What a Weekday: Time for Tim

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Hey, everybody. I'm John Lovett.
I am here today with producer Kendra and writers Hallie and Sarah. Hi.
Lovely to see you all. Let's get into it.

What a weekday.

On Tuesday morning, our vice presidential predictions and white guy wonderings finally came to an end.

Kamala Harris has chosen Minnesota Governor Tim Walz to join her on the ticket.

And on behalf of all Americans, let me just say.

To the window!

To the window!

To the wall!

This was the choice.

So, everybody has been saying from the window to the walls. What does it actually, other than just it having the sound walls, what is window doing for us? I don't think it's doing.
It's a dance. It's the dance.
Right. It's evoking a nostalgic time of celebration that feels so distant,

when in fact it was so recently that Lil Jon entreated us to go from the window to the walls.

Here's a question.

For me, that was a Bar Mitzpah season song.

Oh, wow.

Is it that far back?

For me, it was college.

That was a firmly sophomore year, because that was the same year as Yeah,

which was definitely my sophomore year song.

What a time.

Wow.

What a time. And.
What a time.

And now we're having our own time.

And it is broad summer because of Minnesota.

Because of broads.

Okay.

It's supposed to brat summer.

It's so rare to see the internet get exactly what it wants.

What's next?

Tommy Post feed pics?

Nice.

Wallace wrote on X, I am all in.

Vice President Harris is showing us the politics of what's possible. It reminds me a bit of the first day of school.
So let's get this done, folks. Join us.
I mean, not the first day at a real school these days, of course. That's just eight hours of active shooter drills.
But you understand the point that he was making. Walls was one of two finalists for the position, along with Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro.
We may not have the first Jewish vice president, but by God, we have Doug. No one can take Doug away from us.
You can't. No one can take Doug away from us.
Doug is ours. And Doug loves us whether we believe in him or not.
But I believe. Like Santa.
Like Santa. Trump wasted no time attacking Walls in a fundraising email, calling him dangerously liberal and saying he would unleash hell on earth.

First of all, is he talking about Walls' record in Minnesota, which includes free school lunches,

legalized wheat, paid family and sick leave, background checks for guns, automatic voter registration and increased school funding or me at the Minnesota fair without any lactate,

you know, because of all the dairy that they'll likely have. I just don't believe it is going to

work to try to tag Tim Walls as being some kind of radical extremist. There is nothing more comforting than the shape and sounds that Tim Walls puts into the universe.
It's like when they tried to call Biden that. They couldn't do it.
They couldn't make it work. They couldn't make it stick.
So they had to say that Kamala Harris was back there pulling all the strings. We were talking about Kiki and Booba at some point tim wallace is a booba yes tim wallace is one he is definitely yes he is he is booba he is booba is is kamala harris they want kamala harris but i think they're both booba i think they're both yeah i do think they're both booba yeah they want the names they do like tim and kamala jd is booba for sure.
For sure. What is Trump? Trump is almost like a square.
He's something else. Yeah, Trump is an unknown shape.
He is pointy. Like a hexagon.
Trump is one of those shapes where it takes mathematicians decades to prove that this completely never before described geometric form rolls the same way a sphere does, even though it shouldn't. And you're like, you guys couldn't be working on climate change.
You gotta be doing all this. And then somebody comes and looks and I actually realized that that shape matches the shape of a tortoise shell.
And you realize that the tortoises evolved the same shape. Did we talk about this before? What? Yeah.
My brain immediately went to when they discovered that new shape and you were upset.

