Ep 531 - Bluesky (feat. Billy)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to look again.

Speaker 1 Just give me the word, Sean.

Speaker 1 Ah.

Speaker 1 That sounds like the chanting and all. Sorry, I fucked up the clap.
My bad. I shouldn't.
Is it good? We'll be able to identify

Speaker 1 in the editing room. We should do a nonverbal episode where you always go, ah.

Speaker 1 Primal? Totally primal. That's a better way to put it.

Speaker 1 Primal screams. Probably what's been happening here in the the last few months.
That's a black cave, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Please speak on it so they don't think I'm just being a white racist. I thought it was hilarious.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much,

Speaker 1 bro. No, you can't talk about it.
White comedians.

Speaker 1 That's all. That's law, bro.
Y'all are done. That's law.
Kendrick Lamar is joining the view as their sixth host.

Speaker 1 He looks like whoopies. I was going to talk about LeMaire.

Speaker 1 I was literally, I was like, oh, we'll save it for the pod. I was like, LeMaire's political views line perfectly with the view.
He's like, Israel needs to defend itself.

Speaker 1 So we need Kamala.

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, could we get him on? Could we get him on the View? What would it take? Could we get Lamar on?

Speaker 1 Maybe we could just knock out Whoopee.

Speaker 1 Fucking that looks like

Speaker 1 you take the chair.

Speaker 1 Shave the side of LeMaire's hair and his face, and he might be on it. Fuck.
That's love.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you guys talking about?

Speaker 1 Secret. You know, speak about stuff.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's got it, dude.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. When did he become like the ruler of everybody? He sucks, dude.
Kendrick Lamar.

Speaker 1 We have a black president, it's Jay-Z. Kendrick Lamar needs a stand down, dude.
Jay-Z started sacrificing.

Speaker 1 He'll sue you. He will.

Speaker 1 Pierce Morgan. Feel him in the beehive, beehive, bro.
Huh? Fuck him in the beehive. What? I don't fuck with them.
Once I opened up for the DNC, shout out LeMaire.

Speaker 1 I was like, dude, these people are scumbags. LeMaire wanted a mama.

Speaker 1 Yeah. LeMer cried with Mama.

Speaker 1 Before, before I get out of here.

Speaker 1 The tweet you heard around the world. Before, before I get out of here.

Speaker 1 One of the all-time lamest tweets.

Speaker 1 Speak all that, dude. It wasn't that bad, dude.

Speaker 1 You had a tweet right before it, before I get out of here, and then you had another tweet after that before before i get out of here

Speaker 1 it was full tweeting though what was the full tweet huh do you remember what the tweet was before i get out of here uh well it was before before i get out of here no uh it was about oh no no it was about china won because china won because trump won

Speaker 1 where did you get such an idea from you know watches wrestling in the view

Speaker 1 dude i didn't know wrestling fans were all liberal oh yeah i didn't know that either i thought for sure they would be the boys i think think

Speaker 1 our wrestlers think there's no in between. Every time someone trashes me on Twitter,

Speaker 1 I click it and it's like, yeah, it's cartoon wrestling. What?

Speaker 1 Every time.

Speaker 1 They're very binary. And they are far right or far left.
You're a Nazi guy with Down Center. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I could see becoming like a staunch feminist being a wrestling fan. You're like, guys, for real, these women are strong as hell.
China? Yeah, all of them. Yeah, all the Jivas.

Speaker 1 Like, women are jacked and have big, huge butts. They can do whatever.
I think they just do exactly what their parents do.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? The bros. It's like if you have liberal parents, you're just a drag queen Down syndrome kid, or it's like, oh, you're a fucking.
Oh, you're talking about people with Down syndrome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
That's.

Speaker 1 No, those guys are making some choices.

Speaker 1 They have a lot of choices.

Speaker 1 They're stubborn as fuck.

Speaker 1 They make any choice, and it's over. That's their choice.
Same here. I'd love to see him form like a real political block.
It would be great.

Speaker 1 That's where like politicians would have to start pandering.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to have wrestling again.

Speaker 1 It's a government mandate. There will be 10 new Shrek's by the year 2035.

Speaker 1 There will be 20 new Shreks.

Speaker 1 That'd be nice. They'd win.

Speaker 1 They'd get mobilized. They'd be easy.

Speaker 1 Ameasy.

Speaker 1 So what do you mean? House a little sticky when we walked in.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember that smell. I haven't been here.

Speaker 1 The last time I was here was when I did Tromp on Kill Tony. It's sitting in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 I literally just took my clothes off and left. Your clothes are sitting there? Yeah, they're just still sitting there.
Like when a homeless person sheds the garb, it just sits like a piece of bread.

Speaker 1 It's literally like two bags of chips and a bottle of water on the ground. It looks like he got evicted.
Yeah. But I haven't been here since.
Came back in. House smells entirely like shit.

Speaker 1 You think so?

Speaker 1 It's getting better now. And a room smelled just like this.
Blunt guts and throws. Oh, yeah.
That's what it is. You saw blunt guts? I just smell it.
The whole back room.

Speaker 1 He's been sitting back there smoking blunts, jacking off. Come on, Leon.
That sounds kind of nice. I wasn't jacking off in there.

Speaker 1 True, we catch one. For the only beat off in that room, there's no way you got horny in there and walked across to your room to jack off.
I know you stayed in there at least once.

Speaker 1 At least once. I had to reclaim the room.

Speaker 1 But every other time you did a boner shuffle straight to the poor house. You had to do the bone shuffle.

Speaker 1 Damn, so you caught one in there. That's the one thing I'm proud of.
My laptop, I've never caught one off my laptop. Really? It makes you feel good.
Yeah, yeah, it's untainted.

Speaker 1 Clean, yeah, it's a clean machine.

Speaker 1 It's got no, I haven't smudded my laptop out. It's just a workhorse.
Sometimes it calls.

Speaker 1 And then this little fucking bitch takes this

Speaker 1 nasty. Sexy rose toy takes the brunt.

Speaker 1 This poor thing. It is our toy.
That's everywhere.

Speaker 1 Bro, that's the worst.

Speaker 1 That's on True Life. I'm addicted to porn.
The guy had to put in a pants. I think they'll stop you, but you're just like, yeah, I love them.
Anyway, let me.

Speaker 1 One day they'll understand their father was a complicated man and just right past him. Yeah, it's no stop.
Yeah, I'll decline. Mom phone call, jacking off.

Speaker 1 Decline. Yeah,

Speaker 1 do you ever stop? Do you ever actually stop while doing it? Take the call, and the whole time you're like, please, just like you. I'd love to tell you I never did that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 yes, I've taken some phone calls mid-beat, and then gone right back. They got to work it back up again.
I know, it's actually kind of nice. You get a second beat.

Speaker 1 Cooks would hit me with that all the time. He would call me like 3:30.
I'm like, I can't talk right now. So you're jerking off.
Like, no, I'm not. Who would hit you with that? Cooks.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's true. 3:30 is like

Speaker 1 prime time after work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're working at 7 to 3, like a man. Yeah.
If you're on a girl schedule, 9 to 5.

Speaker 1 Just kidding. I love you guys.
I love all you guys.

Speaker 1 We didn't mean to be sexist like that.

Speaker 1 So did you get attacked online? He cried when you Trump won. He cried.
I didn't cry.

Speaker 1 You did. He did.

Speaker 1 You saw him cry?

Speaker 1 I didn't even make hot dogs.

Speaker 1 Damn, bro.

Speaker 1 I did not cry.

Speaker 1 I did make hot dogs, but we made some sad hot dogs. It was post-noctus hot dogs.

Speaker 1 Did you boil them or how'd you cook them? Of course. Oh.
You got to boil the dog, dude. Damn, bro.
Just boiled your mission.

Speaker 1 You would have hit the grill. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You would have got the Bluetooth speaker going.
Pigs feet. That's footlongs, dude.

Speaker 1 That's grilled foot long with some kielbasas.

Speaker 1 Some kielbasas for a kabambala. Kielbasa hairs.

Speaker 1 Where is she? Is she still like hell-bent on saving the country or is she like just? No, she's 20 million dollars in debt after they raised a billion dollars.

Speaker 1 She probably would have been a great person. Wait, Wait, is she not fighting the fight still? I thought that's all she wanted to do.
What?

Speaker 1 I thought she'd be fighting the fight still. No, they're not done.
No, the message of joy continues. At least they got those missiles to Ukraine.
That was important. Yeah, that was huge.

Speaker 1 And then Shapiro signed them, too. That was real huge that Shapiro did that.
Yeah, we're going loving humanity domestically after we ship those long-range missiles to Ukraine and blast Russians.

Speaker 1 That was a wild move, by the way.

Speaker 1 It really bothered me. Yeah, that was just like, what? What a fucking spazz.
Stop. What a spazz.
To be like, okay, well, fuck that. I don't care about money at all.
Oh, Trump's going to end the war.

Speaker 1 Fuck you guys. I know.
We're going to fire everything we have. It did feel like, kind of like, oh, yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker? Watch this.
And it's like, you guys are nasty.

Speaker 1 They did it with the jab, bro. Although,

Speaker 1 dude, nothing worse than a scorned woman, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hell hath no fury, dude. She might be in that, dude.
They might get rid of Biden for that. Joe Byron.
Joe Byron. She'll get to taste the.

Speaker 1 That'd be cool if you had to taste the Prez. She had to do it for a few days.
She had to taste the Prez? Yeah. She had the White House tour.
They said that new Biden tours. She goed it.

Speaker 1 One week. Shit was just great.
Did you see that?

Speaker 1 Fucking Joe Biden voted in an all-red suit, and Trump said, Yo, he hates you, Kamala. And it's true.
Fucking Joe Biden wouldn't shake her hand. Hold on.
Joe Biden wore the red. She blew the flag.

Speaker 1 She rocked all red to go vote. Dr.
Jill? Yes. The doctor.
Now she's officially got a doctor. Was she Dr.
Seuss?

Speaker 1 Why would she wear it all red?

Speaker 1 I don't think Byron's going to step down.

Speaker 1 Joe Byron. Byron's not going to let them hit 25th Amendment.
Although Time Traveler

Speaker 1 at the end of his thing said, be careful what you wish for, they might hit you with that. Byron said that in El Paso, Texas.
Dude, there's no way. He's definitely standing down.
No way.

Speaker 1 Time Traveler Trump said, be careful what you wish for. He said that in El Paso.
Do you ever see the

Speaker 1 book? It's a book about. It was a book written in the 1990s.
Yeah, The Adventures of Baron Trump or whatever. Yeah.
He has a fucking...

Speaker 1 He's a time traveler.

Speaker 1 I know, but what did he say in El Paso? Oh, be careful what you wish for because they were trying to hit Trump with the 25th Amendment, and now Byron might be get hit with it.

Speaker 1 That was like four years ago. Joe Byron.
When they.

Speaker 1 I always forget he's the president. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think the last like two months, or I guess now it's been like a couple of weeks, I've been like, okay, so Trump's the president. I'm like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Whenever someone's like, president-elect, I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah.
I got to remember stuff like that. Be like, the president-elect, you mean? It's going to be

Speaker 1 the president. Blue Anon's going crazy right now.
Oh, Blue Ski. What's up, Blue Anon? Blue Anon, it's there.

Speaker 1 I feel for them because I was there. And they're like, oh, no, you don't understand.
In two weeks, it's all going to come out. It's like, it's always two weeks and nothing ever happens.

Speaker 1 Have you seen Blue Sky? No. Blue sky.

Speaker 1 It's different than the other place. It's Blue Ski.
The other place that we don't talk about. I thought it was Blue Ski the first 30 times I saw it.
I was like,

Speaker 1 Blue Ski.

