#349: Beverly Schoobadoo

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Erin, can you nudge your volume down for me just a touch, please? Casey wants the woman to be quieter.

Wow. Classic Casey.
Erin, turn down your volume. Hey, Casey.
Hey, Casey. I can still hear her in my headphones.

Can we fix that? She's still really shrill annoying, Casey.

Is there anything we can do about that? Can you turn down how chatty you are? Aaron, really naggy today in my headphones.

The doctor was the pop assistant.

Oh, Lord.

Whose uh episode is this?

Moi

Moi Mo Ma Ma Moi Mo Ma Ma's.

Tell me who's going to be.

Okay.

I don't have an idea.

Aaron, wait, that was something. No, no.

Aaron, wait.

Moi, moi, moi moi. Moi moi, moi, moi.
Aaron, do what you just did to start the episode. I don't remember.
I think I don't. Okay, well, Casey, put it in.
I guess Casey will have to put it in.

Okay, Aaron, I'll set you. I'll set you up here.
Okay, great.

This is Aaron Keefe's audition for Mulan Rouge. The venue.
Sorry, we time traveled. The venue, not the show.

I have all the right diseases from 1900 to be here.

Sing.

Are you willing to shave?

Of course not. It's 1900.

Did you say corset? Corset. It's 1900.

Or 1890, whatever the fuck.

Who can say? Hey, the only thing that I can say is I'm JPC. That's Aaron over there.
And to my left is Mr. Adelrify.

We are the podcast. What the fuck was that? We are the podcast.
We're the podcast.

Guys, we did it. We're the cockroaches of podcast.
We're the only one left. How's the water wars going for everyone else? We can't die.

This is the only podcast that can never die. This is Hey, Riddle, Riddle, the podcast about

riddles. And this is a podcast where...
It's two in the morning. You go into the kitchen, turn on the light.
This podcast scuttles under the fridge. Oh, yeah.

And you go, tomorrow I got to call somebody about this podcast.

This podcast is like when you can hear something under your front porch, and then so you have to lift up one of the stairs to see what's under the front porch.

And if it's under there, the podcast under there, and its eyes are like really beady in the dark, and it's like

the podcast feels cornered. Yeah.
This is the podcast that is the can of pinto beans deep within your cabinet, and you, it's got like dust all over it.

You pull the dust, and you go, oh, certainly this has to be expired. And then you check the back, and it's like 2045.

How could pinto beans be good for this long?

Well, they're always good this long if they're Goya, Goya beans.

Let them collect dust and have them at a pinch. I think the Goya guy is like a Trump guy, right? Never mind.
Any other beans? Any other beans of the world?

Any other beans by any other name with smell of sweets?

Don't buy

beans.

Don't buy Goya beans unless something has changed from like 11 years ago when I heard about Goya beans.

This podcast is like when you, there's like an ashtray outside and people have been putting cigarettes out in it and then it rains. We're like the water in the ashtray.

And that is like sort of the vibe of our podcast.

This podcast is like when you're on a flight and you have like a 20-ounce bottled water and you take a little sip and then you go to put it in the back of the seat, but then it falls on the ground and then the plane kind of does a tip and it rolls rolls forward under the seats and you're like, oh no.

And then someone looks behind like, can you just kick me? And it's like, can I get that, my water bottle? My water just, can I get.

Did you just kick me with this water bottle?

That's what this podcast is, I think. Now, Adam, let me ask you a question.
20-ounce bottle of water.

Is this a bottle you're bringing from home? Are you buying water at the airport? Can I blow your fucking mind? Absolutely.

There's not a flight I've gotten on in the last, I'm going to say seven years since I've been with Gemma where I didn't get a free thing of water.

Because every flight we go on, Gemma says, I work with spirit. I'm also a flight attendant.
Let me know if you need anything. And immediately they always say, Do you need anything? Do you need water?

Snacks? And we get our pick. Whoa.

So it's kind of a flight attendants looking out for each other. Wow.
And they just hand you the full bottle, huh?

And Casey, go ahead and edit out JPC saying stewardess.

Yeah, they just give you a big

bottle.

oh wow that's beautiful um

that's that's cool that the flight attendants take care of each other like that i i do you think it's that is true for other professions or do you think because flight attendant is like a a union profession is that like uh a like a union solidarity thing podcasters don't do that we don't take care of each other like that well this podcast is if like you're staying at a hot motel um and you go down to the front desk and ask for an extra blanket because your room is freezing and they give you that like horrible scratchy wool blanket.

We're like that blanket.

So no, we don't take care of each other. Casey edit out when Aaron called that hotel staff person the stewardess.
Oh, come on. Well, it's just keep it in.
I'm not even sexist. It's just wrong.

That's wrong and sexist.

I think stand-ups still will,

if they find out somebody else is a stand-up, they'll not laugh for them. Like they'll sit in the crowd with with their arms crossed.
Oh, no.

That's not my experience because I've not had much experience doing stand-up, but usually when I'm doing stand-up and I run into another stand-up in the wild or in the world, they give me a joke and they say, go ahead and use it.

Use this joke.

It's everyone's. Yeah.

Well, we share jokes. That's what people don't know about our community is that we share jokes because writing them is hard.

And a lot of it is just like, if we can split the labor, you know, it's like, why, why do double labor? You know? Yeah.

It's a really good point. It's a really, really good point.
And it's a really good group of guys.

I feel like a lot of them. Can you edit out JPC saying stewardess is there?

Can you edit in me calling all stand-up stewardesses?

The guy that calls any woman in a professional capacity a stewardess.

Yeah, I went to the hospital because my fucking neck was killing me. And the stewardess working on me in the hospital is like, what's your date of birth? What's your age?

Nurse?

I'm sorry. Yeah, no, I should be drinking this beer faster.
You're right. I shouldn't be nursing it.
Stop nursing your beer.

The beer was a woman, and the beer was a woman. You never believe it.
I was at the bus stop the other day. Bus pulls up.
They got a stewardess driving the bus.

I love this. This rock.

I'm about to join the 10 Feet High Club, if you know what I'm saying. How far do I think a bus sits up off the ground? 10 feet.

You're calling yourself out. You're roasting yourself.
This guy over here thinks the bus is 10 feet off the ground. It's you.
Thanks for riding.

This all stand up.

Thanks for riding the 67 bus, everyone. We cannot go under any overpass.

Thank you for riding the 69 bus, everyone. We can't go by any streetlights.
We can't go by.

We can't do anything.

We will be doing doughnuts in this one chunk of street.

The jokes about the guys who think like that are fun until you kind of have the sad moment where you're like, there's probably a couple of hundred guys like that that really do exist.

Yeah.

More than that. More than that.
Or the guys who are like, yeah, firefighters and firefightresses.

What kind of plant is a firefightress?

Those are really high-maintenance plants. Yeah.

Oh, wait, my fightress score is very low.

Yeah.

Good or bad.

We don't know. We don't know, Adam.
I'm so sorry. I got, oh, I was going to say yesterday I bought some coffee and on the coffee, like it had like a bunch of bullshit, like, um,

you know, like marketing copy or whatever, but it had this thing on it that said, like, gender equality. And it just, it struck me as weird.

So I was like, why is my, why did I buy gender equality coffee? Like, what, what is this? What's, what is the thing that they're trying to say?

And it said on the coffee, it was like gender equality, um, making like, you know, coffee growing, sustainable, blah, blah, blah, for like both men and women.

And I was like, so you're going out of your way to do gender equality shit, but you're still doing like gender essentialism. You're still just being like, there's men or women and both are equal.

We do like equality. I'm only for those two.
These two categories. To enjoy this story, I have to know, was it a barista or a baristo?

Yeah, I went to my baristo and my baristress.

Aaron, would you like to be called a podcastress?

