Giggling about roasting, the Illuminati, and Gucci

Speaker 1 Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad. Head home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch.

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Speaker 1 So I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said, I have nothing to wear, while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch.

Speaker 1 So I started listing them on Depop and honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over and someone out there will be obsessed with them.
And the best part, there's no seller fees, none.

Speaker 1 So the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy.
I listed something while watching TV and it sold before the episode even ended.

Speaker 1 Depop isn't just one aesthetic either, it's all of them. Minimal, streetwear, date night, whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it.

Speaker 1 So, download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite.

Speaker 1 And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode, where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style Hotline.

Speaker 1 We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at gigglystylehotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show.

Speaker 1 Depop, where taste recognizes taste.

Speaker 2 Sup, gigglers, Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

Speaker 1 We can't be managed.

Speaker 2 I mean, the day just got away from me.

Speaker 1 Hello, gigglers, gigglers. We're jet lagged.

Speaker 1 No, we're not. Okay, sorry, we're I'm jet lagged.
I went to Barcelona four months ago and I'm jet lagged. Just kidding, I didn't.
I came from LA yesterday. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My left eye is twitching so bad that that I couldn't put my eyeliner on. Has that ever happened to you? Like it was twitching.
I was like chasing it.

Speaker 1 Have I ever been tweaking out so hard that I can't do my makeup? Yeah,

Speaker 1 for sure. So it's 9 a.m.
We're fighting for our life, but we are like, we have so much shit to talk about. This is like our version of witching hour.
Like I woke up this morning, it was like 7.30.

Speaker 1 I was like, am I legit getting up to go do giggly school? I was like, shit needs to be talked. Let's go.
I didn't even wake up Dez. I was like, this is not for you.
I also, like, I miscalculated.

Speaker 1 I mean, I live in Guam.

Speaker 1 I straight up commute to work.

Speaker 1 No, like, you have one place you have to physically be each week and you chose the farthest possible apartment. 20 minutes into my drive.
I'm like, hmm.

Speaker 1 This is interesting. This is interesting.
I even contemplated, I was like, I might have to start taking the subway there. And then I laughed to myself.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm never right, but like, was I low-key kind of right? No, I spoke up about it.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing: when like you are best friends with someone, when your best friend says something that's like 100% right, completely valid, like if anyone else said it, you would be like, Yes.

Speaker 1 When they say it, you immediately ignore it

Speaker 1 because you're like, No, that bitch is crazy. She's psychotic.
She doesn't even know what's happening. And then, like, it comes to fruition.
You have to just be like, you have to just ignore it.

Speaker 1 I'm not even mad for you not listening because I assumed you weren't gonna listen.

Speaker 1 Because, like, you thought that I was like low-key trying to force you to live next door to me, which is valid, which was so true. I just kept sending her apartments next to you.

Speaker 1 Dude, I truly feel like that because, like, sometimes I'll be thinking about like manifesting my life, or like my literal partner will be like, Where do you want to live?

Speaker 1 And in my head, I think, well, my kids have to go to school with Hannah's kids. So I'm waiting for her to decide if she's full-time Hamptons or full-time Brooklyn

Speaker 1 because then I could make a better informed decision. Actually, someone asked me about kids recently and I was like, well, Paige isn't ready.
Isn't ready.

Speaker 1 And they were like, how does the math have anything to do with you? And I said, Paige isn't ready yet. We're going to be like 75.
And be like, oh, we never did it.

Speaker 1 I'm like, well, you never picked a place to live. And you're like, well, you never were ready for kids.
I was like, okay, well, now we're here. You live so far away from where we record our podcast.

Speaker 1 You never made it. If Paige never comes again, we know what happens so i was in hollywood

Speaker 1 i've joined the illuminati yeah i do have to say grace said something hilarious because i walked in and that was my line i said hi i'm back i joined the illuminati and she goes i feel like the illuminati is like kind of chuggy

Speaker 1 wait

Speaker 1 I feel like millennials are obsessed with the Illuminati and Gen Z is like, okay, get over it. Like, cults, it's whatever you want to believe.
And we're like, okay.

Speaker 1 I was like, sorry, you know how hard it was to meet Kat Williams and join the Illuminati and then you just call it juki.

Speaker 1 She also said your skin was so good, which is crazy, which could be part of being in the Illuminati, the baby's blood, yeah.

Speaker 1 Or I got like a little bit of vitamin D for the first time because I was walking in LA. Yeah, I low-key like had two.
Why do I keep saying low-key?

Speaker 1 I, yeah, you're just so fucking LA. Is that

Speaker 1 I was watching your stories. Like, sometimes when you're not in New York, I don't know why, not when you're in like other places in the country,

Speaker 1 really just specifically LA.

Speaker 1 I watch your stories as if I don't know you. Wait, that's the biggest thing in my head.

Speaker 1 Because I feel like sometimes you don't watch my stories. Like you're kind of like you watch it in like a like, yeah, I know I was with her.
Like I don't right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Like I can click through because I'm like, oh, I was there or like, oh, I know, she told me about LA. I'm like an alcoholic.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping that you comment on it. Like sometimes when you're like, you have like your hand up and you're doing like 0.5 like stories, I'm like, who is she? She's living her best life.

Speaker 1 I literally have to go through the week. Like I thought last episode was like the craziest story ever and my week was going to go downhill.

Speaker 1 LA threw so many fucking crazy well you like extended your trip. You're like, sorry, I'm not going to be back till I was there for 2025.
People were starting to get sick of me.

Speaker 1 They were like, do you live here now? And I was like, okay, time to leave.

Speaker 1 After I spoke to the gigglers, the next day, I went to the roast.

Speaker 1 Yes. We haven't even talked about this.
We haven't even talked. We talked about the roast.
No, we haven't even talked. We haven't even talked.
I have so many questions. Did you watch it?

Speaker 1 Fully through. Start to finish.
I've squeezed anything. Full through.
A.M. fucking A.

Speaker 1 Oh, she pulled out her phone. Oh, she has notes.
She's notes. She has so many notes.
Okay, now.

Speaker 1 As a viewer watching it live, everyone's talking about Kim Kardashian, and I just like love that she stole the show. First of all, this is my first statement I want to say.

Speaker 1 I thought she crushed it i have so much to say so kim was two tables in front of me which is crazy crazy because we're sitting there for five hours like i sat with you like you five breathed in some of the air the air that she exhaled i'm a little mad because i think once she looked at me like the one time i was filming her So I was kind of a Kim.

Speaker 1 Or maybe she was like, is that the Giggly Squad girl? Yeah. No.
No, I feel like she did. She didn't come up to me and be like, oh, I know every pretty girl in LA, and how do I not know you?

Speaker 1 She didn't, Jen Garter comes in. Jen Garter commented on our Instagram she did what did she say she like all these hearts and stuff

Speaker 1 oh yeah didn't Jennifer Gardner comment on our Instagram what'd she say a lot of emojis

Speaker 1 oh yeah she posted a grandma which is so funny I love her okay shout out Jen no I'll literally throw myself in front of a busy much capital one okay so

Speaker 1 so anyway,

Speaker 1 we actually we sit down and I've never been to like an award show. It felt like an award show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was sitting like right up and everyone's kind of looking around.

Speaker 1 Jim Gaffigan stands up. He's sitting at Chelsea Handler's table and he starts walking like away from this table.

Speaker 1 And I turn to my friend I go, that's Jim Gaffigan. Like we know each other.

Speaker 1 That's Jimmy.

Speaker 1 that's jimmy that's old jim old jim doing his thing i realized he's walking towards me oh he's walking towards me and then i realized he just came to like stand here and gossip with me like he literally is like so like what's who's who's that tick tocker over that like wait at one point like he's so good at at like having the tea but not being a gossiper oh yeah because he's joking yeah he's kidding he asked me like who one comic was and then at one point we were just laughing and he goes why are the kids choking these days?

Speaker 1 And I was like, I'm not into it. I'm

Speaker 1 not joking.

Speaker 1 And then we find out he grew up in the place in Indiana where my brother lives. And they're so anyway.
It's very cosmic. It was very cosmic.
So Jim and I are best friends.

