Ep 519 - Percs and Caicos (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 1 Hell, we're here, guys. What's going on? Chilling.
Welcome to my Ponzi scheme of a podcast.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start doing coaching. Coaching? Multi-level coaching? $25,000.
Yeah, dude. Give me $25,000.
I'll tell you how to build a million-dollar management.

Speaker 1 If I could be any of them people, I'd be a relationship coach, but just I just feel like I got it. Twin flame expert? Yeah, I think I could do it.
Just like simple advice.

Speaker 1 Just I do come to you when I need advice. I come to both of you when I need advice.
Is it ever actually good? I'd be feeling like it's good, and then I'd be like, ah, actually, it ain't going to work.

Speaker 1 No, yours is pretty good. Okay.
You're good at keeping people off of simp mode. Yeah, that's what I try.

Speaker 1 Nice advice is always just don't answer her for like four days. It works.
And it always works. It works.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Andy will tell this story a bunch when he first met his wife or they were first dating.

Speaker 1 He was telling me a story about her like always. And he said it on our podcast, this ain't like a secret thing or anything.

Speaker 1 Is she would do this thing where she would like storm out his house and then he'd go out there after her. And then he'd be like, Come on, baby, don't leave, blah, blah, blah.
And bring her back in.

Speaker 1 And then one time he was telling me that. I was like, let her go next time.
And she left and she drove.

Speaker 1 And he said, like, five minutes later, he gets a call for her, just like, why didn't you come back for me?

Speaker 1 And it was like, he said, it was like a turning point. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Flip the switch. Flip the switch.
I've seen the suitcase a couple times myself.

Speaker 1 long enough.

Speaker 1 My last apartment. You catch those wheels.
You're like, yeah, damn it.

Speaker 1 Where the fuck she thinks she's going?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that is the best. It's weird how that kind of stuff can happen.
Then two days later, you're just like, what's up, dude? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was wild.

Speaker 1 It's amazing how hard it is to just keep that just two people in one house without fucking freaking out. Especially when you have a little bit of space.
Like you can get away.

Speaker 1 Like you have a second bedroom or whatever, you have somewhere else to go. It's pretty good.
It feels weird, though. Do you ever hit the second bedroom?

Speaker 1 You're like, Yeah, obviously, you just lay there, and you're just kind of like, She'll come get me eventually. I do.
Actually, I do the girl thing where I'm like, She'll come get me.

Speaker 1 You're not kidding.

Speaker 1 It's not as comfortable as my bed.

Speaker 1 Where is she? I'm going to my room.

Speaker 1 Me and my girl did like five days in our in the opposite ones. It was kind of long.
Just damn, yeah. It's kind of boss.
Yeah, and I, I, I, we didn't speak, and I was like, she spoke first.

Speaker 1 I was holding, I did help, hold out, I was like, I can't speak because I'm paranoid. In my head, I was like, if I speak first, it's over because of me.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I don't want to give her her anything. You guys did like a vinyasa silent retreat?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like, uh, it was like just walking, you know, in the kitchen, whatever it's called, like an imposter that I did.

Speaker 1 I just go side, like, yeah, you guys did the silent retreat. Exactly.

Speaker 1 That's a sick move. Do you ever live with an ex? Uh, yeah, that's a wild one, but Or like when it's over, but you got to still share the house.

Speaker 1 Kind of. It was because of the Berlin Wall situation.
That sounds crazy.

Speaker 1 It was when I was real young. This lady was like living with her mom.
Like her parents kind of kicked her out the crib. So she was just staying with me in my parents' house.
And then we broke up.

Speaker 1 And it was like.

Speaker 1 You became brother and sister.

Speaker 1 It was only like two more weeks of it because she was

Speaker 1 crazy long. I've done it.
It's fucking hell.

Speaker 1 Were you still, did you still have sex at all? I don't think so. I don't think so.
I honestly, I don't remember. I think I blacked out the memories of it.
I've done it multiple times.

Speaker 1 It's like,

Speaker 1 it's like literally the worst living condition.

Speaker 1 You wake up and you're like,

Speaker 1 he's like, get out of the room as fast as you can. That's the thing, too.
I'm not sleeping on a couch. I refuse.

Speaker 1 I refuse. I'm sleeping in my fucking bed.
It's like, I like my bed. It's a comfortable bed.
You still lay like head to head or you flip it old school and go head to the side.

Speaker 1 69? yeah yeah

Speaker 1 just resentment 69 platonic 69

Speaker 1 no it's

Speaker 1 that man it's really tough though because if you think about how hard it is for two people to like get along very well over a long period of time it's like what hope is there for the world yeah

Speaker 1 like if we ever decide on world peace

Speaker 1 it seems like i mean i may be able to just become like better equipped to do that but it seems pretty a pretty tough thing yeah it's not i don't think it's possible because even if there were like if like all the the nations were like, we've actually agreed, we're all going to stop fighting each other and agree to cooperate, I'd still be like kind of pissed and be like, fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What the fuck? I don't feel like I'm fucking like,

Speaker 1 fuck.

Speaker 1 I told you to stop fucking bothering me. Do you play yes? Oh, you've been specifically still with you and your lady, no matter.

Speaker 1 I might drop the nuke.

Speaker 1 Dropping a nuke on my own house. It is fun, though.

Speaker 1 Over the years, it is like a, there's something to, I can't explain it, but there's something to like living with with a woman for a long period of time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where like there is, I mean, there's stuff that like just like pulls stuff out of your brain and just like parts of your character. And it does start to like,

Speaker 1 it's like water just running over a stone. Eventually, I think, dudes, oh, I fought it for the longest time.
Yeah. But I think eventually you just become one of those like, yep, she's the boss.

Speaker 1 Happy wife.

Speaker 1 It's like, I was like, I'll never give into that. And lately, I've been kind of like, dude, that's too much, bro.

Speaker 1 I might just white knight simp it for the rest of my life. It's just ultimate simp.
When the dude finally taps out and he's like, yep, it's got to keep her happy. She's the boss.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I have my little space I carved out.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever in my life seen the opposite at an old age. Like a dude who's like, I still run this show.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever seen the old age. It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 It also looks like it's. Or you just have to deep state.

Speaker 1 True. You have to just become deep state within the household.
You're like, yeah, no, no, no, you're the president. And this guy like,

Speaker 1 start tricking her.

Speaker 1 Start showing her your, send her your shit so the algorithm's the same. Like, oh, you all want to watch the fucking wild.

Speaker 1 Economic sabotage. I've threatened that before.
Like, I'll fucking quit doing all this shit, dude. I'll go back to doing construction.
I don't have no fucking money. You'll see how you like that.

Speaker 1 I don't bother. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Total trading bargain.
I threatened her that multi-I'll fucking quit this shit right now, dude. I'll go back to being a laborer.

Speaker 1 It's 33 bucks an hour, dude. It's not

Speaker 1 probably down in Tejas, but I have to move up back up and old. Yeah, it's too big.

Speaker 1 I might, dude, I fantasize about picking up the broom on multiple occasions. I'll go sweep dust on the construction site for fucking $32 an hour.

Speaker 1 I couldn't do it here, though. I can't.
I don't think I could I was built for it back home. Here I would.
Here you got to dress like a fucking Fallout character.

Speaker 1 You got to have like a hat, face mask, and like long sleeves.

Speaker 1 I've seen dudes like in the long sleeves. That's like the new, that's the new swag now.

Speaker 1 That is the new swag. Just picture a dude with just like, you ever played a game, you have all the different armor, none of it manages.

Speaker 1 That's what every landscaper out here looks like. Texas, it's like

Speaker 1 it's full, like, it's like, yeah, exactly. Sun poisoning.
Dude, sunblock can't even stop it. You think I, I, I, it's a, it's a miracle I didn't get sun poisoning out in Turks and Cake.

Speaker 1 I know, I want, I'm very curious about Queens. That's what you just came back from? Yeah, it was the, it was sick as fuck.
I remember I got burnt to hell when I was like a youngin' there, bro.

Speaker 1 I don't know how I didn't, but it's like, I think, honestly. I don't have melanin.
I'm getting

Speaker 1 I think I'm in like a melanated force field.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, dude, there's no way I'm not getting cooked to death. I don't know what it is.
I also use Black Lady sunscreen. Oh, what's the difference? Well, because if

Speaker 1 the new stuff that's like zinc for the honkies, it just makes our face look like Braveheart, basically. It's just, you're just all white.
It doesn't soak in that well.

Speaker 1 So they have like the Black Lady sunscreen where it just kind of like disappears on your face. You don't get hung up with that.
And also, dude, Brittany was,

Speaker 1 I was like, what's in that shit? Like, what's the ingredients? I'm like big on like reading it. Like, what is that? And uh, like, what's in that stuff? And she, she's like, What do you think?

Speaker 1 It's probably all the same good stuff you have in yours. Like, you really think they put the bad stuff in black sunscreen? I was like, uh, yeah,

Speaker 1 definitely dude. Like, have you learned nothing?

Speaker 1 You should be reading this stuff. It's black lady sunscreen.
Like, have you learned nothing from history? Like, of course, they're gonna put the worst shit in history.

Speaker 1 There's probably AIDS in there.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the test, I might get tested. Yeah, you might eat it.

Speaker 1 I might have called the bug for my black lady son's game.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was just crazy. She got like mad at me.
She was like, you really think that? And I was like, it's a possibility. I 100% think things that are like geared specifically towards black.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't use cash at because I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to do something with my money if I use cash at.

