Ep 508 - N.A. Beerz (feat. Chris O'Connor)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 1 We're fired up. We're here.
What's going on? Just caught a damning report. Sorry, the dog peed in your bed, bro.
It's all good. Sucks.

Speaker 1 Roommates. Have you leveraged that against your roommate?

Speaker 1 He hasn't woken up yet. I texted him.
You sent him an icy text? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your dog.

Speaker 1 That is the kind of thing that would fucking rattle me, man. Like, I don't know.
When an animal doesn't respect you,

Speaker 1 it's like, how do they know? Yeah, I've dropped beneath the human kingdom. I get no respect here.
And now the animal kingdom is now also aggressively knocking me down a peg. That does hurt.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And when there's like something primal about your weakness.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maslow's pyramid. You're like down below.

Speaker 1 You're sub the pyramid. You're like, dude, I haven't escaped from the animal kingdom yet.
Yeah, this is crazy. I'll never get human respect.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're going to have to aggress on your roommate. You have to, you know what you have to do.
I'm not going to say it out loud, but fuck your roommate's bed's getting wet, dude.

Speaker 1 You got to fucking take it back. Yeah, yeah.
Does the dog have a bed in the house? Yeah. Oh, you got to piss on it.
No, you got to piss on your roommate's bed and your dog's bed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to shit in the dog's bed. Piss in your roommate's bed.
Oh, I'm pissing everybody. I'll burn that house down and all die.
And ends toward the Capitol.

Speaker 1 People think the shit's sweet of the Capitol. Like, people are going to rough in that motherfucker again, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just four years of resting on their laurels. Yeah.
I, dude, yeah, whatever. That's a touchy subject right now.
Fucking capital.

Speaker 1 I didn't give a fuck. When that happened, people were like, that was one of the darkest days.
It's like, dude, I did not give a fuck. They're acting like it was the ID4 aliens over the White House.

Speaker 1 It's like, bro. Yeah.
No,

Speaker 1 I might, but you know, that'll get me sweating. It was the last day of Woodstock 99.
Did you remember?

Speaker 1 It was like, fucking

Speaker 1 Trump gave his like lip biscuit performance. And that fucking, People went nuts, dude.
Yeah, that was exactly what happened.

Speaker 1 He gave DB something a break. Everyone had like they had ran out of water.
There was piss everywhere. It was the last day of the festival.
It was 75 FBI agents being like, come on, man.

Speaker 1 Let's fucking do it, bro. Yeah.
Start raiding the ATM machines. Do you know there was a governor from Michigan, I think, who also was like planned to get abducted.
And they looked into it.

Speaker 1 It was like 19 FBI agents. It was like, dude, dudes.
And 19 FBI agents be like, yo, we should totally abduct it. God damn.
Just like, it was like the height of COVID.

Speaker 1 So if I'm sitting in a barbecue and like an FBI agent, I didn't know. It's like in my ear in the middle of COVID, being like, yo, these masks are so fucking annoying.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, yeah, dude, this is bullshit. It's like, yo, we should fuck the governor up.
I'd be like, yeah. Well, you got to figure in COVID, things are probably slow for the FBI, too.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? You're trying to figure out a way to like hold on to your job. You got to come up with a scheme.
True. You know, let's trick a guy to abduct him.

Speaker 1 Although crime was rampant, put 19 of us on that project.

Speaker 1 Let's trick you. We just stay on salary for this.

Speaker 1 And be like, yeah, fuck that lady. And it's like, bingo, we got him.
Yeah. This guy wants to kill the fucking governor.
This guy wants to shoot the governor and abduct her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was all like, holy shit. Because when Trump got nearly assassinated, they were like, we have members that suffered political violence.
And I was like, all right, let's see them.

Speaker 1 It was like, well, the governor almost got abducted, but the FBI stopped it because they were talking about it. They're planning it too.
They're planning it.

Speaker 1 It was was just so flipped. And there was a journalist, a left-leaning journalist, who was like, It's going to be the coolest story ever.
And then uncovered all the FBI people.

Speaker 1 She's like, What's up with this? And everyone's like, No comment. Yeah, yeah.
And they were just like, Well, this sucks. We thought we were going to break this like huge story.

Speaker 1 And this is like, I think this was in like literally during COVID, but anyway, what's up, bro? You got to make your own luck, you know, in the FBI. True, it's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, they are super craps, man. I can stop a ton of terrorist attacks if I plan them.
That's true. I can stop every single one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and as soon as somebody's like, fucking fine, I'll bomb it. You go, ooh.

Speaker 1 Turns out I'm in the FBI, free, scumbag.

Speaker 1 You've beheaded like six kids. You're like, free, scumbag.
I'm deep undercover. Another collar for Agent O'Connor.

Speaker 1 The guy's unstoppable. You've been committing mail fraud.
Be like, never mind that, dude. Don't worry about that.
Yeah, I always hear about that. Like the CIA was selling drugs.

Speaker 1 It's like, I hope they were. Yeah.
It would be bullshit if they weren't. Yeah.
What the fuck's the point of them? Yeah. I hope they're doing terrible.
Did you ever get into their role in Watergate?

Speaker 1 No. Apparently, they had like a heavy hand in like blaming people and like just turning that in, just using that to just completely take Nixon down.
Although he was recording people.

Speaker 1 But I'm reading the book right now from his

Speaker 1 top political aide, Charles Coulson. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He took a lot of it. Him and like three other people had to go to jail.
Yeah. And he swears in his biography and autobiography.
He's like, dude, I swear to God, I didn't know about the break-ins.

Speaker 1 I didn't know.

Speaker 1 And there's apparently record of the CIA being like put it on Coulson because people hated him anyway, because he was on tape being like, I would run over my grandmom if it meant getting Nixon re-elected.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then they kind of like ram, he was like, I would say shit to my staff like kidding.
So he would like, he would like say stuff fucking with them. And they should break into Watergate.

Speaker 1 All of a sudden, there's a team on it. That's got to happen all the time.
You should break into Ellsberg's therapist. There's this guy Ellsberg who was like a pain in the ass journalist.

Speaker 1 And if anyone stood against Nixon, they would honestly do anything. Like he would leak false stories to the press.
Yeah. And this was like in the 60s.
It must be so much more sophisticated now.

Speaker 1 He's out being like, dude, we did it all.

Speaker 1 Like, we would come up with shit, make up stories about like people's wives and just put it in, you would leak it to your press guy, and dude, they would blow it up.

Speaker 1 And he's like, dude, by the time it circulates, it can be total bullshit, but it's like the damage is already done. Yeah, you got to think like unlimited budget and no oversight.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 People are hatching plans all over the place.

Speaker 1 That was like kind of the Watergate story where they just kind of,

Speaker 1 it got to the point where I think it's still, we're still in like Watergate enmity between like the two parties like there's probably 90 Watergates going on right now Watergate was one thing they broke everything's gate yeah everything's gated up right yeah PZ gate Watergate yeah you gotta gate it yeah yeah I don't know man I uh

Speaker 1 that shit was wild because he in the book he's you know he's like who he's an ex-Marine he's all hurrah for the pre he loves Nixon dude yeah loves Nixon to death turns out Nixon was like secretly recording him the whole time he's still like I still love that man so much

Speaker 1 And he becomes like a born-again Christian. I wished, I always wanted to be in the CIA.
Yeah. When I was a kid, when I was a little kid, I was like,

Speaker 1 I wanted them to turn me into like an emotionless, deadly assassin.

Speaker 1 You can turn yourself into one. A lot of people do the self-starter on that.
They're like, the CIA is not going to pick me up. I will just become a cold,

Speaker 1 emotionless assassin. I know, but it's like, I've already...
Take it to the streets. I've already had to suffer through the living.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 The thing with being a kid was it was like it's too emotional. Yeah.
And you're like, dude, I want someone to come in and make me a Terminator. Here we go.
I just want to be a show.

Speaker 1 You'll wake up every day and be like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Shit, I got to attack China secretly.
Exactly. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 No family, no one to be disappointed. Just

Speaker 1 I hungered deeply for the Will Smith MIB scene where they're like, we've been watching you for a long time. Dude.
We've watched you jumped over a brick wall when you

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 You saw me do that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I wanted the government to show up at my door so bad and be like, I know your test scores are shitty, but that's because school is bullshit.

