What a Weekday: A Good Walk Spoiled

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I ordered Levain cookies and I ordered, I was like, I'm going to a funeral.

I should bring something.

I should eat a bunch of cookies before I go.

And so I bought a box of cookies and I didn't realize that I thought I just said, oh, I'll

buy this box.

And I didn't realize it was like you could fit any number of cookies in the box so I thought I just clicked six because that was the minimum and then this fancy box of cookies comes and first of all it's in a beautiful blue tin with like people on the outside and I was like I don't think this is appropriate it's too celebratory to bring and then I opened it just gotta draw sad faces on yeah and then i opened the box cookies it's like so expensive for a box of cookies and because i had only ordered six it looked like i had eaten two and so it was like well now i can't bring this at all because there's nothing to be done like i there was no solution it's just like you can't i was like trying to more cookies, but it wasn't. And then you touched all of them then.
Well, they were in a little bag, but yes, to your point. And so I'm rearing, and I couldn't, so I just kept them.
And you're not a man. You're not a man who has a decorative plate in the home.
I do have a decorative plate in the home. You should have taken that and put them on the decorative plate.
Without what I'm going, calling this bereaved people in a couple of weeks and say, I'm coming back for my plate? Do I take the plate at the end of the day?

I can't bring on a paper plate.

It sounds like you just

self-sabotaged in a way

that made you eat six gigantic cookies, which also sounds great. I also had ordered a loaf of bread, so I brought that.
And I got to keep the cookies. In a way, maybe I'd always plan that.
Yeah. and we're back i'm john lovett i'm here with writers hallie and lazarus and producer kendra let's get into it what a weekday a suspect is facing gun charges following a foiled assassination attempt against Donald Trump at his West Palm Beach golf course on Sunday.

God isn't done with Donald Trump yet.

The server keeps coming back to the table and God keeps saying, I'm picking at it.

And Jimmy Carter, actually.

Still working on that, too.

But you can take James Earl Jones.

I'm done with James Earl Jones.

We done.

R.I.P.

R.I.P.

One of the best to ever do it.

Had some real interesting opinions about black women.

Oh.

Oh.

James Earl Jones.

Oh, I don't think she means interesting in a good way let's leave that let's leave that on mind 58 he's dead remember the sandlot love i love the sandlot my mom always was of the opinion that when they revealed dr vader it should have just been james real jones and i remember it could be like well that wouldn't make sense and now seeing all of the movies i'm like they could'm like, they could have read it out. No, they absolutely could have gotten out of that.
Yeah, there's no, he should have been, yeah. Yeah, when they went back, by the way, and they put Hayden Christensen's face in the face of Darth Vader when he removes the helmet.
Did they do? I believe so, yeah. Wow.
Isn't it, or no, no, they made him the ghost waving instead of. Well, he was a ghost.
He was a ghost Yeah. Anyway, it could have been James Earl Jones.
But yeah, like why would he be the ghost of that age when he died later? And he should have died James Earl Jones. Look, I think if love it or leave it, colon, what a weekday has ever been clear about anything.
No. We believe James Earl Jones as a state should sell the rights to Disney so that young James Earl Jones can be put into 1977 Star Wars.

I haven't seen Star Wars.

Oh, come on.

It's okay.

What do you mean you haven't seen Star Wars?

Can you imagine her sitting through Star Wars?

Yes.

She's very patient.

She's the only person in this room that has any kind of recognizable attention span.

I get a picture watching Star Wars.

I get a picture of Sarah Lazarus

just sitting down and reading Middlemarch.

So yeah, I think I can see her.

Yeah, of course.

Middlemarch.

Took all summer.

I don't want that for you.

FYI.

Star Wars?

Yeah.

There's too many now.

Don't start now.

It's over.

Sorry.

