What a Weekday: Cat Ladies, Crypto, and Court Reform

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I think I could do pommel horse. Oh my God.
I'm so sorry. I'm not allowing that.
What are you doing? I think you'd probably get onto a pommel horse physically. I don't know about that.
Bum, bum, ba-dum, bum, bum, no helping. Bum, bum, ba-dum, bum, bum, ba-dum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
No one chimes in. B Never helped me He got this And we're back I'm here with Sarah I'm here with Sarah.
I'm here with Kendra. I'm here with Hallie.
Hi. For another edition of What a Weekday.
Let's get into it. What a Weekday.
On Friday, Donald Trump addressed a Christian audience in West Palm Beach, Florida and told them this. Christians get out and vote just this time.
You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years.
You know what? It'll be fixed. It'll be fine.
You won't have to vote anymore. Continued Trump.
Enough of this pesky voting. Christians need to spend their time doing what Christians love.
Kissing pictures of Jesus, praying for me to win at golf, whatever you freaks are into. I mean, whatever us freaks are into.
This was circulated as like Donald Trump will end democracy. And I do believe he would love to do that.
But this is also an example of Donald Trump doing a riff he's done before, but just in a worse way. He does this riff and it's a riff about how Democrats steal elections through voter fraud, all fix the voter fraud.
If there weren't Democratic voter fraud, we'd win in a landslide every time like that's that's what he's i mean that's also a lie and an effort to undermine democracy but like that's the specific way in this case he was trying to undermine democracy it's just hard because it's like so much of this requires us to sift through his incoherent ramblings for meaning yeah i got another canon yeah you the canon. Yeah, you really do.
It was pretty coherent to me.

He said, it'll be fixed.

He said the quiet part out loud.

That's true.

That's the flip side,

is what he actually said.

Right.

Then on Saturday,

Trump spoke at the annual

Bitcoin convention

in Nashville, Tennessee,

promising to ensure

that America becomes

the crypto capital of the planet

and the Bitcoin superpower

of the world.

And if I,

he went on to say, and if I become president, I pledge that we will get a woman to attend this conference. Yeah! Trump also delivered this berserk warning.
If they win this election, every one of you will be gone. They will be vicious.
They will be ruthless. They will do things that you wouldn't believe.

But right now, because of me, they're leaving you alone. So please say thank you, President Trump.
Thank you very much. They'll blow up the blockchain, blow it right up with a big stick of dynamite.
You've never seen a blockchain in so many pieces. So there is some kind of actual argument under all of this, which is actually even worse.
Democrats and many Republicans do worry about the ridiculous, unregulated digital market as a nexus of corruption, crime, abuse, trafficking, fraud, and ruin for people sucked into the promise of quick wealth. But he's saying, don't worry, I'm corrupt.
So you won't have to worry about that if I win. I am a corrupt person.
In fact, my corruption is so powerful, it can move backwards through time and prevent regulation before I'm even president. Then there was this.
But we will be creating so much electricity that you'll be saying, please, please, president, we don't want any more electricity. We can't stand it.
You'll be begging me, no more electricity, sir. We have enough.
We have enough. Now, everybody is focusing on how ridiculous this sounds and it does sound ridiculous, but it's wrong on its face.
So, again, like we get focused on how insane he is. And then if you translate it, it's even worse because Trump did not pass an infrastructure bill.
Biden signed an infrastructure bill. Biden signed the Inflation Reduction Act to bring more wind power and solar and clean energy into the grid.
Biden actually addresses and solves the problems that Trump is claiming only he can fix. He just wants to go around sounding like the guy who's going to get in there and fix something, but he doesn't care or know how to fix anything.
Trump is like you, critiquing Olympians on the couch. Look at that.
You can't pike like that and not lose points. Well, they can't.
And they can't. Unless you're the U.S.
Women's Gymnastics team, in which case

you got a buffer. No spoilers, because

I think I'm a few, you know, we're on

French time, you know?

