Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yeah. Nate Jackson, dude.

Speaker 1 Making it easy for me, bro. You got the name tag on? Yeah.
God damn, dude.

Speaker 1 It's awesome.

Speaker 1 You showed up to work, bro.

Speaker 1 Dude, so I um, I saw your clip, and I think you took it down with the freaky ass little boy.

Speaker 1 Uh, I don't know. I think it's up.
Is it up? I couldn't find it. I was trying to show my wife.
The one that's like air-eaten, yeah, with the kids, like, licking. He just keeps licking.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's still up. I thought it was down because after I watched it, I was like, oh, maybe he has like a, like a tick or something.

Speaker 2 No, he didn't have a tick.

Speaker 1 What was he doing?

Speaker 2 He was just a badass little kid that saw himself on the screen.

Speaker 2 The same thing I would have did if I was a kid.

Speaker 1 The exact same thing. I'm like, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Literally. Yeah, I remember he was with like an older, I guess it was his parents or grandparents.
Grandparents. Yeah, and he was just eating.
It was just like the focus in.

Speaker 1 You're talking to, I think his grandfather, and he just, this little kid started just going

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was pretty funny though either way

Speaker 2 I'm telling you no, I'm I'm doing like two to three

Speaker 1 Oh, so this it got burnt right there

Speaker 2 For sure It's right there People are like they had somebody just randomly decided that he had Tourette's and I was like he super didn't and I before I didn't somebody wrote me they're like

Speaker 2 hey all clips associated with Keaton are perfectly fine to post and I was like wait but who's Keaton They're they're like, the little boy.

Speaker 1 Freaky ass little boy.

Speaker 2 They had to remind me. And I was like, oh, okay, bet.

Speaker 1 Oh, so they got the okay.

Speaker 2 They wrote me. It was like, just so you know, it's okay to use the post.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was fun. I watched it and he was doing his little faces.
But nah, man.

Speaker 1 That's what I thought. I thought he genuinely did have like a tick.

Speaker 2 But have you also seen every other little black kid that sees himself on a screen?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 He got one response and he was like, oh, here we go. He started wigging out.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 Look, he was there. You know, he was there and he was licking the air.
And it did, it did like change because it was, I was watching, like, what the fuck is this kid doing?

Speaker 1 And he was just licking the air. And then once you started talking about him, he started like he was killing.

Speaker 2 That's what was happening.

Speaker 1 He was murdered.

Speaker 2 The motherfucker had timing and everything.

Speaker 2 Every time I had just any little gap or a pause or me taking a breath, he was like,

Speaker 2 let me fill that space.

Speaker 2 And I'm not looking at the screen. I just see the, I see the explosion.
I'm like, what am I missing? I turn around and there he is.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, hell no yeah he was young too man he was

Speaker 2 like five i don't know how white people do that yeah when they bring like a five-year-old out it's like the casino you see the casino literally probably did the origin story of a comic from 2055

Speaker 1 true

Speaker 1 well thanks for coming bro no man thank you for having me appreciate you for coming here um you're you said your

Speaker 2 real bad really

Speaker 2 dog i i've been on the road for hella days i flew i could have been home right now i know dude i really really appreciate it. I left and I came back because I wanted, I'm here for this.

Speaker 2 I didn't think, yeah, I was like, when you were like, other people are like, hey, I'm in Austin for something else. And if I swing through, no, I flew my ass here from a gig to be here to do that.

Speaker 2 I wanted to do this. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 It's a big deal.

Speaker 2 Thank you, man.

Speaker 2 I feel blessed to be here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, we're fucking forging a connection. I feel fucking blessed as hell.
I feel more blessed.

Speaker 2 I'm just fucking as fuck right now.

Speaker 1 Dude, my fucking ass is wet, dude. I'm just going to go the other way.

Speaker 1 See how it happens? Do you see what I'm saying? I know. I actually do get freaky as hell.

Speaker 1 By the way, are you in that, you know, we're just jumping in. How freaky would you say you are? I don't look, I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 There's a spectrum to freakiness, right?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. How freaky are you? I mean, it's really gay is the end of it.
You just get gay at the end. That's gay is the freakiest? Yeah.

Speaker 2 But isn't that a new spectrum, though, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I mean, it's the tip of evolution.

Speaker 2 Straight from like, let's say one to 10. And then when you hit 10.1, now you're gay.

Speaker 1 It's like the evolution moves in a spiral. It just jumps to a whole different.

Speaker 2 But then there's another spectrum of What's when they hit 10.1 on the gay scale, where do they go?

Speaker 1 I think it's when you start like eating women and stuff, like eating their legs. I think once you're done.

Speaker 1 Yes. Like sexual cannibalism.

Speaker 1 Just based on the recent, I just want to know, like, where's baby oil?

Speaker 1 It's like a bullet. It depends what you do with it.
A bullet? You could just give, yeah, like a bullet by themselves or like nothing. It just depends.
Are you shooting somebody? There's jewelry. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right. So it's like, so I think baby oil depends what you're doing.

Speaker 2 Even if you throw it as hard as you can, it's still not going to do anything.

Speaker 1 The bullet, you're saying. Yeah.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 tends, it depends on your intention. So, baby oil, again, you can give you like what else would you throw as hard as you can? Rock, okay.

Speaker 2 I thought you were talking about like your dick or something, but

Speaker 1 so if you throw it, I do throw that as hard as I can to little effect, usually,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 straight, freaky, freaky, freaky, freaky. Watch out, you know, went too far, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 But you can't get back down until the freaky, you can't, once you go over people are doing it, though.

Speaker 1 Milo Yiannopoulos was like a famous gay guy, he's not gay anymore. What? Little Nas X claims he's not gay anymore.
You can't ungay. He sucked the devil's dick, dude.
He did it.

Speaker 2 You can't ungay.

Speaker 1 I don't think you can either, but these guys are doing it and they're making millions.

Speaker 2 Dabbled in gay?

Speaker 1 No. You can't.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you can't go back.

Speaker 2 But white guys kind of really play with that like a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're gay, definitely.

Speaker 1 For sure. Like double checking and white guys.
We got your dick. Like you guys, you guys are doing.

Speaker 1 We have have fun with you guys are wild I will say and this this is actually this could be debatable but I feel like when black guys do become gay they like really quantum leap into like very gay does that make sense uh I don't know I think everyone's channeling the same black auntie that's been my experience Why is a gay person from Austin, Seattle, LA, Chicago, Germany, why do they all sound like yes, bitch?

Speaker 1 Why do they all sound like even gay white guys do it? The white guys do. They'd like jump in on it too, right? Every flight.
Yeah, every flight. Dude, yes, that's true.

Speaker 1 Sugar, can I get you something to drink? Sugar. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you're like, why? Nice, Chad.

Speaker 1 You're a 29-year-old white guy. Why are you talking? What's going on?

Speaker 1 I think they think just from being gay, they get to just take the whole menu and be like, yeah, I'll be a black lady too. I'm gay.
I'm fucking.

Speaker 2 Right, but nobody's like a gay old white auntie. True.
Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Like when they want the razzle dazzle, eat the black auntie.

Speaker 1 They do. Yeah, they don't just like sit at like a kitchen table quietly smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 2 They all sound like Jennifer Lewis.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. That's been a recent development.

Speaker 2 No, it hasn't.

Speaker 1 Really? They've been

Speaker 2 as long as I know. Really? Channeling the same voice.

Speaker 2 Same auntie. Same snaps.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why is that? Really? I don't know, dude. You're from Wisconsin.
Yeah. You guys don't snap? Yeah, that's.

Speaker 2 Unless you're calling cattle or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's, they need to hear about that. They need to stop that.

Speaker 1 If I see that again, if I see that happening I'm gonna be like because I my I'm not like bragging or whatever my wife's black is no big deal, but like she'll get those guys fired up on the airline huge deal

Speaker 1 as far as deals go

Speaker 1 What

Speaker 1 my wife's black no big deal moving on Her hands aren't though on the inside, so that's the part I let her touch me with

Speaker 1 when she sees gay white guys in the airplane She'll be like yeah and they just like she turns them up

Speaker 1 exactly exactly You're just sitting there like, oh my God. She fires them up.
They feed off each other. But I think she's.
So, what are you doing while that's happening?

Speaker 1 I just have my headphones on looking down.

Speaker 1 I tell her, I'm like, yo, stop getting the gays fired up.

Speaker 2 Like, there's an entire Pokemon having an evolution in front of you, and you're not going to watch that.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? I tell her, I'm like, dude, you're getting these guys fired up.

Speaker 1 You don't want to see this? Have you been watching Pokemon? Because that's it. When I was a kid, that's a deep.
Jigglypuff song is a deep cut. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, I know stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm watching Pokemon again right now with my kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's so good, dude. I'm watching with my kids.

Speaker 2 They need to do live action.

Speaker 1 You mean like the live action movie?

Speaker 2 I know they have like the Pikachu movie where it's like an old dude's voice, but I mean, like, why not the battles and stuff?

Speaker 1 Dude, I would love that. Pokemon, it holds up.
I'm re-watching it, and I'm like, this show, I was right. You played the game? Yeah, played on Game Boy.

Speaker 2 No, the one where like you had to catch them in real life on iPhones where people were just like in random fields, where people were getting hit by trains and shit.

Speaker 1 I think so, dude. They also said that was like a spy app.
They were like using that to like see everyone's location.

Speaker 1 Because if you had millions of people playing that, you could be like sweet and zoom in anywhere in the country.

Speaker 2 And what do you do with that information?

Speaker 1 Be Chinese with it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Just do your shit. Just

Speaker 1 squint at a monitor.

Speaker 1 Come on, we know where they all are right now. Everyone in the same place.
Wow.

Speaker 1 He thinks he has a Charizard. Right.

Speaker 2 If we release the Charizard, we can't.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. I guess to like...
What is the point? I don't know.

Speaker 2 That's what I didn't understand about the TikTok stuff either.

Speaker 1 I'm like, the fuck do they want to know about us yeah we could do this all day

Speaker 1 but what

Speaker 1 yeah they tell xiaoping they're like they're doing a soldier boy right our rich aren't on tick tock what do you want i i wonder how dumbest of us have them i guess that gives them ability because that would be almost just too much if you have millions of people and you're trying to like yeah it'd be just a bunch of people like

Speaker 1 so yeah i guess you're right i kind of uh i don't know what they do with that Send you an email? Yeah, or try to like just see what you're up to. But yeah, you'll just be catching Pokemon.

Speaker 1 So I don't get it.

Speaker 1 That's a good point because I hear about that all the time because they say we have more surveillance here in America with ring doorbells and all the private stuff than the whole Chinese government.

Speaker 1 But again, really? Yeah, they're saying, but it's all just privatized.

Speaker 1 Through all the ring doorbells and stuff. That's interesting.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I bet if you had access to all of them, you could go straight.

Speaker 1 Which people could do that. And that could be like you just set it up to where it's like.

Speaker 1 Exactly. And you don't watch it all at once.
But if it's like, hey, I need a C right here, right now, you can be like, go through a bunch of metadata. I'm like, okay, we have all these phones.

Speaker 2 Matter of fact, I saw when

Speaker 2 they tracked like four days of the guys that killed Young Dolph before. They just went back and they had him for like four days.
Like, this is what he was wearing.

Speaker 2 Cape was on the same outfit for like three days.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, all the cities now.

Speaker 2 They use all the ring cameras, like, just tracking every move. Like, they would walk out of frame and then a new camera would pick them up.
Like, they had them tracked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. And then cities have their own grid.
So between the cities grid and the ring doorbells, it's like, you're done.

