Feel the Burn Bag

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Speaker 3 Okay, so I'm Tom Power. I host the award-winning interview show Q.
And it's not just about art. It's also a podcast that delves into conversations with artists as to why we create at all.

Speaker 3 Like you'll hear boy genius member member Lucy Dakis open up about why she's dissatisfied with the way we talk about love.

Speaker 3 You'll hear Kate Blanchett describe what it's like to forget the sound of your own voice. And you'll hear how Coleman Domingo actually honed his acting skills in the circus.

Speaker 3 Listen to Q with me, Tom Power, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 What's up, Los Angeles?

Speaker 1 It's great to be back at Dynasty Typewriter. Welcome to Love It or Leave It.

Speaker 1 We have got an incredible show. Patton Oswalt and Peppermint

Speaker 1 are here to roll around in some summer slump. It'll make sense.
Ashley Nicole Black and Alice Weddelin are back to give their

Speaker 1 priceless thoughts on your free speech. Then we wrap it all up with a spin of the rant wheel.

Speaker 1 But first, let's get into it.

Speaker 2 What a week.

Speaker 1 Just six months into the second Trump administration and three and a half weeks into Epstein Gate, it's official. We're all conspiracy theorists now.

Speaker 1 That's right, the earth is flat and covered with elite pedophiles.

Speaker 1 Now, let's all cast our minds back to 2008. It's the Great Recession.
Carrie and Big got married in the Sex in the City movie, so we figured that was done.

Speaker 1 And Jeffrey Epstein, who'd been accused of abusing multiple teen girls, just struck an unprecedented sweetheart deal with prosecutor Alex Acosta, who would later become Trump's Secretary of Labor.

Speaker 1 But we didn't know that yet. We didn't know Trump would ever have a cabinet.

Speaker 1 Hadn't even heard a porn star's description of what his penis looks like. We were innocent innocent and we were happy.

Speaker 1 Now, under that plea agreement, Epstein served only 13 months in county jail, most of it spent on work release.

Speaker 1 Back to the grind, said a newly freed Jeffrey Epstein, placing a compromising photo of Prince Andrew into an envelope, along with a greetings from Palm Beach postcard, blank except for a 12-digit account number registered to Banco Nacional de Panama.

Speaker 2 It's a living.

Speaker 1 Epstein is described at that time as a hedge fund manager, even though there aren't any SEC filings to prove a hedge fund ever existed.

Speaker 1 And yeah, sure, you can claim your profession is what you believe you should be one day,

Speaker 1 but not in New York. That's an LA thing.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 As a result of the plea, the depths of Epstein's depravity were not publicly known.

Speaker 1 And even though he was a registered sex offender, he still used his wealth to keep his purchase in polite society, holding dinners, donating to academic institutions, mingling with celebrities and elites.

Speaker 1 And he used those connections to enrich himself further. Billionaire Leon Black, the founder of Apollo Global Management, paid Epstein at least $170 million,

Speaker 1 according to an investigation in the Senate led by Ron Wyden, all years after Epstein pled in 2008.

Speaker 1 This was, according to Wyden's investigation, ostensibly for tax planning purposes, even though Epstein had no tax expertise and most of the money was paid outside of any written contract or agreement, which isn't totally true because a lot of what Epstein sent Black was in a folder on his computer labeled taxes.

Speaker 1 Now it's 10 years later, in 2018, we get to see those funky Obama portraits.

Speaker 6 They were cool. They're really cool.

Speaker 1 Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are giving us the feels.

Speaker 1 The success of Crazy Rich Asians leads Hollywood studios to wonder: could we cast Asians?

Speaker 1 And Julia K.

Speaker 1 Brown's reporting in the Miami Herald identified at least 80 victims of Jeffrey Epstein and brought national attention to the Acosta plea agreement, which led the Department of Justice to reopen the investigation.

Speaker 1 Now, 15 years since a 14-year-old girl's family went to the police in Palm Beach to say that she had been molested at Epstein's mansion, and police at that time found multiple girls who'd been victims of sexual abuse.

Speaker 1 Now, all of this fed conspiracy theories and it was pretty justified. Epstein had received special treatment.
His wealth was mysterious. He did cavort with the wealthy and powerful.
He was Jewish.

Speaker 1 But many went further, claiming Epstein was a spy for Mossad, that he amassed a vast trove of blackmail materials, which was why he remained free, and that his impunity was proof of a broader conspiracy between elites and the deep state to protect a vast global ring of famous pedophiles but all of that was about to be put to rest because in july of 2019 federal agents arrested epstein for sexual abuse and sex trafficking the truth would finally come out until just one month later well nettle breaking news sources tell cbs too that jeffrey epstein the billionaire financier and convicted sex offender has died by suicide

Speaker 1 epstein didn't kill himself became a battle cry and his death meant we never got a public trial where we would have gotten much more of the truth plus probably one good podcast and three bad podcasts.

Speaker 1 Now, personally, I think we should have gone ahead with the trial anyway, like when they exhumed the corpse of Pope Formusis and put him on trial in the year 897.

Speaker 1 Every few centuries, the Catholics have like a really good idea.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 1 Donald Trump and his MAGA influencers long recognized the usefulness of the conspiratorial mindset.

Speaker 1 Back in 2016, an idiotic conspiracy theory claimed that, it was called Pizzagate, and it claimed that Hillary Clinton and other Democrats were sending coded messages in their leaked emails, which proved she was running a pedophile ring out of the basement of a DC pizza parlor in a building with no basement.

Speaker 1 And as silly and fake as it was, a very real gunman showed up there firing at a door to release the prisoners. And once I heard the commotion, I just like got mine to go.

Speaker 1 Out of office, Trump and the MAGA establishment fanned the flames of all kinds of conspiracy theories, from Epstein to vaccines, to make sure that all of the red string would lead him back to the White House.

Speaker 1 And it worked. And once in office, he made conspiratorial podcast host Dan Bongino, deputy FBI director.
And he made Cash Battelle, who had praised the QAnon movement, he made him the head of the FBI.

Speaker 1 It was so exciting. This was like the end of the movie, Rudy, for people who think Jews have horns.

Speaker 1 And then it all came crashing down. In February, Attorney General Pam Bondi brought MAGA influencers to the White House to pose with binders of Epstein evidence labeled Epstein Phase 1.

Speaker 1 But the binders actually turned out to reveal no new information. She told a reporter that the Epstein list was on her desk to review, but a few months later said that no such list even exists.

Speaker 1 Phase one, make a big promise. Phase two, humiliate yourself.
Been there, girlfriend.

Speaker 1 And then the New York Times reported that the Justice Department had roped in hundreds of FBI employees and federal prosecutors to comb through more than 100,000 pages of Epstein documents to flag any references to Donald Trump and other prominent people, which they then recorded recorded in a Microsoft SharePoint file.

Speaker 1 In other words, the Justice Department created an Epstein list,

Speaker 1 and they won't release it.

Speaker 1 Now, I get it. Sharing your work is vulnerable.
We all struggle

Speaker 1 with imposter syndrome from time to time, but you made something really special, the Justice Department.

Speaker 1 The world deserves to see it.

Speaker 1 Next, we learn that Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, who at this time last year was Trump's personal attorney, took the highly unusual step of meeting behind closed doors with Epstein accomplice Ghelane Maxwell, who is currently serving a 20-year sentence for sex trafficking.

Speaker 1 But in the tradition of transparency, Blanche did provide the press with a low-res video feed of the meeting, shot from an unrelated hallway with approximately 62 crucial seconds missing.

Speaker 1 Now, all of this raises an obvious question. Is the Trump administration dangling a pardon for Maxwell if she'll say that Trump had no involvement in Epstein's misconduct.

Speaker 1 And that raises an obvious answer: yes.

Speaker 1 After all, seems like if Donald Trump wants to silence Ghelene Maxwell, he's got two options: he dangles a pardon or she dangles from the ceiling.

Speaker 1 And if you came to this show because you like Patton Oswald and Ratatouille,

Speaker 2 welcome.

Speaker 1 Trump was asked about this clip on Monday.

Speaker 8 Pardon for who?

Speaker 9 For Khillain Maxwell.

Speaker 8 Well, I'm allowed to give her a pardon, but nobody's approached me with it. Nobody's asked me about it.

Speaker 1 Hey, no one asked if you were allowed. We're all allowed to do plenty of stuff we absolutely should not do.
I'm allowed to wear flip-flops to a funeral, but I would never, ever do that.

Speaker 1 I would not do that a second time.

Speaker 1 And here's the thing: Trump can't seem to get his story straight about why his friendship with Epstein came to an end, which is weird because explaining why you stopped being friends with a pedophile shouldn't be the hard part.

Speaker 1 After Epstein's indictment in 2019, Trump said that he and Epstein had a falling out 15 years earlier around 2004 and said, the reason doesn't make any difference, frankly.

Speaker 1 The type of thing you say when the reason 100%

Speaker 1 makes a difference. Last week, the White House said in a statement, the fact is that the president kicked Epstein out of his club for being a creep.
And that just doesn't track.

Speaker 1 You can't kick out all the creeps from Mar-a-Lago. That's like kicking out all the Pilates moms from Whole Foods or the virgins out of the gun stores.
You want to have a business.

Speaker 1 Besides, the easy answer is sitting right there. Trump should just admit that his country club doesn't accept Jews.
Now,

Speaker 1 that's a third one. That's a third one.

Speaker 1 I'm hearing it now.

Speaker 1 Anyway, this week we got a news story. Trump explained that his friendship ended when Empsteed betrayed him by poaching employees from Mar-a-Lago.

Speaker 10 You're saying that Jeffrey Epstein poached two of your staffers. Who were they? Were they young? I don't want to say two, or I don't want to say any of them.

Speaker 10 You're talking about many years ago, but yeah, he took people. And because he took people, I say, don't do it anymore.
You know, they work for me. And he took

Speaker 10 beyond that, he took some others. And once he did that, that was the end of him.

Speaker 10 I didn't like when they steal people, I don't like it.

Speaker 1 As I told Jeffrey, people should work at Mar-a-Lago till they die or be buried alive facing my pyramid.