Speaker 1 And I couldn't even process, like to the point where I was like, Jim, do you want a photo? Like, what are we doing?

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 1 I just want to say one thing.

Speaker 1 When you were sitting there and Kim went up to do her thing, her set, was the whole place booing or was it let me give you yeah every moment so first of all we all sat down and the roast was like a the second it was about to start Kim and her publicist just like very quietly sneakily

Speaker 1 knew she was coming no one knew she was coming and she really like people were like mad about that too that what

Speaker 1 I saw like clips on TikTok that comedians were like, oh, she, why is she above other celebrities?

Speaker 1 They didn't tell them because they knew that like all the comedians would make a joke about her if she was there. Well, let's be honest.

Speaker 1 If all the comics were making jokes about her, people would have been annoyed because it's the Tom Brady Rose and like, leave Kim alone. Okay.
Leave Kim.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yep.
Let me begin. Yeah.
So she gets and she's super, she's just sitting there and she's so cute. Like I'm watching her.

Speaker 1 Like, she's literally like watching, turning to her friend, giggling, checking her phone. She's a girl.
She's like, she's literally just

Speaker 1 a girl. She's a little girl.
She's just a girl. And like, yeah, she has a ton of drama with the other most famous woman in the world right now.

Speaker 1 But like, at the end of the day, they're both just girls. They're both girls, girl hooding.
Yeah. So we had no idea she was going to go up.
The second I hear them call her name,

Speaker 1 I immediately am nervous for her. Yeah.
Because I was like, Kimberly? Yep. Noelle.
Kardashian. I know the whole world's watching.
Like to see someone and she's not. No, I would have thrown up.

Speaker 1 It's not like she's a football player about to play football. Like this is crazy.
So I'm watching her. Right, it's not like she's in her element doing something.
She's outside of her box.

Speaker 1 And in that moment, I realized, like, this is why she's so successful.

Speaker 1 Like, either she's an AI robot or like she is just, she handled this moment with such calmness and grace because she not only went up and did the joke, she went up and like murdered. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, like, is funny. Just

Speaker 1 holy murder.

Speaker 1 So what happened is she got up and the crowd was very like, ooh, and then it kind of turned into some booze But there's also like 20,000 people So like which is insane not everyone was booing It's just there's so many people and I immediately am upset.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I stand up because she could see me I stand up

Speaker 1 Wait, you're you're like that's my friend

Speaker 1 You're not gonna do that to my friend in front of me.

Speaker 1 I don't care in this moment. I know she needs me.

Speaker 1 I stand up and I start clapping like this

Speaker 1 because why are we acting like Kimberly Noel Kardashian has done anything worse than any of the men on that stage? Kardashians never beaten her wife. No, has done anyone on the stage? Probably.

Speaker 1 Sorry to everyone sitting on the stage. We don't actually think that.
Allegedly,

Speaker 1 just in mathematics,

Speaker 1 one of you has to have. In mathematics, there's one of you that has.
One of you has

Speaker 1 hit a girl. Hit a girl.

Speaker 1 Or at least been rude to a girl. Yeah.
More than or gave an STD to a girl. A hundreds or put girls in therapy

Speaker 1 yeah there was a bunch of football players up there they've done some

Speaker 1 okay if i was stuck in a forest would you rather be stuck with kimberly noel kardashian or any of those

Speaker 1 i would well gronk is one i would be like beat that bear up he'd be like 100

Speaker 1 um take the shot glass break shard of glass into the bear's eye Okay, as a viewer,

Speaker 1 we couldn't tell the booze. Yeah, like we couldn't hear them.
So she's a genius because she was just playing to the camera. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's what's interesting about comedy is you have to, you can either play to the room or the camera. We're like, Ben Affleck was playing to the camera, like completely bombing.

Speaker 1 But I was looking at my.

Speaker 1 Oh, no one booed him. Well, because everyone was confused.
Like, no one knew what was happening. Or they were like, maybe this is a lead up to something.

Speaker 1 I thought it definitely had to be. I was like,

Speaker 1 there's going to be a crazy reveal. There's going to be a crazy beat drop.
He's leading up to something. And then when it was serious, I was like, oh, this guy is,

Speaker 1 this guy's speaking from his own experience, from his own heart.

Speaker 1 This guy went roguer than Gronk. But also, I feel like there was going to be a moment where you just see Tom Brady with his hand on his shoulder.
Like, it's going to be okay, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, calm down, first of all. It was like, it was the one part of the roast where, like, I was there for four hours.
It was the only time I lost focus.

Speaker 1 Here's another thing I'll say about Kim Kardashian and the booze. First of all, anyone who goes somewhere and boos not at a sporting event, immediate jail time.
What are you, what are you doing? No.

Speaker 1 No, like we're you're booing? You're booing someone expressing themselves? No, that's like clapping on a plane. Like keep your hands to yourself and shut your mouth.

Speaker 1 But it's so funny how people were mad she was there, but then they were also mad that she didn't make it about her and let all the comics.

Speaker 1 It's like she's not on the stage also let's just point out everyone sitting in the that crowd they're football fans they're fans of tom brady that's like a different crowd i'm sure like the majority of the people are from boston yeah which like shout out to boston because that's our favorite place to do giggly squad yeah but i will say i would be very weary of men who like loathe Kim Kardashian.

Speaker 1 No, that is such a red flag. A man

Speaker 1 lose a woman. It's kind of like if you break it down, men that like really hate Kim Kardashian is because they hate that she like flipped the script on all of them.
They hate that she

Speaker 1 became famous because, yes, she had a sex tape, so she used her body. So the men were like, you can't do that.
You're not allowed to use it. We choose when you're hot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we choose when you're not a whore.

Speaker 1 Then she was like, oh, actually, I'm real, I'm also super fucking smart. And like, I'm going to be a lawyer and I'm going to do all of this thing.

Speaker 1 And the men were like, no, you you can't be both you can't be like this sex icon and smart and she's like well actually I can and I'll be like a billionaire out of it so like the men that like loathe her existence freak me out yeah because it's like what are you so mad about and then I really took it back and I was like what does my dad think my dad loves her my dad loves her too loves her but like not in a creepy way no it's like oh yeah she's she's killing it yeah Kim Kardashian she crashes and so then I was like

Speaker 1 interesting interesting keep that in the back of your mind ladies once That is such a great thing to ask a guy on a first date. Yeah.
Do you thoughts on Kim Kardashian? Is Peter a lover?

Speaker 1 Peter or lover. And if they're like, oh, I don't really have an opinion, great, better.
Give him a blowjob. He doesn't even know what's going on.

Speaker 1 He's dumber than you expected, and that's great for us. I've always been obsessed with like,

Speaker 1 I've always been obsessed with like successful people. I can't wait for Chris to go on

Speaker 1 a date now. And he's like, someone just asked me if I love or hate Kim Kardashian, and that's scaring me.

Speaker 1 Okay, I do think eventually we should do some sort of dating show with Chris and the Gigglers because the Gigglers all want to fuck Chris. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they don't know what he looks like or what he's doing. Which is such a

Speaker 1 great thing to do because we're women in the arts. We are creative.
We're going to make

Speaker 1 a scenario. They heard his voice and also they like that he gets our humor.
Yes. So honestly, marriage material.
Yeah, there's something there. Chris, don't get your head all big.

Speaker 1 Look at him looking at it. Even if we made it just like a, like

Speaker 1 some clips like we don't even have to do a full date like we center me yeah we'll decenter you

Speaker 1 i love that um so anyway yeah kim when she walked on stage and the average person wouldn't be able to handle that moment or the average person would be like actually i'd rather stay home because i'm rich no could you imagine standing up on a stage and 20 000 people just booing and then all these like hot i would have started watching you laughing and then i would have passed out

Speaker 1 I'd have been like, this is actually insane. And then I'm like, it's too much.
It's overload.

Speaker 1 She just faints. The fact she didn't faint was iconic.

Speaker 1 I'm like, if she didn't immediately go backstage and vomit,

Speaker 1 then she should be president. Did it? Sat back down and enjoyed the rest of the show.
No, and then at the end, then the very last guy that went.

Speaker 1 I mean, he just like eviscerated her when he said like, oh, speaking of a whale's vagina, I go, if you say Kimberly Noel, I will lose my fucking mind. And she just sat there and was like, good one.

