#353: Rope Bowls w/ Tony Hale

This is a head gum podcast.

The doctor was the mother.

He stood on a block of ice.

Both stuff that were gold fish.

He was the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with an ice and ray.

And the horse is named for a day.

Adult GPC, look,

my garden, the riddles are coming in so nicely.

Wow, okay.

Are those quizzicals?

Yeah, they're really beautiful, aren't they?

I never knew you had such a

riddle thumb.

I know.

I mean, I don't know.

I tried.

I planted them.

But I don't know what to do.

Are they poisonous, right?

Most, yes, most riddles are poisonous.

Erin, what are you?

Oh, JBC.

You started eating that so fast.

I wanted to get to the dirt underneath.

Erin, are you watering them with answers?

Yeah.

And a good attitude.

Because, you know, we run out of riddles on the show.

There's really only like 100 riddles in the world.

Yeah, yeah.

So I thought, why not grow them?

From farm to brain.

Or is that.

That's something.

Yeah.

That's something.

that tracks um well aaron it's fantastic that you're actually growing organic riddles because one we're running out of riddles and two we actually have a very special guest today

okay exactly probably kind of the perfect person to try out some organic riddles on

yeah okay who is it tell me well aaron i don't know if you've ever seen shows like Veep or Arrested Development or if you are familiar with the Toy Story franchise.

Okay, some of my favorite things on the planet.

What's this going to be?

This is.

I don't know if you're familiar with the brand new headclub podcast that just came out today, which I don't know how you could be because it just came out today.

Extraordinarians?

Oh, yeah.

Did I get that right?

Extraordinarians?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, that's why Tony Hale is here.

Okay.

Yeah, that's where Tony Hill is here.

Oh, you know Tony.

Okay.

Oh, he's sitting at your table.

He's sitting at your kitchen table.

Yep.

Okay, perfect.

And I forgot that you two have actually already met.

So great.

So that's, yeah, so that's surprise.

Yeah.

Okay.

Never mind.

I love that Extraordinarians was the thing that you got.

That's the best.

Oh, yeah.

Tony Hale.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Tony Hale.

Tony, thank you so much for doing this.

Oh, thank you for having me.

I like to see everybody's Zoom background.

You really get a taste of the personalities.

And I will say today, we are shining through in our personality.

JPC is sort of in a horrible dark void.

Adult looks like he's in a cabin that smells like pine.

And

I look like I'm in a bunker.

Actually, it smells like a podcast bunker.

Oh, it does.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Actually, you have like a grandma's kitchen dishcloth fabric behind you.

It's funny because if I have my curtains open a little bit because I have my dog.

Oh, wait, sorry.

I meant Aaron.

Oh, yeah.

I was talking to the wrong one.

My bad.

JPC, sorry.

I got the name screwed.

You just look like you're in the black hole.

The voice.

With like subtle little white lines in it as well.

Tony, we were, first of all, welcome welcome to the Headcum family.

We're so excited to be here.

Thank you.

Is there any kind of initiation I need to know about?

Blood pass.

We've been here for seven years.

So

we know our way around the world.

This is like a white lotus scenario.

All right.

Jake and Amir make us sort of exchange our blood.

It's a whole thing.

It's nice.

I thought maybe just exchange gum or something, but blood, wow.

You can put the blood in whatever you want.

I guess if you want to pass it with gum, hey, it's weirder, but you know what?

We don't judge.

That's another thing.

Oh, that's nice.

That's the most important thing.

How's it been stepping into the podcast world?

How does it feel?

Good.

Good.

I'm doing it with my friends, Kristen Schall.

I'm sure you guys know Matt Oberg.

And it's really fun.

We interview extraordinary people doing extraordinary things that we would never do.

And one of, like, this one guy was slacklined between two hot air balloons.

And we just were kind of fascinated with that.

And another girl won the national pun competition.

Another one won the most somersaults after, like on a, on a trampoline, all this kind of stuff.

So we're just kind of fascinated.

And it's really fun.

And I don't know, I mean, like you guys, it's like you have a chance to get together with your buddies and

shoot the shit, which is really cool.

That's the secret sauce.

Yeah.

That hot air balloon thing is the craziest thing I ever did.

It really, it's one of those,

what's the famous, he climbed mountains.

It was a documentary.

I'm just blanking.

Not alone, but

Moses?

It's Moses.

Edmund Hillary.

But it was the guy that like free rock climbed.

Oh,

free soul.

Yes, yes, yes.

And that there's a part of the brain that's not there.

You know, like there's that fear section is taken out.

And I think this guy had a little bit of that.

And I was just, I was like, how do you, I can't even get on a ladder without thinking about death.

You know, and he's just, I think he even responded, oh, that's sad.

But it's fascinating yeah i guess that is sad i mean if you take it in a microglass it's like yeah for sure i mean he's just like he the rush that they get and sometimes he doesn't even use like a safety what harness yeah he's just like slot gliding between these you know mountainous areas and without any kind of safety i mean sometimes he is and then sometimes he's not and you're like what like you're just asking i don't know it's fascinating are tingling ah yeah just it's those also those people that kind of like jump off buildings you know and they just yeah it's just wild to me.

Should we try it?

Yeah.

So that means we should do it.

Yeah.

Has it, has doing

the podcast made you in any way want to do any of those things?

Like or no.

No.

Tony, like this is not going to make me love riddles even more.

Oh, you're going to hate them more for sure.

For sure.

Tony, what's your secret talent?

What's your

okay?

I think mine are just a little more sedate.

I like making rope bowls.

Excuse me.

Sorry, I've got a bit of a cold, so I apologize.

But

over the pandemic, I got into making rope bowls.

And

it's something, it's kind of like, well, it's not like pottery, but you kind of mold as you're, you sew these, this rope together and you mold it into a bowl.

And then I paint them.

And it's really meditative, much like the guy who walks on a slack line.

It's not meditative for him.

But it's really peaceful.

And that's, and I like, I like my dogs.

And, you know, I have a daughter in college because I, it's like real simple stuff.

I, I'm, I will say, I'm not like an adrenaline junkie whatsoever.

Like, I don't like roller coasters, never have.

There's nothing natural about them.

I just, that kind of stuff, I just thought they came from the earth.

Did they not grow organically?

They did.

The secret of six flags.

Yeah.

You dig deep enough and you find ancient civilizations roller coasters that were there before.

Yeah, six flags was excavated.

That's horrible.

Aaron, they're dinosaur bones that got wet, I want to say.

Yeah, and now we just slide on them.

Holly, today's the day we find all this out.

The rope bowls thing.

Yeah.

Were you familiar with the concept of rope bowls like before you started doing them, or what got you into it?

Because that feels like such a vocal.

I'm looking for a picture to show you.

And don't even wait

this year.

I want to say the rope bowl is clemson in Alabama.

Well, I will make, I have made rope bowls for

like football teams, not teams, but people that are fans of certain footballs.

Okay, so like these are these are some rope bowls I made.

Okay.

Oh my gosh, those are beautiful.

Aren't they nice?

That's incredible.

How do I buy one of these?

I will make you one.

You don't have to

when money's involved, it's like

the composition of that photo is fantastic.

That looks like I'm looking at like a West Elm catalog.

It spent me a little time to figure out that shot.

Thank you.

It's like Donahale is like, i don't really have any talents and then he shows the perfectly framed picture

that's such a covet thing though it's like sourdough bread making into rope bowl is a straight line i was on a show in uh i did the show in italy for six months and i was you know i i'm they all kind of went out i i was kind of the old guy that just liked to stay at home.

Anyways, it wasn't boring.

