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Giggling about breakups, broad shoulders, and trampolines

Giggling about breakups, broad shoulders, and trampolines

August 20, 2024 58m

Hannah is having an identity crisis and Paige is horrified by the idea of fart walks


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Full Transcript

If you're anything like us, you love attention. And my favorite way to get all eyes on me is with next level shiny glossy hair.
Which is why we're so excited to tell y'all about the new Lamellar Gloss Collection from the girlies at Tresme. And Gigglers, we've got you too, because Tresme partnered with us to bring you 1-800-GLOSS, a special bonus episode of Giggly Squad, where Hannah and I give advice on all things hair and giving gloss.
Check out the episode and grab the Lamellar Gloss Collection today because I'm officially declaring this spring gloss season. As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection.
Just fabulous. It's just so freaking adorable.
Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for

spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them What's up, Gigglers?

Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hello, my demure gigglers. No, you know what's so funny is that like now trends last a day.
No's it's kind of sad because some shit is really good and you're like this should have lasted a year and then some stuff is so stupid and you're like no everything's pretty good all the trends are pretty good no it's just it's just crazy like now i feel you, it's really nuts that happened to me the other day.

I described someone as being millennial.

I was like, they're just so millennial.

You've turned on your own.

The call is coming from inside the house.

I literally, I've had seven Gen Z gigglers being like, you don't give millennial.

And all of a sudden I'm like, ew, millennials.

No, we think we're above millennial. And like, we should be checked into a facility because that's not okay i will i identify as gen z and i came for the gen z's yesterday on instagram did you see well no what did you do i had a wild post on instagram yesterday so i've been trying to be quiet and demure on instagram since netflix special because i was like let's calm down like you've been in everyone's face promoting i'm like let's try to be more page like just disappear no i haven't posted and then last night i was posting about shout out radio city um no shout out the new york i love how we've changed subjects 80 times in one sentence we're having really bad adhd today the new york gigglers were like hey how y'all doing like why don't you have a show for us yet and i'm like girls how dare you think that we forgot about you we just we're dealing with some admin it's actually so hard to get a new york city venue you have to book it like 42 months in advance no it's people talk about like trying to book something for their wedding this is harder literally i'm like this is why i can't get married i have a tour to book no and you everything's always booked so you have to like fight with other people to like book whatever anyway long story short radio city is on sale pre-sale code giggly it's in january let's fucking go it's gonna be insane um i think when you get it, pre-sale, code Giggly.
It's in January.

Let's fucking go.

It's going to be insane.

I think we need to get in. No, I'm so excited.

I literally feel like a Rockette.

Should we get the Rockettes to come?

I mean, if they're not busy, they might be having an off night.

True.

They're also, yeah, they're like women in STEM.

They're very busy and flexible.

