Giggling about trad wives, Olympics, and fan behavior

Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these. They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.
Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool.
They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to or what like murder podcast I'm trying to get to the bottom of, solve a mystery.
Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears and the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge so there's like not a lot of admin you can wear them anywhere they're perfect from working from home hanging out with your family or if a plane, just vibing. And guess what? They're available right now on Amazon and there's even a limited time discount happening.
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What's up, gigglers? Harriet, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
What is up my Olympic gold gigglers?

Oh my gosh.

I feel like I haven't been able to watch any of the Olympics.

I actually, I'm so into the Olympics for no reason.

They're not easy to watch.

You can watch on Peacock, but then there's like too many.

For someone with ADHD, I'm like, well, am I supposed to watch skateboarding, volleyball?

I didn't even know I wanted to watch shooting. And when they switch it i don't like that yeah because you get so invested in one person's story and then they're like and now time for swimming and you're like but what about the gymnast not to start the pod off on like a really dark note but what is up with the one guy on team germany that they're like letting be on the team and he's like a convicted rapist like of like a 13 year old girl oh my god i didn't know this it's like very it's like very weird i feel like no one's talking about it i haven't seen it where did you see it tick tock no i people were talking about it and then i looked it up and on tick tock it was the girls were saying that he like went to jail for like four years i'm also like very confused does each country have their own like rules set of rules and then like the people that are there from North Korea, do they have to tell, like prepare them? This is the thing before like, Oh, you're about to see the world.
Like we like, Oh, by the way, like this is what the world looks like. Do they, how do they not go into shock? I think that it's this year is giving a little Hunger Games energy.
I feel like we've never felt like it before. And now there's Russia and everyone's like...
Hello. They're like, how y'all doing? Literally, I feel like the Olympics is probably so much awkward, nervous energy.
No, there's wars wars happening and then they're like let's play like paddle no and then like break dancing look we support all women the arts we do but i also want to know how do you get something to qualify for the olympics like what is the rigmarole also shout out to ali riseman um the gymnast who watched my stand-up special and i was like oh my god this is crazy oh my god she's been going on instagram like trying to explain stuff because this is a problem they'll have these commentators who are clearly like gymnast commentators and they're not explaining it for people who why would i ever be even able to see gymnasts at any other time why would i ever know i don't even know where it is so they're not explaining it for us so ali's trying to explain it but there's a lot of like world championships they have to win the world championship to qualify honestly i couldn't get through understanding most of the things also do you know that countries pay people different amounts for winning gold?

I saw that.

So like China, if they win the gymnastics gold, they get like $700,000 or whatever that converts to in their cash.

And then US, it's like 50K.

And then like Norway, it's like nothing.

And I'm like, I feel like one country gives then like norway it's like nothing and i'm like i feel like one country

gives you like a three-bedroom apartment one country gives you a plant a plant that's gonna die what like that's why i think it's just like so interesting from that perspective america gives you a kohl's gift cash card they just give you points they don't know that you get like a 16 handles punch card that's like halfway through sky miles points you get an applebee's dollar rita um no it's kind of weird and it's give it's giving hunger games but also i love how we've gone full negative i try to be positive but that's not the space

we're in today we're not it's not the energy we're bringing to the function this is the energy i want

to bring wait i have another negative thing you know what i'm embracing it i'm really disappointed

at america's opening ceremony outfits wait the fact you just said disappointed is the meanest

thing you could say no because i was like i'm just i'm actually saddened by it because it's like

I think it's like jeans that's like disrespectful like let's dress up a little like no other country was in jeans we have to make everything so dressed down and it really like annoyed me are you crying you know we wear jeans to the fucking opening ceremony if they're gonna do jeans they could have at least done like a darker wash yeah at least do like a capri no i mean just we looked ridiculous and we could have had like different styles like i was fine with the blazer but we could have i don't know made it look more like lived in you know they all looked very like out of the box they all looked very uncomfortable i felt but you know what athletes wearing normal clothes always kind of gives that energy which is why like they should on full skims no like where is kim kardashian to save the day well they're sponsored by skims but i guess just the undergarments or something yeah look there's just a lot going on i do think it's funny the tiktoks of just like the olympians being like pretending they're in the villa like love island the rugby girl who's like iconic alana if i don't get a room at the satai i'm not going no okay that's the other thing here are these the best of the best athletes in the entire fucking world they're competing at the number one thing they work for and they don't have comfortable beds how do they recover no this is this is the thing if you're gonna spend so much money on like stadiums or whatever they do put a fucking i don't even know how comforters work put a at least a layer thing on it a soft layer give me a feather bed to throw on top get it what are those hyperpedic mad temper p get a temper pedic yeah like why's temper pedic energy couldn't call mattress firm and be like hey quick question can you sponsor the olympics we actually know mattress firm like we're tight we could have put a call in because we're professional sleepers we i know a guy i would have got hooked him up with mattress firm like i am very concerned about their sleep well because didn't want the gymnast guys like get a mattress sent in as he should i think he did but my biggest gripe with all of it is that these people train their whole lives in a lot of sports that like they only make money possibly at the olympics and maybe the world championships so then they're just like on sponsors which is like not a lot of money and then if they don't win like that's it and then if they do win they get like sponsors for like two to three years and then it's it's over you have to figure it out no that would send me into a tailspin and like it's so admirable that you want to be great at something but I just feel like there's not enough money and I'm not trying to just be like get like yes teachers should also get paid more money but there's just something sad about putting your whole life into one niche thing and then being really great at it and then two years later when you turn 26 you're too old and you have to find a new life that's literally me turning 30 you just described what went through my head turning 30 i was like and now i have to find a new life well yeah their whole identities in this sport also shout out my freshman roommate from alaska is playing rugby and she's 32 did she did you ever go to alaska to visit her no her name was her name was her name is a lev Her name is a lev kelter and she shout out a lev she did soccer and hockey at wisconsin she was a two sport athlete which was like insane and then now she's doing rugby and i turned on the tv and they were like a lev's beating someone's ass and i was like that's my girl my god rugby is also like into i can't believe they don't wear helmets. That's all I could think of.
The thing is though not to get all sportsy but helmets can sometimes cause more CTE. Oh god.
As someone who knows a lot about CTE culture because I have had sex with a football player once. One time.
One time. No but theics are fun to watch i just hope that then not to get all mental health about it but then even when they win they say that they all get depressed like they win the gold and then they get more depressed okay well it's like when people say that like after your wedding you get really depressed yeah because like you're like working for this thing like you're planning it and then all of a sudden like it's over like the next day and then you're just like oh my god so i that like so are we telling people not to chase their dreams like is that the lesson we've learned it's like it's not really worth it maybe well it's kind of like you want what you can't have and then when you have it you're upset but i do have to say to be positive if that's okay with you let me check yep that's fine let me just oh my god a little a little chicken just came into the frame daphne no page can we get a daphne update can you tell everyone how she's doing I don't I'm scared for when I'm a mother to a human because Daphne is the smartest cat I've ever met she's obviously the most gorgeous she is the most playful the nicest she has the best personality she's all around she's polite she's well-mannered yep she's regal she sleeps through the night she snuggles she runs i have to ask the question that everyone is wondering is craig jealous of how much i'm obsessed with daphne yeah you know he's not because daphne also if there's one thing about my daughter she is a whore So she will lay on her back for literally anyone who's around to scratch her.
And it's a woman's world. She can literally do whatever she wants.
But no, so she likes him a lot. So he doesn't really get jealous.
When he doesn't talk. Because she will go over to him.
Do you have anything to say to people who say that cats are not

