#361: The Crab & I

1h 0m

Happy Summer! We've got riddles hot off the grill. Also we are running low on tickets for our upcoming shows, so don't wait! Come see us on tour!

Starring:

Adal Rifai

John Patrick Coan

Erin Keif

Editing by: 

Casey Toney

Theme by: 

Arne Parrott

Logo by: 

Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris

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JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!

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Transcript

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The doctor was the mother.

He stood on a block of ice.

airplane.

He stabbed him with an ice cream.

And the worst of the name for my name.

Oh, guys, I got stung by a riddle.

Ow, ow, ow.

I went into the ocean and I got stung by a riddle.

Okay, wait, okay, okay.

Okay, so I pee on JPC.

Wait, what?

no that makes no sense do i have to solve out the riddle

ow ow ow ow ow ow my leg might like you got stung by a riddle and can't pee on me because it doesn't make sense

yeah wait a minute yeah yeah why would you pee on you pee on me this has nothing to do with you aaron you're not even into being peed on why would he waste the pee on you because to help me not be in pain anymore.

Were you guys, were you just about to pee on JPC and I interrupted?

Bud, I don't have to answer that.

Also, Aaron, what do you think that the opposite of pleasure is pain and it like works vice versa?

Just because something gives me pleasure, you think it'll take away your pain?

No, it's just famously when you get stung by a riddle, if someone, the pee neutralizes.

I'm not crazy.

I didn't know that.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, I didn't know that either.

And you're not crazy, Aaron.

JPC and I did just get matching knuckle tattoos.

On my right hand, it says kiss.

On the left hand, it says piss.

Same with JPC.

So we have our own thing going on.

This has nothing to do with you.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Beach.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

It feels like you're trying to dismiss me and I'm in pain.

If you are not going to buy ice cream, you have to walk away from us.

We're selling ice cream.

Kiss.

Piss.

Okay, fine.

I'll go back to my towel.

I thought we were all here at the beach together.

We came in the same car.

Excuse me.

Pardon me, Miss.

This is my towel.

Oh, there's sort of a French crab on your towel.

It seems like a French crab got your towel, Aaron.

Yeah, but it has my name embroidered onto it.

My name is also Aaron.

E-R-I-N?

Yes, racist.

Oh, yeah.

A lot of

Europeans have.

Sheesh.

Yeah, a lot of French people have women's names.

You guys, what?

Okay, you know what?

Fine.

I don't even want to be in the beach.

I'll go get a lobster roll.

Maybe a crab roll.

What?

What?

Aaron.

What?

In front of the crab?

Yeah, you stole my towel.

You don't know that.

That could be his towel.

It's my towel.

I've brought it to the beach.

It has my name on it, first and last.

Well, Aaron.

You are not going to buy ice cream.

Walk away from us.

Why are you still talking to me?

Aaron, something fell out of your pants.

What is this?

It's sort of a photo booth strip of photos of you and the crab.

Whatever.

Do you know this crab?

No, no, I don't.

Aaron, hold on.

I gotta go.

I'm kissing it though.

If you're not gonna buy ice cream, you have to leave.

Photos of us from Crabcoon.

We were there last year together.

Oh, it's like Cancun for Crabs.

Yeah, it's just Cancun.

So is it?

Okay.

Well, it's Crabcoon.

So

what do you call New York?

Crab York.

Okay, what do you call it?

New York Crabby.

It's Crab York.

New York Crabby.

Sorry.

Instead of calling a cab, what do you do in New York?

Uber.

Smart.

Yeah, smart.

All right.

Well, I'm going to head off to the studio and record an episode pay riddle riddle.

And if you guys want to come, then you're welcome to come because I'm nice.

Aaron, I'm midstream over here.

Well,

JPC is really good enough.

Kiss, piss, kiss, piss.

Yes, Aaron, fine.

Fine.

Let's go to the studio.

Let's record an episode.

Let's hammer it out.

Let's get do it quick.

Let's get back to the beach.

Let's figure out what that crabs deal is.

Yeah.

I love the summer, you guys.

We're finally in it, huh?

Let's see.

Looking at the calendar, maybe

close enough.

Sleeping in.

Erica is close enough.

School's winding down.

We're all having barbecues every day.

Salt, water in our hair, pee in our hearts.

We're having the best time.

The cicadas are terrorizing our neighborhood.

That's true.

Cicadas summertime?

Is summertime cicada time?

Yeah.

Summer every 13 years.

You guys, give me your best impression of a cicada.

Great.

Okay.

Sakita.

Kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me.

Yeah, they're like TV static.

So guys, what did I miss?

We haven't seen each other in a minute.

I mean, we saw each other yesterday, but in terms of recording, it's been a minute.

What did I miss?

What's going on?

What's going on?

We saw each other yesterday, so I feel like I don't want to answer this question.

No, but we haven't recorded.

Like, we didn't.

We took a week off last week.

Let's see.

Um, well, not for the show.

For the show,

you got your episode last week.

It was the bunka bunka one.

We all remember it, okay?

You got your episode.

Uh, what's going on?

Aaron, what's new with you?

Aaron, oh, yeah.

Maybe she's fishing for something.

Erin, what's new with you?

Well, I really have nothing.

You know what, though?

I am learning a lot of new skills over here.

Okay.

No, that would be useful.

I'm trying, I'm trying to learn how to do all beauty maintenance stuff at home.

So I learned how to do my own gel manicure.

And I've been practicing on my friends.

Okay.

I've learned how to dye my own hair blonde.

Sure.

I'm learning how to do all this stuff by myself because I just, it's significantly cheaper.

And so

that's what I'm up to over here.

Are you cutting your own hair?

I am.

Okay.

Now, as a person who recently cut my own hair, I got to say, it's fine.

It's fine.

It saves you 30 bucks.

Yeah, it's nice.

Well,

women's haircuts, it's a bajillion dollars, especially in Los Angeles.

My God.

But aren't you paying for the gossip?

Yeah,

but like my hairdresser was like just a mom of two and like really loved her life, seemed pretty settle in it.

So I wasn't getting like any crazy stuff.

Oh, yeah.

You're like, what were Coleman and Alibi up to this week?

Yeah.

That's great.

I love it.

Oh, they learned to ride ride a bike.

That's so lovely.

You know,

tell me you did cocaine off a table in West Hollywood.

Let's talk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They didn't, not really doing that.

They're not really living that hard life.

Okay, cool.

So then you're just saving money at home.

So you're doing your own cocaine off your own table.

Exactly.

Smart.

That's smart.

That's smart.

Farm to table.

Farm to table.

Farm to table.

Farm to table.

That's responsible.

Aaron, where do you source your skills?

Is this like YouTube?

Are you subscribing to some some sort of online course class?

That's exactly what it is.

It's YouTube.

I'm looking on YouTube.

I'm reading.

I'm watching tutorials.

I'm buying the stuff from beauty supply stores that professionals buy from.

Smooth.

And

trying to go as slow as possible because I'm dying my hair blonde and you can, I could like destroy my hair and have big chunks of it fall off.

So I'm having to be really careful.

Is that what happens to blondes?

Yeah, well, you're bleaching your hair.

They say that you make a blonde, you break some eggs.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, a lot of blondes actually do pass away from it as well, too.

So it's like, it's like really risky.

It's like one of the riskiest things that you can do as a brunette.