Speaker 1 No, that's hilarious. Also, when you're a girl on the roast, it's like they're going to make fun of your pussy.
Wait, that's the other thing. It's like, good one.

Speaker 1 Good. Whales, good.
I made Craig watch Bridgerton with me this weekend because I'm getting ready for the new season. And every like other word.
Because I'm training for the new season.

Speaker 1 I'm literally training.

Speaker 1 I've watched all of them.

Speaker 1 And every other word or like why you can't do something, I'm like, well, he would like ask a question. I'm like, no, they can't do that because they're a girl.

Speaker 1 And he's like, well, why can't they get married? I'm like, because she's considered a whore.

Speaker 1 So they can't. And he was the men made these rules.
No, and he was

Speaker 1 baffled about it. And I was like, okay, it's not that much different today.

Speaker 1 Literally, they wanted to kill Kim Kardashian because she got fucked on camera and now is a billionaire and they can't handle it. So it's literally nothing has changed.

Speaker 1 Oops, sorry. That's the police coming for you.

Speaker 1 It's the Illuminati. They're like, she's figured out too much.

Speaker 1 She called us Chuki.

Speaker 1 Wait, we would have beef with the Illuminati. Like,

Speaker 1 can you imagine someone coming to us? If we disappear, it was the Illuminati. Yeah, we're like, we just feel like you guys are doing too much.
Cat Williams is like, I told you that

Speaker 1 you talked to him.

Speaker 1 I can do like 20% Cat Williams.

Speaker 1 You can do someone doing Cat Williams.

Speaker 1 He's absolutely right about that,

Speaker 1 she's absolutely right.

Speaker 1 Thanks for doing this to know what Jennings.

Speaker 1 Wait, that was really good. That last one was good.
One more thing about Kimberly Noelle. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll make a whole Tiber podcast about her. Do not come for her vagina because we all know for a fact, I've seen her wear these bikinis.
The girl has a marble vagina.

Speaker 1 There's there's not even a hole. No, I don't even know how she got pregnant.

Speaker 1 It's a sliver. We all know, we've all seen it.
Oh, god. So anyway, I love her so much.

Speaker 1 But then the tea that I want to give the gigglers is there's an after-party, yes, which I heard Tom didn't even go to. Tom and Kimberly didn't even go.

Speaker 1 So people, I think, were trying to be like, where's Tom and Kim? Where's Tom and Kim? Pardon me was like, Kim, if you're going to show up,

Speaker 1 have sex with him. Wait.
And I don't mean it in like a you deserve, like, I mean, this is a hot take, though. I feel like Tom.

Speaker 1 Really? Because I feel like Tom gives Kim the ick.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I feel like, I feel like when Tom initially got single, Kim was like, wait, this could be so cool. And then Tom did something.
She was like, wait, no.

Speaker 1 Because I just don't think you can go from the type of guys that Kim has been dating. Pete Davidson and Tom Brady are two of the most different people.

Speaker 1 You can't go, you can't go funny guy swag

Speaker 1 to meathead athlete. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I don't. Pretty boy.
Funny is definitely not his thing.

Speaker 1 100% no. But those are literally the men that I would go for back in the day.
The ones who were like so tall, so beautiful, so not funny. And then I'd wonder why something was off.

Speaker 1 Because you have to be smart to be funny. And that's what Victoria Beckham told me.

Speaker 1 And she remembered. And I am out there.

Speaker 1 three years later. Um, so I get into the after party and first of all, wait, your outfit.
Oh, oh, so I found my stylist. Yeah, I mean, that's your stylist.
I found my stylist, having the Sanchez.

Speaker 1 Shout out to you.

Speaker 1 She just starts pulling outfits for me, right? Yeah, and I'm like, what is this? And she goes, 2004 Dolce. Don't the fashion world is sometimes so no one says dolce and cabana.
They only say dolce.

Speaker 1 It's that dolce vita lifestyle. Yeah.
She just goes, she does dolce. Yeah.
And I was like, I don't know if this is going to like fit. Just like, I hope it fits.

Speaker 1 You immediately like put it on and you're like, yes, I'm a monster. Well, someone said they were like, um, dolce is made for like Sophia Loren.
Like they design it for voluptuous Italian women.

Speaker 1 So she was like, your body's actually perfect for it. Like a model would have to like get it.
cut up and stuff. She was like, this was made for your body.
And I said, bury me in this. No, literally.

Speaker 1 And I showed up so main character energy to that roast. You also

Speaker 1 just like, here's the other thing, like about fashion.

Speaker 1 When you're wearing something that like so feels you, like it changes your whole perception of things.

Speaker 1 Like, so when people are like, oh, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, you put too much pressure on it. Like, no, it literally connects to your energy and you're just.

Speaker 1 And you're treating me with respect.

Speaker 1 No, because you are probably walking in standing different, commanding a room different because you're like, I know that I fucking look so good and I love this outfit. I love it.

Speaker 1 Like, nothing could go wrong. My mom literally called me because I was like, why did they put me in, like, they put me like in the deadline article? Like, did you say those words?

Speaker 1 I thought Grace photoshopped it in and it was a bit. No, for real.
I called it. I called my mom.
I started dying laughing. I'm like, why did they do that? And she goes, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I was like, you hired Grace at deadline for two weeks. Or like, a giggler works at deadline.
It's a giggler. Definitely.

Speaker 1 A giggler definitely was like, wouldn't it be hilarious if we swapped Joan and Hannah? I genuinely feel like the gigglers are all around the country just like pranking us with certain shit.

Speaker 1 They're like, wait till they see this. They're going to die laughing.
It's like, we can't have our faces on a strip club.

Speaker 1 But it's giving Illuminati. No, it is.
So I called my mom and we were laughing about it. And she goes, well, this is what happens when you invest like time and energy into your outfit and your makeup.

Speaker 1 No, that is the most

Speaker 1 moment.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay,

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm trying really hard out here. Like, I'm tired.
I'm like trying to, like, I have a lot going on. I'm like, thank you.

Speaker 1 She's like, you're doing good, but just remember, you can always be better.

Speaker 1 She is. It's so funny.
I feel like her moms use each other against each other. I don't know, but I know.

Speaker 1 Because Kim, I know Kim is rooting for me, where my mom will be like, Paige puts effort every week into how she looks. Paige has time off.
You know what she does? She invests it in herself.

Speaker 1 And you see the results of it. My mom, my mom literally hit me the other day with one of the most diabolical sentences.

Speaker 1 I did something and she just straight face looked at me and she goes, you're a lot like your dad.

Speaker 1 And I was just like,

Speaker 1 wait, that's the meanest thing I've ever heard.

Speaker 1 No, I literally looked at her and like, at first, I was like, because my dad is like the nicest guy ever, like truly the most empathetic, the most compassionate. But he's not running the show.

Speaker 1 He's not running the show. But at any moment, he can just be like, fuck you.
Like he will switch at any moment. Not like,

Speaker 1 not like, oh, he's insane. But like, if someone does something, then he can switch.
So like, don't take my kindness for weakness. Exactly.

Speaker 1 So my first reaction was like, oh, thank you. And then I was like, fuck you.
Like, I was like, what the fuck does that mean?

Speaker 1 You compare me to a man. No, and I thought, I've thought about it every day since.
I'm like, what did she mean by that, though?

Speaker 1 It's so funny because last week I was feeling myself and I was like, I know people say I'm a lot like dad, but like, let's be honest, I'm like you. And she's like, you are?

Speaker 1 And I knew I, I've never, it was the nicest compliment I've ever got. And I was like, my homes, I don't want to be.

Speaker 1 No, there is like sometimes there will be moments with your mom where you're both like just girl, both being just like girls.

Speaker 1 And like your mom will say something, like, I'll say something to my mom, like that I'm afraid of or scared of. And I'm like, well, what would you do?

Speaker 1 And she'll say like, oh my God, you're so much smarter than me me anyway or like stronger or like like why are you even worried and in that moment you're like oh we're just like girls

Speaker 1 hanging yeah literally

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Speaker 1 So I get to the after party.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of the tea. I mean,

Speaker 1 Shane Gillis is hanging out with, like, in the corner with like Dave Chappelle.