affectionate the cats put that out sounds like something a cat would say and they're liars they're liars they're cheats and cats definitely are doing their own pr they're like don't get us because we'll hate you.

Cats drool.

Drool?

Yeah, cats smoke cigarettes cats smoke cigarettes cats jewel dogs they like have a weed gummy and then call the ambulance I had like one final positive thought oh yeah when I got married the day after i felt amazing yeah because i was like thank god it's over and nothing hugely went wrong right and everyone's okay and we did it and no one's like you got yeah like i literally would just wake up be like is anyone mad at me and if the okay we'll have a good day have a good day wait can we discuss how like in high school when someone was mad at you it was like the world was over like when one of your friends was mad at you well everything in high school felt so permanent yeah and now like if someone's mad at me it takes me two to three business days to even like get around to that you know i'm like oh and what is she pissed about again no that's so valid I just remember when I'd find out someone was mad at me in high school I'd be like how could I be so misunderstood and how could this happen and why would it happen to me and I would never ever want this person to be mad at me and it was like my whole life was about making sure this person wasn't mad at me and you're right now you can't keep track you're like get in line I feel like you were so dramatic in high school I was just trying to avoid I wanted everyone to love me at all times so when naturally something would happen and someone would get mad it was like the end of the world see when someone would get mad at me I feel like I would double down well yeah you went to an all girls school. You guys were like doing like you guys were like witches.
You were like putting spells on each other and shit. Probably.
Where I was always the new kid. So like if I had someone mad at me, that meant like we had nothing.
We had nothing. We had no one to back us up.
Yeah. No, I honestly couldn't even imagine that because I went to the same school from kindergarten to eighth grade so even like going to high school I was scared and I had like 13 girls I already that were like going from my school this is how fucked up my life was I transferred in eighth grade to a school so like ninth grade all the new kids came but I was still considered the new kid because i came in eighth grade and then even more fucked up i went to tennis academy came back started middle of junior year now at a school so i just sat in a class no i just junior year is diabolical coming back from the holidays you sit down and there's just a new girl in social And and guess what was craziest about me i was raising my hand i was raising my hand like who did she think she was raising her hand i feel like i wouldn't i would have crumbled with anxiety boys and girls you know boys and girls but this is the thing i was on the boys tennis team so it gave me street cred but i wasn't but it wait what a lore what a fucking no that's that's the thing about me i was not there were a lot of things i was not but one thing about me i had a lore yeah i was like what is going on with her because like i went to prom that year because i went with one of the guys on the tennis team and people were like who is this girl but I remembered there were girls that I knew from like the city and Brooklyn from middle school and when I came into the school I was like we're friends right and they were like no no no no you don't just come in and get to this echelon because they were like the cool girls and I was like real life click i was like dude we used to like have playdates in middle school and they're like we do heroin now and i was like okay it's fine we don't have to be cool honestly thank god that you were in like you got into heroin no you could have become a drug addict no don't you feel like the like really really cool kids at least in manhattan like you had to do drugs yeah i could see that which is fucked up because you had to have money like rich family and drugs and i was so scared of both things rich families what illegal shit and now i'm like if that's how i go it's how i go either why do rich people have to do illegal shit okay wait this is a great segue because speaking of rich people so i i'm sure you've seen all the like ballerina farm stuff see i've seen it tell me the lore our new favorite word tell lore.
Tell me. I don't know what's going on.
I was seeing it in like piecemeal like things like I was seeing it on girls making TikToks. Then I was seeing some of like this girl's actual TikToks.
And then finally, I just I turned into an adult this morning, a full woman, because I have a New York Times subscription now what does that mean you pay extra money on tiktok or you actually have a new york times subscription no like i have a new york times like article subscription where i can because you wanted to read an article about the trad wife yes and actually there were a few other ones that i wanted to read that i had kept in the back of my head. So do you have the app?