Speaker 1 X is the other place. Oh, Blue Sky's Live Twitter.
It's Blue Sky's Live Twitk.

Speaker 1 Can we stop? Blue Ski, I'm sorry. It's obviously Blue Sky.
Blue Ski. It's crazy.
Starting with Twitter. It's so funny.

Speaker 1 I actually, no, it was a genuine mistake. That's good boomer to style.
I was fully like, what the hell's blue ski?

Speaker 1 That's got to be so fun to go over there, dude. They're deranged.
It's crazy. It's like seeing the opposite of me.
Why are they starting Blue Sky, dude? Trump's.

Speaker 1 They don't want to go in the other place, dude. There's nothing but anti-Semitism and mean shit over there.
And we're going to call it Twitter. We're not calling it X.

Speaker 1 Everybody calls it Twitter still. I know.

Speaker 1 So that's the fucking pronoun joke for the left. Yeah.
You know how pronouns, they're like, my pronouns are

Speaker 1 I love pussy.

Speaker 1 There's like Twitter or X or whatever it's even called these days. That's what they say every single time.
That's funny. The mayor goes, oh.

Speaker 1 All the fucking, they're called skeets too, bro.

Speaker 1 They're called skeets instead of tweets.

Speaker 1 At the skies, they're called skeets. At blue skeets, they're called skeets.

Speaker 1 You're just

Speaker 1 skeeting this shit. Yeah, we got to put out a new cum.
Yeah, they might get me over there. I'd love to skeet all day.
Either skeet or re-skeet. A re-skeet? I swear to God.

Speaker 1 If skeet don't get you, re-skeet. It's all like hinge jokes and then like horrible fucking stuff like before before I get out of here, try to won.

Speaker 1 It's like true socialists. It's just probably just completely deranged.
What do they call it like over there? I don't know. I think it's a like.
A yes. It's a yes.
It's a yes. They gobble it up.

Speaker 1 It's a yes. It's a yes.
Yeah, you get yast. You yas people's jizz.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 Nice jizz. I never thought of it that way.

Speaker 1 They hate that chick Nancy Mace on there, though. Did you see that?

Speaker 1 I love her, dude. Yeah.
She just reminds me of my mom. What was Nancy Mace doing? She's pissed about.
She's pissed because there's a fucking tranny in Congress. It's huge.

Speaker 1 It looks like if Shane had a wig on, bro.

Speaker 1 They're like, dude, fuck that. You can't come in the bathroom.
Why not?

Speaker 1 What? It's crazy. But they all want to kill Nancy Mace because she's like, dude, I don't want fucking dudes in our bathrooms.
And it's really.

Speaker 1 The videos they make. Like, I saw a video of her rip, because they put up a bunch of like trans flags over the bathroom sign, and she had somebody film her ripping them down.

Speaker 1 So literally, they're all like teachers making TikToks. That's what Congress has become.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, follow me on my day as a Congresswoman. This is what I wear.

Speaker 1 And then I signed a bill. I make no sense.
Then I had to have the mocho latte. We are at war.
That's it's fun. That's we haven't addressed the homeless situation.

Speaker 1 So she was like, watch this and just rip down the flag. Damn.
Yeah, their days are numbered, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's. Chicks are about to start rising up against the trans.

Speaker 1 That's also going to be one of the great battles, like the Titans versus the gods.

Speaker 1 If the women's rise up against the trans, I'm signing with the trans. Are you serious? Yeah, that would be hilarious.
That would be very funny. See a bunch of dudes roll some shit out of women.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's going to be a lot of covert psychic warfare.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a lot of relational just kind of walk in and be like,

Speaker 1 nice shoes.

Speaker 1 Imagine it's barged into a chick's bathroom, especially a locker room. The thing about this, it probably doesn't work on them.
They probably try to hit the T's with like what would hurt a woman. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your shoes look shitty. Yeah.
It's just a guy going like,

Speaker 1 I don't give a fuck. I'm sneaking into the bathroom.

Speaker 1 I got these for 12 bucks down at the Ross.

Speaker 1 How comfortable is that? Wearing cell phone clips on their belts.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Shirt tucked into huge tits.

Speaker 1 You think it was just a giant dump?

Speaker 1 Pull up. Pull up.
Do you think there was the moment when, like, she was at the congresswoman was sitting there, and it was just like a full, like, oh, it's a giant dump. And that's it.

Speaker 1 This is my one place of peace.

Speaker 1 Taking like a 6'3 dude airport dump.

Speaker 1 Just a giant.

Speaker 1 I'd get political either.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, all right, this is enough. That is exposing them, too, because they hate shitting around dudes.
Oh, yeah. That might be fucking the number one problem.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, Well, they want to say, that's an intimate thing they want to say for their husband or boyfriend.
LeMay, how do you feel about all this bigotry?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I'm starting to join the view here. I'm a little uncomfortable about what the McCusker brothers have done, and I have nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 Join the view.

Speaker 1 I might pull up a chair.

Speaker 1 That show has to go on forever. I hope it never stops.
It's getting better. Is it really? It's crazy.
Turn it on. It's fucking hilarious.
I only see the clips.

Speaker 1 They're spazzing all fucking all day.

Speaker 1 Watching dresses like she's from like the Galactic Federation. It's fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 I like whoopee on there. Whoopie's the voice.
Whoopee's the voice of reason on the view.

Speaker 1 I saw your wandering ass eyes. You fucking liberal.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 That's some respect. Come on, man.
Me and Billy were talking the other day.

Speaker 1 You have a little respect. Me and Billy have come to the agreement that if you're an atheist, you're a pervert.
It's just by default. It's just fucking, it's just masochism.

Speaker 1 You're just taking a a belief system, like, oh, yeah, I'm so fucking alone in this universe.

Speaker 1 It's a perverted stuff. It's a cop-out.
It is a total cop-out. It's fake, big boy.
I don't have a boss, like, yes, you do, brother. Yes, you do, bro.
G-O-D. Yep.

Speaker 1 Save that bull crap for blue ski, dude. You're going blue ski.
You're going blue ski.

Speaker 1 God's not even real. My fucking dad won't fucking talk to me.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Matt, I'm constantly looking for car keys, phone, chapstick, glasses, headphones.
There you go. And I lose them all the time.

Speaker 1 That's why I use wired headphones now. Ooh.

Speaker 1 What's the longest time you spent looking for something? I usually give up pretty quick. Yeah, true.
Someone I have a hard time shopping for. I have a tough time finding LeMer gifts.
Really?

Speaker 1 And I like to spoil them.

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Speaker 1 I told my dad to take down his Trump sign. I got kicked out of Thanksgiving.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving, brother.

Speaker 1 My parents are like kind of like, they were like, they're asking me, did you put up a Trump sign? I was like, no, I didn't put one up on my wall.

Speaker 1 They kind of looked at me like, bitch.

Speaker 1 And they're like, we had four. I'm like, all right, dude, four.
I didn't want to do that. I did get to watch a guy collect his signs.
Oh, on the way to, I was on the way to

Speaker 1 tires and on my way to work, and I got to watch a guy in the morning, morning after the election, picking up his

Speaker 1 Kamal Harris signs. Their combos.
It was

Speaker 1 really fun to watch. I'm going to put up a combala forever.
It was so funny to watch it. Just to defeat it.
Just a guy picking up.

Speaker 1 And he was one of those guys that had like 90 in his front yard. Yeah.
And he just had to go out there at 8 a.m. How many did you pass one?

Speaker 1 You put on?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you probably had a couple outside. This place was damned out.
This is Blueski headquarters while you're at the bottom.

Speaker 1 That might be Blue Ski headquarters back there.

Speaker 1 Are you the king of Blue Ski? Dude, I had a Colin all red up there oh my god it's all

Speaker 1 what happened nothing i'm sorry hold on no

Speaker 1 what did you say there's another guy running a named colin all red and uh

Speaker 1 what was his deal i don't know is he a local was he a local dem just a local dim yeah

Speaker 1 what did you like about him other than just that he was a dem i liked his name as all red all right true that's good enough did i tell you i got to vote this year for the first time nice how'd it go it was kind of swell yeah you don't it was kind of fun yeah i went in there it was uh dude everyone sits in a a voting place, very like

Speaker 1 it's like you would think, for real, they were like all like rescuing babies. Everyone has like a face.
They look at each other and go, Doing a civic duty. They're nodding at me.

Speaker 1 I said, hold on, brother. I also, to be fair, on the you know, there's like the main thing, the big election, big vote.
And then you have like, do like a million tiny votes.

Speaker 1 And there I got, I just started just throwing them to whoever. Yeah, just going bing, bang, bing, bang, bing, bing, bang.
Bing bang, bing.

Speaker 1 Anyone in like the court, I'd be like, Democrat, just in case I fuck around, get in trouble for something.

Speaker 1 I want to get a little little catch and release action. We need the big one, go to.
We also need to go.

Speaker 1 I won't say.

Speaker 1 I won't say. If we're going to sit here and cross the libs,

Speaker 1 we have owned the libs for the first however many minutes of this podcast. We've been owning the libs.
We have. It's time to focus on the right a little.
What are they up to?

Speaker 1 There's a lot of pedophiles. What? They're all pedophiles.
Are they really? Yeah, every single one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 did you say this before? I'm trying to think if I heard this from you.

Speaker 1 Literally, it's not funny. Have you talked about this before? I was like,

Speaker 1 has anyone ever talked about how michael jackson became so successful he became a white pedophile he's not a pedophile relax he's not a pedophile he is not this is the true conspiracy theorist you call everyone that is not a pedophile a pedophile yeah

Speaker 1 the king of pop dude bro he is not do you think he was like single the out shmooley had something to do with it candace owings came out and said that what yeah he was not a pedophile i don't i at least i don't think so hold up there's all sorts of shit where like the one dude, the first dude that accused him, the kid, the mom and dad, like, liked him or whatever, but then the, the, their mom and stepdad liked MJ, and that kid would chill there, and then the fucking dad was like, well, you're at whose house?

Speaker 1 Fuck that, and fucking sued him and got the money and shit. And then it just kept happening.
That boy was. Bro, the dad was like, you're at Michael Jackson's house.
I'm suing him for

Speaker 1 pedophile? Yeah, the dude's a scumbag. I'm suing you for pedophile.
I'm taking it. Dude, I swear to God, I think he got set up, and then I think he got killed for his record shit.

Speaker 1 There's this whole thing where it's like apparently, he owned a bunch of stuff in vacation.

Speaker 1 I've heard that.

Speaker 1 I heard he owned stuff in, yeah. What are they saying on the blue skies? They're saying,

Speaker 1 I heard he owned like a piece of sandals. That's I've heard that before.
They killed him for the sandals, the resorts, yeah, yeah. MJ owned the resorts.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, I think he had in one of those giant companies. He had a huge stake.

Speaker 1 I thought he owned a little bit of the Beatles. He did.
Yeah, and I thought that's what they did. One of the best bands of all time.
He owned the Beatles.

Speaker 1 I get it.

Speaker 1 Not so tough now.

Speaker 1 I'm just keep defending Drake. That's all it was about.
It wasn't about none of them. Drake is number one, dude.
Yeah, they're going. Now I'm a pedophile.
I said it. I said it.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Drake's a visionary, dude. He was totally right.
Kendrick is, I don't know why he's so anti-comedy, dude. He's totally cross-hit.
He's anti-comedy, dude.

Speaker 1 And there's one thing I hate is when comedians get censored.

Speaker 1 They are the canaries and the coal mine. The canaries and the coal mine.
A lot of Nick philosophers.