Isn't that what we're talking about? No, this is similar. I'm sorry.
I don't know. That's a similar issue.
What is this shape called? Hold on. All I know is like Trump shape is like if you step on it in the middle of the night, you will punch a hole in the wall because it'll be so painful.
For those of us just finding out, I never looked up the name of the shape. You know what? I think everybody's happy.
For those of us just finding out who the hell he is, Tim Walls, 60, is a former high school teacher, a veteran, and a gun owner who could help Harris extend her appeal to working class white voters. While somehow also delighting the fruity coastal elites, he's our dad and he loves us.
Yay. Also, worse comes to worse, Walls could probably kick J.D.
Vance's ass out back behind the American Legion Hall. Not that he wants to.
Big meaty fist on that guy like friendly mallets. Wallace coached the high school football team while teaching social studies and also supervised the lunchroom.
I've been to Minnesota and I've consumed the amount of dairy they ate. You need somebody to keep an eye on things.
Or the whole goddamn place is fit to blow. You gotta see a doctor, man.
This is a really prevalent subject for you. Pass the Rubicon, hear me.
got to take care of yourself. It is funny that our options for vice president were a Jewish man or a man whose diet would destroy any Jewish man.
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
That should have been the final test. Like, like, you know, like, seeing if they floated, you know, trial by trial by fire.
They just like whoever drinks all this milk and can get to the fucking event is the vice president I think that were the test Josh would have figured it out He had to figure it out. Wallace also famously sponsored his high school's gay straight alliance in the 1990s Saying it was especially important to be a visible ally as the football coach who was the soldier and was straight and was married But that's a little too much Tim.
He asked me But that's Tim Wallace for you The teacher who both sported you in learning the choreography to Jeannie in a bottle and consoled you after you did it at the talent show by saying that Mankato just wasn't ready for you to serve that hard. I don't know that he would have had the term serve back then.
We didn't know about serving. We didn't know about serving back then.
It's fitting because Gay Straight Alliance also describes the conglomerate of online posters who just memed Walsh onto the ticket. Speaking of service, Walsh later served in Congress as a moderate Democrat and a strong supporter of gun rights.
But after the Parkland shooting in 2018, his daughter had urged him to do more to prevent gun violence. And in response, he donated all the money he'd ever received from the NRA to charity.
That's right, America. He's a dad who actually listens.
Can we make him king? No, John, calm down. That's how these things start.
First, you think you want a king because you like a Tim Walz? Next thing you know, it's Charles is all the way down. So if I'm understanding correctly, we've chosen Coach Taylor.
If that helps you understand. Yeah, I think that's fair.
I think that that's... Translating it into words that American.
Yeah, I would say I haven't seen it, but Booba Booba Coach Taylor episode title. That's for no one said walls last month.
I know basic gun safety isn't a threat to my rights. It's about keeping our kids safe.
I had an A rating from the NRA. Now I get straight F's and I sleep fine.
And as someone who still wakes up in a dead sweat over getting an F in a dream, that's pretty impressive. But that's why I have that half a post-nightmare benzo on the bedside table for those exact moments.
But it's fine because my therapist didn't object. But that's because I haven't seen my therapist in months because we record this very episode when I used to do therapy.
This is my therapy now. And what is happy anyway? It's this.
You know, there's more than one therapist, right? They have different schedules, More than one hour in the day. This is my window.
We got it. We got it.
We got to have a big conversation. I really recommend a Sunday morning.
Sunday morning. That is the exact moment I don't want to be diving into my problems.
You get up, you do your therapy, and then you go on about your day. It's like perfect.
I think we got this. He's hey sarah thank you and that's coming from me who's also fine yeah we're all fine absolutely hey we're fine we're fine we're fine i am i go saturday morning i'm loving it saturday also very good i'm loving it i didn't know there was all this weekend therapy available.
Yeah.

We'll talk.

Yeah, we'll figure it out. I thought therapy was like a nine to five thing.

I thought they had bankers hours.

Callie and I probably don't go to like the fancy therapists.

We just go to your regular average show.

Oh, yeah, they're getting all the scragglers.

Do they know about all the illnesses though?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, yours are pretty much on the top of the list.

They'll know yours.

Yeah.

You know what I think?

I'm obscure.

I took an ADHD quiz online and I passed.

Yeah, you did, did you?

Well, three years in.