I'd like a documentary on them next. Oh, actually so good that's so true it's it's basically northern Dallas cowboy cheerleaders yeah it's the northeast version and I feel like it would be kind of crazy because also I always wondered did the Rockettes beef with um the ballerinas like that's what i want to know new york city ballet also not to make it negative but apparently all their bodies have to be the same which how the fuck do you even do that like they have to be the same height and like and they all have to be yeah and then like their legs probably have to be the same length you know the only reason i can't be a rock head is because i have a long torso they're like that torso ratio is fucked up get out of here i also can't touch my toes no i was just gonna say you're literally the least flexible person i've ever met they're gumby on that stage i can't even touch my shin no that's kind of crazy have you always been like that yeah and my brother could palm the floor without stretching i can't yeah men being flexible is like not okay no it's definite i feel like we've spoken about this like who was the guy that did the splits and i just wait that was um ariana's boyfriend yeah i want them to like literally have to go to the chiropractor because they're so unflexible um so anyway i'm posting about radio city and i go to the fonts and like not to brag because i feel like i was a little late to it i got the new instagram fonts which no one wants no one wants an update wait a minuto everyone's like i want the update and then you get it and everyone freaks out and i um i know there's real issues going on in the world but i i projected them all into the fact that there's no instagram font that i feel like fits me why can i not tell if i have the new ones or not oh yeah i think i do do all of them seem insane do all of them seem like someone took ecstasy and was like not i don't know if i can't tell if i have the update or not honestly you were too focused on outfits you don't care about font i'm very fixated on font because the font affects how people read what you say so true so like there's one that I the kind of thin that I think is creepy and if you say something like cute outfit today it reads as like cute outfit today yes no anything that looks like crayons I'm like that's for children yeah I'm like that's a little creepy and then they have a full script one so then i was like gen z legit can't read script and i didn't the gen z's got actually grace commented that's how you know she was offended she's offended i said gen z's can't read script which they can't that's just a fact i thought that was a fact yeah they don't they didn't learn it they didn't have like a writing class yeah they didn't have like cursive yeah so anyway um then there's like the true crime one which is like the typewriter font which looks like about to announce a murder yeah it's very it's very millennial everyone stay safe literally i've been filming at the mouth all week and i've been bringing it no i've been trying to bring it up to anyone you know it's crazy it's not really on my algorithm if you don't know what we're talking about molly may and tom fury broke up and here's why it was so significant to me oh my god can i stop getting emails here's why it was so significant to me when i love when you're like this is why it's about me that season of love island saved our lives explain when that when me and hannah really first started getting into love island we were filming House Season 5, which was the end COVID season.
The beginning of the end, which was probably the scariest summer of our lives. No, it was an insane asylum.
Like I actually like called my mom at one point was like, I think we're all having nervous breakdowns. Like I want to pull my hair out't know what that means i quit but anyway that season of love island like saved our lives because we sat there and watched the full season in like three days it was actually so weird and should be it was so meta because when we were not filming summer house we would go in our bed and just binge love island to pretend we weren't filming summer house and they'd be like you have to go to the kitchen i was like don't want to fight with someone right now i'm trying to see molly may and tommy make out the hot tub yeah i'm like molly may just walked in with red lipstick on what what do you want me to do did you know molly may before love island i didn't but i but she was famous already in the uk like she was already already an, like an influencer.
But it was, I didn't know anything about anyone famous in the UK until I like really got deep into Love Island. So, but right when she like appeared on the screen, you know how people just have, you can't teach it.
It's just this energy where you're like, I'm obsessed with them. And she also was like kind.
I feel like i think she was so sweet yeah she was so sweet and she was so pretty and she was just cute and you like wanted to be her because it's easy to villainize the new girl that comes on being like who wants to be with me all you girls don't know what's coming wait hannah can we make a show that's like like a sitcom about like love island but it's like we hire actors but like people watching think it's like real people and we're like your accent's like not good enough like wait wouldn't that be such a funny show like we're the producers and we're cut. Like, you need to have a thicker accent.
That's funny. That's funny.
Okay, put that on the docket. Wait, but put that on the docket.
Before you even give your hot take that you've been, like, foaming at the mouth to give, can I give a hot take? Yeah. This is the least surprising breakup I've ever heard.
I feel nothing. That's so insensitive of you.'m what made you think this was gonna work out because he's so dumb that like I literally thought I was like he can't even get across the street without her like where's he going that's the thing she deserves better when I first heard it I was dare I say gutted for her because I was like because the way it happened i was like oh she found out some shit and was like nope i'm putting it on instagram to like make you know i'm serious we're done and so like every girl i feel like has felt that deep pit in their stomach where something happens and you're like and now i have to throw up like I'm you think she posted it before he posted anything to be like don't try to fucking get me back like it's in the public now like you're fucking done yeah that's powerful serious I am I like that so I was like very proud of her in that but when then when I was thinking about it he's weird like he didn't want their kid to go to school like he's weird she deserves someone so much cooler and so I'm actually so happy that they're broken up and I'm not saying he's bad because I don't know him but again like the way he looks you just know he's been treated differently he has those like wide-ass shoulders like people immediately are like you're good like you're no We need to bring more awareness to men that have wide ass shoulders and don't trust them.
Don't trust a wide shoulder man. They have a broad, a broad shoulder.
Keep an eye out. I feel like men with broad shoulders don't know how to eat you out.
I feel like a guy with narrow shoulders. He's going down there.
He's putting his little narrow shoulders up inside your pussy. Small, very small tidbit that like you got to look out for when someone's like going down on you.
If their whole body isn't on the bed, I'm not into it. You're saying if he looks like he's going to receive doggy.

Yes.

I have to remove myself from the situation.

Wow.

We just went from zero to 100 so quick.

Wait.

Will you say anything to him?

Will you be like, hey, can you like.

I try and move so that he has to move because I'm like, I can't look at you.

Do you want more room?

See, I have a long torso, so I don't know if any guy has enough room to lay down fully. My torso hits the end of the bed.
He's on the floor. You have to be backed up.
The last thing I want to say about Tommy Fury and Molly Mae, they're 25. They have a whole life to live.
She could get engaged again and divorced before she even meets her soulmate they're like fine what's with reality shows being obsessed with people getting engaged obsessed obsessed and it's like that is above your pay grade like that's when paperwork gets if there's admin involved, I'm like, maybe we should take a second look.

Like I have to get someone appointed by the court.

Also, they treat it like a storyline where like if these people get engaged or married,

it's like a bow and like then they're untouchable and like everything's perfect.