58-year-old Ryan Wesley Routh

was arrested after the Secret Service

noticed him with a rifle

within 500 yards of Trump while the former president was playing a round of golf and opened fire. Routh fled without firing a shot.
I hate to think what might have happened if Routh hadn't shouted, for... To have Routh and rifle in the same sentence, I'm going to give you this.
We stumbled a little. It's hard.
Ralph and rifle. Really inconvenient for you.
Ralph, the former roofing. Ralph, the former roofing.
Ralph, the former roofer with a rifle. Ralph, the former roofer with a rifle.
We broke him. Ralph, the former roofing contractor from North Carolina, had voted for Trump, donated to Tulsi Gabbard, Andrew Yang, Tom Steyer, Beto O'Rourke, and Elizabeth Warren, and tweeted to Nikki Haley urging her to join a Vivek Ramaswamy ticket.
Routh also had expressed support for President Biden. When a man on Hinge lists his political views as moderate, this is what he means.
I miss when would-be assassins had simple, clear motives that made sense, like, I love Jodie Foster. In an interview with the New York Times in 2023, Routh said he had traveled to Ukraine and wanted to recruit Afghan soldiers to join the fight.
One problem, Routh was in his mid-50s and had no military experience. I don't know we're all thinking this, but why the fuck was this guy interviewed by the New York Times in 2023? Well, he and his wife, an anthropology professor, had recently opened their marriage after she had met a museum docent named Annabeth at a friend's book launch.

No, that's not why. It was a piece about randos trying to fight in Ukraine,

even though they were unqualified and or nuts and or full of shit.

Ralph also appears to have been arrested in 2002 after barricading himself in a Greensboro,

North Carolina building with a fully automatic machine gun. And the ticket for that is $72, which doubles if it's your second offense.
So they take it pretty seriously. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said Florida would be conducting its own investigation into the foil plot.
Thanks, FBI. But these alligators with magnifying glasses will take it from here.
DeSantis cited the investigations into Trump as the reason. I look at the federal government with all due respect to them.
You know, those same agencies that are prosecuting Trump in that jurisdiction are now going to be investigating this. I just think that that may not be the best thing for this country.
I mean, what are these agencies supposed to do? Investigate two criminals at once? We haven't seen Ron DeSantis in a while. And I just forgot how charming he is and his great stage presence i let me just say whoever is advising him his hair color it's too harsh his hair color whoever's dying it they've got it's they've made too much of a decision it's too it's too harsh it needs more um not highlights but it needs more of the gray that we know some variety yeah this is we're going this is how trump's begins i mean it's like i gotta cover the gray It's like, no, no, you're starting to look cartoonish.
Yeah. But I guess that's what he wants anyways.
To be a cartoon of a man. Yeah, I just, you know, I don't think they have the best taste.
And I don't think they have access to the best talent when it comes to. Not like us.
Not like us. Like us, baby.

