
Giggling about onlyfans, canada, and cake
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Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these. They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.
Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool.
They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to or what like murder podcast I'm trying to get to the bottom of, solve a mystery.
Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears and the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge so there's like not a lot of admin you can wear them anywhere they're perfect from working from home hanging out with your family or if a plane, just vibing. And guess what? They're available right now on Amazon and there's even a limited time discount happening.
Check out Noom One at our Amazon store today and grab yours with the 20% discount campaign. Trying is believing.
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stores or in store at nordstrom and nordstrom rack explore more and nordstrom in stores or online at Nordstrom.com or download the Nordstrom app. What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my gotcha gigglers? Oh, good.
I do have to say, at the end of our shows, we do a Q&A where Grace goes around and chooses people based on their kind eyes. Yes.
She doesn't like when people run up to her aggressively. She doesn't even want to be doing it.
She doesn't want to be there at all. She doesn't want to be there at all.
And this girl runs up to her and grabs the mic and immediately everyone was like oh no like because this girl clearly was blackout having too much fun the girl grabs the mic and i'm like what you gonna say and she just goes gotcha and everyone just went nuts no it was so funny so it's become a thing now like gigglers are coming up to the airport just going gotcha so. So we created.
Honestly, it's kind of terrifying. A lot more monsters.
Someone came up to me on the streets of New York City. Gotcha.
Gotcha. I'd be like, they're going to shoot me in the face.
So we almost didn't make it to Canada. No, we almost didn't make it back into America.
Both. When we were going across to Canada, the lady was not having it.
Giggly Squad is a professional podcast. Let's talk about something that's really important.
Border control. Talk about border control.
You didn't think this was going to be top of the agenda today. And I understand that Canada was, in fact, trying to keep out the riffraff.
And that is. And we respect that.
And I respect that. We respect that.
We pull up to the border. And we get.
First of all, we get our passports. We like give them to her.
She's stunning. I feel like that's important.
Yeah. And her skin was glowing.
But she immediately had an attitude. She was like all at the same time because Grace was like holding two.
And she's like all at the same time. I was like, oh, she's not happy with us.
And then this is the difference between me and Hannah. Hannah wanted to give her her life story.
Like, this is why we're here. This is what we're doing.
And I was like, tell this bitch nothing. Why does she need to know what we're doing at the casino? So this thing with border control, if you don't have like a when you are working in another country, you have to have like a slip of some kind.
Yeah. and I've definitely gone over and like didn't print out the slip or whatever and then just been like I'm going to see friends and they can't really say anything but this time I knew we had the slip and she was giving us attitudes so she was like why are you guys here and I was like we're performing I love how I was like ask me more bitch ask me and she was like what kind of performance is this like a band or I was like.
And I was like, I actually can hit the note. Thank you so much for bringing this up.
I've been practicing. Did you see my wicked note? Because I did hit it.
And it just immediately goes, yeah, this is a band. But she's looking at us like, there's no way you're a band.
And I go, we're a podcast. She's like, what's your podcast about? And in that moment, I wanted wanted to be like how difficult it is to get over the border and how you get attitude and I tell that to the guy when we leave and he's the guy driving us and he was like you would have gotten us arrested if you said that and I was like thank god for the first time in my life I kept something in my own head yeah and you said comedy comedy and she looked at us like well you're not funny um and then really scared us like we weren't going to get through.
So we didn't think we were going to get through, even though there was they make you feel like you have cocaine up your pussy and you start to like they gaslight you to be like, I shouldn't go over the border. Well, here's the thing in my head.
If we did have cocaine in our pussy, who was going to stop? They weren't going to get it. They weren't going to find it because this is the first time I've ever gone into canada driving like so going through the border like in a car yeah they don't check anything no they're like do you have guns and we're like no and she's like good she's like don't lie don't fucking what if i did like i totally could have in that car we definitely think canada you gotta tighten it a little bit tighten it up but then going back this is we've done six shows in four days it's the end of our tour for 2024 we're like oh my god we did it and it's zero brain cells between the three of us it's 7 a.m so I never have brain cells at that time and we get to the border and the guy goes give me your passports and grace immediately looks at me with like a weird look and i'm like like you were her mom she looked at me like the guy said it in a weird way and i was like i don't think he was mean about it and then she's like still looking at me with this weird blank stare and i'm like are you okay and she goes i can't find my passport and this is when wait that's such a like little kid to your mom like mom can I tell you something when are we going home that's like how it felt no and immediately I'm like I turned into my mom you turned into yours I start praying I'm like it's fine we'll say St.
Anthony St. Anthony you went to God you found Jesus I assume that I took it I go I probably have it I'm going through my I'm like, oh, I was looking for that chapstick.
You looking through your bag was so iconic.
Because. I assume that I took it.
I go, I probably have it. I'm going through my shit.
I'm like, oh, I was looking for that chapstick. Wait, you looking through your bag was so iconic.
Because Grace goes, why are you looking in your bag? You go, I'm trying to be helpful. I started looking under my shirt.
I'm like, in my hat. I'm like, we're done for.
You go full negative. You go, we're never leaving.
I go, we reside here now. And it turns out we were in, what's it called?
It's like an in-between.
We were in purgatory.
We weren't in America, but we weren't still in Canada.
So we couldn't get back.
No, we couldn't go back to Canada to be like, we forgot it.
So we call the hotel, though, to be like, do you guys, can you look in the hotel room?
And it's like a bunch of security guards. And they're like, we looked, we couldn't find it.
And I'm like, is there a woman there?
No, truly.
Because you guys search for two minutes.
I know how men look for things.
They don't even like lift stuff up yeah but they're like we can't find it and the woman is like Grace gives her a paper and Paige is just like we're not making it yeah I'm like there's just I'm like there's no way this is 2024 you can't like get into America without a passport. At that point, we weren't even trying to get in.
We were just like, fuck.
We were like, what do we do?
What do we have to do?
Meanwhile, border control getting back into America.
She's like, yeah, you guys are good.
And Paige is like, St. Anthony, St.
Anthony, we're never going to make it back.
And she's like, can you please just like drive?
And Paige is like, we're never going to get home.