Speaker 1 And then, for the first time in this story, things took a dark turn.

Speaker 1 Trump admitted that the stolen employees from Mar-a-Lago spa included Epstein victim Virginia Jufrey, who died by suicide earlier this year.

Speaker 2 Mr. President, did one of those stolen

Speaker 11 persons include Virginia Effrey?

Speaker 10 I don't know.

Speaker 10 I think she worked at the spa.

Speaker 10 I think so. I think that was one of the people.

Speaker 2 He stole her.

Speaker 1 Goffri's family said in a statement Wednesday, it was shocking to hear President Trump say that he was aware that Virginia had been stolen from Mar-a-Lago.

Speaker 1 It makes us ask if he was aware of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghelane Maxwell's criminal actions, especially given his statement two years later that his good friend Jeffrey likes women on the younger side.

Speaker 1 And they're right to wonder because Trump's timeline doesn't work. Jeffrey said in a 2016 deposition that Maxwell approached her at Mar-a-Lago in 2000.

Speaker 1 Two years later, in 2002, Trump called Epstein a terrific guy in a New York magazine profile. It was in their famous New York's 15 dating under 15 list.

Speaker 1 It's a tough week for news. It's a tough week for news.

Speaker 1 All of this has led to a full-blown revolt among many who believe Trump really would expose the truth about Epstein.

Speaker 12 The Epstein stuff is so crazy because when Cash Patel was on here and he was like, there's no, there's nothing. And I was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 13 I didn't even know what to say.

Speaker 13 He's like, well, we have a film. We're going to to release that film.
And the film has a

Speaker 13 minute missing from it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, do you think we're babies?

Speaker 4 Like, what is this?

Speaker 1 Let's take a deep breath and not get ahead of ourselves. Rogan

Speaker 1 is incorrect that there's a minute missing. Wired updated their report to say it was actually three minutes.

Speaker 1 But hold on, before everybody starts spiraling out, CBS later found that the playback in that video was sped up. So eight minutes are missing.

Speaker 1 And the video doesn't actually prove what the government said it did, which is that no one could have gotten in or out of Epstein's cell, which is absurd on its face when you see that in the video, you cannot see the door to Epstein's cell.

Speaker 1 And then we learned this week that in the video, there is a mysterious orange blur moving up the stairs towards Epstein's cell in the security camera footage from the night he died, which the government claims is a guard holding prison uniforms, but forensics experts say is more likely someone in a prison uniform.

Speaker 1 Now.

Speaker 1 Doesn't all of this more likely confirm that the government wasn't covering up a murder but their own incompetence, guards not checking his cell, rules not being followed, cameras not being functional?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Regardless,

Speaker 1 this story isn't going away because Trump has made the conspiracy theories true.

Speaker 1 There is now a cover-up by a politicized Justice Department doing the bidding of a president who is dissembling about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who dispatched his former personal attorney to talk to Epstein's key accomplice and who was informed by the Attorney General back in May that he is in the Epstein files.

Speaker 1 And the best officials can do is try to distract everyone by pretending to have found some damning new evidence in the Russiagate conspiracy hidden in burn bags, which even Trump couldn't figure out.

Speaker 9 He said what?

Speaker 14 Burn bags of Russia gate materials that the guys supposedly found.

Speaker 8 I don't know that.

Speaker 8 I don't know what you mean by that statement.

Speaker 14 Bags full of of Russian hate.

Speaker 8 Burnbag, I thought you said appointed a man named Bernbang.

Speaker 1 Fuck is he talking about

Speaker 2 the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 He Trump didn't even know that the question was trying to help him out because the claim here is that the Justice Department had damning evidence of its own corruption and then put it in a bag and hid it in the Justice Department for Cash Patel to find years later.

Speaker 1 As a wise man once asked, like, do you think we're babies?

Speaker 1 And that's not the only conspiracy theory we've come to believe.

Speaker 1 In other corrupt autocrats clinging to power to stay out of prison news, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been crying hoax, claiming that contrary to the images we've all seen with our own eyes, no one is starving in Gaza.

Speaker 15 Israel is presented

Speaker 15 as though we are applying a campaign of starvation in Gaza. What a bold-faced lie.

Speaker 15 There is no policy of starvation in Gaza,

Speaker 8 and there is no starvation in Gaza.

Speaker 1 This despite Israel tightening the blockade after the temporary ceasefire ended in March and aid into Gaza plummeting as a result. But you can't get away with denying such an obvious reality.

Speaker 1 You're not Hunter Biden or my dad bringing me to Hooters that time.

Speaker 1 Netanyahu's claimed that reports of the IDF killing Palestinians at aid distribution sites run by U.S. contractors are a fabricated smear against Israel, even though a former U.S.

Speaker 1 Navy SEAL came forward to say he witnessed this firsthand.

Speaker 16 I witnessed the Israeli Defense Forces shooting at the crowds of Palestinians.

Speaker 16 I witnessed the Israeli Defense Forces firing a main gun tank round from the the Markava tank into a crowd of people.

Speaker 1 And Netanyahu continues to blame Hamas for stealing aid, even as Israeli military officials told reporters they'd found no proof that Hamas had systematically stolen aid from the UN and that the UN aid delivery system was largely effective.

Speaker 1 That doesn't mean Hamas isn't monstrous. John Wayne Gacy didn't commit tax fraud.
Doesn't make him a good guy. It's just the facts on the ground.

Speaker 1 And while Netanyahu insists that Israel isn't to blame for the lack of aid reaching Gaza, we've repeatedly seen that Israel will allow more food and medicine into Gaza when international pressure ramps up.

Speaker 1 And we all love ratatouille, but we have to talk about this.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Boy, can that rat cook.

Speaker 1 Even Donald Trump can see what is happening here.

Speaker 8 But we're going to be getting some good, strong food. We can save a lot of people.
I mean, some of those kids are, that's real starvation stuff. I see it.
And you can't fake that. So we're going to be

Speaker 1 even more involved.

Speaker 1 Before we give Trump too much credit, he also demanded a thank you from Gaza.

Speaker 18 You know, you really at least want to have somebody say thank you. No other country gave anything.
We gave $60 million two weeks ago for food.

Speaker 1 for Gaza.

Speaker 18 Nobody gave but us.

Speaker 18 And nobody said, gee, thank you very much. And it would be nice to to have at least a thank you.

Speaker 1 Sorry, man. Hamas stole the thank you cards.

Speaker 1 We've also been told it's a conspiracy to claim that Benjamin Netanyahu is prolonging this war for his own political purposes.

Speaker 1 But we now have reporting by the Times from inside the room where Netanyahu was reportedly ready to accept a ceasefire a year ago until far-right ministers threatened to withdraw from his coalition.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine wanting to keep a job this much. If John and Tommy kicked me out, I'd be like, okay, cool, but can you pay me in Steam points?

Speaker 1 Well, I'd be doing a lot of gaming. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Netanyahu continued the war, even as his own commanders told him that there was no further advantage to be gained from the conflict. It meant Israel left certain areas only to recapture them later.

Speaker 1 Taking, giving up, and retaking Al-Shifa hospital in Gaza City led to its near total destruction. Thousands of Palestinians and at least eight hostages have died in the year since that meeting.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, Israel's standing in the world hasn't been this precarious in decades.

Speaker 1 European leaders have rightly begun a push to recognize a Palestinian state, which Israel claims would be rewarding Hamas for committing terrorism.

Speaker 1 Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announced that Canada would be open to joining Europe in recognizing Palestine as well.

Speaker 1 Former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau released a statement praising Kearney, saying, baby, you're a firework.

Speaker 1 Come on, show them what you're worth. And it's strange.

Speaker 1 It's like a weird tone to take in it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Recognizing a Palestinian state is not a victory for Hamas. It points to a way out of a bleak and hopeless reality that empowers Hamas.
Hamas started this war. Hamas could end this war.
Hamas is evil.

Speaker 1 And in holding hostages and prolonging this conflict, it continues to be responsible for the suffering of the Palestinian people. That is true.
But Israel's conduct of this war has been depraved.

Speaker 1 Gaza is leveled. At least 18,000 children are dead.
Israel is responsible for Gaza's suffering too. That is also true.

Speaker 1 And there's a lot of accusations of anti-Semitism and there's a lot of anti-Semitism. But nothing true is anti-Semitic and nothing anti-Semitic is true.

Speaker 1 Which is why

Speaker 1 Jewish people like me demand Israel do what it can to end that suffering right now, because we hold Israel to a higher standard than we do a terrorist organization.

Speaker 1 And if that makes me a conspiracy theorist, fine, because we're all conspiracy theorists now.

Speaker 1 I do think Justin Trudeau is Castro's kid. That is something I

Speaker 1 genuinely believe.

Speaker 1 But so is Katy Perry.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 We've got a great show. We've got a fun show.

Speaker 1 Coming up. It's Pat and Oswald, it's Peppermint, and only the fun news.
Only good stories, I promise. We'll be back.

Speaker 19 Hey, don't go anywhere.

Speaker 20 There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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Speaker 2 And we're back!

Speaker 1 Please welcome to the stage a duo I'm calling Peppermint Patton, even though they both begged me not to.

Speaker 1 It's Peppermint and Patton Oswald.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 What an entrance.

Speaker 2 Hi. Hi.
Come in.

Speaker 1 Good to see you.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 1 Please come in, Patton. So good to see you.
Oh, bring it in. Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 Ow. You look ravishing.

Speaker 5 Ahem.

Speaker 1 And you're here as well.

Speaker 5 Don't be jealous.

Speaker 1 We're too, you know, just sort of like a statuesque, stunning, ravishing person, and we're just two short kings, you know? Yeah, man.

Speaker 5 We're schlubbing it up, baby.

Speaker 2 Schlubbing it up. Schlubbing it up.

Speaker 5 Schlub lovers.

Speaker 5 Thanksgiving came early.

Speaker 17 Sounds hot.

Speaker 1 A schlub in every pot. Yeah, it's right.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 all right. What am I going to say here? I know.

Speaker 1 So obviously, a lot of the news is heavy, but not all of it.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of times.

Speaker 2 Hello?

Speaker 1 The summer is also a time where you get a lot of silly stories because, you know,

Speaker 1 it's a time for what we're calling here summer slop.