I could die.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's sort of the only thing I'm doing with

my life.

What's next on your like...

not self-improvement, but like self-skill, like doing it for yourself.

Like, are you going to start cooking meals?

Ooh, I've all, I mean, I feel like I'm always kind of cooking meals.

I've been an adult for a long time.

How long?

I don't know.

A couple of minutes.

I just watched you DoorDash an egg old waffle and DoorDash a toaster.

So I'm like,

and I'm trying to figure out where the waffle goes.

Because it's like this big kind of cardboard box.

I don't know.

Oh, you have to take it out of the box.

Ah, too complicated.

I hate when recipes are so complicated.

I think the next thing I might want to learn is to sew,

but that is a pretty expensive hobby.

So I

mean law school, what is three years

to sue.

That's funny.

What's funny?

I'm so fucking sick of you guys treating me like I'm an asshole.

So I need to maybe figure out something cheaper to do.

Do you have

like because you're thinking of like freehand or like getting a sewing machine?

I was thinking I've been wanting to get a sewing machine for a long time.

Yeah.

But I think

it's just, yeah, I don't know if I, it's sewing machines are expensive.

And then

like fabric, I just don't want to, I don't know.

Not to dox Adelaide too bad, but within our neighborhood where we live in Chicago, I drive by all the time and I've been so intrigued about going in.

There's a singer store?

Yeah, there's a singer store.

And it says like it's sewing machine repair store.

Huh.

And I'm like, you know how you like look, go by like, I don't know like a mattress firm and you're like, who is possibly buying a mattress?

This has to be like a drug front operation.

A sewing machine repair store in 2025.

And it's been there for a while, like a long while.

I'm like, you know, how could it be in business?

How could it still be open?

I love that.

My mom gave Gemma her old singer machine and then got her

class or something?

Sorry, singer.

It's called a singer machine.

You sing it to the mic.

And then got her classes at that singer store store for like to learn how to sew and everything.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

So some, I mean, my mom, for one, is, I guess, feeding money into this.

If they do classes, that's one thing.

Cause I feel like, especially like, you know, in the pandemic, I think people were interested in picking up like a skill like that.

So that's one thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just, it just seems like one of those like old-timey shops that you wouldn't have thought twice about existing 50 years ago, but now you're like, man, like this is a business.

Like, what's the rent on this place?

You know, it does seem like that.

I love stuff like that, though.

You're like, oh, good for you.

I love that this is, this still exists.

I think that way anytime I pass like a

store that's like all aquariums, where it's like, we sell aquarium stuff and also fish and everything.

And it's like, who is, who's going in here besides someone with kids who wants to get air conditioning for 50 minutes?

I always think about that too.

And then Mariah and I have like a restaurant we really like in our neighborhood.

We had one and we tried to go there the other week.

We like had a babysitter and everything, but we were like, we never need a reservation at this place.

And And then we went, we were like, Oh, it's permanently closed because, and they were like, Thanks for 28 years.

And I was like, Yeah, maybe the fact that we never needed a reservation maybe could have told us something about how that restaurant was.

Was it Thanks for 28 years?

Was like passive-aggressive this thing?

No, it seemed like it was like

thanks a lot.

Like, we genuinely appreciated the community being here for 28 years, but it was a really good restaurant too.

And it closed down.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

Bummer, bummer.

Yeah.

It was a Fazoli's.

Great breadsticks.

Horrible breadsticks.

But yes, but free in infinite.

Well,

I'm laying it out.

About to get to getting.

About to get to getting.

Who

would hate to be old man puzzles for this episode?

Who's going to tell her?

Couldn't be my ass.

Who's going to tell her?

Couldn't be my ass.

Fuck.

All right.

Here we go.

Yes.

These are from Mitchell.

What are from Mitchell?

Oh my God.

Tell me these aren't riddles.

Yes.

These are warm-up riddles.

The idea is pretty simple.

Mitchell just emailed us some of his opinions.

Yeah.

These are.

These are Mitchell's opinions.

Hey, if you have like a list of like five hot takes, go ahead and email us.

Oh my God.

I'm so excited for the hot takes.

episode.

I want it to be brief, but it has to be like five hot takes.

One sentence.

Here's the thing.

they will never, ever get on the show if they are not legitimate hot takes.

If your hot take is like, water's too spicy or whatever.

Water's too spicy.

It's not getting on the show.

That is a hot take.

I want real-ass controversial hot takes.

What would be an acceptable hot take?

Give the listeners an example.

What did Mitchell write in?

He wrote in Riddles.

I forgot it was Riddles.

It wasn't hot takes.

Yeah.

Hot takes would be like, Pringles is the best chip.

Tim Duncan is the best player of all time.

Pringles is the best chip is

wackadoo.

That's what I'm saying.

That's insane.

That's what I'm saying.

I know.

That's wild.

Okay, hot take.

The Girardilli dark chocolate brownie mix is better than a homemade brownies from scratch.

I feel like that's not that hot of a tip.

It depends on who's making it from scratch, I guess.

Yeah, you're right.

Okay.

So it's like a dog is doing it?

It's like a dog is making it from scratch.

That's like saying surgery at a hospital is better than surgery at home.

I guess it depends on who's making Mitchell took 90s movie titles and switched them for cinnamon.

Cinnamons?

Oh my god.

Mitchell put cinnamon in movies that's worthy of doing on the show?

Mitchell, I'd rather hear your fucking hot takes, brother.

Switch them for synonyms.

Feel free to use my name.

Thank you, Mitchell.

Example.

Deceased Authors Club.

Dead Poets Society.

Exactly.

Shit.

Shit.

Okay.

Wow.

Adult's.

Maird.

As a French crab would say, maird.

I'm I'm trying to think of hot takes.

I would like to see a scene.

Adel, you are a beloved teacher that has really been there for us all year.

And this is the last day of school.

And it's me and JPC trying to thank you.

Just want to thank you all for a

great year.

And I feel like everyone really brought their A game.

But seriously, let me know if you need a letter of recommendation or anything at all.

Wow, two scarlet letter puns in one sentence.

awesome he's the best there ever was i can't believe he's not coming back next year because of that huge scandal

yeah i did commit adultery everyone probably sees um well we didn't know about that we only knew about you siphoning money from the town oh um

whoops yeah because you were supposed to like run the music program but right

you were kind of just collecting checks from the parents yeah collecting checks from the parents and then i melted down all the brass instruments and sold it for scrap um

So you won't be seeing me much, maybe on TV.

Oh, because of your trial?

Because of the trial.

Yeah.

It's sort of a Scopes Monkey trial situation where, you know.

He's still teaching us.

It's the last day of school.

He's still teaching us.

I know how to read poetry because of you.

So, of course, we've been studying the Scarlet Letter.

Now we're going to dive headfirst on the last day into the Scopes Monkey Trial.

Just a quick little in and out, dip our toes in the Scopes Monkey trial.

He's amazing.

He's so funny.

Yeah, go for it.

We're listening.

We're all ears.

We're all ears.

Go ahead.

I think he's a music teacher, right?

So the schools,

put down, no, put down your instruments.

Actually, bring those up to the front.

At the end of the class, I do need to melt those down.

So schools used to not teach.

He probably got caught because of how much he says, melt them down.

Shut up.

I want to hear about the Scopes Monkey Trial.

It's a musical term, Meltdown.