So they were begging us to go back to America. Grace got back into america oh yeah grace also didn't have another form of id i was like i was like there's no logical possible i was like if you had your id and you lost your passport yeah you're saying you're grace no she lost her id in boston america was like we don't give a flying thought so for anyone who needs to get in from Canada, you're welcome.
You're fine. Our arms are wide open.
And if you're thinking, Grace, stop losing things. Grace has too much on her plate.
No, she does. Grace has to keep, make sure we're awake.
Make sure we're breathing. Make sure we're fed.
She's asked for HR multiple times. In the past three months, we've denied her request every time.
We're like, put it in the comment box. We'll get to it in 2025.
There's going to be a Netflix documentary about the toxic work environment of Gaylee's squad. And it's just Grace, like anonymous speaking like, yes, this one time.
They changed her voice. Hannah forgot her boots and I had to Uber back 40 minutes to get her boots for the show.
One time Paige commented on my boobs and how she wanted to see them. You guys are laughing, but everyone with a real job is like, yeah, not okay.
Not okay. She won't legit ask for HR.
We start laughing. We're like, that's so funny.
We have to harass you. You're the next Lizzo.
Hannah. We've never taken Grace to a strip club.
We've never taken her to a strip club, even though she all the time i'm just kidding grace's mom who listens oh god anyway anyway we're we're back quick update and i forgot to say yesterday i am on the holiday episode of is a cake a lot of moms have been messaging me just want to say um i probably was the worst judge that ever judged. Do you know how fucking hard it is?
Yeah.
They give you 20 seconds.
And you're far away.
You're far away and they give you 20 seconds.
But you also have to say stuff that's like funny.
Every time I blanked.
Yeah.
And like, it's one of those things where like, I think I could hit the wicked note.
I don't think I could get, is it cake?
And Tiffany Haddish was like confident.
Like she was like, that's cake. That's cake.
Turn that turn that that's guys said whatever she whatever she wants whatever she wants what was funny is when we got there they were I was like do people like get upset like you know we're judges like is this fucking American Idol and they were like literally once someone cried like years ago but like no it's really fun but they were like they do work for like 12 hours to put these cakes together so just like keep that in mind yeah like they're tired the whole episode was people crying the whole episode people cried and i loved all the i was like no you're perfect like i don't even tiffany got it i don't know like i couldn't tell you're perfect but do they get like eliminated i only watched your episode they literally are like bye bitch so my god it's cutthroat the episode is like them working hard and then us dumb comics coming in being like death cake and i like the host too oh mikey day is so cute yeah he's cute he's funny so he's actually i realized from one of my favorite like viral youtubes back in the day of who's the um magician david's i was gonna say david spade david Blaine. There's if you YouTube David Blaine, it's like making fun of David Blaine and how he'll be like, I'm pulling this out of your pocket and how people freak out.
And it's. I feel like there was a time in like the 2010s where like magicians were really having a moment.
No, magicians were cool. I feel like we should bring it back.
I don't know. Have you ever gone to a magic show? I once went to this like swanky New York City bar where like everyone sits and there's a magician at the table.
It was really fun. Yeah.
But there's two types of people. One that are like, oh, it was in his glove and for this.
And then there's people who are just like, I believe in magic. it and that's what i was i i enjoyed it until they were bringing out like the doves i don't need doves yeah i don't need live animals leave the animals out of it um that's why we don't have live animals on the giggly squad show like david blaine and like locking yourself in like a cage that like goes into shark infested water it's like maybe call a therapist just what like men will do anything to not go to therapy and they'll become magicians no and why is it always like the girl that they put into that box well have you ever seen a female magician like putting a man into a box and and sawing it up okay now that's my next netflix now i need to do that well i feel like like pilots we're gonna get like a ton of girls being like I'm a magician as you should be but it is it is funny that it's always a man being like I think yeah I've never seen a magic show advertised and it was like a woman normally I guess it's more like the Cirque du Soleil where the girls are like I can take my limbs and like fold it behind my head which jealous I'm actually into that tiktok I feel like me and you should do it but it sounds like have you ever seen this one every girl that was a former dancer I just have to say did it probably get you like nowhere in terms of your career probably not no but you know like like.
Sorry, it's a Monday and Hannah showed up. No, but you know, like, you played football, you got a scholarship.
Yeah. I don't think there were dance team scholarships.
The dancers have a hard life. No.
Well, like, yeah, they're getting paid no money doing. Maybe they became cheerleaders.
And so, like, even become a professional dancer. You're just, you're a backup dancer on a tour.
Yeah, you're not getting like the recognition. But what I'm going to say is, were they fucking cool in high school? Yes.
The dance team at my school. These girls were just popping their pussy like so effortlessly.
They would all do it like the same. And like they were untouchable.
Like they were. The only reason I wanted to become a cheerleader in high school was the vibe.
In my like public school I went to there. The cheerleaders kind of were like we barely had a gym.
Yeah. Like I don't know what they were doing.
It was the dance team that was the shit because they were like they could give a blowjob. Yeah.
The dance team knows how to give a blowjob. Sierra came out with her song when when she came up with, my goodies, my goodies, my goodies, my goodies.
Every cheerleading team. And then the hair flip.
Yeah. And the hair flip.
And the hair flip. That's my favorite thing with dancers.
They're really good at the hair flip. Actually, one of my favorite things to watch on TikTok is, like, college dance team competitions.
Yeah. It's amazing.
But I do have to say, y'all bitches are so lucky I can't do a split. Hannah, we're so lucky there's so many things that you can't do.
We're so lucky that you don't have the voice of an angel. We're so lucky that you're not flexible.
If I was flexible, I'd be sitting here with my leg around my head. And we're so lucky you're not a morning person.
If you had those three things, I don't think we'd even be friends. I don't think, I don't think we'd even be sat at this flower table.
I might be the star of Wicked. Which, by the way, I saw with my mom.
And what did you think? It was fucking fantastic. Are there moments that you would be cringy or you'd be like, I'm going to fall asleep? Yes.
But after watching it again, remember, I'm delusional. You are Glinda.
Like you are Glinda and I am Alphaba. Yeah.
This is like a niche comment, but it was giving like reality TV to me where like you kind of became the princess.