Speaker 1 Which is why we're doing a segment we call News It or Lose It Summer Slop Edition.

Speaker 5 Summer Slop.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 22 We're in the slop.

Speaker 2 I like it.

Speaker 5 Been there. That is not how a head connects to a torso.

Speaker 5 I hate to break this to you, Mr. Lovitt, but.

Speaker 17 I'll explain after this.

Speaker 22 All right.

Speaker 5 That looks like

Speaker 5 my failed audition for the substance.

Speaker 17 Or a human centipede. What's going on in this picture?

Speaker 1 Here's how it works.

Speaker 1 I will announce a Pope culture story that makes you say, all right, fine, okay.

Speaker 1 And you will tell us, is this story real or is this story fake?

Speaker 1 It's as simple as that.

Speaker 1 Peppermint, I'll start with you. One, JoJo Siwa debuted her new veneer.

Speaker 17 Totally fake.

Speaker 19 No, wait, go ahead. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Her new veneers in a borderline, not safe for work photo shoot with Big Brother boyfriend Chris Hughes.

Speaker 5 Did you say new veneers? New veneers.

Speaker 1 In her mouth, presumably.

Speaker 5 Did you hear the Rolling Stones are dropping new veneers today? We're really excited. Let's get down to Tower Records.

Speaker 17 I went, and this is a photo. I think that is, I think that could be

Speaker 2 true.

Speaker 1 It's fake.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 8 Damn.

Speaker 1 This headline, however, is real and from just last week. Jojo Siwa has Betty Davis eyes for Chris Hughes's testicles, names them Jimmy and Timmy.

Speaker 17 That's not real.

Speaker 22 That's real.

Speaker 1 What? That's Summer Slot.

Speaker 1 That's Summer Slot.

Speaker 5 No, I'm sorry. That's fake because what did she name the third one?

Speaker 17 Now, how about this Bictarvi ad?

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't have Betty Davis eyes for something. That's not how Betty Davis eyes work.
You just have them or you don't. Betty Davis.

Speaker 17 She invented being what?

Speaker 2 Queer?

Speaker 17 Or what did she say? She invented like bisexuality.

Speaker 2 Whatever.

Speaker 5 But also, Betty Davis, her whole thing, her eyes were, it was about being aggressively indifferent and judgmental towards someone.

Speaker 5 Her whole look was so, you don't want someone to have Betty Davis' eyes for you. That means you're going, ugh, not for me.

Speaker 2 You suck.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean? That's interesting. Well, I picture this.

Speaker 5 I'd like Lauren Bacall eyes at me, but not Betty Davis' eyes.

Speaker 17 We should start the song. Play the song, Betty Davis.

Speaker 17 I'll lip-sync it.

Speaker 5 Ladies and gentlemen, Kim Carnes. Let's bring her out.

Speaker 1 Have you seen those ads where Lauren Bacall sells decaf coffee in the 70s? Yes. My God, she makes that coffee.
I want to fuck that coffee.

Speaker 5 She, in the ad, it looks like she just fucked the coffee. It was like, listen while he's asleep.
I just want to let you know. Is that the one tastiest?

Speaker 17 Is she coming from behind a door or something?

Speaker 1 She does. She filmed a dozen of the fucking.
Oh, yeah, yeah. She's just always coming around the corner being like, I'm wide fucking awake.
I need decaf.

Speaker 1 But this decaf doesn't taste like dog shit. But she has a beautiful mid-Atlantic accent.
It's the end of it. It's the end of that mid-Atlantic accent.
Patton, over to you.

Speaker 1 Nancy Pelosi danced with her fellow little monsters at Lady Gaga's San Francisco show.

Speaker 2 Wait.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 1 Nancy Pelosi danced with her fellow little monsters at Lady Gaga's San Francisco show.

Speaker 2 Real.

Speaker 5 I think it's real. It is real.

Speaker 17 These softballs.

Speaker 2 I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 I believe we have a video. No.

Speaker 1 That's not her.

Speaker 9 Oh, there she is.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 5 She's being very careful with that hip.

Speaker 1 She's just dancing. She's dancing.

Speaker 1 Bye, so, bye, so.

Speaker 2 Peppermint.

Speaker 17 Yes.

Speaker 1 Steve Jobs' daughter, Eve Jobs, snuck into her own wedding through a secret door.

Speaker 1 Steve Jobs' daughter, Eve, snuck into her own wedding through a secret door, real or fake.

Speaker 17 Into her own wedding while she was getting married through a secret wedding.

Speaker 2 Secret door.

Speaker 2 into her own window.

Speaker 5 He named his daughter a name that rhymed with his.

Speaker 5 Wait till I tell my daughter fatten

Speaker 5 because that was the thing I was just making fun of.

Speaker 17 Fatten.

Speaker 17 Fatten. I think if she's Okay, yeah, I'm going to say it's true if it was an entrance.

Speaker 1 You got it.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 15 Work.

Speaker 1 She sneaked into her UK wedding to

Speaker 1 Olympic equestrian Harry Charles to avoid paparazzi.

Speaker 2 We can't get enough of that Eve Jobs news.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 The press is clamoring for Eve Jobs news.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The son wants some pics of Eve Jobs. Get down there.
Oh, that's the worst accent I could have done.

Speaker 2 Holy moly.

Speaker 5 As it left my skull,

Speaker 5 I wanted to punch my own mouth to stop it coming out.

Speaker 1 I should just say that Pataniz has a chimney sweep

Speaker 22 and a little hat.

Speaker 5 Hello, Govnor!

Speaker 5 Let's go get a couple of doggerotypes of Eve Jobs.

Speaker 5 Nods as good as a wink.

Speaker 5 Jesus, sorry.

Speaker 1 No, I thought I liked it. Now, Peppermint, I saw photos of you in the second season of Survival of the Thickest, which is on Netflix, and I thought they were your actual wedding photos.

Speaker 1 Can we see them?

Speaker 1 Whoa!

Speaker 1 Did anyone call you thinking they were real?

Speaker 21 Yes.

Speaker 2 Huh. Were they mom?

Speaker 17 I was like, mom, I would have invited you to my wedding.

Speaker 1 Yeah, lots of people thought they were real.

Speaker 17 I mean, the photos are real photos, but it's not like, you know, digital or whatever.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 what? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How does one judge the thickest and what happens when you survive?

Speaker 17 You have to see the video from the wedding night.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 17 I think it's kind of confusing because my name's Peppermint, and I play

Speaker 17 Peppermint on the show. And so that's why it kind of got.

Speaker 1 confusing. Oh, people thought it was.
Oh, people didn't realize it was like a scripted show.

Speaker 23 Yeah, which is like, watch the fucking show, y'all

Speaker 17 yeah

Speaker 17 let me know very quickly who was a supporter and who wasn't darling

Speaker 17 again mom

Speaker 1 just gotta watch uh now you're also in an all-trans and nine bonnery performance of the drowsy chaperone at carnegie hall oh me too

Speaker 1 i was like oh that's cool wait you're not

Speaker 1 you're not

Speaker 1 I thought maybe you were coming out.

Speaker 17 Hey, drum roll, please.

Speaker 5 I would not come out with dresses this. My God, I'd have a little bit of a drink.

Speaker 2 Go back in. Go back in.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I look like the guy that built the closet. I don't look like the guy coming out of it.

Speaker 1 You could come out as a lesbian who's given up.

Speaker 6 There you go.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey.

Speaker 4 Touche.

Speaker 5 Ever since the pit bull died, I just can't.

Speaker 5 Sorry, I'm blowing up your spot. Carnegie Hall.

Speaker 2 Carnegie Hall.

Speaker 17 Yes, don't be so jealous, Patton.

Speaker 17 Yes, Carnegie Hall, my first time performing there. I'd be very excited to do so with a fabulous cast starring Laverne Cox.

Speaker 2 Cool.

Speaker 1 They say you get there with practice.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 17 I was more interested in the accent. What was it? Who was it? I'm sorry, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know what accent that was. That was scamp.

Speaker 5 Hang on, it's a musical?

Speaker 17 It's a musical.

Speaker 5 So, but the acoustics in Carnegie Hall are incredible. Do you need to adjust? Obviously, you've been rehearsing.
Did people have to adjust their singing to or maybe not?

Speaker 5 Maybe you're going to go out and just wing it.

Speaker 17 We're just going to see what happens. There you go, man.

Speaker 2 I love it. I mean, have you seen the world lately? Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 You can also get there without practice.

Speaker 1 So, there's two ways to get there. Patton, J.D.
Vance defended Sidney Sweeney from critics of her American Eagle Good Jeans campaign.

Speaker 1 Tweeting the left is just jealous because their skinny jeans are all baggy and stretched out. Buying five pairs for Usha right now.

Speaker 5 What a bitchy eighth grader he is.

Speaker 5 First off, I don't know why. I can't believe we're in 2025, ads for blue jeans and donuts are flirting with eugenics.

Speaker 17 Wait, what's the donut one?

Speaker 5 Oh, you haven't seen the dunkin donuts one?

Speaker 2 Oh, Lord.

Speaker 5 The guy comes out, he's like, I have this summer glow about me. You know, some people say it's my genetics.
And that it's a Dunkin' Donuts ad that invokes

Speaker 17 genetics. Is he like Aryan?

Speaker 5 No, he's like, he's very kind of Mediterranean looking, like, I have this, but it's still about, I have strong genes, and that is what, and that's, and enjoy your Dunkin' Donuts.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 19 what?

Speaker 5 Maybe, maybe, like, listen, maybe Adolph Hitler just needed a little bit of vocal fry and some nice tits. He really could have gone a little farther, you know?

Speaker 5 Listen, anything that like with J.D. Vance and Trump, it's just, you're just looking at eighth graders.

Speaker 5 That's the mentality you're looking at. And they're just,

Speaker 5 they're there to sell merch. He's trying to sell merch.

Speaker 1 Now, here's the thing.

Speaker 1 J.D. Vance didn't actually make that post, but the official White House accounts.

Speaker 17 Wait, lies and deceits.