But I, so for cast gifts, I made all these, all these rope bowls because I had so much time.

Wow.

That's incredible.

Isn't that fun?

One last thing.

Also do some Christmas ornaments.

What the fuck?

This sucks.

I feel awful about myself.

So this is my adrenaline.

Wow.

That's great.

Well, rope bowl aside on this podcast, I guess kind of our rope bowls.

Oh, no, I'd like to keep talking about that.

Rotals back on the table.

But okay, so the rope bowls, they're,

you said they're painted, but they're still rope, right?

So you can you can't, you can't put like

cereal.

This is for like keys and wall.

This is like a catch-all versus

a basket.

Oh, yeah, good, good.

Well, also, like, I've given them before, like, on gigs and stuff.

And they're like, oh, it's like a hat.

And I'm like, it's not a hat.

I don't know why you keep saying hat.

But yeah, it's like, it's a catch-all.

You don't even have to put anything in it.

It could be just like just a decorative situation.

But you can't put liquid in it.

But don't eat cereal out of those bowls.

Now, you could if you wanted to like make it and then pour something in it to cement the inside if you wanted to.

Maybe that's my next venture.

Yeah.

Now, Tony, I'm very serious about it, I need to get my hands on all these rope bowls.

Well, let me just find out your first color.

I don't know.

Okay.

Well, our rope bowls on the show is riddles.

And we ask every guest on the show, what is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems?

I think maybe escape rooms, we've extended it out to these things.

Okay.

Let me think.

I don't know if anybody relates to this.

I'm all in, and I think it's such a fun idea.

Halfway through, I'm like,

I want to bolt.

You know, it's like

an escape room.

It's like, oh, this is so fun.

Let's go.

And then halfway through when it's, I'm just like, I don't, this is chaos.

I'm asking for more chaos in my life.

They've made this too hard.

I don't know what any of these numbers mean.

You know, and those people that really like get a kick out of it, I'm just like, this is, just give me the answer.

Just open the window, open the door.

I want to get out.

You know, and then riddles, it's some, it's fun.

Now, I, now, a little bit of a, I think if I'm doing it by myself, I don't like it.

But if there's like a, like you guys, like if it's like a team and it's like, oh, what about this?

What about this?

But then when you hit that wall and you're like, okay, why?

Why, why, why, why?

It's also that thing of like, I like puzzles, but I like colored puzzles.

I don't want like all one color where it's just maddening.

And I'm just like, why am I doing this to myself?

I want like the fun experience of like, oh, yeah, this is a bunny.

Let me find the color of the bunny.

And then that's the other piece.

You know, like, it's some fun to it.

There's more dopamine in that.

Yeah, exactly.

Thank you.

There are a lot of riddles.

We've been going for seven years somewhere on there.

Wow.

Congratulations, guys.

Thank you so much.

That's amazing.

The seven-year itch.

What the fuck?

Oh, man.

I want a divorce.

We all pack our bindles and are out of here.

Right, the reels.

That's so funny because today is

my wife and I's seven-year anniversary.

Oh,

that's crazy.

Was this podcast like discovered on your honeymoon?

Yeah.

Kind of.

It's funny.

We like, there were so many things in my life that started around the same time.

Like, I started dating my wife.

I got a dog, and this podcast started all in the same year.

So it's so easy to remember dog seven years old.

Wife, seven years old.

Podcast, married.

wife seven years old

no it's easy i can't forget this stuff what are you guys talking about well we've been going for about seven years and a lot of the answers to riddles

when you hear it you go like ah like it's it is um it's like obviously yeah but it's a lot of lateral thinking problems are like it's usually shadow egg clouds stuff like that and and a lot of them there's information missing so when you hear the answer you're like oh i wasn't thinking along those those lines like i'm missing a huge chunk of help here so just know that um riddles might be frustrating has it has it helped you in your new york times games app doing this podcast we did for many years before connections came out there's a british game show called only connect that has very similar concepts to it and people have been submitting those types of like puzzles for years.

So by the time connections came out, I was like, oh, okay.

This is like elementary school.

Wait, so one more question.

How has this podcast affected your everyday lives like in problem solving?

And what tools have you learned here that is just

JP's just like

it's got to be a pass.

People call our show a fever dream is sort of the feedback that we get, like a chaotic fever dream.

I will say when I see a riddle in real life, not like bridge trolls, but like if someone tells one, I'm more likely to get it now.

Cause I'm not sure.

So what is that?

What's that first two, like if you said, what are the first two things you do when you hear that riddle that you would suggest to somebody else?

It's like the same as like jeopardy questions.

You like look at the structure of the question.

You're like, oh, how are they trying to trick me?

Like, what are they trying to get at?

Yeah, Connection does that too on New York Times.

Yeah, yeah.

I will say I went last year to London and there's a, I guess, a popular game show there called Crystal Maze.

And they have like a crystal maze experience and it's all these different challenges and there's like dexterity and skill games and all this stuff.

And

one of the rooms was all riddles.

And I was like, oh my God.

And every riddle in the room was one we'd done on the show.

Oh, wow.

So

you looked like a genius.

We were with a group of like people who worked together and this is like a team building exercise.

So these like eight people who were in our group are like, this guy is like mensa level brilliant.

And I'm like snake, grat, like just rattling off stuff.

And they're like, this is a beautiful mind.

And afterwards, they're like, how'd you do that?

And I go, this is going to sound fake, but I do a riddle podcast.

I will say my experience with it is I read a lot.

And a lot of times, and I read a lot of fantasy or sci-fi.

It's like

it's wonderful.

But

when I read fantasy or sci-fi, a lot of times there will be like, for whatever reason, like riddles will come up in the context of this novel.

And I almost always know it because like there are no new riddles.

So, like, the author is just like changing some words and, you know, borrowing an old riddle as a concept.

But I'm all, it makes me feel so much smarter than the characters who are like, okay, we have to figure out what this riddle is.

And I was like, nah, man, I got it.

I got it.

I did this show called The Mysterious Benedict Society, and there was a lot of riddles in that.

And it was,

I mean, it really,

the kids were like generated by it.

It was like, oh, rather than kind of paralyzed.

And I think like I can get

paralyzed.

I can be like, rather than being like, oh, this is cool.

Let's see what this is.

It's also just funny that some days you wake up and you literally can't do them.

And some days you wake up and they all seem easy.

It truly just is like

however much water you drank that day depends on if these riddles are going to come natural or not.

Adel, I don't want to step on your toes, but if we want to do some OnlyConnect riddles, I do have a few OnlyConnect that might, we could kind of use as warm-ups to get us in.

Let's do it.

You want to do it?

Yeah.

Okay.

So guys, I'm generated.

I'm not paralyzed.

This is a new one for me.

So again, I'm going to give you four words, or it's not always a word, but it's like a word or a short phrase or whatever.

And then you have to tell me

what the connection between all four of those things is.

Okay, great.

Okay.

So here's your first one.

Snake,

Macy Black.

That's one.

Snake is one and Macy Black is one.

The stripes,

red Floyd.

Now, these are all, it should be pink Floyd.

It should be white stripes.

It should be Macy gray

and White Snake.

Uh-huh.

These are all bands with the color scheme slightly askew.

It is the color scheme slightly askew, and you are so correct with all that, Adol, but it's it's it's the answer is slightly different than that.

Oh, they all need white added to them, yes, god damn it because red was like good.

We normally don't get them that that fast.

That was crazy, Adel.

And Tony, I guess you crush it in the comedy and acting game and the root bowl game and the dog game and the

but I,

can solve a riddle.

