Giggling about fangirling, public bathrooms, and Erewhon

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Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these.

They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.

Oh, those are those ones from Japan.

Wait, they actually look so cool.

They're futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. plane also you don't disturb anyone around you because i don't want anyone knowing what i'm listening to or what like murder podcasts i'm trying to get to the bottom of solve a mystery yeah it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears.
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Trying is believing. Sup, gigglers.
Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hello, my Met Gala gigglers. Oh yeah, this will come out on Monday.
I keep forgetting because sometimes we switch it up and do Giggly on Tuesday. No, we never do it on Tuesday.
On Sunday. But I'm so excited to see what people come up with for the Met.
Well the truth is days are made up. It's a social construct.
we are going by days my gal is on monday i yeah i'm so excited because it's like i actually can't remember the last time i was like oh my god it's friday like is that just something that goes away when you like become an adult no it's because we're weird podcasters who like have our own weird creepy hours that we work no like saturday morning i woke up and i was like why do i have 23 messages in or 23 emails that just came in and then like my agent texted me was like hey sending you a ton of emails this morning and i was like what day is it well let's talk about the good email let's stay positive the good email is that you're going to met gala

after fucking party which is arguably more fun no i'm so fucking stressed i don't i don't have

an outfit and this is tomorrow tomorrow what are you doing get off the pod find this out

i and i'm like what do i do so i went on netta porter because you can get things like same day

I'm going to go i and i'm like what do i do so i went on net a porter because you can get things like same day delivery in new york city which is just just the most beautiful idea ever yeah so i just ordered a bunch of stuff to try on to see like okay what what's happening i think there's two types of girls the girls that's no three the girls that say net-a-porter net-a-porter and net-a-porter three very different species of girls in new york city you know which one i am you're net-a-porter i'm not a porter i'm not a porter in my heart yeah but in front of certain people i'll say net-a-porter but then feel gross about it it's like when i say croissant no i that's exactly what i was gonna say net-a-porter to me is people that say barcelona abita abita and i'm like okay i want to kill you and they complained about being jet-lagged when they went there two months ago it's like it's because you do drugs every night you don't sleep it's not because you flew to europe yeah and so i'm just like net a border also with the met gala theme i'm annoyed by it because i feel like it's always a riddle so they never make it make sense and then when people don't get it right they get mad at them and i'm like then make it simple that That's right. Mecca is taxes.
We know what it is. Figure it out.
Literally, Anna Wintour is the IRS of fashion because she's like, I know what the theme is. You owe me the perfect outfit for the theme.
You have to figure it out on your own. And if you don't, you will go to to worst dress list you will be in jail how do you perceive it's sleeping beauties which could that should have been it but then they add something to confuse you reawakening fashion what does that mean so my first thought went to aurora like sleep the actual sleeping beauty and so if if you break that down, the outfit that she was in was very like, like not gilded age.
Bridgerton-ish. Because that was last year.
Yeah, Bridgerton-ish. So I'm like, I feel like a lot of people are going to go that way.
But then if you just take the word awakening, that could mean anything in terms of like flowers, like blooming. be like anything waking up so i'm like i don't i have no fucking idea doja cat might just come as like an eye like a big iris um that's another riddle just like thinking like what is doja cat how is doja cat and interpreting it is doja cat going to jewel or not is she going to what jewel yeah oh yeah i forgot about that or is she not invited because she jeweled no i think she's invited because there was a i mean in her like last song she was like um i can't smoke here like she made a reference to it.
But she's such a relatable bitch.

I love Doja.

She is.

And also she was like waiting in line.

You know, it wasn't like she was like doing the interview.

She was literally waiting for her turn and like minding her own business. Can someone start a TikTok of celebrities waiting in line?

Because that's when they're most interesting.

When they're forced to wait like normal people.

No, or just like TikToks of like famous people like leaving the bathroom stall. Like everyone is the same when you have just opened a communal bathroom stall and you're walking to wash your hands.
Everyone is the equal in that moment, I feel like. Like that's a quality right there.
Or when you don't have enough toilet paper in the stall and you have to be like, how y'all doing? Hey. I would never do that.
You would never ask for toilet paper? No. Even if you pooped? Nope.
Well, here's another thing. I would never poop in a public place unless I was like dying.
Like, I couldn like i couldn't get home so different because first of all i see an airport bathroom i go i can't wait to literally this place is gonna be a bloodbath i'm going to destroy the only place that's the only place i would feel comfortable because at the delta lounge it is like individual if it's if there's a wall i can do it look if i'm at a wendy's i'm not apologizing like that's where you go to like girls are leaving their boyfriend's apartment to blow up the wendy's i'm not i'm disrespecting a public bathroom that's what it's for okay yeah if it's a two stall i don love that, but I will wait for the girl to leave and then do my due diligence. But I have to say when this happens, I go girl, this is girlhood girlies.
I'm out of toilet paper. And then you put your hand underneath and this girl will give it.
And she goes, do you need more? And then you're like, my pussy is not that big. I'm not ever stressed that the girl next to me isn't gonna give it and be like oh my god that's so embarrassing you're a loser you're a fucking loser like yeah like i don't think they're gonna bully me that i don't have any toilet paper figure it out bitch figure it out you stupid slut like i don't think they're gonna like throw their camera over and start like recording me and like yell like world star but i i don't know it's my own insecurity that i'm just like i can't i can't do that sometimes when i'm in my own home and i poop poop i'm like i've ruined my house okay this is really niche but do you ever like have the tiniest little poop like you're not really pooping but like a little poop comes out and then you look at it and it's so little and cute and you kind of want your partner to see it so they think that's how you poop like I almost want to leave it in so Des is like oh that's what your poops look like never not once have i ever thought i really want craig to know this about me in general or with pooping in general you go the less information the better he it out.
I'm not leaving. Well, that would be my, that's my Easter egg poop for Des.
Yeah. No, but I don't, I'm just like weird when it comes to like public.
I don't even want to talk about this because I feel like you're going to, in general, yeah. I feel like you're going to jinx me.
And now like the next time I step out of my apartment i'm gonna be like i have to ship myself so bad this is my thing ask me a place and i'll tell you if i poop there like is there anywhere i wouldn't poop where do you think that's how i feel like with my outfits i'm like if you tell me what i was wearing i'll tell you exactly what the night was and you're like i've used this bathroom tell me location i'll tell you if i poop

there i will do it i can't think of one public place that it's like it's just this is why because men do it so why can't girls do it if men could do it why can't we do it no that's so true it is true i'm kind of a baby with food and poop like if i have to poop i can't hold it if i have to eat I need to eat right now or I'll ruin everyone's day.

