 1 I think breakups are so beautiful. And I was just getting a lot of really positive messages from the gigglers.
The gigglers were sending me some of the like, the nicest therapist girl.

Speaker 1 Did you see that video? Yeah, she said, now we started crying. She said, like, six girls had brought up your breakup.

Speaker 1 I hope that your breakup caused a massive breakup where everyone broke up with their boyfriend. We all got cats months ago.
And then we were like, wait, are we lesbians?

Speaker 1 And this is why I got a lot of backlash on my Instagram last night because I said, I want you to shave your head like I'm a stone.

Speaker 1 The girls were not happy. They said, said, first of all, I think you're sabotaging Paige just our bone.
I go, she does that to herself. Second of all,

Speaker 1 they were like, she's going through a breakup. Why would you even put this in her head when she's vulnerable? I said, okay, valid point.

Speaker 1 And then three, they were like, no one's going to pit, no guy will want to date her. And I go, again,

Speaker 1 amazing. But still, the misogyny in that, people don't realize I'm, I'm a creative.
I come up with ideas. I throw ideas at Paige.
She takes what she wants. I'm just throwing stuff in there

Speaker 1 just because it hasn't been done doesn't mean it can't be done well you want to know what i think i think there's an audrey hepburn bio pic that's circulating hollywood that's what i heard and i think all the actresses are trying to get that role and so they're dressing like her they're cutting their hair like her and they're like do you know who i think is gonna get it I'll say who I, who I think should get it.

Speaker 1 You say who you think should get it. I just heard randomly today.
Wait, that's dude on the count three. Okay.
One, two, three, and Ariana Grande. I don't like that.

Speaker 1 I didn't cast her.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Here's another thing I have to say.
I've been really, I've been trying to watch Wicked for

Speaker 1 we're going on seven days now. I've taken seven phenomenal naps right when it starts.
Wicked would be so good without the singing. Wicked would be so fucking fire without the singing.

Speaker 1 But do you see how you are, Glenda? Yes. Ariana, from what i've what i saw

Speaker 1 15 minutes intermittently she's crushed she's amazing she's phenomenal she's the best singer of our entire generation i don't want her to be audrey hepburn why she's italian

Speaker 1 i

Speaker 1 i shouldn't say that because i do love her and i actually do think she probably could do the role because i've we've seen her like be able to commit and like whatever In my head, it's someone older.

Speaker 1 But what if she's playing her that age? Yeah, no, you're right. But like, I just think Anne Hathaway has always looked the most like her or Lily Collins.
Or you. Or me.

Speaker 1 Honestly, maybe I'll just, maybe I just want to drink. I'm like, I've never acted.
Put me in, coach.

Speaker 1 I've seen you on Summerhouse. You're pretty good at it.

Speaker 1 According to everyone on the internet, I've been acting for three years.

Speaker 1 My mom is like the best mom ever. And when I was little, not little, I think maybe it was in like seventh or eighth grade and something happened for the first time ever, like with a boy.

Speaker 1 And I remember my mom tell saying to me, and she'd like repeat it to me, like every couple of years, and she would say, Paige, I need you to understand that this is a man's world.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's a man's world, so you need to always be smarter, quicker, like thinking on your feet. Like, you're gonna get fucked over in situations that you shouldn't just because you're a woman.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that always stuck in the back of my head. And I think people get so mad at me because because I move like a guy.
I've always moved in the world like a fucking guy.

Speaker 1 I will ghost the fuck out of you. I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 I like will take your job. I'm not the kind of crazy where it's like, I need to get back at you.
It's I'll get, I'll take your job and become your boss and then I'll fire you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like that's my kind of crazy.

Speaker 1 No, 100%. So it was just like very telling.
Like I knew our world was misogynistic, but I didn't know to the extent until it was like coming at me.

Speaker 1 I do have to say, I saw a stat on Instagram. Guys in their 20s, one in five are in relationships, and girls in their 20s, it's like two out of three.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And the way that makes sense is because girls don't want to date guys in their 20s. They want to date older guys.
I'm not saying I started that, but like I probably did.

Speaker 1 And there's like a maturity thing, but that there is a problem with men right now. Like majority of homeless are men.
Majority of addicts are men.

Speaker 1 Obviously, majority of people,

Speaker 1 murderers are men. But at this point, what do we do? Because now, Chris, what do we, Chris, what do we do? Because I was talking to my cousin who's at FIT.
I was like, who are we dating?

Speaker 1 And she was like, no, it's not good out there. And I was like, sorry, I'm with

Speaker 1 an older

Speaker 1 gentleman. Yeah.
Chris, can you tell me the year women were allowed to get divorced? They weren't allowed to get a credit card without until

Speaker 1 like 197.

Speaker 2 What is that? 1969, I guess.

Speaker 1 1969. 1969.
That's fucking crazy because that's like when our moms moms were born. Like, we're just second generation of women.
No, our parents were literally like 10 years old. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 That's fucking crazy. Also, I've been working on this bit about icks and how, like, the reason icks got so popular is because we literally weren't allowed to have icks before.
No, we couldn't say it.

Speaker 1 Like, he'd be sitting, he'd be like singing in a restaurant, happy birthday to another table, and you'd be like, Well, I literally can't get a divorce. So, like, la la la la la.

Speaker 1 Where now, like, he comes in with flip-flops and you go, divorce motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 We've made a whole career on talking about ex and the things we hate about men. A whole fucking career.
You literally just got tagged in something of me being like, I hate if he's bad at bowling.

Speaker 1 And you go, I hate if he's good at bowling. And I was like, oh, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Can we talk about Nikki Glazer for? Yes.

Speaker 1 Because one of her jokes to Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban was like, Keith thinks we're playing the guitar so much that Nicole Kidman won and made 18 movies this year. Like, so true.

Speaker 1 She's probably like, did you ever shut the fuck up?

Speaker 1 It's so funny because you just envision him like trying out a new thing. And she's like, ooh, my agent just gone.
She's like, that's crazy. I have to go to America.