The other thing, too, is one thing I'm frustrated

by in the Olympic coverage

every single Olympics

is that the judges

are so biased towards

our athletes that they're like, that's the

greatest routine I've ever seen. And then it gets like a 14 instead of a 14.5.
Like, that's wrong. That's wrong.
And it's like, well, can I just – can we just – can you just help us? I don't – like, I don't – look, this isn't 2016. I don't need to tell me why Hillary is going to win.
You know what I mean? Like, what's going on here? I want the hard facts. Well, you got to watch the World Feed commentators, not the NBC commentators.
No, that's worse. That's worse.
I don't want to hear worse. I want, I want.
You want the bias. I want, yes.
On some level, I do want. I want a little less.
I want it here and there. I guess here's what I want.
I want unvarnished, unbiased, fact-based coverage by people rooting for Americans at every turn. You know, there's apparently a feed where, that Peacock apparently has a feed where NBC does.
The the highlights and it's just events that Americans have won yes I was like oh Olympic highlights perfect I haven't seen anything yet and it was just Americans winning and winning and winning it's called I think it's called all medals yeah something like Austin was just telling me about this it's basically like a porn compilation for the Olympics just like I don't want to see Americans fall I don't want to see Americans lose I't want to see some Romanian outswim us by seven-tenths of a second. I want to watch Americans winning medals over and over and over again.
And I love that for us. Give that dopamine.
Here's how Trump concluded his speech. Thank you all.
Have a good time with your Bitcoin and your crypto and everything else that you're playing with. Enjoy your Nintendos.
This fucking guy. I feel like he intentionally switched his tie to make himself look worse.
Again, that's not intentional. He always has the blue suit and the red tie.
And this is different and worse. And I'm like, I guess he knows his audience.
The shiny blue is bouncing up and highlighting the orange and also the fake blonde of the hair more. It's wild.
Honestly, I think it looks good. I think it's a good day for him.
They got love it. They got me.
I just like that he can't hide his disdain for this because the only thing he knows about Bitcoin is that Don Jr. is super into it.
And that's his only point of reference. So you're all just little fuck-ups, aren't you? Yeah.
He also can't take it seriously. It's so stupid.
Listen, the man knows the scam. Yeah.
And he's only here because Don Jr. is into it and his rich donors are into it.
He's got the backing of these rich crypto people that are basically treating Trump as just a direct investment, right? Let's invest this money in Trump. He'll protect crypto.
We'll make more money. So he's like, have fun with your Bitcoins or whatever, which is like the – that's why it's like the silliness of this is what's getting covered, the electricity thing, have fun with your crypto and your Bitcoins.
It's like the rampant corruption of it, right? Like if you take what he is saying and translate it, it translates into direct corruption, which seems to me a bigger deal. Yeah, he wants to make a deal.
That's why he's like, I'm here to make a deal. That's all you do now.
On Saturday night, Trump held a rally in St. Cloud, Minnesota and put the final nail into the unity coffin.
I want to be nice. They all say, I think he's changed.
I think he's changed since two weeks ago. Something affected him.
No, I haven't changed. Maybe I've gotten worse, actually.
I hope every reporter out there who fell for Trump's new tone again takes a long, hard look at themselves in the bowl of clam chowder that Trump told them is a mirror. You can't see yourself in a bowl of clam chowder? But by God, they'll try.
Now I want clam chowder. It's before noon, Hallie.
It's chowder o'clock somewhere. Before Labor Day? Trump claimed that if he doesn't win in Minnesota in November, it will be because the election was stolen.
If they don't cheat, we win this state easily, okay? They cheat. They have no shame.
They cheat. Do you understand that, you crooked people? They're the most crooked.
They cheat. They cheated in the last election, and they're going to cheat in this election, but we're going to get them.
Always nice to get a name check. We're telling to you that he's in Minnesota, which is probably not where he would go had he known that Kamala Harris would be the nominee because the polling out of Minnesota has gotten...
He's like 10 points back. Yeah, it's just we're back to where we kind of hope because this was, you know, Minnesota, Virginia.

These were the places where they were going to kind of show strength.

And now he's in Minnesota.

But I mean, maybe it helps him in Wisconsin, but he's not competitive in Minnesota anymore.

So they have really not.

They still haven't fully adjusted to the fact that Kamala is the nominee.