No, you are.

Yeah, you are temper temper you're temperamental when it comes to nourishment um also if i've been acting different on this pod you guys are like who is she i've been in la for one day and she's no guys she's been in la for one day and she's currently recording the pod in a robe, freshly spray tanned, just got up and like answered the door for room service.

So she's different.

The thing with Giggly Squad is I feel like so connected to the Gigglers, like we are growing together.

So what our job is like whenever we see insider shit, we have to tell the Gigglers and I don't feel like I'm putting stuff on blast because it's just for the Gigglers.

No, Hannah, I'm so happy you're saying this. Keep going.
So like I was invited to this crazy brunch yesterday and I didn't take any photos because like I wanted to pretend I was cool. Meanwhile, I was like, I'm telling the gigglers every fucking second of what I see at this party.
You're like mental noting it. So it was this brunch for the Netflix is a joke festival.
And by brunch, it was like this garden party at a mansion, which is so LA. Because like in New York, we don't even have gardens.
No, we've never seen a flower. So it's in a huge backyard.
And I'm very like going with my agent. I'm like should be fun like i'll try not to embarrass myself first person i see is john stewart who by the way hot yeah i was gonna say how tall little but hot yeah well you know what's also annoying about men is like their salt and pepper like hair and beard for whatever reason.
Like it's just like why does it look good on them? You know who you're talking to. Yeah.
I think we're actually attracted deep down to men who are tired and don't look like they want to fuck every girl. And look like they've just like partied too hard that they're like done.
And there something you want to know what it is i think because it you know that they've aged so they had to get to that level for us to respect them because i'm we were like oh you actually probably have learned at least one thing yes like he knows something he knows something something i could ask him about and he's they're weaker they're weaker like well voiced like well versed in it you know like there's one thing where he knows a lot about and if we had to we could outrun them because they have arthritis yes and there's something about like okay the question would you rather be stuck with a man or a bear let's it. Would you rather be stuck with a bear or a zaddy older man with gray hair? A hundred percent.
Zaddy older man with gray hair. Tell me your stories of war.
Like, I will feed you Advil. What did you do when you went to get up and turn the TV off manually? Like, what was that journey like for you? Yeah, when you had to meet someone somewhere and you didn't have a cell phone and they didn't show up like what did you do what did you think did you go to their home did you immediately go to something happened to them or was that par for the course and you went about your own day literally when you wanted food and you couldn't uber eats it how did you get the food did you farm did you gather did you look up recipes like in a recipe book from your grandma or was it all word of mouth did you print out map quest was there even map because when you were growing up so it's just it's life is perspective so anyway i see john stewart and i go that's fucking crazy but it's okay play it cool then i look and i see love of my life chelsea handler yep who is one of those people that i okay i'm saying i'm bad at social climbing like i'd rather avoid an awkward situation than be like i'm gonna risk it to like get a relationship with this person yeah so i'm if you're out hailey b if you're out there i'm quiet i'm chilling I'm here if you need me I'm not reaching out yes so I see her and I I don't I'm like I'm not gonna harass her giggly squad slogan should be I'm not reaching out I'm not reaching out and it doesn't mean I don't care and love you it's actually the opposite I respect your time and space so reaching out I mean there's times when i'm like i'm not gonna reach out to page because i care about her right now i'm gonna wait this one out i'm gonna wait it out two days ago i waited a little i gave her some breathing space and you're the only person truly that knows you're the only person i've cried to in the past couple of days you're the only person that truly knows i've been going through something what's going on where are you going do you want to hang out i'm like i let you come to me stop when you are ready you come to me but if i come to you you're gonna scurry away and hide yeah under the bed and then you won't come out for six days and i said that's what you get for trying to get her to come out.
I haven't texted anyone back. Immediately got on the phone with you and started crying.
I was like, finally, someone that understands me isn't. Also, you start crying when I said something like a joke.
Yeah, I was like, she gets me. OK.
So Chelsea like looks at me. I look at her and she goes, I kind of black blacked out but someone told me she said hannah baby oh my god so she and she runs over and i i just was like chelsea i think i said to her i looked at her i said how does it feel to have this town on your back yeah that's what i said to her i don't i've never said that since in my life but i just see her and like she inspired me to do comedy and she's jokingly saying hi to me it's you know when you can't process it so that's crazy it's an out-of-body experience you're like this is happening to someone else that i know but it's not it's certainly not me i'm like they're not talking to me like this is yeah they think i'm someone else yeah then she turned she goes i want to introduce you to someone sarah fucking silverman wow standing there and this is early in the party so i haven't really settled yet i'm in that like adrenaline phase where i'm like scared fight or flight and i see her and i just being like i was like oh are you hot because she's wearing like a sweater because i'm trying to act cool you know yeah normal like normal jar normal everyday banter because the gigglers are so cool with us I never think about it but I'm like what do you say when you you see someone that you like listen to or watch do you start with I'm a fan do they not want to know that so I forgot yeah and she was she was actually so funny she was like you know what's crazy this is the third outfit I put together like I chose this outfit like I literally took effort for this bad outfit and she was like you know what's crazy this is the third outfit i put together like i chose this

outfit like i literally took effort for this bad outfit and she's like you kind of do her voice

she goes isn't it crazy this is the outfit i put on and do other people tell you you're good at

impressions or is it like just me because i think and then grace tells me i'm good at singing you

