Ep 522 - Rock N' Roll Synagogue (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 1 The sunroom,

Speaker 1 it's beautiful here, but I don't want to.

Speaker 1 We'd have to bring a couch in.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to

Speaker 1 put some bar stools in. Hi, Rich.

Speaker 1 This chair is phenomenal. It's game day, Steve.
It's a comfy chair. Yeah.
It really is great.

Speaker 1 But even in that chair, you can only get maybe four hours of college football done that's a lot you gotta lay down that's why yeah you need you gotta elevate the legs you gotta lay down for the eight o'clock games okay especially notre damn stanford's gonna be a nice boring one

Speaker 1 my new friend is watching um yeah i guess this is worth the games today your new friend is watching football today i'm making all sorts of friends at this country club you're making friends at the country

Speaker 1 they're just like marrying so you made a friend at the country club today and they told you they were going to watch college football later? Today was the first time. Are we

Speaker 1 recording? Oh, yeah, we are

Speaker 1 recording. Yes,

Speaker 1 we weren't.

Speaker 1 This is not the first time that we've played. This was the first time we scheduled to play together.
And you guys set that up. You said, hey, do you want to play together? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it is actually...

Speaker 1 If you're playing with people that aren't, you know, like man, they're like man children or stuff like that. Like, you could play with like real bummer of people.
What do you mean by a man child?

Speaker 1 Like, like grown men that get like really upset when they start playing poorly. Oh, that's good.
Yeah, really fucking uncomfortable. I thought you met dudes that were out there having fun.

Speaker 1 No, no, drinking a little. No, like, do they do they forbid that at your country clubs? No, no, no.
Some guys very much do that. Get fucking hammered.
Of course, that's not me.

Speaker 1 I'd love it. You'd have such golf fun when you're drunk.
No, no.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 It is for a little bit, and then your game falls apart. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Didn't you?

Speaker 1 One of my favorite stories of all time was you not playing and getting drunk with your puppy

Speaker 1 and just talking shit to them the whole time. My friends had a very serious golf competition.

Speaker 1 They split into two teams, and then me and my one friend O'Leary, who wasn't playing, just drove a golf cart back and forth watching them and just getting hammered, just screaming at them while they were playing.

Speaker 1 They got like really, they became man children.

Speaker 1 Fuck my fucking backswing, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, shut the fuck up. You hit like a 120.
They, for real, shot like 120s. And I was like, you can't be upset.
Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you just put it the cart in reverse during the backswing. It's so good.
That is the most frustrating.

Speaker 1 The backswing thing drives me crazy, especially when I like, I've never played with anyone who's nearly good enough to be able to justify. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like you're not that focused. And you're not that good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But for that noise, you would have no.

Speaker 1 So anyway.

Speaker 1 But you made a friend. I did.
And he's lived up to XJ. He's cool.
Yeah. He's just like cool.

Speaker 1 I have like one one other friend that i with more friends yeah so tomorrow i'm gonna we're touching clubs like a dog parking weirdos

Speaker 1 you're meeting friends no no no no they're all just like normal you know

Speaker 1 yeah so hold on what were you saying before we got started about you said something about

Speaker 1 sex oh well because you were talking about tim waltz oh tim waltz being called a pedophile on the internet today so what is that story i don't i don't know i don't think it's i you know it sounds like it's just a tweet, so you never know.

Speaker 1 I would say it's definitely not true, but.

Speaker 1 Who knows?

Speaker 1 Those guys seem fucking insane. He's got a little bit of that face going on.

Speaker 1 That's a tough one. No, no, no.
I don't subscribe to that at all because I feel like I have that face going on. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 If you were to chubby, yeah. No.
If you were chubby, you'd look fucked up. Yeah.
You got like dark eyelashes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Looks like you're wearing an eyeliner. You look fucking insane.

Speaker 1 I know. People, like, occasionally I get accused of that very seriously.
Of what? Wearing an eyeliner. Oh, no.
And there's no talking somebody out of that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's the source. You pour water on it.
What do you do?

Speaker 1 You can't. You just go like, dude, I'm not.
But then you also don't want to

Speaker 1 justify it. Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Feed into it. This guy said, okay, Tim, I guess now would be a good time to drop my October surprise.
You remember him, right?

Speaker 1 The real person you walked away, the real reason you walked away from teaching, the kid who spent the night at your home, the one you went to the gay bar with, the reason the school board had a meeting about you.

Speaker 1 What do you think, Tim? Should I drop that now or should I wait another week or so? You know, the student you were having sex with, the male student you were having sex with?

Speaker 1 They don't call you Touchdown Timmy because you were the football coach. Oh, wait, you lied about that also.
You were the assistant coach. What do you think, Tim?

Speaker 1 You remember the Indigo Girls concert, right? The gay bar, spending the night, and of course, the school board meeting. I think it's time, Tim.
Touchdown Timmy. You were touchy, all right.

Speaker 1 Did I write this?

Speaker 1 This is really good.

Speaker 1 Was that like a screen? You guys just rewinding your special?

Speaker 1 Figured out how to write it.

Speaker 1 That was from the very reliable black insurrectionist I follow back Patriots.

Speaker 1 I follow back.

Speaker 1 That's a reliable source. Does he follow you? No, I don't know.
I didn't check. I didn't check.
Although he might have got a follow from me after this. That's fucking quality work.
Touchdown, Timmy.

Speaker 1 But he's right. That is the one thing that bothered me.

Speaker 1 Stealing head coach Valor is crazy. He said he was a head coach and he was assistant.
Yeah, he was assistant.

Speaker 1 He was a high school assistant football coach. Maybe.
You want to put one of those guys at the White House? Those are literally the biggest retalks. Wait, Tim Waltz? Yeah, Tim Waltz.

Speaker 1 He was a vice president. Yes.
Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Not yet, liberal. He seemed to be vice president.
Oh, yeah. I forgot your red bill.

Speaker 1 He's his base.

Speaker 1 I thought you guys were talking about like a coach for a football team. No, no, no.
No, no, we're talking about touchdown Timmy Walls. Gotcha.

Speaker 1 He was a coach for a football team, and he looked into the state championship. It was an offensive-driven.
He's an offensive coordinator. They made this video where it looks like he was the coach.

Speaker 1 State championship was a freshman day. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry. This is not good for podcasting, but watch.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at that ball. They found the one clip of him.

Speaker 1 Touching kisses. Like he won.
Like he was the coach.

Speaker 1 He did. Maybe the head coach was just kind of a figurehead.

Speaker 1 He was like late days paternal. I think it was gay.
I guess he might have been exactly a

Speaker 1 walterating at hell.

Speaker 1 You think a gay pedophile could have been the defensive coordinator, touching on Timmy Walls?

Speaker 1 That's a tough allegation. Was he the D coordinator? I don't know.
I hope not. For his sake.

Speaker 1 Little Sandusky action for you. What does a head coach do of a football team? It depends on what they it varies.
Okay. Sometimes they're the play callers.
Sometimes they call the defense.

Speaker 1 Sometimes they don't do either. And they just kind of make the final call on things.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know. I don't know if Marcus Freeman for Notre Dame calls

Speaker 1 plays at all. I think he.
He is Denbrock on offense and Golden. Right.

Speaker 1 He probably helps with the defense. Anyway.
I thought he did. I thought he took over last year or something calling defensive plays or something.

Speaker 1 I don't think alcohol is pretty good. Yeah.
Yeah. Now, what was the sexual thing, Stephen? Because we were talking about Timmy Walls being possibly a gay pedophile.
Right.

Speaker 1 What I was saying, because you had mentioned that there was some LGBTQ. I think he was taking an LGBT club from his high school to China with him on some trips.
Allegedly.

Speaker 1 These are all crazy allegations. He's going to Thailand.

Speaker 1 What was it? Black Patriot.

Speaker 1 Black follow back on the black insurrectionist.

Speaker 1 Sick name.

Speaker 1 I was just

Speaker 1 saying that it's very hard

Speaker 1 to not fool yourself into what you're doing to have sex with people. That didn't come out right.
Yeah, yeah. Not trick yourself into yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to not lie to yourself about what your actual motives are.

Speaker 1 Really, it's like, I'm trying to have sex with somebody. Yeah.
And then you've got all this other stuff. The only thing I can do is put together an LGBT

Speaker 1 China.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hear you. You're like, I'm doing this.
It's a good thing. Yeah, yeah.
Just in the back of your head. You're a woman's march.

Speaker 1 And then you go, yeah,

Speaker 1 and you hear that in the back of your head and you go, no. Yeah.
That's not me. That face.
So I don't know if that.

Speaker 1 Like, I was

Speaker 1 going to have

Speaker 1 sex

Speaker 1 or whatever.

Speaker 1 He gave me the

Speaker 1 that his girlfriend was

Speaker 1 coming to visit. Yeah, so I was

Speaker 1 conjugal.

Speaker 1 And then he just kept making that face to me did you see that trying to burn it in between takes i was like when you're performing oral sex i said steven are you gonna perform i mean you're getting makeup put on you too yeah stephen are you gonna perform oral sex tonight and he was like yes

Speaker 1 they was like when you're doing it i want you to see this face

Speaker 1 But he powered through. And no, I didn't even power through.
I totally forgot about it.

Speaker 1 And then after I was coming out of the bathroom, I was like, yes.

Speaker 1 Because then I thought about it.

Speaker 1 And the woman hurt. Yeah.
When you were cleaning up. She said, why'd you just say yes?