But let's check in on a man who has not admitted to fucking a couch in a bestselling memoir, but who has a private life. And we don't really know anything about that.
I'm speaking, of course, about Johnny Depp Vance. Sunday Fox News host Trey Gowdy raked J.D.
Vance over the coals for criticizing Kamala Harris and other Democratic leaders as childless before welcoming him onto the show. And it's not just Catholic knots.
Some of the finest people I know don't have children, teachers and guidance counselors and lawyers and doctors, and they love other people's children enough to teach and guide and protect and minister to them. Some people choose not to have children.
Others desperately want them, but they can't. Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Trey Gowdy, a beautiful tradition.
Gowdy concluded, the American people are forgiving if we ask. But Vance didn't apologize for his childless cat lady comments.
Instead, he said this. If you look at the full context of what I said, it's very clear the Democrats have tried to take this thing out of context and blow it out of proportion, which is what they always do, Trey, because they don't have an agenda to run on themselves.
But here's the problem. This isn't out of context.
This is something J.D. Vance has said over and over and over again.
As Andrew Kaczynski and M. Stein of CNN and others have noted, in September of 2021, Vance posted, the cat ladies, man, they must be stopped.
In a fundraising email, he described the serious issue of radical childless leaders in this country. Fighting back won't be easy.
Our childless opponents have a lot of free time. Or you can see Vance making this argument here.
There's just these basic cadences of life that I think are really powerful and really, really valuable when you have kids in your life. And the fact that so many people, especially in America's leadership class, just don't have that in their lives.
You know, I worry that it makes people more sociopathic and ultimately our whole country a little bit less mentally stable. You go on Twitter and almost always the people who are most deranged and most psychotic are people who don't have kids at home.
Or you can see him make the exact same argument here. If you're a childless adult living in Newark City, you probably care more about your house cleaner than you do about the children of America.
We've allowed the Democrats to become dominated by a bunch of sociopaths who don't care about America's children. There is no broader context that makes this less offensive.
It's actually quite difficult to figure out how to make these comments worse by taking them out of context. Childless cat ladies must be stopped so that I can buy them ice cream.
These gals are moving too fast. Childless cat ladies must be stopped.
They're making me too horny. Vance also tried to defend his comments by straight up lying about Kamala Harris's position on the child tax credit.
I think a lot of parents and a lot of non-parents look at our public policy over the last four years and ask, how did we get to this place? How did we get to a place where Kamala Harris is calling for an end to the child tax credit?

How did we get to this place I made up?

And furthermore, who put all these sexy, sexy couches here?

Kamala Harris is not against the child tax credit.

Democrats are for the child tax credit.

Democrats are who push for the child tax credit.

If the child tax credit has been extended, it has been because Democrats fought for it

and Republicans eventually acceded to it as part of a negotiation. Right now, there's an extension of the child tax credit that's locked up in the Senate because they don't have the votes.
Why do they not have the votes? Because of Republicans. There is like – we don't need to – like it is just such a clean argument.
Like Democrats are for the child tax credit. Republicans aren't.
But it is like – there is a – there is like a deeper philosophical substantive point that jd vance is making here and the way he often has made it in the past like if you get into this sort of like you know traditional conservative argument like one what he has said in the past is uh i am i am more i am more open to an extension of the child tax credit than I am to a universal child care benefit. Why? Because their view is universal child care subsidizes parents who both work, which they view as not as good as having a stay-at-home parent, which is a stay-at-home mom.
And so a child tax credit doesn't push – doesn't reward both parents for working. It just rewards you however you want to raise your children.
However, how this manifests is they oppose both, but oppose one more, right? In both cases, parents are not getting the help they need financially to raise children. It is Democrats fighting to provide families with that help and to provide resources to people who might want to have families.
The only way in which Republicans are trying to incentivize people to have children is to call them weird or terrible, is to call them bad people if they don't have kids. That's it.
We will make it illegal for you to make choices about your body, so you have to have children. And then once you do, you're on your fucking own.
And if you do a bad job, that's on you. If you don't't have kids that's because there's something wrong with you like what a fuck like even if you take it in the most generous way possible it is a despicable worldview well as a bunch of childless cat ladies here i was just like we're all childless cat ladies it really speaks to how he talks about we don't have an agenda they don't have an argument anymore and that's because the argument has been slowly undermined by the advancement of women, black people, queer people, trans people.
We have passed the point in time in which you could humiliate me into what, getting married to a man and having a child so J.D. Vance doesn't like me? They have to make such an extreme argument, which, by the way, he to me reminds me of Elon Musk, where he doesn't actually he doesn't actually care about his own children, because if he did, he'd be like, oh my God, we have to fix climate change.
We have to make sure they have actual schooling. Like, he would be looking forward.
He would understand that his children are part of a pool of children that we are all responsible for, but he can't see it. His children are a cudgel or an argument to use over people, in this case, Kamala Harris, but it has nothing to do with the actual children.
And I just feel like for our side, at least it's so transparent that this is the argument he has to make where it's like, I am grateful to be a childless, I don't even have a cat. You are making the argument, do you want to get a cat? I'm very allergic to cats.
Do you guys want to get a cat and share it? You want to share a cat? I want to get a hairless cat. Like one of the, they kind of look like little aliens.

Not for everybody.

But I think it's like,

this is what it comes down to.

It's like,

there is no proactive argument to be made

because the proactive argument would be,

oh,

if you want to have kids,

let's provide these financial incentives

or let's actually help people

who want to have children.