guys are fucking lying to my head to make my head big but she she was wearing a hat and i was like you look like incognito and then i was like well honestly she's famous why would i say like of course she's trying to be incognito but like we're at this i hate the internal dialogue like my internal dialogue is so loud in these conversations then chelsea turns and i realize i'm stuck with sarah silverman and like you could tell that she was like it was too early in the party for me to be stuck with her like i wasn't in the flow state yet yeah and i realized like oh i'm but i'm not gonna like leave from talking to sarah silverman because i don't want to be rude but i'm also like i know she doesn't want to be stuck with me right now so i was stuck with her for maybe like 10 seconds too long so i felt bad but then like it was all good i turn cat williams just walking through the brunch with a hoodie on that was bedazzled with like a cross like a knight okay okay i'm visualizing it and then i turn and And I eliza schlesinger wow who i have a show with in calgary but i haven't met yet so i'm opening for her in calgary everyone gets it again i don't know i think it's canada but i have no idea where in canada but like i don't know if someone said put calgary on a map right now i would die wait that's actually so scary i feel like i should 100 know that and i'm gonna say that it's on the west coast of canada i feel like it's west coast too but it could be it could be part of me was really quickly i was gonna say was in ireland or like the netherlands i'm like i never thought the netherlands like a bone i am coming to dublin by the way anyway so i look at her and i go hi and she kind of is confused for a second i'm like oh no this is so embarrassing because i never want to be like you should know who i am but like yeah she's like tagged me and stuff because we're doing the

show and then she goes oh my god Hannah Brenner sorry I'm sorry like great to meet you and I said

literally call me anything you want I don't care yep and she did this really cool thing finding

your roots that my mom watched and told me about where celebrities go on where they go through your

DNA and like do this crazy thing to find your ancestors no I need it and like people like they

Thank you. celebrities go on where they go through your dna and like do this crazy thing to find your ancestors no i need it and like people like they like find out the craziest shit and they'll be like he was your great great grandpa was a farmer who had a like was married to like they find out crazy shit anyway so i told her that she was like thank you and then she goes she just grabs my arm she goes do you want to say hi to kat williams with me because i want to meet him and i was like did eliza schlesinger just ask me ask me if i to be her sidekick to meet kat williams and i go what fucking drug did i am i on right now literally like literal ecstasy so i'm getting i'm like this is better than my wedding day wait what were you wearing so i wore those pajama pants yeah yeah yeah with this like zara top but the problem with the zara top is like it didn't really it was like a there's like two little hooks it was just unhooking the whole time yeah like when isn't it so annoying when you're having like an outfit situation and you're trying to act like a normal i was holding my tits together because it's like the outfit when i tried it on was great god forbid i move my shoulders for a second and women are not allowed to move when they're and then because i was touching it got a little orange because i guess i had like i was touching my face who knows it was a fucking disaster but anyway fighting for my life so we she grabs me and we're trying to find cat williams kevin hart walks

by sebastian maniscalco and his wife and it's not even that they were like famous people it's that we're in this environment where it was just only comics it felt like a high school reunion and i was the eighth grader was it like pastor d'oeuvres like what was going on yes and it was like a bar and it was kind of the morning. So John Mulaney and Bo Burnham, tall.
Yep. Who was the tallest? Who was the tallest? Bo Burnham.
Okay. Then Nick Kroll.
Then I see, so like everywhere you look is the most famous person you've ever seen. And this is the thing.
There's one thing about seeing famous people. It's another thing when you're seeing like people who have inspired your life and your yeah your career like it's one thing to be like oh yeah that person's on tv versus like this person has genuinely like yeah has has influenced me in like a certain decision yeah it's like very powerful so like i was acting like crazy and i never act like this like that or it's like when i met roger federer like it's like people who i really respect what they've accomplished in their life so everyone's like i sometimes get as like sad when people are like oh don't meet your heroes because yes there are like situations where you're like wait that person was so not what i was expecting but sometimes it's exactly what you were expecting from that person and it's so like even more special because you're like i fucking knew that you were gonna be just like normal or you meet someone that's like actually on the flight going there i saw melanie linsky she was sitting like two seats in front of me and she was like talking to everyone and like some people who like aren't as famous but you find out they're like really cool people.
You're like, oh, you're fucking amazing. And people don't talk about it enough.
So then I run into Whitney Cummings, who I now know, who like from all the comics, she like probably has the most money of all of them. And acts like she's like, you wouldn't even know she's famous.
Like's just shooting the shit wants to make everyone laugh like literally me and her like pushing each other like playing like little kids and i've always i've always thought that she has really great skin the most incredible skin yeah um and she has her strategies but like things that i could never do like i like sleep me on your back and shit but um, um. Oh, yeah.
So then. I've heard about that.
We get in a line to do a photo with all the comics. So literally, it feels like a class.
It felt like high school. No.
Where, like, the popular people in the front, like, they were like, Chappelle, Chappelle. And it, like, comes over.
And then Kevin Hart, like, Bert Kreischer standing there. I'm, like, literally forgetting people because there were so many.
It was insane insane everywhere you looked. No, that's insane, Hannah.
That guy, Brett, is it Brett Goldstein from the. Was just like, okay, this is like a weird question, but like was everyone, like I feel like if I were to walk into a room like that and it was all models, like I would be eating the past hors d'oeuvres.
If you're walking into a room with all comedians, like everyone laughing like what is the is everyone just like everyone the funniest joke everyone is making fun of the event so everyone you walk up to is like this fucking type of you know everyone okay this is crazy right like how do you act how do you act in these every comics in their own head so okay great like i went up to nikki glazer and she's like i don't know if i can stay here any longer this is i don't know what to do and i'm like you're nikki fucking glazer that's why i feel comfortable with comedians because i'm like oh you guys are mental you got so much shit going on up there it makes me feel more comfortable that i also and i was with heather mcmahon and we were laughing like these are the like most attention loving narcissists on the planet trying to take a photo right now in a group photo

like it was insane everyone's like jumping around it was hilarious um and then i had heather mcmahon

with me thank god so we found each other but then you literally need one person at things like this

and you're just like my life would have been insane judd apatow just like strolling casually just casually eating a lobster roll.