I'm just going case. Wallace has leaned hard into calling Trump and other Republicans weird in a string of recent news appearances.
These are weird people on the other side. They want to take books away.
They want to be in your exam room. That's what it comes down to.
So when these guys get in situations in front of real people and trying to pretend like they know what people are going through, they've got nothing to offer. And no one can picture them in their own lives.
Wow. That's a great point, that last point.
No one can picture them in their own lives. It's true.
Imagine Donald Trump having dinner with his family, to—like, there's no humanness to them. It's such a devastating thing to say to somebody, which is like, I can't picture you having a normal life.
Because what are you supposed to respond? But I do, sir. I do all the normal things.
Meatloaf. Lurk.
Baseball. Scheme.
Sons. Have sons.
Many sons. Nothing has devastated Republicans more than the reminder that we can see them.
Just a perfect messenger for this. Wallace is the most normal man America has ever seen.
They're all going to dig deep to find the weirdest thing about him, and it's going to turn out to be a crazy snack he thinks he invented, and that snack will be apples and peanut butter. His aptitude for that line of attack, along with his undeniable dad energy, has built enthusiasm and momentum which is palpable online.
And seeing the Internet's most cynical, nihilistic leftists embrace Waltz unironically is a reminder that 95 percent of Internet anger is from people who are one hug and a loving punch on the shoulder away from sobbing and asking if they're a good boy. He could still disappoint us all, of course.
We could still dig up a 10-year-old tweet where he uses the word frogaccini. Nope.
Frogaccini. I guess.
And that would be tough. Assault to the Earth, Midwesterners.
Speaking Italian, I don't buy it. I don't buy it.
He just misspelled fettuccine, I'm sure. Yeah, probably.
Here's Tim Walz holding a piglet. Oh, God.
It's so good. It's like my dream pet.
I really want a pig. I had a pig growing up.
Have we talked about that? And here we have a photo of Tim Walls with a pig several hours later. No.
He's a little porked up. You wanted a pig? I had a pig.
You had a pig. I had a pig.
I really, really want a pig. And since I guess I'm Kendra for the day and the weird animal of Venia, we did have to return him to the breeder because he kept getting penis infections.
Oh, because pigs penises are curly. So they're actually hard to take care of his pets.
Yeah, man, that would fuck up your vault, too. If I saw my pig in the Olympics, I'd be so proud of it.
How big of a how big of a pig? Don't they get quite large? Yes, it was a Vietnamese potbellied pigs. they start big, but they end up...
I mean, they could be huge. They could be like 300 pounds, but we lived out in the country.
Kind of like as much room as you give them, like a snake. Yeah, like a goldfish.
Well, it'll get like 20 feet long, obviously, but... Don't people get fooled into thinking they bought something called like a teacup piglet? Yes, and then it ends up being like a massive...
That's Paris Hilton's fault. So...
And... But why not a dog? Well, we already had dogs.
And I was obsessed much like Kendra. We just share a lot of similarities with weird animals.
I don't know. I was like, I think it'd be cute.
Paris Hilton's fault. What was it like as a pet? It was so smart.
You could teach it to use a litter box inside. So it lived inside.
Do you have an indoor pig? An indoor pig. It could move toys around, like a little fire truck around with its nose.
It's very smart. So this is what I always, I find that I simply, like part of the reasons I don't like cats is because I don't know cats and I feel like I can't know them because they're not dogs.
And I think of horses as big dogs and pigs as little fat dogs. And I just.
There's something true that though. And we always say like, oh, they're smarter than or not as smart as, but that's not, I want to understand their pigness.
Like what was a way that, forget intelligence. What makes it a pig versus a dog? Like if your pig wore a dog costume, would it be a dog? I would say that a pig is more human than a dog is.
What do you mean by that? It's like, it's intelligent. It interacts with you in a way that like a little human would.
In a way, like a dog's kind of goofy and like messy and like your dog's always vomiting and stuff. Like there's an element to that to a pig, but a pig is like, you could sort of talk to it in a way that you felt like it understood you so you could like train it.
What do pigs enjoy? Eating sloth, walking around. What do we enjoy? But they don't do fat.
You could fetch with a pig, yeah. And they enjoy that? Yeah, they like being around humans.
Like, they have, like, that dogness where, like, they're enjoying it. I remember, because it would squeal all night because it was baby, I would have to sleep in the mudroom in a sleeping bag.
And then, in the morning... You know what a mudroom is.
Were you the bed? It's not a mud. I'm sorry.
It's not a mudroom. I know what a mudroom is, but it is a funny thing to say.