And thank you all for playing Freeze Frame at the top top of class.

I feel like that's always a great song to hear in brass.

Just a beautiful song.

So back in the olden days, evolution was not taught in schools.

Creationism was, you know, a little taboo.

For some people, for others, they embraced it.

But you taught us both.

I walk the middle line, right?

I don't drive on either side of the road.

England's

depths of knowledge on this trial.

Please give me space.

So a teacher named Mr.

Scopes one day walks into school and I want to say Teddy C.

And there's a monkey in class.

And he says, hello.

Who's this?

This is not it.

No.

And the monkey says, God is dead.

And Mr.

Scopes says, what did you say?

And the monkey said, God is dead.

And so Mr.

Scopes and the monkeys, they start to kiss.

The bell rang.

Oh, no.

Different bell.

That's a different bell.

No, that's the bell.

No, no, no.

I have my my own bell.

Scene then.

I have my own something, whatever that could have been.

Okay.

Jesus.

Doesn't you sound like a Muppet?

Sorry.

Hmm.

Aaron, you know what?

I don't say this enough.

I don't know if I've ever said it.

I really like when Muppets, I don't know if it's just Kermit or if all Muppets do it.

When whoever's operating

their mouth is, that's, that brings me so much joy.

It's the best.

It's so hard.

I wish my face could do that.

I can do that with my butt.

What?

Okay.

He's getting up.

He's turning around.

Okay, his butt is Kermit the Frog.

Kermit the butt.

Kermit the butt.

Yeah, it's Kermit the butt.

Plaything tale.

You should be able to get this quickly.

There are warm-up riddles.

Plaything tale?

Plaything tale.

T-A-L-A.

Story.

Yeah.

Never-ending story.

Plaything.

Find something.

Plaything.

Toy Story.

Doll story?

Toy Story.

Doll story.

Classic.

Falsifier, Falsifier.

Fire Liar.

Suppressed vocalizations of Young Ovine.

Shut up, Little Piggies.

What is it?

Suppressed.

Suppressed?

Shut up.

Once you get the title of this, Shut Up, Little Piggies, is going to be so fucking.

Clive Owen is.

Shut up, Little Piggies.

Suppressed vocalizations.

Suppressed vocalizations.

Young ovations.

Quiet lambs.

Quiet pig.

Quiet pig.

Young ovine.

Not pigs.

Quiet cow.

Quiet.

Oh, oh,

yeah.

What's an ovine?

Bovine?

I know what a bovine is.

What's an ovine?

I don't know.

I assumed it was.

It's a barnyard animal.

Ovine.

Charlotte's Webb.

No.

What was the first one?

Suppressed.

Suppressed

vocalizations.

Quiet.

Hum.

It's another word for quiet.

Shush.

Shush pig.

Silence.

Yeah.

Silence of the lambs.

Yeah.

Silence of the lambs.

I'd like to see a single.

Wait, what was the thing?

Ovine is a lamb.

That sucks so much.

That's like the person, like Bovine and Ovine, they were like, yeah, I don't know, man.

I'd like to see

from Shut Up Little Piggy, which is sort of a knockoff

of Silence of the Lambs.

And Adel, you're the therapist interviewing JPC.

I thought to come to your cell and just get some information about what you did.

Could you tell me about what happened to put you in this place?

Shut up.

Whoa, little piggy.

Rude.

Okay.

Alright.

I'll see you later.

I had some.

What?

What?

I had some food and stuff, but never mind.

I'll go talk to someone else.

Wait, what do you mean?

Talk to someone else.

She's gone.

Crap.

Well,

hello, I'm a therapist, and I've come to talk to you about what you've done.

Please tell me.

Shut up, little piggy.

Yaikes, Alruda.

Good day, sir.

No wine or cheese for you.

It's just kind of...

I'm trying to display my...

I'm a serial killer, you know?

Don't just leave.

Don't.

Why come?

Yeah.

Hi.

Um, Daphne, Daphne, go, go talk to the man.

Go up to the glass and talk to the man, Daphne.

My child has some questions for a book report.

Um,

how many people have you killed?

Don't tug at your dress, Daphne.

Try a different tactic.

My, aren't you a nice young woman?

How rude.

I was told that you say, shut up, pig, as a calling card.

Daphne, let's go.

Warden, warden, warden.

Yes.

I think I'm ready for my lethal injection.

You're not scheduled to be injected.

Schedule it, then.

Oh my God.

Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see.

Let's see, let's see.

What are you doing?

Let's see.

What are you doing Friday the 28th?

3 p.m.

Okay, let me see.

Went daily schedule.

23 hours of solitary confinement or one hour they splash some water on me and then they get feed me some food through my mouth hole.

I think I'm free that day.

Shut up, little piggy.

A petulant serial killer is

something we need.

Passive, aggressive serial killer.

Expire forcefully.

Expire.

Die hard.

Ooh, nice one.

Yes.

Yes.

Marriage vocalist.

The wedding.

The wedding singer.

Yep.

Never had one lesson.

Reptile Period Reserve.

The Jurassic Park.

Yes.

Reptile Period Reserve.

I do want to see a scene.

Oh, my God.

Well, let me float it by, Aaron.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, Adel.

I called for a scene without really thinking about it.

I was going to have two dinosaurs that just got their period, but.

Oh, that's not good, is it?

I feel like you're going to be in the scene.

You're going to be like, I don't really want to play this.

And then JPC is going to be like, I got my period, and it's, you know, protozoic.

Right.

So we're sort of burning through all the jokes right now.

So maybe we'll pivot.

How do we get to see a scene?

What's good, is it?

You two are two dinosaurs, and you just got your period for the fuck.

Whoa, whoa, what?

Whoa.

What is what the hell?

Did I sit in something?

What the hell?

Oh, my God.

Veronica.

I can't.

I can't.

I'm a D-Rex.

I can't.

I can't.

Help.

Here,

girl, I got you.

Here.

Here's a tampon.

Thank you.

You know what she with those little arms.

Thank you.

I can't.

I can't.

Girl.

I can't.

No way.

I'm not doing it.

I can't.

Girl.

I didn't ask you.

I'm just saying I can't.

You're saying I can't, but you want me to do.

Just have to figure.

I mean, if I don't use a tampon, I'll simply go extinct.

That's not.

That can't.

That couldn't be.

That's not how we...

That couldn't be how we all.

And I can't.

That's not.

And how would that even work?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Oh, this is getting bad.

Oh, I'm leaving a trail.

I can hear velociraptors.

You're a T-Rex.

I'm chumming the ground.

Is that a phrase?

Can you chum on land?

You're an apex predator.

Excuse me?

Velociraptors are chickens.

Well, they always hunt packs.

That's okay, though.

You're huge.

I think you'll be fine.

I think you'll be fine.

What's that?

Peggy, I'm a pacifist.

You know, that's the other thing.

If you've been calling me Peggy, it's just eggy.

The P is silent.

Every P that I have is silent, okay?

Well, not every P because I've heard it.

Sounds like a racehorse sometimes at the water goal.

First of all, that's not a P.

That's me on my Iread.

Okay.

Seed.

No, no, no one called Seed.

I did.

I was going to let that go for 10 minutes.

I was a pterodactyl.

And pterodactyl is the P is silent.

Aaron, does that make sense to you?

No.

Great.

Pateril.

Pateril.

Ugh, more of these, please.

