Giggling about breakdowns, beta blockers, and bravolebs

Speaker 1 Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad. In case you didn't know, Abercrombie's active brand is YPB, aka your personal best.
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Speaker 1 So I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said, I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch.

Speaker 1 So I started listing them on Depop and honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over and someone out there will be obsessed with them.
And the best part, there's no seller fees, none.

Speaker 1 So the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy.
I listed something while watching TV and it sold before the episode even ended.

Speaker 1 Depop isn't just one aesthetic, either, it's all of them: minimal, street wear, date night, whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it.

Speaker 1 So, download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite.

Speaker 1 And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style Hotline.

Speaker 1 We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at gigglystylehotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show.

Speaker 1 Depop, where taste recognizes taste.

Speaker 2 Sup, gigglers.

Speaker 1 Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.

Speaker 2 Manifest that shit.

Speaker 1 We can't be managed.

Speaker 1 I mean, the day you just got away from me?

Speaker 2 Hello?

Speaker 2 No, you guys, we're not okay.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not okay.

Speaker 2 If our audio isn't perfect, it's because we're not perfect. We're not perfect people.

Speaker 2 I'm in LA.

Speaker 1 We've been so giggly squad-coded this week. It's not even a good thing.
It's been insane.

Speaker 2 We went to... The bit has gone too serious.

Speaker 1 It's gotten to way too serious.

Speaker 2 Paige, I like forgot my phone and an Uber, and then I almost forgot my...

Speaker 2 My MacBook and Anuber. And then I walked in, realized I forgot my library.
Like, you know when you've literally forgot your torso? Like, I forgot my

Speaker 2 library card in my hotel card.

Speaker 2 And I literally was just naked. And they were like, what's going on? And I'm like,

Speaker 2 and it was like 1 a.m. after our shows.
So I do have to say, before we get into it, that our shows have been, I'm biased,

Speaker 2 unfucking believable. Like the crowds, the content.
Like, I'm so proud. I think it's one of the funniest.
I think it's the funniest show we've done.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm still thinking about your library card.

Speaker 2 I literally haven't been to a library since I was 19.

Speaker 1 No, I'm trying to think if I ever had a library card.

Speaker 2 No, I could smell the back of the book. And then I always get afraid.
How? Wait, I was so afraid that I wouldn't return the book or I'd lose the book.

Speaker 2 And then my family would be in debt forever to the library.

Speaker 1 That's why I never took any out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're smart. So anyway, long story short,

Speaker 2 the actual show has been fucking unbelievable. So far.
Everything else has been chaos. Chaotic.

Speaker 1 No, truly chaotic. This is why we belong on reality TV because it's just been true chaos behind the scenes.
I also will say we've been getting really good guys for Is He Trash.

Speaker 2 But is that good or bad for society? No, it is.

Speaker 2 The fact that the hit rate is getting higher for trashy dudes.

Speaker 1 No, it's so funny because like when we first started doing the segment, Is He Trash, I was like, how is this going to go? Because this is like completely by chance.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it ends up always being funny because it's so like raw and real. And like, I feel like when you're on stage, like

Speaker 1 you can, like, if you've never been on stage or do that type of thing, you can only really be yourself because you are so stunned that you're like in front of like 3,000 people.

Speaker 2 No, it's literally like getting a zoo animal and putting them like in a cage. and they're like, What the fuck is going on? And then you start

Speaker 2 and therapy. It's chimp crazy.
Also, the best part is when they say something that's not trash, and I love looking at you and being like, Paige, and you go, trash. Trash.

Speaker 1 I love when other men in the crowd try and form an alliance with like the guy on stage.

Speaker 2 I like getting the men to feel finally feel comfortable, and then when they feel comfortable, putting them like right back in their place.

Speaker 2 Honestly, it's it's emotional terrorism what we do on stage the boys and then no it makes me think of like it makes me think of like theo vaughan where he's like i think women should be able to kill like one man a month like i feel like that's our version of like bringing a man's confidence down at least once a week my favorite is when the gigglers like turn on the man so much that i'm like look I had a method, but like you've, we've lost control of the gigglers and now I can't help you because we can't control the gigglers.

Speaker 2 So, this is on you, babe.

Speaker 2 So, anyway, that's one of our favorite segments that we've been doing.

Speaker 2 Do you want to give them an update, Paige?

Speaker 2 Wait, this is so page-coded. She literally is like, I can't wait to tell the gigglers how I'm feeling.
And she goes, let's talk about library cards.

Speaker 2 Are you crying?

Speaker 1 If I don't laugh, I'll cry. It's just that's where I'm at right now.

Speaker 1 Okay, obviously, like, we did a tour last year, and I

Speaker 1 fine, amazing, great, walked out on stage, no problems.

Speaker 1 And for whatever reason, like this tour, I've never really, I've always said, like, oh, I have like general anxiety, like, I get nervous about certain things, and I'm just like a basic human.

Speaker 1 I never really felt panic attacks the way like people would describe them. Like, I would listen to people and be like, that's so crazy, and that's insane.

Speaker 1 And I feel so bad for you, but never have I personally experienced that's crazy for you, that's crazy for you. She got a handle on that.
Um, maybe talk to someone.

Speaker 1 And so,

Speaker 1 I had my first, like, real legit panic attack. And the crazy thing about anxiety is it's you don't know what it's about.

Speaker 1 And yes, obviously, like, I was about to go on stage in front of 3,000 people, so you could be like, Oh, yeah, it's stage fright, except that I've done that 50 times before. Like, I

Speaker 2 have been on reality, reality.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've been on reality. I literally love it.
TV for six years. You can't say anything to me that's like gonna rattle me at this point.

Speaker 1 So I think I was like part frustrated of like, what the fuck is going on with my body?

Speaker 1 I just want to say that the gigglers are some of like

Speaker 1 the realest people in the world. I had a giggler DM me.
She's a judge, like a full fucking judge. And she goes, I have to take a beta blocker before every court case I do.
And I was like, that's

Speaker 1 that's just like such being such a girl. That's such girlhood.

Speaker 1 And so I've never been on medicine for anxiety before. I

Speaker 1 not that I've obviously against medicine for people. Like if you need medicine, you should take it.
For myself, I always was like, I'm stronger than that. I don't need something.

Speaker 1 Like, this is all in my head. I, I'm, I'm strong enough to like tell myself to snap out of it.
And I just wasn't.

Speaker 1 And I think, like, admitting that to yourself is like part of the battle. So, I'd never taken a beta blocker before.
I didn't know what it was. It's actually for high blood pressure.

Speaker 1 And luckily, like, my makeup artist had one of them.

