Patreon Preview #338: Podcast Access w/ Alice Stanley Jr.

GPC, we're going back earlier.

Oh, it's up to me.

Yeah.

Hey, Aaron.

Yeah.

What about my friend Aaron?

I don't.

I'll

do one later.

Don't make me sing.

I'll do one later.

I'm much too much.

Just point to her shortly.

Don't make me dance, John.

Just point to her shortly.

You wouldn't like the way I dance.

Your first option.

Please clap a podcast for failing magicians.

Okay.

Thank God I was going to say, Jeb Bush.

Live from the parking lot behind Denny's.

And your neighbor's yard reviewed.

Ooh.

Okay, we'll do

live from the parking lot behind Denny's.

Yep.

Live from the parking lot behind Denny's.

Great.

Whenever you're ready.

Hey, everybody, it's Jeff.

We are live from the parking lot behind Denny's.

Technically, the parking lot behind Chili's as well.

Chili's and Denny's share a parking lot.

They don't share a dumpster.

Chili's doesn't have a dumpster anymore because they couldn't use it responsibly.

And so now it's gone.

I kind of set up this podcast because

Dan, my direct manager, told me to come out here and make sure the Chili's guys weren't throwing trash in the Denny's dumpster and because I can't be around customers because I get too mad.

So, so far,

you know,

I really don't even need to do the podcast.

I just have to stop the Chili's guys from using the Denny's dumpster.

But, oh, Britney, Brittany, Brittany.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, you want break?

No, I'm just throwing out some of the pancake trash.

Oh, cool, cool.

Brittany's one of our best servers.

Yeah.

Are you killing it in there?

Yeah, I'm doing okay.

A lot of people.

Talk to Dan for me.

She just wants me back in there.

I'm talking to a lot of customers, and they were kind of scared to.

Some of the customers mentioned me?

Well, yeah, they wanted to take their orders to go, and then I let them know.

I hate that.

I hate hate that.

Eat at Denny's if you're going to eat at Denny's.

Fuck.

No, but they're eating there now because I let them know that you're no longer a server.

Good.

No, yeah, good.

Yeah, no, yeah.

Dan's right.

Do you need a coat?

What's that?

Do you need a coat?

It's snowing outside.

Yeah, well, Dan, give me my coat back.

Oh, he took away your coat privileges.

Well, it's because I keep fireworks in there.

Excuse me.

It's hard to pull up right on top.

Do you know where Hillhurst and Jackson is?

What?

That is a good one.

That's like a Chili's employee wearing a fake mustache.

Do not fall for it, dude.

Hey, man, I don't know what any of that stuff that you said is.

He's trying to throw trash away.

He's wearing a disguise.

Are you trying to throw trash away?

Are you trying to throw trash away?

Yes.

Get the fuck out of here, man.

Get the fuck out of here.

This is for Denny's only.

I'm going to go back inside.

Cool, cool.

I'll see you when I'm out here for my smoke, maybe.

Yeah, like, yeah, for sure, for sure.

If you want to come out and smoke or whatever.

And I have weeds.

I'm already gone.

Yeah, you're gone.

Cool.

All right, man.

Well, you know, hey, pretty successful show tonight.

Scared one guy away who was definitely secret working for Chili's.

Wasn't scared.

Probably made a little progress in kind of getting Dan to invite me back in.

At least I have an ally on the inside now.

Oh, Brittany.

Brittany.

Brittany.

Brittany.

Yeah, what's up?

Cool.

Hey.

Brittany B.

Yeah, Brittany B.

Oh, you're bartending tonight, right?

Yeah, what's up?

Cool.

Yeah, no, yeah.

Sorry, was there a question or what?

How is it in there?

Is it?

It looks slammed.

I mean, the parking lot's full.

Is it slammed?

Are you slaying?

It's rocking because you're out here, my bro.

Cool.

Yeah.

Have you guys talked about me or anything?

Or does Dan want me back or anything like that?

What do you think the answer is, sweet pee?

Shit, Brittany.

I don't know.

You tell me straight.

Like, I could take it.

Like, if Dan doesn't want to.

Can you?

I don't know.

Like, maybe soften it a little.

