Make Phones, Not War

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What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to

Love It or Leave It live at Dynasty Typewriter. Thank you all for being here.
We have got a great

show for you. Larry Charles is here.

He's got million dollar stories. We've got some $10 jokes.
Then Chinadu Inaka and Adam Lustak joined to test out their news knowledge. And then we wrap it all up with our latest and greatest rants.
But first, let's get into it. What a week.
As a terrifying rampage was unfolding in Minnesota and before the suspect had been caught, Republican senator and shitposter Mike Lee from Utah ran to X to blame the left for the violence. Wrote Lee in one tweet with a photo of the suspect, this is what happens when Marxists don't get their way.
So, so close.

New York City Mayor Andrew Cuomo is what happens when Marxists don't get their way.

In reality, the suspect is a religious conservative who attended Trump rallies and whose other targets appear to include dozens of prominent Democrats and abortion rights advocates.

And since he remains in custody, I'll add this.

Not much of a dresser. Got him.
An hour after that first tweet by a sitting U.S. Senator, Lee returned to seemingly blame or mock Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, writing over an image of the assassin, Nightmare on Walt Street.
Not the biggest problem with this post, but it's Nightmare on Elm Street. The term is Wall Street.
He could have said Wolf of Walt Street, right? Wolf of Wall Street. That would have been, I mean, it was a little bit incomprehensible and vile at the same time.
Like the intent, not clear, but obviously disgusting, but too many steps, just terrible structure. But some people can post, some people can't.
I'm sure Mike Lee has many other talents like ruining the vibe when his wife's friends are over. The post prompted outrage and calls for Lee's resignation.
And on Monday, Minnesota Senator Tina Smith confronted Lee directly. I wanted him to know about the consequence of his words.
And I went to him and I said, you know, your message on social media showed the image of the man who killed my friend. Potentially minutes before that happened.
And your message, this is what happens. You need to take responsibility and accountability for what you are saying and doing out there in the social media world.
Fuck them up, Tina. And Tina had support.
She was playing good cop Klobuchar cop. Because then Mike Lee had to face the final boss,

which is looking Senator Amy Klobuchar in the eyes. After that second conversation,

Lee deleted the post. Mike Lee was later spotted at a local church basement in DC,

attending a weekly meeting of SODAC, survivors of disappointing Amy Klobuchar.

People come, they tell their stories, they feel connected to a community. I didn't have a fork.
I didn't have a fork. It's okay.
Days before nuclear talks were set to resume in Oman, Israel launched an attack against Iran's nuclear facilities and leadership, setting off an escalating conflict in the region. Now we must hope for cooler heads to prevail over, it says here, Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Ayatollah Khomeini.
So not great. On Tuesday, Trump declared on True Social that we now have complete and total control over the skies of Iran and called for Iran's unconditional surrender.

No.

That sucks.

Stop it.

We also learned that Trump was preparing for strikes against Iran, which the Pentagon described as defensive and which may also be a threat to pressure Iran to make concessions.

So hopefully it's the kind of preparation that ultimately proves unnecessary, like bringing an umbrella on a hike or writing a segment for the drag queen you've booked. Very specific joke.
Kills amongst the producers of Love It or Leave It. The possibility that Trump might drag the U.S.
into Israel's war with Iran has opened up a massive rift among conservatives.

In fact, here's Tucker Carlson opening up a massive rift in Ted Cruz.

How many people live in Iran, by the way?

I don't know the population.

At all?

No, I don't know the population.

You don't know the population of the country you seek to topple?

How many people live in Iran?

92 million.

Okay. Yeah.
How could you not know that? Ted Cruz, so ignorant, not like us. Everybody in this room knows the population of Iran.
Can't prove we didn't. It's like that.
He can't. We all knew it.
Fucking idiot. It's like that moment when Godzilla stops killing an entire metropolis full of people to turn his sights on killing another bigger, dumber beast.
And it's like, go Godzilla, I guess. But it's nice to see Tucker Carlson take a break from sticking a feather in his cap and calling it macaroni.

I don't know what that really means.

I don't know what a Yankee doodle dandy is,

but I'm pretty sure Tucker Carl's in a Yankee doodle dandy.

The pair also sparred over Cruz's relationship with AIPAC,

the pro-Israel lobbying group.

AIPAC, I wish were much more effective. Like, there are folks online who are in the fever swamp of terrified of AIPAC.
And AIPAC... I'm not terrified of AIPAC at all.
You're the one who seems a little uncomfortable when I'm asking. No, not uncomfortable at all.
I'm just asking. Just kiss already.
That exchange about AIPAC led to this heated moment. You're not talking about Chinese.
You're not talking about Japanese. You're not talking about the Brits.

You're not talking about the French.

The question, what about the Jews?

What about the Jews? Oh, I'm an anti-Semite now. It's interesting you're trying to derail my questions by calling me an anti-Semite, which you are.
I did not. Of course you are.
And rather than be honorable enough to say it right to my face, you are in a sleazy, feline way implying it. He wants to call him a bitch.
It has the same energy of the moment when Hercule Perrault says, Aha! Poison! A woman's weapon! You know what I'm saying? Uh, Tucker Carlson isn't the only Trump supporter feeling betrayed. Podcaster Dave Smith had this to say about Trump's approach to Iran.
I supported him, uh, this last year. I apologize for doing so.
It was a bad calculation at the time. It seemed like the right one.
Donald Trump should be impeached and removed for this. All of his supporters should turn on him.
It's the absolute betrayal of everything that he ran and campaigned on and everything that he stood for. Sure.
But the most important thing that Donald Trump stands for is that he doesn't stand for anything. The 2024 election was like that riddle about the two doors.
In front of one door was someone who always lies. And then in the other door, it was blocked by an incomprehensible old man yelling about NATO.
Theo Vaughn, who hosted Trump on his podcast last year and attended his inauguration, also spoke out against war with Iran. I don't trust the.
Israel leader at all. I don't believe anything that guy says.
And I, I don't think that our soldiers should have to go and defend stuff that they start. Sadly, the clip ends there because Theo Von's pager.
This guy, he went to dinner with Ivanka and Jared a month ago. I love the idea of Theo Vaughn calling Ivanka with his concerns.
And she's like, oh, sorry, Theo. How do I put this? Jared and I aren't human in the way you're thinking about it.
On Wednesday, Trump said this when asked whether the U.S. was moving closer to a strike against Iran.
You don't know. I may do it.
I may not do it. I mean, nobody knows what I'm going to do.
It's helpful at a moment like this to accept the block theory of the universe in which the present is an illusion and the future is just as determined as the past. Will we go to war with Iran? If we will, we already have.
And if we don't, we never would. You know about the block theory? No? Okay.
This idea is time is just a dimension. We just have the illusion that we're moving through it, but really it's all fully determined that time is just another dimension, just one we can't perceive.

And in a sense, what's interesting, it's not that what we're doing right now is standing still.

It's that we're moving through time at the speed of light.

And in a sense, all of us are always moving at the speed of light.

It's interesting to think about.