Damn, that was impressive.

That was so fast.

Guy's been doing it for seven years.

He's like cocky about it.

I do want to see a scene.

Aaron, Tony, and JPC, the three of you are starting a band.

And first things first, you're trying to come up with a name.

Okay.

No, I think that one's already taken.

Let me, hold on.

The Beatles?

You're sure?

I'll try to test it because I just gave it.

No, I mean, I think that's already...

Okay, this is just brainstorming.

Let's not get so bogged down on one name.

Let's just try to generate

other band names.

Okay, great.

Okay.

Beach Boys, Rolling Stones.

What if it's

like churches?

You know how churches nowadays are just one word, like haven, rock.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I'm writing these down, but maybe we're missing like the forest for the trees.

Like,

we're trying to do like new, unique band names.

Okay.

Maybe the first letter of each of our names?

R-E-M.

There you go.

That worked, right?

That's something.

By the way, it didn't just work.

It did work for several decades.

Yeah, that's a band.

Yeah.

That's already a band name.

I keep saying that.

T-H-J.

That's too close to T-H-C.

Yeah.

Well, is it?

But actually,

I just said H, but that's the podcast name.

I meant to say.

Let's see.

Let's see.

Let's see.

Let's see.

T-E-J.

What about Maroon 5?

No.

By the way, Jet.

Jet, guys.

Okay.

JPC.

Yeah, we could do Jet.

Jet, and I, yes, that is a band name.

So it is already a band name.

And a magazine.

See.

All right, here's your next one.

Filling a line in any direction.

So that's your first one.

Filling a line in any direction, clearing four lines at once.

Having all five dice be the same, and having one card left.

Whoa.

It's like when you say the name of the game: Yahtzee, Poker, Blackjack.

Well, connector.

Aaron, you're correct, but do you know what those, what the four games are?

No.

I'm still trying to understand the question.

Filling a line in any direction.

Bingo.

Bingo.

Clearing four lines at once.

Tetris.

Tetris.

Oh.

Okay.

Having all five.

Sorry, Tony, did you have a note for me?

I thought

I thought it was XL.

It's tic-tac-toe.

Oh, yeah, tic-tac-toe.

Oh, that works.

It doesn't work.

That's right.

Nope.

Having all five dice be the same.

Yahtzee.

That's Yahtzee.

And then having one card left.

Uno.

That's how I got that one.

But, Tony, I didn't know the first three made no sense to me.

And that was the first time.

First of all, I just think it's so sweet that you guys are really trying to not make me feel so bad.

Because I hear the question, and I'm still processing the first line of what you're asking.

All right, I'm going to go slower.

Okay.

So the first one.

I don't know if that's going to help.

It'll help me.

Copper wire.

Okay.

Second one, silver paste.

Okay.

Third one, Leonard Bernstein.

Oh, God.

Fourth one, a train manager.

Whoa.

Okay, copper wire, silver paste.

Is everybody else envisioning these, or is it just thinking of the...

Is everybody picturing it?

Oh, I'm panicking.

I'm doing yackety sacks in my head.

I think I might know, but I want to give, let's give people.

I'm mostly refraining from yelling.

These are all

characters from Metal Gear Solid, I guess.

Right now, I'm doing the Scooby-Doo thing where they're all chasing each other through hallways.

That was the last one.

Leonard Bernstein.

A train manager.

Leonard Bernstein, a train manager.

Those two are the most helpful.

I think the last two are the most helpful.

Okay.

All conductors?

Yep.

Wait.

At all.

No, that was funny.

What's the musical?

What's the musical with the train?

Train, train, train with the trolley.

Trolley.

Is that Leonard Bernstein?

These are conductors, electrical conductors.

Bernstein is like orchestral conductors

and train conductors.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, Bradley Cooper played Leonard Bernstein?

Yeah, in that movie.

Okay.

Maestro.

Maestro.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Here's the answer.

The answer was Bradley Cooper.

Your next one is bull whip.

Wait, what was the answer to that one?

Oh, conductors.

They were all different types of conductors.

Copper wire is a conductor.

Train manager is a extractor.

Silver pants.

Guys, I need that rope bull.

Please.

Let's ease up on Tony.

You still haven't told me your favorite color.

Green.

Which type of green, please?

Hey, Tony, excuse me.

Adel?

What's going on?

That felt like, I know you.

That felt like a panic panic call out.

It is green.

It is green.

Honestly, Kermit green is probably my favorite color.

Oh, okay.

So

a shamrock.

Yes, a Kelly green.

Yes, Kelly Green.

Beautiful.

All right.

Let me just

make that.

Addle has always just seen K green, and it's like Kermit green.

Yes, Kermit Green.

That's got to be Kermit Green.

Because Kelly Green is John Travolta's wife, right?

Yes.

Tony, can I ask you a question?

I was actually sort of a dreamer.

Anything to distract from these riddles?

Do you have a favorite Muppet?

Oh, damn.

I love this question so much.

I collected Muppets when I was a kid, and Beaker was my favorite.

Whoa.

And actually, side note, I did this cartoon called Archibald's Next Big Thing that came from a children's book I did years and years ago.

One of the best jobs I've ever done.

And I was attracted to Archibald because he looked like Beaker.

And my favorite color is yellow.

And so Archibald was yellow.

So he was like a yellow Beaker.

Oh my God.

And I also really loved

Fozzie.

Of course.

And

Scooter.

Oh,

Scooter's underrated.

Classic.

Scooter is underrated.

I think I'm a Sweetham's guy, but

Beaker's probably in my top five.

Why am I blanking on Sweetham's?

Sweetham's big guy.

He's like a full size.

He's like a guy in a huge costume.

Hey, wait for me.

Gosh, I don't remember him at all.

He's kind kind of like a, he's kind of like.

Was he in the 80s or was he a later Muppet?

Early Muppet.

He was like in the Muppet movie.

He's like the size of a human and he's always running.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I also like the shrimp guy.

Who's the shrimp guy?

Oh, Pepe, the prime.

Pepe, the prime.

Oh, go change, okay.

Yeah, he's the best.

And the chefs, no one can match the chef.

Oh,

we love the sweetest chef on the show.

We do.

We're big sweeter chef fans.

I think the Muppets need a real comeback.

I think they do too.

I would love to see you.

Have you ever acted with a Muppet?

I want you just to stop at acting.

Have you ever acted before?

We get real on this show.

What are you doing up there, Tony?

Exactly.

Have you been on Sesame Street?

Rope bowls in my bunker.

I have never been on Sesame Street, but I on a Sesame Street.

I've never been on Sesame Street, but I've been on the show.

Every city has one.

Yeah.

I think you would do very well acting with.

Oh, I would love it.

I'd love to.

I mean, doing my friend did a, Jack McBray did a kid show for a little bit, and I guessed it on his show.

And it's just so simple and sweet, and I don't know, it's just so fun.

Well, I want you to have a scene with Beaker before you die.

Okay, I do want to see you two solve mysteries, maybe?

I do want to see a scene.

Um, Tony, would you would you like to play Beaker?

Would you like to talk?

Would you like to act with Beaker?

Uh,

I'll play, he doesn't say much, so I'll be Beaker.

Uh, so uh, Tony, you're gonna be your version of Beaker.

So, this is sort of like you were cast as Beaker, so this is Tony.

Which is pretty much Buster Ballist.

Wait a minute.

It's alright.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

So, so you're Beaker.

And Aaron,

your favorite Muppet is Miss Piggy?

I'd say my favorite Muppet is Gonzo, but I'll play whomever.

Oh, God.

I want you to play Gonzo.