Speaker 1 Dude, when you're cleaning up the mess.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you remember the story about Matt? Like, how you found out that he got a flashlight, which was like, you guys were sitting, and then UPS showed up and he was like, yes. I go, what's that?

Speaker 1 Nothing. Then he ran to the door and goes, I got a flashlight.
I got two of them. Do you want one? I was like, yeah, dude.
That's great

Speaker 1 because then buy one get one free and then we both went to our chambers and when we emerged we both kind of quietly were like

Speaker 1 this is too powerful it's too powerful

Speaker 1 i've never actually used one

Speaker 1 yeah you go you would go nuts on these things holy can you imagine what he would do yeah he loves devices Do you think the way he puts like his phone on like a shot above his bed?

Speaker 1 He'd have that thing

Speaker 1 attached to something. What this would be

Speaker 1 get rid of that mic.

Speaker 1 Things, yeah. I don't mind, but that's.
I wonder if you could attach a flashlight to the boom arm.

Speaker 1 I'm sure you could. Now we're talking.
Just fuck it. You should, you should ask touchdown Timmy Walls.

Speaker 1 That might be one he could answer. Go to a town hall and be like,

Speaker 1 Could you attach a flashlight to a boom mic?

Speaker 1 There we go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm a knock-led.

Speaker 1 He does get crazy. Who's going to win? Who's going to win?

Speaker 1 It's a coin flip.

Speaker 1 It's a coin flip. Come on, bro.
If it's a coin flip, you know they're stealing it. We're going to be shooting it if it's close.
We're going to get the old 2 a.m. Oh, we found 900,000 votes.

Speaker 1 If you challenge the election, you're a piece of shit. Dude, it's the day after the election.

Speaker 1 I hope it's just all b-roll. Just you

Speaker 1 by yourself on set.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 I don't want to reap the whirlwind.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Oh, yeah.
We're going to be on set. Yeah, it's election day.

Speaker 1 That's going to be. That's going to be so fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Either way,

Speaker 1 if Trump loses, I'll get to make fun of you. I'll be like, nice going, dude.
You ruined the country. Right.

Speaker 1 You got a fuzzy on your cheek.

Speaker 1 Ooh, this one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it's been good. Tires has been great.
Tires has been. You've been incredible.
You've been incredible.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 you've been incredible. It's a week, but it's been a fun week.
Nailed it. God damn.
Do you forget how hard actually working is? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like the biggest pussy of all time. I can't believe you're actually doing it.
If I was like at your level, I think I'd be like, guys, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I got to be honest, I'm starting to be like, I'm not coming in at the fucking system.

Speaker 1 And I'm yelling at these poor people that are working there. I'm like, dude, why would I get here at 5.30 in the morning? Yeah,

Speaker 1 like those long days, I have that in the back of my head where I'm like, he doesn't need to be doing this.

Speaker 1 No, I do.

Speaker 1 If you're asking somebody to stay to party too long, you're like 12-hour. I definitely need to do it.
It's the best. But

Speaker 1 that first day, 5.30, wake up. That was great.
I was like. The first day,

Speaker 1 I was like, this is going to be for four fucking months.

Speaker 1 I'm going to kill myself. Stop has been so good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Schultz and Tommy were great. Everything's good, so Kyla's been fucking killing her.
Oh, my God. If she wasn't asleep, she'd be on the pod.

Speaker 1 We might be able to do that. Obviously, yeah, you too.
Yeah. No, thank you.
Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Didn't say Chris.

Speaker 1 Didn't we do that at the premiere? Yeah, yeah. Just literally, we're just up there.

Speaker 1 He was dying.

Speaker 1 He was dying.

Speaker 1 It was full panic mode, but also no one was like, oh, yeah, O'Connor. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chris was just sitting there.

Speaker 1 At the end, they just brought up like a little stool for me to sit on.

Speaker 1 That was, yeah, that was a surreal experience, though. I also like it when we got up on stage.
I was like, what do we?

Speaker 1 We didn't have anything. What do you say? That was one of the worst pieces of shit.

Speaker 1 Poor Brandon from Rough House just up there.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 1 You guys, how do you get in a character? Yeah. It's like, none of us do.
These are all us.

Speaker 1 Well, I was giving them one-word answers. The instinct has like turned it into a podcast.
We were just talking about jerking off and like fingering posting.

Speaker 1 I recently talked about Steve's sexual proclivities. That's all I got.
But yeah, waking up early and then

Speaker 1 driving home tired.

Speaker 1 Being like, how the fuck? I forgot how big of a pussy I was. Dude.
People actually. Also, we're not even working.
Right.

Speaker 1 We're just there literally laying on a recliner until it's time to do three minutes of work. Then you sit back on a recliner and go, what the fuck are you doing, Steve?

Speaker 1 Bitch. Fuck you, O'Connor, bitch.
And it's also not even a situation where there's no end in sight. You know what I mean? When you're working a day job and you're like, oh, this is my life.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is forever until

Speaker 1 this, you like know it will be over in December. I got that in the back of my head, though.
The whole time I'm like, I don't want to do any more acting.

Speaker 1 This sucks. Stand up so good.

Speaker 1 Stand up for one hour. Then you go home.

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Car keys, phone, chapstick, glasses. Headphones.
There you go. And I lose them all the time.

Speaker 1 That's why I use wired headphones now. Ooh.

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Someone I have a hard time shopping for. I have a tough time finding Le Maire gifts.
Really?

Speaker 1 And I like to spoil them.

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Speaker 1 But the staff, too, they're showing up like an hour before we even get there and then an hour after. Dude, this fucking sound guys, that job actually is hard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just holding a fucking thing all day. Yeah.
Christian? I'd be cranky if I were them. It reminds me of the Temple Owl guy who does this the whole time.

Speaker 1 No, Saint Joe's Hawk.

Speaker 1 He just, the whole game just hits him. He has to flap his wings the entire game.

Speaker 1 Did you know that? He stands there the whole time.

Speaker 1 Just three hours.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Damn.
It's crazy. And there's no point.
There's no reason for him to go.

Speaker 1 He goes, he's still doing it.

Speaker 1 That's the whole point. If someone goes, you know, he flaps his wings the whole game.
Yeah. I love college, the tradition of college basketball.

Speaker 1 We got it. There's a guy in the worst hawk costume.

Speaker 1 It's great. The hawk costume's 60 years old.

Speaker 1 It's just a couple feathers coming off his arm.

Speaker 1 It's nice. It's not like a fun, big, like gritty or fanatic.
It's like almost skin tight. It's like a kid's Halloween costume that the parents made.

Speaker 1 It's dog shit.

Speaker 1 That'll actually be fun.

Speaker 1 I want to go to some of those games. Ooh, is that a Big Five games? Sick fucking outfit.
I take it back. Look at that thing.

Speaker 1 He's running around. I was wrong.
They must have got to upgrade. He's running around.
They must have got to upgrade, yeah. I mean, it is shitty.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 Especially when he's just standing there by himself in the corner of the. Yeah, it looks like a big rug.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good stuff. What else is going on other than Cancho's hawk? I had a shitty morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I woke up.
I woke up.

Speaker 1 I was trying to get

Speaker 1 a cabinet that a TV can rise out of.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah. Why'd you do that? For in here.

Speaker 1 But I was looking online. I thought they would be like, I thought they'd be like $500.

Speaker 1 They're $3,000. Jeez.
Yeah, a remote control thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How the fuck are you getting that for?

Speaker 1 Because I thought it would be nice in the room. It wouldn't block the windows.
And you could have a TV in here to watch some college football. Right now, we just have it sitting on the table.

Speaker 1 It's an eyesore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're definitely not watching football.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 He wants to put that on a glass table and have us sit in these chairs and watch like a fucking board meeting because Zoom calls.

Speaker 1 that's crazy. It'll be nice.

Speaker 1 Steve's going to the bar with us. We're going to have a couple of things.
No, no, Steve's not because Steve's got a

Speaker 1 cack song.

Speaker 1 All the more reason to get a little buzz.

Speaker 1 I haven't had a drink in.

Speaker 1 Filming's also ruined drinking.

Speaker 1 You can't drink, dude. I'm not drinking.
It sucks. Yeah, because I was at the writer's room, even just trying to come up with ideas.
It was, I couldn't, I had such like brain fog. So same thing.

Speaker 1 Fucking bullshit, dude. Yeah, you can't.
Yeah, I can't drink the night before I drink. I can't do it twice in two weeks.
Yeah. That's that's crazy.
No, it blows.

Speaker 1 And I'm not going to get any days off the rest, I don't think. There's a lot of days where I'm not off.
Like

Speaker 1 a lot of weeks. Yeah.
I think you feel good. Yeah, you feel good.
Yeah. But it's not worth it, dude.
I don't know what the fuck all these people are talking about. It blows.
Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you get a clear head. It's nice.
It's nice when you wake up. Yeah, it's amazing.
Going to to sleep sucks. It does.
Not like because it's hard to sleep without it.

Speaker 1 It's just like, what do you want to do tonight? I don't know. No, you just fucking watch Netflix.
Yeah, Harry Potter marathon. I'm going to watch more about the Menendez brothers.

Speaker 1 I've been watching fucking 900 hours of the Menendez. What's going on with that one? Is that

Speaker 1 the same guy who made the Dahmer thing? Is it as horny as the Dahmer one? Yeah, this one's pretty horny.

Speaker 1 Because they said they got raped by their dad.