Speaker 1 I stopped smoking. I stopped smoking.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No black in my house.
I'm like, no, this is, this is, this is that. This can't be possibly good.
Yeah. Like things that are a thing.
Yeah. Well, dude, you know what? Speaking of,

Speaker 1 well, kind of speaking of that, I saw a dude. So I was at Turks and Caikos and I saw a bartender rocking Yeezys.

Speaker 1 And he was like,

Speaker 1 a younger kid was there. And

Speaker 1 I saw a lot of this, like the prototypical horny teenage son at the resort.

Speaker 1 They'd be with their parents, but you'd just see this dude just like, they'd be like jacked like 18-year-old kids like, yeah, dude, I can finally drink. This is sick.

Speaker 1 He was chatting with the bartender. He's like, I love sneakers, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck, dude. I fucking.
And they're like going back and forth. And the bartender was kind of justifying his Yeezys, which is my favorite thing when people wear them.

Speaker 1 And they're like, they're really comfortable, man. Like, these are real comfortable shoes.
Like, oh, dude, they're fucking sick. Yeah, I've been there.
I got it. Dude, Kanye, here's my whole point.

Speaker 1 Kanye is a fashion designer. It wasn't that crazy to say he loved Hitler as a fashion designer.
If you think about it, every great fashion designer has to say one unhinged thing.

Speaker 1 Tommy Hilfiger, Hugo Boss. I don't want black people wearing my stuff.

Speaker 1 Hugo Boss, you know, he loved the Nazis. The dude from Lululemon, nuts.
Oh, yeah, that's it. He said he doesn't want fat ladies wearing his stuff.

Speaker 1 And also said he named it because when he goes to Asia, he likes to watch people try to pronounce Lululemon. He said, it makes him laugh.
He might be the funniest guy on time.

Speaker 1 He's too funny. He's too funny.

Speaker 1 That's kind of on. That's like on

Speaker 1 brand for fashion geniuses to be like, just for no reason to say the craziest thing. Wasn't Coco Chanel getting her cheeks clapped by the Nazis regularly? That's right.
Coco Chanel?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the lady who started. What? She was like just a whore for the Nazis.
What? Where was she from? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Somewhere over there. Yeah, not sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I fought Italy. That makes sense.
Damn, dude. She was getting crushed by the Nazis.
Yeah, I'm surprised all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. She, she was, she was

Speaker 1 a slam piece for sure. She was fucking with Hans Gunther von Dinklage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, dude, that's crazy how much fashionistas love the Nazis. They did have the swag, though.
Like, I mean, like, you know what I mean. No, it's not exactly.
It's 1910.

Speaker 1 You're like, damn, here's some alt-right bad boys. Trust me, I get it.

Speaker 1 Just all meth, fucking the shit out these ladies. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 They probably invented the pink cocaine. Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Dude, but yeah, so

Speaker 1 I was in Turks and Caicos. Somehow, my lips got fucking scorched.
I'd wake up in the morning and my lips felt like they were like a water balloon about to break. They were just, it was crazy.

Speaker 1 I still have water in my ear. Dude, we go down.
I just got back with this. I got back like two days ago.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, it's dude. It's actually, it was very sick.
It's one of those places, unfortunately, that doesn't produce anything, really.

Speaker 1 Like, the Dominican Republic has to import everything, which kind of sucks. When you go to an island, you want the fresh fruit.
They would joke about it, though. They'd be like, fresh from Walmart.

Speaker 1 Kind of funny. But, dude, we went out snorkeling, which I think might be my new passion.
I think I love snorkeling now, man. I'm too scared to snorkel.
Dude, well, this is going to fuck you up.

Speaker 1 Did you go like deep or you were still like, when you snorkeled? Not scoop it. Well, snorkeling, you can go under.
Like, you know, you just fucking hold the thing. You know,

Speaker 1 trying to say the thing I'll say is you stick your tongue in a hole and you just kind of block it. Let's say you plug the hole.
You gotta plug the hole with your tongue.

Speaker 1 And then you can go down and then you come up and just go and try to. And then it just goes

Speaker 1 and the water just flies out of the top. My dad showed me how to do that when I was little, and I was so stoked to like show Maya how to do that.

Speaker 1 Dude, we go on a boat and we went snorkeling. And right before we jump in, I have Maya Chloe.
They have like little life jackets. So I jump in.

Speaker 1 The guy was like, oh, yeah, there's some baby sharks in there. And I'm like, sick, thinking there's going to be like these teeny, tiny baby sharks.
Yeah. Dude, I get in the water.

Speaker 1 There's like five, I'm not exaggerating. There was like five and a half foot sharks swimming around.
They were like probably 50, 60 feet away. Yeah, fuck that, though.

Speaker 1 But then, like, they started coming over, and like, I'm like floating on the surface, and the water's probably 40 feet deep. At one point, they were right underneath me.
And I'm looking down.

Speaker 1 I'm like, dude, I like spazz and like put the kids out of the water. And he's like, oh man, you'll be fine.
Just don't touch them. I'm like, dude, I don't want to fucking come anywhere near this.

Speaker 1 I'm like, of course, I do not go in the water. And I have little teeny, I like little kids.
I'm like,

Speaker 1 dude, the fucking fear was like so intense because you're in there and there was like one there, one there, one there. And I'm just kind of looking around, like, where's that motherfucker?

Speaker 1 And they start kind of like coming near you. And it's like, not again, I'm not stealing shark valor, but they would come closer to you.
Yeah, dude. I wouldn't even go close to that water.

Speaker 1 Well, I pulled them out, I put them out, and then I like kind of like chilled for a second, went back in and kind of investigated. And then they started to go away.
So I brought them back in.

Speaker 1 They could like see the sharks from afar. But I was kind of like, bro, like, what are you doing, man? Yeah, I would never do that.
That sounds like some shit that has accidents constantly.

Speaker 1 Dude, I guess. This guy was like, oh, dude, I'm telling you, you have nothing to worry about, blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, all right, man.

Speaker 1 And then, like, later that night, the snorkeling was sick, and we went to iguana island, dude. I mean,

Speaker 1 the most iguanas I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 I got charged by two iguanas. They charge you, dude.
In the wild, they like run up at you and bucket you. It's crazy.
What happens if you stand your ground? I stood my ground. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Best believe it, dude. They stop.
They stop. They don't run away.
They just look at you like, what the fuck do you want? What the fuck do you want, dude?

Speaker 1 Iguana.

Speaker 1 He had a couple of standoffs with iguanas.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, it was. And then later that night, as we get back from all that, and we went to like an outdoor, like, you know, when they sell shit, like purses and like got a big-ass conch shell.

Speaker 1 I know how to make the conch noise now. It's harder than you think, dude.
That's the one that you always see in like the movie.

Speaker 1 So we bought one of those off a guy, and the dude was like, he had a missing arm, and he goes, check this out. And he lifted up his shirt.
Huge shark bite scar and a missing arm.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, this motherfucker. This guy earlier today was like, oh, don't worry about it, dude.
This other guy's like, yeah, I lost my arm to a shark.

Speaker 1 I have a huge fucking, literally a bite mark in his body. It's crazy.
This guy could have got my fucking cheer and eaten up in the ocean.

Speaker 1 I wonder if you like, if, because

Speaker 1 is there like a thing where over there they just like, uh, another shark bite, sweep it under the rug? Like, if he just is kind of. I don't know, man.
It's like, and I get what the guy was saying.

Speaker 1 He was like, he knows. Like, he scuba dives, he does all this shit.
He's like, oh, they, they won't bother you.

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Speaker 1 So I'm guessing he's like kind of right. Yeah.
But also, it's like, bro, they were like, that's the closest. Imagine if a shark was 40 feet beneath you and you just watched it swimming around.

Speaker 1 Dude, it was sizable, dude. Yeah, no, that's.
And if that's a baby, it's like, how big do the parents get? And he was saying they get like 13 feet. And I'm like, well, are they anywhere near him?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They got them. What are we doing, dude? Let me see some fish.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fish. Seeing the fish snorkeling is nice.
I did a cruise and it stopped in Mexico for like five hours, like how cruises do. And we got to snorkel and just see like colorful fish and

Speaker 1 asses underwater just look a little bit more round. It was very nice combo.
Penises look crazy everywhere. Do you ever catch your own dick? Do you ever look at me?

Speaker 1 You ever been naked in a pool and you look down at your dick in a pool? It looks crazy, dude.

Speaker 1 It looks crazy, man.

Speaker 1 I've never had like a pool situation where I could get naked. I've got naked in a pool during the day, dude.

Speaker 1 Glance down, check out your bird, and you're like, What the fuck? You look like one of those things on the reefs.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's total funhouse mirror it looks like you have a dog dick you look down you're like what the fuck is that because you're in the pool with like a babe you're naked you're like yeah this is so freeing you look down you're like oh my fuck dude

Speaker 1 holy shit my dick looks crazy

Speaker 1 she's got to take a peek at this thing we did do the they were at the place they had a they had like a gym and then outside of it they had like an outdoor uh hot tub and a cold plunge And that was very sick.

Speaker 1 Taking your wife into a cold plunge, it's so funny. Watching them like,

Speaker 1 then i was in my boxers i had my like my workout shorts so i just like got in my my little skibby my little sheath skibbies so i was like i was like getting into the out of the cold tub i was like yo grab me a towel because we're outside she's like just get in the hot tub i was like get me a towel

Speaker 1 i toweled up and then i got out of the hot tub and was just presenting dude i got out of the hot tub and stand there like yo she was like dude what a fucking towel what are you doing

Speaker 1 because we had a nice little moment we're in the in the cold tub i'm like dude that was so cool you did the cold tub i didn't think you'd do it and then we're in the hot tub a little you know a little cuddling instantly became so engorged.