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it was, it was, it was, it casually eating a lobster roll it was like it was it was so fucking crazy and then this is where i like threw up i were walking to the garden and all the comics are joking like what if they're just like taking us out back to to like get rid of us like this is what the comics are saying this is what the comics like a beautiful home the most beautiful no one of the comics i almost tripped and they're like you could fucking sue this guy and make a lot of money like this is the stuff they're saying so oh yeah tiffany haddish anyway so i look who i'm walking like we're all getting squeezed in and walking down this lane and i look who happens to be next to me it's jim gaffigan my love of my life yep zaddy who has come over to me tall yes actually tall people don't talk about enough yeah he has come over to me before like in New York City just joking like do you like it when girls have diarrhea like joking about like I guess he sees my videos which is crazy that's wait that's insane dude that alone Like, oh jim gaffigan came up to me and asked do i like it jim gaffigan was doing an impression of me like i froze to the point like you know when i feel like i'm pretty i can come up with shit pretty froze like i forgot what english was yeah so i look at him and i'm like hey because i know he knows he knows me and he looks at me goes so how do you get these interviews with like Justin Bieber's wife and like JLo Justin Bieber's wife is so hilarious to me and I'm like so he has Bieber fever he loves literally so he was like asking me how the interviews go and someone and heather was next to me and was like hi jim like i love your work and i said i start to make he was goofy so i started to make fun of him like i got a good vibe from him and i was like jim do you know that once at the stand um you thought i was a waiter and he starts laughing and i was like you yeah he goes because we were just standing i was ready to get on stage and he just saw me standing there and he asked he basically asked like is there water here like i think he was like basically can i have a water and i go absolutely and i turn go to the bar get him water come back give it to him and then go on stage what else what else do you what am i supposed to do jim gaffigan's thirsty you're like i don't know

there's a hose out back jim what the fuck do i look like so i go jim you thought i was a waiter he starts laughing i go you asked me to get you water and i got it for you and he started dying laughing i was like oh my god i made jim gaffigan laugh and he goes well if there's an awkward moment i'll be there and i'm dying laughing and then he knows dez so he's laughing about Dez and Jim Gaffigan's

wife. Well, we respect Dez

because he has saltwater no he literally said that he called he was like he's a silver fox like every man is obsessed with des so then i i found out that jim gaffigan's wife actually like helps him a lot with his comedy like is his writing partner like they produce all this stuff together and i was like dude your wife is so badass and he's like yeah and she's you know we're dealing with like teenagers now next thing i'm talking to mcgaffigan about his family oh i forgot he has like a full baseball team at home so i was standing it was me bo burnham i wasn't talking about burnham god i wasn't talking i was just standing there ricky velez and jim gaffney runs over and he goes, oh, is this what all the young kids are hanging

out?

We were just like a goofy dad at a party.

He was like, is this for the young books?

Is Ricky Velez the comedian that was with us in Vegas?

Yes.

And he was in the King of Staten Island.

He's like Pete Davidson's bestie.

He's very funny.

So funny.

