Giggling about child stars, drones, and bad bosses

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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers.
I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages. Also, I mean, did you see the gifting? How freaking cute were all of those little boxes? I was obsessed with them.
I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like, with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them sup gigglers Harriet fix the wifi

manifest that shit

we can't be managed I mean the day just got away from me what's up my gotcha gigglers I'm saying it again because it's never not funny it's never not funny someone was like can you guys stop saying gotcha we said it for one and

a half episodes buckle the fuck up imagine living with me i literally imagine living with me daphne so let's start the pot off with daphne and i in our first fight what is going on who's in trouble who did what you know what's so crazy is because like the past like i've been with daphne now for seven days the past like six days I've been like Daphne isn't this amazing we're literally gonna be together every single day for like the rest of our lives the tour is over like I'm literally just obsessed with her you know like we're really vibing this morning she's like laying on the ground and I and I wake up and I'm like come up here you crazy kitty like get in the bed she's like laying on the ground and I, and I wake up and I'm like, come up here.

You crazy kiddie.

Like get in the bed.

She goes,

yeah,

you silly goose.

What are you doing down there?

She gets in.

We're like nuzzling.

We're loving.

She goes to the end of the bed.

She turns around.

She's staring at me and I'm like,

what's going on?

She's peeing on my bed whilst I'm in it.

And I'm like, what's going on? What's going on? Why why are you I'm literally talking to her as if she's a human I'm like why are you doing this right now what happened like I think something's wrong there then she takes a massive shit on the bed and I'm just like running around I'm like what is the procedure I've I've only ever walked into it after it's been done. I've never been in the midst of it.
I have to strip my bed. I have to bring everything to the dry cleaner, put all the sheets in the wash.
I was like, I am so sorry, because this should not be happening. This is not in the cat rule book.
I'm Googling everything. I'm like, what's going on with her? She's mad at you.
I don't know if she's mad at me for something that i did because like the only thing is like digestive or um like her litter box is dirty and like her litter box is literally never dirty i haven't sparkling she's been on the same food like for weeks like she's drinking evian i introduced her to wet food weeks ago she was acclimated she loves it she's fine she i think she's just literally sometimes a bitch it doesn't make sense though the only time that this has happened to me with cats is my first cat trixie yes she was named like a stripper um and we love sex work on this pod she um we love when i went to college she went to when i went to she went to college butters okay i'm so tired right now here's the craziest part i know i know exactly everything you just said i literally know exactly i don't even have to finish the story you guys know what i was saying i go to college and trixie just like shat in my room and it's just like one poop just saying like fuck you bitch gotcha this is what you do to me that's how i feel gotcha and then butter when i was shooting summer house it was the first time i would leave her for like three or four days even though i have a cat sitter and she peed in my laundry like twice because it like smelled like me and she was like you okay well then i started spiraling because i was like what would she be mad about and i was like i have been here for seven days and this is like the time when i would leave and i'm like does she like want to be alone she's too much like her mom or maybe she thinks you might leave she's traumatized i don't know what it is did she make eye contact with you during it she didn't make eye contact with me but like i was yelling and she was like looking around and was like i'm like doing something they do say that cats don't understand like negative reinforcement like if you they just don't get that i don't i feel like you should get a vet to come over or you should get that guy jackson galaxy have you seen him no he has this show called cats from hell it's so good it's basically like he's like the gordon ramsay of cats where people are my cat's crazy. And it shows the cat like beating up a toddler.
Then he comes in and he's like, he like figures out what the cat's upset about and then fixes them. Then the cats are like perfect after.
Wait. It's my favorite show.
I need him to come over because that or like a pet psychic. In my next life, I want to be a pet psychic.
We need, we need in this life, we need a pet psychic. We're going to do it for sure.
I found some on Facebook. I'm just sifting.
So they're reliable. No, those are the, if you don't get it from Facebook, I don't trust it.
I want people who don't know that TikTok exists. My favorite profession, sorry, my favorite profession is cat psychic animal psychic because like you you made it up you're you could say anything to me there's no fact checking it's literally like someone woke up and was like my job is vibes like i'm literally vibes it's literally someone being like i'm empathic but just with animals which is that's what i think i hate when people say they're empathic it's one of my biggest pet peeves i should start a list of pet peeves because whenever someone asks me what's a pet peeve i can never remember it no knowing full well and good i have so many and that's a pet peeve honestly a pet peeve of mine is not remembering my pet peeves write it the write it down if we don't write anything down nothing would be said truly but i know that when people say they're empaths i hate them well not no i support pet psychics because i support women in the arts and then also during covid she a pet psychic over the phone told me that butter is sarcastic and funny and I was like obviously and then she told me she thinks Clyde is fat the other cat which I was like okay a little body shaming which we don't love but and she's still funny ugly and she's ugly and has a wide set vagina and a heavy flow and then she also said that Clyde's stomach was hurting and then two weeks later we had to bring him to the vet because of like a worm so either she put a spell on him or this shit is real no look I support them I'll give them all my money if there's one thing I love it's someone like being like I have a me being like, yeah, I could never I don't even couldn't even start to think about what you do.
Do you know people talk about how like guys lose all their money in sports betting? Yeah. I don't talk enough.
Love that for them, though. No, like I truly do.
I love watching a guy like do really manly things that are so stupid that like a woman wouldn't even it wouldn't even cross our fucking mind like i think when i wake up on a sunday i'm like what face mask am i picking like what could it be and guys are like how could i possibly put my family in danger how could i almost lose the house for no good reason do you know these men finally know what it's like to be disappointed by other men no it's amazing there's also something homoerotic about it because you're literally getting gassed up to watch all these guys in like super tight pants run around and And I'm not coming for you. I'm sitting right there, too.
Like, I'll watch it. I love it.
Also, the fact you think you know what's going to happen in the game is giving like you think you're an empathetic psychic. It's giving.
Yeah, it's giving. It's giving.
Cat psychic. Animal psychic.
It truly is. All the men are animal psychicsics but they talk shit on us but i i was