Speaker 1 It's a good defense after you kill a guy. He was actually raping us.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you tell anyone before that?

Speaker 1 No, I forgot to tell anybody. That's the Spacey playbook.
It is a nice playbook.

Speaker 1 I just want everyone to know that I am gay. Yeah.
It's also funny,

Speaker 1 women are always like, they're so hot because they're hot in the show. Then I was like, do you want to see what these guys like? Women love

Speaker 1 murderers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They want to be... I think there's...
Lyle and Eric are hot. I looked at a picture of them.
I was was like these guys look like literal dipshits oh man these dipshits Yeah, but they're rich

Speaker 1 They were rich for a week and then they got caught for blowing their parents brains out is that how they did it? Oh, that's how they did it in their house with shotguns. Well, it was their house.

Speaker 1 They just walked downstairs and shot their parents while they were watching TV. God, that's terrifying.
It is.

Speaker 1 Are we giving anything away if we talk about the thing that you had this or whatever in the in the show? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Give it a shot.

Speaker 1 Well, you putting a gun at my face?

Speaker 1 A prop gun? Yeah. It's just terrible.
I didn't know it. You're like clicking and

Speaker 1 gone. Gone.

Speaker 1 Just like.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Maybe you're on to a better place.

Speaker 1 Let's hope. You?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yes.
You think you're going to heaven?

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I'm loving the saved.
You and me, saved time. We get there.
And then God's like, Steve,

Speaker 1 I knew it.

Speaker 1 You want me to get sent to hell?

Speaker 1 You get to win.

Speaker 1 Just first, just be first, dude. Be first.

Speaker 1 You think I'm going to have to wait a little? No.

Speaker 1 They're going to go, hold on a second.

Speaker 1 The fantasy is so funny. It's an insane fantasy.
I've never heard anyone say that. Curly Gates.
And God goes, Steve, I always liked you better. Steve, you are better than Shane.

Speaker 1 No, no, he doesn't say that.

Speaker 1 They They just go, Steve, and then Shane. I go, hmm.
I wonder who got in.

Speaker 1 A little pride through the pearly gates.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a sin. They would cast you down.

Speaker 1 He does remind me of Lucifer. Steve? Yeah, the story.
How does that go? Being God's favorite angel, and then Lucifer was like, I should be God.

Speaker 1 I'm actually the best. It's true.

Speaker 1 There's a degree of truth to that insofar as when you're not around, I do act very differently.

Speaker 1 Who knows?

Speaker 1 Have you witnessed it? What? Him being the fucking cocky guy when I'm not around? Would you describe it as cocky?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 it's a roller coaster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. There's every once in a while.
I feel like everyone's prone to that a little bit. Yeah.
Yeah. For sure.
When you're not around.

Speaker 1 I would love to see some confidence.

Speaker 1 You leave the room and someone's always going, like, all right, fuckers.

Speaker 1 He's out. I'm in charge.
You pieces of shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my propensity to like walk by someone and be like, clean that up. You know? It's a fun thing to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's really fun. Yeah.
Just walk by someone and go pick that up.

Speaker 1 Finish that script right now.

Speaker 1 Turn that hat around. Turn your hat around.
This isn't a fart.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. I was knocking Clay's hat off his head.
I mean, he was doing this to me. Oh, I'm about Clay's fart yesterday.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Clay on the fart. In the middle of me trying to do live, like I was in the middle of what are you, a monologue? Yeah.
I was just, no, just dialogue.

Speaker 1 I was trying to, and he followed me into the room with the camera, and then I'm in there talking. And I just suddenly couldn't think of any line because all I could smell was shit.
Mustard.

Speaker 1 And I was like, but why don't you come out here and do this? I was like, I'm sorry, I can't talk. Somebody farted.
It stinks like shit in here. And he just goes, that was me.
I parted.

Speaker 1 I didn't really fart. It kind of just leaked out.
It's like, God damn, Clay. Yeah, that's why

Speaker 1 we're boys. He is the man.
We fart.

Speaker 1 We just fart. Is that a Laxbro thing? You guys all just.

Speaker 1 I don't know. But you and Clay, dude, skunks.

Speaker 1 Walking around.

Speaker 1 You rip a fart and it stinks. You just go, what?

Speaker 1 My friend today played played the cross. Oh, really? Yeah, your friend.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, you golfer?

Speaker 1 You know, how good a friend are you guys? Not great. You know, we're just a new friend.
It's a new friend, yeah. Is he cool? Yeah, he seems, I mean, you never know.
Is he handsome? Uh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You knew he's watching. No, no, no, he's not a good guy.
I don't know if he was.

Speaker 1 No, you got a couple Drexel dragons at the club. You got a couple dragons alumni.
Oh, okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know. Nearly.
I'm sure he's told me. I don't know.
Neary's floating around. Yeah.
Damn, Damn, you went to Drexel, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I went through that. I went to George Washington, failed out.
Went to Delco Community College, failed out. Oh, shit.
You and me were on bands.

Speaker 1 You're not better than me at all.

Speaker 1 You're literally not better than me at all.

Speaker 1 I thought you'd be a good student. I thought so, too.
I was talking about that.

Speaker 1 I don't focus. I can't pay attention.
Were you partying too hard? No, I just did not care and I just lose focus. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you were not partying. No.
Did you have friends at all? When I went to Drexel? No.

Speaker 1 Because I was working with my dad and dude. I was a quiet loser that wasn't good at school.
And like 25.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Failing out of college is like, yeah. At the age, once you get older, it's the easiest thing in the world.
Yeah. College is so easy.
As long as you just turn things in on time. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's yeah. Which is why I failed.

Speaker 1 I stopped going for a full full semester. I just didn't go to anything.

Speaker 1 I did that. And I had to go back to community college.
No, at community college, I was like, all right, dude.

Speaker 1 We got to turn this thing around. Oh, so you passed community college? I did.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I failed. I did that

Speaker 1 the summer of my freshman year. I had, because Drexel has like a quarter system, I had to be in school for that summer, and I just didn't.

Speaker 1 Just didn't go. Just didn't go.
I got like a 0.2. I was basically.

Speaker 1 You shaved your head and started working out.

Speaker 1 That was it later. That was junior year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember

Speaker 1 you shave your head and work out.

Speaker 1 I went home and, yeah, I freaked out. I shaved my head.

Speaker 1 I shaved my head. My dad came home from work.
He goes, what'd you do with all the hair?

Speaker 1 Oh, I flushed it down the toilet. He was like, fucking great.

Speaker 1 Clogged the toilet. I was like, it was literally day one of my

Speaker 1 turnaround. It was just immediately.

Speaker 1 I'm different now. I'm going to change.
Nice going, shithead.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go for a run.

Speaker 1 You probably did. I did that.
I went for a run, but I had a bowl of cereal.

Speaker 1 I had a bowl of cereal before I went, and I got a mile away from my house and just had explosive diarrhea.

Speaker 1 I had to

Speaker 1 ultimate loser.

Speaker 1 Do you ever have milk and then go on a run? It just shakes every fucking dude. It turns directly into

Speaker 1 I waddled home like collensing my ass in like full like running gear. You know what I mean? Was your dad home when you burst in the door to shit? No, he's gone to work.
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 God, that comment though, what did you do with the hair?

Speaker 1 That would have like, that would have really

Speaker 1 seen red mist. Oh, dude.
Can't you see I'm hurting?

Speaker 1 Wait, fuck your actions. I don't know.
You got to see it from the dad's perspective.

Speaker 1 He was home from like an actual day of work. I'm like just living at the house.
They tried to get me to paint the deck and I couldn't do it. Nothing.
I fucked it up so bad. It was, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 the end of the road, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I got...
At Elon, I quit football, so then I just literally just stopped doing everything. Okay.
And then I went home for Christmas break, and they were like, You're expelled. I was like,

Speaker 1 I was the guy, I was a guy at the bar. They're just like, You're expelled.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I keep forgetting to tell you.

Speaker 1 I keep forgetting to tell you, I tried to do that yesterday. What? When, like, you know, during the one scene where everybody's ganging up on me, I tried, I'm like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, like doubled down on the squint. What

Speaker 1 There was a drunk guy that got served right next to Shane. Was he asleep at the bar when they hit him with it? No,

Speaker 1 he was fine.

Speaker 1 He was just blacked out.

Speaker 1 Get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. This is beautiful.

Speaker 1 Did I tell you the one that the second lip sync contest, did we talk about that last time? Because it was the Michael Jackson one, that was the freshman year.

Speaker 1 No, the sophomore year, because we were talking about like that was freshman year, yeah. Whew, you must have been the man in high school.

Speaker 1 You did a fucking Michael Jackson dance. I looked for a slice.
You see the picture? You got first? Yeah. Fuck yeah.
You also did a thing where you dressed up as Madonna. Madonna.

Speaker 1 That was so that was sophomore year.

Speaker 1 And that was the one I was telling you because your dad being disappointed, like, that is the one thing my mom still gets triggered by to this day because I never like

Speaker 1 cross-dressed or whatever.

Speaker 1 Before, of course, your dad told me, your dad told me halfway through the performance, some guy yelled out, oh no, it's a man. Yeah, oh, he told your wife.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't you just walk around telling her a story?

Speaker 1 You deceived them? You did that one? Yeah, yeah. They got a really sexy lady up there.
You know, big eyelashes I hadn't hit puberty. Yeah, it was like, I guess.