Speaker 1 And I just got out of the hot tub. We're like outside, so I get out.
I'm like, yeah, man, I'm going to chill out here. It's like, who the fucking talent now?

Speaker 1 I was like, why, man, what are you worried about?

Speaker 1 That's my body. That was my fate.
Yeah, my body. My tongue.

Speaker 1 That was, but, dude, I came out of the cold plunge. I was just like, yo, bro.
Hide me. Don't look at me.
Hide me.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've said it before, but that is the worst when you're fighting with your babe and you're naked and you're all shriveled up. You got to walk by her like, you know, you're wrong.

Speaker 1 You know you're wrong.

Speaker 1 Nipple cover your nipples.

Speaker 1 I never walked. You've walked out tennis mid-fight, yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Or like post-fight.

Speaker 1 I walk into the wasteland, dude, and I just fucking walk out out of the shower, tenus, and be like, you know, you're fucking wrong about that.

Speaker 1 And I look down, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, I guess you can't pivot back to shower.
Because then you look like you're like, be in a cat, not shower, a towel. Exactly.

Speaker 1 I meant like, you can't be like, look like, yeah, he's hiding his tennis from because of what we just went through. Exactly.
Yeah, you gotta, yeah, you gotta, you gotta assert.

Speaker 1 Just be like, yeah, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 It's also baiting. I'm baiting.
I'm like, say something.

Speaker 1 Say something about my tennis, dude. I fucking dare you.

Speaker 1 That's over, dude. If a baby hits you with some sort of tenis comment,

Speaker 1 it's a wrap. Blow for blow.
Actually, I've gotten crushed before.

Speaker 1 I've literally, I've come out of the shower and have her be like, oh my god, look so cute. I'm like, yo, bro, shut the fuck up.
There's nothing cute about this shit.

Speaker 1 You ever ever been sitting in that way where it's like not,

Speaker 1 it's like in a little bit. Like, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, I know, too.
And it's just like, you see them glance at it. You just, it's like, wow, dude, we were having a good conversation.

Speaker 1 Now I'm derailed because you fucking, I know you looked. Dude, me and when me and Brittany did Molly together, I, it, that shit gave me like Adderalty-ness.

Speaker 1 And we were having like the nicest, beautiful heart-to-heart. And then like, I got up with the

Speaker 1 craziest, dude. It was, it was, you know, you get bowling pin dick in the shower

Speaker 1 or like it fucking the hot water freaks it out and it's just like fat up top skin. It had a micro bowling pin teen.
It was

Speaker 1 weird. We both had a good chuckle about it, but I was like, bro, this is this is bad.
I might go to schools and just do Molly and just show them. Just preach.

Speaker 1 You guys want to fucking take this like this?

Speaker 1 I fucking love you kids so much. Don't you fucking chicken.

Speaker 1 I feel so fucking close to you. Could you watch your fucking ticket look like this? Don't fucking take Molly, all right?

Speaker 1 You love your wife more than ever and have the tiniest penis in the world for four hours? You think that's cool, kids?

Speaker 1 Look at this. I'm fucking sweating my ass off.

Speaker 1 Doing Molly and giving like a presentation to kids would be so funny.

Speaker 1 I love you kids. I'm fucking love you kids so much.
I don't want you guys walking around with tiny bowling pin penises. I've never done Molly.
Doesn't make you want to touch shit, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It does.

Speaker 1 So you got to have somebody to keep you from getting too close to your kids. Keep you on the kids.
Even though it's strictly just, you don't want to be like, I'd have like a bungee belt.

Speaker 1 I'd have a bungee belt.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Yeah, it'd be nothing sexual.
But yeah, you might be like, you little fucking angel. Yeah.
We went to the after touch their cheek. Yeah, just something that feels innocent in the moment.

Speaker 1 You see the you see the diddy?

Speaker 1 Your essence is beautiful to me as you touch the side of the

Speaker 1 I'd have a bungee. I'd be like a kid on a leash.
I would just get like yanked back. Like, you know, I think there's a fucking cool hat.
Come here.

Speaker 1 Your skin will never be this soft ever again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's uh, I've heard now, my brother has been telling me that the ultimate, what people, whatever, he said people should, with MDMA, take it by themselves.

Speaker 1 You just lay in a room and just let it kick in and just vibe out. LeMaire dosed me the other day.
He dosed you? No, but he just underestimated the power of the capsule he was giving me.

Speaker 1 How strong. And I think there might have been something different in there than he was telling me.
Yeah. Because he came from a concert and he was like, you guys want micro doses?

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, I was expecting a nice 0.7 gram of

Speaker 1 mushroom yellow. As I was already on the brewskis, I was like, oh, nice.
I'll take this and ride off. And it was just Molly instead?

Speaker 1 I was sweating like crazy and I was really thirsty and I was tripping my fucking balls off after like an hour.

Speaker 1 I was tripping like crazy. You just had like one capsule? I had one little capsule.
He was like, it's a microdose. And then I was like, yeah, you can only fit so much food.
I started shitting.

Speaker 1 I had the mushroom shits where I was just shitting weird and I was like I have to get out of here and I left and I just sat in my garage until like four in the morning and chain smoked cigarettes there's also I actually might have fucked around and got addicted to nicotine by the way for real how yeah I mean I'm fine it's not bad but I just was crushing cigars dude

Speaker 1 I can't stop smoking them I was always like I don't understand why people like nicotine and then once you start getting a nicotine buzz you're like yeah this is kind of the best feeling in the world I get I kind of get the hype around this especially with cigars it's like I had that heavy nicotine buzz Yeah, it kind of can't.

Speaker 1 And it is nice. It's really just kind of like, it's like the opposite of weed where you're like confused from weed.
It's the opposite. You get like completely sure and you're like, man, this is great.

Speaker 1 Everything. And it's kind of subtle.
You're like, everything's great. And you have that thing in your head that makes you more confident.
Just like, I know this is... Suss a little bit.

Speaker 1 But you just like, you hold a cigar and you're like, yeah, I know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 It is Tony Soprano mode. I like to smoke them while driving.
And then you're kind of like, dude, I might be the fucking coolest.

Speaker 1 I'm listening to like Tom Petty. I'm like, this is pretty great, man.
I love this guy. This guy's great.
It's not like very, it's very subtle, I've noticed. It's not like,

Speaker 1 you don't get like whacked, but you're just kind of like,

Speaker 1 I'm in a good mood. Yeah.
I'm really, right now I'm really into like tastefully deteriorating myself.

Speaker 1 Just because I do a lot to like bolster my life force, but you also have a death force within your body as well. That's always good.
Your body's trying to die.

Speaker 1 As much as it's trying to live. So it's like, you got to kind of honor the death force in you as well.

Speaker 1 Your body's like literally instinctively trying to return to inorganic material that it arose from. Just as hard as you're trying to get insane.
Just as hard as you're trying to get it.

Speaker 1 You guys keep telling me to quit smoking.

Speaker 1 No, now I'm addicted, dude. Now it's like, yeah, yeah, I get what you're doing.

Speaker 1 All of the SIGs are another thing. And I think they're no good.
I'm curious to see if I actually will get addicted to nicotine. I know, like, cigars, it's probably harder to get addicted to them.

Speaker 1 It will happen to you, though. It's happened to my order.
It's happening to you.

Speaker 1 Like, you just joined since you've been back.

Speaker 1 Well, it's like, I'll be like, yeah, I just don't like the taste of it the next day. Now, like, I'll wake up with that taste, and I'm like, yeah, it's not a big deal.

Speaker 1 I'm just becoming a man.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 I might start. I might start having to honor that with just my, some sort of slightly deleterious activities.
That would be it? Cigars?

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe, maybe just cigars. Maybe, you know, we'll see.
Just start microphone. Maybe I'll start choking myself while I beat it.
I don't know. I don't know.
We'll see.

Speaker 1 I I am going to get back on the micro-dosing regimen. That's something I decided.

Speaker 1 I might micro-dose. I've micro-dosed LSD before.
I didn't like it as much as mushrooms. It was like too strong and overbearing.
Did you ever do it before? Never done an LSD at all.

Speaker 1 I have like one thing, but I don't know what it says. It says it's a micro-dose, but I don't know.
Like, I just got it from so-and-so. Are they like little capsules? It's not even a capsule.

Speaker 1 It's like a

Speaker 1 Jolly Rancher, like a

Speaker 1 Tootsie Roller.

Speaker 1 But it's like that same kind of of like texture as like a Tootsie roll, but it's like a flavor, like a candy. Oh, cool.
And it's supposedly a microdose of LSD. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where'd you get that from? You don't have to name names. Yeah, somebody I was at the stand, so

Speaker 1 like a comic was like, yeah, take this. They're pretty chill.
I mean, it's kind of nice. It's just, it's like strong, dude.
It doesn't go away.

Speaker 1 Like, the mushroom microdose hits you, and then there's like two or three hours, but it kind of like subsides. The LSD microdose is just there for like eight hours.
You're just bopping around.

Speaker 1 You're like, damn, my chest is vibrating still. This is fucking weird.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I feel like LSD, the first time I do it, I want to be around someone who's done it before, and I've never

Speaker 1 been in.