saying that it's literally just reality tv like a man wearing a jersey of another man is like us wearing like road lip gloss and i love it and i'll do it forever not to bring up the girls fighting can we talk about the matilda jerf yeah like scandal if you guys don't know who matilda jerf is she like became really big on tiktok she's swedish she's swedish which i thought swedish people didn't fight i didn't either and she created like an insane brand called jerf avenue it has everything worth a lot of money worth a lot of money it has like basics pajamas like they're one of their like robes or whatever went like viral on tiktok and she's famous for being like a sweet looking blonde with yes beautifully voluminous hair that's always blown out she's been like in vogue like she's not like tell me that you model till you've been involved. She's not like a smallogue.
Like she's not like.

Don't tell me that you model till you've been in vogue.

She's not like a small time creator whatsoever.

She's big.

And it came out.

The girls that were working in her office, they did like a documentary like whilst working there.

And they did.

And they just said how like the conditions are horrible that she had like in the bathroom there was one like good toilet which i was like that's so european there's one toilet that massages your butthole you guys are literally fighting about one toilet it's crazy um that she would let her favorite employees use and then she would make the employees that she didn't like clean the toilet

clean the toilet i didn't know she'd let other employees because at first people were like maybe she just has ocd um but if she let her favorite employees use it that's so weird like you think their buttholes are cleaner than what what i do have to say i i like i'm not trying to start drama yeah but I did meet her you did where when I interviewed Hailey Bieber at a Dunkin Donuts okay so I think she was there Hailey is so lucky that the campaign with her was literally like two days prior because I think it legit like sold out but she's off the website now the pictures aren't up anymore and they did the cutest little collab she did her hair like cindy lou who like it's i really i really do love like hailey's branding it was so cute the only experience i have was like i actually said hi to her um she wasn't having it with me and she was like you can use the fourth toilet thanks she was like brush your fucking hair you dirty american slut um no she didn't say that to me but i remember her she was cold but again if that was a man look it's so crazy to me because like i've obviously like we've worked in offices i've worked in offices of like all women i've worked in offices where it's like mixed i can like in an office setting obviously you're gonna have at least like one day where like you don't snap at someone but like you're in a bad mood a lot of pressure and you say something in a tone that you're like i shouldn't have said that or like i shouldn't have said you're not sucking everyone's dick you're not like is everyone okay all the time there could definitely be a moment where someone could be like you're a villain in and in someone's story at some point in your life and thank god and thank god i feel like that's me but i was just trying to make people laugh but i offended someone like so i get like being in an office and it's like oh that girl's a bitch because like one time blah blah blah this is on such a different level to like literally think of things to do to people or not do is is so insane

yeah and i don't want to simplify it being like if she was a man this wouldn't happen i think there's

assholes on both ends and i would argue sometimes female bosses have like really mental terrorism that they will do.

Yeah.

That like,

like male bosses will just be like,

like,

like,

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like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, on both ends and i would argue sometimes female bosses have like really mental terrorism that

they will do yeah like like male bosses will just be like dicks misogynistic assholes and

then female bosses can be like weird with specific people and stuff like that i i honestly i i'm so

thankful and grateful like i had one female boss and she was the best thing that ever happened to