What a nose.

What a nose.

What a nose.

I actually don't think, I don't feel confident in my Gonzo impression, so I can be Miss Piggy, or I can be a human, whatever you need me to be.

Um, I would like you to be your version of Miss Piggy, and this is sort of like so.

This is like a B movie.

Um, this is like a just some college kids kind of putting together their version of the Muppets, I guess.

So, sort of an off-kilter, just left-of-center version of the Muppets with you as Miss Piggy and Tony as Beaker.

I don't know,

Beaker, we gotta bury the body.

Beaker.

Beaker force.

Grab the shovel, Beaker.

Beaker.

Slap, slap.

You look at me.

We killed him together.

Hermit's lifeless body's up there.

That's okay.

Beaker.

He was our leader.

He drew too much attention.

Oh, wait, wait.

Here comes Fuzzy.

Wake, awake, awake up.

Oh, shit.

Wake out!

Wake out!

Beaker!

Beaker, get a hold of yourself, Bigger.

Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap.

Um, okay, uh, uh,

okay, uh, ho.

All right, no, we're just gonna, we're just gonna bury the body.

Okay, this never happened.

Bury the body.

Okay, all right.

Oh,

here comes the count.

Here comes the count.

Be cool, be cool, be cool.

So sexy.

Beaker, what was that?

What was that, Beaker?

Super sexy.

Oh, Beaker.

Hey, what's going on here?

Oh, it's my friend.

Count.

Fozzie, Miss Piggy.

Oh, wow.

Oh, shit.

Don't think.

Picker, picker.

Picker.

That reminds me.

Pick up, picker, pick.

No, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Picker, picker.

Bingle?

That's fine.

The count is pretty sexy.

I actually did have this conversation recently about who the hottest Muppet is, and someone said that guy who throws the fish, and I just about died.

Oh, with the mustache.

Yeah, Lou Zealand?

Yeah, Lou Zealand.

Lou Zealand, yeah.

I don't know if I agree with that.

Oh, actually, and also the Swedish chef threw a lot of fish, didn't he?

Also,

I guess they're throwing a lot of fish in that show.

You said guy with the mustache, and I was like, Pasqually from Chuck E.

Cheese.

Oh, yes.

Oh, Chuck E.

Cheese.

Tony, I appreciate electronics.

At some point, Tony, I really appreciate that Beaker almost sounded like a, hey, bad, bad, bad, better.

So you better.

No hitter, no hitter, no hitter.

That reminds me on when I was on Veep, they called me a bitchy mime because I wasn't allowed to speak.

So

I could just stand behind Selena and just make weird noises.

My nonverbal got pretty good.

Truly

one of the best performances of all the

comes from so much pain.

I mean,

unbelievable.

And

almost true to life now.

There is something

about a show like Veep where they're like, hey, so the the whole vibe is that we're going to be like making fun of you as characters, but we're actually just going to be making fun of what you look like physically, which is the real human being

is you.

Timothy Simons got it bad.

Like he played Jonah.

They called him like,

what was it, Plato on a flagpole?

You're not even your mom's favorite Jonah, Jonah.

That's my favorite.

And there was one time, like, the sad thing is it wasn't even when it wasn't even scripted.

So we would be in a scene and like, I remember

Reid Scott Scott turned to me and he goes, hey, cow eyes.

And I was like, sorry?

Excuse me?

I was like, why isn't that in the scrap?

Just getting too lost in it.

Hey, man, I'm really sorry about cow-eyes.

What?

Easy trigger.

I feel like just in Chicago in general, like when I first came to Chicago for improv, I would.

absolutely stand out of Dan Backetall's way and Dave Fouse Crazy where I'm like, I don't want them, I don't want to be perceived by them because they're so, I can't imagine being on set with all those people and being like, everyone's a sniper and they're

targets on my head and also dan back at all the stuff that came out of his mouth the crassness and how he treated his assistant i mean it was just so fluid and also david pesque if you get a chance watch the um the blooper reel from veep i think it might have been season one or two when david pesquese is taught they're at the family dinner and he just goes off and it's just magic it's magic he's unbelievable

very fast tony

so excited to get to tell you this last time i saw you but my favorite scene in anything is Veep when Selena finds out she's going to get president, be president, and you get a nosebleed.

I get a nosebleed.

It's the funniest fucking thing.

Do you know what actually that happened to the writer?

That's how it came about.

She was laughing so hard that she got a nosebleed.

And then

they gave it to Gary.

They gave it to Gary.

They gave it to Gary.

And we were actually really sick that day, which is wild.

That's so funny.

Well, you're cracked open, and then the good comedy juice poured out.

Thank you, editing.

Tony, all this talk about behind the scenes and Veep is really actually fun and interesting, but we're going to take a break and get back to Riddles, which I think is depressing and hard and sad.

So

let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with more riddles.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, did you get it?

Did you get it on camera?

No, sorry.

I wasn't recording.

No, me neither.

Guys, come on.

I feel like, and this is not an indictment of you, but I feel like I keep doing the same skateboard trick.

I keep hitting myself in the junk, going down this rail the exact same way every time.

And I feel like you guys are just fumbling with the camera, and I'm beginning to think it's on purpose.

Adela and Aaron, make eye contact.

Wink, wink, wink.

No.

Well, of course, we did build a beautiful website on Squarespace.

Yeah, we're using Squarespace.

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And I need to pay to offset the cost of the terrible damage I'm doing to my body.

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And videos of JPC falling gracefully.

But all the videos so far are like you guys in like your face.

It's like reaction shots because you have the camera turned the wrong way.

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You know what?

I don't care.

I'm going to post whatever videos that you guys make.

I think the content is going to stand on its own.

I think I'm going to be successful.

And if you want to be successful, just head to squarespace.com slash Riddle Riddle for a free trial.

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JPC, why don't you do a flip-oll-o over that

bookcase?

Okay, I'll try it one more time.

Take hundreds.

Yeah.

Oh, it doesn't hurt anymore.

Uh-oh.

It doesn't hurt anymore.

Oh, boy.

Oh, I like it less.

JPC, you know how not too long ago Aaron was a car.

We don't really need to dwell on it.

Sometimes you're asking yourself weird things like, why didn't they teach us this in school?

I feel that way almost anytime I'm dealing with money.

Amen.

Famously, I'm very bad with money.

Famously, you're very good with money.

That's why I'm giving my kids, aka my cats, a head start on their money skills with acorns early.

Now, if I know your cats, they're going to take those acorns, put them outside your door, and then feed them to squirrels so they can watch squirrels going outside of your door.

But children, human children, they're very different.

They have different learning patterns than cats.

We're getting wildly off topic.

Erin used to be a car.

That's why she's not here.

But that's been resolved at this point.

So we don't have to worry about that.

Mostly been resolved.

Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up.

This is something that I am going to be gifting to friends, that I myself hopefully one day will be gifting to a child and again to my cats.

Start with the in-app chores tracker.

Teach your kids or cats the value of a dollar.

Then let your kids set up their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early.

And you could maybe be like, hey, let's set a goal that you save up to buy, I don't know, like a car one day.

Yes, because it is legal to buy a car.

Yes.

Even if it is or was a human at some point, because if it's now a car, it's fine.

And there's no laws against that.

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Plus, with Acorn Early's spending limits and real-time spend notifications, parents always stay in control.

I have played around with the Acorns Early app.

So it's still a little early for my child, but I really love the features.

I really love how simplified it is.

I actually think that it can make learning about money fun and engaging.

And I think that those are very important things.

It's also really important to like demystify, you know, the money.