Yes. Actually, I think I would like to be called a podcastress.
No, that's my thing. Yeah, it actually sounds, I want that thing to say.

It makes it sound like I have a silk cape and I'm riding on a horse. Oh, I saw like a leather riding crop.
Oh, which I guess you could have on a horse as well.

I have a real Irene Adler vibe. Is that the woman from Sherlock Holmes? She's a stewardess.

Stewardess for Sherlock Holmes. Stewardess for Sherlock Holmes.
Stewardess for Sherlock Holmes.

Yay!

Oh, this is only, guys. Listen out here.
This is only funny in a safe space. This is not a funny thing to do at your work.
You can't start calling your work. Stewardesses

will not like it. We told you guys that we are the

mom.

We told you that we are the sludge of podcasting. We warned you at the beginning of the day.
We are the podcast. We are the premier sludge podcast.

JPC, before I get into riddles, just want to know, how's your wife?

What the fuck is going on? You mean my wife, Tris? Yeah, your wife, Tris. How's my spouse, Tris? Yeah, how's your spouse, Tris?

Okay, let me check my phone. I think my wife is good.
She's at work right now.

You texting my wife, Aaron? I was thinking about it.

You see, I have a new persona that is actively pursuing JPC's wife.

We'll just keep checking in throughout the year to see if she ends up staying with old JPC.

I was hanging out with Adel yesterday, and I was trying to text you, Aaron, while Adel and I were hanging out. And I kept putting Aaron in my phone, and it was not pulling up at all.

And I told Adel, I was like, I knew the second I did this that this was going to be a big problem for me, but I changed Aaron's name in my phone to her new persona, Beverly Shubidoo.

And now, every time I go to text her, I'm like, what the fuck? Do I what is Aaron's? Is my phone fucking broken? It's like, no, it's Beverly Shubidoo.

Aaron is Beverly Shubidoo with us today? She is. And Beverly Shubidoo, what is your favorite word? Shoo-badoo.

And Beverly Shubidou,

if you meet God at the gates of heaven, what do you hope he says to you?

Your wife, Mariah is inside.

Sorry,

you're Godstress. Hey, good news for me.
I mean, bad news for me that my wife's dead, but heaven. Not your wife anymore.
She's shoebidou. Oh,

I forgot the best one. Beverly Shubidu, final question.
What is your favorite curse word? Shoo Badoo. That makes sense.

I like Beverly Shubidoo, but in my butt,

it's well, no, I hate her because we're in direct competition. But I also kind of already won Shubadoo.
Hey, JPC. You're playing catch-up.

JPC.

Were you going to say

in your mind it's Adam Sandler in the wig?

I was going to say, I say it like Adam Sandler. I say, Sam.

it sounds like somebody asked Adam Sandler, like, what's your favorite hills? And he goes, oh, beautifully. Showbadu.

How can you compete with someone that your wife invented? She named me. Aaron, Aaron's made up a persona while we were on the Joco cruise.

Well, I wouldn't say Aaron made up a persona. Mariah made up a persona for Aaron based on the way that Aaron was dressing and acting.

So

Aaron only packed costumes to go on this like week-long boat,

you you know, a trip that we all went on together. Because I'm fun and I know what life's all about.
Continue. Well, I don't think you are, Aaron, but I think Beverly Shubadoo is all of those things.

I think that you went into a fugue state, packed someone else's bags, opened them up, and then said, this is me for a week. Yeah.
It's like a Hannah-Montana situation.

And what was your favorite costume of mine or outfit?

I liked the one on the last day, that like white nautical themed, like, I think you said it was like an Etsy jacket that that you found for three dollars. An eBay jacket, yeah.

An eBay jacket that you found for three dollars. I think that one, that one was, was my favorite.

Thank you. I'm gonna get you.

It was the only thing that you had with a modicum of modesty.

Which, hey, don't get me wrong, I like my stewardesses to show a little way, but

pinches. Casey, go ahead and delete that.

No, double it.

Aaron, my favorite outfit you wore was, I think it was, was it the last day as well? Is when when I, when I told you you looked like the world's most expensive Muppet.

It was like a jacket with like tinsel on it. Oh, yeah, that was the pink pony party.
Oh, yeah, for the, yeah.

And then, Aaron, you also brought at least two wigs, correct? I think I saw you in at least two. Yeah, there were several wigs in my bag.
There were several wigs.

The, when I was wearing that pink wig with the tinsel jacket, I went up to the performer bar.

and

walked by Paul F. Tompkins and went, hi.
And he went, hi. And I was like, that's weird.

We performed together last night. I thought we had like a nice little report going.
Strange. And then I posted a photo on Instagram that night of me wearing that.

And he responded to my Instagram story with all caps, being like, oh my God, I had no idea it was you.

What the fuck?

Like so confused. Because I'm really transforming a wig.
Beverly Shuvidu was there. Not Aaron.

There's a moment on the crew, on Joko where

I saw a group of people in the casino all wearing fun costumes. And one of them looked at me and I was like, that girl looks just like Aaron.
And then she waved at me and I go, oh no.

And I walked away very quickly. And then Aaron was like, it was nice to see you in the casino.
And I was like, I didn't know it was you. And I got so scared.

I'm like, oh, this woman caught me staring at her. Just waving at somebody else.
But I was like, she looks just like Aaron. But I truly, my first instinct was not, that's Aaron in a costume.

It wasn't Aaron Adel. It was Beverly.
Beverly shoe-doo.

And now we know that you guys, if you want your friend, if you want to think all your friends are mad at you, wear a wig because they all look at you and be like,

and I was like, and Adel walked away and I was like, is Adel pissed at me? What did I do? What did I do?

Aaron, let me ask you: do you think that that is a good way to like see if your friends are mad at you? Or no, you just, that's a good way to make you think your friends are mad at you. Yeah.

Because I do think it would be nice if you were going to like a party to go in like full prosthetic costume so that you could like see who was gonna talk shit about you you know that would be that would be like a fun social experiment

yeah but i wouldn't randomly go up to like a guy i didn't know at a party that's wearing like a mustache and a top hat being like yeah uh do you got a little time for me to vent about jpc so what do you think prosthetics are because i i love i love mustache and top hat but i just don't know that i would qualify no i know I know you.

You'd go too far. Before I get

pleased, oh, please, please. I was going to say, before I get into riddles,

if you guys ever went back on the Joco Cruise,

would you take a page out of Beverly Shoe Badoo's book and have a little bit more fun with what you're wearing?

I would be, I'm going to wear, if I get to go back to Joco, which I very much hope I do because I had an amazing time, I'm going to wear the outfit or thing that JPC got me for Christmas that's like the

moss ghillie suit.

And I'm going to be like Bobby Bedoink or something.

Aaron, I uh Bobby Bedoink.

I will say I didn't I didn't have

a lot of uh costume pieces in in my in the clothes that I brought to Joke up.

But the the one thing that I did bring that I got um several compliments about was I went to Target like maybe the week before and they were having some like Valentine's Day stuff like shirts that were on sale.

And so I got a Valentine's Day SpongeBob shirt, which was SpongeBob and Patrick with like a big heart on it. And then I cut off the sleeves of the t-shirt and made it into a tank top.

And I had several people come up to me and be like, oh, I love that shirt. And there was, there was one point where we were in, Mariah and I were in.

One of the port stops, St. Martin, I think it was.
And we were talking to some people that recognized us and they were coming to see the Hay Road Overtill show or whatever.

And I was saying hello to them. And then someone who worked at the bar at St.
Martin came out of the bar and was like, hey, where did you get that shirt? And I said, oh, I got it at a Target.

And they went, Target? And then they like, kind of like, they kind of like were dejected a little and then went inside. And I was like, oh, yeah, I just told someone who probably lives on St.