Not like us. When I look at some of what's going on with the looks.
Yeah, the looks on the right. There's just they're just they're not sending their best.
They're pressing the same button and the button's all fucked up. You know what I mean? Like it's all sticky when you touch it.
Republican lawmakers very quickly decided to blame Democrats with Florida Congressman Mike Wall saying this on Fox News. This rhetoric against President Trump, this narrative that he will be the next dictator, that he is the next Hitler coming, it has got to stop.
Enough is enough. And when you have this narrative coming from the left, from media, from elected officials even, that Trump has to be stopped by any means necessary.
It shouldn't surprise anyone that these people are being radicalized and taking action like this. Of course, the person most famous for saying Trump could be America's Hitler is J.D.
Vance. So take it up with that freak.
And of course, Democrats aren't saying to stop Trump by any means necessary. I've literally not heard a Democrat say that.
They are saying stop him by the one legal means available. That's it.
That's our plan. The one legal means available.
That's what we're all focused on. Donald Trump is a threat to democracy in part because he encourages political violence, which is a threat to democracy.
Our problem is not with even Donald Trump as a person. It is the threat that he poses, which is the same threat that any form of political violence poses.
It's a threat to democracy when some narcissistic wackadoo takes a shot at Donald Trump. And it's a threat to democracy when Donald Trump encourages the overthrow of the U.S.
Capitol. It's all part of the same big fucking threat to democracy.
And we're allowed to talk about both of them. It's frustrating to me.
Oh, no, a crazy person did something awful. Now we can't tell the truth about Donald Trump.
Nice try. In an now-deleted post, Elon Musk wrote on Sunday, and no one is even trying to assassinate Biden Kamala, followed by a thinking face emoji.
For the first time in my... I don't know.
We'll just do it. For the first time in my life, I feel like saying, go back to Africa.
Jesus Christ. I didn't write it.
I don't know if I can. Even in this guy, I feel so strange saying it.
Anyway, it's interesting that Elon included the thinking emoji. It's like, oh, so he does know about thinking.
Musk deleted the post and said, well, one lesson I've learned is that just because I say something to a group and they laugh doesn't mean it's going to be all that hilarious as a post on X. Damn.
Yeah. I guess not everyone has as awesome a sense of humor as the people who need to get through this Elon management 101.
Everybody is a replaceable cog in the machine that serves me meeting without getting fired. That is one of the most revealing and depressing things I've ever heard anybody say.
I'm glad I've never had to say anything like that. The people I pay to hang out with me are actually the least likely to laugh at my jokes because of how much they respect me.
Isn't that right? Kind of. I actually think it is kind of true.
Yeah, we're past that point. We're not going to laugh just to make you happy.
What would that even look like? What's crazy about that is like, no, they didn't. Like, it's like he did not say that out loud to anyone.
He's not around anyone. He's just doing kind of mean in a windowless room.
Everyone laughed. I'm like, are they there? Who's they? Both are pretty sad, but let's take him at his word.
The pathetic yes-men goons surrounding Donald Trump, Elon Musk at this point are just like, of course they're laughing. They're just trying to get through the day.
You pay them all. They're just going to drive home in their cyber truck and their foot's going to go down a little bit farther.
Yeah. A little heavy.
I hate those cyber trucks. I just I laugh every time I see one.
It never gets less funny. I take the bus.
Yeah. We're bus buddies.
I've never seen a movie and I can't drive. Yeah.
Listen, I don't know if you know this, but stay tuned to Sarah Lazarus's new Trad Life YouTube channel. So anyway, after he tweeted his excuse that people in the room laughed, he also posted, turns out, this is a quote, that jokes are way less funny if people don't know the context and the delivery is plain text.
For those who don't understand, the context was assassination. Yeah, man.
No one's ever written a joke in text before. Yeah, there's never been a funny tweet.
Never been a funny tweet. Can't be done.
In a Monday interview with Fox News Digital, Trump himself blamed Biden and Harris for the attempt on his life, saying of the Palm Beach gunman, he believed the rhetoric of Biden and Harris and he acted on it. Their rhetoric is causing me to be shot at when I am the one who's going to save the country and they are the ones that are destroying the country, both from the inside and out.
Trump is right. Routh seems to be only the latest violent extremist to be radicalized.
Some would say activated by Harris's call to taxes for first-time homebuyers and restore the earned income tax credit. Trump then added of Democrats, quote, they use highly inflammatory language.
I can use it too far better than they can, but I don't. That's right, everybody.
The Trump who jokes about gun owners killing Hillary Clinton refuses this week to condemn threats of violence in Springfield, Ohio, encourages and now says he'll pardon the January 6th insurrectionists, promises a bloody mass deportation, threatens to deploy troops against protesters on American soil. And he asked his defense secretary if they could just, quote, shoot protesters in 2020.
The guy that said all that, that guy, his phaser is still set to stun. I do think Trump is telling the truth that he could be more inflammatory.
Sure, it's kind of hard to picture. But when Simone Biles says she can do an even crazier flip that no one's ever thought of, you take her at her word.
Speaking of inflammatory language, Jadie Vance spoke to Georgia's Faith and Freedom Coalition on Monday and had the stones to say this after rallying every racist in America against immigrants in his home state. I do think that we should take this opportunity to call for a reduction in the ridiculous and inflammatory political rhetoric coming from too many corners of our politics.
We cannot tell the American people that one candidate is a fascist, and if he's elected, it is going to be the end of American democracy. Yeah, man.
Totally. Here's Trump.
You know all about that. Take away our energy, if you can believe it.
No fossil fuel. Destroy our Second Amendment, attack the right to life and replace American freedom with left-wing fascism.
Left-wing. We're going left-wing all the way.
Fascists. They are fascists.
Some of them, not all of them, but some of them, but they're getting closer and closer. We have to win this election.
Here's some more of J.D. Vance.
While we're disparaged by the media and disparaged by the Democrats as people who want to force our faith on other people, I think I speak for every single person in this room saying we don't want to force our faith on anybody. What we want is to recognize and to have motivate us the faith that is, I think, the source of all great truth in human history and especially in this country, that we want our public policy to be motivated by the wisdom of loving thy neighbor.
Yeah, no, totally a loving thy neighbor vibe from J.D. Vance over the past week as they make up a racist conspiracy theory about legal immigrants whose only crime is going to a town in Ohio because the businesses said, hey, come to our town.
We have jobs for legal immigrants like you. They did it.
They did what he asked them to do. And now he is making up a story about how they are eating neighborhood pets.
I don't like this guy. This is white Christian supremacy.
This is just like a bald example of their hypocrisy where he's like, thy neighbor. And also I, D.D.
Vance, should be in control of who you consider your neighbor, including your actual neighbors. Like I should be I will tell you to turn against your actual neighbors in your town while I speak on the other side of my mouth about these Christian values.
It's embarrassing. And at least I'd be sure everyone watching this, you already know that.