Speaker 1 Someone was telling me, I think Pedro was telling me I should keep tape on my mouth until I go out on stage and then go. Yeah, yeah, just write society on tape.

Speaker 1 Say, say something nuts. I was holding that one in.
What? No, I'm just saying, just oh,

Speaker 1 just something horrendous. Something.

Speaker 1 Ajax was listening to a book for a while. He would post on Instagram of just a dude with duct tape over his mouth and just said society on the duct tape.
Sick. Damn.

Speaker 1 Remember Tommy Simbazzo's headshot? Yeah. At McGoobies.
He had the caution tape and the fucking microphone is a gun.

Speaker 1 That sucks.

Speaker 1 The caution tape. That's fucking fucking sick.
Dude. I think it was Simba.
I didn't mean to name the man. He was the man.

Speaker 1 Michael Jackson got killed by Sony. Yeah.
What? Oh, so it was over the Beatles' music. Yeah.
Not the Beatles' music.

Speaker 1 That went back to Paul McCartney, but he got killed by Sony because they were supposed to do a tour and they'd make more money off the insurance if they killed him.

Speaker 1 There's a whole thing in the music industry with that. Also, P.
Diddy did bodyguard was at MJ's fucking

Speaker 1 hospital when he died. P.
Diddy's bodyguard? Yeah, the nutty like Ray Donovan Muslim dude that P. Diddy had was at Michael Jackson's hospital when he died.

Speaker 1 But there's a whole thing, there's a documentary about it where like once they're done with you and your record sales start dying off, they own insurance on you and they get double paid for killing you and your shit skyrockets and they get all the money.

Speaker 1 Damn. So they get a lot, they have an insurance policy on the artist.
And when they kill the artist, they get the insurance policy because he fucking dies.

Speaker 1 And then their sale, like, look at Prince's sales go through the fucking roof. They take all of it.
Shit. Many, many cases.
Is that what the the sacrifice is all about? Part of it.

Speaker 1 When you're evil, bro, wants to sacrifice you. Quick announcement for Irvine, California, or really all of SoCal.
You guys know I'm SoCal as hell. I've been SoCal.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I'll be at the Irvine Improv. 1129.
That's this upcoming weekend.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess next weekend, whatever. 1129 and 1130th.
And I've also added a show on

Speaker 1 1131 or 12.1. 12-1.
I'm not sure how many days are in November, but you get the point. Next Friday, next Saturday, next Sunday, I'll be in Irvine, California.

Speaker 1 And let me just say for the record, fuck L.A., dude. It's all about Irvine.
I'm sick of people from L.A. being like, oh, you're going to Irvine? I'd never go down.
Fuck you, dude. Shut up.

Speaker 1 Irvine's where all the reels are. Not a bunch of pretenders out in L.A.
I'm going to be a famous actor. No, you're fucking not.
Grow up and move to Irvine. I'll see you there.
God bless you all.

Speaker 2 Pardon the interruption. This may or may not be Sean Gardini speaking.
And this may or may not be Sean Gardini.

Speaker 1 on camera.

Speaker 2 Who is speaking and who is on camera is not important. I've come to tell you that Sean Gardini is doing stand-up comedy shows.

Speaker 2 The upcoming shows are in Cleveland, Ohio, December 8th, Buffalo, New York, December 10th, and Baltimore, Maryland, December 11th. Please come to those shows if you can.

Speaker 2 The tickets are at SeanGardini.com.

Speaker 1 Thank you. And we're back.
Hey.

Speaker 1 Okay, so MJ, not a pedophile. I'm not afraid.

Speaker 1 Everybody. So you're saying MJ's not a pedophile.
You're ruling. Pedophile, not a pedophile.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's a pedophile. Okay.
Now do Donald Trump. Donald Trump, because I looked into all the fucking Republican.
I'm Blue Anon now. Yes.
I'm liberal. I watch a video with Lemaire.

Speaker 1 Simple yes or no? It's hard to say because

Speaker 1 if he was a pedophile, they would have got him on it by now. Simple.
That's the only thing that fucks me up. What do you think about the tape? What do you think about the tape that came out last

Speaker 1 end where it was like the audio of like him and Epstein? Epstein. It it wasn't him and Epstein, it was Epstein, this dude wolf.
So, why were they trying to try Trump? Simple yes or no?

Speaker 1 It's hard to say. That's what I'm saying.
The jury's out. I'm not, he's not my savior.
It's the internet, dude. Just say something sensational.
We'll capitalize it. Simple yes or no.

Speaker 1 At this point, I have to say no because they would have gotten a safe. Matt Gates.

Speaker 1 Brother, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. There's all sorts of fucking weird shit about that.
He's fucking allegedly. He likes super allegedly.
Allegedly

Speaker 1 picked on. But he's not Trump's cabinet.
Didn't he resign out of that? What? I heard that if he had stayed.

Speaker 1 I heard that if he stayed in Congress, then they would have released the findings of the ethics things. But since he resigned, now they can't show people whatever they found.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's what I heard. Bro, I don't know.

Speaker 1 At this point, everyone's on fucking notice. Dennis Hassert was a Republican, I think, Speaker of the House forever.
And he was also involved in wrestling, which is fucking weird. So was Jim Jordan.

Speaker 1 There was a pedophile there, but it doesn't matter. Fucking Dennis Hassert was a Speaker of the House forever.
And he was on Epstein's Island. He was friends with Podesta.

Speaker 1 He was like the OG Pizzagate guy where like Hassert was a fucking scumbag pedophile, and no one said a fucking word. So now everybody who's in that fucking thing, they're not my heroes.

Speaker 1 I fucking hate them, and they're all cool with pedophilia because they let that shit go on. Do you have any heroes? No, you.
You're my hero.

Speaker 1 Billy bitch asses. Everyone's always been cool with pedophilia.
It's always been cool. Not me.
What?

Speaker 1 It's always been elite cool. Big pedophile.

Speaker 1 Yes, it has. It's the beginning of the world.
It's a subversion. It's a subversion, bro.

Speaker 1 Historically speaking, LeMerry is right. Like, if you go to like the Middle East, they're dancing boys.
I'm not saying it's great.

Speaker 1 I'm glad we've all elevated up from that. Great men were not pedophiles.
Alexander the Great was not a pedophile. He definitely fucked a boy.
Relax, bro. He fucked a boy.

Speaker 1 I think you actually might have named

Speaker 1 a notable pedophile. No, no, no, no.
He's Alexander the Greatest pedophile. That's all smear, bro.
Yeah, he's cut out.

Speaker 1 It's all smear.

Speaker 1 It could be a smear. They hit that with every fucking great man.
Oh, he's a fucking pedophile. MJ, pedophile.
It's a holes of Memente, dude. Alexander the Great, MJ.
Yeah. Guys like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 LeBron Turns. I think there was a part of ancient LeBron that has not been named pedophile ever.
I just love when he holds books that he doesn't read.

Speaker 1 I can't judge him on that. I was getting into that.
I can't judge. I don't think who are we to judge, dude? Chapter one.
Nailed it.

Speaker 1 I know that book.

Speaker 1 I'm with LeBron turns.

Speaker 1 LeBron.

Speaker 1 The Dems are. No, we got to own the Repubs, dude.
We got got on the Repubs a little, dude.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's going on with them. I know they're like, yeah, they got McMahon in there.
You like that, Le Maire? Vince McMahon is in the... No, Linda.

Speaker 1 Why don't you like that, Le Maire?

Speaker 1 Linda stinks and she divorced Vince. Dude, Vince was wild, dude.
Vince was crazy.

Speaker 1 You guys are wrong, dude. Vince is the man.
Vince wasn't banging wrestlers. Who wasn't? Who would? Dudes, bro.
So what? Wait, he was banging the Divas.

Speaker 1 He wasn't banging the dudes. He was banging some Divas.
He banged the dudes.

Speaker 1 He had the dudes bang with him. Like, he'd have his top guys banging the hot.

Speaker 1 That's just a party, bro. That's not a party, bro.
It's just a party. He's up to some 36 mafia.
Yeah, dude. Dude, here's the thing.
Imagine you have all these giant wrestlers.

Speaker 1 You're going to want to see it. You're going to want to see how they take down China.
Yeah, you're going to want to see it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, break down the walls. He just took his toys out of the toy box.
He took his toys out of the toy box. I should have shown the Destiny chats at leaked, bro.
They're so good. What happened?

Speaker 1 He's talking about having a butt plug in and thinking about sucking dudes. That's literally a quote.
Who does Jesse's talking this cheap like

Speaker 1 a butt plug? This is so intense.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 If he was joking, that might be the funniest thing in the world, dude. Yeah, dude.
What if he was being funny? If he was joking, that's hilarious.

Speaker 1 If he's being funny, if you're being funny, that's the funniest thing in the world.

Speaker 1 Like, oof, this is intense. That just sounds too real.

Speaker 1 Mad dude, chicks walk around with that shit in your ass, bro. Butt plugs? Yeah.
That'd be sick to sit down in a political debate and just be plugged up.

Speaker 1 I disagree, actually.

Speaker 1 Tokens. I'm not going to judge a man for wearing a butt plug.
It is intense, I bet.

Speaker 1 He's not a liar.

Speaker 1 You can say a lot about him. He's not a liar.
He's telling the truth on this.

Speaker 1 That's an absolute truth. He's definitely telling the truth.

Speaker 1 It is funny to wear one and act like it's like a medical, like an insulin detector. Like, hold on, my fucking butt plug.
Yeah, I gotta check the app. Give me a second.
I need to board the plane first.

Speaker 1 My butt plugs go crazy right now.

Speaker 1 I need to do a medical pre-port. I need an orange juice.
What percent of people do you think are walking around with butt plugs in day to day?

Speaker 1 You think it's 10? 10%.

Speaker 1 10% is crazy. 10% is way too much.
No way. All day.
I think it's a signal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Chicks do it supposedly to prepare for anal sex later in the night.

Speaker 1 And then you got

Speaker 1 gay dudes with X there every day.

Speaker 1 That's why I prepare for anal later in the night. If you wear it all day, it's intense.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You think you would just like, you would be crazy in the night

Speaker 1 when you do deviant shit like that. It'd be nice.

Speaker 1 Uncorking yourself and take a dump. That would be nice, brother.

Speaker 1 Dude, popping the cork to dump out. Putting it in all day? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You ever take a dump that almost comes out sideways and it hurts? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm talking about? Not sideways, but I've had it. Or just like a fucking big, a big fucker.

Speaker 1 You've like a breach, definitely. It hurts.
Wait, in your mind, you think it's because it's gone. No, no, no.
That's what it feels like. You know what I mean? It's like a piece on Tetris.
Just

Speaker 1 have a long time. It's not a long way.
You get a square. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, I've gotten split before. I've gotten for real like split one time.
Yeah, for sure. It hurts, bro.
You split open. Yeah, yeah, it's split open.
You shower before bed. You wake up.

Speaker 1 You got a dry butt.

Speaker 1 You got a dry asshole prime for the crackling.

Speaker 1 And you drop a fucking square.

Speaker 1 A Tetris cube.

Speaker 1 You drop a cube. You go, where the fuck am I going to put this?

Speaker 1 You drop it next to four straight logs and go, yes.

Speaker 1 Tetris.

Speaker 1 I just got my shit's been out. Happened the other day.
Huh? Happened me the other day. For real?

Speaker 1 It was intense. Yeah.
It was intense.

Speaker 1 You could have been more diligent and wore the plug. He's probably just getting ready for fat turds.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's probably getting ready for the fattest turds. Supposedly, he enjoys cock holding.