Martin that I got it from a store that they will never have on this island. Like there's, there will never be a Target on this island for 20,000 people.

And I'm protesting Target, and we all should start doing that as well. They stop doing that.
Because they sell such good shirts. Because they sell such good shirts.

The bigger question: are we protesting riddles? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm going. I'm going.
I'm going. I'm going.
I'm going.

But Bobby Bedoink and Beverly Shubidoo are going to be having fun.

And JPC, you can go to hell with your dope costumes.

And JPC and I said, if we go on another Joku, we're going to get fucking ripped. We're going to get shredded.
Yeah. Drunk, right? Is that what we meant? Yeah.
Drunk.

Okay.

We are back with these scientist riddles that might be from Molly.

We don't know. We can't know.
Might be from Molly.

Molly from San Francisco works in the wine bin. Super nice.
Here we go.

Why is that a disclaimer? It's a disclaimer. Illegally, we have to do it just in case.

What happened when the mad scientists fell into the lens grinding machine? Oh, I hate these. That's just like 2020 Vision Joker, or what's like.

Huh?

You know, like Joker fell into a a Vaticanicals, became regular Joker. This is like a.

Yeah, what was the name of the chemical planet that he fell into?

It wasn't Acme. That's like Luniti's.

What was it? Right.

Probably Wayne Enterprises. It doesn't matter.

What did the mad scientist say when he fell into the lens crafting machine?

Grinding machine.

You said lens grinding machine, and I know that that is a thing, but do you guys know what the fuck a lens grinding machine is? is? No. I was sort of hoping you guys would shed some light on that.

I truly know that I've like heard that before, but I can't really conceptualize why you would need to grind a bunch of lenses.

Is this like a, is this a pun answer? Yeah. Yeah.
Let me,

let me, what about what happened when the mad scientist flashed all of his colleagues? Well, is this post falling into the lens grinding machine? Forget the lens grinding machine.

Okay, because I think they'd all be like, oh my God, are you okay?

Is this the same answer, Aaron? It's just a different answer. This is the same answer.

So we have Lynn's grinding machine falling into, and we... You don't need that.
You don't need that anymore. Okay.

Because that's not going to help. I feel like the answer lines up more with.
Okay.

What did the mad scientist say when he flashed his friends? What was it? His colleagues. His colleagues.
Or what happened when the mad scientist got up on a table and started singing at a wedding?

Okay. So it has nothing to do with his penis.
Because the second one, I was like, obviously, they're going to be upset. Everything has to do with someone's penis.

If people got a penis, they make it out. Everything they do.

He got up on a table. Okay, so he embarrassed himself.
Is this him embarrassing himself? Yeah, but what's a way of saying that? He

that is a that, but that, I guess, actually, the lens grinding thing is important

for this part of it. He saw.

He saw himself. He saw who he was.
They saw

hindsight was 2020.

Bifocals. Tri-focused glasses.
Odd focals.

Sunglasses.

Oh,

they were reading him, and then I snapped my neck. Oh,

he made a spectacle of himself. He made a spectacle.

I'd like to see a scene. Adel, you are at the eye doctor getting an eye test done.
JBC, you are the eye doctor,

and you're really bad at your job.

Sorry, should I sit in the chair?

I was going to sit in the chair. Oh, you mean the chair? Yeah.
No, you. I didn't know if this was a test, if it was like, can he see where to sit from? No, no, yeah.
I forgot about.

I forgot about the. Yeah, I forgot about that chair because I wanted to sit in my chair.

Is Dr. Moray on vacation?

Yes.

He is. Well, it's his honeymoon.

Yeah. He likes to say that this weekend he's Dr.
Amore. Amore.

Oh. Because his name is Dr.
More.

And don't tell him I said that, because he told me not to say that when he went away. I'm not going to promise not to tell him something.
We're very good friends. Okay, well, yeah, but he's.

Not great friends because he didn't really get married. He is on his honeymoon.

Yeah, this whole, like, this weekend through the next week. So I'm, yeah.

Oh, oh my god. You just blew in my eyes so hard.
Oh, no. Is there like a machine that's supposed to do that? You just as you're talking, you just kind of.

Yeah, sorry.

I got so close because I was starting the eye exam, but while we were just having a casual conversation, and I have a

medical condition, actually, where I have to exhale sharply. Oh.
Yeah, so I'm sorry. Sit in the chair.

Do you have any preferences?

Or any allergies that I should know about? I'm allergic to pollen and A1 steak sauce preferences.

I mean, I don't want you to blow in my eye again, but other than that,

I'm willing to play ball. I will have to blow in your eye a couple more times for medical, medical reasons.

I just said. Well, yeah, but you can't go to like, you can't go a dentist and say, like, I have a thing where I don't want you to touch my teeth.
They can't help you if they do that.

You know, I have to blow in your eye because that's how I see like...

I have to test your reaction speed and stuff. You're not going to touch my eye or anything, right? You're not going to try and

yank that bad boy out of there, right?

What? You're not gonna try and like take my eyeball out of my head or something, right? You just have you just. Oh, I don't need to take your eyeball out of your head.
Can you pop them out

like far? No.

Like the woman from Ripley's black. We all know the woman from Ripley's.
The woman who could pop them out really far? Yes. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face.
How far can...

How far can you get them? I'll just touch. I won't touch them, but I'll wear gloves.
I'll wear gloves tomorrow.

Starting tomorrow, tonight I'm going to get gloves, and tomorrow I'll start wearing gloves so that your, and I wash my hands, so your eyes will be the last eyes I touch, and so you don't have to worry about cross-contamination or anything like that.

Oh, this is like a like a clockwork orange machine. No.
What? Yeah. No.
It's like a clockwork orange machine.

No, that movie had a lot of really inappropriate stuff in it that we won't be doing in the office. So I really resent that.

I really resent that. Why are you dressed like a moog?

Or whatever they're called?

It is a moog, and I, this is technically a Halloween costume. Um, because I went to the store this morning, um,

the Spirit Halloween store this morning to buy a doctor costume, and this one just started, it caught my eye, and so I it caught my eye. Kind of what I'm doing to you.
Help! Um, help!

What? No! Help!

Please don't tell Dr. Moray, please don't talk to me.
I just wanted to do a good job while he was gone. Technically, I'm only supposed to be answering phones and saying the office is closed.
See,

Yay.

Optometristness. That's hard to say.
Optometrist and stewardess. Optometristness.

What book tells you about the different kinds of owls?

Owls.

Encyclopoulpedia. That's a great answer.

The owls.

Okay, the Bible. The Bible.
The Bible.

It's kind of Trump. A little Trump.
The Bible.

What book tells you about the different kinds of owls?

Alcopedia. Owl.

Owl. Is the word owl in the answer, Erin? No.

Is it like, do I have to know the technical name for the owl, like the phylus genum kingdo?

That's definitely close, though, I'm sure.

Is this another pun, but it's like something to do with feathers or something any bird would have, or specifically owls? Owls, what they're famous for something. Oh, they say who.

Who? Who?

Whokopedia. No.

Encyclopedia.

About all the different owls.

All the different owls. So who is not correct?

It is, but you're missing. Oh,

would this be like a who's who? Yes.

Yes.

Who is a book, I guess.

I guess. I'd like to see a scene.
We are three owls, and we're sitting in a tree, and we're sort of gossiping about other owls.

Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who? I shouldn't say. Who slept with Mark? Who? Who? Who?

I shouldn't say. I shouldn't say.
Who? Guys, let's just focus on killing little mice

and abuse.

Okay, so let's just sort of like focus. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
In the barn? That's gross.

I didn't hear from an owl.

Mark's not even a barn.

Is it Mark? Is it Mark? Was it Mark? Who? Who? Who? What is your question?

Who slept with Mark? Was it Mark?