And then I was like, gotta go.
I flew out and I was like, ah.
I'm like, you're just going to leave me here with all the munchkins.
I became the Wicked Witch of the West.
But then people realized it was it's all the whole thing is about propaganda.
So the story of Wicked is about us.
It's literally Giggly Squad. and there's short men running around no not the short men but i do have to say it's about propaganda of how like you can make anyone believe in something and you can make every everyone can bond over hating the same thing and there's this concept of they all started to turn on the animals because animals could speak and they were like these animals speaking is bad and they got everyone against it and also you guys know this from the wizard of oz this isn't a spoiler oz is all bullshit like his power his everything it's all just made up to control people.
And she calls him out. I didn't know that.
And they try to make her seem like she's wicked because she was the only one telling the truth. Speaking your mind.
Speaking your mind. Being like, ah.
And, well, people are going to leave that ready for that. It's getting better.
Don't say that to me. It's not getting worse.
Don't fucking say that to me. It's either staying the same or getting better, but it's not getting worse.
Well, because at first, honestly, there was really bad acoustics in that room. And you had a phone group.
I also had like a weird nap earlier that day. You had eaten a lot of dairy earlier that day.
Musicians are so funny. They'll be like, all you have to do is drink Dr.
Pepper with a little bit of honey and you're sounding amazing. Like everyone has a weird, like, thing they do.
Did you see Ariana and Cynthia were both nominated for Golden Globes? Yes, as they should. Want to make one note? Why? I think it's one of them, Golden Globes.
They added a comedy section. They did section they did but they well they have like the comedies and they go musical slash comedy why is that the same then they added a stand-up thing I was not nominated um I will be speaking to the academy about that wait so it's a section of tv film musical slash comedy yeah how comedies.
Yeah. How many musicals slash comedies are there? To have a separate thing for musicals, like musicals are not comedies.
It's just like these, the Academy or whoever does not respect comedy as an art form when it's fucking hard to do. And when you say it's comedy, it's just movies and TV.
It's not specials. Specials was just given last year its own.
Okay. And it's sometimes.
Who was nominated for? Specials. Yeah.
Well, Ali Wong. Okay.
Nikki. Okay.
Jamie Foxx, who I didn't know had a special. Really? Yeah, I was just going to say.
Rami Youssef. And there's one more that I'm forgetting.
Shane Gillis? No. Really? But that's why you – Who's nominating the people? Okay, actually, this brings me to my next thing.
Lana Del Rey didn't know that you had to submit your songs to the Grammys. But also, she's not even the one that would do it.
It's her team who would do it. But she was like, i didn't know that was even a thing her managers had to tell her like no you have to submit to get a grammy did she not submit no she just thought like oh you just like get put on the but that's her team's job right no but then they submitted her okay but like going into it she was like oh i thought you just like i actually don't know if my team submitted me Grace can you double check that I think that's what I think it got lost in the mail what about the section for live shows and drunk girls live podcast no but I do have to save awards in general this is like end of the year where you're gonna start seeing oh my oh my God, everyone doing the like my year in a nutshell and it's like love, broken heart,
working out, eating good food, traveling the world.
Wait, what are you talking about?
This is what's going to happen on TikTok.
Everyone's like end of the year like montages, which I love that everyone's making their
life more romantic than it is.
But like, who's it for?
Send it to your mom.
Who's it for? Put it together. Send it to your mom.
Speaking of, do you have any New Year's resolutions? I'm trying to survive today. Yeah.
New Year's resolutions. Anything you're trying to like improve on, change? I'm drawing a blank.
That's crazy. I'm perfect.
I actually do want to stretch more. But like, yeah, I've been saying that since I was 12.
Yeah. No, I want to work out more.
Not even like this is the first time in my life I'm like, no, I need to work out because I'm brittle and frail and I will die. Not like, oh, I want to have like a high tight butt.
But also yes but like mine is definitely not because i'm
brittle and frail um but i we travel a lot and i feel like yeah our bodies are like breaking down i mean i've been doing the worm my lower back i need to be stronger we want to be strong and strong is beauty as a loner mayor alona mayor would say goodies. My goodies.
Another thing. I have a question
for you. Yeah.
You walk. Say you're walking into your bedroom.
Wait, you never ask me questions.
This is crazy. You're walking into your personal bedroom.
Are you pointing? Because I'm trying to
stop the scene. This is you walking in.
OK. You're walking in.
You're staring at your bed.
Yep. OK.
You're at the foot of it. You're staring at it.
My bed's on the left. Okay.
What side do you sleep on? Oh, okay. This is crazy.
It's crazy. This is crazy because not to brag, but when we're in West Hampton.
Yes. When we're in West Hampton, I sleep on the left.
Okay. on the left okay I've always slept on the left in the city I sleep on the right basically I sleep whatever's farthest to the door the man in my head the man sleeps closest to the door okay that is how I sleep too like I'm always closer to the window yeah because if someone comes they get them first they them first.
As the door. As they should.
But I saw this thing on TikTok that was like, it has nothing to do with like the door or whatever. There's a masculine and feminine side of the bed.
And she said, if you're single, you have to sleep on the left side of the bed to like tell the universe you're ready for someone to be women in the arts I don't support this it's not true but in like okay me not even knowing this inherently I go to the left side like I go to the feminine side well it's funny because I was single and COVID, I slept on the right side the whole time.
That's when I met my husband.
So go fuck yourself.
I'm not trying to be negative Nancy.
In my old apartment, I slept on the right.
But I felt very in charge and very masculine.
I love when life imitates Ari.
That's when I was really just coming into my own. I do understand the coming into your feminine energy thing energy thing but again I so need to come into my feminine energy in 2025 I'm gonna but I would argue let's all like that all of it's made up like what makes feminine energy is a stereotype anyway like what if feminine energy is being assertive and organized and like it's all all the binary all the binary stuff.
Like, let's forget. Okay.
You're a soul. Thank you.
You're like, like Daphne. Speaking of that bitch.
How is she? When I came home yesterday from tour, she was like giving me attitude. Like, oh, look who it is.
Wait, she's the only one in your life who gives you attitude. Truly.