And I'm like, this is the beginning of a nightmare the beginning of a horror film and to be and also like because love island and some of the other ones like they're getting people and they're fucking young they're signing on to do a reality show because they don't because they're young and they're like experiencing things and they don't really know and so like to expect expect them to get engaged and stay together forever, it's like. Brainwashed at the end.
Like, you know, have you ever watched Bachelor in Paradise? No, that's the thing that's crazy. Like with all the Love Island people coming out and being like the internet is crazy and the edits are crazy.
It's like, yeah. I do have to say something and I wasn't going to lean into this, but there's a crazy chicks in the office interview with Leah where they it's like yeah I do have to say something and I wasn't gonna lean into this but there's a crazy chicks in the office interview with Leah where they it's the first interview out of the house and and they're basically like Queen Leah and she was like what do you mean they're like you're the star and she's like what do you mean and it was like a perfect example of like when you're filming you cannot tell that someone is like such a hero.
Like it's way more. And everyone's saying shit that you're like, oh, that could be bad.
Oh, that could be bad. I don't love that.
And she was like, what? And they're like, why are you shocked? And she's like, what are you talking about? Because the producers were also probably like if people are going to like you if you like say this i also think back to the marriage thing like bachelor in paradise at the end they have to decide if they want to leave the island with the person and there's always one couple that succumbs to the pressure of them being like you guys everyone loves you if you propose right now you're going to be the biggest couple in america and they're just like fuck it let's go and then they're oh that's so scary no i know um because also i feel like getting engaged look obviously things happen and people get divorced but like getting engaged i don't want to feel it too many times you know okay don't come for j-lo like that No, I don't want to be like this again okay j-lo's had a hard enough year you don't have to come for her like that is j-lo with the first time to be the only time has anyone checked on them i don't believe so i don't believe so at all i will say we haven't like touched on any of the blake lively stuff because I just feel like it's so overdone. It's so like, OK, we get it.
Everyone hates everyone. Everyone sucks.
Like, here's the thing. If you would listen to Giggly Squad from the beginning, we would have told you this.
Like, look at this kitty. Like, Daphne's joined.
Daphne's looking at me. Yes, it's your godmother, Daphne.
It's your godmother. I think about you every day, Daphne's joined Daphne's looking at me yes it's your godmother Daphne it's your godmother I think about you every day Daphne like the media will never let like a woman be too on top for too long but I will say I started watching Jane the Virgin because I didn't know who Justin Baldoni was until all of this yeah I don't know I didn't know how everyone knew who he was yeah I'm obsessed with Jane the Virgin now oh that's one of those shows that everyone loved that I didn't get into me neither because we're sluts I was like this none of this could be for me um someone said that I looked like Ray Gunn the breakdancer yesterday.
Stuff. The Australian? Yeah, that really made me laugh.
For a good three minutes, I was like, that's hilarious. We didn't talk about Ray Gunn.
We didn't. We didn't talk about the breakdancing of it all.
I do support women in the arts. Here's the thing.
We do support women in the arts here's the thing we do support women in the arts but we're not blind and we have brains on us so we're not just blindly supporting all women in the arts because some of them are insane so apparently she like studies the culture of breakdancing i think she like is obsessed with it well i saw all these people saying that like she stopped other people from being able to go to the Olympics who were like way more qualified. And here's the other thing.
When I was watching the breakdancing, I was like, I've seen better breakdancing on the subway. Like I was like, I live in New York City, which I would think is the capital of the breakdancing world.
I'm like at any given moment, I could go on the corner and see seven people better than you like this is why easily and we would still like not be impressed yeah no literally have you ever gone to time square once in your life elmo can break it the fuck down they're doing insane things and they're like they're tying themselves up and breakdancing and getting out of like a belt, a belted situation. My thing is like, I want to know what the qualifications to like get a sport into the Olympics are.
I think that's the thing. It was definitely hard.
And I think they took it away after that. Like it got so much bad press.
But if breakdancing was getting that much, that many like eyes on it to be like, oh, maybe this should be an olympic sport i feel like have you ever watched any dance team on tiktok oh my god it's incredible why would dance teams not be an olympic sport like those people are insane i literally fall asleep to like world dance team tournaments yeah who's making these decisions i think it is the country like us if we were in office so like i just think it's the country you know like it's not us i'm calling it i think pickleball is the next olympic sport yeah or like handball which i everyone's been asking hannah what do you think about pickleball i support it but i haven't played it yet because i'm really afraid that i'm gonna get the bug and then i'm gonna want to go pro and i'm gonna quit all my jobs and then just like be on tour as a pickleball crazy professional it's literally why you've never tried cocaine it's the same reason on why you've never tried cocaine you get me you would get obsessed with that you'd have to be the best drug addict for a friend wait i'm so scared of myself i'm so scared here's the thing here's the thing with pickleball you would be so fucking good it would actually be frightening no i know and like you would that it's why you you haven't tried it you don't want to beat out everyone else you're actually extremely humble and then i have my cute friends who are like hey do you want to play pickleball with me this sunday and i go do you want to have a massacre do you want to have a bloody massacre in your sweet country club? Can I just say? I don't have mercy. It's not in my gut.
I went to see Hannah on a non-Giggly Squad day, like a real friend day. And there was a moment where I was like, we would have been such good friends as little girls.
Oh're making me cry. There was a moment where Hannah goes, do you want to watch me play tennis? And I was like, OK.
And she literally ran, put her sneakers on and I grabbed my blankie, like sit on the chair to watch her play tennis. And I was like in my head I was like oh my god we would have vibed so hard as little girls because I wanted to like sit and like play with something and you would have been like doing something active but we would have still like been together and vibing on our own.
I'm that kid who's like you want to see see me do this flip? And then I just like trip on myself and you're like, okay. Yeah, that's so, you're so good.
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Not available in all states. Also, people are mad at me because I made hot dog pasta the other day.
And I'm one of those people, I think. Look, some nights are hard.
Some nights are harder than others. Nana's somewhere.
Nana's upset. Well, Rayo's sent me a bunch of pasta.
I saw that huge box in your foyer. In my foyer, not to brag.
So I was like, Daz, do you want a home-cooked meal tonight? This is how you get out of home-c make them hot dog pasta and they'll never ask you to cook so were you just having like a side hot dog and you're like what if i just i'm gonna be honest i've done this many times before it's kind of like it's like sausage it's a little salty i have to say for the pasta the pasta. It's also disgusting.
That's the thing. I like hot dogs.
I like pasta. It's a protein.
Is there even protein in hot dogs? Your Nana is probably beside herself. She comments on all my stuff.
The silence was deafening on that. I think she actually, she was like, I'm not processing this she was like i've i've been alive for too long i i shouldn't have seen this i wasn't ready but i also just love seeing people's reactions also do you know that hot girl walks are over stop well they've been replaced with what fart walks no yes no yes the pr pr the farting pr the ibs pr is doing well oh what why is it's like good for your digestive system yeah so basically after you eat you go for a walk and just like let it let it fly so it's not only polite to your guests because that's insane because after i eat i have to lay down apparently it's good for your digestion um okay so what do you do it you're doing that with your boyfriend that's disgusting that's called intimacy page no i've never farted in front of a boyfriend ever and i really i really don't you've never accidentally like laughed too hard and it came out maybe once and do you own it or do you like were you like that was the chair no because i would never i honestly wouldn't i don't even know that's probably definitely happened but i probably blacked it out because i know i've never like like maybe he caught on but i never said anything like no i've never and you have that quick decision you have to make of if you go oops or if you go never you don't address it or if you blame something it's a split second decision you have to make it's game time decision i hate that we're talking about this because I feel like now it's going to happen to me.