Speaker 1 She crushed it. I mean, it was so good.
It was so funny when she said that no one had eyelids in Hollywood left. That was so fucking funny.
I also,

Speaker 1 I love that she also didn't play the like, look, like everything's so effortless. And I'm just like, so chill.
And like, this is just me. She was like, I worked my ass off for this for 20 years.

Speaker 1 I've been in the trenches. I did this set 91 times.
I hired 10 writers and I'm testing and testing. And I know I'm going to kill it because I put the work.
I love it.

Speaker 1 I hate when people are just like, oopsie, poopsy. I crushed it.
And then you're sitting at home like, oh, I guess like I'll never be talented enough. No, I think she's such an inspiration.

Speaker 1 Not only did she crush her job, she looked

Speaker 1 obviously wasn't an effortless job. She looked effortless though.
She looked gorgeous. She looked stunning.
I think

Speaker 1 something like we like to put out in the world is how women can be multifaceted. Like you can be beautiful, but also a bitch.

Speaker 1 I can be funny, but also depressed. And I love that she's multifaceted on there.
And it's like, she's not just like, oh, I hate myself and I'm funny. No, she's like, I'm hot, but I'm also funny.

Speaker 1 But I also worked really hard for this. I also was nervous.
Like, just the multifaceted, just being a human. Yeah, she's very just authentic and relatable.

Speaker 1 I also loved that people were like, she's the best host since Tina Faye and Amy Poehler, which I like forgot that they used to host it. Shout out, Amy.
And they were phenomenal. And it's like, oh.

Speaker 1 Does anyone know what guy has ever fucking hosted? No, because he sucked. Remember when Joe Coi did it? Get the fuck out of my face.

Speaker 1 Like, that's crazy I have some like tea yeah did you know that Nikki Glazer is the reason Des and I are married no

Speaker 1 I don't know if I ever like said wait no so

Speaker 1 Des

Speaker 1 I saw Des

Speaker 1 like eight years ago at the comedy seller when I was like in sales or something yeah I thought he was so cute but his whole set wait That's so crazy because I keep getting TikToks that's that are like you meet your husband twice

Speaker 1 Stop. Is that nuts? That's crazy crazy.
Cause like, I remember thinking he's so cute, he's so whatever, but his, he lives in Ireland. His whole set was how he's in Ireland.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, but I like remembered him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then years later, I get into comedy and he starts following me.

Speaker 1 And I follow him back and like nothing happens. Okay.

Speaker 1 How long is this before you went on your first date? Like a year? A year. Okay.
So we've been following each other for like a year. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then I take a photo with Luann and I tag that I'm in Shelter Island. He DMs me, are you out east? Yes.
Do you want to get coffee in Psych Harbor? Here's my digits. Got there.

Speaker 1 Did he actually say the word digits? I said digits. Okay.
I was like really into it. I was like,

Speaker 1 long story short, he was like, oh, I started following you because you were in the background of Nikki Glazer's Instagram story and I thought you were pretty. And he goes, I thought you had fake lips.

Speaker 1 You do have phenomenal lips. I think you

Speaker 1 are overlined right now. They do always look plump.
But he basically was like, I was following. So because of Nikki, my son.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Because him and Nikki had been friends. Wait, that's crazy.
Have you ever told her that? Yes.

Speaker 1 And also, Nikki, early on, one night, she was like, do you want to follow me around?

Speaker 1 And I was like, yes, please. I just want to smell your hair.
That's so nice. She literally was like,

Speaker 1 I'm practicing my set. And I watched her do a set at the stand.
We jumped in a car, went to the cellar. I watched her do three other spots.

Speaker 1 We sat at like the table and she looked at me and I asked her some like stupid questions. I was like, how do you remember? Like I just asked her,

Speaker 1 do you forget thing? Do you bomb? Yeah. And she just was like so nice and like from that moment on, I was like really inspired.
Women supporting women. Women supporting men.

Speaker 1 You love to see it. I feel like all, I don't know why I feel like this, probably just because of the week I had.

Speaker 1 I feel like all the gigglers and like the girls are in on a secret that like the guys don't know.

Speaker 1 It's like the guys and the women over 65, they're on their own island and we're all Chris is on our island too. Okay.
We don't know what he does when he leaves the studio though.

Speaker 1 Like we cannot, he cannot be held accountable. Yeah, like we don't know who he dates.
Did you think when you wrote

Speaker 1 see you in court to that one guy that he was gonna

Speaker 1 put Joe Michael?

Speaker 1 I certainly didn't think like People Magazine was gonna be like Paige

Speaker 1 like Paige threatens legal action. I was like it's a joke like it's a fucking giggly squad.
I'm a joke to my fucking life. Yeah, I was like listen to my podcast you idiots.

Speaker 1 No, the gigglers have been defending us day and night. I think they're like taking turns.
No, and they're like tirelessly working.

Speaker 1 Also, I need to shout out Tracy Carnazzo and like a team of gigglers sent me a massive bouquet of flowers. It literally looked like I died in a car.

Speaker 1 I was like, wait, what happened? It was so nice. And then they donated $500 to a woman's shelter.

Speaker 1 Is that not the sweetest? I was like, it's all worth it. No, because there's all people.
There are fucking people. Well, because

Speaker 1 our own

Speaker 1 was going through it last week, one of our own.

Speaker 1 We had a lot of

Speaker 1 range of emotions that we went through. At one point, my mom was like, I think I need to hang up.

Speaker 1 And I hate to say, I was kind of happy that you were getting some press because I was trying to get out of my own press.

Speaker 1 No, literally,

Speaker 1 it was getting mauled with a blink, lively Josephine Baldonia. I go hold my beer.
Literally, hold on, I've got your back. I literally was like, okay, we're dropping an episode tomorrow.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 There was a moment where I was like, should we just drop it today to really like, to this?

Speaker 1 My only note, I'm gonna, my only note that I'm gonna say about that is that it was kind of crazy that there were like five comics and we're all doing like the roughest roast jokes you could think of.

Speaker 1 Yes. And one line from me is the only thing that got picked up.
Hannah, Tim Dylan, I love him. Just like a murdered man.
And everyone was like phenomenal, creative. You said the word cunt.

