Giggling about roasting, the Illuminati, and Gucci

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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers.

I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know

that there are a lot of pages.

Also, I mean, did you see the gifting?

How freaking cute were all of those little boxes?

I was obsessed with them.

I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with

like, honestly, with like sweatpants, jeans, capris.

I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them What's up, Gigglers? Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed I mean the day just got away from me hello gigglers we're jet lagged no we're not I'm jet lagged I went to Barcelona four months ago and I'm jet lagged. Just kidding, I didn't.
I came from LA yesterday. My left eye is twitching so bad that I couldn't put my eyeliner on.
Has that ever happened to you? Like it was twitching. I was like chasing it.
Have I ever been tweaking out so hard that I can't do my makeup? Yeah, for sure. So it's 9 a.m.
We're fighting for our life, but we are like, we have so much shit to talk about. This is like our version of witching hour.
Like I woke up this morning, it was like 7.30. I was like, am I legit getting up to go do Giggly Squad? I was like, shit needs to be talked.
Let's go. I didn't even wake up Des.
I was like, this is not for you. I also, like, I miscalculated.
I live in Guam. I straight up commute to work.
No, like, you have one place you have to physically be each week, and you chose the farthest possible apartment. 20 minutes into my drive, I'm like, hmm.
This is interesting. This is interesting.
I even contemplated, I was like like I might have to start taking the subway there and then I laughed to myself I feel like I'm never right but like was I low-key kind of right no I spoke up about it here's the thing when like you are best friends with someone when your best friend says something that's like 100% right completely valid. Like anyone else said it you would be like yes when they say it you immediately ignore it because you're like no that bitch is crazy she's psychotic she doesn't even know what's happening and then like it comes to fruition you have to just be like you have to just ignore it I'm not even mad for you not listening because I assumed you going to listen.
Because like you thought that I was like low-key trying to force you to live next door to me, which is valid. Which was so true.
I just kept sending her apartments next door to me. Do you truly feel like that? Because like sometimes I'll be thinking about like manifesting my life.
Or like my literal partner will be like, where do you want to live? And in my head, I think, well, my kids have to go to school with Hannah's kids. So I'm waiting for her to decide if she's full-time Hamptons or full-time Brooklyn.
Cause then I could make a better informed decision. Actually, someone asked me about kids recently and I was like, well, Paige isn't ready.
And they were like, how does the math have anything to do with you? And I said, Paige isn't ready yet. We're going to be like 75 and be like, oh, we never did it.
I'm like, well, you never picked a place to live. And you're like, well, you never were ready for kids.
I was like, okay, well, now we're here. Well, you live so far away from where we record our podcast, you never made it.
If Paige never comes again, we know what happens. So I was in Hollywood.
I've joined Illuminati. Yeah.
I do have to say, Grace said something hilarious because I walked in and that was my line. I said, hi, I'm back.
I joined the Illuminati. And she goes, I feel like the Illuminati is like kind of chuggy.
Wait. I feel like millennials are obsessed with the Illuminati and Gen Z is like, okay, get over it.
It's whatever you want to believe. you want to believe.
And we're like, okay. I was like, sorry, you know how hard it was to meet Cat Williams and join the Illuminati and then you just call it Chuggy? She also said your skin was so good.
Which is crazy. Which could be part of being in the Illuminati.
The baby's blood. Yeah.
Or I got, like, a little bit of vitamin D for the first time because I was walking in LA.A. Yeah.
I low-key like had two. Why do I keep saying low-key? I, you're just so fucking L.A.
Is that? I was watching your stories like sometimes when you're not in New York. I don't know why.
Not when you're in like other places in the country. Really just specifically L.A.
I watch your stories as if i don't know you wait that's the biggest compliment ever because i feel like sometimes you don't watch my stories like you're kind like you watch it in like a like yeah i know i was with her like i don't right right right like i can click through because i'm like oh i was there or like oh i know she told me about la I put an outfit hoping that you comment on it. Like sometimes when you're like, you have like your hand up and you're doing like 0.5 like stories.
I'm like, who is she? She's living her best life. I literally have to go through the week.
Like I thought last episode was like the craziest story ever. My week was going to go downhill.
L.A. threw so many fucking crazy.

Well, you like extended your trip.

You're like, sorry, I'm not going to be back till.

I was there for 2025.

People were starting to get sick of me.

They were like, do you live here now?

And I was like, OK, time to leave.

After I spoke to the Gigglers the next day, I went to the roast.

Yes.

We haven't even talked about the roast.

No, we haven't even talked. We haven't even talked.
I have so many questions. Did you watch it? Fully through.
Start to finish. Ask me anything.
Full through. A.M.
fucking A. Oh, she pulled out her phone.
Oh, she has notes. She's never once had...
I actually have so many notes. Okay, now, as a viewer watching it live, everyone's talking about Kim Kardashian.
I just love that she stole the show. First of all, this is my first statement I want to say.
I thought she crushed it. I have so much to say.
So Kim was two tables in front of me, which is crazy. Crazy.
Because we're sitting there for five hours. I sat with Kim for five hours.
You breathed in some of the air that she exhaled. I'm a little mad because I think once she looked at me, like the one time I was filming her.

So I was kind of a, Kim, or maybe she was like, is that the Giggly Squad girl?

Yeah.

No.

No, I feel like she did.

She didn't come up to me and be like, oh, I know every pretty girl in LA and how do I not know you?

She didn't, Jen Garner.

Jen Garner commented on our Instagram.

She did?

What did she say?

She, like all these hearts and stuff is gone.

Grace quit.

Grace just quit.

Oh, yeah.

Didn't Jennifer Garner comment on our Instagram?

What'd she say?

A lot of emojis.

Okay, she posted a grandma, which is so funny. No, I love her.

Okay, shout out Jen.

No, I'll literally throw myself in front of a bus for her. We love you so fucking much.
Capital One. Okay, so.
So anyway, we actually, we sit down and I've never been to like an award show. It felt like an award show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was sitting like right up and everyone was kind of looking around.
Jim Gaffigan stands up. He's sitting at Chelsea Handler's table and he starts walking like away from his table.
And I turned to my friend and go, that's Jim Gaffigan. Like we know each other.
That's Jimmy. That's Jimmy.
That's old Jim. Old Jim doing his thing.
I realized he's walking towards me. towards me oh he's walking towards me and then i realized he just came to like stand here and gossip with me like he literally was like so like what's who's who's that tiktok girl over there like wait i feel like he's so good at at like having the tea but not being a gossiper.
Oh yeah, because he's joking.

Yeah, he's kidding.

He asked me like who one comic was

and then at one point we were just laughing

and he goes,

why are the kids choking these days?

And I was like, I'm not into it.

I'm scared.

Why are the kids choking?

Choking.

And then we find out he grew up

in the place in Indiana

where my brother lives.

And so anyway.