Speaker 1 Cock holding? What is that? Cock holding? Cock holding? Cock holding. My fucking girlfriend's dad forever just called it cock holding.
I thought you were feeling cockholding.

Speaker 1 He's a dude who just sits here and holds his cock. See, that guy's a cock hold.
That's what I was imagining. I was like, is that a thing where you just hold someone's dick for a while? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Follow them around. It's just his version of cuck.

Speaker 1 I can see subbing out and just holding someone's dog for like, excuse me, putting a little leash on it.

Speaker 1 Dude, Tom was telling me there's a new movie out about

Speaker 1 Nicole Kidman getting dommed.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Spade was telling me about that.

Speaker 1 Just her getting, she's a power business woman, and like an intern comes in and is like, get on the floor. And just, it's like a new 50 Shades of Gray type.

Speaker 1 Just her getting domed.

Speaker 1 That'd be nice to see. Take your babe and go see Nicole Kidman.
Yeah, and I loved her. Oh, I got.
I got this.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. I don't know if I should say it.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Society.

Speaker 1 All right. I'll say it.
Whatever. Ah, this is a tough one.
This is exposing. It's bad.
No, I just. All right.

Speaker 1 So we're watching.

Speaker 1 I'm with my parents. We're watching No Dame football.

Speaker 1 My dad pulls out a butt plug. My dad's butt plug started by.
No. It's worse.
No, no. It's worse.

Speaker 1 So we're watching No Dame.

Speaker 1 I went back home to chill with the boy. My father's got to be sober watching football, and it's

Speaker 1 tough to watch, man. Prayer's just white-knuckling the fuck up.

Speaker 1 He's white-knuckling NFL Sunday.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Makes the celebrations hurt more.

Speaker 1 Notre Dame's playing, and a guy makes a play. His name's Christian Gray.
He plays for Notre Dame. My mom goes, Where do I know that name? Oh, no.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? She's like, It's in a book. And I was like,

Speaker 1 I don't know what book it is. She's like, oh, I know.
And that was quiet. And I was like, what? What are you talking about? 50 Shades of Gray.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Disgusting. I know exactly as soon as you said that.
And then my other sister's there, and she's like, yeah, mom read like fucking five of those. They all do.
And I was like, ew.

Speaker 1 And then she goes, yeah. And then she gave him to Katie when she was done.
And I was like, dude, that's fucking disgusting. That's like training a porn magic.
Exactly. That's what I said.

Speaker 1 They all watched it. That's fucking disgusting.
Most women are addicted to erotic literature.

Speaker 1 It's about your mom fucking. Damn, she has them on like top of the VCR, like at your dad's high voice.
You can find where the bookmark was. You go, oh, that's where she finished.

Speaker 1 And then tossing it to your other sister being like, yo, get her fired up.

Speaker 1 Are they on Audible? Oh, yeah. Did you ever see that guy on Instagram who blasts? 50 Shades Audible.

Speaker 1 There's a guy on Instagram who blasts 50 Shades and goes through drive-thrus. It's pretty fucking funny.
You see a guy and then he grabbed my ass and you see a guy like handy fries like

Speaker 1 I thought that was more of a bombshell than that. That is hilarious, dude.
It hurt.

Speaker 1 Did you know right away we ruined the first We ruined the whole second half of the game. I just sat there going, You just held your father's hand.
You're like, it's all right, father. Don't worry.

Speaker 1 And my father, he's in poor health. He just had to sit there.
I mean, that should have driven him to alcohol.

Speaker 1 A disgusting wife and daughter. No, all women read that stuff.
It's non-stop. That's like the, there's like the one of the only books that sells.
It's erotic. It's like romance novels.

Speaker 1 And they call them romance novels. And then erotic novels.
Are they the ones with like Fabio on the cover and shit? Yeah, but then you start hitting those. Yeah, you did.

Speaker 1 I'll jerk off to some erotica. Yeah, that's not afraid to explore.
It's feminine. I'm not afraid.
I do have a feminine. What was it? I do have a girl brain.
No,

Speaker 1 you kept calling it like a fuck. There was a word for it.
Oh, my anima? Yeah.

Speaker 1 My anima is well developed.

Speaker 1 We all have an anima. That's so funny to do that.

Speaker 1 Cope with it. I'd be like, my anima is well developed.

Speaker 1 That just means your anima is screaming in the decks. We all have an anima.
What is an anima? It's the feminine in the masculine psyche. And women all have an animus.

Speaker 1 And if you're animus-possessed, my God, watch out. But

Speaker 1 yeah, my anima is totally totally liberated. And it's also, dude, I'm telling you, you know what I'm saying? Yo, you don't know who there's a good guy.
There's a bro I like right now.

Speaker 1 His anima is fully liberated. What? Jerry McCain for the Sixers.
He's a guy doing the fucking TikTok dances. Oh, yeah.
His anima is out. He does not care.
His feminine dude. He's hitting.

Speaker 1 He's dropping 30 and doing TikToks. And everyone's mad, dude.
Painting his nails and shit. So I'm three days into college and two lectures behind me.

Speaker 1 I love this dude so much. So nice to DM him.
He doesn't answer.

Speaker 1 I get drunk and DM him.

Speaker 1 You're the man.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. He's been killing it.
They've been giving him a chance and he's dominating. That's awesome.
He's going to be rookie of the year. He's awesome.
You think so?

Speaker 1 Unless he gets hurt or something. He keeps playing like he's playing.
He's going to be rookie of the year.

Speaker 1 So you and me, we can settle the Kendrick Drake. Obviously, Drake.
Now we can settle Joel Joker.

Speaker 1 It's been settled. It's

Speaker 1 especially in their prime, in their prime, I think Joe was a more skilled basketball player, but he might be. He might be.

Speaker 1 He's not washed.

Speaker 1 He had 35 last time. I know.
I was watching. Yeah, because he got called out, and then everyone was making fun of him.
So he tried. He's not washed.
His knee is. He's got a bum knee.
I hope

Speaker 1 I pray for him. I hope he's.
Bum knees suck. My knee's kind of bum right now.
It's pissing me off. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Pissing me off. How are you skating with a bum knee? Dude, huh? Are you skating with a bummed knee? Oh, is that how you bummed your knee out? No, no, no.
My knee, I actually,

Speaker 1 sorry, we can talk about Joel. I don't make it all about myself.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been skating.

Speaker 1 I was just sleeping wrong. I had like a pillow between my knees, and I think that was really what was fucking it up.
Or lifting. I like took two weeks off.
It's probably lifting. I think so.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think it's a pillow. But as soon as I switched that pillow out, it started to feel better.
How do people receive you at the skate park? Huh? How do people receive you at the skate park?

Speaker 1 Pretty good. At first, I was a little tight, and I was like,

Speaker 1 dude, just going down those little ramps is hard as fuck. And then once I loosened up, I talked to a couple of the broken.
You can't take a tumble. You can be Jay Leno.

Speaker 1 Dude, I can't fall on your side and be totally bruised. Dude,

Speaker 1 luckily, I was all right. I wasn't going that big.
I was just trying to get my feet under me. Dude, I didn't think I'd be that bad.
I was terrible at first. So hard, dude.

Speaker 1 It's so hard, but then I got it down. Now I'm way more comfortable.
Huh? The 180. Yeah, the videos were nice that you sent me.
I was happy about that.

Speaker 1 Oh, the pump track. The pump track's sick.
Dude, for real, I skateboard. You going today? Huh? You going today? I'm going to try.
I'd like to. Oh, fuck.
But, dude, skating is fucking sick, man.

Speaker 1 I did it for two hours one afternoon. Dude, I think I burnt like 850 calories.
It's crazy. That's got to be intense, though, getting it.
If people are there,

Speaker 1 skating people. I was scared.

Speaker 1 I was scared. And then

Speaker 1 once I got there. Dude, you falling at the wind knocked out of you in front of like a family

Speaker 1 by yourself.

Speaker 1 Dude, the skaters are very supportive, dude. Dude, they'll pick you up.
They'll pick you up. They'll figure you're all right.
And when I finally landed the 180, there was a guy who was like sick.

Speaker 1 I tried for an hour and a half to land the 180. That's what it's all about.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw the pop shot bag central. What?

Speaker 1 FDR? Yeah, that's 40 years old. So dude, Tampa checked me.
I was like, dude, what the fuck? What about the Tampa Am? I don't know shit about Tampa. That's Beezerville.
You don't know Tampa Am? No.

Speaker 1 Fucking idiot. Dude, Deezerville.
There is a, it's funny, though, because there are like. Beezer wrote a scooter at the Tampa Am

Speaker 1 Yo, dude,

Speaker 1 I already bladed something crazy at the Tampa Am. Beezer landed a reverse.

Speaker 1 I forget what he said. Rodeo flip.
I forget what it was. It was awesome.
You ever had a ripstick? Oh, Connor hit him with the Kamala. Could land a reverse, whatever, on you at the Tampa Am.

Speaker 1 And he was like, I'd fucking kill that bitch.

Speaker 1 He was hammering talking about the Tampa Am.

Speaker 1 It was funny to do an activity where there was like a child there, too. It was like me.
There's a guy my age, and there's like slightly younger. And there was just one kid there who was like maybe 11.

Speaker 1 My balls was hot. Dude, this 11-year-old kept doing this thing where he would go up the ramp, and then he would just not even worry about skateboarding.

Speaker 1 He would he would try to launch himself as high as he could. It was funny that shit when I was little, dude, it was the funniest fucking thing.
Do you start tapping your skateboard on the rail?

Speaker 1 I didn't tap. I almost tapped one time.
A guy did like a pretty nasty hard flip, and I was like, Let me just chill. I'm not going to tap.
I can't talk skate. I don't know anything about it.
Really?

Speaker 1 All I want to think about is Jared McCain's TikTok.

Speaker 1 That's the only thing that's going on in my brain right now. I can't figure it out.
I fully support him, though. It is nice.

Speaker 1 It's your anima recognizing his liberated anima, and you're going, I loved it when he was a Duke. I was going, I wanted to hate it.
Really? Like the first TikTok I saw, I was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 I watched the whole thing. I was like, huh.

Speaker 1 What else does he have in here? You just watched all. Just hit the orangutan on there.

Speaker 1 I love that gif.

Speaker 1 Come to me. Yeah, it's just me and Deanny been getting it in at night.
Pause.

Speaker 1 What'd you say? Me and Deanny been getting it in at night.

Speaker 1 They hit the duty together. Oh, you guys have been playing duty.
Fridays. You guys have some duty bandits.
Yes. Some late night duty bandits.

Speaker 1 Our girlfriends are asleep. Sean, are you awake?

Speaker 1 No, I don't do that. Sean, are you awake? I do the exact opposite, brother.
Scream.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've played. I hit people in the lobby scream right now, bro.

Speaker 1 And if they can't scream, they're pussy. What? I'll scream all I want.
They scream. I can't, dude.
My fucking kids are asleep. It's a fucking scream, pussy.
Do you run this household? Scream.

Speaker 1 You scream the entire time. I fuck around the whole.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I've played duty with him. He screams the entire fucking time.
Every single time he gets killed. He gets killed 50 times.
That's my rule, and no one follows it. He sprints at everyone with an RPG.

Speaker 1 And he gets killed. He goes, fuck!

Speaker 1 That's my rule. I try to get in the lobby.
I say, anyone on our team, if you get killed, you have to scream like it's real life. It is real life.
That's fun, though, when that happens.

Speaker 1 What time do you play until? When do you call it? Oh, he had a few sessions that were until like 12. Oh, that's not bad.

Speaker 1 He was telling me his session. He's like, if I put in a good session, it's three hours.

Speaker 1 That's a good session. It's child's play.
On duty, it's a whole different session. That's literally child's play.