You know, money isn't something that's like,

you know, dirty or dangerous or something.

And it's just like a tool like anything else that we use to exist in society.

And I think that Acorns Early is a great way to introduce children to that.

Absolutely.

Hey, JPZ.

Do you notice, even though Erin's not a car anymore, that sometimes when she sneezes, it sounds like vroom?

Yeah.

And sometimes when she,

not to be indelicate,

farts, it sounds like

pastors gas.

It sounds like honk, honk, kong, honk, hon, kong.

Yes.

And then I immediately want to get anyway.

Ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save, and spend?

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Aaron's not a car.

Take control of your money.

Ah, Aaron Keith, JPC, have a seat.

Welcome to dinner.

Fun.

Fun.

And this is gratis, right?

I want to say

potatoes.

Are gratis.

Yes, the potatoes are free, but the meal is exquisite and the finest.

Hey, Aaron, can I tell you a secret?

Yeah.

This is tempo.

It's all tempo.

Oh, it smells so good.

That's why it smells so good.

Hado, can I tell you how grateful I am for this?

Yes.

This season, this like back-to-school season, always has a wave of busyness, leaving very little room for me to like cook for myself and make nutritious meals.

So, like, this means so much.

Oh, Aaron, I agree.

Tempo serves up fast, feel-good, single-serving meals that are crafted to cook in just three minutes.

A minute for each of us, so you can eat well without sacrificing taste or convenience.

Wait, should the chef should the chef be saying because I can hear that?

That sounds like the chef is serving.

With new recipes each week that are made with real ingredients and nutrient-rich, they make it easy to keep up a healthy lifestyle.

Look, I know about Tempo's perfectly portioned lunches and dinners that take the guesswork out of eating well, they're fully prepared, and they can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes.

I just thought this was like a fancy French dinner and potatoes are gratin and all that stuff.

Am I out of line here?

You can make it customized to you, monsieur.

Protein-bagged, calorie-conscious, carb-conscious, and fiber-rich.

Bonjour, bonjour.

Bonjour, bonjour.

Some of my favorite meals.

Bistro-style garlic Dijon chicken with green beans and roasted tomatoes.

La la.

That sounds good, yeah.

With chef kiss.

Well, I just call it kiss, I guess, not chef kiss.

Also, ooh, beef barbacoa rice bowl with poblano cream sauce and corn.

My favorite woman, barbara coa.

It's weird to say corn in a French accent.

Kyron.

Also, don't say my favorite woman, Erin.

My favorite woman.

Look, all I know is that for a limited time, Tempo is offering my listener 60% off your first box.

So go to tempo meals.com/slash riddle.

That's tempo meals.com/slash riddle for 60% off your first box.

Tempo meals.com/slash riddle, R-I D-D-L-E, rules and restrictions may apply.

Bonjou, bonjou,

bonjou, a bonjou.

I don't know, you say, say it to him now, and goodbye, bonjou, bonjour, and my favorite woman is no, in the ad.

We're back and we're going to be doing some.

Let's just, let's go into the, we had an appetizer.

We had the Moz sticks.

Let's get into a full entree.

Did you say Moz sticks like mozzarella sticks?

Yeah.

That's my childhood, man.

That's Applebee's.

I love mozzarella sticks.

That should be an ad for Applebee's.

That's my childhood.

They should use that.

Instead of, yeah.

What is Applebee's was eating?

Oh, yeah.

I thought you were were about to say, what is Applebee's?

Like, you've never heard of it.

Well, this would have ended that podcast.

You logged out.

Tony, I will say,

where are you from in the country?

Tallahassee, Florida.

Jealous?

Here's the thing.

Tony, this works perfectly because

I'll tell this story very quickly.

Please.

I went to Florida to visit a friend.

His brother came to pick me up from the airport.

I've never met his brother before.

So I get in the car, but his brother is one of the funniest people of all time, this guy named Joey Roman.

Well, I'll be the judge of that.

Thank you so much.

He'll come on later.

So his brother picks me up at the airport.

Never met this guy before.

We get in the car.

He's like, How's your flight?

I'm like, good.

He's like, yeah, Joey's excited to see you.

I'm like, I'm excited to see Joey.

He's like, I'm Justin.

I'm like, I'm Addle.

So nice to meet you.

He's like, I heard about, I heard a lot about you.

Yeah, yeah.

And then at some point, we're kind of sitting in the car, and he goes,

Are you hungry at all?

Or do you want some Wahwah?

And I'm like, oh, this is Joey's brother.

He's got to be also funny.

So I go, yeah, I want Wawa.

Baby, firsty.

Baby, want Wawa.

Oh, no.

And his brother goes, what?

And I go, what?

And he goes, do you want Wawa?

And I go, yes, baby firstie.

Baby want Wawa.

Oh, I hate that.

And he goes, what are you doing?

I go, what are you doing?

And he goes, I'm asking if you want Wawa.

And I go, I'm saying baby firstie.

This is a nightmare who's on a first.

Because, Tony, I grew up in Illinois, never heard a Wawa in my life.

Yeah,

I don't even think we had a Wawa in Tallahassee.

This was in St.

Petersburg oh that is somewhere around Tampa Florida is its own like strange microcosm I don't know if we need to say strange I think it's

yeah you're right we shouldn't put that stigma on Florida it's a beautiful swamp yeah did you do you do you have whataburger oh I've had it that's in Texas actually right yeah yeah that's a real southern thing too but I do think that a lot of fast food breakfast it would not be surprising me if there was whataburgers in Florida because people move to Florida from the places they're from and then they bring with them their fast food chain and they say, like, this now exists in Florida.

Yeah.

It's a great place.

Florida is a great place.

It gets a bad rap.

My wife is from Miami and she'll tell people she's from Florida.

And I'm like, you got to stop telling people you're from Florida because you're not.

Like you're from Miami, which is like way different than Florida.

Yeah.

Well, I will say that is,

if I looked at, I think Miami is more Florida and like Tallahassee is more Georgian because you're running out of pen handle.

Yeah, that makes sense.

And kind of Miami and Boca, Fort Leader, those do feel Florida, whereas Tallahassee, kind of those on the north, they kind of feel a little more Alabama, Georgia.

And Tony, you said you were in Italy recently for six months.

What's what would you say is the number one difference between Florida and Italy?

In Italy.

Italy, oh man, the people just in Italy, they're so wonderful, but they just sound mad.

There's a lot of like,

you're just like, are you mad?

I told this story on a talk show once, but I remember the costume guy who was the wardrobe designer, I was had this, it took place

during the Black Plague.

And so I had this medieval kind of look, but I had this belt and I said, can you tighten this belt?

And he goes, no, you have an odd shape.

And I said, I'm sorry.

And he goes, wow, you do.

It's cow-eyes all over again.

Cow-eyes.

But they're just, and like when I was like in hair and makeup, they're, you know, they're speaking Italian, but it's just this like,

and, but they're just like saying, would you have a breakfast?

Like it's not, you know, it's not, but it sounds a little angry.

That's so funny.

A very combative.

It's one of the romance languages, languages, I believe, but it sounds very combative.

That didn't sound very romantic to me.

Different people have different conceptions of romance.

That sounds very romantic to me.

That's very true.

So you and your wife have a very aggressive life.

Yeah, exactly.

Dave Fasquezi, I think, lives in Italy six months out out of the year.

Six months out of the year.

Oh, yeah.

He also shot DaVinci Code, wasn't he in DaVinci Code?

Yes, yes, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Or Angels and Demons, I think.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go.

So this is going to be a main full-on riddle.

Okay.

What if the riddle is just my life?