Speaker 1 Dave is smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 1 I love that Dave does not abide by any

Speaker 1 smoke laws like anywhere. Like I'm pretty, like 1995, I think it was like a law.
You can't smoke anywhere. And Dave was like, not me.
Even cancer, he's like, nope. No.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're unsubscribed. Unsubscribed.

Speaker 1 Block. So they're there.
And then Tom Segura actually came up to me, said hi.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 also, I'm, so I'm best friends with Andrew Collin, who wrote some jokes. Shout out for Nikki on the Rose.
Which we didn't even know. I mean, we didn't even.

Speaker 1 Nikki, I mean, they really they had only a two woman on stage right and like that was a lot of pressure for her yeah she

Speaker 1 was so incredible and also the women are so overprepared she's done these so much she was i know all the guys were like practicing their set but i just knew that she was going in with like a vengeance like she had an extra chip on her shoulder yeah and then like throughout the whole rest of the roast a lot of the guys were like falling asleep like you couldn't see it but they were like okay nikki is sitting there laughing yeah high-fiving jeff ross like she's she's working she's work that bitch is working

Speaker 1 for her check yep and it's just so great for people to see how fucking amazing she is even that small difference with men and women men can sit there yep like what's like what's who's next

Speaker 1 we were joking was literally reading the teleprompter with his mouth lying there and reading it out loud and laughing imagine if nikki did not do that

Speaker 1 she can never imagine her on stage with her he like dragged her Yeah. And her to sit there for four hours.
In her tiny dress.

Speaker 1 Your shoulders must have hurt so much. She also looked really good.
And that's not important, but when she walked in, I kept trying to mouth. I said, you look beautiful.
No, she looked beautiful.

Speaker 1 She definitely had no idea what I was saying to her. She would be like, what? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, her hair color is the perfect blonde right now, I think. Yeah, so

Speaker 1 something about it. She's just like, she's glowing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And also, shout out to Nikki because when I was on the come up, she literally took me around to spots in Manhattan, like at the stand in the cellar. Like, imagine and literally,

Speaker 1 so she's my mentor. She's literally what we say, like, girls need to help girls who are like in the same profession.
She literally was like, Do you want to just come to some spots with me?

Speaker 1 And I just followed her around, asked her like the dumbest questions, and she answered it all. And it just felt like so it makes it feel touchable and tangible.

Speaker 1 So, shout out to Nikki. Um, so you're hanging out with Nikki.
Then, Gronk is just like talking to everyone. I went up to him and I was like,

Speaker 1 you're actually very smart. And he just was like, thank you.
And I was like, oh, God, that didn't quite well. Wait,

Speaker 1 I love. He was like one of the best parts of this show.
He was so Gronk. He was being so Gronk.

Speaker 1 If he wasn't like that, people would have been upset. And the funniest part about it was like everyone that was making jokes about him all night long, you're like, oh my God, wait, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 That's like blah, blah, blah. Then he gets up and says one word and you're like, wow, you just made everyone else's joke so much funnier because you are exactly what they describe.

Speaker 1 I could see the teleprompter. He went off the teleprompter for like two minutes to the point they gave Kevin Hart the mic to be like, maybe

Speaker 1 this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the thing why the roast also was so impressive because, like, we knew it could have been a complete shit show. Yeah.
And somehow it just wasn't. Kevin Hart did a great job

Speaker 1 keeping the flow. Yeah, that's such a

Speaker 1 good thing. He's such a talented professional host.
Side note. Oh, yeah.
Who do you think was the funniest i thought was the most attractive guy up there

Speaker 1 who do i think you thought was the best looking guy up on the stage like who would i be into oh my god not to make it about me um i would say i know who besides bill belich who was so funny literally imagine going on i think you're going tom or gronk jubledzo i was gonna say jubledzo jubletso

Speaker 1 his voice was so low i met him afterwards he's huge. I was just like talking to his belly button.

Speaker 1 And like funny. And also, he's the guy who, like, do you know the story of Drew Bledsoe? Yeah.
He's the fucking. This is everyone needs to watch it.
This is Voice Podcast. He's the star.

Speaker 1 His joke when he talked about his 30th wedding anniversary. That's so good.
That is funny. That was so good.
So he is the star. He's they call it a franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 They're paying him millions and millions of dollars. He gets completely obliterated.
His knees like falls off. Yeah.
He's in the hospital.

Speaker 1 His knees are are like, I quit. Falls off.
His knee was like, I'm going to kill myself. And then,

Speaker 1 so then they throw Tom in, this young quarterback. Yeah.
And he's like, does okay, does better. Next thing you know, they're like doing really well.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Drew Bledsoe finally is hailed and is like, what's up, guys? I'm ready to go back. I'm getting paid $10 million to be the star quarterback.

Speaker 1 And they Bill Belichick goes, actually, Tom's going to stay in. Sure, dude.
So he lost his job because he got injured and Tom became great. And then he got traded off.

Speaker 1 But he showed up to that room to be like, that was the hottest thing. Like I love a guy who is actually can laugh at himself.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, it's almost like more of an ick that Tom won seven Super Bowls. It's like gross.
Like Drew is like, no, guys. Stronger.

Speaker 1 Not that I'm just like.

Speaker 1 I'm not just like blindly like, oh, I hate men. Like sometimes, yes, but like

Speaker 1 this was one of those moments where I was just like, Tom Brady's literally giving me this.

Speaker 1 Well, also when Bill Belchick went on, the way he changed the way he was sitting, like he literally turned to him and was like, daddy, daddy, love me, daddy. It was so funny.

Speaker 1 I thought I was convinced at the very, very end, like before Tom got up, that Giselle was just going to walk out. There was murmurs that Giselle was there.
If they were in a better spot.

Speaker 1 personally, I think that would have been the funniest thing. Like if they were actually cool with each other and she walked out and was like, now I'm actually going to roast you.

Speaker 1 And it's just like yeah, they're definitely not there. No.
But also the fact that he got mad at the Robert Kraft massage joke, but then didn't care that everyone just ripped on his wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, didn't give a shit. The whole time.
Yeah. But Robert Kraft.

Speaker 1 Was that when he got up and said to Jeff Ross, like, don't say that?

Speaker 1 That made me, that gave me the ick. We, from the live audience, we didn't catch it.
Like, interestingly.

Speaker 1 It was not picked up to, like, we didn't hear it at all. I just know that Jeff Ross afterwards was like kind of apologizing to him, and Kevin Hart called him a little bitch, but we didn't really.

Speaker 1 When I heard the audio, I was like, okay,

Speaker 1 yeah, because it wasn't like that in the crowd. Also, Robert Kraft was like dying laughing.
He was at the after party.

Speaker 1 What was the joke even made? He, because Robert Kraft, it's like just a fact that he got in trouble because he like paid for a have a massage. Oh, fight a nickel.

Speaker 1 No, literally, if I had a nickel. Literally, if I had a nickel.
And that man has a lot of nickels. Yeah.
I'm sure that's not the worst thing he's paid for sexually.

Speaker 1 Come on. So, yeah, I saw Andrew Schultz at the after party.
And like, it was just all very fun. Yeah.
And I'm like, this has been amazing these two days. So I get home.

Speaker 1 And when I was getting my hair and makeup done, you know when there's just like chaos in the hotel room? I get back, can't find my charger, which is like a literal nightmare. I'm in a foreign land.

Speaker 1 No charger. I'm scared.
I'm alone. And I have to be up at 6 a.m.
for this charity golf tournament. What?

Speaker 1 Just wait. So it's, there's 4% of my phone.
So I like put it on airplane mode. I like freak out.
I somehow wake up in time. I charge it in the Uber.

Speaker 1 I get there and they're like, look, everyone's just here to play golf. No one's like trying to get interviewed, but like, if we get some interviews, fine.
Just like, let's see what happens.

Speaker 1 No pressure. Are you playing in it? So somehow I, yeah, I am playing in it also.
I ended up just playing with Jared Freed the whole time.