The pig had to sleep in the house and I slept in the mud. Well, I slept in the mud room with it and I'd wake up and it would have curled itself around my feet in my sleeping bag.
So you were trying to get away from the pig because it was squealing? No, no. My parents made me sleep in the mud room because a pig was squealing.
It would squeal until somebody came to sleep with it. It needed a roommate.
I was pig's roommate. So I'm sorry.
So the pig was already in the mud room and you joined the pig. I was confused.
I thought the pig was in the living room or the home. No, no, no.
The pig was in Howie's bed. Yeah.
I joined the pig in his bed, basically. It's the pig's house now.
We were both boobah, so it made sense. Anyways, I have eaten pork since.
It's not like I'm against pork. I don't tend to eat it, though.
I will say that. Also, I'm going to say this once and never again.
His name should be Waltz. I know.
I know. I think you'd say that again if you wanted to.
No, I'll never say it again. Yeah.
It just should be Waltz. And thanks, New York Times, for this photo of Tim Walz eating a pork chop.
All right. Here we have Walz tweeting about his dog Scout somehow locking himself in the Walz's bedroom where he was rescued with a ladder.
And what is America if not a dog that has locked itself in a bedroom and can't get out? What's that? It's literally anything else? That's fine. I don't know.
Maybe we are like a dog locked in a bedroom. I did that on purpose once because I was mad at my parents.
My dad had to come up through the window. Did you win the argument? Oh, yeah.
Oh, there you go. I like how the dog looks friendly and also like a little demon.
Yeah. That's also, that's my favorite kind of doorknob, the kind of crystal.
They're the easiest to manipulate. Oh, yeah.
Gorgeous doorknob. Yeah, they really fit nicely in your hand.
Yeah, they're nice. Tim Wall's gorgeous doorknob.
Is it the governor's mansion? Might be. That might be like the governor's residence.
Well, from last year. So, yeah.
Right? Yeah yeah i was staying in a fancy hotel once and uh with pundit uh and i left pundit there oh and while i was out for like two hours pundit somehow locked herself in the bathroom and then clawed her way out by break by clawing through the door oh no wow and like kind of like or like i don't know if she made all the way out, but like basically had like clawed off huge swaths of the door. I wouldn't have known how many hotels have you been banned from.
I wasn't banned from that hotel. I wasn't banned from that.
It's not the first time, I'm sure. I made that right.
I made that right. That, listen, that hotel has seen worse.
That's all I'll say. That's all I'll say about that hotel.
Okay. All right.
And, you know, you know. Is that the one where Brian broke a shower door? No, that was when we were.
Where were we on tour when? That was Pittsburgh. That was Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh Marriott. I shouldn't.
He didn't. The shower door broke on him.
And legally speaking, for insurance purposes, the shower door broke on him. He did not break the door.
Correct. Thank you for clarifying that.
Both AOC and Joe Manchin praise the pic with AOC tweeting, let's do this. If this houseboats are rocking, do come a-knocking, as a seal has probably got in again and is eating all of Joe Manchin's suits.
AOC, Manchin, and Pelosi meet in the bowels of the Greenbrier Hotel in West Virginia. AOC and Manchin seem terrified.
Nancy is resolved. The prophecy is coming to pass.
They turn the three keys and unlock the vault. I don't like that Joe Manchin had one of the keys.
I guess he did. Well, because the three of them were drinking that night when they hit that woman with their car.
How did that go around? We shouldn't have been drinking, says Joe Manchin. Shut up, shut up.
Shut the fuck up. And you're trapped in the bathroom listening? Clogging through the door? Harrison Wallace will appear in Philadelphia later on Tuesday for their first rally together.
Shapiro will also be at the rally as a speaker. I guess there's no way for him to not be there because it's in Philadelphia, but this does feel like inviting your most recent ex to your wedding and seating him in a dunk tank.
There was so much like no one ever learns about their efforts to predict the future. Like it's in Philadelphia, so it's gonna be shapiro and then it's definitely shapiro it's gotta be shapiro reporters saying it is shapiro shapiro has been selected it wasn't shapiro yeah it's okay just you know you don't need to know i was hoping they'd have all she'd have all four of them speaking at the end announce it that's why not i was really open to the most reality show version of this possible people were like, oh, she's already selected or it's going to be this person, it'll be that person.
And then they announced that those people are all one by one going to meet with Kamala Harris. Of course they're going to meet in person before she's made the decision.
She has to meet with them in person. It's the first and most important decision she will make until she's president.
And she did it.