Speaker 1 You're a great athlete and you're a genius and your nation needs you.

Speaker 1 Your parents are wrong about it.

Speaker 1 You're actually a really good boy.

Speaker 1 You're actually a very good boy. The girls love you, too.
We've been studying the girls and they love you.

Speaker 1 You're going to get so many chicks, would you join us? You're going to get so much pussy, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, just wait till high school. You'll for real.
Like, junior year, you're going to get a ton of pussy, dude. Eighth rate's bullshit.
Dude,

Speaker 1 that was the sickest thing ever. That one guy.
Remember that there was that documentary about the lady who owned like the vegan restaurant in New York City?

Speaker 1 And she

Speaker 1 remember this guy

Speaker 1 who just kept pretending he was in the CIA and would be like, I'm stranded in Turkey or something. You send me $50,000 right now.
Don't tell anyone. No, ask no questions.
And she would do it.

Speaker 1 I made a fortune. Yeah, I mean, does that does seem like something that would particularly affect vegans? I don't know why, for some reason,

Speaker 1 my boyfriend's in the CIA.

Speaker 1 Yeah, every vegan secretly wants a military. Yeah.
A lot of lib babes secretly want a conservative beast of a husband. Of course.
It's really weird. I've seen it before.
Of course.

Speaker 1 They secretly, they secretly like, my boyfriend hates this stuff. It's like, dude, you fucking love it, dude.
I know. They all secretly want to be just dumb.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 They want to be conservative.

Speaker 1 Yeah. terrible.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't know.
I can't, I can't get into that zone. I don't have the,

Speaker 1 I feel like it's like a bad thing. I always start relationships off in a very, like a bad bargaining position.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So like I, I, right off the jump, I'm like, I'm like, I want you to like achieve your dreams and goals, you know, which is like, I do want that, but you can't start there.

Speaker 1 You have to start like your life doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 True. Just so they like, they like, so then you winding up where you really are looks like growth.
True. Otherwise, you just set the bar high and slowly disappoint.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Set the bar low and you slowly be like, you know what? You know what?

Speaker 1 Actually, I've had a, yeah, I think there's like, that's like the beauty and the beast thing where it's like, they want you to be like, that's what I've heard. Yeah, animus.
Like, yeah, fuck that.

Speaker 1 I'm like, fucking kick your ass. And then be like, you know what? I wish you'd follow your dreams.
Oh, dude. Yeah, 100%.
I've been reading a lot of like,

Speaker 1 yeah, like Carl Jung stuff. Yeah.
Beauty and the beast is heavy in there. Those dudes.
Paddling your animus. Yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah. Those dudes used to go like scorched earth on the babes.

Speaker 1 Those guys from like the 1920s would go like nuts on the babes. Yeah.
Dude, Schopenhauer. Yeah.
That guy went wild on the babes. Is he a pianist? No, Schopenhauer.
He sounds like philosopher.

Speaker 1 He's a swap. He was like the ultimate nihilist philosopher, but he has a chapter on babes and it's pretty brutal.
Yeah, what is he saying?

Speaker 1 He was saying, like, dudes all kind of get along unless they're in the same profession and then they kind of like start to have a little animosity based on like, because they're like going kind of for the same thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like, women all fight because they're in here. This is according to Schopenhauer, not me.

Speaker 1 So they're all essentially, no matter what they do, they're in the same profession, which is taking down high-target alpha males.

Speaker 1 So they'll always be fighting because their primary profession is to trade their sex for

Speaker 1 a high-target alpha male. A high-target alpha male.
Dude, he was pilled, dude, in like 1812.

Speaker 1 It's true. He's looking at their sexual marketplace value will only decline once they turn 34.

Speaker 1 But he went hard on the babes, and he was just like, dude, this is because I think when he was

Speaker 1 I guess they like introduced like lady I mean I still was always I guess ladies I don't know there was always like princesses and stuff but I guess ladies were relatively new I could be wrong on that what do you mean ladies were ladies like there was like gentlemen I think before they'd be like gentlemen and then they became they'd be like um

Speaker 1 ladies and gentlemen it became like how they do a thing like and and girls yeah they'd be like you know and a lot of and girls and stuff how they I think they rolled that out with like aristocrats originally were just lords and then there was a lady but I guess there was always Milady I don't think it was Milady.

Speaker 1 He was against the world. Time immemorial ladies have been ripping dudes' lives apart.
Like, all the old,

Speaker 1 all the old stories were like everything was going great.

Speaker 1 And then I saw the hottest chick ever, and I went and I kissed her, and then she turned into a monster.

Speaker 1 Dude, your whole family was like, you really have to cut guys' heads off. You're all living in the woods, and you like cut guys' heads off, like trap wolves and get oxen.

Speaker 1 And you had to do that for like six generations.

Speaker 1 Building a house was no small feat. Like a good house in the medieval times.
And yeah, if you just spazzed on the pussy, you could take down 600 years of just like the most gut-wrenching work.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. 50% of

Speaker 1 children dying and childbirth, dudes just catching diseases, leprosy, and then a dude would just spazz on the pussy and the whole fucking house, the village would be in flames.

Speaker 1 You'd be like, oh, shit. Yeah, I can't imagine.
Yeah, it's a,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 that was Schopenhauer. Schopenhauer was, he just were like, his thing was that there shouldn't be ladies, there should just be lords.
And he did say lords should, out of mercy, it was a wild take.

Speaker 1 He goes out of mercy for like

Speaker 1 women, ladies, especially. He's like, you should take like five wives.
He's like, there shouldn't be old spinsters.

Speaker 1 He was, he was back then, he was on a thing being like, yeah, women were all a candidates. They're going to end up alone in a house with no kids.
I don't know, though, dude.

Speaker 1 Once the dudes start taking five ladies, the other dudes rise up. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Once a guy starts taking five ladies off with their heads.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is a perilous thing. But he was was his whole thing.
It was like, the ladies are going to waste. He was like, all these ladies are going bad, dude.
That was his position.

Speaker 1 He was like, the ladies are going to waste. Yeah.
He's like, you have the resources. He was basically, you should adopt a lady.

Speaker 1 You'd have your wife. He'd be like, I'll adopt like three ladies and just kind of keep them in the fold.

Speaker 1 It's a wild take, dude. It's classic dude thinking.
That's it. It was classic.
He was boys' rule.

Speaker 1 You could solve up his therapy. Boys rule, girls, rule.

Speaker 1 Like, dude, it was crazy because he, like, I'm doing a service for civilization by taking many wives is every leader's argument. Well, the weird thing was he was a cat guy.

Speaker 1 He like just lived alone with cats. Oh, yeah, he had like a weird life where he was like a total recluse.
And I think he, uh, I forget who it was. He was like a, he finally got his due.

Speaker 1 Like people were like, whatever. He wrote this gigantic book.
Um, I forgot what it was called. It was like The Will and whatever.
And he, like, people are like, yeah, whatever this book sucks.

Speaker 1 It's 10 million pages. Nobody gives a fuck.
Dude, that's all they did is wrote impenetrable books. Dude, you can't.
He even says in the intro, I try to read it. And it was just like,

Speaker 1 what the fuck? It was just like, dude, I wrote this book on purpose. You need to read it 10 times.
It's only the most serious to it. It's like, dude, go fuck yourself, man.
Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 But then he wrote a saying. He was like, fuck, nobody likes my book.
So he wrote a saying, a book of like aphorisms, like quick little witty sayings. That blew up.
So they let him teach.

Speaker 1 And then I think when he was at, I don't remember which other famous philosopher was at the college he went to, but it was for real, like Spinoza, some like guy you hear and you're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 So he went to teach and everyone just liked this other super famous philosopher.

Speaker 1 They took his class.

Speaker 1 So he ended up like a cat man. He just like lived with his cat alone.
I was like, girls fucking suck, dude. Yeah.
He got pilled. He was totally pilled.
He might have invented the pill.

Speaker 1 The red pill? The girl pill. The red pill.
I don't know. I think originally everyone was red-pilled.
Yeah. You slowly get

Speaker 1 going like, I don't know, maybe there's another way. Yeah, that might have actually been the desert Hebrews who invented the red pill.
Yeah. Those dudes used to lock babes up during a period.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, there's probably another guy taking five wives, and they're like, I could never be that pilled. So I got to take an alternate route.
I'm going to start listening. Yeah, true.