They have no investment

because they don't want to do that.

They want to make money off Bitcoin

and then fuck everyone over.

And like,

also for the record,

like,

so I grew up with a stay-at-home mom. My mom did not work until I was out of college, and that was because of divorce.
And being a stay-at-home mom, she was on the library board, she was doing various activities and stuff. And hell, if I could just stay home and maybe occasionally go interview Kerry Washington every once in a while for some fun money, would and that's a valid choice however we're not set up economically to do that and that's also their fault but so this is well part of it though this is why it's like all this stuff ties together so there has been a turn right like there's been a turn against democracy and there's been a turn against freedom on that side.
Why? Because what they want to do is create a permission structure to say your decisions are not wholly your own because the way you live your life is forcing me to live my life a certain way. You being trans forces me to raise my children away.

You wanting to get married forces me to cater your wedding or whatever.

And part of it, is you being a cosmopolitan, childless couple in which the man and woman see themselves as equals and both providing for the household has created economic conditions that require my spouse to work. And you're forcing that on us.
And these liberal values are being inflicted on us, so we are well within our rights to try to restrict your basic freedoms to protect our way of life. Like, that's the underlying kind of, that's how you get back to the, like, fascistic authoritarian control, because this is all part, This is the kind of that's how you get back to the like fascistic authoritarian control because they this is all part this is the kind of the edge of a kind of permission to restrict other people's freedom and way of living that you don't agree with because you're trying to make an argument that it's hurting you i also think the childless part is all a part of this uh i always think of marjorie taylor green um going on 60 minutes and saying that all democrats are pedophiles like this is connected to this idea that you should be afraid and isolate your family and your children from other people in your community rather than which is the reality which is we all live in community so when trey gowdy says like well nuns don't have kids and like they're counselors and teachers like yeah so you should talk to the people in your party about the argument they're making that's not on us yes this will also hurt people on your side this will also affect childless conservative people who they will then be excised out and who also we do need like we do need childless librarians or soccer coach like we do need people who don't have kids to help raise our children that's not you bitch that's not on like that's what makes this clip great right because actually trey gaudi is doing that and you have to remember so so first of all everybody should go watch it i mentioned the ps8 you should go see trey gaudi make this argument because actually quite moving and you should watch it remembering that jd vance is sitting in a studio in some swing state with an an IFB in his ear, listening to Trey Gowdy for six minutes speak passionately about why he finds this argument so ugly.
But that wasn't the end of J.D. Vance slipping up.
In a recording reported by The Washington Post Monday, Vance privately fretted over Kamala Harris replacing Biden and CNN shared the audio. The bad news is that Kamala Harris does not have the same baggage as Joe Biden because whatever we might say, Kamala Harris is a lot younger.

And Kamala Harris is obviously not struggling in the same ways that Joe Biden did.

And thank God nobody wants Joe Biden's baggage.

Imagine what's in there.

Some 50-year-old undershirts because they don't make them like this anymore. An ice cream stained dop kit and discontinued pomade.
A lambskin condom from that. Remember that when we used to have those.
Down there deep there in the bottom that he's had since before Jill. Leave us a comment.
Do they still make lambskin condoms? Some people are allergic to latex. You're right.
Leave Hallie a comment.

Leave me a comment.

Make sure to address that one to Hallie. Thanks.
On Monday, Donald Trump sat down with Fox and Laura Ingraham to defend J.D. Vance.
He made a statement having to do with families. That doesn't mean that people that aren't a member of a big and beautiful family with 400 children around and everything else.
It doesn't mean that a person doesn't have,

he's not against anything,

but he loves family.

That's what you want.

You want the top of the ticket going out there

and trying to salvage the reputation of the VP candidate.