Speaker 1 I didn't even game today.

Speaker 1 Three hours. I didn't even game.
It's intense on duty, though. I had a day off of work.
I hit the fucking Banner Lord. I charged it back up.
Did you really? 12 hours. How was your realm?

Speaker 1 Blew a fucking vessel in my eye. I was just fucking staring at the screen.
You didn't blink? I didn't blink for a day. Damn, you did a 12-hour session on the Bannerlord? Banner Lord.
It was crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was really fucked up. You play against the computer like a motherfucker.
It was really fucking weird what I did. Staying on Deep Blue.
I'm 28. Because it was three days into college.

Speaker 1 I'm two exhausts behind.

Speaker 1 How's your King Billy? Says he wants to be mine.

Speaker 1 How's the Kingdom? Kingdom's good right now. Does it freeze when you bought it? Does any like commerce? No, it freezes.
Okay, thank God. I could leave it around it for a weekend, just let my caravans

Speaker 1 do their bidding. But what if we got invaded while I was going? True, it'd happen to me.
Is it online?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Just the cops. It's just me sitting in a room playing against the machine.
We had a

Speaker 1 machine. In college.
And there was a kid. We had live, and there was a kid who would just play against the computer and flip and be like, this is how you get better.
Fucking live's cheap.

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That's funny. You get this.

Speaker 1 Spaz last night in Madden. I love it.
You tried to take advantage of me last night in Madden. I fucking rage quit constantly.
Yeah, he tried to take advantage of me. I just exit game.
I was just...

Speaker 1 So you got another pick. I was like, exit game.
Done. I'm done playing.
Spaz. Exit As fast as it could.
Yeah. It's pretty funny.
People do try to take advantage of you when you're in an Ebre.

Speaker 1 Soda took advantage of me. Did he really? Yeah, he finally beat me in NCAA.

Speaker 1 He's a sober man, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a sober man. He was sharking on you.
He got me at the end of the night, and I was nasty about it. Shane immediately starts saying all sorts of mean shit when you start beating him.
Like what?

Speaker 1 You're the cheapest guy in the fucking game. You're so gay.
You run the same play every fucking time. I mean, that's how you get people to get off the game.
I do the same shit, though. It works.

Speaker 1 Five and out. Five and out.
It is funny, though, having like someone sober, like praying on you, like you pray on a woman, just be like, well, come on, let's go back here. Give one more shot.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come on, man. Come on.
Let's play in Sunday. We're not going to play any games.
I'm just going to hang out. They're not going to play any games.
I'll be Michigan. I'll be in Michigan.

Speaker 1 I know you hate Michigan. Yeah, I hate Michigan.
I'll play against Michigan. I was down like 30 to Soder.
I was like, do you feel good about this?

Speaker 1 And he was like, no, dude, I don't. This sucks.
Let's go to bed. I was like, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 We went to bed. I was like,

Speaker 1 you quit.

Speaker 1 I win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was. Soder, I know I've definitely said it before, but it was making me cry the other day.
Like, I literally was crying, laughing about it because I was telling Jay about it. Because

Speaker 1 when me and Soder played each other,

Speaker 1 he was up like 20, and he was finally going to win. Was this in the stream, you're saying? No, this was after.
Okay. And we're sitting there, and DeRosa comes in and sits next to.

Speaker 1 Soder and is like, Shane's right. Your guys are blocking way better than his.
And he was like, shut the fuck up, DeRosa. And And I came back and he missed an extra point and lost.

Speaker 1 And when he finished, he put his controller down. DeRosa was sitting next to him.
He goes,

Speaker 1 It was the craziest spaz I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 Was he serious? He was totally serious. Damn.
DeSoder goes,

Speaker 1 What the fuck was that?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It was so good.
DeRos was like, geez, man. But DeRos is bitch ass.

Speaker 1 He's like, you wouldn't do that to other people five hours later. It's still going.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 That's such a good expression of a video game spazz.

Speaker 1 That was so funny. Especially from Soder.

Speaker 1 He does it. He hits the hardest video game spazzes of anyone.
So funny, dude. A bunch of table.

Speaker 1 Seriously. I'll fucking.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. So good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can get them, dude. If I lose, I'm

Speaker 1 hit the funniest best.

Speaker 1 I run away.

Speaker 1 You literally run away.

Speaker 1 I got to hide my face, dude.

Speaker 1 You ever see a video of a little black kid losing video games? He starts crying playing the control. He just fucking shakes it.

Speaker 1 It sucks when you lose.

Speaker 1 It does suck so bad. We used to have have losing the computer in Bannerlord after you've been playing for 12 hours.

Speaker 1 And you lose everything. You go, what the fuck did I do today?

Speaker 1 I mean, remember how I played FIFA? I'd play FIFA for a week straight without getting up. I'd get fired.

Speaker 1 I'd get an email in the video game and be like, you're done, dude.

Speaker 1 You got to go outside. That'd be funny to like text, but in the game, but about real life and be like, dude, it's your mom.
What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is this? This is bullshit, dude.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. How come you're not married? The fuck? I'm running.
I'm trying to bring Norwich.

Speaker 1 The prim.

Speaker 1 We used to have an N64 in our unfinished basement. That was fucking scary.
Everyone had an N64 in an unfinished basement. Or not N64.
It was everyone. It's Super Nintendo or any of that.

Speaker 1 But they would all play it.

Speaker 1 Whatever Mortal Kombat was on, maybe a Genesis as well. And I would never be able to play.
And then when everyone was away, I would sneak down. That's nice.

Speaker 1 Someone would catch me, turn the lights off, and I'd be like, fuck.

Speaker 1 It's like good upstairs. That basement was terrifying, dude.
Yeah. It was a cement dungeon.
There were spiders in the little water gaps. There was these big wolf spiders.
That sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wouldn't be caught. Lights out while gaming.
Fed got PS1, though, on a mad one. Like one day, I rolled up in their room and he just had PS1 on TV.
I was like, what the fuck? Cool Borders.

Speaker 1 The best game of all time. Yeah.
It's pretty good. Easily.
I forget. Yeah, Cool Borders one and two was, I think, two might have been better than one.
Three was bullshit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whatever one you could be, the alien was sick. Echo the dolphin on Sega.
You fucked with Echo? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I never got out of the first level. Just sat there.
That's like Sega Tampazo. Sat there for a day.
Just vibed out. Being a dolphin swimmer.
That's so sick, dude. Have you ever played?

Speaker 1 Killing jellyfish with my nose? That's so sick.

Speaker 1 I really don't understand this game.

Speaker 1 Have you ever played The Bully? Yeah. That was a great game.
That game was awesome. What was it? The Bully.
What'd you do? The Rockstar game.

Speaker 1 It was Grand Theft Auto, except you were just a bad kid at a school. Yeah.
It was great. It It was a good game.
Sounds awesome. It was.
I just got Fusion Frenzy.

Speaker 1 Played cool music when you wrote Road Bikes. Do you remember that? Yeah, the fucking game was amazing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fusion Frenzy is sick. I've tried to play it with Bae and she hated it.
We can hit it. I love it.
We can hit Fusion Frenzy. This game sucks.
I was like, it fucking rules.

Speaker 1 When you go in the washer, I love that. Yeah, that's easily one of the best games, actually.

Speaker 1 Xbox controllers were fucking nuts. Original Xbox controllers were fucking mad.

Speaker 1 They're just big chunguses. You had to hold it like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was. That reminds me.
I got somebody made fun of me for that controller on the internet. Personally, it says my name on it.

Speaker 1 Somebody. Would you be proud of yourself? I'm not, that is psychotic.
How's it psychotic? You have a picture of yourself? It was a gift.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what am I going to do? What are you going to rip it off? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would be psychotic. Did you scratch your face off a controller?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to lose a game.

Speaker 1 I don't even deserve this.

Speaker 1 That's like Red Dragon.

Speaker 1 We need to get UFC going. Fuck you.
It's true. been so have you guys been playing at all? I haven't played at all.
I haven't played

Speaker 1 Ooh guard dog. I have

Speaker 1 guard dog speaks heavy. You guys are partying one guard dog's been training.
Yeah, you guys have been out fucking around and guard dog. You didn't tell us he was training.
No,

Speaker 1 just trying to get good. Wait, which one of you guys when are you getting good on the ground in that? Nate.

Speaker 1 Little bitch ass. Why am I bitch ass? That's because

Speaker 1 I think that's how I got you. He never got me.

Speaker 1 He never got me.

Speaker 1 Get fighting my dude. Fuck ground and pound.
There's a new boxing game that's apparently pretty good. It's awesome.
Is it good? It's okay. Yeah.
UFC is the best.

Speaker 1 I can't wait till Logan Paul or Jake Paul comes out with his boxing game.

Speaker 1 It's him, the elderly.

Speaker 1 It's just him knocking out Asians on a subway.

Speaker 1 Sweet, dude. You showed them.
We solved the crime. We know who was doing it all that time.
Jake Paul.

Speaker 1 That was just rocky.

Speaker 1 I think Tyson daddy fucking chilled, though. First round, I was like, fuck, Jake Paul is going to get knocked the fuck out.

Speaker 1 And then Tyson just put the brakes on, started moving

Speaker 1 crazy. I don't think he was so shaky.
That was the thing.

Speaker 1 Like, at first, he was throwing those punches, and there was the thing in the clinch where people, like, you saw Tyson tap his head, and people thought, like, that was Paul being like, yo, chill, or you're not going to get the bag.

Speaker 1 But he was also, he was, like, shaky. Would they be able to withhold the bag if he won? There's no way.

Speaker 1 There was stipulations that if he won, he would be paid less money than if he'd like it. There's, I think,

Speaker 1 there's no way they made that public.

Speaker 1 Check that. That might might be Blueski information.
That might be Blueski Russian disinformation.

Speaker 1 Or just asked, too.

Speaker 1 Jake Paul kind of beat the shit out of Mike Tyson, and nobody's willing to admit that. He could have.

Speaker 1 He could have taken his head off. He could have taken his head off if he had to.
Jake Paul would have killed him if they were fighting. Fighting.
Jake Paul had 70 punches, landed 70.

Speaker 1 Mike Tyson only landed six. Yeah.
It was onk first apart.

Speaker 1 Dude, like,

Speaker 1 I would beat the fuck out of my dad right now. Huh? I would beat the fuck out of my dad in a boxing match.

Speaker 1 Obviously.

Speaker 1 The fact that he didn't get knocked down in the first round is crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, towards the end, that was the one thing. It was honorable that he didn't just take Tyson's head off.
He was going to become an ultimate goblin because he could have knocked him out.

Speaker 1 I think at least he could have knocked out. I just think the code switching they do is fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 The code switching the Paul's do confuses. What do you do? Mike Tyson was in the ring afterwards.
He's like, oh, you're next, Logan Paul. And Logan Paul's like, I kill you, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 It was fucking bad.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, you're from Ohio. Why are you talking?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I feel like

Speaker 1 if you're a YouTuber for that long, I think you're allowed to. What? After like 10 years of being like a YouTuber, you can just say you can talk however you want.
Yeah, it's fucking

Speaker 1 like Puerto Ricans in New York. Exactly.
There you go. Your grandfather day.

Speaker 1 Filipinos in L.A.

Speaker 1 Okay. It grabs the algorithm.
Grabs the algorithm. Maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that might just be the best fucking

Speaker 1 algorithm. Jake Paul would fuck you up, dude.
Dude, I have a gun, he can fight all he wants.