Thank you. I honestly I'm so thankful and grateful like I had one female boss and she was the best thing that ever happened to my life like and I'm and I'm so thankful for it because I it was in my early 20s and I think about it all the time now like when I am telling certain like some people like what to do at any given moment I literally always think of her and i'm like she was so nice and understanding and just like whatever and now like i have to be like that imagine grace comes out with a tell-all tomorrow well i literally kept thinking about grace because i was like i was like we have one employee one employee who you know okay she literally was joking no we have like no we have like three no we have more but like grace is our ceo like she's my right hand man and it's funny because she was once she did sit me down she's like i feel like i'm learning so much this is so fun and like i've all this stuff and i was like well i'm like grooming you and then we paused i was like not like that not like that cut to literally eight months later we're on tour and you're like grace will be carrying my children i don't know what that's non-negotiable we're talking about babies and i was like grace are you is your ovaries available but um and then she texted me because i was like i miss you because grace is back home now because the tour is taking like a pause and she was like i feel like i have stockholm syndrome because i'm not with you and page and i miss you no but literally we got so lucky but it's because we have like a small environment when you start getting like a big office yeah it gets crazy however i understand like jerf is the brand anything that goes wrong it's on you it's a lot of pressure right i'm totally about being fucking serious hard working no bullshit yeah i do not understand the like weird toilet things and the freak outs on people it's unnecessary um a girl's all this stuff comes out of the woodwork now obviously but some girls did a what i did a modeling campaign with her and well that's the other thing then like people come out of the woodwork that like have even like an ounce to say so then it like piles on and like half of those could be true.
Half of those could not be. But I just like I can't.
Also, there's something about like starting as no one, becoming an influencer, then having like a ton of fans, then like it's almost like you even have more of a responsibility. And not that I'm like, oh, my God, you have to be nice be nice every single day you literally don't like but you can't go out of your way to literally ruin people's lives that's crazy and it had to been really bad for them to all get together and be like hey like this is not okay no they're all risking everything but i guess they're at the point where they're like i'd rather be fired and expose her um oof yeah i'm just upset because now i feel like all the swedish stereotypes i had in my head are wrong i know i watched an amazing documentary um called child star on hulu produced and like done by demi lovato okay i saw the advertisement it's fucking incredible in terms of like drew barrymore's on it raven simone's on it um the girl from the missy elliott videos on it oh yeah from cheaper by the dozen yes so and this kind of reminded me demi vado sits down with one of the child stars she was with and how like the first season of Camp Rock like they had so much fun.
And then Demi Lovato blew up and the next season she was like she's staying at the Ritz or like somewhere fancy. And there was like this disconnect between her and her old friends.
And the girl basically was like you people were scared of you. Like you watch the moment of her being like you traumatized me and like you were a monster.
And wait that Demi Lovato traumatized people. Yeah.
But you later learned that like Demi Lovato was bipolar. Like work.
She was work. She had like 350 shows in a year and she's a kid so people are just like no you have to keep working you have to keep working and it was it was very interesting and but it's hard to be like these kid stars being like oh i mean millions of dollars and got famous as a kid and it was really hard but someone like raven simone who is a giggler by the way she's honestly one of the reasons i went into comedy like that's so raven changed my life like her facial expressions everything wait did you see like the the discourse on tiktok about there's that i was just gonna say the today show about that's so raven what ra podcast, like, I think, like, young kids, like, young boys watch my show because they had big boobs.
And it's all these guys, like, stitching the video being like, I was, like, seven. And, like, it was funny.
And, like, I liked the plot. Like, can I not laugh now? Like.
Wait. Raven, it was not your boobs.
You fucking hilarious the cast i'm sorry give it a fucking oscar that show it was so fucking funny that and all and amanda but like it was an age that like there was no sex you didn't think you didn't even have a thought in your brain of like but you know what i do feel like subconsciously boys were like I like this for many reasons yeah but like i was trying to think like did i look at the boys in that show and was i like oh i have a crush on them i feel like when i watched drake and josh like you knew that drake was hot you knew that yes okay yeah you knew that like drake was hot but you weren't like i want to give him a hand job you just were like oh he's i want to stand next to him let's go back to that let's truly go back to that i'm not touching your dick no you could be in my presence let's go back to like you trying to just hold my hand Just try and hold my hand because anything else it's too much wait can i tell a traumatizing story trigger warning yes my like first boyfriend in high school this is such a new york story wait that just sounded literally you're regino george oh my first boyfriend in high school was named Kyle. And like he moved away to Indiana.

His dad invented toaster strudel.

No, but we were like in.

We couldn't go to anyone's house because it was like our parents house and like no one knew we were dating. So after school, we like went to like Sheeps Meadow Park and we were like kind of kissing.