Do you know how bad your rollout has to be going

that they have to send out Donald Trump

to clean up your stupid insults,

that your stupid insults are so bad

that Donald Trump is going out there to try to humanize you and fix it. That's bananas.
It's like sending Godzilla to clean up Eric Adams in New York. Sure, more people are excited to see him, but he's not going to undestroy Midtown.
Meanwhile, Vice President Harris said she will be at next month's presidential debate, which Biden and Trump previously agreed to, whether Trump decides to attend or not. Said her spokesperson, if Donald Trump and his team are saying anything other than we'll see you there, and it appears that they are, it's a convenient but expected backtrack from Team Trump.
Vice President Harris will be there on September 10th. We'll see if Trump shows.
You'll know if Trump is planning to show, because a few hours before the debate, the Secret Service comes into his hotel and checks most of the places that an assassin could hide, as long as they're not up a ladder or down a spooky hallway or anything. Actor Jeff Bridges stopped by the white dudes for Harris Zoom Monday, saying, I'm white, I'm the dude, and I'm for Harris.
Incredible. The non-horse star of Seabiscuit.
The Zoom call had over 140,000 attendees signed up and raised over $2.5 million. And that sounds impressive until you found out that they raised $5 million to bring David Crosby back to life.
It was white dudes. Because it was white dudes.
A week in, Kamala Harris' campaign is still taking shape, but one important talking point has emerged amongst her allies. Republicans are fucking weird.
I love this direction. If there's one thing this country hates, it's weird shit.
We like Taylor Swift and generic sports bars and wooden signs in the kitchen that say, eat, and mid-century modern Pinterest boards and weddings that look like all the other weddings. And one day we'll break out of that.
But for now, Republicans are fucking weird. I also, people have been making this point online, there's also good weird and bad weird.
You know? We just need more words for weird. Traditionally weird is stigmatized, and we're stigmatizing the actual horrible people because there is a weirdness that we do need access to, especially on our side.
We got some weird people with good ideas. I think there's weird subgenre creepy.
There's weird subgenre kooky. There's weird subgenre funky.
And I believe they've used the word creepy, right? We're talking creepy. When the Republicans were smart, they would try to muddy this and they would go with keep America weird, but they're not, you don't have to worry about that that's a good point if they were to suddenly take it from us then we'd have to pivot cut that don't give them ideas i was watching the olympics last night and just just being in bed watching the american gymnastics team competing while just scrolling through conservatives trying to logic their way out of

being weird. I've never been more

patriotic in my whole life. It was unbelievable.

Well, actually, being

called weird is feminine, and you're

the weird ones. If you

believe you're the ones going on RuPaul's

Drag Race, like, okay, yep,

that's it. Talk yourselves out of it.

Sounds like some shit a weird guy would say.

Yeah, absolutely.

Unbelievable.

As prospective VP candidate and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz put it at a labor rally on Saturday. These guys are just weird.
That's who they are. So it isn't much else.
Don't give them the power. Weird? That's an absurd accusation, said Rudy Giuliani, waking up next to a dead stoat on a trampoline in an unfamiliar neighborhood.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
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On Monday, The Washington Post published an op-ed from President Biden in which he unveiled his sweeping proposal to reform the Supreme Court, calling for term limits and a binding code of ethics to restore trust and accountability. Clarence Thomas read it after talking at Fuerteventura, and boy is he pissed and excited to snorkel, but pissed.
Biden's plan involves a constitutional amendment called the No One is Above the Law Amendment,

establishing that there is no immunity for criminal acts committed by a president while in office.

Wrote the president, we are a nation of laws, not of kings or dictators.

Boy, do we love making kings, don't we?

Used to be you could look back at the Habsburgs and say, no dice.

Now a dead ringer for Charles II is selling Samuel Alito on an app that electrocutes your genitals

when you see the pummel horse guy on the men's gymnastics team. They're very weird.
They're weird. They're weird.
Did you see the pommel horse guy? I did see the pommel horse guy, and that guy's got it. Fantastic.
What a fantastic, like just sort of fortuitous, like he's just napping for hours, and then someone taps him on the shoulder, and he's like, time to pommel horse. He's doing his visualizations.
Awesome. Awesome.
You don't think he was napping? No, he's literally doing his visualizations. Maybe a little napping? It could be both.
No napping at all? None. Hours? I think he's really getting into the zone.
It's paying off. I'm sure he is.
I'm sure he is. I thought it was cool.
Biden's plan also involves term limits and establishes that one president cannot radically alter the makeup of the court. Instead, a president can appoint a justice every two years, and each justice would serve a term of 18 years.
18 years and they're gone? I like the sound of that, said Matt Gates. Concluded Biden, in America no one is above the law.
In America, the people rule. Well, not everyone.
There are people in America who sincerely use the word hubby and those people don't rule. But everybody else...

Kendra,

have you ever used the term hubby? I sure have not.

Yeah, I was going to say. It doesn't feel right.
Have you?

No. Hubby.

Hubby. No.
I think I've turned a corner on it.

I can see it. Not for me, but for others.

I feel like a lot of words

like that, the first use, it's like the fist

bump. It starts out ironically

and then over time it simply becomes part of your personality so i've heard multiple use the term uncomfy as uncomfortable and i think we got to stop that right now yeah i don't like that it's sort of like the australian the instinct to cutesy everything like brecky i find that just uncomfortable yeah i don't like that either i don't like that either and it's purely aesthetics there's nothing actually wrong with it. But it feels like there is.
They also say exy.

