Couch Me If You Can

Couch Me If You Can

July 27, 2024 1h 3m Episode 366
Hot off Biden’s endorsement, Kamala Harris (Allison Reese) returns to the show, fired up and ready to go. Monet X Change drags Republicans through the hallowed halls of Congress. And as the Olympics begin, we're feeling patriotic and taking that feeling out for a spin. Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events

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Full Transcript

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Great to be back. Welcome to Love It or Leave It.
It's been five days since Vice President Kamala Harris officially entered the race. And if you think we've run out of coconut jokes, then you don't know this show.
And if you think those coconut jokes will be good, then you definitely don't know this show. Tonight, great booking.
Vice President Kamala Harris is here. She was already booked.
And she didn't cancel. So that's amazing.
Monet exchange. P pits drag queens against drab Republicans.

Then we all fasten our star-spangled seatbelts for a spin of the patriotic wheel.

Uncle Sam wants rants.

But first, let's get into it.

What a week.

What a week.

On Wednesday, President Biden addressed the nation from the Oval Office. I revere this office, but I love my country more.
It's been the honor of my life to serve as your president. But in the defense of democracy, which is at stake, I think it's more important than any title.
Don't feel bad for him, though. Becoming a national martyr is every young Catholic boy's ultimate dream.
After that recurring one where God sends a letter to his mother detailing every time he's jerked in on a Sunday. The president continued.
I draw strength and I find joy in working for the American people. But this sacred task of perfecting our union, it's not about me.
It's about you, your families, your futures. It's about we, the people.
We can never forget that. And I never have.
Why did we decide we didn't want this guy? It's so weird to me. People are so weird.
I don't get it. Said Biden.
I believe my record as president, my leadership in the world, my vision for America's future, all merited a second term. But nothing, nothing can come in the way of saving our democracy.
That includes personal ambition. Biden then ended the telecast and instead of following Miranda Priestly into the Paris fashion show, threw his flip phone into the Fontaine de Fleuve, Fontaine de Fleuve, Fontaine de Fleuve, and walked away from it all.
On Tuesday, Kamala Harris hit the ground running at a campaign event in Milwaukee. As attorney general of California, I took on one of our country's largest for-profit colleges that was scamming students.
Donald Trump ran a for-profit college that scammed students. As a prosecutor, I specialized in cases involving sexual abuse.

Well, Trump was found liable for committing sexual abuse.

Hook it into my veins.

Do you know how much of a world-class asshole you have to be

that we forget you started a fake college to scam students?

Students who wanted nothing more than to learn how to start businesses from the world's worst person.

Here's Vice President Harris on Project 2025.

Donald Trump wants to take our country backward.

He and his extreme Project 2025 agenda will weaken the middle class. Like, we know we got to take this serious thing.
Can you believe they put that thing in writing? It is crazy that they put that thing in writing. Project 2025 should have been an oral tradition performed by throat singers at Heritage Foundation male-only retreats.
And from the sounds of it, from the feel of it, from the vibe shift,

feels like America is on board Kamala 2024 Express.

We believe in a future where every person has the opportunity

not just to get by, but to get ahead.

A future where no child has to grow up in poverty. Where every worker has the freedom to join a union.
Where every person has affordable health care,

affordable child care, and paid family leave. And fuck it, I'll say it, Diet Mountain Dew is racist.
Meanwhile, on Wednesday, Vote.org reported that over 38,500 people registered to vote since Biden dropped out on Sunday, a 700% spike in registrations this election cycle. Also on Wednesday, the Crooked Store dropped a new shirt that says Vote in the brat font.
Coincidence? It is a coincidence. It is a coincidence.
We couldn't get a picture of that. Celebrities followed in Charlie XCX's footsteps and endorsed Kamala with Cardi B tweeting, let's go.
I told y'all Kamala was supposed to be the 2024 candidate. In 2024, let's elect a WAP, a woman-ass president.
Hillary Clinton on Wednesday published a New York Times op-ed titled How Kamala Harris Can Win and Make History Clinton wrote of Biden giving up the nomination as one who shared that dream and has had to make peace with letting it go I know this wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do Letting go of dreams is tough I imagine, never done it personally I still think this will be a TV show one day. Nah, I'm kidding.
I know it can't be. I didn't get TV thin until I was radio old.
Then on Thursday, Kamala's campaign released their first ad with Beyonce's Freedom as her campaign song. There are some people who think we should

be a country of chaos, of fear, of hate. But us, we choose something different.

We choose freedom.

I take that chaos part personally, grumbled Rudy Giuliani as he was being chased by like six geese. Let's enjoy more ad.
The freedom not just to get by, but get ahead. The freedom to be safe from gun violence.
The freedom to make decisions about your own body. We choose a future where no child lives in poverty.
Where we can all afford health care. where no one is above the law.
Into the veins. Trump responded, you had me at safe from gun violence.
But then you lost me at the part about my crimes. Also on Thursday, Trump dropped his first attack ad.
And this is how it starts. I am Kamala Harris.
My pronouns are she and her.

Unbelievable.

This is how Trump explains the reasoning behind this ad.

Quote, I hate pronouns.

Uh, I mean, Trump hate pronouns.

Trump fear mongers around all the topics you'd expect.

The border, defund the police, Bernie Sanders, and worst of all.

Do you ban plastic straws?

I think we should.

Okay.

Just inside of our circle here, we can admit that that's a miss.

Paper straws are bad is easily the Republican Party's strongest issue.

But we can't let the fear of limp paper straws losing all structural integrity

after three minutes in an iced oat latte to control our futures. There has to be a better way we can get biden's cancer moonshot people on it we could solve this problem and until then we're just going to use the plastic straws i would like i want to see kamala just using plastic straws i don't like the sippy lid meanwhile kamala's campaign team has been responding to trump they sent an email entitled entitled, Statement on a 78-year-old criminal's Fox News appearance,

with a bulleted list of issues, including,

Trump is clearly worried he made the wrong pick in J.D. Vance.

Trump is old and quite weird, question mark.