Yeah.

And I'm going to like read.

Do you have New York Times crossword puzzles now?

I do.

I've always had that.

I've always had that.

Okay.

I just haven't been like Wordle and shit.

It's not Wordle and shit.

It's a lifestyle.

It's a religion.

Okay.

Wordle is my religion.

I'm going to be honest.

I can't.

I don't like playing Wordle because.

No, because sometimes I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm not getting it.

I'm going to be honest. I can't, I don't like playing Wordle because, no, because sometimes I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm not getting it, obviously, in four tries.
And then I hear people talking, they're like, oh my God, it took me like two tries, but like, then I got it. I go, I was like, I wasn't even fucking close.
Wordle, luck is involved with Wordle, so don't let it make you feel bad about yourself. My mom and my brother were doing it on vacation and i was starting to get pissed off over it because they were getting it so fast and then i was just like you guys are stupid well you're really pretty so yeah that's what my dad said okay can you tell me what happened with the ballerina farm okay i thought they were like planning ballerinas or something like what do they mean farm so essentially there's this woman she is a mother to eight or nine kids okay she lives in Utah she's Mormon she got married at like 23 I don't know early 20s she's married to a guy he's 35 his family owns like JetBlue so rich they live They live on this like massive, massive farm.

And the article was basically about how she was in the Miss America, like for like Miss America, but for married women.

And it was all.

What?

What?

That's so weird.

Can we cancel Miss America? I said it can we stop it's a scholarship program so but basically their husbands she studied at juilliard and all of these people are so mad that like she didn't go on to like live her dream and stuff and instead she's been popping out like eight kids with no like drugs she's like having them naturally and basically her whole tiktok is like taking you throughout her life she makes everything from scratch and she has all these kids and she doesn't have any nannies and she does everything and everyone's saying like watching watching her videos, like she looks miserable. Like this has to be the worst life ever.

So there was some discourse online of being like,

she chose this life.

Like she's happy.

She's happy.

She can do whatever she wants.

And then there's other people being like,

I know,

I know this type of woman.

He's beaten her down so much.

She'll never be able to get away from him because his family's so rich.

She like lost out on doing her dreams.

Thank you. I know this type of woman he's beaten her down so much she'll never be able to get away from him because his family's so rich she like lost out on doing her dreams she really wanted to become a ballerina she's always dancing all this stuff I do have to say ballerinas have to retire at 18 when they get boobs but can please continue yeah ballerinas is also like a little bit culty culty So the first video that I ever saw that I was like introduced to this whole story

was she's opening her birthday present, okay?

And as she's opening it, her husband's videoing her.

And she says, I hope it's tickets to Greece.

Like the country.

I don't know why. I just thought like Greece lightning, like the country i don't know why i just thought like grease lightning like the play let me make that distinction to hannah it's not grease the movie in play form grease the country i don't know why i fucking hate musicals i hate plays i don't even know why that popped in my head we're so tired right now no i'm so tired we're so tired i'm delusional she wants to go to greece she wants to go to greece this poor bitch opens up a birthday gift and it's an apron with a bunch of like little hole, not holes, like little holders for eggs.