Well, I don't like that either. It's purely aesthetics.
There's nothing actually wrong with it. It feels like there is.
They also say exy. There's something about kiddos.
This all stems from kiddo discourse. I hate kiddos.
It does seem like there is more to it. Is it related to doggos? Yes, kiddos, dogg it does i think our like discomfort with it is more than aesthetic there is something about it's a self-infantilization rupaul says kiddo a lot that's where i've been hearing well so i don't i think that like a kind of like like i don't know an old school hollywood film executive saying kiddo that's fine we love yeah but it's like referring to your kids as kiddos and doggos.
You think it's infantilizing?

I think it's Disney adult adjacent.

There's something to it where it's like

you're allowed to enjoy it but to make it part of your personality

seems a bit

much. A bit much.
Right. It's a kind of

like performance of

it's like an affectation that

implies of

youth. But it's like there's a

guileless youth. It's

guileless but also like kind of

Thank you. it's like an affectation that implies a hat yes of youth is it but it's like there's a guileless youth it's um guileless but also like kind of um utopia quality to it like yes yeah this is a tv version of being people i think we talked about this at one point too that it's not funny but it's like a stand-in for being funny like it's sort of joke shapes yeah and that's from the internet like i feel like it's like you could sort of like that's of a millennial internet.
So imagine if you're Gen Z, you also meet people who you're like, well, that's just from TikTok. You don't have to like talk like that in real life.
Meanwhile, after Biden proposed the constitutional amendment and Supreme Court reforms, House Speaker Mike Johnson called Biden's plan dead on arrival. Coincidentally, that's the title of the Project 2025 chapter covering what to declare pregnant women with a fever waiting in hospital parking lots.

That was a tough one.

Biden was told by a reporter that Johnson called his plan dead on arrival on a noisy tarmac.

Let's read the official White House briefing transcript of the moment because it was so hard to hear.

So the reporter screams, Speaker Johnson said it's dead on arrival.

Biden replies, I think that's what he is. Then the reporter says that he is.
Then Biden says that he is dead on arrival. He later walked it back saying that the Speaker of the House is dead on arrival.
He later walked back saying that the Speaker of the House is dead on arrival, saying some version of his ideas are dead on arrival. Because obviously that was, I think, too intense.
But it wasn't a big deal because everyone basically basically gets that Biden being president now is like a straight-A kid after the APs, but before graduation. Even the teachers are glad they're finally experimenting with being a bad boy.
Ooh, you cut class. You said the Speaker of the House is dead.
Cool, go for it. Have a good time.
You've been working so hard. You've earned it.
The Paris Olympics, which you've already been discussing, because we're patriots, began on Friday with an opening ceremony featuring heavy metal shooting flames and a chorus of decapitated Marie Antoinette's. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
The aristocrats will be lit. Are they French-American or are they just from L.A.? I think just from L.A.
Oh, full of a realtor that I followed helped one of them get into a house. My favorite part of the opening ceremonies is when the rat from Ratatouille blew up the Eiffel Tower.
It was a big move. It was awesome.
Religious conservatives went into a tizzy over what many assumed was a take on Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper featuring queer people, drag queens, and a half-nude man painted blue. In Paris, of course, they just call this a dinner.