What if I'm being punked?

And it's like, Tony Hale is the riddle.

And it's just like, this is my life where all my bullies are coming in and it's just explaining everything.

It's like, oh, but you figured it out.

That makes sense that Sean did that.

We solved it.

It could be a nice direction for the show.

I mean, we've been doing it for seven years.

We've got to find some fertile ground somewhere.

Yeah.

I want to ask about Sean.

What did he do?

What did he do?

Because that's got to be.

He didn't hesitate.

That's a real name.

That's a real name.

I don't pray his last name.

I can only assume Connery.

So let's see here.

The main riddle is:

what ring is square?

What ring is square?

Gosh, I immediately think of Lord of the Rings, but that's

oh, oh, I think I know it.

Yes,

I might know it too.

Oh,

oh, well, then I think about an alarm system.

Wow, okay, yeah.

That or a ring light, or like a ring camera, what is it called?

Well, a ring light is called a ring light, and a ring camera is called a ring camera.

Then I was thinking of a ring camera.

Okay, got it.

Could it be a boxing ring?

I was just a boxing.

That makes sense.

Golly, you guys are damn.

You gotta go lateral with it.

A scene.

Okay.

JPC, you're a boxer in a movie, and Tony, you're like his, what's the guy who like picks him up?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

His microphone.

His coach?

His coach before the big fight.

Okay.

All right, you got this, man.

Come on.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, you got beat up bad, dude.

You got beat up bad, but this time.

Who was that guy?

That's your opponent, man that's the that's the reason you're here that's the reason we're about to mend two you know two million dollars and you're about to screw us up was he supposed to hit me while i was just like peeing before the match what the living hell man no he's supposed to he's supposed to hit you in the square ring is what he's supposed to do well that's what i thought was going to happen tonight but he beat the shit out of me i know because all you kept was asking was why is this called a ring and it's a square you got to focus on the fight man

but i didn't know that we were in the middle of the fight i thought we were just two guys hanging out does he really hurt you like in real life

We had this entire conversation.

You know that big famous guy, Jake, or whatever his name is?

The Jake Ball or what's his name?

The guy that's just completely

out of his mind, you know?

Yeah.

You know, he made like $10 million on a fight.

Let me tell you what he wasn't thinking.

Yeah, he made $10 million.

You got the same publicity for this.

You've been told this a thousand times.

Jake Paul, that's his name.

Jake Paul.

You've been on Good Morning America talking about this.

I don't know how you show up today and you don't know what's going on.

Okay, I just,

my thing I think maybe is that I'm so confused when it's a fight and when it's a talk because I do remember going on Good Morning America and beating the shit out of that little guy.

Good morning, America.

We are here.

Not for you, motherfucker.

Beer, beer, beer, beer.

Scene, scene.

Scene.

I'm in the back going, show, show, show, show.

No, bada, no, bada, no, bada, sawing.

Tony, how pissed off would you be if at some point you realized the three of us are looking at a shared document where all the answers are

that would be so mean.

Wow, I actually wouldn't be that pissed off about it, I'd be jealous.

Well, here's the next riddle, and there is no shared doc, it's just um old and ancient.

It runs for centuries but never moves.

It has a mighty roar, but no lungs or throat.

What is it?

Oh, I went to the wall of China, but then it didn't add up towards the end.

Yeah, a roller coaster.

Old and ancient.

Old and ancient

It runs for centuries, but never moves.

It has a mighty roar, but no lungs or throat.

What is it?

I was thinking like

an old Roman aqueduct or like a cistern.

And the roar would be like the roar of the water moving through it.

By the way, this seven years of doing this is really coming clear, guys.

You're so good at this.

Is it

a waterfall?

It's a waterfall.

Oh, my gosh.

It's so obvious, and that's so good.

You got that.

I got to tell you,

maybe it's because we really are blown away that you agreed to be on our show when we're panic getting these, but in every other episode, we are flailing.

Like we have never done this well, ever, ever, ever.

I want you guys to completely receive your gifting because you are gifted at this, and I need you to accept it and say thank you, Tony.

We are good.

Thank you, Tony.

We are good.

And also, for context, Tony does a show where he talks to like really interesting, accomplished people, and he's giving us compliments.

So it does track that, like, it's got there's got to be some sincerity in here.

He has a baseline to compare it with.

Yeah.

And also, I don't, I feel inferior to those people.

And, or I feel, what is it, less than?

I feel less than those people, but with you guys, I feel like

superior.

These are just facts.

Yeah, you know, you're right.

I give them compliments.

Tony, here's the next riddle.

Let me see here.

I'm squinting a little bit.

What this snake can give you a burn, and when coiled up, it's the opposite of a plate.

This snake can give you a burn.

Oh, it's on top of a stove?

It's opposite of a plate.

You could also smoke.

He's making this up.

I just got what you were trying to do, Adela.

I was like so fucking confused.

I still don't have it.

I still don't get what you're trying to do.

He's trying to create a riddle that only you would get based on an interest or hobby you may have.

Oh, damn it.

It's a rope bowl.

Holy hell.

Tony, you got one.

Oh, you are just.

That's very kind of you.

That's very kind of you.

But can we just acknowledge that those day two got it before me also?

Tony, I got to get my rope bowl, please.

Let's just...

Oh, you're getting it.

But like, even

that, they got before me.

Adult is panicking so much.

He sees the rope bowl Tony is making being thrown into the trash being like, fuck that really mean guy.

This guy was not.

I got that Kelly Green Rot Bowl invision.

I mean, I will say, Kelly Green Road Bowl is a good band name.

Yeah, it is.

Okay.

Kelly Green Road Bowl.

It's a hit.

It's a hit.

All right, Adel.

I'm ready for it.

Adult is about to be googling how do I get milk out of a rope bowl so fast.

Oh, yeah.

Kelly Green Roat bowls got a bit of a breast.

Now, if you eat your cereal out of it, I'm going to be pissed.

Hey, Tony, the bowl got ruined, but not because of me.

Yeah, bitch.

I'll tell you why.

It's made out of rope.

Hey, Tony, I love the hat that you made me, but it doesn't hold milk.

Yeah, bitch.

I'll tell you why.

Yeah, bitch.

If you ever open a store, much like what's his name, open like a camera shop, Jason Lee opened a camera shop, Tony, you got to open up, yeah, bitch, rope balls.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, Jason Lee.

He would have no business.

He opened up a what store?

He opened up like a camera store

in Arizona or something, but it's like Jason Lee's camera store.

Like, he's just like, I love photography.

I love cameras.

And he just opened up a camera store.

Wait, does he work there?

He doesn't work there.

Yeah.

I mean, he has other employees.

It's sort of like Hugh Jackman's coffee shop in New York, where it's like, he might be there.

Hugh Jackman has a coffee shop in New York?

Aaron Wake.

Billy Corgan has a tea shop in the suburbs.

And then Tony Hales at your local farmer's market.

Hey, bitch.

Have some radishes.

Tony, I would, the people of Los Angeles.

I think Buster Bluth just called me a bitch when I was shopping for eggs.

Yeah, Buster would go.

Hey, bitch.

Tony Hales, hey, bitch, Rob Bowls.

Hey, hey, bitch.

Oh, my God.

That should be Applebee's new slogan.

Yeah, Adel, that should be Applebee's new slogan for sure.

That was amazing.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, this one's just for Tony.

This is a real one.

I'm not making mess up.

This is just for Tony.

The spoon feeding that's happening is really fantastic.

An archaeologist found a coin dated 81 BC, but knew it was a fake.

How did they know?