Speaker 1 And they were like, I'm sorry. This whole week, I felt like a witch in Salem.

Speaker 1 I was like, wait a second, my ancestors truly are like, bitch. Also, I just want to say, the joke in general was kind of phenomenal and hilarious.
It was about how like girls are getting hate. Yes.

Speaker 1 It was highbrow, high level. It's super highbrow.
I also have to say that the word cunt in America, people fucking hate. But it's an amazing word.
They lost their mind. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Gen Z, like, really, shout out to Gen Z for bringing that to like

Speaker 1 it being normal.

Speaker 1 There were some people that were like mad at me. So this one woman kept commenting on my photos cunty and I was like, I don't think she'd know.

Speaker 1 It's a serve.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that's literally the look I'm going for.

Speaker 1 A Switch spin.

Speaker 1 No, the amount of, okay, that's the other crazy thing. The amount of like mean comments, like it's never a girl our age.
It's never a girl younger.

Speaker 1 Like to see a mom, like it's, it actually is pure comedy. And I feel like we could write a skit about it.

Speaker 1 To see a mom like with a pixie cut and like glasses and her profile is like live light god and then like okay well i love pixie cuts a psalm and then to be like you're a raging bitch cunt and i hope you never get married and have children i was like that's crazy

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Speaker 1 I wanted to tell you the jokes, some jokes that were cut that I thought were way worse. Okay, yeah.
And I want to see if you think they're funny or not. Okay.

Speaker 1 This first one I'm starting with was actually written by Kim Congden, who's this like amazing roast writer that she and she pitched this joke to me and it's fucked up. Okay.

Speaker 1 Selena.

Speaker 1 What an evil. Okay.
Selena Gomez got engaged to Benny Blanco, who seems nice, but he does look like the monster inside P. Diddy.

Speaker 1 Like, that was too savage.

Speaker 1 That's so savage.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. Okay, next.
Let me go easier. This is like a sweet one that got cut.
Okay. John Krasinski was announced the sexiest man alive.
The same guy who took five seasons to try to fuck Pam.

Speaker 1 Then I go, this whole industry is very plastic. Every time there's a wildfire in the hills, I assume a Kardashian got a little too close close to an open flame

Speaker 1 okay this is mean okay because i said no plastic surgery for jeff though i like your suit you look like a fancy aborted baby oh my god

Speaker 1 that's awful

Speaker 1 i wrote that one

Speaker 1 oh my god I said, big year for podcasts, Caller Daddy had Kamala, Rogan had Trump, and I had a more influential blonde Hawktua.

Speaker 1 She gave me amazing financial advice.

Speaker 1 What is going on with her? I don't know, but like that point, I don't know who's managing her, but like, you know that that was not her idea. Someone took advantage of her.

Speaker 1 Someone took advantage of her. And I'm not witch-hunting her.
No, some men definitely came in and like ruined all her shit. She's probably going to disappear now.
Because what'd she do?

Speaker 1 She stole a bunch of money from people? No, she did a...

Speaker 1 It's Bitcoin stuff, so obviously a man did it. Right.
But it's like she got people to buy Bitcoin. Oh, she didn't know.
She didn't know. She, that girl did not know.
She didn't know. No.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is the most fucked up one. Are you ready?

Speaker 1 Some girls have been singing out loud during the wicked screenings, which is not okay. Kind of makes you wish Luigi hit a couple AMCs

Speaker 1 before he got a CEO. No, that's evil.

Speaker 1 That's standy.

Speaker 1 So, anywho.

Speaker 1 So that's Rose Jokes.

Speaker 1 No, I love it. You did so good on that.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 And you looked phenomenal. Oh, my God.
I found an amazing makeup artist out there

Speaker 1 your hair and makeup honestly so good thank you and i wore a dress that i had previously worn that i knew was comfortable um shout out to the gigglers you should use them for that thing for the thing we're doing in march in la

Speaker 1 okay scrambling eggs i do have to say i got there and john stamos was playing on the drums yeah and immediately i like always know the zaddie in the room but i'm like

Speaker 1 hi but i was like i don't i'm not talking anymore Right. Like, I don't talk to famous people in the room.
So I'm minding my own business. And we make eye contact accidentally.

Speaker 1 And he starts mouthing something to me because he was behind the drums and I was in the crowd during a practice. And I love, I'm like, what's he saying? And he goes, gotcha.
No.

Speaker 1 And I, that's why I said, I started going, no. No, I turn around.
She goes, no. And I start laughing.

Speaker 1 And then I turn to the girl next to me. I'm like, I think John Samos just like made an inside joke about my podcast, but I think I, I think I'm

Speaker 1 high. Yeah.
Then he, I try to avoid him for like the next hour because I just, what do you say? Where do you say what am I supposed to say to John Samos? Yeah, what do you say to Uncle Jesse?

Speaker 1 Finally, he comes up to me and he goes, hey, watch your special twice. But he was so nice, so talented on drums, so cool.
Yeah, I didn't even know he played. Like, how did that even come about?

Speaker 1 They're like, and we'll get John Stamos to play drums.

Speaker 1 It was like, I think, like, Jeff Ross has been in Hollywood for so long, he's like friends with, like, Diplo was there just because Diplo's like friends with him.

Speaker 1 Like, it so, it was definitely like on the verge of a P Diddy for going to me. No, I feel like we need to go to LA and have lunch with John Stanley's and Becky.

Speaker 1 I met her one time at a wedding, and I literally, I like, I mauled her. I was like, I love her.
Did you talk to her? Yeah. Was she nice? It was literally right after she got out of jail.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I don't care what they're saying about you.

Speaker 1 I'm obsessed. And she was like, thanks.

Speaker 1 You go, I love a woman in step.

Speaker 1 I love a woman scheming, plotting. Okay.

Speaker 1 No, he couldn't have been more nice. And afterwards, just like chill.

Speaker 1 Like, I love when celebrities don't like pretend they're on like a you know when they pretend they're on a different planet and like they can't process anything around them because they're so famous, right?

Speaker 1 Like they're so out of reality that they don't even know. They're not in process.