This guy should never be president again.

First of all, 10 out of 10, no notes.

It is awesome.

It is awesome seeing this campaign of talented people unleashed in this way.

It's like Kamala walked around and breathed on the statues like Aslan.

Then the campaign's secret weapon is fucking Doug.

Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug.

I've seen this proposed on social media, which is that we should not obey the previous conventions in any forum, that it should be, ladies and gentlemen, Madam President and Doug. His official title should be Doug.
Speaking to Jewish Democrats this week, Doug said this. I'm just going to keep living like openly like a Jew and maybe there'll be a mezuzah on the White House.
Let's just think of some of the downsides. Chuck Schumer sees the mezuzah on the White House instantly climaxes.
We toned it down from cums. It's a nice idea.
But the White House won't be fully Jewified until there's a six-month-old box of Straits' matzah in the kitchen and a loose lactate rolling around the drawers of the resolute desk. You got to be able to walk into that White House and say, I can get a lactate if I need a lactate.
That's how you know that this place is the home of a Jewish man. Doug hides the Afi Komen in the Situation Room.
Hijinks in an unfortunate military confrontation with China ensues. Uh-oh.
Meanwhile, Trump's team is reportedly panicked at new polling, showing Harris in the lead just ahead of the former president. Imagine panicking about polls.
Couldn't be us. Not now, not ever.
According to Reuters, Harris is currently pulling at 44%, with Trump bringing up the rear at 42%. Back in the margin of error, baby, living life in that sweet, sweet M of E.
Yum, yum, yum. But if it helps, Donald, you're in the lead age-wise.
You're at 78. Donald Trump is 78.
And I think that's pretty old. Pretty old to nominate a person who's 78.
Don't even know what these Republicans are thinking. Strange decision they've made.
He's a weird guy and old. So I'm going to think about it.
Then you think, well, who's going to be president if he's at that age? Well, it's J.D. Vance, someone whose personality is not good.
Not a likable man. Not somebody you trust.
That's someone to think about. Trump's chief pollster, who is not Tampa's gayest hairstylist, Tony Fabrizio, rushed.
Fabrizio rushed to assure the MAGA fans that yes, okay, the polls might look bad,

but before long, Harris's honeymoon will end and voters will refocus on her role as Biden's partner and co-pilot.

She may have been Biden's co-pilot, but look at me.

Look at me.

She's the captain now.

Trump's buddies on Fox did their best to tamp down the nation's newfound optimism.

You need to understand what's happening here.

This is Kamala's honeymoon period. She is experiencing a sugar high, a feeling of relief and enthusiasm that the guy that can't walk and talk, that stays and confused, the guy that mumbles and bumbles and stumbles.
Oh, thank God it's not him. It's a honeymoon.
It's a sugar hot. But Mark, my words, it will be short live.
So first of all, I love that clip. I love that Sean Hannity is basically like a thunder blanket for angry, confused, old white Republicans watching this being like, what's happening? This can't.
I don't. I don't understand.
She seems, they seem to like her, but she's dancing and he's like, it's okay. The polls are going to be bad, but you're going to be okay.
Just you get onto the desk and you get into a small space. It's just a sugar high, says Sean Hannity.
Voters will come to their senses and realize they need us for ay, filling serving of dog shit. And I will say this.
Sean does have a point. Kamala is our rebound.
And it did happen pretty fast after the breakup. But you know what? When it feels right, you know it.
And before you say it, Mom, no, this is not another Andrew Cuomo situation. What we have with Kamala is real.
Republicans also continue to call Harris a DEI hire, their latest euphemism for being black if it's a woman speaking or a woman if it's a man speaking. Like Republican Representative Harriet Hageman.
I think it's just a failure from top to bottom. I think she was a DEI hire, and I think that that's what we're seeing.
And I just don't think that they have anybody else. I just think that they're in real disarray.
I just have to say there are people online comparing her to George Santos and saying George Santos has snuck back into Congress. And that's not right.
That's not right. Stop it.
and sure that makes sense Kamala got to where she is because she's the black daughter of an immigrant this is in contrast to Donald Trump who worked his way up to real estate tycoon from his humble beginnings as son of real estate tycoon not to be outdone Congressman Andy Ogles filed articles of impeachment against Harris accusing her of a public breach of trust for allegedly covering up the president's well-being or lack thereof. Wrote Ogles, Kamala Devi Harris has knowingly misled the people of the United States to obfuscate the physical and cognitive well-being of the president of the United States, Joe Biden.
They only got to Tuesday before busting out her middle name. I thought for sure we'd close out the week, but that's just on me.
Jonathan Hussein Lovett. At a rally in Charlotte, North Carolina on Wednesday, Donald Trump brought his post-assassination attempt spiritual awakening to a close.
You know, I was supposed to be nice. They say something happened to me when I got shot.
I became nice. And when you're dealing with these people, they're very dangerous people.
When you're dealing with them, you can't be too nice. You really can't be.
So if you don't mind, I'm not going to be nice. Is that okay? They say something happened to me.
The asshole area of my brain. They call it the asshole area.
It got knocked offline, okay? But it's back now. The doctors save it and they're saying it's stronger than it's ever been.
The fact that even he can make fun of the stupid fucking story that claimed he had been changed by what happened. He knows it's a joke.
That was funny though. We got to give it to him.
That's a good one. Trump kindly repeated Harris's central campaign message.
They get me to that position and then their campaign says, I'm the prosecutor and he is the convicted felon. That's their campaign.
I don't think people are going to buy it. I don't think people are going to buy this true sentence that is so memorable as a contrast.
I, her opponent, am repeating it at my own rally, reminding everyone here and every reporter covering this event about how interesting that contrast message is. It's like Pepsi saying they think people like Santa and polar bears and are going to associate ice cold Arctic snow and the joy of Christmas with their delicious, refreshing soda.
Give me a break. Stupid thing for Pepsi to say.
In all seriousness, if you really want to see where the Trump campaign is at right now, just check out Donald Jr. over on Rumble.

Some of them are like, we don't even want white women.