Speaker 1 It'd just be me and my girl, and I'm like, now's the day. And I'm just freaking out.

Speaker 1 It's nothing worse than freaking out having to be like, babe, help. I hit a tutorial.
They spent 10 micrograms of LSD. You rubbed my back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's true.
That's what I did. My brother was here.
So I was just like, let's, I was like, let's just do it. Yeah, y'all did the pot.
Yeah, we did the pot. We did.

Speaker 1 Panties in the mouth podcasts. I did two podcasts that day.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 they're great for podcasting that makes sense i would just talk talk talk and all of a sudden just stop and be like oh all right and then jump right back in is it visual wasn't a micro dose of that no not at all i think i don't know maybe i i i feel like my brother told me it was 10 micrograms but i'm like dude if this is a micro i'm also a sensitive machine so i'm like this i was like if i didn't feel like a micro i was like i feel kind of up all day that's what happened when i did it measure dose my ass again

Speaker 1 no there's that time i keep thinking about it yeah you were tripping dude that's different if you're like sweating and fucking shitting and stuff. How was he when you saw him? Perfectly fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fucking sweat. But he champs it.
Yeah, he does. And he's much larger than I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I was talking about that today, about the RV.
We both, they're all on an RV on their way to Vegas right now. Who's in an RV? LeMaire, Andy, Pat George, and all the other bros.

Speaker 1 Where did they copy the RV from? Like rented it.

Speaker 1 Justin from Creek, he does like their podcast stuff.

Speaker 1 He rented it, and it's like a bunch of them just driving from here to Vegas for skinks. It's about 10 big units in the RV.
That thing's going to fucking explode. It's got to be 10 big units.

Speaker 1 Someone's going to go to lighted joint. It's going to be just the fart fumes.

Speaker 1 I feel like the slimmest person in it is, besides Justin, is Andy. Like, that's the crew that's in that car.
It's just big dogs.

Speaker 1 They're mad at us for not going on the big dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd be a way too late.

Speaker 1 She got an open-air horse trailer.

Speaker 1 Le Mayor's head hanging out.

Speaker 1 That's basically what that thing is right now.

Speaker 1 There's a layer of manure on the bottom. Damn, I didn't know they're in the RV right now.
Yo, it has to smell crazy. They're stopping for like barbecue and shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're going in the fucking desert, too. It's going to stink.

Speaker 1 They were mad at us for not going. Yeah.
And I do not regret the decision. I haven't heard from them since they left.
Andy and LeMaire definitely pissed at me.

Speaker 1 They're like, we're recording recording without you while we're doing this.

Speaker 1 But I had to bail. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's a stanked up RV.

Speaker 1 That is a super stanked RV.

Speaker 1 Maybe like every white castle, so you can stop that.

Speaker 1 Nobody's going to sleep.

Speaker 1 I guarantee nobody brought water.

Speaker 1 No one thought about water. It's a bunch of weed, some booze.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Maybe some shroobs. That's got to be kind of fun, though, honestly.

Speaker 1 Once you custom, once you get acclimated, it's going to smell like a mushroom farm. farm once you get acclimated to smell you're like what smell it's fun

Speaker 1 damn oh yeah you got yeah skunk fest you got skunk fest yeah

Speaker 1 it's gonna be sick yeah

Speaker 1 damn you guys are gonna be so high on drugs there you're gonna get

Speaker 1 i'm gonna be taking

Speaker 1 yeah i do get covet every single time every time you leave skanks yeah well i'm only going i only did it the once but

Speaker 1 ruin when i got back past three i've gotten covered do you really yep and i'm probably gonna get it again are you gonna do a bunch of drugs when you get down there so you're gonna take it i'm gonna try to take it east but but you know me.

Speaker 1 It's going to be impossible. The party never ends.
I don't find it like to do, like, everyone's like, I'm going to do acid down there. I'm like, no way, dude.
Yeah, it's scary. And I, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. You have to, like, the 40th dude, like, sweating his nuts off in cargo shorts in the desert, being like,

Speaker 1 which is fine. But when you're on mushrooms, the last thing I want to do is, like, talk to anybody.
Yeah. So I'm like tripping on mushrooms and dudes are like coming up in my face.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, I have to go back. And you go back.
Yeah. Vegas is like, man, sick.
It's a sick thing they put together. I just, the vibe in Vegas, man, is a city I don't like at all.

Speaker 1 Certain times, especially that area, can be real sad. Like, once you get up, because you're up till 5 a.m.
And then that like little area gets it gets dark.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's super dark. Well, there's nothing there for me.
It's only, it's just literally vice. And I'm like, dude, I can't partake in anything.

Speaker 1 If you don't do, like, if you get, if you don't partake in vice and you go to Vegas,

Speaker 1 you're just like, this sucks. You just sit there and do it.
You could smoke cigars, though. I could smoke cigars.
Just light up Stogie's shit. I could light up cigars.

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, there's so, it is something so kind of gay and cornballish about smoking cigars, but I can't help it. I genuinely love them.
I'm a gay cornball. I think it's I know.

Speaker 1 There's something kind of cornballish about cigar culture. It's like, yeah, dude.
It can be.

Speaker 1 I love lighting up a stick, dude.

Speaker 1 They tell me not to light up a stick, but I'm like,

Speaker 1 you hear about Ulysses Grant smoking like 50 cigars a day, and you're like, yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 1 I don't want to do that. Wolverine likes him, too.
I've been watching X-Men. Hugh Jackman loves him? No, just Wolverine.
Just Wolverine. Yeah, Hugh Jackman does musicals and shit.
Really? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 He's like... He's been on Broadway for a while now, right? Yeah, bro.
I forget what was the play he was doing? I don't remember, but I just...

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know what the fuck play he was in.
Wolverine. I think he was in.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I don't know. I heard the Deadpool Wolverine flopped.
I heard it was really good, though.

Speaker 1 What was he in?

Speaker 1 Hey, yo. There he is, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. That's the bro.
That's Wolverine, man. He's an actor.
He's an artist. He's a true thespian.

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, I could see if you're a Broadway. If you're a Broadway performer, I thought he was in like the sound of music or something.

Speaker 1 If you're a Broadway performer, I could see that not scratching your itch. He probably does Wolverine, like, oh.

Speaker 1 There's no pageantry. This beastly movie.

Speaker 1 Barbaric.

Speaker 1 Barbara movie. Wolverine is the best.
I do like extending my claws, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Wolverine was the guy. When you were little kids, you're like, all right, let's play X-Men.
Your boy would be like, I'm Wolverine. You're like, dude, I quit.

Speaker 1 What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

Speaker 1 I like Cyclops, dude. Cyclops rules.

Speaker 1 My friend would try to make me be Cyclops, and I'd be like, No, thank you.

Speaker 1 I thought he was a dork. Compared to Wolverine, Chet Hanks is the man now.
Chet Hanks was

Speaker 1 no, just Gambit. Gambit is Chet Hanks.
That's not Chet Hanks. No, not actually, but he was like a dude who

Speaker 1 talked like a Jamaican dude. No, yeah, sort of.
That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 As a person, did he really? Yeah. His whole thing.
He's like a Louisiana guy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you guy.

Speaker 1 Remy Labeau. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The gambit. I always just thought it was a white dude who sounded a black.

Speaker 1 I never heard them ask. No, it's Cajun.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 I heard a little Creole. There's some Creole going on in Turks and Caicos.
They also got the

Speaker 1 Haitians speak French or they speak a little Creole. I think it's a lot of French.
Creole is French.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like mumbling French, basically.

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Speaker 1 Let's get back to the show. But yeah, dude, I, man, dude, those, because Turks and Caicos is right near Haiti.
It's right near Dominican Republic.

Speaker 1 Dominican Republic and Haiti are on one island, I think. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bro, every time I've been to like a resort, Dominican Republic and now Turks and Caicos, you see the Haitian bros and they're like scary, man. Like for real.

Speaker 1 Like I'm not like, obviously, if it's like you're like second generation, like whatever, like the dudes that come, because they're coming from fucking hell, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Place, it's like a fallen state. You're like, you're like, the Riz

Speaker 1 necessary to live on an island is crazy, dude. Everyone you see is just like Riz on 40.
You bump into a Haitian guy and they just kind of just like stare at you.

Speaker 1 They'll be like sitting on a pallet and you're like, hey, man, what's up? And they're like, you're like, oh, shit, my bad, bro. Just thinking about cuttings.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to practice my Riz, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to, like, I was trying to big up you, Bonnie. Like, this dude is just fucking staring at me with cat eyes.
And I'm like, yo, bro.

Speaker 1 My bad. Back to sweeping up rocks in 110 degrees, I guess.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go have a sugary drink.

Speaker 1 Dude, the place didn't let people tip either. Huh? It didn't let people tip at that resort.
It was against the rules. You couldn't tip.

Speaker 1 So you had to, like, if you did it, I wouldn't want to incriminate anybody of the force there. If you did it, you had to do it like super low deal.
It was like a drug deal.

Speaker 1 You had to like hide it under a plate and be like, yo, I

Speaker 1 low something under the plate. And then that's all they take.
Because there's like cameras and shit. If they're caught taking tips, they get fired.
That's crazy. Yeah, bro.
I don't understand.

Speaker 1 I mean, the only thing I can think of is like, I guess you don't want them like hounding people for tips.

Speaker 1 I don't think people would, dude. I mean, that's the move.
Just say, don't hound them.