And I remember that I felt he I felt he had like a little like a boner and i was so embarrassed for him i was like oh my god is he embarrassed right now like that's so embarrassing and we're kissing and then we look over and a homeless man is jerking off and i was like i don't like this game anymore that's so traumatizing that was so new york city now i'm like trying to think did i ever notice like the what was the first time i noticed like a boner like did i know what it was you think that it's like they have something in their teeth and you're like do i tell them like or like like they farted it's like that's what i thought it was like i didn't realize that that was the point of it all i thought it was just like a side thing i can't remember i feel like i've just like blocked out anyone like before a certain age i'm like you didn't like literally exist they fingered the side of your leg until we were like 26 and that was that's something else we have to work on in society one thing about the holiday season is usually when you're getting dressed or ready to go out, your coat is kind of the outfit or you're always in long sleeves. So the best way to accessorize your outfits are stacking your jewelry.
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Back to Raven. Shout out Raven.
You're like literal number one fan right here if you're listening, but you're probably busy. she started working at 16 months old and then she got on the cosby show and just did not stop working from then on and she she was very clear that like it was a job it was always a job and during that so raven she was like i hated it like i didn't sign up for this i i just wanted a normal life like she didn't enjoy it and it's so crazy to something that brings us so much joy was causing so much pain for these people and then a lot of them would like just turn to drugs and stuff and and then long story short there's control in Hollywood because there used to be this the first like famous kid ever back in the day apparently his parents just like took all his money that he made.
So he was like, he made millions of dollars. And then by 18, like there was nothing left.
So there's a rule. A homicide would ensue.
A hundred percent. There's like a law now that like a certain percentage has to go into the child's trust.
But you know what? There isn't a law to organize everything is child is child influencers so these kids are now doing the same thing like they get born the parents are working and working and working and working i'm traumatizing them forcing them to work and the kids aren't promised any money so it's like they're just making a ton of money for their parents and let's be honest we've done reality tv we do performances when you're in front of the camera that's not real life yeah once a camera is on you are performing maybe that's why daphne shit in my bed she's like i won't work i won't work under these conditions i won't have it she's like i saw your ad two days ago i see you using me for engagement putting me in your fucking grid dumps she goes talk to my agent before you fucking take a photo i fantasize that daphne like swears like a trucker in her head like this fucking bitch I think all cats do they said someone says a cat's face always looks like you just asked them to pick you up from the airport oh god no we're so old I literally all we do is laugh about cat stuff and kanye west to be like a little more um oh my god someone said something funny yesterday i was at the hollywood improv and they were like you know the year's been crazy when kanye west hasn't speaking he's like i'll sit out on this one hasn't speaking i am in hollywood i was doesn't i really failed yeah vacationing no can you explain this because like this is like part something that like we do as partners and like we don't think twice about it and the men get mad. So the reason why I think Des and I work so well is because he's lived this life before and now he's just tired.
So everything I'm going through, he's been on that side and knows how it feels. So he's lifting me up and empowering me, but it sucks because Des and I were like, we want to travel at some point.
at some point and i know you're like honey you're always traveling but we're like we've never been on i've never been to asia so like two months ago we're like let's go to thailand two weeks industry's dead in december let's fucking go yeah long story short we cancel we're like we're not we're not going to thailand you cancel but you book a different trip you're like it's too big of a trip to do right now we can't do two weeks it's too crazy 24 hours of flying we're tired let's do a simple trip yeah let's let's we were like let's go to cartagena let's go to colombia um medellin and do some culture just a simple trip to colombia nothing well we were like let's do city culture and then we're like no so we can't we don't cancel we don't even book that and then we go let's fucking just go to the caribbean for four days so we're so excited we're like we're gonna go to the caribbean for four days i get an email middle of the caribbean trip I get invited to do a gig that like I personally didn't want to say no to. Yeah.
And Des was like, I get it. Like we don't have to go on vacation.
You do this. It's so important.
It's so important. So you guys will see what this gig is.
It's very fun. it comes out on the 27th and i feel like that's like low-key a mental health moment too i can't tell you how many boyfriends i've had in my life that like we've had something planned or like we're looking forward to something and like something work-wise comes up and I'm like I'm so sorry I have to do this

and like the words that are exchanged where like if the roles are were reversed and it was like

some man and he was in finance and like some client called or something and he was like I

have to go to this I feel like as a woman you're almost programmed to be like oh my god yeah like

you have like you have to do this now obviously there's like workaholics but but it's like

