Patreon Preview #329: This IS JeopRiddie 2! (w/ Janet Varney)

From the Attle Rify Closet Studio in Chicago, Illinois, this is Jeff Riddy.

Welcome back to our second ever episode in our returning guests, Aaron Keith, JPC, and Janet Farney.

We'll get shot in.

We'll get you.

And now here is the host of Jeff Riddy Attle Rify.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Here's how the the game works if you know an answer please puzz in by saying the word puzz or by saying as we established last time we did one of these which is a while ago saying i will like

i will like

brother uh puzz uh yes aaron adult i'm really excited to play today i can't i i'm really grateful of all the work you put into this aaron a thousand points to you

Also, don't forget, fuck, you each have one Christmas wish, which

it's kind of carte blank to do whatever.

Jeopardy.

You get one Christmas wish.

So it's like real Jeopardy.

Kind of carte blanche.

I would like

two Christmas wishes.

Janet, are you using your Christmas wish to ask for two Christmas wishes?

She can have mine.

Two additional Christmas wishes.

Janet, you got it.

You got three Christmas wishes.

Okay.

Does that take mine or was that before I said that she could have mine?

Or it came up.

I would like all of JPC's Christmas wishes from now on.

Aaron.

Fuck.

You got it.

Like Roy Urbison said, pretty woman.

Anything you want, you got it.

Listen, this is the exact way we kick off every episode of Jeopardy.

The game works how the game works.

I think we all know that.

Before we get started, does anyone want to complain about anything?

Not a complaint, but no one asks me where I'm from or like what I'd like to do.

Okay, here are the categories for round one of Jeff Ready.

In these categories, of course, we have 200, 400,

600, 800, and 1,000.

It's going to be Indianapolis and nothing.

The categories are.

Janet, I am really excited to see you.

I feel like I really didn't give you a proper hello, but I ran into Brandon this weekend.

Hi.

Did he tell you?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, of course.

That was the, I didn't have questions about any other part of the night once he said that he saw you.

He met my boyfriend.

I know.

Oh, I'm so angry about that.

You beat all of you.

Gina hasn't met your boyfriend yet.

No, not yet.

No, no.

Wow.

Jinnah, I've met her boyfriend.

No, you haven't.

And I don't think she even wanted that to happen.

Yes, I have, Aaron, but it was years ago, way before you were dating in Patsy.

Fuck!

He wasn't a real and whole person until Aaron met him.

He's friends with a different one of our friends.

Yeah, that's how we met him.

Yeah.

I will like.

Sorry, Adam.

I wanted to interrupt you at the worst possible time, and I think I did a pretty good job.

Points?

Yes, you lose a thousand of them for perfectly timing an interruption.

And my I will like is unrelated to the game.

I'm so sorry.

I know we need to get started, but I will like no one else to meet Aaron's boyfriend until I have met him.

So if you could just get him locked up somewhere, I'd appreciate it.

He's coming to Portland with us.

Turn to our resident Santa.

Okay.

Feel lonely until then.

Glint of his eye and a wiggle of his nose, and that wish is granted, janet oh

you i wouldn't say he's coming to portland with us i told him you invited him true no no it has to be nice yeah you did not know i was using a christmas wish so really the host can decide when something you say is what's the difference between a normal wish and a christmas wish at all uh we've only done two of these and this one has just started um i think typically when you wish for someone no one else to meet someone else that's typically like a wish because i feel like in real life that's pretty hard to do Why would I do that to someone on Christmas?

Let me check with our restaurants.

On or around Christmas.

Santa's shaking his head no.

No, no, no.

Of course, Santa doesn't say ho-ho-ho.

He says, no, no, no.

Well, when you're checking with him on a rules question, right?

He can say yes, yes, yes, or no, no, no.

Yes, I'm, I'm checking his list twice just because there's a lot of redundancies here at Jeff Ready.

How creeped out would you be if you were a little kid and you were going to meet Santa in the mall, already creepy, creepy, agreed, and instead of ho-ho-ho, he was like, Yes, yes, yes.