Speaker 1 Like, they were like, go play and network with new people. I was like, hey, Jared.
He was like,

Speaker 1 we've known each other for eight years. I was like, hey, we had so much fun, though.
But, like, we had so much gossip together.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Shout out to Jared.
I had so much fun playing with you. Like, actually, I'm so happy I played with you and not someone else because I would have like embarrassed myself saying something stupid.

Speaker 1 So I'm standing there. Jared made a Justin's peanut butter cup joke, and I don't know why.
I just like never forgot it. Like, it just like really stuck in my head.
Jared loves a food joke.

Speaker 1 He loves a food joke. Me and him were eating peanuts.
It was just really funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they go, Kat Williams coming. I did not think Kat Williams would be the first one to show up at the golf charity event.
I did not take him as a prompt.

Speaker 1 No, he's not prompt. I just, I just didn't think that.
Possible man.

Speaker 1 I think he like the night before had his like

Speaker 1 special or like tuna. I don't know.
I just didn't even think he was gonna show up. I'm like, oh, Kat Williams is here.
So I'm interviewing Rory Scoville, who's my favorite person.

Speaker 1 And Kat Williams is just watching. And apparently, they like, he was like, what's all this about? Yeah.
And like, he wasn't sure if he wanted to get interviewed. Yeah.
Don't know what happens.

Speaker 1 Next thing you know, he's walking towards me. And I was like, I'm freaking out.
I trained my whole life for this.

Speaker 1 I felt like a calmness.

Speaker 1 I looked this motherfucker in the eye and I said, Kat, your everyday I'm hustling beginning to a stand-up special was the greatest start of a Sam special and you inspired me to do comedy.

Speaker 1 He immediately like lights up. Yeah.
Like, happy. Because at the end of the day, he's a man, and all you got to do is compliment them one time.
But I would also argue, Kat Williams is a girl's girl.

Speaker 1 Oh, Kat Williams is gossiping. Yeah.
He's conspiring. Yep.
He's taking people down. Taking people down.
He's like, whatever, I'll say it. He's a girl's girl.

Speaker 1 So I was like, he's the girlfriend that is like, whatever, I'll text him and ask. Literally.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 to be I want to work toward that every single day to be that like whatever I don't give a fuck I'll text him so and I also he also came with a fit like looking like he put thought into his fit so the first question I have is go cat um what was your inspiration behind this album

Speaker 1 journey and he basically waits like eight seconds before answering and I'm like okay this isn't going great like literally give me anything yeah so he's like but he's like he thinks before he speaks yeah and then he starts going and I think I start giggling and next thing you know I'm like we're riffing And then he starts singing some song because I was like, how do you relax or something?

Speaker 1 He starts singing. I start singing with him.
He calls us Ebony and Ivory. I sang with him for like

Speaker 1 multiple minutes. And then finally, I asked, like, what's your least favorite golf rule? And he starts going on this whole rant about like, well, rules are made up.
Rules are this thing.

Speaker 1 Like, just talk about rules. And I'm like, you have to go for it.
Like, I felt like there was a moment there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just go, why do I feel like you don't know any golf rules with the way you answered that question? And he pauses and everyone is like tense. Did he laugh? He goes, wait, I watched the video.

Speaker 1 He goes, it takes a genius to know a genius.

Speaker 1 And then I just calmly look at the camera and go, Cat Williams just buried me. And he starts doing this hilarious dance.
Everyone's clapping. It was like the greatest moment of my life.

Speaker 1 This is the first interview.

Speaker 1 Did you call your dad and tell him? Well, I walk off and I go, guys, let's leave. Yeah, no, we got it.
There's nothing else for us to do. There's nothing for us to do here.
We got the show.

Speaker 1 Jared can hit by himself. Jared doesn't fucking need me.

Speaker 1 Like, I'll leave Jared for dead. I'm leaving.
I'm going home. I have to find a charger for my phone.

Speaker 1 But you know what? My phone is rapidly dying and I'm pretending I'm a professional. Women, literally,

Speaker 1 the craziest thing can be happening to us and we can just sit. Literally, Kim Kardashian was mood in front of...

Speaker 1 front of 20,000 people and she sat there with a smile on her face. Like we could be bleeding from our vaginas and we're just

Speaker 1 like, something could be going on, but in the back of your head, your phone's dying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but we're crazy. We're the crazy.
We're crazy.

Speaker 1 Do you know how bad it has to be for us to actually go crazy? No.

Speaker 1 Don't tempt me. Don't get me good there.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, we're done. Then they go, oh,

Speaker 1 Will Farrell's here. No.
So I told everyone, I go, Cat Williams was my North Star. I'm done.
Then I go, wait, wait, wait. Actually, Will Farrell's also my North Star.

Speaker 1 He was my,

Speaker 1 like, on the pod. I said.
He would be your number one. He's your,

Speaker 1 you love him. Give me a chance.
What is it called? What are the Gen Z doing? Hear me out. Hear me out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Will Farrell, when I say this man is an angel, an angel among us, first of all, it's making him giggle. Yeah.
I feel like he is also one of the girls. He's a girl's girl.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then at the end, like, I'm very, like, I want to do the interview quick and then I'm like, get out there. Like, sorry for wasting your time.
Please leave.

Speaker 1 He lay just stands there and he goes, are you playing? And I'm like, I can't handle this. No, he's like, just chatting up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then, of course, I'm like, you know, I was a tennis player, you know? Yeah. And he's like, oh, my wife loves tennis.
What's your opinion on pickleball?

Speaker 1 Next, you know, we're like having a funny thing.

Speaker 1 You're in a league together and you're like, how did we get here? But you know, when you have small talk with people throughout your life and then like you're having small, no,

Speaker 1 I try to avoid it at all times. But like, pickleball is a very standard small talk conversation for tennis players.

Speaker 1 So I'm having like a normal small talk conversation with Will Farrell and he's just so fucking crazy. No, that's.

Speaker 1 Because I actually don't ever remember him ever being like normal, like he's always doing a bit, yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, and he was like, Yeah, I'll see you out there, and I was like,

Speaker 1 Right, like even him coming out on the roast, like, he was doing a bit on top of a bit, he's always that's yeah, like I think that

Speaker 1 layers of bits, so many layers, he's a genius, yeah. So, that happens, and I'm like, How is today this more?

Speaker 1 Like, I never thought a morning would be a good experience for me, but I'm experiencing the best morning I've ever had. Then, Charlie Day comes out.

Speaker 1 I made fun of his mustache, named Charlie Day from Always Sunny. Yes.
I make fun of his mustache. You could tell it was like too early for me to do.
Like he was like, okay, like he's a nice guy.

Speaker 1 Like, okay, we're just trying to play golf for the kids. Yeah, and I literally was like,

Speaker 1 what the mustache? He was like, what? And then he was like, actually, it's for a role. And I'm like, that's literally the only answer.
Yeah. That's something.
Like, men would be like, military.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that's not a role that you need to have a mustache if you're in the military.

Speaker 1 They love to say it's a role. I'm not coming up.

Speaker 1 No, they always go for the military. I think it's because they can't have a beard, so they just go with a mustache and they blame the military.
Just go to therapy. Talk about your mom.
Let it out.

Speaker 1 Then I met Blake Griffin. Oh.
You know what? Shyer than I thought. Like, shyer, sweeter.
Not like a big, loud personality. Very,

Speaker 1 very sweet and funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He used to go out in the city. I would see him out a lot.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I never talked to him, though.

Speaker 1 He's kind of like laid back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, he's not laid-back, David Spade. Yeah, no, I could see that.
My new best friend, he was hilarious. Like, David Spade and I are friends now.
Did you guys exchange numbers?

Speaker 1 Did you see anyone on the plane going or coming there?

Speaker 1 On the plane, I saw the woman from,

Speaker 1 oh, God. Wait, I said it.
Le Pince.

Speaker 1 Karelipinski.

Speaker 1 The woman from the winter. Oh, the actor from.

Speaker 1 Yes. T-Mobile Verizon.
No. But yeah, that was at Erwant.

Speaker 1 There was one on the plane. plane.

Speaker 1 Me when anyone asks me a question. And then I, and then maybe, yeah.

Speaker 1 Me in any professional setting ever.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. I'm trying to figure out if there's any other people.
I met Bill Burr who was like. angry at 9 a.m.
Okay. So on brands.
Well, what

Speaker 1 you were missing in New York City where you were like out living your freaking crazy. I'm still name dropping.