Speaker 1 It takes away the physical symptoms of a panic attack because that's pretty much your brain telling your body, like, hey, I actually think we're dying. So, like, prepare for it.

Speaker 1 And so, it takes away away that. And so when I took a beta blocker and went out and did the show, I was completely fine.

Speaker 1 At one point at one of the shows, then like I psyched myself out, like, oh my God, is it going to happen again the next night? And sure, it, sure enough, it did because I think I psyched myself out.

Speaker 1 At one point, I took half a Xanax. I do not like Xanax.
I am not a Xanax girly.

Speaker 1 It was not for me. The beta blocker worked way better.
I felt way better on it. Xanax, if you're on Xanax, obviously, like, and it works for you, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 For me, it like, I didn't like the way it made my brain feel compared to the beta blocker. The beta blocker worked nothing to my brain.
No, not that. I just don't.

Speaker 2 This is just raw. Can we acknowledge that I've turned into a full drug dealer in the last three days? No.

Speaker 1 Literally, I've never done more drug deals in my life. I've never gotten pills in an envelope to my fucking hotel room.

Speaker 2 No, it was wrapped in like a collegiate sweatshirt. Someone was like, who got a collegiate sweatshirt? I was like, not Paige.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, that's half a Xanax in there. No, it's so crazy.
And I just want to say to the gigglers that were commenting and being like, thank you for normalizing this.

Speaker 1 I guess I never, like when people would be like, oh, we need to normalize this or someone needs to talk about this more.

Speaker 1 I guess in my head, I always thought, like, well, would someone have like a problem with like that your body feels this way?

Speaker 1 And they do. Like, I

Speaker 1 think people really do see it as like such a weakness. And it's like, then figure your shit out.
And it's like, okay, well, obviously, I didn't plan for this to happen.

Speaker 1 And this is my job. So, like, I know I can do it.
It's obviously something that's like happening in me that I need to figure out.

Speaker 1 And I couldn't figure it out in 20 minutes before I had to be on stage. But luckily, I did.

Speaker 2 And I'm just so thankful to the other gigglers for being like I take beta blockers too don't worry about it because I did feel less alone I did feel less crazy honestly I felt crazy well I love that the judge messaged you because that like the gigglers are so strong because it's like you can go two ways you can go okay my body's nervous I'm having struggles this is not what I'm meant to do or be like this is what I'm meant to do and I'm gonna fucking figure it out and battle some demons to get to the next level And I do have to say that.

Speaker 1 Giving up is not an option.

Speaker 2 I do have to say, Paige had like, in our Denver second show,

Speaker 2 you had, like, Paige had a panic attack to the point that, like, we were, I had to look at her and be like, I don't give a fuck. We can cancel the show.
The gigglers don't care.

Speaker 2 And she got this look in her eye, like, eye of the tiger.

Speaker 1 And I put, I kept, I kept saying, I was like, I can't do that to the girls.

Speaker 2 I could never do that to the girls.

Speaker 2 Giving her ice. Like, I don't know why I thought, I was like, hold the ice.
And she was like, no, like, I'm.

Speaker 2 At one point, you go, touch the rug. Feel, feel how, be in the moment of how the rug feels.
I go, what the fuck is that going to do?

Speaker 2 No, but I go, I'm literally screaming, crying, throwing up, and you're telling me to touch the fucking rug.

Speaker 2 She's actually screaming, crying, throwing up. And I'm like, this rug is soft.

Speaker 2 No, because someone told me that.

Speaker 1 You know, Hannah started playing spa music at one point.

Speaker 2 I go, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I started playing spa music.
I was doing military box breaths with her. Like, I was going full.
But this is the problem.

Speaker 2 Once you get into a panic attack, you've kind of like lost the plot already where it's like,

Speaker 2 it's, it's more, we needed the drugs to kick in. And this bitch, the second we get on stage and the adrenaline hits from the gigglers and I'm just like pretending everything's fine.

Speaker 2 I performed the best I've ever performed. It was the best performance.
Also, at one point, Paige was like, I think she was throwing up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I had, I was taking selfies, and Grace was like,

Speaker 2 Your scissors go in. Your scissors go in.

Speaker 2 And I, I swear to God, I look through and I go, this is what Paige would have wanted. My outfit looks good.
Except, tell them what you did mid-panic attack when I was getting dressed.

Speaker 1 Mid-panic attack. There was so much commotion.
Like,

Speaker 1 my nerves would start to set in when we were like leaving the hotel to go to the venue. So, like, I was in my own head.
So, like, a lot was going on.

Speaker 1 So, Hannah hannah had forgotten her top to her outfit

Speaker 2 i was like i had too much on my plate she was freaking out and i forgot my top forgot your like your whole outfit and in denver in the green room the venue had made us these like silk pajamas with like Daphne's face on it and Butter's face on it and they were so cute.

Speaker 1 So they were in the green room. So Hannah just like puts on

Speaker 1 the pajama top. She's like, perfect.
I'm just going to wear this with my skirt. I'm literally trying to box breathe, hysterically crying.
And the only words I can get out is, you can't wear that.

Speaker 1 Lily

Speaker 2 just blacked out, comes out of her blackout to say, please don't wear that on stage, you're embarrassing me, and then goes back into having a full anaphylactic show.

Speaker 2 No, literally, needed an EpiPen.

Speaker 1 I pull a white t-shirt out of my bag. I go put this on.
Our makeup artist, Madeline, saved the fucking day. She got me a beta.

Speaker 2 What up, Madeline?

Speaker 1 She gave you her belt.

Speaker 2 Glam by Gibbs really was there for us.

Speaker 1 Glam by Gibbs saved our whole fucking life.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, also shout out to Grace for like running the show. Then Caige basically is looking at me and I'm just like, um,

Speaker 2 I actually was like a little too confident in you. I was like, she's being dramatic, but like she's going to be good.

Speaker 2 No, it actually, now that I think back to it, thank God, because you were acting so like you're gonna be fine that i wasn't freaking out more well i also know you like at the end of the day you are a performer and like i've seen what you've done at these reunions i'm like going on stage for giggly squad like i and i also am someone who's dealt with really bad performance anxiety and i know how like the beforehand is the worst and then once you're in it like you're in it um i also think this is a beautiful full circle moment because when i was about to shoot my neck flick special, do you guys remember the episode that I sat down and I just started crying?

Speaker 2 And you were like, you good, bro? And I was just like,

Speaker 2 no. And I was, I was in my like, this happens.
Like we have these waves.

Speaker 1 No, like everyone is a human. Everyone is a human.
And it's so like.

Speaker 1 Life is such a wave. Like sometimes you're really up and sometimes you're fucking down.
And when you're down, it does not mean that something's wrong with you.