Not funny, though. Make a note of that.
I have to say, Trump's saying this. It's one of the few times where he's not bullshitting.
Nobody ever knows what he's going to do. Remember when Trump reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of Starbursts and then threw them at German Chancellor Angela Merkel? Like there's unpredictable.
And then there's whatever the fuck that was. Speaking of not knowing what Trump is going to do hour to hour, last week, the Trump administration abruptly directed ICE to pause immigration raids at farms, hotels and restaurants.
Our farmers are being hurt badly by, you know, they have very good workers. They've worked for them for 20 years.
They're not citizens, but they've turned out to be, you know, great. And we're going to have to do something about that.
We can't take farmers and take all their people and send them back because they don't have maybe what they're supposed to have. We've got to find the person who's doing this.
But of course, Trump immediately reversed himself once Stephen Miller and fucking Christine Oum got to him, with ICE officials telling staff on Monday that agents must continue conducting raids at farms, hotels, and restaurants. This is what I would call the dating in your early 20s strategy of governing.
Talk through it logically with people you trust, have the breakthrough revelation, and then make the exact wrong decision three days later. The president reportedly did have this about face.
What happened was he had been contacted directly by Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins, who bypassed Miller and Noem to kind of relay what she was hearing from these kind of big agricultural companies, I suppose. And then, of course, Trump just says the last thing he fucking heard.
And then Stephen Miller, I guess, gets back on the fucking yoke. And now we're back to where we were.
Speaking of, on Monday, Stephen Miller busted out multiple over-the-top tweets about sanctuary cities, including this one. Sanctuary cities are engaged in a criminal conspiracy to obstruct, defy, and dismantle the federal laws of the United States in order to end the sovereignty of the United States.
This is the crisis at hand. And I, for one, would just like to say, Jonathan, Jonathan Lovett.
Yeah. Yes.
You left your spoon in the sink again. Okay, guys, I just need to tell you all something.
I did turn my guest house into an Airbnb and it was rented by Stephen Miller. And I didn't want you to know.
I tried to cancel. I really hope that nobody would find out.
Well, these people have found out, Jonathan. Your secret's out.
All right? I posted a tweet about your spoon calumny and I just wanted to make sure that you saw it. That all of you saw it.
Well, you you know what I actually haven't because I'm kind of in the middle of something Well we're all in the middle of something Jonathan I'm in the middle of transitioning fully into Nosferatu Oh I see it I just want you to whatever however you identify Okay thank you thank you for this Take that disgusting implement Lucky for you I printed out the tweet Oh wow And I brought it with me is my tweet. Me, Stephen Miller.
The unchecked decay in that sink is not merely an oversight. It represents moral collapse.
A civilization cannot endure when basic duties are flouted with impunity by remorseless contributors to filth, decadence, and disorder. Jonathan.
Is that it?

Yeah, that's it. All right, thanks, Stephen.
I guess there's nothing to do about the fact that you're here, so I'll just kind of put up with it. Okay.
And I should also mention that your towels have quite a mustiness. All right, get out of here.
Not nearly musty enough for my liking. Fucking Stephen Miller.
Boo! Hope that doesn't happen two more times. On Tuesday, during an Armed Services Committee hearing, Secretary of Not Understanding that the movie Starship Troopers is a parody, Pete Hegseth, went toe-to-toe with Elizabeth Warren over deploying troops in U.S.
cities. If the Supreme Court orders you to remove troops from American cities, will you do so? As I've said, Senator, I don't believe district courts should determine national security policy, but if the Supreme Court rules on a topic, we will abide by that.
Obeying the rule of law. I'll drink to that.
Hegseth continued to be grilled by Congress this week over his leaked war chat and the ongoing reports of mismanagement and chaos within the Pentagon. Here's Senator Tammy Duckworth raking him over the coals.
You are blowing through money like my fellow cadets and I did in our first liberty after basic camp. Luckily, I didn't end up with a questionable tattoo.
Only an awesome tattoo, continued Duckworth. Check this out, she said, before pulling up her sleeve to reveal two Tasmanian devils kissing.

Fucking awesome.

And this wasn't even the best Duckworth moment.

She pressed Hegseth on using the military not just for defense purposes,

but for supporting the Homeland Security Department's immigration crackdown.

And if you want to be the DHS secretary,

maybe you can apply for that job when you're fired from this one due to your incompetence. Over my dog's dead body, said DHS Secretary Kristi Noem.
Hawaii Senator Mazie Hirono had this helpful observation. If ordered by the president, I'm going to ask you once again, to shoot peaceful protesters in the legs, would you carry out such an order from the president? Senator, as I've said before, of course I reject the premise of your question and the characterization that I would be given or are given on lawful orders.
It's all meant to attempt to smear the commander in chief and I won't fall for it. The president in his first term actually ordered such a thing,

it is not a premise that you can reject.

Oh, you've caught me in a contradiction?

I'm Pete Hegseth.

We're on the brink of war with Iran.

There are U.S. service members on the streets of an American city.

I'm a weekend cable news anchor whose previous management is running not one but two nonprofits into the ground

between marital affairs and displays of public drunkenness.

It is inconceivable that I am in this job, and yet here I am.

And where is the fucking waiter?

Jonathan?

Jonathan.

Oh, no.

Is that a cheer?

Sounds like a cheer to me.

You boo him.

This is Stephen Miller.

Thank you.

I love it.

I love it.

I eat it up with a spoon.

Jonathan, I've returned.

Friends of Jonathan, it's me, Stephen Miller.

I've returned.

Oh, God.

I can't believe this is happening a second time.

That stinks.

It might even happen a third time, Jonathan.

It could potentially happen a third time.

All right.

It could potentially happen a third time.

Now, Jonathan, I want to make you aware of something.

Tonight is indeed trash night.

Oh, shit.

And said trash has not been taken out, Jonathan.

I will do it when I get home. I've heard it before, Jonathan, and it is far too late for those excuses.
I've printed out yet another tweet. Oh, fuck.
The breakdown of observance around civil rituals such as trash night reflect the larger erosion of the American way of life. We are drowning in the garbage of left-wing disunity, the abeyance of basic precepts of fairness, and our blood poisoned by the microplastics of Marxism.
The trash must be taken out. And by trash, I mean both non-white immigrants and also my protein bar wrappers and so on, etc.
Or else all is lost. Steven.
Yes. you gotta get out of here, man.
I thought your rental ended yesterday. Technically, it did, but I extended it for another day.
I wanted to take the TMZ tour. I saw Machine Gun Kelly.
He looks fantastic. God, I fucking hate that guy.
Guys, boo Stephen Miller again. Sucks.
Sucks seeing that guy. Hate having him in my Airbnb.
It's a bummer. On Monday, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr.
announced the launch of a Trump branded phone and cell service company. When I first heard Trump Mobile, I immediately thought, I mean, I guess he is mostly.
Not sure about the ad slogan they landed on. Can you fear me now? I'm sorry.
TrumpMobile.com posted images of the all-gold T1 complete with an American flag. The phone comes with preloaded useful text shortcuts like, meet me at the Capitol and I have a governor in my trunk.
Speaking of bad ideas, in a 6-3 decision on Wednesday,

the Supreme Court upheld Tennessee's ban on gender-affirming care for trans minors,

which is fucking bullshit.

You're already grinding in this dangerous job, coming home day after day,

covered in soot, and now the government is going to say you can't even do it

with a great set of fucking tits?

We support transminers.

These transminers keep our fucking lights on.

Hard job.

Let's see why we're standing in the way of them.

Getting a nice pair of yaya's.

Make them happy.

Grinding out for coal all the time. It sucks.
Going down there, not feeling like themselves. Bullshit.
The ruling assured to embolden Republican state lawmakers to pass similar laws to prevent doctors and parents, along with teens, from making decisions about their own care. Not that they needed emboldening.
Since 2021, 27 states have enacted laws that restrict gender-affirming treatments for trans youth. Great work.
Trans teens will keep existing. You're just going to make our pride parades a little bigger and the staff of your Panera breads a little less cool.
We'll take them. Utah, which passed a ban in 2023, just got back the results from a study commissioned under the same law, which was meant to show that such care was harmful.
Instead, Utah's own study concluded that gender-affirming care for trans youth led to positive mental health outcomes. Now, in response, this is interesting, Utah legislators nodded solemnly and said they learned a valuable lesson.
No more studies. Huge blow.
Huge mistake. But of course, conservatives are ignoring the study.
It's like RFK Jr. ignoring vaccine science.
They don't want to see the truth.