Speaker 1 name dropping

Speaker 1 um I don't know if you saw but New York City made a portal which is as basically a video chat call with Dublin Dublin did you say that in Ireland

Speaker 1 some giggler out there is like how needs to see Des' other family

Speaker 1 they've already closed it shut down it's over people were showing their dicks a girl got a flasher tits yeah obviously and they were like which side New York or Dublin New York obviously

Speaker 1 I was like, this is why we can't have anything nice. This is why we can't have a nice name.
And I just like. Wait, I didn't know that.
It's gone. It like just happened like yesterday.

Speaker 1 They were like, and we're done with that. That was a great.

Speaker 1 Some kid in Dublin's just like cry.

Speaker 1 Mommy? No, but like the thing that I was like, was really annoying me.

Speaker 1 I was like, first of all, I blame, you know me, I blame everything on the mayor. Like, even if it has nothing to do with the mayor.
I'm just like, what?

Speaker 1 Why the fuck do we need a Zoom 24-7 with Ireland of all places? Like, what, like, what's going on in Ireland that I'm going to do? It's literally like chat roulette.

Speaker 1 No, I'm like, stop calling it a portal. You're freaking everyone out.
You're freaking everyone out.

Speaker 1 You're a portal Zoom that's probably going to end in 45 minutes because those timers are really finicky. Shout out, whatever girl showed her tits.
Can you DM us? It was like a

Speaker 1 like OnlyFans girl. Oh, so she's professional.
Yeah, no, it was like,

Speaker 1 she was like, no, I actually know how to do it right. She was like, it wasn't just some drunk girl at brunch.
She was like, sorry. She's like, actually,

Speaker 1 you're supposed to go right, then left. You're doing it all wrong.

Speaker 1 But also, like, with our tax dollars, is that,

Speaker 1 do I have to really see more double fuckboys? That's what's really pissing me off. I'm like, who built this fucking portal?

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Speaker 1 Then I did

Speaker 1 After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson. Wait, I watched it the other morning.
I literally, I'm a freaking mom. You're a stage mom.
I'm a stage mom.

Speaker 1 We We have, Paige and I have these weird moments where like, I'll just text her when I just get a weird vibe. Yeah.
A good vibe, but like, just want to be like, hi. Like, I think I said hi.

Speaker 1 Like, I miss you, chicken. Yes.
And you were like, I'm literally watching your videos right now. I woke up early because I was like having anxiety.
Shout out.

Speaker 1 And so I'm like sitting on the couch, like by myself, trying to just like freaking meditate.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, I know what I need. Trying to process one emotion.
Like, I just, I need to see Hannah.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, oh, Hannah's episode. Wait, I'm your comfort one.
Yeah, so I was like, I'll put that on. Like, I'll watch that.
It's light. It's funny.

Speaker 1 I don't have to think directly to think at all. And it's like, she's here.
I'll be fine. And it was so funny.
And Brandon, I know.

Speaker 1 BKG. He's very funny.

Speaker 1 So funny, so nice. I was nervous because I've never done a show like that.
I also haven't been allowed to be on a cable show in years. I don't know how

Speaker 1 let me back on that. They're like, just after midnight, she could go on.
So I wore Mew Mew for you. Wait, that's what I wanted to say.
You looked phenomenal. Thank you.

Speaker 1 But the most embarrassing thing is at each commercial break, after the first break, the showrunner guy comes up to me and goes, hey, can I grab you for a second? Was it live? Was it live? No. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But he was like, can I grab you for a second? Yeah.
Off, takes me off the stage and I go, I'm fired again.

Speaker 1 I was like, what did I fucking do? And because he definitely seemed like, he was being awkward about it, where I'm like, did I say something?

Speaker 1 like and he pulls me aside and he goes hey you have a little

Speaker 1 I'm like what you're sweating I'm sweating so he pulls me aside he goes can we just blow dry and I was like yeah you literally scared the fuck out of me I thought I was fired he's like no no no you're just we're just you're sweating I go I don't care if I'm sweating I'll hold my hands down he goes they were like we care

Speaker 1 this is our show

Speaker 1 we have to uphold some kind of we care about aesthetics yeah so they literally take me aside blow drying me everyone's waiting for me to be blow dry stop like Like a fucking winner.

Speaker 1 But they don't tell you in Hollywood. But they don't tell you in Hollywood.
Hollywood. It's a crazy place.
So they put me back in.

Speaker 1 But I think it's like, it was because it was a game. Like I got, I wasn't nervous at all.
I was like, well, actually, I was trying to not be competitive. I really was trying.

Speaker 1 I was like, this is a good idea. Well, because it's a game show, but like not real.
Well, they told me, the first thing they say, they go, this is not a real game show.

Speaker 1 And I go, that's what people say when they don't want you to win. That's what they say when they want you to be distracted.
They go, don't worry, it's for fun. That's what they say.

Speaker 1 That's what losers say. Yeah.
So then they pull me off again, blowjoy me again. And I realize, oh, you got blowdown twice.
And Taylor's like waiting for me. Yeah.
Then they pull me aside.

Speaker 1 They take out these like pads. And I go, This is Mew Mew.
You can't just like stick a pad onto the Mew Mew. And they were like, Wait, Hannah.

Speaker 1 They literally put

Speaker 1 you on my Mew Mew. You were like, No, no, this is my heels on my pitties.
You were like,

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 Don't you ink up on it? No, that's how I'm painting it.

Speaker 1 Period pads on my pities.

Speaker 1 Period pads on my pities.

Speaker 1 Okay, name of the episode Period Pads on My Pitties. Put it on my tombstone.

Speaker 1 I feel like Nikki would be so proud. They put it on my

Speaker 1 Mimu. Yeah.
And I was like, Can I text Paige? I don't know if this is legal. I was like, I think this is illegal.

Speaker 1 Like, I think there's a stylist that just died somewhere. That's how it works.
The Asian community is very mad at me already, and I'm literally on the edge.

Speaker 1 So I end up having these periods in my arms.

Speaker 1 But it was so funny because I'm chill. But like, I'm chill.
I'm like, you're not being competitive or weird. Like, you're not freaking anyone out.

Speaker 1 I love the classic, don't be weird. You're not being

Speaker 1 the conversation in your own head where it's like, you're not being weird. You're being cool.
Just continue that. Don't be weird.
Like, it's a weird inner mind.

Speaker 1 Do you know when anyone, when you're a competitive person, when someone, and it's not like I'm not even competitive with other people, it's more like I'm competitive with myself because I have PTSD that like people will be disappointed with me if I lose.

Speaker 1 Oh God.

Speaker 1 So I'm standing there and I'm like, no one crazy want to lose. This is a game.
It's stupid. This is nothing to do with your self-worth.

Speaker 1 And I'm literally like, don't show anyone that you have a crazy winning, like competitive sign.

Speaker 1 So I'm so chill. And I'm like down by like a thousand.
I was keeping score.

Speaker 1 And then the last round, she's like, okay, we're doing a speed round and everything is 500 points. And immediately I'm like, something came over me.
I couldn't hold her back anymore.

Speaker 1 I was like, was like

Speaker 1 I was like pretending like I couldn't click the button the whole show I was like sorry mine's broken I don't know why I'm just trying to make sure it's not stuck oh did I win again that's crazy the whole time every time I got it I'd be like oopsie I didn't even want to answer and then this the last round I go bring every fucking second and like Brandon and Heather were looking at me like oh now you know how to click the button I was like

Speaker 1 I got like 4,000 points and I was like Thank you. No, that's every girl on a first date.
You're like, I don't know how to read the menu.

Speaker 1 And then like three dates in, you're like, everything you're going to change about yourself if you want this tour. No, literally.
And everyone's like kind of scared.

Speaker 1 Like, at the end, they're like, where the fuck did that come from? And I go, I don't know. I don't know her.
I was trying to suppress her. So, did you win? Yes.
Yeah. I won.

Speaker 1 So funny, she gave me

Speaker 1 a skipping rock because it's like a fake game show. I saw that, yeah.
And they give me the rock, and I'm like, this is funny. Then you walk off stage.