Like she come over to me like I obviously picked her up and was like we're snuggling we're hugging we're loving and she was like okay and then like I'm gonna go do my own thing so she wasn't like actively coming over to me it was more just like can't believe you're back like this is what we do here so like fall in line and then at like 3 a.m. I felt her little head on my head and i said okay are you not mad at me anymore and then we loved each other and then this morning was good this morning i was just like you're perfect and that's why i love cats because like you're almost you respect her more yeah i mean like i was disrespectful i was four days i want to earn your love i left you with like a plethora of men like in and out of the apartment, like feeding you, petting you.
You probably had no idea what was going on. And then I just come home and I expect you to be like obsessed with me.
And she was like, give me a freaking minute. Which is so page coded.
So page coded. She's like, you're not just coming into my life and like rearranging things.
But the best thing was my brother was watching her over the weekend and he calls me the one day and he goes, hey, everything's fine. Daphne's fine.
And I'm like, what's wrong? And he's like, well, she's just like really lethargic. I don't know if something's wrong.
And I'm like, oh, my God, what is she doing? And he's like, she's just like not getting up. And like I'm calling her name.
She's like not looking looking at me and so i like look at the clock and i'm like it's two o'clock we're in prime napping time no call me when there's something actually important goodbye cats are cuddling from around 11 to 4 i would say like they're not moving they're not doing anything she also was partying the night before running around doing whatever cat drugs she has. This tour is sponsored by Neutrogena.
I have to confess something and Hannah's actually turned me into a new person. I can't believe I let her do this to me but we no longer get glam when we're on tour.
Doing it myself I have to have the perfect base and that's why I love the Neutrogena Hydro Boost water gel. I actually don't use primer because my amazing makeup artist once told me that you really just need good hydration so I always use it as my primer.
And the Hydro Boost water gel really is such a weightless hydration and it stays for 24 hours and we're flying multiple days in a row so we need that 24 hour protection and we can both use it and we have two very different skin types and it's suitable for all skin types. Shop it now at Neutrogena.com.
Everyone knows I have an emotional support water bottle. I even bring it out on stage when we're doing Giggly Squad Live.
But if I'm going to be drinking that much water, why don't I amp it up a little with liquid IV? Hannah's got me into putting things in my water bottle I never used to do it before but she's really upped my water game liquid iv has so many flavors to explore like their zesty new hydration multiplier it's sugar-free raspberry lemonade and it's so good they have a bunch of true to fruit flavors that keep you hydrated they have acai berry lemon and pina colada. And just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates you better than water alone.
And I love drinking water, so I love optimizing my water intake. So fuel your curiosity with Extraordinary Hydration from Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Giggly at checkout.
That's 20% off your first order with code giggly at liquidiv.com. With the seasons changing and spring really coming in hot, I'm dreaming of warmer weather and a getaway.
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Visit life360.com or download the app today and use code Giggly to get 15% off. That's Life360com slash ad-free podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads.
Also speaking of travel, you saw the woman who, with the Paris flight. Who just like got on the Delta flight with no ticket.
She broke onto a Paris flight with no ticket. I think it was Grace.
And she was just going from like bathroom to bathroom. Okay.
After being on tour in a thousand different cities, the airport is made up. And accidentally breaking into an Indianapolis flight tsa is straight up made up
we broke into the airport in indianapolis hannah almost got on with no ticket like that i'm not kidding that accidentally scarred me accidentally when i said how did she get through tsa and delta goes we don't know that terrified me i was like what are we all doing here. They said, gotcha.
No, TSA is a lie.
The border is a lie.
There's no authority
anymore. terrified me.
I was like, what are we all doing here? They said, gotcha. No, TSA is a lie.
The border is a lie. Like there's no authority anywhere.
There's no authority. Also, all you have to do is giggle and they'll be like, oh, they're fine.
Yeah, it's just like crazy. No, that woman getting on the Paris flight is insane.
I feel like when you're getting on flights, they're more worried about you having a purse. A third bag.
I was just going to say that. I've been stopped getting on the flight just because I have a mini purse that's like not consolidated.
If I hear the word consolidated one more time in the airport. As you know, I literally almost got arrested during a Southwest flight because of this and I had to choke myself in front of the line.
However, this is sexism. They're not factoring in that we come with a mini purse.
A mini purse does not count as something that would- It's an extension of my body. It's extension for your body and like, yeah, men don't have purses.
So they just think in their head, oh, too, that was made by a man. And you know what? All of his stuff in my purse.
Yeah. In my purse.
So why don't we split that purse up? When I go to the airport, I have my luggage. I have my backpack that then has like my makeup and my laptop if I remember it.
And some people would have a nice bag as you do. Like a big bag.
And then you have your purse with your phone and- Your wallet. Your wallet and Grace's passport.
Your personal items. And your personal items.
That's called girlhood. That's called being a woman.
But what I do, because look, I don't follow the rules. No, you don't.
Gotcha. You put your purse on first.
So I put my purse on first and then I put my backpack over my purse. Yep.
And they've never got me once. No, they really don't get you.
They don't get me. And if they did, I would just be like, oopsie poopsie.
Yeah. But I'm not putting my little purse into my backpack that doesn't fit to then just take it out when I get to my seat because they both fit.
If they both fit under your chair, what are we doing? I'm done with airports. I'm done with TSA.
I'm done with planes. The last plane we got on to, it was all men in the aisle rows.
And I'm like so tired and like struggling and my arms are shaking, like putting my luggage up. And I literally put it in the overhead bin.
And I'm not kidding. I turned and I looked at all of them and I said, you should be ashamed.
I mean, I didn't say that, but I gave them all looks. Yeah, we've lost etiquette.
We've lost the plot. We've lost the plot.
There's no airport etiquette. I'm freaked out.
Have you heard about the meta smart glasses? No, there are these glasses that you wear that really look like normal glasses and it pans people's faces. And when you see the person, you can press on them and Google them and see like it matches their face no and that's where i'm out that's where i'm out no thank you that's where i'm out no thank you i mean maybe for dating it'll be good but like anything that's like it feels so um exposed it feels so violated being at just like picturing being at like a bar and everyone's just looking
at you with the sunglasses and you're like you're liking what you're reading like where where would
that in what situation would that be like oh thank god i have my thank god i have my spy glasses
like no that's the thing in what situation is that like helping leave we're the girls are already
spying like we know what's going on we don't't need stupid fucking glasses. Unless like it was for like the police.