When you've got a warehouse full of Ivermectin, every problem looks like a horse with a parasite. Meanwhile, Republicans last week made a last minute change to Trump's Big Beautiful Bill before passing it in the House.
In the original Big Beautiful Bill in the House, there was a ban on gender-affirming care for youth on Medicaid. but they just struck for minors so that it became a ban on Medicaid covering any transition care period.
That would affect hundreds of thousands of Americans. There's not that many trans fucking people.
There's like 275,000 or so on Medicaid. A lot of the states already have bans or don't provide coverage for gender-affirming care through Medicaid.
So this is really a punitive way to target a small subset of trans people on Medicaid who live in mostly blue states. So that's what they're getting up to.
But that's how this always goes. You say it's aimed at children, but the reality is it's about adults.
That's how we wind up with the vilest shit imaginable, like bans on trans healthcare or whatever the fuck is happening with LaBuboos. Jonathan! No shit.
Jonathan. Yeah, okay.
Jonathan. Fuck, get him.
Let me hear it. Please let me hear it.
I love it. No, I love it.
That's his fucking kink. I like it.
I actually enjoy it. I feast off it.
That's his kink. Ouch.
For some reason that hurt. Now, Jonathan, the guest house toilet is clogged.
Full like bad.

How did you already drive to my house and back, let alone take a shit?

You were here four minutes ago.

Time is a liberal fiction, Jonathan.

Oh, right.

Anyway, here's the tweet that I wrote while I was on the toilet.

Great.

We all remember an America where toilets did not clog.

But that America is gone, replaced by a crime ring of foreign-born plumbers who seek to humiliate us and marry our fertile wives. Interesting.
This nation is threatened by a toilet catastrophe, and if we do not flush our radical socialist enemies down the toilet. You know what? Yes.
That's enough, you little freak.

What?

I wrote a tweet.

You did? I wrote a tweet addressing this exact situation before the show. But did you print it out, Jonathan? I did print it out.
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah. All right, here we go.
Let's hear it. First of all, you clogged that toilet.
And I have a great plumber because I have to. Second, you are the perfect person to represent the Trump administration.
Thank you. Like you, your little movement was on the outside.
Look at you getting angrier and angrier, crueler, fantasizing about the day you'll be in charge. And now you're there.
And still no one respects you. And it also sounds like your wife left you for Elon Musk.
Well, I can't comment on that, but yes did and why do you think i'm in your guest house words have meaning some you can describe los angeles as a war zone or immigrants as an invasion or standing up for our neighbors as a rebellion but it doesn't like make it true and nobody buys what you're saying because you don't know people like you hate us i do you grew up here but you don't know this city at all. You're still the same lonely loser from Santa Monica High School.

And the only reason someone is broken as you could get anywhere near a position of power is because no one of any quality would get near Donald Trump.

Jonathan, you cut me to the quick.

I'm going to write an Airbnb review that absolutely destroys you, Jonathan.

Hit me, freak.

I'll hit you, freak.

Here's my review. Zero stars.
The toilet was clogged and the wallpaper was gay. C plus Santa Monica fascist Stephen Miller, everybody.
That felt good. Boo, yay.
The wallpaper is pretty gay. It's got pomegranates on it.
That's some gayass wallpaper. With early voting underway in New York City's mayoral primary,

a new Marist poll released Wednesday found that Andrew Cuomo still held a significant lead,

but that progressive Assemblyman Zoran Mamdani was gaining momentum.

The fact that Cuomo's still in the lead should prove once and for all

that Cuomo's sexuality is not a choice.

These people are born this way.

Last week, Mamdani and Brad Lander, who's the controller, cross-endorsed each other. In New York City, we have ranked choice voting.
That means you can rank up to five candidates for mayor. Brad and I are officially telling our supporters.
Rank me number one. Rank Zoran number two.
Let's send Andrew Cuomo back to the suburbs. Just kiss already.
On Thursday, Karen Reed was found not guilty of murdering her boyfriend, Boston Police Officer John O'Keefe. Yeah, correct.
The case became a TikTok sensation, with many convinced that Karen Reed had been framed. So basically, it seems like the cops tried to frame her.
But that doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't responsible for the death. But because they tried to frame her for a crime she may have committed, the framing was enough to create the reasonable doubt so that she could go free.
But that's not as fun for people because it's unsatisfying. It makes it harder to say that she should be on the next season of The Traitors.
And that's what our society has become. And finally, an Italian museum released security footage seeking the identity of a tourist who pretended to sit on a crystal-encrusted replica of a historic chair only to fall and crush it beneath him.
Oh! Now here's the question for all of you. How many of you? Be honest.
Be honest. You can lie to me.
It's worthless. Don't lie to yourselves.
You telling anybody? Or are you walking the fuck out of that museum? What are you going to go, find a docent? Many were furious at the tourists for making such an obvious blunder, trusting Italian manufacturing. Even more troubling, Italian officials are also seeking the identity of this dog who

seems to be holding up the entire weight of the Tower of Pisa.

Yeah, let's leave it on a visual joke for our fucking podcast.

For the people at home, there's an adorable dog holding up the Tower of fucking Pisa. Holding up the Tower of Pisa.
Coming up, Larry Charles, comedy legend, is here for a segment about nothing. We'll be right back.
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And we're back! Please welcome to the stage a man whose comedy legacy will haunt our nation's wives forever, the director of Borat, Bruno, Seinfeld, so much more, the legendary Larry Charles. Larry Charles, what an honor.
Thank you for being here.

That's great.

It's just the water.

You know what?

My hand's clammy from being Jewish.

Okay. So it's fine.
Goodness. Nice to meet you.
Thank you so much. Good to see you.
Thank you. Hi.
Congrats on the book. Thank you very much.
It's about your journey through basically like so many of not just great, historic, iconic shows and movies, but ones that were transformative. And I just find that like interesting that I remember when I saw Borat in the theater and it's strange and there's never been anything like it.
And then all of a sudden you get to a naked fight in the hotel. And I felt like I'm like, I don't even understand how this exists.
Like, I don't understand how I'm living in a world where I'm watching something that looks so real and strange. And I'm just, when you're shooting that scene, what is the experience you're having? The same as yours, actually.
I mean, comedy, what I love about a scene like that is that it's just like you say, the audience couldn't possibly anticipate a scene like that. The audience doesn't know.
You guys didn't know that you needed that scene until you saw that scene, you know, and I love that kind of surprise. The element of surprise is so rare in comedy these days.
So much is predictable and derivative. And this kind of emerged kind of just out of the ether.
And we didn't know it was funny either. And the guy who was with Sasha, Ken, who played Azamut, he kept saying, what's funny about this? What's funny about this? And we would just say, trust us, trust us.
And that's what we say to the audience too, trust us. So there are some comedy directors who want the set to feel funny, the making of it to feel funny, everybody having a great time.
But then there are comedy directors, some of the greats that say basically if everybody's laughing and having a good time on set, you're getting garbage on the screen. What school are you in? Well, actually, because I've done so many different things.
I mean, something like Curb, you want a loose, fun set and people having a time. So that is kind of a much more of a party atmosphere.
But when you're doing Borat and you know the police are hovering and there are angry people around, you have to be super, super serious. So no one is allowed to laugh just in order to get the scene.
So there is a very different kind of need to a Borat scene than, say curb scene. And then the environments have to be completely different as well.
Yeah. Right.
Well, one's in a ballroom at a hotel with a bunch of horrified onlookers. Real angry people.
Yes. They were.
They were real angry people. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
But at some point, you're not at some point they've rolled through the hotel ballroom and they're out into the next part when you're not. I don't know if you're running and catching that.

I don't know exactly how you're producing this.

But at some point, you're now just standing there with a bunch of cameras in a ballroom.

It's a bunch of freaked out people.

You go like, well, thanks, everybody.

That's a wrap.

And we'll head out.

No, actually, we're running.

We're running, too.

We're taking our cameras and we are running.