Oh, no.

I didn't mean to manifest that for you.

No, you did this to me.

I do have to say, we talk about like our bodies and all this stuff, but like people don't

talk about the farting and pooping enough.

And Nana hates when I talk about it.

But like, do you ever have such good of a poop you want to tell someone?

Never.

Never.

That's crazy

because this morning i almost texted you and i was like has your soul ever left your body

then you almost feel like you want to congratulate yourself you're like that was good here's the

thing i will say after like being away for a weekend or like being away on a trip when i come

home i think because i'm such an anxious person like physically my body really does like hold on

And when I come home, I think because I'm such an anxious person, like physically my body really does like hold on to so much. So like even if I didn't have to go to the bathroom, when I'm like pulling up in the Uber to my apartment, I feel like my body's like, we're home.
Like, thank God we've been literally holding everything in for 13 days. We didn't know if were ever coming back like the inside of my body is so dramatic i'm like guys calm the fuck down we're gonna come home but like subconsciously i'm like are we ever going home no it's like when you're about to go home with a guy to like hook up the first time that's how i feel when it's been like a long night out and you're about to poop you're like we're about to get back it's about to get crazy i haven't felt that sensation in years years i like thinking about how i used to like run to a starbucks across the street because i like refuse to go to the bathroom at like a guy's house yeah i was like obsessed with my breath like i had like breath bad breath phobia where i was like the whole time i'd be like you can't kiss me right now i just ate this or he can't kiss me right now i'm like a little bit thirsty and then it's like weird to put gum in your mouth like a fucking second mine would be like we just like smoked a cig at the club like we can't make out me i'm like i just had chicken parmesan like i think there was garlic in that so i would be obsessed like i wouldn't kiss the guy if i wasn't like 100 sure we're like i don't i feel like i put too much weight on that yeah i was like obsessed with the fact he might be like no i don't like her breath yeah no there's like different things that like now i don't even like think about.
No, you're like, I should consider that every now and then. No, I do always think about like, okay, if I was single right now, I'd be the worst.
I'd be like, I don't care about you. Like, I'll do this on my own.
Goodbye. I would be just so different than what I was used to being.
You mean changing everything for a man? Literally changing everything and like going clubbing. Like I don't think I would club again.

No.

That would be so scary.

Clubbing is violence.

No, it incites violence.

It truly does.

It does.