Virtuous desire tracking.

Virtuous desire tracking.

Hmm.

Dead man.

Good horny spreadsheet.

Goodwill hunting.

Goodwill hunting.

Or otherwise known as good horny spreadsheet.

All spreadsheets are pretty horny if you like to be organized.

That's right.

Do you like Excel?

How do you like them?

Them Excels.

Them Excels.

How do you like them Excels?

Chronological Enforcement Officer.

Chrono Date?

Chronological.

Chronological Enforcement Officer.

Zodiac.

No.

Chronological

Officer.

Something cop.

Time Cop.

Time Cop.

Time Cop.

Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Atypical Innate Drive.

Russia.

Atypical.

Atypical.

Different

drive.

Different

innate, odd internal

go.

What was it again, Aaron?

Atypical innate drive.

Atypical innate drive.

Atypical is like strange.

Strange, stranger, different.

Odd.

Unusual.

Unusual suspects.

Unusual suspects.

Okay.

I think

I feel like I'm trying to think of any.

Oh, actually,

I would say not, instead of atypical, do typical.

Typical is better.

Typical.

Typical.

Innate drive.

Typical.

Regular.

Normal.

Yeah, now we're on the right track.

Ordinary people.

Ordinary

average.

Yeah.

every day.

You're getting close.

No, you're getting like you're circling the word.

Standard.

Standard.

Base package.

LE trim.

God damn.

Okay.

Synonyms.

Simonins.

Simonins.

Aaron, can you give us maybe an actor that was in this movie?

I don't

know.

You don't know a single actor from this movie?

How would we ever get it?

Normally.

Again,

this has a famous shot in this movie.

Oh.

And if I give up,

if I say any actors in this, you're going to get it right away.

Joker.

Star Wars.

The stair scene.

It involves a white dress and someone sitting in a chair.

Oh, oh, basic instinct.

Yes.

Wow.

Nice one.

I'd like to see a scene.

I've never seen Basic Instinct, but I know the cultural touchstone of the dress in the chair.

Yeah.

I'd like to see a scene.

You guys are in a scene, and

JPC, you are accidentally flashing Adel

when you open your legs a little bit.

And Adel, you're trying to be politely pointed out to him to make him.

And what's the context?

Where?

You guys, I don't know what the context is in the movie, so just you can make up a context.

Okay.

Well, well, well.

I see what's going on here.

You, my roommate, are stealing my stuff in the middle of the night.

You thought I was on vacation, Roger, didn't you?

In fact, I knew that you weren't on vacation.

I wanted you to be home.

Oh, because.

Because.

No, I'm about to.

This is the climax.

I'm about to let

you know my whole...

My whole thing.

Why don't you stand...

Why don't you stand behind this towel?

I'll stand where I please

if it pleases you.

No.

you thought that I thought that you were on vacation.

Why are you swiveling back and forth at slap?

But I wanted there to be a hole in your alibi.

Come on, you know what you're doing.

You thought that I was just some boner who you could blow over.

Come on,

but I had an evil plan to show you my penis and my butthole.

See,

Come on.

Come on.

All right.

Have you ever accidentally, Aaron, I know that you have.

What?

Oh,

you're exposed to yourself.

Accidentally exposed yourself to someone.

Yes.

I don't think so.

I have never, I have never, well, I guess I almost said accidentally, intentionally exposed myself to someone, but I have had someone

open

a bathroom door on me.

Oh, I've had that.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

That's fair.

That's fair.

And that's what I said to the persistent: hey, man, that's fair.

You got me.

Good game.

Hey, good game.

Good game.

Good game.

It's always, though, the thing about a bathroom door that you'll go into a public bathroom and you'll shut the door and you'll be like, wow, this doesn't really lock, but I guess it like shuts good enough.

Yeah.

Terrible.

Terrible thought process because that is nine times out of ten going to end with someone opening that door on you.

First, turning it like 10 times to be like, you know what a locked door is.

Why do you keep checking it?

You're basically one of the knocks.

Oh, this is the one you got to kick in.

This is one of those bathroom stalls that auto shuts that you just have to push in.

Where they have shoes at the bottom just to

confuse you.

It's shoes on the ground so you know where to put your shoes.

It's like blocking tape.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

All right.

John, do we have any more movie?

No, I think those are it for now.

So we're going to take a quick little break, just a small break.

If that's okay?

Yeah, of course.

Try to think of some more hot takes.

Hey, French Crab, do you have any hot takes?

Chicken Codon Bleu is better than

Filet Mignon.

Come on, man.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, did you get it?

Did you get on camera?

No, sorry, I wasn't recording.

No, me neither.

Guys, come on.

I feel like, and this is not an indictment of you, but I feel like I keep doing the same skateboard trick.

I keep hitting myself in the junk, going down this rail the exact same way every time.

And I feel like you guys are just fumbling with the camera, and I'm beginning to think it's on purpose.

Adela and Erin, make eye contact.

Wink, wink, wink.

No.

Well, of course, we did build a beautiful website on Squarespace.

Yeah, we're using Squarespace.

For all your goofs and slips and gags.

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And I need to pay to offset the cost of the terrible damage I'm doing to my body.

Yes, and Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website, like of you doing this awesome trick that you're gonna have to do a few thousand more times.

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Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops.

And videos of JPC falling gracefully.

But all the videos so far are like you guys in like your face.

It's It's like reaction shots because you have the camera turned the wrong way.

Well, that's because we've been using Squarespace's analytics, JPC, I'm not going to pronounce that word, how you pronounce it, analytics, because we're making smarter business decisions with Squarespace's intuitive built-in analytics tools.

We can review website traffic.

We've learned a lot of people love when we make fun of you, learn where to focus our engagement, which is like kids laughing at us laughing at you, and track revenue from bookings, invoices, or product sales.

You know what?

I don't care.

I'm going to post whatever videos that you guys make.

I think the content is going to stand on its own.

I think I'm going to be successful.

And if you want to be successful, just head to squarespace.com/slash Riddle for a free trial.

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JPC, why don't you do a flip-oll- over that

bookcase?

Okay, I'll try it one more time.

Take hundreds.

Yeah.

Oh, it doesn't hurt anymore.

Uh-oh.

It doesn't hurt anymore.

Oh, boy.

I like it less.

GPC, you know how not too long ago Aaron was a car.

We don't really need to dwell on it.

Sometimes you're asking yourself weird things like, why didn't they teach us this in school?

I feel that way almost anytime I'm dealing with money.

Amen.

Famously, I'm very bad with money.

Famously, you're very good with money.

That's why I'm giving my kids, aka my cats, a head start on their money skills with acorns early.

Now, if I know your cats, they're going to take those acorns, put them outside your door, and then feed them to squirrels so they can watch squirrels going outside of your door.

But children, human children, they're very different.

They have different learning patterns than cats.

We're getting wildly off topic.

Erin used to be a car.

That's why she's not here.

But that's been resolved at this point.

So we don't have to worry about that.

Mostly been resolved.

Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up.

This is something that I am going to be gifting to friends that i myself hopefully one day will be gifting to a child and again to my cats start with the in-app chores tracker teach your kids or cats the value of a dollar then let your kids set up their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early and you could maybe be like hey let's set a goal that you save up to buy i don't know like a car one day

Yes, because it is legal to buy a car.

Yes.