Speaker 1 And my mom, like to this day, when you tell that story, she's just like,

Speaker 1 she's like, yeah, true. I could see it.
Yeah. Put him in a a dress and a wig.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Out and unfortunate looking girl. Tall, tall, slender.
No, I was five, two.

Speaker 1 Ugly girl up there dancing. I support this ugly girl.
Oh, shit. It's a guy.
God damn it. It's a gay guy.

Speaker 1 How'd it go? What happened with Madonna? It was really uncomfortable. It was not as funny as I thought it was going to be.
Like a virgin. And then I did this move where I got down

Speaker 1 with my hand and I humped. And that's what triggered the person who was.
The guy saw your penis. I don't think he saw my penis, but I wasn't wearing tights.
You can see right on my skirt.

Speaker 1 It was terrible.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was really good.

Speaker 1 Why did you do it? This was for a talent show? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you did this totally by yourself. It was a bad choice.
Yeah, I thought it was going to be funny. I thought it was going to be funny.
It wasn't funny.

Speaker 1 Right before you started to stay.

Speaker 1 No one was laughing. No.

Speaker 1 No, I bombed. It was really bad.

Speaker 1 And then right before you got on stage, were you like, I can't wait until they see this? Or did you start to know? Yeah, there's times you start to know. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't remember like all that clear outside of like doing that move and like getting beat red. Oh, okay.
Because you didn't get the response that I was kind of.

Speaker 1 There's a video.

Speaker 1 I need this.

Speaker 1 I need it. Please.

Speaker 1 Just a dead silent auditorium. Can we please put it at the end of the credits of the retires?

Speaker 1 I'll get my mom to start looking. Yeah.
there's a couple different ones. It's going to tear the family apart.
She's going to dig up this. Yeah, she's going to find her trans son.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My dad actually told a funny story to the writers because he was, you know, he was telling about different people he'd hired.

Speaker 1 And he was like, back in 83, this guy interviewed, he'd been in business for like four years. This guy interviewed and he asked, like, why'd you leave your last job?

Speaker 1 And he was like, you ever worked for a fucking Jew?

Speaker 1 And, you know, my dad being Jewish. And so,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 the writers asked him, so what'd you do? And he's like, I hired him.

Speaker 1 Worked for me for four years. Great worker.
We had a lot of fun with that, though. Because he told all the other techs, like, don't say anything about me being Jewish.
Wait till payday.

Speaker 1 And then tell him. But it's just like, it's a hilarious response.

Speaker 1 That's why.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah.
There was also, like, didn't your dad play a prank on one of the techs where he had

Speaker 1 some lady call up and try to fuck one of them? Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 that was terrible

Speaker 1 they were like he got one of there was like an attractive woman that worked in the office and he got her

Speaker 1 you know this was like before internet yeah so

Speaker 1 she was gonna

Speaker 1 be a kid of pressure he was like going and have funny with the manager and telling jesse and like you know act like uh you're trying to you're flirting yeah so she went in there and this whole thing with him like i got a problem with my car you know i don't have a lot of money maybe we could go in the back And he was very much like,

Speaker 1 I can't do that. I'm married.
And then she was like, it's me. Oh, my God.
He was married. Yeah, yeah.
I was like, Dad, why would you do it? That's an evil fucking trick. That's an evil Jewish trick.

Speaker 1 That's such a Jewish trick.

Speaker 1 Go ruin that guy's life.

Speaker 1 Destroy that man's life.

Speaker 1 I sign his checks. I'll do whatever I want with his soul.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That was my reaction.

Speaker 1 Are you crazy to do that?

Speaker 1 It's so fucked up. It's so fucked up.
It's like it's fucked up in multiple ways. It's like you get me all roused and then I'm like making it.
And then if he brought her back,

Speaker 1 he's humiliated in front of the company. And his wife.
And

Speaker 1 the story's going to go around and she's going to hear it eventually. He's going to get a divorce.
An evil Jewish truth.

Speaker 1 What was the voice again? What were you doing? You can try it. No, no.

Speaker 1 Go in there, ruin his life.

Speaker 1 Destroy his soul.

Speaker 1 And my dad would just be like, ah, Steven, you know, we're just having a little fun.

Speaker 1 It's pretty funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How about Phil, FaceTime, and youth? Oh, my God. That was like the joke of the day.
That was nice. Your dad.
So my dad had a very serious health scare.

Speaker 1 That's why I was, yeah, I had to go home a lot and check and see, go to the hospital, which was, that sucks. Yeah, terrible.

Speaker 1 But when he came out of surgery, we FaceTimed him and he was like, how's everything going? He's got like tubes anyway on the worst angle I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 He was literally in a hospital bed. He looked like a harkening.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I was like, Chris is doing good. John's doing great.
Kyle's doing great. Steve sucks.
And he goes,

Speaker 1 Steve sucks.

Speaker 1 And I held the phone to Steve and he goes, Steve sucks.

Speaker 1 Literally on his deathbed.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, pussy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think you're like, Steve isn't doing too good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Steve's ruining it or something. Then he was like, Steve sucks.

Speaker 1 And that was one of my favorite Phil moments of all.

Speaker 1 Right out of the gate, everyone's like, Phil, what's going on? You're doing good. And he goes, I don't need your fucking

Speaker 1 unreal.

Speaker 1 Phil, ultimate warrior. The first time I saw him in the hospital, he was bad.

Speaker 1 And I was like, my mom was, she didn't really tell us how bad it was. She didn't want everyone freaking out.
So I got in there and he was like,

Speaker 1 and I was like, holy fuck, this could be it. Anyway, I kept it together because I didn't want to fire him up because he was on like shit.
I was just like, dad,

Speaker 1 those would have been my last words. I was like, you got this.

Speaker 1 You know her one.

Speaker 1 But then I left and I started, you know, I was tearing up a little, leaving the hospital. And while I'm leaving, I was wearing glasses so the guy wouldn't have seen me visibly crying.

Speaker 1 But I'm leaving, and the guy just goes, Are you Shane Gillis? And I go, Yeah,

Speaker 1 and got in my car and left.

Speaker 1 He goes, Holy shit, are you Shane Gillis? Yeah,

Speaker 1 damn it.

Speaker 1 He's probably like, What the fuck's wrong with that guy? Yeah, that's got to be one of the bizarre things about you get a picture.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 the saddest people catching you at like all your entire range of emotions throughout a day. Tired, wake up, like feeling good.
People were catching you at all.

Speaker 1 Normally, it's good unless it's something like seeing your dad dying. Yeah.
And it's not, then you don't really want to talk to people. Even then, I was like, yeah, what's up, man?

Speaker 1 Hey, how are you?

Speaker 1 Yeah. But then Phil, miraculous, like the next day.

Speaker 1 Then I went back to the hospital the next day and he was

Speaker 1 fine. He was a lot better.
They did. Yeah.
He powered through that. I thought that was looking dicey.
Yeah. That was

Speaker 1 50-50 on that one early. How old is he? 68.
Okay. But he got after it.

Speaker 1 That was funny. He was in the hospital, but I was like, fucking good run, though.
Like, it's a hell of a run. I was like, hell yeah.
Damn, what an attitude. It was funny.
Yeah. It was very funny.

Speaker 1 That phone call was incredible. What, the FaceTime?

Speaker 1 Shut up. Yeah.
I don't need your fucking. Steve sucks.

Speaker 1 Just right out of the gate.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was literally thinking about getting him a card. I know.
That's what he said. He's like, Steve sucks.
You're like, I was going to get him a car.

Speaker 1 I hope he's all right with me talking about his health, but whatever. He's fine now.

Speaker 1 He's doing great. Is he scared? Is he home yet? Tomorrow.
Fuck yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that, oh man. And he's not allowed to drive now for a while.
He's just stuck with my mom.

Speaker 1 He's going to be fucking crazy. He's going to be crazy.
And he's got a chill on the drinking.

Speaker 1 They're definitely saying, you need to stop. And he's like, okay.

Speaker 1 There's no way he stops. He was already like,

Speaker 1 I have a couple a night.

Speaker 1 You have more than a couple. He's like, all right.

Speaker 1 I'll bring it down to a couple a night and work my way back up to where I'm at.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 That is a thing in the medical community.

Speaker 1 Coming back from

Speaker 1 injuries, I just got to build myself.

Speaker 1 Start from square one. Yeah.
Door, I just, I feel like the medical community does not appreciate how much regular people drink. They know.
You think? Yes. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Unless you get like an Indian doctor.

Speaker 1 I went, I told you this before. I went because I had some rotten chicken fingers at a comedy club and fucking destroyed me.
Okay. And I was like, oh, this is serious.

Speaker 1 So I went to a doctor and he was like, so how much do you drink? And I was like,

Speaker 1 probably like 50 beers a week. And he was like, oh my God, your pancreas is failing.
That's what that is. And I was like, I don't.
All right. Then we got the blood worker.

Speaker 1 He was like, everything's fine. He's like, is that how much you drink? Yeah.
I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like a case of beer was like some of the mechanics would drink a case of beer. Yeah, they'd put down a case.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's when you die. You're going to die at 60.
Probably. Yeah.
Yep. Apparently,

Speaker 1 the younger generation doesn't drink as much.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Apparently, they're coming.
They're finding out it's bad for you. Yeah.
Because everybody's parents is dead at fucking

Speaker 1 everything else.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 They're having fun. They're doing everything else.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 that sucked. Seeing Phil.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But whatever. He's back.

Speaker 1 He'll be back. He knew he'd be back.
Yeah, he had to lay there and watch the Phillies lose.