Speaker 1 Shut up, oh, you're a black belt jiu-jitsu, yoink,

Speaker 1 dead, pull that thing out. Oh, you're a karate master,

Speaker 1 you're gonna kill someone in cold blood. There's no reason

Speaker 1 you can sit there all day long and fucking fight all you want, you're just gonna get neck kinks and shit. It sucks,

Speaker 1 yeah. But say you want

Speaker 1 to work out, you want to wrestle, you're gonna be hurt all here's the thing: say you're at a bar, people start acting up, and you get the fucking

Speaker 1 everyone in front of your your babe. You get the

Speaker 1 stop, dude. Dude, fuck off.
I will say, killing so much jiu-jitsu at a bar seems kind of fucking lame. That's the whole point of it.
Like on the ground rolling with a guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just choke him. You go, just tap, dude.
Just tap. Just tap, bro.
You're going to stop it. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 I don't want to do this. I've been looking forward to this secretly my whole life.
I don't want to do this. Get somebody in a triangle.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Get an armbar on the ground, and then his friend comes up and just goes,

Speaker 1 right on your face while you're like kicks you in the fucking head.

Speaker 1 But then your jits bros are going to be there to be like, but but then your jits bros will i'm lucky i don't have my fucking geek the jits the jits bros at the fucking mothership would go nuts they would every single fucking security guy in there is like a yeah dude mutant yes i was at i was at

Speaker 1 a gun if a homeless guy

Speaker 1 one of the homeless from sixth street comes in there he's getting every limb broken

Speaker 1 he's getting

Speaker 1 like william wallace and fucking brave heart

Speaker 1 10 fucking jiu-jitsu dudes

Speaker 1 there was for real a giant one in the little boy room there was this giant man who was being a problem. And I watched three of the bouncers just like, this guy was huge, dude.

Speaker 1 It was like, I was like, fuck, I would be terrified to fight this guy. And there was like two or three of them looked at each other like, it's go time.

Speaker 1 And I was like, damn, these dudes are not fucking. I would have been like, I'm not touching this fucking guy.
He was

Speaker 1 massive. They got him up and like walked him out of the room.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 yeah, they were ready. Dude, they were like, they were like gearing up.
And I was like, dude, this is kind of scary. You guys are the real deal.
He was huge. Dude, dude, what? The mothership guys?

Speaker 1 Yeah. They're all like 10th planet or whatever.
They're all like the best in the world. Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 You could tell they were kind of like looked at each other like we might, if we have to fight this guy, too. Those make you feel kind of fucking gay as a comedian.
What? Like, yeah.

Speaker 1 See the security guard, like, they're like troops. You walk up to him, you're like, hey, man.
Yeah, you feel, you feel like an audience. I mean, I have a big day.
I have to do comedy.

Speaker 1 I got this new joke. I'm like, dude, when I was there last time, the dude said, what's up to me? Which one? I don't know.
The security guards. Listen to the fucking.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're fucking definitely taps. Brother.
Yeah. Real man.
They're good, bros. That's why I'm friends with the jiu-jitsu guys, but if they ever rise up, up,

Speaker 1 stop. You're good, James Bond.
Get off my leg.

Speaker 1 Shoot them right in the back. Fuck off my leg.

Speaker 1 You think they let you practice in the studio, like, pulling out on them? Just all the wrestling?

Speaker 1 Yeah, obviously pause. Obviously, pause.

Speaker 1 No, they train for fucking dudes with guns. Do they?

Speaker 1 You know those things you punch? Like the... What are those things? Oh, the jackass.
Yeah, the dogs. They have those holding guns.
Just hit him with one of these. Bet you see this coming.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm never going to tap.

Speaker 1 You can arm bar me.

Speaker 1 Shoot myself in the ass. Now you have to clean up, idiot.
Let me take my butt punches.

Speaker 1 There's dudes who do that. What? There's a fucking gun store near my parents' house where, like, dudes will roll in, buy a gun, be like, thanks.
Where's your bathroom at? Go to the bathroom,

Speaker 1 shoot it. In the bathroom? They try it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're talking about the masks?

Speaker 1 And then they have to clean it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people don't talk about that enough. They just go in, buy a gun, go into the bathroom, done.
You know, I peed myself at that gun range bathroom when I was a little boy. My paw took me shit.

Speaker 1 I was came in recently. I pissed the bed recently.
If you're talking about the same gun place, you pissed the bed recently? Stone Cold Sober. I just had a dream.
I was peeing.

Speaker 1 I was like, what the fuck? Bro, I've been like peeing in dreams and not peeing the bed. It's came here.
Freeze nice. It comes for you.
Huh? At one point, it comes for you. I look.
Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 1 I've done it. And then I got caught too.
You got busted? Because I ran out and took off my boxes and came back in and put a town on the bed and went to see. She's like, What the fuck did you just do?

Speaker 1 I was like, Nothing. She's like, Did you pee? It's like, yes.
I peed my pants. I only peed.
I peed a little bit. It was a tiny little bit.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with pissing your pants.

Speaker 1 Pissed a little bit. LeMay, I know you've pissed your pants recently.

Speaker 1 No, but I fucking, I got drenched. I was sick and I got fucking drenched to bed in sweat.
Yeah, that's just like

Speaker 1 a beeliable dude. I love that, dude.
Waking up with a fever and just being like just soaking wet. I fucking love that shit.

Speaker 1 I actually kind of agree. That is awesome.
Especially you take a nap while you're sick. Wake up, you just ruined the couch.
Yep. Fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Then you get like real, you're hot, you're chilly, and you wake up and you're wet, you're really chilly, and you take off your wet clothes and get calm under the blanket. Yep, break this.

Speaker 1 I love a good rea.

Speaker 1 If you have like a day-long reafest where you're just fucking everything's coming out, I feel like it's good for me. It's awesome.
I do too, but then you get stuck with like a three-day refest.

Speaker 1 A what? A three-day.

Speaker 1 Oh, refest, yeah. That's where the bidet comes in huge.
If you have paper towels on your asshole and you have a fucking refest, it's over. Yo, baby wipes.
No, baby wipes. I'm telling you, dude.

Speaker 1 Tell you clog the toilet. Throw them in the trash can.
That's foul, bro. Throw them in like a cream.

Speaker 1 Put your shitted up baby wipes in the fucking rabbit them up, then you throw something on top of them so no one's easier to get it. Get a shitty little soprano.
Your shitty little secret. Get a bidet.

Speaker 1 Huh? Get a bidet. And also,

Speaker 1 yeah, my kids will turn them on and shoot it everywhere. Put a child lock on it.
Then I'm not going to be able to wipe my goddamn ass with a thing, dude. You probably get one that's on an app.

Speaker 1 Dude, then I got. Well, I already have my phone.
I'm not going to pretend I don't have my phone out while I'm shitting. But I have to look at my phone, dude.
I don't want screen time.

Speaker 1 I have so many fucking things in my house that require me to look at my phone. It's kind of annoying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like none of them ever work. They suck every time.
It's bullshit. There's a bullshit app with every fucking product now.
They're like, you ought to log into this.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, I do it with an ear cleaner. It's so awesome.
What's up? The ear cleaner with the fucking camera. So what? Oh, dude, it's the best.

Speaker 1 It's definitely just selling all your data to some Chinese company, but but you turn it on, it connects to your phone, it has a camera, and you go in there and just scrape out of your wax, dude.

Speaker 1 I took one out where it was literally just like

Speaker 1 a whole thing in my ear, like that got there, got in there, ripped it all. You think the Chinese government's got your wax? They're going absolutely.
There was just some huge data breach with

Speaker 1 China.

Speaker 1 You think they got you on wax? They're like, sir, what do you think about that? He goes, wax on. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got hacked. We got hacked.
We got hacked by China, they hacked our telecoms. What by Boker Corporation?

Speaker 1 Fucking Trump, dude.

Speaker 1 They hacked it probably a couple years ago, and they've been remaining dormant, and they've been collecting information on like a hundred, like four years ago,

Speaker 1 probably before that.

Speaker 1 They hacked our old infrastructure because we have all these back doors so we can spy on people. All right, that's it.
Yeah, that happened.

Speaker 1 I think Joe Biden's son, Hunter, was over there, and he got a diamond from a very rich Chinese man. Little quid pro Joe was over there doing some bad dealing.
Big guy. Really? 10%.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, O'Connor fucking tried to hit me with 10%. He's like, why isn't.
O'Connor owns us, dude.

Speaker 1 Why isn't fucking Biden going to jail? They only refer to him as the big guy. So since they say the big guy can't go to jail, it's like, yeah, they're not naming the guy.

Speaker 1 They're just saying the big guy. Yeah, that was a good argument.

Speaker 1 He had us. At Bonnie.
That's fucking annoying. Yeah.
He was like, well, he would go to jail if he was guilty. Yeah.
That's it. Trump's getting arrested.
Yeah. Because he's guilty.

Speaker 1 Biden's not because he's in the middle. 34K.
Yeah, that never even hit the... That never did arrive.
Do you like Harry Sisson, Dean Withers, and those boys? Who?

Speaker 1 Harry Sisson, Dean Withers, and those boys?

Speaker 1 Democratic kids that like pay content. This will fucking.
Oh, I don't like young Dems. Young Dems are so fucking gay.
There you go.

Speaker 1 You're true Blue Ski.

Speaker 1 Blue, no matter. Put that on Blue Ski.
Fire it up. Where is this video? This video infuriates me.
I feel like like they're just trolling me.

Speaker 1 You can keep talking. No, I want to see what you're talking about.
I'm trying to find it. Can't believe China has your ears waxed.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's the best. You like cleaning your ears? Yeah.
It's very nice. You do it too much.
You can see it.

Speaker 1 I just dug in last night. It was pretty nice.
It's nice. Especially when I'm like, I can go a little bit.
Did you forget about it for a while and then you get in there and you go, holy snipey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you go.

Speaker 1 When you just get an orange Q-tip coming out, you're like, yo, what the fuck? Yeah, you got to hide that.

Speaker 1 At Tripoli sees that. It's really, really really gross.
Yeah, I, yeah, that's the worst one.

Speaker 1 I'll like wipe my ass in the shower with the wet towel, and every now and again, Brittany will peer over the ledge and be like, oh, my God. I'm like, dude, how about you give me some fucking process?

Speaker 1 You have shit on your ass in the shower like that? Sometimes my ass is kind of fucked up. Yeah, if I'm like, I like wiped and I'm like, I'm going to have the showers on that one.
The oil slick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah.
It's like rainbow. It's like rainbowing on the thing.

Speaker 1 Here's the middle cover to it.

Speaker 1 Bring me the dawn. Chronic disease in the United States is increasing is not because of chemicals in the food.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, as Donald Trump takes power and we're all reeling from the fact that this psychopath is going to be in office, some of the most misinformation that we're going to have to fight against together is health-related.

Speaker 3 RFK Jr. is an environmental lawyer, not a doctor.
Listen to the doctors. You know why chronic disease in the United States is rising? It's because of obesity.
Well, Chris, why is obesity going up?

Speaker 1 If the government's doing their job of it, capitalism. Everybody has more money than ever in the most complex, well-put-together society ever on the face of the planet.
Look at where I'm sitting.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting in a vehicle where small explosions in the back will propel me forward to the nearest fucking McDonald's where I can get a meal that's very cultivated. So you say we're too damn rich.

Speaker 1 That's why we have that, we have obesity. And I can do it cheaply and in like fun.
That's a dumb argument.

Speaker 1 I don't know, eat a diet that can be a little bit more difficult. Turn his clown off.

Speaker 1 Turn his fucking clown off.

Speaker 1 That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard in my fucking life.

Speaker 1 Autism, waves of autism are not rising. We're getting a bunch better.