Speaking of violence, I had a crazy purchase the other day. And I briefly talked about it on burner phone but i want your perspective i bought a trampoline have you seen these videos of these girls jumping up and down on a trampoline being like it's so good like a personal size yes like a little one they're like it's so good for your lymphatic drainage which i still don't know if it's real and they're like it just helps with your digestion it's a great workout and i'll is it a great workout i'll do anything to not jog like anything besides jogging i'm like sign me up i do some research they call it rebounding so it's not like jumping on a trampoline it's called rebounding and cool girls in new york city are doing it there's like a place called ness n-e-s-s where like cool girls bop on trampolines which so i bought it this feels very 1950s and i'm like almost kind of here for it i know and des is like what the fuck is a trampoline outside and i was like it's my workout so i i did it for like four seconds and immediately i had to shit myself no way it's like taking a baby and shaking a baby so i want to get into it but i just haven't been in the right digestion place it's like shaking a fucking diet coke and being like oh no waiting for you to get into the right digestion place though could take years no it could be literally the next like mercury needs to be in retrograde so I'm but I just want to let people know rebounding is a thing i haven't been able to do it yet but i'll keep people posted on my rebounds i hope i get this in my algorithm now because i've never even i've never even thought about it i just also hope that like people don't hurt themselves because it's not a big one you're just like jumping then they're like raise your leg raise your leg turn raise your leg so i'm gonna try it okay but i also could have just wasted four hundred dollars four hundred dollars hannah for a personal tripoli well i had to make sure it wasn't gonna break it was like 350 on amazon literally in my head i was like oh it's like a hundred bucks she got it on like i don have been 350 i'll put it in the newsletter my thing is i will buy stuff that i think will make me a better person and not use it and think that there's some kind of like trickle-down effects like i'll i'll buy like mental health books and not read it but be like but i have these books so i'm better i literally just did that and i bought a prayer journal i was like i need to like are you becoming a born again what the fuck is going on over there well does is making fun of me because in our house i have a book that just says how to set boundaries and he's like this is in the middle i'm like yeah people need to work on their boundaries.

He's like, can you not put your weird self-help books in the middle of the living room?

Wait, that's actually like a really funny, quirky thing that I think more people should do.

Just have like the weirdest book titles like in their home.

What a conversation starter.

Like imagine having like, imagine coming home to your husband and just putting a book in the bookshelf that said divorce for dummies how did that get there hilarious my favorite though is like the millennial book trend that everyone had to put like fuck in the title it's like how to be a fucking girl boss fuck you bitch no okay well actually that's funny that you bring that up because I have two like big bookshelves in my bedroom and I've been trying to like decorate them and I was like wait is I want like I want a like row of books but I want them to be all the same color so like I don't give a shit what the books are but they need to be all the same color yeah so one side i have they're like all blue and on the other side they're all white and so they came in and i like put them up and then i was like is this so fucking millennial i was like is this so millennial and weird i need to take a picture and put it in the newsletter because i don't know if it looks cool or if it looks horrible did you run it by grace i didn't i was too scared i think that's your answer if you're too scared to ask grace it's millennial i do think no that's true like a stereotypical um coffee table book could be millennial like too thick of one yeah fuck i do think our giggly squad book is a perfect one though no it is perfect because it is so freaking cute imagine if we had a handbook for like giggly squad employees and one of the things was like and if you have to ask grace it's's a no. Oh, God.

I want to talk personal style for a second.

Okay.

I think I know how I want to describe my style.

In three words.

Actually, it is three words, but I just found an aesthetic on TikTok.

Okay.

Tomboy femme Berlin. That's what i want to be for fall okay okay you're gonna need a trench coat i need this thing though i don't wear sambas you don't have to wear sambas are sambas for people with flat feet because i just feel like they're not why would i wear a samba when i could wear something more comfortable they're so flat to me like they're it's like they're like a fucking ballet flat i have like pink and blue like platform sambas that are like cute are they comfortable i think so you don't you don't even process comfortability when it comes to fashion you don't even know when it comes to a shoe i don't know the second i put

it on i'm like could i run in this no i'm like could i jog the track i should should i go on a i should think of that more often because like we do live in new york city and it's like i probably should run more times like when someone's chasing me um but if something is uncomfortable, but it looks really good, I'll suck it up. Yeah.
But I don't like to be uncomfortable. Yeah.
But like if I have to be for a specific event, I will be. Have you thought of your three words to describe your style? I feel like you've been waiting for someone to ask you that like my whole life um i actually don't know what would describe my style i would say i'm a little bit of a juxtaposition because i would say that i do like a very classic look but also i love a fucking trend you do and i do have something to say about trends someone had a good quote about like you can't just keep buying trends whenever they come out like capitalism can't keep winning like that it's more like yeah use the trend to influence your personal style like just take from the trend what what is good with your style? Well, a lot of times, like when I do Amazon lives and we talk about like trends, because I do like think it's fun to try them.
A lot of the trends, like you already have in your closet that you could like, like, okay. So like one of the trends for fall is like, like obviously big fall coats and like statement coats, like voluminous, like big sleeved coats, but also shawls.
So like wrapping your own scarf, like in a different way where it looks like it's like wrapped in the front and like the ends are in the back. And you don't have to go out and buy a coat that's like has a built-in shawl

like you can do it at home and like there you've like done the trend one time and you didn't buy a whole new coat with a shawl we just saved like 150 dollars no literally girl math it's like a lot of trends like i feel like people do have at home like and also like now it's like a ox blood is More in style