Speaker 1 This warped, moronic, and dense liberal thinking is a big reason why Americans voted the way they did in 2024. They're tired of this bullshit.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute, what bullshit are you?

Speaker 1 The bullshit is the saying that the Sidney Sweeney ad is bad. They're saying that the White House is taking Sidney Sweeney's side.

Speaker 5 No one is.

Speaker 1 The White House is teaming Sweeney on this one.

Speaker 5 No one is saying that the ad is evil. They're saying it's fucking lame.

Speaker 5 There's two different things.

Speaker 5 They just want something to be pissed off about. That's the only way, the only oxygen they breathe is being pissed off about something.

Speaker 2 Yes. That's it.

Speaker 1 I think that's right. I think that's right.

Speaker 1 I should, you know,

Speaker 1 it just seemed like it was probably mostly about a pun on the word genes.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's all it was. That's probably, I don't think they started by being like, these are genes for the fatherland.

Speaker 2 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 5 They weren't doing like, will the people that know will get the message? No, it was just some, it wasn't some copper going, can we make this 14 words long, wink, wink? No, they were just doing it.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute.

Speaker 17 Did you see the thing from the

Speaker 17 I don't know who the people who like the marketing agency that the conversation between Sydney's team and the marketing agency. Did you see that?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 2 Someone was

Speaker 2 dead.

Speaker 17 And he was like,

Speaker 17 I guess it was a person recounting what happened on their Zoom meeting when they were like booking it. And they were like, Well, Sydney, like, how far do you want to push it?

Speaker 17 And she was like, Let's go all the way, baby.

Speaker 2 So, well, I don't think she

Speaker 1 meant all the way to Nazism.

Speaker 1 All the way. I think she probably meant maximum hotness.

Speaker 5 And also,

Speaker 19 no, have you seen her ass, though?

Speaker 17 Okay, sorry.

Speaker 5 But it's also, if you watch the ad, it's clearly like, how much boob can we get away with showing on this commercial?

Speaker 17 It's ten under the.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 There's side boob in the commercial.

Speaker 5 Which we haven't had since the Lauren McCall

Speaker 19 coffee ad. Strangely enough.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so we're bringing that back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Those ads with the coffee. She's

Speaker 1 wearing full sweaters, so sexual.

Speaker 1 They should be taken down. Not an inch of skin in sight.

Speaker 5 We only take the purest coffee beans. The weaker ones are loaded onto trains.
and taken away to be disposed of because we can't have we can't weaken the

Speaker 5 strength of the of the coffee beans. We must

Speaker 5 you could you could enjoy your folders today, but tomorrow belongs to Sanka

Speaker 1 Sanka will reign for a thousand years

Speaker 17 heavy

Speaker 2 peppermint coffee, yes.

Speaker 1 Online weirdos are trying to drum up controversy over Pedro Pascal being physically affectionate with his fantastic four co-star Vanessa Kirby. Real or fake? That's real.
It is real.

Speaker 5 That's real. And also, she's the one doing all the effects.
He's not. She's all over him.

Speaker 24 She is.

Speaker 5 And by the way, why wouldn't you be?

Speaker 19 It's Pedro Pascal.

Speaker 1 It's Pedro Pascal. I'd be a show.

Speaker 2 Oh. It's the fantastic for the movie.
Fantastic for the movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And what the hell? Okay.

Speaker 1 And I don't.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen the film. Is he the stretchy one?

Speaker 2 Yeah. He is

Speaker 17 Dr. Something, right?

Speaker 5 Excuse me. He plays Mr.
Fantastic. The original Fantastic Four.
It's Reed Richards, Sue Storm, her brother Johnny Storm, and Ben Grim. Now, they, this is their first issue.

Speaker 5 Just give me, how long is this podcast?

Speaker 1 Take your time.

Speaker 2 Okay, so.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Oh, but that's from the actual movie. No.
No.

Speaker 1 That's...

Speaker 17 Is it his baby? No. Is there a baby in there?

Speaker 5 A baby in the movie. In the movie, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, she was pregnant in real life. And in reality, in real life.

Speaker 1 If you get pregnant in the movie, you have a baby in real life.

Speaker 17 Mom, I did get married.

Speaker 1 Patton, one final question on the topic of

Speaker 1 Dr. Fantastic.

Speaker 5 Missed. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 He's not even a doctor.

Speaker 5 You are turning me into a Trump voter.

Speaker 1 Does he not have a PhD or anything?

Speaker 1 He doesn't have a PhD or anything?

Speaker 5 He has a PhD, but he calls himself Mr.

Speaker 1 Fantastic. Well, that's cool.
Very down to earth.

Speaker 2 I like that.

Speaker 5 Very down to earth.

Speaker 1 I know, but you know what? All these PhDs call themselves Dr.

Speaker 2 Edwards. He's humble.

Speaker 5 That's why he calls himself Mr. Fantastic, not Dr.
Fantastic.

Speaker 1 He's humble. There was a show on in the 90s that was basically

Speaker 1 a night rider on a boat.

Speaker 5 Friends. Yeah, I saw it.

Speaker 1 And the show had a kind of a a dramatic challenge, which is

Speaker 1 something the boat, you had to have the, the final conflict needed to be at the dock

Speaker 1 or by the bay.

Speaker 1 You really have to come up with, it's hard to come up with reasons. You need a stretchy man all the time.

Speaker 19 It's not that hard.

Speaker 5 I defer what Peppermint said.

Speaker 17 Exactly.

Speaker 17 Did the show end at the Dock of the Bay or the Sound?

Speaker 1 I don't really remember. I would always try to find Knight Rider.

Speaker 5 Let's sell this cocaine at the end of the pier near Crime Boat.

Speaker 5 Crime Boat.

Speaker 1 Knightrider was cool because it was a car. It could go more places.
Pretty cool. And the car was just AI.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Huh?

Speaker 17 Kit. It was AI.

Speaker 1 It wasn't a person person in there.

Speaker 2 Sort of. Oh, I thought that they.

Speaker 5 I just assumed they put the

Speaker 5 butler, the guy from Magnum PI under the hood, and he just talked to Hasselhoff the whole time.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know how they made it, but I do think that it was Mr. Fink.

Speaker 1 Who is the teacher in Boy Meets World?

Speaker 1 Mr. Feeney was the voice of Knight Rider.

Speaker 5 Oh, it was Mr. Feeney.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 2 In real life? Wasn't it also

Speaker 5 PI? Wasn't he also the voice?

Speaker 1 Was he also Higgins?

Speaker 2 Oh, no. I'm mixing him up.

Speaker 5 Never mind.

Speaker 1 God God damn it. Got him.
Got him. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Higgins was under the hood of the general leave, but they didn't let him talk.

Speaker 5 And he was under there for other reasons we're not going to go into right now.

Speaker 1 Patton. Dean Kane called the new Superman film woke over its bimbo supergirl and badly trained crypto.
Said Kane, liberals cannot train their dogs. True or false?

Speaker 5 Wait a minute.

Speaker 5 His whole issue with the movie was that Superman

Speaker 5 didn't adequately teach his dog obedience.

Speaker 1 Seems like it could be true, but is it?

Speaker 5 I know he's been running his neck about that movie. I don't think that was one of his complaints.
You're right.

Speaker 1 You're right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.

Speaker 1 He did wonder aloud how woke is Holly going to make this character

Speaker 1 and thought, and I think it was a mistake by James Gunn to say it's an immigrant thing.

Speaker 1 Superman's an immigrant. Face it, it's a fucking fact.

Speaker 2 A Jewish immigrant. Okay.

Speaker 17 Somebody send him some donuts and jeans.

Speaker 2 Patton, I'm glad you're here.

Speaker 5 Why does the whale have to be white?

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 1 Patton. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have been reminded often of an essay you wrote for Wired magazine in the year 2010 called Wake Up Geek Culture, Time to Die. That's right.

Speaker 1 I really recommend people go back and read this essay because you could not have known how right this essay from 2010 was going to be. Do you remember writing this?

Speaker 5 I very much remember writing it and struggling with it with the editors and going back and forth about it.

Speaker 5 I just thought that I just, I could, I could feel only, and only because I know this world, once I saw that the special effects were at the point where they could basically do anything that was in comics, and once I saw the money that Iron Man made,

Speaker 5 I could sense the, oh, this is going to spread like a virus and then collapse in on itself, which is what has happened, which that's what we're seeing happen right now.

Speaker 1 And you, in the essay, you write about the fact that we were heading towards a future where because

Speaker 1 even things that once took took kind of nerdy enthusiasm to find would be available to everyone, that slowly but surely everything would become a remix and suddenly you'd see all kinds of characters stuck together and in all kinds of genres suddenly mixed.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden you have ChatGPT and all of these AI programs have people are making this.

Speaker 1 Like there's, I think Amazon has just announced that they're planning to do some kind of a streaming service where you can just ask it to make what you want it to make for you.

Speaker 5 Dear God, it is at this point where we have lost the thrill of the search and also the thrill of the waiting.

Speaker 5 It used to be a thrill to wait for someone creative to drop something you had never heard before. Now it's like, if I had this idea, it should happen right now.

Speaker 5 By the way, I have all kinds of first draft ideas that suck and shouldn't come to light. That's why you rework something until it's good.

Speaker 5 But now, and by the way, this, what you just described is happening

Speaker 5 on every level of society. There's cookies now where the cookie is, but it's got pretzels in it and potato chips and gummy worm bits.
It's like, why choose between eight snacks?

Speaker 5 We just crammed them all together and you can just have them.

Speaker 2 Like, it's weird. You are losing me.

Speaker 17 Don't nobody say nothing about my everything cookie.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 17 That's the only thing I have left.

Speaker 5 I'm just saying we are drifting into this realm of the eternal first drafts. Oh, wow.
The first draft idea, and you can just immediately spit it out.

Speaker 1 But speaking of not doing that and working on something until it's good, your new audio special

Speaker 1 is today's version of a comedy album.

Speaker 1 When does it come out? Is it out right now? Did it just come out?

Speaker 5 It will come out in a few more. We'll announce the date in a few weeks, but I recorded a comedy album.

Speaker 5 You can listen to it on Spotify or on your thing. It's not a visual thing.
It is, you can walk around and listen to it. That's the way I experienced albums.