Yeah, the police should have them. But like, I don't need one at Starbucks.
No, imagine a guy comes up to you and he's like, do you have a podcast about like how sharks kill you? And you're like, yeah, that was a clip we did. And then he's like, cool.
That's how you date. No, no.
Don't approach me. If you're a man, don't approach me.
Also, if you're a man with stupid sunglasses out of Starbucks, don't approach me. No, I rarely get approached, I feel like, by men, unless like their girlfriends want a picture.
I don't know. My algorithm thinks I'm a know my algorithm thinks i'm a lesbian i've gotten more and more that i give lesbian energy wait no i know for a fact that you could have like at least one relationship with a woman and it'd be like amazing but then you'll go back yeah like aesthetically you'd see you'd be like i would like this like for photos i don't think she just goes down on you all the time i don't here's the thing as someone who is a lesbian with the lesbian community way more community.
Way more with the gay community, the gay male community. See that, I could be a lesbian if we were just chilling on the couch and chatting.
But that's just a friend. Would you be? Well, I couldn't be a lesbian because of the sexual stuff.
First of all, we're in a lesbian relationship. Yeah, but we don't go down on each other.
But you know what? A lot of these lesbians – I was going to say, a lot of these lesbians, I don't know, but in marriage, don't you eventually stop? So aren't we just a married lesbian relationship? You come in and you're like – Starting a sentence with – I don't know. A lot of these lesbians.
It's so funny and amazing. I – no, I could see you – you okay i don't want to like okay you know caitlin carter please don't put me in a box do you know caitlin carter yeah like one she dated miley cyrus and like i saw it question is do you want femme or masculine um oh i don't know what i would want i think that's gay of you my instinct is i would want like a femme girl okay okay if i went more masculine like a girl that was that was more masculine, I've dated gayer men than that.
Like I've actually been with someone more masculine.
I think that's the thing though.
Lesbians, their whole thing is that they have the masculinity that I said earlier wasn't a thing.
But then also like when two lesbians raise a baby.
Well, that's profound. It's just the most incredible thing you've ever seen that's i mean the the their apartment must be so when i
think of lesbians i just think about like their apartment must be so tiny tidy and organized
yes like everything must have and everything's fixed everything's fixed everything's in its
proper place yeah like and they're cooking but they're cooking like steaks they're cooking but
Thank you. Yes.
Like everything must have. And everything's fixed.
Everything's fixed. Everything's in its proper place.
Yeah. Like and they're cooking, but they're cooking like steaks.
They're cooking, but then they're cleaning up after they've cooked. You know, like they're not waiting for the next morning.
They're barbecuing and making all the sides. Yeah.
Do you ever see like a WNBA girl that you're like, wait, you can throw me around? Yes. No yes no no but there is one wmba girl but i don't know if she's actually page buchers yes she's not out i'm obsessed with her though but like her vibe i'm like oh she's like has like swag and i'm like nervous like when i look at her but like i don't want to date date her.
I know you're so right. I'd be like.
But also imagine I dated someone with the same name. Like the Taylors.
The Taylors. Yeah.
The Taylors. If I went lesbian, I would only go lesbian with someone named Paige.
Which is honestly so Paige coded. So Paige coded.
I mean just think about like us as a couple, we're P squared. Wait, I love how this whole episode is just me calling you gay.
Yeah. Wait, I have a question.
Because your fingers are so long. Yep.
Are dicks like smaller to you? Like for me to get my hand around a dick, it could be small because I have little nubby fingers. Every dick seems huge in my hands.
You could amass their confidence you're literally holding a string bean with your fingers oh my have you thought of that like you give me a hand job is it doesn't get embarrassing ever because your fingers are folded over so much you've like you've like I've wrapped around three times um no but I once had a guy say that like my fingers are so girly looking and like my nails are always done. That like he liked the way my hand looked.
That's crazy. Never happened to me before.
Not once. Well, I always say you could be a hand model.
I could. Hand job.
Oh, God oh god wait this is actually really good segue the men are mad about only fans why so girls are coming out being the only ones on it because you came up with. Some girl came out and said she's making like $40 million a month on OnlyFans.
A month?
Did I make that up? No, I think a year.
And the men are furious.
But it's like, this is just basic business.
Well, it's not girls subscribe to it.
I mean, it's not matter your own people.
If there's demand, there needs to be supply.
Yeah.
Econ 101 that I didn't even go to. So why did I go full Sebastian Menescako? 43 million in her first year.
So the men are furious and this is my thing. But you guys paid her.
You're the ones paying. Yeah.
Also I feel like guys used to make fun of girls for being strippers. And it's like now we're making money doing sex work that is safer in our own apartment and entrepreneurial.
I saw this quote that was like, I can't remember it like exactly now, but it was something where it was like women. Oh, fuck.
It was like women. If it's unconsensual, it's sexy.
If it's consensual, it's just slutty. So like men like feeling like we don't want this and that's like seduction and like I'm going to make her want this.
But when we're like, yeah, give it to me it to me they're like you're a whore and that sounds my therapist would say is you don't love yourself if the second the girl wants to fuck you you don't want it look but also like only fans is like going on to porn hub but like they're just they have a better pay situation a better pay structure they're doing their own production it's just the girls areFans because it goes straight to them. Right.
Instead of getting like, I mean, there are companies that do OnlyFans, I guess. There's men on OnlyFans too.
There are men making money on OnlyFans too. It's just.
The women are just smart enough. Like, no, I'm not paying for porn, you bunch of idiots.
These fucking guys being like, I would never, I would never marry a girl who does OnlyFans. I'm just gonna, she wouldn't touch you.
No, she wouldn't touch you. The guy, she's, she'd literally buy and sell you also.
Like she makes so much money. You would be a joke to her.
Like these, if you have ever had to say out loud, I wouldn't marry a girl who does OnlyFans. You've never met a girl who does OnlyFans.