Oh, I forgot. We were trying to guess who slept with Mark.
And we were guessing. That could have been other Mark.
It could have been other Mark. Who? Who? Which one? Other Mark is a cow.

You never said Mark slept with another owl.

And it was in a barn. And it was in a barn.

Okay. Who else goes in the barn? Cats go in barns.
Cats go in barns. Farmers.
Farmers. Farmers.

All I'm saying is that you already have all the information that you need. But also, I'm not a gossip.

Was it Farmer John?

Was it Farmer John or his stewardess wife? I never said that it was not group sex. It's a whole thing.

Wait a second. Wait a second.
Wait a second. Dan.

I think it was Marcy.

I think Marcy was in love. Because Marcy never said how she knew that it happened.

Wow.

Oh, she's turning her head. She's turning her head 360 degrees.

I think she's trying to, I think she might be trying to snap her own neck. Trying to snap my own neck.
I don't want you to know I slept with Mark and Mark. Ooh, the one thing an owl can't do.

See.

Before you guys realize that two owls had a threesome with a cow, let's move on to another riddle. Whoa, moo, Hoo Hoo.
That's called a Moohoo Hoo.

Oh, wow. Who Moo Moo.
No, a Moo Hoo Hoo is also

Yoo Hoo milkshake. Could that be a thing? A hoo-hoo milkshake.

Yeah, Yoohoo with it. A milkshake might be pretty good, actually.

I have necessarily

a logo diner delicious.

Why does the mad scientist count his money with his toes?

I mean,

because He's got his finger in the electric socket of the

Brinket Science Monster.

Is it that, Eric? Bring it sponsor should have like an outlet on him, right? Nowadays. No, he has some like you

have like a USB.

Wait, so is he generating the energy or is it does he have like a plug, like a power cord?

He has like one of like he has a thing for like your Apple Watch, your headphones,

your AirPods,

adapters, thumb drive, like a micro USB C3 or whatever.

Yes, maybe he has like a like a charging port like a like an EV would have, you know, that you have, you need to have that like special sort of charger. Yeah.
All right, I do want to see.

Mostly he gets hit by lightning, and that's probably power. I want to see a seed.
Aaron, you are driving your EV.

You're at like you're at one of those like charging stations at the mall or whatever, and you're pulling up, but

all the spots are taken. And the only person that you can see there is Adel.
Adel, you are

Dr. Frankenstein, and you are charging your monster and the EV slot.
And JPC will be Frankenstein's monster. Of course.

Unbelievable. Oh, my God.
Hey, excuse me. Hey, careful.

Sorry.

How much longer are you going to be? I'm just trying to figure out who I can pull up behind who's going to be quick. Oh, let me check.
I'm in a bit of a rush.

Charge. Charge 40.
40. Charge.
Sorry, you don't have a car. Hmm.
You don't have a car? Can I just pull in here and start charging? Sorry, this thing is my car.

It's my son. It's my life's work.
It's my car. It's my everything.

Whoa.

See, if he gets down on all fours, Frankie, all fours. All fours, Frankie.

Oh, Frankie, Ope.

See, he has sort of like, I put wheelies in him. Remember wheelies? The shoes that kind of turn into rollerblades? Yeah, of course.
I'm wearing them now.

Sorry, I made a man from Dead Parts, and then I put wheelies in him and his hands and feet. And then I can sort of drive him around.
Huh?

He's at 40% to answer your question. Good day.

Sorry, Frankie. Did I see you on the news?

I don't know. Was I walking behind a reporter during a flood or something? What do you want from me? Yeah,

definitely that. I'm sure.
Or was it me digging up bodies from a grave? Yeah, I think it was you digging up bodies from a graveyard. While a bunch of high schoolers kicked me in the balls.

Yeah, while a bunch of high schoolers kicked you in the balls. There's a pretty high reward for someone who finds you, huh? Um, Frankie, what do we do with people who snitch?

Uh,

what do snitches get? Charge. No, we don't charge.
Charge battery. Oh, boy.

He's supposed to say snitches get sticks. I'm going to call them now.

The high schoolers? No, well, yeah, them too. Just come down here because.
Frankie, do we do when we see high schoolers? Frankie's only at 40. Run!

That's right. You're cheerful.

See?

And keep in mind that this book is from the past. And so everything seems a little timey and off.
Aaron, can I blow your mind? Every book's from the past. Every Every book's from the past, Aaron.

Every book's from the past, Aaron. Holy shit, she just blew my mind.
Who's this witch that just came in? She just blew my mind. I thought I was going to blow hers and she blew mine.

Every book's from the past. Every book's from the past.

Why?

Why did the mad scientist count his money with his toes? Yeah. Aaron, that's a character called the Lyscarian.

Oh, da-da-da-da.

Is this something to do with like

tender flesh tiddle?

Oh, that's a

ba song.

Dancing queen.

Mamma be a

mamma beauty.

Gimme, gimme, gimme.

So it won't slip through his fingers.

Slipping through my fingers all the time. That's an ABBA song?

That can't even be a top 10 ABA song. Yeah, it's pretty famous.

Well, pretty famous.

This is a band that only has bangers. I'd like to see a seed.
Oh, boy. Adult, you are a banker.

GPC, you're trying to open a bank account because your money is running out really fast and you're trying to keep it safe. Okay.

Hey, excuse me. How long does it take to open up a bank account? Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'll go to the back of the line. I just have one question.
How long does it take to open up a bank account?

You can't cut a line. I'm not cutting a line.
I'm not doing any transactions. I'm asking one question.

Sorry, how long it takes to open up a bank account? If I had to open one today, how long would it take? Well, it depends on what type of account you're opening. Just checking.
Checking banking, FDIC.

I just want to make sure it's insured. Okay.

And what would be your deposit today?

Today, it depends on how long it's going to take.

Right now. I'm trying to do a withdrawal.
We all want to be somewhere right now. Do you have a question?

Because I just have one question. So if anyone is in this line for questions.
We all have questions. That's why we're in line and not at the ATM, sir.
What's your question? What's your question?

Hold on, hold on. What's your question, ma'am? What's your question?

Mine is personal. I don't want to shout it across the bank.
Well, if we're not going to be free with our questions, you could just be a liar who doesn't have a question.

And now I can see you're taking extra time to think of what your question would be. No.

Is your question like, can I do a withdrawal? Because the answer is always going to be yes. I can tell you it's going to be yes.
I have one question just to ask the question.

Hey, can you make it faster? Because they were getting really mad at me. And I really just want to ask, like, how long does it take to open like a standard typical?

Just everybody gets the same account, like a basic account.

Um, okay, let's sit down here. I want...
They're sitting. They're sitting.
That's not on me.

I only asked the one question. You cut in line.
If there is an actionable thing that needs to be done, you need to wait in line. Okay.

You seem like you are very mad at me. No one else in this line, no one else in this line is making a stink.
Could they? But all be all making a stink? No, but they stink.

They stink, but they're not saying anything. Everyone, everyone, please.
Please, everyone, please. Banker does a frontward roll and drops his cane.
Ha ha.

Today is the day that I choose one of you to take over my bank. Okay, he seems really hurt.
He seems really hurt. Come with me.
He's

leg is impaled by the cane.

Scene. Wait, hold on.
Wait. Did he say come with me, FDIC? That.
Yeah, it's a Willie Walker situation. That's an event.
That's a beautiful candy factory. It was a bank factory.

A bank factory.

Money printer.

Why

did the mad scientist shoot his car? Aaron, at this point,

this guy is. He was gassed off.

This guy is not able to be

mentally.

Yeah.

I mean, we're getting like farther into the mad and farther away from the scientist. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Aaron, hit me with that question one more time.
Why did the mad scientist shoot his car?

It's sort of. Oh, oh, oh, because it was leaded.
It took unleaded. No,

that's way smarter than this. I don't know if I both had a brainstorm where we got to lead as a bullets at the same time.