One of the things that we do before we do the scene is we, it's almost like we case the joint rather than like scout a location, you know? So we know where the exits are and we know where the vans are going to be parked. And we know at a certain point, there's a good chance that we're going to have to run and we're running for that exit and that exit and that exit.
And there's a van waiting for us. And so we have to have all that stuff ready.
We're not hanging around afterwards. We don't want people to question us unless the police catch us, which happened a few times also.
We had like about 150 police incidents on Borat. Wow.
Yeah. Yeah.
Of all kinds, from regular police, local police to like the Secret Service in Washington. We had everybody stopping us, questioning us.
But there was only two arrests the entire time. So you're brave.
Not bad. Not bad.
Two out of 150 is pretty good. They're both in jail still.
But I mean, that's a separate. So you're brave.
There's bravery in you. Or stupid.
I don't know. I'm not sure.
I think I guess I'm not afraid. Is that the same thing as bravery? I don't think so.
Yeah, I agree with you. I'm not running into situations recklessly.
I am just, from being from Brooklyn and being in a lot of confrontations in my life. I'm just not afraid.
I know psychologically most people don't want violent confrontation, even if they threaten it. So for some reason in those situations, those violent situations, I get calm.
I don't know why that is. That's just my sociopathic personality, perhaps.
But I don't get afraid of those situations. And I did this show where I was in Somalia and places like that, and I kind of get calm when things get really tense.
I can't explain it. When do you get really anxious? Right now, before the show.
You get anxious? Yeah, yeah. This freaks me out way more than Somalia.
Oh, that's very silly. The stakes here are so low.

I don't know why. Again, I can't explain my psychology exactly.

So I saw you talking about Seinfeld and about one of your favorite moments, which is when Philip Baker Hall, is that his name?

Yes.

Was doing this, the book guy, Mr. Bookman or Detective Bookman or something? He was a lieutenant, John.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, I don't want to take his rank down.
But you said that you liked it because it was not the kind of thing that you would see in a sitcom. And there's so many shows, especially now, that are just like everything else.
But then there are also a lot of crap of people whose goal is to make something that's not like everything, which is not enough of a reason to make something. I agree with you.
And I'm curious how you think about that, where it's like you're bored by what is or what has been happening. You want to kind of try to find something interesting to do that hasn't been done.
But that leaves, that leaves open. The reason people do things that have worked in the past is it's hard to have taste when you can't imagine what it could be.
And I'm just wondering how you think about taste and figuring out how to make something different. That's still good.
Taste is a dangerous thing. I believe, I mean, you have to be willing to risk bad taste.
You have to be, look at John Waters. I mean, who's one of my heroes.
You have to be willing to step over that line and you have to be willing to fail. Failure is a big part of the equation, you know, and I, and in Seinfeld, we assumed we were going to fail and therefore we had nothing to lose.
And we wanted to just do a funny show. We thought it would get canceled after a few episodes and we would go on our merry way, continuing to be failures.
And in a way, that was our liberation. And so we created something, you know, we worked on something and created something that was just funny for us.
And it happened that we got lucky enough that the show stayed on the air long enough for the audience to discover it. Things like that usually don't happen.
There's a lot of kind of accidents, happy accidents that led to Seinfeld becoming Seinfeld. It wasn't Seinfeld at one time.
It was a show that was barely hanging on, a show that was losing to a show called Jake and the Fat Man. That was the show that was kicking our ass in the ratings at that time.
I don't think there's any reason to cast aspersions about a quality piece of 90s programming Jake and the Fat Man. You're right.
You're right. I love it myself.
I watch it in reruns. Because there's Jake and he has his perspective.
Yeah. But it's totally different from where Fat Man's coming from.
The Fat Man, you know, he's a cop with integrity. He just has a weight problem.
That's all. Yeah.
If only that character was ever even given a name. Yeah.
He didn't like that either. That bothered him too.
Well, you know, when I sure should, there was Bea Arthur, you know, everyone, there's all this been like, you know, Bea Arthur was mean on the set of Golden Girls and didn't get along with the other women on the set. And I was like, of course she didn't.
Every other character was made fun of their character's traits, right? Betty White is stupid. Blanche Devereaux is a slut.
Bea Arthur's character was ugly. And they're like, you're an ugly bitch.
And she's like, stop doing that. I still leave like this.
That sucks. Yeah.
She's like that all the time and she can't help it. Yeah.
It was a weird thing to make central to your character.

It's hard to go to work like that.

It must wear on you.

It could have been three golden girls and an ugly bitch or something.

And then the show would have been very different.

Yeah.

It wouldn't have been kind.

Has streaming been good?

Your segues are great, by the way.

Thanks.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Has streaming been good? I can't tell. In a way, everything is about economics, and that depresses me in a way.
There's no real kind of originality. There's a need for all this programming to come out constantly feeding the machine.
And I think that the good things get lost in the the shuffle and the bad things dominate. And it's really hard for an audience to delineate things because they're being inundated with stuff all the time, you know.
So, in a way, streaming is a way for these corporations, these media corporations, to come up with new ways to make money, you know. And so, I don't have a great affection for it.
These algorithms, I'm very skeptical of the whole process. Yeah.
But the other side of it, right, is they're making a ton of stuff and some of it is excellent, right? They are getting behind really interesting stuff. It's hard to find that stuff, though.
Right. But that's the audience's fault, too.
That's true. Maybe so.
Maybe so. Because it's there...
I don't know if that's true, though. Sorry to interrupt you.
No, hit me. Yeah.
I don't know if that's true, actually, because the brainwashing, the sophisticated brainwashing that goes on to manipulate you into watching something has reached a certain level now where the audience really almost can't make that choice. They think they're making a free choice, but they're actually being manipulated into thinking it's a free choice, and it's a choice that the corporations want them to make.
Wow. Do you believe in free will? Thank you.
That was lackluster. Because they want to go back and watch their shows.
Yeah, they're like, that's not why I watch Love Island. I watch Love Island because I'm a fully complete formed person.
I have independent thoughts. I'm going to go home and watch Love Island.
Yeah. Do you believe in free will? No, I don't.
I don't believe in free will. I think everything is sort of, you know, we have certain choices, but I believe everything is like as far back as you want to take it, you're being manipulated.

Your mind is being conditioned constantly.

And so the idea is you're supposed to think you have a free choice or free will.

But really, if you start to analyze all the strains and strands that have led to that choice, you realize it's a manipulation of some kind. Okay.
But that's why you got to not do that. Oh, that's a revelation to me.
That was your mistake right there. Wait, hold on.
Let me ask you this. Yes, yes.
Okay. You're deciding in the morning whether to take the train or the bus.
Right. You choose the train.
Unbeknownst to you, the bus, it was broken down. It was never going to go.
You were going to get to the bus station, turn around, go take the train anyway. But you chose the train.
You never heard about the bus. Did you choose the train? No, I don't think so.
I think it's random. I think there's a lot of luck involved in our choices.
And there are people that took the bus that day and had the broken down bus. So that day you made a good choice, but the next day you may not.
There's no logic. There's no sort of consistency to that free will idea.
The next day may be totally different. In fact, the next moment may be totally different.
You've lost control. I don't mind that.
Well, right. That may be okay.
I mean, we have to live with that. We're here.
We are here. Yeah.
So we have to make a decision about whether we're going to accept that or not. Cause if you fight against it, that's not going to really, you can't win that fight.
Is this getting too bleak? No, no, I don't, I don't mind it. It's just giving me a lot to think about.
Me too. So, uh, you've worked with these different, I, uh, you've worked with Sasha Baron Cohen, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, these extraordinary, talented Jewish guys.
Yeah. What have you like, isn't that, isn't that a, why are we so funny, you think? It's a great question.
I think I came from a part of Brooklyn that was like the the Kingston, Jamaica of comedy.

This part of Brooklyn, for some reason, generated a lot of great comedy talent from Mel Brooks and Lenny Bruce and Woody Allen and Larry David. And, you know, so many people came from that neighborhood.
I have some—my latest theory on this is that there's a Talmudic tradition of Jews arguing with each other and trying to top each other about the Bible or the Torah or whatever it is. And in a way, that generated absurdities and laughter.
When questions would be asked, there might be funny answers to those questions. And I kind of feel, and this is just a theory, that that might be the foundation for American Jewish comedy.