Speaker 1 And you always feel like it's your fault. You're like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have like opened my mouth in your vicinity, but then you're like, oh no, people can be normal.
So shout out John Stamos.

Speaker 1 You're a giggler. He did a video for us.
No, I love him. But overall, I had to cancel my vacation

Speaker 1 which i never vacated canceled like seven vacations

Speaker 1 i canceled every vacation i'm so bad at vacationing it took so much balls for me to like click book and then i got an email and does and i were like at dinner and it said like netflix roast and i just looked at him and i was like we're not going to columbia or wherever we were gonna go you're a career woman i'm a career woman and then I just worked like I didn't sleep for the next five.

Speaker 1 They gave me like five days to get the jokes together. So it was like chaos, but it was so much fun.
And no, you did phenomenal. It was like so exciting to watch.

Speaker 1 I literally had like a Hannah weekend the other weekend. I watched your roast again and your special.
That's like me when I just go to your Instagram to look at your outfit sometimes.

Speaker 1 I was like, this is my human beta blogger. I'm just going to put her on in the background.

Speaker 1 I did FaceTime you a couple times when Des was napping. Yeah, that was nice.
That was nice. Oh, yeah.
We're going to go to the Knicks game tonight. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 with our dads how adorable what are our dads gonna talk about who needs a son honestly this is the first thing i'm thinking of no what are i can hear them giggling in the other room right now our dads and dads are talking i would love to know what they're laughing about what could they possibly

Speaker 1 ever thought that they would get here with us. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, what do you think our dads think about us? I was just thinking because my dad has, he's so cute.

Speaker 1 He has a basketball league.

Speaker 1 And when I first started comedy, a guy came up to him and was like, What do you think about like the stuff your daughter says online? Like, she's pretty gross.

Speaker 1 And my dad, my dad kind of like laughed it off, like, whatever. And it's like, Yeah, me being gross online got him courtside tickets, bitch.
Right. So, no, my dad's friend think that I like do porn.

Speaker 1 They like my dad's tickets.

Speaker 1 I do do dildo ads. We did not buy courtside tickets.
Radio City is owned by MSG.

Speaker 1 Yes. And we have two sold-out Radio City shows.
So it's like a thing they do where they give people who are playing Radio City seats. And we, we asked our daddies.
So we're just two daddies' girls.

Speaker 1 What I didn't, like, when I asked my dad, I really didn't think of it. I was like, oh, we got these tickets.
Like, do you, like, Hannah's going to bring her dad? Like, do you want to come?

Speaker 1 I didn't realize it until I got home for Christmas how excited he was

Speaker 1 because like his friends were calling him like, hey, just checking in. Like, when were you going to that game? And like, where are your tickets? And he's like, you know, we got the separate entrance.

Speaker 1 That's what Paige said. So, like, and I didn't realize like how excited he was.

Speaker 1 And I forgot like how much men love sports and it's adorable. My dad, after we went, we went once, my dad and I, and it was like the most amazing experience.

Speaker 1 And afterwards, he goes, so next time, can I bring my friends? And I was like, this isn't for your 20 friends from Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 No, how the tables have turned literally before we got in the car today to come. I looked at my dad and I go, now, act like you've been somewhere before.
Please don't embarrass me.

Speaker 1 If you're thinking, should I say that? The answer is no.

Speaker 1 Like, I literally gave him the speech you would give me when I was eight, like going places. That is so funny.
Well, my dad, just to warn you, loves a buffet, like lives for a buffet.

Speaker 1 And the last time I didn't know there was free food. So he ate beforehand, showed up, saw the buffet, looked at me, said, Why did I eat beforehand? Now I have to eat.

Speaker 1 Were there hot dogs in that buffet? Yeah, there's everything you can imagine.

Speaker 1 So my dad hones in and goes, he thinks that he's

Speaker 1 daughter. He thinks he's losing money if he doesn't eat at the buffet.
So he needs to eat. He's getting ice cream.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's getting ice cream in between because my mom's not around, so she can't judge him. I think he has gout also.
And I'm like, go off, King. Go off.
No rules here. We're cool daughters.

Speaker 1 We're not regular daughters.

Speaker 1 We're in a messy house. Oh, I'm obsessed.
So, Paige and I, I did, I am letting you know we're putting my output together like 10 minutes before we leave, per usual. But I'm excited.

Speaker 1 Do you think they're going to get along?

Speaker 1 our dads like they've hung out but not like in this capacity yeah i think dads like have to they have to because they're just dads but also our dads weirdly have this like crazy connection both that both their daughters who were written off many times are now like have a good business together no my dad

Speaker 1 look he's very supportive but when i tell you that he did not believe in me for a second

Speaker 1 i am

Speaker 1 i am not i am not over exaggerated thank him at every award show but when I tell you, when I tell you, this man was nervous.

Speaker 1 I was applying to colleges and he said, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 Do you really think you're going to be able to do that? I said, Dad, I think I should try. And he goes, look, I'll take care of you for the rest of my life.
And I said, okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 And look at us now. My dad was literally the exact opposite.

Speaker 1 The way he raised me, though, was like a dog. Like he would like just throw, he would just throw a ball and be like, can you bring it back? And I was like, I love you, daddy.
Was that fast enough? And

Speaker 1 we only connect over sports at first, but we are like the same person. But he like believed in me too much.
Like I would like lose a match to like the number one girl in the nation.

Speaker 1 And he'd be like, what the fuck was that? Yeah. Like, what are you doing? No, that's good.
But like his belief in me

Speaker 1 made me who I am.

Speaker 1 He gave you drive. Yeah, and he made in any room I walk into, like, he made me, and he's also a feminist king, my dad.
Like, he loves the WMBA. He loves female comedians.

Speaker 1 He, like, I think because he's such a girl dad,

Speaker 1 you don't see what women deal with, and it's like Des. He hasn't seen what like female comics deal with, yeah, and he'll be like, oh, that's weird.