And so chill. Just like New Yorker um so i'm just like talking about life with jim cappigan and then i met jimmy carr i don't know if you know jimmy carr he's like a british comedian um and dimitri martin was there i think if i saw a picture of him i would know but long story short that one of my agents kept i was like oh my god that's john mulaney and he's like do you want to meet him and i'm like absolutely not yeah like no i'm not gonna burden john mulaney with saying putting his hand out and saying hi nice to meet you no and like the way i'm gonna meet these people if the universe wants me to if you know we're both reach for the same shrimp and i go if they need a water i'm i will get them water but i'm not you want to be introduced some people are good at that like hey nice to meet you and this no i'm not forcing my energy on people who haven't given me an opening to ask for it no so at one point it became like a school dance but it was literally like me whitney nikki glazer was like over there ch Sarah Silverman and I was like I literally turned to someone I was like this is the best day of my life yeah like I wasn't cool but like everyone was being silly and I can do I can keep up with that I'm bad with the like everyone's acting cool I don't know how to add to the conversation yeah or I'll say something kind of funny and people be like is she okay one time hannah texted me at a part she was at a party and she said i think they're doing drugs in the bathroom and i said yeah probably and she was so just taken aback i i couldn't believe that she couldn't believe that someone would be in a bathroom stall at a club in New York City doing drugs.
So I got I never go to parties. And back then I got invited to my first ever like kind of cool party.
And I don't think they thought I would show up because it was kind of intimate. And I just showed up.
It was legitimate. Intimate.
I walked in. I was i was like okay because i'm not close with this person by any means and i knew you were nervous because you never text me like before you walk in somewhere and before you walked in you were like wait i wish you were here so bad no i had that moment where i'm like i could turn around right now and then i got there and it was i was bombing and then the two girls who I knew kept disappearing in the bathroom and I was like what are they how are they shitting like for a good 30 minutes I was like should we check on them like are they are do are those girls okay and then he'd come out and they would just dance and like I'm trying to talk and they were just dancing and like weird dancing and then they go back in the the bathroom.
And then I think someone like referenced it. But I was like, someone check on them.
Maybe she has a stomach virus. Maybe she has a flu.
No, it was one of the best. I've gotten a couple texts like that from Hannah.
But that was one of. And then they all were like, let's go out after like from this party and I felt like I failed so I was like maybe this is universe saying like you have another shot nope they were in the bathroom the whole time in the other bar too so I'm just like sitting at the second spot that's when it really ramps up yep Hannah and I talk a lot about our gut trusting our gut is it intuition is it intuition? Is it anxiety? Are we doing the right thing? Should we not text back? But let's talk about one gut that we actually can control.
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Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com slash giggly start ritual or add symbiotic plus to your subscription today that's ritual.com slash giggly for 25 off i think life 360 is one of the best inventions ever it addresses that anxiety with your location sharing app that puts the real-time location of everyone you love right in the palm of your hand have you ever been like where is my mom why isn't she answering the phone well life 360 stops that problem from happening i am in constant contact with my mother because that's just the kind of person i am and i know for a fact when i have kids i'm definitely getting life 360 because i don't know how i'm not going to worry all of the time. But really, no matter what stage of family life you're in, you can family proof your family with Life360 app.
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Everyone knows I have an emotional support water bottle. I even bring it out on stage when we're doing Giggly Squad Live.
But if I'm going to be drinking that much water, why don't I amp it up a little with Liquid IV? Hannah's got me into putting things in my water bottle. I never used to do it before, but she's really upped my water game.
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They have a bunch of true-to-fruit flavors that keep you hydrated. They have acai berry, lemon lime, and pina colada.
And just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates you better than water alone and I love drinking water so I love optimizing my water intake. So fuel your curiosity with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Giggly at checkout.
That's 20% off your first order with code Giggly at liquidiv.com. With the seasons changing and spring really coming in hot, I'm dreaming of warmer weather and a getaway.
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So anyway, this party was so fucking insane and just such a cool vibe and then i obviously have to go to erwan right so i go to erwan i panic i panic ordered because what's it like inside it actually like it's crowded but it's like people know what to do and it's actually not that clear like where to stand how things work they. They don't have signs, which is very rich.
I feel like the richer it is, the less signs. No signage is really rich.
Like have you ever walked into a store and you're like, oh, let me like check what size this is. And it's like there's no price tag.
And you're like, yep. Okay, I don't like that's a terrifying world.
Basically, if you have to ask, they don't want you there. No, I literally, this literally happened to me the other day.
I'm leaving sacks because I was leaving a face gym appointment. And I saw these like Louis Vuitton trunks.
And I was just like, oh my God, like that. Like a.
Oh, like, like a trunk. Like for like buried my god like that like uh oh like like a truck like for like buried treasure like for gold a truck okay my in my vision this is literally how we are so different.
I'm obsessed with trunks. Like of a car.
Like how they open. No, like I love like a trunk.
Like I just think they're so like chic. And where are you putting these trunks? Like how do you carry these trunks around? Like when I was little, I had these three pink trunks that had that were like different sizes and they had like gold like hardware and i loved them so much like i still have them yeah they had like a key and like i always wanted to go to sleepaway camp because i wanted to bring like my trunks you've like bodies in it like what do you why do you lock it up like that's so sketchy you're like it's like getting my getting my jeans gotta unlock it people try to steal my jeans i had this vision like ever since i was little that i wanted like these big louis vuitton trunks but i wanted them to be a coffee table and like so different sizes and then you put like glass on the top and then it's like a coffee table trunk so they had all these trunks in Louis Vuitton so I walked in I was like oh like how much is like this big trunk and the guy just like kind of looked at me and he was like um I'd have to like go in the back and he came back and he gave like this astronomical amount and I like started laughing and i was just like oh well then no like that's insane and it was just like and then i was like okay i shouldn't have walked in i know what you're talking about a louis vuitton trunk you know where i saw those paris you go to these vintage stores and they have so many trunks well they're made you can't just like you can they're all like custom yeah so like yeah any of the vintage ones were like someone like an old lady died like an old pirate died and they donated their trunk so i mean they're like insanely expensive it's like stupid but i feel like i can like get something that like looks this so i'm in the market for like vintage trunks no vintage trunks are okay i get where you're going but it is giving pirate cunt pirate she can't eat cunty pirate um you're so fucking weird so and i love how there's probably people being like page is the most normal person and then there's people who are like hannah is 100 right in this situation that's why this podcast exists like my pouches my pouches could live in my trunks i'm at our one i'm like how much is the salmon and they're like let me go to the back and i'll find out but no there was like a line and i don't understand the speed of it i don't know like i just because i want to look like I fit in.
So I get to the front. There's no signage.
And everyone's like there's all these things you could pick from. So I'm like, hey, can I have like a couple of things? And they were like, oh, the combo.
I'm like, yeah, the combo. Like it doesn't say combo anywhere.
So it looks like. Wait, wait, wait.
It looks like you step up to almost like how you would get like deli meat. Like that type.
And they do it for okay and but they have like a ton of pre-cooked stuff but then they don't tell you like one meat two sides like i don't know it could have been super easy to put that somewhere but anyway i'm like okay and then i'm like okay i think i'm choosing a protein and i can only see salmon and then some like thing that i wasn't sure about so i was like okay salmon and then i go to and then i just panicked and got mashed potatoes because i feel like you can't go wrong with mashed potatoes yeah you really can't then he started like wrapping it up i go oh i'm doing two sides i'm not doing one side sir you said the combo you said the combo is not two it's i want three three is a party but then i panicked because like i should do a vegetable and then i ordered this like eggplant parmesan thing which in italian culture you don't mix fish and cheese you just don't so immediately i feel like i made a mistake bad but i'm not gonna tell him to undo it i'm at erwan so i say thank you this is perfect and then i grab a saint james iced tea which is so good by the way wait hannah this is so no this is so fucking weird that you are saying this because i did a grocery order the other day and i and i saw them i've never seen them before and i was like i'm just gonna like get these i always like see them on instagram i'm like i can't stop drinking this is not sponsored as an I see girly. I don don't like when it's too sweet but i honestly do not want just like dirty water tasting tea but then when you do these like diet teas it could taste really fake and then when you do regular tea you're like did i just snort and they're like chic like i look at them in my refrigerator and i'm like they're okay it's the perfect amount of sweetness and when i say that i don't mean like it's like you taste like this is a good ass drink you know what it kind of reminds me of but it's better is like the pure yes like the marketing team it purely isn't like okay pure leaf has left the chat yeah it's very it's very much like that like you feel healthier but it does taste better and yes some of ice teas are like desserts where this is so good it's like 20 calories it feels it's good it's not i woke up the morning of the reunion at like a god forsaken hour like a witching hour and i was getting my hair and makeup done and i like was chugging one because i was so thirsty and i just like loved it i did throw it up so that is a disclaimer how did it feel coming back up that's the thing I'm like I'm a I'm a fan for life because like it actually I was like oh okay that was not that bad I got a two for one I was like this is my own anxiety but thank you St.
James I appreciate your help during all St. Anthony St James.
We pray to St. James and St.
Anthony. So I grab my iced tea.
And then there's no line. There's just like people at, like there was no organization for the line.
So then I'm just standing alone. They're like paying it for it, like with their palm.
Yeah. Or they're just like, they've invested in the company.
And then they just, I don't know. So then I just, there was no one for me to stand behind.
It's a give one, take one type of thing here. Yeah.
Give your firstborn, and then you can get some salmon. And then you get a Haley Weber smoothie.
Yeah, so then I stand, like, I was standing in a place that seemed okay, but then everyone kept, like, making me, like, move out of the way. And I'm like, where the fuck am I supposed to stand for this line anyway so i just go up to the guy we pay they ask me for the receipt i'm like it's food i don't need a fucking receipt no i'm just kidding i could tell you i didn't speak like that but i was i always get confused about that and then i so they're not like trader joe's where like they have to ask you questions no they were pretty like transactional which was nice