Than like actual

Red

Oxblood

The color

Is that what

They chose to call it

Jeez have at home like and also like now it's like a ox blood is more in style than like actual red ox blood is that what they chose to call it jesus christ pita somewhere being like i'm sorry pita's like we just stopped fighting with pete davidson now we have to come for the whole fashion community ox blood it's chose violence oh my god well but it's like a deeper red but like you can still wear the red cardigan that you bought last fall and like still be achieving the same look are you going to go through your clothes and like donate a shit ton it's so funny hannah because that's on my to-do list i love a list i we should talk about our list more often i have like a master's list It's called my long to-do list masters that's so important my master's to-do list those are like my long to-do list things like that i could i'd like to get done within the year okay okay then i have my everyday to-do list currently on my everyday to-do, to clean out my closet is tomorrow night.

Wow.

But it's always getting pushed.

Actually, my life is run by a note that says shit I need to do.

And the top is like things I should do that day.

And then I have like ones at the bottom of other things.

It's funny.

I wrote OBGYN.

When is the next time?

I mean, you go to the. No, I have to go to the dentist that is on my freaking list i have a dentist girl no i have a dentist oh sorry it's just hard going do you guys know that we like barely have health insurance hannah we have health insurance i know but it's not good it's not good in these streets no when anyone brings up health insurance i immediately retreat to a baby i'm like i don't know isn't it crazy like reality tv and comedians have no health insurance should we start a um a union health insurance for the girlies i just you just have to be a girly after you turn 26 people like are hitting you with all these like really weird words you're like i have no idea i just want to know that if i have to go to the er i'm gonna be okay oh my god i had a freak out i remember i was 26 in an office because they're basically like you don't have to worry about it if you're under 26 but it's like give me a little prep to know what's coming because then they they put like a book in front of you with all these words and no one gives you the definition of the words and they're just like okay I've never seen this alleged book I think it's because you at 26 were already doing reality tv it's so hard to think of what to get your mom for mother's day there's's always the classic candle, flowers, maybe a sweater, and really all they want is for you to call them.
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What? And his family's been on Twitter being like, this girl captured our son through Mormonism. Oh, she's Mormon.
He's not. But I think he's been converted.
And they think that she saw at a young age, like she was his babysitter and was like, this guy's incredible basketball. He's going to go pro.
I'm going to lock him in and then like use God. But now he never went pro.
I think he, so he got picked up. Guess by who? The Utah Jazz.
The Mormon State. Okay.
And so is he playing this year yes but people are like worried that they're basically like was she grooming this kid you know it's interesting as much as like we obviously like ride for the girls it doesn't really get talked about enough when like this it's like it's the reverse and like a woman finds like a young guy and kind of like molds him like no if that was reversed and that was a man and he was 26 and he was the babysitter and started dating her the girl at 18 we'd be like shit was going on prior women are so much more mature than men so like a 26 year old woman with an 18 year old boy is like

Uncomprehensible. I actually can't talk to men that are my age.
I mean, I I'm even struggling with them being 35 36. No men my age.
I sit them down and I'm like, hi, what are we trying to do? What's going on? Have you you know it's so crazy how men our age get treated so differently than like women our age like my number one question is like when are you getting married when are you having a baby like any guy friends that are like 30 31 no one would want to bring it up they're like don't get a girlfriend you're only 31 it's like what we're literally with us they're like i think you have time like you don't have a geriatric pregnancy for another like three years which is is that enough to fall in love and get married and get pregnant oh i don't know freeze your eggs start injecting yourself with hormones i literally do have to freeze my i had that moment with trevor wallace who's my age because yeah i was looking at him and i was like we're in a similar place with like stand up we just had our first special come out and i was like you don't feel any pressure to like choose career or family right now and he was like what and I was like yeah I literally am like do I shoot another special do I try to have a kid like do like we're in such different positions it's crazy and just not even the sacrifices the rhetoric around like having to say as a woman like oh well yeah like I want to have a family but I also want to do my career and it being like a crazy people take sides in that topic it's so insane are a great example of two comedians that we have our careers going but if I have a kid like we're suddenly going to be on a different path yours will take a drastic and it doesn't mean that it's going to be less successful like arguably you know i i don't want to like i could get a lot of likes with a kid yeah but like i don't no i mean look i said i was keeping daphne off instagram and then i was like but she's gorgeous but I'm telling people I do not want to post my kid for content but with with that just you have such different situations I also have to say because I turned 33 last week or the other week I was like oh my god like because you know when you're 29 know, when you're 29, people are like, you're a baby.