Speaker 2 What's that show where they let people try to get away now

Speaker 1 you seen that no it's like what do you like they give you like 24 hours like run

Speaker 2 what yeah and you got to like i always wanted to do that you can stay away you get like a million bucks from like the police or like any like the the point of the the show is that they're gonna look for you they're gonna get you wherever and so you think of the place that no one will ever find you and they're like come out What?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we saw you on a ring camera.

Speaker 1 So you can like just ditch your phone, ditch everything, and just hide.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but then you walk by somebody else and you're in the background of a face time video and they got your face or oh geez you run a red light and they're like oh he's going south on so they could and they could just hit up all your loved ones and like investigate you basically and be like yo where where this is here's his 10 likeliest places and it's a tv show like they've made it like people are like Like it's like, this is Dave.

Speaker 2 He's a wilderness expert.

Speaker 2 He's been off-grid for 95 days, the longest known to man. Can he evade for 24 hours? Six minutes in.

Speaker 1 They're like, Dave, get your ass out the truck. And they get him

Speaker 1 around.

Speaker 1 All right, damn. He's just at his aunt's house.
Like, don't let her get me. You got all these MREs.
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 What channel is that on? That sounds awesome.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I can't even find that.

Speaker 1 I always wanted to do, because everyone does like the 5Ks and 3Ks. I wanted to do a

Speaker 1 running race where you could, against like the police department, or you could simulate live-action chases where it's like, all right. I'm going to, we're both going to run out of this deli.

Speaker 1 You got to catch me. And I'm going to try to evade the police.

Speaker 2 They got that. But it's on ESPN.
It's called Tag.

Speaker 1 I've seen that before.

Speaker 2 That's the same shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that's like, you know, get course. I want like uniformed police officers.
I want to like run out of a bank and see if they could catch me.

Speaker 2 Well, you don't got to wait to do that.

Speaker 1 I could do it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be a part of that, but you definitely.

Speaker 2 And yours, actually, yours won't even, it won't even be mortal or anything.

Speaker 1 You think they would let me go?

Speaker 2 I mean, as long as they don't know you got a black wife, you're good.

Speaker 1 True, yeah. Oh, my.
Here's the plot twist. Plot twist used to be a cop.

Speaker 2 See?

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have a little thing. It says officer's boyfriend.

Speaker 1 We weren't married then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. True.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I always wanted to see if I could actually, like, I mean, I ran from when I was little, like, you know, that was like, you can go to the woods and they were, they were beat.

Speaker 2 But, like, okay, what if it wasn't actual cops, though? What if it was like, you know, you just put black shirts on some friends and you're like, all right, this is what we're going to find out today.

Speaker 1 That's the tag game. And that game's cool, too.

Speaker 2 No, but like,

Speaker 2 but it usually used all of downtown. And it's like that's start outside of the door of this joint and how how far of a lead do you want?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want like 10 feet.

Speaker 2 That's I think that's hella think that's too far?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, like yeah, people what if you had a block lead, you're already gone, yeah, but I want like the whole city group. I guess that's kind of a waste of this.

Speaker 1 This is why they get dogs, yeah, true. Oh, yeah, they can drop a dog on you.
Yeah, yeah, I don't want that.

Speaker 2 So no canines, no canines, no, no horses, horses are fine. So, you're you got a horse too? No, they have a horse, and you're on feet, yeah, you're you're you're caught right there.

Speaker 1 Hit the water, hit the water, they're fucked. What water in downtown Austin? Hit the lake,

Speaker 1 I just drowned myself in the river,

Speaker 1 yeah, it's not gonna work. Then, my family gets a million dollars.

Speaker 1 That would be cool if you were in that show and you just jumped off a cliff and your family never find you. Would no one ever find you?

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying that show you're talking about where you, if they don't find you, you get a million bucks, but you kill yourself.

Speaker 2 So, you just jump off of a cliff but they're still gonna find you like this idiot killed himself

Speaker 1 corpse yeah you'd have to like self-immolate you have to burn yourself

Speaker 2 you have to completely get rid of yourself you'd have to completely literally close yourself in a barrel of acid

Speaker 1 like your family gets a million bucks if they could get your and your life insurance and your life insurance and they can sue the show and be like yo you

Speaker 1 he's gone forever yeah he hid so goddamn good he's gone i'm sure they vet the people

Speaker 2 yeah true make sure they're not gonna kill themselves yeah but You could you, you could this could be to catch a predator, how so, same name.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, yeah? That'd be funny.

Speaker 2 Like, it's not actual sexual predators, this guy's gonna be a predator, and we're gonna be the chasers, and then you just go, yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're saying, though. So, how why would they be the predators?

Speaker 1 They would be the predators, you'd be the predators, just a good name, like people would want to watch that true, or if they do catch you, then they get to, you know, they get to do what?

Speaker 1 Which spectrum,

Speaker 1 Which spectrum? They get to predate on you.

Speaker 2 And we're right back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 It'd be so funny, though, to have that prime time, like almost like the great American Chase channel where everyone's grandmom's watching it being like, shit.

Speaker 1 Woo!

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, as far as ads go,

Speaker 1 That was there for an ad. I'm pumped to drink.

Speaker 2 That shit dilated my eyes.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to mention extreme sports in their ads either for some reason. Why not? I'm like, what the fuck? That's like your guys' thing.

Speaker 2 Who guys's?

Speaker 1 Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew.
You know, when you say that. Mountain Dew and ours.
Mountain Dew's.

Speaker 2 I thought you were talking about me and your wife.

Speaker 2 So Mountain Dew's thing.

Speaker 1 Why would you say that?

Speaker 1 She was an officer, dude.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 she's black now.

Speaker 1 She was blue before. I get what you're saying.
She chose.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 2 Mountain Dew, you can't say extreme sports.

Speaker 1 They say that. I don't care.
It's up to them. That's their problem.
That's crazy. Yeah, they fucking sponsored extreme sports.

Speaker 2 My whole life, literally, it's like you chug one of those and then hit a motorbike or skateboard or a half pipe. And they're like, you know what? Don't do that now.

Speaker 1 That's Red Bull. I think they had too many people just like trying to do backflips on dirt bikes, and they're like, all right, we got to drop this.

Speaker 1 Well, Red Bull's going hard.

Speaker 2 They got people

Speaker 2 doing backflips off of hot air balloons and shit.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Red Bull's nothing.

Speaker 2 I'm surprised they haven't been sued yet.

Speaker 1 Red Bull's definitely been sued.

Speaker 2 Somebody just died.

Speaker 1 Dude, somebody jumped off somebody died drinking Panera's caffeinated iced tea.

Speaker 2 No, but I mean like from somebody jumping off some shit, expecting it to give them wings.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a risky campaign. Dude, I guarantee Red Bull's been sued 5 million times.
Yeah. Yeah.
Dude, people have heart attacks.

Speaker 2 From drinking it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. What? Yeah, dude, if you drink too many, there's people who have like genuinely no understanding about like taurine.
What's in anything? And they'll just drink like...

Speaker 1 I think people who drink like five rock stars a day.

Speaker 2 Back to back?

Speaker 1 Yeah, during the day. It like fucks up your kidneys and shit.

Speaker 2 Thank God Mountain Dew doesn't do that to you.

Speaker 1 It's organic.

Speaker 1 It's organic.

Speaker 1 Thank God Mountain Dew doesn't do that. Yeah, Red Bull.
Okay, 13 mil, that's nothing, bro.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Matt, I'm constantly looking for Star Keys, phone, chapstick, glasses.
Headphones. There you go.

Speaker 2 And I lose them all the time. That's why I use wired headphones now.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 2 What's the longest time you spent looking for something? I usually give up pretty quick. Yeah, true.
Someone I have a hard time shopping for. I have a tough time finding LeMaire gifts.
Really?

Speaker 2 And I like to spoil them.

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Speaker 2 What was I saying?

Speaker 1 Throughout the situation, Rebel insisted their marketing tactics were honest and clear, rejecting any deceitful practices. However, the lawsuit was settled in 2015.

Speaker 1 Red Bull paid customers $13 million, but maintained their marketing was not dishonest. You can't see any of that.
Oh, because he said for nothing.

Speaker 2 You can't see any of that glare.

Speaker 1 I just ripped right through it.

Speaker 1 I didn't see it until you mentioned it.

Speaker 2 I think there's an angle where there's like a glare.

Speaker 1 No, now that you mentioned it, now all I can see is you.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 the guy sued Red Bull for not growing wings and won.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 So you can't do that twice, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can't fuck around.

Speaker 2 He won 13 million for just exploiting their thing.

Speaker 1 Yep, that's like the dudes who like measures cereal.

Speaker 2 Can we get Pepsi and be like, we haven't fought anything young, yeah?

Speaker 1 If anything, we think we're older now for those that think, yeah.

Speaker 1 I do like the Coca-Cola commercials when it's just like beautiful people just like dancing on a rooftop, and it's like, dude, they're not slamming Coca-Colas, bro.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's just like a bunch of models just chugging Coca-Cola's and doing cereal

Speaker 2 or like

Speaker 2 gorgeous athletes and models eating McRibs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 In traffic, nothing spills.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't see that at all.

Speaker 2 Not in real life.

Speaker 1 I stopped eating behind the wheel. I got in a small accident one time.
What were you driving? I was driving like a minivan.

Speaker 2 You were driving a minivan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it was like my friend's, it was like an Astro or one of those things, like a Safari. Okay.
And what were you eating?

Speaker 1 tacos.

Speaker 2 That's pretty aggressive for driving.

Speaker 1 It was. It was too much.

Speaker 1 I did have a little white wine too, beforehand.

Speaker 2 You were drinking and driving in tacos?

Speaker 1 I think I drank before, and then I took colors. Who do you think?

Speaker 2 You don't know? I don't remember.

Speaker 1 I don't think I was drinking white wine. You drived out? No, no, no, no.
I was like barely buzzing. That was the problem.

Speaker 2 So you were like full-on driving, head sideways, eating a taco.

Speaker 1 I was at a red light eating. I just didn't realize I let go of the brake.
I let go of the brake at the red light.

Speaker 2 You just rolled forward into traffic?

Speaker 1 Rolled forward, bonked into a city car. It was like a city, like an L and I inspector just bonked them.
It was so light, but it was just... They came out and tried to to be like.
They were in the car?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Was that a red light? They got out the car and they're like, they tried to be like, yeah, I mean, they were like,

Speaker 1 they were within their right to be like, hey, what the fuck is that about? Fucking want to taco, bro. I just, I put that down.
I was like, dude, I, I don't know what the hell happened.

Speaker 1 And they were, uh, they were like, we're going to call the cops. I'm like, come on, man.
Don't do that. That's crazy.
You guys don't have any damage.

Speaker 1 And then they were just like, you know, just got out of it. So.

Speaker 2 So now you don't eat and dry?

Speaker 1 No, stop.

Speaker 2 This is a real story.

Speaker 1 Yes. I just let go of the brake and just totally.

Speaker 2 You totally on the brakes. Goddamn brakes went out.