It's just so insane to see it so clearly.

And again, I'm from Ohio,

so this doesn't shock me in any way.

But yeah, it's disgusting.

You ate cats, right?

Oh, yeah, that's none of anyone's business.

I would eat a cat if I had to.

It just didn't come up.

Well, you never have to.

I never had to. They didn't make you do that on the island? Let's keep going.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
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you know it's shockingly nasty and i did not remember this insomnia cookies not good no i ordered them the other night bad i would say there's one that just opened near us crumble cookies oh they're too damn sweet they're disgusting god damn there are no there is no distinction between the flavor of any of those cookies. It's just sugar cookies.
It's no good. Anyway, ahead of his second brush with an assassination attempt, Donald Trump had his mind on important national matters, lashing out at Taylor Swift over her endorsement of Kamala Harris.
Trump wrote in all caps on True Social on Sunday. I hate Taylor Swift.
What? Oh, guys, guys.

Hey, hey, we don't need the alarms.

I'm just quoting Trump.

I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying that.

Stand down, Swifties.

Swift hadn't responded to the post, but then the Swifties had been activated.

The hashtag I love Taylor Swift was trending by Monday morning.

Said Travis Kelsey, I hashtag love spending time with Taylor Swift.

I hashtag could see myself loving Taylor Swift. I hashtag could see myself

loving Taylor Swift, but I'm not there yet, but want to get there. I don't know if he loves Taylor Swift or not, but it's funny to think about not being at the point of saying it while people are hashtagging it on the internet.
I wonder if they're there yet. Do you think they're in love? Let's all go around.
You think they're in love? You know, I don't presume to know people's private lives. I'm going to go no.
What do you guys think? I think Ben Affleck and J-Lo have more. Okay.
Yeah, I can see that. I think they've said it.
I don't know if there's substance behind it. Oh, wow.
That's an interesting take. That's an interesting take.
Yeah. Isn't that a funny...
It's a funny thing that... Like, in a culture where people say I love you all the time in ways that are, like, pretty embarrassing and not true and silly, like, people that have just met will say it as they're leaving a party.
People will say it at the end of a Zoom, you know. But inside of relationships, it has such importance.
And even at times where it would be easier to say it, people still don't. There's this real kind of ethic I think a lot of people have around saying the word, even if they would say lie to get around things in small ways like we all do in other settings.
I think it's interesting. I think it's like we all have this feeling and desire for what feels like real love and i think a lot of us have like yeah like love is used so frequently that it's like when your relationship is like you want it to mean something more than when you're leaving a party yeah it's sacred i think that's beautiful yeah yeah i hope they are far i hope they're in love or will fall in love.
I do, too. I do, too.
And I hope she turns all her fans against Donald Trump while she's at it. And then, do you see that Billie Eilish endorsed Kamala today and directed people? What about Phineas? Phineas, too.
Thank God. Phineas, too.
All the Phineas heads out there. We got Phineas, everybody.

Meanwhile, the Springfield woman responsible for posting the fake rumor to Facebook accusing Haitian immigrants of eating pets admitted she had no evidence of the claim. Guess that cat's finally out of the bag.
The to-go bag. All right.
In Lee's original post, she alleged her neighbor's daughter's friend had seen Haitian immigrants eating her missing cat in the neighborhood. Who's laughing now, said Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend.
He added, ow, my testicles, my giant testicles. Springfield's Clark College closed its campus and will hold classes virtually this week after it received threats of a shooting and a bomb threat over the weekend.

Police also responded to bomb threats

against two local elementary schools

as well as City Hall.