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Speaker 1 Yeah, I think. That was the move back then is writing stuff intentionally that no one could read just to tell people to go fuck themselves.

Speaker 1 Yeah, half of it's even Young, half of it's in fucking Latin. You're like, dude, why the paragraph in Latin, Holmes? Yeah.
Chill fuck. Because that was the move.
Dude, that was Newton pulled

Speaker 1 the baddest ass move ever, which is like,

Speaker 1 first of all, he invented calculus and didn't tell anyone for like 25 years. Did he do that? Yeah.
Why did he do that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 he had his own problem he needed to solve. So he just invented a math to fix it.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 And then when he wrote like Principia, apparently he wrote it so difficult to read intentionally so that no one would ask him questions about it.

Speaker 1 So he fucking,

Speaker 1 I only want people smart enough to already understand this to read this. I don't want anyone asking me about it.
Go fuck yourself. I think Newton was one of the guys who

Speaker 1 he would like chill in coffee shops with three others. There was a dude claiming Newton, wasn't Newton the one who came out and he said something about the sun or it wasn't

Speaker 1 Copernicus was the guy who was like the sun,

Speaker 1 the earth revolves around the sun.

Speaker 1 And then Newton had another like huge outer space finding that I think he like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was like another.

Speaker 1 he had a big one and then people were like dude shut the fuck up and he would go in coffee shops and argue like about like like mercury to people he'd be like dude you don't know fucking shit about mercury there was there was something where like these guys were trying to figure out some problem

Speaker 1 about like the motion of the planet that's what it was it was like how yeah exactly it was that and and a guy showed up that like one it was like some guy from like the royal institute or something was like yo can you solve this problem we're trying to figure out like how these things move and he was like oh i did that.

Speaker 1 We were like, well,

Speaker 1 do you have the math? He's like, I, I, like, threw it away, I think. He's like, what the fuck? And

Speaker 1 he just goes, I'll redo it. I'll redo it.

Speaker 1 It was something crazy, like, how fast do stars spin? And he's like, I already figured that out. It's like, yeah.
Wait, what, dude? Yeah, I did that.

Speaker 1 He literally was like, I did that a couple of years ago. I think he threw it out.
That's my old shit.

Speaker 1 It's crazy to be sitting in your house and just be like, yep, that's how outer space works. I invented math to figure that out.
It's like, dude, go fuck yourself. I might have killed that guy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to kill you, dude. You can't be doing it.
Yeah, that's crazy. Newton was wild.
And he would sit in,

Speaker 1 there's that book, The Five Beverages That Change the World, and they talk about coffee, how back then coffee came out and it was like, it was seen as like just genius fuel.

Speaker 1 Like if you're like a slovenly peasant, you would drink pints of like ale every day because you couldn't get like clean water like that. Yeah.
So then dudes were like, fuck alcohol.

Speaker 1 And they started drinking like 12 cups of coffee a day and just being in a coffee shop being like

Speaker 1 and just ripping about the solar system. Yeah, I mean, because you, if you had to, if you have to boil water just to drink it, what's the point? Yeah, you might as well put some fucking flavor in it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or just drink beer. Beer.
I think they said like the alcohol sterilized. Right.
So it was like you would wake up in the morning and crush like a 12, like

Speaker 1 12 pack. You took 12 ounces of beer and like some eggs and be like, I'm going to go.
I've been there. I've been there.

Speaker 1 You're worried about your water.

Speaker 1 You wake up hungover and the only cold drink is beer. And you're like, oh, fuck it.
I'll throw one back. You forced my hand.
Yeah. Yeah.
I've been slamming the NAs. I heard.
Shane was telling me.

Speaker 1 Dude, jugging. I was dying to get into that.
So, what, like, he was saying, you, I, they have a little bit of alcohol, don't they?

Speaker 1 Uh, depends which one you get, but they, yeah, they have like 0.5%, I think. I want to see them become like weed where like the NAs become so strong.
These are the NAs I had.

Speaker 1 You drank one, you're having like a panic attack.

Speaker 1 Dude, they're amazing.

Speaker 1 They're amazing. So, what is so good about them?

Speaker 1 It's tricking yourself. Ah, I see.
Yeah. Do you catch all your rest? I feel like I'm misbehaving when I drink them.
Really?

Speaker 1 Even though they're like... Yeah.
I mean, I can understand. I drink deep half coffee, so I can understand.
Yeah. But the.

Speaker 1 Can you slam them like at all hours like a wild man? You do them while you drive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What? Did you drink NA's and drive?

Speaker 1 I've started to. I'm starting to crack NA's and drive.
Yeah. This is rigged.
This This is right in the FBI, dude. You've walked right into my truck.

Speaker 1 I want them to pull me over and be like, nah, man, there's nothing in here.

Speaker 1 Smash the bottle. Yeah.
No, I'll crack them at 10 a.m., 11 a.m.

Speaker 1 It's wild.

Speaker 1 It almost seems like you're in like a dormancy period.

Speaker 1 You're just going to flip the switch and there's going to be cold activated total Rockies is like, I've been trading for this for six years.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 it has like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, I'm a little bit worried about it because the tricking myself is working so well that like I'm starting to see the power of like

Speaker 1 self-delusion, you know? It's good. I don't know.
It's dangerous.

Speaker 1 What are you worried about being deluded on? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I was watching that like wide receivers documentary and George Kittle was like giving himself like a bunch of positive self-talk.

Speaker 1 And I was like.

Speaker 1 That looks like it works. It does, dude.
I know, but otherwise

Speaker 1 it feels dangerous. Giving yourself positive self-talk.
That's your negative self holding back, dude.

Speaker 1 That's what I feel. It's like, if I were ever to be truly successful, I would want to do it through negative self-talk.
No.

Speaker 1 There's a right way and a wrong way to do it.

Speaker 1 And it's like. You want to whip yourself.
Yeah. You want to crack the whip on yourself.
Yeah, yeah. To the promised land.
Yeah. Come on.
Yeah. The idea of being like, you can do this.

Speaker 1 Not you can do this. You're going to do this.
It's scary. I know what you mean.
It is.

Speaker 1 It's terrifying. Yeah.
You start, it's a slippery slope because it works so well. Yeah, dude.
You'll never stop if you're truly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know exactly what you're talking about. You're talking like double bracelets and being like, it's all good, man.
Everything's good. Exactly.
It's like, yeah, I would love to do that.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's tough. It's although I've been researching IFS.

Speaker 1 Internal family systems.

Speaker 1 And they like, it's a whole psychological theory that I don't, again, I obviously don't know it like, you know, top to bottom, but the idea is you do have a, you're just a collection of sub-personalities.

Speaker 1 It's like, there's no coherence, really. You're just, you have the part of you that wants to lose weight.

Speaker 1 You have the part of you that absolutely cannot help, yeah, but like crush any food that's in front of you. Yep.
All that stuff. You have the part with drinking.

Speaker 1 You have the party that doesn't want to drink, the party that doesn't want to smoke weed, and the part of you that just like sees a Vapend and it's like,

Speaker 1 yeah, for no reason at 10 a.m. It's like, now I've ruined my whole day.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, that is the, that's like the fascinating thing about reading that, like, uh, the young stuff, Carl Jung, because, like, the book is, like, not arguments for why it's right.

Speaker 1 Why are you reading? It was, I think it was a, it was like a collection that Carl Jung put together with like students of his.

Speaker 1 It was supposed to make it like a more accessible than his, like, other man and his images or the symbols or something. Yeah, yeah.
The man in his symbols or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like that big textbook looking thing. Yeah.
I got on the Kindle, so it's. That's what's up.
Yeah, yeah. There's a good book called The Symbolic Quest that breaks down Jungian stuff.

Speaker 1 A lot of it is. It does, like you're saying, you're kind of like.

Speaker 1 It's not making arguments for why it's right, but it is like, it's a series of fucking locker room speeches about like battling your influence because he's so jacked up.

Speaker 1 You know, Young lost his mind for a while. I don't doubt.
He went crazy. He has the red book where he like for real just lost his mind and started writing about like demons and like people.