He would be like,

Sounds like Santa just won a sports bet.

Yeah, a parlour.

He's looking at his phone.

Yes, yes, yes.

DraftKings paid off, baby.

Okay, I'm ready to play.

I'm ready to play.

What are the categories, Adol?

Well, hold on.

Oh, Aaron?

Oh, he's not ready.

I'm ready to play, Adam.

Okay.

The categories for round one are

mating call,

triple rhyme time,

one-minute Muppets, accidental inventions, before and after,

and probably sounds like.

Is there a way to put these in our chat?

Yeah, I already forgot.

Oh, there we go.

Oh, I do.

Now I'm flashing back to a conversation we had over the weekend where Adel was like, I'm not quite done making the categories yet.

And me hearing the categories and being like, he did it.

He did it.

He did it.

Just under the wire.

He did it.

And the factor as it's as it shows up in this chat is helpful because I'm going to think that I need to say, I would like time one-minute Muppets, please.

I would like accidental inventions before, please.

Why it doesn't format into because there's no formatting here.

Adult, since I have control of the board, since I ripped it out of the sound guy's hands,

I will take

Mating Call for 100.

Perfect.

For 100?

Yeah.

I think it's 246 and 8.

Nope, he said 100.

So what we'll do is we're going to turn the 200 into a 100.

I heard there was a 250.

That's 24.

246 and 8.

Wow.

So we're going to do the 200, but for 100 total points.

JPC, in mating call, what you're going to do is you're going to be an animal

and you're going to be leaving a voicemail on someone's answering machine.

Got it, right?

As if this is sort of a romantic entanglement.

Sure.

For this mating call for 100, you are an elephant doing exactly what I just described.

Okay.

Sorry, let me get this horse out of here.

Okay.

Jamesy, whenever you're ready, an elephant, please.

Okay.

I thought I heard Julia Child for a second, also.

Okay.

Okay, well,

hey, it's me, Mark.

Had a great time.

I don't want to get too long-winded on this.

Hope it doesn't get truncated by the machine.

Just a little elephant humor.

Just a little.

It's Mark the Elephant.

From our date.

I told you that you blew my mind and then I...

Blew a bunch of water in the air.

Sorry about getting your dress all wet, too.

Didn't really know how much water I I had in the old trunk.

Not a sex thing, by the way, water in the trunk, although it's pretty wet in there.

Anyway, this is his fourth time calling.

I'm screening my calls forever.

This is his fourth time.

Had a good time.

Called me back.

This is Mark,

the elephant.

That is correct.

100 points to DJPC, and you have control of the board.

Okay, I'm going to take

one minute Muppets for $600, please.

Great.

For one-minute Muppets, you have one minute to present a brand new Muppet as I describe them.

Okay.

And the other two contestants can kind of play

kind of kids maybe interacting with the Muppet.

Oh, Sesame Street.

Love it.

For 600,

you'll be playing a one-minute Muppet called Crumpet the Horse from Space, who teaches us about white lies.

Crumpet, Crumpet, we saved you a seat.

Oh, thank you for saving me a seat, little.

Is that an elephant?

Little guy, little gate, little guy.

Thank you.

Girl with a short haircut.

Got gum in my hair.

Guy is kind of gender neutral, so I'm Crumpet's cool.

You know, I was just in space for a minute.

Now, what's wrong with what I just said?

Crumpet, crumpet.

What kind of puppet am I?

That's right.

I was in space for more than a minute.

A minute, I was using colloquially, which is also known as a white lie.

Why does it white?

Crump it.

Crump it.

Yeah.

Why does it feel like you're always walking on eggshells since the incident?

Feels like you're really worried about stepping in it and getting canceled again.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I apologize to Martin Starr.

There's...

We have no bad blood between the two of us.

That's not even the incident I was referring to, Crumpet.

Okay.

Who else?

Who else did I call that name?

And that is correct.

That can't be correct.

One, two, three, four, hate Ridgel Ridgels Clue Cruise.

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