i think because they feel bad that you spent two hundred dollars on salmon it's funny because i never go to trader joe's in the city because i just do like instacart so like i never am in there trader joe's you know that you walk into trader joe's during like a crazy time and you just get in line and then the line flows through the whole entire store and you shop through the line no first of all no we're gonna do a show of celebrities waiting in line at Trader Joe's and shopping second of all I go I forget that they have this like rule where like they talk to you or whatever so I only ever go to the Trader Joe's in South Carolina because I'm like getting flowers yeah and as a as a New Yorker I just like am not expecting people to talk to me ever like especially in the grocery store like ever so when I get up to the line and I'm paying for all my flowers the cashier says oh what are you doing with all these flowers and i immediately am like excuse me like who the fuck are you to ask me what i'm doing with all like because the way she said it i was like what like what like are you investigating me like are you yeah like that's how i felt she was like why do you need all these and i was like pardon and then another and then i just said like oh just like for around the house and then some and then like the girl that was bagging it asked another question and i was like what the fuck's going on here like in my head you're the fucking fbi and then like immediately like it clicks in my head i'm like like, oh, I'm at a Trader Joe's. They like have to like they don't give a flying fuck.
So then I was like, oh, OK. Like then I felt better.
But immediately I was like, who are you to ask what I need with all these daisies? I do have to say like I know that we're more like introverted. But who are people who actually enjoy talking to a stranger over being with yourself? My boyfriend.
That's something he has to talk to a stranger about. We actually got into a disagreement because he said to me, oh, do you know the people that live on your floor? And I was like, that's unsafe.
I was like, why would I know the people that live on my floor? I just moved in a week ago. And he was like, well, it's not like your old building.
Like there's not that many people. Did you bake them muffins? He was like, so what if you see them in the elevator? Like, what do you say? And I go, nothing.
I go, how do I know the person I'm in the elevator with lives in that apartment? Like they might not live there. I'm not asking.
Let's talk New York elevator apartment etiquette. First of all, if, if someone's running to the elevator and you don't make it, you don't make it.
If someone, no one's open, close, close, close, close. And everyone will say thank you.
Okay. Everyone will say thank you.
If you leave the door open for someone, everyone goes, Oh my God. Cause then what are we going to do? Do that for every fucking person we'll be here all day then when you're in the elevator the people in the elevator with you that's your team that's your team outside the elevator for dead that's fucking dead then once when you're entering an elevator you don't say anything you don't say anything but if it is past 5 30 p.m and you're in the elevator when people get off you can say as they're leaving like while they're already gone already already walking out you just go have a good night have a nice nice good night and then more often than not they say you too and that's and that's how you know your neighbors and that's girlhood it's just it's just outrageous the amount of talking they want to do down there and i can't i don't have the time there is a meme going around of someone said good morning to an old lady and she's like good morning and then the person was like wow it's really nice out and she goes well that's enough you don't care i don't care that's where good morning okay we're done we're done here as you guys know i partnered with dsw to curate the cutest spring shoe collection just fabulous it's just so freaking adorable okay so i picked a bunch of flats a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers i tried to do an equal amount because i know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then i added a lot of really cute heels honestly i didn't even realize that i added a lot of white heels which i think is perfect because i feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but i really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them ever wonder what those pimple patches are that you see all over Instagram and TikTok Sizz is wearing them Hayley Bieber's wearing them well they're Starface and Starface just launched a new face wash and moisturizer it's for breakout prone and sensitive skin so literally perfect for me both products feature salicylic acid and they help unclog your pores and minimize your breakouts starwash is a foamy cleanser which is my favorite kind of cleansers i just feel like they really get in your pores you like know it's working.
And the star cream is a lightweight moisturizer that basically melts into your skin

and feels like a cloud. And obviously Starface has like the cutest packaging and they're just

cute fun products. So start by washing your face with a star wash and then you can put a star on any spots you need and you can finish with the star cream.
I'm going through a lot of breakouts right now, so I would literally have a galaxy on my face.

You can find Starwash and Starcream right now at Ulta Beauty, Target, and Starface.world.