Even if it is or was a human at some point, Because if it's now a car, it's fine, and there's no laws against that.

Plus, kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence.

Plus, with Acorn Early's spending limits and real-time spend notifications, parents always stay in control.

I have played around with the Acorn's Early app, so it's still a little early for my child, but I really love the features.

I really love how simplified it is.

I actually think that it can make learning about money fun and engaging, and I think that those are very important things.

It's also really important to demystify, you know, the money.

You know, money isn't something that's like,

you know, dirty or dangerous or something.

And it's just like a tool like anything else that we use to exist in society.

And I think that Acorns Early is a great way to introduce children to that.

Absolutely.

Hey, JPZ.

Do you notice?

Even though Aaron's not a car anymore, that sometimes when she sneezes, it sounds like vroom.

Yeah.

And sometimes when she,

not to be indelicate,

farts, it sounds like Hong Kong

passes gas.

It sounds like Hong Kong Hong Kong Hong Kong Kong.

Yes.

And then I immediately want to get anyway.

Ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save, and spend?

Get your first month on us when you head to acornsearly.com slash hey riddle or download the acorns early app.

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Aaron's not a car.

Take control of your money.

Ah, Aaron Keefe, JPC, have a seat.

Welcome to dinner.

Fun.

Fun.

And this is gratis, right?

I want to say

potatoes.

Ah, gratis.

Yes, the potatoes are free, but the meal is exquisite and the finest.

Hey, Aaron, can I tell you a secret?

Yeah.

This is tempo.

It's all tempo.

Oh, it smells so good.

That's why it smells so good.

I don't know can I tell you how grateful I am for this?

Yes.

This season, this like back-to-school season, always has a wave of busyness, leaving very little room for me to like cook for myself and make nutritious meals.

So like this means so much.

Oh, Aaron, I agree.

Tempo serves up fast, feel-good, single-serving meals that are crafted to cook in just three minutes.

A minute for each of us.

So you can eat well without sacrificing taste or convenience.

Wait, should the chef, should the chef be saying that?

Because I can hear that.

That sounds like the chef is serving.

With new recipes each week that are made with real ingredients and nutrient-rich, they make it easy to keep up a healthy lifestyle.

Look, I know about Tempo's perfectly portioned lunches and dinners that take the guesswork out of eating well.

They're fully prepared and they can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes.

I just thought this was like a fancy French dinner and potatoes are gratin and all that stuff.

Am I out of line here?

You can make it customized to you, monsieur.

Protein bag, calorie conscious, carb conscious, and fiber-rich.

Bonjour, bonjour.

Bonjour, bonjour.

Some of my favorite meals.

Bistro-style garlic Dijon chicken with green beans and roasted tomatoes.

La la la.

That sounds good, yeah.

Chef kiss.

Well, I just call it kiss, I guess, not chef kiss.

Also, ooh, beef barbaroa rice bowl with poblano cream sauce and corn.

My favorite woman, Barbara Coa.

It's weird to say corn in a French accent.

Kyron.

Also, don't say my favorite woman.

My favorite woman.

Look, all I know is that for a limited time, Tempo is offering my listener 60% off your first box.

So go to tempomeals.com slash riddle.

That's tempo meals.com slash riddle for 60% off your first box.

Tempo meals.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Rules and restrictions may apply.

Bonjou.

Bonjou.

Bonjou?

A bonjou.

I don't know.

You say.

Say it to him now.

And goodbye.

Bonjou.

Bonjour.

And my favorite woman is.

No, in the ad.

And we're back.

And during the break,

JPC and I decided to learn a skill.

And I'm proud to say, JPC, you might want to say it with me.

I'm proud to say that JPC and I learn

more

code.

Hit us with it.

Dot.

Let's.

We'll each do one.

We'll go back and forth.

Dot.

Dot.

Okay.

Dot.

Mm-hmm.

Dot.

Okay.

Oh, I thought you were hitting me with a code and I was hitting you with a code.

We're going to do it.

We're doing it.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

You guys are being really offensive.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Okay.

Dot.

Dash.

Dot.

Dash.

Dash.

Dot.

Doubt.

Dot.

Dash.

Niche.

Dot.

Do it.

Dot.

Die.

Dee.

Niche.

Do it.

Dot.

Erin, do you want to translate?

I'll marry you.

I will do it.

They did propose to me.

Yes, yes, a thousand times.

Yes.

Aaron, someone proposed to you with like one of those

smoke-riding airplanes or whatever that's called.

Skywriting.

I'd be like, what are you doing?

How do you even know me at all?

How do you want it to happen?

Come on.

You got to have a fantasy.

You got to have a fantasy.

No woman as old as you are who isn't married.

Well, I don't know if I'll ever get married.

I don't know if it's 100% necessary.

You won't.

Hey, thanks.

But if I did, I would maybe, I would want it to be specific to whoever's proposing to me, like a special spot.

Definitely nothing

with the crowd or public or on a screen.

I don't like to be perceived.

Okay.

So not like a Panera and you go to eat your bread bowl and there's a little crunch and it's a ring or something.

Oh, God, that sounds horrible.

Do you think that you would, like,

are you the kind of person who would be savvy enough to pick up on it?

You're like, wait, why are they inviting me back to the prison where we met?

You're like, hold on.

Hold on.

I think I know what's going on here.

I used to wear big hats at that prison and come and cook razor blades into cakes for you at this very present.

I like instead of being like, let me get you out of here.

Let me spring you.

It's like, let me make sure you can cut some fucking.

Yeah, let me give you a weapon.

I think, yeah, I

can pick up on a break in pattern pretty easily.

Like when Zorp said, I love you for the first time, I was like, are you about to

me?

And I was like, are you about to break up with me?

Like, he was like very nervous and kind of sweaty.

And I was like, something's happening.

So I think I would probably be able to.

She said, I love you.

And you said, are you about to to break up with me?

Before, well, no, I didn't say it out loud.

I just was like,

are you okay?

You seem like he seemed like sick.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, you seem like really going through something.

And I got on the floor next to him and I was like, are you okay?

I thought someone said that they loved you and your first response was, oh, no.

Are you about to break up with me?

That sounds like a bad thing.

Then

I was like, that might be something for therapy.

Well, for sure I have an attitude like that.

But I think also, if I were to want to get proposed, hypothetically,

if

I, somewhere in Massachusetts or New England, would be quite nice, like Castle Island or Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.

But I actually, I don't really care.

Like, I don't, there's some stuff I care about, and that is not one of them.

I mean, I will, I've said it a thousand times.

I'll say it a thousand times again.

As long as she's rich,

as long as I'm rich, I will, whatever.

The only thing I care about.

The John Kerry method.

Yes.

Did he hear that?

Exactly.

A Hines.

The Hines.

Heiress.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what I would care about, though, is a ring.

But he fucked a Hunts in college.

I don't want a ring that's too expensive.

I said, fuck to Hunts.

Don't marry a Heinz, fuck a Hunts.

That's everyone in New England says.

Yes.

Why eat the mustard if you can get the ketchup for free?

If you're not fucking an everyday value 365 when you're young, I don't know what you're doing.

Talk about stone ground.

Oh, guys, send this clip to Joshua Jackson when he proposes to me.

I don't want a real diamond.

I want moissonite

and I don't want an expensive ring.

I want like lab-grown moissonite, not a real diamond.

The stuff they froze on solo in?

