Patreon Preview #341: Erin on the Side of Tea

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Pip, Pip, Cheerio! Good afternoon, darlings. It's your host, Aaron.

After getting three strikes with the FCC, Aaron on the side of has moved across the pond. But don't fret, kittens, all your favorite things have come with me and the show is still there.

We just found a brand new time slot. So settle in, dust off your fascinators, clutch your pearls, and prepare your best, oh I say.

The kettle is on, the scones are buttered, and we are about to cozy up with Aaron on the side of tea.

Welcome to the first ever episode of Aaron on the Side of Tea. We decide to air on the side of going full British with this show.

You might be a fan of Aaron on the Side of Coffee, my morning show, or Aaron on the Side of Wine, my late-night talk show. But right now, we're smack dab in the middle of the afternoon, 3 p.m.

British time, to be exact.

British,

you get what I'm trying to say. I'm your host, Aaron, and let's get off to the races.

As always, I'm here with my band leader, Archibald Babadook. Archibald, how are you doing this afternoon?

Quite well. Thank you, Erin.

Archibald, I had a band leader, Kyle, back in the States,

and he was a lazy bag of bones. Oh, dear.

So I'm really excited to upgrade to such a fancy

musician. You're wearing like a white tux with

the tails.

What instrument do you play?

I play the Magovophone.

Oh, is that that huge contraption you're sitting at? Yes, what you do is you put three strings on a dog, put it under a magnet, and then you have...

three horns in opposite directions sort of blaring out the barks. It's a living.

Oh, is that the dog?

Yes, we taught one of them to speak, and it's been a problem, a real problem.

Wow, well, dealer's choice, I would love to hear you play your favorite song to play.

Yes, why don't we play

the kinks Lola

whenever you're ready? Just a nice standard.

Dogs, are you ready?

It's just one dog, right?

Yes, that was a tale. It looks like the rest of the machine is made out of dog parts, though, right?

Like one living dog. Yes.
What the rug?

Here we go. And the one and the two.

Kill me.

Kill me.

I

am.

Most of a dog.

Come back to us. Come back to us.
Oh, of course. We're not ready.
We're not ready.

I'll come back to you in a little bit. And then also, joining us today, my sidekick, as always, my butler, Wensley Brassington.
Wensley?

Hello, Aaron. It's me.

I'm sorry.

The name that I'm supposed to go by is.

Wensley Brassington. Wensley Brassington.
And that's JPC. Please just fucking care.
Okay. You said.

I just wanted to make sure that everything that i'm doing is part of the court order okay but it is it is part of the court order because you also the judgment of the court order is for you to not in the court order excuse me excuse me

excuse me hold on court order hold on

i'm watching a video on my phone stop you well you called me midway through the video

i didn't come watching here's the top 10 worst groin injuries in nfl history gpc i fucking i hate ads hold on hold on i have to watch an ad number 10. what's that an ad for it's groin injuries.

Yeah, and it's NFL groin injuries too. Ugh.

I think that they'd have way worse injuries in the NFL than groin specifically. TBC, part of the court order.

The judge said that you had to make it seem like you were here because of friendship, not because you broke the law. Okay.
You're not even supposed to bring up the court order.

You're supposed to make it seem like you were supporting me as a friend. You flew across the country or you flew across the Atlantic Ocean as a friend.
And now you're here as a friend. Okay.

I'm here as a friend. Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
And yeah, you had to to be handcuffed on the plane, right? Yeah, of course. And yeah, you made a huge scene because they didn't give you two desserts.

Everyone else got one. Why shouldn't I get two? I'm more special.
It doesn't make any sense. What does it fine? Hey, I'm here.
You are winning. Do I have to do a voice?

Did the judge say Winsley Billington or did the judge say I have to do a voice? Wensley Brassington.

Sorry, I'm the solicitor on set here.

What the fuck? Let's just use this guy. No,

I'm the solicitor representing the judge in his verdict.

You do. Wait, do you have to wear a powdered wig? Do people who work for judges have to wear powdered wigs, too? What do you mean, powdered wigs? Never mind.
Yikes.

Yikes. Judge Reinhold.

Assistant has to wear a powdered wig. That would be fucking awful.

It's funny. I'm always thinking about it this time of year, but I'm not as young as I once was.

But I care a lot about maintaining my physical and mental wellness, which means cornbread hemps, CBD gummies are a huge piece of my wellness plan.

It's so funny, I have no idea why it gets to be this time of year, and I'm thinking about how I'm not as young as I once was. Oh, same girl saying, but also, JPC, your birthday's in December.

Okay, that makes sense. Well, JPC,

someone left something under the tree

called cornbread hemp CBD gummies. Have you heard of these? You've seen these? Uh-huh, yes, I have.
They're made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort,

the encroaching clock of aging, or relaxation. Relaxation.
I use cornbread hemp CBD and GPC. Let me just say, toss one in my mouth, I chew it, swallow it, and suddenly

I'm at peace. And I'm old as hell.
All products are third-party lab tested in USDA organic to ensure safety and purity. So you can relax, relax.

Okay, you guys might be onto something with this cornbread hemp CBD. Gummy.
John Travolta? John Travolta. CBD?

That's awesome. And right now, hey, Riddle Riddle listeners can save 30% on their first order.
Just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash riddle and use code riddle at checkout.

That's cornbreadhemp.com slash riddle and use code riddle. Ah, age is nothing but a number.
A number of years I've been on earth. Years are also nothing but physical manifestations of time passing.

Hmm.

I feel okay. I feel okay.

Aaron Adle, can I share a real life story brought to you by the fine folks at Quince?