All right, babe.

Melt it like butter or something.

Like, don't like.

Honey bun, you need a life.

Holy shit.

Honey bun, you need a life bad.

Yeah, no, you're cool.

You've been chilling out here for a little bit too long to be dead ass free with you.

I came out here to film a TikTok, saw your sadass, turned right around.

Cool.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah,

it sounds like you're super busy, so I'll let you get back to it.

I'm going to pop right back to it, but you just let me know if you need some hard truth, okay, my man?

Yeah, I actually don't need anything.

Because you know where you can find me behind the bar.

Yeah, I can't go in there.

Don't come to the door, Brittany's putting him in this fucking place.

I don't come to the door.

No, me and Brittany are cool.

Stop.

Do not crowd around the door.

This is not something we do for entertainment or fun.

This is something we do for the empathy of a human being.

Just crashing out.

You're crowding around the door.

Dude, you guys have to stop doing that.

Customers can't crowd around.

That's a fire hazard, safety hazard.

We could lose points.

You know what else is a safety hazard?

Fireworks in a coat.

Who said that?

Was that fucking Dan?

Dan, if it was, I apologize.

I apologize if I did that.

I apologize to do that because

before I shan't do it.

Do you have any hobbies?

Um, like being at the chilies is like, I mean, at the Denny's, and like getting the guys who do the chilies trash is like a huge hobby of mine.

And like, getting back from Dan's.

I'm just a regular person here to throw something in your garbage.

Be about your business, sir.

I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm just.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

You eat chilies.

You work at Chili's.

I know you.

You work at Chili's.

Oh my God, you do.

I've seen you before.

Okay, if I catch a guy, Dan said, if I catch a guy who works at Chili's putting trash in the bin, I can make him eat the trash.

Everybody, look, now he's got somebody who's misses doubt firing in a headlock.

What is this?

Triple dippers?

You have to eat all these triple dippers.

Don't mind if I do.

Whoa, actually, these triple dippers smell pretty good.

You can't eat our food, man.

What if I worked at Chili's?

You wouldn't fit in at Chili's.

All we do is set off fireworks and yell at customers.

No, please.

That's like my dream job.

Brittany, do you think Dan will let me go?

Sweet pee.

Dan will be more than happy to let you go.

Okay.

I'm using my one a night.

Send Dan out.

I have something to say to Dan.

Please send him out, Brittany.

I'm using my one.

Last time I did this for you, I really regretted it.

I know I've only been on for 15 minutes tonight, but please, this is my one.

Send Dan out.

I'm ready to quit.

I am going to send Dan out here, but if you don't quit, I swear to God.

I swear to God, I'm going to be back here tomorrow saying even more true stuff to you.

And this time, I'm going to include your love life and your personal hygiene.

No, it's okay.

Hey, Brittany, this is awesome.

Like, you're like a true friend.

And I hope that we, even when I go to Chili's, I hope that we can kind of stay,

you know, friends.

You know what?

We're gonna.

Dan, Brittany's awesome.

All right, I'm getting Dan.

She's the coolest person at Denny's, besides Dan.

Hey, Champ, what can I do for you?

Dan,

I've only ever wanted to make you proud.

Okay.

And that's why this baby bird has to spread his wings.

And tonight has to be my last night at Denny's because I'm going to work with this gentleman who is tossing the Chili's trash in the Denny's trash bin.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to work at Chili's.

Okay.

I need my coat.

I need my fireworks.

I need my first and last month rain.

Hey, sorry, can we wrap this up?

I just got a call that Daphne and Banana are going to be coming to the restaurant, so I need to set aside a ton.

Danny, I need my job back.

I have to meet Daphne and Banana.

Hey, you got it.

Oh, you guys, I'm very attached to Daphne and Banana.

And I actually do think we should do a full

episode of Daphne.

I'm really attached to that poor man.

Yeah.

There's something kind of sweet about him.

I don't know.

Wait, hold on.

GPC was playing himself, right?

No.

I love where your head's at, but this character actually yelled at customers, and JPC yells at waiter.

So it's kind of like a bizarro GPC.

One, two, three, four, hate Ridgel Ridgel's clue crew.

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