Yes.

And I want sapphires and I want the band to be gold.

Gold ring, some sort of sapphire, some sort of diamond replacement.

And if I lose the ring, it's not a big deal because it wasn't expensive.

It's something vintage inspired.

And that's it.

No, horrible.

Whoa.

So you do care.

Okay.

No, it would hurt.

That would hurt so bad.

I care about the ring part of it.

Okay.

But I also, I don't want it to be too sticky up.

So when it gets put on a sweater, it doesn't get stuck.

Oh, oh, like you don't want a big rock that you can take to the gals and have everyone go, oh my god.

Oh my god.

No, I don't want that.

But also,

I don't even know if I want to get married.

I don't know anything.

Because, you know, again, someone said, I love you, and you said, where are the cameras or whatever?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like, what?

Aaron?

Are you

puke?

Do not even worry about it.

Okay.

You have plenty of time.

Nah, not plenty of time.

What do you have?

You have.

I think JPC is stressed.

You have moments.

JPC wants me to have a baby, and he's stressed that I'm running out of time.

Is that it?

Oh,

JPC, they're banning vibrators in Texas.

I don't know.

I don't know about

ride a cowboy.

JPC.

JPC, should we?

Aaron, it looks like someone has joined the live stream.

Should we have them turn on their video and say what they want to say?

Oh, my God.

Is it Joshua Jackson?

Oh, my God.

Is he proposing?

Casey.

Oh, my God.

Shoot your shot.

Casey, do you Joshua Jackson impression?

Casey sounds like that would be shocking.

Yeah, Casey Pacey.

Pacey.

And Pacey was Joshua Jackson's character.

Yes.

Pacey Pacific.

Was it Pace Picante that was like the salsa where it's like, if you didn't eat it, they kill you or something?

Was that Pace Picante?

Pace Picante was the salsa where they did the commercial where the cowboys said, New York City.

Yeah.

Let's go there and get a vibrator.

Huh?

Or cowboys, but can't get them in Texas.

Yeah, it's all fine.

Everything's fine.

How are you guys?

Yeah, I think it's great.

Yeah, it's great.

I think it's good.

Why were you guys thinking about proposing to me?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

no, no, Aaron, you have Hunt's energy, not Heinz energy.

Does that make sense?

I don't know what that means.

Doesn't matter, Call of Lady of Hunts.

Um, Aaron, what if on this upcoming tour, every single show one of us proposes to you?

Okay, I love it.

I'm gonna say no every time, but I love the attention.

Yeah, well, yeah, yeah,

gosh, maybe it's all right,

these are from, and you're not gonna believe it, Casey, but with a K.

Oh, okay,

still with a C, though?

though?

No.

Oh, yes.

With an S.

With an S.

Okay.

Casey with an A.

S-E-Y.

Interesting.

Not the way I would do it.

All right.

Well, that doesn't matter.

I'm listening through the back catalog.

That doesn't matter.

Casey.

I'm listening through the back catalog and was inspired by Anthony Birch's Pop Chain Riddles from episode 198.

You have to link pop culture works.

They're all movies, TV shows, video games, and books by using a shared word syllable

or a form of that word.

For example,

blade to cool runnings is

blade,

blade runner, cool runnings.

Got it.

Okay, so the word doesn't have to match up.

It has to be like a version of that.

It could be a different tense of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sometimes it will match up.

Sometimes they won't.

All right.

Children of men to black widow.

Okay.

Children of men, men in black.

Men in black.

Nice.

You want me to put my hands on my head like this?

Right.

Yes.

And also,

this isn't always just one thing in between.

It can be multiple things in between.

Oh, just as a headshot.

Jesus Christ.

Will you tell us how many or no?

Unless if you, I think you can probably do it without me telling.

And if you're stuck, I'll tell you how many.

Okay.

The fly to the ring.

So are we doing fly to the or fly to ring?

How does the fly to the ring?

The fly to the ring.

But does that answer my question?

Are we doing

the fly?

Fly means you got it.

The fly

blast.

It just has to be a similar word.

So I guess it could be the, but

I doubt it's not in this instance.

Only a handful of movies fit that.

The fly.

There's a movie called The Ringer,

but that wouldn't be The Ring.

It could also, remember, it can be a different version of the word finger.

It could be like Flight.

What's the George Coleman?

Oh, that's up in the air.

Flight.

Flight.

No, I don't want to say that movie.

Fly.

Flight of the Bumblebees.

Is that a song?

Fly.

How many?

Are we looking for one, Aaron, or are we looking for multiple?

You're looking for two.

There's two things in between.

The fly and the ring.

Is the word flight, Aaron?

It's not flight, but it's a different version of the word fly.

Flew.

One flew over the cuckoo's nest.

It's multiple of them.

Flying.

Nope.

Multiple of them.

Flights.

Flies.

Flights.

Flies.

Lord of the Flies.

Yep.

Lord of the Rings.

The ring.

Yes.

You got it.

The Last of Us.

Wait, wait.

What?

Can you give it...

It was the fly?

The fly.

Lord of the Flies.

Lord of the Flies.

Lord of the Rings.

The ring.

The ring.

Okay.

That was a tough one for sure.

Yeah.

It was a tough one, but also I feel like

I don't know that the spirit of the game is just like, this feels like too much free association.

This doesn't feel like a puzzle.

It feels like a.

It has to either start with fly.

Complain, just play.

Complain.

All you do is complain.

The last of us to seven samurai.

The last of us to seven samurai.

The last of us, the last samurai, seven samurai.

Yeah.

Okay.

Adult's having an easy time.

I wouldn't say that.

I don't think about the easy ones.

Girl interrupted to Dragon Ball Z.

Girl interrupted Girl Balls.

Girls.

Girl Balls.

I love that movie.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Yep.

Ooh.

Dragon Ball Z.

Wait.

You got it.

Oh, Monster's Ball.

Dragon.

Okay.

You got it.

It's just three.

Girl Interrupted, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Dragon Ball Z.

So you're taking Dragon, I see, I see.

Dragon.

Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Crazy Rich Asians to Love Action.

I don't necessarily know that this game actually works, but it does.

Crazy Rich Asians.

I don't think so.

I think you just don't like it.

Crazy Rich Asians.

That's a difference.

Crazy in Love, Love Actually.

That works, but they're thinking of a different movie.

Oh, beautiful.

It's one movie?

Yeah, the Super El Ryan Gosling one.

Yeah, it's that one.

Crazy.

Crazy Stupid Love.

Yeah.

Crazy Stupid Love.

Thank you.

Night at the Museum to The Hunt for Red October.

And this one's four.

And remember, it can be anything from media.

Night at the Museum to Hunt for Red October.

Yep.

Night at the Museum.

This is going to be very hard.

Night at the Museum.

Night of the Living Dead.

Yes.

Red Dead Redemption.

Yes.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, we're switching to video games.

Yes.

Yeah, I said it to any media.

I read that at the beginning.

Okay, Red Dead Redemption.

The mark of a good game is that we can just go from movies to video games.

There's four things that we played.

I like this game.

um

so did we get it yeah the hunt for red october at the end king kong to the witcher

king kong to the witcher king kong and this has two connective things donkey kong coal island no uh king kong king richard nope king

uh the king and i

king kong king kong

I love this one.

This is my favorite one so far.

King of the Hill.

Nope.

What was the end one?