Speaker 1 out i sure have but i have good i've had i've had people hit my car multiple times in a similar situation i was like whatever man we're fine yeah if it doesn't leave a mark exactly or if it's fingernail polish big so what that's what i'm saying i don't know what it wants to do with that paperwork anyway that's what i'm saying i was like so i i let two people off the hook and i think it just kind of i had a lady fucking nail my car but it was like a ford contour and i dude they had the like a steel let her go she nailed your car the car was such a piece of shit and i also her car or yours mine mine was it was like a different color panel all that that stuff and i also had a guy at a wedding and it was the car was like such a piece of shit but the guy backed in and like crunched my door in damn and i i fully went after his ass and i got like i got more than the car was worth damn and he was really pissed off about it and then i felt kind of bad about that because i did definitely just pocket all that money didn't fix the car and then uh for the insurance yeah but all he had to pay was a deductible so what yeah he don't think he wanted to go through his insurance so he cut me a personal check for like oh my gosh 1700

Speaker 1 for a 200 car and i had to he was like kind of you know he was like kind of like evading me a little bit so i had to like call him up and i like i was outside his office his office i'm like bro i need to get my car fixed like you got a fork and he was like i know you're not fixing this fucking car and i was like bro i'm fixing it right now my spine please i didn't do that yeah because i wasn't in the car he i we were at like a wedding and he backed into the car He did fuck my door up, but after the wedding too?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He might have been having a little white wine tacos himself.

Speaker 2 He was part of the family.

Speaker 1 It was like in-law, other side. You know, the two sides come together at at a wedding.
So, yes, it wasn't bloods. If it was blood, I would have let it slide, but I don't know, I don't know this guy,

Speaker 1 I don't know this guy,

Speaker 1 and it was a long time ago. Now, I've

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm a better person now, but back then, I was on, you know, I was hungry for that paper. Give me my money, yeah.
I was like, Give me my 1700, bro.

Speaker 2 Amazing. Yeah, I let somebody go too one time.
I got bumped, it wasn't bad, but I couldn't understand him, so I was like, fuck this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had an old Chinese guy hit me one time.

Speaker 2 He was, and I, and I took, I got all the way to Spanish three in school and lived in LA for 12 years. And this guy I couldn't understand, but I knew it was Spanish-based.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You could have really wrecked his life, too.
If you're like, nah, the cops are coming, bro.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could have called ICE.

Speaker 1 Potentially. Potentially.
That would suck to have to go back to Honduras over a fender bender.

Speaker 2 I wonder if it was Honduran.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you know, I was guessing.

Speaker 2 That would fucking suck, though. This would pry him away from his children and his wife.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. It's like you have like a family, you have a job, but you're living the American dream, and then it's like, no, dude, you scratched my paint.

Speaker 2 Wait, the fuck you doing?

Speaker 1 Eating tacos in traffic yeah you gotta go find that

Speaker 1 he's like what's a taco

Speaker 1 yeah an old uh old asian guy bump me one time really and dude it was like we were like neck to neck we're just like in like gridlock traffic and he just somehow and i'm like watching driving yes and i was like there's no way he's trying to he just tried to get into my lane and hit my car and i was like dude he just never saw you we had nowhere to go oh oh he did that thing where he expects you to stop and let him in dude we were bare it was like it was i laugh i started laughing did you were you parked the whole time?

Speaker 2 Like, still?

Speaker 1 We were pretty still from what I remember. I think we stopped.

Speaker 2 But did you inch forward at all?

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't one of those. Because I always, I let people go.
I'm not going to be like, no, he like came. I didn't even see him.
He was behind me.

Speaker 2 He just came from behind?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I think I was like.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, did he? The devil entendres or shit.

Speaker 1 No, did he, dude? I got hit by an old Asian dude. Hit me from the bat.

Speaker 2 I saw the whole thing.

Speaker 1 That would be crazy. I think I just saw him in my mirror coming, and I was like, what the fuck is this guy doing? All of a sudden, he was just donking.
I was like, bro. He's like, wax on.

Speaker 1 He was so funny though when when he came out he was just like an old asian guy he was like he got alerted he had the exclamation mark above his head

Speaker 1 and it was i was like dude you're too funny you gotta go i can't i can't hold this against you this is so funny you get his name no i i was he was couldn't speak any english and he kept being like oh not so bad not so

Speaker 1 whatever he was trying to say and i was just like bro you're you're hilarious just go you guys are so funny that's amazing yeah so that's why i got that's why i got blessed by the l and i guys from the city when i i you know they could have got me they're tied in with the whole thing.

Speaker 2 So you're saying it's karma. You believe in karma.
Take time. So you let all those other people off.

Speaker 2 So then when you slow rolled into the L and I guys and they let you off, you're like, thank God, it's because of all the people I let off.

Speaker 1 That's just how I roll. I wasn't even thinking about the future rewards.

Speaker 1 I was just like, I'm, I was always, I've always fantasized lightly about like someone like fucking like nailing my car with something and me just being like cool as fuck and being like, dude, I don't even care about it.

Speaker 2 They're L and I'm like just went to work and put in a claim.

Speaker 1 That's a city people. It's not even theirs.
They blame an industry. They probably fucking did.
They changed their fucking lives. They'll never never work again.

Speaker 1 That's, by the way, that's what cops are all after.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All trying to get put on disability.
Yeah. Like, oh, my God, it's crazy.
I've never met. I thought construction was bad.
Cops are like, they all want to go on this.

Speaker 1 I mean, I shouldn't say all, but I would say like 99.6%.

Speaker 2 0.6 is so specific.

Speaker 1 I'm going to leave it a couple.

Speaker 2 Most people just go 99.9%. They just go all the way.

Speaker 1 0.6. 99.9%.

Speaker 2 Like you literally left

Speaker 2 0.3% for error.

Speaker 1 Like a poll. 0.4, bro.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I've took from the 0.99.

Speaker 2 So what do they, how do they get disability? Like, they're chasing someone and twisting an angle.

Speaker 1 So they can't, a cop can't sue the city per se, but yes, if they get hurt, they can go on like just basically disability and the city will cover them.

Speaker 1 If you get hurt, you can't sue the city and get a million bucks. Right.
But if you can prove that you're hurt because of the job,

Speaker 1 you'll just carry cop benefits for the rest of your life and you can just chill.

Speaker 2 Really? Yeah. So like, oh, I can't sleep and my feet hurt 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but what they will do is if you're not hurt enough, they will put you on desk duty.

Speaker 1 So if you can prove that like if you sit down at a desk and it still hurts your back, like if you're like, oh, I can't sleep, they're like, yo, the desk duty.

Speaker 1 But if you like get fucked up and you're like, dude, sitting all day doing paperworks on a fucking cutter,

Speaker 2 my knees are locking up. My back is.

Speaker 1 They'll fight you on it. But if you can prove it, they're like, all right, and you just have, you're done.

Speaker 2 Do they like send people to follow you and like see you? Probably.

Speaker 1 You're probably in the same softball. Like, motherfucker.
Yeah. I knew a dude who lost like a couple hundred grand playing a goalie in street hockey when he had a case.

Speaker 2 I knew a guy.

Speaker 1 I took pictures of him just fucking playing street hockey. His lawyer was like, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I knew a guy. I was in, it's a guy named Mr.
Terry, and Mr. Terry,

Speaker 2 he would put his head down like that, and he would act like he had a club foot and walk. Mr.
Terry had an L and I claim open.

Speaker 2 He won, but it was a trip to see him be like, all right, y'all, I'm about to head out. God damn, and then do it when he leaves.

Speaker 2 He held that shit like that.

Speaker 1 What was that movie where the guy at the very end was like limping and he starts walking? I forget there was a a fucking

Speaker 1 I think so, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that it? That's a real thing?

Speaker 2 That's the guy's guys are so sick. I'm just talking about Mr.
Terry.

Speaker 1 But there, there was a

Speaker 1 movie where, because I used to work with a guy who fucked his foot up and he would limp and we'd all laugh.

Speaker 1 Like, dude, I guarantee on Friday, he just fucking, as soon as he gets to his car, he's like, oh, all right. Wow.

Speaker 1 He limped and he,

Speaker 1 I think he got like, yeah, they fucked his foot up like forever and he got like a hundred grand, I think. I think there's like prices.
Like if you lose a finger, that's like $16,000.

Speaker 1 That's it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's, I mean, you would think so for his finger, but yeah, it's not like you don't get like 100 G's for a finger.
I could be wrong, but I think there's a little different based on the finger.

Speaker 2 Like you lose a thumb.

Speaker 1 True. They got to break your finger.
You're fucked. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're not even a human no more.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's true.

Speaker 1 The only thing that separates us is fucking monkey again, man. I could be wrong about that, but I think there is like a real like value thing on like your body parts for like if you lose them at work.

Speaker 2 Is there a value?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think a pinky is like pinky.

Speaker 2 You get like. What do you think is the most expensive body part? A private?

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you lose your DOM, you're fucked, dude.

Speaker 2 That can't even reproduce.

Speaker 1 It's got to be a million. Or it might be like a deli counter.
Like, they have like, what's your meat looking?

Speaker 2 There it is, the value of body parts. Yeah.
There you go. Arm 124.

Speaker 1 Yo, let's go.

Speaker 1 Stitch an arm.

Speaker 2 It's got a blur on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so assembly line worker who loses a finger might receive 18 Gs. I'm pretty close.

Speaker 1 Accidental death. And a dismembered insurance policy might be $5,000.
What the fuck? I'd be pissed if someone paid me $5,000 for my life.

Speaker 1 Your arm would be $124, $124,000. There we go.
Eye is $640. Fourth finger.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so your pinky finger is $60,000. $6,000.

Speaker 1 Your thumb, you do get more. You're absolutely right.
$35,000,

Speaker 2 bro. That's not enough to never be able to grip again.

Speaker 1 I mean, your eye is worth more than your thumb. How?

Speaker 2 Because you can't see.

Speaker 1 Foot's 82. Yep.

Speaker 2 Hands. A big toe.
You can't even balance without a big toe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's, yeah, dude. That's, that's what you get.
New York Workers Compensation Board. They figured out your your body parts in a dollar amount.
I don't know how to do that.

Speaker 2 Go ahead is $100,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 100 G's for $115,000 for a leg. That's nice.
Why is your arm worth more than your leg? I guess it's easier to kind of have like a peg leg, I guess.

Speaker 2 Why is an arm worth more than a leg?

Speaker 1 I guess, you know, you use your arms more, but if your leg, you can just stand on whatever. It doesn't even fucking matter.
Just get a kickstand.

Speaker 2 Arm should be at the top for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Eyes, nice.

Speaker 2 You can't even hug anymore.

Speaker 1 That's true. Yeah.
How else are you? You're doing a push-up. Mash yourself against ladies' tits and be like, what? I'm being nice.
I'm fucking shit. You can't drive.

Speaker 2 Can't drive a manual.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't do shit, really.

Speaker 2 But with a leg, you can. You just got to get real busy.
Yeah, legging.

Speaker 1 You just peg it up. You'd be all right.
But yeah, that's, yeah, now you know.

Speaker 2 No ear?

Speaker 2 Like, what's an ear if you lose your ear?

Speaker 1 But I think that's a, this is a trouble working for yourself. Yeah, losing an ears.
I don't think they even include that. But if you work for yourself and you lose your hand, you're just fucked.

Speaker 2 This is amazing. There's no dick, nothing on there.
Like, I need more body parts.

Speaker 1 Dick's probably like, they keep that behind the glass. That's like reserved information.
They don't want people knowing. That's got a dick's got to be

Speaker 2 millions of dollars.

Speaker 1 Your ass? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you blew your ass, ass, they'd be like, here's 80 grand. Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2 He thinks I bet an ass is worth like 6,000.

Speaker 1 It's got to be the least. You don't even need it.
I fucking blew my ass up at the factory. They're like, dude, shop.

Speaker 2 I'm typing how much is an ass worth?

Speaker 1 I think something else is going to come up. It's got to be

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 What's an ass worth right now? What is ass worth right now?