No, I would just be like perfect this is perfect i wait i go wait this is literally better than grease so wait so they posted that and that's what started and so that was what started like this guy's the fucking worst like how well. Well, what did your mom say? What did Kim DeSorbo say? If you marry for money.
If you marry for money. You'll work for it your whole life.
But here's the other thing. And I want to make this like very clear distinction because I think I didn't even really know what trad wife meant.
And like it means traditional wife in the sense of like you do traditional roles i think if you want to do that fucking pop off the thing is it's hard it's too hard no i i would die like this girl has eight kids and she does not have anyone helping her it's literally just her and she wakes up and she like milks cows and it's like how how do you even have the brain function to do this we're not saying like oh like she would rather live her dreams and like doing traditional stuff is not feminist it's fucking like really difficult for one person to do i was an aunt for barely two days this weekend barely two days yeah. I had to take three naps.
I couldn't imagine. I was like, let's play take a nap with Aunt Hanny.
And they were like, and I was like, wait, I think I figured out. Like this childhood thing is a freaking breeze.
No, I asked my mom if I could like drug my kids on a plane and give them Benadryl. And she was like, that's literally illegal.
No, don't ever do that. I'm like, it's fine.
When you have kids, all you do is clean up and then they mess it up and then you clean up and then they mess it up and then you clean up. It's just look, it's a lot.
But this woman has not said anything like help. No, she hasn't said anything that like she's unhappy.
So that's why people are like, oh, you know know like you we've the internet has kind of made this up about her because like she does say that she like loves her life whatever but it's more it's also i was gonna i was just gonna say it's important to note that she is mormon that they are mormon and so that is a different there are there's a belief system that she's been raised on that's different than other people's. We're not going to fight the Mormons today.
We're tired. No, I don't have that fight in me.
I never. I never want to fight the Mormons.
We did fight the Mormons before. I think you can believe whatever you want to believe.
It's just like some things are a little bit more cuckoo for me to understand but that doesn't mean it's not your journey there's a white salamander at some point all i know is that i slept through the book of mormon because craig made me go and it was one of the best naps i've personally ever taken so well my whole thing was like i did shows in salt lake city utah which were so fucking fun yeah and the mormons they the people who are ex-mormons love making fun of the mormons and then the mormons also like making fun of the mormons so i was like in deep making fun of all the mormon shit and here's one thing about being mormon though that like i could see i love getting away with certain shit when i was in like high school like when you're not supposed to drink and you're like drinking like if I was Mormon and I wasn't supposed to do something like finding a way to do it would excite me and that's how what is it's not squirting what's it called and that's how soaking was invented soaking they put their penises in people's armpits and um whatever makes you excited for living yeah we don't judge it's honestly it's freakier than i've anything i've ever done it actually sounds great we would probably love it because like we are tired and it's like sorry i'm claiming religion on this one have you seen the like man on the street Mormon TikToks? Those are my favorite. They were like, would you kill 200 kittens or drink coffee? And they're like, kill 200 kittens.
They're like, would you punch a baby in the face or give a handjob? And they're like, punch a baby in the face. Oh, God.
But yeah, yeah they would they're like allowed to take Adderall but they're not allowed to like drink Diet Coke and I was like I don't know I feel like I feel like we all should take a second and just like update the rulesies because we're going by all the old rulesies of like old books and honestly men who are dead so like what if we like just re jiggered hannah what a great campaign slogan what are the rules again so like what are the rules i feel like we need to update the rule it's like basketball over time they change where the three-point line is they made the ball a different size because we are changing and evolving. They've changed with the, there wasn't even a three-point line back in the day.
Wow. And you know what? The more you know.
The more you know, because this is a sports podcast, I think rulesies need to change all the time. Also, rules are made up to begin with.
Also, rules are made to be broken. Here's something that we both can agree on.
And I love when we agree on something in the fashion space oh it really excites me it really makes me feel connected to you and you posted daisy edgar jones wait someone messaged me and said that she is me and you if we had a baby yeah i could see that i could totally see that because she has like your i feel like head kind of like she has like your hair vibe like slightly unbrushed not too polished but yet she's very elegant but you know what it is you know why she's european she's british yeah she's british so like they do things differently let's take it back to like og og giggly squad when this was on instagram live we were watching normal people and i was like wait have you guys discovered irishmen they're amazing i had such a crush on him you manifested your husband basically yes so daisy i actually i want to go back and re-watch that i haven't watched that since that time i don't know if you should you'll like it's like you'll cry oh right it's like really no i'm gonna do it yeah okay you're going through something right now i love a challenge there's also a funny part where like it made no sense like there was something that happened that i was like all he had to do was like communicate with her and des was like oh in ireland that was him actually communicating really well because apparently no that was a great it's incredible he's so hot so this is the thing with daisy edgar jones she stopped having the bang look and she did like down the middle and then she went on this press tour why do i feel like people don't even care about the movie anymore they just care about the fashion press tour well i literally kept seeing her in things and i was like what is she's just like popping around all over town i had five outfits a day yeah i didn't even know what she was what she was promoting but she's promoting the new twister movie with glenn powell so that's on glenn i actually was in la last week and yeah his name was brought up so many times was it because i basically was like where did this chupacabra come from and everyone was like look he's been in the business for like a long time and finally broke out my thing was like who decided like he's the safe straight white men that we're gonna put into things like someone said that like of the nerdy guys he's the hottest and of the hottest guys he's the smartest and he's just like the safest bet right now and i think he's likable i don't know yeah there's something about him i trust him i trust him but i do have to say i get no sexual energy from that man like i'm not attracted to him see okay interesting i get what you're saying and i think because i can tell that he is like short like he is a small on the smaller scale it do you is he let's see because i haven't you know that i'm not attracted to someone when i haven't even googled their height that is Hannah, that so telling do you know what it is also his name is glenn no that's true in a sexual forum glenn isn't what you're reaching for i'm not even fighting with a man named glenn like i'm not even i'm like okay glenn go to a dentist with a man named glenn absolutely absolutely get my taxes done by a glenn 100 okay you know what he's six feet so he's really five eight yes he's five eight or five nine he's a little too pretty for me and i want his he's just too he no he looks like an ai movie star but you know what i support him and i do like him. I'm just putting it out there.
It's not for you. Not for me.
But I would hook my friend up with him. He's the kind of guy who like you have a friend who's single and you're like, Yes.
You know, he's not going to. He's.
I would agree with that. He'll give a good date.
And like wholesome and respectful on the date and like ask you questions. Yeah.
And she'll be like, he's nice. He's nice.
But like, I don't know. We'll see where it goes.
And then like he doesn't text her and you're like, oh, OK. Oh, my God.
You just nailed that. Just nailed that.
Sometimes going to therapy can be a really daunting task. And we talk about therapy all the time.
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So you know when you pack something for a trip oh my god what are you a long island you know when you pack you know when you're packing for a trip so i'm packing and i was told like i had to do some meetings i don't even know what that means because i'm not a corporate girly so i'm like i don't know what a meeting is so i pack stuff for the trip and you know when the day of you're like there's only one thing i fuck with in here so there's this one solid and striped dress that i was like that is my dress and i felt like that girl i felt good in it i wore it next day i was like okay i don't like any of the other stuff i didn't what is some of stuff? I packed a white dress that was just too bridal. Okay.
And then I had jeans and a t-shirt that I just didn't feel. Wait, wait.
You know what's something that girls do as a community and we don't talk about it? Deep down, we know that we don't want to wear something or that we do, and we will come up with the craziest reason on why we can't wear that one thing like i'm sure no one thought that you were a bride when you put that white dress on at a 10 a.m brunch in los felis literally but internally we're like this is too going out like i can't wear this this is too going out or like everything is our perception like you know when like everyone likes the outfit but you just don't like like you can yeah and also these meetings like i wanted to feel good about myself i was like i just had a netflix special like i'm i'm different now yeah but and all those clothes you're also just and at the end of the day you're a woman in like corporate america that you have to like at some like somehow look professional but also like be your personality yeah and I really was like this dress has to encompass who I am so I was putting a lot of pressure on it so I go you know what day two I go I'm just gonna wear it again because I had like two meetings yesterday I'm having meetings with different different people today. Who the fuck cares? No one's going to see it.
No one's going to know. No one's going to know.
Day three comes. I go, you know what? We did it for two days.
Why not do it? If we're going to commit, let's commit. One more day.
Let's fully commit to the bit. Let's prove to myself that I can pack like an absolute queen.
I'm'm like i could have just packed a backpack for a week in la because this is my thing you know when you order food that's good and then you're like now i have to eat this meal every single day for the next month right now i'm on a real toast and butter and my mom's at home with my uncle making homemade fucking jam and they're sending it to me and so i've just been scarfing it up is she starting a jam company with no i'm like what in the trad wife is going on at home is everyone okay down up there is everyone okay i went to juliad but i decided i wanted to make blueberries in my kitchen i grew the blueberries actually i would love to pretend to be a trad wife like des will be like hey can i have breakfast i'll be like sure first thing they plant this tree and it'll grow in four years and then that's why like i'm really i'm not against like trad wife because there are certain things that i do like love doing like i love organizing my own shit and like cleaning my stuff and like having my like everything in my apartment like really clean TikToks I know I really should because I do love that and like I know when I have a baby I'm gonna be obsessed with like their area being like completely organized having all the stuff they need like I like that shit but I'm not gonna not like do what the fuck i want do you know what i'm obsessed with looking at my walls and thinking what art would look good on it and then ordering art and then putting it up and realizing it doesn't look good on it and that's a trad wife wait shout anyone who's like an independent artist of any kind can you dm me because i don't want to buy from these fucking like wayfair companies conglomerates yeah if i'm gonna spend money on art that's not gonna fit my home i want it to be a small business this is not an ad or anything but i have really been buying a ton of shit from etsy recently i I love Etsy. I I love Etsy.
No, I'll die for it. I love Etsy.
But this is the problem with organizing a home. Like, you don't know until you start putting stuff around and then you're like, oh, that really doesn't look good.
And then you're not just like returning a couch. No.
Do people return couches? It's everything so hard. Like, I have a bookshelf here that I'm just waiting for someone to pick up.
I'm like don't know what i was thinking where do you put it i just like have it in my front i i don't know what it is but interior design truly truly is a different part of your brain and i like commend the people that can do it so well why don't they teach it in school i can like pick out an outfit when it comes to like what goes in this room. I'm like, it's a whole different thing.
Also, I love, as you know, Bauhaus funky design. But it's a thin, thin, thin line between funky and like crazy aunt who's like on ayahuasca.
Yeah. So it's like it's really like it looks like I just got drunk and like ordered everything online and put it in a room like there's maximalist.