Speaker 1 he dude this is where the ifs stuff gets crazy so so there's like um so there's all these sub-personalities there's some of you that's like been exiled due to like painful experiences that just gets pushed to your subconscious then there's protectors which is like if there if something comes up you'll initially launch into like whoa like in a protective like dude i i and it's funny so i was just reading about this well before i get into that and then there's a thing called the self and they say the self is the center force of your personality which is just always confident creative they use like six c's and it's like the exact thing of like it's all good bro Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then that, that needs to be exposed to all these sub-personalities because they run the show. They, they just, they're, it's like a certain, like a flea circus.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I'm like reading about this and I'm like, okay, cool enough. And then I was at the pool recently with my kids, and uh, my kids are good at they're good at swimming for how young they are.

Speaker 1 Like, Maya can actually like swim in the deep end. Yeah.
Chloe jumps in like the baby pool, but she does this, and we've like made them swim so much.

Speaker 1 And then she does this thing because I'm like terrified of how, you know, I like don't pay attention to anything. So I'm like, you guys better fend for your fucking selves.

Speaker 1 I might zone out for a second. I might zone out.
I might be blasted off the vape pen due to my goddamn small sub-personality that hasn't been exposed to itself yet. Just protected.

Speaker 1 Protected myself. And

Speaker 1 Chloe can do this thing where she jumps into the baby pool, lays like flat, and then kind of like pops out of the water and stands up.

Speaker 1 So, and she's two, and there was like a kid there who was three, and the kid was with their grandma. The kid couldn't like get his head up out of the water.
And

Speaker 1 all I asked was like, how old's the kid and she was like he's three and i was like oh that's cool and like i watched this lady just go because i was like oh my daughter's two and i wasn't trying to like do like kid beef or like it was not flexing i i thought they were the same age that's why i asked her like oh maybe they can play and like it dudes and she was like a sweet lady and something came over her where she was like he doesn't get exposed to the water and there's this part of her personality came up that was like not good enough and it just launched into this thing of like dude well actually like he's not exposed to the water that much and i was like dude it's i was like he's doing great man i'm like it's not you know but that happens with everything it's like when you especially you have kids, because then it's just like,

Speaker 1 fuck, I fucked up and it becomes like on the spot. Like, that kid's doing it, my kid can't.
Dude, it becomes an arms race, man.

Speaker 1 Well, all the, like, I feel like all the, like, I feel like the adult psychology world has like exploded with like all kinds of advice. You know, it's like everything else.

Speaker 1 There's like, you go scroll through Instagram and there's like the 10 million different diets and fucking approaches to life. It's like that's like multiplied, I feel like tenfold for kids.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's just like every parent I know is like,

Speaker 1 yeah, if they're not walking in the next three weeks, it's like we're way behind. They've freaked.

Speaker 1 They're going to walk.

Speaker 1 Or they're not.

Speaker 1 Or they're not, dude. And then they'll be a genius.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I do a chair.
Yeah. Parents freak about it, man.
It's like walking, talking.

Speaker 1 And like, my kids just didn't get teeth, which was like, they didn't get teeth forever. They looked insane.
They walked early and kind of talked. They'd have no teeth.
And it's like, eh.

Speaker 1 Or have like few teeth.

Speaker 1 What's that about? No teeth. Every kid, like, every kid does picks things up.
Like, my oldest walked kind of early, but then didn't talk a lot until she was like two and a half.

Speaker 1 And then our younger kid walked a little later, but she's been talking like a weirdo for like pretty young. They're all just different.
Yeah. But yeah, I don't dude.

Speaker 1 That's my number one thing I'm against when parents get all freaked out about like putting their kid on like the super,

Speaker 1 whatchamacallit, escalator for like, they got to be doing this, got to be doing this. It's like, dude, fucking relax, man.
Yeah, you're going to make fine. Crazy.
I didn't do shit when I was younger.

Speaker 1 No. I just was outside.
No. I was outside, bro.
Yeah. Nobody told me I was outside.
I was so outside when I was a kid, dude. I was in.
Dude, it's insane, man.

Speaker 1 I've heard of shit like kids wanting, like, oh, there's like a Mandarin immersion. It's like, bro, relax, man.
Dude, I feel like most of my childhood meeting.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like most of my childhood memories are like me in some kid's backyard, like six or seven houses away, and my mom, like, like pulling up and screeching the tires like where the fuck have you been for like two days

Speaker 1 there's like baseball pictures that need to be taken it's yeah yeah i i i i like specifically remember like just being against a chain link fence when i was little and just fucking like in a backyard yeah just like looking at a kid's toy and being like fuck yeah i want that so bad and just like yeah i then like black out three years later and i'm just in school like what the fuck is this oh man yeah i don't think the kids need it like that that dude it's insane to like hit them with like an executive programming at fucking four or five yeah it's like dude let them chill and now everyone like like to combat that too my brother was telling me that like everyone just holds their kids back really yeah like in school and in sports like that makes sense it's like your four-year-old kid is playing some fucking seven-year-old because he's like

Speaker 1 Yeah, the parents are like

Speaker 1 holding him back, holding him back so they can just dominate younger kids for the like, yeah so they graduate high school at like 22 oh and they've just been

Speaker 1 soldiers above everyone their whole lives full-time job yeah yeah it's like what's crazy yeah yeah it's so it's so unnecessary man i i uh it's it makes me sad to be like damn dude just let them be like you're also like you want your kid to be bilingual and believe in santa claus Yeah, it's like, let's fall, let's drop the Santa Claus.

Speaker 1 If you're thinking about a kid as like a rocket ship, let's drop the Santa Claus fuel tank and then work on, you know, becoming a polyglot or whatever. Right, right.

Speaker 1 It's crazy, man. Yeah, yeah.
Your brain's more receptive to languages between years two and five. It's like, because you can't speak any of them.
Yeah. It's all gibberish.

Speaker 1 It's probably true, but it's also like, I don't know, dude. I picked up Spanish, all right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Especially if you're not good at languages, if you study it, like, dude, I studied piano when I was younger. I dropped it right away.
I was like,

Speaker 1 fucking, I'm not doing this anymore. Well, I didn't have, do you have like musical people in your house or your parents musical at all? No, but my whole family's pretty musical.

Speaker 1 My dad's side's very musical, where it's like everyone can play piano. Oh, see, my family's not at all, so you just got no exposure to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my dad was my dad would like pick up my brother's guitar, and he could play like two chords, and we'd always just kind of like, he'd play the same song over and over.

Speaker 1 He'd pull it on his knee all awkwardly. My brother, Kevin, is like,

Speaker 1 I mean, I'd almost say virtuoso level. Like, he's good.
He's very, very good. That's huge.
He could with your brother? Yeah. Yeah.
See, that's. And I had it trickle down on me.

Speaker 1 And like any, like me and my, we can all like strum some chords my brother's at the top I think yeah Billy's going in for my spot right now second second place fucking on the strings, but really Billy's been practicing a lot.

Speaker 1 How often do you play? I like I have it in my office. I'll pick it up if I have downtime.
I'll pick it up every day and fuck around. But right now my aim's on piano.
I'm just on piano right now.

Speaker 1 A piano is sick. So fucking tight, dude.
It's really chickened out. I was at a thing the other day and they had a piano there.
Like they were filming something.

Speaker 1 I like just pussily played like a little something like walked away real quick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, I can't I can't even handle, like, dude, when we were playing, that was dude, dude, when we were doing it. I tried to recreate that with my younger, like, very young cousin.

Speaker 1 I was like, you do the dent, then, and then, and, then, I was playing it. I kept fucking it up, and I was like,

Speaker 1 dude, I can't, I couldn't handle it, dude. You shredded, I know, I know, but it takes the level of concentration it takes for me just to play those chords.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Once you, when you're riffing over it, it's like, that's sick. And then once you come back in with me playing the chords, I like my body.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm like, oh my God, dude. Just for for reference, it's that song, Den, Den, Den, Den, Chopsticks,

Speaker 1 I think it is chopsticks, dude. I was trying to, I'm trying to like teach my daughters.
I'm like, please learn how to fucking do this so I can solo over this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you're trying to learn the different scales. I'm like, this is so tight.
And then I fucked it up, man. I absolutely blew it.
My wife was like, I'll record it. And I was like,

Speaker 1 and I just fucked it up. I was like, dude, the idea of improvising musically is just, my mind cracks my mind.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because, I mean, I think you even said it where you're just like, no, if you play any of these notes in this key, you'll be good.

Speaker 1 And then if you learn, like, if you go up and down the scale, it'll sound robotic, but if you, like, then I hit a couple notes, jump to another one, and kind of go back, you can get the feel for it.