Like you're not even in the room with this level of girls. You're not even in her tax bracket.
Exactly. But I think it's they're mad that a lot of men, I think, don't like hot girls because they feel like they're already rejected before.
That's what I was saying. I have your algorithm.
They think I'm like a hot girl who likes white cats who has a southern boyfriend because I keep I send you anything that relates to you so it fully so it sends me things like are you a really hot girl and did you I'm like no but they say how like hotter girls get approached less yeah and how people can like be and like I'm not trying I admit something to you that I don't think people would like ever really like imagine I've never been truly hit on in my dms like ever not even Charlie Booth no like I've never had a man that I've like pre not previously met like yeah I've had like guys like yeah oh, oh, I met him at a club or like, oh, he's a friend of a friend, like slide into my DMs and be like, you look whatever. But you have random guys be gross.
No, I don't. I don't have random men being gross and sending me sexual things.
And I don't have anyone like ever shooting their shot in my DM. I've never had a guy that I've never met before who is like anything that like I would potentially date DM me and say like let's go on a date or something.
Never. Is that kind of crazy? I hate to say it and I hate to like support pretty privilege but like it's because I think my Instagram is not even anti-men but it's like oh this is literally this is literally like shoes, clothes and like Daphne.
Well, the male gaze is a real thing. And you can tell as a man, like, Chris, can you tell when a girl's posting for men versus posting for girls? Well, yeah.
Yeah. So like the girls who are posting- My first shot is at my ass.
Actually, you did. That was for- Who was that for? That was for myself.
That was for myself to be like, you're 32, but you still got it. But no, my Instagram very much gives girl, like for the girls.
Yeah, for the girls. Not lesbian, but for the girls.
And you also look just like really rich, pretty, and mean, which I feel like. Good.
Don't fucking DM me. This is not an invitation.
This is me saying, I like where it is. Keep it that way.
Back in my single days, I was very, like, I was just chatty. I love to flirt.
And it was like, sometimes guys would message me, but also, I would message men. I.
I never really even like did that well on dating apps.
I was very, I was active.
Yeah.
I was chatty, chatty.
Like I'd lose interest quick, but I'd also was quick to just say something funny.
And like, I think like my whole, if I look at my twenties as a whole,
like how many years of that I was on dating apps, like definitely like more than two.
I legit only went on two dates from dating apps maybe three I've gone on yeah no doesn't really get that many match I would say dozens well you're probably crazy picky true I mean not that I was just like well because you know what dating apps actually used to make me really mad because sometimes I'd get like someone sliding in there and I'd be like, how dare you? How fucking dare you? Like, you just pissed me off. Like, in what world, sir? Like, that would annoy the shit out of me.
But like, if you have the confidence, yeah. I feel like I would just swipe on like I was it's the apps are so strange, but it is algorithmic
and it is numbers.
Yeah.
So that's why it's like I would just like I'd start talking, talk, talk, talk, talk,
talk, attention, attention, dopamine, dopamine.
It's like a game.
But yeah, I'm so I'm sorry that no man likes you. I'm sorry.
You don't have a husband. What I was going to say.
And no prospects. I'm working on a new bit because I feel like I know I'm funny because my husband's better looking than me.
Wait, you know that you're funny because your husband,
I don't think Des is better looking than you.
I think you actually are a very complimentary couple.
I can't tell if you just dissed us or complimented us.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
That's my whole personality. I don't know if Paige just insulted me and read me for a film I'm gonna go to sleep to mind and be like oh it's so much for recording to Paige what does she mean by that what did she no I think there's moments where like I glow up and I'm like ooh I'm fucking hot right now but then there's moments where I'm like he's so naturally good looking like his bone structure like his cheekbones like his nose like he's a naturally good looking man And I should be like, ooh, I'm fucking hot right now.
Yeah. Then there's moments where I'm like, he's so naturally good looking.
Like his bone structure, like his cheekbones, like his nose. Like he's a naturally good looking man.
Naturally good. But I've also always been.
I don't know why. No, I've not always been pretty.
Oh. What's hot like? Oh, no.
Call the authorities. You're so Glendacoded.
You have to. I I'll watch it with you I haven't always been pretty No I'm gonna I have to watch it with you But then we might get kicked out Cause well You can't make You can't sing along You can't make a sound No I'm not gonna I wouldn't even dare sing along Yeah but that's when we get our giggly fits.
No. Wait, what were you saying?
No, so just saying that like you have to have –
I know I have a good personality because I'm with a hot man.
I think that was always why I liked hot men to prove that like I could be the man one.
Like I could be the ugly, funny one.
But you're not the ugly, funny one.
But that's my identity. Okay.
Am I the prettiest person you've ever met? Yes. When I look away from the mirror, yes.
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Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers. I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there
are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been wearing flats so much with like, honestly, with like sweatpants, jeans, capris. I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now.
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Did you see...
Jonathan Bailey in Wicked?
No.
Did you...
Cooper Koch in Fernandez-Brother?
We have to get over the gay men that are never going to bark up this tree, okay?
They don't care.
They're actually they're
actually repulsed the fact that they would be repulsed by me is yeah again why i need therapy
and why i'm obsessed with them and when they put their stupid straight voice and they go hey what's
up i'm like i come yeah no they'd literally look at your vagina and be like oh yeah now what was
oh sorry did you see timothy chalamet
oh with the sports talking about sports yeah i don't know one thing he said i don't it's that's above my pay grade i don't give a shit but i could was he acting like i didn't couldn't understand the bit who knows don't care i could not stop listening and watching him there's something about a guy doing, I think because I'm so girly and I love doing like girl stuff that when I see a guy doing like boy shit, I'm like, I'm obsessed with you. Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's also like very New York of him. Like at the end of the day, he is just like a New Yorker.
He is just like a New Yorker. And he could put it, he could just talk like this.
Yeah, he's going to win the Super Bowl. He's going to go this and win these games and whatever.
It was like, wait, and suddenly I'm pregnant. Him with the mustache.
It's not Jacob Elordi bad. No, nothing's as bad as Jacob Elordi.
Like what? Someone needs to call his mom. I love that he's lost some power.
Jacob Elordi. Yeah.