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 Depends on it's from a processing girlfriend or a wife. A wife? Half.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I don't think you can, I don't think you can like really.

Speaker 1 Well, $20 is $20. Because they can also, if you're talking about losing a cheek, they can put a pop a cheek on.
That's nothing, man. You can mix and match with that.
Yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If someone somehow, like, again, that'd be a crazy accident to cut your ass off.

Speaker 1 That would be nasty.

Speaker 2 I feel like more people

Speaker 2 smear it off. What do you mean? Like a motorcycle accident or something.

Speaker 1 Big time.

Speaker 2 With it just like a pencil eraser.

Speaker 1 Or the mailman, they got that whole window open, man. If you fall out, you can just scrape your ass off

Speaker 1 inside.

Speaker 2 It was just a little smudge on the ground and disability. Yeah, true.
$6,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you lose your ass, you know, again, it's like,

Speaker 1 The problem is if you somehow destroy your asshole at work, that's where the big bucks come in.

Speaker 2 You You get the hole, they gotta pay you. That's where you get it.

Speaker 2 But they got the surgery where they just snip some and bring some new hole down.

Speaker 1 True, yeah, they pulled down. Yeah, they can cut out like half your intestines and are like, whatever.

Speaker 2 We got over 100 feet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who was I talking to?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Someone I know had like a shit bag temporarily.
They got fucked up. Because of that?

Speaker 1 He didn't like fuck his ass up at the factory, but he had like something else going on where he was like.

Speaker 2 And they just pulled down and gave him a new booty hole?

Speaker 1 I think they gave him a temporary setup where he had like a they like popped it on the out there. Yeah, yeah, he had like the colostomy, but temporarily.
So I don't know if if it was for life.

Speaker 1 I don't know how the fuck they do that.

Speaker 2 I don't know either. I know somebody that just got one.

Speaker 1 The shit bag?

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's a shit bag. What's the one for urine? Just only pee?

Speaker 1 Is that a thing? I didn't know you could. I think that's a camel back.
That's like those back. No, I don't, I don't know.
I don't know where

Speaker 1 shit.

Speaker 1 I didn't know you could. I'm sure you can have one of those, but a pea bag, I wouldn't, a pea bag wouldn't be bad.
Shit bag is rugged, dude, to be out in public. Right.

Speaker 1 My friend has a, he has actually a ring. Well, not a ring doorbell, but he has security cameras around his house, and he's caught a dude emptying his shit bag in his driveway.
Really?

Speaker 1 Okay, I mean, that's a.

Speaker 2 Do you know that guy?

Speaker 1 No, he doesn't know that guy.

Speaker 2 What the fuck would make him do it there? I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's already in the bag. It's somewhere appropriate.

Speaker 1 He had pressure on his body. His house was in like a the neighborhood's kind of fucked up, but it was like his house has like a driveway, and none of the houses have driveways.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So people would go up there for years and like, dude, he'd have people would fuck back there. So it was like.
Oh, we had that house. Yeah.
So exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 And it's right off of in Philly. There's like Lancaster Ave.
And that's like Lancaster Av is like an open area. It's like an open air, like drug and prostitution market.
So everyone goes.

Speaker 1 He's like a block behind. So that was like the quiet area you would go to

Speaker 1 to do shit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But to drop out all your shit out your bag there.

Speaker 1 That's disrespectful. Yeah.
Fucking is one thing.

Speaker 1 But he does have, he has it all on vid. He is like, dude's just

Speaker 1 busting on prostitutes quickly.

Speaker 2 Like just little quick videos?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, it's just that's it doesn't you know he has the video it could be as long as they want but they're good at their job, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, especially when you're standing in the driveway, you got the adrenaline pumping, you're holding up a leg, blood flowing, yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they said these. Somebody's like, I gotta bring my shit back.

Speaker 1 Hurry up. Hurry up.

Speaker 1 Hurry the fuck up.

Speaker 2 Like, I'll brought my shit back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like disturbing. He showed me some of the videos, and I'm like, man, that's like almost disturbing.

Speaker 2 You should put out a series.

Speaker 1 It would be within his right, honestly. That's a dark driveway.
Like, that's your content.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that is your content. You could put it out.
It's like shit shit bags. Fucking mostly people fucking probably be the stuff people want to see.

Speaker 2 You got a lot of blurrings blurring stuff out.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I feel like if you hung up a little disclaimer, it's like, yeah, at that point,

Speaker 1 yeah, it'd be like, we are a live fence.

Speaker 2 I think people don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 Or they just don't read it. If it's nighttime, it's like, you can't see that.
But then it's like, you're going to go see.

Speaker 2 Man, I remember one time in high school, I was with this girl. You ever been with a girl and you're looking for a place to fuck in a car?

Speaker 1 And usually they're like, they're just going to, mm-mm. No.
They're like, we're not doing this.

Speaker 2 Just depending on the different spot, they're looking around like, too bright. Yeah, yeah.
Too whatever. Well, this particular girl was like, make a left.

Speaker 1 Right. And I was like, oh, shit, you got a spot already? Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 We pull all the way into the spot and it's dark.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 2 mess around or whatever. And then I get in the car and I turn on the parking lights or whatever.
And right in front of the car is a sign that's like, help us stop prostitution.

Speaker 2 I was like, whoa, you took me me to a spot where it's that popular that they already have a sign here.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Yeah.
What did, did you like grill her on this? That's like when women have to do it. No,

Speaker 1 whenever women have two condies on them, I'm like,

Speaker 1 right.

Speaker 2 I don't think she knew that. I don't know, but she

Speaker 2 acted like she didn't know that that was there. So we both were like, what does that say? Yeah.
Holy shit. I had another time.
This is completely separate. I had another time in high school.
where

Speaker 2 we were looking for this place and then found one, messed around. We didn't even smash, but I think we just like petting, you know, in high school, a little finger bang accident or something.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I got out of the car to get from the driver's seat to the back seat, and somehow I dropped my phone.

Speaker 2 And I didn't know where we were because it was dark. And

Speaker 2 which sounds like a cop-out, but where I'm from, I'm from Lacey, Washington. And so, like, you can literally be on a street with hella lights and then pull off where you are the lights.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so, anyway, the next day in broad daylight, like we had a phone call.

Speaker 2 It's like, hey, I heard my dad on the phone. And it's like, yeah, we found this phone on our property.
And this number dad or whatever was in. So we dialed it.

Speaker 1 It's like an old, this was when we had the LG flip phone. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like, okay, who is this? It's like, oh, this is Pastor Something, something.

Speaker 1 It's like, bitch, you took me to a church?

Speaker 2 So, yeah, I finger banged at a church unbeknownst to me, or at least in the parking parking lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of fingerbanging going on in the the church parking lot, though.

Speaker 2 I think there's more inside, but I just didn't know.

Speaker 1 I didn't know where I was. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I used to do behind the Verizon store. There was a Verizon that they just stopped construction on.
So there was just an empty Verizon store. That was like my spot in high school.

Speaker 1 There was a Les Schwab.

Speaker 1 A what?

Speaker 2 Les Schwab tire store.

Speaker 1 Oh, a tire store would be decent. I used to keep a blanket and a pillow.

Speaker 2 They had the building and they had all the, they had like four bays, and then the building ended, and there was like an outside bay that was like completely invisible.

Speaker 1 That's kind of a nice little carport, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I remember I uh but I was with the girl and she showed another guy. So one time I went to go back there, and there's already a car back there moving into the car.

Speaker 1 Occupied,

Speaker 1 you honked, and I knew whose car it was, though. Oh, no, yeah, nicest ways, like Jeremy.
I'm like, what the fuck? God damn it, man.

Speaker 2 Damn it, Jeremy Nelson strikes again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my dad called me carrying a blanket.

Speaker 2 I want to delete out. That's a real name.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah, fuck it. He'll like it.

Speaker 1 What's up, Jeremy?

Speaker 1 I was there that night. He was no problem yeah i i had a uh graham cracker toenails uh my dad

Speaker 1 my dad caught me carrying like the blanket and pillow to my car one time he's like what are you doing i heard you say you said you had a blanket and pillow

Speaker 1 he was like what are you doing i was like i don't know if i ever have like a sleepover i'll be like ready to roll

Speaker 1 he was just like all right dude i also had um

Speaker 1 like some like landscapers the verizon finally went like active And it was like, it was during the day, too. I was just going nuts.

Speaker 1 And these Mexican dudes just walked out and just came up to the car and I had to be like, yo, yo, yo, yo yo get out of here guys this ain't the spot come on guys I'm more so

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Speaker 2 I used to call this the magic burrito.

Speaker 1 And so what I would do is, why'd you perk up so much? I didn't know what you're talking about. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm talking about being ready for whatever.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about fucking cards, damn with a magic burrito. Like, all right, let's go.
Let's go. So this is what a magic burrito was, right?

Speaker 2 Like, I had this whole period of my life where I was like, let me see if I can get a hand job for sure, right? And so, a magic burrito was a hotel lotion wrapped in a face towel.

Speaker 1 And so, I would, all of that shit would be in my backpack.

Speaker 2 Like, I had magic burritos.

Speaker 1 What would you use them like a fifi basic? What are you saying? What's a fifi? Like the prison pussy people make where they put like sandwich bags together?

Speaker 1 No, so you would just store a lotion in the towel and case the hand job. It was a hotel lotion.

Speaker 2 Oh, and then you roll it up like a blunt or whatever.

Speaker 1 I thought you were saying you like squirt it into a towel. No, it was still in the container.

Speaker 2 Got you. But if I, if a girl was like, ah, let me see, I'd be like, I'll bet.

Speaker 1 You would pull us the magic burrito. I got a cloth.
I got a lotion. Let's go.
All I need is a girl. Oh, you had the whole setup.
You had a mobile kit.

Speaker 2 You had a magic burrito.

Speaker 1 I see what you're saying. I thought you were saying, I just need this cold, awkward hand.

Speaker 2 That's all I need. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 We were young. It's true.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm talking before people knew the twist at the end.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 It takes a woman a whole life to learn how to give a hand job properly.

Speaker 1 It's bullshit. Do you remember when you first got like one? You were like, wait a minute.
I thought I was getting hurt, dude. Yeah.
It was the first time I got a hand job,

Speaker 1 I think it was in like grade school.

Speaker 2 No, I don't mean like a bad one. I mean, do you remember when you got a bunch of people?

Speaker 1 Oh, the first time I got one that I was like, hold on. Yeah, dude.
It's crazy. It was a revelation.

Speaker 2 Right. Like, do you ever have, you ever have a hand job that was like,

Speaker 2 it was better than what you had been doing to yourself before?

Speaker 1 I'm the best, bro. I'm the best in the biz.
No. I'm the best in the biz.

Speaker 1 But there had to be a time where you weren't, where you were just doing straight shots and somebody hit you with your first double twist and you're like, oh you can do that no i'm telling you man you on your own figured out you could double twist your dick i don't double twist i've never double twisted

Speaker 1 the high and tight or whatever you figured out but you were on your own you figured out these levels to this i mean i i didn't i didn't realize how bad girls were until like grade school and i was kind of like whoa i like was like yo stop like this hurts your ambition just met its match with robin hood you play for the win not just on game day every day channel that drive into your money trade stocks and etfs apps options and futures all on one platform you expect more from yourself expect more from your money get started today at robinhood.com slash your money your money your move this episode is brought to you by monster ultra

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Speaker 1 They were just like trying to upload it.

Speaker 2 That's a lot of meat.

Speaker 1 Bottom part's worthless, dude. Please, we can't feel any of that.
Come to the tip where all the nervous are.