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So anyway, this is the most LA shit that has ever happened to me and I love this story so much. And I was like, like i can't wait to tell the giggler so i said well first of all i see a giggler at air one and it's funny because thank god you're like okay i know i was like fighting for my life and then this girl was like oh my god hi tell page i say hi we took a selfie i'm feeling myself sit down eat my meal and as i'm getting up the girl sitting oh you sit there so there's an outer area where you can sit and i was feeling myself 70 degrees and i was just like eating i love eating alone just texting whatever so as i'm getting up this woman such girly really nice and calm was like by the way i really like your podcast and i said okay and i look at her in the eye i'm actually really good with faces i'm not necessarily good with names but like i will see someone be like oh they were episode three of svu they played the guy who got shot like i really remember a face i look at her face and i fucking know this face and not in a like I saw you 10 years ago way I'm

like this is like a very recognizable face and I go and I but I hate being that person like where were you in so I was just like do yeah do I know you and she looks at me and she's kind of like yeah and I'm like I'm so sorry are you an actress and she's like yeah and I'm like I'm sorry you can you please tell me like where do i know you from and she goes i'm the at&t girl stop and immediately i fucking lose i go oh my god wait so wait so she normally has bangs in all the commercials yes but she had her hair pulled back and she was like

with her son and the i couldn't and she had her hair like slick back like she really i know exactly who you're talking about this girl this what like these people are more famous than like brad pitt like we see them every day on our tvs so i'm like no i love that girl she's so freaking cute she goes i'm a giggler so then i'm like this conspiracy theory that like all every celeb listens the Giggly Squad is getting my head so big.

So I go,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh, so I'm like no I love that girl she's so freaking cute she goes I'm a giggler so then I'm like this

conspiracy theory that like all every celeb listens to giggly squad is getting my head so big so I go and she's like I love you and page and I go I'm so sorry can I get a photo with you so she bothered me and then I know I'm like am I'm like am I annoying the AT&T girl like I'm like is she mad at me and I'm like can I get a photo with you and she's like oh my god yes we take the photo and she actually like is a comic and she does acting so um shout out her name's milana and so shout out to milana that was so la and random i know gorgeous so la and random and i told her i was like all the gigglers are really hot and successful so like honestly it tracks and then no and then i walked 40 minutes in LA the gigglers like give me confidence wait to where like back to my hotel if it's under 45 i walked that oh yeah people thought i was a call girl um i ran into some comedians and we're both new yorkers because they're for the festival and they're like why are we the only people walking in this town and i'm like i don't know he was like smoking a cigarette your voice immediately changes and you they're just like automatically have a bacon egg and cheese in your hand you're like where did this come from but i'm so wild like i'm wearing no bra all my makeup for the morning was sweated out like it was chaos um and then i went back to the hotel so you're an LA girly yeah I've changed and then I went to to the hotel. So you're an LA girly.
Yeah, I've changed. And then I went to this party later.
And like, I think like Jim Gaffigan was there and like no one else. And I was like, this party's fucking lame.
Like, like I'm ruined. I can never go back.
No. I go only Jim Gaffigan is here.
Okay. Here's the thing that like, I feel like my mom has like said this like my whole life just to like work hard in, in like a sense, but it does always keep me motivated.
It is so easy to go up. Like it is so easy to live like a better life.
And it's so easy to like enjoy it. It so hard to like go down backtrack that's why that's why child stars have a hard time because the come up is so good and then their come down is the whole rest of their life that's why it's like you have to stay like grounded but like continuously have like a goal that you're working for that's why like anytime some people like talk about reality tv i'm like it is so easy to get lost in the fucking sauce and like wrapped up that if you don't have a goal of what you're working toward like you can't do like you can't maintain it well if you're only if your only happiness is like if you look likable in a scene they cut together you're living your life in just like chaos it's also like if your happiness is coming from these like random moments of like fancy shit then it's so unsustainable we're like yeah that's why anyone who wakes up and like literally smells the flowers if that can bring you joy like you're fucking dangerous like you're gonna yeah you're you're strong like you're mentally because like even even like like when i first moved to new york city like just being thrown into like certain experiences that i've never experienced before i was like oh i'll never not do this then so like i need to work hard enough so that like this is my i can do this