The Witcher, the Witcher.

The Witcher.

So it's something with Witch in it.

It's the one right before it.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Can I work backwards?

Yep.

You work backwards.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

The second to last.

Yeah.

That's the one that connects to The Witcher.

And then probably Lion.

Richard, the Lion-hearted King, King Lion, Lion.

Lion King.

Yes.

King Kong, the Lion King, the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and the Witcher.

Wow.

King Richard was the Lion King, right?

Huh?

No, the Lion King.

Was this King Richard the Lionhearted or something?

Richard the Lion Hearted.

Yeah.

I think you can definitely get this one.

George of the Jungle to the Book Thief.

George of the Jungle, Jungle Cruise.

Nope.

Tom Cruise.

It's only one connective thing.

George of the Jungle to what?

The Book Thief.

The very sad.

Very sad.

Oh.

The Book Thief.

Book of Eli.

George Eli.

The book thief.

So I either want book or thief.

No.

And I'm

book.

This one's going to the JPC.

But also, but then there's something from George of the Jungle that's in connecting with book.

There's a word in the title.

The jungle book?

Yeah, so it's George of the Jungle, the Jungle Book, the Book Thief.

The book thief.

Yeah.

Okay.

The Santa Claus to Superman.

This one's great too.

Santa Claus.

This has two connectives.

The Santa Diaries.

Santa Claus.

Red One, which is a movie about Santa.

This might be helpful to work backwards.

It might always be helpful to work backwards.

What was the end one?

Superman.

Superman to

Super Mario Brothers.

Super something.

Super something?

Super bad.

Super bad.

Super bad.

And now.

I'm trying to get back to the Santa Claus.

Bad and

Santa.

Yeah.

Billy Bad Thornton.

Billy Bad Thornton.

Billy Bad Thornton.

Billy Bass Thornton.

I do want to see a scene.

Oh, I do.

All right.

So it's a thing where,

you know, how in the Santa Claus, Tim Allen's slowly turning into Santa?

GPC, that's happening to you and your neighbor's going through the same thing, but he's slowly turning into Superman and you're thinking he's getting the better deal.

So I'm turning into Santa, but my neighbor's turning into Superman.

Superman, yeah, slowly.

Yeah.

Oh, same with me.

Like, I feel like my body is changing,

right?

Aren't you feeling like you're getting more muscles and like better posture?

No.

What?

Look at me.

Look at me.

I feel awful.

Like, my back

fucking hurts.

I'm like, oh, weird.

My hair's going white.

Like, your hair seems to be getting, like, darker and slicked back, kind of.

Slicked back with a little, like, curl to it.

Yeah.

And you can fly, too, right?

I mean, yeah, if I'm

in a specific car with a specific propulsion system, I mean, like...

A plane?

No, it's more like a bunch of beer from the forest.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

There's like a...

What is this?

Growing out of the back of my neck?

It's like a...

Is this like cloth?

It's like a red long piece of cloth?

What is this?

Whoa!

Oh!

Something's going out of my.

It's also red cloth, but it's like not big.

It's like a big bag.

God, this is a big sack.

Ooh, that might be a goiter.

That might be a goiter.

Can I ask you a question?

Like, just between you and me, how'd you kill him?

Because I know how I killed my guy.

Total accident.

Anybody?

How'd you kill yours?

Puts on glasses.

Oh, hi.

I don't know if we've met.

Dude.

Takes off glasses.

It's me.

Yeah, yeah.

We're in mid-conversation with each other i'm wondering i want to know do you have did he get cripped tonight okay here's what happened i was in my car right um and i accidentally drove into a um i was mudding you know like how kids go mudding you know driving through a cornfield my car flipped i was trapped i screamed for help Guy pulls me out of my car, right as he pulls me out and I'm safe.

Meteor straight through his chest out of nowhere.

So I didn't kill him.

Damn it.

That's how mine happened.

I'm mudding.

I get out of the car.

I'm stuck.

I'm screaming for help.

I look up to the sky.

Meteor smashes through this dude as he's flying across the sky.

Did you put your hand through the hole?

Did you put your hand through the hole?

Yeah, I put my hand.

Dude, you put your hand through the hole as well.

That's when it started.

That was motherfuckers.

God damn it.

What night did you go mudding?

This was last Tuesday.

I went on a Thursday.

Fuck my life.

Yeah.

I was going to go on Tuesday, but I had diarrhea.

Yeah.

Now I've got diarrhea all the time.

I've seen.

What a way to end this.

Lord, not Santa Claus.

I would

have diarrhea all the time.

If DC put out a comic, you know how they have like Batman and Elmer Fudd?

If they did a comic that was Superman and Santa teaming up, I'd buy it.

Yeah, that's a fun team-up.

Santa's like jaded.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like smoking a cigar the whole time and eating like milk and cookies.

Yeah.

Are you guys going to see, are you guys going to see the Superman movie?

Is that something you would go see in theaters?

I'm fucking tired.

I don't care who directed it.

I have so much superhero fatigue.

I can't do another one.

I'm sorry.

I'll see it in 40X with you, JPC, if it comes to 40X.

But otherwise, I'll probably wait till

Superman is

got to be the one hero that.

Like, I would see it if it was a Batman movie.

I like Batman.

I think people have enough takes on Batman, but Superman is just so uninteresting to me as a character.

Yeah.

I do think this one is maybe, it's either based on a James James Robinson run or a Grant Morrison run, I believe.

Grant Morrison is great.

Anything Grant Morrison touches is pretty great.

There was, well, what was the one?

Mark Millar maybe did one that was called Red Sun, which was what if instead of falling in Kansas, Superman fell in Russia.

And I thought that was interesting.

Yeah, I guess so, but I think that even just the idea, the character of Superman to me is just like, eh.

Snooze.

Yeah, he's a real snooze

for me.

A couple more of these.

Goodfellas to Coyote Ugly, which would be a very funny double feature if anyone is looking for something to do yeah that is uh good fellas to coyote ugly the good the bad and the ugly yeah see nice very nice

see

the thing see meme of that content yeah i'm saying that you get it you like the game she's getting all rigged

yes you do the thing to you

uh the thing that that thing you do

That works too, but that's not the one that they're doing.

But that you technically get points.

No.

You do the right thing, dude.

The thing to you.

The thing.

It's a rom-com.

Do the right thing.

Do the thing.

That thing.

10 Things I Hate About You.

Yes.

Ooh, nice one.

Fallout to Wedding Crashers.

And this has three in between.

Holy shit.

A little harder.

Wedding Singer?

Is that before Wedding Crasher?

Wedding Crash.

Wedding Crashers.

No.

Oh, Crash.

The.

Yeah, you can work backwards.

It's going to be.

No, it's going to be Wedding.

Yeah.

Wedding.

Wedding.

The Wings.

Fuck.

What's the first one, Aaron?

Fallout.

Fallout.

Ten Weddings and a Funeral.

What's that movie?

Three Weddings and a Funeral?

Not that one.

There's another one that it's a rom-com.

It's a great rom-com.

Julie Roberts.

That has the word wedding in it.

My best friend's wedding.

Nope.

My that one's terrifying.

My.

That's terrifying.

It's my something.

My.

My wedding with Andre.

My.

My wedding with Andre.

My wedding with Andre rules.

My.

And not my best friend's wedding?

Nope.