It's very cosmic. It was very cosmic.
So Jim and I are best to the and I couldn't even process like to the point where I was like Jim do you want a photo like what are we doing no wait I just want to say one thing when you were sitting there and and Kim went up to do her thing her set was the whole place booing or was it let me give you every moment so first of all we all sat down and the roast was like a the second it was about to start kim and her publicist just like very quietly sneakily because no one knew she was coming no one knew she was coming and she really like people were like mad about that too that what i saw I saw like clips on TikTok that comedians were like, oh, she, why is she above other celebrities? They didn't tell them because they knew that like all the comedians would make a joke about her if she was there. Well, let's be honest.
If all the comics were making jokes about her, people would have been annoyed because it's the Tom Brady roast and like leave Kim alone. Okay.
Leave Kim. me begin yeah so she gets and she's super she's just sitting there and she's so cute like I'm watching her like she's literally like watching turn to her friend giggling checking her phone she's a girl she's literally just she's just a girl she's just a girl and like yeah she has a ton of drama with the other most famous woman in the world right now.

But like.

At the end of the day, they're both just girls.

They're both girls.

Girlhood.

Yeah.

So we had no idea she was going to go up.

The second I hear them call her name, I immediately am nervous for her.

Yeah.

Because I was like, Kimberly.

Yep.

Noelle.

Kardashian.

I know the whole world's watching.

Like to see someone.

And she's not. No, I would have thrown up.
It's not like she's a football player about to play football. Like this is crazy.
So I'm watching her. Wait, it's not like she's in her element doing something.
She's outside of her box. And in that moment I realized like this is why she's so successful.
Like either she's an AI robot. Yeah.
Or like she is just. She handled this moment with such calmness and grace.
Because she not only went up and did the joke, she went up and, like, murdered. Yeah.
No, like, is funny. Destroyed.
Like, fully murdered. So what happened is she got up and the crowd was very, like, ooh.
And then it kind of turned into some boos. But there's also, like, 20,000 people.
So, like. Which is insane.
Not everyone was was booing it's just there's so many people and I immediately am upset yeah so I stand up because she could see me I stand up because I wait you're you're like that's my friend that's my friend you're not gonna do that to my friend in front of me no one else is standing up around me I don't care in this moment I know she needs me I stand up and I start clapping like this. Oh my god.
Because why are we

acting like Kimberly Noelle Kardashian

has done anything worse than

any of the men on that stage? Kim Kardashian's never

beaten her wife.

Has anyone on that stage? Probably.

Sorry to everyone

sitting on the stage. We don't actually

think that. Allegedly.
Just in mathematics, one of you has to. In mathematics, there's one of you that has.
One of you has hit a girl. Hit a girl.
Or at least been rude to a girl. Yeah.
More than. Or gave an STD to a girl.
A hundred. Or put girls in therapy.
Yeah. There's a bunch of football players up there.
They've done some fuck shit to girls. Okay, if I was stuck in a forest, would you rather be stuck with Kimberly Noel Kardashian or any of those men on the stage? I would.
Well, Gronk is one. I would be like, beat that bear up.
He'd be like, hundred percent. Take the shot glass, break a shard of glass into the bear's eye.
Okay, as a viewer, we couldn't tell. The boos.
Yeah, like we couldn't hear them. So she's a genius because she was just playing to the camera.
Yeah. And that's what's interesting about comedy is you have to, you can either play to the room or the camera.
We're like, Ben Affleck was playing to the camera, like, completely bombing.

But I was looking at my agent.

How no one booed him.

Well, because everyone was confused.

Like, no one knew what was happening.

Or they were like, maybe this is a lead up to something.

I thought it definitely had to be.

I was like, there's going to be a crazy reveal.

There's going to be a crazy beat drop.

He's leading up to something. And then when it was serious, I was like, oh, this guy is...
This guy's speaking from his own experience, from his own heart. Like, I felt like...
This guy went roger than Gronk. Like, but also...
I feel like there was going to be a moment where you just see Tom Brady, like, with his hand on his shoulder. Like, it's going to be okay, dude.
Like, calm down, first of all. It was...
Like, of all. It was the one part of the roast where I was there for four hours.
It was the only time I lost focus. Here's another thing I'll say about Kim Kardashian and the boos.
First of all, anyone who goes somewhere and boos not at a sporting event, immediate jail time. What are you doing? No.
No, like, you're booing someone? You're booing someone expressing themselves? No, that's like clapping on a plane. Like, keep your hands to yourself and shut your mouth.
But it's so funny how people were mad she was there, but then they were also mad that she didn't make it about her and let all the comics. It's like she's not on the stage.
Also, let's just point out, everyone sitting in that crowd, they're football fans. They're fans of Tom Brady.
That's, like, a different crowd, I'm sure. Like, the majority of the people are from Boston.
Yeah. Which, like, shout out to Boston because that's our favorite place to do Giggly Squad.
Yeah. But I will say, I would be very weary of men who, like, loathe Kim Kardashian.
No, that is such a red flag. It's such a red flag.
A man who booze a woman. It's kind of like, if you break it down, men that like really hate Kim Kardashian is because they hate that she like flipped the script on all of them.
They hate that she became famous because yes, she had a sex tape. So she used her body.
So the men were like, you can't do that. You're not allowed to use your body.
We choose when you're hot. Yeah, we choose when you're not a whore.
Then she was like, oh, actually, I'm also super fucking smart. And like, I'm going to be a lawyer and I'm going to do all of this thing.
And the men were like, no, you can't be both. You can't be like this sex icon and smart.
And she's like, well, actually, I can. And I'll be like a billionaire out of it.
So like the men were like no you can't be both you can't be like this sex icon and smart and she's like well actually I can and I'll be like a billionaire out of it so like the men that like loathe her existence freak me out yeah because it's like what are you so mad about and then I really took it back and I was like what does my dad think my dad loves her my dad loves her too loves her but like not in a creepy way no it's like proud of her she's she's killing it yeah Kim Kardashian she crushes and so then I was like interesting interesting keep that in the back of your mind ladies that is such a great thing to ask a guy on a first date yeah do you thoughts on Kim Kardashian hate her or love her hate her or love her and if they're like oh I don't really have an opinion great even better give him a blowjob he doesn't even know what's going on he's dumber than you expected