I haven't heard anyone use this phrase that's in the answer in a minute, but it feels like something like a dad would say when you want you to turn off the car.

Um, we're not, we're not heating the neighborhood, we're not gasing the neighborhood. Electric company, um, it's a simple, why would you shoot something

because it bumped into the wife?

No, something.

What, what's the means, like, what, what end result are you hoping when you shoot something? Kill it, kill the engine,

kill the engine more. Yeah, kill the motor.
This is a um, what's her name, Amelia Bedelia situation. Exactly.

Um,

So this mad scientist is straight up fucking stupid.

Do you want to see a scene? Oh, I wanted to see a scene.

May I call one, please?

Aaron, I want to see a scene. You are

at a concert.

JPC, and you're a human woman. And JPC, you're a car at the concert.
And Aaron, you're kind of really getting annoyed with this car to where you might start a fight. Cool.

The car turns on its brights brights when everyone is like putting their flashlights up and their

lighters. Ah, God.

Hey, sorry. Sorry.
That's just really bright. It's like changing the lighting of.
I bought a ticket.

Everybody here bought a ticket. Yeah, that's true.
Everyone here bought a ticket. So we all spent money and sort of we shouldn't prioritize one person's experience over everyone else.
Oh,

oh, person.

Okay, have a nice day. Have a nice life.
Now we see how narrow-minded you are, person.

This car is so drunk. Oh, I do.
This next song is called Yellow.

I know all the words for this one. Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Honk, Hong Kong.

Honk, Honk Hong, Honk, Honk. Hong Kong, Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk.
Hey.

Hey. I know all the words too, and they're actually not Honk.
They're

your ski.

Oh, yeah, you're ski-do-boat.

So that's actually what the words are. It's Hong Kong, Honk.
Hey, how about you take your hand off my bumper, okay? Oh, sorry. Apology not accepting.
Your bumper sticker says,

touch my ass.

Did someone say.

Oh my god, did someone put a touch my ass bumper sticker on me?

This sucks. Yeah, because you're a real jerk, you know? I think it's because my ex is here.
Okay, that sounds like your business. I think my ex is here, and I think he was playing a prank on me.

Okay, that's not my problem, man. You're right.
It's not my problem. You're just the creep who touched my ass.
Okay, I'm sorry. Your car.
You're a car.

Now's the point of the show where I, Chris Martin, will bring up one lucky fan in the first 20 rows to sing with me. Oh, I'm

40 rows back.

Drive.

Honk, honk. Hey, pick me, pick me, pick me.
You there, little lady. Yes.
Who's like a 1987 Toyota Turcell? That's me!

See.

The car sings fix you on stage.

Hug, hug, hug. The only thing worse than going to a Cold Play concert is going to a Cold Play concert and they make a car sing.

Now I want like a fake Cold Play tour shirt, but it's all it's like a bunch of cars with microphones. People are like, is that Coldplay? All right.
Hey. All right, two more riddles.

No, no, we got to go. We got to go, Eric.
We have to take a little break. Yeah, sorry, Aaron.
No riddles. only break

Eric looks so disappointed. I'll break I'll break no gas

All right, we'll be right back after this brief Hong Kong Honk

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace Excuse me, you two travelers I'm from a different time and I need to know how things work in this time.

What's my hair color in 2028? What's my hair color in 2029? What's my hair color in 2029? Oh, I'm from the past.

Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah.
Oh, hey, look, we don't really have time for whatever this scam is, so could you just tell us how much money you need and we'll kind of be on our way? 500 bucks.

Okay, well, hey, 500 bucks. If you have that kind of money, Squarespace, well, hold on.
Wait.

How do I tie this in? How do I tie this in? I won't.

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street con man, maybe if you had a Squarespace website, you wouldn't have to approach people on the street.

Oh, yeah, I could just do like a video of this because Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Oh, that'd be so much easier.

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Did you know most of those words, guy from the past? Yeah, we have words in the past. Also, my name is just Jeff and I'm from now.
Okay, guy from the past.

I have a great, looks like the domain, www.guyfromthepast who needs $500.com is still available. Now, here's the thing.
Yes! I know that when we mention stuff in ads, people buy the websites.

Guys, if you want to, just make sure you head to squarespace.com/slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using coupon code RIDDLE. I love our listeners.
That's insane.

Wait, don't listen to that guy. I'm actually from the past and need that website.
Okay, so it's going to be a bidding war on that fake website. What is a website? There we go.

Five, four, three, two, one. Countdown over.
It's the holiday season. Time to buy gifts.
I'm so excited. I'm going to decorate.
I'm I'm going to buy gifts. Aaron, Aaron, slow down.

You sound and look stressed, but Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high-quality finds you won't see anywhere else. Now, Aaron, how does that make you feel?

Oh, I feel way better. Yeah.

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That is die-hard fans and football fans.

I'm not sure if you'll find stuff from the major motion picture in Die Hard, but you you can look. And Miss Keith, can I tell you last year, my parents got me common goods?

I got like a bag of flour and a brick.

Well, that's no fun. No, I want uncommon goods.
That won't do. You know what? If you're like me, buy some Christmas ornaments.
Get some Christmas candles.

Get some stuff for Christmas and put it in your house. Hey, whatever you do, don't wait.
Cross those names off your list before the rush.

To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommon goods.com slash Riddle. That's That's uncommon goods.com/slash riddle for 15% off uncommon goods.
We're all out of the ordinary.

But don't take it from them. Take it from me, Cousin Kringle.

That's fun. That's fun.
Probably should have done it at the beginning, though, right? Huh? Stay on that side of the street. Oh.
Stay over there. Do you need me to start the ad? No, stay.

Everybody say thank you, Miss Erin.

I thanked you guys in the other ones.

Not getting thanked. Oops.
Uh-oh, here we go.

Add a little JPC. I need to get a last-minute gift for my parents.
Forgot to get them something. Maybe something sentimental that they can use around the house.
Panicing, panicking. Baby, calm down.

You got an ace up your sleeve, baby. So many cards up my sleeve.
The best gift you can get a parent, or really anyone in your life, is an aura frame. Have you heard of this? You've seen this?

Okay, I'm already feeling a little calm. You came to the right place, Aaron.
That's why they call me Mr. Last Minute.
It's not because I'm the last thing that you see before you die.

I don't know who started that rumor. It's not true.
You see a bunch of cool stuff and it's your life and I don't take you or usher you off. What are we talking about? We're talking about aura frames.

You can upload unlimited photos and videos, just download the Aura app and connect to Wi-Fi. Plus, you can preload photos before it ships.

So you can send photos from anywhere, anytime to the aura frame that you give as a gift. And Aaron, here's something parents go nuts for.
You can share photos and videos effortlessly.

So if Gemma and I go on a fun trip, I upload some of those pics to my mom's frame. She's going nuts.
She's loving it. She feels like she's engaged with my life.
Okay, awesome.

And also, they have a gift box included. So, every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag.
Oh, thank goodness. Oh,

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And Aaron, as just a placeholder, we're going to get like an actual like rapper musician and great because that whole character is very confusing. The grim rapper, Mr.

Last Minute, what's not there to get? Mr. Last Minute is so funny.

My name is Cyborg Monday, and I am feeling very tired. I need a place to rest my weary head.

Oh,

probably cyborg spelled S-I-G-H, don't you think, JPC? Yeah.

See?

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Ooh, calculating.

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I am the one that did the silly voice this time. Can you believe it? A beep boop bop.
We just met you. Ebe poop.

Hey, Adel. Hey, Aaron.
We're back from break. I thought that you guys might want a little refresher.
I got you some of these drinks. They're half beer, half lemonade.
So kind of like a refreshing,

refreshing drink. Oh, like a summer shandy? Yeah, open it up, and

there's no trick to it either. It's liquid in here, even if it doesn't feel like liquid.
Feels not like liquid. Pretty heavy.
It feels like it's maybe like

182.