Yeah. I realize who my celebrity crush has been.
I never spoke it out loud. And I know he's not good for me.
Okay. I know he's bad news.
Let's say ours at the same time. Okay.
One, two, three. Chris Hemsworth.
Theo James. You say Theo James? Who's that? He's like this British guy that's in um he's in like a lot of random things but like most recently he was just in that hbo show oh what's that one where they go away on vacation wait he looks like matthew bomber are you sure he's straight he's straight okay but that is he's so fucking that's not even like a good picture i know but like that's like him younger no no he's but he's beautiful he's beautiful and he's swaggy I feel like and I think he's tall yeah but that's not your type I know but I like him but you like them a little pretty you like them aesthetically a little pretty see I like I also like Dua Lipa's boyfriend who is she who's Dua Lipa who's she with Callum Turner or something Is he like skinny with tats? No He just looks like a guy who could take a punch See I can't do anyone that like I like Timothee Chalamet But I can't do someone like skinnier than me One that'll send me into a fucking tailspin And two like I don't want to be able to snap you in half.
Have I ever been with a skinny man? Oh, my high school boyfriend was tall and skinny because they're going through a weird time. They're going through a weird time where they're just getting long.
But it was definitely annoying. He would accidentally do a skinny arm pose and I'd be like, no.
No, I don't think I've ever dated someone like lanky. Not my brand.
I've never dated like a tall, lanky guy. You love them sturdy.
I love them compacted. I love them stout.
You want a thick baby. You want a little chonk.
You chonky more i love a chonk i love a chonk because i'm like this is the best day of your life and like again we're not trying to put dad bods on a pedestal but there's something to be said about a man who's been working all day so he's put on a little pouch well it's also like most of my life my type has been either like Italian or Jewish. And sorry, they're chonky.
I'm Italian, so I can say this, but I'm sorry. They like they pack a punch like they 100 percent.
I also I do like Liam. I like aesthetically.
I love Liam Hemsworth, light eyes, whatever. And that clearly he dims women's lights.
Yeah. And not to pick sides.
Well, maybe.
I don't know.
I was never.
Here's the thing I'm going to admit.
Why is he single?
That's what I'm confused about.
I've never been like a Miley, Miley stan.
Yeah.
So I was never really as invested in their relationship as other people.
I like her and I like her more as we both get older.
I was too young for Hannah Montana.
So I feel like we missed that.
Also, whenever I met anyone, they'd go, oh, like Hannah Montana? And I'd have to be like, yeah. Oh, like when you'd be like, hi, I'm Hannah.
Yeah, it was really traumatizing. You should have been like, no, Hannah, like banana.
That's what I would say. Like Hannah Banana, that was first.
Like Hannah Banana. Sorry.
Instead of Elvin and Angel, it's Hannah eating a banana. Can we just talk about all the moms right now whose lives are being tortured by Elf on a Shelf, which I did dress up as on Sunday.
I hope by the time we have kids, that fad's gone. I'm not doing Elf on a Shelf.
No, well, you have to do it if everyone's doing it. But it wasn't a thing that we did growing up and we're fine.
I know, but think about them going to school and being like, my elf. And then your kid's going to be like, I don't have an elf.
Elfs aren't real. You're going to be like, you have Snoop on a stoop.
Wait, I love someone messaged me and they're like, hey, I'm a mom and I want to watch Is It Cake? Just want to know, do you say Santa isn't real at any point? And I was, and I go, honestly, I don't remember what I said, but I don't think I said that. Actually, when you have children, they're growing up and like you're doing all the Christmas stuff and you're doing like you're sneaking around like all the Santa's real stuff and all of that.
If your child gets to an age where they're still believing in Santa, will you tell them? This is such a hard question. Is every mom just waiting for like them to find out on their own? Because like, is there an age? Because I feel like there's an age where I'm like, all right, look, we can't have her be the freaking class.
Like we got to let her know. Yeah.
I, I definitely, there have been people in my family who it was like a little late where it got a little awkward where everyone was like, Hey, just so you know, she and we had to kind of like go with it I just think there's a part of your brain at a certain age that you realize like oh there's like how old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't around if you have kids oh my gosh I don't remember sorry I don't remember the moment I think it was I think yeah I don't it wasn't like a big house I was just like I don't care who gives me presents just give me fucking presents yeah like it didn't need to be Santa but I do I have thought like why would I do that to a kid like lie to them but then I'm like the magic it creates is so worth it yeah in a very truly page coded way I remember I was in fourth grade I was hearing murmurs I was I was like, oh, all the kids are chatting about gossip. The gossip was so hot on the playground.
The tea was teeing. And Christmas was coming up.
And I said, you know what? Let me do a little test. And I didn't put on my list this pair of leather pants that I wanted.
I was in fourth grade. I was like, I need these leather pants.
Didn't put them on the list like that I knew was going to my mom. And in my I was just like I want these leather pants and then when they didn't come that Christmas morning I was like something's up something's up my mom would write a note and be like um Santa whatever loves you and here's a cookie or I would write a note to Santa yeah and then she would write a note back with a bitten cookie.
Yeah. And when I found out Santa wasn't real, I was like, has this sneaky bitch been writing all those notes? Yeah.
You've been writing the letter. You're like, who's eating the cookies? You sneaky little bitch.
I just thought my mom was like, I was like, you sly little fox. Yeah.
Because I think there are some kids that like now, like I meet some adults and I'm like like you seem like one of the kids that were in seventh grade and you're like no he is real and I can't have that energy around me but then there's also the weird energy of the kids who were young going around being like well my parents said Sam's not real it's stupid and we just believe in science well fuck you Sam like fuck you fuck you that you don't have a happiness in your household well and then anyway um no i do have to say like there is a moment though when you're a parent where you're probably like working so hard to get together and then your kids to just be like thanks anna and you're like it was it was me but i do think there's a point too where your kids become grateful that you like went above and beyond i'm not doing the elf thing but everything else to make them happy i'm gonna make you do that thing the reason why i spoil my parents and my grandparents now is because of those mornings yeah that like they spoiled the fuck out of me and the joy it brought like i'll that's it was so important I actually had a moment this year at 32 years old this is the first time I've ever decorated my own apartment with like Christmas stuff and I was like that's so crazy like the past 10 years living in New York City I just like haven't cared about like Christmas decorations don't need to put them up I it's not like I'm sad about it I'm like I just like don shit. And one of my friends said, well, that's because you must have grown up in a household where your mom made Christmas so special that you don't like long for it.