Interesting.

I like to think about that.

Whenever I go to like a deli in Los Angeles, like if I'll go to, you know, Nate Niles or go to Cantor's or one of the great delis, and I'll be there with like a Jewish friend of mine and we'll be just talking. And just, you know, Jews talk.

We talk.

We talk. We talk, we talk, we talk, we talk.
And I'll have this moment where I'll look over to another booth and I'll see two old men sitting in a booth doing the same thing. And I think, God damn it, I'm going to be doing this for 50 years.
Yeah. And then somebody is going to see me in this booth.
Yes. That's something nice about that.
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about, this Talmudic tradition.
There's a constant sort of back and forth. There's a contrarianism.
There's a questioning, a constant questioning that goes on. Unfortunately, I think it's not as prevalent as it used to be, and that's why you see very bad decisions being made like in Israel and places like that.
But it's like at one time that was a very crucial element of Jewish life was the questioning of things. And maybe that's not so prevalent anymore.
Now, were you almost arrested in Jerusalem or attacked in Jerusalem? I was attacked. Speaking of Israel.
Yeah. Yeah.
What happened? We were doing Bruno and we had a very short bit that we wanted to film. And I wanted to go to the most orthodox neighborhood to film it.
Sasha was supposed to wear a kind of a Hasidic hot pants. And he had a jaunty Hasidic hat.
And he was supposed to just walk from one corner to another. And the van was going to drop him off at that one corner and then pick him up at the next corner.
And we thought this was no big deal. It'll be funny.
You'll get some funny reactions. And as soon as he got out of the van in the hot pants, people came running from every direction with rocks and started throwing, I'm a lefty, started throwing the rocks and he was being stoned and he, and he screamed out, I'm a Jew.
And that made it worse. People were throwing bigger rocks, you know, and everybody.
We all scrambled in different directions. And all I ever cared about was getting the scene.
And I wanted to make sure it was being filmed and I wanted to make sure our cameraman was getting it. And so he and I kind of stayed behind while everybody else scattered.
And eventually I was surrounded by a bunch of extremely angry Hasids holding rocks ready to stone me at this close to me. And again, being from Brooklyn and used to the confrontation and not being freaked out about it, I had a monitor about the size of this thing and I held it up to them.
And said I will crack your fucking skull you know if you if you throw that you might kill me but I'm gonna kill you you know basically and they all backed off and the van came and I jumped in the van and I got away and we got the scene the scene is in the movie thank you speaking of me being alive yeah I'm A lot of real life. If you kill me, I'll kill you is also part of the scene.
The scene is in the movie. Thank you.
Speaking of me being alive. Yeah, I'm glad to be alive.
Yeah. If you kill me, I'll kill you is also part of the tradition.
Right, right. Very timely.
Yeah, I turn it. Yeah.
Tradition! Tradition! Tradition! And you know what that sound means? It's time for a segment we're calling 10 Buck Yucks.

Okay.

You said in your memoir that when you started out, you would sell jokes on the street.

Was it in Los Angeles or New York?

In Los Angeles.

In front of the comedy store.

For $10, which adjusted for inflation would be $40,000.

Now, we're going to share some classic jokes, and you'll tell us how many dollars you think these are worth, up to...

Is this today's dollars?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Yeah, sure.

Real current dollars.

Okay.

Post-tariff dollars.

Right, got it.

First joke, I've been in love with the same woman for 50 years.

If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me.

Seven. Seven, okay.
Yeah. Why do divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
I would say that's, that's, that's no more than the six 50 really. Not as good as the other one.
A young Jewish man goes to his father and says, father, can you lend me $40? His father shakes his head and says, $30. What do you need $20 for?

I love that one. Yeah.
I would, I would give the $30 for that. That's a good one.
Yeah. That's good.
Good. That's good.
That has so much original construction and it's, it's a very,

that's a clever joke. This one's one of my favorites, which is, uh, two old Jews are

sitting side by side, uh, uh, talking, uh, one Jew told to the other and says, Hey,

you getting any on the side? And the other Jew says, they moved it? That's not bad. I told that joke to a rabbi on this stage.
Did he take a swing at you? Women can be rabbis now. Oh, yeah, yeah.
She didn't like it. No.
Let's see what we got. A speeding car hits an elderly Jewish man crossing the street.
The paramedics rush to his aid. Says one, sir, are you doing all right? Said the man, I make a living.
Yes. Well, that's a $100 joke.
That's a classic. That's a classic.
That's a classic. That's a classic.
Let's do one more. Okay.
Let's do one more. A Jewish mother and her son are walking on the beach when a tremendous wave hits the shore, sweeping the sun out to sea.
You already know this one. You already know this one.
The mother calls to the heavens, God, please. He's my only child, the light of my life, bringing back to me.
And I promise we'll go to synagogue every week. No, every day with that, an even bigger wave crashes against the sand, depositing your son alive and well directly in front of her feet.
The mother looks up at the sky and says he was wearing a hat. Also a great joke.
It takes the construction of it. I love the structure.
So I'll give that a hundred dollars as well. So you'll appreciate that Senator Mike Lee, who is despicable, when he said about the shooter in Minnesota and tried to blame it on the left, Nightmare on Walt Street.
That is a despicable construction. Yes.

That is disgusting. Yes.
Because it's nightmare on Elm street, maybe Wolf of wall street. His name is walls.
What the fuck are we doing here? Yeah. Well, obviously not a Jew.
I mean, that's, you know, that's why, and that's such an important part of it. Chuck Schumer.
If Chuck Schumer had made that joke, it would work.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, he could have pulled it off.

He could have pulled it off.

All right.

Give it up for Larry Charles.

Thank you.

The book is Comedy Samurai.

Yes.

Everybody check out all these amazing stories.

Will I stay here now?

Yeah, you'll stay there.

Thank you very much.

When we come back, Larry and I are joined by Chinadu, Anaka, and Adam Lustig. Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It brought to you by Mint Mobile.
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See site for details. And we're back.
Please welcome to the stage, to the hilarious Chinatownaca, and for the first time this evening, the amazing Adam Lustig. Hi.
Nice to meet you, Harold. Great, great.
Nice to meet you. Good to see you.
How are you? Hey, Larry, good to see you again. Man, we realized backstay, I mean, I just, Adam had been on the show in 2018.

Yes, pre-COVID for sure.

When we were doing this back at the improv during the first time Donald Trump was fucking president. Yes.

Dealing with Stephen Miller.

Yes.

And here we are.

Yes.

Right back at it.

Right back where we started.

Still grinding away.

Chinatou, thank you for being here.

Welcome to the show.

How you doing? Thank you guys for having me. How's everybody hey y'all look good man nice to meet you yeah you too Adam you're Jewish right very yeah yeah yeah so it's three Jews and you yeah we kind of have you surrounded it's not my first time It's not his first Shabbos.

That's exactly right.

We almost have a minion.

Not really.

We're far from a minion.

This week, there's been a ton of news.

Wave after wave of news.

The kind that drags you along the sand and tears your bathing suit bottoms off in front of the hottest lifeguard.

Been there.

Been there.

Anyway.

We like to keep our listeners

as informed as possible, which is why I'm going to ask you

all to square off in a segment

we're calling News It or Lose It.

There it is.

There it is. News it.

News it or lose it.

Sometimes I've got to bully them a little bit. Yeah.
Why do you think it's not on TV, this show? Where am I wrong? You've gotten so many good things on TV. I'm stunned, actually.
This belongs on TV. Yes.
Yeah, it does. That's going on a poster.
That's the poll quote. For the podcast.
This is more entertaining than most of what's on TV. You know that yourself, I'm sure.
Yes. Yes.
Well, I was fishing for a compliment. I caught a big one.
Got a big one. First question.
This week, an American man and presumably voter, Chris Smith, talked to CBS News about falling in love. Let's roll the clip.
I'm not a very emotional man, but I cried my eyes out for like 30 minutes at work. It was unexpected to feel that emotional.
But that's when I realized, I was like, oh, okay.