Speaker 1 But if you get one, yeah, if you're annoying and people complain, but it's like, dude, if they, if the people I heard, again, I don't want to slander the place, but I, I, someone is trying to tell me they pay them seven dollars an hour.

Speaker 1 And Turks and Caicos is USD. And I looked it up.
Yeah, dude. And eggs are $8 a dozen there.
It's crazy. If you're getting, if you're for real, which I, dude, I'm like, is it really $7 an hour?

Speaker 1 That's crazy, bro. Devastating.
And it's fucking so hot, dude. It was 93 degrees, 75% humidity every day with like a glaring tropical sun.

Speaker 1 You're just not allowed to dip in the pool or nothing or the hell no, dude. If you were caught in the pool, polo, polo and slacks, it's bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like it's like a polo and slacks or like a fucking like wedding, like a vest and like dress pants. And it's so hot.

Speaker 1 And then they're like, you couldn't slip the bro like five, ten bucks after them, but you couldn't like put it under the plate.

Speaker 1 You know, again, I don't want to get anyone in trouble. Maybe I slipped a couple Lincolns around.

Speaker 1 It's bullshit though man it's like dude if everyone gave them like two dollars it's crazy a day they could leave this

Speaker 1 that's the other thing too they probably want to trap them in once they get that tip money they might be like man fuck sweating and this shit yeah just save just your tips for like a year get out of there but then it's like where are you gonna go there's like it's tourism that's the main export or in my whatever it is but it's like i looked it up turks and catos is a collection of 40 islands too

Speaker 1 I didn't know this. I thought that was one place.
It's 40 fucking, one of them is iguana island, which I'm like, if you're counting that one, it's going to fucking

Speaker 1 it's literally just a nobody lives there, it's just iguanas.

Speaker 1 You just get out, you're like, Yeah, this is pretty sick. I wonder if all the iguanas went there or they moved all the iguanas there.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's they moved all the iguanas there out of the hotel. Just let them roll out, they're just like,

Speaker 1 let's give the iguanas this island so they don't bother all the hotel people. I don't know, but they had a big stray cat problem.
You'd be on the resort, and there'd be these stray cats.

Speaker 1 True, kind of disproves the theory, yeah, Because there was a lot, dude. There was many stray cats.
And you would see like, like, you would see like people's kids just start petting them at dinner.

Speaker 1 And I was like, yo, bro. Like, and like mangy, mangy cats.
He looks crazy looking. Yeah.
Do you feel bad for him, though? Yeah, that was,

Speaker 1 that was, I forgive him. My wife made a terrible racist remark because my daughter was like, I want to pet the cats.
And my daughter was like, yeah. She's like, why can they do it?

Speaker 1 My wife was like, because they're white people.

Speaker 1 She said, hey, Brittany, all right? Knock it off. And I was was like, it's kind of on point, though.
It was like, it would just be like these white kids just grabbing these like flea-ridden cats.

Speaker 1 That's probably something I would do, too, if I was a kid.

Speaker 1 My mom would yell at me about it, but I wouldn't be able to do it. I would sneak it down with some fish.
I would like, I'd get a little meat off my plate and toss it down.

Speaker 1 And I was doing it on the low, and Brittany was like, She was so mad. Don't feed me.
Because they just started coming over. Don't feed the cats.
Don't tip the weight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you couldn't do anything. I was like, can I do anything nice here? No.
So I stuff my fat fucking face. Sit in the lady.
You get the full experience of like, yes, I have people serving me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Lordship. Yeah, yeah.
I should get more into that. Might be nice.
Yes. And leave me immediately.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was sick though, man. It's like, I just, I got down there.
I was like, I'm not going to drink any of these sugary fucking bullshit drinks. I was crushed.

Speaker 1 Bahama mama. Bro, pina coladas.
I had a Bahama mama.

Speaker 1 I had a mudslide, dude. Oh, I never did.
Maya cried. I had a mudslide.
She wanted it so bad.

Speaker 1 You can't have this. But it's like a milkshake, right? Like with alcohol in it.

Speaker 1 I don't think there was even alcohol in it. It was so fucking good.
You get her the virgin drinks. That's what I used to want when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 I used to need the virgin Chirley Temples or the Virgin Pina Coladas. The Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri.
Yeah, I was giving her the Virgin Pina color. I was in the Virgin Pina Coladas.

Speaker 1 I would hit the kids with them. They would just lose their fucking minds.

Speaker 1 They're so good, dude. Yeah.
I only got one good sash of a pool bar, and it was, I mean, it was everything I wanted. It was so good.
The pool bar is awesome. Oh, my God, dude.

Speaker 1 I was just, every day, I would just kind of crush like these five-milligram edibles. I had these little mints that it's sorry to the Turks and Caicos authorities.
I did smuggle them into your country.

Speaker 1 They're going to be so mad at you, dude.

Speaker 1 Get me, bro. Breaking all the rules.
Come get me, bro. You fed the cash.
You go back in a year, like, we heard what you did. We know what you did, man.

Speaker 1 Nah, they were chill. They didn't give a fuck.

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But apparently, it's like you can't have like CBD. You can have anything there, they say.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's just to kind of like jam you up, but you know, I'm not, look, I'm not going to get into it. They didn't really check anything, thank God, but it's not an island vibe.

Speaker 1 It's kind of lame, they're like that against the fucking ganche, but they also, again,

Speaker 1 I'm not telling anyone to bring weed into Turks and Keikos, but it's pretty fucking easy if you really want to.

Speaker 1 They have no idea what it is, certain people. Yeah, I mean, dude,

Speaker 1 my shit was just too, it was their mints. So I had this little mints.
I had, you know, whatever. I had a can switched up.
It was what it's just simple. You wouldn't bring flour in there, would you?

Speaker 1 That seems terrifying. I would be too scared.
I'd be shook.

Speaker 1 There was some flour there.

Speaker 1 I won't get into it yeah maybe someone else i don't know i don't know what happened in my head

Speaker 1 i tossed it in the frozen suitcase

Speaker 1 my smoking weed again god damn it

Speaker 1 knock it off dude but yeah it was sick man i would just crush these little five milligram mint edibles that's nice smoke stogies all day and just fucking just every meal just pound like peanut clot as it was it was literally i was absolutely in heaven hell yeah until i got back and had a dude i had a for real it It was just, I haven't spazzed this hard in public in a long time, but I almost got in a fight with an African dude in customs on the way back.

Speaker 1 And he was trapped. We were both fellow travelers.
He wasn't working there.

Speaker 1 We were like, you know, when you're traveling and like, so like when you go through customs, you got to like, you go through customs coming off the flight, and then you got to reclaim your luggage and then put your luggage back through the TSA security.

Speaker 1 It's fucking so annoying.

Speaker 1 But so we, we do that. So we're like, I'm with Brittany, you know, we're all like kind of broken up.
It's like Britney and Chloe. Chloe's in the stroller.
I have Maya with me.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I have like a ton of suitcases I'm trying to bring up and this like African dude it's pretty he was like old too the guy's probably in his 50s like cuts in between us and then starts like pressuring like kind of like pushing front of Britney and she's obviously not for that kind of stuff she turns around like bro are you like what are you doing I'm like whatever man it's fine we got our bags on I'm like that shit's so fucking annoying then we get the line was just like

Speaker 1 you put your bags in a little machine and then you got to go to another line to get through like some other fucking TSA bullshit and the guy like so we're standing there, and I'm like behind Brittany.

Speaker 1 The guy starts doing this, like, side assault where he's trying to, because there wasn't like a demarked line, it was just like a mob of people, like, slowly funneling into like a one-person line.

Speaker 1 So he starts doing that shit where he's like oozing past her and he bumps the stroller. And Brittany's like, yo, sir, if you could not like bump into my kid again, you already did it back there.

Speaker 1 If you could not do that, that'd be great. And the dude was like, shut the fuck up.
And he does like

Speaker 1 African spaz. And it's like, Brittany was like, yeah, I guess like, you know, if you're from Africa, like, some lady starts mouthing off, I get, I guess, him is fucking short-circuited.

Speaker 1 He fucking blew a lid dude I real think he like he was waiting for you to grab her he didn't know we were together I was like kind of a person behind her because I was like you know he probably just thought it was a solo lady thought it was a solo single mother probably he's probably disgusted bro yeah so she was like sir and she like she she obviously is no stranger for conflict so she was just like yo sir if you could not do that that'd be great you're literally bumping into my kid and he was like shut the fuck open he like just started spazzing out and i'm like and then like i'm like yo bro and then like the um

Speaker 1 the guy the TSA agent was like, yo, dude, what the fuck are you doing, man? Relax. Like, what are you, like, it's not worth it, man? Don't go.

Speaker 1 You know, like, he's like, go ahead, get the fuck out of here. Like, come on, man.
He's like, I'm a father-in-law. He starts spazzing out.

Speaker 1 So now I'm just sitting there, and the guy's like, yo, man, it's not worth it, man. It's nothing.
You're nothing to go to jail over. I'm like, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 And as soon as we like get in line next to each other, I'm like, what the fuck is your father?

Speaker 1 And he like said something, and I like screamed spazz. And like, because we're, you know, when you're in a line, it like snakes from here, it goes like, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 1 So he was on one side of the divider. I was on the other side, and I like leaned over.
I was like, I'm gonna fuck you up.

Speaker 1 I like blacked out because he said something to me because I was like, dude, could you for real, like, chill the fuck out? Yeah, and then he said something to me, and I just blacked out.