Oh, like 182 pounds. That's like one human man.
Hold on.

Aaron, much better guess. I wanted to think, yes, very smart to be non-specific.
I wanted to buy Shandy and I looks like I bought Sandy. Hey, guys.
We're drinking summer Sandy Sandy. 182.

This Zoom camera is doing me a lot of favors.

Yeah, maybe 182 just beard. Look at that thing.

A lot of beer.

This beard.

It's pretty majestic. Yeah, it's really nice.
You know, I remember being on holiday. I don't remember exactly where, long time ago, and I saw my name on the menu at a bar.

And I was like, what the heck? Am I a drink now? But it was. It was a shandy, but they spelled it Sandy.
Oh. In some parts of the world, I think.
They say Sandy.

Well, they also make, I know like Linekugel does a summer shandy and also a berry weiss.

And you do a little portmanteau that's a Sandy Weiss.

Sandy Weiss. Adel, you're feeling sharp this morning.
You're sort of on top of it.

Well, Sandy, we can't really really bullshit around with you all day about beer and your name and stuff because I heard a little birdie told me, Turdy. Turdy.
Turdy. Turdy.

Everyone jumps on turdy birds.

Look at the man who messed up. Daddy.
Daddy.

It was a little turdy, and actually, it's problematic of you to call him out and be a little dird.

That you got some riddles and puzzles and stuff for us. Oh, yeah,

that's what I'm here for.

It's very astute of you to notice that every time I'm here, I'm peppering you with questions and, and you seem to invite me back.

So I'd like to take credit for it, but it has to go to the little turdy. Oh, God.

The little turdy told you.

Okay. Yeah.
I have a, I have some riddles for you today, and I hope this doesn't scare you all away too much.

But I think in the history of doing these sandboxes, we have not come close to doing one that was about sports. But since it's the middle of March, I think.

All right, Sandy, that is all the time we have.

Thank you so much. Don't worry.
This wouldn't be good for me either. However, I will say you need to know just the names of professional sports teams, just their names, not even athletes.

All right, Sandy, and thanks for coming on. Anything to plug or promote before?

You've heard of sports. Yes? I've heard of sports.
Aaron, how confident do you feel? I'm leaning back in my chair, scrolling through my phone, completely checked out, knowing I will not be helpful.

You will be fine. So this is a game about sports teams, North American professional sports teams.

I'm only doing the big leagues, football, baseball, basketball, men's and women's hockey, and then I think I have one soccer team.

I am skipping your more niche sports, like pro-Ultimate Frisbee names, pro rodeo team names.

I know you guys are probably sad to hear that I'm be skipping those, but I feel like those are not as well known. Um, Sandy, not to, I don't want to nitpick, but it's called Prodeo.

As a member of the Proteo, it's not called pro rodeo yeah and you i you being from

careful downstate downstate illinois is that is uh safe to say whoa central illinois

see there is not a downstate illinois there's not a rodeo team from illinois but the missouri has a the missouri has the thunder florida has the freedom the florida freedom rodeo team anyway we won't be talking about those uh we will be talking about each other

What does a rodeo team play? Like, don't they, they're just trying to beat their top score? It doesn't matter. We can't get into this.
This is going to be the whole episode.

I hope that this one team acts like the bulls. Yes.
And runs around and the other team has to rope them. I don't know, though.
I have been to a rodeo and it was my first rodeo.

And I asked a lot of questions

appropriately. I've also been to one rodeo, so I can say if I ever go to a second rodeo, that it's not my first rodeo.
Yeah, that's my first rodeo.

So for this game, I'm going to be asking you a question about a different kind of competition.

And you have to tell me which two professional sports teams would be the best at competing in that competition. But you just have to think about their names laterally.

For almost all of these, I think they are two teams from different sports. I'll tell you if that's not the case.
And if you guys get stuck, I'll give you clues like what sports they play.

So for example. Okay.
Yeah, go ahead. I was going to ask if any of these answers are defunct hockey teams, because Adel is going to have the absolute edge.
Oh, that hat, right?

Is that your Nordique's, right? The Nordiques, baby. Nordiques.
No, I didn't look up that list, nor it will be defunct or former baseball teams, of which there was a lot of those. Okay, only currents.

Only currents.

The Oklahoma City

bombings.

Oh, God.

Defunct, Aaron. Defoe.

They have a team. They have a team.
I'm not going to tell you what it is because it might come up. But yeah, the Oklahoma City's in here.
Anyway, so an example.

If I said which two professional North American sports teams might compete compete in a Pokemon competition, or you could say American politics, you'd say the Cincinnati Reds and the St.

Louis Blues, because Pokemon Red and Blue is a poke is a game, and reds and blues, right? So we're looking for two complementary

team names. Yep.
So if I said which two teams would be good at a competition for spellcasting, ooh, the Washington Wizards

would be one.

And

New Orleans

witches.

I'm going to look up if there is any witches. There should be.
So, yeah, the Wizards is a bass. It's basketball, correct, Adol.

Okay. Yeah.
And then the other one is also basketball. This is one where the two play the same.
Oh, they were Orlando Magic. Magic.

Yes.

I thought of magic, but then I was like, oh, you said there wouldn't be. Yeah, this is my.
And then I used this as my first example. Okay.
Well, sorry about that.

How about a meteorology? A competition about

meteorology. There's three, actually.
Okay. So we have

to be the Portland Clouds. The Thunder is one.

The Portland Clouds is so much better than the Trailblazers. Just an emo basketball team.
Is there a hurricanes? There has to be a hurricanes in Florida, right? There is. Oh, yeah.

There's a hurricanes. That's a fourth one that I didn't think of.
Yes. Lightning.
Lightning is one. Tampa Bay.
Tampa Bay.

And then there's a women's basketball team.

The sky.

Is Indiana fever? Is fever something we can forecast? Yeah.

No.

Okay. It has to do with temperature, though.
It is the Women's National Basketball Association team in Seattle. It is the storm.
Good job. Wow.

Which two teams would be good at a competition for leading mass?

Oh,

the Boston Priests, obviously.

Oh, the Atlanta.

Get your shirt on. We're going to church.
Who would lead a mass?

They would have my full support. I would buy every piece of murder from them.
The mascot is just a mom dragging a kid by their arm. Yeah.

I'm, I'm, I'm, we're making that merch. I'm so sorry.
I'm the only one who's going to buy it, and I know that, but we're making it.

Uh, Popes, is there a Pope's? No, that would be insane. The Vatican City Popes.

But I did say only North American teams. Yeah.
Reverend. So leave.
I'll give you a hint. One of these teams is actually in two different cities in two different leagues.
It's the same

team name. Giants?

Well, no.

But that might be true, what Adel said. Can you read it again? Leading mass, like a Catholic Mass.
Like a Catholic Mass. Preacher.

Bishop. Bishop? Bishop.
A Cardinal.

Cardinal. Saint Louis Cardinals.
Cardinals. Or Arizona Cardinals, correct.
And then we're looking for a baseball team. Baseball team.
Mass. It's got to be like another bird that has like a

church name.

No, it's not. Oh, it's not a bad thing.

It quite literally means a religious leader. Whoa.
Oh. Okay.
Ugh, God.

Deity.

The Fort Lauderdale cult leaders. Jake West Coast.
Baseball on the West Coast.

Padres is high. Padres.

Yes. Forgive me, Padre, for I have sinned.

I struck that man out.

How about competing in Relaxing in a Jacuzzi? A competition that I would excel at.

The Minneapolis Cold Sores.

Cold sores? Jesus Christ.