Even if you believe the racist lie Trump and Vance are spreading, walk me through the logic of this. I don't understand.
I do not understand. Even in a broken, fucked up world where people believe this bullshit enough to be motivated to support Donald Trump and J.D.
Vance, I do not understand the mindset of someone who sees this on the news and then tries to ruin a bunch of kids days. Like who wins because of that? I don't like I can't get in the head of a person who would do that.
It's it's just racism. It's just raw racism that's being activated.
Like there is no coherence to it because it's like, yeah, it's a dead ideology they're trying to awaken. And this is it.
It just comes out like in this horrible way. But do they believe the kids at the school are Haitian? No, that's the thing.
It's racism. It's racism, but also combined with the intrinsic laziness of the GOP, where we're not going to look up like a church, a Catholic church, maybe that Haitians frequent.
We're not going to look up the community center. We've seen the name of this college.
Let's just go with that. Yeah, just Googling what's in Springfield and calling them, unfortunately.
Despite Springfield's mayor and Ohio's governor denouncing this bullshit, on Sunday, Vance reposted a video that he claimed to be African immigrants in Dayton, Ohio, grilling a cat, which is fucking disgusting. I hate when people post a cooking video without the recipe.
Boo! Boo! By the way, like, I do think there's something serious happening here. There's always been conspiracy theorists.
Obviously, the internet and social media helps inflame and metastasize that. And there have always been right-wing kind of paranoid, delusional, or just mendacious people preying on the racism and fears of the right to spread bullshit and help their side.
It is shocking to see the kind of barrier between the kooks and the actual leaders of the GOP completely breaking down. Like, it is it is inconceivable to me that Paul Ryan, who I did not like, would participate in this.
Right. Like, if you go back and look at the rhetoric, even of Sarah Palin in 2008, even at her worst, doesn't compare to this.
And she was fucking terrible. Like something really is breaking down.
Like Ted Cruz is sharing completely manufactured fake affidavits, accusing ABC News of of giving the questions to Kamala Harris, because obviously she won the debate because she knew in advance they were going to ask about immigration. It was moderated by her sorority.
Oh, yes. We all.
Yeah. Who went to a different school 12 years later or whatever.
But like to just spread a baseless rumor and then to try to prove that you're not full of shit

Even though you have admitted you're full of shit by posting a random video of random people purported to be a video of a cat, which, by the way, it's not from a different part of Ohio. Immigrants are my different part.
Like, it's just all despicable. Vance also made the press rounds on Sunday.
And boy, was he on message if his message was I'm an unlikable, insane person. I trust my constituents more than I do the American media that has shown no interest in what's happened in Springfield until we started sharing cat memes on the Internet.
Yes. The national media refused to spread a rumor pasted to Facebook, which we now know is untrue.
Let's take a look at what other things people are posting on Facebook. My God, they crucified a minion.
Why is the media not talking about the fact that this minion died for our sins? My lord and minion savior. This minion, have you heard the good news? The minions are dead.
The minion died and was reborn reborn it's hard to crucify a minion because

part of the whole part of crucifixion what makes it work is you have to break the kneecaps okay nope kendra what the fuck kendra what the fuck was that it's a harmless image of a minion.

That's the problem.

Minions don't have knees.

Well, anyway.

Yes, also, by the way, canonically. We're all thinking it.
Yeah. I mean, it comes to mind.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
What the? Unbelievable. The crown of thorns.
Actually, the reason we know that minions can't be crucified is that there's actually clear differences between the gospel of Matthew and the gospel of Luke on this question. Unbelievable.
Just immediately jumped out at me. I'm sorry.
No, listen, Kendra, I say this with love and affection. You are the strangest person I know who is allowed to walk around.

Yeah.

Does anyone disagree with me?

Zena got crucified and it really stayed with me. Zena the warrior princess?

Zena the warrior princess. Okay, we got it.

Now we were all there. And it really

stayed with me. I didn't know

you were crucified in that show. Yeah.

Yeah, there was a whole

Jesus subplot on that show.

Let's move on.

I'm trying a little bit.

While on CNN, Vance also showed a little too much leg.

Not, metaphorically, metaphorically.

But it wasn't just a meme.

If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people,

then that's what I'm going to do, Dana.