Speaker 1 They picked your quote, or like, oh, why didn't they choose you for that? Is that not crazy? And they learned so much from seeing it through our lens. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think my dad, he loved when, like, I was on the boys' team and the boys were complaining. Like, my dad lived for that.
So, no, I think that like

Speaker 1 life is like such a cycle that men get daughters that need to have

Speaker 1 like beyond because they always say that like when you have a son like a certain part of like

Speaker 1 love that you've never experienced like you experience it but I feel like with dads and daughters It's like 10 times more We're very similar and also I feel like the sons they have that little bit of like bucking authority where they want to be like I'm my own man Yeah, or like with me with my dad, I'd just be like, I love your daddy.

Speaker 1 You can do nothing wrong.

Speaker 1 Also, like, think of their generation. They're the the generation of like, yeah, you couldn't get divorced.
You couldn't have a credit card.

Speaker 1 So, like, them growing up and then having daughters that are like so opposite of anything they've ever been used to is like kind of crazy. But that's a testament to our moms.

Speaker 1 Well, I was about to say, my dad is the least powerful person in the household.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 My dad doesn't know where a goddamn thing is. My dad doesn't know my birthday or his own birthday.

Speaker 1 My dad did not know one gift that he gave over the holidays. I love to look at him.
I said, Dad, what is this gift? What is it? And he just

Speaker 1 feeds me. I mean, whatever your mom picked up.
But it is, it is a cool full circle moment to bring our dads to game to watch other men

Speaker 1 run around.

Speaker 1 How cute. You're going to like their huddles.
They do huddles here, too. They huddle.
They huddle and they whisper, they gossip about the other team. They'll be like, he is really bad at passing.

Speaker 1 So I'm not saying. No, I'm really excited.
I thought about my outfit for so long. I'm just like, what would Chloe Kardashian wear? Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah, what is your inspel and why'd you choose what you chose because i'm obsessed also i feel like your makeup's a little charlie xex i felt like ponytail gives wag yes there was like slick back ponytail off model off duty just like a tank and jeans yes and then a trench yes you know

Speaker 1 i like trench because it looks like you're busy and you have to go somewhere but you don't have so many pockets there's so many pockets you do look like anytime you're like she has to get to things quickly and you look invest like you're gonna investigate something yeah or flash someone right

Speaker 1 This is this is where me and you differ. I wanted to wear this jacket, but I cannot deal with the fact that I'm afraid that when I sit down, I'm going to feel hot.

Speaker 1 But we can put it on the back of your chair. No, but you know how, like, it's the outfit, like, you can't take it off.

Speaker 1 I don't like feeling trapped. That's why I'm like, I don't like

Speaker 1 because I was like, you can have it hang off. Yeah, like, I felt the same way.
I was like, am I going to want to take it off? But, like, I can't wear a tank top.

Speaker 1 But, like, I ordered this is my first time on a Jumbotron. Yes.
So we're like,

Speaker 1 watch they don't do it right

Speaker 1 they just do you there is the giggly squad in my club no there is like an asterisk that like says like we can't guarantee that you're on the jumbotron is there yeah but I think just like if they if they ever fuck up like they can't get sued you know okay got it and like I need to be on the also the gemotron is it's very quick and you always like Look, I was on Jumbotron once at the mech game and it was pretty great,

Speaker 1 but it goes so fast.

Speaker 1 You don't know where to look. Because if you look at it, you're not looking in it.
It's a whole thing. No, I'm a little nervous.
But you're going to be great.

Speaker 1 You've been training your whole life for this. No, I've literally been training my whole life for a jumbotron.
That's how Pamela Anderson got discovered.

Speaker 1 And I think that's been in my head because I'm like, hello. Is that really how she?

Speaker 1 Yes. Pamela Anderson got discovered on a Jumbotron at a football, football game, I think.
Wait, you're right. I know, a professional baseball game, maybe.

Speaker 1 Do you like how she's been showing up to red carpets, just like no stylists, no makeup, just me? no

Speaker 1 no not at all um no stylus no makeup no hair no we can tell

Speaker 1 no i clocked that um so empowering she is stunning she's gorgeous

Speaker 1 i i love what she's doing

Speaker 1 but like i would like to see a look for i'd like to see one look i think I get it if you're saving money. Stylists are so fucking expensive.
So is hair and makeup. Truly.

Speaker 1 And I get it, but she doesn't have to.

Speaker 1 she could have look i am so do whatever you want truly like don't wear makeup wear makeup get dressed up

Speaker 1 like a light makeup do whatever but sometimes i do think like when you are invited to certain events like it is like almost rude if you don't come correctly like appropriately but i do think when you're such an icon and you're of a certain age rules go out the door like jerry seinfeld only wears sneakers like and adam sandler right even though he did dress up That's fine for them, but like, I don't like it.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you what I've been doing this whole break? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 1 Yes. I've been watching Dexter.

Speaker 1 No, the new one? No, I've never watched it before. Des.
Okay, yeah. Does like sit because I didn't watch that many times.
That's so crazy. I'm watching the like reboot right now because I watch.

Speaker 1 So first of all, Hot. Hot.
It's if you don't know, it's a show about a serial killer, but he only kills bad people and serial killers. So it's like Robna serial killers.
So you're like, so into it.

Speaker 1 I watched five seasons, and then Des made me stop because he said it goes, it gets bad after four nights. It gets so bad.
So he was like, I don't want to ruin it for you.

Speaker 1 You know, when you, this is the one thing I love about TV shows. You know, when you miss your family? Yeah.
Like, they're my best friends. You get invested with them.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, what is Anheld doing? And like, Matsuka. Well, good news because they just rebooted it as like a prequel.
But this is where

Speaker 1 he got there. This is where I'm going to be annoying.
I don't like change. I don't know.
Okay. I like that.
And that's fine. They use some of the same cast.

Speaker 1 That makes me happy. Yeah.
I also saw Christina Million is on it. And she's phenomenal.
And she's so good. I'm very proud of her.
I love all her music. Yeah.
Oh, come on. I love all her song.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've been doing too many roasts. I've been doing too many roasts.

Speaker 1 Pick it up slow. No, she doesn't.
I did not pick it up.

Speaker 1 I literally thought I was going to lose my virginity to that song, you know?