And then there's like you need to see someone to talk about what's going on in your brain.

And I wanted to be like Eloise at the Plaza threw up.

I love that for you, though.

But this is the thing. Why can't we have classes in school that give us like basic life? Taxes, balancing a checkbook.
Have you ever balanced a checkbook? I don't even know what that means. My mom's always yelling at me that I'm never balancing my checkbook.
The thing is, I've never balanced a checkbook once and I'm 32. I'm like, mom, I don't know what you're talking about.
Everything's online. Bye.
I have a mental health moment. I wrote this down and clearly this was said by someone i don't know who said it or regardless worrying is worshiping the problem wow it's like worrying is like fan behavior of the issue that's my like when you worry literally be like it's giving fan behavior wait that's so true except usually it's about myself so it's kind of it's like it's so narcissist no but it's like i'm a fan behavior of like you betraying yourself of like your not authentic self no worrying is choogy honestly wait worrying so choogy it's so choogy it's out like you don't need to worry about that worrying is like a farm wedding i'm not getting it do you know everyone want to have a barn farm wedding Yeah like a Pinterest Barn wedding Yeah I can confidently say I never did I definitely did There are a few Things in life That like I know I never I was never Part of that class You never saw What are those mugs? The glass mugs The glass Wait what? You never saw a glass jar and was like, that's kind of cool.
Never. I never thought, let me put flowers in that, put it on my centerpiece for my table.
No. So you just attacked my entire wedding.
I was never part of the girl group that grew up wanting to be a veterinarian. Wait, that was me.
Wait, no. I wanted to be a vet until I heard that the cat can get injured.
And I was like, absolutely not. I'm not getting involved in that storyline.
I didn't even stick around to hear what they did. I was like, nah, Matt.
I'm not trying to do that. Thank you.
Wait, I wanted to be a vet so bad. No, I feel like every little girl did.
What I was just. What did you want to do?

Jennifer Lopez.

I wanted to be a triple threat.

I was like, she can sing, dance, and act.

You guys are idiots.

Wait, I didn't know that J-Lo was like your everything.

She was my everything growing up.

I don't know why I loved her so much.

And actually, I do know what it was.

It was a very simple pink Juicy Couture sweatsuit in a music video and i never

looked back i said this is everything i've ever wanted this is so so anyway out of left field but we are talking about celebrities where is the celebrity do you remember that guy who was like young and like he was the new hot thing and his name was like noah or something noah centineo where is he? He's my Roman Empire. I think about him.
I think about him on a daily fucking basis. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, where is Noah Centineo? I can't believe you're bringing him up because he for a solid period of time.
I mean, I think he's way younger than us, but I was like, this guy is going to be the next big thing. He is so good looking.
Do you think that he was doing his thing and then somehow Jacob Elordi came in and he just got squashed? I don't know if it's that. I think he I think he had I think he took a step back.
I think he took a step back because he was in all those Netflix movies. And it was like to all the boys loved before and he gave such like lacrosse high school energy and honestly I felt dirty even watching it and then um remember he had that whole PR thing I feel like during COVID with Kylie Jenner's best friend Stassi where it was like they got married and everyone like thought it was real and they were like dating for a little bit