Speaker 1 It does not mean your whole life is a sham. Your whole career is a sham.
Like thinking about that giggler who's the judge.

Speaker 1 Like imagine she had one panic attack before a court case and she was just like, and now I'm not doing this anymore. And it's like, no, this was your dream.
You can do this.

Speaker 1 You're just psyching yourself out a little.

Speaker 2 And also, what makes you so funny is that you're actually an overthinker and you're anxious and you overanalyze stuff. And that's what makes you so funny.
So that's why like a lot of comedians.

Speaker 2 No, yeah, so, like, you wouldn't even, we wouldn't have this podcast if we both were like normal. No, if I

Speaker 1 was normal, I wouldn't be on reality TV the past five years. I'd be a normal person.

Speaker 2 I do have to say one thing about reality TV. I think the people who do best on it have like actual personality disorders.
And I think you're actually healthy.

Speaker 2 And I think that you finished filming Summerhouse and immediately went on the road. And, like,

Speaker 2 anxiety comes from a loss of control, whether it's a control of your identity or control of results.

Speaker 2 And like, I'm sorry, shooting reality TV is while you're waiting for it to be edited, you're just rethinking everything you said

Speaker 2 and how everything could be spun and how anything could be put in a different context. So like

Speaker 1 could become anything. And you're just like, I don't know, we'll see.

Speaker 2 And you don't know. And so I do have to say, for the gigglers who suffer from anxiety, you could sit at home, do nothing, and not deal with anxiety.

Speaker 2 But arguably that gives me more anxiety when I'm alone with my thoughts. But like, if you're chasing a dream and you're putting yourself out there, you're going to deal with crazy moments like this.

Speaker 2 And I did, I remember when I said it to you that it wasn't helpful at the time, but I said like, this is not going to last forever. And I basically was like, treat it like a bad high.

Speaker 2 Well, you were literally having a bad high.

Speaker 1 Exactly how I would explain it. It was like I was having a bad trip and I was like, and life is like this forever.
And this is how I see the world now. Like, I couldn't even look at it.

Speaker 2 So you're like, I can't function anymore. And this is me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't function in society. Like, I have to become a recluse.
I'm like thinking about like,

Speaker 1 okay, I'm going to have to move out of my apartment. I have to go back to Albany.
Like, I just, I felt. I felt insane.
And I think that also psyches you out because

Speaker 2 well, then you're scared of yourself. Yeah, and then you're also mad at yourself.

Speaker 1 One of my biggest fears is going crazy. No, one day you just like go crazy and you can't control it.
Like the human brain is the scariest thing in the world to me because

Speaker 1 they don't know anything about it. Like I think

Speaker 2 I saw the schizophrenic documentary.

Speaker 1 Like when people get into like car accidents, they're like, well, we don't know. They might wake up.
They might not. We don't know that much about the brain.

Speaker 1 Like I always find that to be so terrifying.

Speaker 2 I do have to say, my really bad anxiety moments, they're the fucking worst, but I always become, like, stronger after in that I have more gratitude for when I'm just fucking okay. Yes.

Speaker 2 Because normally,

Speaker 2 like, you know, like back, like maybe two weeks ago, you were like, why is this not working? And why is that not working? Then once you are anxious, you're like, can I just be

Speaker 2 here with my heart rate at a normal rate and I will be happy to be alive? And once you get in that zone, life can throw anything at you.

Speaker 1 And, like, no, you're so fucking right. You're so right.
And I also feel like I am very,

Speaker 1 I think I'm a Scorpio. I'm a fucking cat.
Like, I think I am, I'm psychic. I think I'm very in tune with my body, maybe a little tiny bit more than the average person.

Speaker 1 Like, I know when something's going on with my body. Like, I knew when I had a cyst on my ovaries.
Like, I knew I wasn't getting getting my period.

Speaker 1 No, like I like I know when things are going on with my own body. I feel very connected to my body.
I always have.

Speaker 1 And that was, I think, one of the scariest parts because I couldn't talk myself out of it or convince myself of anything else when I'm very good at like manipulating myself.

Speaker 1 Like I can psych myself out. I can ignore certain things in the room to like not infiltrate my brain.
Like I am very good at protecting myself, I feel like.

Speaker 2 But also, but the fact you're so good at that, I think, is why your body basically was like, stop lying.

Speaker 2 We're nervous. We are fucking, and like, we're not like your brain can only lie to your body for so long before your body's like, I'm fucking not doing this.

Speaker 2 I'm not doing this.

Speaker 1 No, and I, like, now looking back, like, I just literally have to laugh so hard because I just have the most Italian parents.

Speaker 2 Wait, can we please? This is my favorite story, please. World.
This is my favorite part of the night.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, it's my favorite part of the night.

Speaker 1 My mom is the, my mom is the best mom in the entire world. She is the most nurturing, the most loving.

Speaker 1 She would literally drop everything and fly to fucking Africa right now if I was like, I need you to pick me up.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 and I don't like to tell her about my anxiety sometimes because like you think of like your mom and like your mom's getting older and you don't want to like burden her with certain things because it's like you don't, you shouldn't have to be a mom anymore i'm in my if i tell my mom i'm anxious then she's gonna be anxious with me and i'm like she doesn't deserve that no she doesn't let her enjoy dinner

Speaker 1 let her enjoy one night of peace i just i always think like i'm closer to being a mom than i am to being her child you're basically two years away from a geriatric pregnancy continue

Speaker 1 And so sometimes I'm like, I can't put this on my poor mother. She takes on everyone else's shit.
But in this moment, it's crazy when like you get hurt or you get sick.

Speaker 1 Like you truly do revert to being a little kid and you're like, all I want is my fucking mom. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I, she knew I had,

Speaker 2 I need to call my mom. And I go, great idea.
Great idea. FaceTimer, great idea.

Speaker 1 This woman, this bitch, gets on fucking FaceTime.

Speaker 2 I go, mom, I'm having a really bad panic attack.

Speaker 1 She goes, no, you're not.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Stop. Paige, stop.
Paige, stop it. Stop it.
Don't do this to yourself. Stop.

Speaker 1 You're in your own head.

Speaker 2 Oh, come on.

Speaker 2 Paige, stop. Paige, stop.

Speaker 1 I felt like I was immediately back to being a little kid and like I was being dramatic about something. And she's like, come, I don't have the time for it today.

Speaker 1 And it did really help me. And then my dad sent me the most dad text message I've ever gotten in my life.
He goes, look.

Speaker 1 He always starts, whenever he's going to say something serious, he starts the sentence out with look, like, look.

Speaker 1 Look at me.

Speaker 2 Look, look, look.