Speaker 1 That's a tough one. Being in a hospital bed watching those fucking games.
Yeah. Just watching the whole team not hit.
Dude, after the Sunday game, though, I was like, they're back.

Speaker 1 I thought so too. I was like, they are back.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They were flat. They were flat the whole the next two games.

Speaker 1 They subbed everyone out.

Speaker 1 Just keep them in there. I didn't even like the fact.
I guess Bohm has been sucking, but I didn't like them benching him in. No.

Speaker 1 Just keep him in. Did they bench Bohm? They benched Bohem them in game two

Speaker 1 oh really yeah oh it was so supplanted uh

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Speaker 1 When I drink my original favorite Mountain Dew, I wrestle with my friends in a way that looks suggestive from far away, but it's for real.

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Speaker 1 Well, that's good baseball talk.

Speaker 1 Back to me. I didn't finish my, I did, I did an evil Jewish trick this morning, I think.

Speaker 1 I kept this, I found like the cabinet thing I was looking for on Facebook Marketplace, and I kept saying I was going to pick it up for like two weeks and just not picking it up.

Speaker 1 And this lady was getting so pissed at me and then stopped responding. And then I like, Sadie called her and was like, Hey, like, we're for real.
We're going to come pick it up.

Speaker 1 And we went there today, and we got in there, and I was just like, It's too big. Oh, they had taken the TV out of the cat, they had unplugged everything, they had gotten it ready to move.

Speaker 1 You gotta just take it, dude. I was this close,

Speaker 1 huge.

Speaker 1 Like, it would fit here. It would, but it would be

Speaker 1 too big. I couldn't do it.
I couldn't. And it weighed 200 pounds, and I had to lift it with.

Speaker 1 There's no. Yeah, we just couldn't have.
I felt really, really bad. I was a shame, but I don't think we feel comfortable associating with you on this staff.
I disagree with your behavior. Yeah.
Why?

Speaker 1 What was I supposed to do? Take it. And then do what? Then I just have it, and then I got to get rid of it.
That's how things work.

Speaker 1 Then I'm just in their shoes and I got a giant cabinet. The curses on you.

Speaker 1 Fucking, it falls. I didn't want the girl.
Dude, I walked away from it just being like, wow, I can't believe I stood up for myself in that moment. I thought it was like a real achievement.

Speaker 1 It's kind of an achievement to be that big of a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 For real. I would have been like, I would have taken it.
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I thought about

Speaker 1 paying for it and taking it right to the dump. Did you offer him a little money, like a little like holding money, maybe? No, no, I said I'm Jewish.

Speaker 1 Before I forget, I have a Jewish necklace, so I think I'm going to start wearing it. Really? Yeah.
Because the one

Speaker 1 because Shay was wearing a necklace. I was like, oh, you're wearing fucking jewelry.

Speaker 1 And he was like, it's a thing for my dad.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I was like, dang it. It felt like bad luck not to wear it.
Yeah. But my grandma had given me like a, they're called a chai.
It's like a, you know. The star of David? No, it's a, it's like Hebrew.

Speaker 1 Does it look like pie?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Oh, yeah. I've seen that thing.
Yeah. You're going to wear that? I think we're going to start wearing it.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Why don't we just get you a patch for your sleeve?

Speaker 1 That was a little bit

Speaker 1 more. My bad.
I did look awesome in my necklace. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do necklaces look so cool? What is... I don't know.
You you know what, though? I do have a hunchback from leaning, my terrible posture, so it shows it kind of sits, it's

Speaker 1 it sits in the crease. I thought, like if you look at like leaning forward, it's like sitting on top of a it's not good.
It actually makes you work on your posture because I'm like, I can't have that.

Speaker 1 My posture is fucking terrible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was uh, do you ever try to sit with good posture? Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. It's what gay guys do,

Speaker 1 it's for girls and gay guys.

Speaker 1 Good posture is crazy.

Speaker 1 This was making me when it came to the chain. I was like, I got to wear it because this all started.
Phil's health scare. And I put the blame on myself.
Me and Nate Marshall were in Philly.

Speaker 1 We were walking around. We went to St.
Patrick's Cathedral right in Rittenhouse. It's awesome.
You can just go in. We were walking by, and I was like, let's go in there.
It was empty. It's awesome.

Speaker 1 You can't just go in? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We went in. I was like, let's fucking say a prayer.
So we were sitting in the pews and and I was like, damn, I haven't had a church fart in,

Speaker 1 haven't had a church fart in so long. And I let one go.

Speaker 1 And I was like, that is kind of disrespectful to just walk into a cathedral and fart. Take one of the candles.

Speaker 1 And then the next day, Phil was in the hospital. And I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 I know I shouldn't have farted in that church.

Speaker 1 There's probably nobody funnier to be at a church service with if you're going to, like, with you. It was my,

Speaker 1 I couldn't, by the time I was senior year, I couldn't get through mass with my friends. I would be, the second I walked in, I was like,

Speaker 1 it's gonna be the funniest thing that's ever happened every time. What would you do? Kids would fart.

Speaker 1 All of my friends would fart as loud as they could. And it was the funniest.
It was crazy. Church fart is

Speaker 1 nothing comes near it. Yeah.
Oh, dude. Yeah.
I remember my brother, we had to stop going because my brother and I couldn't stop. laughing through the whole thing.
And they tried to sit us apart.

Speaker 1 Makes a lot of fun. But you had so many inside jokes already that, like, you just feel the pew shaking.

Speaker 1 You can just feel my brother starting to just shake, laugh, and then I then I just lose.

Speaker 1 So, that was the punishment, though, because it was me and my sisters, and you would always try to sit not next to Phil because he would be like, motherfucker. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Whole mass, he was like, You fucking

Speaker 1 he just went there to beat the fuck out of it. He would literally grab you by the back of your neck and be like, fucking shut the fuck up.
He didn't find it funny. No, okay.

Speaker 1 Although, if somebody hit a part, he was like.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But school, we had to go every Thursday in school.
So that's just a high school of kids farting. Right.
Everyone's farting. Or like screaming.
Somebody would like yell shit. It was the funniest.

Speaker 1 It was the best. And then team mass for football.
That was just the football team at a chapel.

Speaker 1 Saturdays. Friday before the game.
Okay. And it was

Speaker 1 you got to listen to your dumbass teammates try to read. Like be like, and today, the bugs, like that.
You're just like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was. I had to, they asked me to read.
I was like, I literally, I will howl. I will be dying laughing the entire time.
Dude, I can't read. I went to it.
When's the last time you went to mass?

Speaker 1 It's been a while. Yeah.
I went, I went, when we were up in New Hampshire, there was a, there's like a church island that I went to. And I was like, I want to see what it's like.

Speaker 1 I want to see like what the homilet is. So about five, ten minutes in, you're like, dude, the guy was unbelievably bad.
It sounded like he found out about Christianity the day before.

Speaker 1 Was it Catholic?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Protestant. That's your problem.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did they have fucking a guitar? No, but they were close. It was close.
It was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 I went to a Catholic, the last Catholic Mass I was at, it was just, oh, yeah, I flew down to Florida for my uncle's funeral, and they didn't even have a service.

Speaker 1 They just, they mentioned us during the mass. It was just a regular mass.
Okay. I was in like a suit.
I was like, why the fuck did we? It was like the happy moment. It was at a baseball game.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then towards the end, they were like, and also we pray for Don Bowie and his family. We were all just like,

Speaker 1 I flew to Florida.

Speaker 1 But it was weird. It was a Catholic, Catholic Mass, and they had the fucking band.

Speaker 1 Yeah. A guitar and a drum set.
Trying to make church cool drives me crazy.

Speaker 1 Keep it scary. Yeah, make it very scary.
Scary is the way to go. What do you do in Jewish church?

Speaker 1 The last time I went to synagogue was

Speaker 1 after 9-11. Ooh, did you guys high-five in there?

Speaker 1 After 9-11, you went to the celebratory fucking synagogue?

Speaker 1 Why did we high-five? Oh, you think it's the Jews that did it? Okay.

Speaker 1 I didn't know

Speaker 1 if the argument was it was justification then for Jews to do other, you know, whatever. Do they have rock rock and roll synagogue?

Speaker 1 When I was growing up, I went to a reformed synagogue.

Speaker 1 Somebody did play guitar. Really? Just a Jew, really? Yeah, there's a tree of life to those who hold fast to it.
All of its reformers are happy.

Speaker 1 What was the Jewish song?

Speaker 1 The tree of life. Tree of life.

Speaker 1 How does it go? And then there's those like shalom rabbits right.

Speaker 1 Damn, you're really Jewish.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 I support all my Jewish friends

Speaker 1 in this hard time. You guys are going through it.

Speaker 1 Have you noticed a rise in anti-Semitism or is it just hanging out with me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have not. I noticed a rise in anti-Semitism.

Speaker 1 It's hilarious.

Speaker 1 We'll see. I start wearing my pendant.
The pendant's going to be nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna be on that.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna be on that fucking thing. I almost want to see what you do with it.

Speaker 1 I wish you didn't tell me. Yeah, I had to.
But if it's the pie symbol, I would have gotten it wrong. Yeah.
That was the fucking pie symbol, you fucking math dort.

Speaker 1 Even worse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that feels like I had a that if if I don't say it It's like a horror movie that I don't know when I'm going to get attacked.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 What does the thing represent? Like, good luck.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Why could the quotes? That's my understanding. I haven't really looked.
That's what my grandma told me.