Speaker 1 I'll hold everything. I guess you'd have to say, like, maybe like

Speaker 1 a wishy wash. I've been to the wishy-washi before back when I was a young man.
What is wishy-washy?

Speaker 1 That's like when you go in, like, the massage parlor and the Asian ladies give you a bath and jerk you off.

Speaker 2 No, I never did that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wouldn't start if you haven't already done it. But the...

Speaker 1 Is it addicting or something? When you're younger, it's just like you get drunk.

Speaker 2 Those are everywhere where I'm from.

Speaker 1 They're fucking everywhere.

Speaker 1 They're everywhere.

Speaker 1 Everywhere. Every time you drive around, and once you know what they are, I'm like,

Speaker 2 it's probably too easy to just be like,

Speaker 1 it's. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I ain't doing shit. I might as well just pull off.
The problem is, is.

Speaker 2 Kids, I'm going to the movies by myself. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The walk, the entrance is the worst part. Cause you got to like walk in.
You're just like, Jesus fucking Christ. And then you're in there and then you leave and you're like, oh.
Do they know you?

Speaker 2 Or is there like a process where you're like trying to not look like a cop?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I never, I kind of look like a cop.

Speaker 1 So I was like, I don't think they care but you don't think they don't even give a shit huh no not at all they're they a lot of them have the fop stickers on the outside windows they're paying they're paying the cops they're like paying really yeah you can be like an fop like donor so okay i remember thinking that was kind of a wild move though they had like fop

Speaker 1 year after year all over the window just says hey we donate you guys leave us alone i i would say i would say uh sorry

Speaker 1 allergies um i think it's a bad habit it's a bad habit are you getting emotional i'm thinking about the wishy-washy getting emotional

Speaker 1 i I mean,

Speaker 1 to be fair, do they like literally lay you on a table and just like dump buckets of hot water on you and just fully wash you down?

Speaker 2 This sounds like a relaxing experience.

Speaker 1 It's definitely, if nothing else, it's a relaxing experience.

Speaker 2 Do you think people could tell that you did it?

Speaker 1 No, what do you mean? Like when I came out of it, I mean, your hair might be a little wet. That's kind of suspicious.

Speaker 2 What about just like your general amount of relaxation?

Speaker 2 Like, motherfucker, you went, didn't you?

Speaker 1 The wet hair and the smelling like lotion would have been more of a giveaway, but.

Speaker 2 But not the light feet and the floating around?

Speaker 1 No, because you kind of like come out of there like, oh, you have to emerge back into the world. It's like, if you're ever like a sex shop, you got to like walk in and walk out.

Speaker 2 Do you feel dirty?

Speaker 1 Yeah, big time. I grew up Catholic, so it's like anything.

Speaker 2 Did you ever get over that feeling? Where you walked out with your chest up?

Speaker 1 One time, no. Whistling.
I wish I did, but I did see a man one time who did exactly that. I was working, I was doing demolition, and we were like taking out a parking garage.

Speaker 1 So my job was to like stand on like the third floor of it and just watch, make sure people didn't like have shit fall on them in the little alley right and there was a wishy-washy in that alley what so i just watched people go in and out all day and like we would all fuck with them we'd be like yo and they would come out and most people would scamper right it's one old man just looked at us and went did a little now you're welcome and i was like dude you're the man i was like i just want to be like you when i get older yeah that confidence is that's that's nuts but yeah then you get into it though and then like you i found you find out later a lot of them are like Kind of like sex slaves.

Speaker 1 So that's not good.

Speaker 2 Sex slaves.

Speaker 1 Well, what happens is if you run one of those things, what you do is you bring girls over. You say, hey, like, you know, we have a a modeling agency.
You're really pretty.

Speaker 1 You bring them over from Korea. Then once they get there, you just yank their fucking paperwork and you're like, this is what the fuck you're doing.

Speaker 2 Really? Yeah. I didn't know.
I know that seemed to be what's going on. Because, like,

Speaker 1 some, they're creating.

Speaker 2 Like cars outside are like old-ass Honda Civic hatchbacks and shit. Like, these are old ladies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that's the Mama-san. But then it's like, there's definitely a dude running that place.
Really? Oh, yeah, bro. Definitely.
They're like organized crime. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're bringing women.

Speaker 2 What's Mama-san?

Speaker 1 That's the head lady, the old old madam, yeah. The madam, she has the mama, yeah, the mama sign.

Speaker 2 I know a little bit about because Seattle's built on whorehouses, yeah, yeah, like the whole underbelly of Seattle, really, yeah.

Speaker 2 There was like one madam that had like 37 whorehouses, and so the entire industrial it being built and stuff was like paid for by yeah.

Speaker 1 I was, I was reading a book recently. That's fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 I was reading a book recently, and uh, type in um,

Speaker 2 like uh, Seattle, well, let's check these Yelp reviews first.

Speaker 1 Let's see what I Found it.

Speaker 1 Um, yeah, I read a book. Uh, it was like set in the 1890s.
That's not what I'm looking for.

Speaker 2 You're about to find some actual

Speaker 2 ass for sale. No, like, like the history of Seattle and whorehouses.
Like, I'd like to maybe try history.

Speaker 1 Apparently, they had a huge boom out there. I think maybe that was the gold rush.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 Ma, Miss Ma or something.

Speaker 1 First prostitutes were Native American women. Yeah, I'm sure they weren't really kind of, you know, like, hey, guys, you want a job? That might have been a kind of a coercive situation.

Speaker 2 There was a lady, Madame Lou. Boom.
Who is Madam? Right at the very bottom.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Click that.

Speaker 2 Madam Lou.

Speaker 2 There it is. Lou Graham, born Dorothy Georgine Emmeline Obin was a German-born woman who became famous as a madam of a brothel that is now the Pioneer Square District of Seattle.

Speaker 2 That's shorting what she did. But they had like taxes.
They had a seamstress tax. All that was was just how to tax the whores.

Speaker 1 Oh, that makes sense.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So like this city was built on

Speaker 1 those little towns or those, you know, they were little towns originally.

Speaker 2 You have to type probably Madame Lou Graham.

Speaker 1 I was like, who the fuck is hell there?

Speaker 2 But everyone was coming in for working on the railroad, working on lumber, working on whatever. So people had money.
Yeah, man. And she was cleaning up.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, and back then, too, it would like, say you were just like a, like you're a girl and your parents both died.

Speaker 1 You would be like, if you didn't have any immediate family, you'd just be fucked. So you'd just be like out, just like sitting there.

Speaker 2 And someone was like, can we click that one right there that says she got arrested by a rookie cop that didn't know? Oh, the left one and the red. Yeah.
What does that say? It just looks interesting.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 She was so influential that she had all charges cleared and had the police commissioner fired. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Do you know how much pussy you have to sell that if you get arrested, you can get the commissioner fired?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also she probably had the DOS on all those guys. So she was like, yeah, she called the mayor and was like, for sure.

Speaker 2 She got the diddy list.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 For sure. She's untouchable.

Speaker 2 That rookie cop fucked up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, back. Yeah, that was probably crazy.
1890s hitting like whorehouses and shit in a new, like in a a wild western town. That must have been insane.
Right. Yeah, it's yeah, they really.

Speaker 2 But it's not like they had tapes and videos on people. Like that lady's word was bond.
Like she could,

Speaker 2 she just lie on you and it's a wrap for you. True.

Speaker 1 Or yeah, or it'd be like, you know, you might, you might have had a guy in there, like a mayor, get like rough with like a younger girl. And it's like,

Speaker 1 yeah, all it would take, like, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit. And everyone would believe it.

Speaker 1 Believe her, for sure. For sure.
Right. And they could be like, I've seen, I know, I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar.
True. Or it could be like, you hit his a mole on his ass, so I can prove it.

Speaker 1 And the mayor would be like, fuck that.

Speaker 2 His wife would know. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 She knew that you had a piece of your asshole removed and a new asshole on.

Speaker 1 Dude, I was reading another book, and it was like this,

Speaker 1 it was like, I think, World, no, Korean War. And they got stationed in

Speaker 1 Germany. And they would have like their cigarettes.
It was like this Irish immigrant guy who came to America and he joined the Korean War.

Speaker 1 So like all the American soldiers were over in Germany and they would have to drive like the laundry back and forth.

Speaker 1 But on the road, they would stop at refugee camps and trade like coffee and cigarettes to like starving like refugees, like Eastern European women. Right.
And just fuck them. What? In like a hovel.

Speaker 1 It was like, I was reading this, like, God, that's ruthless, dude. Just back then.

Speaker 1 Just like a shitty, like makeshift like tent set up. And they would just like go back there and just like get blown by like starving women for cigarettes and be like, nice.

Speaker 2 Oh, they were giving them cigarettes for the head? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're like, head, or just fuck them. And just be like, nice.
And it was like, he was explaining it. he's like they were freezing cold and like dirty and like starving and i was like oh bro

Speaker 1 that's horny can of beans yeah that's pretty horny dude back then dudes were like fucked up how horny they were yeah but like

Speaker 2 you know they gotta have a pretty good skill set yeah the guy did say he came pretty quickly

Speaker 1 in a sex tent especially survival mode yeah Right.

Speaker 2 And you got to hurry up before your laundry's done.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, funny enough, the laundry was being done in Dachau. What's Dachau? It's like one of the concentration camps.

Speaker 1 So World War II had like just happened. So it was pretty fresh when they were exterminating Jewish people.
And that was like one of the, it was like, you know, Dachau and whatever.

Speaker 2 I always for Auschwitz.

Speaker 1 Auschwitz. That was the big one.
But there was a couple other ones. Okay.
Auschwitz gets, you know, kind of all the most famous one. People talk about that.
But yeah, he had to go to

Speaker 1 Dachau and like he was with a Jewish guy and they like pulled up on it and he was like, oh shit. And the guy like completely freaked out.

Speaker 2 Just from being back at the same place?

Speaker 1 I don't, I think he just, his parents were there or something. I think like, because back then, I think your family would just get wiped.

Speaker 1 Like if you're a Jewish dude, yeah, you would lose like your whole family just get like obliterated.

Speaker 2 You mean just like during World War II?

Speaker 1 But the Korean War. When was the Korean War, Josh? I think it was pretty shortly after.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like pretty shortly after World War II.

Speaker 2 I don't know anything about the Korean War.

Speaker 2 Other than recently on like TikTok and Instagram, they're saying that the Korean War and all all the black soldiers going over there is how koreans learn how to make such good fried chicken that could be because they love fried chicken literally they that's like the recipes from like louisiana the way they do it whoa it was 1950 to 53.

Speaker 2 damn

Speaker 1 from the black soldiers because dude i used to work for a korean guy and they love fried chicken dude right oh i didn't know that

Speaker 1 well that's kind of uh

Speaker 2 I learned how to fry chicken from the black soldiers.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 How to.

Speaker 1 I didn't. That's fucking nuts.

Speaker 1 And they came over there and like, all right, we're going to.

Speaker 1 Yes, African-American soldiers stationed in Korea during the Korean War.

Speaker 1 Most likely taught Korean soldiers. Okay, sick, man.

Speaker 2 That they shared the barracks with.

Speaker 1 Damn, dude.

Speaker 1 Then they came over that.

Speaker 1 They all came over shortly after. Set up the shops.

Speaker 2 And made beautiful children.

Speaker 1 It's true.

Speaker 2 From there, there's a lot of like black and Korean couples and white and Korean couples. And

Speaker 1 man,

Speaker 2 black and Korean girls are stunning. Yeah, that was that Kamora Lee look.