It's like, I think this is actual love.

You know what I mean?

I think I know what he means.

Who did this man fall in love with?

I'm Trump.

Slightly smarter.

Okay. I will say, let me reframe the question.
What did this man fall in love with? What? Oh. A bot? A bot of some kind? Like AI woman? Yep.
You got it. No, really? Yeah.
This man is talking about being in love with chat GPT. Hey, chat's a smooth talker, though.
That's right. Chris Smith, who used his name and whole human face on the news, talked to CBS this morning about his AI chat GPT girlfriend, whom he programmed and then fell in love with, despite having a human girlfriend with whom he has a two-year-old daughter.
Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Oh, my goodness.
Chinatou, where are you on AI Lovers or Platonic? Where are you on AI? You know? I'm in the middle, because if I was to find out my girl was cheating on me, I would love it to be AI. And I could forgive that.
And if she wants, we could invite that person in.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, we could have a laptop up at the Cheesecake Factory.

I'm not.

I'm cool.

You know what I mean?

I'm open to that.

So progressive of you, Chima. 100%.

100%.

Forward thinking.

And then you never have to worry about sharing those sliders.

That part.

You know what I mean?

So I think we're headed that way in some ways. I hear there's a loneliness epidemic out there, too.
So if that helps people from doing, like, crazy stuff, I'm all for it. You know? Yeah.
I mean, I, yeah. No, I'm with you.
I think maybe, like, first people could, like, join a bowling league. You know? With another human being.
Yeah. There's a fee.
There's a fee. Yeah.
There is a fee for the bowling league, but maybe we can come up with some sort of loneliness rate. If you prove how sad you are.
Yeah. It's a pretty good idea.
So you're against the idea of a, of a human having a relationship with AI. I, um, wow.
You're really putting it to me. Pro or against, John? Pro or against?

I mean, not that he's cheating on his girlfriend in a way, emotionally.

He should have told her.

Assuming everything was clean,

what's wrong with that relationship?

Because I get excited when a self-check

line is empty.

Just a little bit.

It's kind of romantic.

Just a little bit.

Say, hey, babe.

Please put your stuff in the bag. You know what? Larry, thank you for asking that question.
I think I don't have a specific problem with the final moment of having a relationship with AI. What makes me worried is all the things that went wrong before the person sat at that computer.
And it's a broken world, a sad world where people are not finding this with human beings. And it may be that person's fault.
They may have terrible qualities, but it also is part of the problem of how we live right now, which is a world they didn't build. It's unfair to them.
And so there's a, you know, there's a convenience.

It's a little bit like streaming, right?

Like it is a better night, a night where you go out to dinner,

go to the movies, have a drink after and go home. But it is that moment where you decide not to do that feels awesome.

You know, you're like, oh, I'm just going to watch Real Housewives.

It's going to be so fucking good.

But if you do that over and over again,

you chose this thing that you thought you wanted over and over and over again but at the end of the week you'd be a happier person had you done the harder thing sooner and it's and we live in a world where it's so much easier to choose the easy thing and so that makes me sad yeah and that's the illusion of free will as well fuck wow that's right i got he got me whoa he got me yeah seems like a nice guy. He seems happy.
So I'm happy for him. Yeah.
I love love. He didn't seem happy.
He didn't seem happy. He was crying and he was like being very weird, actually.
That's not what happy looks like? No. No idea.
Next up, Republic Airlines CEO and commercial airline pilot Brian Bedford Trump's nominee to head up the FAA was in the spotlight this month not just because his nomination is going to a vote on June 25th but because Politico and the Air Current fun name for an air you know for a newspaper about air stuff the current very clever I like it I like it I like. They revealed he does not actually have this.
What doesn't he have? He doesn't have something he said he had. An AI wife.
A pilot's license? That's it. Oh, really? A pilot's license? He doesn't have a pilot's license.
His official biography claims he's certified to fly commercial flights, but Politico discovered he does not actually have a commercial license

of any kind. The Department of Transportation

sent a statement. Brian never misrepresented his credential.

It was an administrative error that was immediately

corrected, though he did admit

he does not have a commercial license and a questionnaire

released on Monday. Is there a shortage

of pilots? There is.

Well, then, you know, sometimes you've got to

bend the rules a little bit.

We've got places to be. With the market demands.
He should borrow Nathan Fielder. The plane's flying himself.
Nathan Fielder is actually more qualified for that job than this guy is. What did you think about? Nathan Fielder, to me, feels like a kind of whatever, air to the Borat kind of gonzo comedy thing.

Like when you watch Nathan Fielder fly,

this is a spoiler alert for,

well,

I guess you've already,

fuck it.

Are you going to watch the rehearsal?

Yeah.

Well,

when you watch it,

he does something,

he does things that you see and you think,

I cannot believe I'm watching this.

I agree with you.

Do you feel like that's like the legacy of Borat?

I don't,

I think he's taken it to a very different place.

I thought that was an extremely original show. We're talking about all the glut of stuff on streaming.
That show stood out to me. There's nothing like that show.
Just like this one. There's nothing like it.
Oh, thank you for saying that. I really thought.
Wow. I had to fish for that one.
That fish jumped right in the boat. That's like one of those flying fish that aren't supposed to be there.
That was an Asian carp. I got hit by an Asian carp of a carp.
And I loved it. Like a staff fish fillet, you know, free food.
It's a coin pod of comedy. Yeah, that was right.
I like that. I like that.
Next question. Which two basketball teams are squaring off this? What's funny about this show is we have the most specific arcane questions about the news.
And this question is is what two basketball teams are in the NBA finals? Okay. We were talking about this backstage, Sean.
I should warn you. Really? Yes.
These guys know. It's OKC and the Indiana Pacers.
Two small market teams. That's right.
Yeah. Great serious, but the viewership has been one of the lowest since.
Really? Yeah, just because there's no big stars. I'm enjoying myself.
Yes, we're enjoying it. Absolutely, yeah.
Anybody else watching? It's just us? Any rooting interest? Yeah, of course. My man.
Do you want to know who wants to know? No, no, no. Shut the fuck up.
Spoilers, please. You shut up.
I deleted four group chats today. Yes.
They have been so neurotic about this backstage. You have no idea.
And thank you for asking. Yes, thank you for asking.
You know what? Honestly, I want to say I apologize for how I reacted. I got pretty heated on their behalf because I'm like a freak about spoilers.
You know, like I watch soccer now. Cool.
I can't believe it's happened, but I do. I watch soccer now.
I go to Angel City games in LA all the time, and I love it. I'm really learning about it.
I found out what offsides was. Yeah.
Did you play? No. I coached soccer.
You coached soccer? I know nothing about soccer. But when I was a teacher, they needed a soccer coach.
And so they're like, you're athletic. I was like, I already bet.
And so I coached soccer for a season.

That's cool.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, you pick it up.

Or you make them up.

Yeah, you pick it up.

How old were the kids?

The middle school.

Middle school?

Low stakes, low stakes.

Boys or girls?

Boys.

So they're just at the age

where they're kind of like,

and they were good.

They were good?

Yeah, it's more,

it's more yelling encouragement.

Keep doing that.

Nice.

Yeah.

Keep it up?

Yeah, yeah.

What do you teach?