I don't allow it.

So it's Thanksgiving. We do a thing every year where we go to a friend's giving at a friend's house.
My wife is dressed. My child is dressed.

My wife says, I say, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower. I come downstairs and my wife says, you are not wearing that to Thanksgiving.
And I say, well, I thought.

I thought I was going to wear this. And she said, no, you go upstairs and change it.
You change it to something nice. And I went upstairs and I went into my closet.

And what did I find but my Quince long sleeve Henley. And I said, this actually looks pretty nice.

And I think that if I wear this downstairs, my wife will shake her head yes and say that's something we could leave the house in. And guess what? It happened.

Ooh, but I'm sure that was like so expensive. That sounds pretty luxe.
No, Aaron, it was affordable. It was downright affordable.
Because Quince makes the essentials every guy needs.

I'm talking Mongolian cashmere sweaters for $50, Italian wool coats that look and feel designer and denim and chinos that fit just right. Oh, and don't get me started on their outerwear lineup.

It's no joke. They have down jackets, wool topcoats, leather styles.
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Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I love Quince.
I particularly love their home line.

Incredible sheets, glassware, rugs. Don't get me started on their rugs.

So guys, stop getting sent back upstairs by your wife to change because what you picked out is not something that you should even own anymore. It actually should go to the dump.

Feels like a you thing. And not the dump where they just bury it, the dump where they burn it.

Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with quince. Don't wait.
Go to quince.com/slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

That's q-u-i-n-ce-e.com/slash riddle. Free shipping and 365-day returns.
Quince.com/slash riddle. What were you wearing when you came downstairs? Full turkey costume.
Knew it.

Sorry, you were saying?

The judge insists that you must attempt a voice.

You don't have to nail it, but attempting one is what his verdict was. So I'll try this again.
Here is my butler, Wensley Brassington. Prem improper, prem and proper.
Ma'am,

what could I do for you? Stop watching the groin videos.

It's not that.

I'm trying to get to my

they used to have skip a button that would let you skip the ads, but they took the button away. What video are you even trying to watch? It's a groin injury ice skating video.
Oh my god.

Thank you, Wensley. I will take an Earl Gray tea with a little bit of milk and one sugar, please.
The fuck is that? How the fuck? How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Don't make me tea.

It's Aaron on the side of tea. Okay.
Take Aaron on the side of tea.

It's easy. It's tea.
What do you mean you'll figure it out? I guess I'll figure it out. I don't know what more you could want from me.

It can't be any more complicated than your dumb little espresso that you drink while we're recording. Sorry to potentially.

A lot of UK residents find side of tea a little grating on the ears.

Erin with a spot of tea might be a little more conducive to.

Yeah, but then the title doesn't make any sense anymore. Okay, you're the American.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fix your hair. Why is there so much powder in your hair? It doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Erin, I hate to cut in, but I'm here in the field and I'm waiting for my segment. It's Nathan Brass here with the Brass Report.
Ah, Nathan with the Brass Report.

We're going to go to Nathan in the field with the Brass Report. Nathan, what is it? What is it like out there? Well, it's a bell tower.

I'm in another one of England's mini bell towers, and this one, the bells are brass.

Right, so we have a guy who goes out in the field to find things that are made of brass. Bells.

Bells specifically that are made of brass. Yes.
Bells that are made of brass. And my name's Nathan.
Nathan, what

brass? Nathan, brass.

What is... How big is that bell? I'm getting married this weekend.
That's not what I asked.

Ask me her name. No, I want to know how big the bell is.
Erin, ask me her name. How big is the bell? Jennifer Bells.

Are you just with her because of her name? No.

How big is the bell? Ask me if we're going to hyphenate our names when we get married, Erin.

Is it gonna be Nathan Brass Bells? You do Belles brass.

Fuck.

Ah, shit.

That would flow so much better. Fuck.

How big is the bell, Nathan? I don't know. I don't have a tape measure.
Okay, well, we're gonna come back to you in a minute. Well, how are we gonna get a tape measure up here at the bell towers?

No way I'm gonna get a tape measure in a minute.

In the meantime, we're going to Nigel Puttyfoot with the weather. Nigel, you are out there with with an all-weather umbrella.
Tell us a little bit what we can expect from the weather today, Nigel.

Well, it is coming down pretty hard and sideways is what I can glean from being outside at the moment. The all-weather umbrella is doing nothing.
I am soaked tip to tank.

A lot of the cabs seem to be going up to the curb into the puddles to seemingly splash me on purpose.

A lot of people seem to be taking shelter under awnings of shops and stores.

It's rain. I mean, I don't know what else it's rain.
I know, and Nigel, you do get a little sour when we go to you for weather because it's the same thing every day. It's just, I mean, it's rain.

I don't. I don't know why we allot three minutes for this.
It's rain. And, Nigel, how many inches of rain, sorry, millimeters of rain do you think we're gonna get today?

One, two, three, four, eight, riddle, Riddles Clue Crew.

Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com/slash hayriddle riddle.

Hi, I'm Nicole Bayer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda.
And this is the podcast, Best Friends.

And we're here at Edgum.

So this is just a podcast where we just talk. Yeah.
We're best friends. Yeah.
We talk, and then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries.

So, audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes.
We are professional friends. We are professional friends.

Subscribe to best friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday.
That's the middle of a work week.

I was deeply unhelpful to to you during that whole thing. You were.
I'm really sorry. I felt the support.
I was so okay. I was trying to be supportive.
Yeah.

But I was like, wow, no, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot.
I think you did good. Thank you so much.
You're welcome.