Speaker 1 One of the producers like puts his hand out for me to give him back the rock. I go, this is my trophy.
He goes, do you want to keep the rock?

Speaker 1 I go, yeah, I want to, yeah, I want to fucking keep the rock. And he's like, okay.
And I'm like, don't fucking take my trophy away, you sick fuck. I'm a winner.

Speaker 1 Wait, that's, they were like, the props department actually needs this. CBS sends a really weird email tomorrow.
They're like, oh, we think there was a mix-up. Then I called Des.

Speaker 1 And he goes, I go, hey, babe. And he goes, did you fucking win? I go, yeah.
He goes, oh my God. It's like, Jesus Christ.
Like, you know, the fucking lesson. You never learned.
Like, no one cares.

Speaker 1 That's my husband. He goes, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 you oh you had to win wait i love when you say husband it always like freaks me out so crazy no it's so crazy so crazy i'm like your what well people well how's your husband and i'm like shut the fuck up and it's not because i'm like obviously like trying to be single around town it's just like not good for the brand vibe literally someone called in on burner film last week they were like hey so i'm married ill

Speaker 1 And Jess and I are dying laughing. Like,

Speaker 1 it's no, like, it's no, it's like, stop.

Speaker 1 like we can it's literally like we can be but like don't tell don't fucking say it out loud yeah like that's so weird also like i feel like weddings are changing where like everyone should just be getting like a small intimate gathering where you look super hot with a photographer like looks we need small intimate gathering merch i think it needs to happen we we're working you guys we're working on a change in the merch no sorry about our merch this is the thing about the merch we are switching companies

Speaker 1 we're switching companies for our merch because as you know paige and i mostly paige takes fashion very seriously and yeah and our merch company literally just like tried to like bring us into the illuminati and we're like no we can't go we have to leave you guys so look out for a new merch drop i know it's been years

Speaker 1 then i did shows and then oh i interviewed The some Love is Blind cast. How were they? They were great because they're just like of the most recent season?

Speaker 1 I think it was like a combination, but there was like the Jimmy guy, which was funny. Yeah.
Because I didn't watch it because I can't watch reality TV or it makes

Speaker 1 fagina, but everyone says it was amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I said on this podcast that I think Jimmy looked like a thumb, so that's awkward. I may or may not.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm going to post the video soon. It was actually, he was very funny because he's like

Speaker 1 he's southern, so like they're just silly. They're silly.
I had no idea it was. That's definitely a word for them.
Oh, I went to Kevin Hart's production company's brunch. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 We forgot about it.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Forgot.

Speaker 1 And how was that? Well, I was like, I saw Kevin Hart twice this week already. And they were like, do you want to come to his brunch? And I was like, honestly.
Actually, the guy's everywhere.

Speaker 1 There was a giggler. I know.
There was a giggler on his team. So the gigglers

Speaker 1 are so successful. And they're so beautiful.
No, like, every time I meet a giggler, I'm like, you are. gorgeous.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I can tell when they're like a little more page than Hannah, like page coded or not. This girl was actually page coded.

Speaker 1 It's so funny because when the Hannahs come up to me, that's the first thing they say to me. They're like, We get it.
Like, we're not your vibe.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I didn't even say anything. We're at a bodega.
I don't even know what's going on right now.

Speaker 1 My favorite is when the gigglers come up to me with two of them, and one of them goes, She's my Hannah.

Speaker 1 And then there's some girl comes up, like, hey.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, me and you, girl. And just like the pretty.

Speaker 1 She like walks out from the bathroom.

Speaker 1 And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect.
Whoever has a slick back button, I'm like, Girl Page. And they're wearing bows.
Like, it's actually like, no, you can spot them in a second.

Speaker 1 In a second. So, yeah, the brunch was fun.
I ran into Chelsea again, but this is where you have Chelsea Adler.

Speaker 1 Sorry. You have to be careful.
You don't want to overdo it, you guys. What I've learned, end on top.
Get a laugh, move on. Get a laugh, move.
Always be moving. Get a laugh, move.

Speaker 1 Don't stay to see yourself become the villain. Yeah.
That's what I go home before that. Go home.
So I was hanging out with Harry Jousey, who's just seen,

Speaker 1 picked us up in an orange Lamborghini.

Speaker 1 Is he a real person? No, he's an AI Australian man, but honestly, he's so fucking sweet and I've known him for years. I saw him from a distance at the LA Fashion Awards.

Speaker 1 I think he was just at, like, it was at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think he just happened to be at the hotel.
When I walked in, the first thing I thought was, who is that huge guy over there?

Speaker 1 Ginormous. And then I was like, oh, that's Harry Jousey.
And I just was not expecting him to be massive. Huge.
But, like, it was just so LA. Like, driving in a.

Speaker 1 I was like, can you even spell Lamborghini? Like, where did, how did this even happen? Yeah. It's orange.
So we show up to Kevin Hart's like renting. This is really successful from OnlyFans, right?

Speaker 1 Tail?

Speaker 1 And people don't even know. See, it's so funny.
Like,

Speaker 1 literally, the Dublin portal got shut down because of a woman on a family. Harry's out here just swinging his stick around.

Speaker 1 he said he he just shows his butt that's what he said

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 and was there any oh yeah i met jeff ross

Speaker 1 i met kevin hart's photographer he's my boy now

Speaker 1 what a crazy job this guy travels around with kevin hart everywhere and just takes pictures of him at all times no i need that

Speaker 1 give me that guy's number i will he literally just is everywhere rolling and kevin has like a huge the amount of times i've had

Speaker 1 if i just had a fucking photographer at all times, I'd always get the shot. Um, have you seen the Miss USA thing?

Speaker 1 No, something weird's happening in the Miss USA universe.

Speaker 1 Miss USA step down, oh, and these usually, like, when a someone steps down, like the second run, the first runner-up, like, immediately takes the spot and like whatever.

Speaker 1 And usually, the people only step down because, like, I don't know, like insane, insane things.

Speaker 1 Steps down, person

Speaker 1 first runner-up doesn't accept accept it, says nope. Then Miss Teen

Speaker 1 USA steps down, first runner-up says nope. Miss USA puts out a statement like that she's like stepping down.
Now there's only like a couple months left in her term. Of her term.

Speaker 1 So they're like, this is crazy. The first letter of every sentence of the statement she put out spelled out, I'm silenced.
And typically

Speaker 1 they run like the social media account for themselves and like you can see their real personality and whatever. And Miss USA put out a thing that like that will no longer be allowed.

Speaker 1 Like someone from the company will run their social media like when they win. So people are like, that's weird.
And no one's saying anything. Are you telling me the Miss

Speaker 1 Universe USA

Speaker 1 company is toxic? It's a scholarship program, not a beauty pageant. Oh,

Speaker 1 no, so we don't know what's going on. Even as a young girl,

Speaker 1 I did not support that shit. Pageants, pageantry.
I don't support it.

Speaker 1 And I know Miss Universe is like, oh, these are the smart ones. Look.
Yeah, no, no. The fact that we're raiding women.
Yeah. Can we not? No, pageants are.
And I support women in the arts. For sure.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're going to do it, win. I support you.
Go off. But, like, no.
We saw what happened to Raquel. Like, just don't.
You know what else we didn't talk about?

Speaker 1 I don't know why this just made me think of it. Gypsy Rose Blanchard doing a

Speaker 1 Mother's Day video. And just being like, I'm allowed to feel how I feel about my mom.
And on Mother's Day, I choose to think about like the good times. Did someone come and go, what happened?

Speaker 1 Question mark.

Speaker 1 Please explain. Story time.

Speaker 1 64 parts story time. And like, people were just like, this is so insane.
But then other people were like, well, she is allowed to like feel how she wants to feel.

Speaker 1 Like the woman did like abuse her entire life. and it's like yes but she also plotted her murder like

Speaker 1 and look i think i love that she's addressing it i think it's weird if she didn't like be quiet on mother's day that's fucking awkward at least say something and look if you abuse a child in any capacity i think like automatic death penalty like i think

Speaker 1 this woman should be dead like for what she did to a child. It's a complex layered thing.
And the woman birthed her and they clearly had great times together.