I taught special education, math and English. Yeah, math and math.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Appreciate that. Yeah, yeah.
What do you teach? I taught a special education. Math and English.
Yeah. Where'd you do that? Where were you teaching? LA.
I taught in LA. That's cool.
What do you think about someone who had such a meaningful and important work with kids? I'm very impressed with it. Yeah, because while you were fucking off with jokes.
Exactly. I was doing jokes too.
He was doing jokes. He was doing jokes but he was like helping kids in the school coaching these kids teaching them about the fucking world and you're like oh Sasha why don't you tell this store clerk that he's an idiot.
Let's get him real mad. But we're here together so that's that's the nice thing about it.
I used used to warm up the class with crowd work and stuff. Did you? Yeah.
What else? What else? What else? You guys see these folks? These pogs. What about these pogs? He asked them where they're from, but he knew where they're from.
Right. Yeah.
Anybody here dating? All right. Next question.
Despite being in charge of vetting thousands of administration employees, Trump's director of presidential personnel, Sergio Gore, hadn't completed his own vetting process, refusing to turn in the 100-page background dossier required for a permanent security clearance. This week, the former Ron Paul aide refused to answer what personal question when contacted by the New York Post? Is it A, are you married? B, what country were you born in? C, did you graduate high school? D, did you DJ Matt Gaetz's wedding? I'm going for all the above.
E. I'm going for D.
Matt Gaetz's wedding? I'm going to say that he refused to answer, are you married? All of you are wrong. He didn't answer what country...
It wasn't one of the questions that was on the card. It was, what country were you born in? Apparently, reports say he brags about being born in Malta.
Though Maltese official contacted by the Post could not find any record of his birth happening in the small country of just over 500,000 people, saying in a statement, no acts are registered with these provided details. And his last name is Gore? His name is Gore, and by the way, he did DJ Mackay.
It just sounded like something he would do. Oh my god.
Terror. So you mean Kid Rock's real name is Gorg yeah that's right that's right that's under a pseudonym yeah right right ew former White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney expressed his concern to the press this week over where the president would land his helicopter after Trump unveiled two new what where he'll where Trump would land his helicopter after he unveiled two new...
What would stop him from landing his helicopter? A helipad? Well, that would make it easier. Yeah.
Maybe ankle braces. It was two flagpoles on the North Lawn, one on the South Lawn.
He put in these giant fucking flagpoles. You're a loser, man.
For what? Why? The pole is so thick. Because he's a fucking asshole.
That's why. Because he's a bored, old idiot.
He's just like reorganizing the whole sport. Yes.
Don't you have work? Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Here's what he said about it. It is my great honor to announce that I will be putting up two beautiful flagpoles.
Oh, God. On both sides of the White House.
It is a gift from me. Something which was always missing from this magnificent place.
It was not missing. There was a flagpole on top of the White House.
It is famously where the American flag flies above the fucking White House. Promotently featured.
But because he has the same fucking intellectual capacity as a child that is not able to understand that when you do peek-a-boo, the person remains because he can't see the flag out the window. It doesn't fucking exist.
He can't conceive of other people seeing a world where he is an object and I can see the flag out the window it doesn't fucking exist. You can't conceive of other people

seeing a world where he is an

object and I can see the flag

on top of the building so there are no

flags.

Maybe

he actually went blind

when he looked at the eclipse.

Yes. That's why the flags have to

be so big.

Right in front of him. Right in front of them.

Right in front of them, because he stared at that stupid eclipse. Every single dumb, impulsive, idiotic decision that he makes, it is just terrible, like the amount of bureaucratic paperwork that has to follow.
Like now they have to find new places to land. It's like, so there's real consequences for real people trying to do real work.
This is tough for the next president because you want to remove the flags.

But, you know the you know yeah the news coverage are moving yeah oh taking down the flag you know the flag that our troops fight for piece of fucking shit i'm adding it to the roof yeah yeah that's right no the flags are not being now then being... Now, this is how the Democrats would handle it.

The press secretary would say,

there's a lot of misinformation

that President Buttigieg is removing American flags.

There's a lot of misinformation

that President Klobuchar is removing the flags.

Obviously, as the president said,

the flags are being moved to a museum. Yes.
And we'll be going from school to school. They'll be touring until you lose track.
One of them is for the Confederate flag. Right.
One of them will be for the Confederate flag. I'm sure he pitched it.
Yeah, exactly. This week, the New York Times is reporting that the Trump administration is considering overturning the ban on this outlawed building material, which is prohibited in over 50 countries due to its laying to lung and other forms of cancer.
Well, that's asbestos. Yes.
They're going to take, they want us, they're bringing asbestos back. Make asbestos great again.
Make America cancerous again. Yeah, that's exactly.
When I graduated from college, I worked as a temp paralegal and my job was filling out the paperwork for people trying to access those funds for methophilia. You know, they advertise on the subway that's like, have you metho-mesothelioma? Call this number.
I was at the other side of that process, filling out the forms in a windowless room with an improv person, a baker, and all of us sitting just like, where are we? What is this nightmare? It was very, um, like Brazil, like we're, we're, uh, the movie Brazil, not the country Brazil, but like the, uh, where we were in a windowless room and then, uh, uh, uh, uh, a legal aid would come by with a cart with a certain stack of paperwork. And our goal was to get to the bottom of our stack before she came with more, but it was fucking random.
It was random. That is very Brazil-like.
Yeah. I didn't teach kids.
I mean, we're all teaching in one way. Right.
Adam, you're working on a YouTube channel that's about explaining issues like this. people called Now What.
It's called Now What. And it is a kind of animation comedy initiative that was started by these two wonderful people, Brendan Burch and Wendy Willis, who used to work at this great animation company, Six Point Harness.
And yeah, they kind of launched it before the election to help get Kamala elected. So that worked.

That was good.

But they've been making a lot of wonderful animated shorts, trying to sort of get the youth out to vote and be informed about things like the gun control and what's really in the big, beautiful bill and the housing crisis, et cetera. So it's been really great.
That's great. and just because I thought it was funny there was apparently an episode of

Two Broke Girls in 2013 where they added jokes on the day of the shoot to make fun of your baldness. Correctamundo.
Yeah, that's right. Yes, exactly right.
Yeah. I was, it was one episode.
We were at a diner. I was supposed to be like sort of a shitty boyfriend or something.
That was like the bit of the scene, I guess.

And on the day, they were like, oh, this would be great.

Like really poke fun of them.

And I believe the line they added, it was something along the lines of, I can't remember.

I'm going to butcher it, I think.

You're going to butcher a two broke girl's line?

Go for it.

A two broke girl's line from 13 years ago.

But anyway, sorry, I can't remember. But yes, they did did they went out of their way to sort of mock my baldness in the scene so sort of it's my calling card I guess so that's it yeah yeah that was their first time doing it on the show having a bald person on the show I was in that it was one scene I was just been on the show before or since.
But that wasn't as good when you auditioned. Correct.
And they threw that on you when you got there. Yeah, he's bald.
Let's maybe put some jokes in about that. Yeah, exactly.
Tell me that before I say yes. Did they ask you? No, no.
I was such a good sport. And it was, I was.
Yeah, of course. I'm going to say yeah, too.
Of course, obviously. What are you going to do? But inside, I'm like.
Exactly. That's right.
My mom's watching this. Yeah, exactly.
Would you have done that to Adam? Larry? Well, Larry David, I mean, he was an openly bald person. Yeah.
He really broke down that highest, hardest bald ceiling. Right.
And so we had somebody in the show, we had a regular, unlike two broke girls, we had a regular character in the show who was bald. Yes.
Chinadu, you won the game. Wow, Chinadu, congratulations, man.
Congrats, bud. You won the game.
You know why I won the game? Because he's a teacher. Because he was a fucking teacher.
He was a teacher. Because he's a teacher.
Thank you, man. Well, you were doing your little jokes about your appearance at you.
Yeah, at me. And Larry was like, I don't know, maybe they could talk about nothing.
You were helping. He was helping people.
We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere.
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Yeah. The acting is not great though.
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All right.

We are recording this show on Juneteenth, a day that marks the release of the last American slaves two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation.