Speaker 1 No, that was so good. And then the Sarah James Geller.
Sarah Geller, what's her name?

Speaker 1 Michelle Geller Shint James. Sarah Michelle Geller.

Speaker 1 It was one of them.

Speaker 1 People don't talk about her and Freddie Prince Jr. enough.

Speaker 1 They're so

Speaker 1 one of like the longest-lasting. I think because people aren't talking about them is why they're doing well.

Speaker 1 Also, quick thing about interviews at these award shows with these actors

Speaker 1 sorry i didn't act

Speaker 1 for it they the actors it's so funny they're so different than like they take themselves very seriously but in like they're saving the world that day yeah

Speaker 1 how do we get that passionate about what if i talked about gig

Speaker 1 wait

Speaker 1 doing this podcast

Speaker 1 i felt connected to the feminine energy that the space had not been open for and then the the work I've been doing every week as I put my head down, and I trained for this for months, Make You Fun My Little Brother, to be able to put myself in this place with you in this moment, in this present moment on the mic.

Speaker 1 It's a word salad.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? What do you just say? You were in a movie where

Speaker 1 we don't know.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Like, you, yeah. No, I feel like I'm not.
I can think of one movie.

Speaker 1 Name a woman.

Speaker 1 Name a movie.

Speaker 1 No, I can name one movie. Like, the fact that the interviewers remember anyone's name is a miracle because, like, you get so nervous.
I'd be like, and I'm going to shout out. Heather McMahon.

Speaker 1 There's an shout out to Heather McMahon because I feel like she is bringing like a little bit of Joan Rivers back because she will laugh at, even if people don't laugh with her because they're so serious, she will laugh at her own joke.

Speaker 1 And that I appreciate. She's not taking it too seriously.
She just haven't. She's not taking it too seriously.
The other e-news host, Zuri Hall,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, but if I was an actress and I

Speaker 1 and I showed up to the red carpet and the interviewer looked 8,000 times better than me, I would be like, What the fuck? This is my night. She's always best dressed for me.

Speaker 1 And she's extremely professional and smart. And shout out to Kelsey Knight.
Yes. And Kelsey looked gorgeous too.
Gorgeous. I will say all of the e-news girls are great at their job.

Speaker 1 I don't really watch any other like

Speaker 1 red carpet. But I will say, I think everyone's just like scared to say anything.
Yeah. And like it's so serious.
Well, someone was saying how interviews, it's either like too deep of a question, like,

Speaker 1 what does this movie represent for your entire life? And people are like, wait, what? Or they say something like super a question like, how'd you get ready this morning?

Speaker 1 And there's like no in between.

Speaker 1 But it's also, I don't know about you, but it's so hectic when you're on a

Speaker 1 red carpet that, like, you are just word sad.

Speaker 1 That's what I do. No, 100%.
And then I just look at them like, did that was like,

Speaker 1 bring back the manny cam. Like, what?

Speaker 1 Do you remember the manny cam when they were? Wait, who? The manny cam when they would put their camera. No, I know.
Yeah, like, bring it back. But also.

Speaker 1 Honestly, the era of like Juliana Rantic and Ryan Seacrest, I think I like hold on to that. Where is she?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Did they ship her back to Italy?

Speaker 1 No, she lives in Chicago, I think, with with her husband. Oh, so she has a family.
She has a family. She owns like an Italian, I think they own like Italian restaurants there.

Speaker 1 But I don't know. Well, you know what's taking over now? TikTok.
Bitchy gays on TikTok, who I'm obsessed with.

Speaker 1 There are no gays on the red carpet. Why?

Speaker 1 Why are there no gay interviewers? They would be 10 times better.

Speaker 1 I feel like there are, but not on E.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, I don't want a straight man interviewing me. They have Siriano on.
Christian Siriano.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's also like he's

Speaker 1 a designer. So it's like, I mean, someone that like their profession is

Speaker 1 like they have Mario Lopez, Mickey something. Who's the guy who's like hung over and just goes, no, ew, bad.
Oh, on TikTok? Okay. Yeah.
Why'd you do that? I'll tolerate it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want him to destroy my eyes so bad. I know he's going to see it and just go, ugh.

Speaker 1 No, he's so bad. Like, but why can't we have that on TV? Yeah.
Like, I know. I think because like, I know it's rude,

Speaker 1 but I think you need a villain. Like, well, I think streaming networks should start doing red carpet.
I also think if there's comedy, let me say that. You don't need a villain.
It's like the roast.

Speaker 1 If there's comedy to it, if it's clever, if there's entertainment to it, that's one thing. We don't want people bullying people being like, she looks ugly, she looks bad, this looks stupid.

Speaker 1 We want funny.

Speaker 1 And not funny being like, oh, she looks like a lampshade. Like we've heard that a bazillion times.

Speaker 1 Oh, she looks like a mattress cover. Oh, like good one.
Right. We want it more.
Well, here's the problem with us.

Speaker 1 More banter. The problem with us is we're so self-deprecating.
And let me tell you,

Speaker 1 the majority of people are not.

Speaker 1 And it's genuinely uncomfortable when you're with like around someone that takes themselves so fucking serious. It's actually such my biggest ick.

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Speaker 1 I did something so embarrassing speaking to talking to people.

Speaker 1 I tried to put myself out there, be a good friend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There was a person who like I love,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 we've only hung out a couple times, but like he basically posted saying that he was going through a hard time. Okay.

Speaker 1 And I was like, you know, when you think in your head, like, oh, I should have said something. I'm like, I'm going to say something nice to him.
So I messaged him.

Speaker 1 He goes, you're actually the reason for all of these problems. When I messaged him, I said, try to keep your head up.
You're really talented and bring joy to so many people. Take care of yourself.

Speaker 1 And he wrote, Thanks, Hannah. I appreciate it so much.
I'm still kicking and making shit just a bitch.

Speaker 1 I read it as, I'm still kicking and making shit just a bitch. And I go, ha ha, you being a little bitch makes you who you are.
He goes, no, I'm saying it.

Speaker 1 He goes, I'm saying still making shit is just a bitch.