We need to check three or four boxes so you can end up with, if you're a trans-communist, this, that, and the other,

you too can be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company with no experience.

He's actually spent real time with them.

I would say he's the blue-collar billionaire 15 years ago.

Okay, okay, okay.

First of all, do you remember that commercial when I was a kid where they said, this has not been sped up?

This is a I would say he's the blue-collar billionaire. 15 years ago.
Okay, okay, okay. First of all, do you remember that commercial when I was a kid where they said, this has not been sped up.
This footage has not been sped up. That is the speed at which Don Jr.
is speaking to a silent and deeply confused J.D. Vance.
Shout out to Ron Filipowski for that incredible montage of Don Jr. on one.
Meanwhile, social media was aflame this week with an incredible claim about Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance.
I never know. The claim is that J.D.
Vance once had sex with a couch. How many of you are so terminally online that you're aware of this? How many of you are not aware of this?

Proud of you.

I'm proud of you.

Sex with a couch.

Responded Vance, okay, I'll bite.

Why do you think they call it a love seat?

The craziest part is, Vance let the couch get on top,

because J.D. Vance is a lazy boy.
I haven't seen people have this much fun on the internet since everybody found out that the J.D. in J.D.
Vance stands for Jadoff Dittler. Alas, we are nothing if not journalists here.
As it turns out out no such passage exists in vance's new york times bestseller and so we have to say there remains no concrete evidence that jd vance has publicly admitted to having sex with a couch we cannot say more than that but that is what we can say it did lead to this incredible fact check by the AP. The headline is, no,

J.D. Vance did not have sex with a couch.
But much in the same way that the AP might have debunked one aspect of the story, that is a claim the AP cannot make. The only claim the AP could make is that the claim that J.D.
Vance documented sex with a couch in Hillbilly Elegy, that is false. But this is a sweeping, sweeping claim of the negative.

And anyway. documented sex with a couch in Hillbilly Elegy.
That is false. But this is a sweeping, sweeping claim of the negative.

And anyway, a headline like that tells you

your candidacy is off to a roaring start.

In other J.D. Vance not so recent news,

a 2021 clip resurfaced

in which the Republican vice presidential candidate

accuses Kamala Harris, who is a step-parent,

of being miserable because she's childless. A very good point, because think of all of your friends who don't have children and how miserable they are.
And how they're always going, oh, you know what made this weekend getaway more fun? A toddler. Here's what Vance said.
We're effectively run in this country via the Democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made. And so they want to make the rest of the country miserable too.
This naturally enraged the nation's childless cat ladies, including Jennifer Aniston, who had spoken publicly about her fertility issues and unsuccessful attempt to conceive using IVF, wrote on Instagram, I truly cannot believe this is coming from a potential VP. All I can say is Mr.
Vance, I pray that your daughter is fortunate enough to bear children of her own one day. As Minnesota Governor Tim Walz put it.
I'll tell you what. Go ahead and continue to denigrate people.
Go ahead. My God, they went after cat people.
Good luck with that. Turn on the internet and see what cat people do when you go after them.
Seems like they mostly just post pictures of their cats, but I take his point. The ex-wife of second gentleman Doug Emhoff leapt into the fray to defend Harris against J.D.
Vance's sexism and criticism. My God, Trump can't even get his current wife to defend him.
Said Kirsten Emhoff, these are baseless attacks for over 10 years since Cole and Ella were teenagers. Kamala has been a co-parent with Doug and I.
She is a loving, nurturing, fiercely protective, and always present. I love our blended family and am grateful to have her in it.
I thought it was mature and involved for me to reply ha ha ha when my ex texts me a meme. This is incredible.
Harris isn't childless and it's nice of Kirsten with an E to point that out. But also, childless women are not unfit to hold public office.
Giving birth is not a prerequisite to governing. What kind of twisted little sicko freak looks at a woman running for office and goes, ah, but has she breastfed breastfed also being endorsed as a stepmom by the ex-wife of your husband is jedi level relationship skills her husband's ex-wife is on her side get this woman in a room with putin meanwhile fucking weirdos i i the the weirdo argument argument is these people are fucking freaks

who have talked to each other in rooms alone

for so long that they come out

and the shit they said is weird. Remember when

the Chicago Tribune wanted to call themselves

Tronk?

This storied brand got into a room,

bunch of people spent too much time, had too much coffee,

didn't talk to anybody outside of the room

and they came out and said, we've done it.

We've figured out a new brand for this thing. We're calling it Trunk.
And everybody's like, stupid, bad, go away. The Republicans have gone full Trunk.
Meanwhile, the government's whitest men rushed to throw their hats in the ring for Kamala's vice presidency this week. I got to tell you, I'm loving the show.
Minnesota Governor Tim Wallace came out swinging against Trump and J.D. Vance.
Their policies are what destroyed rural America. They've divided us.
They're in our exam rooms. They're telling us what books to read.
Walz went on to say this. I think this is going back to the bread and butter, getting away from this division.
We do not like what has happened where we can't even go to Thanksgiving dinner with our uncle because you end up in some weird fight that is unnecessary.

And I think bringing back people together.

Well, it's true.

These guys are just weird.

And, you know, they're running for He-Man Women Haters Club or something.

Pick him, pick him, said Joe Biden, loving the reference.

It's a reference to the Little Rascals, which I presume Joe Biden would refer to as our gang. Pete Buttigieg also clowned Vance on CNN.
The choice of J.D. Vance is a regrettable choice because he's somebody who was at his most convincing and effective when he talked about how unfit for office Donald Trump is.
And he has not explained any reason, other than, of course, his obvious interest in power, why he would have changed his mind on that. Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear, Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro, and Arizona Senator and former astronaut and Navy pilot Mark Kelly also came out swinging.
But to whom shall she give her rose? Meanwhile, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu arrived in D.C. to speak to Congress on Wednesday.
Honestly, perfect week for him to come. He's like a guy trying to get everybody's attention during a fireworks show happening directly above an active shark attack.
In the end, around half of Congress's Democrats, including former Speaker Nancy Pelosi, did not attend Netanyahu's address. Pelosi opted to meet with families of hostages instead.
Said Pelosi,

Benjamin Netanyahu's presentation in the House chamber today

was by far the worst presentation of any foreign dignitary

invited and honored with the privilege

of addressing the Congress of the United States.