and that's great for us

I've always been obsessed

with like

I've always been obsessed

with like successful people

I can't wait for Chris

to go on a next

like a date now

and he's like

someone just asked me

if I love or hate

Kim Kardashian

and it's scaring me

okay

I do think that

eventually we should do

some sort of dating show

with Chris and the Gigglers

because the Gigglers

all want to fuck Chris

yeah

But they don't know what he looks like or anything about him. Which is such a Giggler thing to do.
Because we're women in the arts. We are creative.
We're going to make up in our head. They've created their own scenarios.
They heard his voice. And also they like that he gets our humor.
Yes. So, honestly, marriage material.
Yeah, there's something there. Chris, don't get your head all big.
Look at him looking at me all happy. Even if we made it just like a, like, some clips.
Like, we don't even have to do a full date. Like, we, De-Center me.
Yeah, we'll de-Center you. I mean, I love that.
So anyway, yeah, Kim, when she walked on stage and the average person wouldn't be able to handle that moment or that person would be like actually I'd rather stay home because I'm rich no could you imagine standing up on a stage and 20,000 people just booing you and then all these like hot football guys watching you laughing and then I would have passed out I've been like this is actually insane and then I'm like it's too much it's overload the fact she didn't faint was iconic no I'm like if she didn't immediately go backstage and vomit then she should be president no she literally did it sat back down and enjoyed the rest of the show no and then at the end then the very last guy that went I mean he just like eviscerated her when he he said like, oh, speaking of a whale's vagina, I go, if you say Kimberly Noel, I will lose my fucking mind. And she just sat there and was like, good one.
No, that's hilarious. Also, when you're a girl on the roast, it's like they're gonna make fun of your pussy.
Right, that's the other thing. It's like, good one.
Whales, good. I made Craig watch Bridgerton with me this weekend because I'm getting ready for the new season.
And every other word. Because I'm training for the new season.
I'm literally training. I watch all of that.
And every other word or like why you can't do something. I'm like, well, he would like ask a question.
I'm like, no, they can't do that because they're a girl. And he's like, well, why can't they get married? I'm like, because she's considered a whore.
So they can't. And he was...
The men made these rules. No, and he was so baffled about it.
And I was like, okay, it's not that much different today. Literally, they wanted to kill Kim Kardashian because she got fucked on camera and now is a billionaire and they can't handle it.
So it's literally nothing has changed. Oops, sorry.
That's the police coming for you. It's the Illuminati.
They're like, she's figured out too much. She called us Chucky.
Wait, we would have beef with the Illuminati. Like, could you imagine someone coming to us? If we disappear, it was the Illuminati.
Yeah, we're coming to us and being like... If we disappear,

it was the Illuminati.

Yeah, we're like,

we just feel like you guys

are doing too much.

Kat Williams is like,

I told you that I'm getting the spot.

They talk too much.

I can do like 20% Kat Williams.

You can do someone

doing Kat Williams.

He's absolutely right about that. She's absolutely right.
Takes a genius to no vaginas. Wait, that was really good.
That last one was good. One more thing about Kimberly Noel.
Yeah. I'll make a whole separate podcast about her.
Do not come for her vagina. Because we all know for a fact, I've seen her wear these bikinis.
The girl has a marble vagina. There's not even a hole.
No. I don't even know how she got pregnant.
It's a sliver. We all know.
We've all seen it. Oh, God.
No, I love her so much. But then the tea that I want to give the gigglers is there's an after party.
Yes. Which I heard Tom didn't even go to.
Tom and Kimberly did not go. So people, I think, were trying to be like, where's Tom and Kim? Where's Tom and Kim? Part of me was like, Kim, if you're going to show up, have sex with him.
Wait. And I don't mean it in like a you deserve.
This is a hot take, though. I feel like Tom.
I stan them. Really?

Because I feel like Tom gives Kim the ick.

Yeah.

Like, I feel like when Tom initially got single, Kim was like, wait, this could be so cool.

And then Tom did something.

She was like, wait, no.

Because I just don't think you can go from the type of guys that Kim has been dating.

Pete Davidson and Tom Brady are two of the most different people. You can't go funny guy swag to meathead athlete.
Yeah. And I don't.
Pretty boy. Funny is definitely not his thing.
100% no. But those are literally the men that I would go for back in the day.
The ones who were like so tall, so beautiful, so not funny.

And then I wonder why something was off.

Because you have to be smart to be funny.

And that's what Victoria Beckham told me.

And she remembered.

And I remembered.

Three years later.

So I get into the after party and. First of all, wait, your outfit.
Oh, so I found my stylist. I mean, that's your stylist.
I found my stylist, Tabitha Sanchez. Shout out to you.
She just starts pulling outfits for me, right? Yeah. And I'm like, what is this? And she goes, 2004 Dolce.
The fashion world is sometimes so. No one says Dolce and Gabbana.
only say Dolce It's that Dolce Vita lifestyle She just goes 2004 Dolce And I was like I don't know if this is gonna like fit Just like I hope it fits You immediately like put it on And you're like yes I'm a monster Well someone said they were like Dolce is made for like Sophiaoren like they design it for voluptuous italian women so she was like your body's actually perfect for it like a model would have to like get it cut up and stuff she was like this was made for your body and i said bury me in this no literally and i showed up so main character energy to that roast you also also just like, here's the other thing like about fashion. When you're wearing something that like so feels you, like it changes your whole perception of things.
Like so when people are like, oh, it doesn't matter what you're wearing. You put too much pressure on it.
Like, no, it literally connects to your energy and you're different. People no because you were probably walking in standing different commanding a room different because you're like I know that I fucking look so good and I love this outfit I love nothing could go wrong my mom literally called me because I was like why did they put me in like they put me like in the deadline article like did you say that was crazy I thought Grace I thought Grace Photoshopped it in, and it was a bit.
No, for real. I called my mom.
I started dying laughing. I'm like, why did they do that? And she goes, I don't know.
I was like, who hired Grace at Deadline for two weeks? Or like, a Giggler works at Deadline. It's a Giggler.
Definitely. A Giggler definitely was like, wouldn't it be hilarious if we swapped Kim and Hannah? I genuinely feel like the Gigglers are all around the country just like pranking us with certain shit.
They're like, wait till they see this. They're going to die laughing.
It's like, we can't have our faces on a strip club. But it's giving Illuminati.
No, it is. So I called my mom and we were laughing about it.
And she goes, well, this is what happens when you invest like time and energy into your outfit and your makeup. No, that is the most mom.
Mom shit. And I was like, okay, thank you.
Okay, I'm trying really hard out here. Like I'm tired.
I'm like trying to like, I have a lot going on. I'm like, thank you.
Thank you, mom. She's like, you're doing good.
But just remember, you can always be better. She is.
It's so funny. I feel like our moms use each other against each other.
I don't know. Because Kim, I know Kim is rooting for me.
My mom will be like, Paige puts effort every week into how she looks. Paige has time off.
You know what she does? She invests it in herself. And you see the results of it.
My mom literally hit me the other day with one of the most diabolical sentences.

I did something and she just straight face looked at me and she goes, you're a lot like your dad.

And I was just like.

Wait, that's the meanest thing I've ever heard.

No, I literally looked at her.

And like at first I was like, because my dad is like the nicest guy ever.

Like truly the most empathetic,

the most compassionate.

But he's not running the show.

He's not running the show.

But at any moment he can just be like,

fuck you.

Like he will switch at any moment.

He's Italian.

Not like, oh, he's insane.

But like if someone does something,

then he can switch.

Don't take my kindness for weakness.

Exactly.

So my first reaction was like, oh, thank you.

And then I was like, fuck you.

I was like, what the fuck does that mean?

How dare you compare me to a man?

No, I thought I've thought about it every day since.

I'm like, what did she mean by that, though?

It's so funny because last week I was feeling myself and I was like, I know people say I'm a lot like dad, but like, let's be honest. I'm like you.
And she's like, you are. And I hung up.
I've never. It was the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.
I was like, my mom said I don't like that. No, there is like sometimes there will be moments with your mom where you're both like just girl, both being just like girls.
And like your mom will say something, like I'll say something to my mom

like that I'm afraid of or scared of.

And I'm like, well, what would you do?

And she'll say like, oh my God,

you're so much smarter than me anyway.

Or like stronger or like,

like why are you even worried?

And in that moment you're like,

oh, we're just like girls.

We're just girls hanging.

Yeah, literally.