Speaker 1 So. We'll see.
Maybe I'll.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 you're supposed to. Don't you guys have like pendants for specific things, though, right? I don't know.
Do you have saints? No. No.
Or any like.

Speaker 1 I don't even think. What are the other characters? They don't even have a Messiah, bro.
They killed True. Yeah, they're not.
They got one, and they're like, no.

Speaker 1 This one's not good enough.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, it's me, the Messiah. No.

Speaker 1 Not you.

Speaker 1 Things are bad. We don't want good things.

Speaker 1 We like being bad.

Speaker 1 They were bad boys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Would you have done that? Would you have crucified him? If, well,

Speaker 1 I listen, I'm very much a girl.

Speaker 1 I probably would have

Speaker 1 some guy fucking yapping on him.

Speaker 1 I said that. Go ahead.
I didn't mean to cut you off. What's that? After that Nexium,

Speaker 1 you know, like that sex call. Oh, yeah.
And there was a documentary, and there's like all his supporters outside the jail. Yeah.
And I'm like, I get,

Speaker 1 I get being like, we got to off this guy. Could you, yeah.
Could you imagine if you're a Pontius Pilot and you had Jesus in your district?

Speaker 1 i used to do that joke that was my really i had a jesus joke about like

Speaker 1 that guy like he didn't look like oh yeah he looked like you ever see that rendering of him he looked like dobby from harry potter he's like four foot two wearing a potato sack running around like give money to the poor i was like i've never met a poor person that didn't say that every single homeless guy's like help

Speaker 1 Then he's hanging out with hookers.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, why are you hanging out with hookers? He's like, fuck you, dude. You do bad shit, too.
Like, I've never met someone who didn't do that.

Speaker 1 Every single dude that gets with a hooker is like, Who the fuck are you to judge? Motherfucker, like,

Speaker 1 none of his messages were that special.

Speaker 1 And then the Jews are like, Get rid of it. You're not doing that joke anymore?

Speaker 1 Isn't that like part of the passion of the Christ? Is like

Speaker 1 this, the Roman Empire, too, was on Pontius's ass.

Speaker 1 Dude, yeah, you got to keep that place in order. Yeah, and also, it was during

Speaker 1 when they did crucify him, it was during like a religious holiday for Jewish people.

Speaker 1 So the city was packed, like

Speaker 1 hundreds of thousands of people, and there was like 200 Roman soldiers in a garrison, and there was already like civil unrest. And then they were like, you got to kill this guy.

Speaker 1 They had no, they would have

Speaker 1 a tinderbox. Yeah.
If they were like, no, the Jews would have been, oh, God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to get in there. We're going to get you.

Speaker 1 What's the story about Jesus flipping the tables, the money changers?

Speaker 1 You guys were out front fucking selling shit in the temple. And he was like, get that shit out of here.
Oh, it's outside the temple. He's selling fucking merch at the temple.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that. This is for God.
Stop trying to fucking sell shit all the time. Just stop trying to make money.
Yeah, like, oh, God, a tables. What helps? Make the world go round.

Speaker 1 Nobody wanted to do it. Everybody wanted the Jews to go to hell.
And suddenly the Jews got rich. And then all of a sudden, we decided it was a bad idea.
It was so funny. Yeah.
It's a good point. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's no banking, right? Banking was like illegal. I think it was loans.
Yeah. Usury

Speaker 1 6%.

Speaker 1 Yeah, usury or usury. Yeah.
It's called that's like loans. But I also understand wanting to make it illegal because it like you would money lend at like 50%.
Like people didn't understand interest.

Speaker 1 So if you understood it, you would just. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I would have been taken for everything. Yeah.
It would have been like, you want 50 bucks? I'm like, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, you owe us $290. I'm like, sure.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. What have I done? I remember hearing that somewhere where, like, the, the Pope was very close with the Jews.

Speaker 1 And every time they decided to kill a bunch of Jews, he had to, like, meet with the guy and be like, hey, man.

Speaker 1 My hands are tied. Tax season.

Speaker 1 You guys know how this goes. This tax season.
There's going to be some real unhappy people.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they're going to take it out on you.

Speaker 1 You guys are good at that, though.

Speaker 1 What bit? Money. Yeah, the money stuff.
That's a good thing to to be good at. Yeah.
I mean, that's at least my understanding from one book that I read. Yeah.
Was that it was sort of an illegal thing.

Speaker 1 And because

Speaker 1 people thought you'd go to hell if you did it, they let the Jews do it.

Speaker 1 Nice. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good for the Jews on that one. I guess.
Just being like, yeah, we'll do it.

Speaker 1 They're afraid of ghosts. So we get to have all the money because they think they're going to go to

Speaker 1 burn forever.

Speaker 1 I wonder if Jews have that, those guys had that thought, though. Just like on their deathbeds, being like,

Speaker 1 I hope those guys weren't right. I hope everybody I've ever met wasn't right.

Speaker 1 I bet you they did. I don't know.
You don't think so? I don't know. I got to have that thought.
Yeah. I'm going to have that thought.
I'm going to have it. Yeah.
Oh, no, no, wait, wait, no, no.

Speaker 1 Let me say something nice real quick.

Speaker 1 I never say nice things.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I tried to feel smart, dude.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I remember, like, it when in my hardcore atheism days, I would be like, I would never.

Speaker 1 They're always talking about people like deathbed confessions. Oh, you're going to be begging.
Dude, you're going to be begging. Crying like a bitch.
Yeah. It's like my favorite norm.

Speaker 1 Just being a coward at death. Like, death coming to me and being like, no,

Speaker 1 take my grandsons instead.

Speaker 1 Not me.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 So far, my, like, the,

Speaker 1 the the two that I grandpa my Jewish grandparents that died the uh my Zeta he he handled it like a champ because he had an aortic aneurysm and they knew it was gonna go at some point and so it went he had like three days and so like they took him to the hospital and obviously they got him like heavily medicated.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but before that kicked in, what do you got? No, I was just thinking of my dad coming out of anesthesia. Apparently there was like a nurse in like an all-blue.

Speaker 1 Somehow Phil thought he was on a cruise ship he thought he was talking to the captain he came out he was like i'm on a cruise ship

Speaker 1 smiling like i'm on a boat they're like dude i got bad news for you you're in fucking harrisburg

Speaker 1 and it's also funny to think that it like in phil's mind he's always on a cruise ship oh yeah

Speaker 1 so he did he handled it well he handled it really well then my bubby she was she had sundowners so she was starting to lose it after he passed.

Speaker 1 So, wait, sundowners get a little wacky at night at night. That's fun.
And then so scary.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 Dude, old people doing weird shit when the sun goes down. That's awesome.
It's the scariest thing there is. Freaks come out at night.

Speaker 1 My dad hired a woman to live at the house with her. Yeah.
And the woman called my dad at four in the morning and was like, You have to come get me because it was getting so bad.

Speaker 1 And she had locked the door. And then my bummy kicked it open and was like, get out of my house.
Holy shit. that'd be the scariest dude.

Speaker 1 She's just like frail,

Speaker 1 bleached blonde. My mums kept my

Speaker 1 God, that'd be scary. But she went downhill that the uh, she was Jamaican maids, like Jamaican, uh, you know, Jamaican be crazy at the moment.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, at the um, like the, what are they called, nursing homes? They were hitting her with some dead legs. Yeah, and she would act up.
They'd go, boom, my god.

Speaker 1 The one nurse that told my mom a funny story. She was laying, like, laying with her.
Yeah. And then my bums goes,

Speaker 1 what are they going to say about us? And she was like, what's that? And she's like, me laying here with a black man, just like a lady dress.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Dude.

Speaker 1 That's pretty fucking sexual.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's really like, there was like a fantasy. She's like, what are they going to say about us? She, whoa, I bet you.
And

Speaker 1 I don't like that I'm going to say this, but I do bet. She had a fantasy? No, that like I, like, some of the stuff that, you know, how

Speaker 1 genetics, you know what I mean? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Like, I bet some of my

Speaker 1 sexual

Speaker 1 you think your grandma being a freak tossed it down to you? I bet you there's some of it. Because she, yeah.
She's a sexual freak? She would just like talk about. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What would she talk to you about? Nothing like, so after my say it passed, like on the right. Now, granted, like, like, she's grieving and she's old.
Yeah. But she, like, we were just like in the car,

Speaker 1 and then she was like, we were morning lovers.

Speaker 1 And it was like, oh,

Speaker 1 whoa.

Speaker 1 Just like

Speaker 1 in a car.

Speaker 1 My Zayta's gone.

Speaker 1 We fucked in the morning.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's actually a really sweet thing.
Yeah. Her saying that.
That's really actually.

Speaker 1 It is very sweet, but so

Speaker 1 why did she unload that at that moment? Yeah, she's sold, and yeah, in the moment, who knows?

Speaker 1 It was probably a really beautiful memory, it's probably a really nice memory, yeah, just thinking of like all the times they fucked in the morning, yeah, yeah, seeing the curtains and the wind breeze, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I can't talk, but whatever, and the wind breeze, the wind breeze,

Speaker 1 it is, yeah, it is. I imagine it.
Uh, it's kind of crazy that they fucked regularly in the mornings all the way to the end, wiping down your fucking Mima or whatever you call her, what you call her.

Speaker 1 Well, but Bubs. Bubs.
Yeah, Bubby. Because Bubby and we couldn't see him.
Yeah, Bubby getting piped down in the morning.