and then he just went like dark on like social medias there is a where is noah centineo i feel like something happened with him i think something meant like he like something happened where he was like i need to take a break from social media and honestly i respect that there's a question says is noah centineo still sober um he took a year off and now and now he revealed he hasn't cut out alcohol from his life completely okay that's giving there's more to the story yeah that's giving no i loved him though i can't believe that just came to your mind because i am not kidding i am always trying to talk about with him to anyone who will listen i'm like where, where is he? What's he doing? Where is he? What's he doing? No, this is crazy. Wait, one thing I wanted to say about Daisy Edgar Jones that I didn't say was I'm really happy that we're in a time that like I knew like all of her looks were phenomenal.
And I knew like she was on a press tour. So like she definitely had a stylist.
Like like who was her stylist because they just like nailed the persona she was giving for the movie she's like presenting like she was very like sexy but in like a really sophisticated way and then like very whimsical because it was like a nature movie I guess and unique very unique yeah very unique and her stylist is danny michelle who i like always see her love no i think she's the best stylist ever i always see her looks and can like tell it's her looks because they are very like sleek and sophisticated she does hailey bieber a lot she does kendall a lot can you work with her i think she's like too busy yeah i think she's like too big for me what if she's a giggler though honestly you never know she could be i saw her at the la fashion awards and she i actually think she present no i think she won maybe for best stylist no i think maybe she presented for best stylist either, she's great. And I think it's just like a cool fashion niche that there's more emphasis on who everyone's stylist is.
I like it. I like to know.
Yeah, I like that a lot. I also, I'm like getting into, I actually totally forgot what I was going to say because I just started thinking about jorts.

The silence is deafening.

Oh, also speaking of stylists, everyone was really mad about what I wore when I interviewed Joe Jonas.

Everyone was really mad.

What did you wear?

Oh, you wore that pleated long skirt.

Yeah.

Now this is the thing.

And my stylist did help me with it, but I went against my stylist because classic I was supposed to wear a tight thing on top and it like wasn't fitting or something happened where it was like uncomfortable. So I was like, can you just get me like a button down top? And she was like, she's at the point with me where she's like, she can't chill.
She picks her battles. She picks her battles and we're in just like a really good place where she's kind of like let hannah have this you know you're like you're leaving preschool you're going to kindergarten you can dress yourself and she's like wear princess costume all week this week but i felt so bad because like the one outfit that i was like please just let me wear a loose top like i can't deal with this right now and everyone was like fire your stylist and i was like oh no no no no no she didn't deserve this but then she redeemed herself because on gma no today's show everyone liked the outfit again so i just want shout out to tabitha what was your outfit for today's show i i know i saw nana it was like a tan it was like a tan skirt with loafers and like a blue collared shirt i'm going to like a collared shirt stage you're going through like a mailman phase a hundred percent everyone has to go through a school girl it's like preppy but like not you know what it's basically o's basically Olympic.
It's Olympic opening ceremony. Opening ceremony Olympic.
But I do have to say there's something about wearing jeans with sneakers that should be illegal. And I do it.
You know, I actually couldn't tell you the last time I wore jeans with sneakers. Well, it was really frail.
Here's the other. Here's one thing about my mom.
She may not have been a stage mom and she may not have been an almond mom. But if she disagreed with something I put on in a fashion sense, I wasn't walking out of the house like that.
And I think that she did train me. But like I didn't own sneakers.
Like I didn't know that girls wore sneakers, not for gym class. that is so funny because my mom had to fight me to not let me wear just like my brother's clothes and sneakers like my sneakers I thought were for school like obviously you're not like wearing sneakers anyway like that's for one hour of gym a week and I'm gonna say I'm sick during it because I remember all my friends in like middle school would be like your sneakers stay so white like do you clean them all the time and I'm like guys where are we wearing them where are you guys going we're going to the gymnasium and then we're going back to the classroom what are you doing do you know how opposite we are when I was little apparently like I hated like picking an outfit to wear so bad oh my god it was my everything to go to sleep at night my mom would dress me beforehand so i wouldn't have a tantrum in the morning in like whatever comfortable outfit i agreed upon that night so i just wake up and she'd send me out meanwhile you woke up with like the clueless closet and you were like I woke up with like birds chirping, like bringing my dress over.

No. Meanwhile, you woke up with like the clueless closet and you were like, I woke up with like birds chirping, like bringing my dress over.
No, I wore, I literally, again, I would wear the same t-shirt like three out of five days and my mom was like, pick your battles. If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.
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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers.
I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweat pants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them ever wonder what those pimple patches are that you see all over Instagram and TikTok Sizz is wearing them bieber's wearing them well they're starface and starface just launched a new face wash and moisturizer it's for breakout prone and sensitive skin so literally perfect for me both products feature salicylic acid and they help unclog your pores and minimize your breakouts starwash is a foamy cleanser which is my favorite kind of cleansers i just feel like they really get in your pores you just like know it's working and the star cream is a lightweight moisturizer that basically melts into your skin and feels like a cloud and obviously star face has like the cutest packaging and they're just cute fun products so start by washing your face with the star wash and then you can put a star on any spots you need and you can finish with the star cream.

I'm going through a lot of breakouts right now, so I would literally have a galaxy on my face.