What? The North Carolina HPVs. Hey, Sandy, maybe you won't be relaxing so much in the jacuzzi next time when you know about all the cold sores and HPVs in there.

We put a lot of chlorine and the fever.

No.

Relaxing in a. Yeah, I guess if you're staying in it too long.
Oh, the Jets. The Jets wants.
New York Jets. And then basketball.
The San Francisco Bubbles.

Hold on.

You're starting lineup for the San Francisco Bubbles. And they're gone.
Hell, they're gone. Help, coach, help, coach.

Oh, gosh. Crunch, crunch, crunch.
I'm going to look up professional sports teams for Blowing Bubbles. See if there are any.
Anyway, it's not Jets. It is Jets, but there's one more.
Okay.

Can you tell us what sport? It's basketball. Basketball.
East Coast basketball. The heat.
Miami. The heat.
The heat, of course. Heat and Jets, yeah.

What about a competition for who can pay the check the fastest?

Whoa, the Chargers. Oh, that's not what I was thinking about.
That's a good one. San Diego Chargers.

Kansas City first dates.

Washington State father-in-laws.

Washington state father-in-laws.

A state has one.

Not even a bad one. I gotta tell you,

I did a project

for some minor league baseball teams recently, and the names that they have on the minor leagues leagues of baseball are so good. Yeah, incredible.
They're incredible. They're incredible.

There's, um, my favorite is the dash. I'm going to see.
It is from Winston-Salem. The Winston-Salem Dash.
And they're called The Dash because they have a Dash in their name. Winston-Dash-Salem.
Okay.

Also, Dash is speedy. There's Spartanburg, the Spartanburg Spartanburgers.
What's the one that's the biscuit? Oh, Montgomery? It's like, yeah, Montgomery biscuits, I think.

It's like a buttered biscuit is the mascot, and it's amazing. I love that so much because

they're so like regional with those mascots. Yes.
And one of the things that I thought was always a bummer, I played Little League for like two years. I was not good.

Or maybe I played longer and I was not good. But I remember vividly.
And you were like 25, right? Yeah, I was like, I was like, I played a little bit of League of Legends.

Yeah, I was playing League of Legends, but all the names of the Little League teams were like the Pirates and the,

you know, they were just like professional baseball teams. And I was like, we can't have fun here and like come up with some like freaky, you know, like biscuits and stuff like that.

Like, that, yeah, I was, you could see where my head was at with playing baseball and how I didn't do very well at it. Do you know what the Albuquerque minor league team is?

No, fuck, I used to know all of these. So they're called the isotopes because there's, you know, a lot of nuclear science going on down in New Mexico.

But my question is, did it come before or after the Simpsons?

Probably after. It's probably a Mighty Duck situation.
Interesting. Maybe.
Yeah, yeah. A Mighty Duck situation.
What are we doing right now?

Sandy, for the other team that's trying to pay the bill, I'm going to say the Santa Fe. Sweetie, could you run that again?

Declined. Can you run it again?

The Dallas. Excuse me.

Dallas.

Honestly, Aaron, that's so apropos of Dallas, too. Oh, yeah.
Sorry, Dallas. The Toronto, this will all be one bill, and just bring it to me.

The Portland, can you split the check six ways?

Be Indianapolis. Guys, why don't we all just Venmo me?

We're looking for a word. We're looking for a word that means check and another word that means what you used to pay the check.
Buffalo Bills. Bills and the Buffalo Bills.
It puts

on the line. Bucks.
The books. Bucks.
Bills and Bucks.

How about the team that competes at working with Groot and Drax? There's three here. This would be Guardians.
The Guardians. Guardians.
And the the Guardians. Cleveland Guardians.
And the Galaxy.

There's one more. Soccer.
Yeah. LA Galaxy.
Is it the Angels?

It is basketball. It is someone specifically in that team of the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Oh, the Mantises.

That's a good name, though, for a team. Yeah.
Because Chris Pratt's the Houston Rockets Raccoons. That is right.
Rocket Raccoons. Wow.

All right. How about scaring Dorothy? This is the one duo that is from the same city.
Is there a flying monkeys? Monkeys team? Lions and monkeys and bears. Lions and Detroit Tigers.
Detroit Lions.

Detroit Lions, Detroit Tigers. That's a good one.
How about impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger?

The governors?

The Milwaukee Albibox. Well, there is a Senators.
I was going to say, I thought that that was

Capital Senators.

Doing the best team.

Barbarians. Is there a barbarians? That would be a dope name for a team.
Yeah, you're getting closer. Okay, the San Diego Kindergarten Cups.

Yeah, just work through it. Jacksonville Jingle all the ways.

Okay, these are going to be Schwarzenegger movies.

Oh, the Twins. Twin City.

That's right. Yeah, Minnesota.
Okay.

And there's two more, actually. One is dead on, one is a little bit of a

generous.

Okay, Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

True Lies. Running Man.

That's a dance. Liars.
One of his big early movies.

Terminator?

Fort Worth, Terminator 2 Judgment Days.

This is a hockey team.

Hockey team. Okay.
Middle of the country. I guess.

Basically out on this if it's not the Blackhawks. Well, you can go about it from one direction, two directions, either the name of the movie or the name of the movie.
Oh, The Nashville Predators.

The Nashville Predators.

And there's also the Commanders. He was in Commando.

Oh, yeah, I guess.

Predators?

That's not a good name, right?

Well, I know. Their mascot is

a saber-toothed tiger. The Nashville Groomers.
Yeah, right?

I mean, there's a lot of

sports team names that are not good for a lot of reasons, but Predators just seem like

that's not good. Pretty much on their website, and they call themselves the Preds, and that doesn't seem like an improvement.

I've heard people call them the Preds, and I'm like, I guess that's better than saying Predator, but if we have to shorten it, we all know what it's short for. That's right.

Okay, let's stick with movies. How about impersonating boxers?

Impersonating boxers,

the Briefs,

St. Louis Michael B.
Jordans,

Creed, The Creeds? No.

Boy. This is really paranoid.
The Rockies? It's the Rockies. Rockies.
Rockies. Yeah, Rockies is something.

I've gotten like three of these without knowing what the fuck the team is. There you go.
Is it the Denver Rockies?

Colorado Rockies. Okay.

That makes more sense.

This is another big boxing movie from early 80s. Oh, the New York, Did You Fuck My Wife's?

Raging Bull.

I mean, it's Chicago Bulls. Chicago Bulls.

The Raging Chicago Bulls. Did you fuck my wives?

How about road rallying on the U.S. interstate system?

Road rallying?

Yeah, I'm just trying to think of what they would do on there. But the interstate is the key concept here.
This feels Indianapolis-coated to me. Trucks, cars,

lanes.

Highways.

Oh, would it be Chicago Sky because of the skyway?

Wow, that's something. No, okay.
That was all I had. That could be air travel.
Well,

save that one for later. Something unique about the interstate system, trucks.

I'd say it's unique, but it's like canonical.

One's basketball, one's football. I don't think that helps.
Yes, interstate is the key here. Interstate commerce.
I mean, there's the tar heels, but that's college. And roads are made of tar.

Roads are made of tar. Think about how you refer to these interstates.

um

like by their name like uh what you call it the daily you call it i-74 the i-74

that's right

so i would say it this might not help but for some of the listeners it might think about most of southern pennsylvania into ohio and think about maybe louisiana and

Arkansas and Missouri. Yeah, it didn't help me at all.
I don't know what's going on. Louisiana, Arkansas.
It's just the shakes.

I just love my

well, yes, you said it.

You refer to them by how. Some of them have names, but they all have.
Parents. Numbers.
Numbers. Numbers.
They have numbers. Adopt a highway.
They all have numbers. 76ers.
There you go. Oh, 49ers.

49ers.

Yes.