on the reg this is my norm so it is like a good it's so good to like be in those situations i feel like because it's so motivational like okay you had brunch with jim gaffigan and it's like now you're like okay i'm fucking pumped up and i'm fired up like what's next but it is cool to meet these people and be like oh they were me like they were me excited to go to a brunch like 20 years ago like Jim Gaffigan was joking he's like we're old geezers now and I'm like oh because they were the newbies yeah like who's Jim's who is Jim Gaffigan's Jim Gaffigan they all have They all have it. I love in interviews when like really famous people like say who influenced and like inspired them.
Like because when I was at the LA Fashion Awards, the like costume designer for all of Cher's costume got like the Lifetime Achievement Award. Oh, cool.
And it was just like showing pictures of all of Cher's's outfits every single celebrity has done an outfit based off of a Cher outfit so it's just like so crazy to see it's it's like your inspiration was inspired by someone else was inspired by yes like no one has an original thought like everyone is inspired by someone else and it's like okay but like who inspired Cher I also have to do a shout out because I got a facial yesterday like last second um for any like OG gigglers they remember after live giggly squads on Instagram live we would have would we have Andrew Collin or Andrew Collin we'd to andrew collin was doing like a dating show whatever well now he has like oh remember so now go and watch it he has like a gorgeous fiance in la who happens to be a like stunning amazing at facials and it's the kind of thing where you're like okay is she amazing at facials or is she just beautiful like you know you'll see a makeup artist and they're just doing beautiful girls i'm like are they good or are they just doing beautiful girls um but andrew told me like she's really fucking good at what she does and i've been meaning to get a facial by her this bitch did this thing like you know when you can feel your face lifted yeah when you're not even looking in the mirror like you feel lighter and she was like doing all this gua sha with my jaw and she was like oh this is tight i'm like that's literally 14 years of trauma um but i want to do a shout out to skin by brenna alexis skin by brenna alexis in la she's a facialist go to her she's so fucking good no getting a good facial i'm literally on a wait list right now oh my god facial i really want wait you're crazy no i've been on a wait list for two months you know what's so funny if they didn't have a wait list you'd be like i don't want to go new yorkers love waiting i went to like get an appointment i was like oh my god there's a wait list like fuck this and then i was like wait there's a wait list i'm bugging i need this facial this is why saying no and being unavailable actually creates more opportunities for you truly that's why like I stay home all the time it's so valid do you know um Brenna also she gave me really good advice because whenever I'm with a girl I'm always like tear my like tell me the truth tear my face apart tell me what I need first of all she's like you haven't drank water since 1994 and i was like just by looking at my skin and she goes look there's a difference between dry and dehydrated yes like you're oily like your skin is not dry you are dehydrated drink some water and i was like everyone's gonna every time i've gone to get a facial my whole entire life that was always the thing. You're just a little dehydrated.
And that's why like your skin isn't repairing quick enough when you do get a breakout and then you pick it and then it's worse and blah, blah, blah. I'm not kidding.
Not to sound like I live in suburbia, but like ever since I got a fucking Stanley, every time I get a facial now, they say your skin is so hydrated. This is my question, though.
They go drink more water. How much? Like how many Stanleys are you drinking a day? I now that I've like started now, I feel like I'm even like more thirsty.
Like if I don't have water, like my body now knows what it's like to be fully hydrated. So when I go below it, my body's like, um, hello, we don't operate like this anymore.
It giving you marketing scheme it definitely is a cult for sure and then you're peeing it's just like a lot of sacrifices you are peeing but the satisfaction of seeing your pee be clear i don't know her i've never met her no it's an insane feeling and like i get so many less headaches i drink it i drink a fuck ton of water so like i feel like normal girls are like filling it up once maybe twice a day i'm not kidding i'm filling this shit up like four times a day but i also like a lot of ice do you clean it in between okay that's like another controversy like how much fungi are you drinking no everyone's like no on tiktok they're like you have to clean it every day that's so much bad man nobody's fucking cleaning their stanley every day but every couple of days i do throw it in the dishwasher okay and i hand wash my straw with like one of the thingies okay fancy because i don't trust the dishwasher okay domestic icon of the straw hand wash no i'm a fucking hand washing over here with my gel x extensions but you know also new nail color of the month i'm calling it what solely because i got it the other day i didn't want it to be like baby blue but i didn't want it to be gray because that felt too dark so like a grayish light blue So like if you're wearing white it looks gray but if you're wearing blue it looks blue put it in the newsletter because I feel it I feel that's good too yeah one other thing she said too because I was like what serum should I use what masks should I buy like what's gonna solve my all my problems in like actual life and my personality and she was like do you cleanse and I'm like I mean I do some neutrogena like like take off my makeup and then I like throw I don't really always cleanse if I'm in the shower I do a face cleanse but like I don't even put my hair up in a bun like I literally just like take off my makeup and then put moisturizer on and she was like oh you're a naked mole rat no a literal mole rat she first of all she like kind of like air puked and then she was like no i don't yeah because i'm not even understanding that like i feel like i wasn't actually expecting her to say that first part because like obviously you're cleansing so this the thing at night i shower every night right so i do wash it in the shower but like if i don't shower that night i'm not really washing my face i'm just taking off the makeup putting moisturizer and then the morning wait you're taking off your makeup with what a neutrogena wipe which apparently just kind of moves it around no that's the most diabolical thing i've ever heard you say you're taking wait kim kardashian said she Neutrogena wipes 10 years ago. She was paid for that article.
She you're taking a Neutrogena makeup wipe. You're wiping off all your makeup.
Then you're putting on a moisturizer. Yes.
Immediately after you're a sick fuck. And you're actually so lucky that your skin is as flawless as it is.
Thank you. So she told me that the True Botanicals, like, cleansing balm is really good.
And she told me sometimes she triple cleanses. And she basically was like, it helps everything, like, the skin renew.
Like, she's like, cleansing is more important than serum, she said. If I'm, like, in my, like, Melissa Wood health, like, era like era then i'm triple cleansing but that's like it's not all the time well you need to work on that is what brenda would say but um but she basically was like keep it simple don't use a lot of products i go oh my god my friend page she uses so many products on her face i told on you i was like she's so like she's just so many products always fucking trying it i'm always using the product and then your mom's like maybe you should stop literally throwing the kitchen sink in every pore i'm like but somebody said that balsamic vinegar will dry up any also you have to try stuff for six months but you know you try it for like two days and you're like this isn't working no literally that's how i feel about getting my period i was like i thought i was gonna get it by now and then i was like oh i just like haven't taken the vitamins in a week i actively work against myself i get revenge on my own body also speaking of periods i don't know if you guys are experiencing this because i went off the pill like a while ago just because I was over it now i get the most insane consistent period but like the most insane period for two days like i can't function it's it's like spewing like a murder scene and then it's gone are you getting like stomach pains or it's just like you're bleeding a lot yeah yeah des was so funny he's such a dude i was like i have my period and he goes i feel like you always have your fucking period yeah they don't he's like you literally you you had you always have your i'll go have you ever been with a girl you're so like so when did wait when did you go off your birth control i'm gonna say like a year the time when i told we told all the gigglers to get off their birth control okay so like and thenlers started having babies.
And then when did you start getting it again? We did a baby boom. We had a giggler boom.
I never didn't get it. I've always had my period.
Oh, so you never stopped. No.
Like once you went off, it kept coming. Yeah, it's always coming.
But I was late. I didn't get my period until I was 14.
Yeah, I didn't get mine either until I was 13. What grade were you in in high school i'm just kidding you freshman no oh no i think that's when that's when i got mine that's when i feel like a normal everyone gets it i like that i was pretending like i was different i'm like i'm not like other girls one there's always the one girl who gets it when she's like 10 no in like i feel so bad for her she didn't deserve that she didn't deserve that no and everyone's whispering about it yeah because we don't really know what it is yet and she like she's like i don't fucking know either like here i am yeah she yeah she didn't ask for that life she didn't anyway okay we didn't ask for this life either stay strong out there um we We love you guys so, so, so much.
We are adding cities to the tour. We heard you.
The thing is, we'd been bothering our agents, and they were like, hey, we have to actually make sure the venues are available. I said, well, fucking call them again.
Call them again. I know the AT&T girl if you need a better connection.
If you need 5G. We them again.
So keep an eye out. Sign up for the newsletter to make sure you don't miss it.
And thanks for giggling with us. Bye.
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