Speaker 1 And I was like, and I leaned over the thing, I was like, I'll fuck you up right now. And he just was like, what the fuck? Because then he put it together.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, I didn't, I guess he didn't realize like we were together.

Speaker 1 And then, uh, so he thought you were just out of nowhere leaned over and was like, I'll beat the shit.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, dude, I'm flying with kids. I'm like, whacked on caffeine.
It was just this guy. It was was just like, bro, that's, he caught the wrath, dude.
It was, and I felt bad.

Speaker 1 I instantly, I felt for real, like, embarrassed. I was like, oh, fuck, that was kind of ugly.

Speaker 1 And then, uh, and then, like, he was, there was another, there was like a black dude in front of him, American black dude. And then they were, like, close together.

Speaker 1 And the dude, like, the other guy looked back at me kind of like, yeah, like, it's all good. And I was like, dude, I'm sorry.
I didn't. He's like, I don't know this fucking guy.

Speaker 1 And then I started thinking he might have been kind of slow. I was like, bro, I think he might be kind of like autistic or something.

Speaker 1 But then like, I got it. And I was like, no, this guy's just a fucking dickhead.
We for real almost fought in the airport. If he had like lunged forward, we would have fought.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 I was ready to go to jail. Guys, you don't want to go to jail.
I'm like, yeah, you're right, dude. You're right.
And I went up. I was like, fuck you, pussy.
I'll fuck you.

Speaker 1 Are you supposed to steal his charge in Kayco's custody? This was in Miami airport. Okay, okay.
I was in Miami. You know how I get it.
305, bro.

Speaker 1 Bro, for real. I haven't spazzed like that.
It was bad. And then we all had to just all stand in line for like 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 It was bad. I apologize to the people in line at the Miami airport.
It wasn't my best showing.

Speaker 1 I feel like. The American black people in line were tickled about the whole thing.
They were one dude is kept. Every time he saved me, he would just start.
We would like meet again in line.

Speaker 1 He'd be like,

Speaker 1 bro, you look at this guy and be like, yo, fuck that guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was bad. People had to be, there was, uh, people were kind of like giggling to themselves about it because we had all had to stand together for literally 30 more minutes.

Speaker 1 And then me and him would come, we would like look at each other again across the divider because the lines would match up again. Yeah, and he'd be like, So he would start like saying something.

Speaker 1 I'm like, bro, it's fine, man. It's already squashed, bro.
Beef squash.

Speaker 1 You kind of bitched it. I'm like, you bitched out, man.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 I won. It's all right.
Beef's over. I won.

Speaker 1 I literally won. Stop talking about it.
Yeah, damn.

Speaker 1 I basically beat your ass. And TSA did it.

Speaker 1 I'm very happy, honestly, though, he didn't do anything because I would have gone to jail. Yeah,

Speaker 1 if I get a certain level of angry, I'm not like a big badass. I'll literally black out and I just lose sense of everything going on.
The guy could have like beat my ass.

Speaker 1 He was like big.

Speaker 1 He was like, um, it's like a short African king. He's like a stocky, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stocky.

Speaker 1 He was also

Speaker 1 a bit of an elder, though. He was a bit of an elder.
So, you know. Jeans Polo sandals? Pretty much.

Speaker 1 Pretty much. I'm picking up what you're putting now.

Speaker 1 I got a perfect mental image of this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But now I think about it, you don't want to fight that guy, though.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 He could have fucking killed me. I don't know what the hell that guy.
He could have hit me with some African wrestling dude.

Speaker 1 So he could have

Speaker 1 pulled my eye. Yeah, he could have.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was the closest I've come to fighting an old African man, and hopefully, that's the closest I ever come because that was that was it was just not a good look for anybody involved, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I was like, Especially over the glass barrier, he literally, in front of the whole crowd, was like, Fuck you, to my wife, and I was like, Bro, I can't let that ride, bro.

Speaker 1 Especially with the kids there, like they can't have that memory. Kids are there, bro.
I was like, Can't, it was just instinctual, dude.

Speaker 1 It was funny, too, for the guy to be like, Yo, bro, for all, just let it go. Don't worry.
I'm like, Oh, yeah, dude, for sure. I'm already over it.
Just saying,

Speaker 1 fuck you, pussy. Like classic kid in high school.
Like, I don't even care anymore. I'm not care anymore.
And he just did an overdose.

Speaker 1 He started it. I'm not even gonna lie.

Speaker 1 He did start it.

Speaker 1 And then we got out of line.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. I'll fuck you.
Dude, it was bad. And then I like inched over to his side of the thing, and he kind of was like, What the fuck is going on? Why is this white man so mad at me right now?

Speaker 1 This Yakubian devil. He just did nothing.
In his mind, he did nothing wrong five minutes ago. He just put a woman in her place.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He just had once a day. He tells a woman to shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 At least. Will you shut the fuck up? Yeah, I can't do his voice.
I'm on Island Diamond. He was doing your job for you.

Speaker 1 He thought he was helping you. He was like, don't raise your voice to me.
He had a woman

Speaker 1 raising her voice to him in public, and he just fucking snapped. Yeah.
And then it's like, I was like, bro, I can't. I just can't let it ride.
We should all have a little more of that in us.

Speaker 1 He's really awesome. It's just a woman raising her voice.
Spaz.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up, bitch. I mean, that's what LeMaire was on the other day, too.
Was he really?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Never mind. I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We already covered it. He covered it.
We covered the motherfucking bases. Oh, very cool.
One of Le Maire's many hot takes, dude. It was so funny.

Speaker 1 It was actually very funny. His thing about

Speaker 1 how he loves. What did he say? He loves that.
He loves video games and he breaks controllers all the time. So he's like, I missed it.
It's like, if you love a woman, why wouldn't she win that?

Speaker 1 Funniest thing ever. LeMaire also was cracking me up the other day.
Remember when he was like, I don't want to be autistic. Everyone wants to be autistic, and I I don't want to.

Speaker 1 But I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can claim he's, yeah, a lot of people are out here posing autism. Le Maire's genuine secret sauce.
He's a genuine art of it. He's got the secret sauce.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can try to attack the LeMaire man. It's like, bro.
I think it was since we were down. Was it since we were down here when he had the realization? I remember being with him when he was like,

Speaker 1 I'm autistic. Like, he like, and this couldn't have been more than a year ago, where he just, it like for real hit him like, I'm actually autistic, aren't I?

Speaker 1 And it was like, wait, you just, like, you just putting that together, bruh. Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 You have fucking wrestling figures in your room. You have wrestling figures.
Of course, you are.

Speaker 1 Like, he knows like deep-cut characters of everything he's into.

Speaker 1 It was so funny watching him be like, I'm Autistic. And everybody, I think it was like me.
I think we're at the stand. It was like me, you, Ali being like, bro, I don't think you remember this.

Speaker 1 You don't look like you remember this.

Speaker 1 Probably not, no. But you were were fucked up he did

Speaker 1 he might have dosed me

Speaker 1 yeah he's uh yeah he's for sure he's kind of autisticly remember this he's the king of noticing things so long after everyone else has noticed them yeah and that's just another prime example

Speaker 1 i forget some other ones he said to me and you before where he'll just notice something that everyone's been talking about for months and be like

Speaker 1 he might have the wildest takes

Speaker 1 every take he spits. I'll be like, dude,

Speaker 1 you want to maybe rescind that right now?

Speaker 1 You want me to delete that? That's the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life. He'll be like, no.

Speaker 1 I do kind of admire that, though, how he will die on the weirdest hills. But he'll change his mind.
And then he's like, well, I'm not going to say it publicly, though.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm not going to tell anyone. And I think I'm wrong now.
He'll keep dying.

Speaker 1 Stubborn as a mule.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, the trip was sick, though. Nice.
I was so happy to to be back, man.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's crazy how nice America is.

Speaker 1 The airport at Turks and Caicos was like... It's like a bus stop.
It's crazy, dude.

Speaker 1 They don't have the fucking extende things. I know I was just about to ask.
No, dude, you just got to walk out into the blistering sun.

Speaker 1 And it's not like it was like, I get if you're on a little plane, it's like, yeah, you just kind of walk out. These are like full-size planes.

Speaker 1 You've got to just walk into the blazing heat and like walk up the steps. It's like, damn, you guys can't get the fucking extende things.

Speaker 1 Was it the same planes that we like to say, like Bowen and shit like that? Yeah, dude. It was like, yeah, it was a regular American Airlines.

Speaker 1 They're only like an hour from Miami. Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Also, dude, the fucking fake ladies in Miami, it's crazy. BBL,

Speaker 1 dude, though, I'm telling you, man, there were so many women that I was like,

Speaker 1 like the level of artificial enhancements in women now, I've said it before, they're going to become virtually unrecognizable. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, that's a weird arms race for ladies to enhance themselves. And once you go over the brink, it's like, you're just mutant.
I mean, it's teetering now and being too close.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I think I'm an all-natty guy.

Speaker 1 This is strictly off the internet shit. You know what I mean? But you see something, you're like, that's real.
And it takes way longer than it used to to be like, that ass got a weird bounce to it.

Speaker 1 Or like the thighs. It's like they're doing it.
It's masterful. I'm not, I'm for it, but I, you know, I would love it to be perfected by the time my lady's like 55.
Yeah. I would cop her.

Speaker 1 I would cop her up. It's kind of, it's kind of their,

Speaker 1 what you're going to call it, like testosterone therapy. Yeah.
If they can kind of just like bring their ass back up and pop those titties back out, I get it, man.