Speaker 1 It's for real. It's like coming.

Speaker 1 If you're like making it sound good, you're just like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 It's honestly one of the best things in the world. It has to be.
I don't think I, yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it would take me a lot of doing it to actually be able to

Speaker 1 not come when I was doing it. I think, dude, I think if I ever soloed a little bit and and then like came back in, I'd like,

Speaker 1 I'd cream. You might smash a guitar.
That's why you smash a guitar. Just go, ah.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. I mean, it's universally.
It taps into like literally something universal and people are like, oh. It hits them with a good feel.
Yeah, music's really weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it does feel getting the study of music. It's the weirdest shit in the world.
It's just a pattern inherent.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, dude, he figured out calculus.
Like, the universe is laid out apparent according to these wild mathematical laws that produce music. It's like, fucking love that shit.

Speaker 1 I always feel bad for the guys that are trying to connect the two different types of physics. Oh, trying to find the grand unified theory.
Yeah, yeah. And it's just.
I do feel bad for them, too.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of on the other side where I'm like, hurry it up. What the fuck are you guys doing? Yeah.
We got all these nerds and all this money. We haven't connected the two brands.

Speaker 1 Maybe they're not supposed to be connected, dude. I don't want to look.
I don't want to tell these nerds how to do their job, but it's like... Maybe you guys are blocking up the wrong tree.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've heard a lot of people complaining that it's like we don't care enough. What? Yeah.
Don't tell me that. Yeah, yeah.
That it's just like

Speaker 1 because people are like, how come when there was all these discoveries

Speaker 1 over the course of like a hundred years?

Speaker 1 And then. Well, I think those people were way dumber, too.
So you could say anything. They'd be like, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That still applies to physics. But like an insight like Einstein's, they're like, how come

Speaker 1 trash Einstein's?

Speaker 1 I heard people be like,

Speaker 1 E equals MZ squared. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 I just believe him. I go, yeah, dude, fuck that.
Yeah, yeah. What a bitch.
No, yeah. Einstein was definitely...

Speaker 1 Well, he rejected quantum physics for a long time he did yeah and then i don't know there's all that ended his career in like disgrace which is crazy i know he was like yeah there's all that talk about like yeah einstein was actually really fucking like pissed off when he died yeah was the other guy the quantum physics stuff pissed him off it pissed him off and he couldn't disprove it it is it's angering yeah it is quantum quantum physics is infuriated i don't know anything about it i love it i love the fact that things would be basically like woo and you look at him it goes yeah It's like, yeah, I kind of knew that, honestly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was like, what was the other stuff?

Speaker 1 Where is it coming from? It stays in the quantum field, and as soon as consciousness hits it, it becomes in a particle of reality. Yeah, but you don't think it's alternate universes?

Speaker 1 The alternate universe will just be the universe. There's no such thing.
If there's alternate universes, they would be just part of the universe. Yeah, the universe.
But I get what you're saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, where it's just like it's another you interfering with you.

Speaker 1 I mean, brother. Yes, I totally believe infinite you's interfering.
They reach the wormhole every now and again and just jerk me off

Speaker 1 I didn't want to do this

Speaker 1 I did there was it there was like a couple weeks where I did try to use that to motivate myself

Speaker 1 I need to beat the other me's yeah that's pretty cool yeah oh yeah you read fucking uh dark matter yeah yeah yeah how good was that book that book is amazing great recommend dude i fucking love that i want to watch it i was what did they make a movie of it it's on apple tv i think really i think it's a series on apple tv yeah oh yeah i'm actually uh

Speaker 1 yeah i was laughing i was talking about that recently that was making me laugh when he was like smashing his other world wife yeah and his other timeline wife was like what the and he's like what the fuck you my other i didn't know that was and he's like well i did so yeah yeah what was i supposed to do i don't think that's i think if you're in the if you enter like into some like super position multi-dimensional thing you can you have the right to all your wives and those

Speaker 1 i don't want to start a fight with my wife over this but i almost want to tell her like bro if i get in a super position somehow, I'm taking you down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to go down. All the different dimensions.
Yeah, I'm going to smash you across. I'm going to fuck you in another universe for sure.
I might smash myself. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think, I think, no judgment. Nobody's special.

Speaker 1 Just to see what happens to you? See what's good. How would I react to something like this?

Speaker 1 And you can get fucked without being fucked.

Speaker 1 Oh, that. Because you're fucking yourself.
But you wouldn't know. I guess you could could be like, yo, how's it feel, brother?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And he'd be like, I fucking take it.

Speaker 1 I knew it. You could prove you're not gay.
You can fuck yourself in the quantum super position and be like, yeah, dude, I totally hated it. I beat my ass.
I turned around.

Speaker 1 I was like, yo, what the fuck, dude? I didn't want to do this. How is it not masturbating? Yeah, I mean, it would be, that would be the ultimate fab sesh.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But, yeah, I mean, people are going to not like hearing about

Speaker 1 travel another dimension to take yourself down.

Speaker 1 It'd be so funny. You just see Hitler and you're like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to fuck myself. Yeah, I got to find me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got woken up last night in an absolute panic.

Speaker 1 I haven't had one of those nights in forever. You wake up and you have like six million different things and you're like, oh, fuck.
And I like, I lay down and I, I, uh,

Speaker 1 dude,

Speaker 1 I can't talk about it. It's a, it's a thing.
It's like a project I was working on, but I laughed. It might be the stupidest idea.
I'll tell you afterwards.

Speaker 1 It might be the stupidest fucking idea I've ever came across. And I wouldn't, I couldn't.
I had to like leave the room because I was laughing and go sit on.

Speaker 1 I was like laying on my couch naked, just being like, This is a dumbest fucking thing. It has to do.

Speaker 1 It was a project that you

Speaker 1 started or it's a writing thing I had an idea for. And then it like, I had this flat, it almost made me thought I was having a psychotic break.
It was that stupid, and I couldn't stop laughing at it.

Speaker 1 And I had to like leave my room, just lay on my couch naked, and just be like, that would be fucking funny.

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Speaker 1 oh my god dude so so you woke up in a panic i woke up in in a panic last night with just a rush of ideas, some absolutely terrifying, some absolutely enthralling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I haven't, dude, you know what actually?

Speaker 1 I think coffee was fucking me up from that. Because I used to get these like constant rushes of just like weird, just like, oh, that's a good idea.
This would be funny.

Speaker 1 When I was drinking lots of coffee, and it had to do with sleep deprivation,

Speaker 1 I was just like not getting enough sleep, slamming coffee to stay awake. And I was in this cycle for like three years.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And as soon as I've been off the bean again and again, I'm very sensitive to caffeine. You know, it's not, I'm not saying this is for everybody, but dude, I've been starting to have those like

Speaker 1 wild like just every now and again, I'll be laying there in the middle of the night and stuff will come to me. When I was on the bean, I wasn't getting that.
Dude, yeah. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 And again, that's just me. I do understand like waking up, hitting the Joe, and just getting after it.
That is a nice thing you can do as well. I'm one cup a day, though.

Speaker 1 And you're probably having normal metabolism. I can have one cup a day and it's like the edge of a panic attack.
I know now because of the R ring. Yeah.
I was checking my.

Speaker 1 That's the R ring. What's the

Speaker 1 tracks my stress?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 tracks my stress, sleep, and physical activity. Dude, I swear to God, people can...
Shit. Hopefully people didn't see my sick email to myself over my shoulder.

Speaker 1 Let me see if I can. How does it...

Speaker 1 I've been showing this to everybody, dude. I can't stop fucking spurging about the R ring.

Speaker 1 So apparently there's a vein that runs through your,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 it's not a sponsor or anything.

Speaker 1 There's like a vein that runs through your index finger that that gives you the best thing.

Speaker 1 Right now, I'm just engaged. My stress just started clocking.
I'm engaged. Not stressed.
Yeah. Totally engaged.
But dude, when I was, I've literally showed this to everybody. This is me on caffeine.

Speaker 1 It never really went to a relaxed period. This is me off the bean.
Let me see. Actually, this is, where's the last one? I stopped tracking a lot of these days, but this is like the first day.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, this is on the bean. This is off the bean.
How I dip back down. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then if I have, like, I've had days where I might kind of stressed, but still, I'm hitting these like deep periods of relaxation, like right there. Look at that, bro.