Speaker 1 Like me.

Speaker 1 Like making complaints. And this is why we have no friends.
This is why it's just me, you, and Grace.

Speaker 1 This is why Chris fucks with us just once a week.

Speaker 1 He's so low. He's teetering.

Speaker 1 I go, yeah, because you're a little fucking.

Speaker 1 You go, yeah, well, everyone knows you're a little bitch.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I called you a bitch.
And I go, this is why I don't help people. This is why.
You're like, oh, by the way, suck it the fuck up, you bitch.

Speaker 1 He basically saying his job is like making content. He's like, making shit is a bitch.
And I go, I know you're a little stupid bitch.

Speaker 1 And I was, and then I was like, I hope I made him laugh. And then I checked in on him later, like, hey, we good.
And he goes, I don't even know where you're.

Speaker 1 So, anyway, um, just be careful. Sometimes when you try to make people feel better, it makes them feel worse.
Okay, I'm gonna also say something that's so crazy. I like miss tour.

Speaker 1 I do too. I miss tour.
You had a purpose. No, I mean,

Speaker 1 really, like, I had a

Speaker 1 reason to get up every day because I had a flight.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, well, I can't miss my flight. I'm not losing out on that money.
No, the quiet was loud

Speaker 1 during vacation. I genuinely realized that like you and Grace are my best friends and like I only want to be around you guys

Speaker 1 and I need to go back on tour even if I have to heavily medicate myself. See, I knew you loved tour.
I love tour. We love tour.
No, I love it.

Speaker 1 So that's why I'm obsessed with rap music because they're always rapping about like hustling and being on tour. So I pretend I'm a rapper.
Wait, I want to tell the gigglers.

Speaker 1 Are you going to talk about Taylor Swift?

Speaker 1 Maybe for a second.

Speaker 1 I want to tell the gigglers because I like go, I love the bit where it's like, oh, I hate music, whatever. I don't hate music.
I used to be like a huge, like I only listened to rap.

Speaker 1 In the past like three weeks, I'm back. I have a slick back bon.
I mean, a slickback pony. I am so back.
There is music playing in my apartment at all fucking times. Like, cheesey.

Speaker 1 No, it's just like future and gonna like on fucking repeat and then I'll throw in like a sad Taylor Swift song. Did you hear the new song called Peggy?

Speaker 1 I'll send it to you. It's basically

Speaker 1 it's this British rapper. Love a British rapper.
Girl. It's basically about like being

Speaker 1 about like shitting on men and being a dominatrix.

Speaker 1 And she's iconic. I was going to say, people kept tagging you.
In Midnight Rain. Being like, Pidge, listen to this song.
Did you listen? And are you now a Swifty?

Speaker 1 I did listen. I'm not a Swifty, but I'm not a Swifty where I'm like, I'm not emotional.
I'm not going to like murder people that go against her.

Speaker 1 I think she's one of the most talented songwriters, like vocalists. She's amazing.

Speaker 1 Is there been in high school? All I listened to was Taylor Swift. Like, I was there when the first album dropped.
Like, I've always been a Taylor Swift fan.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 I guess I just have some thoughts on her wardrobe. In the Sri Lanka,

Speaker 1 what is the quote? She goes,

Speaker 1 are you a Nicki Minaj fan?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 She says the wrong quote. Pull up in the Sri Lanka.
It's like, no, that's not the sentence. So is there a particular Taylor Swift song? I started listening to the one that the girls tagged me in.

Speaker 1 But no, honestly, I've been going more rap music because I feel like that's where

Speaker 1 I'm at that more emotionally.

Speaker 1 One of the final questions, because we pre-recorded our last episode, kind of missed some stuff. Do you have any thoughts on Lily J's essay?

Speaker 1 Who the fuck is Lily J?

Speaker 1 Lily J's essay?

Speaker 1 Sorry, the boys are like laughing at this. The story is really so loud.
Kind of makes me upset. We're trying to work.

Speaker 1 The girls are working so that you can have your quartzitine.

Speaker 1 Laughing up over there.

Speaker 1 Jobless.

Speaker 1 Nobody wants to work anymore. Jobless fucks.

Speaker 1 You're going into home as soon as you're of age.

Speaker 1 I'm not wiping your asshole. A state facility.

Speaker 1 Who is Lily J?

Speaker 1 She is Ethan Slater's ex who wrote.

Speaker 1 I was like, why are you pretending you don't know what this is?

Speaker 1 I feel like you have to.

Speaker 1 Did you read it? No.

Speaker 1 But she did say, like, hey, this is fucked up. Yeah.
She basically didn't address anyone though, but in so many words was like, I'm a therapist. My whole life I've wanted to be a therapist.
She is.

Speaker 1 She helps women whose children are dying. So she's an angel.
An angel. And she goes, my whole job being a therapist is that they look at me as a blank slate.
I can take in all their trauma.

Speaker 1 And she goes, now.

Speaker 1 People see me and know my story of my own issues. And that affects my job because my job as a therapist is to be unknown.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with Ethan Slater doing his thing, but I've always wanted to be anonymous because that's my job job and that's what I do.

Speaker 1 And now she's and then she basically drops the bomb that like she went to England, had the baby to support him while they were shooting in England, and then makes no other detailed comments.

Speaker 1 That's where they filmed Wicked.

Speaker 1 So she had the baby. They went on double dates.

Speaker 1 Like they went out to dinner with each other.

Speaker 1 Like that's

Speaker 1 how

Speaker 1 this is his dick just like insane. But also, again, I don't care how an image.

Speaker 1 I don't can't no matter how good the dick is you get tired you get bloated at some point. You're like no man is worth like ruining another woman's life and a child.

Speaker 1 I believe in love I have that story when I was a freshman and my friends and I who were very similar. My whole thing is just break up.
You don't have to cheat. Everyone's an adult.

Speaker 1 So like, oh, if they get their feelings hurt, shoot, they're going to have to deal with that for a little. You don't have to cheat.
Just break up.