But it's a my movie with wedding?

Mm-hmm.

Muriel's.

My Muriel's wedding.

No, there's descriptions of what kind of wedding it is.

My wedding, my wedding.

This was sort of a very

an indie darling that really.

My Big Fat Greek wedding.

Yes.

Azorba the Greek.

Something Greek.

Get him to the Greek.

Yep.

Get out.

Yes.

Fallout.

Fallout.

Nice.

Get out.

Get him to the Greek, my big fat Greek wedding.

Okay.

Wow.

I love the Greek.

Have you guys been to the Greek in Los Angeles before?

No.

It's a great outdoor venue.

It's not as big as the Hollywood Bowl.

But I did have to get Russell Brand there.

Oh, yeah.

Really quickly one time.

Yeah.

He was doing this thing where he was like telling the truth about vaccines.

And so I had to get him like as fast as possible.

Couldn't be nicer.

Couldn't be nicer.

Oh, my God.

Russell Brand, the nicest guy you'll ever be.

Nicest guy.

We're going to be at the Hollywood Bowl seeing.

Oh, I thought you met Harry Murder.

We're going to do a show at the Hollywood Bowl.

Oh, I wish.

No, I actually don't.

That would be terrifying.

We're going to see Cynthia Rivo and I want to say Adam Lambert.

I think we are.

And Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Superstar.

Goldfinger to Shutter Island.

Goldfinger to Shutter Island.

I'm going to say Island is going to be the word.

Unless it's shut.

Eyes wide shut.

Eyes wide shut.

Yeah, eyes wide shut.

Put your finger in my eyes.

Golden eyes wide shut.

Golden eye.

Golden eye.

Yeah, golden fingers.

Golden eye, eyes wide shut.

Yeah.

Yeah, nice, guys.

Last one.

Bond?

Okay.

Miscongeniality to eternals.

Now, are you saying miscongeniality to?

No.

Miscongeniality to

eternals.

Okay, now are you saying miscongeniality?

Oh, my God.

Eternal

sunshine of a spotless mind.

Spotless mind.

That comes before eternals.

And then there's one more between

miscongeniality and eternal sunshine.

Eternal sunshine.

A little missed sunshine.

Yes, you got it.

Thank you, Casey, for those.

I loved them.

And Other Casey, can we have a voicemail theme at a voicemail, please?

Why isn't that Casey?

Other Casey at our Casey's.

Adeline, Aaron, and JPC

are waiting for voicemails to listen.

To after they finish riddles and puzzies, before they do plugs at the end.

So if you got a question you want to ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, a one in a five little one.

Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, and he just crashed into my house.

That was from Coleman.

Coleman, thank you so much for submitting that.

As always, you can submit a voicemail theme 30 seconds or less as a WAV file.

hrrpodcast at gmail.com.

I guess let's hear a fucking voicemail, right?

Hey, Clue Crew.

I am wondering what y'all's opinions are on olives.

My best friend hates them.

Partner loves them.

I think they're disgusting.

Seems to be a pretty divisive topic.

Thanks.

Well,

there's an old saying that people who are meant to be together, one of them loves olives and one of them hates olives.

So it sounds like you're with your soulmate.

Is that a thing?

Yeah.

What is that thing?

I've never heard that thing.

Yeah.

I will say kalamata olives.

Meh.

Green olives?

Fuck yes.

Green olives on pizza?

Fuck hell.

Fucking yes.

Yes.

I do not like olives on pizza, but I hated olives growing up.

And then,

and I'd say in the last two years, I've grown to love olives.

And now my drink of choice is like a very dirty martini.

Olive juice?

Oh.

Olive juice with a splash of vodka.

Can I just go to cold pressed olive juice?

Yeah, I think green olives are

just nature's candy.

Unbelievably good.

I think calamata or other types of olives are

like black olives.

I think are disgusting.

Like a dip with black olives and gross.

I love all olives.

I love black.

I love green.

I love black olives on pizza.

My go-to pizza is black olive and green pepper.

But green olives are great.

I love stuffed olives.

Like you get the olives with the

green olives with the fat cheese.

Yeah, I mean,

and

what I love, and this is something I don't own, but I kind of, I don't need, but I would like to own.

I could very easily own.

I don't want to make it seem like it's a big purchase.

But you know those like long, skinny, tiny forks that you just use for olives?

Oh, yeah, or like cornichons or something?

Yeah, I'd love to have one of those.

Basically, a fork that gets through a very narrow, long jar.

I don't have one of those forks, I just use regular forks.

But man, I love a little tiny olive fork.

That's a good fork.

Um, I just pulled up my uh online purchase history.

There's a type of olive called Castle

Castelloventrano, C-A-S-T-E-L-V-E-T-R-A-N-O, Castellavano?

But those, to me, those are the king of olives.

They're green.

They're big.

They're

very, very buttery.

We buy those a lot.

Mariah loves those olives.

Those are very good olives.

How do you say it?

I always just pick a different Italian-sounding word, or I call them Castlevania olives.

I call them Castlevania olives.

I think that's easier.

When I put them on the grocery list, I put Castlevania olives.

I know which olives those are.

When I get to the grocery store, there is no confusion.

I'm not going to accidentally pick up the

Castlevania, like the

Simon LaBaria.

I'm not going to pick up the wrong olives.

It's a word that I don't know.

Well, that's how we feel about olives.

So that's sort of where we stand.

Sounds like don't bring us black olives, bring us sort of briny olives.

I know, but we all want to have some, JPC.

So, yeah, but if you're bringing us food, I'm going to throw it away.

Do not, do not, yeah, don't bring us food.

But don't bring us olives.

I'm just just saying.

I'm just saying.

All right.

Well, anything to plug, guys?

Yeah, I got something to plug.

I want to read a five-star review.

If you want to get a five-star review featured on the show, go and write one anywhere you write reviews.

This one's called Helped Me Pass a Test by Dallin Farrer.

I hate to admit this, but the frequent lateral thinking examples presented by the host of the Hey Red Bridal broke my brain in just the right way.

I had to take a certification test at work and I was able to successfully answer a trick question that helped me pass, and I got a raise.

I can't recommend this as a study solution for everyone, but it helped me.

So, who knows?

Give it a try.

Wow, that's awesome.

And if you want to use that raise, you can go to patreon.com/slash heydal.

Give us five or eight bucks a month to get some extra episodes in your feed, at least anything to plug.

Yes, I want to plug my upcoming

DC release.

It's a new comic book

called Super Claws.

Santa somehow gets the powers of Superman for one day.

It's all the stuff he gets up to.

It's all the sort of revenge he exacts.

I think it's pretty good.

It's pretty fun.

So check that out on your shelves this winter.

Aaron, anything to plug or promote?

Go check out our Patreon, patreon.com/slash Averdorida.

Lots of fun stuff over there.

We're having a good time.

It's a party.

So check that out.

And Jupiter, I think, right?

Yeah.

Can I say it?

I'll say it.

And I'll say it.

I said it.

Starring Aaron Keenan

and John Patrick Cohen.

Casey Tony did the editing.

Hey there, chats and cats.

If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.

It's another Chich-cha-chit-cha-cha-cha-cha box where we're answering your questions from the Discord.

You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog by going to patreon.com/slash HeyRiddle Riddle and joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month.

Plus, you get those ad-free episodes.

See you there.

That was a hit gum podcast.