Speaker 1 And that's not a nap. No, the nap, it'll track my nap and it'll tell me, it'll like hit, put dotted lines and be like, looks like you were sleeping.
Yeah, I'd be worried about the data.

Speaker 1 I'd love the data. Well, I was worried because I wanted to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sorry, my nose is.
You wanted to know bean versus no bean. I wanted to know my sleep, first of all.
I just don't like a thing telling me how I'm feeling. Oh, I love it, dude.

Speaker 1 You know, I like, well, here's the thing: I don't know. That's like, I didn't realize how stressed I was because you get into the world of like stress and lack of sleep for so long, it becomes normal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I was like, bro, I'm kind of like chilling.
This is the first time I actually drink coffee and chill.

Speaker 1 And I realized I'm like, oh, I'm never hitting like those deep periods of relaxation throughout the day where I like get, like, if I'm like done everything and I'm just chilling there for a second, my body will just be like

Speaker 1 kind of decompressed. And I think that's like,

Speaker 1 you know, for like writing and thinking of things. Like for me, I've learned if I hit that deep period of relaxation, like a gear will kick onto my brain and like I can start.

Speaker 1 It'll like, I don't know. I think think that's good for me to hit those.
I need those periods. I need the peaks and valleys.
On the bean, I'm just in the peaks. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 And I never hit that deep reset. And I was becoming like, I felt like a zombie, dude.
Yeah. There's a whole other, dude.
There's a whole other part of me when I get to my deep reset, total chill.

Speaker 1 I used to have what it's called chill attacks. Or it's the opposite of a panic attack where I'm like, oh my God, dude, I might be chilling too hard.

Speaker 1 And you'll never be able to get back up. I was just like, bro, I might like disappear.
Like, I'm too chill right now. But that's good.
I feel like that's the zone you need to get into.

Speaker 1 I was pumped on it. I was hitting it and I was like, This is cool.
When I was on the bean, I'm up here, just like total

Speaker 1 all day long. And then I finally just crash at nighttime and fall asleep.
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Find out more at drinknoss.com. Yeah, man, it It is weird.

Speaker 1 Look, again, everyone needs their personalized data.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I wouldn't recommend it for everybody. And I think coffee is honestly the sweetest shit ever to wake up and pound coffee.
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 But, dude, everyone's looking for the escape, the sweet escape.

Speaker 1 Anyone who's like in a relationship or certainly has kids, I feel like, is looking for somehow to take a week-long vacation inside of 15 minutes. Oh, yeah.
Big time. Dude, there is like...

Speaker 1 Waking up sleep deprived with kids yelling and being like, I'm going to get high on caffeine right now. Yeah.
It's a real thing. It's an escape, but it's sweet.
It is so good.

Speaker 1 Again, I don't want to be like puritanical about it. I'm saying for myself, it's at, and then it's the cool thing for me is if I, one day I'm like, you know what? I'm going to have a cup of coffee.

Speaker 1 I can just fucking skits out for like three hours and be like, that was cool. But dude, it hooks you so fast.
Caffeine is so addicting, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I've always said, like, I want to try to nicotine and see if I can just get off of it. And I've heard that's even worse, more addicting than caffeine.
I'm like, now I'm kind of scared.

Speaker 1 I'm like, dude. Nicotine? Yeah.
I was like, it was a motherfucker getting off of caffeine. It was really hard.
Yeah, it's just so nice. It's the routine.
It's the smell.

Speaker 1 It's like, you're preaching to the choir. That's why I drink decaf.
That's why I understand your NA beers because I drink a huge mug of decaf coffee in the morning and I just pretend.

Speaker 1 I go, dude, don't even talk to me until I had

Speaker 1 to talk to you. I know.
Dude, and it's crazy because it's like, yeah, I've had like NA beers at the end of a day, just like sitting in the sun and been like, dude, I am

Speaker 1 drunk right now. Yeah.
Like, I feel feel, my body is like

Speaker 1 simulating first beer brain. That's tight.
Yeah. That's awesome, actually.
Fucking rules. And what about like fourth NA? Are you just kind of like, bro?

Speaker 1 It's, well, the thing is crazy right now. It almost kind of feels like dream scenario where you're like drinking and not getting fucked up.
That's awesome. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like if you're, if you wanted to like be able to pound a bunch of beers and still be able to hang.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's the perfect recipe.
And it doesn't like crush people. When you you drink water at a party, people will be like, water, bro? Yeah, that's.
If you drink NA beers, people respect them a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I like the ones where the graphics are so complicated that you can't tell that's like a liquid death.
The liquid death effect. Yeah, yeah.
People are like, what everything is.

Speaker 1 What is that? Were you drinking an energy drink? Like, no, bro, it's just water. Dude, I, yeah.
Fourth of July, I was just crushing NA beers and then went and did like spots at night.

Speaker 1 And it was like, I felt like a super, superhuman. That's kind of tight.
So do you. It's like I drank all day and I'm sober

Speaker 1 and can do things. It was like that's fantastic.
Are you are you like, do you like hybrid? Are you just on the NA beers right now or are you like doing like a

Speaker 1 well, it's a way I'll do, I'm like, I'm switching to like a targeted strike mode of drinking

Speaker 1 just so no, I'm not drinking all the time for something like really fun and cool, I'll get fucked up. Yeah.
You know what I mean? I'm trying to like kill the

Speaker 1 slam the NAs. Yeah.
That's a good idea. Yeah.
So I'm still like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm not drinking. I'm just like, I'm trying to be

Speaker 1 slow gear, fast. You have gears.
Yeah. You have a shit.
Yeah. You have gear one and gear two.
Yeah. If something's cool, I'll drink for it.
That's a good idea, man. Because I like.

Speaker 1 I like cigars for that reason because it's the same thing. It's like you're not getting fucked up from them.

Speaker 1 They kind of give you a mild buzz, but something you sit there and relax and do for like 40 minutes. Yes.
But I'm such a pussy about the taste the next day.

Speaker 1 I have to really be like, dude, Ulysses Grant had like 50 of these a day. I got to stop being a bitch and just have a shitty cigar mouth.
I know, but there is a cigar hangover. The mouth?

Speaker 1 You're saying like mouth? Yeah, like how your mouth feels. Yeah.
It's like, but I just crushed gum. Now I go like, fuck it.
I'll just crush gum and just stop being such a bitch about it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I like will complain to my dad. My dad loves cigars, and I'm always, I like smoking with him when I'm with him.
And he's like, I'll be like, yeah, but the next day your mouth tastes like shit.

Speaker 1 And he just looks at me like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Girl, like, he gives a fuck out your mouth taste. I'm like, oh, it makes me feel kind of queasy, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it makes me feel weird talking to people. But if you just crush cinnamon gum, dude, you can really get out there and just ignore it altogether.
Cigar is nice, too, because you. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's my.

Speaker 1 You kind of need to be doing things

Speaker 1 outwardly to let people know not to fuck with you. Yeah, true.
Like, when you're having a cigar, people can't assign you tasks.

Speaker 1 That's very true. You know what I mean? It's very easy.
That's also kind of like what I enjoy about like reading is that nobody, you can't read it with me. Yeah, true.
You can't do it with me.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you're watching something on TV and someone sits down and you're like, I don't want to watch this with you. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I don't want to deal with you reacting to this. I just want to be in the book solo experience.
True. Yeah.
And it's one, it's the ultimate sig break. It's like, well, this is going to take 45 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sorry.
And can't you see I'm in a mood? Yeah, I'm doing something right now. Right.
I got, we had a kids' party recently and I got like, I got kind of bucked at the kids' party.

Speaker 1 And I plan, it was, it was go mode mode for me as well. I like, I was like, whenever I'm loading up a cooler during the day, I'm like, I'm going to fucking try to drink.

Speaker 1 And I don't drink that much, but it was for me, it was enough. And I just got kind of sauced up at this party.
And then that night, I was like, I got to walk my dogs.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I'm going to smoke a cigar while I walk my dogs. I was like, kind of hammered.
It was so nice. And I didn't realize there was like a family behind me.
So

Speaker 1 it was like a dad and his kid. And a dad and his 10-year-old kid right behind me.
I just let out a huge cloud of smoke. And I was like,

Speaker 1 yeah, they can't. I'm so sorry.
Guys, I'm so fucking sorry. I was was apologetic because I was like, I'm so sorry.
People blow smoke in my kids' faces. I freak.
Blow.