Speaker 1 Blazion was like mythologically hot back in like the early or even like white nation, like Janae Aiko or whatever.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Is she white nation?

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's black and see.

Speaker 1 I'm hooked. Yeah.
That is a whole look. Just pull up.

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 literally the hottest combination by far. And

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's pretty nuts.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 2 No, it's an Asian lady with a black attitude.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Depends how it goes.
Depends how hot she is. It's your motherfucking shoe.
It depends how hot she is. It depends how hot she is.
Chopstick, fuck you.

Speaker 1 I think the hotter they are, they go either way. If they're kind of beat, they'll like present pretty age.
If they get hot, then it's like, I'm letting it go.

Speaker 2 So the hotter they are, the blacker they act?

Speaker 1 Wow. That's my theory.
I don't know. That's my theory.
See it. I would.
What the hell? I'm not bringing anyone a glass of water. If I'm a fucking Blasian girl.
I think it's more.

Speaker 2 I think it's like

Speaker 2 based on what city they're in.

Speaker 1 True. I mean, that's probably more.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Yeah. Because there's black and Korean girls in Korea.
They're not all here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true.

Speaker 2 And they don't act like that.

Speaker 1 No, not at all. Bob's just making a joke.

Speaker 1 But no, I dated a Blasian girl.

Speaker 2 What was the joke? I missed it.

Speaker 1 I was just saying saying, if you're hotter, it's like, why would they be like meek and humble like typically Asians are? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 That's fucking funny. And I'm sorry I missed it.

Speaker 1 That's okay. It was totally funny.
No, it's worth going back to get.

Speaker 2 Asians are really like, how Rugi, you know, but not.

Speaker 2 Harugi, my fact. No, to be bad.

Speaker 1 To be honest, though, I dated a girl who was half black and half Asian years ago.

Speaker 1 Was she a cop, too? No, she was not a cop. She was a fucking doctor.
She was studying to be a doctor. Of course.
I only deal with women of magnets of industry.

Speaker 1 There's big leaders, titans, in the industries.

Speaker 1 But the uh, I would like be sitting there, like drinking water, and like my water cup would get low, and like, we're not even like making a big stink about it.

Speaker 1 She would like to pick it up real quick, fill it back, and set it back down. I was just like, What the fuck? Wow, the hell is this?

Speaker 2 Like, this is what this is part of what I do. That was it.

Speaker 1 That was just a setup. It was just like, oh shit, your water's low.
Let me go get that and fill that back up. And I was like, Man, culturally, hospital.
Yeah, exactly. The hospital.

Speaker 1 I asked her, I'm like, what the fuck was that about? And she's like, it's just been drilled into my head.

Speaker 2 I could see that.

Speaker 2 I have a homegirl that's

Speaker 2 Guamanian, and she's similar to... What is she?

Speaker 1 Guamanian. Oh, Guamanian.
Tomorrow? Gotcha, gotcha.

Speaker 2 Yeah, from Guam.

Speaker 2 Yeah, very

Speaker 2 service of their husbands-oriented. I know.

Speaker 1 It's fucking, you know, not the worst thing in the world. I think it's pretty damn cool, to be honest with you.
So what are your aspirations in the

Speaker 1 romantic sense? Are you bachelor for life or do you have kids?

Speaker 2 No, man, I don't have any kids. I'm not married.
I'm single right now. I want.
uh all that shit yeah but i think it's

Speaker 2 oh my god i don't know know how. I don't know how I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you travel. You're saying you're on the road.
Not even that.

Speaker 2 It's like now things have really taken off.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 2 Like, it's been in for in two years, like, to give perspective, like, I went from not having

Speaker 2 TikTok or whatever to like,

Speaker 2 do you, do you know my whole little origin story?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Tell me.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 um,

Speaker 2 I own, I own, um,

Speaker 2 I own the biggest black-owned comedy club.

Speaker 1 I did see that. I did see that.

Speaker 2 Club in Washington. It's called Nate Jackson Super Funny Comedy Club.

Speaker 2 I did Wildin' Out and a bunch of stuff like that. A friend of mine told me to get on TikTok because he was having success on there.
And I was like, come on, dude, like, who needs another app?

Speaker 2 And he's like, go to my page, screenshot it, come back the next day and compare and tell me if you still don't want to be on there.

Speaker 2 And I went and looked and I was like, that's ridiculous growth in one day. Yeah, yeah.
And so I got on TikTok, like

Speaker 2 posting the stuff that wasn't jokes. Yeah, yeah.
That wasn't material, right? that ended up being crowd work or whatever that so that's matt rife telling me to do we were

Speaker 2 he he not consistently was my feature but we had like some gigs before like he was the actual oh so that was the rife man being like bro yeah it was matt saying like yo gotcha and then i did it and then shit went crazy and so now i've got like 3.8 million or something like on TikTok.

Speaker 2 Damn. And so my road manager was telling me the other day, he was like, dude, that's like one in every 97 Americans are following you.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So dating has changed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because if they don't know who I am, somebody's like, oh my God, bitch.

Speaker 1 I've seen him on TikTok.

Speaker 2 Or a waiter is like, sir.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can we get a selfie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then it affects the dynamic of just when you're dating and that happens, it's the best.

Speaker 1 Cause then a girl's like,

Speaker 1 is it? They like that.

Speaker 1 What's the downside? I mean,

Speaker 2 there's plenty of downside. Like, they're not even, now they're not even being who they are anymore.

Speaker 1 They're like, oh, caught a whale. Yeah, that's true.
Okay, sugar. I didn't think about that.
I'm just thinking about coming.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. If you're trying to life building, that is.
And that's another thing.

Speaker 2 Right. Before they knew that, like, coming was an option.
Yeah. Now they know that.
They're like, oh,

Speaker 2 let's see how I can string this out.

Speaker 1 Women do that.

Speaker 2 They'll get you pussy faster if they don't think you're an actual contender for their heart for real.

Speaker 1 I can see that.

Speaker 2 That's the new thing. You've been married a while.
So the new thing is if a girl thinks she has no real future with you, but she's attracted, she will smash you.

Speaker 2 But if she likes you, now she'll like, yeah, she'll wait, she'll string you along forever. You know, I mean, let's build a friendship first, and let's.

Speaker 2 And you're doing all that, being patient. Meanwhile, that same guy that has no potential with her is like, it was cool.

Speaker 1 Have you ever done that, though? Has anyone ever just like sat and just like not smashed and built like a genuine friendship?

Speaker 2 Oh, no. Well, you have.
Oh, he said he has.

Speaker 1 What do you do though? Are you just like, hey, Legos?

Speaker 1 let's wrestle

Speaker 1 buddy have a shitload of wet dreams yeah i i feel like i you know i wasn't like man i wish i did that i was i was with my wife luckily when like you know we were on like an air mattress so it wasn't like so you guys were you were in the you got it out the mud together yeah so that was kind of nice right you know the woman you said you were gonna have sex with behind my back on camera um

Speaker 1 the cop

Speaker 1 a cop on an air mattress that was really mean that was like really mean when you say that

Speaker 1 but no dude, yeah, we met before that. So yeah, I couldn't imagine if it was like, it would be kind of weird.
But then it's like, what is even the problem with that?

Speaker 1 That's like having, it's being a lady with big tits, being like, you just like me because my big tits. It's like, well, that helps, but it's also.

Speaker 2 And I swear to God, I've had this conversation many times, but it's like, who wants a cupcake with no sprinkles? Like, let's appreciate it for every part of it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, they go, they're like a bag of M ⁇ Ms and they come to you pulling one of the colors out, being like, let's appreciate all the other colors first. So then I know.

Speaker 2 Like, well, no, I like the yellow ones too. Most men are like if I want if I'm dating a girl or getting serious with a girl I want access to the whole girl

Speaker 2 every like I'm well let's talk mind body spirit ass all that shit if they're serious yeah yeah right and so what what's happened now is there's dudes that have acted or taken advantage of that so then they build a wall around it and now they they're giving up the pussy last and unfortunately it's like your only barometer for telling if a girl truly likes you is you know yeah she can see the pussy otherwise because she can act like that.

Speaker 2 And then the girls are also like, you can get a pussy anywhere. Let's build the other stuff first.
So it creates this weird circle of just like it does.

Speaker 1 And you're both

Speaker 1 pain. That's the problem, too.
You're both open to, if you're online dating, it's like there's just people who like they have been talking to or you have been or hitting you up.

Speaker 1 And you got to be like, oh, actually, it's like.

Speaker 2 Everybody got somebody, a floater, an ex, a next.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a practice they say. It's called cushioning that women do where they'll keep like communications going with like four or five dudes.

Speaker 2 I call it vine swinging.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's some fucking bullshit, man. That's something I was never a fan of.
Like, they're just my friend. I'm like, you don't have any fucking friends, dude.

Speaker 2 But you have a whole column of guys that they would marry.

Speaker 2 You ever been over there?

Speaker 2 Then they got a column of like, they literally, they run their dating life like a game of fuck Mary Kill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true.

Speaker 2 Legitimately.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that's pretty. Yeah, I never, I was always more of a

Speaker 1 boyfriend type. I wish I was more of like the mysterious, kind of sexy, intruder.

Speaker 2 that always, the one that they fuck. Yeah.
And he's like, I just can't get a girl to like love me for real. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's his whole thing.

Speaker 1 Gorgeous dude.

Speaker 2 And just, he just got to the point where he's like, he'd had enough, like, he'd slayed enough. And he was like, I want a family.
Yeah. And every woman is like, oh,

Speaker 1 oh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he's like, calm down.

Speaker 1 And we just talk.

Speaker 2 We chill.

Speaker 2 They're all tracing his lips.

Speaker 1 He's like, God damn it. Are you still talking about Matt Rush?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I was talking about a whole nother dude.

Speaker 2 But I bet Matt goes through that same shit, right?

Speaker 1 That jawline. Yeah, he's a very, he's a very, uh, yeah.
And once that like catches on, too, once like enough women are like,

Speaker 1 oh my God, he's so hot, the rest of the hive mind kicks in. They're like, I want to suck his dick too.
And you're like, well, hold on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can see it, I guess. I mean, I'm not into dudes, but he has a jawline.
I think that's a feature that they like.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know? The money.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it is tough. I never thought about the net, the kind of like, yeah, if you, you, once you're like kind of doing well, then you have to kind of like try to pick.

Speaker 2 And then we have to pick someone who's they just told me there's a dating app.

Speaker 1 I heard about this.

Speaker 1 Raya? I've heard about it. Does that sound right? Yeah, it's for like, it's like an elite dating app kind of like

Speaker 2 it's like so everyone's not overreacting at who they see on there.

Speaker 1 How do you even do that though?

Speaker 2 Apparently you sign up like one of those private Facebook groups where you got to like answer the questions and they vet you and then they let you in.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 I mean, how else would a police chief date?

Speaker 1 how else would a attorney date how else would a so it goes it's like it's it goes brand new

Speaker 1 detroit lion in the detroit market that's my question how hard do you have to be balling like if you're like in a if you're like a basic

Speaker 2 bread thing but it's got to be a notability thing right like a weather woman is in there right on should be yeah she's on tv every day you know okay she's not making the same kind of money as

Speaker 2 but yeah i know what you mean but yeah so they told me it was called raya i have someone just literally told me about this there were uh Elite singles, apparently, is one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But my, my, there you go. How do you get on Raya? My

Speaker 2 users sign up by inputting basic information about themselves.

Speaker 1 Oh, they probably check your follower count and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, my boy was like, you're going to have to get on Raya, dude.