In the spirit of something that's better late than never, we're each going to share something

great we found too late in a segment we're calling the Late and I Rate Wheel. So in this wheel, we're just going to talk about something we discovered too late, but better late than never, you know? Let's see the wheel.
Wow. Chinadou! Something that's late, but it's good.
I don't know. This is everywhere, but I've been seeing it more often.
You know, the only you put the parking meters. Now they have the, like a QR code that you could pay.
You don't have to come back. Yes.
Yeah. You run out of time.
You have to go. Now you could pay wherever you are.
You know what I mean? And so now I feel like I'm getting way less parking tickets for that reason. And so I think that's a good thing.
But I wonder, that technology was available a long time ago. And I wonder who pushed that through.
And whoever did should be running for president. Kudos.
That is better to have the QR codes. I saw that the other day.
It was cool. God, I wonder what kind of convoluted, hell-like process it took to get those QR codes onto those parking meters in Los Angeles.
You know, because the money's in the ticket, not in the actual meter. Right, right, right.
With different budgets, too. You know, it's like, you know, there's somebody who's got to want to try to get any money for the tickets.
You know what's been driving me crazy in Los Angeles lately? Is anyone else noticing that more and more cars

have darker and darker tinted windows?

That it's getting out of control?

It is getting out of control.

It's the middle of the day.

These are just pitch black windows.

And I worry about what it's like at night.

But it's like, hey, part of the code of being fellow human beings

is I need to see that you see that i see you correct for getting in right what the fuck and like uber no no just generally generally all the cars have tinted windows yeah like their windshields are tinted now yes what's going on i think yeah i mean people are doing weird things They're digging boogers. Yeah, usually.
Try this. It's usually boogers.

I think.

Yeah. What's going on? I think, yeah.
People are doing weird things. Yeah, they're digging boogers.
Yeah, usually. It's usually boogers, I think.
Yeah, that's why I pick my nose. No.
Do you have tinted windows? No. Jennifer.
I pick my spots a good. That's confidence.
That's knowing yourself. He was a teacher.
He was a teacher. I do think there's a connection between the tinted windows and the people falling in love with chat gpt i can see a connection it's happening inside the cars yeah it is and that and that's the connection it's what's happening inside the vehicles themselves it's like i don't need tinted windows and yeah i'm going to mcdonald's in the morning and i am doing the double cheeseburger second double cheeseburger for a dollar and then eating them both in the morning john well after 11 right yeah why should i get the fucking salad adam i don't think they even have i'm gonna get the salad at the office that's why i have to have the burgers on the way.
Those are my secret burgers to make the

salad possible. Let's spin it again.
Larry, what's something that you came to, uh, or that came to

you better late than never? Well, you know, I thought about this question so deeply that I

actually wrote something down.

Wow.

And I'm even going to take my glasses off.

Yeah.

And this is not particularly a funny one.

And I'll just read it.

The things that I feel are late still haven't come.

I would call these things too late.

That's how late they are.

The end of the Palestinian genocide. No matter when it happens, it's going to be too late.
That's how late they are. The end of the Palestinian genocide, no matter when it happens, it's going to be too late.
We led the coup in Iran in 1953 that ousted their democratically elected leader and replaced him with a stooge, the Shah of Iran, which led to the Islamic revolution. And now we're still meddling in their business and going to war with them along with Israel.
Like, no matter when that ends, it's too late, you know? Gay marriage was passed, but now it's in danger of being taken away along with trans rights. You know, so even though those things came along, now they're being repealed.
You know, that's the environment we're in. The climate

and of course the end of Trump. No matter when

Trump ends, in

whatever form he ends, it's going to be too late.

So that's my...

Yeah, it's true.

It's true. And I wrote

it down.

I'm glad you did.

I could never have done it otherwise.

Let's spin it again. I wonder who it could possibly be.
Oh my God, it's me. It is Leonard Adam.
So this is something that is, I feel like late, maybe not for me personally, but more for the culture, which is the lionization of Paul Rubens. I love the Paul Rubens reputational repair.
Yes. I feel like, I don't know if you, I don't know him personally, but of course Pee Wee meant the world to us.
And I think I speak for all of us and say it meant the world to us. And by all anecdotal accounts and by all whatever, he was just like a menschy, lovely, caring, thoughtful, silly, kind man who was, as we all know, like, you know, infamously busted for masturbating in a porn or theater, which is kind of like being busted for bowling in a bowling alley, I guess.
But, and it, I just am happy that better late than ever, he is sort of getting the kind of reputational whatever that I feel like is long deserved. That's a good one.
That's a really good one. And what we were talking about earlier, too,

about just doing something no one else had done before.

And there was a story, I'm losing her name,

because I'm remembering from the fly,

but she was the mail person on Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse before she was ever on Law & Order.

And it was her first day, and Pee Wee Herman was just making her crack up.

She was just losing it.

She was laughing.

She couldn't stop laughing.

She was trying to keep it together, doing new stuff to make her laugh.

He was laughing, having a great time.

And the director, who was directing this thing, just kept saying, we're going to lose it.

You've got to get it.

You've got to get it.

He's getting more and more angry.

And she turns to Paul Rubens, and it's like, hey, keep making me, please just, just stop looking at me. You're gonna make me laugh.

I'm going to lose this job. They're going to fire me.
And Paul Rubens just goes,

that's up to me.

It's like such a good story. That's great.
It's my decision.

Really cool. Um, Let's spin it again.
It is. This wheel is rigged.
I think it is rigged. It is a bit rigged.
It's also one, it forces you to ask, what purpose does it serve? We could just take turns without the ball. We could potentially just take turns without it.
But it adds a little something. Yeah.
It's like it's Hollywood. We're in Hollywood.
We used to make things here. We used to make things.
Here's what I came late to. I came late to the whole, I've talked about it, but Real Housewives.
I came late to it and I love it so much. I cannot believe how entertaining it is.
It's got its hooks in me. It is some of the best.
The writing is as good as any writing. The acting is as good as any acting.
The stories are as good as any stories. It is fucking incredible.
Every episode has a line where if you saw it in a scripted drama or comedy you think that is one of the funniest most creative things i've ever heard just coming out of these fucking women's mouths and it rules and i love it um and uh i i'm gonna try to interview them as much as possible now and i'm gonna i'm and their their stories are now going be infused into everything I do. And that's become part of my identity.
The real housewives are part of my identity. We just finished all the way through New York.
Now we're back at Beverly Hills from the jump. Oh my God.
I didn't know Lisa Vanderpump was British. I found that out this fucking week.
British Vanderpump. Where's their money from? It can't be from restaurants.
That house is too big for it to have come from restaurants. It's a tough business to restaurant business.
It's low margin. If it rains, you lose the whole fucking day.
It's crazy. Too much house for restaurants.
I also came late to the plug for Trinity special.

Yeah.

Which is your specials on Hulu on July 11th.

July 11th.

Yep.

But you could see him 24-7 on Instagram.

Yeah.

Not 24-7.

I don't know.

But usually three days out of the week, I might post something or share something.

Right. I guess you're not there 24-7, but I might post something or share something.
Right.

I guess you're not there 24-7, but we could be.

Yeah, Bex.

Right.

Exactly.

We could be there anytime.

100%.

That's the thing about Instagram.

I'm on it.

I just, I'm not posting often.

But if you DM me, I'll see it.

Wow.

And I'll respond.

That's sweet.

I'm like, yeah, man.

Appreciate it.

I like that.

They all have these little tiny fucking dogs oh housewives I ain't talking about no dogs on the special alright everybody check out Jinadu's special check out Adam's work for now what everybody check out Larry's book comedy samurai 40 yearsurai, 40 Years of Blood, Guts, and Laughter in equal measure.

Yes, sir.

That's our show.

One more time for Larry Charles,

Chinatouanaka, and Adam Lustig.

We will see you next week at the Elysian Theater.

There are 500 days until the midterms.

Fuck. Have a great night.

Have a great night. Have a great weekend.
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