Doing taxes and putting yourself on a budget

is one of the scariest things ever. And that's why I make my mom do it.
And when she was going through my taxes, I said, okay, put me on a budget and anything that I don't need to be paying for, let's just get rid of it. And the amount of subscriptions that I forgot about that I was paying for double subscriptions, that's why you need Rocket Money.
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Conditions apply. So I get to the after party.
I'm trying to think of the tea. I mean, Shane Gillis is hanging out with, like, in the corner with, like, Dave Chappelle.
Dave is smoking a cigarette. I love that Dave does not abide by any smoke laws, like, anywhere.
Like, 1995, I think it was, like was like a law you can't smoke anywhere and Jay was like not me even cancer he's like nope unsubscribe block so they're there and then Tom Segura actually came up to me said hi and also so I'm best friends with Andrew Collin who wrote some jokes, shout out, for Nikki on the roast. Which we didn't even forget Nikki.
I mean, we didn't even. Nikki, I mean, they really, they only had two women on stage.
Right. And like, that was a lot of pressure for her.
Yeah. She was so incredible and also the women are so overprepared.
She's done these so much. She was, I know all the guys were like practicing their set but I just knew that she was going in with like a vengeance.
Like she had an extra chip on her shoulder. Yeah.
And then like throughout the whole rest of the roast, a lot of the guys were like falling asleep. Like you couldn't see it but they were like, okay, Nikki is sitting there laughing, high-fiving Jeff Ross.
Like she's in it. She's working.
She's working. That bitch is working for her check.
Yep. And it's just so great for people to see how fucking amazing she is.
Even that small difference with men and women. Men can sit there.
Yep. Like, who's next up? Bert Kreischer, we were joking, was literally reading the teleprompter with his mouth.
Lying there and reading it out loud and laughing. Imagine if and laughing.
Imagine if Nikki did that. They'd be like, she can never come on another rose.
Dragged her off stage with her, like dragged her. Yeah.
And her to sit there for four hours. In her tiny dress.
Your shoulders must have hurt so much. She also looked really good.
And that's not important. But when she walked in, I kept trying to mouth.
I said, you look beautiful. No, she looked so good.
She definitely had no idea what I was saying. She had me like, what? Yeah.
Also, her hair color is the perfect blonde right now, I think. Yeah.
So she didn't know something about it. She's just like, she's glowing.
Yeah. And also shout out to Nikki because when I was on the come up, she literally took me around to spots in Manhattan, like at the stands in the cellar.
Like imagine.

Stop.

And literally.

She was your mentor.

She's my mentor.

So she's my mentor.

She's literally what we say, like girls need to help girls who are like in the same profession.

She literally was like, do you want to just come to some spots with me?

And I just followed her around, asked her like the dumbest questions and she answered it all.

And it just felt like so it makes it feel touchable and tangible yeah so shout out to nikki um so you're hanging out nikki then gronk is just like talking to everyone i went up to him and i was like um you're actually very smart and he just was like thank you and i was like oh god that didn't go well wait i love he was like one of the best parts of the show. Well, because he was so gronk.
He was being so gronk. If he wasn't like that, people would have been upset.
And the funniest part about it was, like, everyone that was making jokes about him all night long, you're like, oh, my God, wait, that's so funny. That's, like, blah, blah, blah.
Then he gets up and says one word, and you're like, wow, you just made everyone else's joke so much funnier because you are exactly what they described.

I could see the teleprompter.

He went off the teleprompter for like two minutes to point.

They gave Kevin Hart the mic to be like, maybe we might have to segue this.

That's the thing why the roast also was so impressive because like we knew it could have been a complete shit show.

Yeah.

And somehow it just wasn't.

Kevin Hart did a great job like keeping the flow. Yeah, that had to have been so hard.
He's such a talented professional host. Side note.
Oh, yeah. Who do you think was...
The funniest? I thought was the most attractive. Guy up there? Mm-hmm.
Who do I think you thought was the best looking guy up on the stage? Like, who would I be into? Oh, my. Not to make it about me.
Um, I would say... Besides Bill Belichick, who was so funny.
Literally imagine going around a party. I think you're going Tom or Gronk.
Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe.
Fuck, I forgot he was on the stage. He's such a zaddy.
His voice was so low. I met him afterwards.
He's huge. I was just like talking to his belly button.
And like funny. And also he's the guy who like, do you know the story of Drew Bledsoe? Yeah.
He's the fucking. This is a sports podcast.
Yeah, this is a sports podcast. He's the star.
His joke when he talked about his 30th wedding anniversary. That's so good.
That is funny. That was so good.
So he is the star. They call it the franchise quarterback.
they're paying him millions and millions of dollars he gets completely obliterated his knees like falls off yeah he's in the hospital his knees like I quit falls off his knee was like I'm gonna kill myself and then so then they throw Tom in this young quarterback and he's like does okay does better next thing you know they're like doing really well Drew Bledsoe finally is healed and is like, what's up guys, I'm ready to like go back. I'm getting paid $10 million to be the star quarterback and Bill Belichick goes, actually Tom's going to stay in.
So he lost his job because he got injured and Tom became great and then he got traded off. But he showed up to that rose to be like, that was the hottest thing like I love a guy who is actually can laugh at himself yeah and like it's almost like more of an ick that Tom won seven Super Bowls like Drew is like no guys stronger not that I'm just like through more I'm not just like blindly like oh I hate men like sometimes yes But like this was one of those moments where I was just like Tom Brady's literally giving me the it.
Also, when Bill Belichick went on, the way he's changed the way he was sitting, like he literally turned to him and was like, daddy, daddy, love me, daddy. It was so funny.
I thought I was convinced at the very, very end, like before Tom got up, that Giselle was just going to walk out. There was murmurs that Giselle was there.
If they were in a better spot personally, I think that would have been the funniest thing. Like if they were actually cool with each other.
Yeah. And she walked out and was like, now I'm actually going to roast you.
And it's just like... Yeah, they're definitely not there.

No. But also the fact that he got

mad at the Robert Kraft

massage joke, but then

didn't care that everyone just ripped on his

wife. Yeah, didn't give a shit.

The whole time. Yeah.
But Robert

Kraft... Was that when he

got up and said to Jeff Ross, like, don't say that again?

Knocked that off. That made me...

That gave me the ick. From the live live audience we didn't catch it.
Like interesting. It was not picked up to like we didn't hear it at all.
I just know that Jeff Ross afterwards was like kind of apologizing him and Kevin Hart called him a little bitch. But we didn't when I heard the audio I was like okay.
Yeah. Because it wasn't like that in the crowd.
Also Robert Kraft was like dying laughing. He was at the after party.
Like what was the joke even made? He because Robert

I'm not that's not the worst thing he's paid for sexually come on so yeah i saw andrew schultz at the after party and like it was just all very fun yeah and i'm like this has been amazing these two days so i get home and when i was getting my hair and makeup done you know when there's just like chaos in the hotel I get back, can't find my charger, which is like a literal nightmare. I'm in a foreign land.
No charger. I'm scared.
I'm alone. And I have to be up at 6 a.m.
for this charity golf tournament. What? Just wait.
So there's 4% of my phone. So I like put it on airplane mode.
I like freak out. out I somehow wake up in time I charge it in the uber I get there and they're like look everyone's just

here to play golf no one's like trying to get interviewed but like if we get some interviews

fine just like let's see what happens no pressure are you playing in it so somehow I yeah I am

playing in it also I ended up just playing with Jared Freed the whole time like they were like go

I'm so happy I played with you and not someone else because I would, like, embarrass myself saying something stupid. Yeah.
So I'm standing there. Jared made a Justin's peanut butter cup joke.
And I don't know why. I just, like, never forgot it.
And, like, it just, like, really stuck in my head. Jared loves a food joke.
He loves a food joke. Me and him were eating peanuts.
It was just really fun. Yeah.
So they go, Cat Williams coming. I did not think Cat Williams would be the first one to show up at the golf charity event.
I did not take him as a prompt. Nothing's not prompt.
I just didn't see it. Punctual man.
I think he the night before had his special. I don't know.
I just didn't even think he was going to show up. And they go, Kat Williams is here.