She's got to find out if they smell wrong.

You got to know if they smell wrong.

There is a vibe.

You got to know the vibe.

The vibe matters.

Which is why Trump picked J.D. Vance.

He's like, Trump cannot perceive a vibe.

He clearly is not attuned.

So then you meet another crazy person who also can't perceive vibes.

You're like, ah, yes, we're the same.

It reminds me like when John, Tommy and I first started the company, the three of us would interview people together. And then the interview would end and we'd realize that the three of us had spoken the whole time and not really asked any questions.
And that's why we do them one at a time. But I imagine interviewing with Trump is a bit like that experience.
Like basically you sit down, Trump speaks for an hour without interrupting. He just projects onto you the entire time.

And then leaves and goes, I like that guy.

Yeah.

I think he's good.

That's the secret to success, though, really.

Yeah.

And who do we have to thank for Tim Walsh for VP?

That's right.

It's Nancy Pelosi who reportedly threw her weight behind him in the lead up to Harris'

decision.

And from all of us here at Crooked Nancy, let us just say.

Get a window!

Get a window!

Wow!

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to start your 30-day free trial. Look, Trump is in full meltdown mode in response to Kamala Harris's rise, but I have a feeling that story will keep until Thursday.
So the only other story I'm interested in today is RFK Jr.'s latest effort to win the weirdest all-around medal at the wealthy dilettante Olympics. The story starts when RFK Jr.
took some friends falconing in the Hudson Valley of New York. I was driving up maybe, you know, really early, like seven, and that woman in front of me hit a bear and killed it.
So everybody has moved on to how the story gets increasingly deranged from here. But I do want to pause there because from the beginning, look, I've said this before.
RFK Jr. rightly gets sorted into the maniac category.
Yes. He doesn't get enough attention in the other categories in which he fits, which is dilettante and liar.
Yeah. So I want to make sure we're doing a close reading of what RFK Jr.
says. So what do we know? We know it is early in the morning.
We also know that it was a Sunday. We know that because we know the bear cub was found Monday morning.
The roads would have been relatively quiet. And here he is saying a woman in a van in front of him hit a bear and killed it.
We get no more information. Given that he is saying he knows the gender of the driver, it must mean she stops.
Was she shaken up? Did he pull over to help? Did he see the impact or did he just slow down next to a car pulled over on the side of the road and decide to find out what happened? It's all a bit confusing. And it would seem to me that if he pulled over and found a woman by the side of the road having hit a bear with her car, he would have mentioned some salient fact about that exchange.
It is suspicious. It's a Sunday morning.
Everyone's in therapy. Yeah.
Shouldn't be anyone on the road. Everybody's in therapy Sunday mornings.
I'm shocked you jumped right over the falconing. I thought you would stop there for a second.
Well, I mean, we do have to discuss the falconing. Does anyone have any thoughts on the fact that that is where he was heading on Sunday? I mean, it didn't strike me as weird, but I thought it would strike you as weird.
Did he have the falcon in the car with him? Well, no, you don't. You don't.
You get the falcon there. But you know he's into birds.
We know he's into birds. I would say that here's what I think.
I think falconing as a hobby is kooky. Yeah.
It's Kendra weird. I can see you doing it.
We went to like every year in elementary school. We would go to the Raptor Trust for a field trip.
And of course you did. It was like a common field trip.
Yeah. No, of course.
Of course. And you put on the glove and had the bird in your arm? Yeah.
Yeah, for sure. Lots of bee stings.
What? There was just always someone will always get sung by a bee and like have an anaphylactic incident at the Raptor Trust. It was like just every year.
But that's not related to this. That's not.
That doesn't flow down. But it's a funny thing.
Anaphylactic incident is very funny. Not funny.
I mean, it's a funny turn of phrase. So from the jump, this is a bit, I don't know, odd, hard to make sense of, which is why the New Yorker's reporting by Claire Malone makes more sense in their telling, which RFK Jr.
was desperate to get ahead of by sharing this video on social media. Kennedy passed a furry brown mound on the side of the road, pulled over and discovered that it was the carcass of a black bear cub.
So that's the New Yorker's version of this same moment. Regardless, I just want us

to keep track of the time here. It is early in the morning.
There is a dead bear on the side of

the road. He pulls the car over, puts the bear cub in his van and continues on his way to falconing.

Because I was going to skin the bear and it was very good condition. And I was going to

and with the meat of my refrigerator. So I just he has found a bear on the side of the road.
And he wants to skin the bear and eat the meat. Sure.
Okay. Let's just, let's just clock.
I'm with him so far. Yeah.
Let's just keep an eye on time here. We know it is between 7 and 9 a.m.
Well, he probably opened that Falkyrie up right at 9 a.m.

He said he was going to meet them at 9.

He makes reference to 7.

It's roughly probably 90 minutes from Westchester to Goshen, New York.

So it's between 7 and 9 a.m.

The bear is dead.

It is early fall in New York.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Stunning.

The leaves are turning.

When he picks up that bear, he is somewhere between New York City and Goshen. We know it is already about 40 degrees.
The temperature is already at about 40 degrees. We know this because we know the date.
We know the date is Sunday, October 5th, 2014, because the story's in the press the next day once the bear is discovered Monday morning in Central Park. So the bear is in his van.
He

then tells us they just had too good of a time. We went hawking and I had the bear in my car.

And then we had a really good day and we went late. We were catching a lot of game and the

people really loved it. So we stayed late.
And instead of going back to my home in Westchester,

I had to go right to the city because there was a dinner at Peter Luger's Steakhouse.