Speaker 5 And if this is a cranky old man thing to do, I don't care.

Speaker 1 I'm doing it. I don't care either.
I'm glad you're doing it.

Speaker 1 Because I like I remember finding the old Bob Newhart records.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I remember listening to your albums

Speaker 1 as albums

Speaker 1 when I was growing up and an adult. And I love them.
And they were audio. It's always been great to have albums as audio.

Speaker 5 I love listening to albums, especially a comedy album, because

Speaker 5 the crowd starts to take on a personality. You begin to recognize someone's laugh, and you're like, that person really dug this way more than anyone else in the audience.

Speaker 5 I wonder what that person's story is, why they connected someone.

Speaker 5 Especially if you listen to Jonathan Winter's old albums, there are jokes.

Speaker 2 Some jokes he does, the whole audience laughs.

Speaker 5 Other jokes he'll do, and you'll hear like two or three people losing their minds. Like, oh my God, I got what he's talking about, and no one else does.
And that's also part of the thrill.

Speaker 1 And that's sometimes the most, you've like, you'll tell, if you have a joke and it works for just, like, it's worth it. It was worth it.
Yes. It was worth it.

Speaker 1 Because if that person got it the right amount, that's good feeling.

Speaker 5 There's a, okay, there's a moment in

Speaker 5 The Last Jedi,

Speaker 5 Ryan Johnson's Star Wars film, where he does a visual reference to the most obscure bit of Star Wars lore.

Speaker 5 I can't believe he got it into the movie, but there was a little parody film that was made back in the day called Hardware Wars.

Speaker 5 I don't know if anyone knows what Hardware was. It was this little short film that got really, really popular.
It was a parody of Star Wars where like the spaceships were irons flying around.

Speaker 5 So there is a shot in The Last Jedi where it's a machine that is ironing the Imperial uniforms. But the first shot is the iron against this black background.
It looks like it's flying through space.

Speaker 5 And I'm in

Speaker 5 the,

Speaker 5 oh my God, where did they used to do the Oscars downtown, the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion? I was at the premiere, and the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion is packed. And when that scene happened, me,

Speaker 5 one guy way down there, and one guy way up in the balcony were like, ah, like you could hear us

Speaker 5 getting the reference. It was such an amazing moment that that happened.

Speaker 5 Just imagine this giant space and it's actually quiet, but you hear this all, ah, that's a thing.

Speaker 1 I went to the premiere for the third one, and the head of the studio came out and said, Well, they've made a dynamic film. And I was like, Oh, no,

Speaker 1 this is going to be rough. And it was, and then everybody walked out in silence.

Speaker 5 That's the equivalent of like when your friends band, when you, if you're in a band and you come off stage, your friend's like, You guys look like you're having a lot of fun up there, man.

Speaker 5 You guys were having fun. That looked fun.
You guys were really enjoying yourselves.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 5 that's when you know it's not good.

Speaker 1 And if you want to have fun, you can check out Patton's audio special, Black Coffee and Ice Water on Audible in November,

Speaker 1 November 20th.

Speaker 1 And you can catch Peppermint and Survival of the Thickest on Netflix, her documentary, A Deeper Love, and in her upcoming performance of the drowsy chaperone at Carnegie Hall.

Speaker 2 Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Hall.

Speaker 1 Next up, it's Ashley, Nicole Black, and Alice Mutterland. Woo!

Speaker 19 Hey, don't go anywhere.

Speaker 20 There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

Speaker 1 Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Civitech. Are you frustrated with the state of politics right now looking for a way to make an impact without getting tear gassed or arrested? Or why not both?

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Speaker 2 And we're back!

Speaker 1 Please put your hands together for the amazing Ashley Nicole Black and the astounding Alice Wetterland.

Speaker 2 Hi

Speaker 1 Welcome, welcome, hello, hello, hi, hi.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 Good to see you again.

Speaker 1 You too. Ashley, you were a longtime correspondent for Full Frontal with Samby.

Speaker 1 It's not a great moment for late night. Yeah.

Speaker 23 15 people remember it.

Speaker 1 The late show was canceled. What was your reaction to that?

Speaker 23 I mean, instantly, because, you know, obviously I'm like in the community. So we heard about it minutes before you did.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 23 I was instantly like, something's not right because I know the show is good and I know the ratings are good.

Speaker 23 And I know what it costs to make a late night show, which is roughly three pieces of popcorn and like

Speaker 23 a Diet Coke if your boss is fancy.

Speaker 23 So it's like, something's not adding up. And then, of course, like the news comes out and you're like, oh, it isn't.
It isn't adding up.

Speaker 23 And what was, I'll say, silver lining about it is that this has actually been happening for a while. Shows getting canceled for like weird political reasons.

Speaker 23 But they always come out and they go, it was about money. And then everybody goes, it was about money.

Speaker 23 Thanks, CEO, for telling us what it was about. And then like us weirdo artists are like, it wasn't about money.
Guys, that's not what it is. There's a weird political thing happening.

Speaker 23 And so this one, I think, because the show got canceled so soon after Stephen said the thing, you just like couldn't deny that something strange had happened.

Speaker 23 So it's almost like the first time everyone was like, That is weird, which was exciting for me, a person who always sees the weird.

Speaker 1 Alice, what do you think? But it

Speaker 11 I'm gonna disagree

Speaker 11 because it is about money. I mean, my show was just canceled.

Speaker 11 Like you saw it.

Speaker 1 Are you putting it in quotes because it wasn't canceled?

Speaker 11 Yes, I am putting it in quotes because it wasn't canceled. So we wrote an ending to our series that we were all really proud of.
It was Resident Alien. Resident Alien.

Speaker 11 Coming to your TV

Speaker 2 when?

Speaker 11 No one knows.

Speaker 11 That's part of the problem.

Speaker 11 Our show, we wrote an ending because we were sick of them nickel and diming us on everything. And we were making the show for less and less money each season.
And we were like, let's get out of here.

Speaker 11 If they want to pick us up, they have to spend this amount of money. Otherwise, we're out.
And we wrote an ending. We're all proud of it.
We all got to say goodbye to our show.

Speaker 11 And then they were like, we went to Comic-Con and they were like, we're going to tell everybody that it's ending this season so that you can promote the show. And then

Speaker 11 this article came out. It was like, Resident Alien canceled.
I'm like, well, is that really what happened?

Speaker 11 Or did it sort of like, you know, like, don't tell anybody about the breakup. I think we should roll it out together.
It's like, she got dumped. Like, that's not what we talked about.

Speaker 23 about she didn't break up with me I broke up with her

Speaker 11 that's so interesting it's so interesting why would they do that

Speaker 11 because the company that we work for and I don't know what it is

Speaker 11 so I can't name names

Speaker 11 we they're the kind of company that they'll call you and they'll be like hey I just want to make sure do you have everything you need because we want to make sure you don't that kind of thing

Speaker 11 Where it's almost like they do it for sport to make our lives worth it worse. And that's why I say it is about money too.

Speaker 11 We didn't get canceled for political reasons, except for the political reason that the machine that we all make this stuff within has become a money-making endeavor for shareholders that it's not supposed to be.

Speaker 11 It was never about, you know, telling stories on TV and movies was never about making money for shareholders.

Speaker 11 It was like, you know, some people got rich, but now it's about David Zazlav making $250 million while the writers, they beg for $10 million over three years.

Speaker 11 It's like there's people whose whole job job it is to squeeze money out of a thing that was never supposed to make money. That kind of money, you know?

Speaker 11 And now we're fucked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was, there was like a, it was like Hollywood was built to make people like, hey, check out my boat money.

Speaker 1 And then it was like, wow, if you're really good at Hollywood, you get boat money. And if you're really good at it, you get to be like a highfalutin, like, you know,

Speaker 1 Robert Evans type. You know, this kid stays in the picture.
Everybody in the hot tub kind of a thing. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 it wasn't supposed to be NASDAQ money. No.
You know, but then it's like, actually, with Iron Man, there's NASDAQ money in it. And it was like, NASDAQ money? Holy fuck.

Speaker 1 Let's get some of that NASDAQ money. I don't think sketch comedy is going to make us that NASDAQ money.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this little show about

Speaker 1 a kind of befuddled alien is going to make us NASDAQ money. I don't know if these sketches by black women are going to make us NASDAQ money.

Speaker 2 Certainly it's not.

Speaker 23 It's also, though, like the boat money, money has become removed from labor, right?

Speaker 23 So even the people who are making a ton of money and you're like, that person's making too much money to like look hot in a movie, she still had to show up to work and look hot in the movie.

Speaker 23 You know what I mean? Like she clocked in.

Speaker 23 Even the execs who were like green lighting pictures or giving writers notes or whatever, they clock in, they do a job, and in exchange for that, they got their boat and cocaine money.

Speaker 23 Even if you think it's too much money, it was in exchange for labor.

Speaker 23 Now money is flowing out and it's not going to labor and it's not going to promo and it's not going to buying props and drugs anymore

Speaker 1 it's going elsewhere we had an idea for doing something on this show that would involved um like a candy glass vase remember that and we didn't do it because it was like this is stupid and you thought of it 15 minutes for the show you dumb idiot uh

Speaker 1 but at like 4 30 on the day of the show we like called around and this one of the places that does props in la was closed and i like called and I was like, oh, I missed them. They closed.

Speaker 1 And then the guy called me back and is like, hey, we just missed a call from you. And I was like, oh, I was thinking about doing this.
And he was like, well, you could do it with this.

Speaker 1 You could do it with that. He was like so excited because he was like,

Speaker 1 I love props. I'm a prop guy.
I got all kinds of props. You need glasses.
I got vases. I got cups.

Speaker 1 It was nice. It was like, oh, right.
This town used to fucking make shit.

Speaker 11 And now it doesn't because they make things in Atlanta and Vancouver. Our show, Resident Alien, had a,

Speaker 11 we rated in the Nielsen ratings. We were in the top 10 in Nielsen for our third season

Speaker 11 and they came back and told us we weren't making them it's not profitable and it's like yeah it's not profitable if you want to rent Capri for your wedding

Speaker 11 but if you just want a boat and some cocaine

Speaker 11 which is what you should want you fucking monster

Speaker 11 and the thing is A24 After the writer's strike, after the actor strike, they were just like, what are your demands? Okay, we'll meet them.