Speaker 1 Here,

Speaker 1 like, this is the best advice you're ever going to get in your life. He goes, look, everyone has,

Speaker 1 even athletes have a bad game. Some even go into a slump.
Look at Tom Brady. They fucking hated him.
He just kept going and now he's the best.

Speaker 2 You're the best. Just keep going.
going.

Speaker 2 And honestly, that is so fucking sweet of him. Has zero context for what's going on, but I so sweet of him.

Speaker 1 No, he's the best dad in the world. Like, he, he's literally, he's just such a quintessential dad.

Speaker 1 Like, growing up, if like something happened to me and I got hurt or like someone was mean to me, like, I was going to my mom.

Speaker 1 So, like, I don't think he was ever even put in a situation where like he had to nurture me in like a time like that because I was like I'm not going to you dude like I'm going I need my mom so now that I'm an adult like it's just funny and I love I love like I love watching him parent I don't know it's just like I enjoy it there is something about like the dad relationship that like over time

Speaker 2 it does become very sweet I guess like for me like I'll be talking to my mom every day and then occasionally my dad will overhear something and he'll text me and be like, By the way, like, I'm so proud of you, I love you, and I'm like, Okay, I mean, like, not necessary, but like, I appreciate you and I love you.

Speaker 1 I think it's I think it's because women are so strong. I see my dad, not as weak by any means, but I see my mom as

Speaker 1 like my rock. And I see my dad as someone like I need to protect a little more.
You know, he's just a man, he doesn't know, like, he's still just a dude.

Speaker 2 So, like, I've just, I do have such a different bond with my mom that I feel I feel like I can say more things Can I give you you have a lot of homework the next couple days including rest but one of them I do want you to watch the Simone Biles documentary I watched because I thought about her and then I felt guilty at comparing myself to a woman pickup No, but when she was in Tokyo She has she gets the yips which I've had which are basically like you're in it.

Speaker 2 You can't just get out of it and for her like if she fucked up she would like break her neck She goes back, calls her mom, who's at a filming party with the whole family, and she goes, Mom, I can't do it.

Speaker 2 And the mom just goes, Okay, okay. And she, and she just goes and she goes, Sorry, Simone's not gonna perform at the Olympics that she's been training for her whole life for.

Speaker 2 Everyone will go back home. And no, that was a hour.

Speaker 1 And I also, okay, I thought about Simone. I thought about that moment.
And I also thought about how after she was like, people were so mad at me.

Speaker 1 People were like you couldn't just get out there and do it and i felt that i was like oh my god i do not want any of the gigglers to be mad at me yeah because i was like going through this and so i had like a real mind fuck that like that's why when i went out on stage i was like okay just fucking do it because you're gonna let down so many girls It is crazy how like it's all perspective.

Speaker 2 And like when I played tennis, my perspective was like, you can't make a mistake. If you make a mistake, everyone hates you.
And you can't play free when you're afraid like that.

Speaker 2 And then with stand-up, I very purposely have a perspective of like, you're loose, you're having fun, you're being yourself, there's no losing. I'm proud of you for going out there.

Speaker 2 But like perspective is crazy.

Speaker 1 And I think the number one thing that was making me so mad at my own self was like Giggly Squad is my favorite

Speaker 1 thing in life. Giggly Squad is my favorite hour of the week.
I fucking love doing live shows.

Speaker 1 I was almost mad at myself that I was like, I filmed a whole season of Summerhouse, didn't have one panic attack.

Speaker 1 And then I get to like my favorite thing in the world and I'm getting like fucked up in the head. Like I was mad.

Speaker 2 But do you know that that makes sense because your anxiety is going to go to your biggest fear, which is attacking what you love? You're a big squad. Attacking what you love.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 2 So that was when I... Everything goes back to sports.
Your dad will get this.

Speaker 2 I remember my sophomore year of college, we were working on my second serve and my coach looks at me and goes, goes, you know, I was changing my grip on my second serve and I literally lost my second serve and couldn't get it in all year.

Speaker 2 The second she said that, I was like, oh,

Speaker 2 oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
And then immediately, like the next time I got in the court, I was shanking it. And I was just like, I lost.
Like, I made my biggest fear happen. It happened.

Speaker 2 And like, I overcame it. It took forever.
It was fucking embarrassing and horrible. I remember my brother coming to one of the matches.
I didn't tell him with his friends.

Speaker 2 and I was like double faulting and I remember hearing him in the crowd like, come on, Hannah. And I remember feeling like I'm embarrassing.
I think that's so embarrassing.

Speaker 1 I think that's a really big emotion that people don't talk about with anxiety. You inherently get like embarrassed because like after I had a panic attack, I was like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 And you were like, for what? Like, I felt so bad. Like, I literally ran off stage in North Carolina and I was like, I feel like I'm bringing you down and like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 And you're like, what the fuck are you talking about? You did fine. Like you just psych yourself out so much.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I'm just, it's just, oh my God, any of the gigglers that have anxiety or take beta blockers or take any type of anxiety medicine, I so fucking feel for you.

Speaker 1 And I like see you because it's even

Speaker 1 like I flew home.

Speaker 1 Last night on the red eye and I was on the plane and I had a moment where I was like, oh my god am I gonna have a panic attack on this fucking plane and I was like no I'm doing like a normal thing that I've that like I'm sitting on a plane I'm not even doing anything cortisol levels are so high right now anything could get like anything no anything thank you like anything anything

Speaker 2 could

Speaker 1 literally give me a psychotic break like please do not tempt me I can't even go on Instagram I don't even want to look at my messages because I'm like any little thing even if you ask even if you said you don't like that skirt I'm done for I'm literally done for you guys know that I'm all about daily urinary tract support and that's why I'm obsessed with Wisp with Wisp you can get access to health care you need same day without stepping foot in a doctor's office all you have to do is go to hellowisp.com to explore your care options and check out what the prescription or over-the-counter product you need.

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Speaker 1 The best thing I've ever done in my entire 31 years on this earth is get a fucking cat.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 1 am open, unlocking my door at 5:30 this morning. I think my cat, no,

Speaker 1 I think that Daphne

Speaker 1 knew my fucking footsteps off of the elevator.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, because

Speaker 1 never in the morning is that bitch awake like at 5:30.

Speaker 1 She came running to the door. I had just opened it, so there's no way she even heard it.
And my brother was staying at my apartment, so I was being extra quiet.

Speaker 1 I opened the door, she comes running to me, and I was nervous. She was going to be like mad at me because this is the longest I've ever been away from her.

Speaker 1 She comes running to the door, immediately purring, purring, sticking her head in my face.

Speaker 1 She has not left my side.

Speaker 1 It is pure like laying with a cat and having your head face their face

Speaker 1 is a Xanax. Like, I don't need a Xanax prescription because I have Daphne.
It is a crazy thing. And it's just, it's very different from a dog.