So I'm interviewing Rory Scovel, who's my favorite person.

And Kat Williams is just watching.

And apparently, like, he was like, what's all this about?

Yeah.

And, like, he wasn't sure if he wanted to get interviewed.

Don't know what happens.

Next thing you know, he's walking towards me.

And I was like.

No, I'm freaking.

I've trained my whole life for this.

I felt like a calmness.

I looked this motherfucker in the eye. And I said, Kat, you, your everyday I'm hustling beginning to a stand up special was the greatest start of a stand up special.
And you inspired me to do comedy. He immediately like lights up.
Yeah. Like happy.
Because at the end of the day, he's a man. And all you got to do is compliment them one time.
But I would also argue Cat Williams is a girl's girl.

Oh.

Cat Williams is,

he's gossiping.

Yeah.

He's conspiring.

Yep.

He's taking people down.

Taking people down.

He's like,

whatever,

I'll say it.

He's a girl's girl.

So I was like,

he's the girlfriend that like is like,

whatever,

I'll text him and ask.

Literally.

And I,

I want to be,

I want to work towards that

every single day to be that. Like whatever, I don't give a fuck, I'll text him.
So, and I also, he be I want to work towards that every single day

to be that

like whatever

I don't give a fuck

I'll text him

so and I also

he also came with a fit

like looking

like he put thought

into his fit

so the first question

I have is to go

Kat

what was your inspiration

behind this outfit today

yeah it was the journey

and he basically waits

like eight seconds

before answering

and I'm like

okay this isn't going great

like literally

give me anything

I can't

so he's like

but he's like

he thinks before he speaks

yeah

and then he starts going

and I think

Thank you. eight seconds before answering and I'm like okay this isn't going great like literally give me anything yeah so he's like but he's like he thinks before he speaks yeah and then he starts going and I think I start giggling and next thing you know I'm like we're riffing and then he starts singing some song because I was like how do you relax or something he starts singing I start singing with him he calls us Ebony and Ivory we I sang with him for like you're a woman in the arts multiple minutes and then finally I asked like what's your least favorite golf rule? And he starts going on this whole rant about like well rules are made up.
Rules are this thing. Like just talk about rules.
And I'm like you have to go for it. Like I felt like there was a moment there.
I just go why do I feel like you don't know any golf rules with the way you answered that question. And he pauses.
And everyone is, like, tense. Did he laugh? He goes.
Wait, I watched the video. I know.
He goes, it takes a genius to know a genius. And then I just calmly look at the camera.
I go, Cat Williams just buried me. And he starts doing this hilarious dance.
Everyone's clapping. It was, like, the greatest moment of my life.
This is the first interview. Did you call your dad and tell him? Well, I walk off and I go, guys, let's leave.
Yeah, no, we got it. There's nothing else for us to do here.
There's nothing for us to do here. We got the shot.
Jared can hit by himself. Jared doesn't fucking need me.
Like, I'll leave Jared for dead. I'm leaving.
I'm going home. I have to find a charger for my phone.
You know, my phone is rapidly dying and I'm pretending I'm a professional. Women literally, the craziest thing can be happening to us and we can just sit, literally Kim Kardashian was booed in front of 20,000 people and she sat there with a smile on her face.
Like we could be bleeding from our vaginas and we're just, something could be going on but in the back of your head, your phone's dying. But we're the emotional ones.
No, but we're crazy. We're the crazy.
We're crazy. You know how badass it would be for us to actually go crazy? No.
Don't tempt me. Don't get my gut there.
So, I'm like, we're done. Then they go, oh, Will Ferrell's here.
No. So, I told everyone, I go, Cat Williams is my North Star.
I'm done. Then I go, wait, wait, wait.
Actually, Will Ferrell's also my North Star. Like a true girl.
He was my, like, on the pod, I said. He would be your number one.
He's your. You love him.
Give me a chance. What is it called? What are the Gen Z's doing? Hear me out.
Hear me out. Yeah.
Will Ferrell. When I say this man is an angel, an angel among us first of all is making him giggle yeah i feel like he is also one of the girls he's a girl's girl yeah and then at the end like i'm very like i want to do the interview quick and then i'm like get out there like sorry for wasting your time please leave he literally just stands there and he goes are you playing and i'm like i can't handle this no he's like just chatting up yeah and then of up.
Yeah, and then of course I'm like, you know, I was a tennis player, you know? Yeah. And he's like, oh, my wife loves tennis.
What's your opinion on pickleball? Next, you know, we're like having a very... All of a sudden you're in a league together and you're like, how did we get here? But you know when you have small talk with people throughout your life and then like you're having...
No. I try to avoid it at all times.
But, pickleball is a very standard small talk conversation for tennis players.

So I'm having, like, a normal small talk conversation with Will Ferrell.

And it's just so fucking crazy.

No, that's.

Because I actually don't ever remember him ever being, like, normal.

Like, he's always doing a bit.

Yeah.

And he was like, yeah, see you out there.

And I was like, okay.

Right, like, even him coming out on the roast.