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Oh, I have this new thing to say to fights with your significant other. Whenever Des gets annoyed at me, I just look at him straight in the eye and I just go, I'm your lesson.
So I'm like channeling North. Whenever anyone gets annoyed or pissed off at you, just go I'm your lesson so I'm like channeling north whenever anyone gets annoyed or pissed off at you just go what the fuck is channeling north channeling northwest oh because she's Kim Kardashian's lesson and everyone's Kim will just be like she's my lesson she's my lesson so then I thought you spent a little too much time on like horoscope tiktok that you're like i'm channeling like north energy like the north star i'm like no no no what is channeling north i can't add something else can i actually attack astrology for one second for sure so two things happen when i click on the tiktok ones they'll be like okay leo's Leo season.
Shout out. They'll be like, Leo, everything in your life is going to be amazing this month.
You're going to get everything you want. And then immediately you feel nervous.
Like, OK, well, now I feel like I have to get all this stuff because the horoscope guy told me to. So you feel all this pressure to be great.
Or it's like you're going to all your manifestations and you're like wait i hadn't

been manifesting anything so what did you like now i have to like think of them you feel unprepared thirdly today they were like hey it's august um just some updates and i'm like oh i'd love to listen and they're like there will be serious you know um communication breakdowns financial issues And I'm like, I am literally just trying to wake up and survive.

And now I have all these things I have to worry about, which worrying is worshiping the problem. So now I'm worried about all these things I wasn't worried about before I saw this fucking astrology TikTok.
I find it best to stay away from astrology TikTok. I went through a real dark time where I was like, the psych on TikTok are absolutely correct and I had to work myself out of that yeah I do think that if you're having trouble making a decision psychics can help lead you to your gut that you're having trouble addressing but if you're just like having a good day don't go on astrology TikTok it'll take you down places you don't want to go and you'll find issues you didn't know you had remember when i said that i like think i have curly hair this is what i'm talking about do you see these waves this is so good for an audio podcast i just need anyone to believe me do you have like are you just fully doing side bangs right now are you trying to grow them out like where are we no i mean i still have my bangs but when i let my hair air dry i literally look like a 90s mom and i was gonna say you look like topanga no and so i just go to the side and then i do a full side part when i'm air drying shout out to all the girls who have widow's peak and can't put their hair to the side just like you're not alone wait one of

my girlfriends had a widow's peak and she got it lasered off see i didn't even know i should be

insecure about my widow's peak until a couple episodes ago ago when you guys witnessed page

verbally assault me i always forget you have one you don't really i don't really but there's

something happening that oh i think you just have an uneven hairline there's a lot of things that are uneven also i can't wear a hat like two types of girls girls that can pull off a hat and girls who can't and the girls who can pull off hats are so cool you pull off a hat like in the airport when you wear your nike hat thank you so much for saying that because also coming from the same household that wouldn't allow me to wear sneakers taught me that sneakers weren't even a real shoe. Same woman said that baseball hats are for baseball games.
And that it's, you should not be wearing those types of hats anywhere. And that's one thing that I've fully rebelled on.
And every time she sees me, she says, it'd be better without a hat. But I love your travel outfit.
I love my travel outfits with my hats. Do you want to hear something so silly that I realized? First of all, every Delta stewardess is a giggler.
Every Delta stewardess. So I famously sleep on planes to the point that they're like so someone check on her so every time i wake up a delta steward this is so cute and they put together these little care packages of snacks and then this last one put together a care package of all these delta headphones and i was like i feel like are we gonna get in trouble like you stole a bunch of delta headphones I'm so glad you brought this up because I literally forgot to tell this story.

I literally almost needed to ask a Delta stewardess for fucking help the other day.

Not really.

But someone was trying to talk to me on a red eye flight.

No.

I get on this.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Just wait.

No.

No.

That's illegal. That's illegal.
I actually almost turned to him and was like i'm calling the police like this is so violating and so fucking rude and you don't even give like talk to me energy like that's something that would happen to me i don't give something that would happen to me i would say sorry after now i may have given a little bit of talk to me energy on this flight because it was common imagine common ruins your red eye flight you're like i have a gripe to pick so because my mom was on the flight with me so i was she was standing behind me and i went to like put her bag up first and then i walked back to my seat so i was like interacting with another human no that's like it was not a no whatever so i sit down and this man says who's i'm sitting in the middle okay so two people in the middle I sit down he's already sitting he says where are you coming from nope and I look around I'm like well we're we're on we're on the same plane in at LAX so I'm coming from LA and we both have tickets to go to New York so like I wasn't understanding the question how old old was he? Probably like late 40s. Had an Australian accent.
Okay, so he's a spy. So he's like asking me where I'm going, whatever.
And then he goes, do you fly Delta a lot? And I'm like, oh yeah, sometimes. Then he starts asking me about the menu.
And I'm like, it's 1130. I'm skipping dinner and I'm going to sleep.
We're on a red- flight they're literally turning the lights off i put my headphones on he starts talking to me again being like i'm gonna have your dessert i say nothing i just look over at him i'm like okay dude now i'm done i fall asleep i sleep through the whole flight i i literally am sleeping so hard that the flight attendant has to come over wake me up up and say, put your seat up like we're landing. Oh, that's the best.
Headphones still on. I like can't see.
I'm putting my seat up. I'm putting my seat up.
You're deaf or blind. No, literally, you could jump me in this moment and I'd give you everything.
Like there's no, I have no fucks given at at this point I hear him talking and I don't even move my head I just move my eyes because I'm like there's no fucking way and he goes tell me the story about your shoes and I was putting my so I had flats on like little ballet flats I'm putting like my silver ballet flats back on it like taking my socks off that i pack taking my socks off put my ballet flats on i just ignored him i was like it's 6 a.m you sick fuck it's always these middle-aged men i'm like want to talk find a friend like find a friend send a text literally send someone a text message in this moment i've been the victim of this too many times to the point that like i i have to like go to therapy about it like how does how do i keep getting stuck in these situations how do i get out of it i do have to say one thing happened on a red eye where a dude was snoring in front of me so loud that I couldn't sleep. And part of me was like, do we have a community moment where like we off this man? There are so many times I'm looking for a community moment.
Like, I'm not fucking kidding you. I was like, can we vote him off? Like, everyone's upset.
He's outnumbered. I'll put a pillow on his face.
Like, just don't tell anyone. Like, what do we do? I recently had a community moment.
I was sitting at a dinner and there was a guy sitting at the dinner making our waitress uncomfortable. And I locked eyes with the waitress and telepathically.
I said, if you punch him in the face, I've got your fucking back. And like at that moment, I'm looking for a community moment.
I do have to say New York City is really good at community moments. Yes.
Because something will happen and you know someone will be having a slightly worse day than you and be like, shut the fuck up. And you're like, we got her back.
We got her back. No, it needed to be said.
It needed to be said. I did something stupid.
Well, Des was like, did you download anything on the plane? because i was complaining how american airlines didn't have a tv on the back of the seat because i'm a monster no it was like a five-hour flight you raw dogged it basically well you know what happened so this is so embarrassing but he's like did you download And in my head, for some reason, like AirPods, I'm like downloading, downloading must take