We tell ourselves stories in order to live. A quote by Joan Didion Vance.
The idea, too, that he is using this to draw attention to the suffering of the American people. The Haitian immigrants who are in Ohio are there on temporary protected status, which is a legal form of immigration.
That status has been in place since the Haitian earthquake in 2010. It is an immigration policy that was included in, as we all know, the 1990 Immigration Reform Act bipartisan bill signed by George H.W.
Bush. Now, of course, we all know that because J.D.
Vance has been drawing attention to that very issue over the past two weeks. We all know that when he's talking about alleviating the suffering of the American people, what he'd want to do to make life better, the reforms he'd make to the actual immigration system at stake, the ways in which he'd help build affordable housing, the way in which he'd cut the taxes and make life more affordable for the middle class people in Springfield, Ohio.
Oh, wait, he hasn't said a fucking word about any of it. Nothing.
Not one policy proposal, just a bunch of mendacious bullshit attacks on Kamala Harris and Joe Biden in order to whip up an anti-immigrant, xenophobic, racist fervor. He offers absolutely like he has been bloviating about this for two weeks.
He has not said a fucking word about what he would do to make life better for people in Ohio. And by the way, he has been their senator.
Their governor is a Republican. It is a Republican-run state.
He discovered this problem in the last two weeks. Oh, there's this massive problem that nobody's paying attention.
You weren't fucking paying attention to it until you started sharing memes two weeks ago. I'm sick of talking about this.
They're going to ban abortion. Here's my...
I don't think it's a conspiracy. I think that's just where I think we're at.
I think that he knows they're not going to get elected. And so this from here and out, it's just going to be opening as many doors as he can rhetorically for white supremacy.
Anyway, sorry to say that. I'm sort of like, yeah, this is just going to be this.
I just don't think he thinks they're losing i think he is a mad angry terminally online person like the fact that the last time he did a round of sunday shows it was after his misbegotten launch which ended up being focused on his previous comments about childless cat ladies which again they didn't understand how detrimental it would be because they are so online and so broken he now has has two weeks where he introduced this incredibly stupid and vile storyline, which made Trump a joke when he used it in the debate. And so now he's trying to do cleanup again on the Sunday shows to try to spar with reporters.
I do think for him, he's not good at rallies, can't buy fucking donuts to save his life. He is actually like combative interviews with mainstream journalists is probably one of his best settings.
He is a very smart person. He is a very sophisticated operator.
He knows what he's doing. He can be like an intellectual Zamboni for Trump coming up behind him and cleaning up the scrapes and the mess in the ice.
And so like, I do think they're trying to in this way. I just, they're also, I think, trying to, I think they're also trying to convince themselves that this has now shifted the topic away from Trump failing at the debate and onto the ground they want to be arguing on, which is immigration.
But I think the idea that, oh, we're not talking about abortion as much. We're stuck in this immigration conversation.
I think is there some truth to it, but like, this is not the immigration topic they want. This is not about the border.
It's about legal immigration. It's about a made up and racist conspiracy theory.
Like, I think they have an argument they could be making on the border, but he doesn't get to make it here. He's trying to pivot back to it over and over again.
So I do think we just have to be calling it out and saying this is despicable. They like the chaos at the border.
And by the way, the reason J.D. Vance wants to talk about all this weird stuff is because they know that their agenda is deeply unpopular.
And we just have to get like I hope I hope and I'm sure we will see this, whether it's Walls at a rally or Kamala Harris at a rally or in interviews starting to like because they haven't really been out there on this yet. Yeah, I had a question about that because I was like, I understand the value of just letting this play out to a certain point.
But like, they do have to go to Springfield at this point. Like I to me, it's like you one of the or both of them have to show up and make a statement and do something just because this seems like it's going to continue perhaps for another week.
And it's already so dangerous. Yeah, I think you want I think whether or not they go there, I mean, Trump is going to go to Springfield.
I don't know what the exact right way to do it is and whether you need to go there or not. I do think they need to be up at rallies basically calling out the game, like basically saying this isn't true.
This is a vile way to drum up chaos and hate. That's what they want to do.
But we actually want to solve

the crisis at the border.

We actually want to reform

our immigration system.

And by the way,

we want to do all this other stuff

to help not just people in Springfield,

but people everywhere.

And they do not,

they do not have an agenda for you.

So that's why they're out here,

you know, drumming up all this bullshit.

If you're sick of this bullshit

from Donald Trump and J.D. Vance

of this endless noise and fighting and chaos and cruelty and arguing and divisiveness and trying to pit people against each other and you'd like some middle class tax cuts and abortion protections, we've got a great candidate for you. And let's put all that.
Let's get away. We're all sick of this.
We're exhausted by it. I think that's what we'll start to hear.
And I think that actually is the thing that will move us on from this. Like J.D.
Vance can't this topic. He's lying and he has to defend it.
The thing that will close it is Kamala Harris and Tim Walls kind of mocking it and putting it in context. And then we can get to the next fucked up, insane news cycle coming our way.
It's just going to be night. Every week it's going to be a new nightmare.
Yeah. And that's the latest political headline.
On Sunday, the stars turned out for a moderately entertaining evening at the Emmys, hosted by Eugene and Dan Levy. The ceremony may have been shot for a television audience, but the host made sure their eyebrows played to the back of the room.
And I say that with so much love as a fellow big-eyebrowed American. And by the way, you know what? Canadian? Are they still Canadian? I think they're still Canadian.
Well, I'm a fellow big eyebrow Canadian.