Speaker 1 I don't know how to explain it because I've grown up with dogs my whole life. It is a different,

Speaker 1 they just feel more human for some reason.

Speaker 2 Oh, they're like less animal.

Speaker 1 And she changed my whole life.

Speaker 2 They do get like love-starved, I call it. Like, butter has fun with Des, but like, when I come home, she's like, mommy is here.

Speaker 2 I also, on the anxiety note, there's this like shame that comes with it because it's like a dirty secret. Because like when we're sitting in the car, you're like, Hannah's not stressed about the show.

Speaker 2 I feel guilty that I'm stressed.

Speaker 2 I can't say it out loud and then it becomes bigger because you're like it's like a dirty secret that you're hiding yes wait hannah that's so true i would like do that with my forehand where like i'd be going to the match and be quiet everyone's like are you okay and i'm like yeah but in my head i'm like they don't know that i'm not gonna hit a forehand this match no and like so many of my friends will be like oh i'm like i'm in la like do you want to meet up before the show or like

Speaker 2 like my best friend's in denver and i'm like panic attack at 4 p.m i'm like, I can't do anything.

Speaker 1 And I just like, and I'm like, and I can't tell you that I'm about to rip my hair out and jump off the fucking balcony.

Speaker 2 What I've learned is like tennis, it wasn't actually tennis. It's not actually like the shows.

Speaker 2 Your anxiety will manifest into something. So like, I think we're both like, like you're working on a lot of things going on in your life.
I was working on a lot of things.

Speaker 2 And your 30s are about being like, we have a lot more life to live. How do we do it in a way that we can function?

Speaker 1 Well, there's a statistic that like from like 30, I think it's like 30 to 34, that like

Speaker 1 if you're going to develop anxiety and depression, like for women, that's the age you're going to feel it the most like heightened, which is a lot of women get pregnant during that time, which is like,

Speaker 2 so they're already dealing with postpartum.

Speaker 1 I think there's a lot of pressure on women. I would say there's the most pressure on women from age 30 to 35

Speaker 1 because, like, you are expected to get married, have a baby. If, like, you're not married and have a baby before 35, and then, like, after, you're kind of like disregarded in a sense.

Speaker 1 So, I think there's at that age, there's probably the most pressure on us because it's like you're supposed to have it all together by now,

Speaker 1 where men get a little bit more of a leeway. They like they get, I think, more pressure when they turn like 40.

Speaker 2 I mean, no one gave a shit. Des wasn't married at 40.

Speaker 2 Right, no, right.

Speaker 1 No one would give a shit.

Speaker 2 And it's, it's also like back then, when your only purpose was to get married and have a family, that's all you focused on. But

Speaker 2 now women are like, I want an education. I want to be financially independent.
I'd like to have a bank account, soon. Wait, I literally was thinking,

Speaker 2 I was thinking about how icks were created because back then you like couldn't have an ick. Like you're, you had to like the guy.
Like divorce was illegal back then. No, like, you

Speaker 2 aches are like a privilege.

Speaker 2 No, aches are literally women finally being like, wait, he sits crisscross applesauce. I'm not fucking marrying this dude because I'm financially independent.

Speaker 2 I have my own passions and I don't need this man. But it's, it's the kids thing that get people like, oh, I need to settle down so I could have that family unit by whatever.

Speaker 2 And because of just like your biological clock is like, we don't have much time okay Marissa Tomei um yeah but what I do realize about time is like again it takes one moment in your life for like everything to change meeting the right person like just the right career like everything can happen quitting a job and we can always move and change and everyone's gonna be fine everyone's gonna be fine moral of the story everyone's everyone's gonna be fine as long as they get some big big pharma.

Speaker 2 But I do have to tell you, speaking of big pharma,

Speaker 2 because you smoke weed, right?

Speaker 1 Well, I haven't. You haven't in like a week.

Speaker 2 So you're probably having a little.

Speaker 1 I just think it's having like a reverse effect on me. So like I have just been like raw dogging life.

Speaker 1 And I don't really drink. Like I don't.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I think a lot of people are like you, where you're basically like, I don't need medication, but you smoke weed.

Speaker 2 And like, I had an ex who like, I knew I needed to get out of the relationship and I was having panic attacks like next to him when I was sleeping in bed because my body was like, get out.

Speaker 2 And I told him, like, I'm going to go on Prozac.

Speaker 2 And he literally

Speaker 2 was going to an insane asylum. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he would wake up and take a hit of weed. Like, this man was so self-medicating with weed.
Yeah, that's me going on 10 milligrams of

Speaker 2 Paxil

Speaker 2 was crazy to you. I'm like, you haven't had a sober thought in years.
And like, and he's like,

Speaker 1 no, I completely get that. I think also like no one in my family has ever been on medicine.
So like also to be the first, also no one in my family has ever gone to therapy, you know?

Speaker 1 So like to be the first person to like go to therapy or like, oh, I might, I might need to take medicine.

Speaker 1 It is like kind of a scary position to be because, like, I'm sorry, but like the, the oldest daughter has a fucking lot on her shoulders. Like, I feel like

Speaker 1 it's a, it's just, you're the first to do a lot of things.

Speaker 2 I feel like you're breaking generational,

Speaker 2 yeah, you're breaking generational habits. Like, yeah.
I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 2 Thank you. But I also was telling like my shit because like when I saw it happening to you, I was like, I've fucking been there, and it's the most horrible, uncomfortable feeling.

Speaker 2 But, like, you could have honestly day one in Denver and been like, Hannah, I'm going home. Like, I'm done.

Speaker 2 But you, like, you're a fighter, and you're just like,

Speaker 1 I think what

Speaker 1 kept me from not doing that is I knew in my head if I didn't go out on stage for the Denver show, I would have never gone back on stage. I would have can't, I would have, it would have gotten too big.

Speaker 1 I would have felt too bad. And I would have said, cancel the whole tour.

Speaker 1 And I, and I know that about myself. So I was kind of like, it's kind of like when you're a little kid and it's like, you fall off the jungle gym.

Speaker 1 And if you never go back on the jungle gym, you will forever be afraid of the jungle gym. And so I was like, I have to go back.

Speaker 1 I have to go on stage right now, even though I'm going through this, or I never will again.

Speaker 1 And I think that scared me the most.

Speaker 2 And you know, your mind's playing tricks on you. So you will make that memory like it was the most horrible thing ever.
And you'll make it so much worse than it was.

Speaker 2 And I remember telling you, do you remember how I was like, I'm so happy you went on again?