Speaker 1 That's what the internet was saying about you, Marcello. um

Speaker 1 i mean we were trying to tell you

Speaker 1 what i do believe and i wasn't cheating because i wasn't official but like my friend hooked up with the guy i had been like talking to for a couple weeks because i was like playing tennis tournaments and they were just like hanging out with your college friend they got married they got married they had babies and i go

Speaker 1 As they should. They were clearly meant for each other.

Speaker 1 They found love. I wasn't going to marry that man.
No. And it's when people find love, sometimes it gets ugly.
But like, as long as people are happy, I'm happy.

Speaker 1 No, that quote of like, if you can take them, have them. Yeah.
If you can take them, I don't freaking want them. Yeah.
I just, shout out to Lily J.

Speaker 1 She may have been under an NTA, but I thought it was very classy of her not to like throw anyone under the bus. But she just spoke of like, first of all, she's like, I'm Dr.
Lily J.

Speaker 1 So when all the tabooids write about me,

Speaker 1 she goes, it's doctor. Oh, isn't that so nice? That's so good.
And she basically was like, this is my life and my perspective, what I'm dealing with.

Speaker 1 And I hope it helps any women who are struggling because I got through it. So it was a phenomenal essay.
Wow. Good for her.
It was great. What a strong mom.

Speaker 1 And like, and Paige would write a essay about her experience, but she can't read or write.

Speaker 1 Who knows how we did the book? I don't love punctuation, okay? Assume.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Any other notes that we have?

Speaker 1 What else? Oh, I have like a quick question.

Speaker 1 I like, I don't know why, but I've been getting like a lot. My TikTok algorithms, like, it's all over the place.

Speaker 1 I've been getting like a lot of moms like preparing to have a baby and like getting their nursery ready and like doing all these things and whatever. And I had a thought.

Speaker 1 Do pregnant women shape their vaginas?

Speaker 1 I think some of them do. Before, I mean, I'm talking like when they're about to give birth.
I think some of them, I think.

Speaker 1 I'm spitting like out of my

Speaker 1 idea. I have no idea.
I think if you have like a midwife and stuff, they will like trim it for you. I think nurses will trim it for you because it's uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 I would feel like it's uncomfortable. But also, you're not going in there being like, oh, I'm going to make sure she's shining.

Speaker 1 I think it was just a thought that I was just like, I need to know this. I think you don't want a full bush just to keep it like cleaner.

Speaker 1 I have no fucking clue. I just feel like it would get in the way.
Also, I love that. People on Instagram are like, Paige doesn't want children when you're like, my whole TikTok algorithm is like.

Speaker 1 My whole TikTok algorithm with them is like,

Speaker 1 because I get tagged in so many little girls, like dressed up, and they're like, your daughter, your daughter. So, like, my algorithm

Speaker 1 becomes that. You can blame other people.

Speaker 1 I've been doing it my whole life.

Speaker 1 I've never once been the problem. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 No, these, these are the whole like packing the bag thing when you have a baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a whole thing that, um, no, and I love when people are like just gave birth and they do a TikTok with their husband. Like, it's like, you can pick any name when you get down there.

Speaker 1 There was a crazy story.

Speaker 1 Do you know when the thing was trending with like that funny Muppet face? And it was like people with these insane stories.

Speaker 1 Well, our algorithm is so terrible.

Speaker 1 This one girl told a story. I'm going to fuck it up, but like, she was pregnant and she was, her water broke

Speaker 1 and she got somewhere and it wasn't the right doctor. And her husband started yelling.
Because he was like, where's the doctor? Yeah. And they kicked them out because the husband got upset.

Speaker 1 So then they had to go to a different hospital and they get there and they get her all set up. And then they're like, oh, we just got a call.

Speaker 1 And like, we're owned by the same hospital that you were at. And like, you aren't allowed to be in this hospital.
So they get kicked out again.

Speaker 1 And like this whole crazy story about,

Speaker 1 but like, I feel like people, everyone's freaking out when you're about to have a baby. Yeah.
I mean, what? That's just a day in New York City trying to cross a street.

Speaker 1 No, honestly, the more I think about it, the more I'm like so open to a home birth. I'm obsessed that you go from a breakup to talking about a baby.
It's very celebrity of you, guys.

Speaker 1 I'm having a home birth. It's very Kylie Jenner of you.
Right? I just think I would be more comfortable. Very Gigi Hadid.
I mean, I want all the machines and all the people, and we'll all sit there.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't give

Speaker 1 professionals. It's giving second babies going to be surrogate energy.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Speaker 1 But they say the second one just falls out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I could feel that.
They could see that again. How many are you going to have?

Speaker 1 How many many kids? Well, my psychic said I have two, and I could have an accidental third. Okay, you're freaky.
You're just

Speaker 1 another psychic appointment this week, so I'll update you guys. How many have you had?

Speaker 1 This will be my second. Okay.
Is it the same person? Nope, different person. I like to compare notes.

Speaker 1 I'm like, are you, are you guys, are you guys aligned?

Speaker 1 We haven't spoken to each other. I love that for you.
Thank you. And also, thank you again for fighting the good fight.
You guys are probably so exhausted out there in these streets.

Speaker 1 I'm sick of my own myself, so I can't imagine you guys, but I also want to say thank you to the gigglers. I actually,

Speaker 1 I'm like being serious, I would have been destroyed this week, like if it wasn't for you guys. Like I saw comments and then I saw like I could spot a giggler a mile away and it just like.

Speaker 1 I felt so much better. And I'm so fucking proud to be a woman.
And I

Speaker 1 love

Speaker 1 everything I've said because I can't wait for my daughter to hear it. I did realize that, like, the majority of people were projecting onto me, and I was like, oh, you hate your marriage.

Speaker 1 You hate your life. You don't have a dog.
Seeing someone have freedom and choosing themselves. Yeah, you

Speaker 1 were in that situation and you picked the other decision and I picked the opposite and you're pissed.

Speaker 1 And I'd be pissed too, girl. You can't go back.

Speaker 1 You can't go back. That sucks.

Speaker 1 Have a great week, everyone.

Speaker 1 She's

Speaker 1 we love you. Thank you for giggling.

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