Thank you. I feel like as a woman, you're almost programmed to be like, oh, my God.
Yeah. Like you have like you have to do this now.
Obviously, there's like workaholics, but but it's like such a fine line. And it also does depend on your age.
Like if you're in your early 30s, like, yeah, you got to fucking answer the phone and like go do your shit. And for people listening who are entrepreneurs, you kind of get that like there's no schedule.
So it could be slow sometimes. But then like on a Sunday, something crazy happens and you need to do it to make money.
But I've also been like on a ski trip with Des once and I got an offer for something that was like exciting, but not great. And we had like a long talk to be like, where are our priorities here? Like you can do that.
But like we're going to try. Yeah.
I mean, I fucking hated hated skiing so i was trying to get out of it kim kardashian like did an interview this is like months and months ago it had literally been a year ago and i and i have not ever forgotten it or stopped thinking about it she was like talking about a boyfriend i think it was pete davidson but i don't know and she was like and he told me like i work too much and she was like and in my head i was like get out of my way like get out and i'm like oh my god i so get like get out of my freaking way like i'm also you'll have so much animosity towards him wait i have another like mental health moment okay go off so do you watched girls right i think it's one of the greatest shows ever made one of the greatest shows of our generation if you haven't watched girls do yourself a fucking favor i actually like restart it every couple of years because it's just so iconic so the one actress in it um her real name is jemima kirk she plays she she plays she's actually my favorite character i saw her in the airport once jessa jessa she plays jessa cool no she's so good she i this i saw this on tiktok but she was doing this on instagram she was doing just like a q a and a girl wrote in and was like what is your advice for unconfident young women did you see this yes okay and her answer was you think about yourself too much and I literally felt like my mind was blown I was so good i was like wait a minute what a powerful true statement like literally at the times that i'm like my most unconfident or my most nervous it's because i'm literally so wrapped up in myself you've literally thought yourself into some like insane spiral that's given you every reason to question or not believe in yourself when it's like this is like one of my favorite quotes is like at the end of the day the only thing that could really calm you down is that no one cares and you're gonna die I love it so much no one cares when I I've gotten really anxious places and yeah it's always because you're like overthinking everything and the really only way to calm you down is that it doesn't matter and it's sad that like nothing matters at the end of the day but if you can find solace in that like for example giggly squad sometimes i'll get nervous and i'll be like i want this to be the best fucking episode ever but if you force stuff and want it so bad because you care too much like you actually aren't yourself okay it's so crazy because even though I had like crazy panic attacks all while we did tour and I was like really working through something I'm so happy that it happened during tour and this sounds like so weird because truly giggly squad every week is like the number one place where I feel my most self and like yeah like just like Hannah and I literally got on zoom today because you know and started laughing because we were like we miss each other but we can't call each other because then like we'll say all the good stuff that we have to save for the pod and also we're both like so respectful of each other like you're like I think I know you're like working and I'll like come up with something like you know she needs a second she's stressed but like we become full codependent on each other even though that's not it's not our personalities and here's what I know when I'm like going to run an errand or I'm getting in an uber or something that's when I do my calls so like but I'm always just like calling my mom really yes same and for whatever reason today I was like running errands and i was like should i call hannah and i was like you can call me anytime it's like i was like no she's busy she's doing things i feel like me and you are actually two people who like we do have intimacy issues you think like and people and i hate when they make it like girls are like we're boy crazy and all this stuff but like i'm gonna be honest me and you like we are so the men sometimes stereotypically but yeah i would go after guys who had intimacy issues because i didn't want to connect with a man like i wanted to protect myself you know sometimes when it comes to dating and i would literally i've never admitted this to anyone or publicly or to anyone in my life but i will say it on the pod because no in my head no one listens i'm like no in my head for girls who know everything about us listen well here's the thing i when i say things on the podcast it's for the gigglers that listen every week those are my friends. Like those are my girls for the people that like pop in to like write an article or like make a TikTok video.
I'm not saying anything for you guys. Like it's not like whatever.
So I feel like you just came into the middle of a conversation we've been having for five years. Obviously, you don't get it.
Like, hello. Is this the audition for new gigglers we love the new

gigglers you're all welcome anyway what were you gonna say that you said you never told anyone and then you veered off is this the audition for pippin no what i've never said to anyone hannah and i before every before every giggly squad show before we walk out on stage we'll say to each other is this the audition for pippin um okay when it comes to dating sometimes i will move in a manner subconsciously or consciously it depends where like i'll stop and think and be like that was such a move that a guy would pull or like sometimes like i'll do things and i'll be like I'm the guy like that's so heinous I can't believe I said that or like I did that or like I'm thinking that like I'm the guy and it's it's kind of scary sometimes I have to like catch myself and be like don't do that no but the concept of like that's what guys would do is like socially constructed like that's just what we've been like raised to think where we just are trying to like have some power. Well, then I think like if certain guys don't like me, I'm like, oh, you don't like that I move the way men move.
It scares them. It scares you that I can also like switch into this mode of like I don't give a fuck I always love like I don't talk too much about like Des and I but I do love the moment our relationship where like I was pretending I was like cool and didn't care and I think I might have posted something that was like a little bit like could potentially make him jealous or something like very early on yeah and that was when he literally i remember he called me and he was like hey if you're not like if you're gonna do this kind of stuff like i'm actually like i'm not attracted to that stuff and like i don't want to play games like that so that's great yeah and he was like and i'm i i like you i feel like i made that clear so like if you're gonna be like weird like this I'm good I literally put my tail between my legs and was like that was the first I was like oh my god like and it was so mature of him and hot but anyway no well I'll I do something that a guy would try to like up up me and make me feel worse and then I would and next thing you know it's just two egos battling each other and it's like a competitive fucking stupid situation but i do have to say rounding to what you were saying at the beginning your 30s it stops being about like being the most successful or finding the best guy it's about finding like your authenticity which is full of yeah you question yourself yeah whatever but at least you're're being you.
And I'd rather like be sad authentically being me

than like pretending to be something else.

No, I love being me.

I think I'm the greatest.

Speaking of me.