Like you're just like, oh, I know when I go home, like it's Christmas there. And I was like, wait, that's so true.
Like I've never felt like, oh, I'm not in the Christmas spirit. It's just like, no, my mom's going to do it.
My mom is doing it. Wow.
I do have to say I saw Paige's house that she grew up in. No, I moved there since like 16.
But I saw your house for the first time when went to Troy. And I feel like I couldn't.
I already thought I understood you too much. I couldn't understand you more.
Like when you walked in, like the aesthetic and everything, I'm just like, oh, this is where Paige gets her taste. What about when you walked into my bedroom and I said, it used to be my parents, but I made them trade me.
Also, there's a couch outside your bedroom. She goes, that's the waiting area if people want to see me.
Can I just come into my room? You have to be invited. Miranda Priestly.
You have to be an invited guest. Oh, my God.
it was amazing and Kim spoiled us with all the food. She really did.
But I really feel like you can't be really close to someone without seeing the house that their parents live in or that they spent some time in. No oh my god no.
Yeah I feel like there's moments that I've like stopped liking a guy when I went to his house. Oh.
And I saw the vibes. I feel like every boyfriend I've ever had.
I'm like, oh, gotta go. Yeah.
Like you're you're making up like you just see the tip of the iceberg when you go to his parents house, you see the iceberg and what they built. Well, because so many people it's such like a mix, you know, and it's like, oh, when you marry someone, you marry their family.
But then other people are like, don't go by the family like you're marrying the person yeah i very much i feel like go by the family yeah and i've even stayed with boyfriends too long because i'm like oh but i love his mom like i'm obsessed no i know but i've seen something like a dad has done before and been like that's literally gonna be him no true and that's a no to me also like sometimes you know those guys who just like tell their mom to shut up and like roll their eyes and you like never saw that side name before. And you're like, oh, because you want to fuck.
Yeah. There was only one relationship I ever had.
And I saw the dad and the way he talked to the mom and like how the mom like reacted. And I remember sitting there and just being like, oh, I will never be in this family.
And I have to up with your son literally tomorrow because that just terrified me. Yeah.
I think a lot of gigglers probably have dated guys whose moms are like outgoing, fun, funny, strong women because that's most if I see the mom and the mom is similar to you, I feel like it's a really good sign. Yeah.
Because it's like he respects her. He respects her he respects you you guys are similar yeah I think that's like a good green flag to look for okay not to be too positive on giggly squad um oh jag this was from a couple weeks ago but I thought it was important to bring up because you're the aesthetic queen jaguar or as they say in europe jaguar is that how they say it jaguar jaguar um changed their logo and like i don't think anyone's ever been passionate about a jaguar logo before the internet is up in arms they're so mad about it they're really upset about it i don't care well they made it very like gen z they made it look like it's literally like a fizzy drink brand oh my god yeah it looks like it like will get you fucked up if you bring a pack as like a six pack it's for local yeah it's a four local car it does not give luxury whatsoever and jaguar is like a luxury car but i feel like jaguar is not that big in America as it it is it's not and i think they're trying to go really and make it be like more um electronic vehicles like evs and maybe they're trying to look more like for the future but also like we don't care and i'm sorry i brought it up it's okay because like no one no but i think it is an interesting topic with like how many brands are changing their logos to be like more plain.
Yeah. And it's like, I like a good logo.
My final thought is there was a meme that said, why is there nothing funnier than your friend saying a word wrong? And I realized that's our entire podcast. it's just me and you trying to put words together and not doing it.
And then it's calling it a day. I feel like one of my earliest memories of you, is this real or is this you or someone else? I'm going to say it, but I'm pretty sure it's you.
I feel like were we ever walking down the street one day and you tried to say the word espadrille, but you said the word Esmeralda? Was that you? I feel like it was. And it was like the funniest thing that's ever happened to me in my life.
And I was like, what did you just say? And you're like, she's wearing Esmeraldas. I think you're trying to say Espadrille.
And that is Giggly Squad. The one, oh, shout out to Burner Phone.
If you guys aren't listening to Burner Phone, you should. It's basically Giggly Squad.
But if Des corrected me. It's as if I had knowledge.
It's Giggly Squad, but the second co-host is knowledgeable. Yeah.
If you enjoy Giggly Squad, I highly recommend you listen to Burner Phone. We have also an exciting announcement.
Tour 2024 is done.
But we're not done, bitches.
We're not done.
We are announcing the new shows added.
Presale goes up on Wednesday, December 11th at 10 a.m.
with the code Giggly.
Nashville, Tennessee.
And you thought we were going to forget about you.
New Orleans.
St. Augustine, Florida, where we don't know where that is, but it's going to be good weather.
And Hollywood, Florida.
Tacoma, Washington.
Portland, Oregon.
I almost lost my virginity in Hollywood, Florida.
Keep going.
Portland, Oregon for some granola.
Vegas, because how could we not?
And then ending with our Mormon sisters in Salt Lake City.
I'm so excited to go to Salt Lake City.
Thank you. some granola.
Vegas, because how could we not? And then ending with our Mormon sisters in Salt Lake City. Wait, I'm so excited to go to Salt Lake City.
I know, I'm so excited. It's actually lit.
Everyone's just fucked up on Coca-Cola. Maybe we'll stay out there and do a little ski vacay.
We won't ski, but we'll go to a ski place. Okay, I'll do that, but I'm not skiing.
I retired. I've announced my retirement.
Even though the Olympics keeps reaching out. I literally just want to put the outfit on and get a picture and go.
No, it's literally perfect.
Also, I released some We Write at Dawn merch.
Check it out right now, hannahburn.com.
And go watch Paige on Amazon every week.
Forever.
For the rest of your life.
For the rest of her life.
We love you guys so much. Thanks for getting with us.
Talk to you later. Bye.
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