So I'll say they look great.

They do look great.

I also think it's,

I'm also really happy that

Eugene Levy and Dan Levy

and myself and Sarah,

we made it through

the thin eyebrow years.

Yeah.

Which not enough,

there was the thin eyebrow years.

It was a dark time

for the big eyebrow community.

And we made it through, we held it together. And now everybody's jealous of our big bushy eyebrows.
Yeah. Andy Rooney, table for one.
Me. I'm Andy Rooney.
What? A timely reference. Shogun won the most Emmys of any show in any single year with 18.

Fine, Jesus, I'll watch Shogun.

Didn't realize Shogun was short for show you have to watch or the Emmys will shoot you with a gun.

I haven't seen it.

But thankfully, my years in the industry have honed my ability to fake it.

I'll show you right now.

Hallie, ask me a question about Shogun.

Well, what do you think of them starting the finale with a... I gotta go to the bathroom.
Listen, little showbiz behind the scenes. We did three takes of that.
The bear won four awards in the comedy categories and was anticipated to take best comedy. But in the end, the bear got clowned by Hacks, which snatched the award for best comedy.

In the end,

Hacks just had that special something

that set it apart.

And that special something

was jokes.

A shout out, by the way,

Jen Stansky,

Travis Helwig,

former Hallie of this show.

She's part of the extended

Crooked Universe.

Yeah, Jen's part of the extended

Crooked Universe with Paul

and Lucia,

so congrats to them. Hell yeah.
I loved, I thought, I was very happy. Like, I think the bear is great, but I think it's time that comedy, like, stands up for itself.
We need jokes. We need hard jokes.
Like, I love the bear, but like, just because it's 30 minutes doesn't make it a comedy and like, like, comedy's really fucking hard. Yeah.
We show that, I think we make it look pretty hard. I mean, my God, you see it because we're sweating up here.
It's twice a week every week. But like, this season of Hacks was so good.
So I was just really glad to see it. To see it win.
I think it's great. Baby Reindeer also took home four wins for limited series.
Included the coveted Emmy for Babiest Reindeer. I haven't seen the show.
Sounds cute though. I actually have seen it.
And it's not cute. But it's good.
It's really good. It's good.
It's dark. And I really like that the creator of Baby Reindeer pointed out that like it's the opposite of formulaic.
Like I think people say that like, oh, you got to take a chance on risky stuff. And then what they're talking about is like a procedural.
But get this woman, you know, it's like not that risky. But like Baby Reindeer is genuinely not formulaic.
Like even once even you watch the first episode and think boy this is a strange premise you would buckle up that's like it gets it goes gets so it's really interesting and where it goes and what their tv shows are better oh yeah the brits they're just doing it hey hey now i don't i, we do okay. We do okay.
I haven't seen a single dragon coming out of that country. We got dragons up the yang.
That entire show was filled with Brits. I know, but it's an American.
And our fingerprints all over. Yeah, it's got American vibes.
Yeah, American vibes. I love it.
Jelly Roll performed I Am Not Okay for the In Memoriam segment, an appropriate choice since those featured in the segment are not okay. They are, in fact, dead.
Fans notice some late great noticeable absences from the reel, including Shelley Duvall, though she's used to getting the axe. Boo-boo.
Tease. Love Shelley Duvall.
I'm Shelley Duvall. She Had a hard life.
Presenter Candace Bergen jabbed Dan Quayle over his famous critique of her character Murphy Brown for being a single mother. He joked, joked Bergen, today a Republican candidate for vice president would never attack a woman for having kids.
Pretty good one. But J.D.
Vance responded, hey, I won't suffer these insults from you coastal elites before ordering a Philly cheesecake al dente and asking the cashier if she and the other workers are synced up. Weird guy.
And finally, this Wednesday, I, John Lovett, will be making my reality TV debut on Survivor. Spoiler alert, I didn't drown.
Yay! I haven't been this nervous for something to come out since the thing coming out was me.

Never referred to myself as a thing before.

But you've thought it.

And we have a clip.

A lot of people think of Survivor as a test of endurance, as an experiment in deprivation.