Speaker 11 Okay,

Speaker 11 you want to make these movies? Okay, we'll make them. And we'll get on our boats with our cocaine later.

Speaker 11 And no one hates us.

Speaker 11 So the model exists, right?

Speaker 23 I might change my LLC name to boat and cocaine.

Speaker 11 I think that's what we're doing. Because

Speaker 23 I will tell you, like, all of my friends who are comedy writers, we are just trying to make... boat and cocaine shows.

Speaker 23 Like,

Speaker 23 I was telling you, XH, I go home every single single time I go home, whether it's once a month, three times a week, when I arrive at my mother's house, my family is watching Martin.

Speaker 6 You would think

Speaker 23 Martin was being produced today.

Speaker 23 They're watching Martin, okay? You could not convince a studio in Los Angeles to make a show like Martin, which is one set, a bunch of actors who weren't super famous at the time.

Speaker 23 Boat and cocaine budget TV show. People are watching them.
We have the data of what people are watching on streaming. We know they're watching them, but they won't make them.

Speaker 23 They only want to make giant, expensive stuff.

Speaker 1 It's a genuine, like it's an actual mania. Like, there's nothing inherent to streaming.
Like,

Speaker 1 Happy Gilmore 2 is out. And I haven't seen Happy Gilmore 2.
I'm sure it's not good, but I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's great. I should be less pessimistic.
But it's like, oh, wow, they made Happy Gilmore 2. That makes sense.
Everybody loved Happy Gilmore.

Speaker 1 Think about about a world before Happy Gilmore.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I'm with you. I think there was a world without Happy Gilmore.

Speaker 1 And someone said, I think there can be a world with Happy Gilmore in it. Like the 90s was an era of boat and cocaine shows and boat and cocaine movies.

Speaker 1 There are multiple movies where witches cast spells on Jim Carrey and it's like you can no longer do lies.

Speaker 1 You now have to say, yes,

Speaker 1 there's a mask on your face, can't get it off.

Speaker 1 Billions, billions.

Speaker 1 Ash, I understand you're writing Ma too?

Speaker 2 Yes. Nice.
Yes, I am.

Speaker 1 That's cool.

Speaker 1 I think we have a picture of Ma.

Speaker 2 Ma?

Speaker 2 Ma Ma.

Speaker 1 Is that what it's called, Ma Ma?

Speaker 23 A lot of great names were suggested on the internet, and I'm going to have to comb through them.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're not calling it ma ma. No, not yet.
That's too bad. We'll see.

Speaker 1 I thought of a good name for Ratatouille 2 for Patton, which is Ratatouille.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I thought of an even better name for the sequel of Ratatouille 2.

Speaker 1 Ratatouille 3.

Speaker 1 Why'd I do this with Patton on here?

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 23 Then Ratatouille 4, Tokyo Drift.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Three rats and a little lady.

Speaker 1 A rat could never make sushi.

Speaker 1 Speaking of free speech,

Speaker 2 sure.

Speaker 1 Sure. We all have things we wish we could say, but dare not speak aloud.
Like how Paramount and Skydance have all kinds of things they can't say anymore. Yep.
You know, like them.

Speaker 1 Ashley used to host an advice podcast called Sip on This. Alice, you're funny.

Speaker 11 I have podcast as well.

Speaker 1 And you do about Star Trek. I've been on it.
Yeah. Treks in the City.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 1 We watch episodes that talk about them. We do.

Speaker 1 Tonight, we invite you in attendance to share something you want to tell your coworker, your spouse, your neighbor,

Speaker 1 your co-conspirator. And we'll weigh in whether or not you should speak your truth or sense yourself.
Okay?

Speaker 1 So if you have something you're not sure whether or not you should speak the truth about raise your hand and we'll take a couple and see what we think in a segment called

Speaker 1 first amendment second thoughts

Speaker 2 well

Speaker 2 thank you for using a good picture that look amazing

Speaker 26 that's cool hi hi what do you want to tell somebody So my former director, I just got a new director, and he brags about how great the team is, and they're not.

Speaker 26 And my old director has a team that is great, and she doesn't brag about them. So I'm wondering if I should tell her she needs to be more confident and talk up her team, or just keep my head down.

Speaker 23 That's not the question I thought you were going to say.

Speaker 2 I don't either think that.

Speaker 11 I thought you were going to say, should I tell this new guy? You know, you don't need to say it if it's true.

Speaker 1 Why wouldn't you?

Speaker 26 Because she kind of has a history of like, if you piss her off, she goes for you.

Speaker 1 And what kind of director? Like of

Speaker 1 film?

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 1 director of like business stuff. business director

Speaker 2 of business stuff.

Speaker 23 Yeah, no, so we're talking about a lean in queen here. Yeah, I got it.

Speaker 23 Um, I'm gonna just spoiler alert. I'm always team say it.
That's why I single.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 26 you know what?

Speaker 2 I'm the same way.

Speaker 23 So I was going, I would say you should tell her because we should always tell women to big up themselves.

Speaker 23 Like, I think that every woman should be bragging on herself 300 times more than she is just like has a blanket it's just true like I before I did this I was getting a PhD at Northwestern and I would get into cabs and every single time I got in a cab and the cab driver be like what do you do and I'd be like oh I'm a PhD candidate in Northwestern every single time they'd go I could do that

Speaker 19 I was doing it and I didn't think I could do it.

Speaker 2 I was in a cold sweat every day for four years.

Speaker 23 So in general, I'm like, every woman should be telling every other woman, like, bitch, talk your shit. However, you said she's not nice to you, so she can figure her shit out.

Speaker 23 I'm not team business lady. But I do think you should tell the boss who does brag that his team sucks.
I think we should be telling people they suck more.

Speaker 2 If there's nothing

Speaker 23 worse than watching someone walk around thinking they're good at something, and we are all doing a disservice to them, this is not an opportunity to raise your hands and tell me what I'm bad at.

Speaker 2 You should tell them.

Speaker 23 But I think it sucks at work that everyone will look around and make eyes at each other and snicker and laugh, and no one,

Speaker 23 hopefully their boss, will just say, Hey, maybe you could try this.

Speaker 11 Like, I think we should tell people when they're bad. But it might be hard for her at work if she says something like that.
Oh, it will be. Might be.
Maybe.

Speaker 11 I was thinking

Speaker 11 for this specific thing,

Speaker 11 maybe you could, I could tell them.

Speaker 11 I'm free right now. My show got canceled, and I

Speaker 11 it's like a singing telegram type thing. Okay.

Speaker 11 First one's free.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 That was good advice. Let's see if we got a question over here.

Speaker 1 What's the truth you dare not speak?

Speaker 27 All right. So I'm in a community that's a whole bunch of queer women and a few token straight women, one of whom repeatedly refers to her friend as her girlfriend.

Speaker 27 Do I just let it lie, or do I say something like, Girl, what are you doing in this face talking like that?

Speaker 23 Can I ask a follow-up? Yeah. Is the girl who's saying girlfriend black?

Speaker 19 No.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's a white lady. That changes.
It's a straight white lady.

Speaker 1 I'm just, I want to live in a world where this was a question about you saying, Can I tell a black woman to stop saying girlfriend?

Speaker 2 Oh my God, no.

Speaker 2 That's why I had to check.

Speaker 1 I mean, it would have been awesome. God, what a moment that would have been.

Speaker 27 I'm not an asshole, I swear.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what, my honest reaction is:

Speaker 2 nobody's hard.

Speaker 1 People say girlfriend. What do you gotta do? The word police now? That's our word.
Girlfriend. We took it back from who?

Speaker 11 Because it's confusing, I think, for people.

Speaker 11 The space. So, like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 1 Is it a big problem if people think she's fucking that girlfriend? Is she? What if she is? What if she's not? Maybe she is. So there you go.
There you go.

Speaker 27 Answer.

Speaker 21 Problem solved.

Speaker 23 I think the problem is just that there aren't enough words because it is once you pass 35, girlfriend is tough. Like, that's your woman friend.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 23 I do call my friends my girlfriend.

Speaker 23 And I think we need, we just need more words. We need words for adults who are dating.
We need words for adults who are going to date forever and never get married.

Speaker 23 Like, we just need a lot more words.

Speaker 11 Blue sky pitch, friend.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 11 I don't know. Maybe it might work.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 19 Is that crazy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we do need more words. Boyfriend, girlfriend, partner.
That stinks.

Speaker 11 I call my partner my sweetie.

Speaker 23 That's cute.

Speaker 1 Yuck.

Speaker 2 All right, let's do one more.

Speaker 28 So my girlfriend,

Speaker 28 her ex of six years has been in town and the musician he or artist he was playing for asked if he could stay at our home and I we both were kindly said yes and prepared the space for him and he didn't show up

Speaker 28 and I really just want to confront him and say you're a pussy

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 11 okay so I know this person

Speaker 11 so actually and this is I can't say to your boss, but I can tell that guy.

Speaker 11 And I heard about this from my sweetie

Speaker 11 So this is this is my sister-in-law's girlfriend talking now and I know this ex

Speaker 11 and I get to tell him Okay

Speaker 11 I get to tell him that was fucked up. I've been waiting for something to tell I've been waiting for something to come up where I get nail this guy and this is it

Speaker 11 happy ending

Speaker 23 I have to disagree.

Speaker 23 I think you thank this man.

Speaker 23 There's nothing someone can do better for you than not show up again that's true that's a good point i do agree you had a reason to clean your house the house is clean go home put your feet up uh watch leanne enjoy it thank you sir for not being in my house i would like to thank all of you for not being in my house

Speaker 2 yeah wow

Speaker 1 i never thought of it that way

Speaker 1 having a house guest is right One fewer house guests is just having no one on earth in your home.

Speaker 1 Interesting. A lot to think about.
All right. Thanks, everybody, for your advice, questions.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Ashley and Alice.

Speaker 1 Ashley's also writing on Shrinking. I am.