Speaker 1 Walking with a limp the rest of the day. She was always like, she wore like leather pants.
She had like bleach bonnet. Yeah.
Oh, she was a sex freak. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And now you're a sex freak. She's the one thing that is like, yeah, and I'm not trying to like just mismerch her.
So do you think it skipped a generation?

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about that. No, I don't want to talk about that because it's because, you know,

Speaker 1 it's disgusting. I don't think it's disgusting.
I think my dad's

Speaker 1 a horny sex freak.

Speaker 1 Hold on. You dad better not be a horny sex freak.
Did you ever walk in on your parents? No.

Speaker 1 Never. I didn't, like, walk in, but there was something about the get going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think. I don't think I ever really.

Speaker 1 I don't think I ever heard them having. I think my sisters did.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I was the youngest, so

Speaker 1 by the time I was old, old enough to know when someone was fucking, they were kind of old. Got it.
Old enough that they weren't like loudly fucking. Right.
Chris, did you ever? What?

Speaker 1 Here are my parents fought. No.
I've never. I think you and me probably had similar parents when it came to sex.
They never discussed sex. We never talked about it.
Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 They're not even like.

Speaker 1 They're like warm to one another, but there was never

Speaker 1 ever anything even remotely close to like a sexual.

Speaker 1 kiss.

Speaker 1 That is crazy. I remember them making out on the couch when I was a kid.
Really? I remember them making out and me seeing it and being like, ew, whoa. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did, but I was so young.

Speaker 1 I didn't even, I was just like, what are you guys doing?

Speaker 1 There was one moment. Their little gay ass son came in.
I was like, mind if I get a taste.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 I did have one. I have one memory like that where there was a sleepover with a couple of my buddies, and my dad came home from work on the Friday night or whatever.
He was ready to go.

Speaker 1 And he was hot to try. He must have had, he must have had a few drinks or whatever, but he came in and he kissed my mom and then howled like a wolf.
He went, ow!

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good. And that was, and my buddies and I were like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't know. My dad's nuts.
I don't know. That was the only thing.
You get older and you realize, like,

Speaker 1 you want them to be. You hope that you're not.
Of course, yeah, of course. Because that'd be tragic, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 But I like that they had outward-facing nothing, yeah,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean. And your parents were sexual freaks.
I'm just having a lot of things that I'm just having

Speaker 1 to hear.

Speaker 1 A lot going on in here,

Speaker 1 what happened? I don't want to talk about all of it. You don't have to just certain things that I mean you walked in on it.

Speaker 1 I didn't walk in, you know, at the one time, but like the only thing I ever walked in on was like him dry-up in her in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Was she on the counter? On the phone.

Speaker 1 He was being funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then he was like, yeah. And then I turned her, and then I was like, was she reaching down and eating her? And he had a leg up on the counter.
And then

Speaker 1 I was like, oh my God. And then he turned around and his face was beaten red.
He goes, what? It's natural. And I was like,

Speaker 1 and then, but there's just so many times where he'd be like,

Speaker 1 My kids are gonna see that. He'd be like, If a girl bends down, yeah, yeah, I'm getting in there.
Oh,

Speaker 1 you go,

Speaker 1 it's fun, it is fun.

Speaker 1 Now, I'm gonna, he would always be like to my mom, and he'd be like, You're gonna go take a shower,

Speaker 1 you had a little touchdown, Timmy Walls as a father.

Speaker 1 You want to hit the shower?

Speaker 1 I was just like, couldn't get, couldn't.

Speaker 1 Would you get like real grossed out? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 One time

Speaker 1 I was back from Little League, and like, you know, what did you say? If I were him, I would never, if you literally reacted, like, oh, I would do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What happened when you got back from Little League? I was like, My Thrice was less controlled at this time. And I was in, my parents had a jacuzzi.
So I like went

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 1 of course they had a jacuzzi. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 and uh, so I went into the jacuzzi, and then I guess they forgot that I was in there, and then like I heard them come into the bedroom because it was in like their bedroom, you know, and then the jacuzzi was in their bedroom.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a bathroom off their bedroom, I was thinking hot tub, yes, yeah, and then I just heard like this feels like such, but my mom was, he goes, How much time do we have?

Speaker 1 And she's like, I have a like something in the oven. It's like eight minutes.
He's like, That's plenty of time. And then I just like, what do I do? And I unplugged the water.
You know, so it was like,

Speaker 1 and then he was like, what? And then they just scurried out. And I was like, ah, you know, oh my God.
Close call. That's a real close call.

Speaker 1 That's a tough one.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That's really funny, though.

Speaker 1 Look at those legs, dude. You look good.
Thanks.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think that would have starved.

Speaker 1 That's what you're scared of so bad. I know.
You're a sex freak. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a little pervert. Aren't you? Don't you?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not a Jewish pervert.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't see a woman and go, hey.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, only in my head just like that.

Speaker 1 It does sort sort of feel you know you're Nasferatu. What is that?

Speaker 1 Did you ever see the

Speaker 1 vampire Nasferatu? No, I know the reference kind of looks like a man, but

Speaker 1 that's mean.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? I said you kind of look like him, and I took it back immediately. It's fine, but you know,

Speaker 1 we have to go. No, I was just showing you Nasferatu.
This is you in the doorway.

Speaker 1 Trying to go, can I am supposed to value you?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what she sees when you go down on her.

Speaker 1 No, she's. I know.
I'm sorry. No, that's fine.
I'm being nasty. Does she touch your hair? Yeah, occasionally.
We get into that.

Speaker 1 That's one thing it doesn't suck when you're balding and they start touching your hair.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 Man, that's good stuff. What time is it? Oh, the eyes are on in a half hour.
How long did we do? An hour and five. Oh,

Speaker 1 hey.

Speaker 1 We can keep going, though. I've been gone.
The boys.

Speaker 1 I've abandoned my boys. I've abandoned my children.

Speaker 1 Give me the blood, Lord. Let me get away.
Give me the blood. Give me the blood, Steve.

Speaker 1 Stephen, you boy. I'm going to bury you underground, Stephen.
That's good. You got to do that.
I love that movie. It's so good.
Oh, we didn't even talk about Tampa Ham.

Speaker 1 We did not talk about Tampa Ham. The Beezerine was on one.

Speaker 1 We went out on Wednesday. Tuesday.
Tuesday night, and the Bees was fired up.

Speaker 1 He was probably the funniest I've seen him.

Speaker 1 We were literally crying laughing.

Speaker 1 It was Chris and Sadie and me and my girlfriend, and Beezer was at the other end of the table. And the four of us were just having normal conversations.

Speaker 1 Beezer was at the end of the table, didn't stop talking, just spewing him

Speaker 1 by himself, just going like, Chris, you fuck. Well, it started with.
I'm sorry, I gotta go get a tissue.

Speaker 1 It started with.

Speaker 1 Well, now we're telling. We're gonna need you to tell you the story.
Okay, okay, okay, ready.

Speaker 1 He was. He was this.
The switch flipped. It was great.
Oh, yeah. At Ryan's.
So we went to watch the, we were watching the Phillies game.

Speaker 1 We were at Ryan's after we filmed, and Beezer was just dead silent. Yeah.
He was sitting on the end of the table by himself, not talking. Like, I forgot he was there.

Speaker 1 Called Francisco Alvarez a fatball boy.

Speaker 1 He was, which was amazing. He did order a car bomb for himself, which I've never seen that move.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, the waitress came by and he was like, I'll get a car bomb and just went back to watch the game. I was like, you're not getting anyone else? You're doing.

Speaker 1 He got, he's sitting by himself, goes.

Speaker 1 I've never seen anything like that. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 nobody's ever done that.

Speaker 1 He was like, all right,

Speaker 1 but then he got another one he bezer got hammered okay so then we go to another bar after the game and beezer's sitting by him he's at the end of the table we're having our own conversation he didn't stop spewing hate towards chris and sadie it started occasionally sadie and i'd be like all right it started a little

Speaker 1 over the line on this one it started with the picture oh sadie took a picture of no i took oh you took a picture i took a picture of beezer and i was like god damn you look good as that and that's all it took because then the rest of the night he was like, take a picture of me.

Speaker 1 I look good as fuck. I'm handsome.

Speaker 1 And I was like, Chris is handsome. I took a picture of Chris.
Not your best friend. I thought it started with a picture getting taken of me.
And he was like, why you even fucking take it?

Speaker 1 You can't take pictures, you fucking ugly piece.

Speaker 1 And then Shane goes, all right, Beezers, take a picture of you. I bet you're going to see what you look like.
And dude, he was amazing in every photo. Yeah, it was a nice photo.

Speaker 1 He just started posing.

Speaker 1 We've 60 photos of him in different poses.

Speaker 1 Looking incredible.

Speaker 1 Trying to answer it.

Speaker 1 1043 was the bees. 1044

Speaker 1 con man with a poor answer. It actually wasn't a bad picture, but it was just fun to tell Beezer how good he looked.
He looks really good. He does.

Speaker 1 Dude, he was. Oh, also, he hadn't drank in like two weeks.

Speaker 1 So he got in there and just got fucking after it. But he's just sitting there spewing hatred until occasionally it would hit and Chris would be like, What?

Speaker 1 I mean, oh, the bees got you.

Speaker 1 He's just chumming the water the whole time.