That has to have hit Netanyahu pretty hard,

given that Congress has had a lot of sick fucks address it before.

For example,

for those listening,

that is a picture of Elmo addressing Congress.

Meanwhile, protesters released piles of maggots and crickets at the Watergate Hotel where Netanyahu was staying my salad said RFK Jr and what's interesting about that RFK Jr. has never said anything about eating bugs but you thought you missed a story speaking of creeps Senator Bob Menendez submitted his resignation and will leave office on August 20th following his conviction on federal corruption charges.
Sounds like Kamala just found her VP. You want to defeat a criminal, you got to think like a criminal.
In a recent Adidas ad, Bella Hadid was featured wearing a pair of retro sneakers modeled after a design that was used in the 1972 Munich Olympics. Israel reacted furiously to the ad saying Adidas recently launched a new campaign for their shoes to highlight the 1972 Olympics.
In Munich, 11 Israelis were murdered by Palestinian terrorists during the Munich Olympics. Guess who the face of their campaign is? Bella Hadid, a half-Palestinian model who has a history of spreading anti-Semitism and calling for violence against Israelis and Jews.
There's only one reason Adidas would hire the most beautiful woman in the world, and that's to do subtle, esoteric, shoe-based anti-Semitism. On Monday, Adidas posted an Instagram apology, writing that its recent campaign was not meant to have any connection to the tragedy at the 1972 Olympics.
I believe them. You can tell because there isn't one.
It's been a while since I've seen the movie Munich, but as Spielberg tells it, the attack had very little to do with running shoes. Unfortunately, it's not a full apology in my eyes until it includes the words, we've been very bad-edus.
Speaking of bad things, in the wake of Elon Musk's sit-down interview with Canada's weirdest man, Jordan Peterson, in which Musk claims he was tricked into allowing his eldest child to transition, that child, Vivian, now 20, aired him out on threads. Vivian pointed to a tweet Musk wrote in the past in which he said that she was born gay and slightly autistic.
And as someone who was born gay, and let's face it, with a little whiff of the spectrum on him, I take offense. Vivian says that the evidence, which is that she once described Elon's jacket as looking fabulous when she was four years old, didn't happen and couldn't have happened because her father, quote, simply wasn't there, end quote, while she was growing up.
Claiming children are gay and autistic instead of trans has become an increasingly common right-wing talking point. As for her father's claim she isn't trans, Vivian concluded, I am legally recognized as a woman in the state of California, and I don't concern myself with

the opinions of those who are below me. Obviously, Elon can't say the same because in a ketamine-fueled haze, he's desperate for attention and validation from an army of degenerate red-pilled incels and pykmes who are quick to give it to him.
Go touch some fucking grass. if you're a father and your child doesn't go public with your ketamine problem, then congratulations, you landed the plane.
And if your child's calling you by your first name on the internet while mocking your ketamine problem, you muffed it. Also, how fun that Elon's trans kid is ten times the poster he could ever dream of being and it's all happening on threads.
And finally the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile was involved in a rollover crash in Illinois, though luckily no injuries were reported. The Wienermobile is still rolling over at this very moment to keep it at a juicy 140 degrees.
Up next, Vice President Kamala Harris definitely has time for this. Hey, don't go anywhere.
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I couldn't be more excited to bring out our next guest.

She's had a world win of a week,

been traveling all over the country.

It's honestly a miracle that she can make time for us,

but here she is,

existing in the context of all in which she lives and what came before her.

Please welcome my next president and yours.

It's Vice President Kamala Harris.

Wow. Yeah.
Everyone feels so hopeful and energized. It's like we all nearly went over a cliff and then we looked straight down into it, but Nancy Pelosi pulled us onto her shoulders and scrambled up a tree branch.
We're not out of danger, but we feel like we've cheated death. So that feels good.
What's it been like for you? You know, I just want to say, okay, in case he's still on speakerphone, Joe, we love you. Okay, and we are clear.
You just, you never know with him. You know, I do want to thank Joe, okay, for making this selfless, patriotic decision.
But that's just who the president is. You know, one time he offered me the last cough drop he had in his pocket.
Isn't that nice? It was right before the debate, so in hindsight, I shouldn't have taken it. But here we are.
You watch that debate back? Yeah. He sounded like Jennifer Coolidge had a cold.
sounded like that's what you thought that's what I yeah folks I want a hot dog real bad so in just a matter of days your campaign raised more than 100 million dollars yeah the youth the youth are churning out Kamala fan cams on TikTok. People are fired up.
Did you expect this level of enthusiasm? Absolutely. Yeah.
100%. You know, I'm glad that young people are excited.
Okay. America needs young people to be invested in our politics.
And if that starts with singing about coconuts to the tune of Chappelle Rhone. Am I saying that right? Sure.
Yeah. Chappelle Ronan.
Chappelle Rhone. Some people say chapel.
If it's Chappelle Rhone, I don't want to be right. Okay.
And if that's how we get young people excited, then I love that for us. Knee deep in the presidency, Joe dropped out, now it's my turn.
That's been floating around out there, right? Yeah, yeah. No, no, it has been, 100%.
Yeah, no, you're on it. You're right on the pulse.
Hell yeah. The beating pulse.
So the hard part of this election is not over.

The completely impossible, boring, yet terrifying sleep paralysis part seems to be over.

But the hard part is just beginning.

How are you feeling about the challenges to come?

You know, I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

Okay.

It's going to be tough, right?

Brat summer won't last forever.

And what comes after that? Rascal autumn? We don't even know what that is yet, John. But you're ready for whatever comes.
I'm ready for whatever season. Even people who had incredible expectations for the kind of candidate you would be, I've been blown away by how you have hit the ground running taking in a matter of

hours the mantle

of defender of democracy with everybody

hope on your shoulder and you're rising to

this occasion. How did you do that?