Speaker 1 And she was like, she's still my mom, which is like, I get valid. Like, it is, there is a layer where you're like, okay, that's still like the woman who gave me life.
But I was just like, what a,

Speaker 1 get ready with me as I. As I describe how I plotted my mom's murder.
Things that would send our forefathers into a literal coma. Gypsy Rose Lander talking about her mom's murder on TikTok.

Speaker 1 Can you spell Munchhausen? Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 It's giving German. Wait, it is.
Yeah, I love how I missed all this news because I was in la-la-la. No, you're literally.

Speaker 1 That's what the Illuminati does. They don't let you see what's happening in the world.
That's the real fucking world.

Speaker 1 They distract you with celebrity and shiny things. I'm like, our portal is shut down.
No one's doing anything.

Speaker 1 How do we know what's happening in Dublin?

Speaker 1 Dublin. Also, shout out.
I am going. I do shows in Dublin and London.
I have a couple tickets left. Go for it.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is my personality. i don't know if my mom was onto something when she said i was like my dad or if it's because i'm a scorpio

Speaker 1 but when i'm mad about something it takes me two full

Speaker 1 years

Speaker 1 two full weeks 10 business days

Speaker 1 a solid 10 business days to get mad to calm down oh i love how i got everything wrong

Speaker 1 To calm down. So if I'm mad on a Friday, you better believe that Monday, I'm still still ripping.
I'm still fuming. See, I'm like never, as a Leo, I'm never mad.
Yeah. But then once I am,

Speaker 1 no one will, I will lose all the friendships because I will say the real shit. And then I'll be fine after.
It takes me so long to get mad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then I'm there and I'm like, well, I'm not going to waste it. Actually, who else needs a dressing?

Speaker 1 I lied. I'm mad for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 I'm mad for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 Once I realize I legitimately am like righteously mad, why would I unmad myself? I did the reunion on a Friday. I'm going through the airport

Speaker 1 on a Tuesday, told someone to fuck off.

Speaker 1 What did they do? Piss me off. What did they do? Piss me off.
They said, do you want oat milk or skim milk? Because I fucked off. Fuck you.
First of all, let me just preface.

Speaker 1 We were at LaGuardia airport, so you can throw a fuck you out there

Speaker 1 anytime. That's like any moment.

Speaker 1 There was this like older woman, like full-on mom, but like older than that, who was like mad. She was behind me in line.

Speaker 1 She was like mad that I was in front of her in line and like didn't feel like I was doing the line correctly. Now I travel literally once a week.
I know a lot. I know the security line.

Speaker 1 I know how to get through the line. Thank you.
I don't know a lot. I know how to get through a line.
And that's a double entendre.

Speaker 1 So anyway, so she's like trying to say something to me and I literally don't even know what's going on. Like I am like, wait, is she? She's definitely not trying to talk to me right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just like turned i was like what like i literally said what

Speaker 1 and she just like kept going that like i wasn't doing the line right now i was just like okay lady like it's friday morning i'm like i'm exhausted was it it's a full week later from the reunion so i get through security i get my bags off the belt and i'm walking by her to go to my gate and i could tell she's like thinking of something up in her head to say to me and i'm just like lady i don't give a fuck what you're about to say to me and I could tell she's starting to say like I hope you have and I just look at her and I go fuck you and I keep walking and I'm waiting so she didn't even say anything yet no

Speaker 1 no in the line she had started chirping me

Speaker 1 apologize she was about to apologize

Speaker 1 all we know and I hit her with fuck you

Speaker 1 and I walk by and I'm like

Speaker 1 I feel lighter. I feel lighter.
I immediately call my mom because I'm like, wait, what? I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm shaking.

Speaker 1 I go, mom, I just got into a fight with a lady.

Speaker 1 Isn't that at the end of your physical altercation? I tell my mom. I've been shot.
I tell my mom the entire story, thinking like, oh my God, wait. Then I have anxiety.
Like, was I wrong?

Speaker 1 Was I in the wrong? I tell my mom the whole story. My mom goes, good for you.
And I was like, yep. And I knew it.

Speaker 1 All you need is your mom being like, you were right. And then

Speaker 1 I'm gone. I'm away.
You need one friend to say

Speaker 1 exactly. And you're like, and that's it.
So I'll burn LaGuardia right down.

Speaker 1 You just redid it. I'll burn it down.
Shout out to my papa, my other grandpa, who I don't talk about enough because he's alive and loved my life.

Speaker 1 Alive? Even well, gets no love. Gets no love because he's a literal angel.
Grandpa in heaven was like, wow, the gigglers love me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my current papa, he doesn't listen whenever it gets sexual or the fart stuff. We don't do that to Papa.
I think he has to.

Speaker 1 tell my nana what we said because she can't hear right so he actually is the ultimate giggler such a love papa has one of the funniest stories because he's a tough guy from brooklyn right

Speaker 1 And apparently, he was walking in the subway, apparently.

Speaker 1 And he tells a story about how he was like, I saw this guy and he was going to mug me. You know, you could just tell he's going to mug me.

Speaker 1 No, Papa, but keep going.

Speaker 1 He was walking to me. I could tell he was going to mug me.
He goes, so I just turned and I broke his fucking nose.

Speaker 1 And me and my brother were like, what if he wasn't going to rob you?

Speaker 1 You and your brother are five and you're like, Papa, what?

Speaker 1 Papa what?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 there are different rules in New York because when I called Craig and told him that story, he goes, you said, fuck you. I go, it's LaGuardia.

Speaker 1 You can literally, that's how we greet each other in the morning. If I were to do that to someone, I would then, they'd be sitting next to me on the flight.

Speaker 1 They would be over with, like, they would be with me all night. I'm immediately on the phone with my mom.
I was like, wait, she looked like a bitch that would live in Charleston if she's on my flight.

Speaker 1 Good. I have more shit to say,

Speaker 1 but she wasn't.

Speaker 1 No, so my papa, this story is so crazy because he was so proud of himself. He's like, I can tell this motherfucker was coming.
No, I'm proud. What if he just had like a long day at work?

Speaker 1 He's going home and he's so tired. He's about to see his family.
That guy's version to his grandkids. Very different.
Very different. Very different.

Speaker 1 I was like, you broke his nose. Like, Jesus Christ.
He goes, then I had to get a rhinoplasty. I couldn't afford the surgery.

Speaker 1 I never got to go to college after that. You never make eye contact with an Italian.
You're like, okay.

Speaker 1 And with that said, thank you for giggling with us. This is a journey.
We have, we added second shows to a lot of the shows that sold out.

Speaker 1 So if you were like, shoot, I missed it, go to our website right now.

Speaker 1 Like, cheat. I don't know why you're going to say www.amandapolis.com

Speaker 1 giggly squad.edu.

Speaker 1 Wait, why are we not gigglysquad.edu? Wait, we could have probably bought that so cheap, too.

Speaker 1 Net like.org.

Speaker 1 It's probably illegal. Yeah.
Okay, we'll talk to you guys later. We miss you so much.
Bye.

Speaker 1 Okay, real talk. Applying for a credit card can feel like dating.
You put yourself out there, hope for the best, and then boom, rejected. And your credit scores take a hit.
No, thank you.

Speaker 1 That's why we're obsessed with Experian's no ding decline feature. It's like having a bestie in your corner who's like, hey, try this card.
And if it's not a match, no biggie.

Speaker 1 Your credit scores stay safe. You can browse cards in the Experian app, see your matches, and apply with confidence.

Speaker 1 Because if you're not approved, there's no hard inquiry, no ding to your credit scores, just vibes and smart choices.

Speaker 1 So if you're trying to level up your wallet, visit Experian.com or download the Experian app and check out the cards labeled No Ding Decline. It's giving financial glow up.

Speaker 1 Experian, your big financial friend. Applying for No Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved.
2025, Experian. Experian.

Speaker 1 Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. There's an all-new season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives now streaming on Hulu.

Speaker 1 Mom Talk might have started as a sisterhood, but these Latter-day Saints are no angels. This season, there's new secrets, lies, and truths coming out, and you won't want to miss all the drama.

Speaker 1 Watch the new season of the Hulu original, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundled subscribers. Terms apply.