Thank you. stayed late.
And instead of going back to my home in Westchester, I had to go right to the city because there was a dinner at Peter Luger's Steakhouse. So the bear is in his van all day.
The high temperature in Goshen, New York that day, which was Sunday, October 5th, 2014, was 59 degrees. Can't eat that bear meat.
That bear, which has not been field dressed, that bear, which as far as we know, still has all of its blood and guts, has been fucking cooking in the back of that van all day. And he says he doesn't have time to go to Westchester.
He goes directly to Peter Luger's Steakhouse in Brooklyn. Now, there's also a branching great neck, but he does say the city.
So I'm going to assume he went to the one in Brooklyn. You ever been in Williamsburg? You bet I've been.
Dynamite steak. Been to both.
Dynamite. I'm vegetarian, but I just know it's there.
It's good. I've been.
Yeah. When was my uncle? Shout out to my Uncle Jeff.
Love a classic old steak place. Yeah.
The point is, if you are going to Peter Luger from Goshen, New York, it is very, very, very likely that you are driving right by or through Westchester. Here we have the map.
That is the route from Goshen, New York to Peter Luger in Brooklyn. The arrow is pointing to Westchester.
Even if you take this route, it is a 10-minute detour. And frankly, you could have gone over the Tappan Z and gone up more of a straight drive.
Exactly, exactly. Giving him the benefit of the doubt.
It is at worst a 10 minute detour. And frankly, you could have gone over the Tappan Z and gone up more of a straight line.
Exactly. Exactly.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt. It is at worst a 10 minute detour to Westchester on a roughly 90 minute to two hour drive.
I would say it is a worthwhile detour, given that there is a rotting bear carcass in your van for the better part of a day, a day in which the high temperature was pushing 60 fucking degrees. If you're listening to this on the podcast, Lovett has pulled out a ball of red string.
But no, but no, but no. He goes right to Peter Luger's steakhouse in Brooklyn.
And now the dinner goes late because, again, everyone is having just too much fun. And at the end of the dinner, it went late and I realized I couldn't go home.
I had to go to the airport and the bear was in my car and I didn't want to leave the bear in the car because that would have been bad. So first of all, first moment in this, he has hinted at having any sort of judgment because I think we'd all agree that leaving a rotting bear carcass at the airport is probably not the best move.
As he says, bad. It would have been bad.
That's the only word for it. My thing about it is, and this is, again, I have ADHD, so my memory is all over the place to to put a bear in your car and have a full day plan before a flight is again that's why you can't be president because you didn't plan ahead that's insane yeah going from big steak dinner to airplane falconing to big steak dinner to the airport and you were like wait a minute i've got the bear carcass for even if he hadn't stopped and picked up a rotting roadkill bear.
Yeah. Think of the odors wafting off of RFK Jr.
after a drive upstate, a day of outdoor falconing, a full fucking 1950s style steak dinner, then directly to a red eye flight. when this guy arrives at his destination, he is wafted.

He smells. style steak dinner than directly to a red eye flight when this guy arrives at his destination he is wafted he smells like a fucking bear carcass by the time he got to i don't know london yeah where was the rest of the game well yeah i guess he gave it to other people great question yeah because like if he can't go home he's not he's not taking it so like that's what i wanted like did they do something with the rest of the game that maybe they could have done with the bear carcass? That's such an important question.
He has said that they got a lot of game on their day of falconing and hawking. He keeps the bear, but they have all the other means.
And I'm assuming it's like probably squirrels and pheasants and that sort of. Smaller, yeah.
Whatever you assume is good with me on this question. But I think to your point, these are clearly people you could say to them,

hey, by the way,

I did pick up a bear carcass.

Could you take it?

And they would say,

my God, man,

it's been in your car for hours.

You can't eat that meat anymore.

And you'd say,

shut up.

I'm taking it to Peter Lugers.

Fuck you.

Clearly somebody said something

and he said,

I absolutely don't need to do that.