Speaker 2 Because if you were to go to therapy about it, the biggest thing they do is exposure therapy, which means keep whatever your fear is, like. do it a little, keep doing it.

Speaker 2 And then you realize, oh my God, this is a made-up fear. So you basically exposure therapied yourself throughout this weekend.

Speaker 2 And by the end, you were like so much better because you were like, oh my God, wait.

Speaker 2 It's literally.

Speaker 1 That's like I was like, I'm fine. Like, I just need to like get home and rest now.
Because also,

Speaker 1 I feel like people don't talk about this enough. A panic attack to your like physical body is so fucking draining.

Speaker 1 Like, you're so emotionally and mentally drained already, but then physically you're hungover.

Speaker 1 You're like, I feel like I ran a marathon because my adrenaline got so fucking high that my body's now like coming down. Like, I literally felt like I was on a bender of drugs and I was coming down.

Speaker 2 Well, you had a trip. You had like an anxiety trip.

Speaker 1 I don't think the altitude helped either.

Speaker 1 I've, I'm going to be honest, I need to find someone who does astrology where it's like, oh, like, you should live in this part of the country, like, because of the stars.

Speaker 1 I think that Denver has something out for me. I've rarely, I've never really had a good time anytime I've ever been to Denver.

Speaker 1 I can't really, I don't like,

Speaker 1 I've been to to Aspen a handful of times. I know people are like, oh my God, it's like so chic and whatever.

Speaker 2 I can't handle it. I'm not even doing everything I said about Oklahoma City.
Fuck Denver. Fuck Denver.

Speaker 2 Tell them about the IVs. Tell them about the IVs.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 So when we first get to Denver, I'm like, oh, this is actually, I'm going to get an IV. This will help.
This is before I'm even feeling anxious. What?

Speaker 2 This will solve all my problems.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'll get some vitamins in me. It'll help with the altitude.
Like, I'll be better than ever.

Speaker 1 My anxiety started to hit in the middle of us getting IVs because I thought, wait a second, wait a second. This lady could be putting anything in this bag.
How do we really know she's even a nurse?

Speaker 1 What if she's putting fentanyl in there right now and I'm about to pass out and die?

Speaker 2 Like, my brain just took over.

Speaker 2 But then she looks at Paige and she's like, oh my God, I have to get a smaller needle because your veins are so tiny.

Speaker 2 And I'm immediately like, oh my god, this is gonna be her whole personality for the next year.

Speaker 1 It was my whole personality for the next for that whole weekend. I was like, I'm sorry, did you just say I have the skinniest veins in the state of Colorado? I'm a baby.
My veins are a baby.

Speaker 1 You have to get a baby needle.

Speaker 2 She's like, I've never seen something so tiny. Your vagina canal must be so narrow.

Speaker 2 And then I'm sitting there like, guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm like, oh no. Because she comes to me next, and obviously I have to ask her.
I'm like,

Speaker 2 how are my veins? How do they look? And she's like, healthy, normal, normal.

Speaker 1 They're body positive. They're, you know, they're normal for a girl.

Speaker 2 They're great. They're fucking great.
I'm just fucking fat shooting my veins.

Speaker 1 No, it was. And then we went to a cat cafe, which did actually calm me down a lot during that day.

Speaker 2 Well, you were low-key, like...

Speaker 2 Getting scared of the cat cafe because she was like, who are these like random street cats that are probably smelly and are gonna gonna

Speaker 2 attack me?

Speaker 1 I thought it was like, I thought it was gonna be like a restaurant. I don't know why in my head I was picturing it to be like a full restaurant and there were just like cats walking around.

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 2 I feel like that's a health code violation.

Speaker 2 It's a HIPAA somewhere.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a HIPAA has to be involved in there somewhere.

Speaker 1 But when you walk in, it's really just like a lap. It's like a, it's someone's living room, basically, and there's just cats.
And it was,

Speaker 1 I think, the best feeling ever was there was a cat there that they were like we've had

Speaker 1 we've had him for two weeks and like he has not come out of his little house and like has not let anyone pet him and I went over to him and he like yeah then I went over to him and I think we like telepathically we're like we're not okay

Speaker 1 And because he immediately poked his, he immediately poked his head out and was like, I would like you to pet me. And I was like, I'm, this is just as much for me as it is for you.

Speaker 2 Like,

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Speaker 2 So yeah, we did denver then we went to like the well i told paige i was like i think it's just happening because of the altitude because i'm just trying to shift your narrative you know i'm like it's outside denver we're gonna be fine we're going to san diego the number one thing you can do to help people that are having a panic attack is lie to them just lie right through your fucking teeth to them i just googled it it's the air actually like the air was with me too i was like am i like it was look the air is on ozempic it's so fucking thin just got i got my period that day too yeah it was a perfect storm.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it truly was.

Speaker 2 So I was like, dude, you are so sane. It's everyone else that's crazy.

Speaker 2 But then, so Paige is on her iPad. We're heading to San Diego.
She's like watching This Is Us. She's so happy in the back.
I'm like, great.

Speaker 2 Then I'm realizing we're like going an hour from San Diego, but it's through these like mountains and we're just going like higher and higher in the mountains. And I was like, oh no.
Oh no.

Speaker 2 No, we were high.

Speaker 2 I feel like

Speaker 1 I looked out the window at one point and we were on the edge of a cliff and I go, it's not for me right now. I'm going to go back to my iPad.

Speaker 2 I literally couldn't do it. I told Grace, I was like, do not let Paige get her eye off the iPad because she will be freaking out.

Speaker 1 It was a gorgeous scenic rap from the two seconds I looked, but I was like, if I one more second in this car, I'm jumping out the window off this.

Speaker 2 We were on the edge of a cliff and I was like, this is not good. This is not good.
And I had to get it straight.

Speaker 2 But then we got to LA. Jax DMs me, who, by the way, I just have to say, I'm a huge fan of Vanderpump Rules.

Speaker 2 Like day one, when I was actually going through my, like, the worst breakup of my life when I was like 26, I would just go home, watch Vanderpump, and watch them fight.

Speaker 2 And it just like cured my depression. So like, fuck Prozac, go on Vanderpump.
So I have a soft spot for all the Vanderpump people. And Jax, I've never met.

Speaker 2 And he DMs me and he's like, I love Giggly Squad. Like, can I come to the show tomorrow? Schwartz is coming.
And I was like, yes, like, come through

Speaker 2 and I like for kind of low-key forgot they were there because we were dealing with drama

Speaker 2 yeah no I was dying and then in the Q ⁇ A

Speaker 2 he grabs he gets the mic from Grace gave him the mic yeah

Speaker 2 and he's like everyone's like Jax is here and everyone starts freaking out it was so funny but immediately I was nervous for him because I was like What's what are we gonna say here?