However, the ceremony's creative director clarified that it was not the Last Supper, but rather a Greek bacchanalia, a Kinsey III, in other words. It's also amazing that American conservatives saw this, decided to be angry because it reminded them of an Italian painting of a famous moment in the Bible, which is itself in part inspired by other pagan rituals and iconography.
And also this is maybe the pedantic point where it's like, well, the whole point of Jesus is that he hung out with tax collectors and sex workers. Like this is of a piece of what Jesus actually was into.
They just don't want to admit that. It's just so funny to look at this naked blue man with a beard and grapes on his head and say, like, in some way, I believe this is anti-Christian.
I can't put my finger on it. So I think part of this, and I'm not excusing this in any way, the controversy is all very stupid.
I think part of what happened is that the NBC feed did not get the blue man. We only got the sort of tablescape behind the blue man, whereas the world feed, again, we cannot rely on NBC.
That's a really good this we we listen we can tolerate dissent i'd love it or leave it but we will not have the national broadcasting company insulted during this recording i get that hoda and savannah got a feed on the youth but we if they don't do a great job it does provide a lot of context yeah that feels like a big misstep to not have the blue man and that was like part of my problem they were showing this part and then the fashion show that followed but they couldn't decide what they wanted to focus on so we were missing a lot of the context of what this was yeah and going back to the boats yeah i would say this inside of what you just described is a problem and it is not mbc's problem it is france's fucking problem i don't know whether to go back to the giant blue man at the Hieronymus Bosch fucking Bacchanalia or the fashion show or the boats full of wet athletes going down the polluted Seine. This is a France problem, not an NBC problem.
No, I agree. We should have stayed here, but NBC refused to stay here.
And they weren're prudes because because who yeah because you don't think this plays in middle America well I will say that's the issue is it's like don't worry it's not the last summer it's just sort of a sex party from ancient Greece queer we didn't even touch the threesome remember the part in the opening ceremony where the three people like disappear into the hotel room I mean it's what we know about france cheese menage a trois they fucking name the thing what are we not gonna have at least one come on also the idea that the last supper the painting is some sort of sacred religious image yes very funny that's also very funny like that yes um like like how um i do think that a lot of people assume that what happens in Dante's Inferno is like in the Bible over at the Olympic Village the Paris officials relented on their air conditioning ban allowing athletes to bring their own AC which American athletes did in droves how many more times are we going to have to fly over to liberate this fucking country? No AC? The story was so funny because like, what? You can have 79 degrees. Is it not too hot? Yeah, it's too fucking hot.
We didn't storm the beaches to fucking steam ourselves before we get on our do our events. I don't know if I like Patriot love it.
This is, I've never known you. I didn't know the Olympics would bring out this part of you.
It is too hot. 79.
It is too hot. It goes over indoors.
They all should have AC. It shouldn't just be us.
Everyone should have it. It also becomes such a disparity because you have teams like the NBA team and the WNBA teams.
They don't stay in the Olympic Village. They go get a hotel because of this and because they know that the beds are going to be uncomfortable for someone who is 7'6".
But if you're, say, the South Sudan team, you can't go do that. Yeah.
And that doesn't seem fair. It isn't fair.
Tell it to these medals around our next... Oh, boy.
Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.
You want to talk about fairness at America? We don't even have fairness. We don't have fairness in America.
We're not going to have fairness at America. As Beyonce said, our complicated nation.
By the way, what a choice. What a word choice in that video.
And the way she enunciated it was beautiful. It really it was so there's a there's a um like an ad beyonce does uh like an ad with the gymnastics team and some of the other athletes uh and refers to america as this big beautiful complicated which really lands on complicated nation it was interesting yeah it's um that album is gonna have legs uh there was also okay so there was also a reported food shortage in the Olympic Village, with foods like eggs and grilled meats being rationed between the game's 15,000 athletes, said French organizers.
What is the problem? You don't bring cigarettes? That's my French accent. It was pretty good.
You're welcome, everybody. Speaking of rationed meats, Grindr disabled the geolocation-based explore function of its app in the Olympic Village, which it also did during the Beijing Olympics.
Imagine it. You spend your whole life training to get to the Olympics and for nothing.
Said Grindr, if an athlete is not out or comes from a country where being LGBTQ plus is is? Don't ban Grindr. Make it mandatory that everyone in the village is on Grindr.
Has to be on Grindr. And then if you're not active on it, fine.
That's smart. Just get everyone on there.
We gotta I am Spartacus this thing. And then also then it becomes a queer gap and everyone's on it.
And isn't that better? That's my vision for the future. There is something like, man, just that like, yeah, we, if you are on here because it only takes one person and once it's done, it can't beone you can't we can't let you have this experience because we can't trust that there isn't one random person in the vicinity of of you right now that won't be a fucking massive massive selfish narcissistic asshole and i believe and i haven't used grinder so tell me if i'm wrong but i believe that because of the way it geolocates like you don't have to be there to look in the Olympic Village.
Like you could actually go and like look at different areas of the world. That seems wrong.
But they shut it off. That's why they shut it off because like it's not worth it.
And again leave me a comment if I'm wrong about Grindr. Flava Flav is on the ground as the official hype man for the U.S.
women's water polo team. After making a donation to the team and signing a five-year sponsorship deal, here he is with Dr.
Jill Biden. Jill! Jill's on the top of the hill! Yes? Jill's on the top of the hill.
No notes. The rapper reportedly got involved after U.S.
captain Maggie Stephens took to Instagram to ask for financial help, explaining that she and her fellow athletes have to work two or three jobs to survive despite the team winning three consecutive goals. Absurd.
Water polo players should not have multiple jobs. Have you seen water polo? How long do you think you could play water polo without drowning? I give myself three minutes and that's if I'm well outside the action.
That's just treading water. It looks so hard.
It's insane. They just tread water.