You can't eat the meat,

but like, okay,

I guess I'm going to put this in the cooler for you because I get that you want the fur. Maybe you want the fur.
So okay. Dinner's running late.
Gotta catch a flight. Bears are so much sick.
Is this a commercial flight? I think we should presume it's a commercial flight. Yeah we got time.
He has to be there at a certain time. He's very rich.
Sure. Yes.
He's also insane. I think it doesn't really affect what comes next because a private flight would make the story worse, not better.
So let's assume it's a commercial flight. Again, he's got a bear carcass in his trunk.
He's got to catch a flight. What do you do? He decides the only logical next step is to stage a crime scene in Central Park where it is made to seem as though the bear was perhaps hit by a passing bicyclist.
So everybody thought that's a great idea. So we went and did that and we thought it would be amusing for whoever found it or something.
Far be it our job here to try to make sense of a plan as nonsensical as this. Once you're at the stage of bringing a bear carcass into Central Park to freak the squares, I guess, it's hard to bring logic to it.
But again, I must return to the map. If you're watching, if you're listening at home, we are looking at a map.
On the map, you have Peter Luger's circled in Brooklyn. You have the three arrows pointing to the three major airports.
You have LaGuardia, which is 15 minutes from Peter Luger. You have JFK, which is in the opposite direction of Manhattan.
And you have Newark, which is in New Jersey. There is no way in which to go to any of these airports.
You are not taking a significant, silly detour to get to Central Park with this bear. It is something that would have added a ton of time to a trip he is claiming he has to make because of how late the dinner went and because he has to catch a flight.
It doesn't make sense. Unless he's driving up to White Plains or going to Bergen County.
But even still, there is no reason to go into Manhattan, into midtown Manhattan, to bring this fucking bear into Central Park. At that point, just bring it home to Westchester.
Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, right.
If he's going to which is why please is Westchester.

He would have dropped it off at home.

I think it's like when he say we thought it was amusing. I think we have to remember that comedy is all about timing.
And it seems like the part of his brain, the worm diddy was timing because the timing of this just doesn't make any goddamn sense. Though, if what his plan was, was to hide a bear in Central Park, the timing of it taking a decade to find out that he was the culprit is that is funny that's a good joke yeah you're right that's a good joke also just add rfk jr jokingly seriously suggested that this bear is where he got his brain worm so at the point that he's doing all this he's presumably brain worm free well we can't i mean this is his full brain functioning at full capacity yeah yeah wasn't there wasn't there a note somewhere are we gonna watch where he says like everyone but him is drunk so in the moment we just seen he does say that the people at peter luger have been drinking when this plant is hatched but not him because he doesn't drink because he had a substance abuse problem right uh the point is it makes zero sense to say there's no time to go home so we should should go all the way to Central Park.
That is an insane detour to make. Regardless, if he had a red eye after dinner, which is what it would have to be, that bear cub has been rotting for at least 12 hours without being dressed, without being refrigerated.
The meat is not edible. Right? You had a pig growing up.
You can't eat that bear. I don't even know.
I mean, I guess you could eat bear meat. You can't eat bear.
But I think, yeah, you got to get that right in the fridge immediately. It's full of worms.
Or field dress it, right? You've hunted. What? Well, you talk about guns all the time.
You just talked about going falconing. I don't hunt.
I'm not saying you do hunt, but you have gone hunting. No, actually, I haven't.
Really? hey guys crazy pitch let's go hunting but i know like i in the area where i grew up which is close to where we're talking about like i grew up in an area where deer hunting was very regular yeah yeah you know i'd want to ask this is tim walsh is there a correct way to eat roadkill though um yes you yeah is this this is done yes yes i would say that that it is i think that like obviously if it's been you know there's a tire track across the center of it you kind of want to maybe maybe pass but i think if you just smashed into a deer and get on the side of the road well that's dinner baby that's why he has to say that he saw someone hit it yes because the truth of the matter is probably it was already lying they're dead. And probably by the time he picked it up, he shouldn't have been eating it.
Of course. It starts from a place of, you should not be eating this thing that you found.
You don't know how long it's been there. Unless we are assuming that he saw this woman.
I do not believe that for a second. I don't either.
I believe that this, in the worm-ravish mind of RFK Jr., was an attempt to spin an unspinnable story.

By the way, worth noting,

if you haven't seen this,

you won't guess who he's telling the story to.

He's telling the story to Roseanne Barr,

who, by the way, is a fucking nut job.

And she is even like,

what am I doing here with this lunatic?

Yeah, her face only just like falls

as it goes on like, uh-oh.

Because RFK Jr. is telling the story like, can you believe this? Don't you hate it when this happens? But she's like- I'm trying to spin this now.
It's like, uh-oh. So I don't know why he decided to pick up that bear on the side of the road, but his version of the story simply does not hang together.
And thanks to Claire Malone at The New Yorker for uncovering this story and this photo, which shows him pretending to be bitten by the bear on the side of the road.

My view on all this is he's trying to add this idea that he was going to eat the bear when he just thought it was funny and he found a dead bear.