Speaker 1 I was like I was so nervous. I was like the gigglers are not not, they're not to be managed.
Like, this is a free-for-all. Like,

Speaker 2 it's the gigglers are wound so tight by the end of the show. Like, they would like throw stones at a man if they could.
Like, they're just like in a

Speaker 1 I saw an Instagram story, and Jack says, like, hi, like, hi, Patriciana. Like, thanks for having us because we, like, gave them tickets.
Like, I knew what he meant.

Speaker 1 And some girl yelled, we didn't have you.

Speaker 2 Like, he was, I just was so scared. Like, he was, it was ballsy of him.

Speaker 2 And at one point I was like should we get Jax or Schwartz up for Izzy Trash and you were like honestly like I don't think that's a good idea like I didn't think it was I didn't think it was the smartest idea to give we already give like a man too much attention by bringing them up on stage I don't think I didn't want to do anything more to piss the gigglers off and I was not in the mental state to even yeah we were not mentally so when he took the mic I was like oh no oh no and then he like introduces Schwartz so he was like Schwartz is opener and I I was like, okay, what's happening?

Speaker 2 Schwartz gets the mic. And then I immediately am trying to like make sure everyone's happy.
So I'm like, Schwartz, do you remember like seven years ago when we filmed Summerhouse together? He says no.

Speaker 2 He goes, no.

Speaker 1 And then he tagged, he tagged the wrong Hannah. He tagged Hannah Ann from The Bachelorette.
I didn't even notice it until he

Speaker 2 dms me. Because he didn't tag me.
But then he DM'd me after and goes, sorry, I tagged the wrong Hannah.

Speaker 2 But anyway, he says no and i was like oh god um and then he goes

Speaker 2 are we trash and honestly that was

Speaker 2 the crowd went wild the crowd went wild that was the sweetest most iconic like wild nailed it and shout out to the boys yeah it was so nice of them to come yeah it truly at the end of the day was nice Do you remember our first season?

Speaker 2 Was it our first season? I remember it was our first season. We're like,

Speaker 2 back then, at that time in Summer House, when you were a new cast member, like you didn't really count. Like, people didn't really talk to you.
No one would have

Speaker 2 we weren't even allowed to be on Watch What Happens Live our first season. We were bartenders.

Speaker 2 So, like, when Vanderpump came in, like, we literally were like, We're not going to talk to them.

Speaker 1 Like, they were like, I couldn't have been more starstruck by Stasi.

Speaker 2 I didn't make eye contact with Stasi. I was like, I do not want to at any time make Stasi feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, like, and shout out to Stasi.

Speaker 1 She's so nice. She was a three-time

Speaker 2 bestseller. Um, Incredible.
But Schwartz came in, and I remember now, he came in with, like, he was having a butthole problem.

Speaker 1 Because him and Katie had just come back from Mexico. They had all just come from Mexico, I think, from a cash trip.

Speaker 2 And we were so excited to see them. He went to the hospital.
They were like, Tom went to the hospital. And we're like, what happened? They were like, his butthole ripped.

Speaker 2 And I'm saying that because it was on TV. It wasn't like a secret.

Speaker 1 And me and Hannah are looking at each other like, what did they do?

Speaker 1 There's a lot of jokes to be made here, and we feel like we're not taking advantage of it.

Speaker 2 And it's not appropriate. We were not allowed to start.
That's, I think, really how Giggly Squads started.

Speaker 2 We would say all the funny stuff in the bathroom alone, and then come out and be like, yes.

Speaker 1 No, Giggly Squads started truly from being in awkward situations together and no one making the jokes that needed to be made to diffuse the situation.

Speaker 1 And we were like, we're going to take it to the podcast. We literally had a joke.

Speaker 2 My first season, we had a joke how one of the producers, they would like tell you like who they wanted in the scene. So sometimes, like, I'll just be hanging around.

Speaker 2 They'd be like, Hannah, could you actually, could you go downstairs and go under the couch?

Speaker 2 Like, they'd always be like, Hannah, could you not? Like, I remember once someone was crying, and I was consoling them, and they were like, Hannah, could you, could you just stop?

Speaker 2 Could you actually get out?

Speaker 1 Right, you're gonna get with just the two of them.

Speaker 2 Can you open the door and just keep walking into the highway? So then we kept joking with them. Like, they'd be like, Hannah, and I'm like, Should I jump off a bridge? Is that what I should do?

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 1 we've really grown and learned from no we've had so many inside jokes and like

Speaker 1 behind the scenes just ridiculousness that

Speaker 2 i don't even know i did i did make a mistake in that i've i don't know if i want to say it out loud but i will i've become a worm comedian and i did it to myself

Speaker 2 everyone was like slapstick comedian everyone is that what it is literally the people who are in charge were like we don't understand why you have to do the worm at the beginning of your Netflix special.

Speaker 2 And I was like, you clearly don't understand me. You don't support women in the arts.
You've never seen something like this before. And I was like, changing the game.
I'm just cast.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But then the gigglers keep chanting to do the worm. And I have, I will succumb to peer pressure for way less than 3,000 girls yelling my name.
Right.

Speaker 2 So the first night I'm wearing a full like bubble skirt.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I go, okay, let's do it. The second I do the worm, the skirt goes over my head.

Speaker 1 I mean, what else was it going to do?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I was like hoping that it wouldn't.
And then I immediately was like, I'm Addison Rey and Diet Pepsi. And I start like flashing the crowd with, also, guys, I'm wearing full

Speaker 2 white Amazon granny panties. Like people, I think a guy puked in the front.
Like he was like, what is this?

Speaker 2 You were like already having a pan attack, so you didn't even notice that my ass came out.

Speaker 1 I didn't notice that your ass came out until I saw a video from like the other angle of like what the crowd saw.

Speaker 2 You didn't even know you were on stage.

Speaker 2 And then the one of the other shows, a girl raises her hand. She's like, can I do the worm with you on stage? So I was like, obviously.
So good. So good.

Speaker 2 Somehow we do it perfectly synchronized like dolphins.

Speaker 1 No, you were literally Olympic like synchronized swimmers. It was nuts.

Speaker 2 So I pulled my lower back and tore my ACL, but like the show must go on.

Speaker 1 No, the show must go on. And

Speaker 1 oh my God, I just like, I'm so thankful for the gigglers.

Speaker 1 And so, like, if you guys have anxiety, like, just listen to my dad, like, literally, just keep going because the worst thing you can do is let it win and like succumb to it and not

Speaker 1 do what you're meant to do. And I think that's, like, really powerful.

Speaker 2 Also, now that it's happened, once you can start realizing, like, oh, this is my anxiety, which isn't me.