Speaker 1 And then he was like, You fucking played lacrosse. You suck at sports.
Fuck you. And O'Connor's like, he doesn't.
You don't. No, of course not.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And then O'Connor's like, what the fuck did you ever do? And he was like, Tampa Am.

Speaker 1 Tampa Am.

Speaker 1 What is that? Ever heard of the Tampa Am? And then we're like, what the fuck is the Tampa Am? He's like, you kidding me? Tampa Am?

Speaker 1 We're like, what is the Tampa Am? He's like, giggle it.

Speaker 1 Give me giggle. We're like, dude, what is the Tampa Am? He's like, you out of your fucking mind? You know what the Tampa M is? Like, no.
Yeah. He goes, these guys know what the fucking Tampa Am is.

Speaker 1 Just two random dudes. Yeah, two guys.
No one knows what the Tampa Am is. Eventually, we figure out it's a skateboarding competition that he did.
That's hilarious. It was incredible.

Speaker 1 And Chris was like, what'd you do with the Tampa Am? He's like, fucking nose grind reverse grind. He was passing.

Speaker 1 You hit him with the line of the century, though, because he was like, you love Kamala. You fucking love Kamala.
And you go, Kamala's cooler than a nose grind, reverse at the

Speaker 1 Tampa M. He's like, I'll kill that bitch.

Speaker 1 He was going crazy. That is a good lie, dude.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 my hair is cooler than a reverse, nose grind at the Tampa AM. Yeah, oh, you kidding me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he goes, You think she could nose grind on me?

Speaker 1 I'll kill that bitch.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 I was talking shit to him about the nose grind thing, too. And he said, Don't talk to me, sweet.
Oh, yeah, you're talking to me, sweet. Don't play me, sweet.
Play me sweet.

Speaker 1 Don't play me sweet.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 It was amazing. It was amazing.
We laughed for an hour straight. He did not stop for one straight hour.
I was just talking shit to everyone. It was like real mean.

Speaker 1 There was a 30-minute junk where I was trying to tell a story about spilling pasta in the old house.

Speaker 1 Tell me, I knew you did it.

Speaker 1 He was just telling a story about ordering a tray of ZD from Grubhub and just immediately dropping it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the whole story. And I was copping to the whole thing.
Yeah, he was just trying to tell the story. And Beezer, the whole time, was like, admit you spilled it.

Speaker 1 Admit you fucking spilled it. He's trying to admit it.
He's like, admit it.

Speaker 1 He's like, he did admit it. He's telling us how he did it.
And then I would start telling him, he'd go, watch him, watch him.

Speaker 1 He's going to lie. He's a fucking lie.
He's biting me sweet.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's as funny to anybody that wasn't there, but

Speaker 1 I would feel uncomfortable. No, he was being funny.

Speaker 1 He wasn't funny. He knew what he was doing.
Oh, he was very intentionally being funny. He was just being wild.
It was so funny. Yeah, it was a good night.

Speaker 1 Rough ending, but whatever.

Speaker 1 We don't need to talk about that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 took a spill.

Speaker 1 He took a beezer tumble. He drew a Bruce tumble outside.

Speaker 1 Took a Bruski tumble.

Speaker 1 Got dinged off. He took a Bruski tumble.

Speaker 1 He was so drunk while he was talking shit to Chris. He fell into my lap and was still talking shit.
He was like, you fucking piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Man.

Speaker 1 He kept trying to, he was kept offering cigarettes to people. Yeah.
No, the waitress came by. He was like, what are you fucking vape? And she was just a sweet, nice waitress.
Yeah. She was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And he was like, why don't you smoke a real cigarette? She was like, oh, I'd love one. He goes, yeah, fucking right.

Speaker 1 Jeez.

Speaker 1 It was an absolute clinic. And then he brought two, he went downstairs, found two college kids that bought him a shot.
And then he was like, you want to meet Shane? And he brought him upstairs.

Speaker 1 So now there's just two boys with us. Yeah.
And he's like, you guys don't even know about the fucking Tampa Am. He just started attacking them.
And I had to explain to them.

Speaker 1 I was like, he's just joking. Yeah.
He's totally joking right now.

Speaker 1 Everybody was confused. Sure.
But I loved it.

Speaker 1 It was my favorite Beezer. Tampa Am is November 7th.
We got to get down to the Tampa M. I wonder if it's still going on or not.
Definitely. That was a rainbow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then when you said that, I was like, I don't think he remembers talking about the Tampa Am.

Speaker 1 He's got to. He did.
It came around. Oh, I got the videos.
They're so good.

Speaker 1 Play a little of that audio.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's not going to be good.

Speaker 1 Right there. He's...
demonstrating how he would grind. He would get one leg, reverse grind.
You're done.

Speaker 1 You're out of the Tampa Am. I go, did Ben Margero win the Tampa Am? He goes, no, fucking Chris Coleman won the Tampa Am.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck is Chris Coleman? I don't know what he was saying. It was wonderful.
Anyway, I don't know how great that story is. It's so good.
It's vintage beezer. I wish we were there for it.

Speaker 1 You would have heated it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You would have laughed. You know my taste.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got to get you going a little. No, no, no.
We don't. No, no, no, no.
We don't. We like that.
Yeah, I'll stop trying to. You like a good dust-up, though?

Speaker 1 I like a nice car. It's so funny, though.
golf course, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll stop trying to change it. That's a Saturday morning thing.
No, no,

Speaker 1 Saturday nights for the fellas, no doubt, not at any games for the fellas. That's when you go to a couple Bruce games, the Irish in 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 We got to go, yeah, yeah, big game, and Red River, and the Red River rivalry, Red River, it's a shootout, yeah.

Speaker 1 I hope so. It's the Red River school shooting today at 3:30.

Speaker 1 Um, and you're coming, we're gonna have fun. I'm going axe throwing.

Speaker 1 See, you go on fun dates with other friends. So

Speaker 1 you have no idea how much I fought going on this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. He got bullied into this.

Speaker 1 You see a question. He's never done anything with her.
No question. Never.
Oops. Almost like that.
This is just to get back in the black with his lady for sure. Yeah.
You are

Speaker 1 scheming little fucking.

Speaker 1 I promise you. He's conniving.
Yeah. I promise you.
I know. He has to do something bad to me so we can go out.

Speaker 1 I'm mad at you. Please don't be mad at me.

Speaker 1 I'll ask where mom to look up.

Speaker 1 Find some leverage.

Speaker 1 I did the third, the third year I did Pavarati, and the fourth year I did Lord of the Dance. And I think we definitely have the Lord of the Dance as well.
I need all of them.

Speaker 1 Was the Gourbon routine a thing at your high school? Were people pumped for it?

Speaker 1 Like, they were pumped for the... Yeah.
What the fuck's Pavarati?

Speaker 1 He was an opera guy. Yeah, he was like.

Speaker 1 Did you sing opera? No, no.

Speaker 1 It was a lip sync. So I was like, but stuck out in my head.

Speaker 1 I like had a bunch of stuff like tucked in my. Oh, you're doing.
I was doing a gag. You're doing gags.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where did Madonna come in the order? Second. Sophomore year.
It was my little dance.

Speaker 1 Burst onto the scene with Dam Dad. A little sophomore slump.
That happened. Sophomore slump.
It's so hard. It's so hard to stay at the top.

Speaker 1 You probably got it back by Lord of the Dance. Lord of the Dance, I did.
It must have killed. It did kill.
And Ripple Wake down. You're doing an Irish.
Yeah, yeah. You do a step.
Can I see it? No, no.

Speaker 1 Please. I don't even remember.
Dude, it was. That's in there.
You don't lose that. It was fake.
It was Lord of the Dance.

Speaker 1 But I don't know Lord of the S. I'll do it, but it's fake.
I don't know it.

Speaker 1 You just made your way. It made the whole thing up.
Yeah. As you go.
Give us an example. Fake Irish jig.
I just, you know, you were just like.

Speaker 1 I had like a thing. Yeah.
I forget it now. That was pretty good, though.

Speaker 1 Hands at the waist was nice.

Speaker 1 Do you get the hop going and the leg kicks?

Speaker 1 I think it did. Ooh, a little hop.

Speaker 1 Tearaway pants. And that was the thing.

Speaker 1 Reverse nose died. You're done.

Speaker 1 You loke Mila Harris. I'll kill her.
I was like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 That was my favorite bees. Yeah, that was.

Speaker 1 I wish you understood how funny it was. It was so funny.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 calm nice guys.

Speaker 1 No, bees. Nice guys.
This is the right thing. He was being nice.
He was being funny. Like, if you told it, like, I would tell him, I'd be like, all right, that one was getting a little close.

Speaker 1 He'd be like,

Speaker 1 all right, we got to watch the Irish. Yeah.
Steven, thank you. We're going to do this hopefully regularly.
Yeah. We'll get McKeever on here.
We'll talk the hires a little. Yeah.
Ooh, that'd be time.

Speaker 1 That'd be meantime. How about Matt McCusker carrying the load? Yeah.
He's a workhorse. He's doing great.
I keep meeting to watch the Glenn Lowry.

Speaker 1 He's got some good stuff coming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 shout out to Matt. We love you.
Yeah. I care about you.
I miss you.

Speaker 1 Those are cool glasses. They're bifocals.

Speaker 1 Those are? Yeah. That was a nice walk up.

Speaker 1 Well, because do you remember when John put that thing on Instagram of like me reading the menu? Oh my god. The terminator music.
It's because they're by that was the funniest thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 I might have lost a little video camera overheated. At the end.
Yeah.