76 goes through Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and then into Ohio. And I guess 49 goes up Louisiana.
Aaron, how many trombones were there in the big parade?

76, sirs.

Is that why they're named the 76? Yeah, 76, sir.

76, sir.

How about a couple more? How about this will be a groner

making beer?

The brewers. Brewers.
Brewers is literally about making beer, so good.

There's

another team named that's very close to it. And then there's a little special treat I have for you.
Yees. The Bruins.

The Bruins. There you go.
You got it. And then it turns out that in the Ultimate Frisbee League, there is a team called the Growlers.

And Aaron, you said yeast. I didn't say anything.

I haven't said anything for the last 20 minutes. Perhaps you're going to mute me for this whole game.
I think.

In Casey, we can mute me.

All right, last one. Reenacting the myth of Icarus.

Sun. The Suns, Phoenix Suns, Suns, Phoenix Suns.

The wings. Wings? The wax.

What happens to those wings when they catch on fire? The birds.

The heat. Your heat.
Fire.

Wings is there, but you got to tell me something more about them.

Oh, my God. Red wings.
Red wings.

Red wings.

Red wings. Hot wings.
And Aaron, did you say hot wings? No, I was muted this whole game.

I hate this.

I hate this. Now, real quick.
You should not get a soundboard of me if I don't get a soundboard of you. Real quick.
Aaron. Yes.

I think it was Aaron. Did you just come up with the best name for a Hot Wings store, which is Icarus Hot Wings? That's pretty good.
I wasn't muted. That is my idea, and I will be taking all the money.

I would like to invest. All right.
Hey, speaking of ideas, Sandy, you recently came up with an idea and then implemented it in a way.

Would you like to tell people about your, I won't say new, but I'll say your game, your newest game, probably? Well, why don't you say new? It's pretty new.

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I had it days ago.

Oh, I see. Things move fast in the world of

right. No, it's pretty new.
I launched it about a month ago. It's a new game,

daily word game that I made called Rattle, R-A-D-D-L-E,

which, like the name,

it's a transformation of the word ladder because it is a word ladder type game. So you go to rattle.quest and you'll see how it works.

It's like, it's a word ladder, but instead of changing a letter every step, you're changing the words into new words using the clues that I give you. Now, Sandy, I played Rattle.
Yep.

And at first, I was very frustrated because Rattle led me to believe that it was about Addle being Rad. So I entered myself for every answer, and that was apparently incorrect.

But then once I started playing it the correct way, it was amazing. So thank you.
Great job, but I wish you would have been more clear. It wasn't about me.
Yeah.

Is Rattle what do you tried to get everyone to call you in middle school? Yeah, I was like, Rad Rattaddle. I was like, everyone's saying rattle.
Yeah.

Sandy, I played Rattle and I've played for three days in a row now. And I technically I've played four games because I went back and played a game that you can go backwards and play previous games.

And they're all, you're like writing each one of these, right? They're all like

straight from your dome. Now, if for per se, someone on the day that we're recording this got 100% and they didn't use any clues and they just got all the answers right the very first time.

They'd be be rattle. They would be rattle, right? And it's fair, it's fair to say that we could just say that that person.

Actually, it says on the game, it says that I'm so good, I'm battle. Um, but I get, I think I'm also rattle.
You're, yeah, you're rattle. You're rattler than, you're rattler than at all.

Yes, that's all you wanted.

So please do check that out: rattle.quest. It's, it is very fun, and you can get notified when the new game comes in every day.
Yeah, that's right. You can sign up for the email list.

Um, and then I have a newsletter still, signals.fun, and uh, that's most of what I'm doing these days.

Now, Sandy,

I don't know if you know this, but there is a professional origami team in the Midwest. Aaron, you may, you told me about this, and it's called the

Aaron, just like a name of a city and then like a goodbye or something.

Well, here's what I'll give it to you. Do you know what they, there is a sports team in Sandy, Utah.
Did you know that?

And Aaron, they're called the Sandy, Utah Bye-byes.

Just say like a, like, like, what's your name? I've been muted this whole game, Adel. I cannot help you today.
Bye, Sandy. Bye, Sandy.
Bye, Sandy.

Wow. Always so good to see Sandy, huh? Yeah.
Amen.

Although, speaking of optometrists, it wouldn't be good to see Sandy. You know what I'm saying? Oh, like

vision-wise.

Okay. Yeah.
Okay. So I guess it wasn't very good to see him.

What do we got to plug? Aaron, what is going on in your life?

Follow Quality Time. It is a show that I host in Los Angeles.
It's a true variety show.

For our March show, we had a magician and we had someone do a really sweet, funny PowerPoint and we had Irish music and it was so fun and I'm so proud of the show. So check it out.

It's truly a variety every month.

And come hang out. Adult, anything to plug? Whoa, Whoa, very cool.
Aaron, when is Quality Times? When is that?

It is, it's a different time every month. So if you follow us on social media, you'll be sure to be able to catch one.

Very cool. I will say, just not to be,

you know, I don't want to throw a wrench in the gears, but JPC and I have a show called Koality Time where we both dress up like koalas. We eat eucalyptus and we have HPV.
I hate you.

And that's at the exact time as Aaron's show. So I guess you'll have to choose, but

look for posters soon. Aaron,

not sure if you want to amend your plug. Otherwise, we'll have JPC read like a review or something.
I want to plug Finding New Friends. Oh, I love that podcast.
Okay.

This is a five-star review. If you want to get a five-star review featured on the show,

please write a review. Leave it somewhere.
We might read it. Today's comes to us from GAF875.
It's a five-star review. It says three stars.
It's okay.

And honestly, yeah, that's pretty good. Why not?

As long as you leave the five. Don't forget when you do this bit, guys, it has to be a five-star review.
Don't leave a three-star review that says five stars. That is not a good bit.

Hey, and then one other thing that I want to plug. You know, this is the last episode of March, which means next month on our Patreon, patreon.com slash Haven of Rital.
It is. April of the Penguins.

That's right. The Penguins, you know, and love are back.
It's Penguin Baseball all month long on the Patreon, including some new merch.

So also check out our TeePublic store April 1st for the new merch drops. Penguin Baseball Forever, baby.
Penguin Baseball 2025. Flock you.

I assume. I assume.
I assume it's something like that. I assume it's something like that.

Well,

Jupiter.

Starring Aaron Keenan

and John Patrick Cohen.

Casey Tony did the editing.

And Hardy Parris in the music.

Boogo created by M.O.E. Cardamis and Emmoen Morris.

Nobody said it was easy.

We now surrend to part.

I will say Rush of Blood to the Head absolutely found me during a time of need and was a wonderful record for about a year and a half. And then

I could not stand cold blood. I mean,

they're not all bad.

I used to rule the world.

Jesus rises when I gave the world. I remember that I was leave alone.

Feel the streets I used to roam.

Boom, boom, boom. Casey, cut that, put that postcard at.

I used to roll

the dies.

Feel the fear in my enemies. I

listen on the curl would sing. I remember mentioning in my favorite things that I almost put on my list, singing or putting on a song and pretending that you don't like it.
Oh, yeah.

Just because you want to hear it. I don't know what you're talking about.
Now the old king is dead, along with the king.

I hell.

The king. Are we saying Casey? Karen Truly does all the work.

Is that something called Colors, maybe?

Pillars of salt and pillars of Zaya. Aaron, is that called Colors? What's that song called? That's Viva La Vida.
Viva La Vida, baby. I openly admit I still love that song.
That's embarrassing.

Who would know all the words to that song, Casey? That's so embarrassing for you, Casey.

Hey there, Helens and Jaspers. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.
With special guest Elizabeth Andrews, we go to Chuck E. Cheese.

You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com/slash Hayward Oridal by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month.

Plus, you get those ad-free episodes. See you there.

That was a head gun podcast.