Speaker 1 Like, if they're like, if we're at the airport and someone stands right in front of me and likes to sig, I'm like, bro, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah.
I genuinely didn't know.

Speaker 1 So I was like, bro, I'm so sorry. I was in an absolute, it was like the sun was coming down.
I was doing my little nature walk with my dogs. I was in fucking heaven, dude.
Dude. Absolute heaven.

Speaker 1 Cigar in the woods.

Speaker 1 It was nice. Super.
It's like a little like, there's like ponds and stuff, and you kind of like walk past them. And I was just absolute heaven until my dogs pull on the leash.

Speaker 1 Then I turn it, it's like a blind rage. I'm like, fuck.
You got to really work on that down here. In Philadelphia, they're way more tolerant of just yanking a dog and be like, what the fuck? Come on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Here, it's like people get mad.

Speaker 1 I noticed they're not really down with that at all. So I've been getting way better with it too, where they yank me, and I'm like,

Speaker 1 now I know I'm like, you probably have to poop. Do you think it's a disrespect thing from the dogs? No, it's just a physical thing.

Speaker 1 It's like I'm walking and my body gets jerked and I'm instantly just furious. Yeah.
I'm walking and my shoulder gets popped. It's like somebody bumping you really hard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like that physical sensation where you're like, what the fuck? You get confused for like a split second. You're like, you just see your dog like,

Speaker 1 you're like, fuck,

Speaker 1 stop, dude, stop. You just fucking almost, I almost fell.
Yeah, I do that with like inanimate objects. Have you hit them? Have you like bump into them? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or if like, if you're moving something and they like fall,

Speaker 1 what the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have. I was like moving like a vase or something and we had like a bunch of like a bunch of like comic books and like book holders.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And one of the book holders just slid out and everything fell. And I was like, it's just me.
I know exactly what happened. Yeah, dude, I was yelling at my girl.

Speaker 1 I was like, these book holders are done. They're done.

Speaker 1 Get them out of here. They don't fucking work.
I'm done with this shit.

Speaker 1 When the fucking books slide this way, dude, what the fuck's dude?

Speaker 1 If I take one book out, where they have like bookends and the whole thing collapses, I'm like, what's the point of those things, dude? I get actually very furious.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when it's like a thin thing, it needs like weight on it in order to work. Dude, when you have kids, especially, and they leave their shit everywhere.

Speaker 1 It used to happen to me when I would paint houses, like when there's just shit everywhere, and I try to walk, and I'm like, there's stuff all around my feet.

Speaker 1 I go into like a toddler freak out where I'm like, get this shit

Speaker 1 out of here.

Speaker 1 I'll be in the room at nighttime, the playroom, it's like with toys, because there's like a path to the door I need to get to. It'll be covered in toys.
My one dog's going blind.

Speaker 1 So he's like walking into shit and falling. And I'll just be like, just fucking shit.
And start kicking stuff. Fucking kicking the rug under me.

Speaker 1 Just start kicking shit everywhere, just by myself at night times.

Speaker 1 Dude, I had the ultimate spaz recently. I forgot about this.

Speaker 1 Where was I? I was somewhere. I was coming back.
I think I was here, actually, doing a podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, I was here.
I did one with Marcus King. We went out to eat.
I'm a fucking dumbass.

Speaker 1 I knew I didn't have enough time. I had to take my dog to the vet.
And I'm like, I could squeeze in lunch. And

Speaker 1 as soon as the ball was in motion, I was like, there's no way I can pull this off.

Speaker 1 I know. That's your whole life.
Oh, it's my whole life. Oh, and then I take it to go like a weirdo.
I was like, actually, you guys are going to want to take my food and go have fun at lunch.

Speaker 1 It's the worst thing ever. That's my whole life.

Speaker 1 It's like, how are you going to turn down going to lunch or whatever to Marcus King? It's like, you're going to do it.

Speaker 1 And then you realize that you're completely fucked. And now you have to do an even more embarrassing thing.
Well, my wife called me as I sat down for lunch.

Speaker 1 She's like, you're not going to be able to do this. I was like,

Speaker 1 I can. I knew I could.
I knew you were going to be able to do it. Why don't you let me worry about me?

Speaker 1 I knew I was fucked. And then I'm like, I'm waiting.
I'm sitting there like every second. They didn't bring out my food is agony.
I'm like, fuck. Cause my wife's like, you can't order anything.

Speaker 1 You just have to leave now. And I was like, I can get it to go.
Dude. And then I go to leave.
I'm late. I call the place.
I'm like, yo, I'm going to be 15 minutes late.

Speaker 1 They're like, yeah, that's cool. Gridlock.
Fucking Biden came to town. Dude, shut down the whole fucking thing.
And so I'm like, what the fuck is he doing here? There's no point of him being here.

Speaker 1 He fucked up the whole city. Dude, it was like for real, 35 to 40 minutes.
It's a 12-minute drive to my house. Yeah.
I couldn't, I would come to a thing, get stopped. There could be cops there.

Speaker 1 I'd go back around, more traffic. I did this forever.
My wife's calling me. She's like, fine, I'll take the dogs myself.
I'm like, don't take the fucking dogs. I'll get the dogs.
Actually, fuck it.

Speaker 1 I'll cancel the appointment. We're going back and forth.
And she hung up without saying goodbye. And dude, I punched my, my phone's on this little thing.

Speaker 1 I fucking just punched my phone and then threw it. And I hit my phone so hard that it dialed 911 thinking I'd been in a car crash.
I didn't know phones could do that, by the way.

Speaker 1 I fucking rocked my phone. It was like a double punch, slam against the door, fucking slammed my phone.
The ring had to be pissed. She claimed she hung up on accident, by the way.
I know better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't mean that. I didn't know you were still talking.
We'll just let that one live.

Speaker 1 Dude, the point is, I hit my phone so hard. I didn't spazz like this in a while.
It was a full fucking spaz, like a retro spazz. And dude, so then my phone, I threw it.
I couldn't find it.

Speaker 1 I'm still trying to drive. And there's cops directing stuff.
So my phone's against the side of my thing, hooked up to my car phone. So it's like 911.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, and I have to pull over and grab my phone, and I hang up. And they call me back, like, what's your emergency? I was like, bro, I spazzed my wife and punched my phone.

Speaker 1 He just laughed. It was like, it's all good, bro.
You're good.

Speaker 1 I was like, dude, apparently, if you throw your phone really hard, it calls 911. He's like, oh, so you're fine.
I'm like, yeah, I'm fine, bro. I just spazzed out.
My wife's pissing me off, dude.

Speaker 1 He's like, all right, brother. I watched, I watched that.
What? Them shut down I-35. Because my place looks out on I-35.
Yeah. And like, because they just turn a traffic.
I'm a traffic junkie, dude.

Speaker 1 Do not, do not fuck up traffic unless it's the most important thing in the world. When you say junkie, you mean like you.
I just, I, things need to flow. I just.
Oh, so you're a flow junkie. Yes.

Speaker 1 I thought you were saying you crazy. No, no, no.
I can't stand traffic. Literally, like, since I was a toddler, if we got in traffic, I would like try to go to sleep in the backseat.

Speaker 1 It's the only thing that I have like genuinely have like a phobia of. Yeah, just stopping.
Yes. And I can't stand it.
I don't understand it. It drives me nuts.
So the idea that somebody...

Speaker 1 You weren't even in the traffic. I was just, dude, I was standing on my balcony looking at him and being like, this is outrageous.
This is outrageous.

Speaker 1 You were cursing it from above. Dude, because they shut it down for like five hours.
Dude, it fucked me up. And it's like, take a fucking helicopter.
Don't come. Yes.
You're demented. Stay out.

Speaker 1 Don't spend. Dude, it's millions of dollars.
It's got to cost them millions of dollars to come here. Stop it.
Dude, I remember hearing a report that

Speaker 1 traffic in China costs their economy like

Speaker 1 billions, hundreds of billions of dollars every year. And so every time I see something like that, it's like, this is costing the state of Texas money.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 On top of obviously paying everyone to shut down the fucking highway. But it's insane.

Speaker 1 This is like people aren't getting to where they need to go. Packages are not being delivered.
Things are fucking not happening because why?