Back to me for a second. Back to me.
Enough about me. What do you a second me enough enough about me what do you think about me about me i didn't tell you about what happened in thanks during thanksgiving i talked about it on burner phone shout out burner phone you guys should listen um thanksgiving morning we're finally having all these people at our house and i i'm of course asleep's like 730.
And you know how all the adults are awake? Yeah. Like they're all like chatting loud, laughing.
And I kind of hear it. They're like four cups of coffee deep.
Yes. They're fucking.
They're talking about like recent events in the news and stuff. It's not my scene.
It's not my scene. It's literally not my scene.
I don't want to see. see yeah i don't want to seat at that table doesn't come across my desk so i'm chilling because i could sleep through anything but i hear the good vibes i'm so happy everyone's talking and then i hear like a weird murmur and everything goes silent and like you know when you just have like that spidey sense where you're like something bad happened so it's like silent for like 30 minutes and I check my phone no one texted me and then I like hear someone say something and I'm like did someone die like did someone have a heart attack like I start freaking out but then like no one's telling me anything so I'm just like I'm just gonna stay here you know when you're like I don't want to ruin my day I'm gonna stay here until you're like if I don't know nothing happened yet yeah yeah i'm just staying in bed finally someone opens the door and they're like and it was des and he's like hey just want you know uh the water tank burst and it's been flooding downstairs and we've all been um wiping like putting towels down um just letting you know walks out i go no one thought to wake me up no one was like you know what would make this situation better if Hannah was awake no one even told me because what were you offering to that no literally they thought about it and they were like it would be better if we kept her out of this Hannah didn't know I start googling like water tank burst I'm like this is really bad and my mom's like we's like, we're handling it.
Everything's being handled. Does it on the phone with the plumber? And I never felt more insignificant, but understood.
Hannah, it's so funny you say that because there are, it's interesting to think that like your other family, like you obviously like you call a family member to talk about another family family member but you don't think that like other family members are calling to talk about you like it's you're almost like shocked i do feel like there's a lot of roasting though in my family and like i'm known as kind of the one oh hannah she's you know type b she forgot her wallet again she spilled everything like oh that's Hannah yeah but also I have like crazy productive people in my family like my mom could run the country if she like put her mind to it so it's kind of like let's cut our losses my brother the other day said something to me and I was like I forget what it even was and I was like you didn't tell me that like why didn Like, when did this happen? And he was like, oh, well, we're not allowed to tell you certain things when you're really stressed out. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? And he was like, mom tells everyone not to annoy you with anything because like you're fragile.
And like during your tour, you were really and he kept saying the word fragile. And I was like, I i'm not fucking fragile it is funny to think about yeah like every now and then i'll hear people who like work with giggly squad be like oh before we tell hannah and page let's make sure we tell them this way and i'm like we're dumb like what there's no we're not matilda jerf just tell us what's going on we're not gonna kick you like no.
No, I'm literally, here's the crazy thing. I'm not going to do anything.
Whether you need me to do something or not, I'm not doing anything. So, like, I don't care.
People call us and we're like, please text or send a voice note. Like, I'm not trying to get into it with anyone at any time.
No, people need to realize truly at the end of the day,iggly squad is built on not giving a shit yeah i do think we should start giving a shit about um the drones they're filming a new season of new jersey housewives that's what the drones are it's just andy cohen being like we need a step up production this is why tiktok can't get banned everyone on tiktok just being like are we the most unserious country in the fucking world like we're just like yeah there's like something happening literally 10 feet away from me and we're like we don't know well like we have things to do though someone was like i love how after luigi mangioni um they're like we're gonna need drones in New Jersey all the Italians are up to no good no it's just not been a good week for Italy okay if you guys watch my Amazon live then you've heard this story before but when my brother comes and stays at my apartment sometimes my skincare will go missing but the number one thing he's always stealing is my Caudalie Vino Perfect Serum. If you haven't tried it it's and if you haven't heard of Caudalie then listen up.
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Like we're not like, let's calm down for a second. Here's the other thing.
I saw a comedian say this. I think it was Shane Gillis actually who said it like years ago that like Italians are like really the only minority that like you can make fun of still.
And like it kind of is so so true like the next day it was like every meme was just like about italians but i kind of love that we're just like yeah we don't give a fuck like i don't you could say whatever you fucking wanted to me i don't care like it doesn't matter i was getting tagged they did luigi with like long brown hair and i was getting tagged in it so much being like, why is this Paige DeSorbo?

And I was like, I love it.

I think it's amazing.

I love it so much.

But like, it was just, it's a crazy day.

It's a crazy week for Italians in Jersey.

It is crazy that people are, the government.

I mean, everyone is so pro Luigi because he has a six pack. Like if he was ugly people would be like hang on no it's crazy people are like he's he's peter pan um but i do have to say the united healthcare guy he is a drug dealer well that's that's what happened that could happen in the fight when you're making millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars from giving people health or not yeah obviously like this guy was like a husband and a father and like you don't want anyone to be like murdered yes but also like think about how much insurance companies just fuck people over and like they're in like the biggest time of need it's just i do have to say vigilantism is not the answer let's not just start shooting people.
But I do feel like the girls love that Luigi took the time to engrave the bullets.

It's aesthetics.

I feel like it also makes you look at your boyfriend being like, what have you done for me now?

What have you done for me lately?

You can't even write a card.

And he literally engraved every single bullet he shot into that guy's back.

It's like, write me one note.