Like, he was doing a bit on top of a bit. He always yeah like i think that my layers of bits so many layers he's a genius yeah so that happens and i'm like how is today this more like i never thought a morning would be a good experience for me but i'm experiencing the best morning i've ever had then charlie day comes out i made fun of his mustache you know charlie day from always sunny yes i make fun of his mustache you could tell it was like too early for me to do like he was like okay like he's a nice man okay we're just trying to play golf for the kids yeah and I literally was like what's with the mustache he was like what and then he was like actually it's for a role and I'm like that's literally the only answer yeah that someone like men would be like military I'm like that's not a rule that you need to have a mustache if you're in the military.
They love to say it's a rule. I've never heard someone say it.
No, they always go for the military. I think it's because they can't have a beard, so they just go with a mustache and they blame the military.
Just go to therapy. Talk about your mom.
Let it out. Then I met Blake Griffin.
Oh. You know what? Shyer than I thought.
Like, shyer, sweeter. Not like a big, loud personality.
Very sweet and funny. Yeah.
He used to go out in the city. I would see him out a lot.
Oh. I never talked to him, though.
He's kind of like laid back. Yeah.
You know who's not laid back? David Spade. Yeah, no, I could see that.
My new best friend. He was hilarious.
Like, David Spade and I are friends now. Did you guys exchange numbers? Did you see anyone on the plane going or coming there? On the plane, I saw the woman from, oh, God.
Wait, I said it. Tara Lipinski.
The woman? Oh, the actor from T-Mobile, Verizon. No, but that was at Airwant.
There was one on the plane. Me when anyone asks me a question.
And then maybe, yeah. Me in any professional setting ever.
Oh, God. I'm trying to figure out if there's any other people.
I met Bill Burr, who was, like, angry at 9 a.m. So on brand.
Well, what you were missing in New York City while you were, like, outliving your freaking life. Sorry, I'm still name dropping.
I'm not still name dropping. I don't know if you saw, but New York City made a portal, which is basically a video chat call with Dublin.
Dublin? Did you say that in Ireland? Some giggler out there is like, Hannah needs to see Des's other family. They've already closed it, shut down, it's over.
People are showing their dicks. A girl got a Flash her tits Yeah obviously And they were like Which side New York or Dublin New York obviously I was like This is why we can't have Anything nice This is why we can't have Nice things And I just like Wait I didn't know that It's gone It like just happened Like yesterday They were like And we're.
That was a great. Some kid in Dublin's just like crying.
Mommy. No, but like the thing that I was like, was really annoying me.
I was like, first of all, I blame, you know me, I blame everything on the mayor. Like even if it has nothing to do with the mayor, I'm just like, what? Why the fuck do we need a Zoom 24-7 with Ireland of all places? Like what's going on in Ireland? Also, it's literally like chat roulette.
No, I'm like, stop calling it a portal. You're freaking everyone out.
You're freaking everyone out. It's a literal Zoom that's probably going to end in 45 minutes because those timers are really finicky.
Shout out, whatever girl showed her tits, can you DM us? It was like a, like, OnlyFans girl. Oh, so she's professional.
Yeah, no, it was like, people pay for this. She was like, no, I actually know how to do it right.
She was like, it wasn't just some drunk girl at brunch. She was like, sorry.
She's like, actually, you're supposed to go right, then left. You're doing it all wrong.
But also like, with our tax dollars, is that, do I have to really see more Dublin fuckboys? That's what's really pissing me off. I'm like, who built this fucking portal? Okay, so you guys know that I'm obviously no stranger to UTIs.
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Then I did After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson. Wait! I watched it the other morning.
I literally I'm a freaking mom. You're a stage mom.
I'm a stage mom. We have, Paige and I have these weird moments where like, I'll just text her when I just get a weird vibe.
Yeah. A good vibe, but like just want to be like, hi.
Like, I think I said hi. Like, I miss you, chicken.
Yes. And you were like, I'm literally watching your videos right now.
I woke up early because I was like having anxiety. Shut up.
And so I'm like sitting on the couch like by myself trying to just like freaking meditate. So'm like I know what I need trying to process one emotion I need to see Hannah so I'm like oh Hannah's episode wait I'm your comfort person yeah so I was like I'll put that on like I'll watch that it's light it's funny I don't have to think at all it's like she, she's here.
I'll be fine. And it was so funny.
And Brandon, I know. Kyle.
BKG. He's very funny.
So funny. So nice.
I was nervous because I've never done a show like that. I also haven't been allowed to be on a cable show in years.
I don't know how that let me back on that. They were like, just after midnight, she could go on.
So I wore Mew Mew for you. Wait, that's what I wanted to say.
You looked phenomenal. Thank you.
But the most embarrassing thing is at each commercial break, after the first break, the showrunner guy comes up to me and goes, hey, can I grab you? Live? Was it live? No. No.
But he was like, can I grab you for a second? Yeah. Takes me off the stage and I go, I'm fired again.
I was like, what did I fucking do? And because he definitely seemed like, he was being awkward about it where I'm like, did I say something? And he pulls me aside and he goes, hey, you have a little, I'm like, what? You're sweating. I'm sweating.
So he pulls me aside and he goes, can we just blow dry? And I was like, yeah, you literally scared the fuck out of me. I thought I was fired.
And he's like, no, no, no, you're just, we're just, you're sweating. I go, I don't care if I'm sweating.
I'll hold my hands down. He goes, let's blow dry it.
They were like, we care. We care.
They were like, this is our show. I go, we have to uphold some kind of respect.
We care about aesthetics. Yeah.
So they literally take me aside, blow drying me. Everyone's waiting for me to be blow dried.
Like a fucking wet rat. But they don't tell you in Hollywood.
But they don't tell you. Hollywood's a crazy place.
So they put me back in. But I think it's like, it was because it was a game.
Like I got, I wasn't nervous at all. I was like, well actually I was trying to not be competitive.
I really was trying. I was like, this is our...
Well because it's a game show but like not really. Well they told me, the first thing they say, they go, this is not a real game show.
And I go, that's's what people say when they don't want you to win. That's what they say when they want you to be distracted.
They go, don't worry, it's for fun. That's what they say.
That's what losers say. Yeah.
So then they pull me off again, blow dry me again. And I realize, oh, this is a thing.
You got blow dried twice? And Taylor is like waiting for me. Yeah.
Then they pull me aside. They take out these like pads.
And I go, this is Mew Mew. You can't just like stick a pad onto the Mew Mew.

And they were like.

Wait, Hannah.

They literally put.

I'm so happy that you.

Period pads on my Mew Mew.

You were like.

No, no.

This is Mew Mew.

High heels on my.

You were like.

What is that?

Mew Mew Mew.

Don't you hang up on it.

That's how I'm.

I'm.

I'm.

I'm.

I'm.

Period pads on my pitties. Period pads on my pitties Period pads on my pitties Okay name of the episode Period pads on my pitties Put it on my tombstone I feel like Nikki would be so proud They put it on my On my Mimu Yeah And I was like Can I text Paige I don't know if this is legal, I think this is illegal.
Like, I think there's a stylist that just died somewhere. That's how it works.
The fashion community is very mad at me already and I'm literally on the edge. So I end up having these period pads in my arms.
Yeah. But it was so funny because I'm chill.
But like, I'm chill. I'm like, you're not being competitive or weird.
Like, you're not freaking anyone out. I love the classic, don't be weird.
You're not being, the conversation in your own head where it's like, you're not being weird. You're being cool.
Just continue that. Don't be weird.
Like it's a weird inner monologue. Do you know when anyone, when you're a competitive person, when someone, and it's not like, I'm not even competitive with other people.
It's more like I'm competitive with myself because I have PTSD that like people will be disappointed with me if I lose. Oh God.

So I'm standing there and I'm like, no one cares if you want to

lose. This is a game.
This is stupid. This is

nothing to do with your self-worth.

And I'm literally like,

don't show anyone that you

have a crazy winning, like competitive

side. So I'm so chill

and I'm like down by like a thousand. I was

giving a score. And then the

last round she's like, okay, we're doing a speed round and everything is 500 points. And immediately I'm like down by like a thousand.
I was going to score. And then the last round, she's like, okay, we're doing a speed round.
And everything is 500 points. And immediately I'm like, something came over me.
I couldn't hold her back anymore. I was like, beep, beep, beep, beep.
I was like pretending like I couldn't click the button the whole show. I was like, oops.
You're like, sorry, mine's broken. I don't know why.
I'm just trying to make sure it's not stuck. Oh, did I win again? That's crazy.
No, the whole time, every time I got it, I'd be like, oopsie, I didn't even want to answer.