Speaker 1 You know, yeah, you can't really fault them for that. Nah.
I actually want, like, I want it. I want my lady.

Speaker 1 I want her to get the enhancements.

Speaker 1 Especially if I'm going to stay and be faithful and shit. Pick them titties up.
Yeah. Pick that ass.

Speaker 1 Exactly. We'll be happy.
And you can go on tea, too. You can get on tea.
I'm going to go on tea. As soon as it stops working, right? I'm figuring out tea.

Speaker 1 So I started taking Maca again, not even realizing it.

Speaker 1 I was taking melatonin to fall asleep, and then I saw they had like a date, the brand I take is like a daytime thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's like Lion's Mane and whatever else, but they had maca in it, and I was like, I didn't, I was like, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 Dude, I've been waking up bricked, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, the maca is, the maca is another level, dude. I was waking up bricked, like, oh, this is new.
Yeah, dude. I might have to get the maca.

Speaker 1 Bro, this is maca is the same shit that a maca tea and all that shit. Yeah, it's like a maca root.
It's not bad for you.

Speaker 1 You take it like they, they say it has a lot of iodine in it, which apparently Americans are low on iodine because they took it out of the salt. It used to be in the table.

Speaker 1 Oh, if you get pink Himalayan salt or whatever, any sea salt, there's no iodine. So a lot of Americans stop fucking with the regular table salt that did have iodine.

Speaker 1 But if you eat out, though, it's probably in all that stuff. But a lot of people have a deficiency in iodine.
And then it has a lot.

Speaker 1 So if you take too much of it for too long, they say you can get too much iodine. But dude, if you go on it for like a couple months at a time, dude, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 I've been rocking like, I didn't think I even had anything to worry about, but like now I'm getting like my full boner back, and I'm like, yo,

Speaker 1 where you been? Hello, buddy. Yeah, it's crazy.
My old friend. Yeah, it's pretty wild, dude.
I suggest mocking at pretty much anybody. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And dude, again, I will say for the record, I'm not on the T. If I was on the T, I wouldn't even be worried about mocking.
But it's like, dude, it's, yeah, it's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 When you go on T, is it like a, I don't even know. Is it a pill pop? Are you pill popping? You see your shot? Oh, that's, I don't like that.

Speaker 1 The problem, though, is I think, and again, I could be wrong, but I think what a lot of those little like T centers do is they give you a readout.

Speaker 1 And I think they tell everybody, like, yeah, you got low T. No matter what.
They told our one friend he had low T,

Speaker 1 Egan. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. I don't know if Egan wants that out, but it's like he went for T center.
He's probably talked about it. Yeah, T-shirt.
But he,

Speaker 1 yeah, dude, he... He's a young bull, too.
He's a young dude. He's a young stocky shit.
Young man.

Speaker 1 The problem is, if you don't get good sleep one night and go to a T center, your T will be low on the readout.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, I honestly wouldn't go on that stuff until you're like old and like you don't need your reproductive system at all anymore.

Speaker 1 Because once you start, you're like, I think once you start putting that shit in your body, I think you can come off of it, but it's like

Speaker 1 soft. It might be kind of weird.
I don't know. It's like, would you want to roll those dice? I wonder what it'll feel like, though, to like be 45, boosting your maze and feet.
No, probably great.

Speaker 1 But then you come off. And then you just like, you can just feel.
You can't come off ever again. Can you come off and go back? Can you go like that? First, you'd be like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I need to be like, my daughter. You could, yeah.
Having the daughter, I need to be a little more sensitive. You come off the tee.
She gets it back in high school.

Speaker 1 You're like, all right, I need to be ready to slap some people around. Tea up again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could actually, you probably could do that. That might be it.
But I think it, like, fucks with your balls after a while. I think if you're on it for a while, your balls are just kind of like

Speaker 1 no good.

Speaker 1 Erasins. Huh? Erasins.
Well, yeah, I think like your sperm's all fucked up. So I think you just got to wait.
I really do want to wait till I'm like 60. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Try to keep it together as much as I can and then smash the glass and just become an absolute monster.

Speaker 1 And I'll be like disrespectful with it, too. I'll take like way too much and just become an absolute monster.

Speaker 1 Just mean to people. Such a dick.

Speaker 1 I don't know. We'll see.
It is, it's tempting though, because I heard you do you feel like a teenager, basically, from what I've heard. That'll be nice.

Speaker 1 But again,

Speaker 1 they give it to you in pellets now. Is it pellets not the shot? It's a shot, and the pellet is in the shot, and they're like little tiny pills.
Weird.

Speaker 1 And then it over six months, it just melts in your ass. Yo, bro, pause, dude.

Speaker 1 So it is a little pellet. It just sits in your skin.
Wait, are they giving the shot directly into a butt cheek? Sometimes, or your legs. Oh,

Speaker 1 yo, look, that guy's, they drew his nutsack on the back of that medical photo.

Speaker 1 Totally unnecessarily. Look at the diagram of the guy's body.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's his helmet or what? No, go to the other one. Go to the one to the right of that.

Speaker 1 It's like the, yeah, the cross-sectional. Yeah, they just saw it.
Sorry, YouTube, but they showed his scrotum. His little scrotum.
Why do they do that? They don't need to show that.

Speaker 1 Like, we get the guy's laying on his side and he has a penis. You don't have to show his little scene.
A little bit of bulbs. And that's how they insert it with this thing right here.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Weird. Weird.

Speaker 1 Why is that better?

Speaker 1 Because you don't have to give yourself a shot. Yeah, that kind of software.

Speaker 1 Oh, when you're on T, it's like every week you hit the doctor going, damn, forever?

Speaker 1 That stinks. So just have a doctor visit as part of the weekly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you charged up. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely worth it,

Speaker 1 but yeah, I don't know, man. I'm hesitant.
I'm really hesitant about that. Yeah, because I feel like once you start that, it's like it'd be hard.

Speaker 1 And you might be like, I could be maybe a menace, dude. If I went on tea, I might be a menace.
It's going to bring back like that childhood, like, I'll fuck anything.

Speaker 1 Like, if it, like, who knows what that's like, once you're like in a married, committed thing, like, those are demons you don't even need back.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, you just start drinking, but it's like you can get her totally enhanced, and then you just go on the sauce and just let it all just fall apart.

Speaker 1 She starts like cheating on you and holiday is, and you're just out fucking like, yo, what's your name, young lady?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come to me.

Speaker 1 I think there's a future of any future.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's my favorite place to eat breakfast, and you're really pretty.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I'm hard as hell.

Speaker 1 Celebrating my 63rd birthday by myself. I'm rock fucking hard and I'm jacked.

Speaker 1 Check Check out my wife's tits.

Speaker 1 Dude, apparently, there was a. Did you see? This is like a really weird thing to hear about.
I saw it on Twitter, but there was a Bridgerton convention. You know the show Bridgerton? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like porno for ladies. It's just like the English society, and it's just literally just sex scenes the entire time.
I think you might have fallen asleep.

Speaker 1 We were sitting next to a lady on a plane. She was sitting between us, just watching Bridgerton.
And just like the sex scenes just on a plane was crazy. Insane.
But, dude, there was a.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? Dude, this shit is the fucking

Speaker 1 bunch of ladies cosplayed as Bridgerton.

Speaker 1 They got scammed by this dude who, when they went in there, all their

Speaker 1 dudes made me laugh so hard. There's a bunch of big fat ladies just

Speaker 1 to go to what they thought was like a Bridgerton-inspired, like, classy ball. And it was, for some reason, they're like, they'll be dancing there.
So they put like a bullshit buffet that ran out.

Speaker 1 And then there was a course of pole dancer somewhere. Yeah, True,

Speaker 1 true

Speaker 1 back there, though. There's one unknown.
Oh, there's a British

Speaker 1 cleaning. Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 But they hired a pole dancer for some reason. So in the corner, there was just a stripper lady dancing on a pole.
It was crazy, man. It was a whole like Twitter thread about it.

Speaker 1 It made me laugh so fucking hard to see a bunch of ladies show up and be like, this stinks.

Speaker 1 I was just going to say, I guarantee the next one is going to be dude heavy because word's going to get out that this was like just fat bitches who were just like trying to cosplay and shit.

Speaker 1 And next time it's going to be like 10 women and a thousand dudes. A bunch of

Speaker 1 ults dressed up with coat tails. Just gentlemen.

Speaker 1 Milady.

Speaker 1 Milady, would you like to have this dance? Dude, that would be going home, pulling someone from the Bridgerton ball

Speaker 1 and just, I mean, dude, look at that, bro. Having to hike up that giant.
They saw it, dude. That was for real.
That's like a girl brain terrorist, dude.

Speaker 1 Throw the Bridgerton Ball for $300 and just have like the worst buffet

Speaker 1 and just a pole dancer for no reason.

Speaker 1 A lady pole dancer? Yes,

Speaker 1 it was a lady pole dancer. But it's like, I feel like women are dressed up for the Bridgerton Ball.
They don't need to see a lady like

Speaker 1 in a bikini kind of doing pole dancing. She wasn't like in blooms like those.

Speaker 1 No, she was just fucking

Speaker 1 just a lady, just like a modern-day pole dancer.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see if I can find the fucking thing. I won't find it.
It was on Twitter. It made me laugh.
I just, that made my morning, man.

Speaker 1 That is nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. That was.