Write me like a thoughtful text message. Write me one post.
Leave one post it before you leave for work. No back it's like write me one note write me like a thoughtful text write me one

post leave one post-it before you leave for work no it's crazy but yeah the luigi stuff as an italian is very funny but yeah i think the guy had a he had a mental break i don't think it was like a sane thing i mean the guy was like super smart i also loved all the memes just being like his mom didn't know where he was for a month yeah okay there's no fucking way there's no fucking way mom didn't know where he was are you fucking kidding me that's crazy chapel ron was like his number one search or like his favorite artist i love it wait okay i have i have another topic to bring up that i was talking about with one of my girlfriends and we were talking about how men how like so many men get like the hair transplant and like the hair like plugs or like flying a turkey they're like doing whatever yeah and she was saying she was like i believe she was like i believe that if you are in a certain tax bracket and you make a certain amount of money a year, you should not be allowed to be bald. And I was like, elaborate.
And she was like, as women, we're on TikTok all day being like, I got my lips done. I got my eyes done.
Like I did, this is what I did step by step because we have to because if we don't continue to look good like we get disregarded in society and she was like if you are a man and you make a certain amount of money like you should have to get a hair and not be bald it's funny some girls love a bald man but do they or are we programmed Is it the same thing as like a dad bod is it just the same thing because i know that if i walked out being bald like i would have a very different climate yes yes and also normalize them giving us updates day 27 like give me a 50 part series of your hair transplant we can watch them for bbls you know who actually does that benedict polizzi who i love he's a comedian from indiana he got a hair transplant he got a hair transplant and he like takes photos of it and he just makes fun of it i love it a man of the people and you know what italian so maybe Italian. So maybe we're, look.
We love it.

They just get it.

They just freaking get it.

What if Luigi posted in his manifesto,

nobody left me a lasagna?

I'd be nervous because people would think

that we were connected.

Like, we'd be like, of course.

And he's a giggler.

Also, like, did they AI an Italian last name? Like, that's insane. That's the most Italian name I ever heard.
It's just not a good week for our people. If he was, like, really, really Italian, though, he would not go to McDonald's.
No, that's what I'm saying. If he was, like, really, really Italian, his mom wouldn't have reported him, like, missing.
She would have found him. Like, there's just no way.
You're not not going missing there's literally never been a missing child also if you were working at that mcdonald's and saw him would you report it i don't think here's the thing when people when like something happens and there's like a manhunt and it's like pictures of him posted everywhere in the street in the city I'm again thinking about myself there's no

fucking way I'm walking into like a

street of him posted everywhere in the street in the city i'm again thinking about myself there's no fucking way i'm walking into like a starbucks and being like that's a guy that's a guy i'm not even looking at him say something fucked up no one's ever gotten an amber alert and been like oh good let me help this out you're like i'm in the middle of a text and you just interrupted my text everyone has the same reaction did you see the amber alert that's crazy like yeah that's like also never gone an amber alert and like ran outside to find the missing child also has anyone ever found the missing child they never give you the update they just never give you that they're gone and then nothing else they never give you the update and usually it's the dad and most of the time it's the freaking dad and actually period it's always everything goes back to your dad it's the dad. And most of the time it's the freaking dad.
And actually, period. It's always everything goes back to your dad.
Here's the thing. Wait, let me just say one thing.
Yes, yes, yes. For how much we like despise men, like majority of the time and like their actions and just like overall characteristics.
We do have to say that like we grew up with the best dads ever so like i want to love men i actually was born and programmed to love men i do like them but like they're just so stupid most of the time yeah i like a self-aware man like i like the men that like are calling out their friends but also leaning in i like quiet ones i like them quiet i like them i feel like when they're quiet they know things like because they're listening like what is that like to listen i'd be so smart if i didn't talk so much if i retained any information from other people and so i'm just walking around like no that's literally you walk around like that so you know i was talking to these other male comics they were talking about like they're making jokes about like how women talk a lot which is so funny we don't know what like the male comics are joking about yeah with their like girl jokes i'm like girls talk a lot joe rogan has a four hour podcast every fucking day girls talk a

lot we need to take a nap after 45 minutes like we're about to take a three-hour nap from yapping truly truly truly joe is literally over there five hours a day can i say something i'm mad at with fashion oh yeah sling back heels why they don't fit my my foot they don't stay on they don't stay don't stay on like if what is the thing in the back for because the slingback just goes it falls off yeah and then i'm like it has to be a good shoe it has to be an expensive shoe i'll buy like a 200 slingback and it's not slinging really it's not slinging i think it needs stretch it needs to have like stretch it can't i don't think you're putting it high enough up on your ankle are you putting it high enough up i went to college i don't think it should be that difficult for me to figure out how to wear a shoe like if i have to maneuver it that much a little sweaty it could little sweaty? It could just be. Yes, they're always sweaty.

I do think also maybe there's not enough curvature in like the back of my foot that it doesn't like stay.

I fear you've been ill advised on slingbacks and.

Wait, so you're standing with slingbacks right now.

I stand with slingbacks.

I do stand with them.