Speaker 1 And you can check out the final season of Resident Alien airing now on Syfy USA and, of course, Peacock.

Speaker 1 When we're back, time for the rant wheel.

Speaker 19 Hey, don't go anywhere.

Speaker 20 There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

Speaker 1 Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Prolon.

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Speaker 1 And we're back.

Speaker 1 Before we get to the ramble, we have some news to share. Crooked Media and Vote Save America are hosting our first ever Crooked Con.

Speaker 1 Crooked Con.

Speaker 23 It's cool.

Speaker 1 It's a chance to join America's smartest organizers and least annoying politicians to strategize, debate, commiserate about where we go from here, which is hopefully up.

Speaker 1 We will be in Washington, D.C., November 6th and 7th, and it's going to be great, starting with a Pod Save America show live at the Warners Theater on November 6th.

Speaker 1 Then on Friday, November 7th, we'll be at the Wharf, joined by some of the most influential names in politics for a day of conversations, workshops, live pods, as we all figure out how to build the big pro-democracy movement we need to defeat rising authoritarianism before or maybe after it's too late.

Speaker 1 We have talked about doing CrookedCon for a very long time. We're finally doing it.
Very proud of the team that's been putting together what is going to be an amazing event.

Speaker 1 We have some very exciting people that we'll be announcing soon who are participating. It's taken a lot to get to the point where Crooked is able to put together something like this.

Speaker 1 We've always said we believe we need to help build a coalition that runs from the anti-Trump, pro-democracy, center-right, all the way to the far left.

Speaker 1 The most important thing we can do is remember that even when we disagree and even when we don't even see each other,

Speaker 1 always in the best light that we are ultimately on the same team.

Speaker 1 And that starts by coming together and starting to talk through some of the ways we have to rebuild a progressive movement that can take on Trump and defeat MAGA and help give people an image and an idea of something better.

Speaker 1 And so we're excited that, look,

Speaker 1 we said

Speaker 1 right from the very beginning that we started Crooked because we didn't think we had all the answers and nobody did, but we wanted to build a place where people could come and bring what they knew and that nobody would have all the solutions, but we'd figured out together.

Speaker 1 And so CrookedCon is sort of an evolution of that. So go to crookedcon.com for tickets.
CrookedCon.com. We have a discount code that you can use to buy your November 7th ticket early.

Speaker 1 It's freedom and content.

Speaker 1 Freedom and content, because the slogan of our conference is freedom and content for all.

Speaker 1 Freedom and content.

Speaker 1 Discounted tickets are limited. CrookedCon.com.
Thank you. Okay.
Crooked Con!

Speaker 23 That sounds so cool.

Speaker 2 CricketCon.

Speaker 23 And I'm also picturing there's like all these incredible pro-democracy things.

Speaker 23 And then there's like one old-timey crook with the like mask on at a little table being like, oh no, I should have googled it.

Speaker 11 I'm gonna cosplay as Tommy nice I'm gonna go cosplay as Tommy that's so sweet

Speaker 1 yeah we got the hamburgler doing a panel with Andy Bashir

Speaker 1 please welcome back this age Patton Oswald and Peppermint

Speaker 1 Peppermint you can go here

Speaker 1 I'll slide over. Patton, welcome back.

Speaker 5 Thank you for having me back.

Speaker 1 So the sequel to Ratatouille Ratatouille would be called Ratatouille.

Speaker 5 I was thinking too rat tooey.

Speaker 1 And then the third one is Ratatouille 3.

Speaker 2 Huh.

Speaker 11 Ratatoul3.

Speaker 1 Ratatou3.

Speaker 1 Ratatou3.

Speaker 5 Hey, I'm up for any sequels they want to do.

Speaker 2 I cannot be happier.

Speaker 5 I don't know if you know what's been going on in Showbiz, but I'm,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 I will do a,

Speaker 5 I'll do a, oh God, my riff gun just jammed. I was trying to combine two other things that I did, and it absolutely did not work.

Speaker 2 Riff gun.

Speaker 5 You were trying to give me some riff energy?

Speaker 11 No, I'm giving off riff jam.

Speaker 5 Oh, you're

Speaker 11 oh, my God. Getting that.

Speaker 5 You and your damn riff jams.

Speaker 2 Wetterlund?

Speaker 5 That's a great name for like a police commissioner to scream at a cop.

Speaker 2 Wetterlund! Get in here!

Speaker 11 I'm going to pitch that next week. There you go.

Speaker 5 Wetterlund with an exclamation point.

Speaker 17 I want some riff jam.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Go to the family show, please.

Speaker 2 Drat!

Speaker 17 Hey, I'm a married woman. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We all saw the trades.

Speaker 1 When you have a lineup this good,

Speaker 1 you don't need much. So we're getting back to basics of closing out the show with our beloved rant wheel.

Speaker 1 We'll spin the wheel and wherever it lands. We'll each share a rant about one thing bothering us.
Now to the wheel.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Get it. It is landing on Patton.

Speaker 1 What's something you'd like to rant about?

Speaker 5 What would I like to rant about? Well,

Speaker 5 I would like to rant about how

Speaker 5 Instagram has become a way for my wife to win arguments with me half an hour after we have them.

Speaker 5 When when I, we like, we'll argue about some minor domestic thing. Sweetie, could you not leave the sponge in the sink, put it in the drying rack because it will grow fungus and bacteria.

Speaker 5 And I say, well, every time I use the sponge, I put hot water and soap on it to wash the dishes. I don't think it matters.
It kills anything on it.

Speaker 5 And then half an hour later, I get some Instagram video sent to me, some weird, wiry hippie, and it's like 9,000 edits. Here's the nine reasons your sponge will be killing you.

Speaker 1 I fucking know that guy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there is

Speaker 5 any argument you lose, there is an overproduced video that will take your side that you can send to people. And we're losing our ability to close arguments.

Speaker 5 You know, there is a concerned mom or someone sitting in a car going,

Speaker 2 here's the four reasons why you should be able to eat crackers in bed.

Speaker 5 Like, there's no.

Speaker 1 I fucking hate that dishwasher guy. Yeah.
He's like, are you using your dishwasher? Are you cleaning it every three days? No, you're gonna die.

Speaker 2 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everybody knows that according to the instructions of your dishwasher, you can't use it. Yeah.
It has to remain untouched. There's no safe.
A dishwasher can never be safely used.

Speaker 5 And they've also, they've all learned the algorithm like they've got to grab you in three seconds. So like an apple a day keeps a doctor the way.
I don't think so.

Speaker 5 Like, they just want you to stop swiping. So that's bothering me.

Speaker 1 I agree. Thank you for sharing that.

Speaker 2 That's horrible.

Speaker 1 I hate that dishwasher guy.

Speaker 1 It's like, your plates are covered in the soap forever. Are you using soap in your dishwasher?

Speaker 2 You fool.

Speaker 1 What? You can only use one kind of soap, and it's only on the Costco, but you got to go very high up.

Speaker 1 It's not where you can see it. It's up.

Speaker 2 Bring climate here.

Speaker 23 The longer it takes me, the funnier it will be when you get into a fight with your wife and what she sends you is a video I have personally made telling her you're wrong.

Speaker 23 I'm going to bide my time. I'm going to wait till you've forgotten that this happened.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 5 Look, if I wanted to, I could start gaslighting her and sending her videos of people going, here's the five signs of early onset dementia. And then she'd be like, Why did you send me this?

Speaker 5 I'm like, Half an hour ago, you told me that

Speaker 5 you don't remember this? We got this whole argument.

Speaker 5 Look at number three on the list. This is the thing he was talking about.

Speaker 5 I'm just saying, if I wanted to,

Speaker 2 but I wouldn't. But he wouldn't.

Speaker 1 Really turning the tables. Let's spin it again.

Speaker 2 Alice, what do you got?

Speaker 11 Okay, so I was at the gym a while ago, and I go all the time. Well, I go all the time.
I go all the time.

Speaker 1 Likely story, okay.

Speaker 11 I lift, and I was at the gym, and do you guys know what ovulation is?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Ovulating is. No, I have an Instagram video I can show you.
Hang on.

Speaker 11 Could you send it?

Speaker 11 So you, yeah.

Speaker 11 Okay, so I was at the gym. I was ovulating.
This is important to the story. And there was a guy

Speaker 11 working out next to me. He was wearing Birkenstocks and fuzzy socks.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 11 those people with, he's like a ginger, you know.

Speaker 11 And those people who ovulate will know that my next thought when I saw this guy, I thought immediately like, who is this fucking Ron Weasley

Speaker 11 motherfucker?

Speaker 11 lifting way less than me

Speaker 11 and what is he doing later?

Speaker 11 Because that is the secret of ovulation. Ovulation is a time of month when people who have uteruses will just, whatever's next to us, it's good and we'll fuck it.
And it's a good thing.

Speaker 11 It's evolution's thing.

Speaker 17 Gosh, I must have a uterus.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 11 You might. You might.

Speaker 11 It's just, it happens. And so when I started comedy back in New York, the year that that I started it,

Speaker 11 I was in, there was like this stigma about women telling period jokes. It was like girls are just going to tell period jokes.

Speaker 11 And it was so stigmatized that none of the women that I did came up with did period jokes. We like eliminated the idea of period jokes entirely.

Speaker 11 And because we didn't get to do our period material, we didn't get to get to our ovulation material.

Speaker 11 And because we didn't do that, a bunch of comics from New York in about two thousand the year that it was

Speaker 5 didn't get laid

Speaker 11 because they didn't know the secret was to just stand there. It's a numbers game, you just hang out next to someone for as long as it takes, and eventually, yeah, that'll work.

Speaker 11 And so they didn't get laid, and then they started doing material about how women are shitty or whatever, because they won't have sex with them. And then they all started podcasts.

Speaker 11 Cut to male loneliness epidemic, cut to Trump.

Speaker 23 So, we,

Speaker 11 if we want to have nice things in our society, we need to deal with our misogyny problem, right?

Speaker 11 And if we're going to deal with our misogyny problem, we're going to need male podcast hosts to talk about it a lot more than they're doing. Straight male podcast hosts, you're in the clear.

Speaker 11 You're doing the Lord's work over here, okay?