And then this last round, I go

every fucking second, and like

Brandon and Heather were looking

at me like, oh, now you know how to click the button. I was like,

I got like 4,000 points, and I was like,

thank you. No, that's every girl on a first

date. You're like, I don't know how to read

the menu. And then like three dates in,

you're like, everything you're going to change about yourself

if you want this to work.

And everyone's like kind of scared. Like at the end, they're like, where the fuck come from and I go I don't know I don't know her I was trying to suppress her.
So did you win? Yes. I won so funny she gave me a skipping rock because it's like a fake game show.
You saw that yeah. And they give me the rock and I'm like this is funny.
Then I walk off stage and one of the producers like puts his hand out for me to give him back the rock. I go, this is my trophy.
He goes, do you want to keep the rock? I go, yeah, I want to fucking keep the rock. And he's like, okay.
And I'm like, don't fucking take my trophy away, you sick fuck. I'm a winner.
Wait, they were like, the props department actually needs this. CBS sent a really weird email tomorrow.
They're like, we think there was a mix-up. Then I called Des.
And he goes, I go, hey, babe. And he goes, did you fucking win? I go, yeah.
He goes, oh, my God. It's like, Jesus Christ.
Like, chill the fuck out. You never learn your lesson.
You never learn. Like, no one cares.
That's my husband. He goes, oh, my God.
Oh, you had to win. Wait, I love when you say husband.
It always, like, freaks me out. So crazy.
No, it's so crazy. So crazy.
I'm like, you're what? Well, people, how's your husband? And I'm like, shut the fuck up. And it's not because I'm, like, obviously, like, trying to be single around town.
It's just, like, not good for the brand. It's not the vibe.
Literally, someone called in on Burner phone last week. They were like, hey, so I'm married.
Ew. And Des and I are dying laughing.
Like, it's, no, like, it's so. No, it's like, stop.
No. It's literally like, we can be, but like, don't tell people.
Don't fucking say it out loud. Yeah, like, that's so weird.
Don't say it out loud. Also, like, I feel like weddings are changing where, like, everyone should just be getting, like, a small, intimate gathering where you look super hot with a photographer.
We need small, intimate gathering merch. I mean, it needs to happen.
We're working—you guys, we're working on a change in the merch. No, sorry about our merch.
This is the thing about the merch. We are switching companies currently.
How many times do you say merch? We're switching companies for our merch because as you know page and i mostly page takes fashion very seriously and yeah and our merch company literally just like tried to like bring us into the illuminati we're like no we can't go we have to leave you guys so look out for a new merch drop i know it's been years then i did shows and then oh i I interviewed some Love is Blind cast. How were they? They were great.
Because they're just like. Of the most recent season? I think it was like a combination.
But there was like the Jimmy guy, which was funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I didn't watch it because I can't watch reality TV. I watched it.
But everyone says it was amazing. Yeah.
I said on this podcast that I think Jimmy looked like a thumb. So so that's awkward i may i may not i mean i'll i'm gonna post the video soon it was actually he was very because he's like he's really nice he's southern so like they're just silly they're silly i had no idea that's definitely a word for them oh i went to kevin hart's production company's brunch oh sorry we forgot about it sorry sorry forgot what Sorry.
Forgot. And how was that? Well, I was like, I saw Kevin Hart twice this week already.
Yeah. And they were like, do you want to come to his brunch? And I was like, honestly, the guy's everywhere.
There was a giggler. I know.
There was a giggler on his team. So the gigglers.
Stop. The gigglers are so successful.
And they're so beautiful. No, like every time I meet a giggler, I'm like, you are gorgeous.
And I can tell when they're like a little more page than Hannah, like page coded or not. This girl was actually page coded.
It's so funny because when the Hannahs come up to me, that's the first thing they say to me. They're like, we get it.
Like, we're not your vibe. And I'm like, I didn't even say anything.
We're at a bodega. I don't even know what's going on right now.
So my favorite is when the gigglers come up to me with two of them and one of them goes she's my Hannah and then there's some girl comes up like hey and I'm like me and you girl and just like the pretty she like walks out from the bathroom she's like hey and it's always perfect I'm like this is perfect whoever has a slick black bun I'm like your page and they're wearing bows like it's actually like no there you can spot them in a second in a second so yeah the brunch was fun I ran to Chelsea again but this is where you have Chelsea on there sorry you have to be careful you don't want to overdo it you guys what I've learned end on top get a laugh move on get a laugh move always be moving get a laugh move don't stay to see yourself become the villain yeah that's what I've learned before that go home so I was hanging out with Harry Jowsey who's just you know picked us picked us up in an orange Lamborghini is he a real person no he's an AI Australian man but honestly's so fucking sweet, and I've known him for years. I saw him from a distance at the LA Fashion Awards.
Huge. I think he was just at, like, it was at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
I think he just happened to be at the hotel. When I walked in, the first thing I thought was, who is that huge guy over there? Ginormous.
And then I was like, oh, that's Harry Jossie. And I just was not expecting him to be massive.
Huge. But like, it was just so LA, like driving in a, I was like, can you even spell Lamborghini? Like, where did, how did this even happen? Yeah.
It's orange. So we show up to Kevin Hart's, like, rental.
He's really successful from OnlyFans, right? Too. And people don't even know.
See, it's so funny. Literally, the Dublin portal got shut down because of a woman on OnlyFans just swinging his dick around.
He said he just shows his butt. That's what he said.
Oh, yeah, I met Jeff Ross. I met Kevin Hart's photographer.
He's my boy now. What a crazy

job. This guy travels around

with Kevin Hart everywhere.

Just takes pictures of him? At all times.

No, I need that.

Give me that guy's number.

I will. He literally just is everywhere

rolling. And Kevin has like a huge

The amount of times I've thought

if I just had a fucking photographer at all times

I'd always get the shot.

Have you seen that Miss USA thing?

No. Something weird

Thank you. The amount of times I've thought if I just had a fucking photographer at all times, I'd always get the shot.
Have you seen the Miss USA thing? No. Something weird's happening in the Miss USA universe.
Miss USA stepped down. Oh.
And usually like when someone steps down, like the first runner up like immediately takes the spot and like whatever And usually people only step down because, like, I don't know, like insane things.

Steps down.

Person, first runner-up, doesn't accept it.

Says, nope.

Then Miss Teen USA steps down.

First runner-up says, nope.

Miss USA puts out a statement, like, that she's, like, stepping down. Now down.
Now there's only like a couple months left of her term, of her term. So they're like, this is crazy.
The first letter of every sentence of the statement she put out spelled out, I'm silenced. And typically they run like the social media account for themselves.
And like you can see their real personality and whatever.

And Miss USA put out a thing that like that will no longer be allowed.

Like someone from the company will run their social media like when they win.

So people are like, that's weird.

And no one's saying anything.