Speaker 2 Like, when I was younger, I literally would get like a scary thought, and I'd be like, This is true.

Speaker 2 Like, the thought came to me for a reason, and now I have to address it and give it energy and listen. Where now you hear a thought, and you go, You stupid bitch, can you please? Can we not right now?

Speaker 1 And also, I just want to say one thing: like, obviously, I was taking medicine that like was not prescribed for me, like, because I had to do it. I was like raw dogging it.

Speaker 1 I am obviously gonna go to like a legitimate doctor, get like a prescription for myself of like what I could possibly need.

Speaker 1 And I think it's like so important because a perfect example is I took half a Xanax at one point because I didn't have a beta blocker and it was not for me.

Speaker 1 And so like, I think even knowing certain things like that is really important too, because

Speaker 1 yeah, you can get fucked up and your thoughts can get really scary. Like even when I had like surgery on my ovaries, I think I was on like oxys for like pain management.
I did not like them at all.

Speaker 1 They made me super emotional. I had the craziest, weirdest, intrusive thoughts.
Like I did not like it. And the same with Xanax.
Like I, it just was not for me.

Speaker 1 So if you are like dealing with anxiety, it's really important for like you to find something that works for your body because it's definitely not one fits all at all.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and we're not literally telling everyone to get off their birth control and go on SSRIs. Like, that's not what we're saying.
But

Speaker 2 for me, like, I would go on them when I was in like an intense crazy time and then I would get off them but I do have to say for anyone who's scared of it like changing your personality for me I'm on like a little bit of prozac and it just like quiets the voices that aren't yours like I'm actually more myself um but it's also like you can get off of them like you have to get off slowly but like

Speaker 2 you find what's right for you yeah um and it's definitely a journey and a process and I'm definitely gonna be starting it. You have to be also like eating eating better.

Speaker 2 Like, you can't just, you have to be getting sunlight. You have to be talking to therapist.

Speaker 1 But that's the other thing, like being on tour, like it's not healthy. It's so rewarding, but it's not the healthiest thing for you, like your body.

Speaker 1 Like, we're on a plane every single day, which is like already dehydrating you. We get into a hotel.
They have the grossest food ever.

Speaker 1 Like, it's very, like, we try and get as many Caesar salads as we can, but like, it's hard. And then with anxiety, like, the type of anxiety that I have, like I lose all my appetite.

Speaker 1 Like I have to force myself to like have a piece of toast because I literally can't stomach it because I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Speaker 2 So, but also, like, when you go on stage and you're calm, like, you're gonna be so proud of yourself and feel so strong. And, like,

Speaker 2 it's just, it's, it just enhances me.

Speaker 1 I'm proud of myself after LA, like to doing two shows and then, like, going back to my hotel room. I was like so dizzy, but I was like, you did it.

Speaker 2 I saw this guy on Instagram and he was saying how like

Speaker 2 empathic people, empaths, are

Speaker 2 like good at performing because we can read a room really well, but that's why sometimes when we're around too many people, we take in too much. But then I was thinking and I was like, is it that?

Speaker 2 Or do you just always

Speaker 2 think people are judging you and you think you know how everyone's feeling around you?

Speaker 1 No, I think it's an inherent like inner, like you always, well, here's the other thing. Everyone is staring at us because we are up on stage.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, you do feel like, oh my god, there's 3,000 people looking at me. I hope that each,

Speaker 1 every

Speaker 1 person in there is having a good time and is happy and likes it. And that's just that, well, that just could never happen.
Like, there's going to be at least a couple people like

Speaker 2 everyone loves it.

Speaker 2 But that's

Speaker 2 definitely a thought.

Speaker 1 No, and that's good. And I need to more because,

Speaker 1 yeah, like you do feel judged.

Speaker 2 You can't control every, and the only thing you can control is that you're having fun. And I always say, people don't remember what you said.
They remember how you made them feel.

Speaker 2 Like, people aren't leaving. Some of them will leave Giggly Squad and be like, that line was so good.
But overall, they're just like, I love the fucking energy of Gigly Squad.

Speaker 2 And you know, sometimes we do bring bad energy to the function.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 2 showed up to the function and I said, this is the energy I'm bringing.

Speaker 2 But we have to do it.

Speaker 1 My mom literally used, my mom literally used voiced rest today on the phone. I like told her I had to do something this week, and she goes, Just, you know what?

Speaker 1 Say you're on voice rest that you literally can't go. And I was like, Okay, that is now a real trend.

Speaker 2 Just know that whatever energy you bring to the function is not forever.

Speaker 2 No, we'd be like being the Uber and Paige is like dry heaving, and I'd be like, So, how? What's the most popular restaurant around here?

Speaker 2 To the Uber driver.

Speaker 1 No, you were being so normal in so many situations and I was like.

Speaker 2 I was like, that's just, she just has a niche in her throat. I was like, do I have a will? I need a will because I'm not going to make it much longer.

Speaker 2 You thought you had like a cancerous like.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought I had a cancerous tumor on the back of my neck.

Speaker 2 You didn't?

Speaker 2 That's when I was like, I feel like something, that was a warning.

Speaker 1 Something might be amiss. That was the first thing.
I was like, I think I have a tumor on the back of my neck, but I'm just going to ride it out and see what happens.

Speaker 2 I go, I feel like if you had a cancerous tumor in the back of your neck, you would,

Speaker 2 I feel like you would know by now. You're like, I'm pretty sure it's your spine, but like, we'll definitely get that checked out at some point.

Speaker 2 Anyway, guys, thank you so much for giggling with us this week. I think it's important for us to have a full mental health episode every couple months when one of us has

Speaker 2 a mental breakdown.

Speaker 2 And one thing is we will always be honest with you guys. We will never come on here talking that fake shit, being like, oh my God, like life is so crazy.

Speaker 1 Life is so crazy. No, yeah, like I want to die every second.

Speaker 1 And just get a cat. Like true.
The only advice I can give is get a cat.

Speaker 2 And I do have to say this was therapeutic because as gigglers, we will find the funny in everything because you can't take life too seriously now or you'll not make it. So,

Speaker 2 thank you for giggling. We love you guys and get tickets to our show when it went.

Speaker 1 Free beta bloggers at the door

Speaker 2 to a giggler squad show because honestly, we all can have panic attacks together. That's what club giggling is.

Speaker 1 It's not like other clubs. There is no cocaine.
There is no Molly's. There is only Prozac, Xana,

Speaker 2 you can leave at any time. You can take a nap.

Speaker 1 If you're overstimulated, you get yourself right out of there.

Speaker 2 It is a safe space for the gigglers. We love you guys.
Have an amazing week. Bye.
Bye.

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