Speaker 1 No, it's not. Yeah.
Also, explosions in cars happen in the engine, not in the muffler, you fucking pussy.

Speaker 1 Could have been a Lamborghini. A Lamborghini.

Speaker 1 True, I didn't know. Yeah, that was crazy.
That kid pissed me the fuck off. That's crazy, babe.
It's not chemicals. It's because we have so much money.

Speaker 1 But I did comment on it and say, thank you so much for saying this. Finally, some sentence.
Dude, you know who I've been getting fired up on Instagram? That whenever there's like

Speaker 1 this lady comes up on my feed and she is a, I believe, a mask, a traditional mask lesbian. Oh.
And she comes on the feed and puts on different fits, and everyone's like, beautiful.

Speaker 1 You're looking, and it's good.

Speaker 1 I only ever give her big ups. I'm always like, fire, fire, fucking outfit.
It's kind of nice. I just gas her up.
You just try to get Finn Dom by someone? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I just, everyone's so fucking mean.

Speaker 1 I've been seeing her. It's like a cringe compilation.
I've been dancing all day, dude. What was that? My algorithm's fucked.
What is it? A lot of guitars. It's pretty clean right now.

Speaker 1 I've gotten into guitars. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 Wet dog. Pretty clean.
I just feel bad. You go on the cringe videos.

Speaker 1 I love that. See what she's up to.

Speaker 1 Love it. What is it?

Speaker 1 Like public Riz videos and shit. They kill me.
Public Riz are nice. Oh, excuse you.
Those Indian Riz videos are nice. What? The Indian Riz videos.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 1 I like the Indian street food gross out compilations. Yeah, just grab a shit.
It's so fucking funny. Huh? They're foul.
Yeah, it's dirty country. It's pretty bad stuff.

Speaker 1 Please like and subscribe to my video. What else is going on, guys? Pretty much that, man.
Dude, I've been doing school visits, like looking at different schools now. Hey,

Speaker 1 dude, I went to one.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking about McCaille, dude. I went to this one school, and it was like,

Speaker 1 you know, it's like kind of like an alternative. They have a different whole different approach of stuff.
And they had like, they're like these trees.

Speaker 1 These are climbing trees with the kids climbing the climbing trees. It's good for their core.
And dude, there's this guy, four people, or like six people on tour. This one dad would go,

Speaker 1 yes. Oh, yes.
Oh, fuck. So important.
They had marbles in the math class. Like, we want to give them a tactile sensory experience along with the math.
And the guy goes,

Speaker 1 I swear to God, he was going, oh, yes. Oh, that's so great.

Speaker 1 I look at Brittany like an Adderall, bro. You think so? Probably.
I don't know. Oh, yeah.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 That's really great.

Speaker 1 It might have been. It might have been.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was Adderall. I don't know what it was.
It was the craziest reaction I've ever heard. I was like, dude,

Speaker 1 what? You get pumped up about shit on Adderall. Yeah, I think it was with the school.
I think it was like everything they'd say. I guess it felt good.
But I totally agree.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's so important. That is so important.
We let the child. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 So good. It was crazy.
I'm convinced that guy had a butt plug in. DIF MIDI, that's my game.
That would have been one of the 10%.

Speaker 1 That's one of the 10%. We are the 10%.

Speaker 1 He was probably covering his tracks. He was probably going,

Speaker 1 oh, yeah, that's so horrible. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 True, his wife might have hit him with surge.

Speaker 1 His wife might have been in the pocketbook going, buzzing him up. Do you watch The New Dune? Huh? New Dune show? No.
It's fucking so good. Saving myself for the movies.

Speaker 1 I've been killing women-written shows. The Penguin.

Speaker 1 The Penguin. Is that women written? The Penguin is so fucking good, dude.
Is it really? It's awesome. You're a hater.
Did you fuck with H-O-D?

Speaker 1 H-O-D? House of Dragons? Nah, I'm going to get back on it. I just, I kind of fell off, honestly.
So you're addicted to powerful heroines?

Speaker 1 No, not necessarily. They're just women writers.
I love wicked. I didn't want, I'm not watching Wicked, but did you see the dolls?

Speaker 1 They fucking put a bunch of dolls out for like Wicked, Barbie, or whatever, and it said wicked.com on the back. And like, that's OG porn shit.

Speaker 1 So all these people are trying to find the dolls going to wicked.com.

Speaker 1 Only to see Jenna Jamison's huge tits.

Speaker 1 That's wicked. That is.
Dude, we went on a. Who's Jenna Jameson married to? Isn't she married to like

Speaker 1 an actor right now or something? I think it's like a.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 I got a guest request through my email, and it was like, and his wife.

Speaker 1 We went to Florida when I was fucking 14, 15. Do you know the computers that used to be in the hotels? Like in the lobby? Yes, the center?

Speaker 1 I would cry. Me and my cousin went over to it, immediately went on Google Images, Jenna Jamieson naked, and then some dude rolled down.

Speaker 1 we bounced yeah the hotel i stayed at willingsport you missed out

Speaker 1 they had a fucking computer in the lobby but that was haunted as bro also gardini that hotel we stayed at in st louis haunted i know dude that one was i actually looked it up and there was like beds moving and shit oh really what yeah it was really haunted looking it was fucking creepy as shit dude i was scared as f really the house i'm in now is This one?

Speaker 1 No, the... Your house is haunted up.
One of Westchester. Oh, yeah.
It's not, though. I don't think it is.

Speaker 1 Nothing's happened. You love the haunt, bro.
He does. You live for the fucking haunt.
You know I love spooky stuff. Did you ever watch a documentary on Hulu? Which one?

Speaker 1 About the dude who had the fucking legit haunted house. Really? He didn't have a haunted house.
He was torturing people.

Speaker 1 Torture people, but you would sign a waiver, and he referred to it as the haunt. If you make it through this, I'll give you $10,000.
He was just torturing it.

Speaker 1 People would get through it and be like, he would shave your one eyebrow. Yeah.
Bury you alive, shave your eyebrow off, pull your tooth out. So he was haunting people, he was giving them the haunt.

Speaker 1 He was literally just torturing people. It was basically like, do you want to live in the movie that Saul?

Speaker 1 He'd lock someone in his fucking house and beat the shit out of them and be like, yeah, you quit, pussy. They like literally bury them alive.
Like, oh, you're tapping. All right.

Speaker 1 Don't get the 10 grand. They would just videotape this and definitely drink.
Like a soldier went through it, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like a Marine go through it and he made it the whole way and he was like, no, I'm not paying you.

Speaker 1 It's pretty. It'd be nice to yank someone out of bed by their ankles.
Dude, like, he did this shit. What? They just call it the, they all called it the haunt.
Is it a documentary now?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's amazing. It's very funny because the people that get tricked by it are also

Speaker 1 ghost heads are a little weird. They're ghost heads.
They're on the internet. They go, holy shit, this is the scariest thing ever.
It's literally just a weird guy beating the shit out of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, this is so spooky.

Speaker 1 It is fucked up, though. He like fucking will try to pull your tooth out and shit.
Yeah, that's crazy, too, to call like your loved ones. Like, it's going great.
My fucking inside.

Speaker 1 You can't call.

Speaker 1 It's like the fucking

Speaker 1 monroe it's literally i was literally gonna say that

Speaker 1 it's pretty much like the haunted like people who are into haunts but for monroe you can't disrupt the haunt yeah

Speaker 1 came all the way here from fucking germany

Speaker 1 i had a spooky dream last night oh no i was on a train they're like do you want to take the seat on the top and i was on the seat above the train

Speaker 1 and i was on the seat

Speaker 1 it just turned out to be like a little swing and i was getting propelled on a train and my little tether kept going further and further eventually i started like swinging around power lines i had to abandon i feel like an astronaut i felt like a astronaut it's sick i had a dream when someone died in my house and i took too long to call the cops and i had to fucking discard of the body what yeah what the we need to get you boys to the monroes we gotta do it with dreams like these i know we had to go back it was i was like dreams like these who needs reality true that true i will say i was like in i was up like probably like 60 feet just holding on to like swing chains being like i could fall the fuck out of here and i'd experienced that terror last night i was like that's up i got enough problems dude i was like i don't need to be propelled like 75 feet in the air wake up and like oh to a kid crying i'm like fuck speaking of tumble have we discussed jay leno's brewski tumble no what happened to him he took a late night he said he was just gonna go eat he's at a hotel he hit a fucking

Speaker 1 restaurant down at the bottom his chin is the hotel okay

Speaker 1 he just fucking damaged the floor i know he went he i think he the whole side of his face

Speaker 1 down a hill to a restaurant oh

Speaker 1 big time brewski Brewski tumble. He's two-faced.
He's already done now.

Speaker 1 The whole side of his body is fucking ruined. He took a geez tumble.
That's not a Bruski tumble. That's a geezer tumble.
A lot of geese tumbler is a little bit more. They're Bruski, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're Bruski tumbles. Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
No, that is a Bruski tumble. You said he was getting hurt before this? He's been getting fucking rocked, dude.
His car exploded.

Speaker 1 His fucking house.

Speaker 1 Jayleno's been getting beat the fuck up.

Speaker 1 What's that movie where the guy has to keep his adrenaline up high? Yeah, he's doing that. What is it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, crank. He's just in the next crank

Speaker 1 he had a car accident go get to that apple beast

Speaker 1 oh

Speaker 1 crank's wild seeing jay leno drunk it would be a kind of exciting but seeing him fall would be

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 far he fell like he fell like 50 feet what he took it was like a princess bride remember that dude falls in that hold up let me see this

Speaker 1 oh i see i saw the face i didn't know what the fuck it was yeah it's a brewski tumble and also he's damn he's taking so many brewski tumbles and car explosions that people are calling him gay. Why?

Speaker 1 Why? Because he keeps getting beat up, and people are like, obviously, this is gay prostitutes. Yeah, this is the Illuminati at work.
No, it's just Brewski tumbles.

Speaker 1 And people are like, this is the devil.

Speaker 1 Getting your ass kicked by a gay prostitute.

Speaker 1 I just watched a gay dude beat someone up on Twitter. It was crazy.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Did he see, like, he stopped on the guy's head like this?

Speaker 1 What? It was fucking crazy. What was this? It was crazy.
This gay dude just beat the shit out of some, his sister's boyfriend. Damn.
he went over his head the guy was talking he's like what'd you say

Speaker 1 oh no and just like stepped back over him like this and just stood over him the whole time it was fucking wild the gay guy beat his ass yeah dude

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 that sucks yeah you got to just fold it up after that and become like a priest when you pull it out pause the gun yeah right

Speaker 1 or submit fully and pull it out that's what i'm saying i've been wearing a button

Speaker 1 all day Fine, I'm yours now.

Speaker 1 You've defeated me in hand-to-hand combat. I am yours.
Will you have me?

Speaker 1 Jonah Jameson is married to a lady. For what? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just when I thought I was at. Okay.

Speaker 1 She pulls me right back in.

Speaker 1 She hates Bill Maher, bro. Who? Janet Jameson.
Janet Jameson hates Bill Maher. Hates him.
Who gives a fuck? Said he's a piece of shit. Why? Just said he's a fucking piece of shit.
Why?

Speaker 1 Known for the Playboy match and Kid Love Productions. That's the company's name.

Speaker 1 That is Productions. That is the company's name.
I've heard that before. Is what it is.
Kid Love Productions. That's a fair question.
What's Shannon Sharp's podcast? Club Shayshay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was thinking Club Random, Club Shay Shay. Yeah, two different fucking clubs, dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you see he had the Hawktua girl on?

Speaker 1 I saw Bill Morrison.