And then when you turn 30, they're like, you're still basically 29. And then when you're 31, they're like, you're still 29.
And then when you're 32, they're like, you're still, you're like, you're 30. Then when you're 33, they're like, you're 40.
Yeah. So I, it hit me like, okay, I'm not in my 20s anymore.
and then I realized that I always have wanted to be like an older cool aunt with some gray hair and like that's who I want to identify with like I feel like so many girls their whole identity is like being young and hot and like I actually never felt comfortable being like young and sexualized and people thinking that I was stupid and I'm kind of over it and I can't wait to be older oh my god you're really taking back the narrative and like twisting it and I love it no I I never felt comfortable when like men were like she's young and hot and I never felt comfortable walking into like a meeting and having to be like hey like you can can you guys please respect what I'm saying do I have to repeat myself again like I'm just annoyed with all that and that's what comes with being in your 20s and I just think that there's so many negativities with it I'm excited to be like I feel like everyone is someone different at heart like in my heart I'm 44.

I'm 44 I'm I will say on the plus side of like being in your 30s now when I am in certain meetings or zooms I feel like I kind of fucked myself because sometimes people are really looking to me to say something and I'm like oh sorry forgot I turned 30. And like now you're kind of taking me a little bit more seriously.
I still don't know. Like when you become a really important part at work, it's like, oh, shoot.
You have to listen to what people are saying on Zooms. The con of getting older is you to listen no there's so many times really they're like page obviously you got the brief like you looked through it and i'm like yep you're in like no no i didn't and my mom has talked about like when you get older sometimes you feel like you disappear sometimes a little bit but like that sounds so peaceful like to just like walk outside and not be like is someone gonna try to like grab my ass cheek okay very interesting because I think I struggle this is like all getting so deep now I think I struggle with the opposite I think I struggle with the thought of getting older and becoming more and more invisible when like for a while the norm was in your 20s you are so young and hot and so like that's in your brain like oh I'm young and hot I'm gonna be young and hot and then as you get older it's like like I feel like I first noticed it when TikTok really came out because like I would see younger hot guys and in my head I'd be like oh you can't date them anymore they wouldn't want to date you you're old you're older than them you know what's so funny and we're not talking about 18 year olds we're talking about like 25 26 year old guys right yeah which we wouldn't want to date anyway but like no but like I would be like how lucky would they be to like sit with me and I would like the conversation and also they think I'm hot and I'm smart and I'm successful like I don't I think it's you have been so pretty and like it's got it's part of your value intrinsically yeah and it's not your it's literally not your fault like talk about not it's really not your fault you're not it's not your fault you're hot and everyone's told you you're hot your whole life for me like being hot has never helped me with anything it probably has in some ways like getting on reality tv apparently had yeah but like it was never part of my ego my ego yeah like yeah i never was like felt better about myself because i was pretty it was more like you have to be athletic you have to be well i think i was at like a young age put in your model even just your child's model i was put in a box where it was like oh she's pretty so she must also be stupid which like it was just a coincidence I couldn't read but that's not my fault that was just a really bad coincidence so like she must be these other things so I think that's why I took it so seriously when I got older like dating where I was like if you don't think I'm funny like that is my baseline.
Well that's the thing the people who fall in love with you are not going to fall in love with you because you're hot. Right.
There's a bazillion hot people. Right that takes a long time to like I feel like as a woman like learn that you have so many more things to like offer than your husband is not choosing you because you're hot your husband is falling in love with you which makes you hot period no i've dated some of the ugliest guys in america but i do have to say loved them it's not it is different with girls because like men it's like oh they bring all these other things which do they but with you do they your ego and your value has been attached to your looks so it's like okay if my looks change a little bit do i lose everything and that's how i felt like when i stopped playing tennis i was like right who the fuck am i because all people liked me for was being a tennis player right and

i think that's why like botox is so rampant and plastic surgery because it's like well i can't this is the one this is me i can't lose this but it's really not you like your looks really aren't you also isn't there something so hot about someone who you is comfortable in their own skin can we talk about that yeah like I always say I think especially living in New York City because like our nightlife is a little bit different and you're exposed to so many different types of people I have been at parties like when I was in my early 20s and like seeing girls who are like a little bit older than me walk in and like

their confidence was so crazy and they were not the prettiest girl in the room no where like a model who was by far the prettiest girl in the room so insecure like standing in the corner her body language so you like almost don't notice her people are not factoring in energies when energies are like everything and also first of all pretty like depends on so right it's very subjective it's very subjective like it's also like what girls think is pretty sometimes guys do not think is pretty like that's actually so crazy i feel like there was just a tiktok trend where people were like showing their boyfriends like a girl that like we thought it girl things is so hot. They're like, yeah, she's like, OK, it's so like you can't control how people view you, how people see you through their lens.
But you can control your fucking energy. And that's why I think like confidence is just so hot and like how you carry yourself.
There's so many people online who get so many likes and people are obsessed with them and then you're in the room with them and you were like their energy is so bad so bad and i think that's why the internet can be hurtful and harmful because you're like wow this person looks like an angel and everyone must be obsessed with them look how many likes they get when they're in the room, no one wants to talk to them.