There was never any possibility of eating the meat.

I don't know what he thought he was going to do with it, but he's trying to make the story seem logical when he pulled over and put a dead bear in his car for no reason whatsoever. What do we do with this guy? Again, I just don't think that he should be the president.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
I don't think we have a lot to worry about there. And finally, Paul Valter Antony Amarotti's Olympic dreams were crushed when this happened.
That's right. What happened here, Coach Judy? Other way down.
For those listening, that sound you heard was the sound of his penis ruining his chances of winning an Olympic medal because it knocked off the ball, the pole there.

It hit the thing.

The bar.

Pole on pole violence.

Pole on pole violence.

He's also hot, which goes to show God does occasionally give with both hands or from the looks of it. Three.
It's always nice when a public humiliation turns into your greatest personal advertisement. Like when my pants fell down on stage last week and everybody could see I'm a funny person who tries his best.
I think he's been offered $250,000 for like a live. How much do they offer you?

That's in the range.

Just a loose handful of nickels thrown on the table.

Yeah, just some Polynesian sauce from Chick-fil-A.

Just an old dead bear carcass thing I'm kicking around the back of the van.

It's cool for whoever found the bear carcass.

Did you not like wander through? I had a friend whose backyard bordered on the South Mountain Reservation when I was younger. And we would like go in there and be like, oh, wouldn't it be cool if we found something? Yeah, but it wouldn't be funny.
That's what's crazy about the pitch is like, oh, it'll be funny if someone finds it. It's like, I wouldn't feel humor in that moment.
I feel like I'd feel sad. Not funny, but it would be awesome.
If you're like a middle school and you find a dead bear carcass while you're walking your dog. There's a real Great Gatsby, Roaring Twenties vibe to this day that he had.
This sort of frivolous, careless, reckless day. The, the, the, the like, the like, loose drunken discussion at Peter Luger in Brooklyn about let's go bring this fucking bear carcass into Central Park and put an old bicycle on top of it to make a joke about bicycles, I guess, to leave it for some horrified morning dog walker to discover.
At the end, the bear's mom shoots him and he falls into a pool. It's a real Roger Sterling, Duck Phillips lunch.
Yes. Yes.
What were you saying? I'm just everyone sweating the whole day. Yeah, they're all always sweating.
Always, always sweating. Just imagining the kind of laughter around that table and imagining myself at that table and just hating it and also you're the only sober one there just sort of like it's crazy trying to remember that at least it got a good stake out of it it's kind of funny to imagine the kennedy curse is still there but it's diluted to the point that it's just like he has just weirder and weirder stories come out about you all the time.
Right. It's like now at least the bodies in the car are not our animal.
Hey, that's a step up. You know, now we're dealing with that.
But again, it's like he made this so much worse, right? Like if you just run the alternate scenario where he didn't post this video, where he told this story to Roseanne, and there's just a strange bit in the New Yorker story, it probably would have been better for him. Yeah, what if the New Yorker story just come out and then he just said, that didn't happen? Right.
Well, they have the picture. That's why he screwed.
That's why I had to admit it. They have the picture of him with the bear.
That's true. I think it wouldn't be better.
Yeah, it wouldn't be better if it just had come out versus it came out anyways. And now we have you telling this tale to a horrified Roseanne Barr.
Like it doesn't it just compounds the story in the imagination of society.

Yeah, I also just like, I don't know what it's like to grow up as RFK Jr.

But you do get the sense that there's a lot of hangers on and people laughing and going with the flow of whatever you want.

And like kind of always having that access to always having that. But there's a lot of hangers-on and people laughing and going with the flow of whatever you want.

And, like, kind of always having that access to – always having that money. Always having that lifestyle.
Really, that's the brain worm. Yeah.
Yeah. That's the brain worm.
Wealth. See you next Saturday.
Bear meat. music music

music

music Bear meat.

Thank you. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production.
It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.
Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana del Shiki are our writers.
Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Lander. Thank you.
I also want to say that J.D. Vance is booba, but he's like a dark booba.
He's booba's Wario. It's not quite the same.
Yes. He's like a Langelier from the movie The Langoliers.
If anyone's seen that. Oh, I have.
It's come up on this show frequently i love it it's one of my faves i really like the way that movie and it was a book first i suppose or a story um makes you think about time in a different way yeah that there is no past that you couldn't time travel because the future doesn't exist and the paths get eaten by monsters. I really like it.

You know, dance like nobody's watching, live like the Langoliers right behind you.

B is for bum, Craig.