How did I do that? I've been in

hiding for three years.

I've been training, getting better,

faster, stronger, laugher huh that's how I did it that's how you did it you know some of these some of these Republicans have been actually saying insulting things about your laugh how does that that feel? That must be frustrating. Yeah, no, that sucks.
But honestly, I do think that's interesting because I don't think Donald Trump can laugh. Right.
And I think that that's more fucked up than a woman who laughs when shit's funny. Than a man who can't? please.
That is strange that we have never seen Donald Trump truly laugh in public. That is wild.
Yeah. What do you think that is? So people have tried to, I have, I have tried to say, I've said this, people, we've never seen Donald Trump love and people send me what they consider the closest you can find.
Is it that meme where he's like, if that's the best you got, he scoffs. He'll do some scoffing.
But he doesn't laugh. What do you think that says about a man's mind? Broken.
Bad. Ungood.
Now, what do you... So what do you think about...
Like, how are you going to... you have to do two tasks.
You have a huge task ahead of you.

One is to make the whole Democratic coalition that turned out to defeat Donald Trump the first time and the second time turn out for you.

But then there's a lot of moderate voters, undecided voters that are just getting to know you.

Are you ready to make the case to those undecided voters?

I feel like I am.

I'm so memeable.

I'm everywhere. They

can't get rid of me. I'll be in the Midwest.

I'll get a white guy. Whatever.

That's what they

want. Fine.

I'll get a white guy. Which one?

Elmer's. Elmer's.

Just a glue. Glue.
Just pasty.

Just a paste. Just some glue.

Just like as pasty. Yeah.

Yeah.

P. Gl some glue.
Just like as pasty. Yeah.
Yeah. Pete Glutage.
That was really good. Thanks.
Thanks. So.
Glutage. I'm going to get that crocheted on a pillow.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm Rubber. I'm Rubber.
You're Pete Glutage. That's nothing.
Sorry. Sorry.
I'm nervous. I'm talking to get that crocheted on a pillow.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm rubber. I'm rubber.
You're Pete Gludige.

That's nothing.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I'm nervous.

I'm talking to the vice president.

I'm talking to the next president of the United States.

Thank you.

So Republicans have already begun throwing some pretty racist, misogynist spaghetti at

the wall trying to figure out how to attack you.

One of them is your laugh.

The other is that they've started taking to calling you some kind of a, they want to call you a DEI hire. DEI hire.
I think that that is interesting because I could arrest all of them. I won't.
But will I? To jail. It's funny, I'm glad you brought it.
All of them. You know, one of the criticisms of your 2020 campaign is that you didn't want to run as a prosecutor when there was a kind of progressive fervor in the party at that time in which people thought that that might be a liability.
Obviously Republicans have been throwing a lot of pretty absurd and disgusting attacks your way, but some people have even gone so far as to say that impressions of you are racist or misogynist. How do you feel about that? That's true, yeah.
Anyone doing an impression of me is a racist homophobe, honestly. He's probably never ate pussy.
But so, I mean... Are you worried that people are a little too hopeful?

That at some point this moment is going to give way...

And going to crescendo, like it's going to go bye-bye?

Yeah, it's going to peak?

Sometimes I wonder if...

I found glass in my mouth a couple weeks ago.

And I wonder if I died.

And that this is a dream.

Did that answer that for you? Sure. Yeah.
So we already started touching on this, but let's talk about your VP pick for a second. Right.
Elmer. Can you give us a little bit more on who you might be leaning towards? Give us a little scoop.
Any scoops? A little scoop? Got any scoops for us? You want a little scoop? Yeah.

You know, I am looking for someone to compliment me.

Just whoever's going to tell me I look

really nice. Just

someone who's going to be like, you're so smart.

It's really nice that you

laugh. Stuff like that.

Yeah, to compliment you.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

You know, one of them's an astronaut, Mark Kelly. Yeah.
No, I like that. Because he did the gorilla suit thing.
That was him? Yes. That's fun.
He better not do that shit to me, though. When Senator Mark Kelly was an astronaut aboard, I believe, the International Space Station, he, without his other astronauts on board knowing, had brought us a special item, I guess, a full gorilla suit, and then put it on and terrorized his fellow astronauts.
That's cool. Hilarious.
That's so funny and fucked up. Imagine.
You're in space.

You're in space.

For months, weeks,

it's just you and the few other people there.

And then there's a gorilla.

That's awesome.

Do you know that the International Space Station

apparently has a kind of gross smell from all the people that have been on there not showering for so many years? I didn't need to know that. Well, I mean, you're going to be in charge of NASA.
That might be something you need to look into. The smell? Yeah, the smell.
Or the International Space Station. It's not not a problem.
Okay, yeah. I'll tell them to stop smelling like a game stop and i feel like they're a bigger fish to fry honestly but yeah cool get some febreze wow that's a good idea any now you're about to head out this is the most consequential hundred days yeah that any candidate has ever had a week ago you were not a candidate now you have 100 days to make your case to the country um is there any piece of that makes you nervous no not at all because okay look a week ago i didn't exist in the context but now i exist in the context.
But now I exist in the context.

I did not fall out of the coconut tree.

You know what I mean?

No, I do know what you mean.

Yeah.

You're unburdened.

I'm unburdened by what has been.

Exactly.

Vice President Kamala Harris, everybody.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Everybody, give it up for Alison Reese.

And we're back.

Please welcome to the stage singer, performer, drag icon, co-host of Sibling Rivalry, and

one of the founders of the brand new drag pack, the incredible Monet X Change.