Speaker 1 You believe it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, there's another slap. The Tyson slap took over the fucking Will Smith slap.
Nah, dude, don't even know where he is. Yeah, no, it was Will Smith's slap, it was way broke, it was huge.

Speaker 1 But did you see that? I saw it. I saw it.
I don't know if it was fake or not. I don't know.
I don't know if it was staged. You see, he stepped on his foot.
Yes, it could be real. You never know.

Speaker 1 Tyson hates people. Dude, that was fucking confusing the shit out of me when the that the only like weird shit was when the announcer kept telling Roy Jones Jr., oh no, that's Mike Tyson's tick.

Speaker 1 He like bites his glove and Roy Jones like, no, he doesn't. Yeah, that was kind of like what the fuck are you talking about? But he's always been doing that.
What's it always been his

Speaker 1 He's always been his love. He's always done that.
Yeah, not that much.

Speaker 1 His trainer taught him. Otto taught him how to do that so he can keep his guard up.
He's always done that a little bit. Oh, there you go.
Yeah. Who the fuck is out? Cussamato.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Otto.

Speaker 1 Damado.

Speaker 1 I had my head off like that.

Speaker 1 That must have been one of his later trainers.

Speaker 1 I said, Otto. I mean, I corrected you and I was wrong.
So

Speaker 1 now I need to go to Blue Ski.

Speaker 1 Now we ought to go to the bottom. I was a fucking know-it-all.
I was an incorrect know-it-all. That's where the blue skies.

Speaker 1 when you're an incorrect know-it-all, you head over to blue ski. Take your pills and go on blue ski.
Guys, think about it. Our cars run on fuel and they propel us forward for snacks.

Speaker 1 It's capitalism's fault. It's capitalism.
Yeah. He's making me buy all these snacks because I make so much money.

Speaker 1 At the heart of it, he's right that it is capitalism that's putting the chemicals in the food. Yeah.
So, you know what I mean? But he did it wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was an incorrect know-it-all, but they all are, bro.

Speaker 1 They thought they were going to take over. Sissons, withers, and all those boys.

Speaker 1 They're white dudes. They were the young white boys for Harris, and they fucking folded.
Like, we let women down.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, not every woman wants to be able to do it. Dude, women got fucking completely psy-upped into thinking that they were going to be like shot in the head by a doctor during birth.

Speaker 1 I don't. Dude, they're for real.
Like, if I have a, there's, it's called a, um, I don't know why they throw black dudes in with deportation.

Speaker 1 Like, they're going to deport the immigrants and the blacks. It's like, why?

Speaker 1 How are they getting roped into this? You guys got roped in on the fucking gay pride flag, and I'm sorry about that. Yeah.
that's a tough L. Wait, are we on the flag?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right next to the trannies on the gay pride flag because there's two stripes in the flag now. Black and brown, bro.
He should be spazzing. That's like, yeah, you let it happen.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm leading the charge on that. Although, that gay dude's this.
The gay dude that beat that guy up put you guys. Yeah, that stripes on the flag now.
He belongs on there. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that guy rules. He's the strongest person on the flag.

Speaker 1 That happened during COVID. What, that fight? No, no, no.
You guys got put on the flag during COVID.

Speaker 1 They did.

Speaker 1 Congress passed it a pandemic.

Speaker 1 I don't think they let us know that. I think everybody else knows that.
I don't think black people know we're on the yeah if you go in the gay broad in Philly, it's on the street signs.

Speaker 1 I thought that was like for you said brown blood. No, brown and black.
Oh, I thought you said brown blood. I thought it was like a blood shit asshole thing.
Yeah. White guys aren't on it.

Speaker 1 All those gay sex stuff. Damn, be sick to be a gay racist and just rip off the

Speaker 1 tan and black.

Speaker 1 Gay racist stuff. No.

Speaker 1 yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Not getting but yeah, dude, they tricked women into thinking that, like, if you, it's an ectopic pregnancy, is when you get an egg in the fallopian tubes, and like, dude, there was a lot of like, a lot of like Britney's friends were like, be careful down there.

Speaker 1 And, like, we looked it up, and it's like, none of it's true. Obviously, like, if you're dying, the doctor won't save you.
It's like, not true. None of it's true.

Speaker 1 You're going to get a bonus this year. If you get pregnant, all your dreams won't come true.

Speaker 1 No, for real. It was like, you're going to die.

Speaker 1 Nasty little drugs. If you have a a miscarriage, you're like, if you have a miscarriage, they're not going to be able to do it.
It's going to just stay in your pussy until your body and rot.

Speaker 1 It's like, I was like, that can't be true. And I looked it up.
I was like, none of it is true. Even in like Texas.
Yeah, all those soy boys were hitting like, we've let women down today.

Speaker 1 My daughter, it's like, dude, why are you so worried about your daughter getting fucking pregnant? My wife's going to get fucking killed during a C-section, no.

Speaker 1 The man's blue no matter who, bro. He doesn't care what they're talking about.
Do you feel like we let women down, though, honestly? No.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 So So, what are you crying about? 2025, though. I do.
That's all bullshit. It has nothing to do with Trump.

Speaker 1 Brother, they already took the porn before it even started. So, they should, dude.
It's all bullshit. That was a Democrat.
No, it wasn't.

Speaker 1 Abbott's Republican? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But, dude. You should.

Speaker 1 I need to go to Blue Sky. There should be some sort of guardrail.
Although you can't go on any porn site, really. You just can't go on porn.
Oh, yeah, that is the Republicans taking our porn.

Speaker 1 That's fucking weird. I think it's good.

Speaker 1 Why should kids, if you can't go ahead and buy alcohol, why can you, a kid, kid just go look at fucking porn on the internet there should be some stop measure against it yeah you go are you 18 yes or no yes

Speaker 1 of course

Speaker 1 the honest porn kids are gonna do the right thing

Speaker 1 i like it i like the blocks it's good i mean it is kind of convenient when you're sitting down to do something nasty you go what have i

Speaker 1 governor abbott you're right when i hit no fabs dude then i go oh yeah there's other workshops it's a lot of time you say

Speaker 1 sure you can get right around it this don't get me wrong but yeah, I'm not totally against it.

Speaker 1 Think about the 20-minute sessions you hit every now and then where you got a little sweat hitting the phone. You're like, what am I doing? Yeah, dude.
Just sweat.

Speaker 1 Sweats hitting the phone when you jack off.

Speaker 1 You sweat jacking off? Furiously. No.
No, not actually. I sweat under my balls pretty badly.

Speaker 1 Under your tank? And sweat off? I'm so sweaty. I work up a vicious sweat underneath my balls.
Really? Then I get done. How hard are you guys jacking off? I don't think I'm ever sweating.

Speaker 1 I'm just jacking off. Dude, I have like this sweaty.
You're jacking off like a fucking Greek Epirt. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. I'm literally doing exactly that.

Speaker 1 Probably in that seat before. I'm on the turret.

Speaker 1 I get up. I'm in the fucking.

Speaker 1 I'm in the driver's seat, brother.

Speaker 1 Clean ball water. You're fighting something, dude.
You're fighting something if you're sweating, jacking off to that stuff. That is what it is.
There's a battle going on. There's a battle warfare.

Speaker 1 I wish I could search something else, but I would never do it.

Speaker 1 It's the battle for the ultimate vid. You're going, this one's all right, but there's a better one out there.
There's something else.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. I'm so fucking up.
How do you guys feel about this sweat versus not sweating jack off then? The posture. Trying to think of the posture.

Speaker 1 How did you getting it on your phone? Because he jacks off on the toilet. Oh, because you're doing gums on the top.

Speaker 1 Obviously, you're finishing with a self-suck.

Speaker 1 I'm institutionalized, bro. It's just where I beat off my whole life.
For real, though, jacking off on the toilet is a blue ski. No, it's not.
That's what it's called. What?

Speaker 1 Jacking off on the toilet's called a blue ski. Don't do that.

Speaker 1 You do blue skis. That's alpha.
It's kind of

Speaker 1 jizzing on your shit. Yeah.
It's prison shit. It's always flush, bro.
Jizzing off.

Speaker 1 I would feel so bad to jizz on my own shit.

Speaker 1 I've done it before.

Speaker 1 I've jade on a tee. You've jade on a tear? Yeah, yeah.
Aim it right in the toilet. Because it's like, I don't want to, I'm like leaving it there because then I want to preserve some water.

Speaker 1 I don't want to alert the jerk off police if I flush.

Speaker 1 It's like, jerk off police be on you

Speaker 1 so it's like let me get it's two stars that's what i'm saying this is like institutionalized where it's like you can't flush twice in the bathroom so you got to take a shit and jerk off

Speaker 1 childhood i mean dude people bang on the flush dude flushes the journey strong the jrp was on you they'll get your ass dude you had one half of the population watching the other door bang like what are you doing in there nothing

Speaker 1 I was talking about my wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, yeah. But then you were institutionalized.
I was Metal Gear Solid, yeah, before that, Yeah, I was solid snake before that. Guys, we're dropping.

Speaker 1 Ew, yeah, the worst is the cleanup in the toilet. You got to be careful because, like, one flush doesn't take everything down.
They'll hang on the fucking sod paper. They're going to clean it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That's the last thing you want to question, like, what the fuck's going on with the toilet? Be like, huh?

Speaker 1 Huh? You got to check the perimeter, you might miss and hit the sides. This is a whole thing.
It's a big thing, dude.

Speaker 1 It's a major, it's a major operation.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a major operation.
I mean, you had your own room your whole life. Yeah.
Could never do it. True.

Speaker 1 Being in my room would be devilish.

Speaker 1 That would be crazy. I just read a book about a guy in prison.

Speaker 1 He was saying that they used a sock that they would flip inside out so it was like the outer part of the sock, but you would flip that inwards. That was like softer.

Speaker 1 And he said, like, an old school, like an OG dude had been locked up there for a long time.

Speaker 1 It was like you roll the socks together, you hit like the soft part of the sock, and right before you come, you just jack jack up the base or not the bass like underneath the helmet what erotic fiction was this it was just this guy telling me he was like the guy like put me on a game my mom give you this

Speaker 1 he had an older inmate schooled him was like dude if you want to come really hard just jack off

Speaker 1 but then you have to like press the top and he goes dude it's a knee buckler every time

Speaker 1 it was such a weird i just watched 60 days in and everyone in jail is just dumb as

Speaker 1 it's all just a bunch of dumbass dudes i think we tricked him this time he let's smoke weed the guards come and check this out Like, we fooled them.

Speaker 1 It's like they definitely just don't want to do backwards.

Speaker 1 You're just back in eighth grade. I know.
That's what I'm saying. Like,

Speaker 1 every single one. 60 Days In is a crazy show.
I love it. It is good.
Do you ever think about how you'd be in there? I would never, dude. Fuck jail.
Really? I would hate to be.

Speaker 1 I went to the Monroe Institute.

Speaker 1 You have to go to the gun shop and go to the bottom. I went to the Monroe Institute.
No, but what if you're like a political prisoner?

Speaker 1 What if you're like, what if the Dems won and then you had to take back what was your? Oh, I thought about that before I would take the L.

Speaker 1 I would immediately turn on the road to Moscow, put the AirPods in, just wait for the fucking bus to pick me up.

Speaker 1 Crossed over the border.

Speaker 1 Yeah. General Flynn.
I think we've done it. We did it.
Just gotta stretch my knee out. I think we've done it.
I think we done did it. Bill.
Same shoe. Same shoe.

Speaker 1 What is that C on there? It's Blue Ski. For real.

Speaker 1 It's Druski.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is he blue? He's Blue Ski. Druski's Blue Sky.
That's great.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Thank you guys. God bless you guys.

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