I think that like I like them for a certain outfit, but i understand the frustration when they don't stay up i think they look good but like you i can't even walk on stage with them i don't think it's something that like we're gonna solve i think that you just stay away from them i feel like you don't care about me right now i do care about you but like it's just like i feel like i'm struggling with something and you're like not you're not clearly struggling no you're taking the side of my op here's what i'm gonna say you're taking the sides of my enemies there are certain things that i feel like as a female like you just do kind of live with because it's like oh it's just like a girl thing that we have to deal with i'm more like i just deal with it yeah you're more like i'll fight every man who invented this yeah like yeah so like we're just different in that sense wait i feel so bad because i forget who said it but there's a girl on tiktok you guys should search it who was like wait so we have wireless drones but we don't have a wireless hair dryer she was like we don't have wireless dysons even though we have wireless dyson vacuums yep what the either they don't care about when they don't care or they want us to strangle ourselves with a cord sorry there's so many sirens that was the police telling us we need to stop calling people out on the pod speaking speaking it's just the patriarchy and matilda jerfs people sweden's arrived you'd be surprised how many things like bosses will make their like office manager or their assistant do no and also but this is the thing bosses I think, get away with it a lot because the person says yes.

So they think the person's cool with it.

But like, you're not going to say no to your boss.

Like, I've done weird shit for bosses.

Unless it's in my contract.

Get the fuck out of my face.

Like, what?

Do you have like an example of something that you're like that?

Like after where you're like, that was weird.

I've definitely I definitely saw like this one boss made um this girl walk her dog every day and then also made her make her breakfast every day like avocado toast and stuff it just seemed like unnecessary you know what's so crazy at me as a boss because i think i'm a people pleaser like i feel like i work for them like i am constantly apologizing to josephine and grace and being like i'm so sorry that i can't get my shit together to give you what you need so that you can send it off to whoever you need to work with like i text grace i always go i'm so sorry for bothering you but same and then i'll be like wait i'm like a 32 year old woman and like i pay them and i'm like scared of them but i kind of love it too because like if she comes over to my apartment or something and i'm ordering starbucks like yeah hello like it's just normal like human decency it's also like low-key fun to be a boss because you're like we can do whatever we want today no there are so many times where i'm like should we just do like couch and like and blankets like go get your blanket sometimes i feel like i pressure her like i'm like we're getting bagels and she's like i'm okay and i'm like you don't want to everything bagel with scouting cream cheese and all this stuff and she's like i'm fine i'm like let's fucking party with bagels right now the other day i said to josephine i said would it be crazy if i got us a personal trainer and we worked out three times a week together because like i won't do it if someone else doesn't do it with me that's where hr gets and she was like yeah i mean like i'll do it with you but like i made grace do hip-hop yoga and like she liked it but i also i like was afraid to text her again to feel like she was like being forced to sweat and possibly faint in a hot hip-hop yoga whatever we're fun bosses we're fine we're the cool we're cool moms we're cool we're like do whatever you freaking want i know we're like if you want to smoke a little weed just don't i'm truly like that i'm like let's get high and figure this out speaking of bread one more time i ordered room service i'm in la yeah and i was like i clicked like continental breakfast or whatever and it didn't say anything about bread so i wrote in the notes can i please have sourdough bread then they start calling me because i like did it online they start calling this is so unnecessary and they're like hi it's extra for sourdough bread that i'm like yes just send me why is the when is the bread not included with no an egg breakfast so then i'm fucking pissed the bread comes it's the smallest bread i've ever seen like is bread are they having a bread shortage and like what it's sourdough it's healthy there's something with hotels like adding like things that are like add-ons that it's like okay well that goes with it and also if you're a five-star hotel and you're not doing room service and you're still going through like covid rules or something or like if you don't have room service as a hotel what are you you're an office space office space. Okay.
You're a WeWork. You're a literal WeWork.
WeWork with pillows. Get your shit together.
Bring back room service with silverware. If you are at my door and you're handing it to me in a brown paper bag, I'm thinking the worst things in my head.
Don't get me started about forks. Anyway.
won't and we won't and we absolutely will not that's all the time we have for today stay posted for next week for my um my fork speech fork discussion continued. On NPR.

I do have to say, I have a couple stand-up dates I'd love you guys to come to.

I'm going to Timonium, Maryland.

I've never heard of that place, but I think it'll be fun.

Actually, I think I've been there.

Sounds like a boss.

Yeah, I'm going to.

Sounds like a healthcare company.

Irvine, Alabama, New Haven, Connecticut, Providence, Rhode Island, Brooks, California, Highland, California.

See you there.

Paige, what's going on with you?

Nothing.

I'm going to sleep till January 8th.

Yes.

Amazing.

Oh, actually, I'm going to be on the Today Show on Wednesday morning. We're doing winter accessories.
We're very excited. I love that I was uninvited.
They're like, hey, we got a call. Actually, just for Paige to come on with Hoda and Jenna, they said leave the redhead at home.
They go, leave the girl who came in with fake glasses and laughed too loud. No, you're doing your fashion segment, which is really is really really fun and you do a lot of research for it and you put a lot of work into it so everyone i actually do do a lot of research for it you do everyone go get your mom's cable password and watch page on the today show um we love you guys so much thank you for giggling with us.
I hope you're all slowing down for the holidays. Hey, it's Mark Marin from WTF here to let you know that this podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
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