Speaker 1 Thank you. I do.
We try, you know, we try. I appreciate that.

Speaker 11 Because men listen to other men. That's who they listen to.
And so do women, right?

Speaker 11 So the men who are doing the podcast, because now we're being told we have to welcome Andrew Schultz into the movement We have to welcome them in we're gonna welcome him into the movement the movement that is run by women who those guys dehumanize right so see how that doesn't really make ten tunnel

Speaker 11 So if we're gonna make space for them in the movement I need the male podcast host to remember that they need to make sure they're not just rubber stamping rape culture, right?

Speaker 11 And make sure there's a space for us first and foremost. And how do they do that?

Speaker 11 They talk about, now, I had, it was ovulated, I had had a sex dream about Tommy, so he's in the clear for at least a month. Everybody else, I'm watching you, Pfeiffer.
I'm watching you, Pharaoh.

Speaker 1 I didn't think that was really aimed at them.

Speaker 1 A lot to think about.

Speaker 5 So glad I went first.

Speaker 1 I just can't believe we both had sex dreams about Tommy on the same night.

Speaker 23 Let's

Speaker 2 again.

Speaker 1 Peppermint, what would you like to rant about?

Speaker 17 Well, you both took my.

Speaker 2 Stupid people.

Speaker 17 I mean, not just like unintelligent people. I mean, like, we are in the middle of all of this that we're dealing with, an epistemicide,

Speaker 17 the killing of actual knowledge. For some reason, we don't listen to experts anymore on anything.

Speaker 17 And I just, I didn't think I'd wake up after

Speaker 17 waking up and going back to sleep and then trying to wake up again and then realize that Trump is actually the president. That we would be in a world where someone like, you know, RFK is in charge of

Speaker 17 Department of Health and Human Services and Linda McMahon is running the Department of Education that they're trying to cancel anyway.

Speaker 17 And now we get people like, you know, children's book authors telling us what trans people should be able to do with our bodies from across an ocean.

Speaker 17 Yes, louder boo.

Speaker 17 Exactly.

Speaker 17 Fuck Harry Potter.

Speaker 17 And yeah, so that pisses me off that we're in a world that this is what we have to do.

Speaker 17 I hope that we can get back to listening to doctors and healthcare professionals professionals about what is good for people's bodies.

Speaker 17 Trans people, women, femmes, people who can have children, people who can get pregnant, and people who ovulate about our own bodies rather than, you know, wrestling moms.

Speaker 17 That's it. I agree with them.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It would be good to start listening to the doctors again. Remember when everyone was like, ah, Fauci, he's good.
And they're like, nope, some of us have decided he's not. let's spin it again

Speaker 23 Ashley what do you got happy to be here today uh I needed to get this off my chest nothing works anymore nothing works

Speaker 23 okay You know how you like, you go to a website to buy something and then there's like a little box and it's like, do you want us to send you more emails?

Speaker 23 And you unclick the box and then you know what they do? They send you a fucking email because the box doesn't work.

Speaker 23 When was the last time you tried to make an appointment for something? You go on the website, the website doesn't work. You call, a robot answers the phone, the robot can make your appointment.

Speaker 23 No, it can't. It doesn't work.

Speaker 23 So then you finally get a human being on the phone, and you're like, Why didn't this bitch just answer the phone in the first place? And do you know why?

Speaker 23 Because the only people who think AI is a good idea are people who are too rich to ever have to talk to the robot. Their assistants do it for them.

Speaker 23 So you finally make your appointment. It's a doctor appointment.
They say great news. We now have an AI that'll read your test results, but don't worry, a doctor will read them too.

Speaker 23 Then what is the AI for?

Speaker 23 Just give the money to the doctor so that I don't have to subscribe to the doctor.

Speaker 2 Doctors are subscription services now.

Speaker 23 And I don't know if this is an LA thing, but we are out here subscribing to doctors, y'all.

Speaker 23 We are subscribing to doctors, not

Speaker 17 doctors the experts.

Speaker 23 Yeah, no, I'm happy to pay. I just, it shouldn't be like, oh, I have my Spotify subscription and my subscription to Dr.
Hunt.

Speaker 19 Like, I'm happy to listen to the doctor.

Speaker 23 I just think we should pay per appointment.

Speaker 23 Yes.

Speaker 23 Yes, we are. Like, nothing is working.

Speaker 2 And do you know what the worst part of all of this is?

Speaker 23 I sound so old right now.

Speaker 23 I'm like, gather around, children. Let me tell you of the days when shit used to work.

Speaker 23 And when something was broken, you would call someone and the company would just give you your money back for the broken thing.

Speaker 23 But now nothing works. I sound old and I'm not old.

Speaker 2 I'm hot.

Speaker 1 Such an important point.

Speaker 1 Such an important point.

Speaker 1 It's when you, you know,

Speaker 1 when you try to read the news, everyone's like, oh, nobody's reading the news anymore. What's up with these kids not reading the news?

Speaker 1 If you try to read the news on your phone, you click on a website, it's fucking insane. It's, it's, it's, there's like, you're like, kind of like, it's like your phone.

Speaker 11 It's like binoculars.

Speaker 23 You can see three words at a time.

Speaker 1 And you like slide it. It's like, and, and, you kind of like, and then like an ad pops up and then like, you kind of scroll halfway down and then all of a sudden you bounce back up.

Speaker 1 You're all the way back up at the top.

Speaker 11 God, I thought it was just me.

Speaker 23 And do you remember back in the day when I was young, when those ads would pop up, there was a little X that you could click. There's no more fucking X anymore.

Speaker 2 No, there were separate windows.

Speaker 1 It was a separate window. Oh, yeah.
Oh, and then it's like, there's like 17 X's, all of which sign you up. Except for,

Speaker 1 except for, just you gotta like, it's like, it's like the, it's like there's a whisper of an X.

Speaker 11 And if you do sign up, then you have to log in.

Speaker 2 You always lose it.

Speaker 11 And if you log in, then your password from last time isn't working. And you're like, oh, good thing I'm safe with this two-factor authentication for this news.biz website.

Speaker 17 No, girl, they don't even do that anymore because now when you leave something in your cart, you get an email saying you put something in your cart. And I have because I'm a shopaholic.

Speaker 17 However, there have been times where I was like, I ain't buying that. I'm not putting it in the cart.
And they email you saying that it was in the cart anyway. And they trick you into getting it.

Speaker 2 And I don't have a password.

Speaker 1 I feel like we drifted into something that's more like your problem.

Speaker 1 Let's spin it again.

Speaker 1 All right, it's landed on me. I have just two quick things I need to say.

Speaker 1 One is about a video game that I think probably should be stopped by the government, and the other is about Gwyneth Paltrow.

Speaker 1 First,

Speaker 1 the video game that should be stopped by the government is called Bellatro. I'm sorry to even say it out loud because don't do it.

Speaker 22 Don't play it.

Speaker 1 Stop it.

Speaker 1 It's not great. It sucks you into its fucking vortex.
It is like a drug. It is whatever Solitaire was.
Solitaire was a strong coffee to what Bellatro is to crack.

Speaker 1 This game should not be legal. You open it, you think, I'm going to play for two minutes before I go to bed.
Suddenly, the sun is out.

Speaker 2 Fuck that.

Speaker 2 Fuck that.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, it's great. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Not going to spell it.

Speaker 2 This is not pro-Bilatro.

Speaker 1 Second point point I want to make.

Speaker 1 I want to apologize to Gwyneth Paltrow.

Speaker 1 I was obviously deeply on her side during the whole ski thing. But I'll be on, I was and remained.
But I will be honest, I did turn my nose up when anything goop came up.

Speaker 1 It was like, oh, goop this, goop that. There are a bunch of little goop restaurants that have opened up around Los Angeles, and I thought, I'm not going to order from goop.
That couldn't be for me.

Speaker 1 That witch is doing amazing things with salads.

Speaker 2 Those salads are...

Speaker 1 I don't understand what they're doing with those salads.

Speaker 23 Try the pizza.

Speaker 1 And that's our show.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much to Patton Oswald, Ashley Nicole Black, Alice Rutter, and Peppermint. We'll see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter.
There are 458 days till the big terms. Have a great night.

Speaker 17 Have a a great weekend.

Speaker 1 If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, TikTok, and all the other ones for original content, community events, and more.

Speaker 1 You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube-exclusive content.

Speaker 1 And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review.

Speaker 1 Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free Love It or Leave It and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber-exclusive pods, and more.

Speaker 1 Sign up at crooked.com/slash friends. Love it or Leave It is a crooked media production.
It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.

Speaker 1 Bill McGrath is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer.
Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, and Will Miles are our writers.

Speaker 1 Jordan Cantor is our editor. Kyle Segmund and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.
Stephen Cologne is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Schersher.

Speaker 1 Thanks to our designer, Sammy Koderna-Rees, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast.

Speaker 1 And thanks to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kalman, Delan Villanueva, and Rachel Gaeski for filming and editing video each week.

Speaker 1 Our head of production is Matt DeGroote, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.

Speaker 29 My uncontrollable movements called TD, tartive dyskinesia, felt embarrassing. I felt like disconnecting.

Speaker 29 I asked my doctor about treating my TD and learned about Ingreza, a prescription medicine clinically proven for reducing TD in adults. That's always one capsule, once daily, and number one prescribed.

Speaker 29 People taking Ingrezza can stay on most mental health meds.

Speaker 9 Ingreza can cause depression, suicidal thoughts, or actions in patients with Huntington's disease. Call your doctor if you become depressed, have sudden behavior or mood changes, or suicidal thoughts.

Speaker 9 Don't take Ingreza if allergic.

Speaker 9 Serious side effects may include allergic reactions like sudden, potentially fatal swelling and highs, sleepiness, the most common side effect, and heart rhythm problems.

Speaker 9 Know how Ingreza affects you before operating a car or dangerous machinery. Report fever, stiff muscles, or problems thinking as these might be life-threatening.

Speaker 9 Shaking, stiffness, drooling, and trouble with moving or balance may occur.

Speaker 29 Take control by asking your doctor about Ingreza.

Speaker 9 Learn more at ingreza.com. That's ingreza.com.

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