Speaker 1 I wish I hopefully can pull it up. That shit made me laugh.
There we go. Yeah, the food was raw.

Speaker 1 Oh, the view was probably all over it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see, they're trying. That's the best picture.
That's the funny. The lady who just gave up on standing.
The lady who sat on the floor.

Speaker 1 And she's sitting like she slid down down the wall, like she did slowly.

Speaker 1 Nah, it was just ladies, dude. Ladies at the Bridgerton event and like a holiday inn.

Speaker 1 There's the pole dancer, yeah.

Speaker 1 My man in the corner just chilling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they said a fucking pole dancer. Yo, ladies, beware.
Skimmer. You're at the Bridgeton ball.

Speaker 1 There'll be you and a bunch of other very lonely ladies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man, that's just absolutely criminal.

Speaker 1 Poor ladies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, that's

Speaker 1 not like safe. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. Like, the guy who put it, they showed the promoter.
It was like a club promoter who put it together. Beast.
Such an animal.

Speaker 1 I mean, he must have made some probably made like 20 grand.

Speaker 1 Tricks. With like no over.

Speaker 1 That guy is such a vibe, though.

Speaker 1 He's security. True.
He's making posted up everybody. Perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's security. But yeah, that's...

Speaker 1 There's a young tutor right there. Yeah, it looks like Baron.
True. I love it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. The next Bridgerton.
Someone's going to throw one. It's going to be so nice.
Why is Will Smith trending? Why is he trending?

Speaker 1 That's never good. It's trending to sports, too.
That's never good.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I already don't give a fuck.
Probably something with Diddy. Oh, no, dude.

Speaker 1 Okay, they're accusing him of...

Speaker 1 Oh, this is what I was talking about with you the other day, Nate. How a lot of the Diddy allegations are purely criminal, but then some of them are just black dudes being like, ayo.

Speaker 2 Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 I saw one that was like, Diddy had his shirt off with so-and-so at the pool.

Speaker 1 That was totally.

Speaker 1 I'm supposed to rock the beater.

Speaker 1 I'm just doing the bro. One of y'all got to rock the beater.
I mean, dude, there were probably, it was just, he was having like wild sex parties.

Speaker 1 And it's like, if you're, you know, if you're in like the, that like a sphere of like celebrity, like that level of celebrity, it's probably like, yeah, we can do whatever we want. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You come come up and it's like, yeah, Diddy throws the coolest parties.

Speaker 1 There's probably like levels to it, too. There's probably like the inner sanctum.
And once you get into that, it's probably like, what the?

Speaker 1 Because they were all those guys were like, all you see the video of them all like laying in a bed together? Yeah. Dame Dash got in that and he had to come out and be like, I didn't do shit, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Aaliyah was in it. I think in that same picture.
He dated Aaliyah. Dame Dash dated Aalia for a while.
I think a lot. I think there was a lot of Holly, like Dame J.

Speaker 1 Kelly.

Speaker 1 R. Kelly married.
She was really young and

Speaker 1 they were. She was 15.
I don't know if she.

Speaker 1 Never mind. I was about to say, I don't know if she told R.
Kelly she was 15 because they did fake her on the marriage certificate. They said like 18.
I saw that. But that doesn't mean

Speaker 1 he ain't no.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I was.
Yeah, Jay-Z is, he's kind of... People are dying to get him fucking dragged down.
They want it so bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would actually.

Speaker 1 I think that would actually hurt my feelings. Just how much I fucked with Jay-Z as a kid, like seeing him go down.

Speaker 1 Why do you think him and Beyonce had to do that DNC stuff?

Speaker 1 Why would they do that? They're billionaires. I mean, do they really, maybe they love the DNC or maybe there is sexual blackmail?

Speaker 1 That's the theory on Oprah. It's like Oprah was all,

Speaker 1 Spud was saying, the Diddy stuff came out. Next thing you know, Oprah's at a DNC convention being like, we will prevail.
Interviewing Kamala. Yeah, man.
And they do sexual blackmail.

Speaker 1 That was the whole Epstein operation. Yeah.
So, like, you think that was the only one? It's possible, dude. I don't know what Oprah is doing.

Speaker 1 I don't know, dude. Who knows?

Speaker 1 I guess there's nothing anybody wanted to watch about. Maybe nothing, maybe nothing, but it's like, who knows, dude? You guys know how it gets.

Speaker 1 The one thing they were saying is you guys know how the parties get

Speaker 1 is those things are like you bring the celebs to lure in the politicians. That's what I did see that online.

Speaker 1 Like, you bring in the celebs, you get them coming, and you tell all the politicians, like, Diddy's going to be, you know, everybody. And then they show up.

Speaker 1 The celebs leave early, but the politicians are chasing the dragon.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's how you said that.
That's how the move works.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm going to tell myself. It's possible to do nothing.
We never know. It's Hove.

Speaker 1 That would be a devastator for the black community if Hove gets like locked up on some Epstein stuff. Yeah.
Although, that wouldn't really.

Speaker 1 I know so many black people are like, yeah, dude, he worships the devil. He's in an Illuminati.
Yeah, he's fun.

Speaker 1 He's sacrificed. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 But it's true. You're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 True. I think the barbershop will be silent just for like two days.
Just like no, the barbershop's going to go nuts.

Speaker 1 Haircuts are going to take two hours because your barber is going to keep stopping to like saying his little point. Dude, the barbershop's probably crazy right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's definitely crazy. I got my haircut this morning.
They were talking about the ditty shit.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah, like, can I kill? I mean, my barber, there's no barber in Austin that I've come across as a black barber shop.

Speaker 1 They all have black barber. It's like Mexicans, but like, I have a black barber, but it's like, it's not a black barber shop.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just not enough of us down here. Too much soccer talking to the barbershop.

Speaker 1 No, they were going nuts. There's this one boy in my barbershop.
He goes nuts on conspiracies every time I'm there. That's like his, that must be his whole day.
Just

Speaker 1 talking everyone in the shop's gear off

Speaker 1 conspiracies. I got to go and start introducing some white conspiracies to the barbershop.
They're in there. They are.
At least here. You got to go back.
You got to go to Houston. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Might travel to H-Town just for a black barbershop. I've had like two black barbershop experiences.
One was great. The other one was not so great.
What happened?

Speaker 1 I, dude, the one, it was like somebody, someone I knew brought me to a barbershop in like in West Philly.

Speaker 1 They're like, nah, dude, come, when I was like selling pills, they're like, dude, it was like my connect, basically. He's like, bro, we'll go to the barbershop now.
It was kind of chill.

Speaker 1 He was like, it was one time I just went to one because

Speaker 1 the place I was trying to go was closed. And I went in.
It was just like dudes chopping it up, having the barbershop experience. And I was like, guys, I hate to break this up.
I really need a haircut.

Speaker 1 I'm about to go to the beach.

Speaker 1 Can we just like, can we just do this real quick? I don't, I don't want to like ruin the vibe here.

Speaker 1 Just like to shape me up, and the dude was just like, Yeah, yeah, and he fucked, literally, he fucked my haircut, was so good that he just like butchered this one side.

Speaker 1 Now, I believe, I think he might have fucking like, get the hell out of here, like, don't come back, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was, I was just like, dude, just one haircut, am I trying to get in here and like kind of horn in on the black barbershop experience?

Speaker 1 It's just the haircutter is closed right now, I have to go to the beach. Can we just please strike a deal right now?

Speaker 1 Barbershop, like the haircutter is closed right now

Speaker 1 to get it here.

Speaker 1 The white barbershop experience is you to like just have just get like yapped at by like a divorced lady

Speaker 1 for like an hour. And it's like, yeah, oh man.
Oh, that's a picture of your daughter. Wow, she's beautiful.
Thanks. Can you let me fuck out of here?

Speaker 1 So I was like, and they were having a good, lively time. And I walked in.
It was like,

Speaker 1 hey, yeah. Who's on probation? I got to go to the beach with my friends, guys.

Speaker 1 Please give me a nice

Speaker 1 give me a buzz, please. But either way, well, dudes, I think we made it a fucking hour.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 dude.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 what's next? What do you guys have to do?

Speaker 1 Yeah, nothing. Going to Vegas and City, baby.
True dad. Skunk Fist.

Speaker 1 Well, if you guys feel like it, go to MattMcCusker.com for tickets.

Speaker 1 I'll be in, where am I going to be? Oh, dude, the New York Comedy Festival, guys. Quit fucking playing around.
I'll be at Town Hall. And, let me see, let me see, let me see.

Speaker 1 When am I going to be at Town Hall? Oh, my God. There it is.
11:16, 2024. 11.15, 2024.
I'll be in Capitol One Hall in Tysons, Virginia. And then October 24th, Milwaukee Improv.

Speaker 1 I'll be at the Wilbur in Boston. Let's go.
There's a late show. There's a couple spots left.
You can get them.

Speaker 1 That's 10.18. And then 10.10, October 10th, Hilarities Comedy Club, Cleveland, Ohio.
And I have a bunch of other dates coming up to round out the year.

Speaker 1 And then I'm going to film a special and take off from touring for maybe six months to a year to come up with a new hour of stand-up comedy. That'll be awesome.
Yes. That'll be very fun.

Speaker 1 You know where you're taping it? I have no idea yet.

Speaker 1 Fantastic. Thank you, guys.
It's been fun. I'm excited to tape it and be done flying every morning.

Speaker 1 Very nice. Thank you, guys.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 1 God bless you. Love you.