An archaeologist found a coin dated 81 BC, but but knew it was a fake coin.

How did they know?

Is it something that

coins didn't exist before Christ?

Wait.

Yeah, Jesus Christ invented money.

I do want to see a seed.

Wait, 81 BC.

Okay, wait, 81 BC.

I do want to see a seed.

Tony, you're Jesus.

Follower, yes.

Aaron JBC and I, we're sort of your followers.

And today's the day where you pitch us on the concept of wait what's the answer

uh maybe we'll find it maybe we'll find it maybe we'll find it along the way okay wait can you back up what what was the what was the game again yeah um you're jesus uh the rest of us are your followers and today's the day where you came up with the bright idea of money um the concept of money and you're pitching us on money

There he is.

There he is.

There he is.

There is.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey.

Hey, Jesus.

Teacher.

Teacher.

You guys, sit down, sit down.

I got some fish and some bread.

Oh, yes.

First of all, thank you so much for for being here today.

Did you guys know how much I love you?

Oh my God, so much, Jesus.

You love us.

We love you, CCC.

We do love you very much.

Just one fish and one bread.

Well, there are 5,000 people.

I noticed that you were down at the shop and you stole the apple.

You know, I'm not a huge fan of that.

Yeah.

So I'm going to today invent a little process called money.

Money.

Money.

And I need for you to take out some of your sackcloth.

Jesus.

In front of everyone?

Well, no, just your spare sackcloth in your bag.

Not wearing.

Oh, okay.

Yep.

Here we go.

I thought he meant underwear.

Did anyone else think he meant underwear when he had sackcloth?

Sackcloth.

Here's the fabric.

Here's about six inches of my sackcloth.

All right.

Well,

okay.

We don't need six inches.

And

if you could just, so actually, let's take that.

Oh, that's so nice.

You only have five pieces of sackcloth, and we have about 5,000 people here today.

I got the fish in the mic.

I'm going to do something where if you,

JPC, could you rip the sack cloth, put it back in the bag.

Plant, audience, plant.

They know each other.

No, I've never met this man.

I mean, no, I know he's Jesus.

How could you say you never met me?

Because you specifically asked for the first letter and the last letter of your name to be my name, and then you wanted Paul's to be in the middle.

Jesus, Paul Christ.

I just love Paul.

Okay.

I wanted a little something from Paul.

Thank you.

Well, I know, I appreciate that.

He has a rock.

I don't want to overstep.

That's Peter.

I don't want to overstep.

I think Paul could be the rock of your church.

I know you've tapped Peter.

I know you've tapped Peter.

But, Paul,

sorry, Paul's giving me the look.

I have to say this.

Paul, you're the best disciple he has.

You know it.

Okay.

First of all, I'd like to label this gossip, but let's get back to the sister cloth.

Okay, so who wants to reach into the bag and what would they pull out?

Sorry, I'm writing all this gossip on a piece of cloth to send a dumois.

Okay.

Domois.

How do you say that?

Judas here.

I will pull it out.

Great.

And oh, wow, it's still happening.

Oh, man.

Still happening.

Whoa.

Whoa, still happening.

Could you pass out the sackcloth to everybody?

And I would just like to deem that sack cloth is the new money.

And who's going to be using that for apples from now on?

And by the way, I would like to rebrand Apple from the first apple.

So we're going to make Apple a positive fruit.

Wait, wait.

Oh, Jesus, look, the Roman soldiers, they're breaking their way through the crowd.

They're coming up to you.

Oh, Jesus, Jesus of Nazareth.

Is that you?

Yes, it is.

Thank you for coming.

What's your name?

My name?

My name is

Caesar.

Oh, God.

Caesar, prepare to have your mind blown.

This guy's amazing.

Yes, that's why we're here.

He turns water into wine.

Caesar,

do you recognize, you know what?

Caesar's here and give to Caesar what is Caesar's.

So everybody, if you could just give a proportion of your sackcloth to Caesar, let's keep on the rules.

Okay, I mean, this is cool.

I feel like this is sort of going to cause a lot of evil in the world, Jesus.

And that's sort of the opposite of what your whole like branding is.

I know.

But

I think there is something about, like, you know, let's, they the government, like he's thinking, what it was, of course, I'm thinking of all these parables in my head.

We cut, we cut to, we cut to 300 years later when everyone's writing down the Bible.

Does anyone remember?

I remember Jesus from what my grandpa's grandpa used to say.

Yeah, yeah.

He was like really bad at making a point.

Really bad.

Yeah, great enough.

He did speak in a lot of parables.

Parables.

Parables.

But they had like, they did make you think.

So, I mean, are we storytellers?

Many times when people tell stories, they remember more than they do if they just heard like a talk.

That's true.

Speaking of parables, I got a pair of rope bowls here if we want to come up with a scene.

Hey, bitch.

We were in the middle of a riddle.

An archaeologist found a coin dated 81 BC,

but knew it was fake.

I totally forgot about the riddle.

Now, Tony,

the scene we just did

is a bit of a hint.

Is it?

the sort of main character in that scene played by you is a big hint i think i might know what it is but i'm gonna i'm gonna hold off i don't want i don't i have no i don't have any clue here it was

a hint aaron yeah well i don't know if i can give a hint but tony i'll give you a similar question um

a a

person going through their grandpa's belongings found a um flag that said world war one a tattered flag that said world war one

he immediately knew it was a fake flag

or fake, uh, a fake uh,

when I described to you how my armpits are sweating right now and how I can't feel my body.

We'd say that happens a lot on this show, and we're so, so sorry.

Wait, did Tony say before we even did the scene that there couldn't be a BC?

I don't

maybe oh, did Tony say that?

I did say,

Oh, wait, before, well,

okay, so 80 BC is 80 years before Christ.

Yeah,

Black and black.

And

we are 80 BC.

Come on.

Come on.

It wasn't there.

Right.

And if you

wouldn't call it World War I as it was happening is your point about the other.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

So if you found a coin that said 81 BC on it, it would be fake because...

It would be fake because at the time you would Christ was not born.

Yes, you wouldn't know that Christ was even coming.

Yeah.

They didn't didn't know what Christ was.

At first, when you pitched that riddle, I thought it was just dated.

I didn't know that it, there was like a stamp on the coin that said 81 BC.

I thought they were just like, this was probably roughly 81 BC.

And then I was like, I don't know how you would not.

That's so good.

Does it carbon dating not work?

I don't know.

How do you date the coin?

Good, good coin.

Forgery.

Forgery.

Oh, this is One Big Shame Game.

Thank you for inviting me.

A new name for our podcast, One Big Shame Game.

The Big Shame Game.

Kind of new branding for us.

One Big Shame game.

Rather than RuPaul Snatch Game, it's shake.

Tony, I'm just going to sort of intersperse my nerdy comedy questions.

I've always wanted to ask you in between these riddles.

What's your favorite, like, busterism?

What's your favorite buster line from the show?

My favorite line.

Well, I immediately think of my

one of my favorite scenes, even though I'm asthmatic and it was not actually my favorite thing to do, but it's my favorite scenes, is when my mother,

Lucille Bluth, Jessica Walter, was on house arrest and she couldn't smoke.

And so Buster had to, she would, she would light a cigarette and inhale and I would, or she would light a cigarette and I would inhale the smoke out of her mouth and then exhale it on the porch.

And I would run back in like a baby bird and then inhale smoke as she exhaled and then exhale it on the porch.

It was such a picture of the depth of codependency of Buster Bluth that it just framed him in such a beautiful way.

That's perfect.

That's incredible.

That is incredible.

How do you not die laughing?