Speaker 1 Damn. But then it's like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm not even a celebrity like that, but.

Speaker 1 You might be married. I think you sell Raya material.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do get stopped, though, in real life.

Speaker 1 Well, how hard?

Speaker 2 I was exiting the Austin airport just now. Like, you know how you go at that last checkpoint? They're like, there's, if you go past that, you can't come back in.

Speaker 2 Well, there's two ladies sitting right there.

Speaker 1 And one was like, shut the fuck up. You know what I'm saying? Let's get a picture, Sugar.
So we took a picture and everything.

Speaker 2 And she's like, we are fans.

Speaker 1 That's cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but how do you date? If I'm on a date and that lady walks by, shut the fuck up. I mean, I mean, like, I'm like,

Speaker 1 it is a having online notability or notoriety is like a blazing sword in the online dating scene. And I I like got to test this theory out back when I was dating online.

Speaker 1 So I had like a regular profile. I was like, you know, I was kicking around, regular dude, doing stand-up.
And then my friends did a web series for and had like Comedy Central.

Speaker 1 So then I got a picture. I got to add like a small role in it.
So I got to put a picture on my dating app of me with the

Speaker 1 Comedy Central logo. Forget about it.
Bro.

Speaker 1 It wasn't even right. I should have done it.
I mean, it was, it was kind of like, it was kind of some bullshit on my part because I had like a

Speaker 2 two-second thing on a web series, but they, people see that and they go tv yeah and the messages came in way faster i tried to do tinder i think it was and so where i'm from my show the super it was a show before was a club super funny comedy show and we had this backdrop or like um

Speaker 2 we had a photograph scott payton took immaculate pictures and he did it for like four years so you could like just get dressed up as possible and at the end of the show be like scott and he would just literally be taking headshots yeah he was that good yeah so when I got on the dating site like 99.6% of the bitches

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 were Scott Payton Scott Payton pictures is like from my show you know you can just reckon you know you know what I mean so I was like I can't get on the app everybody's literally taking pictures from my show yeah I mean I was a pig I had no problem just utilizing that but I but they wouldn't pick me I don't know what it was I'd be on like they would assume because I'm I'm the guy that has the show and the star of the show or whatever Yeah that I'm slaying so they would pick like my band members that were sitting behind me or they would pick the comic that's in town or they would pick like it was and like my homies are like dog I'm crushing I had a homeboy I'm not even gonna say his name

Speaker 2 because I think he's about to get married but anyway he was like I just saw him on the road in Greensboro and he was like dude I used to slay off saying I know you I'm like what he's like yeah we'd be like you want to meet Nate I'm like are you kidding me he's like yeah like if they kind of liked us like we would say that and it was a wrap Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, dude, you can totally, I mean, you know, yeah, I hear what you're saying.

Speaker 1 It is tough because it's like if you genuinely want to have a family, you have to like somehow do the opposite of that line of thinking.

Speaker 2 It's and also there's a certain type of woman that

Speaker 2 it would take,

Speaker 2 right? Like

Speaker 2 a woman has a sign up for a man that is like truly trying to go get it, and she may not be his number one priority at all times. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 2 And that's not a normal, like this, she got to be raised away or have like a certain upbringing or

Speaker 2 be around industry before or have tried to chase it on, like some sort of a proximity to the game. Yeah.
To be like, this is a good guy and this is what he does.

Speaker 2 So if they're like, and that's not on, that's not on an app. That's not a thing.
Like, so the women that fit that profile, like

Speaker 2 they have to have had some sort of history with somebody to be like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I know what you mean.

Speaker 2 They're saying like it can't be their first rodeo that's a comic. There's no earthly way, not if you, if you popped, there's no way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just you're gone.

Speaker 2 You, you're 38 weeks, you're out of it.

Speaker 1 You're gone all the time.

Speaker 2 The money's insane, but you're gone. Yeah, you're gone.

Speaker 1 They don't like that at all.

Speaker 2 And it's like, pick some dates and come with me. Let's do that part.
And then it's like, but you're still working.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's nothing worse. My wife does that.
She's like, we'll just go out to dinner before the show. And I'm like, I'm not fucking going out to dinner before the show.
I don't want to talk.

Speaker 1 I just want to go.

Speaker 2 And we got to sacrifice and go. Now we're sitting in Fud Ruckers.
Like, what?

Speaker 2 people are like yeah excuse me can i have a picture you're like i'm just trying to just with my family here

Speaker 2 so it's a challenge yeah um i'm not i'm it's not like to the point where i feel like cursed by it or nothing but i could see where it's like yeah i just let it rip man i was letting but that's the thing too then like imagine like who's the super known face like that person trying to date like they have to struggle like it's always there you know what i'm saying but it's one of those things yeah it is it's always there where it's like you like me for me or for me joey from friends like in real life, it's just like, I just want to meet a girl that appreciates me for who I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, shut up, Joey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just my real name. Luckily, I think luckily for me, I've never, I'm always just kind of like, I've always been like, whatever.
And it was, again, I didn't have to deal with any of that stuff.

Speaker 1 We met.

Speaker 2 You said you were on air mattresses.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I always do rub my, like, what little success I have in her face at every moment. I'm like, dude, how you like me now? She's like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 It is funny, though, because when you get recognized when you're dating, it's like, yes, dude, I'm I'm definitely getting pussy tonight.

Speaker 1 Now, like, it'll happen with my wife, and I used to even like rub that in her face, and now she's just liking me into it. She's like, whatever.
She's like, yeah, here, I'll take a picture.

Speaker 1 So, before I be able to be like,

Speaker 2 if I'm with, let's say I'm with friends, and

Speaker 2 this is my new pet peeve. Let me just share it.
It may not even fit where we're at in the conversation, but this is my new pet peeve.

Speaker 2 If I'm with friends, or really it's my own, like, road, like my openers or videographer or road manager, somebody will like not know who we are. Like, how do I recognize him?

Speaker 2 And they are like, you don't know who that is?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You don't know who that is?

Speaker 2 Oh my God. We are on tour.

Speaker 1 That's the name Jet. And I'm like, I was just trying to fucking eat some sandwiches.

Speaker 2 Like, come on, guys.

Speaker 2 I was cool. I was fine on the radar for just a second.

Speaker 1 My wife does it. She'll blow my spot up all the time.
And like, they like don't even care. The internet, the way it is, is like people will like see you like, oh my God, and then some people like it.

Speaker 1 All or nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's all or nothing. So my wife will just be like, oh, well, actually,

Speaker 1 my husband's a comedian online. I'm like, bro, will you play? I was stopped doing it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's weird to sell it.

Speaker 1 I don't want that. And she's like, I'm just so proud.
But I'm like, don't do that.

Speaker 2 She said she's proud. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I know they do it because they're proud of their role, like what we do together. You know what I mean? Like, because we're building a thing and there's such inclusivity and, and,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 really, we're really building a thing. And so.
I know they're proud of it, but I'm like, well, just let me just.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. I don't want to talk about it.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's.

Speaker 2 Which is weird because I rarely even wear this jacket.

Speaker 1 i don't even want to be who i am like but i really

Speaker 1 but no it's uh it is weird because it's one of those things like if you were like a dentist and you had 40 fucking dental practices and you're making millions of dollars people won't freak out like that there's something about show business that gets it like rocks people to their core because i'll go a step further and say

Speaker 2 yes for sure but then the social media like it's a whole because

Speaker 2 they are taking they're they're taking a shit and holding you like this

Speaker 2 some people are like dude i got your stuff on autoplay on my tv i don't even watch tv anymore or i got like the amount of connection is nuts like

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 i i got i got out of a uber two hours before my show where my where my assistant and merch manager was late and i had to bring in a crate and this husband pulled up with his wife they were looking for parking at that moment the wife jumped out the the car,

Speaker 2 runs around the front of the car and beelines straight to me. I'm like, shit.
And I dropped the thing and I just book it, right?

Speaker 2 And she chases me, and there's like this light post. I grab the light post and do like, you know, how you can spin around.
And I do that. I ricochet back the other way.
Her husband gets off the car.

Speaker 2 He's like, she's a fan.

Speaker 1 She loves you, bro. And I'm like, yeah, I get all that.
Well, fuck that. Like, I'm playing now.
Yeah, you're fucking. But she's like, I can we just

Speaker 1 can we just get a picture?

Speaker 1 I'm like, come on. Yeah, that's always awkward.
And the husband's like, yeah, say cheat.

Speaker 2 Like, while the love of his life is like,

Speaker 1 dude,

Speaker 1 that is the most, that is the most, that's the most uncomfortable possible. When it's like,

Speaker 1 what role, though? Her, him, or me? You and him, I would say. I think she's having a great time.
I'd say him the most. Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 I've like, yeah, sometimes the pictures, you'll feel like just someone mash their tits into you and you're like, yo, get off me, dude. Your fucking husband's thinking is that.

Speaker 2 This happened to me in.

Speaker 1 I might start being like, get off of me, ma'am.

Speaker 2 Get off of me. Back the fuck up.

Speaker 1 I'll take a picture of you, too.

Speaker 2 That was in Austin. Was it in Austin?

Speaker 2 Yes, this was here in Austin, the Moody.

Speaker 2 And so two days ago. And this lady came up and her collar was all smushed inside of itself.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And she had to meet and greet and we were, you know, take a picture. And I was like, well, hold on, your collar's not fixed.
And I went to a guy.

Speaker 2 I was like, well, do you have a husband or anything like that? And he's like, oh, yeah, he's not here. I was like,

Speaker 2 let's just fix your collar.

Speaker 1 Fix her collar.

Speaker 2 And like, it's still stuck. Her purse is cutting a titty off.
I'm like, so I grab the shot. I'm like, let's move that, move that, move that, fix that.

Speaker 2 All right, we're ready. You ready? She's like, I'm ready.
I'm like, cool. We take the picture.
And then,

Speaker 2 and then she walks forward to like the exit because the entrance and exit is separate. And she's like, oh, yeah.
And that's my husband. I'm like, what?

Speaker 2 And this big ass light-skinned dude is like, yeah, man. I'm like, she said you weren't here, bro.

Speaker 1 He's like, nah, I thought I heard her do this shit.

Speaker 2 She be doing this kind of shit in public, fucking around.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, I feel like a dickhead for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 2 She literally was like, he's not here.

Speaker 1 But again, if it were like, if you were just like, yeah, I own fucking 47,

Speaker 1 you know, Carrabas and people, they don't give a fuck. It's like, wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 If your image gets plastered onto a screen, it like deifies people and people get, they think it's like a big deal.

Speaker 2 And it's like, well, let's, I'll, I'll, I'll say they do know, but it's not like it's different. Like, people know at their church because they're like tithe and they're like, oh, are you ballin'?

Speaker 2 Or they know at Rotary or wherever, like,

Speaker 2 it's a meeting of those kind of, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But this is just, this is just different.
So I don't know how in the hell I'm gonna date. You got lucky.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You got in there beforehand and all that, but I don't know, you know, and I never, I never thought this was one, this was, uh,

Speaker 2 you know, this is an offshoot of what

Speaker 1 I was asking you, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I'm saying of fame. Like, I wanted, like, this was always a put, I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get after it.

Speaker 2 And now now it's like, God damn, I can't find a woman that doesn't, that just, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, but like, well, there's, they'll burn out on me. I want to meet you.

Speaker 2 I'm like, you are meeting me. No, but like, the you, that's not like the separate from the comic.

Speaker 1 They'll say that?

Speaker 2 I'm what I do. I've been doing this for 20 years.
I am what I do now. I'm a comic.
Like, you can't say, like, well, who do you think you're meeting?