Hold on, John. bag pack the incredible mona exchange hold on john you forgot gorgeous and gorgeous i should have said gorgeous thank you for being here thank you for being here what happened here just i'm like i'm messy huh didn't she that's part of it that's part of it lovely to see you so now before we before we get into it, something did happen on this show that does involve your co-host, which is this.
Your co-host, Bob the Drag Queen, did our Pride show in 2022. Bob comes on the pod.
She very clearly has absolutely no idea what this show is. And then goes back to you and talks about having no fucking idea what this show is.
And then you try to explain it, you get it wrong. How did I get it wrong? Yes, because you thought that somehow, I can't remember the details but in some sense you confused me with Jon Favreau and believed we were in some kind of a relationship.
Okay. So I listened to Pod Save America.
I'm obsessed with you and Jon Favreau. But I remember I fell in love with Jon Favreau through some MSNBC something.
I was like, who is that? Then I found out that then I don't know what happened. Then for some reason, I thought that you and Jon Favreau were an item, a couple.
And I was like, girl, you went on Jon Lovett's podcast. That is Jon Favreau's husband.
And so. And am I wrong? Yeah, he said no.
So now you have started Drag Pack. Yes.
Which is really exciting. Can you just talk about, like, what is it? How did it come together? So it's a political action committee, and it's a pack come together with queens, and we are here to essentially initiate to get Gen Z obsessed with politics and get them into this whole bit, because realize that Gen Z is a huge voting bloc and a lot of our fans happen to be Gen Z, you know, because drag is fierce.
And they're really engaged. So we felt like we could be most useful in this political cycle and hopefully beyond by activating them to getting them excited about politics and having them do the work with us.
Nice. And I, being a Gen Z girly, why y'all laughing? I make a joke.
I wish. Look, we're just two Gen Z girlies.
So first of all, has this week been a bit easier in terms of the recruitment oh my god yes like it's so crazy how we're everyone like it feels like gen c has gotten so much more excited about this political cycle because uh old uncle joe said you know i'm gonna sit this one out like i it's like to be honest like even through our our instagram and everything people are saying like they have not been this excited since Obama in a very long time. So I feel like that is a really, we have a lot of momentum.
A lot of people are, listen, Beyonce and Taylor ain't even saying nothing yet. I know.
And that's, they're still loaded up. I know.
Well, Beyonce gave approval for the song. She did.
And Beyonce's mom posted the photo, I believe. Oh, she did? You follow Miss Tina? I follow people who follow Miss Tina.
Okay, got you, yeah. So when Beyonce and Taylor get on track, girl, Gen Z's about to fuck.
Oh, sorry, can I curse on you? Yeah. They're about to fuck it up in this month.
They know what they're going to do. It's going to be cool.
Yeah. So Project 2025, I think, is one of the motivating reasons for forming this pack.

It seems like Trump had to say he had tried to disavow Project 2025.

The Democratic candidates have started talking more about it, but it seems like it was organic.

Like people were bringing up Project 2025 on their own.

Like, have you found that when you're organizing this drag pack that people are talking about Project 2025?

Yeah, 100%. I think, you know, through social media and through, I know they're trying to shut it down and squander it, but through things like TikTok, like people are getting a lot of information through social media, and I think we cannot ignore that.
Like people are not ignorant anymore. Like this, like you wake up in the morning and you brush your teeth, hopefully, and then you open your phone like you see 19 tiktoks about the