That is,

I did.

I just broke the whole time.

I broke the whole time.

She didn't really break.

Will, Will made me laugh really hard.

Job.

It's just like, it was so funny.

Like, it was just David Cross.

My favorite David Cross line was:

oh, what is it?

Like Jason,

Jason asks him something, and he goes, like, how's it going?

Or something he goes, good.

It's going to be good.

That was a good David Cross.

I just love David Cross.

Anyways, there's so many.

It was really hard to

hot ham water.

Hot ham water.

The most quoted thing in my house is, there's a bird.

It walked on my pillow.

Samby loves birds.

Oh, I love them.

I love juice.

Love just.

Now, Tony, on arrested development, correct me if I'm wrong.

Was there a Sean that worked on that?

Oh, yeah.

Sean that maybe wronged you, that you've sort of the riddle of your life.

No, we're going back to like middle high.

Middle school, high school.

Middle school.

We're going back to Tally.

Tally, Hassie, Sean.

There's always a Tally Hassan.

Tally hasy Sean.

Yeah.

But, you know,

you get older.

Sean's got his life.

And

I've had a shitload of therapy.

Let's do, we're going to do one more riddle, and I'm going to switch it up just slightly.

So this type of riddle I'm gonna pose or posit is going to be

I'll call this a trio.

I'm gonna give you three things.

This is similar to the ones JVC did, but not quite.

So I'm gonna give you three things and you have to tell me what they all have in common.

The gap

singing in the rain, the movie, and chromosomes.

The gap, singing in the rain, and chromosomes.

I have no idea.

They all have something in common.

They all contain one thing.

Okay.

The gap, singing in the rain, and chromosomes.

Oh, wait.

I know.

Jeans.

Oh.

They all have jeans.

Gene Helly.

Wow.

That's the first one I got.

Wow.

And the last.

Is that what you were going to say, JPC?

No, I had no idea.

I was like,

still on like X and Y.

And I was like, what does the gap have that has X and Y?

Yeah.

Oh, I was never going to get that one.

Damn, good one, Tony.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks.

Now can we have like Forky say hey, bitch or something?

Yeah.

Can we have what?

Can we have Forky say hey, bitch?

Forky would never.

Tony, would you mind just one sentence?

Could you say something as Forky to my wife, Gemma?

My wife Gemma loves Forky.

What?

Her name is Gemma, right?

Mm-hmm.

Gemma.

Hey, Gemma, this is Forky from Toy Story.

Listen, I'm talking to your husband right now, and woo, I got some goss.

But Gemma, you hang in there.

Bye-bye.

That's perfect.

That's perfect.

Telling my wife to hang in there is so appropriate because

living with me is a struggle.

That's about to be her outgoing voice.

Honestly,

honestly, though, she's sick right now.

Adel, you just said before we started recording that she's sick right now.

So a hang in there message, I feel like, is a great message to receive.

Incredible.

Does she have the flu?

We don't know what she is.

Actually, you don't need to get into it.

I don't even know why.

That's so funny.

Never mind.

Do that to yourself.

Poor thing.

Gemma, feel better.

I relate to Forky because I'm also trash.

I'm trash.

Do you know what I love about, there's so many things I love about Forky, but he obviously asks so many questions.

And do you remember Gabby Gabby, the little doll in the antique?

She was scary.

He was very scary.

But Forky, since he was new to the world and didn't know anything, he was just like, she's got pretty hair.

and went over and just started brushing her hair.

And because

she was not deemed the evil doll by someone, it enabled her to have kind of a redemptive storyline and she found someone to love her.

And it was because someone crossed the line and went over and saw into her world and didn't see her as a bad person, which we need to do more in life.

That's beautiful.

Wow.

And four kings.

JPC.

Well, hey, Tony, you are the MVP of this podcast because you have one riddle, right?

Hey, you still win.

Tell people about the show, which releases today.

Now, this is a little peek behind the curtain.

We are actually recording this on April 23rd, the day the show comes out.

Casey is working all night to edit this thing, to get it out

immediately.

I don't know how the math works out.

I'm not going to lie to people.

We have no good stuff.

We talked about Jesus today.

This is not the time to lie.

Tell us about the show, a little more about the show.

It's so fun.

So, yeah, so Christian Shaw, Matt Oberg, and I, and it's like, just, just what you mean, it's a joy to do.

And I think hopefully it's going to be a joy to listen to.

And it's honestly like, it's, it's an opportunity for us and me to meet people that are doing things.

And I have absolutely no idea how you do it.

You know, it's, yeah.

I mean, I, I be honest, I struggle with anxiety.

I do not like heights.

And we're meeting these people who just do crazy things.

I'm like, do you think about death?

You know, do you wake up and you can't wait to do it again?

Does it even just things like this just be the opportunity to ask?

And we laugh a lot, and it's really fun.

That's incredible.

That's a great idea for a podcast.

It really is.

A lot of people who've like beat Guinness Records and all that kind of stuff.

That's so cool.

Yeah, it's cool.

Listen to Extraordinarians.

Extraordinarians.

Extraordinarians.

Thank you guys for having me.

This was really, really, really fun.

This is a real honor for us.

We are big nerds for your work.

Oh, please.

Same.

Adel, Aaron, do we have anything to plug?

I got nothing.

I want to plug

Tony Hales.

Hey, bitch, Rote Bowls.

I'm coming to, I believe, bitch, the Rot Bowls.

Sedona Farmer's Market?

Yeah, Sedona Farmer's Market near you.

The only farmer's market that would accept me of the entire world.

We'll take him.

Fine.

We'll get a tax write-off.

Check out the show on Patreon, patreon.com slash Hay Riddle Riddle.

It's still April of the Penguins over on Patreon, Penguin Baseball all month long.

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, I know that you, I don't want to give too much away, but you know, you've done some Pixar work.

You know, Toy Story is adjacent.

Would you like to introduce your new character?

Wait, I'm sorry.

We didn't even, I didn't hear about this.

What Pixar work have we done here?

I did some voices and wrote some bits and bops for their new TV show win or lose that came out a couple months ago.

Yeah, I saw that advertised.

Yes.

It was so fun.

I mean, it was like my, I actually am full of existential dread because it was my dream job and I had no other dreams.

So now I'm like, what do I do?

New dreams.

New dreams.

Have you been able to go up to the Pixar headquarters?

I've been there a couple times.

Isn't it like the most magical place in the world, probably?

It is just so cool.

If you guys get a chance to go up and have you been like, the offices each have like a theme and stuff like that.

Do you have a favorite one?

I went to one that was like a jungle theme that was really cool, but it's like they get...

art directors in there to kind of, you know.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

I like the crashed plane one a lot, but the witch's cabin one, I don't know if you've been in that one.

one i did see that one it is the coolest that'd be hard to work in

it's for new hires it's for new hires

okay if they can't hack it in the witch's house they they bounce out the cold darkness

it is the coolest place in the world it is and the food's good it's so good it i truly when the first time i went and i was walking around i was like did they think i'm like a camera crew everyone was so happy and sweet i would be walking by and they'd be like i'm working on the lighting for inside out too do you want to see what I'm working on?

And I'm like, What the heck is happening?

The happiest people in the world.

Yeah.

It's awesome.

That's cool.

Congratulations.

That's cool.

Thank you so much.

Oh, we were trying to end the show.

What was that?

Oh, Jupiter.

Yes, that's how we ended the show.

I forgot that you were trying.

I was like, oh, we were talking about it.

Logo created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Nevoris.

Mind it to your hate-rent corridor.

Hey there, the eggs and the balls.

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