You're telling me the Miss Universe USA company is toxic? It's a scholarship program, not a beauty pageant. Just kidding.
No, so we don't know what's going on. Even as a young girl, I did not support that shit.
Pageants? Pageantry? I don't support it. And I know Miss Universe is like, oh, these are the smart ones.
Look, the fact that we The fact that we're raiding women. Yeah.
Can we not? No, pageants are. And I support women in the arts.
For sure. Like, if you're going to do it, win.
I support you. Go off.
But like, no. We saw what happened to Raquel.
Like, just don't. You know what else we didn't talk about? I don't know why this just made me think of it.
Gypsy Rose Blanchard doing a Mother's Day video. And just being like, I'm allowed to feel how I feel about my mom and on Mother's Day I choose to think about the good times.
Did someone come and go, what happened? Please explain. Story time.
64 part story time. And people were just like, this is so insane.
But then other people were like, well, she is allowed to, like, feel how she wants to feel. Like, the woman did, like, abuse her her entire life.
And it's like, yes, but she also plotted her murder. And look, I think anyone— I kind of love that she's addressing it.
I think it's weird if she didn't. Like, being quiet on Mother's Day, that's fucking awkward.
At least say something.

And look, if you abuse a child in any capacity, I think, like, automatic death penalty.

Like, I think this woman should be dead, like, for what she did to a child.

It's a very complex, layered thing.

Yes.

And the woman birthed her, and they clearly had great times together.

And she was like, she's still my mom, which is, like, I get valid.

like it is there is a layer

where you're like

okay that's still

like the woman

who

Thank you. They clearly had great times together.
And she was like, she's still my mom. Which is like, I get valid.
Like, it is, there is a layer where you're like, okay, that's still like the woman who gave me life. But I was just like, what a, get ready with me as I describe how I plotted my mom's murder.
Things that would send our forefathers into a literal coma. Gypsy Rose Wanderer talking about her mom's murder on TikTok.
Can you spell Munchausen? Absolutely no. It's giving German.
It is. Yeah, I love how I missed all this news because I was in La La Land.
No, you were literally meeting the AT&T girl. That's what the Illuminati does.
They don't let you see what's happening in the real fucking world. That's what they fucking do.
They distract you with celebrity and shiny things. I'm like, our portal is shut down.
No one's doing anything. How about we know what's happening in Dublin? Dublin.
Also, shout out, I do have shows in Dublin and London. I have a couple tickets left.
Go for it. I don't know if this is my personality.
I don't know if my mom was onto something when she said I was like my dad. Or if it's because I'm a Scorpio.
But when I'm mad about something, it takes me two full years, two full weeks, ten business days. A solid ten business days.
To get mad. To calm down.
Oh, I love how I got everything wrong. To calm down.
So if I'm mad on a Friday, you better believe that Monday I'm still ripping. I'm still fuming.
See, I'm like never, as a Leo, I'm never mad. Yeah.
But then once I am, I will lose all the friendships because I will say the real shit. And then I'll be fine after.
It takes me so long to get mad. But then I'm there and I'm like, well, I'm not going to waste it.
Who else needs a dressing? I lied. I'm mad for the rest of my life.
I'm mad for the rest of my life. I'm mad for the rest of my life.
Once I realize I legitimately am righteously mad, why would I un-mad myself? I did the reunion on a Friday. I'm going through the airport on a Tuesday.
Told someone to fuck off. What did they do? Piss me off.
What did they do? They pissed me off. They said, do you want oat milk or skim milk? Because I fuck you.
Fuck you. First of all, let me just preface.
We're at LaGuardia Airport so you can throw a

fuck you out there

anytime.

That's like saying hello.

There was this like

older woman

like full on mom

but like older than that

who was like mad.

She was behind me in line.

She was like mad

that I was in front of her

in line and like

didn't feel like I was

doing the line correctly.

Now I travel

literally once a week.

You know a line.

I know the security line.

I know how to get

through the line.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I don't know a lot.
I know how to get through a line. And that's a double entendre.
So anyway so she's like trying to say something to me and I literally don't even know what's going on. Like I am like wait.
You're definitely not trying to talk to me right now. Yeah I just I was like, what? Like I literally said, what? And she just like kept going that like I wasn't doing the line right.
And I was just like, okay, lady, like it's Friday morning. I'm like, I'm exhausted.
It's a full week later from the reunion. So I get through security.
I get my bags off the belt. And I'm walking by her to go to my gate.
And I could tell she's like thinking of something up in her head to say to me and I'm just like lady I don't give a fuck what you're about to say to me and I could tell she's starting to say like I hope you have and I just look at her and I go fuck you and I keep walking and I'm so she didn't even say anything yet no no in the line she had started, she had started chirping me. I know, but for all we know, she was about to sneeze.
Apologize. She was about to apologize.
She could have been apologizing. For all we know, and I hit her with, fuck you.
And I walk by, and I'm like, I feel lighter. I feel lighter.
I immediately call my mom, because I'm like, wait, what? I'm like, I'm shaking. Then you cry.
I go, mom, I just got into a fight with a lady. In the line of the airport, I'm going to do a physical altercation.
I've been shot. I tell my mom the entire story, thinking like, oh, my God, wait.
Then I have anxiety. Like, was I wrong? Was I in the wrong? I tell my mom the whole story.
My mom goes, good for you. And I was like, yep.
And I knew it. All you need is your mom being like, you were right.
And then I'm gone. I'm away from it.
You need one friend to say, exactly to say exactly and you're like and that's it so I'll bring LaGuardia right down you read you just redid it that I'll burn it down shout out to my papa my other grandpa who I don't talk about enough because he's alive and love my life alive and well gets no love no love because he's a literal angel grandpa in heaven it is like, wow, the gigglers love me. Yeah, my current papa, he doesn't listen whenever it gets sexual or the fart stuff.
We don't do that to papa. I think he has to tell my nana what we said because she can't hear.
Right. So he actually is the ultimate giggler.
It's such a love story. My papa has one of the funniest stories because he's a tough guy from Brooklyn, right? And apparently he was walking the subway the subway apparently and he tells a story about how he was like I saw this guy and he was gonna mug me you know when you could just tell he's gonna mug me no papa but keep going he was walking to I could tell he was gonna mug me he goes so I just turned and I broke his fucking nose and me me and my brother were like,

what if he wasn't going to rob you?

You and your brother are five,

and you're like,

Papa, what?

I thought, what?

No, there are different rules in New York,

because when I called Craig and told him that story,

he goes, you said fuck you. I go, it's LaGuardia.

You can literally, that's how we greet each other in the morning if I were to do that to someone I would then they'd be sitting next to me on the flight they would be like they would be the whole day I'm immediately on the phone with my mom I was like wait she looked like a bitch that would live in Charleston if she's on my flight good I have more shit to say. But she wasn't.
No, so my papa, the story's so crazy because he was so proud of himself. He's like, I can tell this motherfucker was coming for me.
No, I'm proud of him. What if he just had a long day at work and he's going home and he's so tired.
He's about to see his family. That guy's version to his grandkids? Very different.
Very different I was like you broke his nose like Jesus Christ he goes then I had to get a rhinoplasty I couldn't afford the surgery I never got to go to college I never make eye contact with an Italian and you're like okay and with that said thank you for giggling with us. We have, we added second shows to a lot of the shows that sold out.

So if you were like, shoot, I missed it.

Go to our website right now.

I don't know why you're going to say www.amandaplease.com.

GiggSquad.edu.

Wait, why are we not GigglySquad.edu? Wait wait we could have probably bought that so cheap too

net like.org that's probably illegal yeah okay we'll talk to you guys later we miss you so much bye thumbtack presents the ins and outs of caring for your home. Out.
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