information and this stupid 900 uh word uh triple space uh size 15 comic sans uh document and you're like oh wow like like we like the information is here so i think that people are coming to us with information about project 2025 that we don't even know so i think it's it's great it's great that they know already. Because I know me, old 18-year-old, 22, 25-year-old Monet, girl, I wasn't worried about that.
I was on Craigslist. I wasn't talking about no product.
Y'all don't even know what that is. See? They gave it away.
You don't have to just be like, look, as someone who doesn't remember 9-11, and then go from there. So now, before we get to the game, I want to talk about J.D.
Vance's guyliner. Oh, God.
That is like he's wearing gender affirming makeup. He is.
But I like how you're concentrating on the guyliner. Look at the bad filler, though.
You know what I mean? You think? Like you got this by Dr. 90210.
You know what I'm saying? Like Dr. Zismore fucked him up, girl.
Dr. Zismore, man.
You're doing it again. You're doing it.
Gen Z know about Dr. Zismore? Gen Z, do you know about Dr.
Zismore in New York? No, you don't. You're not Gen Z.
Stop it, girl. You're wearing Hollister.
Stop it, honey. From opening the library to read, to reading at an actual fucking library to America's Children, queer people are more than just fabulous outfits and peckable lip syncs and catty feuds, but we're definitely those things too.
Monet, uh, what would you say is your all time favorite beef from drag race? Ooh, my all time favorite beef. It would have to be, um, season four.
And it was Sharon needles versus Fifi O'Hara. It is good., like, drag race in its prime.
Just Fifi. Sharon would inhale.
Bitch, why the fuck you inhaling, girl? Like, it was crazy. And I mean, Toxic Me, I just love.
I literally go back and just watch the fights on all those stupid Miss Mojo YouTube ranking videos. Obsessed.
So good. Now, there is one group that is more quick to a nasty public fight than drag queens, and it's the Republican Party, which is why we're playing a game we're calling Witch Bitch.
That's a good one. That's a good art.
That's a good art. I'm going to describe a beef to you, and you will tell us, am I describing a squabble between drag queens or a fight between elected Republican officials? So let us play witch bitch.
A consummate professional passionately informs a colleague that she does not take money from a benefactor, but she could if she wanted to. Oh, that is 1,000% Shangela.
Yeah, that's correct. Yeah, that's Shangela.
The legendary Sugar Daddy round. I could have a Sugar Daddy if I wanted to have a Sugar Daddy, I couldn't.
But yeah, I don't know the rest of it. Next up, an old school diva some might consider a has-been savage as an unhinged colleague after being interrupted during an interview.
Is that Maxine Waters? No, it is a political event. It is Republican Queens.
Let's give a check. It was this.
You know, he looks very unhinged. I mean, a lot of people have concerns about him.
And I'm not sure if he was on something, but I do hope he gets the help that he needs. Fucking, that catdiest, fucking bitchiest Kevin Graal.
I hope he gets it. That's like a poor child.
What CNN needs to do is add the shady rattlesnake noise sound. Yes.
It'll be great. The news will be fun again.
It'll be good. Oh man, that'd be awesome.
People would complain. They'd say,, this isn't reality to you.
It's like, okay, all right, let's keep pretending. Let's keep pretending this is news.
I just added RuPaul to the House of Representatives. Ladies, silence.
Basically, Nancy Pelosi was in the RuPaul role for the last two weeks. She sure was, girl.
She sure was. This fiery prima donna called a colleague Tubby and a little bitch on social media.
Oh, that is 1000% Republicans. Yeah, that's right.
That's Representative Derek Van Orden also going after Matt Gaetz. So good.
A little bitch. Next up, two Titans clash after accusations of arrogance on a national stage.
Dread Queen? Yep, that's Candy Muse versus Tamisha Iman in season 13, Untucked, that most likely won Untucked its Emmy for a standing unstructured reality program. I believe we have a clip.
Because you're going to say you call me arrogant and you don't like me. Bitch, you don't know me.
I'm a motherfucking hole in the wall. All right? So I suggest.
I'm not going to be too many bitches. Yes, the hell you are.
You got the right one. Yes, the hell you are, baby.
Like I said... I'm obsessed with Candy Buse saying anything, girl.
So good. Obsessed.
This is... So you have to have a friend who watches all the Untucks to tell you which Untucks you have to watch.
And I watch this untucked. So good.
Next up, a jacked blonde reads an uptight colleague for filth calling them a damn fool. A jacked blonde.
That has to be a miss on MTG. It is.
It is. It is.
Girl. So for Mike Johnson to actually think that his Republican conference supports sending $60 billion to Ukraine, he is a damn fool, Steve.
Hold on. And he's a liar.
Hold on. Can I tell you something? I have a ring.
We all have ring cameras. Tell me why I saw this bleach blonde, bad built, butch lady stealing my packages from my front door.
And when I tell you, she hopped over my neighbor's ficus branch and tuck and rolled onto my front yard and sold a package. I said, bitch, you deserve that.
She ate that. She ate that parkour.
Yes, but it was like a pretty bleach blonde horrible wig she had on. And I was like, you know what? Ferris, you're in that.
yeah what was the package it was an august lock it was ironically a lock i know and some lube oh yeah what a funny thing to open up be like well i hope like if you open that you really that's specific it's very specific well the lube isn't that specific everybody likes lube because the lock is she can't use it i'm like at least you know you you open it you can you can't use it just run back and just throw it and drink and run away you know what i mean like like i guess i can't yeah give it back give it back it's not valuable it wasn't i don't know what that's not it wasn't a haul it was an exciting thing just stole it terrible beach blonde butch body it's really no bleach blonde bad built butch body bleach blonde bad built butch body. It's too much to say.
Bleach blonde, bleach blonde, bad built, butch body. Bleach blonde, bad built, butch body.
Yeah, it's too much to say. Bleach blonde, bad built, butch body.
Say what now? Bleach blonde, bad built, butch body. So good.
Honestly, Jasmine Crockett should be the next poet laureate for that one, okay? She really should be. I want her to give the poem at um kamala's inaugural oh now just just i hadn't even thought about a poet at kamala's inaugural it's just a fun thing to think about we gotta gotta stay in the fucking game we gotta stay focused we gotta stay focused can't think about that now we can't think about that poem we can't think about it it's not worth thinking about how can people support where support? Where is the drag pack going to be? What's it doing? So yeah, go to dragpack.org and you guys, we have a list of ways that you can help support us, get the word out about us, and support the causes that we're interested in because, you know, there's a lot of anti-drag, anti-trans legislation going up out there.
And a lot of this anti-drag legislation is just anti-trans legislation, Just cut it up in words. Kind of mask it.
So we are always fighting for those in our community who are the least served. And we try to make the biggest impact.
So DragPack.org. Everybody go to DragPack.org.
I also like, you know, whether or not it's the most salient and effective way to convince a middle-aged person in the Midwest who voted for Trump than Biden and is kind of not sure where they're going to land regardless. Like the way in which Project 2025 uses trans issues as a backdoor way to talk about regulating speech is so dangerous.
I don't think people have fully under, like people talk about the way in which they will take over different parts of the federal government. People talk about how project 2025, uh, calls for invoking the Comstock act to make sending abortion medication, uh, illegal.
They talk about a lot of different aspects of it. I do not think people have focused yet enough.
People have even talked about the fact that it talks about banning pornography, but people do not understand that the document makes clear that what is pornography to them. It can be anything that refers to gender ideology and that it is not protected by the First Amendment.
And if you combine that with what Clarence Thomas is saying about needing to use the tradition of the First Amendment to interpret whether or not the First Amendment applies, you start to see a very dangerous path in which laws ostensibly or deceptively, misleadingly, disgustingly defined as protecting children from harm are used to ban not just drag shows, not even just the right of trans people to get medicine, but to curtail everybody's freedom of speech, everybody's ability to access the care they need, everybody's ability to live as they see. So I'm really glad that you guys are doing Drag Pack.
It's an amazing thing.

More people should get involved and it makes it fun.

You know, and it's like, so thank you

for doing that. Monet Exchange,

everybody. Dragpack.org.

Monet's

going to stick around when we come back.

We're all proud to be an American.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It

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All right. Please welcome Allison Reese to the stage for the first time.
Lovely to see you. Lovely to see you for the first time.
Hello. All right.
Tonight, in honor of a great week, a great week in politics and the start of the Olympics, we're going to do what the Olympics does best, enlighten us a kind of nationalistic fervor in a segment we're calling, Oh, Say Can You Spin? Pretty good. Pretty good.
There we are in those little coats. I remember that day.
Yeah, that was such a fun day. That was such an honor.

That was so good.

I was jealous that you were in front.

Sorry.

Do you remember the potato salad that had a crafty?

Yes.

It was so good.

It was so good.

Even though the raisins were there.

The raisins were there and I said a white person did this.

I know.

I'm like, okay, Chad, we got you, girl.

Okay.

I thought people would like raisins.

All right.