Speaker 1 Dude, you're not even, you quit. No one's going to try to kill you now.
I know, I know. I think they were hoping that they were probably lobbing him up.

Speaker 1 Like, you better, you guys better not shoot this guy. I mean, dude, they could, they could helicopter him to the airport.
I know,

Speaker 1 save everyone the trouble. Just never shut down the highway, dude.
Let him do it from TV, too, man. Yeah, it was also

Speaker 1 102 degrees out. Or just put a drive on the highway in the tank.

Speaker 1 Don't tell anybody he's coming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nobody knew. The only way people found out was them shutting down.
I was like, who the fuck is this? Dude,

Speaker 1 the vet that I was supposed to go to, I called him and I was like, bro, I'm just not coming. Like, 35 shut down.
They're like, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, like, dude, how many people, say you had to like, you're like a cake maker and you had to deliver a birthday cake. And you're like, yo, I can't make it to you right now.
I'm fucked. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or there's a bunch of people that you like had appointments at your fucking spa or your nail place or your vet or whatever and that didn't show up because and had a valid excuse.

Speaker 1 And you're just like, well, fuck. Yeah, so they could do some weird satanic enterprise just like puppeting around a fucking demented guy.
Yeah, what did he give it?

Speaker 1 I mean, I can't even imagine what he said. I think you're right.
I think they just propped him up for the headshot. They're like, bro, please take it off.
This will only, this will be so sick.

Speaker 1 Because then they would win. What? It's just like the whole image martyrdom thing.
If Biden gets shot, they will spin it into like. Just put a mask on a regular guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, fake him out. Yeah, maybe maybe you can't even.
Yeah. Yeah, they shouldn't.
Would you even care? What? If they faked Biden?

Speaker 1 If you found out 100 Biden was doing like six events in different places at the same time.

Speaker 1 No, I wouldn't. You'd go, good.
It'd be more like a bad thing. We'll get their photos.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, exactly.
If you go to Disneyland and you take a picture with Mickey Mouse, you're not like, this isn't fucking Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 1 You're just like, yeah, the guy put his suit on. We're getting the photo.

Speaker 1 Or like mega churches, a lot of them have satellite churches where they just like, they're at one place and just beams out to different locations. Like, let him be on fucking TV, man.

Speaker 1 That guy does not need to be flying in fucking Air Force One, yeah, rallying the troops. Yeah, the practice of the dude, the Kamala craze is sweet.
I think that shit's been making me laugh so hard.

Speaker 1 Like, no, there's a genuine movement growing behind. I'm like, I'm almost positive this is not a genuine movement.
There's no way. No one's.

Speaker 1 This is not a grassroots be like people are really waking up to Kamala. It's like, no, they're not.
This is all PR firms. Yeah.
1,000%.

Speaker 1 Yeah. White dudes for Kamala, not a grassroots movement.
I can assure you of that.

Speaker 1 I get a sense of relief that Biden quit, but genuine enthusiasm is like

Speaker 1 terrifying for Kamala. That's not true.

Speaker 1 It can't be. They're trying to be like, yeah, dude, she's basically like Obama.

Speaker 1 No, she's not. I've never met one.
Yeah. We've also, we've tasted the sweet fruit of a black president.
So it's like they're trying to cash in like first female black president.

Speaker 1 And then there's everyone's like, she's actually Indian.

Speaker 1 Obama was the end of people thinking that something would be different. Yeah.
That was the great disillusionment.

Speaker 1 I even was like, bro, this is like, this is crazy, man. We're living in a different world now.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's the same. It's the exact same.
And then, yeah. So now it's just like, nobody's going to be excited.
How could you be excited? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She'd have to be cool. Like, I don't know why they can't find someone who's genuinely cool.

Speaker 1 Like, they're such fucking dorks. I don't know.
I mean, it's obvious. When you're cool, you're like, I'm not going to sit in Washington for 15 years and lick people's fucking shoelaces.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll do it.

Speaker 1 I feel like there should be more referendums. What's that? What is that? Well, I don't know.
When I voted,

Speaker 1 there would be like the names of the people, and then they would ask you a question at the bottom that was like, you want a casino here? Or like,

Speaker 1 I like that. They're feeling about weed.

Speaker 1 They should just have one that's just like, should everyone, should we fire everyone that works in Congress? and start over. Yeah, that'd be so sweet.
Just, and it's like, take a vote on it.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. Everyone who's currently in is out and no longer allowed to run.

Speaker 1 Let's, yeah, let's fucking. Like, they do it with waiters at restaurants.
Like, they do with waiters at restaurants, where it's like, you got to clean house.

Speaker 1 You know, a restaurant, you got to fire your whole wait staff every five years because they get all

Speaker 1 the stuff. It gets affected.
They start having their friends come in and giving people like a bartenders like to show up when I'm working.

Speaker 1 It becomes all this like free deal kind of economy where they all start being like, I run this place. I've heard from multiple people every five years.

Speaker 1 You might keep one loyal dog and just fucking shop the heads of your whole staff. Yeah.
And it's like, it sounds fucked up, but

Speaker 1 I've known so many people at restaurants who get jobs there and they're like, yo, come in. I'll get, don't worry about your check.
Like, just pay me a big tip and I'll ring you up for like 20 bucks.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. I've seen that happen multiple times.
I just come in, I'm bartending, like, I got you. Yeah.
Which apparently

Speaker 1 bartenders are like part of the job is knowing when you're supposed to get free drinks part of bartender culture. But a lot of them will abuse it and have people in and be like, fuck who's this? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't want to like.

Speaker 1 Shit, I think Gardini's stuck outside. Oh, the Medes and Gardini.

Speaker 1 Where are we at time-wise?

Speaker 1 Hour three. Oh, my God, dude.

Speaker 1 What time do you got to go?

Speaker 1 I got a little time. All right, let's bring it up.
The whole flight's going to get canceled anyway. Oh, what time's your flight? Hurricane 3.
2.45. All right, let's slide into the Patreon.

Speaker 1 What do you have? Where can people catch you? Obviously, Stuff Island. Stuff Island.
Check out Stuff Island.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much it. What show? You got shows coming up? Are you guys coming off that? You guys had a big old tour.

Speaker 1 Going up to Philly for tires. Sweet.
For the rest of the year, I think. All right, nice, man.
You're gone. Which is awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend was complaining that I always seem every time someone asked me how I'm doing on a podcast. I'm like, fine.
Yeah, I mean, she's like, things are good. Yeah.
Maybe say things are good.

Speaker 1 Because you got to get in a double bracelet mode and be like, bro, everything is just like, it's all fall important to plan, dude. Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 Also, like, that's like a big fear in my life is like being positive and then catastrophe striking.

Speaker 1 Try it. Do it as an experiment.
Like, I'd so much rather be on a podcast and be like, I don't know, things are good. And then I die.
And people are like,

Speaker 1 he kind of saw it coming.

Speaker 1 Everything's awesome.

Speaker 1 Everyone laughs at your dead body.

Speaker 1 It's all on the up and up. I can't see a bad thing happening.
Dude, I've been convinced that

Speaker 1 80%

Speaker 1 of doing any sort of like acting stand-up, 80% of the job is learning how to like stop the ceaseless torrent of negative self-thoughts. Yeah.
I did do a thing the other day.

Speaker 1 I was so uncomfortable the whole time, and I was like, My job is to not freak out. That's all I got to do is not freak out and do my best.
I did with stand-up.

Speaker 1 I've like learned to like, I used to sit back there and be like, fuck,

Speaker 1 fuck. Yeah.
Dude, I suck. I'm going to fucking forget everything and freak out.
I've been trying to tap into like, bro, it is what it is. I'm having a good time.
Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 You're not having a good time. I'm having a good time.
And I'll see someone not having fun. I'm like, what the fuck is that bro? Yeah.
I spiral into a place where I'm like, are these even your ideas?

Speaker 1 This is what you're, this is what you're bringing to the table. Like, things that I like genuinely thought was funny.
I'm just like, this is who you are?

Speaker 1 What the fuck is wrong with you? Just say something interesting. You got it, double leatherist.

Speaker 1 Man, this is crazy, bro. Nobody does it like me.

Speaker 1 Of all the things you could possibly say, you chose these subjects.

Speaker 1 You're an embarrassment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chris O'Connor, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 We'll slide into the Patreon.

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