But in the end, it comes down to a vote and you call it a jury but really that's an election and so for me I think of Survivor more than anything as an experiment in democracy now are those real skulls? yeah previous contestants that That's exciting. I don't know if I believe that you believe that whole spiel or if you just knew that you needed to come up with a real good excuse to be away for seven weeks and make it sound excellent.
Why Kendra? Yeah. What an easy thing to not say.
Sorry. No, I do genuinely believe that.
I really did. That was part of why I wanted to go on.
And it's been really fun. Like I, I, this morning, I did a bunch of interviews with like affiliates all across the country talking about Survivor and democracy and Vote Save America and Pod Save America.

So, like, I do think there's something to it, which is, like, especially since the pandemic, I think, like, there's something about Survivor that's so, like, unabashedly earnest and positive and positive and like not cynical that i think is really nice and that i really liked you can't ironically crawl through the mud yeah you can't ironically crawl through the mud poop in the ocean nope nope there's only one way to do that with your whole fucking heart um i have a question and you don't have to answer this if you want to but why did you um pack knits yeah bad like why didn't you go linen? The sand. The sand.
Cotton. I was like, you're going to be sweating.
The sand's going to stick. Knits on an island.
Such an important point. Uh-huh.
And something to think about for the next time. Yeah.
I go on Survivor. Anyway, that footage you saw was the last piece of footage they had before I, January 6th the Tribal Council.
Look, obviously, I can't talk about what happened in the show, and you will see it as it airs. But I will say that I did great in the challenge where we had to track down and kill the enigmatic Colonel Kurtz.
That seems like a book reference. Lazarus, you know that.
It's both. Well, one is a reference to the book Heart of Darkness.
The other is a reference to Apocalypse Now. I can't remember where he's a colonel.
I think it's Mr. Kurtz in the novel.
So Colonel Kurtz would be a reference to Apocalypse Now. I've never seen that.
I've never seen that. Damn.
Yeah. Vietnam's not my thing.
Yeah, it was no one's thing. Famously.
Famously, no one's thing. Of course, there is an election coming up that is almost as important as the Tribal Council.
Today, Tuesday, is National Voter Registration Day, September 17th. So please go to votesaveamerica.com.
You can get information about your polling place, how to get a mail-in ballot, how to get out and be part of the Democratic process. Again, 49 days.
Please sign up. Do a couple shifts.
I'm going to do some shifts this weekend for some candidates in California. You can come say hi to me.
I'll talk about that. I'll post the details on the Elon Musk's health site or perhaps Instagram.
You're one of the people that's been volunteering and helping to reach three million voters this election cycle already. Thank you.
But I know a lot of you have not signed up because this podcast is surprisingly popular. And it still makes no sense.
Makes no sense to us, but it makes sense to you. So please do me a favor.
Pause right now for one second. Go to votesaveamerica.com slash vote.
Sign up. We just we we just I can't look.
Imagine looking at J.D. Vance's fucking face for the next four years as your vice president, who has already said if he were in Mike Pence's shoes, he would not have certified the election.
So everybody, we got a couple more weeks to to to put these people behind us. So that's votesaveamerica.com slash vote.
Just to check if you're registered or to send to somebody in your life to make sure they're registered. And everybody go to votesaveamerica.com and sign up.
I can't keep asking and you can't keep not doing it. So just fucking do it.
Votesaveamerica.com. This ad has not been authorized by any candidate or candidates committee, obviously.
And that's our show. This was a fun one.

Sarah, Kendra, Hallie, thank you so much.

As always, see you on the other side of the premiere.

Tune in.

It's going to be a whole new world.

Yeah, because now you'll actually know what happens.

I've got my suspicions.

Okay.

No, no, no, no, no. No guessing.

No guessing.

No guessing.

Oh, right.

See you sluts on Saturday.

All right. Thank you.
Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg.
Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer.
And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer.
Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre,

Will Miles and Mahana del Shiki are our writers.

Evan Sutton is our editor.

Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.

Stephen Colon is our audio engineer.

And Milo Kim is our videographer.

Our theme song is written and performed by SureSure.

Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna,

for creating and running all of our visuals,

which you can't see because this is a podcast.

And to our digital producers,

David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat, for filming and editing video each week so you can. It's love it or leave it.
You know what holds up? I was in Chicago this weekend for a wedding and I was craving Entenmann's chocolate donuts. Oh, yeah.
Which I haven't had since it was like 10 probably, but we got a box and they are still so good. Do you mean there's the the chocolate frosted chocolate frosted white donut yes oh yeah because they have those that when i was a kid they had the box of six that had the um perfect for a funeral they had like the vanilla with the little crumbs cookie and the chocolate with little crumbs they were so good they rock rock.
And then they had the soft-bake ones.

Oh, wow.

That takes me back.