Here's how it works.

We're going to spin this wheel,

and then we're just going to share something

that makes us feel patriotic,

because we're taking patriotism back for these people.

Let's spin the wheel.

Ooh, I love this patriotic wheel.

So patriotic.

Oh, Allison. Oh, yeah, I forgot.
We have an eagle. You have to hold the eagle while you speak.
Oh, very normal. Yes.
Very normal. Very good.
I'm really excited to finally feel patriotic about being booked. I'm excited to do this show to get attention.
I'm the middle of six kids, so I feel like it's the universe paying me back in interest with all of this attention I have right now. I love that.
The moment I saw that President Biden was endorsing Vice President Harris and that everybody was rallying behind her. I don't think it was the first thought, but it wasn't the 10th.
It was like the sixth thought I had was like, Alison's going to crush. This is a good time.
This is a good time to be Allison Reese. And then I was like, God, this is awesome.

Because people were saying Maya Rudolph, Maya Rudolph.

I was like, okay, I guess.

And then what do I see?

The New York Times has a story about you doing Kamala.

Thank you so much.

And even better, they use a picture of us together. They did.

It is the picture I sent them hell yeah it is what were thoughts two through five so the first thought is this is awesome the second thought is i must be missing something that's terribly wrong the third thought is no no don't do that don't do that that take this in yeah exist in this context in the context yeah you are unburdened by what has been who's up next let's see Monet you get the eagle what is something you're patriotic about this is deceptively light hmm yeah I'm's just internet trash something that I'm patriotic about is going to Target okay like there is I don't feel more American than I walk than when I set on a mission to go to Target to buy two or three things and I walk out with 95 things right right? I just feel like I am an American.

I have the ability and the freedom to walk up with this target when I budgeted $25 and I'm spending 500.

It makes me feel like I'm in my American power and I'm doing my civic duty as an American

spending money up in this motherfucker and I feel good about it.

Yeah.

Target.

Target.

Target.

I love that.

I love that. Let's spin it again.
It has landed on me. So I want to talk about something I'm patriotic about, which is the way that the United States enters in the opening ceremony of every Olympics.

It is one of my favorite times of the Olympics

and one of my favorite moments every four years

because first of all,

I don't know how Ralph Lauren

always gets this fucking contract,

but we send our people out there.

Like they always look like the villains

in a Mighty Duck movie.

You know, they look like they work for the person that's going to beat Rocky. Like they're so appointed.
And even though I always feel that about the uniforms, the best moment is it's like, you know, a few people from this country, a few people like this from that country. And then we send in so many fucking people and I love it every time.

I love it.

I love how many Americans start marching through there.

Like just like a whole fucking,

just more than any other country. And it's like,

you can't see the end of it.

You know what I mean?

Like France sends in their couple dozen and then,

and then what happens just an fucking phalanx of Americans,

just one after another. And they're all so, they're all so good looking.
I love that about us. And I love that we just like, you know, the Swedes get to do a couple sports.
They're like, I hope we can beat that American in that sport that we invented and is the only one we do. And it's like, maybe if you're lucky, but

Swedes brought that sport to America about

120 years ago, and we're good at that too.

And everybody was so smug

about soccer for so long, and it's like,

sorry, we got a little interested,

now you're fucked.

And I

like it.

Thank you.

Are we good at soccer?

We're good at soccer too? I'm not sure.

Okay.

Simone Biles goes so high

up and it's like,

what are you thinking when you're up there?

You know, like left, left, left, right,

down, up. How do you think through it?

She's fully doing a Mortal Kombat finish him

at the end. She's like putting in a Mortal

Kombat fatality. Absolutely.
Down, down, back, back, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, Mortal Kombat fatality. Absolutely.
Sub-Zero wishes. You know, he could never.
Sub-Zero could never. Raiden could never.
I'm too young for that reference. Same.
Just three Gen Z girlies. There's just three patriotic Gen Z girlies.

And that is Oh Say Can You Spin.

One more time for Monet Exchange.

One more time for Alison Reese.

One more time for Vice President Kamala Harris.

When we come back, we'll end on a high note.

And we're back. Because we all need it this week, here it is, the high note.
And we're back because we all need it this week. Here it is.
The high note. Hey, love it.
It's Evan in Seattle. Last summer, my recovery was on the rocks and I left school without my bachelor's, but now I have a fun job.
I married Gabrielle, my partner, four years in February and we're living together now. I'm a non-binary technician.
he's a genderqueer artist, it's awesome. A Certain Kind, his documentary about a queer feminist porn collective in Portland, just got into its third film festival.
I know this is a lot of stuff, but the big high note is this. He was here from Mexico on a student visa, and if you've seen the movie Problemista, it's very much like that.
Really stressful. Graduating from Cornish meant no visa, so we filed for his green card after our wedding in March, and it arrived last week.
No interview. That's so lucky.
Right out of college, he's allowed to work in the USA. If the worst happens in November, we might not be safe, but it's a start.
I think about that all the time, and listening to you guys talk helps me deal. We're making our family, starting with two adorable baby kittens, Jammy and Mouse.
Gabriel's Instagram, Toda La Papita, has pictures of them every day. And you can check out his work there too.
Things are looking up and I'm so glad I can support Gabriel in following his dream. It's my dream too now.
Thanks for listening. Bye.
Thanks everybody who's ended a high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something that gave you hope, you can send us a voice memo to lowly high notes at gmail.com.
Or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber, which you should be, you can leave it in the friend of the pod discord in the love it or leave it channel. And that is our show.
Thank you so much to Alison Reese and Monet exchange. There are 100 days, 100 days until the 2024 election.
If you haven't signed up at votesaveamerica.com slash 2024, do it this weekend. All right.
Have a great night. Thanks, everybody.
Love It or Leave It is a's love it or leave it. Will Miles and Mohamed El-Shiki are our writers.
Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.

Steven Colon is our audio engineer.

And Milo Kim is our videographer.

Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure.

Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna,

for creating and running all of our visuals,

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And to our digital producers, David Toles,

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