And then they're swimming back and forth. It's insane.
The thing that impresses me the most is the way that they catch the balls and then are able to release them because at least in football when you're catching, your glove is almost like Velcro. Whereas with this, it's just a wet ball.
And you're standing on the ground in football. Yeah.
When they're throwing these balls, their waists are out of the water and they're just jumping from water. Wrote Flav in a reply, As a girl dad and supporter of all women's sports, I'm a personally sponsor you, my girl.
Whatever you need, I'm a sponsor of the whole team. My manager is in touch with your agents and I'm going to use my relationships and resources to help y'all even more.
That's the beauty of America. Do we have a modern social welfare state up to the task of keeping everyone safe and healthy in a dynamic global economy? No.
But once in a while, a wealthy celebrity will come down like a benevolent alien to solve all your problems. So fingers crossed.
Meanwhile, the coach of the Canadian women's soccer team got busted for using a drone to spy on their opponents during training and gather information about their play. Oh, I'm a big cheater, eh? Said the coach in a comment to Beaver and Snow magazine.
On Monday, the U.S. That was just for me.
That one. On Monday, the U.S.
men's gymnastics team clinched an Olympic medal for the first time in 16 years after a man who was brought onto the team exclusively for the pommel horse event absolutely crushed it on pommel horse. It's good to have a specialty, to be absolutely irreplaceable at something.
Oh, you could be replaced. We were very late today.
We almost had David do this. We could replace you like this.
Steven Njordasik. Have you heard it said? No.
I have not heard it said. Steven Njordasik.
Njordasik. Nailed it.
No, each one is right. Each time you say it, it's more correct.
Spent most of the competition sleeping quietly or, as Kendra noted, visualizing. Visualizing.
That's what I'm also doing with my eyes are closed. Awaiting his moment on the pommel horse.
We've got a photo of him visualizing. These people are really gifted with superhuman talons.
I can't even fall asleep in my own bed. That's what makes him one of the greats.
When pommel horse time arrived, N-O-R-O-S-I-C-H-N-D-O-R-O-S-I-C-H N-O-R-O-S-I-C-H N-O-R-O-S-I-C-H N-O-R-O-S-I-C-H that's totally what it is. And here's the thing, he's from Worcester, he could be saying it any kind of way.
Oh, that's true. It's pronounced Nick.
Woke up, whipped off his glasses, and did this. He did take a skill out.
You'll lose a few tenths for that. It's a home run.
Oh my gosh. Good thing.
So you think you could do that? Everyone said you could do that? That's what I can do. Yeah, no, I think I'd do it.
I can't wait to see it. LA, 2028.
That's not a pommel horse budget for this company. And everyone's freaking out.
It's astounding. I think it looks easy.
No. Do one handstand right now.
After. Do one push-up right now.
That he can do. I want to see the handstand.
Well, then it's a hop, scoop, and jump. We have four years.
I want to see a handstand into a one-handed dismount. Oh, I'd love to see that.
Please. All right.
After the record. Okay.
We'll just do it right out of range of the cameras and microphones. Great.
I, too, want to be good at something so specific and difficult most people would never even try it. And fortunately, I chose podcasting.
And here we are. Is that it? Is that the last joke? All right.
Before we go, we have another exciting Vote Save America update. We've now had over 27,000 people sign up for Vote Save America's 2024 volunteer program, Organizer Else, including 10,000 since Harris's presidential announcement.
And those folks have already reached over 1 million voters. This is a historic moment in U.S.
politics. We have less than 100 days now to sway this election.
But we need your help to have a fighting chance in November. As Bradley Whitford said on the white dudes for Kamala call yesterday, you can sign up at votesaveamerica.com.
You go to votesaveamerica.com

slash 2024 and you click sign up to get started. We really need everybody now in the homestretch.

Basically, when you sign up, you will be pointed to the most effective way you can make a difference

either with your dollars or your time between now and election day. This message has been paid for

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And this ad has not been authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee, but it has been authorized by me to say sign up at votesaveamerica.com slash 2024. Please, we need more of you to do it.
Not enough of you have done it. Listen, I hope everyone else enjoys the Olympics and that their blood also runs red, white, and blue until it's over.
And hopefully beyond, frankly, at this time.

Frankly.

And frankly, I hope beyond.

And we've got a great show this Saturday.

We're going to have Ron Perlman, Wayne Brady, some other great guests.

And so we'll see you still on Saturday.

God bless America. It's a Crooked Media production.
It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.
Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman.
Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mohamed El-Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor.
Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide... Thank you.
This is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can.
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