four hours to download a full show.

I was like, I don't have time to download.

Where do you live?

What farm are you living on where you're just like you've excommunicate you're like wi-fi is a

figment of your imagination downloading is not real like i'm gonna blame adhd on this because i think like some things i get too overwhelmed with and i thought okay okay downloading means it has to how much many terabytes is that on my phone and i just don't want to break my phone and I'm like well this is why you need a freaking ipad okay let's not go that i'm not that's social suicide okay you know what you worked tirelessly to get me a cat and by the end of 2024 you will have an ipad and a stanley what do you do with the ipad when you're not on a plane i put it on his charger i color i color with it you color with it okay um sometimes if craig is like watching a show and i want to watch something on my computer but i don't want to grab my computer i just grab my ipad okay i don't watch on my ipad um what else do i do on my ipad that's pretty much it it's really for travel and then like sometimes when you are traveling for a long time you're like i don't need to bring my computer i have my ipad do you ever feel embarrassed that people can look over and see what you're watching on your ipad not embarrassed but sometimes i'll watch something and i'm like i don't know if i can watch a sex scene on a flight true it'll yeah i was watching um dirty pop on netflix which is about lou perlman who created the nsync yeah yeah backstreet boys who are you backstreet or nsync nsync okay good so long story short i was like what if i just press download it took literally six seconds to download yeah hannah it's 2024 how have i been traveling this long so then i i get there but obviously i only have like 10 battery so i have to charge my phone and then i don't have airpods so i can't watch it while the phone is charging and that's when I said you know what You know what I'm not meant for this life I'm becoming A trad wife I have to become a trad wife You're so lucky when we go On tour I'm gonna change your freaking Life because I'm buying You an iPad before we go on tour because I'm not I'm not dealing with you Two I have All the cords, all the headphones, all the chargers, all labeled, all in like as little anything you need. It's just going to it's just going to appear.
And I'm getting you a Stanley for the tour. Should I wear the same outfit all of tour? I love how I'm playing it like dare me to.
I feel like you already are planning on wearing the same travel outfit so what i kind of want to do with my outfits for tours i kind of want to wear like that sports jersey everywhere but i think i might save that for my stand-up tour and have more respect for like the giggly squad aesthetic like i can do that on my own time yeah yeah yeah because we're gonna do like photo shoots but do like photo shoots. But like be you.
I'll be me. But I want to.
Maybe I'll go like a little funky. I would love you to go funky.
You know, I love. I want you to go baggy.
No, I really want to make Giggly Squad tour. Like, like I want to wear weird things.
Yes. I think we have to be fashion forward.
I want to like experiment with like different things. Oh Oh.
What if I just pop out in a wig? Oh my God, that would be great. If you're thinking of getting extensions, you can try it out at Giggly Squad Tour.
Try it out for the night. It's a try.
How would you describe what the girls should wear to Club Giggly? I feel like it's something that you have been wanting to wear out but you're like no one's gonna get it or like he's not gonna think i look hot in it or like a risk you can take a risk and be like i want to see if this like looks cool for me i want to see ties i want to see jorts i want to see sparkles i want to see capris i want to see tube tops I want to see sparkles. I want to see capris.
I want to see tube tops. I want to see tube tops in the crowd.
Anything else you want to see in the crowd? You want to see flowers? No, I don't want to see. No, I mean, I want to just see like.
You want to see effort. Yeah, I just want to see.
I want to feel like we all are going to the same function. Like there's nothing worse than feeling like you're overdressed or underdressed.
I want no one to feel like they're overdressed because I want everyone to go too hard. I want no one to feel like they're underdressed either.
But if they're just wearing like Giggly Squad merch, which is going to come out soon. Oh, shout out because we had things we were supposed to say.
We're coming out with like a merch drop, but we first want to come up with a little teaser merch of like something that was really relevant that we love that you guys were like we want you to make this into a shirt so we're gonna do that first and then we're gonna have more like giggly squad general merch coming out i feel like we had another announcement too we added a second chicago show you guys thank you so much for giggling with us we love you so much and best of luck surviving this week and i hope you get a lot of gold. And best of luck surviving this week.

And I hope you get a lot of gold medals.

No, best of luck.

Best of luck.

No, good luck out there.

Because it's been hard recently.

I don't know why, but it's... Download some movies.

Yeah.

Wi-Fi is real.

Don't forget it.

Also, it's August.

Like, how is it August already?

We got to go. Goodbye.
We gotta go. Bye.
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