Speaker 2 And then they'll say my government name, like, I want to meet Nathaniel. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.
No one's called me that since Little League Baseball.

Speaker 1 And then you're supposed to be like,

Speaker 1 and then you're supposed to be like, well, let's just be buddies. After you said that, it's like, dude, I'm I don't even know what it is.

Speaker 2 Oh, I would, here's another thing. So there's a check how awkward this shit is.
So there's another Nate Jackson, right?

Speaker 2 Like anybody Googles themselves, there's probably another your name somewhere for sure. Yeah.
Okay. Well, there's two for me.
There's a white guy that plays guitar.

Speaker 2 And so I would say like year five of my career, I was in the number one spot on Google Pass.

Speaker 1 You're battling the other Nate Jackson at first.

Speaker 2 At six. And then, but then, so there was was a backup tight end third stringer for the Denver Broncos that wrote a book about smoking weed and playing football.

Speaker 1 Second.

Speaker 2 And as soon as the book dropped, he went ricocheted into the first

Speaker 2 and dropped me back like five pages. No, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But now I'm back in the number one spot, just whatever. Sure.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 I'm on a date, and it'll happen every now and then where somebody's like, How long did you play for the Broncos?

Speaker 2 Because they Googled and I didn't play in the league, right? But it still comes up if you search sometimes.

Speaker 2 If you just type Nate Jackson, but if you type comedian Nate Jackson, it's all me.

Speaker 2 So I was on a date, and the girl was like, What was it like playing for the Broncos?

Speaker 2 And the only place on earth that it says that is Google.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, you Google me?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, that's to me, that's weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is fucking weird. But no, actually, for women, it makes sense, though, because they got to do like a thorough investigation to make sure, like, you're not going to kill them.

Speaker 2 So they all. But they, I'm a con, like, you know,

Speaker 2 yeah i'm not a guy she met in passing like she was at a show and there we are at a dinner and she's like how long did you play for like you went further to google and ask

Speaker 1 yeah you should you should have been like you know it was pretty hard

Speaker 2 elway was a motherfucker

Speaker 1 i didn't always get a kick out i had friends that would like completely lie to women and that was like their move they'd be like like i was like it was like years and years ago But I've had friends that'd be like, yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Like we were like younger. Like, yeah, like I own a business.
So, you know, we work together. And I'd be sitting there like, oh, fallacy.

Speaker 2 You don't own a business but i'm like yeah that was always a wild move yeah i had a i remember i was in the movies and uh one of my homes there was like a a scene where like the guy had like a lot of game and my homeboy out loud was like oh i'm gonna use that

Speaker 2 but it blew my mind at the time i was like wait what you can procure game from just mimicking this kind of shit definitely

Speaker 2 i didn't know that i was like you gotta be who you are

Speaker 1 i'm gonna be who he was he was in that movie it's a good move move you like you're with that no i would i would never lie like that i always felt weird being like because then it's like they're gonna find out eventually but like i i had friends that would just like cook up these wild lies

Speaker 1 like one time one time my boy was throwing the hood of other people's cars and shit like it was his yeah one time i did tell a girl i played on i was a visiting la salle and i i just like told this girl that i played i think like soccer or football for some reason.

Speaker 1 I think somebody said that about me just fucking with her. And I was like, yeah, I play football.
And I think we made out because of that. So I saw me.
That's my bad. But I was hammered.

Speaker 1 I don't remember. But I do remember I stole football at all.

Speaker 2 I almost got a hand job in college for saying I was a Seahawk.

Speaker 1 What? So

Speaker 2 they did their spring training in Cheney, Washington at Eastern Washington University, where I was a student. And so they would offer you to stay over the summer and like help the preseason stuff.

Speaker 2 And all you're doing is just like bringing them water and making sure the cones and stuff are set out and showing them around town or whatever. But like

Speaker 1 it's a small, rural,

Speaker 2 populous town.

Speaker 2 Like, as a black man, like, it's not as far jump for someone to assume you're in town during the summer because you're a Seahawk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Right.
And I was like, yeah, I am.

Speaker 2 I was signing autographs. As a Seahawk? My name, Nate Jackson, number 67, or whatever.

Speaker 2 How much for autograph? I'm like, well, I don't know, five bucks, something for a sandwich.

Speaker 1 No problem.

Speaker 2 I must have made 15 bucks and signed a couple footballs.

Speaker 1 And almost got a hand job. That's not bad.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But

Speaker 2 I didn't sign it to say, oh, like, I wasn't like

Speaker 2 emulating that just because, like, it was like this most innocent little kid that was like, Can you sign my ball?

Speaker 1 And I was like, Uh,

Speaker 2 it kid, yeah, here you're gonna explain this, yeah, like, and then not only that, 60% of the people that are out there playing that are Seahawks won't be in three weeks, anyways.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true, you know what I'm saying? They're not making coverage, and he googles it and he's like, Holy fuck, dude, he played for the Broncos, but I got him.

Speaker 1 I think he's hilarious, yeah,

Speaker 1 for sure.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, we're at an hour, man. Thanks for doing this, this, bro.
That's crazy you flew in. I really appreciate that, man.
For real.

Speaker 2 No, I appreciate you for having me, man.

Speaker 2 I hope that,

Speaker 2 one,

Speaker 2 that we're friends now. Friends.
And then, two, that, you know, the avid people that watch this can appreciate this dynamic that we have. For sure.
This was fun and organic. It's awesome, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I hope it splashes and hits well.

Speaker 1 So there's going to be somebody like, who's this fucking fat black dude?

Speaker 2 But there's also somebody else that's like, oh, my fucking God. Exactly.
I want more of that.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah, dude. That's what I'm talking about.
I just want people having a good time, man.

Speaker 2 And so you're invited. Come to my club.

Speaker 1 Dude, please. That'd be sick.

Speaker 2 For sure. And

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 2 I give healthy deals. I want you to eat what you kill.
Okay. Hell yeah.
I mean, and we're at, it's in Tacoma, Washington, so we're like 30 minutes south of Seattle. Right on.

Speaker 2 And there's another club in town called the Tacoma Comedy Club.

Speaker 1 I did that one once.

Speaker 2 They're cool. No hate, but we're the other club.

Speaker 1 We're

Speaker 2 bigger and nicer and and newer. Nice.

Speaker 2 But you can still go there. And obviously, I'm a comic, so I'm like, feed your family.
I give

Speaker 1 whatever you got to do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but this is me inviting you to. I appreciate it, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 once I get a new hour, dude, I'll swing there. Yeah.
Or even Corey, even if you're working it. Fuck Tacoma, dude.
I'm even worried about the. What's it called? The Tacoma Comedy Club?

Speaker 1 I don't want you to say fucking. I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking around. They were nice.
They were very nice.

Speaker 2 I don't want you to say fuck them. I know.
I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. I'm kidding.
No, they could use another. No, fuck them.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they were very nice, actually. Oh, they're cool, man.
It's just fun to say that.

Speaker 2 The owner, as we used to, he's a stand-up originally.

Speaker 1 Well, he really always worked too.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Alright.

Speaker 2 Funny guy. Nice.
And so, no, I'm not knocking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm purely.

Speaker 2 It's hard to run a club, man. So anybody that's doing it, I'm like, dog, I got appreciation and respect.
Even the competitions.

Speaker 1 Oh, why don't you just have sex with one of your waitresses at your club? That's hell no.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 Frankly, you shouldn't fuck anybody that works for you.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? People found out about you too.

Speaker 1 Sheesh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got to get back to 69 and actually

Speaker 1 really working in early.

Speaker 2 I just heard about this shit called a rainbow kiss.

Speaker 1 What's that?

Speaker 2 We don't have time. I think I...

Speaker 2 We don't have time, and it's the nastiest shit I've ever heard of. But the kids are doing it now.

Speaker 1 Come on, tell me what it is. I can't do it.
Well, it'll be a great way to end.

Speaker 2 You'll just have to. They need to look it up.

Speaker 1 I'll look it. I'll Google it afterwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let me see it real quick, dude. Okay.
I want to see what a rainbow. Could you give me a rainbow kiss?

Speaker 2 It's a new thing for the kids.

Speaker 1 Images, please. No, don't actually show it.
Don't show.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just heard about that. This is what the kids are doing.

Speaker 1 A supposed sex act in which a man and woman who is menstruating simultaneously perform oral sex on 29.

Speaker 1 Followed by a kiss where the couple's makes a seminar blood in their mouth. Yeah, that's disgusting.

Speaker 2 That's what the kids are doing.

Speaker 1 No way, dude. Yeah.
That's so fucking nasty.

Speaker 2 And there's another one called a snowball kiss or something something like that, where she just like hawked who was in your mouth.

Speaker 1 After is this supposed to like then? I think after you're like, if you do a rainbow kiss, you do, I will give it to you if you want to be like, yo, I'm non-binary.

Speaker 1 I'll be like, yeah, you earned it, bro.

Speaker 1 You have transcended all of sexuality. That's way past either of the spectrums that we got.
For sure. I will call them like, zur.
If you do a rainbow kiss, I'll be like, yes, zero.

Speaker 1 I fully respect you.

Speaker 1 That's wonderful.

Speaker 2 Do I tell them where to find me and stuff?

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, plug those shit. Okay, so Mr.
Nate Jackson on Instagram and TikTok and Nate Jackson Comedy on YouTube. And so on TikTok and Instagram and Facebook, we release two clips a day of

Speaker 2 stand-up or crowd work or whatever, two clips a day. Something will tickle your fancy.

Speaker 2 And then once a month at my club, I do an eight-camera shoot called the Crowdwork Joint where I only do crowd work for an hour.

Speaker 1 It started off.

Speaker 2 It was just a challenge. That's awesome.
Well, now there's like 14 of them i've been doing them all year long and they

Speaker 1 cumulatively have like 15 million views or something like they're going psycho well dude that's how whenever people like you know you hear someone i always just pop up the instagram watch the first clip and i watch yours i'm like damn that's hilarious and i was like yeah right away i always do that i'm like hilarious thank you but i mean i'm just glad that like i get to show that I'm gifted in that way.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Yeah. Because like you can go viral for anything you put online essentially.
And I'm glad I'm not just like online every week wearing wearing a wig or something.

Speaker 2 I know what you're saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 they're very funny. They're very fucking funny.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 But yeah, so on YouTube is where that experience is. So, and I'm on tour right now.
It's called the Super Funny World Tour. And I'm rolling and it's going really good.

Speaker 2 So for 2023 and clubs, I sold more tickets than any other comic in America. And then for, yeah,

Speaker 1 name them.

Speaker 2 I beat them. Damn.
I did 17 shows in one week in Chicago and broke the record.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's been a lot. And then, so 2024 transitioning to theaters has been awesome.
And so we'll see what happens next and where that's going and stuff. But I just want the people to tap in.

Speaker 2 Sick, dude. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, man.

Speaker 2 We should do something together.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Let me let me try my hand at crowd work. I'm, I'm terrible at crowd work.
I only

Speaker 2 do crowd work on the road. I'll do some.

Speaker 1 You say it's like a show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's do the show. You do, we each do a chunk of time and that's the show.
Let's do it. Hope you saw it.

Speaker 1 Let's do it, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm down, dude. I can't wait.
Right,

Speaker 1 that's a fucking deal, dude. Bro, appreciate you.
Thanks for doing the do. Um,

Speaker 1 I feel evil selling that stuff, dude.

Speaker 2 I'm wired. I went from like yawning to like, let's fucking pay part cheesy.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, thanks. Thank you, man.

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