They have weird energy.

They ruin people's day.

And I think there's also like the opposite effect too.

Like there are some people that it's like, oh, everyone hated them.

And then you're like, they literally just have anxiety.

Yeah.

Like even celebrities and stuff and reality TV people, especially. I love hearing like someone that you think everyone hates.
Then you're like, they're fucking hilarious. They're the realest people.
They speak their mind. They stand up for people.
And you're like, oh my God, I fuck with that person hard. Cause sometimes the people who are curating so hard online are the people who are hiding shit.
It's also just such a weird world because we are able to see what people younger than us are doing and what people older than us are doing. And I feel like before the internet, you just knew what people your age were kind of doing because when were you ever around? Well, even the beginning of the internet, MySpace was just the people our age.
then when the parents came we moved to facebook i'm never around 23 year old girls but online everyday life but online i'm seeing everything they're doing so like like two girls fighting two 24 year old girls fighting on tiktok i'm not taking sides because i'm 31 years old like Like I'm not taking sides because these are like little girls to me. No, you're right.
And they're doing very 23 year old girl things. Yeah.
But it's just getting put on the Internet for everyone to see. Which I wish.
Like, oh, my God, the shit I would do at 23 if I put it on the Internet and now looking at it at 31,'d be like I will freak the fuck out so like I would never be able to take sides with two young girls because I'm like they're both have emotions they're both going through it they're both expressing themselves you can't take a side they're kids but like other 23 year old girls on TikTok are obviously like I'm on this on this one side i'm on this one side but like being able to see it is all very like that also makes me feel much older because i'm like oh i get it but like again it's the girls fighting and where's the guy and it's funny because some people are getting some people are getting mad and they're just like when girls fight on tiktok about a man it's like another girl on girl crime but i'm like or are they both geniuses and they're both getting more clout and more followers neither of them are probably evil like you know they're just being girls they're just like they it's have emotions but also like this is reality tv we're just watching reality tv but like edited through their own tiktoks yeah where you're seeing their you're seeing their own um green screen interviews yeah and there's no like guy sitting on a computer being like cut that part out yeah but they're also like not able to show like actual footage of what happened it's just two girls being like this is what happened that night oh 23 what was i doing when i was 23 no i wouldn't go back to 23 years

no it's so scary it's so what was i doing when i was 23 where was i who was i oh i was um

cold calling sales i was working at abc news i was cold calling sales and i was obsessed with

this one guy in the office who was tall painfully shy never spoke to him like he was shy like i

Thank you. news I was cold calling sales and I was obsessed with this one guy in the office who was tall painfully shy never spoke to him like he was shy like I would talk to him and he would be so shy and that was my dating life when I was 23 I would actively watch my boyfriend leave the club with other girls and I'd be like this is fine this is so fine this is okay i'm strong and then him be like no i was just testing me bringing her to her uber what are you talking i'm like yeah you're a gentleman the universe is testing me in a lot of ways oh perfect mental health moment this girl julia messi m-a-c-e-y i don't know where.
I wrote it in the notes, said, the world won't let you get comfortable where you don't belong.

The world will not let you find peace or settle where you shouldn't be.

No, honestly, the astrologers on TikTok this week have really been freaking me the fuck out.

Actually, some are going too hard.

Some are going way too hard.

Some are like your life's ending.

And I was like, is that allowed? Is that legal? They're like, if you you're a scorpio your whole life is changing i'm like can we not like i just got settled also if you get a bad one you keep scrolling for a good one yeah i'm like i don't resonate with that one thank you they're like you're just like really you're shedding things you're changing your whole i'm like i don't wanna but let's normalize instead of taking like bad experiences or being uncomfortable or bad things happening to you as like my life sucks being like oh i'm listening to this energy i'm not comfortable in this space i'm not saying to like quit all your jobs and break up all your boyfriends even though that's a good idea i'm saying there's a reason you're not. There's nothing wrong with you.
You're not finding peace because this isn't the place for you. And let's keep moving.
Let's keep swimming. No, your gut like always knows.
Well, that is, thanks for giggling with us. Thanks for giggling slash crying slash like figuring out the world's problem that was an insane episode um we love you guys so much we're so we're starting to make outfits for tour no we're so excited especially for radio city that's like i actually can't even say it out loud it like doesn't feel real so like i don't think it's like actually hit me yet yeah um but the tour is freaking starting tour is starting in like two weeks three weeks i don't know we don't know we're living life day today um but we love you guys so much and we'll talk to you soon bye hi brooke devart here hostaked Beauty.
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